#500 words into this chapter and i . Hate it
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18.5 . . . “ a meaningless emotion ”
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
— 🤍 his side story, chapter 18. this is one you can purchase on your second play through of his route.
— cw: the very end may be considered suicidal ideation.
Alfons: ...I think I’ve had just about enough of this blasted sob story.
I slipped out of the bed and changed——if I loitered around the castle, running into her would be a pain.
(Today there’ll be some merrymaking happening amongst the eccentric nobility.)
It wasn’t as though I wanted to go out of my way to go there, but it was a perfect way to kill time.
—— Time skip ——
Alfons: Alright then, what shall we bet on next?
Drunken man: I got it! How about this oil painting that my old man said was his most valued one, not that I know anything about it!
Crossdressing woman: Did you steal that? Vincent… huh, who is this? Never heard of him. Isn’t it just a cheap thing?
Alfons: Hehe, I must say it’s quite unlike nobility to worry over the value of the good.
Crossdressing woman: But it’s not so exciting, you know, it’s better to have something that shows its value.
Alfons: Well then… how about I give a dream where “this painting is worth 500 pounds?”
Man smoking a cigar: Oh, that’s a good idea.
Whether it was nobility, drunken people at some street corner of the bar, the orphans at the East End, and what have you, they weren’t so different.
They would find any pleasure they could through gambling, liquor, or sex, so they could live while avoiding their pains and worries.
Drunken nobleman: Hey, Al, is that rumor about you having a recent favorite true?
Noble lady with gloves: Al, you mustn’t become someone’s partner! We need you to stay a star of all single nobles.
Alfons: Yes, yes, such was my intention.
Drunken nobleman: So you say, but your heart’s already taken by that person, isn’t it?
Alfons: Hehe, I digress.
Man smoking a cigar: …Let’s just leave it at that. If we question him any more, he may never come again, and that would sure put us in a bind.
Man smoking a cigar: Even if his heart’s got its sights set on someone, it’s fine as long as he shares some of that pleasure… isn’t that right?
Noble lady with gloves: Well, I suppose. Ahh, I hope my father gives up on matters of my marriage soon…
(‘My heart’s already taken by that person’… huh.)
When I heard those words that seemed to embody the soul of romanticism,
Kate was the one and sole person who came to mind, and for a moment, I felt called out.
——You hurt me so much and leave me in the dust, but now you decide to commit? That’s just cruel…!
At some point, the little robin had made its home within my mind, making an angered face and suddenly turning away.
(Hehe… it’s not as though I’m committing.)
Alfons: Perhaps I do have some guilt left in me… ah, it’s a straight flush.
Drunken man: Al’s win again?!
As I was staring in a daze at the trump cards raining and fluttering down,
just as I had intended, time melted away into idleness.
I ended up drinking through the night until dawn and having a meat pie from a street seller for breakfast, I returned to the castle, and——
Alfons: Oh?
In a stroke of bad luck, I happened upon Roger and Miss Kate walking together.
Kate: Ah... w-welcome back.
Roger: Hey there, Al.
Leaving aside the mentally strong former doctor who, regardless whether he was aware he was being hated on, would initiate a conversation with a light tone and carefree smile,
Miss Kate very obviously looked awkward.
(I can’t even flatter your acting skills.)
She was the complete opposite of me, who had a lot of practice when it came to plastering on a smile.
Alfons: Well I’ll be, are you on your way to a most friendly outing, the two of you?
Kate: Ah, no, we’re...
Roger: What, curiosity got you piqued?
As if to make a point, Roger wrapped his arm around Kate’s shoulder snugly.
Kate: Roger!? What are you doing—
Roger: Alright then, let me fill you in. We’re gonna be spending the whole entire day holed up in a locked room, just the two of us. Let’s get along now, yeah?
(This man needs to get a hobby.)
(I hardly have any intention of hopping on that cheap provocation.)
Alfons: Oh my, is that so? It would appear you’ve found yourself a lovely playmate while I was not around. I’m happy for you, Miss Kate.
Kate: …
I gave a smile to convey I didn’t think anything of it, and Miss Kate, as though hurt, furrowed her brows.
(Aha, you poor soul, you.)
I figured she probably wasn’t clinging to Roger in hopes that he would heal her broken heart.
I knew very well that she was hardly the type to be able to do such things.
Her single-mindedness in facing me no matter how much I refused or hurt her was staunch to be sure.
(And that’s exactly what makes her different from me… I suppose.)
(Well, whether she’ll make it out safely from the basement after being alone with this man is a different story…)
(But it doesn’t have anything to do with me, so.)
The moment I tried to leave, Miss Kate opened her mouth, as though trying to pull me back.
Kate: Alfons..!
Alfons: ? Yes, what is it?
Kate: ...I still very much like you.
Alfons: ...Come again?
Roger: ... (O_O)
It was such a sudden confession of love, I stiffened out of instinct.
(………Has she gone bonkers?)
(You do know I’m the man who played your feelings of love, and to top it all off, told you it was all a ‘nuisance’ and left the bed, right?)
And yet she still insisted on pouring these dazzling words on me; what else could I think her as, if not crazy?
Kate: Even if this all amounts to a nuisance to you... this is the ‘truth’ for me, so.
Alfons: .........
(Ah, now I’ve done it. This should be the part where I laugh it all off.)
I needed to make her think that, no matter how earnestly she threw her feelings at me, they would never get through, so she could give up on me.
(So that these feelings of love she holds for me amounts to nothing but garbage…)
(I need to laugh at her, to deny her——)
My mind knew that, and yet for some reason, my lips couldn’t form a smile.
Kate: Okay, we’re going, Roger.
Miss Kate, seeming as though she wanted to run from my silence, ran down the staircase leading to the basement.
Roger: Pfft, haha... I feel like I haven’t seen you so dumbfounded in forever.
As Kate’s footsteps grew more distant, I heard an unpleasant laughter.
I hated how this man would not seem to pay any mind to the feelings of others like that.
Alfons: ...Oh, believe me, she is far from the first who’s rendered me so positively dumbfounded like this.
Roger: Hmm? So is it safe to say she’s no different than anyone else to you then?
R: Because if so, I may or may not end up stealing her away for real.
While slowly turning for the staircase, those egoistic lips showed a provoking smile.
Roger: After all, it’s not like you’d really care what happens to a toy you don’t need anymore, right?
Alfons: ………
Perhaps the reason I felt displeasure rise up from within me was because the one before me was a man filled with haughty arrogance.
Or was it because she was the one getting stolen?
(Whichever it is, I shouldn’t care for the answer.)
(Because, in any case, I didn’t have such a choice to step even further into her life to find the reason for this temporary displeasure.)
If that was the case, thinking on it was foolish. And yet——
Her lips, which were trembling as she declared how she ‘still liked me,’
the palms of her hands, which were gripped tightly together as though grasping onto courage,
and those eyes that looked so directly at me, as if to say to not misunderstand,
were all engraved into the back of my mind, refusing to let go.
The heavy footsteps going down the staircase grated on my ears, severely so.
For the feeling of a favorite toy being stolen away, it felt extremely bitter.
(Is this… jealousy? Me, of all people? But, how?)
The notion of getting something I said I didn’t need taken away, and then still feeling displeased over it and whatnot, was much like a child’s selfishness.
And besides——
(…The most I was able to do was imitate love, feeling nothing but emotional disconnect.)
Alfons: …I suppose the biggest mystery to one is themself.
Labeling the jealousy I felt that bubbled up from somewhere in me as ‘meaningless,’ I threw it behind me.
Thinking on it more would only make my helplessness more clear than it already was.
Hoping to idle the time away, I walked to my room, when all of a sudden, a certain question came to mind.
(Come to think of it, if they’re not doing anything shady, then what in the world are those two doing in the basement…?)
For a moment, I felt a sense of unease.
Miss Kate, who had said she ‘still liked me,’
was with Roger, the one who spouted off some nonsense about ‘changing fates’ and whatnot,
and they were in the basement, where a lot of documents concerning ‘Cursed ones’ were abundant, which would mean…
Alfons: …Now that just can’t be. She wouldn’t be so much a fool as to not know when to not give up, would she.
I denied it with my voice, but my chest got more and more filled with that uneasy feeling.
(What if, even after I pushed her away this far, it was already too late?)
(What if she poured even more of her feelings into me, continuing to spend more time with me——?)
Alfons: …Should that time ever come,
A: Perhaps I should simply up and disappear, just like that.
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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️ ╱ comms 🤍
NOTE: this is the last his side story i will translate, and the last chapter i will translate concerning alfons main story. thank you for accompanying me so long in this translation, to those who have read it all! it really means a lot to me! i enjoy translating for al lots, and i hope that came through as you were reading overall 🥹🙏
to those who will be reading his route in en, i hope you enjoy what this roller coaster of a route has to offer! theres a lot of complexities woven into his route thats sure give you something to think about. i translated this last chapter to close off the project, putting in my best wishes for you 🫶
i have heard from those who have read what i did for elbies main story that reading my tl has helped enhance their reading experience in en, and i hope this can do the same for you! or if you cant afford the premium stories or dont want to grind for these his side stories, i hope i could provide a way for you to access them more freely. again, thank you to everyone who has supported me, read my tls, interacted with these posts, etc.
its largely thanks to you that i can close this project and look back on it with positive memories! 🪞🤍✨
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia
#this is probably my fav his side 🥹🫶#i think it really digs well into als thoughts#and emotional state#if that makes sense#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil alfons#ikevil alfons sylvatica#alfons sylvatica#ikemen villains alfons#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome#ikevil translation#ikevil translations#d: cafekitsune
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unimaginable scenes of strife are happening in my google docs
#500 words into this chapter and i . Hate it#like the outline of the scene is solid. i just hate rhe *gestures vaguely* inline#GAHH#i’m running into the same problem i ran into with the original no reason fic#WHICH ENDED UP BEING ALMOST BEYOND SALVAGING#so maybe i’m better off cutting my losses and starting from scratch now instead of in 2k words time#sigh. maybe i’ll put on hunting in the background for inspi
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wouldn't expect a lot of queenmaker until ~christmas time, which is not what i would like to say but my body is just telling me to ease up after november and i'm hitting that pre-holiday slump so we're just chillin. we're playing a game for the first time in six months. we're doing a puzzle. my eyes are really blurry rn so i think i'll go to bed.
#i did manage to sit down and do a lot of planning for queenmaker specifically though#had a good chat with zom mom about pacing and stuff#i say 'ease up' like i haven't added more projects/tasks to the list#i've just half started looking at planning and editing rather than writing like crazy#picked up daily korean practice again#added my novel back to my wip list#we're now working on the basis of 'every time i hate my job and i want a new career i write 1k of my novel'#whatever works#this is a lot of tags for someone with very blurry eyes#the game thing actually doesn't help with physical illness my tv is too small and it just makes my eyes strain really hard#one day someone is going to give me the gs i'm owed and i'll get to buy a new one#technically i saved for a new tv six months ago my savings are just tied up in an offshore account called Someone Else's Pockets#these tags have gotten way out of hand#i just wanted to talk about my life idk#been too busy to talk to my friends about life? post it in the tumblr tags#anyway i'm sure z m or keeps or someone is all the way down here#Roundup!#queenmaker has like 16 chapters plotted#none of chapter 5 written but i'm definitely. looking at starting it.#nevermore i wrote 500 words#haven't looked at it in a week#know exactly where it goes so if i'm not stuck i'm circling back within a month#pirates is ongoing most nights#however i don't know what the scene by scene play is so#very much Just Vibing i added what i will call the cake scene today because i was emotional about an uneaten piece of cake from a month ago#so that's where pirates and my mental health are at#damn this is a full life update huh#systems check#heart (the novel) is truly at 100k now#i figured out the holes in the first part of it so i can actually connect all these dots now
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Thank you for writing My Body Aches to Breath Your Breath, it's just so good! The line " “I can hold back for you, because it’s you,” Obi-Wan whispered. “I have been for weeks. I can bear anything for you, Anakin.” " kills me every time I read it. I love it so much.
Thank you, nonny 😭
I feel like you can distill so much of Obi-Wan into his devotion and determination. I really wanted to drive home how devoted he is to Anakin, how his stubbornness to protect Anakin even from himself is such a powerful display of that love he has. Writing smut is fun but I'm really here to find and share ways how their love can be put into ridiculous scenarios that lead to the horniest outcomes. Obi-Wan being so in love with Anakin that he's able to resist even his own biology is so hot.
#obikin#the next chapter is just causing me so much problems#i wrote like 500 words today and hated all of it and threw it in the trash#but i wrote so that's the first step
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I finished my shitty ass vent fic today at 5 a.m. and it's horrible, but it's finished<3
#its 11 chapters long pre revision and the longest is around 500 words#500 n something. the end is not satisfying but my depressive episode wasn't satisfying#and i made it to vent about it although is now over (i did put someone of my Current Problem:tm: tho). so yeah lol#its just a shitty story of two people (shuichi and kokichi) who destroyed each other due to their unresolved problems#and while it wasnt the direct cause; shu's shitty relationship with ko just made his depression worse#and well; he killed himself lol. kokichi will continue with his life but if he ever thinks he deserves a bit of compassion#then he just has to remember what he did to his supposed boyfriend. ko already hated himself though#i kind of made this in parallelism of chase and caspian (kokichi with severe anger issues and shuichi with hopelessness)#but as an actual toxic relationship instead of both of them trying to be as healthy as possible despite everything#i wanted angst y'know? and well.#but hey i finished writing something so for me its fine#iván whispers
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CHAPTER 5 - page 1/?
original word count: 1507
revised word count: 478
click for ch 5's full comparison document.
original:
Every step toward the line of trees was too swift, too light, too soon carrying me to whatever torment and misery awaited. I didn’t dare look back at the cottage. We entered the line of trees. Darkness beckoned beyond. But a white mare was patiently waiting—unbound—beside a tree, her coat like fresh snow in the moonlight. She only lowered her head—as if in respect, of all things—as the beast lumbered up to her. He motioned with a giant paw for me to mount. Still the horse remained calm, even as he passed close enough to gut her in one swipe. It had been years since I’d ridden, and I’d only ridden a pony at that, but I savored the warmth of the horse against my half-frozen body as I climbed into the saddle and she set into a walk. Without light to guide me, I let her trail the beast. They were nearly the same size. I wasn’t surprised when we headed northward—toward faerie territory—though my stomach clenched so tightly it ached. Live with him. I could live out the rest of my mortal life on his lands. Perhaps this was merciful—but then, he hadn’t specified in what manner, exactly, I would live. The Treaty forbade faeries from taking us as slaves, but—perhaps that excluded humans who’d murdered faeries.
revised:
We entered the dark slash of trees, where a white mare waited, her coat gleaming like fresh snow in the moonlight. The beast growled, “Mount.” The last time I’d ridden had been before my family fled the manor. I clambered into the saddle and savored the horse’s warmth against my half-frozen thighs. She set into a walk, following the beast north. Toward Prythian. I’d never met anyone who’d entered the faerie realm. Mortals who crossed the wall—either snatched by faeries or those who’d gone willingly as tributes of the Children of the Blessed—never returned. Snow crunched beneath paws and hooves. I’d never seen the forest so still. I tried to calm my nerves by scanning the trees for an ash tree’s deeply ridged bark, even though I’d never seen one growing in these woods. Before leaving the cottage, I’d slipped my hunting knife into my pocket, but if I could just get ahold of a twig—a splinter—I’d feel safer. I’d already killed one faerie; I could kill another if I had to. Ahead, the beast’s horns speared the night sky. Steam curled from its snout. Did it expect me live with it? It’d said I could live on its lands, but in what manner? The Treaty forbade faeries from taking humans as slaves—but
#I hate this chapter tbh#nothing fucking happens#which is why I slashed it from 1.5k words to under 500#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#acotar rewrite#sarah j maas#sjm critical#acotar critical#anti acotar
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Kiss It Better
Seven minutes in heaven with Ethan Landry turns out to be the therapy you both needed.
