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maxwellatoms · 1 year ago

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Hello Mr. Atoms, I'm an animation student in college and fan of your work. I got this assignment in which I need to ask questions to a professional in the area. Could you pretty please answer them? It'd mean a lot to me.

1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.

2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?

3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?

4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?

5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?

Okey dokey.

1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.

Not really, in that there seems to be no career left.

The animation industry swelled its numbers greatly before 2020. Almost immediately after that, corporate greed synergized with a pandemic to reduce animated programs and the number of people working on them to almost zero. It takes almost a year from beginning to end to make a single episode of an animated show (by the modern standard). There was nothing being made in 2020 and four years later, we''re not in a much better spot. It's going to be a long drought for (especially) Kid's TV Animation.

Recently, many of my former co-workers have hit the financial wall and can't continue, moving away after (sometimes) 20 years in the industry. I begin to wonder if I'm very far behind.

A "bounce back" a year from now would need to start today. There are still some animated shows being made now, but those are almost universally "library" properties. That means it's an existing I.P. (Intellectual Properties like Garfield/Mario/Batman/Star Wars) so as an artist you're immediately in that box. Depending on the property and the studio, it can be an unpleasantly tight box. I grew used to holding and maintaining the vision for a show, but it's less fun when it's not my vision. It's even less fun when you can't inspire someone to follow your vision because they've been so ruthlessly abused.

I'm pretty sick of how big media corporations treat their employees. If I inherit one more burnt out crew due to mismanagement, I'm gonna lose it.

Over a decade ago I fought hard to get board artists story credit for the episodes they were actually writing, and felt like I'd won a big victory for everyone. The second my back was turned, it all reverted.

Mostly... what is the point now? My career is/was developing ideas, crafting those ideas into a workable show, then managing teams of thirty to seventy people to produce a couple of dozen episodes per year. Studios actively do not want new ideas right now, and are actively searching for ways to eliminate what artists from the process. I'm not sure what my job would be under this new system, but it feels like they decided to hang onto the anxiety-inducing deadlines while removing anything remotely pleasurable from the experience.

2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?

It's the only way to get anything done, currently.

The current state of the industry is not sustainable. I (along with a lot of other animators I know) are trying to decide what's next, and pretty much everyone agrees that "you just have to make something".

It is (in that very specific way) a great time to be a young animator. The system was never going to treat you well anyway. If you can get something like a Hazbin Hotel happening without studio help, you can currently write your own ticket. I'm super proud of Vivsie, because that's a LOT of stuff to handle. I never had to handle my own marketing or drum up money to make Billy & Mandy happen.

There are opportunities there, but it's definitely "Hard Mode". The best idea is probably to team up with a few other people you like and like to work with.

Hopes? I hope that the young animators take over and make something new on top of the bones of the old industry, rather than just allowing that industry to patch its rotting hide with their collected works.

3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?

I suspect true AI might just peace-out like ScarJo in "Her", but we're not there yet. What we have now isn't Artificial Intelligence at all (though I do believe it may be the underpinnings of the Artificial Suconscious of what may one day become an actual Artificial Intelligence.)

The LLMs and "Generative AI" are (so far) a big dumb waste. They consume tons of energy and aren't great for doing anything creative. If you've sat down with Chat GPT for a creative writing session, you've probably run into the "out of the box" limitations which prevent it from talking about sex or violence-- which happen to be a major component of most stories.

Still, the technology has come incredibly far in an incredibly short amount of time. I imagine we're going to hit the point where we're being hazed by artificially generated political ads way before Generative AI can produce a consistent and usable character turnaround, so that'll be the test. Whatever the legal fallout is from this stuff over the next few years will set the tone.

Still, studios have a vested interest in pleasing their shareholders. Generative AI potentially has the capability of not only replacing swaths of money-eating artists, but handing that control directly to the billionaire studio heads. Mark my words: We're headed straight for billionaire-generated content.

I don't think the public at large will want to watch Elon Musk's fever dreams, so there's that. So law and general distaste might stave it off for a while, but I think there's just too much impetus for studios to continue to try to please their investors. "AI Art" is here to stay.

Eventually that will lead to millions and millions of bots generating millions and millions of songs and paintings and movies all day every day. Most of it will be utter trash. Right now (so I'm told) viewers are already burnt out, and will generally only click on what they already know. On Netflix, where there are twenty things you've never heard of and one you have, you're more likely to pick the thing that gives you comfort and gives you a guarantee you're not wasting your time. With exponentially more A.I. trash, how would you even begin to filter it out?

You'd need absolute control of an already existing distribution system. We currently have a few of those, and all of the media companies are desperately trying to merge with them to insure their own survival.

To me, the post-Gen-AI landscape looks a lot like old-school Cable, but with endless I.P. and fewer masters.

4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?

The real question is, maybe, "What am I even doing?" These days I try to do a lot of gardening. I'm trying to learn new art skills, because suddenly twenty five years of experience managing, drawing, and writing isn't worth much. I recently worked on Jellystone until Zaslav lost 2.5 billion in the wash and had to find justification for his new yacht. The show before that? Also culled midway through to save money. The days of multi-year gigs seem to be over, and if I'm going to scrape by doing freelance, maybe I can do that somewhere else.

I'll always make art. I can't seem to help it. Ideas aren't my problem-- it's executing those ideas without the help of a structured pre-existing system. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to pull that off. My strengths are great, but were always supported by friends I worked with.

Can I start an indie cartoon with all of these cool friends? Sure, maybe. Most of those people have gone on to have other careers of their own and got used to being paid. Now nobody is getting paid and no one can pay anyone else. My immediate circle are all now middle-aged people with families and no jobs. Convincing them to give up a large chunk of their day for an idea that's not guaranteed to pay off is going to take some real effort.

I technically have fifteen years until I can claim my "retirement", assuming that still exists by then. That's a pretty big hole to fill with... I don't know what.

The difficult "What comes next" discussions at home are really just starting.

5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?

There are a lot of cool animation people out there. I already mentioned I was proud of Vivsie. I was also reminded recently just how great C.H. Greenblatt and Mr. Warburton are. I know they're my friends. They're both just really upstanding, creative people who take good care of their crews.

The treatment of animation industry professionals by the studio system has been one of the most demoralizing and heartbreaking parts of this demoralizing and heartbreaking time.

---

So there ya go. If you want to look for someone whose attitude is a little more upbeat, I won't blame you a bit.

Wherever you are, I wish you the best of luck. For me, just climb up there and crush it. I would very much like to add you to #5 someday.

#maxwell atoms #animation industry #grim reaper

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simpsdept · 1 year ago

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Carmilla Carmine x female reader ABC smut headcannons

A/n: I did this on another account for Lapis Lazuli, let’s hope this one goes well too lol!

Requested by: no one.

Warnings: smut, gay sex. A lot more but you’ll see in the headcannons(I ain’t gonna list every headcannon)

A- After Care (what their like after sex)

-Sweetest and most caring woman ever after sex. She’ll make sure your hydrated, comfortable, cleaned up and even fed if your hungry after. She’ll even help you take a bath or shower if needed

B- Body Part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner and themselves?)

-For her? She likes her thighs. In sex or out of sex. It doesn’t really matter. She enjoys having you touch and sit on them, grind on them or simply rest on them.

-For you, she enjoys your hands. Also in and out of sex. She loves how both of your hands can intertwine together in public, or how you can caress her and touch her. Also she enjoys your fingers in her so that’s a plus for her

C-Cum (anything to do with it)

-50/50 for her. She enjoys it but she isn’t crazy about it. She’ll eat you out but sometimes doesn’t swallow all the cum. Sometimes she’ll just wipe it onto the bedsheets to get it off of herself. It’s kinda messy for her and sticky if there’s too much, which is uncomfortable.

D-Dominant or Submissive? (Their position in sex)

-She leans on more of the Dominant side. She’s not a controlling top, but she does like taking the reins. Either that or a power bottom, but she’ll let you have full control too.

E-Experience (how experienced are they?)

-She’s pretty experienced. She’s not like angel dust or some succubus who’s really good at it, but she can satisfy you better than a lot of people can.

F/Favorite Pose/position (y’all know what this is)

-Missionary. No doubt. She enjoys seeing you. Whether you’re on top of her or if she’s on top of you. She likes seeing your reactions up close and it’s much easier for her to kiss and pleasure you.

G-Goofy (how serious are they in bed?)

-To her intimacy is not about jokes and goofing off. Yea she’ll tease you here and there and chuckle sometimes at your reactions, but she isn’t going to be that goofy.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they?)

-She’s pretty well groomed. Being a weapon armor Overlord she likes to stay professional, so keeping herself well groomed (even in the areas that aren’t showing) is how she rolls.

I-Intimacy (are they romantic?)

-100%. She’s one of the most romantic girls ever. I feel like if she’s feeling really romantic, she’d get the room cozy and soft and dimly lit with candles and rose petals. Also the bath tub too. Bath tub hot and warm, filled with rose petals and candles around it, and wine for you two to drink to get the mood up.

J-Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

-She isn’t one to jack off. If she were to it would be like at most 5 times a year. She won’t jack off unless she’s really in need of release and you’re not there.

K-Kinks (one or two of their kinks)

-Praising and BDSM. Light BDSM though, like soft handcuffs or belts. Nothing too extreme where your all tied up. She wants you to be comfortable. She loves receiving bondage too, also lightly, she doesn’t want to be all tied up and fully restrained where she can’t even move. She enjoys giving and receiving praise, she won’t be too graphic about it but she’ll go far with that one

L-Location (where would they want to do it?)

-The place she mainly wants to have sex with you at is in your guys room alone. She enjoys having the moment romantic and relaxing. Though she’s up for sex in the bath if you’re up for it.

M-Motivation (what turns them on?)

-You just being sexy or seductive. If you’re in an aroused position, then that will make her aroused. If you’re speaking seductively with a smirk on your face, then she’ll be turned on. Also touching. Like rubbing your hands against her thighs or waist. She also enjoys heated kisses on her mouth or neck, it’ll turn her on.

N-No (where do they draw the line?)

-Any actual pain. She’s okay with light biting and anything pleasurable. But nothing to far. She doesn’t want to hurt you and doesn’t feel comfortable inflicting any pain on you, or herself.

O-Oral (What their like giving/receiving)

-She’s good at it, a woman knows what another woman wants. Her tongue’s incredibly skilled, she could make you cum with just licking your thighs.

-She loves receiving oral. She’ll be holding back all her groans and moans as she’s practically sweating from the stimulation.

P-Pace (Are they Rough and fast? Or slow and sensual?)

-Most of the time slow and sensual. Though if you want rough then she’ll give you rough. She likes slow and sensual for herself though, she rarely asks you for it to be rough.

Q-Quickies (Their opinions, experiences, etc.)

-She’d rather not, but she finds herself using them sometimes. She does it with you sometimes at work if either one of you needs some sort of release. But she’d rather have you in bed with her and take her sweet time.

R-Risk (are they willing to experiment? Risks?)

