#50% exam

[faaun]

trying so hard to move thru this w grace and dignity + my actions reflect this so im ok :)

[cable-salamdr]

We can make fun of Ninjago’s lessons all we want however I would be lying if I’d say I haven’t repeated “When there is no calm outside of you find the calm inside of you” during stressful situations (exams) and that it didn’t helped.

[blackoutbruh]

quickly drew dave singing a very cool and cute song

[clawfisher]

I can’t believe it, I thought the euphoric brothers were better than this. I’m so tired of the “bury your gays” trope in media, so to see them kill off one of the only gay characters in their series is heartbreaking 💔

[octaviasdread]

Mrs Perry, the 50s Housewife & Neil

This entire post is inspired by a discord discussion so I can't take all the credit, but Mrs Perry gives off alllll the signals of a 50s housewife reliant on emotional suppression and prescription pills to cope with the demands of post-war society.

'They used barbiturates to aid in sleep, minor tranquilizers to ease anxiety, and amphetamines to help lose weight and boost energy. [...] Women’s pill consumption signals their difficulties, at times, before feminism of the era explicitly touched upon them' - Erin Brown, You Go to My Head: Women's Prescription Pill Use in Postwar America

Her smoking while she waits for Neil to return with Mr Perry from the play suggests a habit to cope with stress. It’s also notable that she hurries to put it out. Is this a further sign she’s smoking to relieve anticipation, or is it something she doesn’t want Neil to see?

And Mr Perry? His treatment of her can partly be explained by patriarchal family structure. What Mr Perry wants, Mr Perry gets. He is head of the family, and takes the lead in family communications with Neil, so much that beneath Mr Perry's repeated use of 'we,' it's difficult to discern how Neil's mother feels.

In the scenes set in the Perry house, we mainly see the family in Mr Perry's study. This direct parallel to Nolan's office INSIDE Neil's home emphasises the rule of authority over his life, and the extent of how trapped he is.

The parallel is important because Nolan's office is shown as a place of punishment for the students, and a reinforcement of their lack of agency.

More specifically, the deleted scenes show school clubs being dictated to the boys as they stand in front of Nolan’s desk. This confirms that school annual - and the editorial position that Neil earned - is taken from him on Mr Perry's whim, just as his whole life is ripped away the next time he stands beside a desk in Mr Perry’s office.

The hurt and betrayal Neil feels in these early scenes is hidden from Nolan, and he submits to the authority of his father. But Neil can no longer hide his hurt by the end. He has gained and then lost too much to accept the stricter controls Mr Perry is imposing.

So what does Mrs Perry do when faced with her son's obvious distress? Almost nothing.

Her worry for her son is real, but she shows no true support that Neil can rely on. He looks to her for help and comfort twice. The first time, she looks down, then back at Neil, and says nothing. The second time is after she begins to speak, but her one attempt fails, and she falls back into passivity.

She stands aside. It's as if Mrs Perry isn't really there, stuck behind an invisible boundary observing the damage as the scene unfolds.

It's only when Mr Perry leaves that she provides some fleeting comfort - but this comfort doesn't feel present to Neil. She doesn't articulate her support, doesn't touch him, or make signs that Neil can grasp without doubting her belief in him.

Instead of prioritising her son, she follows Mr Perry without complaint, leaving Neil to grieve alone for the loss of everything he holds dear.

This tiny scene says so much about the dysfunctional family dynamic Neil has been raised in. It's impossible to say when it started, or when his mother stopped advocating for Neil's emotional wellbeing, but there's definitely a bond - however strained - between mother and son that isn't shared with Mr Perry.

As @desire-mona has said, Mr Perry uses his wife and possibly her health to guilt and manipulate Neil into following his demands. There's definitely an argument to made for Mrs Perry having fragile health. If this is physical, or a 'nervous' ailment historically diagnosed in housewives, or a combination of the two isn't clear. Whatever it is, she must not be upset.

This puts a lot of pressure on a child, and Neil (understandably) complies under the threat. As the above scene implies, Neil is blamed, and likely blames himself, if Mrs Perry's symptoms get worse around the time he disobeys, or just fails to please his parents.