(Ethan Landry x Reader)
A/N: My first (overdue) Ethan fic! Pre ejac with Ethan is one of my guiltiest pleasures…Minors/Ageless blogs DNI
Word count: 1.5K
Tags: SMUT / Fem! Reader / Enemies to lovers / Handjobs / Fingering / Premature ejaculation / Virgin! Ethan + Experienced! Reader / Dirty talk / Dom + Sub elements, if you squint
Ethan didn’t know how he’d gotten here; back pressed against the narrow walls of a shoe cupboard whilst he fought the process of perspiration, which seemed damn near impossible given the stuffiness of the frat house.
His heart pounded in his chest as he squirmed uncomfortably, desperate not to look you in the face. You, the bane of his existence, had become stuck together, counting the seconds as the time passed for the dreaded seven minutes.
It was a Friday night, and expectedly, Chad had dragged him to another party, filled with cheap alcohol and set to the aura of low, coloured lighting. He hadn’t expected you to show up - people usually only showed up to parties for one thing, and you were already dating Bryce, someone who happened to be his classmate.
To put it simply, Bryce was an ass. He was a self entitled econ student, with a Fortune 500 father and a future budding stint in jail for fraud - should he ever be caught - though guys like Bryce never did.
Two things made it worse - One, the fact that he seemed to target Ethan himself, and two, that you, his girlfriend, never seemed to do anything about it…to the point that it was encouraged.
There was never a moment where Bryce hadn’t threatened Ethan for ‘help’ (it was much, much more than that) to the latest assignment, or made a snide comment towards him in the hallways. He hated it, but he’d always been kind of a pushover.
So wasn’t it ironic that you’d ended up rolling him at a game of ‘Spin the Bottle?’
“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, clearing his throat. “I know you probably wanted someone like Chad…”
You snorted.
“He definitely wouldn’t have hurt,” you sighed, staring up at the ceiling, likely begging for someone to rescue you. “But I’ve been there, done that….plus, I’ve already got a man,”
Ethan raised his brows at your flippant admission. Chad hadn’t mentioned that before.
“…Does Bryce know you’re here?” he stammered.
“Yup,” you said nonchalantly, popping your tongue. “He didn’t stop me, so I guess our chapter’s closed,”
“Y-You broke up?” Ethan said, throat dry as he choked on his own words. This probably meant that the bastard would be even more of an ass to him, if that were even possible.
You nodded.
Ethan stared at you with wide eyes, about to speak when you raised a finger.
“I don’t need your pity. It’s just a college fling, I’ll move on to the next.”
He raised his brow and puffed his cheeks at that statement. He’d heard the exact opposite, but who was he to speak about someone else’s relationship?
It was silent for a few moments, with you finding a particular interest in your nails before you looked up at Ethan, studying him intently. He was rather big for a nerd; tall, with surprisingly wide shoulders and arms - a direct contrast to his boyish curly hair. He’d always been nothing but shy and polite - something even Bryce had echoed - but you’d never really taken him seriously. At most, he was just some dude from Econ who happened to room with one of your past flings.
Still, whether it was the liquor induced haze from cheap alcohol or the fact that you were moping over your breakup, the little dork seemed rather appealing. After all, what was a better way to get over a failed relationship?
“Look, I’m sorry for how that came out, okay?” You huffed, making eye contact with him. “I’m a little hurt, and I can be a total ass sometimes…Just like Bryce. I’m sorry for how he treated you. Totally not cool.”
You tried not to giggle at the way the boy's eyes widened.
“Y-You don’t have to apologise, it’s not really your fault!” the boy stammered. “Bryce is — He’s Bryce. And I actually liked doing his assignments, they’re kinda fun when you’re really into the topic…! I-I mean not to—“
His rambling was silenced by your lips on his, taking charge as you smeared the taste of your lipgloss across his lips, consuming every one of his stifled gasps. You pulled away, unable to hide a smirk as he ran a hand through his hair; face flushed and panting. He was so animated in his actions that it was hard to believe he was real.
“Y-You kissed me…”
“Sorry,” you hummed. “I won’t do it again,”
“No! No, I liked it…” Ethan said desperately. “A lot…” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you’d be into a guy like me…”
You smirked and shrugged your shoulders.
“You’re pretty cute for a nerd. Besides, it’s pointless to waste our time here, isn’t it?”
“I-I think time should be up soon —“ the boy continued to stammer, but you rolled your eyes and placed a finger to his lips, silencing him.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” you whispered, draping your arms around his neck before you began to kiss him again, this time running your fingers through his hair, your graceful fingertips sending chills down his spine. He reciprocated, opting not to go too far and settling with his hands on your waist, tracing the curve of your spine as he relaxed into the motions of your lips against his.
Was he dreaming?
His somewhat emboldened move made you smirk, and you pressed your body against his, breasts pushing against his chest and thigh rubbing along his crotch, causing him to gasp.
“Shit…” he mumbled, pulling away as he tried to adjust himself. “I’m sorry, I —“
“Ethan,” you sighed, cupping his cheeks. “You don’t have to be sorry, I like it. And as long as you do too, I’m down. Just relax, okay?”
He nodded, mesmerised as you took his hand, and interlocked your fingers, guiding them from the soft mounds of your breasts to past your thighs, eventually slipping them under your skirt. Ethan’s fingertips had pushed your panties to the side with ease, and the boy almost choked as he enveloped his digits in your folds.
You were warm and wet, and so his movements inside you came easy. If the fact that he was touching you weren’t mesmerising enough, it was your unwavering eye contact that made his heart clench. You were taking control, and yet you were still submissive enough to let him explore you - solidified by the entranced look in your eye.
He must’ve been doing something right.
“Feel good?” you hummed, not really listening out for an answer. Ethan’s low, ragged breaths told you everything, and you almost took pity on him for what was to come.
Sliding your hands down his torso, you stopped at his jeans, cupping his bulge and giving it a gentle squeeze. He gasped; involuntarily pulling you towards him as his head draped slightly on your shoulder. He was practically keeling over and you’d barely even touched him.
Smirking, you skilfully unzipped his fly and dug around in his briefs, gripping your hands around his cock before pulling it out. His precum dripped tip grazed your thigh, twitching as you began to stroke the vessel, admiring its girth.
Ethan whimpered, shutting his eyes as he parted his lips, lost in the flurry of sensations. He’d just found your clit, and he revelled in the way you’d moaned as he rubbed it, causing your walls to clench on his fingers…and now here you were, jerking him off.
“Is this your first handjob, Eth?” you purred into his ear. He could barely fathom an answer, instead nodding vehemently, tousling his hair in the process.
“Aw,” you giggled, giving his balls a gentle squeeze as you kissed his reddening neck. “I’m so lucky to be your first…I bet you’ve been dreaming of this for a while, hm?”
Ethan squeezed his eyes shut, gasps slowly getting louder as he took deeper breaths. He withdrew his face from your shoulder to look at you, a beautiful devil, eyes clouded with lust as they glimmered in the dim lighting of the house around you. In this moment, nothing mattered, and he took the opportunity to kiss you - to which you eagerly returned.
His movements became more frantic as you squealed at his sudden aggression, your mixture of shock and fear somehow turning him on even more. It reminded him of all the screams of fear when he —
“Fuck, Eth,” you whined further, drawing him from his thoughts. “You’re so big, no wonder why Bryce hated you…” you mused before letting out a chuckle. “…You know, I’ve always secretly had a thing for nerds.”
Whether you were being genuine or not, Ethan immediately spilled his load at the statement, moaning loudly in your shoulder as his body convulsed and fingers twitched. His rich cum coated your fingers, and you laughed as he writhed against you, riding out his high. He’d only lasted three minutes, but they were the best three minutes of his life.
He hid his face shyly as he looked back up at you.
“That quick, hm?” you giggled, licking the excess off of your skin. “You continue to flatter me, Landry,”
“Let me make it up to you,” he said boldly, wholly serious as he stared you in the eye. You cocked a brow, expecting him to be apologetic, but you couldn’t help but admire his newfound confidence.
Fixing your clothes, you nodded and curved your lips into a smile.
“I think I will,” you hummed, taking his hand in yours. “Your place or mine?”
#florence writes!!#ethan landry smut#ethan landry x reader#ethan landry imagine#scream x reader#ghostface x reader#scream iv x reader#scream iv imagine#scream smut
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Come In With The Rain (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Hey y'all, I'm so sorry for the late posting. I know that I don't have a new chapter of 'Video Killed the Radio Star' out yet, but stay with me here. This is part one (of two) of my 500 followers post! I want to thank everyone for reading and being so sweet throughout the years. I really hope you all like this first part! The second part will probably be posted sometime this upcoming week. AND IT WILL BE 18+. I'm estimating sometime between Thursday and Saturday. Again, this is not proofread because I never learn. Love you all- Em <3
Link to the Ao3: Come In With The Rain
You are on Part One! -> Part Two
Yee olde masterlist
WARNING: Slow burn ahh fanfiction, emotional cheating, an accusation of emotional cheating, couple fighting, sex mentioned, alcohol mentions, drunk reader at one point, light cursing, babygirl Spencer Reid, suggestion BLINK AND YOU MISS IT SUGGESTION that Reid is Bi, reader is referred to as a woman, she/her/hers pronouns at some parts, and mention of feeling like a burden. AND probably something else, idk.
Plot: Spencer Reid becomes friends with you after bumping into you at a grocery store. Instantly enamored with you he develops a crush. A crush, apparently destined to fail, because why wouldn't you have a boyfriend?
Word Count: 10,365 (That's correct... 24 PAGES)
Day One
Almost everyone could agree that Spencer’s job was incredibly arduous. If not arduous, it was strenuous, formidable, occasionally crushing, onerous; the list goes on. Overall, his job –despite all its pitfalls– was something he loved. There was one thing he was starting to hate more than anything, though: he couldn’t seem to keep all his groceries from going bad after a week of back-to-back cases.
Spencer narrows his eyes at his messy handwriting, looking back and forth between the paper in his hands and the cans in front of him. He just couldn’t find the can that he was looking for. Penelope had loaned him her recipe a few weeks back, and despite his disastrous efforts in the kitchen, he was determined to give it a shot. His mother never taught him how to cook –not that he blamed her, of course– so it was truly an area in which he simply lacked a lot of skill. Given his eidetic memory, he didn’t really need a list, but Penelope said this brand was best for her recipe when they talked last week. He didn’t want to risk it, so he wrote it down.
He turned his head side-to-side, looking for a nearby worker, but found none. The only person in this aisle was him. He frowned a little before the sound of a sigh passing behind him made him jump. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see a woman standing behind him, staring at a list in hand. He couldn’t help but wonder when you had gotten there and how long you had been standing behind him before your sigh alerted Spencer to the presence of another life form in this aisle.
Your head tilted slowly, your eyes met his, and Spencer felt his mouth drying. He wasn’t charming around beautiful women like Derek; most of all, he hadn’t expected to run into one at the grocery store. Your eyes stayed on Spencer for a second before they moved towards the cans in front of them. Spencer felt like a warmth had just been pulled away from him in the absence of your gaze.
He shuffles out of your eyeline as you scan the cans with a soft smile. “Thank you,” your voice was light and airy, carrying a softness that Spencer wasn’t used to hearing. Your body is closer to his as you walk toward the cans and carefully reach up on your tiptoes to grab a can of sauce on the highest shelf.
Spencer gets the idea stupidly slow: He should get it for you. He clears his throat and maneuvers his body to avoid touching the beautiful stranger beside him. He slides the sauce can off the shelf and hands it to you.
He’s greeted with a dazzling smile, dimples on your cheeks, and eyes shining bright under the fluorescent lights of the grocery store. “Thank you,” you repeat before you stare at him expectantly.
Spencer can’t help but feel like his IQ is taking slashes as he stares at that smile, “Spencer,”
You gave him a gentle nod as you walked the sauce over to your cart, “Nice to meet you, Spencer. I’m Y/N.” You say as you look over your shoulder at him, hair falling into your face. For the first time in a long time, Spencer can feel the ends of his fingers twitching with anticipation at the idea of offering to brush the hair out of your face for you. He gives you a soft smile instead, his eyes trailing back to the list in his hands in an attempt to stop himself from staring.
Your voice near him almost makes him let out a yelp of surprise as you say, “Are you looking for something? I don’t work here, but I cook a lot.” You say matter-of-factly, suggesting that your cooking hobby somehow made you an expert in the grocery store layout.
Spencer felt like handing you his list and following you around like a puppy dog for the rest of his grocery shopping if it meant you’d keep standing this close to him. “Yeah, uhm, this brand of chili beans.”
“Oh, you haven’t looked low enough.” You barely even glance at his list before bending your knees and crouching down to the lower shelf to grab it. You look up from the ground, holding the can of beans for him to take with a bright smile before you say, “You’re so tall you must have forgotten about the lower shelves.” A laugh escapes your lips as Spencer carefully grabs the can from your hand.
You stand up with a gentle sigh. He can tell that you’re about to say something else when a man’s voice interrupts you. Your eyes grow brighter at the sound, and your head quickly turns toward the sound at the far left end of the aisle. “I got the cheese.” As he approaches, the man shoots the shredded cheese into the cart with a grin.
You mouth a soft ‘yay’ as the man’s arm quickly wraps around your waist. “Josh, this is Spencer. I was just helping him look for a can of beans. Spencer, this is Josh.”
Spencer feels his lips draw into a tight-lipped smile as he waves his free hand, “Nice to meet you,” He says with a slight nod.
“She’s always talking to strangers, I swear. Stop making friends everywhere you go, you little angel.” Josh says as he pinches your side, earning a melodious laugh from you. Spencer feels a little nauseous.
“Hey, gross.” You chuckle lightly as you pull Josh’s hand off your side, “Anyways, it was nice to meet you, Spencer. See you around.” You grab the handle of your cart with a beautiful smile before rolling the cart out of the aisle with Josh in tow.
Spencer watches you until you take a right and disappear from his view, and now he can only look at the can of beans in his hand. He sighs at his luck, smiling a little with amusement at the fact that you have a boyfriend. His short interaction made it clear to him that you were easy to get along with. Beautiful, kind, easygoing, of course, you had a boyfriend.
Spencer silently resigned himself to the fact that he would probably never see you or Josh again as he continued with his unneeded list.
Now, he felt like the fabled gods of fate were laughing down at him as he made the last trip to his car. He was closing the trunk of his car when he heard a familiar voice yell out his name from across the parking lot. “Spencer!” You yelled with bags in hand, panting lightly as you approached him with a light jog. “How funny is this?”
A sarcastically bitter voice was in his head. Only the Ancient Greeks would find this funny. “Do you live in this building?” he asked as his eyes scanned the parking lot for Josh. His shoulders relaxed as he realized that it was just you.
“Yeah, third floor.” You say as you readjust the bags in your hands. Spencer gave you an amused smile as he slid his last two bags on one arm, extending his free arm toward you.
“Need some help?” He offers in a soft voice. You give him a grateful look as you nod, handing him a slightly heavy bag. Typically, you wouldn’t have accepted help from a perfect stranger, but almost everything about Spencer screamed non-threatening, so you let yourself be a little trusting.
“Can’t believe that we’re neighbors. I'm glad I talked to you at the store; I made a neighbor friend!” Your speaking speed almost matches his when he is going on his excited ramblings.
Spencer pushes a door open with his back, holding it open for you with his foot as he laughs. “I guess it's plausible, being that the grocery store is as close as it is.” He’s quick to move to the next door, repeating the motion.
You smile gently as Spencer opens another door for you, this one leading the two of you to the stairwell. “Oh, you’re probably one of those people who doesn’t believe in fate, aren’t you, Spencer?”
“I would have to say that I absolutely fall within the twenty-nine percent of Americans who do not believe in fate. Nothing is predetermined.”
“Maybe you’re predetermined to believe that,” Is your quick remark as you walk in front of him on the stairs.
“Not likely,”
“So, what? You’re a cynic?”
Spencer smiles wide at the question, “How does my not believing in fate make me a cynic?”
You grin, tossing a skeptical look over your shoulder, before speaking again. “Not believing in fate is such a cynical thing to do,”
“And what does that make you?”
