#5.5k words in like 3 days is insane for me

[aureatelys]

lunch break

pairing: jesse/fem!reader genre: smut smut smut w.c.: 5.5k a/n: the first scene of 2x03 had me blacking out and then i wrote this in two days. this is my first time writing for jesse, pls be gentle and i hope you enjoy because i had so much fun writing this <3 ty for my dear lover for enabling me. you can also imagine either show or game jesse for this!

summary: You've been distracted by your boyfriend all morning. Jesse knows you better than you expected.

c.w.: 18+ MDNI, porn no plot, post 2x02 but joel lives (!), established relationship, jesse is sexy and reader is horny for his arms, oral sex (f receiving), brief fingering, unprotected p in v sex (lets pretend birth control exists ok), fluff, no y/n

read below or on ao3 here <3

You’re starting to wonder if you’ve gone insane.

Jackson has been somber for the past several months—mourning all the losses after the walls were breached and focusing on rebuilding. The makeshift hospital was still as busy as ever, and every time word spread that another person had succumbed to their injuries, the weight that seemed to blanket over the town grew heavier, quieter.

Luckily, you hadn’t lost anybody you were particularly close with. Even then, you’re not sure if you would even have the time to mourn them with how hard the council was pushing any and all able-bodied people to help in the rebuild. Your body was sore and hands were covered in blisters as you helped carry logs of wood to the main street.

So, you’re not exactly sure why you’re about to start drooling, heart thudding in your chest and pulsing between your legs, as you watch Jesse lift a sledgehammer to pound a wooden pillar into the ground.

You stop in your tracks, arms aching despite the small bundle of wood you’re carrying, as you stare, absolutely transfixed.

Jesse always ran warm, warmer than you, so despite the chill in the spring air, he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that showcased his broad shoulders and thick arms. You watch as his muscles bulge with every lift of the sledgehammer, the prominent veins running along his forearms drawing your attention. The buttons of his shirt were undone, providing you a delicious peak of his chest, as if he was teasing you.

Sweat was already starting to form along his hairline, causing a few strands to start sticking to his skin. His pants were tight, unfairly hugging his hips, his thick thighs straining through the fabric. If you strain your ears hard enough, now able to discern the low cadence of his voice through a crowd, you could detect the quiet grunts with every lift of the sledgehammer.

You blame the fact that you both have been too busy with the repairs and Jesse being added to the council for the way molten heat begins to pool at your core, fingers twitching with the rampant desire to get your hands on him.

The only time you’ve been able to spend with Jesse lately was when he would crawl into your bed late at night, usually when you were already asleep. Sometimes you were able to wake up before he had to leave and would only have time to press your face into his chest, inhaling and memorizing his clean scent. Other times he’d already be gone, leaving a short and concise note but with a crooked little heart next to his name.

So you’re a little sexually frustrated, okay?

“You alright?”

You startle out of your thoughts, tearing your gaze away from your boyfriend continuing to grunt extremely inappropriately, to Tommy sitting on the sidelines while he waited for his turn.

He’s watching you with a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips despite the weariness physically weighing on his shoulders.

Tommy’s nice, always has been, and seemed to be around you more lately after he found out you and Jesse were a thing. You’re not exactly sure why, but you had found yourself spending more time with him and Maria, Ellie, and even Joel. You were starting to feel like you had an actual group of people that cared about you.

His question seems to have caught Jesse’s attention. He stops working, resting the sledgehammer onto the ground and leaning against it, raising an eyebrow at you.

Jesse’s protective, always has been, but even moreso in the past several weeks. He says it’s because he knows you and how you’re a little reckless, impulsive, but you know that’s not entirely true.

You feel heat crawl up your neck at being caught ogling, and you don’t even bother to tiptoe around Tommy like you know other people have been doing after Joel’s near-death experience when you mutter a “shut up” and stalk away.

You hear Tommy laugh. The sound makes you smile, your shoulders loosening up because he’s been so stressed lately with the rebuild and worrying about Joel still in the hospital.

You ignore the weight of Jesse’s gaze digging into your back.

-

You’re unfortunately tasked with clearing out some additional rubble from a nearby building, which means your entire morning is spent with Jesse’s grunting and groaning within earshot as he worked only several feet away.

It’s a cruel form of torture, and you almost drop at least 2 pieces of concrete on your feet because you were too enraptured by the way you could see his muscles shift underneath his shirt.

By the time your group breaks for lunch, you’re shifting uncomfortably due to the wetness gathering in your panties and brushing against your thighs. The ache in your shoulders and hips pales in comparison to the ache in your core as Jesse sidles up next to you silently.

“Ready?” he asks, slightly out of breath and brushing his hair away from his forehead with his wrist. He’s so hot, it’s really unfair.

It was Jesse’s suggestion to take a lunch together whenever you could if he wasn’t busy. Your heart had thumped an erratic and concerning pace when he brought it up, his voice low and tinged with an endearing sort of bashfulness.

It had taken you awhile but you’ve come to find out that Jesse was more affectionate in private than in public. He liked to spend time with you, enjoyed being in your presence and sitting in silence. He didn’t have much dating experience besides Dina, who often took the reins in their relationship, so him making an effort to make time for you despite his busy schedule was new to the both of you.

“Yep,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the rasp in your voice, and steps in time with him as you head to your house only a couple blocks away.

Jesse has only been able to join you for lunch a handful of times, often having to give you a regretful smile before being pulled away for an emergency council meeting or to help another person on the other side of town. You didn’t mind, you knew he was busy, knew that this was what to be expected after he had told you that night that he was talking to Maria about being added to the council.

You admired him and his tenacity for wanting to help the people of Jackson. He was undoubtedly the most responsible person in your age group and it only made sense that he got added since he was friendly, even had a golden boy reputation.

You knew that he couldn’t talk about what happened during their meetings, even to you, and you honestly didn’t have much to talk about besides the fact that your neighbor’s dog slept on your porch last night.

So you two walked in comfortable silence, his bare arm brushing against your sleeve every few paces. Even through your multiple layers, the warmth of him still bled through the sweaters and was doing nothing to quell the building heat underneath your skin. The smell of him and his sweat, mixing with the smoky burning of wood nearby, was starting to make you feel faint.

By the time you two make it to your house, you were one second away from falling to your knees and scrambling to unbuckle his belt to tug his pants down and take him in your mouth.

It’s when the front door closes behind you when Jesse asks “You okay?”

You’re toeing off your boots and tugging off your jacket to throw over the rusty coatrack by the door before making your way to the kitchen, already preoccupied by trying to remember what sandwich ingredients you could scrounge together. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seemed distracted today.”

You have no idea. “I’m just tired today.”

Jesse hums, and you think you’re off the hook and can focus on rushing to make a sandwich because Tommy does not give you guys enough time for lunch, when he’s suddenly pressing up against you, his large hands resting on your hips and mouth inches from your ear as he mutters “So that’s why you kept staring at me today? Because you were distracted?”

You huff out a laugh, setting down your butter knife, because you’re honestly not surprised. Jesse was possibly the most perceptive person you knew, of course he would notice that you were ogling him all morning. You knew at this point, there was no harm in hiding anymore.

You lean back into his chest, sturdy and warm, as he noses at the nape of your neck. “And what if I was?”

“Just making sure.” And then he’s spinning you around until the edge of the counter digs into the small of your back and pressing his mouth to yours.

He’s gentle, always gentle, his hands skimming up your sides reverently, as if worried you were about to disappear into thin air. His lips are unbearably soft, maybe a little chapped, as you kiss him back and part your lips with a sigh. He tastes like the stale coffee from this morning and it’s the best thing you’ve had all day.

You loop your arms around his broad shoulders, tugging him closer until the hard line of his body was pressed up against yours. You card your fingers through the tufts of hair at the nape of his neck, humming at the sensation of being trapped by his body, and experimentally tug.

Jesse lets out a low groan, muffled against your mouth, and then his large hands slide down to your ass to squeeze once before suddenly lifting you up.

You squeal against his lips, causing him to smile, and your legs instinctually come to wrap around his waist despite already being seated on the counter. The coldness seeping through your jeans shocks you and provides a delicious contrast with Jesse’s heated body against yours.

When you separate from each other, you’re panting into each other’s open mouths. Jesse leans his forehead against yours, hands on your thighs, and from this proximity, you’re mesmerized by the fan of his eyelashes against his cheekbones as he catches his breath and the way his hair tickled your face.

When he opens his eyes to peer into yours, your breath gets stuck in your throat along with something else you can’t name at his hungry gaze, eyes dark and pupils wide.

Jesse has always been able to say so much with just his eyes; a sharp warning that Maria was on her way to give you a stern talking to, warm fondness when you were telling him about what you bartered for today at the market, or primal desire whenever you stripped and crawled into bed with him.

“Are you okay with skipping lunch today?” he asks, voice a low timbre that sends a shiver running down your spine. His hands, rough with the day’s work, knead your thighs through your jeans, and the silent strength in his thick fingers and the flex of the muscles in his biceps has you licking your lips. You could feel the heat of his cock, hard and confined in his jeans, against your inner thigh.

“Are you going to eat something else?”

Jesse rolls his eyes, an exasperated smile tugging at his lips that he tries to hide. It has you beaming. He squeezes your inner thighs a bit harder, as if in a warning. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“Yeah, but you love me,” you say, before you could think better of it.

It’s slight, but you can tell he pauses by the way his breath catches and his hands falter. A rush of panic rises up your throat and you say, as nonchalantly as you could, “As long as you sneak me something from the food hall later?”

You hope he can’t tell that you’re holding your breath, nearly praying that he doesn’t point out your slip up.

His eyes soften, causing a sudden weakness in your chest, before he’s reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Deal.”

You give him a shaky smile. You know he sees right through you.

But it doesn’t matter, because he’s leaning in to kiss you again, harder, rougher, as if he can’t find the words he wants to say and lets his desire for you to do the talking for him.

You melt into him, you always do, and when you press your palm against his chest to feel the steady rhythm of his heart, you’ve never felt so safe in your entire life.

“I guess we better hurry up then,” he whispers, giving you a slight smirk, before his hands expertly unbuttons your jeans, tugs down the zipper, and then helps you tug them down all the way off your legs.

You nod rapidly, causing him to chuckle breathily. You reach out for him to grab at his arms, pulling him in to kiss you again.

He obliges, because he always does when you peer up at him with glazed over eyes, as if he’s already fucked you.

You hum against his mouth, the ache in your pussy starting to become unbearable. You’re barely aware of his hands running down your bare thighs, causing goosebumps to rise, before he’s lifting your legs up by the knees to prop your feet up on the counter.

The new position has you spread open and exposed, dimly aware of the way you could feel your panties sticking to your pussy. You’re expecting him to rub his thick fingers alongside your seam through the fabric, coaxing a breathy whimper from your lips, before tugging it aside to thrust a finger inside of your soaking entrance.

You don’t expect him to pull away. You definitely don’t expect him to fall to his knees, face achingly close to your center, while his hands squeeze at the flesh of your thighs before prying them apart.

“Oh,” you exhale, eyes wide, as your hands scramble to the dull edge of the counter as your mind reels at the heady image of Jesse, sweet and courteous, on his knees. His face inches from your pussy.

“Fuck, baby, you’re already so wet,” he whispers, as if in awe. His right hand comes to trace the edge of your panties, a plain baby blue color, while he stares unblinkingly at the definite wet spot at the center.

“I was just kidding, you don’t actually have to—”

“I want to,” he says, and when he looks up at you, your chest aches at the tender affection clear on his face. “Is that okay?”

And it’s not like he hasn’t gone down on you before. In fact, it seems like he tries to eat you out any chance he got, which you were definitely not complaining about. You still shivered when you thought about the first time he ate you out, the first time you ever came from another man’s mouth on you, and how your thighs trembled as you squeezed around his head. You swear you had thought you died and gone to heaven.

Now, however…

“We’ve just had a long morning; you know I sweat a lot…” you trail off. It sounds weak, even to your own ears.

Another exasperated sigh, though this time Jesse doesn’t even bother hiding the fond smile. “You know I don’t care about that.”

But he waits. He stays on his knees, thumbs tracing comforting and distracting circles against your inner thighs, and he just waits. For your permission.

You don’t think your heart can swell any further before it’s bound to burst. “Okay.”

Jesse’s smile grows, making him look utterly sweet and boyish, before leaning in to press an open-mouthed kiss on your inner thigh, and then another, and then another.

“Don’t worry,” he mumbles, as his kisses begin moving inwards to your aching cunt.

You exhale unsteadily, thighs already starting to shake from holding this position and the sensation of his mouth on you. The scratch of his slightly chapped lips, the damp kisses he leaves that cool as soon as he moves to the next inch of skin, and his hands that have moved to your thighs and taking some of your weight, has you nearly begging for him to hurry up.

As if he can read your mind, he pauses, his mouth hovering over the crotch of your panties that have undoubtedly melded to your pussy.

“Besides,” Jesse whispers, and the barest brush of his lips against the fabric has you shivering. You resist the urge to card your fingers through his hair to tug his face closer. “I have to take care of my girl, right?”

And then he’s pressing his open mouth to your cunt, deliberately nowhere close to your clit, but the action still wretches a gasp out of you. His mouth and his breath are hot as he takes his time, as if warming you up despite the fact that you two do not have enough time for this.

But he just looks so pretty, you think as you glance down at him. His eyes were shut, savoring you, brow relaxed as if he wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world besides between your thighs.

“Jesse..” you sigh, slightly frustrated, as you thread your fingers through his hair to push out of his face. Your hips jolt forward, impatient.

He opens his eyes at that and the heat in his expression has you wanting to scoot forward on the counter until your ass was hanging off, if only to get closer to him. He cocks his eyebrow at you and mutters something suspiciously like you’re lucky that I like you so much.

Before you could question him, he’s parting his lips and then laving his tongue over you, flat and over your clit through the fabric of your panties.

You let out a soft moan, your hand on his hair tightening. The action causes Jesse to groan, muffled between your thighs, and then he’s diving in fully, pressing sloppy wet kisses against your core.

It’s heavenly, especially after not being touched for several weeks, but it’s still not enough as your hips shift forward to chase the feeling of his warm mouth.

His hands on your thighs tighten, another warning, before he’s finally dipping his thumb into the crotch of your panties to pull it aside and exposing your soaking cunt to him.

You don’t even have time to gasp at the rush of cool air against your warm skin before his mouth is on you again, tongue parting your puffy folds as he licks a stripe up your seam.

A shaky moan falls from your lips, sheer ecstasy at finally being touched without some stupid fabric in the way dripping into your veins and making you drop your head back. Your thighs begin to shake from where you still have your feet propped up on the counter, spreading you open further.

Jesse has always taken his time with you, steady and focused and knowing exactly what to do to have you unraveling in his mouth. He gathers the wetness increasingly dripping from your entrance, tasting you and groaning, spurring him on even further to press his face harder against your cunt. His strong nose prods at your clit and it has you choking on a gasp as heat begins to curl up your spine.

He traces along your folds with a firm tongue, the lewd noises from his mouth on you filling your ears, before circling deliberately around your clit.

Your mouth drops open, eyes rolling back, and you blame the fact that it’s been way too long since you’ve had his mouth on you for the way your orgasm rapidly approaches.

“Fuck, Jesse,” you gasp, head lolling over your shoulder as you stare, glassy-eyed, as he meets your gaze from where he’s kneeling in your fucking kitchen with his mouth on your pussy. “I’m—"

He closes his eyes and presses his face further against your core, tongue flicking your clit back and forth at a relentless pace, while one of his hands leaves your thighs to pull your folds apart and circle at your entrance. He immediately pushes it in, easily despite how thick his fingers were due to how slick you were, and the pressure has you letting out a high-pitched whine.

Your thighs were absolutely aching, feet starting to slip from the sweat forming all over your body and getting onto the counter, so you finally let your legs fall forward to place your thighs on his wide shoulders.

Jesse takes it in stride, as he does most things, and begins to suck earnestly at your clit while his finger thrusts into you, working and stretching you open so you were ready for his cock.

The thought of him fucking you, bending you over in the open air of the kitchen, has you squeezing your thighs around Jesse’s head and coming hard into his mouth. You writhe on the counter, hips bucking, but his firm grip on your thigh keeps you steady as he works you through it, tongue gentler as he runs it flat against your clit.

He doesn’t let up, that asshole, when your thighs start twitching around his head from the overstimulation. You let out a strangled noise, brain feeling foggy, as you tug at his hair to pull him up and away from your spent pussy.

When he’s face to face with you, the sight of your slick covering the entire bottom half of his face has you clenching around his finger where he still has it slowly fucking in and out of you. His eyes are tender, if not a little wild, and there’s an unbearably sexy smirk on his swollen lips, his tongue coming out to swipe around his mouth. As if he couldn’t get enough of you.

You’re surging forward, capturing his lips with yours, and the taste of yourself on his tongue has you moaning into his mouth, wrapping your thighs around his hips to pull him closer against you.

He eagerly reciprocates, tongue swiping in your mouth while he ruts against your inner thigh. You could feel the heat of his cock and how hard he was through his jeans, and you’re sure if you looked down, you’d be able to spot where his precum has bled through the fabric.

He begins to trail kisses alongside your jawline until he’s nipping at the spot underneath your ear that has your knees weak. Your own slick on his face, smearing against your cheeks, has your face heating up. “Ready to take my cock, baby?”

“God, yes.” And you’re just about to drop down off the counter so you could bend over and wag your bare ass in his face, before he stops you with a firm hand on your thigh.

Before you could ask him, he’s tugging you forward until your ass was hanging off the counter and begins unbuckling his belt. His eyes find yours, ablaze with hunger, as he rasps in a low voice, “I want to see you.”

Your heart thuds painfully in your chest. You don’t know what to say, what you could say, so you don’t say anything at all and instead lift the hem of your shirt and off, tossing it haphazardly to the floor.

Jesse groans at that, eyes immediately drawn to your breasts and the way your nipples instantly pebble in the cold air. He mutters an expletive before dropping his head to wrap his plush lips around one, as if he couldn’t help himself.

You let out a soft sigh, arousal already starting to flare up so soon after you came in his mouth, and you bring your arms to wrap around his shoulders, your knees to wrap around his waist. He’s so fucking broad, strong, unbearably handsome, yet his warm mouth on you is gentle as he swirls his tongue around your nipple.

He releases your swollen bud with a lewd pop, sitting up straighter so he could lean his forehead against yours as he shoves his jeans and briefs down until they bunch up around his thighs. His cock springs free, slapping against his black shirt and leaving a trail of sticky precum. Your mouth waters when he wraps a hand around the base of his cock, head flushed a pretty pink that was begging to be tasted.

He swipes the head between your folds, smearing his precum around and mixing with your slick that was steadily leaking out of you, before notching at your entrance and glancing up at you. You give him a slight nod, barely a tilt of your chin, and then he’s pushing into you slowly.

The stretch is immediate, his finger thick but not thick enough, and it’s bordering on too much despite how needy you felt, nearly aching for his cock. Your hands grip his shoulders, his muscles tensing a small comfort as he strains not to immediately fuck into you.

“Fuck,” Jesse groans, once he’s buried all the way inside of you. “Been thinking about this pussy all day.”

You let out a pathetic whine, hoping he would get the message you were trying to convey that you were running out of time but also he needed to hurry up and fuck you already.

“I know, I know,” he mutters, tone nearly condescending enough that had you clenching around him. He huffs a laugh at that, a hand coming to rest at the small of your back where the counter was digging into you and hikes your legs up higher on his hips.

The new angle has his cock pushing in deeper, and the low, drawn-out groan that you emit takes you by surprise.

“There she is,” he coos. He draws his hips back, carefully, and then he’s fucking back into you hard, punching a gasp out of your chest.

He finally starts a steady pace, one that has your body nearly going limp in his arms and your eyes rolling back in your head. The flesh of his skin slapping against yours and the lewd noises of your soaked cunt swallowing his cock with each thrust fills your ears, broken with Jesse’s heavy grunts.

You’re not even aware of the depraved sounds you were making—breathy whines and strangled noises each time he plunges into you, filling you up over and over again.

“Fuck, your pussy feels so,” he grinds into you, barely swiveling his hips yet causing you to gasp wetly as your hand comes down to claw at his chest. “Fucking good.”

He shuffles closer to you, his hips flush against the back of your thighs, and you thank God that you conveniently moved into an old house with low counters as he hovers over you, broad and solid.

Jesse’s hair continuously falls into his eyes, causing him to swipe at it several times in annoyance. When you follow his gaze, you notice with a thrill that he’s staring at where your bodies meet, and you don’t blame him.

The sight of his cock, shiny with your slick, as he continued to pump into you, your walls clenching and unclenching with every thrust, was heady. Filthy, even. It has your skin growing hot, pressure tightly building again despite feeling like you didn’t have the brain capacity to come again.

The hem of his shirt flutters in your eyeline and Jesse swiftly tugs at it until the fabric is bunched around underneath his armpits, exposing his abs and the way they flexed every time his hips snapped against you.

You lick your lips as your hand drops from where you were clutching at the fabric of his shirt to skim along his abs, sensing the way his muscles shifted and tightened.

God, was he sexy. Broad chest, strong arms, and a thick cock that he knew how to use that had you nearly drooling every time he walked by? You’re not sure how you got so fucking lucky.

“Always take my cock so good, baby,” he grunts, eyes meeting yours before dropping down to the way your tits were bouncing with each thrust. His free hand comes to grope at one of your breasts, squeezing and thumbing at your nipple, and drinking in the way you arch your back into his touch as best as you could with his other hand still protecting your back.

“Jesse, fuck—” you gasp as he picks up a desperate pace. You could tell he was close, most likely been on the brink as soon as he pushed himself inside of you and felt your walls clench around him, but he was holding back. Waiting for you.

His hand drops from your breast to snake in between your legs, causing your breath to get caught in your chest. The steady amount of slick dripping from you made his thumb glide easily in between your folds before circling precisely around your clit.

It’s nearly instantaneous the way your body locks up, thighs tightening from where they’re still hitched around his hips and your hand stilling where you were lightly tracing the contours of his stomach. Your mouth falls open, eyes glassy as you meet Jesse’s.

He curses and then he’s maneuvering you closer, grabbing a hold of your thighs and pushing them back until your knees were pressed into your chest. If possible, his cock slides in deeper, the weight of him as he hovers you becoming heavier. It’s all so fucking good, you’re nearly dizzy from how fast that familiar tightness begins to coil in the pit of your stomach.

“I always take care of my girl, don’t I, baby?” he pants into your open mouth, face merely inches away from yours. He’s relentless, fucking you and splitting you open over and over, you have no choice but to take it.

“Yes, yes—” you gasp, mind going foggy. Your arms come up to wrap around the back of your knees, hand grasping weakly at his forearm. You were so fucking close.

“That’s it, come on,” he whispers raggedly. The low timbre of his voice, smooth and breathless, and the intensity of his gaze melts into you. “That’s my pretty girl.”

Something cold and sharp was digging into your lower back, and when you blink down, you notice that Jesse’s jeans were still bunched around his thighs. The sight of him still in his clothes while you were completely bare and exposed on your kitchen counter had squeezing your eyes shut, fire burning underneath your skin.

You cry out as your orgasm finally hits you with a particular hard brush of his thumb against your clit. You feel yourself clench around him, causing him to bite out a curse, as your hips stutter against his and your thighs tremble.

That’s all that Jesse needs as his thrusts falter, turning more erratic before he’s burying his face into your neck, jerking forward and coming into you with a low, broken groan. His cock twitches inside of you, making you let out a whimper as you can feel his hot come fill you up and threaten to drip out of your aching pussy.

Both of you lay there for a moment, catching your breaths, before Jesse tilts his head to brush his lips against your jawline. Your hair flutters with every exhale. “Are you okay?”

You nod, still feeling dazed, as your throat swallows from how dry it was. “Never better.”

“Good.” He snakes his arms around you so you’re sitting up alongside him when he leans back, placing you gently until you were sitting with your bare ass on the counter.

When he steps back, hissing as his softening cock slides out of you, you let out a soft moan at the sudden emptiness. He quickly leans over you to grab a fresh dishrag, tenderly cleaning you up before tossing the rag to the side.

When you blink up at him, there’s a slight flush to his neck, sweat gathering at his hairline. He shakes out his hand that was placed behind you, shielding you from the sharp edge of the countertop, and you feel a surge of affection when you notice the red lines adorning the top of his hand.

You take his hand in yours to rub at, the roughness of his skin contrasting against yours. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jesse leans in, nosing at your hairline before pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “I said I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”

You flush at the words, feeling a sudden spark of arousal between your thighs.

Jesse feels the way you attempt to clench your thighs together, still on either side of his hips, and he laughs softly. He steps back to get dressed, easily, since he literally only needed to pull up his pants, however you stay rooted to the spot, taking the opportunity to admire him.

When he notices you’re making no move to get dressed, he rolls his eyes fondly. He stretches a hand out to you, helping you jump down from the countertop but also because he knew how weak in the legs you get after he fucks your brains out. And he’s right, as you nearly plant face first onto the floor when your knees buckle as soon as you step down.

Of course he catches you with a hand around your waist, his thick fingers warm against your skin. He tugs you in close, nearly tucking you into his chest, and the fabric of his clothes against your bare skin causes you to shiver. He starts to rub his hand up and down your side, naturally assuming you were cold.

Handsome, strong, protective, and affectionate. You’re going to keep him forever.

“Come on you, I still have to get you something from the mess hall.”

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

Secrets (2)

Pairings: Wanda X Reader, Natasha X Reader

This fic is inspired by the song Secret by the Pierces and the HBO Max show Love and Death. I recommend listening to the song before reading but it's not necessary 

Warnings/Tags: 18+ Smut, Fingering, Oral sex, Face sitting, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough sex, Dirty talk, Dark Themes Possessive behaviour, Stalking, masturbation, cheating.

Please consider these warnings before reading.

Chapter 2- Oh Detka, My Beautiful Girl (5.5k words)

Other Chapters- 1, 3, 4, 5

Oh Detka, My Beautiful Girl

Why do you smile like you've been told a secret?

Now you're telling lies 'cause you have sworn to keep it

But no one keeps a secret

No one keeps a secret

With a nervous feeling consuming your entire body, you took a deep breath as you stood awkwardly outside the motel room, trying to build up the courage to knock on the door.

It had been three whole days since you agreed to meet Wanda, her arranging everything and giving you the address and room number that she had booked. To say you hadn't stressed or dreamed about this moment would have been a complete lie- you hadn't been able to stop. You practically counted down the minutes until you would be in the room with her, doing whatever she wanted you to do.

Taking one last anxious breath, as you had been standing there a while, you knocked on the door, anticipation building with every second you were left waiting outside. The sound of your heart beating wildly in your chest, pounding against your rib cage, filled your ears until the door swiftly opened, revealing her.

Wanda's face softened at your tense and shy form, her striking eyes contrasting the comforting smile on her face as they darkened, lust and desire swirling dangerously in the green pools of her eyes. A predatory smirk also appeared on her face, only for a split second, before fading back into the soft and gentle smile, encouraging you to come in.

"Take a seat Detka," her tone low, accent slipping into her words as she waits for you to do as she says. It filled her with excitement at how obedient you were, even at the simplest of things such as sitting in the seat she stood behind.

A shaky breath fell from your lips as her hands slid across your shoulders, dropping slightly lower to graze your collarbones before coming back up, one hand resting on the underside of your jaw and tilting your head back against her stomach. Her eyes were fixated on you, the way you shifted in your seat under her gaze causing her to smile down, attempting to ease your nerves.

She was going to show you how much you needed her, how you would only ever need her. Her smile twitched a little, trying to contain her thoughts as she knew she couldn't get carried away. Not just yet. You would have to adjust to her plans of stealing you away so she would have to be patient as to not scare you off.

Oh Detka, you'll soon be mine.

"Don't be nervous Dorogaya," she murmurs, the tone condescending as she lets her fingers brush your jawline. "You know I'd never let anything happen to you," her words easing the worry and doubt as you peered up at her, submission evident on your face as you succumbed to her wishes.