-Risks are rarely or not ever taken. She cherishes her time with you and wouldn’t risk getting hurt, or getting caught. She’s willing to experiment different positions, styles, or habits though

S-Stamina (How long can they go for?)

-Normally, she can for about 2 or 3 rounds. But she can go for 4 or 5 sometimes if you both are really in the mood and need it.

T-Toys (do they use toys?)

-Sometimes but not often. She’d rather use herself (fingers, mouth, tongue, etc.) rather than be objects, but she’s up for it once in a while

U-Unfair (do they like to tease?)

-yes, she does. Though it’s not harsh or cruel, a few small jokes or words or actions but not to much.

V-Volume (How loud are they?)

-From quiet to medium. She’s not too nosy, she’s loud enough for you to hear though. She will get louder sometimes if you go rougher on her though.

W-Wild card(just a random headcannon for the character)

-She doesn’t show a lot of PDA, but sometimes during meeting with other overlords, when she’s sitting down with you, she’ll trial her fingers up and down your thighs.

X-Xray (what are they like underneath those clothes)

-She’s smooth, and if you already couldn’t tell, she’s pretty thin too. Uhh breast size, not so big either but it’s not like it matters.

Y-Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-Not very high. She has a pretty low sex drive. She’s usually not in the mood or too busy. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have desires, it’s just not often.

Z-Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)

-She waits for you to fall asleep, wanting you to feel comfortable and safe in her arms. Though if you go hard on her then she’ll probably pass out before you, especially if you had sex on a busy stressful day.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #carmilla carmine smut #carmilla carmine x fem reader #carmilla carmine x reader #carmilla carmine #carmilla x fem reader #carmilla #human reader #character x reader #hazbin hotel x female reader

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majkuindelululand · 8 days ago

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I’m not sleeping, I swear. I’m just thinking.

Hello, my little bears. Welcome to the era of Jikook. Get comfy, because it’s going to take a while—and they’re not being kind to us. I highly recommend microwave popcorn so you don’t miss anything while slaving over a pot.

So. This happened.

Quick rundown: Jimin and Yoongi arrive at the airport, likely coming from the same place, same car. Yoongi is just standing there, casually scanning the area, giving exactly zero shits as per usual. Meanwhile, Jimin looks a little… buzzed? Not nervous per se, but kind of restless. He clearly refuses something the manager says, there’s a bit of back and forth—and he doesn’t move a step until Jungkook shows up.

What do we see next? The most awkward moment ever. And it happens so often we really should be used to it by now. I mean their handshake. You know—the one where two adult men, presumably familiar with basic social etiquette, forget how to shake hands in the most childlike way possible. Face to face, right hand to right hand, short shake—easy, right? Even my 8-year-old daughter knows that. (For the record, she saw this post, squealed, and screamed “MOM! GAYS!” She can recognize Jungkook and Jimin, but only without masks. So no, I’m not indoctrinating her. I mean, not that much.)

Instead of a normal handshake, we get some wild wrist-grabbing moment. Jimin seems convinced it's time to go, so he leads (which, not gonna lie, is kinda hot). Then they let go. Could’ve been a mistake, maybe accidental. But the confidence in Jimin’s step, those one and a half strides ahead of JK, just scream “YES, THIS IS HOW WE DO THINGS.”

Now let’s talk about the real attention-grabber: Jungkook’s nails. Painted.

Sure, we’ve seen BTS members with painted nails before. Hoseok’s was iconic. Jimin had some cute stickers during the “FACE” promo.

But I don’t recall Jungkook ever doing it.

And what stands out is the color choice. Black? Whatever. It’s a safe bet, especially with his image. But let’s talk about the blue.

1. The blue & the Polished Man campaign

I’ve seen a few posts floating around and looked into it myself. The Polished Man campaign raises awareness about the horrifying fact that 1 in 5 children experience violence. Celebs around the world paint one fingernail blue during October to support the cause. And yeah, I think the theory makes sense—but some details rule it out. First: it’s July, not October. Second: multiple nails are painted. But if this was it? JK, you sweet, pure creature. Was that your quiet way of separating yourself from that fake video of you with a woman…?

2. CK accents

This is the theory I lean toward the most. JK is spontaneous as hell. And his nails? Also look spontaneous. Kinda messy. Probably stickers? Doesn’t look like actual nail polish—and even if it is, it’s sloppily applied. Definitely not a professional manicure.

So maybe he was just somewhere, saw the polish, and went “hey, this color matches my CK hat!” (He's a brand ambassador, remember?) And there’s literally nothing else colorful in his outfit. That’s so something I’d do. I mean, that’s why I keep polish away from my desk—I’d totally paint my nails out of boredom. And I can’t wear nail polish, considering I spend 100% of my day smashing a keyboard for work as a programmer. What makes this configuration even sweeter is that it's this particular finger, and Jimin indicates blue as his favorite color...

3. A blatant attempt to scream “Jikook is real” in neon letters

Okay, listen. I genuinely think JK is the biggest Jikook shipper of us all. But seriously? I don’t think this was calculated.

More likely? JK painted his nails, and then Jimin just happened to wear that blue Dior hoodie. Or maybe they talked about it and Jimin subconsciously chose it? I really doubt Jimin sent him an outfit rundown and JK went on a hunt for the exact matching shade of blue. That would be… dumb. Especially when you remember the nail color also matches his cap. It’s way more likely Jimin picked out his hoodie after the fact—or JK matched his nails to the cap, not to Jimin.

So yeah. That’s colors handled.

Let’s circle back to that hand-holding and let me get personal for a second.

I’ve been in an on-again-off-again, slightly chaotic relationship for over a decade. That matters. What also matters is that, somewhere along the way, even when we weren’t romantic, the relationship evolved into a very stable friendship—partly because we share a kid.

It’s not simple. But one thing that’s always been meaningful over the years is... holding hands.

That might sound funny to you, but it’s kind of our theme. Not just because we missed that contact when we weren’t romantic, but because we eventually developed a whole language around it.

We’re both introverts. PDA is not our thing. I’m depressive, anxious, have social phobia so bad that after just a few days on vacation with friends, I started showing physical symptoms of stress (like getting a cold in July). People were amazed I lasted a full BBQ night without running for my room.

But my partner learned to reach for my hand. Sometimes just pinky to pinky. Sometimes a full awkward handshake from the opposite direction. Sometimes lying in bed, not even touching, but still holding hands across the sheets—him snoring, me still reading. Sometimes a fleeting squeeze in a checkout line, just to say, “I’m here. If this gets too much, you can bail.”

He learned to read my touches too. When I reach first, that’s “hey babe, it’s okay, stop worrying.” When I touch a certain way, it means “let’s find somewhere quiet, I need a hug.”

This kind of touch is instinctive, layered, powerful. There’s a reason clasped fingers symbolize love.

And Jikook? They’ve had this hand-holding thing for ages. It’s not just now. Remember the last OT7 live? That random moment where Jimin just reaches back and grabs JK’s hand out of nowhere? And JK squeezes and rubs his thumb across it?

That’s not formality. That’s comfort. That’s care.

That kind of instinctive connection doesn’t come out of nowhere.

So here’s my take:

JK’s nail color could mean something—or absolutely nothing. Maybe they joked about it, and Jimin didn’t even think when he grabbed that blue hoodie.

The hand-holding might mean more—or maybe it’s just how they walk, like always.

Jimin waiting at the airport might mean more—or maybe it’s just that his plan already included JK being there, and he got thrown off.

And let’s spare a moment of appreciation for Yoongi, who just stood there being the most Yoongi version of Yoongi to ever Yoongi.

#Jikook #Jimin #Jungkook #BTS

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fangirlstorycreator · 4 months ago

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Terry Silver X Reader

Contains: strong language/swearing

Part 3/4

Terry wasn't expecting you to come by so soon, or at such a late hour. There he was, staring into his wine glass, thinking he'd screwed things up with you, but now, hear you were. But what was your choice? Was your presence going to improve his night? Or make it that much worse?

"Can I uh, get you anything to drink?"

"No thank you, I'm ok"

"Right....right I uh..."

"Terry, you can breathe"

"Hm?"

"Your look a little on edge. It's ok"

"....Sorry...I guess I'm just a little nervous. Man....I haven't felt nervous in years"

"Would you still feel that way if you were to walk down the street with me on your arm?"

"Oh absolutely not, having you would-w-w-wait?! Say that again?"

Seeing him flustered like this was adorable, and something you never see. You chuckle, tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and smile. Taking a step closer, your eyes never leave his.

"Terry.....I've been thinking a lot about what's happened between us. Our relationship at the dojo, our friendship...this change.... I thought it was something that shouldn't've happened at first, I'm not someone whose concerned about age, age is just a number to me. But it was the thought of the work balance for me, our professional relationship-"

"Please don't think your job is in danger because of this Y/N. No matter what you choose, this won't affect your career"

"I know. I know that. This....thing we have, it's not bad. And...it's not something I regret"

"It's not?"

"No......on the contrary....I'm glad this has happened"

".....Really?"

"Yes Terry.....Terry when I'm with you...I feel like I'm worth something. You treat me with trust, understanding, respect, something my ex's never gave me. And yes, like you said, this is all very sudden. Me breaking up with Aiden, sleeping with you, the timing isn't perfect. But in life, nothing is perfect. All I know is.....that when I'm around you......"

"......Yes?"

"....I'm happy.....and that's what I want. I want to feel happy, I want to be happy.....I want you....to experience this with you.....life's short....and it should be fun, enjoyable, filled with wonderful moments. And your one of them.....I want to create more moments with you Terry. Screw what everyone else in the world thinks or says, you make me happy....."

His beautiful smile warms you inside, even when he steps closer to you, holding your chin with his hand and thumb.

"So.....that's what I wanted to tell you Terry......what are uh....what are you thinking?"

"......I'm thinking..........I wonder how many places in this house....can I make love to you in....."

"(Nervous chuckle).....I take that as.....you wanna give this a go?"

"I do.....the right way......Y/N.....what are you up to tomorrow night?"

"I have no plans...."

"Then I would very much like to take you out on a date.....take you to dinner....share a dance under the stars....walk you home....and kiss you good night.....how about it? Hm?"

"Terry, I would love too"

"Perfect..."

And that's exactly what you both did. Terry picked you up in his fancy, expensive car, drove you to a 5 star restaurant, paid for the whole thing, and even took some time with you, to walk along the beach bare foot before driving you home, and kissing you goodnight. In yours, and definitely his eyes, it was the perfect date. It was wonderful spending this time with Terry, and getting to know this other side of him, you knew it wasn't going to be long before you were completely smitten. This continued. He'd take you out, afternoons, evenings, anytime really. Spoil you with affection, sweet words, dancing, showing you beautiful spots around the city, you couldn't ask for anymore. In the short time you had been with him, it felt absolutely wonderful, and you didn't even care that people would sometimes stare when you'd walk down the street hand in hand with Terry, or kiss him like noone else in the world existed, you were happy, blissfully so. And as for the bedroom....let's just say, Terry had the stamina of 3 men, half his age! He made you feel orgasm upon orgasm, especially when you really got down and dirty. But also, there were more tender moments, when you and him would be holding eachother, slow and sensual, kissing, he'd make love to you and make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, being with Terry made your life perfect. In fairness, it did take a while to tell John about the relationship, as he can be a bit hit or miss. But strangely, he wasn't angry. A little confused at first, but he'd noticed a drastic change in Terry since he'd been with you, and their working relationship had improved as well. He congratulated you both, but did say he didn't want to see any arguments about our relationship at work, which was completely fair. You and Terry were official now, and had been a couple for going on almost 5 months. One morning, you and Terry had just "shared" a shower together, and were both getting dressed in his bedroom, ready to head to work.