“Stupid and optimistically in love.”
Spencer shakes his head, his eyes glancing at the door that leads to the second floor, but he continues to follow you up another flight of stairs without complaint. “I would label myself as a realist.” And a profiler, but he was careful to leave that part out. The cases over the years proved one thing to him: nothing was predetermined. There was an opportunity for change everywhere.
“Okay, Mr. Realist, what about luck?” You asked as the two of you approached the door marked for floor three.
He thought for a moment as you held the door open for him, “Maybe,” was all he could say as the memory of when he was struggling with his aim came to mind: killing an UnSub with a shot to the head when he had been aiming for his leg.
“So you do believe in fate.” You turned your body to walk backward down the hallway with a satisfied, winning smile as you looked at him before slowing to a stop in front of your apartment door.
“Fate and luck are not the same thing. Luck is usually used to describe an outcome; it’s a notion. It’s circumstantial. Fate defies logic, science really.” He said as he handed you your bag carefully. His eyes glanced at the number on your door: thirty-seven. “You live with your boyfriend?” Spencer asks before he can stop himself, silently screaming at himself for being a creep.
The question barely phases you as you reach into your pocket, searching for your keys. “Yeah, moved in six months ago.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” Spencer hated small talk. Actually, he secretly hated the fact that the first person he found attractive, after months of failed dates, was taken. He also hated that you were living a floor above him for six months, and he hadn’t known about it– hadn’t known about you. Above all, he hated that he enjoyed your company already, especially having only known you for more than a few hours at best. “How long have the two of you been together?”
“A year and eleven months,” you answer with a soft smile, your eyes giving way to soft emotion as you open your door. “What floor do you live on again?”
Spencer wants to say that you never asked, but he didn’t want to seem rude. He was sure you couldn’t be rude if you tried, that sweet smile of yours not capable of the act. “Second floor,” he answers as he readjusts his bags timidly.
With a soft gasp, you set down a bag or two, “Oh! I’m sorry.” You apologize softly as you look up at him, your eyes beautiful and tender. Spencer can’t remember if he is mad when he looks into those eyes.
Spencer let out a meek and barely audible “It’s okay,” He decides it truly is.
You bite your bottom lip and smile at him, “Well, thanks for your help, Spencer. I really appreciated it. Come up some time and say hi!” As you beam at him, you move a stray hair out of your face.
Spencer nods slowly, swallowing thickly, and manages a soft smile. His feet move his body back to the stairwell slowly. “Okay, I’ll do that.”
Day Forty-Two
You’re laughing over something Josh said. Spencer doesn’t really get it, but you seem to think it is the funniest joke you’ve ever heard. Punchlines usually went over his head, but he was always happy to nod along with a smile on his face.
Spencer honestly didn’t want to come up and visit you and Josh a month ago. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment. Perhaps he just didn’t have it in himself to stay away from your electric personality—why he visited you and Josh three Saturdays ago was still a mystery to him.
As Josh walks away with a smug smile, you turn to Spencer. He watches as you lean towards him, eyes tracking Josh until he’s out of sight. Your amused smile falls from your face as you whisper a soft, “Did you get that?”
Spencer is taken aback at the question. You laughed at Josh’s joke; how did you not get it? Why did you laugh so hard if you didn’t get it? He wonders until he’s whispering that same question to you, “If you didn’t get it, why did you laugh?”
You smile a little cheekily and only slightly embarrassed, “I didn’t want him to know I didn’t find it funny. Sometimes, he falls short of witty humor.”
Spencer smiles at that, shaking his head as he stares over at the area where Josh disappeared. “Why don’t you just tell him that you didn’t find it funny?”
“Because,” Your voice sounds offended, but the amused look in your eyes tells him differently, “I’m his girlfriend of two years, and I’m nice. Unlike some people.” You give him a side-eyed glare, making Spencer gasp in mock defense.
“I’m nice!” He hisses out in a defensive whisper. He briefly falters at your incredulous look before slowly nodding in defeat, “Okay, I’m a little mean sometimes.”
You smile again and face him, your hands moving as you talk, “Which is funny because you’re perfectly nice when you��re around me.”
Spencer didn’t have an answer to that one either. After being friendly with the couple for a little over a month, he just could not be friends with Josh. His jokes flew over Spencer’s head, he talked over you (and sometimes him), and he never seemed to take your interests seriously.
Last Monday after work, you called Spencer, asking him if he wanted to go to the movies with you to see a tragic Italian film. He was quick to say yes, partially because of the excellent movie selection and because he wanted to be around you more.
When he asked why Josh wasn’t joining them, you simply said that it wasn’t Josh’s thing. That didn’t sit right with him, but he let it go. Then, the day after, you called him again, asking him if he’d be willing to go with you to one of those paint-and-sip places around town that weekend.
His answer was another resounding yes, and he didn’t even drink. Then the question came again during the class, and you responded with the same thing– it wasn’t Josh’s thing.
Josh’s thing was going off to work all day and then coming home to ignore you for a good two hours before dinner. Then he was all yours again. At least, that’s what Spencer saw. He understood that everyone needed their alone time and that he was being a little petty and a little jealous toward Josh.
He wanted to be the bigger person, honestly. It was just so hard when your boyfriend made it so easy for Spencer to hate him. He’d never say that to you, of course. You looked at Josh like he had hung the moon yesterday and then created the stars today. You never missed a chance to talk about Josh around… well, anyone—the precursor to Spencer’s current dilemma.
Deep down inside, he knew that his inappropriate crush on you couldn’t possibly get worse. So he thought, What’s the harm in becoming close friends with you? If anything, it was likely that seeing more of your personality would pull his rose-colored glasses off his face and force him to see you in a normal, less love-sick light. After all, he had gotten over his embarrassing crush on JJ and saw her almost daily at work.
When Josh walks back into the room, he’s on his phone. He barely glances up from the text as he speaks to you, “Hey, babe, would it be okay with you if I head out for the night?”
Your eyebrows furrow with confusion, “But Spencer is here, and we were going to finish the movie, remember?”
“Right, but I already know what happens. I mean, it’s a tragedy, right? Spencer and you always have more fun together doing your nerd stuff. No offense, Spencer. The guys just want me to go out with them.”
A realization dawns on your face as you realize he’s not asking so much as telling you he’s leaving. You nod slowly, letting Josh kiss your forehead before he grabs his keys and leaves. You look over at Spencer, who is trying to be polite by not watching the scene, looking down at the television remote with a deep interest.
You smile slowly, sadly, and turn your body a little on the couch facing the television. The rest of the night is spent in your living room with Spencer, sitting next to each other and watching a movie before ending with your head on his shoulder and the soft tone of someone saying they “Liked the movie.”
Day Ninety-Three
You could feel something starting to slip. It was a familiar feeling; something in the ground was shaking. It shook you, at least. You always noticed it first—a crack in the ship's hull. You were always the first to address it, too.
With Josh, it used to be customary for him to apologize for any indiscretion and try to fix the damage. But false promises are like duct tape in the ship’s hull, slipping and sliding against wet wood, water pouring in until the whole ship goes down.
It wasn’t always like this. Him coming home and ignoring you for hours, only to acknowledge you late into the evening. It was relatively new to your relationship. Well, if you consider nine months new. By now, you could only label it as consistent. Before you lived with your loving boyfriend, he would carve out time in the evenings just to talk with you for hours or take you on dates that sometimes lasted for days on the weekends.
You knew that living together would take some of that away– everyone deserved to have their private time, and you weren’t going to start demanding day-long dates anytime soon. You just missed the effort he used to put in, the time when he would make days for the two of you– hours for just the two of you.
A year ago, Josh would have jumped to see that weird new Hungarian horror movie with subtitles for you if you had asked. He would have attempted to stay awake during it, hold your hand during the parts that scared you, something lovely.
The first crack started when you moved in with him. One evening, you had gotten home from work early and occupied the living room for a few hours, watching some random French movie that had been recommended to you by your best friend. She didn’t like this kind of thing but knew you did, so you were grateful that she had thought of you.
When he came home from work a little later than usual, he saw you on the couch with a plate of pasta, watching the movie intently. You turned your head towards the door and smiled wide at him. “Hey! I made spaghetti, grab a plate and watch this movie with me? I’ll restart it.” Your hands were already reaching for the remote when a heavy, annoyed sigh cut through the air. You looked over at him again and gave him a gentle, empathic smile, “Hey… did you have a hard day? We don’t have to watch anything we could–”
“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want to do anything with you right after I get off work?” Josh hissed out as he threw his keys onto the wooden kitchen table.
You felt your head reel back a little at the question, and you laughed a little, pushing yourself up to sit on your knees on the couch. “I’m sorry?”
“Have you ever thought I might want to come home after work and not talk to you for a few hours? I mean, I thought that after living here for two months, you would have caught on, but clearly you haven’t. I come home, and you’re right there, ready to talk. Prepared to force me to sit down and watch some… foreign language film that has some profound meaning that you’ll blabber about for thirty minutes before bed tonight.”
You blinked a little at his harsh words, which were unlike him. He never seemed annoyed by your passions, hobbies, or ramblings. In fact, he always seemed to encourage them. You tried your best to give him a genuine smile, “Love, you’ve had a long day. Let’s just take a second and get some food in you, and then we can d–”
“You’re not getting it,” he laughed bitterly, a sound that caused a sick knot to grow in your throat. “Sometimes, I’m tired of it being we, we, we, we. I’m always doing things with you: Cooking with you, reading with you, watching movies with you, sleeping with you, going on dates with you. Ever since you moved in, it's like it's always an ‘us’ task or a ‘we’ task.” His voice was rising in volume, and you felt your breathing becoming shaky. “I feel like you're always on top of me. It’s suffocating! Maybe I just want to be alone for a few hours. Maybe I don’t want to watch your stupid, fucking, symbolic foreign films.”
“I... I didn’t know that’s how you felt.” You breathed out as you slowly turned the television off and got up with your plate. You wanted him to apologize, you wanted him to soften those brown eyes and start telling you that he didn’t mean it. You wanted him to tell you that work was brutal that day, and he had accidentally lashed out at you. But he just stared at you, panting a little. “I’ll leave you alone some more. I, uhm, I’ll watch this alone in our room.”
And that was that. You had convinced yourself that you were a problem. You were too clingy, always in his space, always trying to force him to like your hobbies, always trying to share too much of yourself with him, always too much. So you decided that maybe what you wanted to do wasn’t his thing anymore.
Besides, you had plenty of friends that liked the same things as you did… maybe. Molly didn’t like foreign films, but Alex enjoyed them enough. Molly did like to paint, but her schedule always conflicted with yours. Sabrina was also a fan of painting but had moved to Boston last month. The list of her friends with crazy work schedules could go on and on, as could the list of friends who moved. You had thought about reaching out to some of them, but Josh’s words rattled you to your core, and suddenly, you felt like a burden for wanting to spend time with your loved ones.
Then, after six months of living with Josh, you met a man in a grocery store—a tall, hazel-eyed, intelligent man. Spencer Reid was unlike any man you had ever met in your life, a rare friend. He was transparent, often going into long, passionate tangents that always had you learning something new. So when he randomly mentioned a foreign film he wanted to see that weekend in one of your conversations, you felt comfortable asking him to come to the movies with you.
Then again, to the paint-and-sip place where the two of you failed to partake in any wine and managed to paint two terrible renditions of sunflowers. Spencer Reid was becoming a friend that you didn’t think you’d burden. Your other friends were quick to explain that you weren’t too much. Still, maybe it was because he had helped you carry your groceries up to the apartment the first day you met him or the way he was so happy to listen to your stories and thoughts. Something about Spencer Reid made you believe him when he said that you weren’t a burden.
And he was nice to be around. Then, there was the pesky fact of Spencer being attractive. At first, it was more of a passing thought. The way he wore his glasses late at night, how his hair fell to one side, the way his fingers were so gentle with books. He was a good-looking man in a nerdy way. Mix that with sweet, caring, and accomplished; he was a threat.
A threat to anyone but your loving boyfriend of two years. Sabrina was laughing over something you had said over the phone, her giggles rising in volume as she tried to speak between them, “He’s a.” Giggling. “An adonis of th–” Cackling. “The mind!” She managed before asking, “What does that even mean?”
“It means he’s a very smart-minded, attractive person.”
“Oh, so you’re like… crushing on the hot mind guy and fighting with Josh. Got it.”
“I’m not fighting with Josh, and we talked about it last month. We’re okay now.”
“Still ignoring you when he comes home?”
You pause before you let out a slow sigh, “Yeah.”
“What’s his record?”
“Four hours and fifteen minutes. He said he will try to be more attentive throughout the week, but he just keeps…” You trail off. You can imagine Sabrina shaking her head on the other side of the line.
“What about the weekends?”
“Going out with his friends more, he visited his mom’s last weekend. Nary a date night in sight, not since our second anniversary at least, and that was..”
“Yeah..” There was rustling, chips maybe, on her side of the line. “Maybe he’s planning something big. Maybe a trip? I don’t know, maybe you should bring it up again.”
You nod a little, your hands typing away gently on your work computer. “Maybe. The last time I mentioned missing our date nights, he just said, ‘We have dinner dates every night at home.’ That was an incredible feeling.”
“Something about weaponized ignorance is coming to mind.”
“Don’t,”
“Josh has been lacking in good boyfriend points since that stunt with the cake on your birthday,”
“He got a little icing on my nose!”
“Don’t,” She dragged out the ‘t’ sound, “Care! The disrespect! Your dress! Ugh, I’m going to get worked up. Talk to me about Dr. Genius.”
“What about him?”
“Does he ever, maybe, do something you wish Josh would start doing?”
You laugh, “What? No…”
“So you don’t wish that Josh would know the symbolism behind The Red Shoes and go into how… what did he say?”
“That art was worth dying for, and that Hans Christian Andersen's original story surrounded a sense of morality and religious–”
“Ah, Ah, Ah, so you don’t want Josh to know that?”
“He doesn’t need to know that,” your fingers falter in their typing, “Two people can have similar interests and not be in love.”
“Right, it just seems like lately, you’ve been…” You hate the awkward silence that follows Sabrina before she carefully speaks again, “Maybe replacing Josh with Spencer in your hobbies. I know Josh lashed out and was wrong, too, but this Spencer guy… he clicks with you– your hobbies, at least. And your witty humor, too. It seems he matches your intellectualism and your passion for learning, exceeds it even, but Josh is steps below you. Josh, he… just always seems so tolerant of your hobbies.”
“So what are you saying?”
“Nothing,” a voice calls her name, “Look, I gotta go. Josh is great, and I’m just being silly. Maybe I just have a grudge against him or something. I love you.”
“I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” You reply quickly before she ends the call.
You shake your head a little at her words, still swimming in your mind as you go back to charting something on your computer. What did that even mean? Josh is steps below you. He wasn’t dumb. He just lacked… that dry humor you had with Spencer sometimes. A quick, witty remark that had one of you smiling in seconds. Besides, that notion was ridiculous, given you had only known Spencer for three months. Josh made up for it in love… and you did love him.
All couples went through rough patches, but you were sure that if you raised your concerns again with Josh, things would change. You nod a little at the thought as you sigh, shifting in your chair slightly as you readied yourself to be engulfed in your work.
Day One Hundred and Forty-Six
Spencer could feel the bass of some pop song thumping in his chest. It had been a pleasant and slow week at the BAU. While he would have loved to go home and sit down with some book of his choosing, he allowed Penelope and Derek to convince him to go out with them.
The bar wasn’t too far from his apartment complex, so he didn’t mind. Penelope was twirling her drink's tiny umbrella between her fingers as she pointed towards a pretty red-head dancing in a dark green dress. “What about her?”
They have been playing this game for ten minutes now. By they, he means Garcia and Morgan. The game is ‘Who does Spencer find pretty at the bar?’
“Babygirl, you have a great eye,” Derek says as he points the woman out to Spencer, but before he can say anything else, Spencer decides they’ve played this game past the point of amusement.
“Why can’t we accept that I don’t feel like talking to anyone tonight, again?”