The Perrys different reactions to stress are clearest at the discovery of Neil's death. The shock causes Mr Perry to bypass anger (although anger returns in his search for someone - i.e. Keating - to blame) and his care for Neil surfaces. This is the first time his care is shown through sympathetic emotion rather than demands for Neil to succeed.

Mrs Perry hurtles into denial. Her body is reacting to distress, but she can't comprehend reality. 'He's alright,' she repeats, retreating into a fragile imagined safety to cope.

@pencileraser1 has also linked the parallels between Mrs Perry and Neil smoking to the possibility of an inherited mental illness.

Being raised in an emotionally abusive household, and internalising the shame of not conforming to Mr Perry's ideal would be enough to contribute to depression in Neil. But I think both mother and son could share dissatisfaction and a desire for escapism.

When faced with the constraints of the larger system they live under, their mental illness plays out in different ways.

Neil finds a healthier outlet behind the backs of authority through the club, acting, and finding an adult mentor to support him, while Mrs Perry has little to no opportunities to escape the confines of the home or the scrutiny of her community.

Once these opportunities (and coping mechanisms) are taken from him, Neil doesn't turn to smoking, escapist poetry, or other forms of temporary numbing. He's seen his parents suburban lives, seen the life they want for him, and perhaps he can't and won't live in quiet compliance the way Mrs Perry does.

I wonder how Mrs Perry copes afterwards? Does she see a decent therapist? Separate (but not divorce) from Mr Perry? Does she take pills and numb herself further? I don't think I want to know.

[ravidrws]

An apple for the birthday boy 🍎

[stephaniebrownthespoiler]

so I've just read the infamous green arrow issue that convinced the fandom that Ollie and Roy hate each other and that Ollie is a bad parent... and like that's not how it reads at all? like obviously Ollie was really shitty to Roy in these issues but like it's very clear throughout it that they have a strong bond and I'd say they very much make it clear that they'll make it past this? people need to start actually reading the comics they're referencing istg

[istharoth]

In love with a 2-D Character?! Vagastrom Edition!

Blurb: In which you are a character in a popular game the Tokyo debunker boys are coincidentally in love with.

↪ Alan Mido:

Also in the doesn't play games category.

He just sees Leo playing the game, and then he sees Tohma play the game and is a bit curious so he downloads it.

There's not much to do, it's a usual tapping game, and he can get behind it!

Cue the character selection screen where he accidentally chooses a random character which just happened to be you.

He doesn't see you until the second chapter, hearing the rumours about you killing someone gets him a bit curious.

THEN YOU COME INTO PICTURE AND GAH DAMN, You're so strong and caring but don't know how to express your love.

You're so. *sigh* He doesn't know how to explain it. He just finds you absolutely adorable and wants to be there with you to protect you.

He tries to get pictures with cosplayers following Tohma's example but he's only gotten a few pictures.

TRADITIONAL ART?! Traditional art. Has Sho take good pictures of his art and posts them on Twitter, very wholesome, very demure.

"The one time you're in love and it's a fictional character." - Leo probably.

His luck is unexpectedly very good. Gets all your editions, sometimes even doubles.

*Cue a card of you in an onsen* The very second someone shows him the picture, that's all he can think of. Cannot wait for when his work is done so he can play the game and potentially pull for your card.

Does not understand gacha rates. Alan: *does a ten pull. Doesn't get a character.* The game is broken, he'll try again at a later time.

Isn't the collector type, you just love him too much so you come home immediately. [his SR warding card loves me more than his SR loves me...alan come home, the kids miss you.]

↪ Leo Kurosagi

Only played the game because his Twitch chat asked him to. He asks them to select a character for him and they choose you.

He does not like you at first glance and selects another character, who coincidentally happens to be your friend.

He plays the second chapter while streaming and when the scene of you whimpering telling the man to put the knife down comes up, he hates you more.

Cue the transition of you being an absolute demon as the chapter passes.

You're an asshole? Sexy. [I read this in Na Jaemin's voice. *head in hands*]

You plan on killing him? and you're smart? and you manipulate?? Okay maybe you're not that bad...you're annoying, sure, but he doesn't hate you.