See? You need me Detka. I can get rid of all the negative thoughts.

"That's it," she whispers when you keep your gaze on her, not letting it flicker away to the wall behind her. "Now Detka, how this goes is up to you," she explains, letting your head go and spinning the chair around so you were facing her, your brows furrowing at her words.

"What?" you ask, voice wavering as arousal starts to build between your legs, that sultry look in her eyes driving you insane.

"Well, I can do two things Detka," a sinister smirk pulling at her lips as she lowers her body, letting her hands rest on each armrest while letting her lips slowly inch closer to yours, revelling in how your eyes are drawn to her lips. "I can fuck you slowly, intimately and worship this beautiful body of yours," her hand cups your cheek, her thumb moving to your lips, gently swiping across before dragging it down and releasing it, watching how the blush on your cheeks darken, the way your legs try and squeeze together a little to ease the unbearable heat.

"Or, I can fuck you how we both know you want to be fucked," her tone was teasing, intimidating. A chuckle followed, low and mocking, "Like my little whore."

"Please," you practically whimper, eyes pleading with her. You think it's pathetic that you're this desperate at just her words but Wanda on the other hand, she loves it.

"Shh Detka," she coos mockingly, letting her index finger slide against your lips before pushing in, making you suck on her finger. You feel humiliated letting her push her finger in further as well as another but fuck, it felt so good to please her like this.

So obedient... So good for me...Fuck, you're mine to ruin.

"I'm going to give you everything you want," she slides her fingers out, letting her lips ghost yours while her hands make their way to the collar of your shirt, pulling you a little closer. "And I'm not going to be gentle," her lips crash to yours, a moan spilling from your lips at how hungry and passionate it is.

She drags you out of the chair, pushing you onto the bed and wasting no time in climbing onto your lap, her strong thighs straddling your waist. Your hands desperately try to roam her body, the pure desire to feel her body taking over, the need to fulfil your latest fantasies making you groan at how soft her body is.

"No touching, not yet," she pants out against your lips, a whine escaping you at her, in your opinion, cruel words. When your hands don't leave fast enough for her liking, she takes a hold on your hands and pins them above your head, forcing you to lay underneath her body. "Keep them there Detka, don't make me tell you again," she warns before her rough lips meet yours again, dragging out another pitiful noise while your hands clenched into fists, trying to listen to her command.

Her tongue slides into your mouth, swallowing the needy moan that escapes you while you put up no fight to dominate the kiss. She toys with you, pulling back from the kiss with a smirk plastered on her face, watching how you try to chase her lips, addicted to them.

"I'm going to take such good care of you," she purrs at the shell of your ear, her hands moving down to the hem of your shirt, sliding under and letting her nails dig in a little on your stomach, the pain mixing with pleasure. "My good girl," she whispers, hearing the faint whine that spills from you.

"Please," your tone is laced with desperation, your face flushed and eyes blown with lust, lips swollen from how ruthless her kisses were, "I need you."

You only need me.

"You need me?" she asks teasingly, her hair tickling your cheeks as her face hovers mere millimetres away from yours. Her fingers slide up higher, ghosting the underside of your bra before pulling out, moving her body to sit up. She practically tears your shirt off your body, letting out a pleased sigh at the sight of your exposed torso. "You can beg better than that Detka," she murmurs before rolling her hips softly against yours, your head lolling back at the feeling while her nails scratch down your stomach, making you sensitive to her touch.

"Please, I just need you!" you beg once more, "Please Wanda, it hurts, please," you're silenced by her lips, her chuckling into the kiss while her hands quickly unclip your bra, discarding it somewhere in the room.

Just me. Only me.

"I know, I know," she whispers in response, her fingers pinching and pulling your nipples, the sensation causing more arousal to pool between your thighs, a chorus of sinful noises to escape you. "I need you too Detka," she lets her mouth nibble on your earlobe, continuing to grind her hips against you, working you up as much as she could to torment you before continuing with her words, "Fuck, do you know how long I've wanted this? How many ways I've imagined fucking you?"

How many times I've watched that whore fuck you? Watched you from the window with your hand between your thighs?

A guttural moan is all you can respond with, your back arching into her touch, her mouth moving to kiss down your neck, careful not to leave marks despite how much she wants to claim you as hers. Her hips push down harder against you, a moan escaping her at the way her clit brushes against her jeans, your eyes widening at the sound. You stare up at her in awe; the noise intoxicating as you would do anything to hear that noise again.

"Detka," she groans out, the vibrations tickling the juncture of your neck as she continues to kiss her way down your body, her teeth scraping your skin earning a gasp. You can feel the smug smile on her face against your collar bone as she peppers light kisses, finally moving down to your chest.

Her hips move off yours, sliding her body in between your spread legs while her hands move down to unfasten your jeans. Her fingers were deft, easily sliding the material down your legs before settling back into her position, letting her mouth take a breast into her mouth.

"Fuck Wanda," you moan out when her tongue skilfully swipes over your hardened nipple, sucking on it gently to have you arch your back once more, her fingers sliding under the waist band of your panties. "Oh shit," your hands grasp the sheets next to you when she lets her teeth scrape ever so gently over your sensitive nipple, peering up at you with a predatory look before switching to the other breast, lavishing it with the same amount of attention.

Oh Detka, what a mess between your legs. I'll always help you with this mess.

"You're so wet," she mutters against you, moving back up your body so she could crash her lips back to yours, needing to feel you moaning into her mouth again. It messy but fuck is it hot, her finger moving to slide your panties to the side, not having the patience to try and slide the fabric down your legs. She needed to be inside you. Now.

"You're so tight," she groans into your mouth, the way you were clamping down against her finger, hips rocking against her hand as you pathetically tried to ease the arousal that had built between your thighs. "Fuck, you've wanted this for a long time too, haven't you?" You're lost in the pleasure of her finger thrusting in and out of you, her pace relentless as she has one goal on her mind- she wants to fuck you so hard you forget everything about that whore.

"Yes," you pant out, lost for breath as she's fucking you like it's the last time, "Since I first met you."

"Fuck," she sighs in response, kissing you hard. "You're mine now," she rasps out, biting down on your lip and dragging it back before releasing it, staring into your eyes with nothing but hunger. "All mine," she sighs out before sliding another long, slender digit inside you, curling it beautifully against your g-spot.

Mine.

"Fuck!" you practically scream, your hips frantically moving against her hand. "Please, Wanda," you chant as your orgasm nears, tears starting to prick in the corner of your eyes at the overwhelming pleasurable feeling as she keeps you right on the edge.

"Oh, what's wrong Detka?" she whispers in a condescending tone, looking into your eyes that desperately plead with her to let you come. You whimper in response, a borderline evil laugh leaving her lips, "Do you need more?" Your head nods swiftly, your knuckles turning white due to your death grip on the sheets. "So greedy," she mumbles against your lips, kissing them as it if were necessary to live, continuing to fuck you mercilessly with her fingers before placing one final kiss on your lips, travelling down your body.

"Oh," Your mouth parts, a broken moan ripped from the back of your throat when her mouth sucks on your clit, her tongue swiping over the sensitive bundle of nerves, almost throwing you straight over the edge. Fuck, she was everything you dreamed of and more.

When she moans into your core at the taste of you, the coil snaps within you. Your legs clamp around her head, your hands reaching down to her hair as you come against her, hips desperately bucking against her face as a string of low moans are torn out of you. Your body practically slumps against the mattress, your body never orgasming so hard before. Wanda spreads your legs open and stares up at you with a deadly look in her eyes. Oh fuck.

You're going to regret that Detka.

She crawls up your body like a predator hunting its prey, her gaze unwavering as you nervously stare up at her.

"Did I say you could come?" Her tone is nothing but dominant, hand moving to your throat, applying a firm amount of pressure, eyes gauging your reaction before squeezing a little harder, feeling the groan that leaves you at her actions.

Fuck you look so pretty with my hand wrapped around your throat.

"No," your voice is small as you realise your mistake, the placement of her hand instantly turning you on again, despite how tired your body was.

"Then why did you think you could come just then?" she asks, treating you as if you were just some dumb little whore incapable of listening to her. You wanted to show her you could listen. You'd be a good girl for her.

"I'm sorry," your voice laced with regret for disobeying her, "Please let me make it up to you. Please, I'll do anything." you beg her, the smile on her face turning wicked.

Anything?

"You want to make it up to me?" she husks out, her teeth biting down on her lower lip as she stares down into your sorrowful eyes.

"Yes," the word leaves your lips without any hesitation. "Anything."

"Stay there," she commands and you don't dare challenge her, remaining on the bed as she stands next to it, her hands toying with the hem of her shirt. "Anything I want?" Her tone contains a teasing hint to it, her hands pulling her shirt over her head to reveal her bra-covered chest. The black lace falls from her body quickly, her patience running thin as she's just as turned on as you are, revealing her breasts.

Perfection is the only word that comes to mind when she reveals her body to you once more, the image of her through the window haunting all your thoughts prior to this meeting.

She seems to give up on her plan of strip teasing you, shrugging her remaining clothes off in record time before climbing back on top of your body. You could see the wetness between her thighs, glistening in the light as she moved her fingers to swipe through her dripping folds, moaning at the small touch.

"I'm going to use this pretty face of yours however I want," she simply smirks down at you, turning around so her hands could move down your body, ready to punish you for not listening. "And you're going to be a good girl and not come until I say so, isn't that right?" she asks while hovering her core over your mouth, your eyes glued to the slick dripping down her inner thighs, covered in her arousal.

Don't test my patience Detka.

"Isn't that right?" Her hand reaches behind to give a tug on your hair, a small whimper escaping you.

"Yes."

"Yes what?" She lets her hands move to near your core, nails scratching your inner thighs.

"Yes, I won't come until you let me," you sigh out, a satisfied look engraved onto her face.

"Good girl," she praises before lowering her hips, sitting on your face. Your tongue moves as best as it can to lick at her clit, your hands hesitantly going to hold her hips softly. When she doesn't say anything, you deem it's ok and continue trying to make it up to her, hands resting on her soft skin.

Your tongue slides through her arousal, a deep groan escaping you at the taste of her, your brain fogged with the thought of her. You would argue this, this animalistic desperation consuming her as she ruts against your face, is better than any release you could imagine. The moans that spill from her lips, the sound muffled by her thighs tightly wrapped around your head, as she grinds and grinds and grinds against your face unabashedly, it's the only thing you'll ever need.

"Fuck, that's it Detka, just like that," she moans out wantonly, her fingers finally making contact with your core, her other hand bracing herself on your thigh, nails leaving small crescent marks.

You moan into her core, hips twitching as you slide your tongue inside her, groaning at the way her walls clench hard around you.

When her fingers meet your soaked core, she isn't soft or gentle with you, thrusting two fingers straight inside you and encouraging you to fuck her harder.

You slide your tongue out, flattening it for her to ride on to which she does so beautifully. Back and forth, back and forth she pushes her hips, practically coating your face in her slick as she pounds her fingers into you, curling them to send pleasure crashing through your body.

You're close already and she knows it, still unrelenting with her brutal pace as she fucks you like she you're nothing but a toy, something for her to use whenever she wants.

"Don't you fucking dare come," she grits out when feeling your body tremble under her. You whimper and whine into her core, ignoring your pleas as she continues to move against you.

"I'm so close," she pants out and you refuse to move as her hips come to stop on your tongue, body shuddering against you. It's messy as she rolls against your face, her come dripping onto your tongue as she lets out a guttural moan, legs shaking against the side of your head.

"Fuck," she says in a heavy breath, lifting her hips off your face and looking down to see you covered in her arousal, an astonished look on your face at what just happened. "You did so good," she sighs out breathlessly, a glint of pride flickering in your eyes as you just did that. You just made her come that hard. "Come whenever you want Detka," she murmurs, moving her body so that her mouth was now at your core.

Her tongue licks a broad stripe up against your core, eyes rolling back when she sucks on your clit roughly, hands holding your legs open. You pant, moan, whimper and whine her name, body trembling under her touch as she drives you towards what you so desperately need and want. Wanda flicks her tongue against your clit, eyes peering up at you and watching how your muscles twitch at her actions, deciding she wanted to hear you scream.

Her pace is brutal, fingers sliding in with ease once more before pulling out and slamming back in, her mouth sucking on your clit while your back arches off the bed. You scream just like she wanted, the lewd noise ripped from the back of your throat as your hands rushed down to grab her hair. She lets it slide, just this once, as she can feel you spasming around her fingers, your come flooding around them and coating them as another guttural noise is torn out of you, body shaking with pleasure.

"Wanda," you whimper when it becomes too much, her reluctantly leaving you, giving you one last lick to make you twitch before crawling up your body and kissing you softly. She notices the tears that have spilt down your cheeks, another whimper leaving you at her tenderness.

"Oh Detka, my beautiful girl," she whispers, soothing you as you move into her embrace, body overstimulated and overwhelmed by everything. "I've got you, I'm all you need," she coos, letting you calm down in her arms, pressing a featherlight kiss to your forehead before tilting her head down to look at your closed eyes, a dangerous smirk pulling at her lips.

I'm all you'll ever need.

***

The sound of the front door opening and closing is unknown to you, too consumed in your thoughts as you stare at the ink on the pages of your book. You have read this paragraph at least four times, not once has it comprehended in your mind as it refuses to focus on anything but Wanda.

You're taken back to your morning with her, remembering the way she comforted you after your....activities, most likely leaving you to sleep as your body craved it. A subconscious smile sneaks onto your face when recalling her words 'Oh Detka, my beautiful girl, I've got you.'

"What are you smiling at?" Natasha chuckles while walking into the living room, an ethereal look to her as she brushes her red hair back with her hand, a few strands falling and framing her face. You're surprised by her voice, eyes widening and a blush forming on your cheeks at what you were actually thinking about, shrugging your shoulders to dismiss her.

"Oh nothing," you lie, surprised by how you didn't seem to feel as guilty as you thought you would. Of course there was a pang of guilt that flooded through your body but you just thought about how amazing your time with the older woman was, repeating her words of 'You know I'd never let anything happen to you' to keep you grounded.

She assumes it was something in your book as you flip the page, teeth nibbling on your lower lip to stop the smile from stretching as your girlfriend moves within your home, most likely getting relaxed and comfortable after a long day of work.

When she returned, she noticed you had closed your book and switched the tv on, flicking between the different channels until you found something you liked.

"How was your day my love?" she asks while moving to sit on the sofa next to you, letting her head rest on your shoulder while her body presses into yours.

"Nothing special," you say lightly, leaving a random channel on and turning your attention to the woman next to you. "The bookstore was quiet today," technically, you weren't lying about your shop not being busy, having opened the shop in the afternoon for a couple of hours to see if anyone wanted to come in.

She hums in response, letting out a deep sigh as she cuddles further into your side, looking into your eyes with nothing but love.

"Fury wants me to go on another business trip," she whispers, knowing how much you hate it when she leaves. Natasha hates it too, not being too keen on being away from you for so long. "I have to leave tomorrow," your eyes widen at how soon, sadness filling you at the thought of being alone before someone else pops into your mind, the idea of Natasha leaving not being as annoying or disappointing as before.

"Tomorrow?" you say, shocked at how soon she would have to leave.

"I know it's not ideal love but it's a really big deal for us," she tries to explain to you the importance, pausing when you interrupt her.

"It's ok Nat," your tone genuine as you whisper to her, moving your body so you could cup her cheeks and look into her emerald eyes. "I know how much you love your job so, if it's important, then it's ok if you need to go."

"I don't want to go sometimes though," she grumbles, hiding her face in your neck as she moves forwards, swinging her legs over yours as she sits in your lap. "I'd rather be with you."

A soft chuckle spills from your lips when she starts to grumble about her co-worker Sam Wilson, she loved that man but oh does he annoy her sometimes. Spending the next few days with him compared to you was nothing but annoying to the redhead.

You just let her stay in your lap, your hands gliding up and down her back comfortingly as the stress flows from her body. Her hands wrap around your body as she relaxes in your embrace, a soft sigh spilling from her lips as she closes her eyes, savouring the peaceful atmosphere that had taken over the room.

It's moments like this where you appreciate each other. It's rare for Natasha to be on the receiving end like this of all the attention, but that's what makes it special to you. To her, she's just glad she has found someone to feel safe with, someone who loves her as much as she loves you.

If only she knew.

***

Zoning out, your eyes were transfixed on a random book sitting on the shelf, the spine of the book sticking out a little further than the others, needing to be pushed in a little. You would have gone to fix it but it seemed pointless as some other customer would most likely fix it for you or mess up the neat row of books again. Instead, you let your thoughts drift while a small old man slowly made his way around a shelf containing non-fiction books about trains, not too scared of him running off with a book without paying.

Natasha's departure this morning invaded your thoughts, the way she woke you up with soft kisses around your face to wake you up, making sure you wouldn't be late to open the book shop. When you opened your eyes, you chuckled at the stark contrast between you, her prestige and formal suit perfectly accentuating her toned body while you were sprawled out in bed, only wearing her shirt. She reluctantly said goodbye to you, having to catch a plane within the next few hours while you watched her leave from the window, waving to her car as she reversed out before catching Wanda's stare through the window.

Her hands were wrapped around a cup of coffee as she stood in her dressing gown, her head tilting curiously at you before leaving, presumably at the sound of her children.

You snapped back to reality when the sweet old man came up to the counter, presenting to you the book he had chosen. You offered him a kind smile, listening intently to what he was saying to you, sharing his interest in steam trains with you. You entertained him, smiling at how happy he was at talking to someone about his passion before bagging up his purchase and wishing him a good day. The bell at the door jingled when he left, leaving you all alone in the store once again to your thoughts.

They swiftly travelled towards your neighbour, planning on how you would ask to see her again as Natasha was out of town until Thursday. That gave you two days to see the other woman.

Coincidentally, the bell chimed once more, the woman you were just thinking of entering your store with a curious expression written on her face. You glanced at her every minute or so, watching as she casually strolled down each of the aisles, taking her time looking around your shop.

Wanda had watched you many times through the windows, sitting in the small little Eternals café across the road as she witnessed the events of your days, but she had never actually been inside. She let out a small laugh at the little decorations around the small shop, noticing how this place was just so you.

You're so cute, Dorogaya, so adorable.

Picking up the courage, you walked up to the older woman, clearing your throat nervously, planning on how to ask her to meet you in the motel again.

"Hi," was all you managed to say, her striking eyes staring right through you, a blush quickly forming on your cheeks. Images of your shared time together filtered through your mind, eyes darkening a little as she waited for you to continue. "I was, um, thinking that..."

That's it Dekta, come on, you can ask. Tell me you want to see me again.

"Well, Natasha has gone out of town for the next two days so I was wondering if maybe- if you're not busy- you wanted to meet at the motel again?" there was a clear timidness to your tone. Wanda simply smiled in response, moving closer to you with a teasing smirk toying at her lips.

You want me. Me, not her. Me.

"That sounds perfect Detka," she whispers lowly, her eyes flickering down to your lips. "I can't do tonight though," she notices the disappointment on your face, letting her hand cup your cheek softly.

Already so dependent on me...

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow Dorogaya, don't worry," she purrs, your breath hitching at her tone.

"Tomorrow," you sigh out in confirmation, biting your lip to hide your smile.

"Tomorrow." she repeats and you can already imagine the possible ways the night could go.

She soon starts to make her way around the shop again, not interested in buying anything as she only came in to see you. Before she leaves though, she walks up behind you as you restock a shelf, her body pressed into the back of yours. Her hand moves to your stomach, travelling lower while her mouth moves to your ear. "Don't even think about touching yourself tonight Detka," she rasps out, a breathy moan escaping you as she slides her hand under your dress, hand brushing against your panties. "This," she emphasises what she means by cupping your core, your heart beating wildly in your chest. "This is mine now, only I get to play with it," she kisses your neck sensually, smirking against the skin at the needy whine that escapes you, "Do you understand?"

"Yes," you sigh out, letting your head lean back against her body.

"Good girl," she praises and you love it when she calls you that. "I'll see you tomorrow Detka."

After that, her body slips away from yours, leaving you a mess against the wooden shelf. Alone and desperate for her touch.

***

After tucking in the twins, Wanda closed the door quietly, leaning against it and sighing. Her eyes fluttered closed, her body relaxing against the door as she could finally have some quiet time. Tommy decided that tonight was the perfect time to tease and annoy Billy, resulting in many arguments and a very fed up Wanda. She just wanted something to cheer her up.

The thought of you crossed her mind, her body naturally making its way to her room, standing in front of the window and looking for you. Your body tossed in the bed, a frustrated look on your face as you throw your head back in annoyance. Wanda's head tilted inquisitively, observing your form laying down. She enjoyed watching you alone as it was soothing to her, knowing your routine of what you would do when Natasha would leave. Wanda knew how you tended to care for yourself when she left, normally reaching into the nightstand to retrieve the red vibrator and letting yourself go but tonight you were conflicted.

Be a good girl Detka, don't make me punish you tomorrow.

Your head turned to the nightstand, staring at it longingly as Wanda assumed you wanted to ease the burning sensation between your legs. Her body walked closer to the window, wanting to get a better view of you as your mind desperately tried to make a choice of what to do.

Anger but also excitement flooded through her body when you reached into the draw, pulling out the familiar toy before shrugging your pyjama pants and panties off, letting your fingers run through your dripping folds.

Oh Dorogaya, all you had to do was listen.

Attentively, Wanda watched your head loll back against the soft sheets, your mouth parting into a moan when the toy met your core. You wasted no time in turning the settings up high, a feral and desperate desire to come seemingly taking over your body. Your back arched off the bed, free hand groping your chest through your thin t-shirt, Wanda's jaw clenching at the sight of you.

Her eyes widened when she read your lips, her name falling off them repeatedly as your hips bucked, legs shaking. Your eyes squeezed shut, mouth parting for a guttural moan as your body twitched, your orgasm quickly approaching causing arousal to pool between the older woman's thighs, her body craving to feel you against her again.

When your orgasm crashed through your body, a different name for Wanda was moaned out, your body shaking at the intensity of it while she just cursed under her breath.

Oh fuck.

A wave of arousal rushed through her at what you moaned, a sinister plan forming in her head of how she was going to punish you for your bad behaviour. 

Mommy will teach you how to behave Detka. 

---

I hope you enjoyed :)

Please leave any thoughts/comments/votes <3 I love reading all your comments! 

AO3- LoveIsAnImaginaryDagger

Wattpad- LovePersevering2

[eilinelsghost]

2024 Fic Roundup

Thank you to @thelordofgifs for the tag!

Total Words Published at end of year: 85,785

Fandoms: only ever Silm so far

Most kudos: In Memory to Dwell (G, 5.5k, Finrod & Finarfin)

Most hits: In Memory to Dwell for this one too

Most comments: Darkly the Sundering Flood !! I'm so glad my dear darling made it on the list. I think this is my favorite thing I wrote this year. (T, 15.1k, Finrod & Beren, background Finrod/Bëor)

New Things I Tried: Thanks to @echo-bleu's incredibly gorgeous TRSB art, I tried exploring disability in a Middle-earth context and it was such a rewarding experience. I was so nervous going into that project and it has ended up being one of my favorite things I've worked on. (In Memory to Dwell)

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: This one is technically a 3-way tie, but I will go with These Echoes We Have Left because I'd also been working on portions of that one in the background for probably 6 months leading up to it, so I think it wins overall. Plus, it was my first time really writing a fight sequence (and wrangling with Orcs up close and personal) and I'm quite proud of it as a result. (T, 13.6k, Finrod/Bëor)

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: Another tie here between And Joined Them Thread By Thread (G, 474, Amarië/OC) that I wrote in a day because I had Ekphrasis Week fomo, and Then Love Like Dawn Awakens (T, 1.6k, Finrod/Bëor) that I also wrote in a day because this art by @nynevefromthelake gave me such brainworms all of a sudden 😂

Favorite Thing I Wrote: I referenced this already, but I think Darkly the Sundering Flood is the winner this year. It was the first time I really got to poke at the Nargothrond coup (and I ended up quite happy with the result) and also it let me really dig into the maturation of Finrod's views on Elf/mortal relationships and philosophy post-Athrabeth. It was one of those installments where I had been holding a lot of the strings for awhile and finally got to pull them all together here, which was so very rewarding.

Favorite Things I Read:

2024 was insanely busy and I had a lot less reading time than normal, so I know there are a ton of amazing fics I am missing here, but a few that I really enjoyed this year:

Across So Wide a Sea by @emyn-arnens (G, 33.1k, Galadriel & Finrod) I've only had a chance to read the first chapter so far because of a truly not ideal couple weeks over the holidays, but I am absolutely smitten by the prose and characterization here. Gorgeous writing, wonderful character building, and such a clever frame. I can't wait to catch up on the remainder!

Right-ho, Edrahil! by @actual-bill-potts (G, 4k, Finrod & Edrahil) A fic about Finrod and Edrahil and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins written in the style of Wodehouse? God I don't think I have laughed this hard at something all year. An absolute delight.

swan song by @thelordofgifs (G, 18.1k, Elwing, OCs, Finarfin/Eärwen) I had the privilege of beta reading this one and it swept me away from the get-go. The fairytale setting is gorgeous, the childhood POV works so well to draw out the themes, and the way each strand is woven so carefully together makes such an incredibly satisfying story.

Deeper Roots than Reason by @sallysavestheday (G, 5.5k, Amlach & Maedhros, etc) Once again, a piece that does an incredible job of weaving so many strands throughout the narrative. Gorgeous prose, rich and multi-faceted characterizations, and a story that echoes like a chord through every chapter. Stunning.

Tagging everyone above if this sounds fun!

[grassbreads]

Guys my Tai Sui professor fic has reached almost 5.5k and I still don't know for sure how I'm going to end it.

[odnson]

Please, tell me more about literally all of the wips! What's cooking!

lmao oh gosh, what i have rn are like, very vague ideas and the docs are just full of lines that lead nowhere but….👀

1. jwds mafia

Before this, Joowon had only seen pictures. Dozens of them, featuring different angles and expressions, showcasing his subject in various types of clothing. Often alone, sometimes with his trusted confidante, but never with family.

Now, in the flesh, the first thing that Joowon notices is the slouch. Too relaxed and borderline lazy, and something he unconsciously frowns at.

literally what the filename says 😂😂😂 funny thing is tho, i have an ending for this and a beginning, but i completely have no idea how to stitch them together because all i have are vibes. just sth sth about jw infiltrating a rival clan to help hkh’s rise to power (pretty much the same with his motives in the show originally), going undercover but being busted from day one because lbr, he’s up against ds. but ds is weak to pretty men (canon) and lets jw do what he wants for a while, etc etc. this def revolves around the “love for jw but revenge for ds” premise, only that because i’m me, it doesn’t stay that way for ds ofc. it does, however, get messier and messier, and i cannot go into too many details without spoiling it but!!!! someday i wish to finish this, like, fr.

2. jwds5+1????

Manyang offering him a seat at a table full of people he’d antagonized more than once remains a strange phenomenon to his eyes, but sitting beside Lee Dongsik and letting his warm smile soothe him isn’t.

i got the idea for this while otw to work so hopefully i can finish this in a few days?? pretty excited about this tbh, but it’s essentially about jwds gatekeeping the other from ppl because they’re actually a little too insane for one another, as we all know!!! (the show canon is just too good, really) i think this will be my attempt to be funnier but who knows, maybe this will turn into something else entirely? again, all i have are vibes as of the moment. 🙃

3. jwdsjj

A question now sits in Jeongje’s eyes the longer Dongsik looks at him. Dongsik wonders if he’ll ask.

Then, slowly: “How’s Han Joowon?”

Dongsik blinks, caught off-guard. He thought of a number of questions Jeongje would have for him, the millions of ways he could’ve phrased what he truly wanted to know: what is Dongsik doing here?

But this—Dongsik has to admit that he didn’t foresee this.

The name sparks warmth in him, as it often does. Underneath that blanket of fondness and security is something that burns savagely, and Dongsik feels unmoored, like Jeongje is prying into things he shouldn’t.