Penelope frowned a little, giving Spencer a pleading look. “You said that the last time we took you to the bar, you were willing to participate next time. It’s next time, Reid.”
Spencer remembers the conversation and groans softly as he sips on his water. He hated disappointing them with his lack of effortless charm. It had improved through the years, but he still struggled to find the right words to say in front of someone he found attractive.
“Come on, Pretty Boy. Are you going to back out of your promise?” Derek’s voice is teasing as he smiles at Spencer. Spencer can’t help but feel a sense of newfound obligation. He knew what was holding him back and hated himself for it.
His inappropriate crush on you had grown to be near debilitating, and even though Spencer had told himself that it’d never happen, he kept holding out hope that one day it would. He had gone on dates in the near five months he had known you, but he always ended up comparing his dates to you. They never laughed as sweet as you. They came up with the same academically related jokes you did. They never– they just weren’t you, simple as that.
“Fine, but someone else. She’s pretty, but I think that girl is her girlfriend.” He pleaded softly, watching as a taller brunette woman spun around the pretty redhead to the beat.
Penelope clapped and set down her drink, “This next one has to be perfect.”
“Pretty boy’s future bride,”
Spencer felt his cheeks flush at that, and he nudged Derek with a nervous laugh. Penelope was still scanning the crowd. The bar wasn’t empty or devoid of beautiful women or men for her to choose from, but no one screamed Spencer Reid material. Derek was scanning the crowd with her, always happy to see her passionate about something, even if it was Reid’s love life.
A gasp slipped past Penelope’s lips as she grabbed Derek’s arm tight, her index pointing toward someone by the speakers. Derek’s eyes landed on who she was pointing at, and he smiled wide, nodding quickly, “Future Mrs. Reid material,”
Spencer can barely see where they are pointing as he tries to look toward the area that Garcia is pointing at. Then he sees her. It’s you, and his heart drops. He wants to tell his friends he knows that isn’t ‘Future Mrs. Reid’ at all, but Derek and Penelope are already pushing him into the crowd. He glares back at them and stubbles with his footing for a second before walking toward you.
You’re wearing a beautiful black dress, hugging your curves. In the flashing lights, Spencer thinks that you’re shining. Your hips sway lightly to the beat as you stand near the speakers, alone.
Spencer gently taps you on your shoulder, and when you turn around, you have a glare on your face before you see it's him. He almost laughs at how you gasp and loudly scream, “Spencer!” Your hands fly out to his shoulders, shaking him gently as you giggle. “Hi!” You’re so drunk.
Spencer is sure that Penelope and Derek are watching the scene unfold with confused expressions as he laughs softly, your hands on his shoulders gently shaking his body side-to-side. “Hey, where’s Josh?” He yells over the music.
“Getting drinks!” You yell back in an excited tone.
He smiles wide and shakes his head a little; he usually doesn’t find drunk people endearing. But right now, in the flashing lights of the bar, your rosy-cheek face and tipsy giddiness have him feeling a little more enamored than usual.
“Who are you here with?” You ask loudly, your hands falling away from his shoulders.
“Uh, my friends, coworkers!” he replies as he stands beside you to point out the confused-looking pair staring at them.
“Can I say hi?” He could tell that your friendly disposition continued even when intoxicated, and he found himself adoring the consistency. He nods gently, and you’re smiling so much. Spencer wonders how someone could be so excited about meeting someone else’s friends.
He leads you over, your fingers grabbing the back of his button-up as he carefully leads you through the crowd. The gentle pull of your fingers gripping his shirt makes his cheeks burn as he stops in front of Derek and Penelope. “Y/N, Derek, and Penelope. Penelope and Derek, Y/N.”
You let go of the back of his button-up quickly as you extend a giddy hand, “Hi, I haven’t met any friends of Spencer's yet.”
Derek looks amused as he shakes your hand, his eyes flicking between you and Spencer, “How do you know the boy genius?”
“I found him looking lost in the grocery store. We’re neighbors! Well, almost,” You let go of Derek’s hand to point towards the roof, “I’m on top of him.”
Spencer can feel the breath knocked out of his lungs as he quickly corrects you, “She lives on the floor above me.” He explains before either of them can make a joke.
Penelope matches your happy attitude as she shakes your hand, “We had no idea that Spencer had a friend in his apartment complex! How long have the two of you been friends?”
“Almost five months,” You say with a little giggle, leaning toward Penelope slightly. “Spencer comes over to discuss movies with me or books, or we went to a poetry reading last weekend.”
“He comes over often, huh?” Derek’s voice asks playfully, and you nod quickly.
“The mothership is always beckoning,” You joke, laughing harder than you should at your own joke.
Penelope slowly drops your hand, tilting her head, and her flower earrings sway slightly. “And... your roommate is okay with that?” she asks carefully, and Spencer wants to ask why she doesn’t simply ask if you have a boyfriend.
“Oh, no. Josh doesn’t care. He’s my boyfriend of two years. Nothing can break that security, I’m sure.” You look towards the bar for him and catch his eye. You wave high and wide for him, and he smiles, shaking his head at you as he waits for the drinks.
“So, Pretty Boy here is just a friend.”
You giggle a little at the nickname and try to cover your smile with your hand, looking at Spencer. “Pretty Boy?” You giggle out. Spencer frowns a little and goes to defend himself, but you’re already nodding, “He is a pretty boy. That’s fitting.” Then, he feels like his body is on fire.
Derek is about to say something when Josh slides behind you with two drinks. “Always with Spencer,” he teases softly, kissing your cheek before handing you your drink.
“Josh, these are Spencer’s friends, Penelope and Derek.” You say, taking the drink and happily taking a small sip.
Josh holds out his hand for them to shake, a charming smile on his face, “I thought Spencer’s only friend was my girlfriend.”
Penelope doesn’t laugh, but she still manages a polite smile and shakes his hand before Derek does the same thing. Spencer fidgets a little, still beside you. You turn your head up toward him, and you mouth a soft, ‘He’s drunk’ as a way to excuse Josh’s behavior.
However, recently, Josh has been acting like that sober. He would demand to join the two of you at the movies while complaining about the movie selection. He’d sit between the two of you if the opportunity arose, which wasn’t strange. What was weird was how he’d become more physically affectionate with you in front of Spencer. Spencer hated that– hated looking at it.
Josh quickly grabs your shoulders and says, “We should let you all get back to your night.” It sounds like a suggestion, but he’s already leading you away. You gasp as he guides you away from the three of them, and you quickly smile, wave, and yell out a quick, ‘It was nice to meet you’ before you walk further away with Josh.
Penelope sips on her drink as a way to stop herself from talking, but Derek breaks the silence first. “So he’s jealous of you.”
Spencer wants to deny it, but even he can’t deny the facts. “Not at first, but now… I don’t know if I’m not nice enough or if I did something, but yeah, lately, he’s been like that.”
Penelope sighed and looked toward where you and Josh had walked off to, “She seems sweet,”
“Yeah, Reid’s head over heels for her too.”
“Wait, Spencer, are you?”
His cheeks are flushed, and he’s shaking his head a little, a lame attempt to try and hide his feelings. Derek lays it on thick, “Come on, he doesn’t let just anyone touch him. Did you see how he looked at her when he approached her earlier? Like a lovesick dog with a bone in his mouth.”
Spencer raises his hands and scoffs, “Okay, I’m working on it, alright. She’s just easy to be around. I’m getting over it.”
Penelope is swooning over the information, “A forbidden romance,”
“Her gatekeeper boyfriend and you, the pretty boy genius from downstairs,” Derek adds.
Spencer sighs, annoyed with their teasing, “Alright, let’s drop it.” The pair gives him a look, and he adds a soft, “Please.” Seeing their friend’s annoyance didn’t usually deter them, but the way he shifted from one foot to the other as he begged them to stop had Penelope and Derek sharing a look before letting all their silent jokes go. Spencer was grateful that evening had returned to normal, his nervous thoughts slowly slipping away with easy conversation.
Day One Hundred and Eighty-Three
You’re sure Josh is mad at you for something. You just can't get it out of him. A few weeks ago, he had been nothing but sincere. Soft again, sweet again, him from a little over a year ago. It was beautiful, and it felt like he had finally listened. It felt like he had come back around and somehow repaired the hull.
Then he started ignoring you again. You had been careful, so careful, not to suffocate him like he mentioned. You make sure that you go out with Spencer on weekends. You distance yourself just enough for Josh to miss spending time with you. Spending time with Spencer was also good for you; he helps keep your spirits high.
He kept you feeling lighter than air. He would text you sometimes on cases with the team when he was out of town. Little reminders, little jokes, and sometimes… It felt nice. You didn’t know how to describe it. Thrilling, calming, extraordinary, and tumultuous all that once. It confused you, pulled at the heartstrings, softly tugging at something deep within you. It unsettled you and made you ache when you looked at Josh in bed next to you.
But his sweetness distracted you. Erased longing and replaced it with familiar love. You knew his steps, and he knew yours.
And now, he was angry with you. You didn’t want to ask, and you didn’t want to be a pest to the man you loved. You hoped he would just come right out and say it. You hoped that his cup of secret rage would overflow and spill over.
The sound of heavy footsteps disrupts your stagnant reading. Your eyes kept reading the same sentence. Every time you tried to continue with the following sentence, you found yourself unable to do so. You set the book face down on the bed and smiled a little at Josh as he stood in the doorway. It was Friday night, and Spencer was on a case. Molly was busy, Christina was busy, and everyone was busy. So you stayed home, attempting to read.
He was drunk, no drunk didn’t even cover it. He looked like death, pale with red eyes and muttering incoherent things to himself. “Josh… are you okay?” Your smile quickly faded, and you moved to the edge of the bed, watching him sway against the door frame.
He didn’t answer and just laughed a little, which turned into a groan and then a sigh. You push yourself off the bed and walk to him, reaching up a hand to cup his cheek, but before your fingers can touch him, he smacks your hands away with a deep frown. “Josh!” You gasp as you pull your hand away, rubbing at the slightly pink skin.
“Not right,” he mutters, and you shake your head as you try to understand what he’s talking about.
“What’s not right? Josh, are you okay?”
He stumbles as he pushes past you, his shoulder roughly bumping into yours as he sits on the bed. You stay by the door. “This. Us, not right anymore.” He roughly puts it together.
You can feel your heart fall to the pit of your stomach as you turn around to face him, “What are you talking about?”
“Not right anymore,” his drunk hands are dramatically waving between the two of you, “You’re not,” he motions to his chest lamely, “Here anymore.”
You can feel the tears threatening to rise in your eyes, your breathing becoming fast as you shake your head. “I’m here, you’re here.” You point your index into your chest, just above your heart. “What are you saying?”
“Not here,” He repeats loudly.
“I am here!” you yell back as you walk to him. “I don’t know what happened tonight, but we can discuss it, Josh. We can fix things.” You can feel the weight of the world crashing down on your chest, its weight making it difficult to breathe clearly.
“No,”
You’re quick to talk over him, “Yes, we can,”
“No, we can’t,”
“Whatever it is, it’s okay, we can–”
“No–”
“It’s okay, I won’t be mad–”
“I’m in love with someone else,” He yells, his spit hitting your cheek. Your hands twitch slightly at the feeling, but you can’t move. All you can do is stare at him with a gaping mouth, opening and closing repeatedly like a fish. You couldn’t form the words, and your mind was blank. “Don’t give me that.”
You feel like someone else’s voice is speaking, “Give you what? Shock? Disgust? You’re in love with someone else. How else am I supposed to react? Do you want me to be happy? Oh, Josh, I’m so happy for you and your mistress! I’m so glad that you’re fucking her and me at the same time! I’m so happy, so happy!”
“I’m not fucking Estelle, she and I,”
“Your coworker, are fucking you kidding me?”
“Oh, shut up with the pity party!” He looks sober suddenly, his face red and twisted with rage as he stands up from the bed. Your footing slips a little before you catch yourself walking back from him. “You think these past six months I’ve enjoyed having him over here all the time? Giggling with you in the living room over some intellectual private joke that I don’t get, o-or how about when you disappear with him every weekend you can? Introducing you to his friends in bars, going to movies with you, you didn’t try hiding it from me!”
“Him? Who are you talking about?” Then it dawned on you, and Josh could tell from how your back straightened and how you looked at him with unsure eyes. “Spencer? You think I’m cheating on you with Spencer?”
“Not physically, but yes.”
“Josh, what are you even saying right now? I made a friend who likes the same things I do. I mean… a year ago, you told me that I was suffocating. You told me that you didn’t enjoy my hobbies. Did you just expect me to stop them? How did I cheat on you? Spencer and I we’ve never–”
“It doesn’t matter if you’ve never fucked, or-or kissed him! Emotionally, you gave up on us. You’re only emotionally available for him. He gets you, all your jokes, your kindness, everything. He has it all. You’re always running into his arms!”
“Running into his arms? Josh, you push me to him. I don’t love Spencer; we are just friends. He’s there for me because he is my friend! What are you going to say now? Th-that I forced you to Estelle, who, by the way, I saw last month at that Holiday party for the office. Are you going to tell me that me being by your side all while having a friend with the same interest as me was too much for you?” You can barely breathe.
“You know it's more than that, don’t play victim. I can see the way you look at him. You used to look at me like that, and then six months ago, you met him. You didn’t even try.”
“I didn’t try.” You repeat back before you’re scoffing a little, pacing the room quickly. “You shut me out. You stopped talking to me for months. If anyone has the right to play the victim here, it’s me. I don’t see you for hours. We had the day off for our second anniversary, and you didn’t talk to me until noon. When I moved in with you, did you even want me to be a person? Or did you want a perfectly still doll, interesting only when you want her to be interesting, talkative only when you want to listen, ready for the taking when it was good for you? Go ahead, treat me like a fucking doll.”
Josh is shaking his head now, his breathing ragged as he slowly runs his hands through his hair. “I don’t,” He pauses, his eyes looking at a photo of the two of you from two years ago framed on the bedside table. “It doesn’t matter anymore? I don’t love you anymore. You can make me the villain. I don’t care. I want you out.”
You swallow hard at his words and laugh a little, “Where am I supposed to go?”
“I,” He looks at you, and you see how tired he looks. The part of you that still loves him feels crushed; the other just feels angry. “My name is on the lease. Find somewhere else to sleep tonight. I’ll let you pack a bag, but I want you,” he motions towards the apartment, and you assume he means your presence in the apartment and your things. “Gone.” And he doesn’t let you say anything back, walking out into the living room.
You stand still; you feel frozen. You don’t know if you want to start crying, start packing, or just call people to see if you can crash at theirs. That feeling, the feeling that he planted in you rises inside you. You’ll be a burden, suffocating, and miserable. But you need a place to sleep for the night.
Your shaky hands reach for your phone on the bed, randomly calling people. Alex is out of town, you know. Christina just moved and doesn’t even have a couch yet. You call Molly, but she doesn’t answer. You wish you lived in Boston so you could call Sabrina, but that’s unrealistic. You keep scrolling through the contacts and try to think.
As you reach the next contact, your fingers falter, and your mouth feels dry. You hesitate multiple times before hitting the call button. You wait with bated breath as you bring your phone to your ear.
Ring.
You should hang up. This is a bad idea.
Ring.
Doesn’t this just prove Josh’s point?
Ring.
You don’t even know if he’s back in town or when he’ll be back. You should hang up before he answers; call someone else.
The third ring is cut short as Spencer picks up the phone. Your hands shake as he says a gentle, tired, “Hello?”
“He-hey.. Uh, are you still in Illinois?”
“No, we’re an hour out. Are you okay? You sound like you’re upset.”
You lick your lips quickly as you debate, telling him everything: the fight, how Josh is kicking you out. Instead, you settle for, “I just need a place to crash for the night, and I know it's a big ask, and you’re getting home from a case, but–”
“Yes, yeah, you can stay at mine.” You let out a slow breath and nod a little, a sense of temporary relief settling over you.
“Thank you, thank you so much. I… I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be at yours in an hour?”
“See you soon,” Spencer says before you hang up the phone. You get to work as fast as you can, grabbing luggage from the closet and packing like a mad woman. Anything you can fit into the case, you carefully fold or roll up and stuff inside.