He's deluding himself into thinking he doesn't like you but every time you appear on screen, he has to stop himself from giggling like a highschooler who has a crush on someone.

He has a crush on you, he just doesn't know it yet.

He's the embodiment of "I hate this character" - puts up posters of the character on his wall.

His fans send him your merch just to spite him because they think he hates you. He doesn't particularly care about his fans, but he's frothing at the mouth whenever someone gives him your merchandise.

He doesn't spend his hard-earned money on you, but he uses the accounts of those old men he scammed to get you.

May or may not have had Sho cosplay you only to tell him he ruins your charm.

↪ Sho Haizono

Very casual player, likes a select few characters, says he plays for the gameplay but plays for the story.

Likely got into it because Leo and Alan were playing it, then he saw Subaru playing it, went "okay, peer pressure."

Based on the selection, he got the idea you were a delinquent, sure, and you had a nice voice. But nothing much about you? he selects you anyway because why not.

THERE YOU ARE IN THE PROLOGUE and he's absolutely loving the attitude. Disrespecting the cat-boy chancellor? Heck yeah.

Plays through the second chapter where you come up, a bit annoyed by your lack of will to do anything but relatable.

He likes your bike though, very cool. 10/10 would go on long night rides with you.

After he learns you like cooking and that your friend is really just like a toxic-ex-significant other, he really starts appreciating you. You went from 'okay' to 'I love you' scale real quick.

Whatever dishes you mention, he's going to make them right then and there, he'll put the game on pause and go into the kitchen just to make it.

He may or may not have cosplayed you once [The Fox Robe does cosplays too, I TRUST. If free clothes then cosplay? yes.] or more than once.

Has a plushie of you and those little mini plushie keychains attached to his keys. Has jewellery based on you, my boy is not down bad, he's just so in love with your design and you.

Probably has more things that remind him of you than your actual merch.

Candles? Candles based on you? Yes.

Prev [Frostheim] Next [Jabberwock]

[rosylix]

hiiiiiii (^o^)

rosy pt 3 will be posted SOON‼️ maybe tomorrow or thurs/fri idk. definitely by the end of this week. keep ur eyes peeled. (^ー^)

[anattempttostudyharder-blog]

Day 2/50

Studied for 2 hours and 55 minutes

Studied Ophthalmology and Psychology (for a counselling course)

Applied to a few jobs

Applied for the MSRA exam today

//Finding it super hard to concentrate! I haven't studied for a few months so it's taking some time to find the groove. Also couldn't study yesterday because of long work hours.//

[slythdiaries]

23.11.23

Life is so stressful right now, I'm barely being able to keep anxiety at bay. There's just too many things in the day to do, and too much schedulung clash, work stress, personal obligations ugh

But there's some relief too. If you look for it. This is the most distinct tasting coffee I've ever had and God it saves my life huh

Plus these waffers omg🫦🤌😭

[that-angry-noldo]

ninejackrose. save me ninejackrose. save me

[pinofdnp]

save me dapg upload save me

[einsatzzz]

KHR Rarepair Week Day 4 - Murder Spree - Hibari & ???

Try to open my right hand and have a look? You'll find a crimson sky. If you see it, will you be shocked? The crimson sky is so beautiful, yet you never know. (empurple by harumaki gohan)

base ref here

[c-nan]

safari crashed in the middle of my exam (answers were saved thank god) but canvas recorded my grade as 0/100 so now i have to look at this until the professor fixes my grade 😭

[the---hermit]

08|06|2023

31/50 days of productivity

I have not felt this mix of tiredness and negativity in a while. I will not complain about it again. It's just a matter of fact. On positive news for today, a beloved friend sent some photos of happy cows that brought a lot of joy, and I found some yarn scraps so I have been filling my free time with chill podcasts and mindless crocheting with zero purpose.

Productivity:

(Finally) finished my outlout review of history of religions

Finishes reading the book summary that beloved anon sent me (thank you again you saved me)

Started writing a few helpful notes with the use of said summary

Continued listening to old episodes of the books unbound podcast

Self care:

Read first thing in the morning

Crochet to avoid looking at screens for even more time