“He’s fine,” is what Dongsik settles with. A crumb of a truth is a truth all the same, which is all he can offer for now.

Jeongje’s gaze flits to Dongsik’s side, at the obvious absence of the man in question.

Dongsik sighs. “He’s at home.”

Something seems to hit Jeongje then, like an unseen force: he shifts in his seat, a small smile sitting on his lips. He looks simultaneously victorious and resigned, as if he won a personal wager at the cost of himself.

There was a time, Dongsik remembers, that he’d ache when Jeongje looks that way. When they were young and Jeongje needed him, when he couldn’t fend for himself and Dongsik was still the taller of the two.

this is actually finished but idk, i’m not satisfied with it so i never posted it??? it sits at 5.5k words and while it does start in a way i like, it degenerates to sth that makes me go “hmmmm wait a sec” whenever i reread so yeah. 🙃🙃🙃 anyway, it’s about ds reminiscing and revisiting the love he has for jj (while jj is imprisoned) and realizing that it just couldn’t work for them that way. sounds very sad, i know, but i’m operating on what the show has given all of us lmao. i have to reread it again because i havent touched it in a while but i seem to remember that it’s also about ds seeing just how much jj loved him; it’s just that the love they had for each other didn’t happen at the same time and it was already too late when they both realized it. YEAH. now u might be wondering, how does jw fit into the picture??? that snippet is one of the many ways he does. 😂😂 (and just in case someone’s curious: no, it doesn’t end in a threesome. had i been capable of pwp, it def would’ve but alas.)

anyway this got way too long lmao but thank you, as always, for indulging me!!!! u’re amazing. 💕

[cegantheayugipi]

a glitch in the matrix - or crack(heads) in the abyss

A Genshin Crackfic, Part 3

Lost? here's the masterlist.

Note: I'm back and once again I have nothing to say, except for a sincere apology those who actually read this.

Summary: This is a product of my insanity... Part THREE NOW?!?! I'm so sorry. Two female gamers get isekai'd into genshin, except nothing is as you'd expect. Also, to get around having TWO readers in one story, I've just labeled their names as A and B, so you'll be reading A/N and B/N instead of Y/N.

About the characters: A/N has a fatal Zhongli simp disorder, and B/N probably did too much crack in a previous life.

Word Count: 5.5k

Crack rating: 6/10

~~~

The next day, A/N and B/N went to see Yanfei together. A/N had explained roughly what she wanted from the half-adeptus lawyer, and B/N was absolutely ecstatic about it and demanded to join.

“Oh, you brought a friend today?” Yanfei asked, looking over at B/N as the two girls approached the table.

“Yeah, I hope it’s okay… She’s really excited to sit with us and talk about this contract.” A/N explained.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Yanfei stood up and shook B/N’s hand. 

“You too!” B/N responded. The three sat down at the table together.

“So, from our meeting yesterday, you said you wanted me to write a contract of marriage. And the person you’d like to marry is Zhongli.” Yanfei spoke.

“U-uhm, yes…” A/N began to blush. “It’s a little embarrassing when you put it that way.” 

“Well, a contract of marriage is generally a common commission, and usually people use generic ones. What made you want to write a personalized one?” Yanfei spoke professionally. 

“I-it’s really important to me.” A/N explained bashfully, looking down. Her face at this point was bright red.

“Well, I will do my best to write a satisfactory contract.” Yanfei responded, handing papers to A/N. “So, let’s begin with this regular marriage contract as a basis for your personalized one. Is there anything you’d like to change or remove, before we begin to add things? Take your time to read through.” 

A/N looked down and began to scan the page. B/N peered over A/N’s shoulder, reading along with her. A/N spoke up when she saw something on the page

“Actually, I’d like to change this clause here to be more detailed…”

~~~

“Okay, it seems we’re mostly done writing up this contract. Is there anything else that comes to mind you would like to add?” Yanfei asked.

“I’m not sure…” A/N trailed off. “I think we covered everything…”

“Oh wait!” B/N spoke up. “You need to add a clause about sex.”

“I-” A/N seemed to break inside as her face went as red as a tomato. “I’m-”

“Okay, I can add a clause about sexual intercourse.” Yanfei scribbled something down on her notepad. “But, I’d need more details from you A/N.”

A/N was getting dizzy. Just the mere concept of having sex with Zhongli was driving her insane. Did she have to think about it here? She thought she might faint. Zhongli was the man of her dreams, quite literally. She didn’t think she could handle describing the details here.

“Hello? Earth to A/N?” B/N waved a hand in front of her friend’s face. She sighed, realizing that A/N was beyond help. “How about I tell Yanfei what to add?”

A/N just nodded her head.

“Okay, I’m all ears.” Yanfei responded with a straight face.

“So, intercourse must be regular, reciprocal, and passionate. I would set the minimum at twice a week.” B/N explained, her face completely stone cold meanwhile A/N felt like she was melting. She quite literally slumped onto the surface of the table, steam coming out of her ears from her brain overheating. She had seen Zhongli shirtless every day, but somehow every single time he revealed his skin it seemed like A/N had never seen a man before in her life.

Now, imagining getting sexual with him, her brain was going haywire. Before she knew it, B/N had finished explaining everything to the poor half-Adeptus lawyer.

“Okay, that should just about sum up everything.” B/N finished, nodding her head satisfactorily.

“Thank you for the… incredible detail, B/N.” Yanfei responded with her usual professional demeanor, scribbling down more notes on her notepad.

“It’s no problem!” B/N smiled in response.

“I’ll get the contract written up today.” Yanfei responded. “Have you brought the payment?”

“Oh,” A/N snapped out of her daze at the request for payment. “I actually forgo-”

A/N was cut off by a large bag of mora being dropped onto the table. The coins clunked heavily in the bag, evidence of its weight. A/N looked up to see that B/N was the one who threw the bag on the table.

“Where on earth did you get that money from?” A/N asked.

“I can explain later.” B/N responded. The two thanked Yanfei and said their goodbyes before walking back down the stairs towards the beautiful pagoda at the bottom of Bubu pharmacy.

“So,” B/N spoke in a soft voice. “I might have invented leggings in Teyvat.” 

“WHAT?!” A/N exclaimed. B/N shushed her, and A/N continued in a much quieter tone. “Is that even legal?”

“Well, it’s legal, for sure. I have my patents and commercial licenses set up already. As a matter of fact, I’ve already set up a business structure for selling and distributing leggings.”

“What the hell?” A/N asked. “I literally thought you were just doing crazy stuff.” 

“Well, most people would call us crazy.” B/N responded. “Remember how I got you to ask Zhongli for a million mora?” 

“Oh yeah, I remember that. Zhongli just turned around and got it from Childe, as per usual.” A/N added.

“So, I bought the raw materials, had a seamstress make a prototype, and now they can be mass produced. I even have a sales structure set up where people buy into the company first, then sell the goods they’ve bought for a commission. They get bonuses and a smaller commission from getting more people to buy in and become a sales representative.” 

“Wait… is this…” A/N trailed off.

“Multi level marketing?” B/N finished A/N’s question for her. “Yes. But the product is life changing.” 

“I seriously can’t with you.” A/N sighed.

“Do you want some leggings?” B/N pulled a pair out of her pocket. 

“Hell yeah.” A/N responded, grabbing the pair of leggings. “These pants I appeared in last week are so uncomfortable!”

“I know, right?” B/N laughed. “I ditched my pants for a pair of these last week.” 

“And you didn’t tell me? I wish I had these sooner! I need to find somewhere to put these on.”

“Do you think Bubu pharmacy has a bathroom or changing room?” B/N asked.

“They should.” A/N replied. The two immediately took off up the stairs to the pharmacy. They finally reached the top, both girls completely out of breath.

“Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy. And who might you two beautiful ladies be?” The voice that came from inside the pharmacy was instantly recognized by A/N and B/N. It was Baizhu, the handsome Dendro vision-holder who wore an iconic tank top and an even more iconic snake around his neck. A/N and B/N laughed at Baizhu’s flirtatious comment.

“Are you a zombie, like Qiqi?” Another voice came from behind the counter. B/N looked over, to see an adorable Qiqi staring up at her.

“Um, no, we’re definitely alive.” B/N spoke.

“Why do you think we’re zombies?” A/N asked.

“You smell like you’re from another place. Like Qiqi.” The young purple-haired girl explained slowly. B/N and A/N exchanged an alarmed glance.

“So, you’re not surprised by the fact that Qiqi is a zombie?” Baizhu questioned.

“N-no, we just came here to look around.” A/N stuttered. “Or, maybe, use the bathroom.”

Baizhu let out a smooth chuckle. “Of course. It’s in the back.” Baizhu led A/N away, leaving B/N standing there awkwardly with Qiqi. 

“So… what do zombies smell like?” B/N asked.

“They smell like zombies.” Qiqi responded joylessly. “Do you have a prescription?”

“Um, no.” B/N furrowed her eyebrows as she responded.

“You need a prescription to buy the medicine.”

B/N sighed as Qiqi reverted to her usual lines, evidently something that happened when humans were reanimated as zombies.

“Apologies for Qiqi’s behavior,” Baizhu spoke as he returned. “Sometimes she gets stuck with the same task, and can’t switch to a different conversation easily.”

“Oh,” A/N spoke as she entered the room once again. “Qiqi, would you like some coconut milk?” A/N summoned the bottle of milk out of gold glitter – which was apparently normal in Teyvat, but still disconcerted both girls whenever they did this.

“Coconut milk…” Qiqi grew excited, considering her usual zombie-like attitude was completely emotionless. She reached up over the counter with her tiny hands, wanting to grab the glass bottle. A/N set it into Qiqi’s hands with a sweet smile.

“How did you know Qiqi loves coconut milk?” Baizhu asked, lifting a hand to his chin in thought.

“Oh, uh…” A/N struggled to find an excuse. “Kids love coconut milk…”

“Oh, I had no idea.” Baizhu raised his eyebrows at A/N’s responde.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Baizhu.” B/N spoke. “And sorry for only coming to use the bathroom.”

“Oh, it was a pleasure having you come by.” Baizhu responded sweetly. “And thank you for giving Qiqi coconut milk.”

“Mmmm…” Qiqi hummed, coconut milk staining her upper lip white as she voraciously drank the milk.

“Uhh, It’s no problem, have a nice day!” A/N responded, giving a smile and a wave as the two girls left the pharmacy and descended the stairs down to the pagoda.

“Hmm…” Baizhu turned to face Qiqi. “How did that young girl know my name?” 

“Qiqi thought you knew them already.”

~~~

“Okay, it’s game day.” B/N spoke lowly, hunching over her breakfast to whisper to A/N. The two girls sat side-by-side at Wanmin Restaurant. “I booked the restaurant. Have you invited Zhongli to tea yet?” 

“Ahhh, ahhh!” A/N groaned, slapping her palms onto her cheeks as they flared bright red. She was nervous out of her mind. Today was the day she was going to ask Zhongli to marry her. He was the literal man of her dreams, and she was sure she’d pretty much curl up and die if he said no.

“You need to calm down. Focus, girlie!” B/N shook A/N’s shoulders to snap her out of her thoughts. 

“Oh man, do you think he’ll kiss me after he signs it?” A/N mumbled, hearts beaming in her eyes. 

“He’d better.” B/N spoke. “I think he will. After all, he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. I’d be jealous, but I think if another human being looked at me that way I would get freaked out.”

“Awww, do you really think he does?” A/N asked.

“Um, do you have eyes?” B/N responded sarcastically. “Hey, Xiangling, can you get A/N something cold to drink? She’s overheating thinking about her future husband.”

“Sure, coming right up!” XIangling disappeared underneath the counter once again, before quickly reappearing with a glass in her hand.

“T-thanks,” A/N mumbled, taking a sip of the cool liquid.

B/N did her best to calm down her nervous friend. The hours passed slowly as the meeting grew nearer and nearer, and A/N felt like she was dreaming and dying from nervousness at the same time.

Finally, the time came for B/N and A/N to go to the tea lounge. A/N was more nervous than she had ever felt in her entire life; she felt weak in the knees as she walked up the front steps and faltered for a second.

“Woah there, do you need me to carry you?” B/N asked, putting a hand on A/N’s shoulder.

“N-no.” A/N responded. “I’m gonna do this.” She spoke determinedly, nodding her head vigorously.

“Yes you are!” B/N exclaimed excitedly. “You’ve got this!” 

After hyping A/N up enough, the two walked into the building. B/N had to do all the talking to the waiter, and then once the girls were sitting at the table B/N did her best to keep A/N’s mind occupied while the two waited for Zhongli to appear.

“He’s late.” A/N murmured, staring at the clock on the wall. “What if he knows why I invited him here and he doesn’t show up?”

“I’m sure he’s coming.” B/N reassured her, waving the waiter over to the table.

“Is there anything you need, miss?” The waiter asked.

“Yes, we’d like to order some tea to start out with. A pot of Fukamushicha and Tieguanyin please.” B/N spoke, but then lowered her voice. “Can you also please take that clock off of the wall? It is making my friend anxious.” 

The waiter looked at B/N as if she were crazy, but quickly corrected his demeanor and responded with an “of course” before briskly walking away.

B/N was not about to mention that she had done research on teas in Teyvat just for this occasion. Regardless, the two girls ended up sipping tea while waiting for the ever-tardy Zhongli. By the time the retired Archon had arrived, B/N was ready to order the next round of tea.

“Apologies for the delay.” Zhongli spoke, offering no further excuse for his lateness. He sat down next to A/N at the round table.

“I’m happy you came to join us…” A/N spoke, her nerves coming back at the sight of Zhongli.

“Of course I would join you.” Zhongli gave her a soft smile. “I enjoy our time together.”

“U-uh, speaking of time together…” A/N began. “I’d like to give you a proposal.”

“A proposal?” Zhongli asked.

“Yes… It’s a contract, actually.” A/N explained. B/N slid the stack of papers across the table, keeping silent to let A/N talk. Zhongli read the words across the top and his eyes widened.

‘Marital Agreement’.

“I see…” Zhongli spoke as he stared down at the paper. “Perhaps we should order some more tea and discuss this contract?”

“That sounds like a great idea.” B/N spoke up, as A/N became a fuzzled ball of nerves again. She waved over the waiter, who rolled his eyes at the ridiculous girl before coming to the table.

Zhongli ordered tea this time, and A/N was thankful that he didn’t seem to realize just how nervous she was. B/N tried her best to distract Zhongli while A/N composed herself, and finally once the three of them had some more tea A/N spoke up again.

“I’d like you to read through the contract and uh… tell me what you think.” She spoke.

“Yes, I can do that…” Zhongli responded.

“Um, sorry to interrupt.” B/N spoke up. “I need to excuse myself for a minute.”

After so much tea, B/N really needed to go to the bathroom. Like, REALLY needed to go. She jumped up from her seat and briskly stalked towards the bathroom at the back of the restaurant.

Swinging the door to the ladies’ room open, she made a beeline for the toilet.

“Woah there, angel.” A man’s voice came from behind B/N. She instantly recognized it as Childe’s and swiveled around to see him leaning against the wall behind the door, arms crossed over his chest. She  threw the mischievous ginger a disgusted look for being in the women’s bathroom. 

“What are you doing here, perv?” She asked, frowning.

“I think it’s my turn to ask questions.” Childe stepped forward. “What are you planning in Liyue Harbor?” 

“Ugh.” B/N rolled her eyes, completely unthreatened by Childe’s method of questioning. “Pee first, talk later. I REALLY gotta go.”

B/N turned around and walked to the toilet. She reached up her dress to pull down her leggings, bunching up the skirt in her hands as she muttered “I hate this fucking dress.”

Childe stared in horror as B/N sat down on the toilet in front of him and began to urinate. She stared right back at him, with dead eyes and a stone cold expression. This girl was a mystery. She was terrifying. No intimidation tactic Childe tried ever worked on her. Even here, he was the one being intimidated.

“What are you blushing at, pervert?” B/N asked mockingly. “This kind of shit turn you on?”

Childe didn’t even realize how much blood had rushed to his face. He scoffed, turning around and hurriedly leaving the bathroom, slamming the door angrily behind him.

~~~

When B/N was finished in the bathroom, she walked back out to the restaurant. However, from across the room, she spotted A/N alone at the table. She wondered if Zhongli needed to use the bathroom as well, but her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw the tears streaming down her friend’s face.

“What happened?” B/N rushed over to A/N.

“He- hic” A/N hiccuped. “He said no.” A/N began to wail loudly.

“He… what?” B/N spoke darkly, her brows furrowing with anger.

“He just said no and left!” A/N began to ugly cry, and fury descended upon B/N at those words. 

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” B/N took A/N by the shoulders, helping her stand up. She quickly tossed a bag of mora on the table. It was much more than the bill would have come out to, but she didn’t care.

Childe watched the two from the back of the restaurant, intrigued by what was unfolding.

B/N walked a sobbing A/N back to Wangsheng Funeral parlor.

“I knew it, I knew I’ll never have love.” A/N sniffled, more tears running down her face. 

“No, no you will!” B/N responded, trying to console her friend.

“After everything that happened in my life, I should have known better.” A/N sighed. Teardrops spattered onto the ornate pavement of Liyue’s streets.

“No, don’t you dare say that.” B/N responded.

“But it’s true! I’m just not meant to have love.” A/N sobbed.

“No, you will have love.” B/N looked down, adding her thoughts at the end.

‘I’ll make sure of it.’

The two girls finally walked up the stairs and into the funeral parlor.

“Welcome to-” Hu Tao cut herself off as she saw the sobbing A/N. “What happened to the Zhongli simp?”

A/N only wailed louder at the sound of Zhongli’s name.

“Hu Tao. Please look after A/N.” B/N asked, her face dead serious. Hu Tao’s eyes widened. She didn’t understand what was happening, but she knew this situation must be grave.

“Okay…” Hu Tao trailed off, watching as B/N swiftly spun around and ran out of the front doors.

“I don’t wanna be here.” A/N wailed, more tears spilling down her face. “It reminds me of Zhongli.”

“Did something happen to old man?” Hu Tao spoke, her tone concerned.

“He rejected me!” A/N sighed, hiccupping as she sobbed.

“WHAT?!” Hu Tao exclaimed, completely taken aback. “That’s really unusual…” She murmured.

~~~

B/N felt the fury of a thousand suns rushing through her veins as she tracked down the former Geo Archon. She had a good idea where he would be; after all, A/N had previously told her where Zhongli usually went to collect his thoughts.

And almost exactly as she suspected, Zhongli was standing in the middle of the field that A/N had mentioned. As if Zhongli had sensed her presence, he turned around to face her.

“B/N.” He spoke. “I assume you must be here becau-”

“Shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say.” B/N spat out her words with venom more potent than a rattlesnake. “You’re going to sign this contract, even if I have to force you. A/N has been through too much to face a rejection from you.”

“I am sorry.” Zhongli responded, seemingly unaffected by B/N’s aggressive behavior. “I will have to decline your request.”

“Do you have any idea how much you’re hurting A/N?” B/N shouted.

“I do not-” Zhongli’s eyes were wide, but B/N continued to speak.

“I challenge you to a duel.” B/N spoke. “If you lose, you have to sign the contract.”

“Although I no longer have my gnosis,” Zhongli spoke. “I would be wary of challenging an Archon.”

“Like I care!” B/N responded sarcastically, leaping forward. She didn’t know how to fight in this world. She only knew how to fight in the video game, but even there she was practically a newbie.

Even so, the vicious weeb sprinted towards the Geo Archon. Zhongli was taken aback by how fast she was, but he quickly adjusted to her speed and summoned his shield before she could reach him. What surprised him even more, however, was how she summoned a transparent-looking claymore and suddenly imbued it with pyro. 

‘So she does have a vision, after all.’ Zhongli thought to himself, summoning another pillar to fight back. B/N began to attack with the same exact moves that he had seen Diluc do before. With a spinning flip, she swiped at Zhongli’s shield.

“B/N, I do not want to fight you.” Zhongli spoke.

“Then sign the fucking contract!” B/N panted, jumping backwards. Much to Zhongli’s awe, the claymore in B/N’s hands began to change shape. It was now a polearm, and it was imbued with cryo as she dashed towards him once again. Zhongli’s shield had disappeared, forcing him to jump out of the way of her attacks. B/N didn’t realize what she was doing. All she felt was anger and hatred towards the man who stole then crushed her dearest friend’s heart.

“You have no clue how much A/N has been hurt before!” B/N exclaimed, her weapon transforming into a catalyst as she let go of it and it began to hurtle rocks at Zhongli. He didn’t have time to slow down and cast his shield anymore; he had to fight back. “She deserves to finally have someone treat her right, how dare you take that away from her!” 

B/N’s catalyst transformed into a bow, and she drew it back until the crackle of electro ripped through the air. Before she could do anything, however, Zhongli swiped at her with his polearm. B/N tumbled backwards across the field, flipping over and over. Still, somehow, she managed to release a spell and send a menacing looking bird out that shot electro attacks at Zhongli. He quickly cast his shield, protecting himself from getting hit.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Zhongli spoke, his tone serious.

“We’re way past that point now.” B/N stood up, wiping blood off of her chin. She saw the red stain when she took her hand away from her face, but she couldn’t feel it. The rage and adrenaline coursing through her was simply too much at this point. Her weapon transformed back into a polearm, but this time it was imbued with Anemo as she rushed towards Zhongli. His polearm met hers with a clash, and they ended up at a stalemate.

“You have no idea how much A/N loves you.” B/N spoke, her words fuelled by fury as she strained under the force of Zhongli’s power.

“I love her too.” Zhongli responded.

His statement caught B/N off guard, making her falter. That millisecond was more than enough for Zhongli to overpower her, throwing her to the ground and injuring her even more in the process.

“Wh-” B/N wheezed after having the wind knocked out of her. “Why won’t you marry her?”

“I will neither age nor die.” Zhongli explained. “I would never want to put A/N through partnership with an Archon when she would be so much happier with a human.”

B/N continued to lay there on the ground and winded as Zhongli stood above her.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” B/N groaned, partly from frustration and partly from pain. “A/N would never choose anyone over you.”

“What?”

“She’s so in love with you,” B/N coughed, “That she wouldn’t want to live without you. Now go apologize to her and marry her before you get another stupid thought in that head of yours.” 

B/N lifted one arm up, straining since her body felt so abused at that point. She summoned the contract scroll out of golden glitter, holding it up for Zhongli to take. “And do it fast. I don’t want her hurting for another minute.” 

“But you’re very injured-“

“Shut up.” B/N cut Zhongli off quickly. “Go to A/N now. She’s with Hu Tao at the funeral parlor.” 

“O-okay.” Zhongli grabbed the scroll and turned to walk back towards Liyue Harbor.

What neither of them noticed, however, was a spying Childe who had seen everything from afar. He had watched in awe as B/N used multiple elements, but that awe quickly transformed into something much more sinister as he knew he needed to inform the Tsaritsa of this.

Childe heard the young girl cough, the air in her lungs struggling to escape. Zhongli had done a number to her, despite only acting defensively in their fight.

“Oh man.” B/N wheezed, blinking her eyes hard. Childe began to approach her as he started to feel concerned about her health.

“Hey, girlie. You okay?” He asked, bending down to look at B/N.

“Evidently not.” B/N coughed.

“Why did you even try to fight Zhongli, knowing he was an Archon?” Childe narrowed his eyes at her.

“I’d fight God for A/N.” B/N spoke sarcastically. Childe grew confused at her mention of a single god. 

“What do you me-” 

“Uhh, I don’t feel so good.” B/N cut Childe off, her eyes going blank.

Childe’s mouth dropped open as he watched B/N’s body begin to disintegrate into nothing. Of course, he had seen this happen many times before, but this was so unexpected. This girl was something special, given her miraculous abilities. Childe in no way expected her to die so suddenly.

“H-hey!” Childe shouted, reaching out to her body but making contact with nothing. As the last traces of her faded away, Childe kneeled there, staring at the ground where B/N once was blankly.

Childe struggled to come to terms with the way B/N had died. She had died for the sake of her friend. Readily, in fact. Childe realized that now she was gone, he truly would never understand the enigma that was her mind. He was pretty sure that B/N was one of a kind. What was he going to do now? How would A/N feel about this?

Childe dreaded the thought of having to tell A/N about what happened to B/N. He shivered, wondering if he should tell A/N why B/N ended up dying. Would she blame Zhongli?

All of his thoughts came to a halt, however, as he heard B/N’s voice from far away.

“Is this what you do whenever you disappear?” B/N scoffed. Childe’s head snapped up, and he spotted the girl from across the field. Her clothes were pristine, and there wasn’t a single scratch on her body.

“Are you a ghost?” Childe murmured in utter disbelief.

“No? I just respawned.” B/N shrugged nonchalantly. “Are you a fucking idiot or something?”

“Oh, thank Archons.” Childe sighed in relief, realizing that he now didn’t need to tell A/N that you were dead.

“You like that nickname?” B/N smirked, “I’ll call you that more often. Fucking idiot.” She walked across the field towards Liyue Harbor, passing Childe who hadn’t moved from where he was kneeling on the ground.

~~~

Back at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, A/N was trying to escape while Hu Tao blocked the front doors.

“Let me out of here!” A/N wailed, tears spilling down her face. “It’s making me miss Zhongli even more.”

“No way!” Hu Tao responded. “B/N said you’d run away if I let you!” 

“Ahhhhh!” A/N cried even harder. She spun around, legging it towards a window that was cracked open. Somehow, she managed to open the window and smoothly jump through, rolling onto the ground before running down the street away from the funeral parlor.

“Oh hell no!” Hu Tao exclaimed, picking up a casket from the parlor floor and running out the door while holding it over her head.

The image of the small Hu Tao chasing A/N with a coffin was comical to any passerby, but to A/N it was something straight from her nightmares. She was screaming as she ran down the street, her tears flying from her face in the wind.