"I feel so bloated lately. I don't know if it's something in my diet, but I'm definitely bloated. Do I look bigger to you?"

"No matter your size, your still beautiful sweetheart"

"Oooh, very smooth. Ah well, it'll probably go away soon, maybe I'll try some green tea, I've heard that's good for this. Oh babe, can you throw over my bra please?"

"Sure. Ooooh....I see a veery nice red one hear....you want this one?"

He asks with a mischievous smirk, dangling the bra from his fingers.

"That depends....are you going to bite it off like you did, the last time we had a "private" meeting in the office?"

"Maybe...."

"(Smirk) Pass it over"

He chuckles as he throws it to you, and both carry on getting dressed. Once you both were, the morning carries on as usual. Breakfast, getting things ready to take to work, Terry trying as often as he could, to hug you from behind or kiss your neck, any excuse he can have to kiss any part of you, he'll take it, and you loved it.

"Ok, my lessons aren't starting till 10, so I was gunna drive to the supermarket and grab a few things before work"

"Alright sweetheart, I'll see you there"

He heads for the front door, but turns on his heels to come back, pulling you in for yet another sensual and hungry kiss.

"Mmm, you are insatiable this morning..."

"Can you blame me? And besides, I just can't get the memory of you and me in the shower out of my head....all wet...and steamy-"

"(Putting a finger over his lips) Aaand if you finish that sentence, you and I both know we'll end up being late again"

"(Chuckles) Alright.....I'll see you at work sweetheart...(kiss)....I love you..."

"........"

"What?"

"Terry that's.....that's the first time you've ever said that to me"

"I know....and your just gunna have to get used to that sweetheart..."

"....I love you too"

With a sweet smile and one last kiss, you watch and wave him goodbye as he drives off to the dojo. You can't believe it...he said he loves you, and he was the first to say it! Oh this day can only get better............Or so you thought......Once Terry left, you drive in the opposite direction to your local supermarket. You didn't need much, just a few essentials, shampoo, body wash, toothpaste etc. Strolling through the isles, you grab some tampons for when your due on, but suddenly, a voice from behind you makes your stomach turn.

"Uugghh, menstrual products. I don't see why they have to be on shelves for men to see"

Turning, you see it is who you thought it was. Your ex boyfriend, Aiden.

"I mean come on! Men don't want to see that kind of thing"

"I'll be sure to let a real man know when I see one"

"Pfft! Your looking at one, babe"

"I see nothing but an immature little boy....and don't...call me babe..."

With a face like thunder, you turn to walk away, but unfortunately, Aiden is the kind of person who wants nothing more than a reaction, and he was gunna try and get it.

"Are you missing me?"

He asks as he follows you.

"Not in the slightest"

"Ah come on, you must at least miss me in your bed?"

"Hm? Let me think? Do I really miss having a two minute wonder who always finished first? And new absolutely nothing about how to please a woman? Hm? It truly is a complete mystery"

"Hey! I was not a two minute wonder!"

"No, your right. Sometimes, if you tried hard enough, you could make it to 4"

"You can play this game all you like, I know you miss me....I know you want me back"

"(Laughing) Oh my god! You can't be serious?"

"Do I look like I'm playing with you?"

"You look like an idiot"

"Pfftt! Are you really telling me, that in the last 5 months since we've split up, that you haven't wished I was back?"

"In no way shape or form"

"I know your lying"

"Oh really? Do tell me why you've come to that ridiculous conclusion?"

"Cuz I was the only real man you've ever had....I could make you feel things noone else could...pleasure...extacy-"

"Hm, more like disgust, pity, loathing, that sounds more correct"

"(Mumbles under his breath) Look, I'll be straight with you. If you apologise to me, for throwing me out of the house, I may consider taking you back. Cuz I know you can't get anyone else....I'm the best thing you'll ever get"

"Awww....poor Aidan.....you see, your so so wrong about that. Not only, will I never lower myself to ever apologise to you for doing what was best for me. But.....I know my worth. I know I deserve love, companionship, respect. And now that your no longer in my life, I've found that. Your nothing but a soon to be distant memory. Your nothing to me Aiden. You had me, and you lost me. And now, I'm with a man who loves me for who I am. So this.. pathetic little attempt to put me down, manipulate me into thinking your the best I can get...will never work....So, with that, I hope you enjoy the rest of your shopping. Oh, and from the bottom of my heart, I certainly hope this is the last time I will ever see you. Bye"

He just stood there as you walked away, too shocked to say anything, all while you smiled, proud of yourself for how you dealt with him. After you bought your things, you headed straight to the dojo, got changed into your GI and started your lesson. After it finished, Terry had just finished up his own lesson, and the new group was coming in to be taught by John. Leaning against the wall as you said goodbye to your students, Terry came over and stood beside you.

"Hey sweetheart"

"Hi"

"How'd the lesson go"

"Pretty good thank you.....listen, Terry, could I possibly have a chat with you? In the office?"

"Mmm...a "chat" kind of chat?"

"No Terry, a real one"

"Oh! Oh, I've seen that look before. Something's troubling you. Of course, come on, John's just starting his lesson so we shouldn't be disturbed"

Terry locked the office door behind him when you took a seat, he sat on the edge of the desk, ready to listen.

"What's going on sweetheart? Has something happened?"

"It shouldn't be a big issue, but I just feel I should let you know something. About today"

"Today? Wait, I didn't do anything to upset you this morning did I?"

"Oh no no! Terry trust me, you haven't done anything. No, this is something that happened at the supermarket"

"The supermarket?"

"Yeh.....Aiden was there"

"Your asshole ex Aiden? What the hell did he want?"

"Best guess, to wind me up? Get a rise out of me? But it didn't go his way. And he also tried to convince me to go back to him"

"He what?!"

"Don't worry Terry, I'd rather walk across a field of Lego barefoot than ever even contemplate going back to that dick"

"Did you tell him you were with me?"

"I told him I was with a man who treats me the way I deserve to be treated, a real man, something he's never been. But I didn't say your name because I knew he'd start insulting you. And it's safe to say, if he did start that, I'd probably end up being taken out of that supermarket in handcuffs"

"(Chuckles) That's my girl.....but seriously sweetheart, are you alright?"

"Yes I'm ok, I just needed to tell you incase he turns up again"

"What makes you think he will?"

"Because he's Aiden, it's who he is. He needs to do everything in his power to destroy someone. And I feel bad saying I was with someone, because I just know he's gunna stop at nothing to find out who it is. And if he finds out it's you....babe I don't want you to get sucked into my problems when your not at fault"

"Sweetheart, listen to me"

He says calmly and sweetly, kneeling beside you and giving your hand a squeeze.

"Aiden is nothing but an asshole. And if he wants to play that game, so be it. Because he may think I'm just an old man, but you and I both know, I'm capable of things Aiden can barely even imagine. I can ruin him...fuck up his career...make his life a living hell with a simple click of my fingers. And you know what? If this asshole wants to fuck with my girl? He's in for a world of pain...because noone fucks with my girl.....I promise, I won't let him do anything to you or me, because I love you...and that will never change"

"I love you too Terry.....and thank you, thank you for understanding"

"Anything for you sweetheart"

At that moment, John quickly rushes in, looking for his belt upgrades for his students.

"Now where's the damn brown belts? Oh! Hi you two, don't mind me, just looking for the-ah! There they are. Oh, by the way, don't forget you've got a lesson starting in 20 minutes Terry"

"I know John"

John's out of there in a flash, closing the door behind him, Terry can't help but smirk.

"John's gotten himself so many students these days, sometimes I think he's bitten off more than he can chew. Even when we were younger, he overworked himself"

"I've told him he needs to book some kind of holiday, take some time to himself, relax"

"But he never does. You wanna know what I think? I think he needs a little company from a lovely lady"

"Terry, I see that look in your eye. If your gunna try and set him up on a blind date, at least tell him"

"But what if it's a nice surprise?"

"You can try and hide that smile all you like babe, tell him if your gunna set him up"

"Alright alright. But I do think having a lady in his life will improve him. I know it did me, and I have the best woman"

"Oh do you indeed?"

"Oh yeh.....and.....John said I'm not needed for another 20 minutes...."

"...Oh no....we can't in 20 minutes Terry"

"Not both of us, no....but.....I'm gunna be working very hard today...."

He stares at you with a dark lust, slipping under the desk and kneeling to your legs.

"And a working man.....needs a little snack...."

"Terry! Look, you can stroke up and down my legs all you like, but I'm not......I....I'm not....."

"See? You like the way I'm touching you sweetheart....just relax....while I....help myself...."

Later that day, it was in the early evening when you were packing up to go home. Terry had just handed you your handbag, and kissed your forhead.

"So how longs your meeting with John?"

"Well, it's a meeting aswell as ordering some more supplies for the training rooms, so I probably won't be home for a couple of hours"

"Alright, well I'm gunna head back to my place, but please let me know you got back safe after your meeting, yeh?"

"I will sweetheart"

With one final kiss, you say your goodbye and head back home, make some dinner and relax watching TV. It was late when Terry texted you, but you were still up watching your show so that wasn't a problem.

{Hi sweetheart, I've just got home and I'm just heating up that beautiful moroccan dish you made last night. I hope you sleep well. I love you. Terry x}

Aaaahhhh, can this man be anymore wonderful? After massaging him back, you head to bed and have a long night sleep. You didn't have to come into work until the late afternoon the next day, so you mentally planned for a lie in, but, something rather unexpected happened. You woke up when the sun came up, immediately running to the bathroom, and throwing up into the toilet. What the hell? This was so weird. Sitting beside the toilet, you try and think why you would be throwing up. It couldn't've been something you ate, if it was, it would have happened sooner. You didn't have a temperature, no headaches, nothing. Confused, you just glance around your bathroom...and your eyes land on your box of tampons.....your unopened tampons......oooooohh no...

"Wait a minute? When was the last time I even had a period? Did I have one last month? The month before that? Hang on, what's the date?"

Grabbing your calendar from the window sill, you check it....and see that you've missed a few periods...and are 6 days late with this one.

"........Oh god.....oh god oh god oh god......I'm late, I'm fucking late! Shit shit shit!"

Kneeling down and rummaging through your cupboard under the sick, you grab the emergency boxes at the back. Two pregnancy tests, for if this were to ever happen.