An hour comes around, and you’re packed enough for a week at the very least. You grab the only thing on the bed that’s yours, a dark green blanket, before slowly rolling the suitcase into the living room. Suddenly, it feels like you’re not in your body anymore, watching the scene from the ceiling.
Josh turns, a phone against his ear, and you only catch the ends of an ‘I love you’ before he hangs up. He draws his lips in a tight line before asking, “Where you headed?”
You feel like he knows the answer, “Spencer’s.”
His lips turn upwards, and he laughs; he laughs so hard that he’s gripping his side. “Ye-Yeah, that's right. Prove me right. Run straight to Doctor Reid. Fucking rich.” He snips at you as you finally feel the tears start to well up in your eyes. “You know what let him have my sloppy seconds.”
You gasp softly, the comment like a punch in the gut. “Have fun fucking her in our bed. Make sure to put the pictures face down before you give her the most underwhelming four minutes of her life. I’ll be back tomorrow to start packing.” You say as you start stepping through the front door, slamming it behind you. You’re panting lightly in the empty hallway, your mind numb as tears stream down your face. You don’t remember lugging your stuff to the second floor or getting to Spencer’s door.
The only thing you remember is the sound of your name and gentle hands grabbing your chin and tilting your head up with care. You remember sobbing, hyperventilating out the events of the past evening to him as he helps you inside. And the eventual call of sleep that reaches you on Spencer’s couch.
Day One Hundred and Ninety
Spencer could hear the soft sounds of your computer playing something in the living room. Last Friday… Well, technically, early Saturday morning, you had your head on your knees outside his apartment door. The sound of sobs had him dropping his dirty go-bag and grabbing your chin to soothe you.
He listened to everything: how Josh thought that you were emotionally cheating on him with Spencer, how Josh had fallen in love with a coworker, and how he kicked you out. You said you would have stayed, but the lease was in his name. It was a stupid decision of the past catching up with you– your words, not Spencer’s.
You had told him that it would only be for one night, but Spencer wasn’t going to make you couch surf all week. He insisted that you stay with him until you found an apartment. He let you stuff your boxes of things in his study and was happy to do it.
The worst part about this arrangement was seeing you like this, seeing you so heartbroken. You went to work a little later than him, came home later than him, ate, slept, and repeated the cycle. He kept catching you with a dissociative look on your face. Too scared to ask you if you were okay, he would awkwardly attempt to cheer you up with your shared hobbies. But that only worked for so long until you were ending the night with that numb look on your face again.
He lays in bed, wondering if he should go into the living room to check on you. He barely thinks it through before he throws his covers off and slips out of bed. He has plaid pajama pants on with an old CalTech shirt, and when he walks into the living room, he can see you pause what you’re watching on your computer and smile at him.
“Hey,” you whisper, even though it's just the two of you in the apartment.
“Hey,” Spencer whispers back before sighing and walking toward the back of the couch. “Can’t sleep?”
You look up at him before returning to the dimly lit computer screen, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” His quick reply has you nodding a little. You shift a little, pushing yourself up to make room on the couch for him. He takes the unspoken invitation and sits down next to you.”What are we watching?”
You lick your lips nervously, “Romcom. When Harry Met Sally.”
Spencer glances at you before he admits, “Never seen it.”
You gasp softly, and that playful light returns in your eyes for a second. He hasn’t seen that light in a week. “Spencer Reid, you haven’t lived.”
Spencer takes the opportunity to joke around with you, making a buzzer sound with his mouth. “Wrong. I’ve been alive for many years.”
This gets a weak smile from you, but still a smile nonetheless. “You want to watch it with me? I know it's late, but… maybe it’ll lure you to sleep if you find it boring.”
Spencer grins, glancing at the clock to see how late it is. He shakes his head a little, “Maybe we could just talk for a second? I’ve barely seen you this week.” He suggests. You’re quick to nod, shutting your laptop. You lean back on the sofa and bring your legs up to sit crisscrossed. He watches you. Your eyes are no longer red or puffy, but the skin on your cheeks still seems pale, lacking their natural rosiness.
“I found a great apartment, but I can’t move in until the end of this month.” You break the silence first, hands folding awkwardly in your lap.
Spencer nods, resisting the urge to hold one of your hands as he speaks. “That’s fine, and I’m not kicking you out anytime soon. You’re stuck with me for three more weeks.”
You chuckle a little at that, “Ever the gentleman,” You say softly, but your eyes don’t have that light anymore. You seem distracted, your eyes lingering on him briefly before staring at your hands. “Spencer,”
“Yeah?”
“What do you do when everything feels like too much?”
Your voice cracks softly as you ask the question, and Spencer is scared you’ll start crying again. He always feels useless whenever you cry, a genius without answers. He swallows the nervous lump in his throat: “I read, or sometimes I force myself to go out. Whenever I’m overwhelmed, I end up at the public library. Or sometimes, if I have the day, I go to the Smithsonian. But... it’s been a while.”
You seem to perk up a little at the mention of the Smithsonian, and you give him a playfully little side glance, “Air and Space?” You guess with a small smile.
He smiles and shrugs, “Sometimes,” he returns the playful sideways glance. “Portrait Gallery?”
You’re laughing a little as you nod. Spencer feels relieved to hear its soft melody. “Portrait Gallery.” You confirm your pick with a soft sigh.
Spencer lets warm silence spread for a second, his eyes occasionally flickering over to your serene expression. “What about you? What do you do when you’re overwhelmed?”
Your eyes meet his as he asks the question, and for a second, you seem a little surprised that he is asking you anything. He wonders if you expected him to keep talking or ignore the tension in the air around you.
“Well, reading is lovely. Museums, movies,” you pause for a second, and your expression softens. “Music. I love music when I’m feeling overwhelmed, sad, or happy. It’s a universal fix, music.”
“What kind of music?” He has heard you talk about music before, how you didn’t understand people who hated it. Music helped him escape to childhood memories, the good ones at least. He wondered if it had the same effect on you.
“Everything. Pop, country, indie, anything that moves me. I like classical too, but only sometimes.”
“Why only sometimes?”
“I like it in ballets, plays, movies. I like the visual representation that accompanies it.” Your eyes leave his slowly, “Like a music box with a ballerina inside.”
Spencer finds that this version of you, the melancholy version, is blunt. You don’t people-please or avoid questions; instead, you would directly state something. He liked how you directly stated your musical likes and how honest they were. He finds himself wanting every version of yourself that you have shown him lately, and he feels a little guilty for it.
A soft gasp from your lips stops him from overthinking, “Oh shoot,” You mutter as you pull out your phone, looking at the calendar before you curse softly.
“What’s wrong?’
“I, uhm,” You swallow hard and set your phone down, “I just remembered that Josh and I were going to celebrate our third anniversary a little early this year. Our second wasn’t the best, and he promised we would do something I wanted to do. We had tickets to see Swan Lake.” You chew on your bottom lip slowly, getting lost in the thought before you say, “That’s next month. I gotta cancel.”
Spencer can see how you slump at the thought and how sad it makes you to cancel the plans. He feels himself saying the words before he can even process them: “I can go with you.”
You turn to him with a soft laugh of disbelief, “What?”
“We could go together. Make the most of it. I mean, I like Swan Lake.”
“Spencer, it would be wrong to spend what would be my third anniversary with you. I mean–”
“It wouldn’t be the exact day. You said it was a couple of months early, so it would just be us…going to see Swan Lake. Just friends, seeing a ballet, and getting dinner or something. A night on the town. Something to keep your mind off things,”
He hopes you’ll agree to the offer, his heart beating loudly in his chest as you stare into his eyes. Your eyes dart back and forth, rapidly looking into his eyes and then at his face. The silence is killing him, a knife in his back as he tries his best to breathe normally.
Then you’re giving him a slow smile, a little shy at first, before you beam at the suggestion, “Okay,”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, let’s go to the ballet together. I mean, I would do it with or without Josh anyway. Now I’ll be able to go with someone who will actually enjoy it, even better.” Your eyes meet his hazel ones again, and you place a tentative hand over his. “Thank you, Spence.” Your voice is sincere, and Spencer feels his body relax when you touch him.
“I can’t think of a better way to spend my evening two months from now.” He whispers in the air between you before he slips his hand away from yours and stands. He yawns softly, “Now… let’s get some sleep.”
You nod, a small smile still on your face as you lay on the couch. “Night.” You whisper as you close your eyes.
Spencer stands and stares down at you a little longer than he should before he takes a step toward his bedroom. “Goodnight,” he says as he walks into his bedroom. He’s thinking about your genuine smile for another hour before he even closes his eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED...
#x reader#fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#spencer x you#spencer reid fluff#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#smut#slow burn#500 followers#it-was-summer#come in with the rain#dr reid#long fanfic#part one
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i’m so excited for your request event eek!! :DDD if you ever get the time, maybe micheal kaiser, but like post marriage? :O
── AIRPORT VISIT
Synopsis: You pick up your husband from the airport, finally reuniting with him after his long trip abroad.
Event Masterlist
Pairing: Kaiser x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 1.5k
Content Warnings: married couple, lots of banter, talks about insurance??, kaiser hates blue lock but he has to secure the bag i fear 😔, probably ooc because this is an established relationship so he’s kind of sweet…consider it off screen development LMAO
A/N: hello my dear i’m so sorry this took me a sec to respond to!! kaiser is such a funky guy hehe i tried my best writing him in this type of scenario…i hope you like it 💖
Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own. now closed!
The airport was colder than you had expected, and you wrapped the sweater you had stolen from Michael’s closet tighter around your shoulders, hiding the lower half of your face in it as you stared at the customs area. Your eyelids were heavy and threatened to droop shut entirely, but you had promised that you would come pick him up, and you didn’t want his first sight of you after almost a month to be you dozing off on your feet.
Shuffling over to a bench and suppressing a yawn when you realized it might still be a bit of time before he came out, you tucked your legs up next to you and leaned your head against the cool white wall beside you. Given the late hour, the airport was all but deserted, or at least as close to deserted as a place so constantly active could be. The steady drone of the air conditioning — which you wished they would turn down! — was mind-numbing, and despite yourself, you thought that it wouldn’t be so bad if you just closed your eyes for a moment. You wouldn’t sleep, you would only rest them so that you appeared cheery and bright when Michael finally arrived…
The next thing you knew, there was a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently awake. You shot to your feet, panic shooting through you at the thought that you were being attacked or something, but when you realized your ‘assailant’ was none other than your dear husband, who you had spent hours waiting for, you relaxed.
“You should’ve just stayed home,” he said, clicking his tongue at you, reaching out to ruffle your hair. His bags sat by his feet, and yawning, you picked one up. “Hey, is that my sweater?”
“Mhm,” you said as you traipsed towards where you had parked your car. “I like this one. I can’t believe I haven’t taken it before.”
He made a face at you. “Stop stealing my clothes.”
“There’s nothing stopping you from taking my things, if you’re bristling at the unfairness,” you said, unlocking the car and opening the trunk, helping him heft his things into the back to hasten the process.
“No thanks. Your clothes are ugly; that’s why you always have to take mine, right?” he said, pressing the button so that the trunk would shut. You yawned again, blinking your eyes open and shut a few times to clear your vision, shaking your head as you did so.
“You’re the one who buys half of them, so what does that say about your taste?” you said. “Yours are just more comfortable.”
“I can start buying you men’s clothes instead, since you insist on wearing them all of the time,” he said, snatching the keys from out of your pocket and sliding into the driver’s side before you could protest.
“Well, but it’s not the same,” you said. “Also, what are you doing? The whole point of me coming to pick you up was so that you didn’t have to drive and all. Aren’t you tired?”
“I just slept for an entire plane ride,” he said. “I’m as energetic as Ness when he gets his hands on espresso. You, on the other hand, will probably crash this car if you’re allowed to drive it, and then we’d have to deal with insurance, so I’d really prefer it if you just get in the passenger seat and leave this to me, because our agent is a bitch.”
“She’s not that bad,” you said.
“Every day that I don’t have to call her is a good day,” he said. “Now, are you coming, or should I just leave you here?”
You scoffed even as you ducked into the passenger seat and put on your seatbelt. “You should’ve left me behind. I could’ve caught a ride with Ness. I’m sure he’d be less mean about it.”
“Ha, ha,” Michael said. “That was so funny. Did you recently update my will to make yourself my sole benefactor? Because if so, you’re in luck. I just died. Died of laughter. I’m dead now, which means you’re a rich woman, Mrs. Kaiser.”
“Shut up, you overdramatic oaf,” you said.
“You’re so rude to the man who just made you wealthy,” he said, taking your hand and holding it to his lips as he pulled out of the airport parking lot. “I’m worth more than Ness. Don’t even joke about going with him again. He won’t give you anything when he dies. You’ll be left broke and unhappy.”
“Right, because your net worth is why I agreed to marry you,” you said. “No other reason.”
“That combined with my good looks and my amazing talent, I’m sure,” he said.
“Your humility was only a bonus,” you said. He dropped your hand and shot you a mock glare.
“Just remember who’s in control of this car! What if I crash it? Then you’ll regret everything!” he said.
“You’ll regret it more,” you said. “I’ll make you call the insurance agent.”
“What if I’m on my deathbed?” he said. “What if I’m bleeding out at the scene of the crash? What would you do then, huh?”
“I’d use your phone to call an ambulance, and I’d use mine to call the agent so that you could talk to her while we waited for help to come,” you said.
“Wow,” he muttered. “Cold. We haven’t seen each other in a month and this is how you’re treating me.”
“I did miss you,” you said, resting your temple against the cool glass of the window. “I wish you didn’t have to go all of the way to Japan every year to help out with that program.”
He sighed. “Believe me, if they paid even a dollar less, I wouldn’t. I hate those stupid Blue Lock bastards, and every time I have to interact with them, I lose ten years off of my lifespan. ”
“Oh, no,” you said. “Remind me when you’re about to run out completely. I’ll update your will, just in case.”
“Hilarious,” he deadpanned.
“Really, though, is there anyone you don’t complain about talking to?” you said. “At this rate, you’re not going to have very many years left at all. Will you leave me a widow so soon?”
He gave you a charming grin. “I like talking to you. That’s why I married you.
“Did those Blue Lock boys teach you about this kind of thing alongside soccer?” you said. “I don’t remember you being quite so smooth when you left. Was it Yoichi Isagi? You mentioned him a lot in your texts.”
“Y/N,” Michael said gravely. “I would strip naked, swim in a vat of acid, and then sleep with Don Lorenzo on a bed of nails before I would ever take advice from Isagi.”
“Poor Lorenzo,” you said, laughing at the mental image of what he was describing. “Why’d you throw him under the bus like that?”
“We took the same plane back from Japan,” he explained. “He had a layover here, so you could say he’s just a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Jeez,” you said. “Alright, I get it. You just thought about me so frequently and fondly that you came up with these lines all on your own.”
“Exactly,” he said smugly. “I don’t need stupid Isagi to tell me how to impress you. Only I know how to do that, anyways, so why would I ask someone else for help?”
“Sorry for the suggestion,” you said as he pulled into the garage of our home. “And thank you for driving. If only your flight had been a little bit earlier! I really would have driven you back.”
“Next time,” he said, patting your head as he helped you out of the car. “Or I can call a taxi and you can just stay home from now on, so that neither of us are inconvenienced.”
“I wanted to do something nice for you,” you said with a pout, helping him bring his things inside. He smiled slightly, kissing your forehead with the utmost of delicacy.
“Just you being here is nice enough for me,” he said. “Don’t put yourself through so much trouble, okay? The knowledge that you’re waiting at home for me makes me happier than anything else ever could.”
“Okay,” you said reluctantly. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said. “Let’s get you to bed now, alright?”
“You, too,” you said.
“I will, but on one condition,” he said.
“What?” you said.
“You take my sweater off,” he said. “It’s mine, seriously!”
“Looks like you’re sleeping on the sofa tonight, then,” you said.
“Y/N,” he whined, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing tightly, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You have me now. Aren’t I much warmer and better than a sweater?”