No human was any match for Hu Tao when it came to putting things into coffins. After all, Hu Tao was the esteemed director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. After only a couple of traumatizing minutes, A/N was now locked inside a dark casket. At the very least, the plush lining was comfortable. As Hu Tao walked back up the road carrying the coffin with A/N inside it (again, proving that she had an inhuman amount of strength), the steady rocking of the coffin finally lulled A/N into sleep.

~~~

When Zhongli returned to the funeral parlor, marriage contract in hand, Hu Tao was sitting placidly at her desk looking over some papers. The room was incredibly quiet, and Zhongli looked around for any sign of the woman he loved.

“Hu Tao, have you seen A/N?” Zhongli asked.

“Ssssh!” Hu Tao raised a finger to her lips. “She’s sleeping.”

“Where?” Zhongli asked more quietly this time. Hu Tao simply pointed towards the casket in the corner of the parlor. 

Zhongli’s eyes widened, and he rushed over to open the casket. Hu Tao could have suffocated A/N in there! He let out a sigh of relief as he realized Hu Tao had left the casket cracked open so at least A/N could get some air. He opened the lid gently, revealing a peacefully sleeping A/N. Zhongli felt his heart twist as he spotted the trails of tears down her cheeks, and he realized he had made a terrible mistake by saying no to her.

“A/N…” Zhongli murmured, reaching down to brush a stray hair away from her face. Her eyes fluttered open as she stirred from her sleep. 

“Zhongli?” A/N murmured, blinking the sleep from her eyes. All of her crying and sadness didn’t matter to her anymore; Zhongli was here. Even if he didn’t love her, at least he was nearby now.

Zhongli reached down, gently picking A/N up and carefully setting her back on her feet. A/N relished his touch, her hands lingering on his arms after he had set her upright. She looked up at him, her body remaining close to his. Her heart was in so much pain, but with Zhongli here, she felt like she could still be happy.

Zhongli, on the other hand, could see the sorrow in A/N’s eyes. He felt terrible; he was solely responsible for this.

“I am sorry.” Zhongli murmured, gazing down at A/N.

“Huh?” A/N asked, confused.

“I only said no because I thought you deserved better.” He spoke gently.

“You… what?” A/N asked, getting confused. This was too much for her brain to handle.

“I am in love with you.” Zhongli spoke, raising a hand up to cup her cheek. “I believed marrying you would be a selfish act.”

“What on ear- Teyvat are you talking about?” A/N responded. “Marrying you would be a dream come true for me!” 

“I know.” Zhongli spoke. “B/N made sure I knew that.”

“She did?” A/N asked.

“Yes.” Zhongli responded. “Now, I would like to formally agree to your contract of marriage.” He brought his free hand up revealing the scroll.

“Y-you would?” A/N asked, hope suddenly filling her eyes. None of the sadness and anguish she felt over the past hours mattered anymore. Zhongli said yes, and she was now the happiest person in the universe.

“Yes, I would like nothing more than to wed you.” Zhongli murmured, looking into A/N’s glimmering eyes. She was the most beautiful person Zhongli had ever seen; even before Zhongli had met her in this world, when they were connected through different universes, he fell in love with the spirit who guided him. He didn’t realize how much she loved him back until B/N forced him to. Only then did he realize that A/N’s yearning for touch, for comfort, for companionship from him, was much deeper than a simple friendship.

A/N gazed up at Zhongli, the epitome of perfection. No man could ever compare to him. As Zhongli continued to stare down at the enchanted girl, he began to move his face closer to hers. 

A/N’s hands instinctively traveled up his arms, hooking around the back of his neck. She moved onto her tip-toes, leaning up to meet Zhongli’s lips in a tender kiss. The kiss was sweet like honey, and it was full of the catharsis that A/N and Zhongli both needed. Their love for each other was so intense and so passionate that as A/N melted into Zhongli’s arms, he held her tighter around him. 

“Get a room, you two!” Hu Tao exclaimed, making a gagging expression as she stuck her tongue out.

“Aah, I’m sorry!” A/N squeaked, jumping back. Heat rushed to her face as she realized she had just kissed Zhongli in front of Hu Tao.

As if on cue, B/N swung the front doors of the parlor open and marched inside, with Childe following close behind. Zhongli noticed immediately that B/N’s clothes were completely pristine, as if she had never gotten into the fight in the first place. 

A/N turned to see her friend walk in, and gave her a beaming smile. “Thank you so much B/N! I heard you talked to Zhongli for me.”

“Oh, it was nothing!” B/N laughed. “I’m glad he finally realized he was being stupid.”

Zhongli narrowed his eyes at B/N, but not because the strange girl had called him stupid. He wondered how on earth she could call fighting him half to death ‘nothing’. But what Zhongli didn’t know, and what Childe did, was that B/N actually did die. The ginger simply stood there with an intelligible look on his face as he had no clue how B/N could be so nonchalant. Didn’t she suffer from the blows Zhongli gave her?

“Alright, let’s go celebrate!” B/N exclaimed. “How about third round knockout?”

“That sounds wonderful.” Zhongli smiled at her suggestion.

“Count me in!” Hu Tao piped up.

~~~

[wicked-mind]

Betrayed: Chapter Four

Summary: Everybody thought Steve’s sister had passed away decades ago. But when you show up at the facility and try to attack Bucky, there are questions to be answered.

Word count: 5.5k

Warning: A bit of violence, talk of kidnapping and torture, talk of surgery, a hint of PTSD

Series Masterlist

All Writings Masterlist

NOTE: I would like to thank everybody for your support. As I previously said, this is the first time posting creative writing on any platform. As a thank you, I’ll be releasing two chapters today (3/19/21). Again, any feedback is appreciated. Enjoy (:

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Chapter Four- I Guess We Can Be Friends

The rest of the team returned finally. A smile returned to Y/N’s face after seeing her brother and Wanda after the week. Steve made sure to get a run down of everything that happened in his absence from Clint and Bucky. Hearing of her nightmares, the voice she heard, and the progress her and Bucky had made. Steve and Bucky both exchanged the word ‘progress’ again with a smile. The chip they had recovered was protected, they couldn’t access the information on it right away, having to do some deep digging.

Steve found his sister chatting with Wanda, filling her in on everything that had happened. Y/N talked to Wanda about her nightmares and how Bucky was the one who woke her from them. She told her friend about how she heard the voice in her head, to which Wanda looked concerned. With Y/N’s permission, she could look to see if there was something else in her head, but she would wait for that until Y/N was ready for that. Steve entered the room with a light knock, smiling at Y/N.

“I’m all caught up on things that happened while we were away.” Steve told his sister, with a small comforting smile, “We recovered your chip still in tact. We are trying to get into it the information on it.”

Y/N nods, then looks at Wanda, “I need you to do it. Look in my mind and see if there is someone else.” She said, to which Steve and Wanda both looked shocked, “Please Wanda, I can’t sit here and wait to see if he starts whispering again. I have to know if it is real or if it’s me slowly going insane.” She whispered the last part.

“Don’t you think we should wait for a little bit? At least until we see the information on the chip?” Steve asked, concern in his voice. He didn’t want to push his sister into anything that could more damage her fragile state.

Y/N looked from her brother to Wanda, nodding, “Do it.” She demanded.

They gathered in the medical bay, allowing Y/N to lay on one of the beds. Wanda positioned herself behind her friend’s head, looking to her for permission. Y/N nodded and closed her eyes. The whole team watched closely, besides Natasha who had already left to go to the prison. Bucky and Steve had concerned looks on their face about this. Wanda positioned her hands on either side of Y/N’s head, red glowing from her fingers. For a moment, it was silent as Wanda searched, before she drops her hand, looking up to Steve with wide eyes, “There’s someone in there.. I can’t tell who but he is definitely the cause of the whispers. It’s has the same energy as Y/N, but it’s darker, stronger.” Wanda said gently, then looking at Y/N’s face. For a moment, Y/N looked relieved that she wasn’t going insane or being haunted by ghosts. But then worry came across her face as she realized something else was pulling strings in her head.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably on his feet, feeling useless. He couldn’t protect Y/N from the voice in her mind. He had the instincts to protect Y/N from anything and everything. He was determined to find this owner of this voice in her head, make it stop.

“We will wait to see what Natasha figures out.” Steve broke the silence, walking over and helping his sister up from the table. He looked down at her and offered a smile, to which one was returned up to him.

When Natasha was able to get into the information on the chip, she gathered the team to share her findings. She waited for them all to be seated around the circular table before beginning, “The chip showed what Y/N told us. It was used to send direct orders to her no matter where she was in the world. We are still working on downloading the information of where she went and what she did.” Natasha paused, “It also had a second function. It was blocking out some other transmission to her brain. I would guess it was keeping away the whispers that Y/N is now hearing. We aren’t sure what is causing the whispers or why it was important for Hydra to keep them out.” She paused, before looking at the rest of the team, “We don’t know how dangerous these whispers are. There was a reason Hydra wanted them blocked out. They could pose an immediate threat. The safest option would be to keep Y/N in the detention center until we know more.”

Y/N had snuck to listen outside the room. She was very quiet, and could get away very quickly if necessary. She, after all, was trained for things like sneaking around and gathering information without being seen, among other things.

The room fell silent as the team processed what Natasha was proposing to them, “We can’t do that to her.” Steve told the team, “She hasn’t been a threat to any of us since the first night. If we put her in one of the detention cells, it’ll show we don’t trust her and think she’s dangerous. Y/N is just trying to get back on her feet. She doesn’t want to hurt any of us.”

“I don’t trust her. That’s the issue.” Natasha countered, “If those whispers are dangerous, she can snap at anytime and turn on any of us. If she bites one of us and flees, that’s the end of it. Someone will die. We have to take necessary precautions.”

Bucky glared at Natasha for this idea, his jaw clenched, “You can’t do that to Y/N.” He repeated Steve’s words, “She dug herself out of a grave she was meant to stay in, took the chip out, and found us for help. She just wanted to see her brother again.” He said, “She attacked me for a reason. I have forgiven her. She’s not a threat unless we treat her like one or give her a reason to feel threatened.” He paused, taking in a deep breath, eyeing everybody else in the meeting, “If we force her into a cell, we are no better than how Hydra forced her into that coffin. She will break down as it reminds her of the things she went through. You break that trust, we won’t get it back. Any of us.” He said, looking to Steve, then Clint, and to Wanda who was nodding her head in agreement.

Wanda cleared her throat before speaking, drawing the attention to herself, “Y/N is not a current threat to anybody. I’ve seen in her mind, but more importantly I’ve spent almost every day with her. She just wants to live and be happy. Her mind is full of good. She’s a good person of which horrific things have happened to. Y/N doesn’t deserve to be punished for something she hasn’t done yet. I can keep an eye on her mental state, let us have an early warning if the whispers come back stronger.” Wanda watched the others as they slowly nodded in agreement to what she was saying.

“I have part of a solution.” Clint finally spoke, his arms crossed as he sat in his chair leaning back, “She doesn’t pose a threat now. I’ve trained with her more than anybody, she knows how to hold back. She has self control. But, just in case, why don’t we keep some of her blood in stock in case she does snap and bites one of us?”

Steve nodded, “I think that’s the best idea. We will get her to donate some blood to us for emergencies. She will understand and want to help. She doesn’t want to hurt any of us, she will want us to have the cure.” He looked at Bucky for a moment, before looking to Natasha who shook her head, knowing she was out numbered, “For now, we keep an eye on her. Help her. If something happens, we will discuss it.” He said in a tone that everybody knew meant the conversation about locking Y/N away was over. He sighs, slowly standing, “On another note, the annual fundraising gala is tomorrow. Everybody pick a charity of your choice before the party.” Natasha folded her arms, looking at Steve, “You really think the gala is the best idea right now?”

“Of course. We have been walking on eggshells for six months, putting all our focus on unraveling this mystery. We need a break. Thor is already coming in, and the guests have already sent in their RSVP. They’re expecting it. ” He said, knowing he was just irritating and pushing the limits with Nat, who had now exited the room in a hurry, “I guess that concludes our meeting.”

Y/N listened, she took a deep breath, then started chewing on her bottom lip. When they started speaking of the gala, she left. She knew when her brother used that tone it was end of discussion with her situation. She swiftly made it back to her room, sitting on her bed, pulling a magazine onto her lap. She just flicked the pages, not reading it at all. She was thinking about what was said in the team’s discussion. What Natasha said, about locking her away. Maybe that was for the best, she didn’t want to be a threat. She didn’t want to hurt anyone else. But listening to what Steve and Bucky said, they were right. The way Bucky talked about how she would break, he was right. She couldn’t keep herself under control if she was locked away, isolated. It would just be more proof that she was who she thought she was, a hopeless killer.

Y/N heard Wanda approaching and focused back on reading the magazine. Wanda came in beaming with a smile, “Up, up, up, get up!” She said, pulling Y/N by her hands to her feet.

Y/N smiled and laughed, letting her pull her to her feet, “What are we doing now?” She asked, happy to have a best friend like Wanda. She brought joy into Y/N’s life, someone she can be herself around.

“We are going shopping, where’s your shoes?” Wanda said as she searched around the room before throwing the black combat boots at Y/N, how caught them with ease, “The gala is tomorrow and we need to find some dresses.”

Y/N put her shoes on quickly, excited to go out and spend the day with Wanda shopping. She hadn’t got to leave the facility that much, she was excited to see what the world offered her today. Plus it would be nice to get her mind off of what she learned listening to the meeting.The two walked out the front of the facility, Wanda spinning the car keys in her hand. Y/N looked back at the facility, seeing Natasha watching her through the window, before getting in the black BMW with Wanda, “What’s Nat’s issue today?” She asked, curious of what the reply would be.

Wanda waved her hand as if to say forget about it, “Oh don’t worry, that’s just her face. She has RBF. Some days it flares up more than others.” She joked, putting the key in the ignition and speeding down the driveway towards town. On their dress mission, they talked about things. Wanda asked Y/N to tell her if she started hearing whispers again, that it was very important to let her know to which Y/N nodded, promising her best friend. Then they talked about something Wanda always wanted to talk about. Bucky. Wanda knew Y/N’s feelings about him, the good and the bad ones. Lately the better ones have been taking over and replacing those bad memories. Wanda was determined to help replace those memories, for Y/N’s sake and Bucky’s. She knew Bucky still had strong feelings for Y/N, it was hard not to keep out his thoughts when they screamed so loudly for Y/N. And she also knew that Y/N still had those lovey-dovey feelings for Bucky, just maybe a litter deeper down.

THE NEXT NIGHT

Wanda was helping Y/N get ready for the gala, already done getting herself ready. This was Wanda’s favorite event the team held. They got to dress up all fancy and let loose in their own home. There was no shop talk, just fun. Wanda slowly ran the curling iron through Y/N’s blonde hair, curling the ends perfectly so they would bounce as she walked. Wanda was already dressed and ready. As she finished up Y/N’s hair, she smiled, placing the curling iron down, “Don’t touch that.” She warns, not wanting her friend to get burned. Y/N nodded, looking at herself in the mirror. She was all dolled up for this event.

Wanda smiled, putting on her heels, “I’ll meet you out there.” She said, heading for the door, before looking back at Y/N who was still looking at herself in the mirror, “C’mon Y/N, get dressed. Chop chop!” She said and then disappeared out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Y/N tore her eyes away from herself. Her eyelashes were darkened with mascara and her lips were red from a lipstick she borrowed from Wanda. She looked very similar to how she did when she was taken by Bucky. She had curled her hair, put on red lipstick, excited to meet him for their date that never happened. The memory was painful, but she thought about the things Bucky had done for her. He was patient, kind. He helped her through break-downs. He said all the right things. He was being the Bucky she remembered and wanted. She decided she would be open to giving him another chance, being more accepting of him. The only way she would know for sure is if she let him in a little bit. She slowly stood, walking over to the closet and pulling her dress out. Wanda had helped pick it out. Y/N was a little reluctant, the style of dresses had changed since the last time she had worn one. When did they become so revealing? Y/N slipped off the robe she was wearing to get ready, placing it on her bed. She slipped the black dress on. It fit her curves perfectly, although maybe a little tight, “God how do people breathe in these.” She said, flattening out the scrunched lines as she walked in front of the mirror. The dress was jet black, flowing to the floor. There was a slit up the side to show off her pale leg, a little too high if you asked Y/N but Wanda assured her it was the style. It had sleeves that draped over her arms, a small dip in the front but not too revealing. She lifted her hand to her shoulders, her fingers brushing against the silver scars from a past life. She didn’t remember how she got the ones that looked like bites, but there were many of them that were hidden by the view of this dress. She slipped on her black heels, wishing she could just wear her boots. But Y/N knew Wanda would just drag her back to the room to put the shoes on. Y/N gave herself one final glance in the mirror. The dress was beautiful, she was beautiful. Even with the red eyes that seemed to glow. She turned and made her way out of her room and to where the party was being held.

As she entered, Wanda immediately was at her side, handing her a glass of dark wine which Y/N accepted immediately, taking a small sip. The lounge was decorated beautifully and filled with people who were all dressed up also. Steve was sitting at the bar with Bucky and Sam, laughing. He noticed his sister’s arrival and quickly walked over to greet her.

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” Steve said, giving her a quick hug, “I’m glad you decided to come. It’ll be fun.” He promised.

“Yeah I didn’t get to really decide.” Y/N laughed, looking at Wanda, “I’m pretty sure she would’ve dragged me down here, I figured it was easier to come willingly.”

Steve chuckled, giving Wanda a thankful smile, “It’ll be great, don’t worry about anything. Tonight is all about fun.” He said, placing an encouraging hand on his sister’s shoulder, before getting pulled away by some men who seemed excited to have a conversation with the Captain America. Steve figured a Y/N needed some fun. It had been all serious since she came back that she hasn’t really gotten to live.

Y/N and Wanda walked around, introducing themselves to guests and sharing stories. Well, Wanda was doing the sharing. Y/N didn’t have any stories to share, just listened and laughed as she met all the new people. All of them were very nice, and not too intrusive.

Bucky had noticed Y/N as soon as she walked in. He about spit up his drink by how beautiful she looked. He wondered if this is what she would’ve looked like for their date that never happened. It made his heart jump thinking about it. He watched Steve go up to her, a little jealous that he was just able to approach her so easily. He watched her throughout the night, staying at the bar. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Y/N was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He watched her laugh, envying the wine glass she kept bringing to her lips. It reminded him of the one kiss they shared. He cherished that memory of them. Her lips were so soft against his. He wanted that feeling again but knew it was out of his grasp.

At some point, Bucky lost track of Y/N in the crowd. His eyes scanned all the faces in the room, looking for her. He stood up when he saw she wasn’t with Wanda. They had been together the whole night, but now they weren’t. He pushed through people, apologizing and saying excuse me as he searched for Y/N, before turning to look out a window. She was standing out on the lawn alone, her head tilted up to the sky. He immediately made his way out there, wanting to make sure she was alright. He shut the door quietly and approached Y/N, smiling.

“Y/N?” He said, wanting to give her a heads up he was approaching, “Everything alright?” He asked as he stood beside her.

“Oh, hi. Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” She said, looking over to him with her red eyes. She noted how handsome he looked. He was wearing an all black suit, his hands in his pockets. She returned her gaze up to the stars, a soft smile on her red lips, “Just needed some air. I got distracted by the stars. They’re beautiful.”

Bucky kept his eyes on her face, “Yeah.. Beautiful.” He said, not talking about the stars. He examined her face. She was smiling, and her expression was nothing but happiness. He loved seeing her like this- happy. It’s what she deserved.

Y/N looked back to Bucky, noticing he was still staring at her, knowing he wasn’t calling the stars beautiful. She turned towards him, her red eyes meeting his crystal blue ones. She smiled softly, her red lips curving, before she looked down at her almost empty glass of wine, “Buck…” She said softly, as if ashamed, “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. And… you know.. biting you,” She gestured towards the scar on his neck, biting her lip before continuing, “I know that wasn’t you. They were in your head like they were in mine.” She was just now realizing it had been god knows how long since she drank and she may be a little tipsy.

Bucky shook his head at her apology, his hand leaving his pocket as he touched her arm, “Hey, don’t. It’s fine. Your last memory of me was taking you to them. I understand. I probably would’ve had the same reaction. It hasn’t changed the way I see or feel about you, darling. I know who you are. You don’t have to apologize for your trauma.” He said softly, smiling at her.

Y/N lifted her head again to meet his gaze. His skin on hers felt almost electric. It made her skin crawl, her hairs standing up. She nodded, her eyes looking around Bucky, anywhere but his face. Hearing him call her ‘darling’ made her body feel warm. She felt like her heart was racing. She finally looked at his face. She could tell he had just cut his hair recently, probably to look nice for the gala. He looked just like the Bucky she knew. When she arrived his hair was longer, but now his hair was shorter, those blue eyes watching her, a small grin on his face. She took a small step towards him, “Since all is forgiven…” Y/N said, her eyes keeping contact with his, “I suppose that means we can be friends.”

Bucky’s grin only widened as she took a step towards him, his eyes never leaving her face. He was observing every move she made. Everything about her was extraordinary. As she spoke the words he had long waited for her to say, he felt as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, “I would love that.” He replied, “That means we can do friend stuff, right?” He said, talking a small step closer to her, his hand still on her arm, “Like go for coffee, watch movies, have dinner sometime?” He said softly, hoping he wasn’t overstepping with her.

“Hot chocolate,” She corrected, “Not coffee.” She smiles, her eyes watching his as he stepped closer, she bit her lip slightly, her focus moving from his eyes to his lips.

Bucky chuckled at her response, “Hot chocolate with caramel.” He responded, remembering it was her favorite. He knew she didn’t like coffee, but she loved hot chocolate. He was locked onto her eyes that looked at him from underneath her long, dark lashes. He looked at her lips for a moment, wondering if he should move in closer. He felt as if she was giving him all the signals, even flirting back with him. She hadn’t denied him. He leans his face in closer to hers slowly, watching for any reaction, which to his surprise didn’t come.

Instead, a different surprise happened. A flash of light separated the two quickly. When the light faded, Y/N noticed a circle emblem on the ground, but then noticed the man standing in the middle of it. He had short blonde hair, was tall and muscular. He held a large axe in his hand.

“Great timing, Thor. Good to see ya. You’re late.” Bucky said, obviously a little annoyed that the moment between Y/N and himself was ruined.

“Barnes! Good to see you.” Thor replied, placing a pat on Bucky’s back. He was smiling ear to ear, obviously excited about the event, “Who’s your friend?” He said turning to Y/N.

Y/N smiled, “Y/N Rogers.” She said, her red eyes studying him. She had read about him and heard all the stories.

Thor looked at Y/N confused for a moment, “Steve got married? I wasn’t invited?” He said, almost hurt looking.

“No..” Both Y/N and Bucky said at the same time, both laughing a little bit, “I’m his sister.”

Thor looked relieved, before smiling, “Oh yeah, I see the resemblance now. Besides the red eyes, that’s extremely interesting.” He said, point at his own eyes as he talked about hers. Noticing he made her slightly uncomfortable with the comment, he continued, “Well, I better go in and say hello.” He said, walking passed the two and into the party.

Y/N looked back at Bucky, laughing a little at what just happened. It was a little awkward and embarrassing, but the timing was funny to her.

Bucky smiled as she laughed, “So uhm…” He chuckled out, watching her closely, “More wine?” He said, motioning towards the almost empty wine glass still in her hands.

Y/N shook her head, smiling, “Oh no, I’m good. It’s been forever since I’ve had a drink. Tonight I’m a one and done type of girl.” She said, nodding as she told herself this. She was already a little tipsy, she didn’t want to press her luck, “We should head back in though. My feet hurt and there’s some left over pasta in the fridge that’s calling my name.” She said, turning and starting to head back inside. Bucky followed her close behind, smiling to himself. She was treating him like a friend, maybe even more than a friend. She was talking to him like she had growing up. It was exciting to him. It reminded him of a simpler time. He followed her up the stairs to the kitchen in the living quarters, watching as she heated up her food in the microwave. Y/N grabbed a fork, turning to see him still there, “I’m gonna eat this in my room then go to bed.” She said, smiling a little.

Bucky nodded, “I’ll walk you.” He said, even though it was right down the hallway. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with her, just in case this was a dream he was going to wake up from soon. He joined her as they walked down the hall, stopping at her door and opening it for her.

Y/N slipped into the room and placed her food on the desk before turning back to Bucky who was still standing there like a dream, waiting for her. She approached him, smiling, “Thank you.” She said softly, She reached her hand out and touched his arm, still smiling up into his eyes, “Good night, Bucky.”

Bucky grinned at her touch, “Anytime, doll. Good night.” He said happily, accepting the fact this would be the end of their night together, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Tonight was perfect to him. He turned to return back to the party down the stairs. Nothing could bring him down tonight.

Y/N smiled at the pet name, giving his face once last glance, before shutting the door. She smiled to herself. She hadn’t felt like this in a long time. She felt undeniably happy. There was no negativity creeping in at all. She quickly kicked off the heels and changed out of her dress into some sweats and a tank top, hanging the dress back up in her closet. She grabbed her pasta and sat on her bed, turning on the tv. It didn’t take long for her to finish her food, placing the now empty food box in the trash before curling up in bed, falling asleep.

Thor had made his way around saying hello to everybody, before returning back to Steve who was now with Bucky at the bar, “You didn’t tell me you have a sister,” He said to Steve, holding a mug of beer in his hand.

“It never came up.” Steve said, smiling at his friend.

Thor shrugged, “Would’ve been nice to know. The red eyes are very interesting.” He mentioned, taking a large drink of her beer, “Is she otherworldly?”

Steve shook his head, “No, she was a Hydra experiment.” He informed, looking uncomfortable by this conversation.

Thor nodded, taking note of the buttons he seemed to be poking on Steve, “That’s unfortunate, I’m sorry.” He said, placing a comforting hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Oh, and sorry for ruining your moment.” He said to Bucky.

“Moment?” Steve asked, looking from Thor to Bucky, “There was a moment?”

Bucky said silent for a moment, before speaking, “It’s alright, Thor. Y/N and I were just talking.” He said.

Thor looked from Bucky to Steve, “Right… Talking. That’s definitely what I saw.” He said with a smile, “I think I need another.” He said as he looked at his now empty mug, before walking away.

Steve watched Thor leave, before looking around the gala, “Where is Y/N?” he said, realizing he hadn’t seen his sister in a while, and after hearing about the potential ‘moment’ he wanted to make sure she was alright.

“She went to bed, I walked her up.” Bucky said, to which Steve looked at him, eyebrows raised, “She said we could be friends again.” He informed, smiling slightly, though he didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for from his friend.

Steve nodded slightly, “Just friends.” He said. He was never thrilled about the idea of his best friend and sister growing closer. He was Y/N’s brother after all. He knew Bucky was a good man, but he still couldn’t think of them being anything more than friends, “I’ll head up there, be close just in case anything happens.”

“No, I’ll go. Don’t worry, I won’t disturb her.” Bucky said, standing from his seat at the bar, “Besides, you’re in charge of this party. Can’t be leaving. I’ll just sit down the hall until Wanda comes up.” He promised, to which Steve nodded almost reluctantly, still wondering what moment Thor had intruded on. Bucky turned and made his way back up the stairs. Keeping his promise to Steve, he sat outside Y/N’s door in the hallway. He could hear the tv on inside the room, listening as he tried to determine what she had been watching before she fell asleep. He concluded it must be a tv medical show of some sort. After about another hour, Wanda came through the hall, giving a smile towards Bucky with a nod as if to say she had it from here, before disappearing into the room. Bucky stood, watching the door close he caught a glimpse of Y/N sleeping soundly. He smiled, tucking his hands back in his pockets as he made his way back to his own room.

____________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @vicmc624 @the-ayo-lit @daddysfavoritesexkitten @springsoulofengland @tcc-gizmachine @taina-eny @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: In The Act {3}

Chris Evans x Famous OFC Cassia Drake

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Plenty of Words

Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: After the release of your hit movie “Roman Holiday,” you’ve become Hollywood’s new “It Girl.” Everyone wants a piece of you. While at a Hollywood event, you get pulled into an epic selfie similar to the one from the MET Gala with the megastars of Hollywood. The next day all anyone can talk about is this epic picture but not because of the star power in it, but what was happening in it.

Note: Yep, another one. 

**Loosely Edited/Proofread**

**Heavily Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊  ❤️❤️

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 

Thank god for slow mornings. You couldn’t think of the last time you were able to wake up without Pieter either standing over you or walking into your bedroom. He was the only one your mother trusted with you, and he just so happened to be a big shot entertainment manager. When you told your mother that you intended to pursue a career in acting, she was livid. She went on a tirade of the number of black actresses who either had to do questionable things to even have a minor break and those who just were used and turned away. She stressed the vast inequalities in the entertainment industry and worried for your mental and emotional health in the cruel industry. She didn't want you anywhere near the entertainment industry. She wanted you to fall into her second career field and be a lawyer.

 It took months of you doing it on your own before you got your first role, it was small, but you played the shit out of the third black friend to the white lead actress then did it again and again and again. After your fourth role, your mother came around and brought Pieter into the mix. You knew of him from the industry. He’d been in a few tabloid magazines standing next to a few actresses. Your mother introduced him as her school friend from back in the day. You wanted to question her, but you knew better than that and just accepted the story she fed you. You always suspected there was more to it. The two of them sat you down for three hours to have a meeting on your goals with the industry.

After you went on and on for an hour, they went on and on for the next two outlining what needed to happen, how you needed to take things seriously, and put thought into the roles you auditioned for and so on. By the end of the meeting, you were on information overload, and that was when your mother told you the only way she’d be okay with you in this cutthroat town was if Pieter managed you. There was nothing in you that wanted to say no, so you said yes. That was two years now, and it had been a rollercoaster from the beginning.

 Once in your kitchen still in your bra and panties, you perused the shelves in your fridge and took out the huge fruit salad you found there. After smelling it, you settled that it was still good and hopping onto the kitchen island and turned on the TV. As you ate, you flipped through the channels determined not to go to anything that required a brain cell. After a few moments of searching, you decided to finish the episode of Castlevania you’d started weeks ago.