"Ok....ok, just breathe....I know I've been feeling bloated lately.....and that hasn't gone away....and I've been eating more than I'm used too....oh god.....I'll take the tests...and see if it's positive.....and if it is......I....I have no idea...."

You sat on the window sill for a good 20 minutes at first, just stating at the tests, scared to use them. But you knew you bad to find out if you were, you need to. Taking a breath, you brave it, and pee on both the sticks. Why is it when waiting for the results of a pregnancy test, that 2 minutes feels more like 2 hours? It was nail biting. What if you were? What if you weren't? Oh god this was hard.......(beep)......2 minutes was up, for both tests. Sitting on the bathroom floor, you hold both tests in each hand, slowly turning them over to see the results...............

".......................Both.................positive............oh my god...........I'm pregnant"

The moment you saw those positive pregnancy tests, your whole world changed forever. You stay sat on the floor, staring at the tests, shocked and utterly clueless on what you should do. You did want children, but you were planning this for the future, not now. But then again, most people don't plan their pregnancies, and they really enjoy becoming mothers, and do an amazing job. But what if you couldn't? What if you weren't fit to be a mum? What would Terry think? This and many many self doubting questions plagued your mind, filling you with worry. Dropping the tests, you hide your hands in your hair, grabbing at the scalp and feeling your breath begin to quicken. But.......one glance down at your stomach....calmed you.....grounded you.....reaching to your belly, you rest a hand where the baby is.....and just breathe. There's a baby in hear....your baby....yours and Terry's baby.....you've created life, a little person...your carrying a little person, created from yours and Terry's love.....oh.....why were you panicking? You and Terry created something beautiful. And yes, you didn't want kids this early, but you do want them....and now...one is hear, safe inside you. It was still early in the morning, you needed to make sure this was 100 % true. Sometimes pregnancy tests can be incorrect, so what better way to confirm this, than to go to the doctor. A quick call later, you've booked an appointment to be seen an hour before you start today, which was very lucky indeed. You didn't call or text Terry yet, as you wanted to be sure, and wouldn't want to get his hopes if it was a false-positive. An hour later, your being brought into the doctors room, lying on the surgical couch and the nurse is applying the jelly to your body.

"Ooh! It's cold"

"My apologies, it can be cold at first. So, you say you took 2 pregnancy tests? And they were both positive?"

"Yes. I've also been sick this morning and I've missed a few periods. I just wanted to make sure I was definitely pregnant"

"Many women do this too, sometimes tests can be a little tricky to read. Ok.....just checking you now....let's see.....ah! (Turns the screen to you) You were right miss L/N. You are indeed pregnant"

Seeing the little moving blob on the screen made it feel so much more real. That was your son or daughter, and you were going to be a mother.

"Oh my god......that's my baby"

"It certainly is. I can find out the gender for you if you like, your at the right stage, but from this scan I can tell you that the baby is healthy, growing well, and there are no abnormalities"

"That's wonderful. Thank you. I can't wait to tell Terry, he's the baby's father"

"I'm sure he'll be over the moon. Alright, I'm just printing the scan off for you now, and I can tell you that your currently 18 weeks into your pregnancy"

"18 weeks already? I didn't know that! I assumed a few, maybe 3 at most, not 18"

"Nope, definitely 18 weeks. Ok, let's wipe this jelly off you. And hear is your scan pictures. You just need to get a hold of your doctor who can discuss with you what you will need, and advice you on the right things to eat and do during your pregnancy"

"Thank you nurse"

There wasn't enough time to go home when you left the hospital, so you grab a drink in a cafe before you headed to the dojo, to tell Terry the good news. Although.....we have only been together a short time, what if he thought this was too soon? What if he wasn't ready for a baby? You hadn't even moved in with him yet, would a baby be too much for him? And another thing that's thrown you off a bit.....the nurse was adamant that the baby was 18 weeks old...18 weeks....that's almost the exact amount of time you and Terry have been together, or at least sleeping together. But, that means........no way! If the nurse is correct, you got pregnant the very first time you slept with Terry! Oh my god! You had no idea! Wow! What's Terry going to say when he finds out? You just needed to speak to him and find out. You finished your drink, headed to your car, but you suddenly stop when you reach for your car door. 18 weeks......18 weeks ago.......why is this not leaving your brain? Come on, think. This has to mean something-............Oh.........Oh no.......Aiden........Yes, 18 weeks ago, you slept with Terry....but, you remember, you slept with Aiden the day before you broke up with him......oh shit.......your pregnant....but don't know who the father is........this conception happened within a 3 day period, Aiden and Terry, but who's the father?

This sudden realization got you into a panic, this has changed your happiness to worry, almost fear. You can't tell Terry!-but you also do need to tell Terry! Or tell Aiden?! What if-no no NO! Oh god, what are you going to do?!...........Ok, just...take a breath....in...and out.....hhhooo....ok, think about this properly. You are in a committed relationship with Terry, the man you love with all your heart, you need to tell him about the baby. Terry knew you were with Aiden a short amount of time before getting with him, and when you explain the circumstances, you hope he will understand. Ok....time to speak to Terry. It was a 10 minute drive, but it felt like an hour with your mind racing the way it was, but you needed to tell him the truth. Entering the dojo, you see Terry and John talking to a few students.

"Hey! There you are sweetheart, did you sleep well?"

Terry asked sweetly, walking to you and giving you a kiss.

"Yeh, I did thanks.... so um.......is there any chance....I could talk to you? In private?"

"Of course, John's just about to talk his students through some new moves for his lesson"

He gently takes your hand and leads you to the office.

"This is the second time you've asked to see me in private sweetheart"

"Could you lock the door please?"

"Ooooh....like that is it?"

He turns to lock the door, then back to face you.

"If I'd've known you'd wanted to spend some quality time at work, I'd've brought along-uh? Sweetheart? What's wrong? You look really tense"

"There's uh......Terry there's something I need to tell you. But when I do, I need to explain why this has happened"

"Ok?...."

".....Ok...... ok, where do I begin? Terry, I love you"

"I love you too sweetheart"

".....Something has changed...and you need to know. But when I found out, I had no idea about the time difference at all"

"What do you mean?"

"I woke up this morning, not feeling myself. And when I found out the reason, I got checked to see if it was true"

"If what was true? You aren't hurt are you?"

"No no, I'm fine. But when I found out, I didn't realise there was a possibility there was someone else to be involved with this"

"Wha-"

"And I promise, I never did anything behind your back! The timing is just confusing and I don't know 100 % what the truth is, or who is the right person!"

"Sweetheart-"

"I-I just need you to know the truth because I love you and I swear I didn't think this was a possibility! I just-oh god if I tell you and you hate me-"

"Woh woh woh! That's enough"

He holds your arms, grounding you and trying to calm you. He also sits you on the office chair, kneeling beside you and resting his hand on your thigh, looking up into your eyes.

"Sweetheart, your beginning to panic. Just take some slow deep breaths for me ok? Whatever it is you need to tell me, just take your time. Whatever it is, I won't hate you, I could never hate you. (Brushes a strand of hair behind your ear) It's ok....I'll listen to you, whatever you need to tell me"

".................Terry............................I'm pregnant........"

"..............Y/N........did you just say your............pregnant?"

You nod, trying your hardest to keep the fearful tears at bay.

"..............Were having a baby?..........I'm.......I'm a dad?.......I'm going to be a father?!"

His excitement filled the room, as quick as a flash, leaning in and hugging you, showing how happy he was. Kissing your cheek, jumping from his feet and shouting.

"I-I'm gunna be a father! I'm a father! And you! We're going to have a baby! Oh sweetheart, a baby! This is amazing! I can't believe this is happening! Oh Y/N I can't believe we're having a baby!"

"......................well..........."

"Huh? Well what? Sweetheart? You looked worried. Are you ok? Oh no, your not frightened are you? Because no matter what's causing you pain or discomfort, I will be there for you, every step of the way!"

"...........Terry......it's not that.......it's about the dates....."

"The dates? Why? How far along are you?"

"..............18 weeks"

"18 weeks already? How does that make-wait? Huh! Oh my god! If your 18 weeks, that means I got you pregnant...the very first time we slept together?........Ok....I feel a little dizzy hear.....I had no idea I was actually able to still have kids at my age, but it's happened, I'm a father!"

"..............maybe......"

"........I'm sorry?.....why did you say that?"

"Terry, come sit with me. Please"

He did as he was told, but the worry on his face was so horrible to watch.

"Terry...you remember that we slept together 18 weeks ago"

"Of course sweetheart. I'll never forget that night, and now there's a little baby to prove it!"

"But...."

"But what?.....(holds your hand) it's ok......"

"Terry.....I did sleep with you that night....but....the day before I broke up with Aiden....the day before I found out he was cheating on me.....we did have sex too....."

"...........Oh........."

"Oh god I've been so frightened to tell you that, I only just remembered about it when I found out. I understand if you want this relationship to be over. I mean, what kind of woman sleeps with two men and doesn't know who the father is?!"

"Hey hey, it's ok-"

"No! No it's not ok! I don't know if your the father, and I know I don't want it to be Aiden! He would try and use the baby as a weapon! Make mine and the baby's life a living hell! I-(starts crying) I-god-I don't know what to do-I want it to be you-I don't want to loose you Terry-"

"Hey, sweetheart, Y/N look at me"

He says sweetly and calmly taking your face in his large soft hands, wiping some tears with his thumb.

"You are not going to loose me. I love you. I always have and I always will. And I know your scared, what woman wouldn't be? But no matter what the outcome is, no matter if Aiden is the father or I am, I promise you now, I will be hear for you and the baby. No matter what. I promise. Now, just take some deep breaths for me ok? There you go, just slowly, calm yourself...that's it. Ok. I know you, and I know this is going to eat away at you unless you get an answer. So, why don't we find out"

"What do you mean find out?"

"There is a way to determine who the father is before the baby is born"

"How?"

"Well, have you ever heard of NIPP?"

"NIPP?"

"It stands for Non Invasive Prenatal Paternity. It's a test you can take to see who's DNA matches the baby's"

"But, it doesn't hurt the baby does it?"

"Oh no no! Of course not. The doctor will send a sample of blood to a lab, analyze the baby's DNA and if I give a cheek swab, they can determine the possibility of me being the father"

"And....and your sure the baby won't be hurt at all?"

"I'm sure sweetheart. Let me dry those tears, there we go. Listen....this is your body, your choice, and no matter what you decide to do, I will support you. But this isn't going to drive me away"

"(Takes a steady breath)........I want......I want to do the test....."

"Ok, that's ok. I'll book us an appoint this afternoon and we'll go together"

"But what about the dojo?"