“Hm,” you said. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“You guess so?” he said. “Fine. I guess I’ll just see myself back to Japan, then.”
“Don’t do that,” you said. “It’s too cold without you here, and lonely, too. I’ll even take the sweater off if you’ll stay.”
“You’re so unfair,” he said. “How am I supposed to say no to you? You can keep the stupid sweater.”
“And you?” you said. He pinched your cheek affectionately.
“I suppose you can keep me, too.”
#kaiser x reader#kaiser x y/n#kaiser x you#michael kaiser#bllk x reader#bllk#blue lock#reader insert#married couple#m1ckeyb3rry milestone#m1ckeyb3rry writes
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You know I've seen quite a few people say they're wanting to make v3 rewrites lately--and as someone who is actively working on one by myself, I feel like I should give some advice. I know I'm nowhere NEAR done with Twins AU, but I've made a ridiculous amount of progress and I think these things have greatly helped me out personally
So here are my tips for making a V3 rewrite and actually making it stick/not to burn out before the first chapter!
This is important. Don't try to please everyone. You will never please everyone. Write this for yourself, and you will find an audience. People can and will hate your fic no matter what you do. Don't try to please them, they are not your target audience-- so Write this story for, first and foremost, yourself. It'll feel so much more rewarding if you do I promise.
V3's main theme is extremely muddied due to how the narrative was and how open ended the game was left, and from my own research, no one can agree on what V3 was trying to say about truth and lies, or Reality and Fiction. If you want to rewrite this story, you're going to need to narrow down what you want your rewrite to say about the themes presented.
PLAN THE EVIDENCE AND MURDERS AS THOROUGHLY AS YOU CAN. I think not knowing what I was going to do for the cases and trials really scared me for the longest time until I essentially sat myself down and fleshed out all of the cases for Twins AU. Make evidence lists, do research on how your murder cases might go, the works. It's a lot of work but I personally followed this post and also made an evidence list to help me out plot out the murders for Twins AU. This is also a great way to flesh out your protagonist as well, since you get to explore their note-taking style and what kind of language they'd use for taking notes and if they have opinions about certain things.
Write a summary of each character in the story. DR games have a big cast and V3 has an even BIGGER cast than usual, so it's good to write down summaries for all of the characters. I also suggest really studying each character too, even if you plan on changing a character to better suit your tastes (or to get rid of offensive material.... looking at you Angie) you still want to keep the core of their character intact for fans of that character.
Speaking of characters, make sure to try and remember to write each one as a human being, even if they aren't human (Kiibo for example). Develop them, give them quirks and flaws, motivations and wants and desires and dreams. Even if you hate a character, doing this much character study will help you keep them in character and keep their motivations reasonable and understandable.
If you don't have a good grasp on a character, study harder. Don't go looking for other people's interpretations or try to be a crowd pleaser. Make your own interpretation, and that interpretation becomes special to your rewrite.
If you plan on changing a character, for the love of GOD do your research first. Don't go accidentally making Angie into a worse racist caricature of Pacific Islanders Please and Thank You. Actually, just do a ton of research in subject you think might be relevant to a character or the plot--like Gonta and how ableism prevails in his story. Like how Shuichi has anxiety up the wazoo and how Maki has learned helplessness. Study and research hard.
Pace yourself--I don't think people realize how GIANT a V3 rewrite project is--remember that this game is extremely long and you cannot write this in a single month. Once all of your planning is done, write a reasonable amount for it each day. For me, I'm able to crank out 2k a day because I type absurdly fast, but most people would probably want to start at maybe 500 words a day.
If you're not having fun, step back. You might be burnt out and need a break, or maybe the scene you're writing is just not working. Take time to assess your own feelings and do what is appropriate to resolve them.
Don't feel too discouraged if you need to rewrite a whole scene--it happens to the best of us and sometimes things are just not working. It's not lost progress to retry--consider the scene you are replacing as a rough draft you need to remake. I've had to erase huge 1k chunks due to this.
Reward yourself for big accomplishments! When I finished the prologue, I threw myself and my editor ( @trans-shuichisaihara ) a pizza party, and I plan on doing something like that again, albeit probably cheaper. Reward yourself for huge milestones! Hell, I owe myself at least one treat for two chapters I've written, but tbh I've been having so much fun just writing that doing so is rewarding within itself. That doesn't mean external factors can't help, so if you finish a chapter and you're proud of it, buy yourself a treat for working so hard!
If you got a friend who likes editing/beta reading, invite them to beta read for you! They can help you find errors and typos that you might've missed. If you plan on editing your fic, I highly recommend reading your writing out loud to help you find weird sentence structures and awkward phrases. This should have the bonus of making it easier for people who use screen readers/just prefer audiobooks to enjoy your fic as well!
EDIT! Here are two more:
It's okay to be scared writing something new! Getting out of your comfort zone is going to happen with a giant story like this, and maybe you're going to flop at the best parts. That's perfectly fine!!! You can always edit it later--or even just call it "good enough" and move on! This is fanfic for fun, not a professional project you're making money off of. It's okay if things are less than ideal and incredible imperfect. An imperfect story is at least written. That's better than not writing it at all.
For the love of everything that is holy, remember that the characters should be people--and remember that their talents do not make up their entire personality. Their talents should not solely dictate what they wear, how they act, or the worst offender in this fandom--how their executions go. When writing a character Execution, think instead of what would be the worst way for that character to die--that is to say, what would bring them the most despair upon their death. DR1 and DRV3's executions all play with the despair of the blackened in each execution (with DR2 being noted to heavily miss the mark and to be the set of executions that are the most disappointing to Kodaka, from what I've been told.) So if you're stuck on writing a new Execution, try to think about what each execution from DR1 and DRV3 does to play with the despair of the blackened. What about their executions are giving them despair in their final moments? Do they at all relate to their talents, or are they completely separate from their talent? Study them, and you'll be able to use that information to write your own unique executions that are miles better than most of the fan made executions out there.
And I think that's my advice for now! Happy writing, everyone!
#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#kaede akamatsu#maki harukawa#miu iruma#gonta gokuhara#rantaro amami#ryoma hoshi#tenko chabashira#angie yonaga#korekiyo shinguji#tsumugi shirogane#k1 b0#Kiibo#kirumi tojo#himiko yumeno#danganronpa#new danganronpa v3 killing harmony#DRv3#Dr#Danganronpa v3#rewrite#writing advice
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twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)
HOUR SEVEN
in which you come to a few realizations while remembering the very first night you'd met eddie. a phone call with steve leaves you with more questions than answers.
→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn
→ warnings: strong language, eventual smut, heavier angst this chapter but all will be well soon, two uses of y/n, upside down does not exist, minors dni
→ word count: 4.4k+
→ a/n: shorter chapter today but the focus here is the memory! finally making some progress haha. also trying out something new with formatting/the summary situation. if i hate it, i'll probably change it. <3 also, italicized portion is a memory.
masterlist.
spotify playlist.
◁ previous part, next part▷
7:00 ────ㅇ────────────── 24:00
DINGUS: [image attachment]
DINGUS: y/n just texted me this. we’re not getting an update this hour.
BIRDIE: what the hell happened?
DINGUS: she hasn’t said yet, as you can see in the photo, robs.
ARGYLE 😎: what do we THINK happened?
BIRDIE: my best bet is fighting?
ARGYLE 😎: lover’s quarrel? Makes sense.
BIRDIE: i’m adding nance back into the chat
BIRDIE added NANCE to the groupchat.
BIRDIE: @NANCE explain what you meant earlier please. we’re having a code red. the bad kind.
DINGUS: there’s a good kind of code red?
NANCE: Oh God, what happened?
DINGUS: y/n texted me saying she fucked up, and we’re assuming either she’s finally murdered eddie, or they’re fighting again.
NANCE: I can call Eddie, if you guys want?
JOHNNY: So does this mean we’re all $500 richer?
BIRDIE: @JOHNNY if you still think this is about the money, you’re a fucking idiot
—
HOUR SEVEN - 10:00 PM
There had been a time in your life where you believed you didn’t hold a single mean bone in your body. A time where you were soft-spoken, a time where you overflowed with kindness and dotted out compliments to random strangers. There was once a version of you in this lifetime that worked so fervently to be the type of person people liked and enjoyed the company of. You always swore to always treat others with the same grace as you would prefer to receive as well.
A year ago, that version of you had been sidetracked.
You stare at the wooden frame of Eddie’s door with blank eyes. He wasn’t going to open it any time soon. You’d tried knocking multiple times, calling out to him in a soft voice, begging and pleading and begging and pleading. His response continued to be silence.
“All I’ve ever done is hurt you.”
With the haze clearing, in the midst of the aftermath and sour clarity, you wish you would have corrected him. Eddie and you had surely hurt each other countless times, but it is not all he’s ever done.
You can remember the better moments clearly now. The time you’d tripped walking up the steps of one of the bars on Main Street, and Eddie had been the only person in your friend group to stop completely, reflectively reaching out to catch you from embarrassing yourself. The night of your birthday, in which he hadn’t come to the party due to “work” as Steve had explained, but had sent a card along with your friends that contained a gift card to your favorite coffee shop. You hadn’t even realized he knew your favorite coffee shop, and you’d come to find out that he didn’t even ask a single one of your mutual friends for it. You’d brushed it off as a lucky guess. And there was the time you’d forgotten your wallet during a brunch with the group, and he hadn’t hesitated to pick up your bill with his own. He didn’t even give Robin the chance to argue; he’d simply snatched your bill from across the table when you’d paled as you dug through your bag, and didn’t say a word about you paying him back.
Small moments. Glimpses of kindness, bandages on wounds that you’d been ignoring to keep up a war between the two of you that you’d always assumed he’d started.
Eddie Munson wasn’t the enemy, and the first night you two met was never a red herring; it was a glimpse into who he actually was. A clear look past the armor he hadn’t formed yet when it came to you.
—
A YEAR AGO
“They’re going to love you!” Robin insists as she continues to shove you from behind through the entrance of the bar. Steve is ahead of you, guiding you through the rough crowd to the table the rest of the group had already snagged.
You turn your head over your shoulder, reaching up and grabbing the hand that Robin rested on you, “You don't know that. What if they hate me? What if they think I’m the worst person they’ve ever met?”
Even as you wore a smile, there was a truth to the fear in your words. You were petrified that these strangers, strangers who meant so much to your only friends on campus, would turn their noses to you. There was nothing Robin or Steve could do to extinguish the fear. It was already a terrible knot in the pit of your stomach, tying and untying itself like a nuisance as Steve started to wave at a brunette who had been scanning the bar as if waiting for someone.
She’s pretty. Wavy hair barely brushing her shoulders, sharp features accentuated in the shadows of the busy location. The moment her blue eyes locked on Steve, all the concentration on her face faded to be replaced with an excited smile.
She returns the wave, and the boys surrounding her at the table all glance in your direction.
You’re still half-hidden behind Steve as the three of you approach the group. Robin bounds out from behind you, scooping the woman you assumed was the famous Nancy into a barrelling hug. Your eyes flickered to the boy sat to Nancy’s right, shaggy hair flopping against his forehead and smile creases exposed as he nods to Steve and holds up his drink in greeting. Beside him, another man sits, long and shiny hair flowing over an outrageous Hawaiian print shirt and topped off with a baseball cap that looked to be the merchandise of a pizza shop. His smile is welcoming – something comforting in the relaxation of it.
You’re almost completely captivated by the warmth that bled from the group when Steve and Robin are suddenly taking their seats. Robin sits beside Nancy, while Steve takes the seat across from the man with long hair.
The only seat left open was between Steve and a man who’s back was turned to you.
His hair is in a loose bun, unraveling against the nape of his neck. You could see each and every defined curl. His broad shoulders stiffen beneath a leather jacket and denim vest, and his ring-clad hand cradles a short glass of something dark, something fizzy.
“Alright, everyone!” Steve announces, turning and beckoning you to take this seat. Your stomach twists again, realizing you’d be sitting beside a stranger. One who had yet to even spare you a glance, “This is Y/N.”
There’s rounds of greetings and introductions as you brush shoulders with the stranger to take your seat, and try as you might to keep up, all you can focus on is not looking at him.
You’re guess was correct – the pretty girl that Robin had hugged was Nancy. The boy with floppy hair at her side was Jonathan, and the man with long hair told you his name is Argyle. His tone of casualty matches the comfort of his smile as he holds a hand out to you across the table, both your elbow and his brushing against empty baskets once filled with bar food as you shake.
Finally, you turn to look at the stranger beside you, Steve reaching around to clasp his shoulder.
“And mister oh-so-welcoming here is Eddie.”
Eddie. He finally turns to look at you, with doleful eyes and a tight-lipped grin, and you almost forget how to breathe.
He was intimidating. All broodish glances and stand-offish energy. But then Argyle cracks a joke, and suddenly, it all fades. The air in the room crackles frantically as you watch him chuckle slowly at first, until he finally descends into cackles with Steve and Jonathan alike.
That’s when the first vine sprouts.
The second one does when the conversation becomes overwhelming, and you find yourself lost amongst the sea of new friends. They’re nothing but friendly, trying to learn more about you but easily falling into well-established inside jokes at times. When you descend into silence as you watch them recount a story of a time that Argyle snuck them into his job after hours, you suddenly feel Eddie lean in closer to you.
“I think they tell this story every time they get drunk,” he whispers, tilting his head so that the words only reach your ears, “I’ve probably heard it a hundred times by now.”
You bite back a smile, “Just tonight, or the entire time you’ve known them?”
“Both.”
You have to fight hard to swallow down giggles, Eddie hiding his with a sip of his drink. A waiter who had taken your order nearly ten minutes ago arrives with your own drink. An amaretto sour.
“I’m Eddie, by the way,” he says as you taste the drink. Its citrus bursts across your tongue and you nod.
“So Steve mentioned.”
“Yeah, but I felt bad for not introducing myself,” he shrugs. You were facing him fully now, no longer trying to stick vehemently to Steve’s side. “I didn’t want to seem like a dick, just… had a long week.”
You knew all about long weeks.
“I get it,” you assure him, “Are you in school, too?”
“Night classes,” he supplies with a wave of his hand, “Midterms are a bitch, especially after working all day.”
“Tell me about it. I think I’m about ten seconds away from getting fired at my current gig,” you joke, and Eddie laughs. It occurs to you that you’d probably do just about anything to hear his laugh more, and already begin to conjure up terrible jokes to pull that sound from him once more. It’s even more comforting than Argyle’s friendly cadence, than Steve’s elbow knocking yours to remind you he’s still there.
“Why would you think that?” Eddie’s nose scrunches, more curls falling against his cheek. Your drink is immediately forgotten.
“He caught me talking shit,” another laugh falls from Eddie’s lips at your deadpan, more reserved than the previous but just as melodic, “I give it a week. He was already looking for a reason to send me to the chopping block. Says I talk too much to customers.”
“Is that even possible?”
“Apparently.”
For a moment, in the smoky bar, it’s just you and Eddie. All knotting nerves have been replaced by the weight of the vines that surge higher and higher in your chest, growing at impossible rates. They don’t strangle you like your fears of the night had; their weight is a comforting hold, something solid to reach out for in the unfamiliar territory of new socialization. Without the mask of intimidation, Eddie feels like an old friend.
You assume that everyone else is distracted by their own conversation, but Robin catches the way you lean into him as the two of you joke. She nudges Nancy subtly, and they both share a look when Eddie blushes at you being impressed as he tells you that his battle vest is hand-sewn.
Your vines are not as hidden as you assume they are, certainly not when the first bud of hopefulness begins to grow.
“So how long have you known Steve?” you ask him quietly, still under the guise of the two of you having created your own small bubble of a moment.
Eddie downs the last of his Jack & Coke, something you caught onto by smelling it on his breath when he had gotten particularly close to you during conversation, “Too long. We all met in high school, actually.”
“Oh, don’t tell me that,” you groan, and your forehead dramatically falls into his shoulder without second-thought. He stiffens beneath the connection, “I’m infiltrating a friend group that’s stood the test of times? I’m doomed.”