 You got lost in the lore of the Dracula themed animated series and the deliciousness of the fruit you were eating. You’d tuned everything out so well that you didn’t even hear anyone approach.

 “Cassia!”

 “What!”

 You looked back to see Tiffany with her head poked around a corner looking at you.

 “I think you’re gonna want to come out here,” she said with a look on her face you didn’t recognize.

 “Uhh—why?”

“Just come look.” With that, her head was gone. Sighing, you pressed pause on the show, hopped off the counter, stabbed a piece of honeydew, and walked to where she’d disappeared. When you walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to your foyer, there sat a rather large floral arrangement.

 “What the fuck is this?”

 “What does it look like?”

 “Flowers,” you answered before you shoved the fruit in your mouth to stand beside Tiffany.

 “Duh.”

 “Who are they from?”

 You both stood there, just staring at it. They were gorgeous.

 “I don’t know. I have been trying not to grab the card,” tiffany added. You looked at her; there was a wide ass grin on her face.

 “It’s probably from Vouge thanking me for the photoshoot yesterday,” you surmised as you approached the arrangement. The scent of roses was powerful but not overwhelming.

 Grabbing the card, you glanced at the front to see your name written across it. You didn’t recognize the handwriting. When you opened it, you scanned the words written, expecting to see “thank you.” Instead, you saw the words, “I’m sorry.” Bringing the card closer to your face, you read the words. Each word you read, your eyes bugged out even more and more until your jaw had dropped.

 “What? Who’re they from?”

 “Not Vouge.” Tiffany walked to you and took the card from your hands and read it aloud.

 “Cassia, allow me to begin by extending my most sincerest apology to you for first my behavior the night of the fashion event and second the position I have put you in with the press. I am embarrassed and ashamed of my actions and behavior,” Tiffany began before she looked at you with eyes wide.

 “Is this who I think it is? Oh my god, Cass!”

 She dropped her eyes back to the card and continued. “I am embarrassed and ashamed of my actions and behavior, and I deeply regret them. I am very sorry, and I want you to know that in no way did I mean to objectify you or your body. I have two sisters and a strong Italian mother, and I was not raised that way at all. I hope that you can forgive me and my actions and not hold it against my family. Please accept these flowers as a token of my most heartfelt apology. Sincerely Chris Evans,” Tiffany finished with the squeal of his name.

 “Oh my god! Cass!”

 You’d been frozen in place for the last two minutes as she read the card. There were a plethora of things running through your head. One of which was the number of formal words he’d used.

 “Oh my fucking god! Cass, is this his handwriting? It looks like it could be, it’s legible. Oh my god.”

 You heard Tiffany reread the card, and as she did, you turned back to the flowers and observed them. You took notice that the flowers were all in your favorite colors. That made you wonder if he knew your favorite colors, or this was just a florist’s decision.

  “Why are you so quiet? Why aren’t you freaking out?”

 “Do you think he knows my these are my favorite colors?”

 Tiffany looked back to the arrangement then let out a “hmm.”

 “Do you think he specially researched you in order to send these? It is possible. this card sounds like he put a lot of thought into it.”

 You took the card from her and reread it for yourself. She was right; the handwriting wasn’t horrible, by no means was it gorgeous, but it was nice. You began to wonder if he had, in fact, written it himself.

 “Are you going to reply?”

 That was the million-dollar question. You didn’t see a need to. Even if you did, what what you say? Thank you, Mr. Evans, for apologizing for looking down my dress. Though I enjoyed the attention, and I am flattered, It was highly inappropriate? Somehow that didn’t seem right.

 “No need,” you answered before you walked away toward the kitchen and your fruit salad.

 “What!”

 Tiffany’s footsteps were loud as she trudged behind you.

 “Why wouldn’t you reply? This could be one of the cutest meet-cute stories for your grandkids.”

 “Oh my god, Tiff, grandkids? Are you insane right now?”

 “Girl, don’t even try and lie and say you don’t think the man is fine.”

 “I never said he wasn’t attractive.”

 “Attractive? Cassia Anjelique Drake, you know you a damn liar. The man is more than attractive. He is gorgeous,” Tiff corrected.

 “And he knows it, Tiffany. You can tell. I bet part of him thought he could have gotten away with x-ray visioning me, and no one would have called him out for it.”

 “Cass,” Tiff began before you cut her off.

 “—We’re not responding,” you finished turning back on Castelvania.

 You knew Tiffany did not approve and also knew you hadn’t heard the end of it. You tried to focus on the show, but it was useless. Your mind only wanted to think of one thing—or person. Chris Evans.

 Your day was just for meetings. Pieter had set you up with six meetings for the day. The first three were about movie roles he thought would suit your brand. They were all varying roles, one the lead in an action flick, another the love interest in a rom-com, and the third in a sci-fi type dramady. He said the worst thing in the world was being typecast. With Roman Holiday being a romcom, you knew he’d want your next role to be on the far opposite side of the spectrum.

The roles sounded exciting, and the scripts intrigued you. When they began talking about the expected salary for the films, you were impressed. They were practically throwing their money at you. You couldn’t believe the money actors actually received for a few months of work. Yeah, the schedule could be daunting and preparation never ending, but millions of dollars for maybe five to six months of work was just fine by you.

 After the three movie meetings where you agreed to take the scripts and reread them before you got back to them, you moved on to a meeting with your team to discuss the next three months for you while going over the last three months. This happened quarterly, and you found the meetings insightful. They kept you on track with your goals and kept things in perspective. Your mother always said you are only as good as a capable team around you.

Your team comprised of your agent, Eduardo, whose job was to hunt down all the roles he could for you and field calls and interest from anyone and everyone in the business. Second, your publicist Julez, her domain was everything concerning your PR. Her job was to make sure that everything about you in the public remained favorable. She was good at what she did, and took her job seriously. Then was your lawyer, Martin, who was the second-best entertainment lawyer in the business. The best as far as you were concerned was your mother. His job was to keep everything legal and make sure no one tried to take advantage of you business-wise. Fourth, was your accountant, Greg. He was your money man. He made sure every cent you agreed upon with your contracts, was sent to your bank account and that every dime in your account was accounted for at all times. He even helped you invest that money, so it always grew. Then came your part-time stylist, Frenchie. Her job was to keep you looking incredible when she was needed. Finally, there was Pieter who oversaw them all. Tiffany nicknamed them Star Team, in honor of your name.

Though you’d learned to listen and follow along when they talked, you had to admit most of the information was boring to you, so you often drifted off. You never felt guilty about it because Tiffany was always recording the meetings and inventorying them for you if you needed to reference them later.

 “Okay, is that all?” Pieter looked around at their faces around the conference table.

 “One more thing, Julez began. “Have you decided how you’d like to move forward with eh-em, Boobgate?”

 The murmurs around the desk picked up before Julez went on. “The media seemed to love your snarky, comedic comeback, Cassia. They are now doing most of the work for us by calling you good-spirited and easy-going for shrugging it off. A lot of the comments since are in good fun. I don’t see anything negative to come through, so I’m going to say we’re staying in good parameters. I have noticed though a great increase in searches about you and your overall name being mentioned. People love talking about you and Chris,” Juelz finished.

 “Why wouldn’t they? They look gorgeous together,” Frenchie added.

 “That seems to be the overall consensus. It is fascinating even those in his fandom do not seem to be spinning this negatively, which is always a concern with him and his team,” Juelz informed.

 That was not news to you. When you had yet to make your big break, you followed celebrity discourse, and the Chris Evans fandom was insane. It seemed any little thing set them off, and once a fire was sparked, it would burn for weeks. With your rising fame, you worried about things like that on your end and being swept up in someone else’s insanity.

 “So let’s leave it there. Let the media run with it where they will. We’ll do and say nothing on it. We’ll let this work for us,” Pieter finalized.

 Everyone nodded before he called an end to the meeting, and everyone began to leave the room. Before you left, Pieter took the time to remind you about your last meeting of the day and share the news about a few other side projects he’d been working on for you. He shared that within a week or two, he hoped to be able to share the full news but that he was excited at the turn talks had taken today. You were curious but knew if you asked him to elaborate, he would only shoo you away, promising it would be a good surprise. He had your mother’s trust and had earned yours, so you allowed him to keep his secrets—for now.

 After your last meeting, you found yourself home alone before midnight. This was the first time you'd been able to get any alone time. As you made it in your bedroom, you realized the flowers were now perched on your bedside table. They were even more beautiful in the glow of the moonlight that was shining through your balcony windows. Tiffany must have sent a message to the housekeeper to move them there.

 You took up the card and reread it, all the while smiling. It was a sweet apology note and a kind gesture. You were surprised Julez didn’t bring them up in the meeting until it dawned on you that either she didn’t know which meant they came directly from him and not his assistant or team or she didn’t want to put you on the spot. While she technically answered to Pieter, she knew your money was what paid her salary. That meant you and her had an understanding about your PR needs. You liked discretion on things that no one else needed to know. This—you didn’t want Pieter knowing about. There was no need for him to know. It meant nothing.

 The next day before you left your house, there was yet another bouquet and the card that accompanied it read; “Just in case you didn’t believe the first card I sent with the first arrangement I wanted to double down to make sure you knew that I am very much sorry.”

 Tiffany didn’t say one word, all she did was give you a look, and that one look said plenty of things in one. “Heifer, you better reply to that man and live your life while swinging from his chandelier butt ass naked.” You had no intention of doing anything that look said.

 The next day, another bouquet was waiting for you. this card was a little more amusing. “The first bouquet I could say you possibly didn’t receive. I know your life is busy, and anything can happen, but the second one, eh, less believable that you didn’t get no matter how much my pride is screaming at me that you didn’t just to save face. This one, I am sure you got, I had my assistant take care of it and attach a delivered and received receipt. So you responding is a purpose thing, and that makes me think I fucked up really bad, so bad that flowers won’t fix it, and you don’t forgive me. So I propose an alternative option. Allow me to apologize in person and explain myself. You pick the time and the place, and I’ll show up.”

 When Tiffany saw this one, she lost her shit. She went on a full twenty-minute speech on why you should respond and accept his proposal. She went through exhibits A to Z as to why this was a good idea. She conveniently skipped the letter P knowing damn well the only thing you both could think of was Pieter. You knew that if he knew about any of this, he would flip his lid. When she included in her argument that you could make all of his dreams come true that he’s had all his life but was too afraid to inquire about.