"Fuck the dojo. Right now, you and this little baby are my only priority"

Terry was able to book an appointment with the doctor within minutes, and it wasn't even his doctor, it was yours. With Terry being the man he is, with all his connections and money, nothing was an obstacle for him. He kept you calm and centred, even on the drive to the hospital and during the blood test. He never left your side. After he got his cheek swabed, the doctor sent both the blood and Terry's DNA to the lab for testing. Your doctor told you both that that results could take up to 2 weeks, but sometimes the results can come sooner. This just made you feel even more uneasy, but again, Terry was your rock. The days felt so long, so slow, not even able to summon the strength to leave the bed for 2 days, racking your brain on what would happen if Terry isn't the father. But in those days, Terry was the big spoon, holding you, talking to you, doing his best to comfort you at this time. One afternoon, you were at his house, just drinking a glass of water by the sink, and Terry approached you.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok I guess"

"Oh sweetheart, I hate to see you this way"

"I'm sorry"

"No no, don't say sorry for anything. This is something your going through, and you can say or do anything you need to do, to get through this"

"...........I don't want Aiden to be the father........I want this to be your baby.......I want nothing more than for this to be your baby Terry"

"I know you do sweetheart, I want exactly the same"

He pulls you in for a warm hug, rubbing up and down your back, and planting a kiss on your forhead as you rest your head on his chest, hearing his calming heartbeat.

"I love you.....I love you so much"

(Beep.....Beep....)

"That's my phone. Just a sec Terry"

Untangling yourself from his arms, you pick up the phone and answer it.

"Hello?.....Oh! Dr Mills! I wasn't expecting a call from you this soon, it's only been 5 days........yep......ok........huh! Yes, yes we can come, well be there in 10 minutes....ok, thank you....Terry, they've got the results back"

"Already? Wow! Ok, let's get going!"

You and Terry sped to the hospital, eager to find out the test results, but it was early, was it inconclusive? Did something go wrong with the testing? You kept thinking about the what if's, even when sitting down in the doctors room with Terry.

"Alright Miss L/N, the test results have come back, and I felt it was better to speak to you face to face rather than on the phone"

"Ok.......so.....what are the results?......Is Terry the father?"

Link to final part

#sensei targaryen #terry silver #cobra kai #terry silver x reader #sexy terry silver #ck terry silver #terry silver xreader

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flowerandblood · 2 years ago

Text

The Taste of Shame (5)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, aggression, possessive behaviors, remorse, feeling of shame ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients - however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. It turns out that what he wants and what he doesn’t no longer matter when he meets his friend’s younger sister for the first time. Slow burn, sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Nothing more than kisses and cuddles happened between them that night, and although he was dying of lust and desire feeling her so close, he felt surprisingly good about waking up feeling her warm, soft hand stroking his cheek.

He lay there for a while with his eyes closed, just focusing on how pleasant and innocent the experience was, so far from what he had been doing for the last four years of his life.

He felt a kind of peace and fulfilment, a relief that she was still with him, that she had given him the chance to show her what he really wanted.

He opened his eyelids slowly and hummed quietly, stroking her back lazily with his large hand − she smiled sleepily at him, her loose hair in a slight disarray that, however, only added to her charm.

He pulled her close to him and kissed her in a drawn-out manner with a soft click − she purred into his mouth with a smile, surprised. He sighed, pressing his forehead against hers, devastated by the fact that they both had to go to their classes.

He texted her as soon as he arrived at the university, wishing her a good day and thanking her for giving him another chance, that he was happy and that, if that's what she wanted, they could meet without sex for now, just to be in each other's embrace.

For the first time in a long time, he felt proud of himself.

He felt mature.

They had agreed to spend the weekend together, maybe go to the cinema, have a beer at some pub or watch a series at his house, just relax together.

Like a couple.

He pressed his lips together with satisfaction just thinking about the fact that the more he was honest with her the more he got the feeling that things would work out, that they both had a weakness for each other and that maybe something would come of it.

He didn't like the fact that she kept lying to her family about spending this time at her friend's house, but he understood that she didn't feel ready yet, neither of them talking about anything officially recognising that it was a tad too early.

That evening when she arrived at his place they set off straight for his favourite pub housed in an old, eclectic building full of old photographs and paintings.

They sat at the bar; he liked that she was dressed as usual, in high-waisted trousers with her T-shirt tucked in − this didn't make him feel obliged to dress smartly, finding sitting in his black trousers and tight sweatshirt appropriate.

They ordered themselves a drink each, glancing at the TV hanging above them, news from their country was just airing. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, tapping his finger on the tabletop, and felt his heart squeeze when she noticed this and smiled at him.

He felt like kissing her, but refrained.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked lightly and he swallowed loudly, flinching as the barman handed them their orders − he took a quick sip of his whisky and grunted.

"About how… how I'm glad I told you about it all then, after the lecture, you know?" He hummed, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, feeling hot in his lower abdomen at the thought that she was so close, that he was going to spend as much as two days with her.

He swallowed hard feeling the throbbing in his trousers, trying not to think about the fact that they would be sleeping in the same bed.

She smiled gratefully at his words, lowering her gaze − he stared at her admiring under the light how long and shiny her eyelashes were when she sat in that position.

"− I'm very happy too − you surprised me, but I felt that you were stifling something inside you and that you were suffering − the very first day I saw you outside our house −" She said softly, taking a slow sip of her drink, looking up at him after a moment.

He was silent for a while, just looking at her gentle face, at the expression of serenity that shone from it, that somehow gave him a sense of security.

"− I suffered for many reasons at the time −" He muttered in a slightly trembling voice. "− mostly because I realised that because of what I was doing, I could never have you −"

"− you have me −" She said with embarrassment, her eyebrows arched in slight amusement and a kind of tender emotion. "− you have broken into my heart and fill it completely −"

He licked his lower lip involuntarily, looking at her intensely, feeling her words in the form of heat on his cheeks and in his trousers − he found to his dismay that he had become completely hard and shifted in his seat. He stared at her for a moment with his lips slightly parted, unable to get a word out.

I think I'm falling in love with you, he thought, but nothing came out of his throat.

Ignoring the other people standing and sitting at the bar beside them, he cupped her cheek in his free hand, leaned over and kissed her, clinging to her soft, moist lips for a long moment, hearing her quiet sigh of delight. Her fingers ran over his hand and then kissed it, in a gesture so tender that he felt ashamed.

He had done such fucked-up things with those hands, and now her innocent, warm lips were kissing him as if he were a saint.

He had no idea how he was supposed to keep his hands to himself this night.

They both grunted, seeing the other's gazes on them, and moved away from each other, changing the subject.

They chatted for a while about her studies and the new book on modern philosophy she was reading when suddenly someone patted her on the back, two guys and a girl stood behind her smiling.

"Hi! It's lovely to see you, what are you doing here?" Asked the one who touched her, embracing her − her eyes lit up in joy at the sight of them and she quickly greeted them, licking her lips, glancing at him uncertainly.

She didn't know what to say.

"We went out for a beer together." She said shyly.

He turned his head away, impatient, hating being the centre of attention, angry that whoever this guy was was touching her as if he had known her for years.

"Aemond, these are my friends from the year, Paul, Mark and Rose." She introduced each of them after a moment.

He looked at them warily and nodded, unsure how to behave, annoyed that they couldn't just have a peace and quiet.

"Would you two sit down with us? We could join tables." Said the other boy, who he had just found out was called Paul − he felt himself starting to boil inside, he had a feeling that frustration was clearly visible on his face.

"No, thanks, we've made an appointment for two." She replied quickly, clearly feeling uncomfortable herself, Paul laughed and raised an eyebrow.

"A date?" He asked amused.

He put down his glass loudly and turned to him standing up from his seat, towering over him, the boy swallowed loudly, looking at him startled.

"Yes, it's a fucking date, do you have any more questions? Anything else you want to know, to describe to you in detail the plan for our evening, or did you get enough information? Hm?" He growled with a hint of menace, stepping towards him, forcing him to step back − he felt the grip of her hand on his arm holding him down.

"Aemond, please, he didn't mean it, it was just a joke." She mumbled pleadingly, clearly terrified, grabbing his hand.

"Sorry, mate, I didn't mean to piss you off. It was stupid, my tongue's too long sometimes. Okay?" He asked embarrassed and frightened by how decisive his response was, reaching out his hand to him.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was looking at him hopefully, with a plea that he behave as he should.

He struggled to swallow his pride and rage and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly and warningly, looking him straight in the eye.

When he let him go the boy swallowed loudly, he and the other two moved towards the empty table wishing them a good evening.

They sat back down at the bar − he glanced at her seeing that she was pale, her hands trembling as she reached for her glass and took a sip of her drink.

"− I-I'm sorry about them − they're very nice, really −" She mumbled, and he swallowed quietly, fiddling with his glass, embarrassed by his sudden outburst, by the fact that he was acting like a jealous, insecure child.

He grunted without looking at her, rubbing the tip of his nose with the top of his hand.

"− I'm sorry too − for my outburst − I didn't mean to be unpleasant, I just − I just haven't seen you in a long time and I want to spend this time with you alone −" He choked out, licking his lower lip, feeling a squeeze in his stomach at the thought that she might think he was being aggressive and insane.

"I know. I want it too." She said softly and only then did he dare to look at her, her eyes expressing understanding and peace − he shuddered when she put her hand on his, leaning in, placing a soft, tender kiss on her soft skin.

As they were about to leave he hesitated and headed towards the table where her friends were sitting. He grunted quietly − Paul paused in mid-word and looked at him with concern.

"Sorry. My reaction was exaggerated. I didn't mean to be unpleasant." He said lowly, swallowing softly, looking away, feeling strangely exposed, his hands clenched into fists.

Paul twisted in his seat, looking at him surprised, and scratched his cheek.

"Come on, I shouldn't have joked like that. I hope you don't cross us off and maybe we can go out in a bigger group for a beer one day." He suggested. He hummed under his breath, nodded and headed for the exit.

As they left the pub he felt immediately as her warm, small hand grasped his and intertwined their fingers − he looked at her surprised, feeling that his cheeks were hot despite the coolness of the evening.

"− do you feel uncomfortable? −" She asked in a trembling voice, wanting to let him go, seeing his reaction − he quickly grabbed her again, entwining their fingers back together, squeezing her even tighter.

"− no − your hands are cold −" He muttered, not looking at her, just walking ahead, thinking only of how hard his heart was pounding.

He thought he felt like a teenager in high school who was holding the hand of a girl he had a crush on for the first time in his life.

Even though they had already slept together for some reason he now felt ashamed − there was something definitive in this gesture, some confirmation of what they both dared not talk about.

By the time they arrived at his flat it was late and they decided to go to bed. Watching her enter his bedroom in only his Tshirt he felt that he was all hard and swallowed with difficulty, looking away.

He wasn't sure he'd be able to bear it, he'd wanted her since she stepped into his doorway.

He put his arms around her as she snuggled into him, kissing the top of her head tenderly, stroking her smooth hair with his hand.

They lay like this in silence, however, he felt them both squirm, his manhood throbbed in his sweatpants and pressed against her body for a moment. He pulled away from her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

"− I − I think I should sleep in the living room tonight −" He choked out with difficulty, feeling that he was hot, a cold sweat on his back − he had the impression that if he didn't leave the room immediately he would just throw himself at her.

She looked at him with furrowed brows, pain and defiance in her gaze.