You nearly lift your head from his still stiff shoulder, afraid to make him uncomfortable, when he brings a hesitant hand to pat your back jokingly, “There, there. I think you’re fitting in fine.”
“Just fine? Ouch,” you finally lift your head as you had planned to, just as Eddie had begun to relax into your touch. His hand doesn’t fall too far from your back, resting on the back of your chair. His shy grin is impossibly charming, “You could have just said I’m crashing and burning, you know?”
The night carries on like that, you and Eddie lost in private conversations only to be occasionally dragged back in on whatever debate the group is having. It’s a spring reaction; once one or both of you have given your two cents, you return to one another, finding solitude in joking and Eddie updating you on the group’s ‘lore’, as he puts it. Steve shoots several glances in your direction, always prepared to offer comfort in what should be an overwhelming situation, but he never has to. Every time he glances at you, Eddie is already taking the lead of entertaining you, qualming all your anxieties into non-existence.
Your vines decorate with buds of hope. Every laugh you pull from Eddie, every fleeting touch that passes between the two of you, every new inside joke he decides to make with you rather than indulging in ones set in stone already with old friends - they all whisper of new friendship. They whisper in potential, in new beginnings and coming home after long weeks.
By the time Nancy announces she has to go to the restroom and invites you and Robin, you’re in full bloom. You’re convinced that Eddie is a friend. And you can see it in his eyes – he’s convinced of it too, looking nervous when you stand and agree to go with Nancy. He looks like a child about to lose their social crutch, and it has potential to be devastating.
It’s almost enough to make you ignore your bladder, but you need to pee, and you need to socialize with more than just Eddie tonight.
You’re not sure what happens at the table during your trip to the bathroom. But something surely does happen as you giggle with the girls under the humming lights of the restroom, as you all stand in the mirror side by side and fiddle with your hair and makeup and Robin makes a comment about how terribly cliche the moment is. Nancy slaps her on the arm, mutters something about the importance of girls bonding, and when you return to the table, you see it immediately – Eddie’s mask of indifference has returned.
His cheeks are flushed, and all the boys are sharing nervous glances between one another as you all sit down again.
There’s no more fleeting touches. You sip on your now watered down drink, and you try and pull Eddie out from wherever he’s ventured in your absence, but it’s no use. A conversation was had while you girls had been in the restroom, and it left Eddie in his head, out of reach. The buds of hopefulness quiver on their vines, and you try to reassure yourself that it’s nothing personal. It’s nothing personal when he clearly holds back any laughs at your jokes you lean into his space to whisper to only him, it’s nothing personal when his arm never rests on the back of your chair again, it’s nothing personal when he won’t meet your eyes the rest of the night.
It’s nothing personal, but it’s sorely disappointing.
You end the night, everyone splitting up, Eddie heading off towards his motorcycle. He hadn’t even mentioned driving a motorcycle during the night, and you curse the way you watch him straddle the seat as he secures his helmet over his tied-back hair. You desperately wish to know what was said while you were in the bathroom, what had happened to make him retreat so far from you after spending the entirety of the night tending to the greenery that had grown attached to your ribcage.
“You like him, don’t you?” Robin teases at your side, bumping shoulders.
Something aches in you. The thrill of meeting someone new, of getting along, of finding them cute and endearing, is beyond your grasp.
He didn’t even say goodbye.
“I did,” you whisper softly. A reverberation of past-tense, an exhale of worry.
You did. But he didn’t even say goodbye.
—
Eddie still hasn’t opened the door. But to his defense, you haven’t tried knocking again.
That ache from that night, the feeling of a delicate rush of possibility taunting you from a distance, still remains. Even amongst now rotted vines, even as petals fall from your hopeful buds. It never really went away. With each group hangout that followed, it echoed louder and louder, demanding to be heard and demanding to be felt as Eddie grew colder. You were an idiot the first few times; you’d still gravitated to him, falling right into his orbit and begging for his attention. You’d still seek him out in every room, craving to find the warmth that had once sparked in his eyes only to find them averted from you entirely. And when you couldn’t take the hint, when you wouldn’t leave him alone when Steve and Robin left you to your own devices at the hangouts, he became mean.
You took it as a joke at first, but six months ago, something inside of you finally wisened up – it wasn’t a joke. Eddie Munson hated you. Somehow, he hated you, and yet he also swore to protect you. He hated you, and yet he would still pay for you without you asking him to. He hated you, and yet he still remembered your birthday. He hated you, and yet, he still knew your favorite coffee shop.
He hated you and yet.
You stand, unable to take your racing thoughts anymore, moving to pound on the door again, “Eddie. Open the door.”
You’re not asking anymore.
You don’t care for answers any more. In this moment, you truly believe you could let it all be water under the bridge. Right this second, if you looked into honey brown eyes and goddamn dimples, you’d forgive him.
“Eddie,” your voice cracks, and you scorn yourself.
All I ever do is hurt you.
Even in locking himself away, he’s hurting you. Putting that distance, choosing to not work this out like adults, is hurting you.
“Can you- I don’t know, at least let me know that… that…” you trail off, huffing in frustration and finally smacking a flat palm against wood, watching the door shake on its hinges from your force, “Just let me know you’re alive, Jesus Christ, Eddie. We still have to take the stupid fucking photo for this hour, and we-”
Mid-tirade, the door swings open to reveal Eddie. He doesn’t look irritated, he doesn’t look mad. He looks tired.
The war between you two has weighed heavy on him, too. He doesn’t look like the same person you met a year ago. The battles raged, the fights lost, the victories celebrated through bloody teeth – they all show on the shadows of his face, a clear mirror image to your own.
“Take the photo,” he says in monotone, hardly leaving the door cracked enough to catch a proper glimpse of him.
“What?”
“The photo. Take it. For the chat, so you can get your money when it’s all over.”
You’re stunned for a second. The money hadn’t even crossed your mind; you had just been rambling, hoping to find the right thing to say to get him to unlock the barrier between you two.
Who the fuck even cares about the money anymore?
You do. You’re supposed to. And so is he.
You sigh and pull your phone from your back pocket, and turn your back to him before lifting the camera to capture the two of you. The door creaks open an inch more.
There’s no fun pose. There’s no smiles. There’s nothing. It’s even more lifeless than the first photo taken. You can’t stand to look at it longer than necessary as you send it off to the group.
Just as you turn around to face him again, to try and talk to him, the door shuts again. You can hear the soft click of a lock. The ache is heard, the ache is felt, as you refuse to look back at the wood that still separates you physically, at the emotions that separate you mentally.
You don’t really know why you do it. But you walk out to the living room, deciding against sitting outside the door any longer and continuing to make yourself miserable. Your feet carry you straight to the sliding door of his balcony, and you press outside into the cooler night air, shutting the door behind you.
What happened when I was in the bathroom that night?
The thought haunts you, a new ghost that had been lingering and gathering dust since that night. You never asked anyone, certainly not Eddie, and refuse to overthink it until now. But after tonight, after practically reliving your first encounter with Eddie all over again, the deja vu and the curiosity are winning over.
You dial Steve’s number.
“Hell-”
“Why do me and Eddie hate each other?” you blurt out, cutting off Steve’s greeting.
“I- What?” Steve’s confused, understandably so, “How should I know? I don’t keep a list of every time you rant about him to me.”
“What about him?”
“Okay, you know I love you, but I’m not a mind-read-”
“What about a list of every time he rants about me?”
Silence buzzes through the line, and you glance up at the night sky. It’s a cloudy black. The city pollution hides most of the stars, and from Eddie’s balcony, you can’t locate the moon.
“I also don’t have one of those.”
“Why not? Because, Jesus Christ, Harrington, I have questions-”
“Because he doesn’t rant about you. Especially not to me, but Nancy says he never talks about you usually either,” Steve explains in an even tone, still not sure how his answer should be helping you. You are the one, afterall, with Eddie right now.
Even if he is locked away in his room right now, refusing to speak to you.
“That makes no sense,” you sigh, exasperation creeping its way into your bones, “I rant about him all the time. I’ve bitched to you and Robin more times than I can count about him. He should be doing the same.”
Steve says your name softly, “Why are you asking me this?”
You laugh humorlessly and shake your head, even knowing Steve can’t see you, “It’s stupid. Forget it,” It’s not stupid to you, and you can’t forget it, but this doesn’t concern Steve, “Can I ask you one last question, though?”
“Shoot, babydoll,” you can’t help but grin at that nickname. Steve pulls it out at random, every time he’s trying to make you feel bad. He knows that neither of you can take it seriously.
“Um, that night you introduced me to everyone,” you begin, stepping up to wrap your free hand around the iron railing of Eddie’s balcony, letting the cold seep into your palm, “At the bar, you know?”
“Right…” he encourages, “What about it?”
“Me and Eddie got along,” you spit it out, letting it tear from your chest and score your throat on its way out, “We… we were getting along at first, and then I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he…. He…”
He was gone. The Eddie I’d first met had vanished. Where’d he go? Why’d he go?
“Shit, your memory is way better than mine,” Steve chuckles, sounding nervous, “But, I mean, I kind of remember that. You two getting along, at least. Guess that’s why we all were really confused when you started hating each other. But I’m still not understanding the question - are you asking if I remember the night? Or if he’s ever talked about it? I was a jock, you’re gonna have to spell it out for my pea brain.”
“Stop insinuating you’re stupid,” you scold on instinct, scowl settling along your features as you lean onto the railing and glance down. It’s only two stories, but the ground feels impossibly far as you ask, “What happened when all us girls went to the bathroom? When we came back, he acted differently. Did he mention hating me that night? Did I leave a bad first impression? Was it all just a joke to hi-”
“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. One question, remember?” you’re sure Steve can hear the panting in your breath over the line, the way your chest heaves in the memory, “I’ve gotta be honest - I don’t remember. I know that’s probably not the answer you’re looking for, and I don’t know what’s going on with you two right now, but I was already well on my way to drunk. I think Jonathan and Argyle poked some fun at Eddie, maybe teased him about something, but I really can’t recall what it was about. Maybe his hair? Who knows?”
The answer isn’t helpful. It’s only more confusing, more hurtful.
He stopped joking with you because someone made fun of his hair? You lost access to the warmth buried beneath his surface because his friends teased him?
“Okay,” you sound defeated. You feel defeated – defeated by the weight of still feeling like an outsider, defeated by the barrier of some measly wooden door, defeated by the hurt in Eddie’s eyes as you admitted that he only ever hurts you, “Okay, thanks, Steve.”
You hang up before either of you say goodbye. When you pull your phone down from your cheek and ear, you see your phone still open to the photo of Eddie and you that you’d sent to the group.
You were wrong. There wasn’t only nothing. Your face may have been void of all emotions, but now looking at it, you can see Eddie’s isn’t.
He’s looking at you and not the camera during the shot, face crestfallen, eyes nearly teary as the corners of his mouth tucked downward.
He’s looking at you with regret, with sadness. He’s looking at you as if he can see the vines he’d planted in you, all rotted and dusting away, and he’s mourning them just as you had.
It’s bullshit, or your imagination, or your innate need for Eddie to bleed the same way as you have over your entire situation with each other. You lock your phone and don’t bother to look at the photo again as you enter the living room, as you toss your phone onto the loveseat, as you curl up on the couch and don’t even bother to go to ask for a pillow or blanket. He probably wouldn’t answer the door, anyway.
You don’t say goodnight to Eddie, just as he never said goodbye to you the first night, and wonder if he notices the absence of your salutation.
taglist: @catherinnn @haylaansmi @gaysludge @paprikaquinn @manda-panda-monium @audhd-dragonaut @amira0303 @blushingquincy @hellkaisersangel @eddieslittlewh0re @ajkamins @prettyboy200 @munsonzzgf @blue-eyed-lion @digwhatudug @madaboutjoe @wickedslashdivine @sweet-villain @somespicystuff @big-ope-vibes @jadequeen88 @sylviin @emma77645 @notbeforelong @lolalanaie @lo-siento-ama @happy-and-alone @micheledawn1975 @aysheashea @moon-huny @munsonswrld @bambipowerblueaddition @averagestudent03 @bakugouswh0r3 @mattefic @mxcheese @bietchz @nativity-in-black @tlclick73 @stezzil @vngelis @coley0823 @folklorebau @luvmunson86 @theherothesavior @keene200213 @hargrovesswifee @m-chmcl-rmnc @cherrymedicine13 @iunaelumen777
taglist is now closed.
#eddie munson#twenty four hours#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x y/n#feels so short of a chapter haha#angsty babes
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‘THE CONQUEROR REBORN’. ( THE AFTERMATH OF ROOK'S REST )
AUTHOR NOTE! Thanks for all the love. Here is a sneak peek of one of the chapter’s from “THE CONQUEROR REBORN”. <3 pairing: Aegon ii Targaryen x Hightower! OC ( Roselyn Tully-Hightower ) x Helaena Targaryen prompt: The aftermath of Rook's Rest word count: 500+ words ( If you like this. Go to wattpad to read the rest of it! )
The bitter smell of sandalwood and singed hair twinkles in the air.
The softness of linen bed sheets underneath her fingertips.
The clicking of heels against the floor.
Feeling a new presences in the room, she lifts her head up, seeing Helaena standing at the end of the bed. Trailing her eyes down her out of pure habit, her hair was left down and unruly. Her nightgown wrinkled and half-heartedly covered with an emerald green robe. Her lips pulled into a small pout. It was clear she had noticed her lack of presence in bed. Gods, Helaena looked so beautiful, so kissable in this moment.
Not finding the strength to go to her, she turns her head back to Aegon, watching his labored breathing. The guilt bubbling back up within her. She had caused this. She had caused Aegon to lay in this bed, half dead. It clicked in her head, she was just as bad as Otto. She was just as bad as Larys. She was just as bad as all the men who had used her. She had become the monster that she detested so much.
“You were not in bed. I missed you.” Helaena whispers, resting her hand on the headboard.
“Helaena, I..”
“He will awake, I know it.” Helaena reassures, though it does little to comfort her.
“Tis’ your hope, or your dreams that tell you so?”
Resting her forehead against Aegon’s hand, she closes her eyes tightly, unable to look at Helaena anymore. Her eyes still wet with tears. The lump in her throat still prominent. The haunting thought echoing in her head, She was just as bad as all the men who had used her. She had become the monster that she detested so much. She would infect all those she cared about, even Helaena.
Feeling a gentle hand on her back, she pathetically melts, whimpering softly at the gentleness in her touch. She did not deserve this. Not after what she had done. Lifting her head up softly, she stares up at Helaena, snot and tears dripping down. Turning her head away in shame, Helaena tilts her head back, wiping away the snot with her nightgown.
“I hate him, but I did not think that seeing him in such a state..” She confesses, “That it would make me feel so horrid and guilty. I thought it would feel good. Empowering, even.”
“But, now it’s just horrid..?” Helaena suggests, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Yes.”
“I feel the same. I thought that if he died, we could be free. But, if he dies, I fear what will become of us.” Helaena nods, pressing a kiss onto her forehead. “Maelor will be King, gods knows what the small council will do as he is still a babe.”
Teary eyes.
A ragged sniffle.
A soft chirping of birds.
A cool breeze.
Allowing Helaena to cup her face in her hand, she leans into the touch, selfishly seeking out the reassurance that she was not a monster. Mayhaps, she was too much like Aegon in this moment. Seeking out reassurance that after all the sins she had committed, she was not so mangled and damned. The seven would curse her. They would surely not forgive her for this sin. She had intended to kill. But, with the way Helaena touched her. The way she looked at her. Perhaps, this sin was not so bad.
“If I could, I would take back what I have done, Helaena.” She apologies, “I do not blame you if you hate me. If when Aegon awakes you both hate me. If you banish me to the Black Cells.”
“He won’t, nor would I. I love you, so does he.”
“You should not, not after what I⎯”
“Come back to bed..” Helaena murmurs, “Come back to me.”