 You allowed her to go on her rant but still decided against responding or meeting him.

  ~~~~~~~~

-2 Days Later-

  “So Cassia, everyone wants to know about this picture that is still the talk of the town. You haven’t made a statement, Chris hasn’t made a statement. What gives?” Ryan Seacrest’s question had you giggling.

 “Nothing gives, Ryan. Not everything needs an explanation. Sometimes as humans, we have to learn to be okay with what is,” you philosophized.

 Silence stretched for a full ten seconds before everyone around you busted out laughing, including yourself.

 “Wow, I almost fell for that,” Ryan added, making you laugh louder.

 “Darn, I almost got away with it.”

 “You would have if I really didn’t want an answer,” Ryan slid in.

 “Ah, everyone wants an answer, Ryan. I don’t have an answer to give.”

 “You weren’t there?”

 “No. It was my twin sister, Alicia.”

 Another long stretch of silence filled the room. You could tell they were trying to figure out if you were telling the truth. “See, you guys are easy,” you teased, making them laugh again.

 “So, you’re really not going to make a statement?”

 ��I went to an event and met a lot of cool people and had a great time.”

 “Did you and Chris Evans leave together?”

 “Not at all.”

 “Did you exchange numbers?”

 “Nope.”

 Another silence befell the room, and you knew they didn’t believe you. For the next five minutes or so, you finished the interview while keeping tightlipped about the hottest topic. When you left, you were met with the paparazzi yet again, who were shouting new questions.

 “Cassia, are the rumors true?”

 “What rumors, guys?”

 “That you’re in a relationship with Captain America himself.”

 You tried to hide your shock before you quickly spoke.

 “Who said that?”

 Tiffany snorted beside you, no doubt thinking of her favorite gif.

 “It is all over social media,” one of the paparazzo informed.

 “That’s news to me,” you finished as your security got you to your truck. Before you got in one more question was screamed at you.

 “How’d it feel to have Captain America checking you out?”

 You couldn’t hide your smirk this time, and it was a smirk that only got bigger and bigger. Before you cheesed like a full-on idiot, you ducked in the truck.

 “Your smirk said it all,” Tiffany said as you facepalmed.

 After a quick trip to the market for some essentials, you made it home to finish reading the scripts you needed to have done in two days. When you walked inside, you ignored the second bouquet of flowers, Chris sent you the day after the first and went upstairs. Once in your bedroom, the third bouquet he sent yesterday caught your eye. The first one was a shock, the second a surprise, the third confusing.

 After your shower, you walked back into your bedroom to find another bouquet that wasn't there thirty minutes ago. You knew they were from him. This was now amusing. What was his angle, you thought to yourself as you crossed the room to the flowers. Taking a deep whiff of them, you moaned. You loved the scent of Gardenia. They always put you in the frame of mind of romance and sensual rolls in bed. With that thought, you paused. Was he trying to tell you something?

 Grabbing the envelope, you noted it was a lot bigger than the cards that accompanied the other bouquets. Once opening it, you saw a sheet of paper that felt heavier than standard paper, and with it came what you now knew was his handwriting. “Okay, after thinking about this for the last week trying to figure out what it is about me that you don’t like or won’t even entertain. Let’s start with the massive elephant in the room; I’m white.”

 You had to laugh out loud for that. After almost a full minute of laughter that made you have to sit on your bed, you continued. “I know a major turn off, and unfortunately, it’s not something I can change. However, I can assure you that though I am white aesthetically, I am not fully white in any other department, and yes, that includes dancing.”

 Again you laughed, dropping onto your back while flailing your legs in the air. He was on a roll; you thought before you continued. “Second, it must be you’re not into white guys. For that, the only thing I can offer is I’m not against wearing a paper bag to hide the fact that I am, in fact, white. It would be a case of none are the wiser. If, however, your gripe with me is my behavior from nights before, I promise I’m not a sleaze twenty-four hours of the day. I am capable of looking directly into your eyes for an entire conversation, I promise. Let me prove it to you. 424-947-5639.”

 Your jaw dropped. Chris freaking Evans just gave you his phone number. You couldn’t move for the next ten minutes. You just sat there in a stunned stupor. You couldn’t believe this was real. Half of you was fangirling because hello not too long ago; you were a fan. You still were. The other half was freaking out because Chris Evans just gave you his phone number. Was he just being friendly, or was he shooting his shot?

 MSG: Question.

MSG Tiff: Answer for two hundred Alex.

MSG: How does one shoot their shot?

MSG Tiff: What? Cass, has it really been that long since you’ve made the first move?

MSG: Do you know who you’re talking to? I’ve never made the first move. That is beside the point. I’m not talking about me shooting my shot. I mean when someone shoots their shot at you. What exactly does it look like?

 You saw the bubbles knowing she was probably writing a long ass message. Almost a minute later, the message came in.

 MSG Tiff: Uh, were you not present at the Laker’s game when the Sixers were in town, and Jonah Bolden stopped the game to come over and shoot his shot?

 You laughed. You hadn’t forgotten that, mainly because it was everywhere the next day. The two of you talked for a few weeks, but your schedule and his had things fizzling real quick.

 MSG: Yeah, but he was black, Tiff.

  That was when the facetime call came in. you rolled your eyes but answered it. “So are we asking what it looks like when a white guy shoots his shot? Is that to lead me to think you mean a particular America’s ass?”

 “Oh my god, Tiff. Just answer please,” you pleaded with exasperation.

 “I need to know who first. White guys shooting their shot do not come in one size fits all. So who?”

 Rolling your eyes again, you told her and prepared for the scream. It was as loud as expected.

 “Okay, I knew he was feeling you. A man doesn’t look at any ol breasts like that,” Tiffany joked before she continued. “He looks like he could have game, but it could be cheesy game. Did he send you more flowers?”

 You turned the camera to the new bouquet, and she melted. “Oh my god, those are to die for. They just get more and more beautiful. He definitely put research into this one. you love gardenias.”

 It was true, and the thought had crossed your mind. When she asked what the note said this time, you read it to her. It had her laughing just as hard and long. When you mentioned that he ended it with his number, she screamed again.

 “Call him!”

 “No!”

 “Cassiopeia Anjelique Drake! The man has shot his ultimate shot,” Tiffany shouted, using your entire full name.

 You rolled your eyes and dropped back onto your bed.

 “I can’t call. Pieter will freak,” you excused.

 “Fuck, Pieter!” It came from the depths of her soul, you could tell. “This is your life, your pussy!”

You face palmed yourself again. She had to go there.

 “I’m serious. I know you’ve heard the rumors from that comedian he dated, and he swears his fingering is accurate, and you have seen his beard. A man with a beard like that is good for one thing.”

 You screamed and died again. She was in prime form right now.

 “Cassia.”

 Groaning, you sat up and sighed out. “I gotta go Tiff, I’m supposed to have a video conference in ten minutes, and I’m sitting here in a towel. I’ll call you later.”

 “When you call me, you better be telling me that you talked to that man,” Tiffany shouted out as you were ending the facetime call.

 You quickly got yourself together, and presentable then made it to your office to prep for the conference with the scripts. Seeing how far behind you were with the scripts, you show the participants a quick email to push it back by a few hours. Then you buckled down to actually get some work done instead of thinking about the real reason Chris Evans had a beard.

Two hours later, you were on the conference and going through the script line for line, film direction after direction. If one script would have taken an hour to go through, then three took you triple the time. By the time you’d finished for the day, you were all talked out, exhausted, and starving. Glancing at your phone, you saw missed calls from Tiffany and your mother and groaned at the fact that it was after one in the morning. If you’d have known following your dreams meant bye-bye to normal sleep hours, then you may have thought twice.

With the craving for the most unhealthy crap raging within you, you got into your car and went for a drive. While the time meant not many were out, you knew anywhere in the heart of LA would be a mistake. You drove half an hour out of the way to Pasadena to the burger spot you found by accident. It was no Shake Shake, but it offered two of your favorite things in one place, Burgers and Pies.

 As you walked inside the small shop, you smiled, grateful it was practically empty. You walked to the back of the retro style burger joint and sat in the last booth. Deciding it was safe to drop your disguise, you took off your hat and sunglasses and took a deep breath of the glorious smell of burger and pies. You weren’t waiting long before a waitress came over with a note pad.

“Welcome. Can I take your order?”

 “Yes, the Big Ben burger with the works, please.” She looked at you like you were insane.

 “Are you sure? That’s a big plate,” she warned. You smiled and nodded.

 “Oh yeah. I haven’t eaten all day,” you assured.

 “Okay. How would you like it?”

 “Very well done, please.”

 She nodded as she jotted your order down. “Anything to drink?”

 “Ginger Ale with a lemon slice, please,” you finished before she nodded and walked away.

 You really liked this place. It was one of the few places that still had a jukebox. Digging into your purse, you pulled out a quarter then walked to the device that wasn’t too far from the booth you’d chosen. As you perused the selections of old and new music, you tried to gauge the mood you were in. It had been a while since you were able to sneak away on your own. You were in the mood for some relaxation but a bit of fun. You tapped in the key combination and turned the knob, and waited for the tune to play. When the oldie by Rihanna “Pon de Replay” came on, you began flicking your hips from side to side until you began winding it.  You heard the distant ring of a bell that signified someone else had entered the restaurant, but it didn’t register, you were too into the song.

 When you really got into it, you dipped it low as instructed and began singing along. That was when your entire body got into it, and you tapped into your own inner bad gyal. When you turned around, you yelped loudly, drawing the attention of the waitstaff to you. Before you stood the person, you least expected to see. The crooked quirk of his lip gave him the most roguish look you’d ever seen, a look that shouldn’t have turned you on the way it had—but it did.

 “Don’t stop on my account,” Chris teased with an impossibly deep voice. It never sounded that deep in interviews, you thought to yourself before your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. His cerulean eyes fell from yours to your mouth, and you watched as his tongue slowly slid across his lips. Your nipples beaded painfully, and you didn’t need to look down to know that if anyone looked, it would be more than noticeable.

 Why are you turned on right now, you questioned in your head. There was no logical reason for it. Yes, he smelled—incredible. There was no way anyone should smell that good; it was impossible. He smelled like fruits, sea salt, sunshine, vanilla, and a very appealing musk. He smelled like he took four showers a day and took pride in being groomed to perfection. The more you thought about it, the harder your nipples got.

 “Cat got your tongue?”

 Clearing your throat, it came out most exaggeratedly with a long high pitch. Chris’s brows wrinkled as he looked at you as if there might have been something wrong with you.

 “Uh—are you okay?”

 Instead of words, it was terrifying giggles that came out, making you sound like a deranged, cackling Hyena. The look on Chris’s face only became more concerned. You cleared your throat again this time more naturally and straightened your back.

 “What’re—what’re you doing—here?”

 “In a public restaurant?”

 “Yeah, this public space,” you clarified before you crossed your arms over your breasts. “It’s mine.”

 “Yours? You own it?”

 “No, but it’s my secret place.”

 “Ah, I see. If it was so much of a secret, then how did I find it?”

 He was contesting you, challenging you. It was at this moment you got the vibe from him that he was the type of man who liked to debate, compete, and win. A man like that should have had your red flags blaring, but no red flags were waving. The only thing that was waving in front of you was a deep curiosity to know this man in a way that you hadn’t wanted to know anyone before.

 Shrugging, you walked back to your table and sat. He approached you all the while, never taking his eyes off of you. You bit your bottom and tried to keep your thoughts boring. Before either of you could speak again, the waitress came back with your order.

 “Big Ben burger with the works and fries and a ginger ale with lemon slices.”

 When she put it down, she looked to Chris, who dipped his head low and pulled down his hat. The woman looked as if she might have recognized him, but she didn’t speak; she just peered closer. You cleared your throat and slid your plate closer. It was enough to distract the woman.

 “Will there be anything else, honey?”

 “No, thank you.”

 “And you? Will you be staying or going?”

 Chris looked to you with one eyebrow raised. Your eyes met, and you saw the question in them. It was a mix of a question and a challenge. He expected you to answer. It would give you the control of the situation, and it would also make it so you’d have to blatantly turn him down in front of his face rather than ignoring him as you’d been doing the last few days. You bit your bottom lip and took a deep breath. You had enough balls to turn him down right here. You’d done worse to other guys—a lot worse. The question was, did you want to do it to him.

 When you locked eyes with him again, an amused smile spread across his lips. You bit your bottom lip again and sighed.

 “He will be staying,” you answered.

 The waiter looked to you then to him and nodded. Chris slid into the booth before you still keeping eye contact. The longer he looked at you; the more unnerved you became.

 “All right, what can I get you sugar?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!***

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***There are a few that are bold that I tried to tag but your @ wasn’t coming up. I’m not sure why. I’m sorry.***

[blanchimont]

sober up

characters: jeon wonwoo x female reader

genre: college au, slight angst

warnings: alcohol consumption, cursing

word count: 5.5k

summary: as much as you want to deny that what you feel for wonwoo is just a stupid little crush, your heart breaks and you have the strong urge to cry nonetheless whenever you think of him. 

note: i wrote this the entire day while paying barely any attention to my online classes lmao pls enjoy <3 

“So what are your thoughts about Wonwoo?” Mingyu offhandedly asks you as the both of you ate breakfast before heading for your 9AM class. He doesn’t miss the way you whirl the spoon inside your coffee mug a bit stronger than you’d like, causing some of the liquid to drip out onto the tabletop. He doesn’t say anything about it and just waits for you to answer.

“Thoughts as in...what do you mean?” You ask in response, briefly glancing at the man in front of you before looking away to drink your coffee that was still a little bit too hot. You frown behind the mug and you aren’t so sure if it’s because you almost burned your mouth or it’s because of the intention behind your best friend’s question.

“You know what I mean,” Mingyu sighs. 

No, I don’t know what you mean. You think to yourself, but you don’t want to say that out loud especially with how intimidating Mingyu looks like right now. You feel like you’re being interrogated for a crime you don’t know you committed—okay, but maybe you did do something for him to stare at you like that.

The thing is, you pride in yourself for always being a responsible drinker. Whenever your friends would invite you to join them have dinner and drink to end the stressful week in college, you often end up being one of the most sober-looking people among your peers by the end of the night. One bottle of alcohol is enough for you to feel buzzed, and sometimes you don’t even get to finish the entire bottle. Because of that, you sort of feel proud that you’ve never done anything foolish yet while intoxicated, unlike your friends who had you doubling over in laughter, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes because of how stupid and scandalous they can get when they’ve had too much alcohol in their system.

It just so happens—and you swear you have no idea why—that you decided to drink more than you could last weekend while out with Mingyu and the rest of his friend group who adopted you, and suddenly you had more friends than you ever anticipated.  

It’s not that you did something so scandalous, but you do feel embarrassed because it was so...out of character for you to do it. You really wanted to blame Soonyoung for asking you that question, but you also blame yourself for losing the filter in your mouth that you ended up answering him way too honestly for your liking. 

“—Okay, okay that’s enough Seokmin. How about you,” Soonyoung calls your attention and you wince at how you immediately felt your world spinning when you turned to your left to look at him. The boy laughs at your dazed state before continuing, “What do you think of our Wonwoo over here?” 

You stare at the said boy who half-absentmindedly drank the entire can of beer in one go. You think he’s acting like he didn’t hear Soonyoung ask the question but you’re aware that he’s also waiting for you to say something. 

And even before you could stop yourself to organize the thoughts inside your head because holy shit—he looks a hundred times more attractive tonight and you aren’t sure anymore if your head is spinning because of the alcohol or because of the way Wonwoo just looks so insanely beautiful—the answer you give Soonyoung leaves everyone on the table looking at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“He’s insanely attractive. I think I have a crush on him, actually.” You’re drunk as fuck but you’re also hyperaware that Wonwoo’s staring at you. So you chug down the remaining alcohol left in your bottle. You wanted to dig your own grave right then and there. 

You grimace when you see Mingyu leaning closer to get your attention back. He raises his eyebrows at you and you wish you just really ended up blacking out that night so you could use the I-don’t-remember-what-happened card on him. 

“I think Wonwoo’s a really nice and thoughtful friend, even if there’s this weird...mysterious aura to him. He listens well to the people around him,” you finally answer your friend. Suddenly you want the time to go faster so Mingyu could no longer interrogate you and you can finally head to your creative nonfiction class. 

Mingyu stops acting like you committed a crime and continues eating the pasta in front of him. “I’m sure you know you said a different answer last Saturday.”

“Look,” you drop the fork on your plate and sigh. “I was drunk, okay? Had way too much alcohol than I anticipated. I didn’t—”

“You didn’t mean it?” Mingyu squints his eyes at you.

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Is it wrong to say I have a crush on one of your close friends? Am I breaking a best friend code between us that I didn’t know about?” 

You sound defensive and you hate how high your voice got the more you bombarded Mingyu with questions. He was really good at riling you up so early in the morning. 

“It’s not that,” your friend shakes his head and finishes up his food. You still haven’t consumed even half of yours. “I actually approve of the two of you, just so you know.”

“What the fuck, Mingyu. It’s just a stupid crush.” 

“Yeah it sure is.” You really hate how he’s narrowing his eyes at you right now. “Then why are you avoiding each other? It’s been four days and it’s fucking annoying already.” 

“I’m not avoiding him. Midterms just ended and finals are around the corner sooner than you’d like. We’re all busy. And I don’t want to bring up to him what I said. That was so out of character for me to do.” 

“Okay, but it’s driving me insane that the both of you have been acting strangely since then.” Mingyu rubs his hands over his face. 

You pause. “What do you mean Wonwoo’s been acting strange?”

“Since that Saturday night I’ve been trying to bring you up in our conversations just to get a reaction out of him.” You roll your eyes, what an idiot. “I know you guys didn’t talk about what happened afterwards. Either he flinches or makes this weird face or flees the moment I mention you.”

“Mingyu you’re a fucking idiot.”

“You are too. I am aware that you hate talking about your feelings and I would be proud of you for saying that last Saturday because that was such a huge step in getting out of your comfort zone but you were stupidly  drunk and the both of you acted like nothing happened.”

Mingyu’s right and this very fact pisses you off. You were never good at verbally expressing your true, honest, and raw feelings towards anyone. It physically and mentally pains you to do so. Sometimes you want to blame your upbringing, how showing any signs of emotions ranging from affection to sadness to anger seemed very taboo within your family. It left you unable to sort your own feelings out as you grew up, so now you ended up being too quiet, dishonest, and afraid of being vulnerable in front of anyone. But you don’t really want to blame anything or anyone else because for fuck’s sake, you’re already in your twenties and it’s about time that you should be more responsible. Yet you’re aware that you’re acting childish around Mingyu because he’s confronting you about something you didn’t want to deal with ever. 

“But Gyu,” you take a deep breath, suddenly feeling anger bubbling inside of you. You don’t even know why. “It’s just a stupid crush. It’s not a big deal.” 

There you are again, downplaying and being in denial of your own feelings. You know it’s not just a stupid crush. You’ve been head over heels for Wonwoo since Mingyu introduced you to his friend group. You’ve been head over heels for him ever since he sat beside you in silence to keep you company while the rest of the boys went crazy in front of the karaoke, unintentionally leaving you out because they were having so much fun and it’s not their fault and it’s okay because Wonwoo’s beside you. He’s been occupying your thoughts ever since he showed you the brightest smile you’ve seen from him when he spotted you sitting alone at the second row of the lecture hall, taking the seat next to you so you wouldn’t feel too lonely when no one else wanted to sit near the front. You felt so embarrassed after noticing that Wonwoo had to make himself feel smaller in his chair so he wouldn’t block anyone behind him while the professor droned on and on about art history. He really didn’t have to keep you company at the expense of sitting comfortably in class. You couldn’t stop thinking of him ever since he let you borrow some of his books, and you didn’t even ask him to do it but you figured he did it anyway because you said you needed inspiration for your creative writing class. And you wanted to cry because you think you’re in love with the way his mind works after realizing that the books he lent you were really good. You like him so much and you feel insane for feeling this way because it’s only been a few months since you’ve known him and the two of you don’t really talk as often as you wished you would so you can get to know him better, but that doesn’t stop you from catching these unnecessary feelings for him—

“But would you date him if you had the opportunity?” Mingyu interrupts your train of thought. 

Alright, that’s enough. You stand up and fix the things inside your bag, preparing to leave and head for your class. “I would but I don’t really want to date right now, not ever. You know I told you that already.”  

“You wouldn’t even give him a chance?” Mingyu pouts and mirrors your actions as he realizes that the conversation really isn’t heading where he wanted it to.

“I just casually confessed that I have a crush on him. Stop making a big deal out of it. That’s all I did that night, alright?”

You don’t miss the way Mingyu stares at you for a moment before he nods and leads the two of you out of the cafe. You swallow the lump in your throat because you have this ugly, terrifying feeling that Mingyu knows something you don’t, that there’s more to just you drunkenly saying you liked Wonwoo. 

And now you’re starting to doubt if you really remembered how things played out that night. 

You bump into Wonwoo sooner than you wanted to. And you feel stupid because your first instinct upon seeing him walking down the hallway towards your direction was to turn the other way around and take the other flight of stairs, even if it meant consuming more travel time to head to your next class that was starting in ten minutes.

You almost let out a sigh of relief because you successfully avoided confronting Wonwoo—or so you think. You jump when you feel warm fingers wrap around your wrist and you nearly bump into the chest of the man you wanted to run away from when you turn around. 

“Hi, sorry about that,” you mumble as you take a step backwards to give him more space. He was wearing a plain oversized gray shirt, black jeans, and a worn out beanie. If this was any other guy on campus, you would’ve rolled your eyes at how he lacks good fashion sense and how he dresses so similarly like all the other college boys (except Minghao, god bless that man). But this is Wonwoo and you have this urge to cry because he looks ridiculously good in whatever type of clothing he wears, and it’s not fair—

“It’s fine. Are you heading towards your next class?” 

You are about to answer him but the classroom next to where the two of you are standing just got dismissed, so there is a surge of students leaving and occupying the already cramped hallway. You almost lose your mind when you feel Wonwoo’s hand on your arm, pulling you close to him after a huge guy bumped into you and left without an apology. 

Wonwoo stares at you like he wants to say something else, but before he could, you stop him because you aren’t sure if you’re ready for that. “Yeah, it starts real soon, actually. I should leave.”

You don’t even realize that his hand is still resting on your arm until he dropped it and put some distance between the two of you. “Right. I shouldn’t keep you waiting.”

But Wonwoo does nothing but just stands in front of you. You have half the mind to apologize for what you said last Saturday night, then you realize that what will probably come out next from your mouth is to tell him to forget about it. But you honestly, honestly do not want him to forget about what you said. Yet you aren’t also prepared to face the repercussion of your actions. So you nod your head and think that it’s best to act like nothing happened. 

“I’ll...see you around then.”

You think you see Wonwoo’s smile falter slightly, but when you blink he’s already grinning at you. “Okay, bye.”

You turn around and your legs feel like jelly as you walk down the stairs. You have the urge to stop halfway just to cry and you don’t even know why you want to. But you’re running late for your class, so you pick up your pace so no one would steal your seat in the front row. 

Maybe you aren’t sure whether it was worse pretending like nothing happened than just explicitly telling Wonwoo to forget that you ever confessed that you have a huge crush on him. 

You refused to see Wonwoo around after that encounter.

Mingyu invited you to hang out with the boys at Vernon’s place, yet even before he could spill all the details about who’s coming and who’s not, you reject his offer, making an excuse that you still have a case report to finish even though you’ve already submitted that two days ago. 

“You’re not avoiding Wonwoo hyung, are you?” He stares at you as he leans against the door frame of your bedroom. He is dressed so nicely and you want to compliment him but he’s beginning to piss you off again. 

“Mingyu.” You whirl around in your desk chair and stare at him.

Despite your threatening tone, he pushes himself off the doorframe and sits on your bed. “You’re really annoying whenever you start crushing on someone, you know?” 

You don’t say anything and turn around to put your attention back on your laptop. But the next words that escape Mingyu’s lips leave you frozen in your seat.

“I’m actually starting to think what you feel for hyung is more than just a crush. Like, you seriously like him.”

Since when the fuck was Mingyu this perceptive of your feelings? You feel nervous at your discovery, because perceptive Mingyu means he is going to probe into things you usually keep stashed away from your consciousness. He’s known you for so long that he knows that you have troubles when it comes to dating. It’s not because you’ve had extremely bad experiences before—it’s actually the opposite of it. You’ve never been into any romantic relationship because you believe no one’s ever shown interest in you. You let people’s comments about how cold, intimidating, and unapproachable you are get into your head that you are convinced that no one will like you for who you are. You used to be afraid and insecure that you’ll end up alone, but you’re older and busier now and you’ve come to accept that maybe dating and finding someone who loves you in that way won’t ever be meant for you. 

You ignore Mingyu and try your best to focus on reading your lecture notes. You can hear rustling on your bed and you figure that your friend lied down. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I think the two of you look good together.”

Your hands itch and you want to throw your pen at Mingyu, but it’s childish to lash out at him. You roll your eyes instead. “I am starting to think you’re the one who likes Wonwoo, especially with the way you keep bringing him up in our conversation.”

“Why can’t you just be brave for once and acknowledge your feelings? Stop pushing them away. You’ll only end up hurting yourself.” You’re shocked at how fast Mingyu moved from your bed to your desk. He’s so much taller than you and he looks intimidating again with how he towers over you while you timidly sit on your chair. 

“Can we please not talk about this? I don’t want you or me to be in a bad mood. You’re hanging out with the boys soon.” 

“Alright, just answer this one last question before I go.”

You gulp and nod your head because you don’t have any choice left but to concede. 

“Why did you and Wonwoo hyung kiss that night and then act like nothing happened when it’s obviously bothering the both of you? I know you’re not the type to act so recklessly and kiss any random people because romantic relationships are uncharted territory for you but Wonwoo hyung is no stranger so why—”

“Wait, what?” You feel your head spinning and there’s this heavy weight pressing on your chest that goes all the way down to your stomach. You want to throw up.

“What?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You think you give Mingyu the shock of his life with how high the pitch of your voice got. But you belatedly realize that it is probably because of how angry and confused you look like right now.

It is Mingyu’s turn to roll his eyes at you. “Don’t use the ‘I-don’t-remember-what-happened’ card on me—”

“No what the fuck seriously, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” There are tears in your eyes and Mingyu gets startled but stays frozen in his spot. You feel so ashamed that whenever you think of Wonwoo you have this urgent need to just break down and cry. Maybe it’s your hormones—you tend to get extremely emotional when you’re nearing your period—or maybe everything about Wonwoo simply makes you sob. 

And then it dawns on you how stupid you were when you got drunk that night. Not only did you casually drop the “I have a crush on you bomb” on Wonwoo but you also kissed him? Kissing someone while drunk is totally out of character for you and you want to slam your head against the wall because you seem to never make any good decision when it involves Wonwoo. 

Your mind is reeling. You begin thinking that Wonwoo hated the confession and the kiss that’s why he never touched on the topic afterwards. Or maybe he wanted to ask you about it when you bumped into each other a few days ago but he sensed that you wanted to run away. Either way, none of you are handling the situation properly (how the fuck are you supposed to handle it anyway?) and you’re afraid that if you don’t do anything about it soon, things are going to get awkward between you two and if not, you’re going to have to live the rest of your life regretting not saying anything and watch Wonwoo move on with his life as if that incident never happened at all. After all, it’s easy to brush it off and say it was a drunken mistake.

The heavy weight on your chest is pressing on you again. Mingyu’s right, you’re always afraid of confronting your own feelings. The moment you realize that you’re catching feelings for someone, you run away even before you can figure out if the person feels the same way or not. So you end up alone, always standing at the side as you watch your friends get into relationships and look so happy. You always walk silently behind one of your friends and their significant other, not wanting to disturb them. You learn to look away without feeling bitter when couples around you share a quick hug or kiss. You get used to sharing a car ride with your friends and their partners, sitting alone in the backseat in the dark as you laugh along with their ridiculous jokes. 

You’re used to being alone while your friends find people who love them unconditionally. You’re happy for them each time it happens—you really are—but sometimes there’s this ugly lump in your throat that forms once your mind starts imagining what it feels like to be in their shoes. And then the dread settles when reality catches on to you and tells you that you won’t ever experience that. 

The first time you bare your heart out even just slightly happens with Wonwoo. You’re upset that you’re drunk when it happened, but you’re also relieved because you aren’t sure if you want to know what else went down that night, if you said more to him, and if he said anything at all. 

It takes you a while before you realize that Mingyu’s wiping away the tears that spilled from your eyes. He’s wrapping his arms at you so tightly and it’s so warm and you want to cry even more when he starts apologizing profusely for being so pushy about the topic. 

The next time you’re invited to hang out with the boys, you don’t have the heart in you to reject the offer again because it’s Soonyoung’s birthday. And although you want to blame the boy for asking that question which started all of this emotional mess inside of you, you have a soft spot for him and you’d hate to see him get sulky around you when you turn him down.

Since the night Mingyu revealed that you and Wonwoo apparently kissed, you’ve only seen the latter twice. The first time was in a coffee shop. You had a thirty-minute break before your next class starts and you were really hungry and sleep-deprived, so you stand in line as you stare at the menu with hazy eyes. As you tap your foot while you glare at the back of the head of the person in front of you, your eyes accidentally look at the source of noise on your right. There,  you see Wonwoo sitting on a table with five other people you don’t know, except for Junhui. You feel your eyes twitch when you realize that a girl was sitting so comfortably close next to Wonwoo and you want to look away but the boy is already looking up at locking eyes with you. You almost pretend you don’t see him—that’s what you always do when you walk past people you know because you don’t have an idea whether you should greet them or not—yet Wonwoo flashes you a small smile before paying attention again to what their group was discussing. 

This heavy feeling in your chest comes back and you’re afraid that the distance between the two of you grows wider sooner than you want to. 

And your fear is further reinforced the second time you see him that same week.  

It’s not like Wonwoo always sits beside you in your art history class to keep you company inside the large lecture hall. It probably happened only five times because on most meetings, either Wonwoo comes later than you and there is already someone else sitting next to you, or you spot him sitting at the back of the room and you refuse to go all the way to his row because you prefer being closer to the front. Yet what hurts this time around is you arrive earlier than Wonwoo and you’re sitting alone in your row again but when he arrives, his eyes don't even search the lecture hall for you like he used to, and instead he walks up straight to the back of the room. No one sits next to you for the whole period and even though it usually didn’t bother you, you left the class feeling like shit because someone always used to make you feel less lonely. 

So far, Soonyoung’s birthday celebration is going well. You and Wonwoo shared polite smiles but for most of the night, you mingled with completely separate people. Mingyu no longer gives you knowing glances because he still feels guilty about making you cry, but you brush off his very cautious attitude around you and just choose to stick by his side the whole night. 

You don’t know where things went wrong but as the night deepened, you suddenly found yourself sitting on one of the benches in the backyard alone with Wonwoo. And you’re drunk, again. 

You’re stupidly laughing at Soonyoung who looks like he is on the verge of crying as he defended himself in a game of mafia. You are the first one to get killed because the first round is boring and they randomly decided to gang up on you, so you leave the circle and head back to the kitchen to get more soju to drink. When you come back, Wonwoo is already eliminated and he’s sitting on the bench you mentally reserved for you to occupy alone. 

You’re too exhausted to avoid him so you sit on the bench either way. “I called dibs on this bench first.”

Wonwoo pushes up his eyeglasses. “Your name isn’t written here.”

You snort and drink from the bottle. You don’t say anything else and just watch the rest of your friends accuse and betray one another. You think that Wonwoo does the same and you turn to him to check his reaction when Mingyu sets himself up to get killed by the rest but your heart drops when you realize that the boy is already staring at you. “What?”

“Did you mean it last time?” 

And there it was again—the urge to run away. The beating of your heart against your chest drowns the loud yelling of the boys and you can only focus on Wonwoo’s unreadable face. He’s really beautiful and it’s upsetting. 

You tear your eyes from him to look up at the clear night sky. You wonder if you should just bite the bullet and be honest with your feelings this time. You’re shitscared you’re going to fuck this up so you down some more soju before replying. Your voice suddenly sounds so small. “It’s just a crush. Sorry if I’m making you feel uncomfortable about it.”

It was silent for a while and you brace yourself for the worst, for the part where Wonwoo admits he did feel uncomfortable and says that it’s better that they just forget about it. You prepare to take a deep breath to prevent tears from forming as you absentmindedly listen to Wonwoo turn you down. But it doesn’t happen.

“Do you tend to kiss people you crush on?” Wonwoo’s eyes are still on you and you really want to hide now. 

“I’m sorry about that,” you mutter quickly. Your grip on the bottle tightens because you can feel that you’re trembling. “I don’t have a clear memory of that happening but nonetheless I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

Wonwoo scoots closer to you and you want to put some distance but the armrest stops you from doing so. He is sitting too close to you and you hate how it feels like your senses have been dialed up to eleven. Even without looking, you can feel his intense gaze on you, his warmth lightly touching you, his breath fanning your face, everything. “But did you mean it?” 

You let out a shaky breath. Mingyu’s voice saying you’ll get hurt if you keep pushing your feelings away rings loudly in your ears. You’re already in your twenties and you should be more mature in talking your feelings out but you’re just so so afraid of everything. Wonwoo’s just asking you a question but it feels like you’re going to be executed if you say the wrong answer. Never in your life have you ever been honest with your feelings towards anyone. You have yet to face rejection because you would never say anything, but you know you won’t like the taste of it. 