"− why? − don't go −" She mumbled and he swallowed hard, looking her straight in the eye.

"− you know why −"

They stared at each other in silence for far too long − he felt them both breathing faster and faster, her puffy lips parted as his hands clamped tighter on her body.

He didn't know when her lips were on his, their fingers clenched painfully hard on their shirts − he pulled her to him and she moaned loudly into his throat feeling how hard he was, rocking her hips against him. They both began to pant into each other's mouths and with a quick, impatient movement he forced her to pull his shirt off her body.

"− fuck −" He growled looking at her bare flesh, her girlish curves, her soft breasts.

He didn't stop her when she reached for his T-shirt, looking at him pleadingly − he pulled it quickly over his head, throwing it to the floor, untying his sweatpants, looking at her with his mouth wide open, breathing fast.

"− will you let me ride you? −" She mumbled, trembling all over, her cheeks rosy with emotion.

He swallowed loudly and thought he would agree to anything to feel and cum inside her, desperate with desire, feeling like his cock was about to explode.

"− I − fuck, just come here −" He breathed out, laying on his back, gripping her upper arm and pulling her to himself. They looked at each other dreamily, panting loudly as she sat on top of him.

He tilted his head back and groaned low with pleasure as she guided the fat head of cock to her puffy slit, sliding it into her hot, fleshy core, not waiting a moment, resting her hands on his chest, her tight walls sucking on him greedily.

"− oh God − yes −" She mewled raising and sinking onto him with quick, sure slaps from which he ran out of breath.

He tightened his fingers on her waist, rooting into her with brutal, quick thrusts of his hips from which they both started to moan, her insides wonderfully tight and hot, all wet, allowing him to slide in and out of her with ease, making sure that with each of his thrusts his swollen manhood rubbed her where she needed it.

"− fuck − fuck − don't fucking stop −" He exhaled with difficulty, feeling that he had never wanted to come so badly in any woman before, slamming into her with quiet click of her moisture, his cock all slick from it, opening her wide again and again.

There was something final and raw about it, just pure desire.

"− Aemond − p-please −" She babbled, rubbing her upper wall with it's tip, each time she sank down on him giving his root a wonderful squeeze − his cock twitched and pulsed inside her every time she did this, in no other position had any woman teased him so wonderfully.

"− o-oh fuck − keep going − harder, right here, fuck, yes −" He gasped in pleasure, tilting his head back, feeling her speed up her pace − he clenched his fingers on the soft skin of her plump buttocks, forcing her to let him deep inside her, responding to her every motion with a thrust, panting loudly in desperate need of it.

He looked at her beautiful body glistening with sweat, her breasts bouncing softly with each of his stabs − he felt that he was a few pushes away from orgasm, her walls squeezing him like crazy, wanting to keep him inside her.

"− I-I − I'm gonna cum −" He choked out with difficulty, embarrassmed that his fulfillment was approaching so terrifyingly quickly, his cock twitched and throbbed heavily inside her as he rocked his hips, chasing his peak.

He gasped when her soft hand ran over his hot, sweaty cheek, their bare bodies slapping hard against each other again, again and again.

"− me too − oh God, Aemond, yes −" She mewled, tilting her head back with her eyes closed, moaning sweetly with pleasure, her plushy walls began to squeeze him, greedily sucking him inside.

He shuddered as he felt her insides clench on him in orgasm and just let go, filling her with his semen, clasping his hands tightly on her hips, rooting his seed deep inside her, gasping heavily with pleasure.

"− fuck-fuck-fuckkkk −" He mumbled, rocking his hips for a moment longer, feeling her hot body fall on top of him, her hot breath surrounding his face, her naked breasts pressed against his chest.

He slipped his hand quickly into her hair, the other stroking her back, panting loudly along with her, unsure if he had ever before in his life come as hard as he did now, when he was driven simply by pure, unbounded desire.

"− I'm sorry −" She whispered quietly, and he shook his head, not even having the strength to open his eyes.

"− no, baby − that was amazing −" He muttered, pressing his cheek against her head, focusing on how wonderful it was to be inside her, to feel her warm body with all of him, his half-soft manhood still twitching inside her. He hummed with contentment when he felt her moist lips brush his neck.

"Looks like we didn't last too long with our decision." She whispered with amusement and he snorted involuntarily, trailing his fingers down her bare back.

"Mmm."

They lay in silence, listening to the night sounds of the city outside the window and the quiet ticking of the clock, feeling at last relieved and at peace.

Something between them was different from their first night, the sex was different too, more open, wild, tender.

He realised that for the first time he had let go of control, allowed someone else to take the initiative.

Still, he didn't feel dominated or threatened − what she did was merely a manifestation of her desire, of how much she wanted him, letting him admire her, simply taking pleasure from her body.

He ran his fingers through her soft hair and hummed under his breath.

"We can do it again one day if you want. I enjoyed it." He murmured, placing a lazy, warm kiss on her forehead. She lifted her head and looked up at him, the tips of their noses almost touching.

"If you'd like to repeat what we did back then…you know, when I first came to you…then I think we could try it too. Once in a while." She said embarrassed, and he involuntarily licked his lower lip, unable to hide the dangerous gleam that appeared in his eye.

"− deal −"

______

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

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dramarising-replacement · 1 year ago

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Most of you have no idea how making a living with art actually works Your experience begins and ends with watching a generic popfur smut artists get 10k a month in passive income via patreon subs and cashapp donations and it shows In the professional art world if you take 40 hours a week to produce 1 digital piece you will be replaced laughably fast. Being expected to yield something after a 40 hour work week is not crunch culture, that's an average full time job. People I've worked with who make an income exclusively through art are capable of producing 6 12x12 water color landscapes a week and that's on the slower end. Hobby commissions =/= art as a full time job It's unreasonable to expect fully lined and painted art from a commissioner online to be done quickly. That's a completely different standard for completion time since most people who do commissions are only doing it on the side and aren't looking to enter professional spheres The site credits almost 20 artists. A significant few being "contributors" im not sure if they were hired on a one-off contractual basis to do one or two drawings and no more than that, but nearly all of them address themselves as active members of the art team so Im counting them as well. A lot of the apparel is copypasted, rotated and flipped. There is nothing wrong with this but it's a simple fact and it's efficient. I'm not sure why users get so angry about acknowledging this but I'm not arguing this point because it's obvious with the barest amount of looking. Undel sketched and lined a dragon in 5 hours in a stream where she was heavily distracted by chat and kept forgetting how to use her tablet. They dont' color by hand, they run it through a coloring program. All of this adds up to a system that should be more efficient than it is If this site can't manage to get a modern done more frequently than 1 every 5+ years then it's a sign of either gross mismanagement or they need to hire more productive artists "the artists are already bogged down/there's too much apparel" yet they release a new ancient every couple of months which increases their gene bloat and errors and decided it was a good idea to add 2 genes a month to the festival items. Those are not the choices of a struggling team. Nobody adds a few gallons to the tub when they're already drowning.

It's fine to think that the pace that they produce art is acceptable. If your standards and opinions line up with their output then you're entitled to feel that way. At least try to admit it's based on your personal preferences and opinions rather than a professional standard you clearly don't know anything about

#Flight Rising #Art #Long post

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mrinafria · 1 year ago

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Night on the balcony, OG vs ALT Seon Jae

[tw: death/killing]

It's a given that OG Seon Jae was murdered by the taxi driver but I've always been more curious about the how of it, because it was never shown to us. I really thought they'd shed some light near the end of the series but oh well. I won't complain because I got the epic rom-com ending of all times. But I think we can all agree that they deliberately left so many things out to give us the cutest fluffiest ending known to mankind lol.

A couple things that clicked as I was rewatching the ALT 2023 episodes recently, *coughs* for the 19th or so time *coughs*. There's this scene:

You see Seon Jae struggling with the taxi driver, who is trying to sedate him using that hanky since the moment he barges in. Of course there's something on it, which happens to be:

In the 2009 timeline, Tae Sung's dad and his partner at work talk about how the Taxi Driver's modus operandi is using animal anesthetics on his victims. We'll come back to this shortly.

A couple things to remember:

1. OG Seon Jae was already physically unwell when we see him post-concert. It was most likely a panic attack (was it because he saw the taxi driver? We'll never know why T-T). It's very likely he took medicines to calm his nerves. Some of these anti-anxiety/nerve-calming medicines can have the same ingredients as anti-depressants based on my experience, and one of the things they do is make you slightly drowsy, as a consequence of relaxing your nerves [disclaimer: please remember this is just based on my own experience and opinions I've seen people share. Medically there might be more to it.]

2. OG Seon Jae did not jump off on his own (because he is Seon Jae). However, that doesn't necessarily mean he didn't have depression. Im Sol's incident and him blaming himself ALL through 15 years is enough for anyone to spiral into it. Whatever little we saw, there were telltale signs of it, so it is possible he was under medication in the OG timeline (BUT he didn't jump off the balcony).

3. Basically, he was not in the best frame of mind when we see him in 2023, lost in thoughts of Im Sol and their unexpected meeting on the bridge, and then checking up on her secretly, as she gets back to her apartment. I won't get into details because I promised myself this was not going to be another one of my OG Seon Jae eulogies.

He was basically preoccupied with other thoughts and physically not in a good shape to put up a fight. Heck, he didn't even bother to pick up the call from his agency CEO or react to the doorbell right away.

UNLIKE THE ALT 2023 SEON JAE.

4. ALT 2023 Seon Jae had met Im Sol without any of the guilt and pain of OG Seon Jae.

5. ALT 2023 was already "in a relationship" with Im Sol (*giggles*) when we see him in the hotel room.

6. Unlike his OG self, he never seemed to have any panic attacks/mental health issues. He confirmed it himself when Im Sol kept asking about medicines/depression. He longed for Im Sol, but he wasn't in anguish, torturing himself for 14 years over something that never happened in that timeline. So he is perfectly well and capable of not going down without some struggle or fight when the taxi driver attacks him.

Now, going back to animal anesthetics.

[Disclaimer: I'm no professional and this is just something I learned. If any of you have a professional opinion about it, please let me know!]

I initially wrote off the chloroform trope for OG Seon Jae because it's detectable during autopsy. And according to the news, nothing suspicious showed up in OG Seon Jae's autopsy except for medicines.

Some animal anesthetics, however, are undetectable in human bodies, unless you're conducting specific toxicology tests if you are suspicious of something other than chloroform. I assume nobody did this specifically because no signs of struggle were found, giving no reason to suspect the cause of his death (again, we'll never know the specifics of toxicology tests done for Seon Jae's autopsy -_-)

If this progression of thought is right, something like this might have unfolded in the OG 2023 timeline:

7. Similar to ALT 2023, the taxi driver breaks into Seon Jae's hotel room. Seon Jae probably tries to fight him but he's not able to because of ^^^1-3 reasons. Taxi driver sedates him comparatively easily.

8. Once Seon Jae is unconscious (wow it's difficult to type this because my brain won't stop playing out this scene), taxi driver fixes the room so no signs of struggle can be found later.