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@lovelykhaleesiii
@fragileheartbeats
@nightvers
@zaldritzosrose
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#house of the dragon#house of dragons#house of dragons x reader#house of the dragon x reader#aegon ii targaryen#hotd x reader#aegon targaryen x reader#hotd#hotd fanfic#hotd s2#hotd season 2#aegon x reader#aegon ii targaryen x reader#hotd aegon#king aegon#aegon the second#the conqueror reborn#roselyn hightower
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𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑! BY THE COFFEE MACHINE ! javier peña x reader
summary: Javier Peña doesn’t like you. You’re too nice, too bubbly, and you get on his last nerve. He didn’t get how anybody in this line of work could be so goddamn cheery all the time. Though aside from your, in his eyes, forced and fake kindness, you had no bad features, and perhaps that, added to your beauty, is what ticked him off so much. Could he learn to like you the more time passes, or would you do this dance of hatred forever?
pairing: javier peña x afab!reader
warnings, notes: EVENTUAL 18+ smut, reader has a bit of an established backstory, a few uses of y/n but only when necessary, r! has a dog, references to narcos and thus real life people and occurrences (pablo escobar, the cartel, etc), ENEMIES TO LOVERS but it’s one sided because javier hates r!, r! has an established personality, grumpy x sunshine
word count: 500-
LYN SPEAKING! so this is an already finished piece that i wrote nearly a year ago, a word count of 20k+ to boot! holy fuck! this is a series from javier’s pov, though if people are interested, i’d like to throw in more chapters from reader’s pov using second person, especially for smut as the original piece was written as an sfw work. if people like this, i’m down to share much, much more! anyway, enjoy this little prologue. lyn out!
edit: read the next part HERE!
My name is Javier Peña, and I work as an agent for the DEA in Bogotá, Columbia.
I’ve never been a commitment kind of guy. Not unless we’re talking about work, anyways. For the longest time, the only thing I’d ever call myself loyal to was just that: Work, with a side of coffee and cigarettes.
And tracking down a Columbian drug lord, but we’ll talk about that later.
I’ve seen this job do a lot of things to people. I’ve seen it better them as a person, and I’ve seen it tear them to shreds even more. I’ve seen it end up in friendships, just as much as it ends in divorce.
And I’m no genius, but if you look at the odds, the latter happens way more often.
I never would’ve guessed that, of all the goddamn people in the DEA, I would be one of the ones to experience the phenomenon that is this job bringing people together.
If you think the odds of people in the DEA either making friendships, or divorcing, or even becoming enemies is low, the odds of them falling in love is ridiculously lower. It’s almost laughable.
And let’s just say: Javier Peña was not the kind of guy who those odds would fall upon.
A year ago today, I was bullying the woman who would soon become my girlfriend, and hopefully, one day, my wife. Now that I look back on it, it doesn’t seem palpable that it even happened at all.
That same woman is in my line of vision now, playing with her dog as they run around in front of me. She’s laughing as she throws a frisbee around, chasing the Shepard mix as it runs after it. From time to time, she’ll turn back to me, flashing that brilliant smile of hers that made me fall in love with her in the first place.
“Hey, Peña! Are you coming over here or what?” she yells at me with that witty sass that’ll always bring me to my knees.
Or, in this case, my feet.
I get up from where I lay in the sand, shaking my head at her as I approach. She looks even more gorgeous than usual as she holds her hands on her hips, hanging fire for me as the sun is setting behind her.
I don’t like getting sappy. I didn’t like getting sappy, I guess. But every love with no end, surely has a beginning.
Allow me to give you ours.
if you made it to the end of this, i really hope you liked it! please consider leaving a reblog, as they help my work immensely <3 kisses!
#javier peña#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier pena smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#javier pena narcos
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Keep on Rolling - MV1
Chapter 2.5
Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.
After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?
Right?
500 words
This one is just a filler chapter. You don't have to read it for the rest of the story, but it may come up again (this'll just give context to something coming up later in the story)
Series Masterlist
"You look like shit," said Charles as he walked over to Y/N. She looked up at him and glared, although he couldn't see it through her sunglasses.
"You don't and I hate you for it," she threw back.
Charles sat on the chair beside her. "That's because most of us stopped drinking when we felt tipsy. Because we're, you know, grown-up, sensible Formula One drivers," he explained.
"Ass," she muttered under her breath. "Can we go and get food?"
Charles stood up and helped Y/N to her feet. They left the hotel and wandered around the streets of Miami until they found a quaint little cafe.
With seats out front and a bookshelf in the back. It wasn't that busy, and the pastries displayed in the window looked lovely. The seating area in front of the cafe was surrounded with bright and colourful flowers. The seats themselves were black and metal, covered in cushions that looked designed by Cath Kidston. Umbrellas covered them, keeping the seats in the shade.
Y/N sat down while Charles went inside and got them their coffees. He came back out and sat beside opposite Y/N. She still hadn't taken off the sunglasses. "Have you seen the footage from last night yet?" He asked.
A waitress came over with a tray full of coffee and pastries. She set them down, tucked the tray under her arm and walked away.
Picking up the coffee, Y/N took a long sip. "Not yet," she said. "I don't think I'm brave enough to look at it."
Charles let out something close to a giggle. Not quite a laugh but still more than a giggle. "You should be looking forward to it. It was good fun," he said, picking up his pastry.
"I need to tell you something," she said suddenly and put down her coffee. This was serious. Charles still had a hold of his pastry, but he wasn't eating it, instead waiting for Y/N to say something. She took in a breath and began. "Last night, after you all left, Max stayed behind."
Charles' eyes went wide. "You didn't..."
"No! No, Charles, no. Oh my god, no. At least, I don't think so. He was still dressed and I was under the covers, so I think we're in the clear," she explained and went back to drinking her coffee.
"So Max took care of you when you were drunk. What's the problem with that?"
Y/N's empty coffee cup hit the little dish it usually sat in. "The problem is that I... liked waking up beside him," she said, nibbling on her pastry. Her head was far too sore for this.
"You have a crush on Max?"
She shook her head. "Crush is such a childish word. Let's just say I have a thing for him and I wouldn't mind if he had a thing for me."
They finished up in the coffee shop and left, wandering around the streets of Miami. They didn't go back to the hotel room right away. Y/N went into a shop, one specifically for tourists, and bought a fridge magnet. To commemorate the trip, she thought, justifying her purchase.
Like she needed any more memories from this trip.
(The middle picture is the design I picture on the seat covers)
Taglist (Open): @sticksdoesart @eviethetheatrefreak @eugene-emt-roe @glai1023-blog @mqcherie @itsjustkhaos @chonkybonky
#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x female reader#max verstappen x you#f1 imagine#g2 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1#formula 1#formula imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula one#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#mv1#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#lando norris#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#keep on rolling
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For Better or Worse
Third part of The Way We Were Saga. This is from Reader's point of view. Getting ready for the fatal encounter, maybe a chapter more.
Word Count: 1547
Tags: angst, past abusive relationship, alcoholism, violence, blood, past toxic relationship, f!reader.
Part I, Part II
Loving someone like Logan was an arduous task. Yet you still gladly did it. Because you knew that under all that brooding, all that snark and anger, laid a vulnerable heart just wishing to be cared for.
It wasn't hard to be attracted to Logan, you just had to take a look at those huge veiny arms, and all common sense went through the window. But to actually fall in love with him, to slowly tear down the walls he had spent centuries meticulously building, was as hard as it was worth it.
You had always loved him with your entire self, you had given your all without complaining. And you knew he loved you as much in return, even if he didn't know who to properly express it.
The day you gave the 'I do' to each other, was actually one of the happiest in your entire life. You had been married to the most wonderful man to ever walk this earth. And you made sure to tell him so, loving the way his cheeks were suddenly tinted pink.
You were the one to encourage him to join the X-Men, knowing that being around people who were like him and could help him understand his gifts would do him so much good. You liked them, from the very beginning they had been nothing but kind to you, despite you being a human. You knew they would take good care of Logan when you couldn't.
Logan was too proud to admit it, but you knew that deep down he appreciated them as well. Even if he refused to go out there dressed up like a 'Mustard clown' as he called his suit. Sometimes, Logan's pride got the best of him and sneaked out from the mansion, just to go out for a drink with his lovely wife.
Then, one day, everything went to hell.
He had run off again to you, trying to act like the though lone wolf he thought he was. They had called him. Several times, but he refused every single one of those calls.
Until the phone stopped ringing.
When he returned, the only thing he found was death. His friends and colleages' corpses, along those of the students were scattered across the entire mansion. He had been too late.
He lost control.
The guilt and self hate drove him into a downward spiral. Each night you stayed awake , with your heart in your throath, waiting for him to come back home covered in blood and reeking of whiskey. Sometimes you had to drive wherever he was passed out and drag his nearly 500 pound body towards your truck until you felt like you were going to pass out. Other times, he disappeared for days, even weeks, only to come back and act like nothing had happenned. Those were the worst, as you silently waited near the radio for some knews saying he had been found dead or something much worse.
You so desperately wanted to help him heal. If only he trusted you like before.
Logan didn't talk to you at all. Whenever you tried to start a conversation with him, he just grunted in dismissal, and if you tried to push your luck and try to help him open up to you he would smash the bottle he was currently holding against the nearest surface, or tear anything with his claws, making you wince.
You knew he would never hurt you.
You dreaded to think that one day there could be a 'yet' following that statement.
Sometimes you thought he blamed you for him being away that night. You could feel it in the way he made love to you, if that could be called making love. It was rough, animalistic, lacking any affection or emotion.
Yet you continued to support and take care of him, because you loved him and knew he was grieving; ignoring the fact of you were also drowning in your own grief, they had also been your friends, your family, and to think they had found such tragic endings made you lose hope on humankind.
But what really tore your heart was watching your husband self destruct. After months, quietly swallowing your own pain and tears, you found your last straw in a stormy at that dive bar on the road.
You begged him to stop hurting himself so much, you cried, screamed, finally letting out those feelings you had been repressing for so long. You couldn't just stand there and watching him destroy himself.
Apparently, that was the last straw for him as well.
When you felt his claws on your neck, you realised this was no longer the man you had married. A stranger had taken his place.
When he left you, in the middle of the rain, you sank to your knees and cried, actually sobbed your heart out. Completely numb to the cold or the dirt that covered your pijamas. You didn't know that your troubles had just begun.
A couple of weeks later you found those two dreaded lines on the pregnancy test. You cried again, cried tears you didn't know you had left, you cried to the point that your own sorrow would swallow you whole. But this time, those feelings of self pity were short lived. There was a growing life inside you, a tiny life who didn't deserve all the misery and hurt you had endured.
A switch had been flipped in you.
You needed to take action.
Back home, your husband's nefarious reputation had broken havoc in your life. You knew what they called you 'The Bride of the Wolverine', 'The Mistress of the Monster', people looked at you with disgust clearly etched into their faces, someone even insulted you when you walked down the street. Back at your hospital, they had decided to lay you off for 'classified circunstances' as they had called. It would be a matter of days before they kicked you out of the apartment too.
Swallowing your pride, you packed up what little you had left and moved to another place, away from all the pain and suffering. Like hell you were going to allow your kid to go through this too.
Your new neighborhood wasn't exactly the Hamptons, but it was discreet and allowed you and your growing belly to pass unnoticed. A rundown clinic at the end of the street was not exactly the job of your dreams, but at least it would pay the bills. Your child would never lack anything, not on your watch.
You worked hard. Harder than you remembered, taking multiple shifts and not stopping until your pregnancy made it impossible for you to move.
It was tiring doing the work of two all by yourself, it was exhausting and you had to admit that having to push in that baby without anyone to hold your hand or give you soothing words of comfort made you feel lonely than ever.
However, the second you were allowed to hold the little bundle that you had taken nearly six hours to push out of your body, whatever remaining grief in your heart dissipated.
She was perfect. Your little Ava. She was so small, so delicate. You knew from the first moment you saw her you'd never let anything harm her, ever.
Ava grew up happily, she was optimistic, curious and joyful. She loved ice cream, fries, animals and Monster High. There were no signs of the mutant gene on her, eventhough it was still to early for it to manifest. Not that you'd love her any less. But the less features she took from Logan, the better. Who knew what those people could if they found out the infamous Wolverine had reproduced.
And who knew what Logan would do if he ever found out. Maybe the Logan you married would had been esctatic, though would try to hide it under his 'cool guy' persona. It didn't matter because, that Logan was long gone and you had serious doubts he'd ever return.
So for nearly ten years you lived in peace. Or what could be considered as peace given your situation.
Still, fate found a way to screw you over. As always.
─────────────────────ⓧ─────────────────────
Blood ran cold in your veins. It was like watching the Ghost of Christmas Past suddenly appear before you.
He looked older, tired even. As if he had finally relieved himself of he huge weight he carried on his shoulders.
Why was he here? How had he found you? What did he want? Your arm shot backwards, trying as best as you could to shield your little girl from the man accross the street, desperately holding onto the hope that he hadn't seen her yet, despite his enhanced senses.
You quickly rushed her in, claiming to have forgotten something back home. You know you both will be late for school and work, but you didn't dare to get out if he was out there patrolling the streets.
As if this door was enough to stop him.
You peek through the window. For a couple of seconds you don't know what to expect. Would he still be there? Would he come after you? Did you want him to? Fortunately for you, he was gone, although that wasn't enough to calm your racing heart, because, deep down, you knew he had seen her. You had seen the way his eyes had slightly widened, the way his nostrils had flared, the way his mouth had opened slightly in disbelief.
He knew.
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Supe reunion (ch.1)
C.w - short chapter (sorry), angst, mention of payback, fem!reader calls Ben ‘Sir’, not much really, multiple parts to this, 500 words. No italics this chapter!!
Summary - Ben and Fem!reader finally reunite after 40 years of torture from the russians.
Ch. 2
You thought he would hate you. But here he was, in front of you, with no intention of hurting you. He was just, staring.
As soon as The Boys found out you were alive with Ben. Butcher figured why not just let you both out, you’d both suffered already. You also overheard Butcher and Hughie talking about Ben’s plan. He wanted to kill the rest of Payback.
Payback, that fucking team betrayed Ben, or also known as Soldier Boy. Sent him to the Russians for termination. You? You were his loyal fucking side kick. You obeyed him, you never even bothered to judge him for his humor, his personality. You saw who he was underneath that damn helmet, and you never judged him. You were like an anchor to him, you guided him to a greater light. And sure, his fuckin’ teammates were traitors. But you? He knew. He remembered your screams.
He didn't dare make a sound. He just stood there.
After a few moments of silence, you spoke up, “Sir, I didn’t- I didn’t want this to happen. God, i’m so stupid, I didn’t want this to happen to you-“ You were on the verge of tears, and he could tell. He cut you off.
“I know you didn’t, Doll.” He said simply, as if he was fighting back emotions from showing. But he knew you could see what was beneath his facade.
“C’mere,”
You didn’t hesitate in leaning forward into his arms, you tried to hold back your tears to not dampen his jersey shirt, but he let you cry. Your sobs echoed in the empty Motel room.
Hughie and Butcher were out, trying to find the rest of Ben’s team. But at that moment, it didn’t matter. All it mattered was you were in the arms of the man you so badly needed.
Ben’s coos, they helped you calm down, they always did.
Of course, you loved Ben. Well, you still love him. But that was what you never dared to say to his face.
Crimson Countess, that was who the media partnered him with. The constant flirting between the two, and the bickering always had you feeling like you were never enough. You were obedient, you were always so perfect to Ben. You always were there for Ben.
So why didn’t he notice you?
Those feelings resurfaced, but now, you didn’t know what to think. Here he was, holding you in his arms, letting you dampen his clothing.
After a moment of silence, you pulled back. Looking up at him with those same doe eyes you did forty years ago. The eyes that always left Ben in a spell.
You looked at each other for a minute. Just admiring the fact that you both were actually here, standing in front of eachother.
Ben finally spoke up, “Since we’re together.. why don’t we have a joint?” You let out a soft laugh.
“Then can we kill the stupid dicks?” You said with a smile. Ben grinned, “Hell yeah!” He said loudly.
#soldier boy#the boys#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x reader#soldier boy x reader#the boys x you#fanfic#angst#next part out soon!!
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