You stare at Wonwoo and you realize once again that you never make good decisions whenever it involves him. To hell with it. 

“Yes.”

For a fleeting moment you’re afraid Wonwoo didn’t hear you because your voice was barely above a whisper, but what happens next makes you drop your soju bottle on the grass. 

Wonwoo’s lips are on yours and the way you’re holding on to his jacket for dear life brings you back to a distant yet familiar memory, one where you’re clinging on to Wonwoo’s shoulders as he cups your face in his hands and kisses you breathless. You can faintly remember that Saturday night, how you and Wonwoo separated from the group after your drunken confession. If you try harder maybe you’d remember what words were exchanged between the two of you before you tiptoed and placed your lips on his, but the way Wonwoo’s gently biting on your lower lip right now while caressing your sides makes your brain swim inside your skull. You decide not to think anymore and relax yourself against him, kissing him back with the same fervor. You decide to ignore the howling noises your friends are making while Wonwoo kisses you harder as if he hasn’t already been doing that. You decide to focus on his lips on yours and his arms wrapped tightly around you, because that’s all that matters. 

You still think you’re dreaming because after that kiss, you and Wonwoo don’t exchange that much words except you finally having the courage to tell him how much he makes you feel happy and less lonely, how much you want to know him better, and how much you don’t want him to be so far from you. You remember Wonwoo reciprocating, saying that he’s been interested in you ever since Mingyu introduced you to the boys. You look shocked when he says that, and he pouts when he realizes that aside from the kiss that Saturday night, you also don’t remember him confessing to you. And then you feel like shit for handling this mess improperly, so you kiss him again as a form of apology. Wonwoo kisses you back to tell you that it’s fine. 

A large pillow hitting the side of your head snaps you out of your thoughts and you turn to glare at Mingyu who is leaning against your doorframe. “Was that necessary?”

Your friend rolls his eyes at you and enters your room to pick the pillow up from the floor. “Yes, because you look stupid smiling alone.”

You snatch the pillow from his hands and smack him upside the head. “You’re annoying.”

“Thanks, you’re such a lovely friend. After everything I’ve done for you,” Mingyu pouts. You pay no attention to his annoying face so he turns to leave but stops when the doorbell rings. You freeze and look up at your friend. 

“Oh yeah, I invited your boyfriend over.” 

“Without telling me?!” You hastily stand up from your chair to put on a hoodie and fix your hair, cursing Mingyu in the process for acting like he also lives in your apartment, inviting people over whenever he wants to. 

“I said I was going back home over the weekend and I thought you would be lonely in your apartment without me bothering you, so I invited Wonwoo to keep you entertained.” There’s a smirk on his face and you push him out of your room until you reach the main door of your place. 

“You’re fucking annoying,” you pinch Mingyu’s side and he yelps as you open the door to kick him out. You don’t feel sorry when he bumps into Wonwoo in the process. 

“You’re so ungrateful!” Mingyu fixes his shirt and pats Wonwoo on the back. “Take care of her hyung. I’ll see you both around!” 

When your best friend finally disappears down the hall, you let Wonwoo into your place. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he echoes.

You smile up at him as you grab his hand. You’re convinced you’re still dreaming, but when Wonwoo brings your hand to his lips to place featherlight kisses on your knuckles, you wake up and then the heavy weight on your chest disappears. Reality catches on to you and tells you that everything will be alright, because Wonwoo’s here. 

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Enemies to Lovers

Enemies to lovers, Enemies to friends to lovers. Hate/angry. Smut and no smut. And WIPs. Under a read more:

********** SMUT **********

The lie I didn't have to tell. by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (925 words) - Isak has an adultery kink that Even is happy to oblige. 

Chapter 2 of Smutty Tumblr Prompts and Drabbles by isaksforelsket (2k words - It’s not that Even hated Isak Valtersen; he just strongly disliked him and his face, his attitude, his personality, and… okay so maybe he does hate him. Whatever. 

I'm all yours by Skamtrash (2.7k words) - hate/jealous. - bad boy even+ rough sex. 

Blood Rushed by folerdetdufoler (3.6k words) - Linn moved out of their flat a couple of months ago, and Isak and Eskild have been looking for someone to replace her. They were running out of money and options, so Eskild made a decision for the both of them. Isak was not happy when Even showed up in his hallway with five suitcases and his own key. 

a little something (to make me sweeter) by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (4.5k words) - I wouldn't call it a feud exactly," Isak says and tries not to shift uncomfortably in his seat. It's one of his obvious tells and one that Sana has been trying to train him out of for quite some time. 

lucky strike by Skamtrash (5.5k words) - Isak has hated Even the first day he met him on campus. And apparently Even is the new kid his friends are obsessed with.

New Perceptions by Skamtrash (9k words) - Isak hates frat boys. Even is in a frat and wants Isak. 

A Thin Line Between Hate and… Other Stuff by TheFilthWithin (Flatfootmonster) (14k words) - Isak is studying while working at a coffee shop. His life is Ok... ish. Filled with lies, mocchiato's, and hook ups, fate storms in and lends a hand in the shape of Mr Spielberg, AKA film director Even. 

I call'em as I see'em...But Sometimes I Don't See So Well by HazyCosmicJive (16k words) - Isak just wants to study, he doesn't want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience 

take my hand, take my whole life too by shadesofcool (16k words) - "Isak Valtersen?" Even snorts, shaking his head. "He's the most arrogant asshole I've ever met." 

Hail Mary Pass by thekardemomme (20k words) - the term hail mary pass has become generalized to refer to any last-ditch effort with little chance of success. sleeping with isak valtersen until time starts running out is what causes even to realize just how vital these passes can be. 

I Can't Fall In Love With Him, Stop Me From Falling by bashfulisak (25k words) - Prince Isak of Norway is set to be married to Princess Eva in three weeks time, with the proposal happening only days after the announcement. When Princess Eva and her family arrive with their gardener, Even, Isak can barely stand him strutting around his palace, getting in the way of the gardening work his friend Jonas has already done. 

Not in the stars to hold our destiny by Stria (Asia117) (30k words) - “What the fuck,” Even murmurs, and Isak almost wants to mock him, but he refrains. He’s not 16 anymore. “Everything okay, Isak?” “Peachy.” Isak doesn’t look at him. “Go find someone else to talk to.” 

An Officer And A Gentleman by Jamz24 (34k words) - Isak Valtersen and Even Bech Naesheim are the two best cadets at Oslo Military Academy - but they hate each other's guts. When they're stranded together in a snowy wilderness they have to work together to survive - but CAN they? 

what i like about you by cammm (44k words) - might be mild smut. Insane infatuations turns into a short lived mutual distaste. Until that mutual distaste quickly shifts into something more. 

For His Love to Flee by wyoheartsmusic (48k words) - in a world where vampires hide, two lost souls find each other. 

Masquerade by Sabeley (53k words) - Isak and Even were best friends before one botched mission tore them apart. When they are assigned to go undercover as newlyweds at an oceanside resort where couples are going missing, can they put their differences aside for long enough to solve the case?

Red roses & cotton candy by dantetrieswriting (56k words) - A rose. He gave Isak a fucking red rose. Doesn't matter, Isak was still not interested. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself. 

Legitimate Expectations by champagneleftie (57k words) - might be mild smut. It's a good time to be Isak Valtersen. The up-and-coming Norwegian authority on matters of freedom of press, several Supreme Court wins already on his resume - and still barely thirty. He's carved out a place in the world that he never thought he'd reach, but sometimes that place just feels a little too small and rigid. Enter Even.

mørketid by panshambles (61k words) -  DELETED

717 Miles by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (114k words) - Isak Valtersen has 3 weeks left of school. He has to survive 3 more weeks. Make it through 21 more days of hell. Then he is going to hide out in his room for the rest of the summer until he can figure out how to get his life back on track. Find a school far far away where he can start over. Not make mistakes. He doesn't need a fucking babysitter. He just doesn't. His life is fucked up enough as it is.

The trip to you by charlyflowers (148k words) - Isak hates Even. He hates him with all his heart. What a pity the art class is also coming to the trip to Germany.

Checking From Behind by DickAnderton (156k words) - Isak is to captain his hockey team this season which means he has to somehow learn to cooperate with the newest addition to their team: Even Bech Næsheim. This proofs to be impossible, especially when nothing about Even's mysterious transfer adds up and his moods are just too frustrating. 

(WIP - Smut)

Magic Eight Ball by folerdetdufoler (22k words) - first update in Aug 2019. His cubicle is in the bullpen, but at the edge, across from the offices along one wall. When the Chief makes his announcements Isak stands near the middle, leaning against someone else's cube, reading emails on his phone instead of paying attention. This time, though, the Chief is introducing some new hires to the office: a sports editor, a city editor, and a marketing head. When Isak looks up to finally acknowledge the new team members, he gets a good look at the guy who is going to make his life a living hell. 

.. to the next universe. by xoxoxo333 (27k words) - last update Sept 2019. Isak thinks Even is just a stupid bad boy until they meet more often and each of them tells the other more about his life, his secrets and fears. 

The Naked Cleaner by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (38k words) - last update July 2019. It’s always been a thing, the gag joke gift Isak’s so called friends present him with on his birthday. Not that people care much about birthdays these days, all of them being all grown up and sensible and mature and…. Adult. Isak hates that word. The not so Adult story of when Isak get's a cleaner. 

I Want To Love You But I Don't Know How by Skamzombie (41k words) - 11/12 chapters posted. Isak and Even do not get along. In fact they hate each other. But when Even finds dirt on Isak, well it is almost too good to not use it to his advantage. And then somehow Isak finds himself in the drama club...with Even where drama is definitely promised.  

put me in a movie by Evenbechbaesheim (42k words) - last update Jan 2018. Isak wants to be an actor, Even wants to be a director and they don’t quite get it right the first few times, but , like any good NRK drama- they can’t keep away from each other for very long. A story told through the months of the year. 

If You Don't Love Me, Don't Tell Me by orphan_account (44k words) - 4/5 chapters posted. Even's two sided personality is what drives Isak's hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn't believe that Even has any good intentions. 

If You Love Me, If You Hate Me by MacksDramaticShenanigans (44k words) - last update March 2018. Isak could be chill. He was the chillest. He was a mature, reasonable adult that was perfectly capable of controlling his emotions. Not even Even could ruin that. 

take me to the stars by iriswests (230k words) - last update Aug 2017. Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. And Isak doesn’t mean to do it again, but he does, anyway, so now they’re establishing ground rules and deciding that maybe they can keep doing this, no strings attached, no commitments, no feelings, and, most importantly, no need to stop disliking each other. And then it’s not quite that simple anymore. 

********** MILD or NO SMUT **********

Waking Up with Your Enemy by evak1isak (1.6k words) - Isak can't remember what he did last night, but he's woken up with a hangover, in his underwear and in the bed of the boy he loathes the most: Even Bech Næsheim. 

black hearted angels sunk me (with kisses on my mouth) by traumatic (1.8k words) - A costume contest goes horribly, horribly right. 

When I Kiss Your Soul by jinglebin  (2.5k words) - Even's soulmate wasn't who he had expected or hoped it would be. 

I like my sugar with coffee and cream by imminentinertia (4k words) - 5 times Even buys a coffee +1 time Isak buys a shirt. 

Handcuff Your Way To My Heart by sugarbeat24 (4.3k words) - Isak and Even work at Buzzfeed and are roped into doing a video together. Lots of "oh my gods" and eyerolls ensue. 

How Gay Culture Liberated the Modern World by panshambles (6k words) -  DELETED

I'm Stuck on You by Twinklylightseverywhere (6k words) - Jonas lets out another nervous laugh. Isak wishes his best friend would shut up. “You two will take the spare room. Uh… with one bed.” “ONE BED?” Isak and Even both shout at the exact same time. “Merry Christmas!” 

Hjerterum by littlemovie (Lejla) (6.3k words) - Isak cleared his throat. “Hi,” he tried again looking at who, he gathered, was the ever-elusive third roommate. Even walked to the fridge, keeping his eyes glued to his feet. He took two cans of coke from his shelve and a bag of chips from the counter before making his way down to the basement again, shutting the door behind him. Isak huffed out a breath. “Well, that’s rude,” he mumbled to himself.

thought i had you in the palm of my hand that night by hippopotamus (6.6k words) - They're roommates, and they don't get on at all. Until they do, at which point Even decides to develop a useless crush. 

you call me lavender, you call me sunshine by aestheticzjm (8.4k words) - the one in which isak is forced to look over a friend's tattoo parlor and even works at the flower shop across the street. 

Good Roast by lovelycarcass  (9k words) - Even is a rising filmmaker and Isak is a cynical, sharp-tongued film critic. 

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (10k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. 

in the morning you'll dance with all the headache by bluesterek (19k words) - “Why do you hate me? Is it still about that kiss in first grade?” “You kissed my crush in front of me, Even.” “Yeah well, sorry about that, but that was like a century ago. Besides, you don’t even like girls.” “Excuse me, what?” 

en passant by peachbombs (21k words) - The first time Isak and Even had gone up against each other at a competition, the judges had declared a tie. Newspapers covered the occurrence as an unusual feat—it was a debate competition; one side had to win over another. That was the whole point. But it kept happening. Candy jar au. 

i didn't mean to kiss you (you didn't mean to fall in love) by shadesofcool (24k words) - football/cheerleader au with not much football and cheerleading because i only know the basics 

Dear Friend by bri_ness (26k words) - Isak and Even work together in a failing video store, and they cannot stand each other. Isak and Even both signed up for the Love Letters dating service, and they’re both falling for their anonymous pen pal. She Loves Me AU 

through these dark days by hippopotamus (29k words) - This is the world Isak lives in, half dead, half empty, half wild. A makeshift camp in a dying forest with twe- eleven other people, salvaging anything they can to make it easier, hunting any animal they can find to make it survivable. 

hearts a mess by slvtherxn (31k words) - Jonas takes the new kid at school under his wing, and everyone instantly loves him... everyone but Isak. He’s cool, and older, and funny, but whenever he talks, Isak gets the weirdest nauseating feeling in his stomach. He thinks he might hate him. 

Come On, Set the Tone by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (57k words) - Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music. Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody. Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 

Blood vs. Water by bri_ness (100k words) - Survivor au. Isak and Even become become rivals very early on and they constantly mess with each other. 

You Don't Even Know Me! by cuteandtwisted  (101k words) - "Let's keep our daddy issues out of work," said Even. "Excuse me?!" The one in which Isak and Even are interns who got off the wrong foot and don't like each other at all (except that they do). 

(WIP - No smut)

I hate that I want you by daisysmalia (17k words) - last update Jan 2017. Isak hates Even. He hates him so much that he even wrote a list. A list of everything to hate about the idiot. From his stupid smile to his windswept hair. From his random flirting with everyone to the fact he knows his name. To that feeling Isak gets when Even is around. 

i hate your face, it makes my heart skip a beat by Bellakitse (20k words) - last update Sept 2017. Isak is failing History and his friends have the great idea that their new friend Even should tutor him. It's perfect except Isak doesn't like Even or the way his stupid face makes his stomach flip. 

helium hearts (we're on fire) by itjustkindahappened (27k words) - last update May 2019. 10 Things I Hate About You!AU. Eva enrolls at Hartvig Nissens VGS in Oslo and falls headfirst for the popular and pretty Vilde Lien. Vilde, however, is not allowed to date until Isak—her sarcastic, misantropic introvert of a step brother—does. Together with her new group of friends, Eva comes up with a plan to set Isak up with the school's rumor-ridden bad boy Even Bech Næsheim so she can take her crush out.

we are made up of love and hate by everythingislove (straykid), puddingandpie (42k words) - last update July 2018. the one where Isak joins his best friends on their first North American tour and definitely does not fall for Even Bech Næsheim, their infuriating(ly handsome) opening act. 

a careful hypothesis of the heart by StMisery (87k words) - 12/13 chapters posted. "The boss' fucking son got the job. Out of a pool of dedicated applicants. You can't just deny nepotism like that," he said. "I'm Isak, by the way. I didn't catch your name?" Leaning against the metal banister in the elevator, the other man was the picture of calm. "I'm the boss' fucking son," he said. 

[7fics]

Can I request a markjae wherein can I request a markjae wherein markjae: youngjae is a tourist who just arrived in los angeles and mark is the random skateboard guy he met and they would eventually develop feelings despite of language barriers. fluff :) thank you!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of suicide, probably rated pg-13

Author: Mia

Word Count: 5.5k+

A/N: So sorry for this completely veering away from the prompt because Youngjae speaks very fluent English and he’s also a catboy??? for reasons unknown. And also Angst alert. But there’s some fluff as well so I hope that makes up for it. :3

august nights in los angeles are the reason why mark hasn’t moved down to chicago like tyler is always pressuring him to. sure, he misses his best friend of over six years and would like nothing more than to kick it with him on the daily. but it’s the warm breeze blowing across his front porch, tickling the leaves and making them rustle, the taps and crunch of his penny board rutting over smooth sidewalk, and the umami smell that always hits him in the face when he rolls past tj’s skinny dump, the best place for chinese-korean fusion this side of seventh street, that anchors him here. he wouldn’t trade this feeling, the feeling of waking up to home and going asleep to home and being home, for anything in the world.

he usually takes a quick ride after a heavy night of studying to drain the caffeine from his system and wind down enough to get some type of quality of sleep. good or bad, that’s up to the tides and the moon and black magic because it’s finals week and rest comes around in short, clumsy spurts when the exhaustion finally does his ass in.

mark hits up his neighborhood convenience store for some ramen and monster, truly staples of his diet. he microwaves the ramen in some water and stirs in the soup packet, stuffing noodles in his mouth with some chopsticks as he gurgles out a goodbye to the store’s owner mr. den, a wrinkled vietnamese man of sixty-two with a drinking problem and swearing addiction. nevertheless, mr. den fixes his green polo shirt with a rough hand and waves with the other, always a nice dude as long as no one’s asking for any trouble.

the block mark lives on has a reputation of being that ‘rowdy frat block’; true to the rumors, parties happen on a bi-weekly basis, more often during festive seasons, but regular enough as it is. on a good day, they end in some sick-covered laundry to do and booting of wasted stragglers. fortunately, kappa alpha theta is the preferred spot to throw the craziest rangers, as they are sponsored by one of the members’ insanely rich parents and have a huge swimming pool and alcohol bar. parties occasionally break out at delta tau delta and run into the deep night, but they never make campus news for being the best or greatest. which is okay with mark because he gets to sleep in his own bed most nights and rarely faces sick cleanup duty.

even so, parties or any social gathering of any kind are almost unheard of during finals week. the same week responsible, capable students are reviewing for their exams, party-addicted knuckleheads are blowing their brains out to get something done, and in-betweeners like mark are working moderately hard, not sweat inducing, life contemplatively hard, but hard. with the brain and instincts mark has, pursuing a journalism major and korean minor, he finds a nice ratio of him working it and it working him.

this all said, the streets are usually a ghost town by this hour. which is why he finds a hunched body trembling in the orange glow of the streetlight more than an oddity. some part of his brain is urging him to ignore it. superhero mark is nice and all in the daylight, but a creepy dude under a streetlight past midnight is psychopath serial killer territory. he has some exams in the next few days that he probably needs to be alive to take. but another part is telling him, as he gets closer and hears the quiet sniffling coming from the figure, that he doesn’t look like a serial killer at all. if he is, either he’s a real good one, or mark is a damn sucker, or both.

even if mark wants to pass him up, just feet from his house, almost at the finish line, the guy’s shoulders shaking and his endless crying has mark slowing his steps and eventually stopping right where he is.

against all his better judgement, mark says, “hey, you alright man?”

the guy, boy really, once he lifts his head and mark gets a good luck at his soft features and young face, looks up. his glassy eyes find mark in the dusty glimmer of the light and mark sucks in a heavy, important breath as he discerns a current of fear so thick it nearly shocks him. he hopes this isn’t some trick serial killers use to get their victims to soften up, because mark is falling for it, hard.

but what really hits mark like a frigid ocean wave is the velvet, auburn ears twitching softly in his equally dark hair and the matching tail flicking languidly behind him. he’s a catboy. mark’s never met one before. it’s kinda cool. but the situation itself overshadows the revelation.

the young catboy has a bulging backpack weighing on his shoulders, his entire life probably inside, along with a black suitcase on wheels that he’s using as an impromptu seat. if jaebum hadn’t schooled jackson on the finite differences in physiology of the east asian races, after the ladder let his ignorance slip (something not to be done in jaebum’s company) and mark hadn’t been suffering through every waking minute of it with a dead phone battery and no fake appointment to excuse himself to, he wouldn’t be able to tell that this guy looks korean as hell. and by the ‘america rocks’ button pinned to his thin jacket and the sadness in his pretty eyes, mark can tell he’s a tourist that’s having a strike of very bad luck. to mark, los angeles is his home. but to this poor guy it’s a jungle of unfamiliarity and he must be scared shitless.

that’s gotta suck.

“i’m lost,” he admits finally in a heavy accent. mark shouldn’t be thinking that it’s cute and melting a little because he’s still not out of the danger zone. he could be carrying murder tools in his backpack, it’s definitely big enough.

“and they stole my money,” he adds miserably in elaboration. “i have no money, and i’m lost. i’m stupid.”

“you’re not stupid,” mark can’t help but say, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand holding his black plastic bag, fingers looped through the handles. “uh, what’s your name?”

the guy clears his throat, sucking up his sniffles. “youngjae. choi youngjae.”

“nice to meet you, youngjae. i’m mark.” don’t tell him your last name, idiot. i swear for the love of all that’s good and pure, don’t- “mark tuan.” he points behind him, kind of guessing the direction so he has his eyes on youngjae, gauging his comprehension of the situation. “that’s my frat over there. since you don’t have money, you can crash there tonight and we can figure things out in the morning. what do you say, youngjae?”

youngjae looks troubled, uncomfortable. “how do i know you’re not going to harvest my organs and sell them on the black market?”

mark is equal parts amused and deeply mortified. “american television is crap. it’s all crap, okay? read books, youngjae. i promise not to harvest your organs and sell them on the black market. so come, yeah? i’d hate to have you sitting out here because i can guarantee i’m the nicest person you’ll encounter in downtown la in the middle of the night.”

youngjae’s eyebrows furrow in thought. he casts one long glance at the street before turning back to the hand mark has out stretched to him, a very transparent question: risk it for a cool bed or play it safe and end up roaming downtown la in the dead of night, susceptible to god knows what? for some reason, when youngjae takes mark’s hand and allows him to pull him up, he gets a weird sense of accomplishment, as if youngjae hadn’t just chose short-time survival over very possible long-term suffering.

“let me get that.” mark pulls up the handle of youngjae’s suitcase and rolls it alongside them as they walk, closing the distance between the street and the house with each anticipated step. mark has clocked out his good deed meter and is ready for some blissful, air-conditioned sleep. again, up to the moon and the tides and good ole’ black magic. but nobody can tell him not to dream.

“why are you out here, youngjae?” mark asks curiously as they step through the front gate, barb wire swinging closed with a clink and clack, whining like the antique it is.

“america is very beautiful,” youngjae says wistfully, slight smile visible underneath the porch light as it hums to life. “i’ve read about america in books as a child. the land of opportunity. i never thought i’d get to go. then my mother committed suicide just a month ago. i dropped out of university and worked full time at a cafe, saving money to come here. looks like i’m back at square one.” his coy smile doesn’t hide the tsunami of pain roaring in his eyes, suddenly too much for mark as he looks away.

“i’m sorry...uh, about your mom,” he mutters uselessly. “i’m sure she’s in heaven.”

“or hell,” youngjae blurts out unceremoniously. “suppose you go to hell for that sort of thing. or purgatory. maybe she’s there.”

all other generic, commercialized words of condolence burn at the back of mark’s throat, dying right where they are, cold, metallic niceties that slide down as heavy as iron and drop resolutely into his gut. he coughs out a meaningless “yeah”, like he gets it. he doesn’t.

this is weird.

they walk inside. as jackson is the only one with a car, there’s no way to tell if the others are home. mark’s quiet anyway. always is.

“this is the living room,” he says, and flips a table lamp on. light blooms in the crowded space. the black, suede pull-out couch is swimming in clothes, a mixture of clean and not. empty cans of monster and beer litter the squat coffee table, rings of moisture already leaving their presence on this little piece of the earth where jackson lives to irk mark’s patience. he always tells that slob to get tidy or get out. of course since mark holds no ownership over the house he’s a little out of his jurisdiction to call those types of shots, so jackson mostly ignores him. but he still says it and occasionally jackson likes to play human, doing human things like having some dignity and not crapping where he eats.

mark points to the darkened room right off the living room, left of the staircase, “kitchen”, and then to the room left of that one, “first floor bathroom. help yourself to anything in the kitchen as long as you clean up. i hate messes because no one cares enough to fret but me. need anything and i’ll be upstairs, preferably sleeping but probably not.”

for the first time since he’s seen him, youngjae actually smiles. not a tight grin or nervous twitch of his lips, but a real smile. the kind of smile that is raw and panic inducing and something mark wants to lock in a box forever.

“thanks, mark.” youngjae drops his backpack on the floor and goes over to the couch. mark regains his senses in time to run over and knock all of the clothes on the floor, pulling out the couch into a bed and dragging some pillows and a comforter from the surrounding furniture to make it look somewhat like a decent place to sleep and not just a filthy couch stained with caffeine and virginity.

“no problem.” he waits awkwardly as youngjae toes out of his shoes and lies his jacket aside in quiet task, content.

“do you need some sleep clothes?” mark asks, surveying youngjae’s remaining cotton graphic tee and blue jeans.

youngjae smiles meekly. “would it be trouble?”

“not at all. wait here, okay?” mark goes up the stairs, all nervous and jittery for some reason. he bangs around oafishly in his black room for a few minutes, not having the sense to turn on some light as he focuses on finding youngjae something comfortable to sleep in. he finally decides on some green basketball shorts and a plain white sleeveless shirt.

this is weird, mega weird. he’s letting a stranger sleep in his house, wear his clothes. jaebum’s gonna chew him out for this. it’s almost not worth the headache. he goes back downstairs and hands youngjae the stuff.

“thanks.” youngjae does that thing again where he smiles and mark doesn’t know what to do with the raw and genuine sensation.

“yeah, sure.” oh, jaebum’s definitely gonna chew him out.

he goes back up to his room and collapses in his bed. whatever happens in the morning is for the morning. the caffeine cleanse apparently worked, as he passes out much sooner than expected.

                                                  *   *   *   *

“yo, tuan!”

mark rolls over in his bed, groaning at the bomb of luminescence bathing his room in unrepentant shine, unamused. if jaebum didn’t haunt his dreams on a regular enough basis he wouldn’t be doubting his actual presence. but after a door--his door--slams open, mark groans again, but no longer doubts that the real jaebum is in his room, and angry for some reason lost to his drowsy conscious.

“tuan, i swear to god-”

“jaebum,” mark says in a mock conversational tone, sitting up and kicking his thin sheet off his legs, blinking his eyes open slowly. “to what do i owe this unexpected visit?”

“i could say the same,” jaebum grits out, livid. “what’s a stranger doing on my couch?”

that’s when the gears get spinning and mark looks over at his seething friend, who has what he remembers to be youngjae’s bag gripped roughly in one hand, the other screwed on his hip in impatience. mark understands why he’s mad, knows there’s a dude sleeping on their couch who could still be a serial killer despite his completely disarming smile and shy tendencies. but he’s not one to lose to jaebum.

so he says, “you mean our couch?” even if just to save face.

as expected, jaebum is less than amused at the quip. “i’ll give you two seconds to talk, dumpling face. who is that guy?”

mark stands up finally, and shivers off the rest of his sleep. he refuses to flinch at jaebum’s unrelenting glare. “his name is youngjae. he’s a kid from korea, and he got mugged last night, so i let him sleep here. i couldn’t just leave him outside so something worse could happen to him, jaebum. that’s just cruel.”

jaebum visibly softens, the grip on youngjae’s bag handle loosening and his stare melting a bit, not as hot and unforgiving as before. “he understood you?”

“yeah.” mark shrugs. “he speaks perfect english.”

“dammit, mark.” jaebum’s frustrated more than mad now, which really is an approvement. “you couldn’t be your normal nonchalant i-don’t-a-flying-fajita self?”

“flying fajita?” mark stage whispers.

“whatever.” jaebum waves him off, tossing him the bag which mark catches easily. “take care of it. if he’s going to be staying indefinitely, i want some background info.”

“got it.” mark nods firmly.

“you’re just a regular ole’ clark kent,” jaebum grumbles to himself all the way to his room, closing the door and leaving mark standing in his open doorway with youngjae’s bag and at a loss for what to do next. he loops the bag over one shoulder and pads down to the living room. his fear of youngjae possibly being awake to suffer jaebum’s wrath and feel all unwanted is dissipated when he sees that youngjae is still in deep sleep, half of his face buried in the pillow, softly twitching ears and rising back the only sign of movement. he then sneaks a peek over at the den adjacent to the living room. jackson is knocked out, pacified in slumber by some beer that reeks its way all the way over here.

mark crinkles his nose and moves closer to youngjae, dropping the bag softly as he takes a tentative seat at the sleeping boy’s feet, gazing curiously at his peaceful face. youngjae looks so young that mark is immediately guilty for some reason. he has these soft looking, peach-hued lips and a cute nose. being able to stare so intently, mark also notices a beauty mark under his left eye--well, mark’s left, but youngjae’s right. he’s very pretty; so pretty that mark is lost in him, only aware that he’s being just a bit creepy when those sweet eyes blink open and fix him a perplexed stare.

“uh, sorry.” mark backs up, actually blushing like some chastised schoolgirl. youngjae barely responds, still mostly sleep, only blinking curiously at mark so blankly that mark is forced to ask his next question. “how old are you, youngjae?”

“18,” youngjae says sleepily, rubbing his eyes and fixing to sit up. he’s a baby, mark thinks solemnly to himself.

“you graduated early?” mark asks after remembering some stuff jaebum told him about the age of university in korea being 20 instead of 18 like in the states. he smiles. “you must be smart.”

“dumb enough to get robbed,” youngjae answers cynically. mark’s smile vanishes. he doesn’t know what to say to follow that up. move on.

“do you know anyone out here?” mark asks. “anyone you can call, or ask for a favor?”

“it was really a whim decision,” youngjae admits sheepishly. “i hated being in that apartment by myself. everything reminds me of her. her clothes, her bills, her favorite spot on the couch. everything smells like her.”

mark is really at a true loss when youngjae becomes visibly shaken, choking up on his words and eyes watering. if mark is good at anything, it’s giving people space and letting the dust settle. but he can’t exactly leave youngjae while he’s on the brink of crying, doesn’t want to leave him. he wants to hug him and whisper hushed comforts until he stops crying and making mark feel like an unfeeling ogre as he continues to sit by and do nothing.

who has he let into his house?

“youngjae,” mark says gently, biting his lip in awkward anticipation. “come here.”

youngjae looks up at him then, glassy eyes the same ones that had warped him the night before when mark first saw him, sitting like a sad puppy on the curb and waiting for a sucker like mark to stroll by. his bottom lip is trembling a little, and mark cracks at that. youngjae inspects mark’s open arms for a moment, not too sure what to do with him, and then, to mark’s bittersweet triumph, actually crawls into them.

youngjae sits cross-legged next to him, head cushioned on mark’s shoulder as the man rubs his back, hating the hiccups and shivers that rattle through him. mark’s never been the most clever or timely with words, so he keeps his mouth shut until youngjae calms some time after, shoulders stilling and crying fading into the early morning birds’ orchestra.

“i’m sorry,” youngjae whispers in a quiet rasp. “you don’t even know me. i don’t know you. but look what i’m doing in your house. i really am stupid for coming here. you know, the really sad thing is i realize that after i’ve had my money stolen and have no way to get back. i’m an idiot. i’m so stupid. i’m the biggest dummy-”

he’s knocking his knuckles against his temple so hard that mark worries he’ll crack something, and he swoops in to grab his wrist impulsively. the boy looks up at him quizzically.

“you’ll hurt yourself,” mark answers his unasked question. “and you’re not stupid. you’re grieving. you can stay here as long as you need, or want. as long as you want.”

youngjae smiles finally. “you’re really nice, hyung.”

mark stiffens unintentionally. “hyung?”

“is that not okay?” youngjae sits up in a flash, face suddenly contorted in panicked apology. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to. it’s just, i’m pretty sure you’re older than me. is it weird? should i just call you mark?”

“no, no, no.” mark laughs. “hyung is okay.”

youngjae’s smile returns, and mark knows it’s gonna be the end of him one day.

that’s when jackson’s loud grunt breaks through the peaceful silence, taking youngjae’s attention, something mark didn’t think he would mind until now (because he does).

“jesus fu-”

“idiot.” jaebum comes skipping skipping down the stairs with a joyful smirk, books ladening his arms and backpack slung on his shoulder. he looks much happier than about ten minutes ago. he must have a stash of chocolate in his room. mark wouldn’t put it past him.

“who’s this?” jackson’s irritated frown turns into a curious smile at the sight of youngjae. he’s looking at him the way the man looks at anyone he’s preparing to swoon, and for some reason mark is ready to spring between them because of it. he doesn’t, though. they just met. mark has no claim over this beautiful catboy named youngjae.

that would be weird.

“youngjae,” mark says a bit sullenly, already resigned to this quiet fate. “he flew from korea.”

“i didn’t fly,” youngjae interjects, looking over at mark.

“bus then…?”

“some very nice men and women drove me here,” youngjae says vaguely. mark’s eyebrows pinch.

“you hitchhiked?” mark’s voice raises before he has any control over it, almost hysterical in that instant. “youngjae, that’s so dangerous. you can’t just trust anyone. strangers are off limits, okay?”

“you’re a stranger,” youngjae says cheekily, a very clear smile on his face. mark is disarmed for a very long second, again at a loss for what to do with youngjae. this strange catboy who is lying on his pullout couch, apparently an orphan (though he’s not sure about his dad, maybe that’s too personal though). he doesn’t know what to do with any of it.

“i don’t count,” mark says after a long time.

“okay.” youngjae shrugs indifferently, faint smile still etched on his lips.

                                              *    *    *    *

somehow, mark is able to convince jaebum that youngjae is not a serial killer, despite his own doubts, and he has agreed to let him stay indefinitely. youngjae has his own special magic. maybe it was between the behind-ear-scratches and the content purring; regardless, jaebum and jackson are both infatuated. jackson is more vocal, but when is jackson not more vocal in general?

mark is happy. he really is. but he has no idea what he’s doing at all. youngjae seems fine, most of the times. he’s smiling and munching on jaebum’s secret stash of chocolate (which jaebum doesn’t mind at all, the discrimination!) and being all obliviously cute as he floats around in mark’s slightly too big clothes like everything’s hunky dory.

(it’s not.)

then he’s crying quietly in a corner of the bathroom before startling as mark purposely clears his throat, feigning ignorance as he stomps inside to throw a thin greeting his way.

he thinks they have built up a system that isn’t perfect, but functions somewhat smoothly. youngjae vents to himself, and mark intrudes after some time to keep him from drowning in his own anguish. it’s good. it’s a good system.

then the systems breaks about a week after that.

one day mark actually does walk in on him as he’s crying far too quietly to even be picked up. mark doesn’t even notice him until he’s halfway in his room, shirt already off and hand digging around in his drawer for something less sweaty.