9. Once he is done, he takes Seon Jae and throws him off *okay breathe*

10. Seon Jae's eyes are shut when we see him underwater. He is likely unconscious because of the animal anesthetics so obviously he can't swim or save himself.

That's a lot of conjecture going on in here lol but this at least helps me not to overthink this anymore. The only thing that's still bugging me: Everyone is busy checking out what happened with Seon Jae, so it may be possible the Taxi Driver manages to sneak in to delete the cctv footage somehow, but I'm not convinced myself. Why do I have a feeling the script actually had a different plan with the whole OG Seon Jae incident thing, and they just edited ALL of the other stuff out to make it more romcom-y? Again, no complaints, I LOVE they made it more romcomy, but I've already rewatched the series so many times, it's very hard to pass off all these things as nothing when I see they were trying to form a connection underlying the main plot.

Anyway.

#Lovely Runner #Byeon Woo Seok #Kim Hye Yoon #Sun Jae #Im Sol #Seon Jae #선재 업고 튀어 #kdrama #kdrama recommendations #east asian drama #episode reaction

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jimin-bangtan · 6 months ago

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Chameleon Park Jimin 7

My Chameleon Park Jimin (PJM) Series (<link) [Parts 1-6] discusses the emotional, physical, & professional growth, adjustments, and changes Jimin has endured and experienced during his BTS journey, as I see it.

Pausing for military enlistment and preparing material for promotions in absentia (Re: The guys would not be around to physically promote their own work.) was new to BTS members and to the company - SORT OF. I say “sort of” because little did everyone know that while the crazy Covid-19 quarantine was horrific and schedule-destroying, it did give them unexpected practice in how to present material when unable to meet fans in person.

A portion of BTS’s meteoric rise in success and popularity occurred when they continued to put out an extensive collection of work during the global shut down. They streamed concerts, filmed multiple versions of performances, self-produced an album (BE) [~1 minute & playlist], and experimented with all English songs. Many of these skills would become extremely informative for their solo albums and the promotional plans to be used in their absence.

There were other issues, which I described in the previous sections, which carried over from Jimin’s difficult BTS journey, that still needed attention. Fans have learned that Jimin is the type of person who does not back down from a challenge or an obstacle. He learns from situations and figures out a way to tackle the problem with persistence and then move on.

With that said, during Jimin's FACE promotional period, a mishap occurred that must have flashed him all the way back to the early days when the lack of vocal training exposed itself on occasion. Back then the hateful public tore into him and never let him forget it, even to present time.

The problem

All of the stories I mentioned in parts 1-5 had taken their toll on Jimin’s psyche. Even though he persevered diligently, the experiences seemed to make him weary of public opinion and response. The current mishap was not a vocal problem as much as a technical one, but for those wanting any reason to be unkind, it was assessed as the same.

At music shows when someone wins an award, they are expected to do a spontaneous encore performance. BTS has done many hilarious and memorable variations of encore moments throughout the years. That means the crew has to quickly turn on the microphones and the playback and feedback devices of whoever was suddenly announced as the winner.

After winning one of his music show awards for Like Crazy, Jimin’s earpiece didn’t appear to be working or they hadn’t connected it yet, so when Jimin sang - without being able to hear the music well, or at all, over the resulting commotion - he appeared off key.

Now, I am not a conspiracy theory fan, but music shows are a business, and Korea’s movies aren’t labeled K-dramas for nothing. With that said, music shows are also a business that wasn’t always kind to BTS, and high ratings or excitable discussion wouldn’t hurt their bottom line. It’s possible it was an accidental, technical mishap or possibly an intentional one. Either way, the damage was done. The public ripped into JM again, demeaning him again - about his live vocal ability, in spite of the many good performances he did throughout his career and even during the present promotional period.

Didn't they recall that he had never received vocal training even though he debuted as a lead singer? Didn't they recall that Jung Kook (JK) mentioned that Jimin didn’t seem to have time to receive vocal lessons with their continually crowded schedule? Didn't they recall all the many more times that Jimin performed high notes and difficult vocal passages oftentimes while dancing difficult choreography?

Probably many did know about Jimin's circumstances and many more didn't care. I have myself considered why Jimin didn’t get the vocal lessons in the first place and why he did not later get full vocal lessons as Jin appears to have done at some point. Jin used to strain in a way that looked painful but got better after what seemed to be additional vocal training. Jimin would use JK, his younger peer, as a voice coach. JKs voice is vastly different from Jimin’s, and JK is not a vocal expert, although his assistance may have helped to some degree. Important Note: Jimin is also 1 of 3 members of BTS’s dance line (3J), which Jin is not, so Jimin may not have had the extra time to fit in vocal lessons, as he is a main dancer and lead singer in the group.

Anyway, after that event, Jimin stated during a WeLive that he was going to take voice lessons from scratch. Previous lack of time and neglect by the company are 2 reasons I suspect that he likely didn’t get complete lessons before. He has mentioned occasional bouts of lessons every once in a while in more recent times, but never full vocal-building lessons.

Jimin had also gotten a lot better over time from experience. Regardless of the improvement, I could not tell if he was singing in a way that would cause eventual harm to his vocal cords or not. A vocal teacher he finally met with recently did say the way he was singing was not sustainable without eventual vocal harm. This is not surprising since he pretty much taught himself.

Jimin confronts the problem

Since Jimin was running out of time before enlistment, and he was still busy recording and creating content, he was only able to fit in 2.5 months of concentrated voice lessons (set to mark, ~2 minutes), but he was able to use that new instruction with the songs and performances for his 2nd solo album, that fans did not yet know was happening.

As time continued to pass, military enlistment was growing closer by the day. The remaining members were continuing to get things in order for the full absence of all 7 members from civilian life.

By now, Suga’s world tour, which was one of his solo activities, was coming to an end. Jimin had supported the kick off of the tour at the start, and then he and the other maknae (young) line members [V & JK] showed up together at the final concert in Seoul (set to mark, ~8 minutes) in order to support the close of Suga’s tour. Jimin showed up with the same type of loose clothes, hair, hat, and mask that had become his new, off-stage style, and he seemed very relaxed, comfortable, and happy.

Suga’s concert tour was so successful that additional encore concerts were planned in Seoul. Suga invited non-enlisted BTS members to perform on each encore night (for the fans and for promotional opportunities for each member), and in spite of the problematic, live music show performance and backlash, Jimin accepted the invitation.

For Suga’s encore stage, Jimin seemed nervous to perform before the live audience. His nervousness [Set to mark, ~1 minute] when performing live is not unusual for him, regardless of this new situation, but this was his first live performance before an audience since the music show mishap, which I’ve already stated had less to do with his voice and more to do with the in-ear device used for the playback music, BUT either way, we all had hoped those agonizing days were over. The haters had again ratcheted up the volume on the old criticism of Jimin’s live vocals.

Many fans would have understood if Jimin had chosen to bypass another opportunity for the mean-spirited public to comment about his performance, but Jimin is known to persevere regardless of whether the obstacles are public or private. He tends to face his challenges head on.

Suga has often remarked about Jimin's hard work and persistence [set to mark, ~ 2 minutes] . He had a front row seat to Jimin's journey and all that Jimin had worked to overcome and achieve.

Click picture to enlarge in order to read translation.

As someone who never explains (much) or makes excuses, Jimin didn’t blame the music show mishap on the technical issues of the in-ear device or the lack of training by the company. But what he did do was to show up for Suga’s encore stage and slay (set to mark, ~6 minutes), reprising the highly anticipated Tony Montana duet with Suga after 7 long years, as well as singing and dancing his current solo hit, Like Crazy.

As Jimin said in his own self-written song Set Me Free, Part 2 (FACE), ‘even if they mock me, I'll never stop’. Jimin does not back away from challenges. He conquers them.

TO BE CONTINUED in Part 8 (<link): End of 2023 - more conquering, #ThisIsJimin, Are You Sure!?…

#Jimin #Park Jimin #BTS Jimin #Bangtan Jimin #Soloist Jimin #Chameleon Park Jimin 7 #Thank you NikonLadyz4 for feedback!

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victusinveritas · 11 months ago

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Writing advice from a good sci fi author.

Some science fiction/fantasy creative writing students I have encountered, a field guide

1. World-Savers: these are generally older students, have no real interest in SF/F, are writing a book to express political or metaphysical ideas they consider to be radical and necessary for the future of life on Earth. In reality, they're writing long Platonic dialogues about their ideas, and authority from various culture and pop culture tropes (aliens, noble savages, fairies, resurrected presidents)–to the extent that their work has a plot at all, it involves a Christ figure transforming the world via a sacrifice. The ideas aren't very radical either: "pollute less" and "love your neighbor, unless they're a dick" are common. Occasionally the message for the world has to do with something more prosaic: reverse budgeting, the evils of Affirmative Action, the importance of installing solar panels, how dare Eileen divorce me and fuck like three guys in the six months after she moved out, etc. These students are utterly confused by actually existing SF/F stories they read, and often interpret them in bizarrely sexual ways. They don't believe in numbering the pages of their manuscripts, and often attempt to submit work in PDF so it won't be stolen.

2. Children with Money: recent college grads, or drop-outs, these people have read Harry Potter, Twilight, and perhaps three or four other best-selling young adult series and nothing else. They are easily upset, especially when someone suggests reading more. Their main interests are YouTube personalities, video games, and a sort of Puritanical pansexuality that actually makes smut boring. They often "forget" to read the work of other students, and have no idea how to use a printer. They warn the other students that their story might be "too intense" because it contains, for example, a depiction of a car accident. Their stories are routinely awful, and always contain a character named "Aidan." Sometimes their parents come to class to make sure I am "not a serial killer", as though they could possibly tell from looking at me. (Oh, "Mamatas" IS a white person name...I guess?)

3. Anointed Ones: They contact me, or the people running the workshop, beforehand, to make sure that "the class is right" for them. They have file cabinets full of their stuff, and after many decades of toil, they are ready to reveal their work to the world. They just need a mentor, and an ally—could I be the one they've been searching for lo these many years? Prior workshops were full of callow teachers and jealous students. Why they were only allowed to submit ten pages a week! Some of them have actually read fairly widely, but you wouldn't know it from their work: three adjectives per noun, a fetish for speech tags other than the word "said" or no tags at all. Often these stories include as characters philosophical prostitutes with very sensitive nipples. They never miss a class and often show up more than thirty minutes early. One time, I had to hide in a closet to avoid an extensive pre-class conversation with one.

4. Frightened Proles: These have read Stephen King and Dean Koontz and sometimes even horror writers from this century. They generally have working-class jobs and write about working people who encounter the supernatural on the late shift. They really hope they can sell their novel soon, but they know it'll take a lot of work. (Ten more drafts oughta do it!) They wear baseball hats to class and look like enormous eight-year-olds. They get very excited when I mention professional wrestling or do a taiji move in class. Their significant others are often nameless—"my girlfriend" "my wife." They buy my books and bring them to class for autographs. Some of them get published after, especially flash fiction.

5. Repairables: decent writers, often involved in the SFF "scene", who need to be fixed after a bad experience with Clarion or another workshop or an overeager editor at a semipro magazine who told them some idiot nonsense they decided to believe because they were told it was "unprofessional" not to consider editorial feedback. These either get published...or lost to MFA programs, video game jobs, fandom, podcasts, or other writing-shaped pursuits. Most of them are ferocious name-droppers; the ones who heard of me beforehand know to keep quiet though.

#writing advice #sci fi writing #sci fi #fantasy #writing workshop

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accio-victuuri · 1 year ago

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xiao zhan - GQ February issue cover story 1-3

01 Relaxation

The studio is on the Huangpu River in Shanghai. Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on the corner of the sofa, looking very relaxed. The filming came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working continuously for more than 7 hours, there was no trace of fatigue on his face. This is a face that always attracts attention. A few months ago, the studio released a set of Xiao Zhan's birthday photos, and sharp-eyed netizens immediately noticed that his face had become "rounder." In order to play the role of Guo Jing in the movie "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" directed by Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan gained weight before joining the cast. His cheeks were no longer so thin, and his figure was obviously stronger. In the photo, he had Wearing Hu hawthorn children, it shows a bit of vicissitudes of life.

Strictly speaking, "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Man" is Xiao Zhan's second filmmaking. There are many previous versions of the character Guo Jing, and the pressure on him is obvious.

On the day of the cover shoot for "GQ", Xiao Zhan got up very early to go for a run. He couldn't help but think, my god, I'm going to lose muscle again after sweating so much. He debated whether to continue, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time came, he thought that body fat would start to be consumed after 30 minutes, so he ran for another 10 minutes.

It's all about work. "Actually, I don't want to run. running will lose muscles, but I have to run to reduce swelling." After the filming, he planned to do weight training again no matter how late it was. An actor's self-cultivation is to be ready to shape the image for the role at any time, but he must strictly control his diet and manage his body shape. Xiao Zhan regards both as professional standards and requires himself to do so.

Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and even had some humor. Mentioning that actors should observe characters in life, he commented on the sitting postures of several people present. When asked what he had not expected after joining the industry, his answer was that he could not eat whatever he wanted like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted nearly two hours. I was curious. In the past few years, Xiao Zhan has been under huge attention. What kind of experience has it been for him?

Xiao Zhan said that many times, he has forgotten this matter. It didn't cause him a lot of trouble in life. The most "cruel" thing may be, "You can't eat as much as you want." "

I still sneak out to ride a bicycle, take a walk, and do a CityWalk. Only once, just now in after walking in the alley for 5 minutes, I was recognized. I also sneaked into the cinema to watch a movie. No one will care about you, really. after leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes the world is right in front of us.

He has a lot of things he wants to do, such as taking the subway and going to the mall. "I will really take the subway, maybe tomorrow. It's so normal. I used to do it every day. Take the subway." For Xiao Zhan, this is his real life. The voices on social media no longer bother him. "After all these years, I'm still bothered. Am I still alive? (Laughs) It's really okay."

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his living situation, " I have a job, a life of my own, and an audience that likes me, so I have nothing to be dissatisfied with."

02 Becoming an actor

To some extent, Xiao Zhan’s sense of relaxation stems from his increasingly clear goals. The voices from the outside world no longer bothered him. He knew what he wanted and what he didn't want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he has rarely appeared in variety shows, taking the career of actor as his most important goal at the moment.

In 2023, three film and television dramas starring Xiao Zhan will be broadcast, and each role will be a challenge for Xiao Zhan. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said many times that he was "under a lot of pressure", and he said this almost when reviewing every stage. But his tone is light, without the heaviness of complaints, more like an analysis and summary afterwards. The reasons are often specific and objective: the first time he comes into contact with a performance without physical objects, the first time he takes the leading role alone, the first time he plays a modern drama...

"Where Dreams Begin" is a script that Xiao Zhan particularly likes. He likes stories about that generation very much. When he was a child, he watched some movies and TV series, such as "Days Related to Youth" and "Happiness Like Flowers". When he mentioned the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that the sun was bright and colorful. Many people say that Xiao Chunsheng is a perfect character, but in Xiao Zhan's opinion, this is his biggest flaw. He thinks this character is very interesting and wants to give it a try. Xiao Chunsheng is a young man from Beijing. How to express the character's momentum and speak authentic Beijing dialect is a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who has lived in Chongqing since childhood.

Shiying's character in "Yuguyao" is aloof. Because he didn't want to live up to everyone's expectations for his costume look, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight before joining the cast. ""Yuguyao" is a script I got in 2020. Among the things I can choose, this is the script with the most complete characters and the most delicate emotions. It is also very logical and self-consistent. It is my The best choice."

"Sunshine By My Side" is the script that Xiao Zhan has been exposed to for the longest time, starting at the end of 2019. Although Sheng Yang in "Sunshine By My Side" closely overlapped with Xiao Zhan's career before his debut, he had to move his life as a designer to the screen and act in a natural and convincing manner. "Modern dramas and life dramas are really an unfamiliar field." At first, he was too eager to finish his lines and memorized them so well that when he said them, it made people think that no one in life would speak like this. Later, he discovered that in modern dramas, The logic of where to break the lines and where to put the emphasis is actually very strong.

In the past few years, he has played soldiers, doctors, designers, and Beijing youths. "There are no special considerations, it all happens naturally." He rarely plays repeated roles. But when choosing a script, Xiao Zhan will not deliberately avoid themes that he has acted in before. He will just put himself in the audience's perspective to feel whether he can be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the drama "A Dream Like a Dream", playing the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to the drama appeared on Weibo hot searches, becoming a phenomenon-level event in the drama circle.

Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time about starring in "A Dream Like a Dream". There are many reasons for hesitation: he is from Chongqing, not from a professional background, the play cannot be negative, it lasts for 8 hours, "A Dream Like a Dream" is very famous, and there have been many classic versions of the role of Patient No. 5 before. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must act.

Drama is a very pure thing. Dozens or even hundreds of people gather in a space to tell a story. This is an experience that is impossible to bring about in film and television dramas. Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to recite his lines crazily, and moved himself to Tangshan to rehearse intensively with the entire crew for more than a month, grinding out one scene after another.

"I was very nervous for the first performance. I am still nervous now when I think about it. When Gu Xianglan rang the bell, I became excited." The moment the light hit him, Xiao Zhan felt that everything had stopped. He could not see the expressions of the audience under the stage. There was only white left in front of me.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breathing and began to speak his lines. The director said that the actors in the opening scene controlled the rhythm of the entire story, so every time Xiao Zhan said that line, it was when Xiao Zhan was most nervous. As he spoke, he would gradually forget about his nervousness and let out a long sigh of relief after speaking. I thought, ah, it’s finally over.

Once, at the end of the first half of the performance, Patient No. 5 went on stage to find Gu Xianglan with a painting and an address, and had a long monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan suddenly lost his voice. He couldn't remember the beginning of the next word. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip that word and continued. The audience shouldn't be able to tell, he thought. He didn't think of that word until the end of the show.

"I couldn't remember it when I got to the break room, so I turned over the script and saw that it was this word."

"Which word?"

"A very common word, for example, drinking pure water. What kind of water was I thinking about? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water ? I just can’t remember." Xiao Zhan replied.

Acting is a very profound knowledge. Xiao Zhan said: "We have only scratched the surface so far." When filming "Sunshine By My Side", the opposing actors were all experienced actors. In terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan is still very immature and exerts all his strength. Too much force will easily leave performance marks. He told himself to "be less pretentious", feel everything the other party throws at him with his heart, and respond honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that due to life experiences, it is difficult to understand many characters. He discussed this issue with his seniors, "Everyone has two opinions. Some people say that of course you have to go through it. Without experience, you don't have a picture. How can you act? What you act is all fake. Also there is a voice saying that everything can be solved by technology."

Xiao Zhan's own answer is, "act more and be exposed to all types of genres" and "cooperate with more good teams, actors, and directors."

"To be honest, what I can do now is to act what my mind can touch. It's really difficult for me to act something that I have no concept of at all. Maybe in the future, through a work or with more good directors, Working with actors can solve my confusion. I look forward to this day coming soon."

03 Breaking away

Relaxation is the side of Xiao Zhan. He can balance part of the pressure, but there is part of it that is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan doesn't sleep well. "It's very difficult for me to fall asleep, and I sleep very lightly. It's like sleeping and not sleeping, which affects my state the next day." Especially when he just joined the team and is in a state of high nervousness. In this state, he often dreams about filming on location and not being able to do it well.

When he goes to different cities, Xiao Zhan will bring the same type of pillows and quilts. "I will bring everything that can help me sleep well." He has also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, and various other products that make him fall asleep when applied on his body. Medicines, sprays that can be sprayed on the pillow to make him fall asleep, melatonin, and meditation music. Finally, he found that the best things that made him sleep well were eye masks, earplugs, and not looking at the phone, "because I know that if I look at it, then I will Don't sleep, just get up."

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book "Departure" at home. That was recommended to him by his company boss when he was working as a designer. The concept of organizing life described in the book made Xiao Zhan start to rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

Xiao Zhan has a particularly axial side to his character, "If I insist on something that I think is right, it will be difficult to be convinced." For example, if he decides to be an actor, he doesn't want to do anything other than an actor, " Come on, let's debate. No one is right or wrong. The team is also for your own good. Isn't it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want. "

Xiao Zhan's acting experience began with a story about "an older amateur chasing dreams in the entertainment industry." He participated in the talent show at the age of 24, learned dance from scratch, debuted as a boy band, acted in online dramas, and played supporting roles in theater movies. Until he became popular in 2019, Xiao Zhan also became a star that attracted attention.

When you decide to do something, you must try your best to do it well. This is what Xiao Zhan has been taught since childhood. When he was in junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. When he first started sending text messages, he often used spaces to replace punctuation marks. His father said to him sternly, "What about the punctuation marks? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?" From that time on, Xiao Zhan paid great attention to punctuation marks.

Xiao Zhan has been competitive since he was a child, and he doesn't want to miss any opportunity when it comes to things he can control. When he was taking the bus to school, he would worry about the person on the bus who missed the stop because he fell asleep.

For things that he cannot control, he will remind himself not to argue and learn to accept them. Until then, do what you can.

When asked which drama Xiao Zhan worked hard for, Xiao Zhan's answer was surprising. He said: "Every one." Before becoming famous, he auditioned for many dramas and went through interviews to enter the final round. , I had already put on makeup to try out the scene, but was replaced. Of course, scripts will be handed over now, but Xiao Zhan always tells himself that people only have intentions and can hand them over to many people at the same time. When he encounters something he really likes, he will take the initiative to meet with the director and explain his understanding of the character.

#xiao zhan #this is already late cause i wanted the q&a translated asap hahahahahahaha #accio victuuri translation #and i went out to have fun lol #happy weekend everyone! i’m doing weekend earlier ☺️☺️☺️

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