their ac’s old and uncooperative sometimes.

youngjae is wrapped up in mark’s blankets despite the increasing wave of heat blowing through the house, lasting as long as the ac decides to spazz. his ears are flattened against his fluffy hair and he looks so small and sad that a piece of mark dies. the older’s puny desire to hurriedly pull on another shirt to cover his bare torso is disintegrated under the need to move closer to youngjae. which he does.

his shirt is dropped somewhere on the floor on his way to the bed.

“hyung,” youngjae sniffles quietly, big, pretty eyes full of tears.

“do you want me to leave?” mark asks stagnantly. he doesn’t want to at all. but if youngjae says so then he will.

“no.” youngjae shakes his head while looking all vulnerable and hurt. mark slides in next to him, pulling him instinctively into his lap without fretting if this is too intimate. youngjae wraps around him. the top of his head slots perfectly against mark’s warm throat and the little breaths he’s blowing from his nose tickle the skin there. the boy’s tail floats down across mark’s thigh and coils loosely.

“your mom?”

“my mom.”

“what was she like?”

“sometimes she was mean to me,” youngjae breathes unsteadily, wet cheeks signalling to mark that he’s crying again, or more, since he never really stopped before. “she called me mean names and hit me. dissociative identity disorder, the doctors called it. it’s like she had more people than just her living in her head. sometimes she was really nice. she baked my favorite cookies and rocked me to sleep. then she was being mean again,  pulling my tail and tugging my ears until i was so dizzy that i passed out. when i woke up she would often be crying with a new batch of cookies in the oven. she was my best friend and my worst enemy.”

“youngjae, i’m--uh, youngjae--”

“you don’t have to say anything, hyung,” youngjae whispers. “can you please just hold me?”

so marks shuts his mouth, which is the best decision he’s ever made in his life, and holds youngjae in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. he’s not sure if that’s okay at all. but youngjae purrs like he does when he really likes something, and so mark doesn’t apologize about it.

                                               *    *    *    *   

taking him sightseeing had been made a thing with jaebum’s offhanded suggestion and youngjae’s enthusiastic approval of the idea. he sees how youngjae slugs around the house in boredom, pressed thin between the thoughts of his mother, which are so obvious mark can almost drown in them along with him, and youngjae’s own restlessness.

mark is more than apprehensive about it all because as much as the right side of la can be a  plethora of all good things; the bad side can be the complete opposite.

even though mark doesn’t mind seeing youngjae walk around in his clothes, small frame swallowed by the fabric, loves it actually, he would rather other people never have the pleasure. he takes the boy shopping at a high-quality and wallet friendly shop in the mall as a segue to the afternoon leg of their downtown adventure.

the morning had been a rush of breakfast, window shopping, and youngjae touching everything they passed, never letting a single thing go without mulling over it first, endlessly excited and curious and so new to everything. mark thinks he’ll fall asleep to youngjae’s voice going ‘what’s this?’ and ‘what’s that?’ and ‘is that what this thing does?’ because he’s heard it enough to absorb the sweetly pitched tones into his bloodstream. as if he needs anymore of youngjae running through his system than there already is.  

“hyung!” youngjae tugs his arm and drags him over to a shop after they’re done picking out a few bags of nice, cheap clothes that should get youngjae by for at least a few weeks, paired with items from mark’s wardrobe since he won’t ever get over seeing youngjae wear his clothes.

mark isn’t partial to shops with ‘pink’ or ‘stuffed’ in the name just because those things creep him out. also, his sisters used to force him into dresses and makeup when he wasn’t old enough to toddle away by himself, so the trauma’s still there. he’ll brave if for youngjae, though.

he’d brave so many things for youngjae.

“isn’t this one cute?” youngjae holds up this bear thing with freakishly huge eyes and the cheesiest smile mark has ever seen. it’s this pastel purple color that makes the older’s skin crawl. it’s not only cute, but creepily so. killer china doll cute.

“yeah…” mark lies uncomfortably, trying to appease youngjae’s smile with a tight grin. “really cute.”

“you hate it.” youngjae drops the thing with a sigh. his eyes search around quickly after that, widening in delight when he sees something else he likes. he rushes over and mark trudges along behind him.

“what about this one?” he holds up a baby blue pikachu with white blushing cheeks. it’s actually cute and doesn’t look like something he’d open his eyes to at 2am trying to harvest his insides. because mark tends to be as easy to read as black and white print, his approval spills out onto his face and youngjae beams.

mark actually gets the thing because his tight wallet becomes a little looser with youngjae giving him these pretty pouty eyes and pushing his bottom lip out like the sun will stop shining or water will stop being wet if he doesn’t get this blue fuzz thing with the white cheeks, ears twitching something furious.

they have a pair of burgers and fries at the food court before leaving for their next stop. mark won’t forget how youngjae looks at everything like it’s earth’s saving grace, can’t forget how the sweet kitty touches everything with an innocent wonder and amusement not easily replicated by hands that have touched and eyes that have seen and chests that have burned for reasons beside the scorching love for one’s love lost.

the original plan had been to catch the fireworks at six, grab some snack to take home, and be done with their adventure. however, mark’s perfectly scheduled conclusion to their day is derailed when youngjae stops him as they’re walking over to the park, pointing excitedly at a crowd of people huddled around something. upon wandering closer, mark recognizes this man as the one that usually sets up his street magic a few blocks from his house and amuses groups with tricks difficult enough to entertain the average person, but simple enough that mark was able to memorize them in just a month after a dumb bet with jackson that cost him time better spent. he’s not at all impressed, but youngjae is engrossed, gasping generously enough for the man to come closer and let him get a better look at some tricks.

“is it that fun, youngjae?” mark asks with an easy grin, never not fascinated by how the kitty manages to find boundless excitement in the near mundane.

“look at that!” is youngjae’s enthused reply, eyes sparkling and hands mimicking the man’s motions sloppily, completely focused. that’s when mark thinks to himself, infatuated beyond belief, that if spring were a person, it’d be youngjae. he has such a fresh attitude; that paired with his teeming exuberance and virginal glee towards most of anything has mark swooning, falling so hard he’ll need someone to scrape him off of where’s melted in a puddle for this sweet, pretty catboy with bright eyes and a childishly pure trust in others.

dammit, dammit, dammit.

as they’re walking home mark is internally pleased at how they can still still see the fireworks from across the lake and youngjae is ‘oohing’ and ‘ahing’ again as if he has the sole power to see everything in existence through rose-colored glasses. he wants to ask youngjae how he’s feeling about his mom and just talk to him to see if he’s still hurting because mark gets sappy at the curling at dusk when the warm wind is whistling past his ears and making everything loose and quietly blissful. he also wants to press him into his chest and kiss his cute, squishy face until everything else loses all meaning. the only concrete necessity being youngjae cradled in mark’s arms.

none of these things come to pass because youngjae slips his hand in mark’s and the older forgets how to breathe momentarily, exhaling when he needs to inhale and almost passing out before he gets the hang of it again. he spares a sideways glance in the kitty’s direction to see his tail swaying happily in the breeze and a soft smile on his clear, bright face.

not to be dramatic or anything, but it’s a smile that could cure the world of all of its impurities.

“can i stay with you?”

mark startles at youngjae’s honey-slick voice, staring down at him more focused. he must look like a puppy on a leash, but he’s okay with it being youngjae who’s seeing him like this, will always be.

“can i stay with you, hyung? for a long time?” he asks again, tightening his grasp on mark’s hand just the slightest and blinking up at him like this is all he needs. mark doesn’t even need to think, doesn’t care about the implications or strings attached because it’s youngjae.

“for a long time.”

and he really fucking means it.

[andyfrills]

Andy’s Fanfic Log 21/02/2017

So how that I've got this blog up and running I thought it might be a fun idea to regularly share the fanfics that I've recently read/am currently reading (since I tend to go through a lot of fics). The inspiration to do this actually came from @victuurificrec​ who, as the name suggests, runs a fic recommendation blog for yuri on ice. She is honestly a Godsend, the blog is so helpful and she gives amazing recommendations! So go check her out! Fair warning, I've been reading a heap of her recs so a fair amount of the yoi stuff you'll be able find on her blog.

I'm planning to do this once or twice a week, give or take~ I think I'll be organising the fics via fandom, with crossovers going under the fandom it displays most (e.g. a yoi Hogwarts au would go under yoi for its large interaction with yoi characters). If you have any tips or ideas surrounding this, then please don't hesitate to tell me!

Other posts in this little series will be able to be found under the read fanfiction tag on my page~

Fic Count: 23 Fandoms in this Log: Yuri!!! on Ice, Voltron, Harry Potter, One Piece, NCIS

On a cautionary note, I end up reading a lot of random shit. Until I’m a bit more comfortable I might censor a few things out, but there will be explicit fics, darker themes, crazy plots, and insane ships amongst all the sugar and fluff I find around the place. So the really important thing is to carefully read the warnings that I occasionally give & that are on the fic itself, and back away if it’s not for you.

Now, without further ado, let's get into this loong first log!

Yuri!!! on Ice

Enchanted by FlishFlash121 Words: 5.8k, Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri (Viktor Nikiforov/Yuuri Katsuki) Viktor Nikiforov is the eleven king of an enchanted forest. Mortal Katsuki Yuuri finds himself on a mission in said forest. - Cool concept for a fantasy au. Quite good so far and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it~!

of dusk and dawn and a love beyond by exile_wrath Words: 5.5k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri The King of Day, Victor, drops flowers to the Ruler of Night, Yuuri, to express his love for him; yet, they are always returned, as Yuuri thinks that they’re dropped by mistake. Victor cries and plucks wishes off the petals every time, remembering the time when once, they had been together. - Rather sweet imho <3

Stamina by Watermelonsmellinfellon Words: 1.1k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri “Can’t you go another round with me, Victor?” Yuuri purred, voicing teasing and deepening erotically. Victor’s eyes dilated once more and his breath hitched again. - Innuendos but no doing the do~ <3 Beautiful fic, go read it if you're into this sort of stuff!

After Banquet Special by Watermelonsmellinfellon Words: 1.1k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri What would happen if Victor had escorted Yuuri back to his hotel room after the banquet? - ;)

we're like two halves of one heart by grandeur Words: 2.9k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri The man smiles at this, looking both unfairly beautiful and amused. “Very cute.” “She is,” Yuuri agrees. “I wasn’t talking about the dog.” - Dogs and fluff. All things seem right in the world with this fic~~

shape of you by grandeur Words: 8.5k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri From: Viktor [06:59:20 A.M.] I checked over my schedule and I’m free on Friday night if you’re still up for a date~ ))) Yuuri almost throws his phone across the room. - Sequel to the previous fic in this list <3 The perfect addition if you ask me!

in need of melted marshmallow cuddles by Hitsugi_Zirkus Words: 1.7k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri “Viktor. You’re Russian.” “I’m so glad you noticed, lyubov moya,” Viktor said, overly sweet as he kissed into Yuuri’s hair. “You’re a figure skater who spends most of his life on the ice.” “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” “I mean how is it that you’re always so easily cold and-- Wait,” Yuuri’s eyes fell onto Viktor’s bundled up form under the comforter, “are you wearing my jackets? How many layers have you got on?” - Fluff and cuddles galore!

Maelstrom by feelslikefire Words: 43k, Rating: Explicit, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes. - This is a time loop au and I think it's amazing! I really enjoyed reading it~!

I Want to Skate like Him by IdunAurora Words: 27k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri At age 27, five time consecutive world figure skating champion Yuuri Katsuki decides to retire. He has barely made it home to Hasetsu before he finds an eager and all too enthusiastic silver-haired Russian on the doorstep of Yu-Topia Akatsuki, demanding Yuuri to coach him. Well, it's not as if the Japanese legend has been able to get 23-year-old Viktor Nikiforov out of his mind since the young man enchanted him at the GPF banquet in Sochi months earlier, anyway. Also, Yuuri's smirks should be illegal. Viktor is certain he has spent more time imitating a tomato than he has been skating. - A really good role swap au!

our doubts are traitors by astoryaboutwar Words: 11k, Rating: Explicit, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri “Back then,” Yuuri asks. “Did you love me?” The cigarette hangs low, tucked between Victor’s lips. The end glows steadily orange, devil eyes on a coal-black night. (Some ghosts of your past you leave well alone.) (Or: the powered assassins AU in which betrayal comes first, forgiveness second, and love was always somewhere in the equation.) - A really interesting au! Waiting eagerly for more~

That's the trouble with us by heygorgeous Words: 6.3k, Rating: G, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri [AU - Elemental Magic] Viktor Nikiforov is a legend. That, anyone within a five mile radius of the porcelain demigod can tell; the fact that there’s a statue of the man smack in the middle of the institution’s courtyard goes to show exactly how deeply regarded he is. It’s just a little awkward, seeing as Viktor’s still, well, alive; his many achievements and breakthroughs in ice dancing, secondary Elements, and magical therapy may seem superfluous to the common man, but it’s what’s inspired the fusion of scientific, practical magic with the traditional aesthetical appreciation of wizardry. The man is a living legend, an urban myth, a collector of headlines and trophies and tokens of appreciation. This statue is nothing less. Enter Katsuki Yuuri, back as straight as a broom, fingers tightly anchored to the strap of his messenger bag. He’s sure there’s been some sort of mistake that his application got through, but the paper of acceptance is strangely durable and far too ancient to be some sort of joke. - Arrrrgh, this fic is so good! I feel like I need to read more T^T

Re: Yuri Katsuki by Ishxallxgood Words: 33k, Rating: G, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri, ChulaCometti (Phichit/Christophe - is that what we're calling this ship? If so I’m jumping aboard! Just hints in recent chaps btw) Phichit Chulanont is fiercely loyal to his best friend Yuri Katsuki. So when he randomly gets a direct message on Instagram from one v_nikiforov, it's only natural for Phichit to assume it's a prank. That is until he comes to realize it's not a prank. A story about how Phichit and Viktor bonded over their most favorite topic; Yuri Katsuki. Phichit knows all the things. - Phichit is a devious gift to the fandom, just like this fic. <33 It's beautiful, I love it, go read it.

Amateur Night by Ishxallxgood Words: 3.3k, Rating: Not Rated (I’d say around Teen), Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri, ChulaCometti (Hints) It all started with a Groupon for a pole dancing class... Phichit convinces Yuuri to actually dance for Amateur night and is pleasantly surprised when he recognizes two faces in the crowd. - Fic about a night mentioned in chap 27 of the previous fic in this list. Phichit strikes again! <3

Warmth by SuggestiveScribe Words: 1.4k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri "I love nights like tonight," Viktor commented as he allowed a momentary pause in his gait. He lifted his chin to the sky, gloved fingers still securely fastened over Yuuri's hand. "It feels dream-like, doesn't it? It's so..." He didn't pull his eyes away from the sky as he thought, and in the light his lashes were pale threads of golden silk. "Euphoric," he decided. - So cute~ So pure~ <3

Voltron

Marital Mayhem by genello Words: 21k, Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klance (Keith/Lance) Cornered by the Galra, Lance and Keith find shelter in a local temple. There's just one problem—the natives seem to think the two of them are engaged. - I live for this type of fluff <3 Can't wait for more!

Quiznak Actually by fairy_laughing Words: 10k (expected to be around 30k), Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klance, Shallura (Shiro/Allura) Hunk ships Klance so hard. Too bad those two idiots are blind as to how crazy in love they are with each other. Hunk decides he’s going to get them together by any means possible. There will be misunderstandings, awful dad-jokes, 60s cable, and space flu for all. This was written for the Primary Paladin Big Bang 2017 and there is artwork inside! - What it says on the box~ Very cute so far!

Harry Potter

Victory Day by WhiteWave14 Words: 301k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Harry Potter/Voldemort (I know, I was a bit surprised at first too) Harry grew up in a Rebel camp with Sirius after Voldemort's triumph over Wizarding Britain. Burdened by the Prophecy, he begins to doubt the Rebels' morals and slowly gets caught in his fascination for a certain Dark Lord. - I actually quite enjoyed this one. I found the plot interesting and well thought out, and the character development quite good. It has been a little while since I read this, and I don't remember if it gets explicit anywhere or not, so please tread carefully on this one.

Lonely Moon by eleventy7 Words: 65k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Draco/Harry More than a decade after the Battle, Harry returns to Hogwarts as a professor and discovers a student with a familiar face and an unexpected past. - Sweet with a bit of angst ft. Papa Draco and his Cutie Son

Between Ruin and Salvation by ms. commas and ampersands Words: 44k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Draco/Luna - Actually a hetro pairing for once ww It was only one second. One second when Remus stared at the rigid body of his last best friend falling through the veil. One second when he heard James's son too late, when he wasn't fast enough to catch him. Then Harry ran through the veil. - I somehow found this old fic a while ago, it's an interesting read. The pairings listed on the summary aren't right btw.

Full Circle by tetsurashian Words: 14k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Harry P./Tom R. Jr. Harry and Tom's souls are tied together. Which is why they're in this endless loop of rebirth. At some point, they stopped caring and just started f**king with people. - The humor is on point in this fic. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it.

Recreated Fire A Harry Potter/One Piece X-over by Mai Kusakabe Words: 117k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Ace!Harry/Marco Harry Potter has always dreamed about a dark haired boy, his thrilling life and adventures. When his Hogwarts letter arrives, he discovers a new, magical world, and that not everything is what it seems to be, all in the form of a mythical bird that insists on befriending him. - This is seriously one of my favourite fics around, I absolutely love it. I'm constantly rereading it, I've lost count of the number of times, and I still enjoy it just as much the tenth time round as I did the first. I'd say that this is one of the best reincarnation fics in the HP/OP x-over verse.

One Piece

Azure and Ash by Mithril Lace Words: 86k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Marco/Ace For years Ace has dedicated himself to supporting his brothers. When the kingdom falls on hard times, Ace is forced to take drastic measures to care for his ailing little brother. Against Sabo and Luffy's wishes, he volunteers for a dangerous mission from the king: to kill  the creature responsible for the kingdom's distress and bring back proof - a single feather from the phoenix. - I love this fic~ I've re-read it a number of times now and it's one of my favourite Marco/Ace fics <33

NCIS

Burning Rubber an NCIS/One Piece X-over by Kitsune Foxfire Words: 217k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None - That I can remember... It's never just another case, particularly not when conspiracies are involved. The corpse of a modern pirate shows up on a naval base, a continent away from where he was last seen. Signs show he had unusual abilities; so did the UNSUB. What role do two black haired brothers play in all this? Can the team figure out just what is going on here before it's too late? - A brilliant, brilliant fic. Well thought out and executed. I've only read it twice since finding it, but it's definitely a fic I'd be more than happy to read over and over.

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Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Ronell Firouz of Pilly Labs, a brand that sells all-natural wellness supplements.Some stats:Product: All-natural wellness supplements.Revenue/mo: $5,500Started: January 2019Location: Los AngelesFounders: 1Employees: 1Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?Hey everyone! My name is Ronell and I’m the founder of Pilly. We’re a health and wellness company focused on making all natural, herbal based supplements for a modern demographic. That means products with kick ass packaging, top quality all-natural ingredients, and formulations geared towards conditions you actually care about.As of now, we currently have two products in the market; Stress Savior and Over Hang. Stress Savior (as you can probably guess) helps moderate the effects of stress and anxiety on people’s bodies - not just mask them like other products on the market today. Which, let’s be honest... is something that nearly everyone could use today, me included :). Overhang, our second product, helps relieve symptoms of hangovers (you know, the nausea, headaches, sick to your stomach feeling the morning after partying)? And call me crazy, but I have a pipeline of close to 8 other supplements I’m hoping to launch within the next year.In terms of startups, we’re probably as new as they come. Although it took nearly 9 months to get to this point, we finally launched about a month and a half ago and are generating right around $5K in revenue per month. But I think the craziest part of this story is that I did all of this while holding down an 80 hour a week job…imageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?I’ve heard it a million times… “you’re starting a business that sells WHAT?! There’s literally no way you’ll follow through with that.” Well, in order to understand why I got that reaction so often, I’ll have to give you all some context.For the past three years, I worked as an investment banker at my company’s Consumer division. That means I had the privilege of advising on everything from IPO’s, mergers, acquisitions, and growth equity raises for some of the coolest consumer companies around in a lot of unique verticals - cosmetics, nutraceuticals, apparel, footwear, you name it.A HUGE drawback though are the hours, which can be anywhere from 70-100 hours a week on a bad week. As you can tell, it doesn’t leave too much room for anything else, let alone starting a business! In any case, for the last year or so I couldn't help but feel like something was missing. After all, I was helping all these founders realize their entrepreneurial dream, why couldn’t I focus on realizing mine?About a year into my time at the investment bank, we signed a client that sold liquid herbal tinctures. For those of you who don’t know what that is, here’s a quick link. As any good banker would do, I decided to try their product to get a better sense of how they worked, and ended up picking a Kava based extract. It was supposed to help relieve stress, and hey, I had plenty of that so I figured I had nothing to lose. So I popped a few drops on my tongue, waited two minutes and...HOLY CRAP. My entire mouth and face went completely numb. Not only that, but I could FEEL a calmness comes over my entire body - I was hooked.Still, there was something I couldn’t shake about the product itself. It obviously worked great, but there were so many issues with the experience of using it that I couldn’t bring myself to use it regularly. The labels and logo looked dated, the delivery system (via a dropper) wasn’t convenient at all, and the marketing was all off - I couldn’t find a single person in their ads that was my age. It felt like the product just wasn’t made for someone like me.We ended up selling the company and everyone was happy, but I still couldn’t shake what I had felt before. How could a company with such an amazing product still makes me not want to use it? It was then that the little lightbulb in my head went off. Was it just this company that made me feel this way, or was there truly no company out there that had it all - modern appealing packaging, all-natural herbal ingredients, and marketing geared towards a more modern demographic? Turning to my good pal Google, I went to work. While a few companies popped up that satisfied some of my criteria, I still felt like none really hit the nail on the head.After that, I was sold. I figured I had nothing to lose, and more importantly, I realized I had a real chance to make a difference and allow people to unleash their highest performing selves. Who in their right mind would say no to that? So with little more than enthusiasm and an idea, I got to work making a brand that would really stand out from the crowd. Before I did though, I wrote down the things I want my brand to have and do so that I wouldn’t lose sight of my goal:The company had to look and feel professional, with marketing, a website, and branding that were all top notchThe product label had to be unique yet appeal to everyone, and eliminate that “medicinal” and “prescription pill” look of current supplementsThe ingredients had to be 100% natural, healthy, and effective without hiding behind “proprietary blends”, weak dosages, or fillers. In two words - ZERO COMPROMISEMy products had to solve REAL issues people cared aboutI had to have fun, and love the entire processimageTake us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product....aaaand then I was stuck. I literally had no idea where to start. To make matters worse, I was getting absolutely crushed with work at my job and was really considering shelving the idea permanently. But then I got real with myself. I realized that if I never pursued this opportunity, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I would continue to see other people living out their dreams while I worked insane hours making their dreams a reality. Hell. No.The next few months were an absolute blur. I would come home late at night, hit the gym, and immediately start working on Pilly right afterwards. I filed my LLC paperwork through Legal Zoom, skipped lunches to open a bank account for my business and get on calls with graphic designers, found label printing companies, and would spend my nights researching ingredients to use in my first few products.After maybe 15 label iterations (you can see one of my earliest iterations and my current one below), multiple formulation changes, and tons of sleepless nights, I finally had some real momentum.imageProbably my biggest break was finding a fantastic manufacturer two hours away from my house who had a low MOQ (minimum order quantity), great feedback on my ingredients and dosages, and fair pricing. Having had multiple manufacturers ghost me or not even take me seriously, I felt pretty lucky that I was able to find them. And so, about 3-4 months into my venture, I was no longer stuck, I was back in business.After placing my order and waiting for two months, I was able to get my first batch of inventory. Given all the research and back and forth I had with my manufacturer, I was ecstatic that things went off without a hitch. The bottles and labels were exactly how I wanted them, and best of all, the products WORKED. After doing a quick victory lap, I called up a few friends and family that I had told about my business and asked them to try the products too. Luckily, their results were just as good as mine. At that point, I felt comfortable enough to bring my products to market. It was time to sell.Describe the process of launching the business.As my manufacturer told me, “Great, you made the product. Now you’re only 10% of the way there.” The other 90%? Marketing. In truth, he was right. It’s one thing to actually create a product, it’s something entirely different to try and reach people that would use it in a creative and cost efficient way. And now that I had my inventory, I had to set out to create a presence that was uniquely mine on the internet.Making an online presence for Pilly was probably the area where I made the most mistakes. I tried to go the cheap route with a less than stellar website designer, hired someone to manage my social media accounts that really didn’t understand my brand, and didn’t really take the time to learn how to market my product. Sure, I could blame the long hours at work or my lack of understanding of marketing, but at the end of the day I knew I’d have to own my mistakes. After all, that’s really what entrepreneurship is - learning as you go, iterating a million times over, and finding ways to master practices you’ve never even done before.After my initial setbacks, I was able to find an absolutely incredible website coder on 99 Designs to build my site, do some quick photoshoots with the help of my friends and family, get a pretty solid social media following, and ultimately launch. And let me tell you, flipping the website live was one of the most gratifying experiences of my life.imageI think everyone can see what I’m saying… Left hand side is the original website with its cartoon font and typos. Right hand side is our current website. The difference is unreal, and customers notice!After 9 months of hard work bootstrapping and financing the entire business myself, I finally had a real business up and running. In retrospect, I think one of the biggest lessons learned on that day is not to doubt myself. Nearly every day since I decided to start the business, I heard a little voice in my head telling me how crazy I was for pursuing this. But after I finally flipped my website live, that voice completely disappeared.As for the launch itself, I used everything at my disposal to try and drive traffic to my site. I posted on social media, told all my friends and family about it, and reached out to tons of influencers, writers, and pretty much anybody that I thought would enjoy my products. The result was pretty great, with sales starting at a slow trickle and then picking up consistently. To be honest, it gets tough at times to balance my current job and invest in Pilly’s growth, but the satisfaction of knowing that my products are helping real people is all the motivation I need to keep going.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?Since launch, we’ve seen a majority of our traffic (~70%) come from Google PPC ads. I think the beauty of google is that every search is intent driven, meaning that people are actively looking for a service or product when they google certain keywords.So when people search for anxiety supplements, you know they WANT to buy our product. When people search for ways to relieve hangover symptoms, they’re actively looking for products that can help with that problem. It’s also helped to link my Google Ads account to Google Analytics, which is a super powerful tool that allows you to see all kinds of metrics about your web traffic.I can’t give away all my secrets, but I will say that the two most impactful component of ads are your keywords and your ad copy. For keywords, Google allows you to bid on each click (thus ‘CPC’ or Cost per Click) that you drive towards your website. If you have super high quality keywords, you get more clicks. If you have low relevance keywords, which would be like me serving my adswhen someone searches for “chocolate cake”, you’re basically throwing your money away. For ad copy, we’ve seen HUGE swings in the profitability of our ads by changing a few words or phrases. For example, using the phrase “Hate your Hangover?” instead of “Hangover Pill” is way more engaging. For anyone working with Google Ads, learn to iterate and think like your customer. What can you write to immediately engage someone with your brand?imageSample dashboard from Google Ads. This literally just scratches the surface in terms of the analytics you can get...Approximately 20% of our customer traffic has come from Instagram, which is truly an amazing platform to interact with fans of our brand.https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxm0wmmB8ioDuring lunches of breaks at work, I’m constantly on Instagram answering DM’s from people interested in Pilly. I’ve also been toying with facebook and Instagram ads as well, which I’ve heard have roughly a 40% lower CPA than Google Ads, so that’ll be something that I’ll look into more over the coming months.I’ve also heard that email marketing is the holy grail of customer retention because it’s free, easy, and targeted towards people that clearly want your product. Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to really invest into some stellar email campaigns, but I’m hoping to do that very soon.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?Today, things are going exactly as I’d hoped. Sales are ticking upwards, the feedback I get from people using my product is awesome, and I absolutely love watching the business grow.Although the business is profitable, I think there’s always room for improvement. Our gross margins are right around 80% for each bottle we sell but we’re not netting as much as we can be because we haven’t optimized some of our ads (our CPA is higher than I’d like). Since marketing is our biggest expense now, lowering CPC and CPA is one of my highest priorities in the coming months.imageIn the medium to long term I have 3 main goals. The first is to find a top notch 3PL that I can use for product fulfillment. Given that I’m fulfilling every order myself now, taking that off my plate would give me an insane amount of time back. My second goal is to launch a few more products by the end of the year, including supplements for memory/focus, restful sleep, and energy. My third and probably most ambitious goal is to scale up my business to the point where I can work on it full time. Running this business has truly been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done, and if I can get it to the point where I change it from side hustle to full time job, I’d be the happiest guy on earth.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpfulor advantageous?As I’ve built this business, there’s been a lot of times when I’ve made mistakes, made the wrong choice, or just flat out messed up. But the important thing was that I learned from those times and made myself better because of them. If I had to distill down those lessons into a few points, it would probably be these 6:Create ValueMake. Good. Products. At the end of the day, business is insanely simple. People have problems, and they’re willing to pay to have those problems solved. Does your product or service fix those problems? Does your product or service create enough value where someone would pay for it? If the answer is yes, then you’ve got a good business. It’s as simple as that.Wow Your CustomersThere are trillions of products out there just like yours, so what makes yours so special? In order to stand out from the crowd, you have to go above and beyond to make them feel special, and make them feel like your product truly is the best.With Pilly for example, every package we ship is custom branded, comes with a custom thank you card, and is wrapped in some super cool branded wrapping paper. It elevates the experience from normal to outstanding, and customers notice. So when you’re making your product ask yourself how you can wow and excite your customers.Don’t be cheapThis one hits close to home, but sometimes it pays to not cut corners. I thought I was doing the right thing by getting a cheaper web designer for example, but all it ended up doing was costing me time and tons of money. When it comes to the core expenses of your business (ingredients, packaging, websites, etc.) go for quality. Always.PerseveranceYou will hear “No” a million times. People will laugh. People will reject you. People will say your business idea is bad. But instead of proving them right, use that negativity as fuel to prove them wrong. Find it in yourself to persevere even when it seems like nobody is in your corner. I guarantee it’ll make success that much sweeter.Google is your friendThis is a no brainer, but literally anything you could ever want to know or do can be found on the internet. If you’re unsure how to do something, look it up and figure it out. Become a student of the game. Entrepreneurship isn’t easy, but there’s also no reason to say you didn’t know how to do something when you can easily look it up and learn how to do it in a day.Embrace the Fing hustle*Nothing worthwhile in this life is easy. If you want something, you go get it, and you don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way. Period. When I first didn’t have a place to store all my inventory, I made my apartment my storage space. When I didn’t know how to run ads, I taught myself. When I didn’t know how to apply for a tax license, I researched it. Hustle, grind, be resourceful, and persevere, and things will come.What platform/tools do you use for your business?Shopify for e-commerce. It’s truly a game changer for entrepreneursGoAffPro for affiliate marketing. It integrates right into shopifyKlayvio for email marketing99 Designs for most freelance design workInstagram and Facebook for MarketingGoogle Ads and Facebook Ads for PPC advertisementsPhotographer - Nicole Albrecht(she’s amazing)What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?My favorite book by far has been The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ Demarco. Anyone who hasn’t read it absolutely should. His perspective and analogies are top notch and really make you see things from a different perspective.As for podcasts, I think everyone should listen to The MFCEO Project by Andy Frisella. He’s a no bullshit, incredibly successful entrepreneur who tells it like it is. He’s probably one of the most motivational people I know with some of the most practical, actionable advice out there. On my commutes to and from work, it’s my go-to podcast for sure.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?If I had to leave anyone with one piece of advice, it’s to fail fast, fail often, and fail forward. Starting a business is tough, especially if you’re going at it alone in a field you have no expertise in. Understand that you will make mistakes (and you’ll probably make a lot of them) but don’t allow them to defeat you. Learn from them, see them as opportunities for growth, and use it as fuel to propel your brand to the next level.Another piece of advice is to go out there and just do. At some point in history, there’s going to be someone that does that thing you really, really want to do. So why can’t it be you? Life isn’t meant to be lived on the sidelines, it’s meant to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest extent. So if you have an idea or a business you want to start, just start. The rest of it will fall into place and your life will be so much richer because of it.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?As of now we’re not looking to hire for any full time positions, but we’re always looking for more help in the following areas. If any readers have expertise in these areas we’d love to chat!Graphic DesignLabel Design & 3D mockupsCopywritingInstagram Influencer Outreach / Contact - We have an awesome affiliate program with 15% commissions. If anyone knows people in the field that would love to rep our products, let’s get in touch!Where can we go to learn more?Website: GetPilly.comInstagram: @PillyLabsEmail: Info@getpilly.comIf you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM