#5 days in and im finally drawing fun new outfits? i might be getting the hang of this

[puppygirlpencil]

And it's Day 4 for Sonic Fashion Week!

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[descendantofthesparrow]

Daughter of the Honorable Thief – Harry Hook x reader – part 4 – pranks and daggers

Harry Hook x Daughter of Robin Hood!Reader

 key

 h/c- hair color

 e/c- eye color

 h/l- hair length

 s/c- skin color

 y/n- your name

 clothing reference:

 ---(y/n) POV---

Later that night, you snuck around the dorm building, searching for mals room, with Elizabeth (erza for short), daughter of Will Scarlet, at your heels.

“are ya sure about this hood? I mean, this is mal! What if she?!”

You turned to Erza, a grin on your face, “why are you doubting me~ she’ll never even know it was me!”

erza pouted, “im not doubting ya! im just saying that she might put the blame on Uma! And you don’t want that do ya?” she whisper-shouted at you.

You snickered and pinched her cheeks, she scowled and smacked your hand away, rubbing her cheek

“she's not gonna put the blame on Uma because Uma wouldn’t have thought of this~”

Erza raised her brow, confused “what exactly are ya plannen?”

You grinned like a shark, flipping open your messenger bag, and revealing the prank.

…

“holy shit hood yer evil!”

You cackled silently, as you arrived at mals dorm, and easily snuck in.

Soon finishing your work, you quickly exited the room and made your way to Mals locker, and hurriedly placed your prank in place, before relocking her locker and sneaking back to your room.

“you’re an evil genius Hood”

“why thank you Erza, I try~”

----

Mal woke the next morning, expecting it to be like any other day.

She was about to be sorely mistaken.

As she stepped out of her bed, she didn’t notice the colorful plastic balls surrounding her bed, she squealed as she stumbled back onto her bed.

“what the fuck?!”

Evie sprung up from her bed, blinking away the sleep from her eyes, “Mal? Is everything alright?”

Mal snarled, chucking a blue plastic ball across the room.

“someone decided it would be fun to surround my bed with those balls that go in ball pits and shit.”

Evie rubbed her eyes and glanced down, there was a cardboard barrier surrounding Mals bed, containing the plastic balls. She raised her brow, ‘well at least im not involved in the mess’ she thought as she glanced around her bed, seeing no border or plastic balls.

“well, at least they put a border around it so its easy clean up”

Mal sighed, still pissed but Evie had a point.

Lifting herself up off the bed once more, she stepped over the border and made her way into the bathroom.

As she brushed her teeth, she heard evie call her name

“Mal? You might wanna look at this”

“wha?” Mal leaned out of the bathroom, seeing Evie pointing at a picture of her and Ben, and….their faces were taped over with…. Nicolas Cages face.

“what. The. Fuck.”

Glancing over her other pictures, everybody's faces were taped over with Nicolas Cage's face.

“seriously what the fuck!!!”

Mal screeched as she gripped the frame and ripped off the faces.

Evie snickered silently in the background, walking into the bathroom to brush her own teeth.

“Uma is going to fucking pay.” Evie stopped, Uma? When did she come into the conversation?

“are you sure Uma did this?” Evie spoke through her toothpaste, leaning out the bathroom door

Mal whipped around, her eyes glowing green, “who else would do this!!??”

Evie shrugged “I don’t know but Uma doesn’t seem like she has the patience to do this, ya know, taping down Nicolas Cage's face on all your photos, and carefully placing a ball pit around your bed? I don’t know but that doesn’t seem like Uma, shed more go for ruining your hair or one of your outfits, not do something that can be easily reversed.”

Mals eyes softened, yeah, yeah okay, this isn’t something Uma would do, but if she didn’t do it…who did?

Evie sighed, knowing Mal was going through a mental list of cuprites, so she quickly intervened and gathered her clothes, tossing one of the plastic balls at Mals butt.

“come on M! its breakfast time and I don’t want to miss my French toast!”

Mal rolled her eyes and nodded, digging through her closet and quickly grabbing an outfit.

“Alright, im going to take a quick shower tho”

Evie nodded, already halfway done with her makeup, she had taken a shower the night before.

“Alright, see you in the café”

----

Mal sighed as she walked to her locker, leaning into Carlos's side with their arms locked, she had been strangely clingy to Carlos today, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Separating from him, she made her way to her locker, entering her combination, she opened it….only for her jaw to drop and a horse scream rip from her throat.

“what the fuck?!”

Her ENTIRE locker was COVERED in Nicolas Cage's face, mal just stood in furious silence as she stared at the hundreds of faces.

“holy shit mal” Carlos voice came from behind her, laughter behind his tone “someone is  committed to a prank”

Mal huffed and grabbed her books, slamming her locker closed, placing her books in her bag, locking her arms with Carlos and Evie, and storming off to their first class.

---

Uma jumped in surprise when she heard mals scream. She whirled around and had to stop herself from bursting out laughing.

(y/n) had plastered Nicolas Cage’s face all over mals locker, holy shit!

“holy shit (y/n) went hard” she mumbled, not wanting Mal to hear her.

Harry and Gil turned at that when they saw it Gil just blinked in surprise, and Harry had to stuff his face in his bag to stifle his laughter.

“wow,” gil whistled, watching mal slam her locker closed and storm away.

“holy shite!! Lassie went ham!!” Harry finally let out his laughter leaning against his locker trying to catch his breath.

“Ya know mate if ya keep laughing like tha people are gonna think ya did the prank”

Uma turned to the new voice, and there was (y/n) and a girl with brown hair styled in an undercut, freckles dusting her face. Her amber eyes, sparkling with mischief.

“who are you?” Uma grumbled, smacking Harry's shoulder as he composed himself, taking (y/n)s hand and kissing it, she snorted and tugged her hand away, flicking his nose.

The girl smiled and bowed, smirking up at Uma, “Erza Scarlet, at yer service”

(y/n) patted Ezra's shoulder grinning at the three pirate teens, “yeah this is one of my childhood best friends, she's the daughter of Will Scarlet.”

Erza smiled, “Scarlet’s me and my dad's middle name, my full name is Elizabeth Scarlet O'Hara”

Uma, Harry, and Gil glanced at each other, odd name.

Erza winked “we’re from Georgia”

(y/n) nodded, gesturing to Erza with her hands, “shes deadly with her daggers, just like her dad”

“oh really~” Uma sang, raising her brow “how about you show us something?”

Erzas face brightened “gladly, Hood? can you?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes and turned to her locker, unlocking it and retrieving one of her compact bows, and an aluminum arrow. (yea I know, weird stuff to keep in your locker)

“whoa whoa whoa, wha is this?” Harry hurriedly asked, stepping forward slightly.

(y/n) sighed and flicked her arm, releasing the mechanisms keeping the bow folded, “don’t worry, she knows what she's doing, those daggers of hers are made of a Vibranium/steel alloy, ya know, the same stuff that captain Americas shield is made of? They can cut through anything, including my aluminum arrows.”

Harry nodded unsurely but backed up.

Erza grinned and stood several feet away from (y/n), “alright Hood ya know the drill, now fire an ‘arrow, straight at my ‘eart”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, loading her arrow. “are you sure about this?” Uma interrupted, now regretting asking for a demonstration.

Erza winked at Uma, “absolutely.” A flash of metal and her daggers spun around her palms, before stopping in her grip.

(y/n) sighed, drawing back the string, “ya know one day your gonna be too slow and im gonna get your heart”

(y/n) released her arrow, and in a flash of steel/Vibranium, the arrow was now in ribbons at Erzas feet.

Umas jaw dropped, along with Harry and Gils.

“holy fuck what part of Georgia are you from? Southcentral!?”

Erza smirked and sheathed her daggers, wiping her hands clean from the metal shavings.

“well,” (y/n) mumbled, collapsing her bow once more, storing it in her locker “that was fun, now I think its time for class.”

The sea three glanced at the clock on the wall and paled, only one minute to get to class.

“shit!!”

--- end of part 4 ---

Comment or message me for part 5

   a/n: as I was writing this, I got the news that Cameron Boyce died, he was and is a loved actor and human being, and he will be missed, we loved the way he brought Carlos to life, and he will never be the same again.

Love you Cameron, and may your memory be a blessing.

--Audrey. R. P

[just-mango]

(For the writer ask thingy) 2, 5, 12, 22, 26 👀👀

Oh hello! These were fun and I accidentally wrote a few mini-essays. Hopefully, they are adequate answers 😅.

     2. Where is your favorite place to write?

I do about 90% of all writing on my phone since it means I can write anywhere. Catch me starfished on the floor while drafting out a super emotional scene. Or even throwing down a few lines while waiting for an Apex match to start. Even with that mobility I usually just hang out on my bed. (I often write before going to “Sleep.” You know, like a liar.)

     5. Top five formative books?

I feel kinda bad that I haven't really read much since Highschool since I would tear through books as a kid. I'm trying to get back into it but I struggle to find new ones. But my top ones have to be,

  1. The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick. 

My friends and I were blown away by how the book was A) MASSIVE 600 PAGE BEAST, and B) Mostly pictures. We would bring magnifying glasses to look for hidden messages in all the drawings. It was probably one of the first books I owned and it's also great for flattening out bills. (Very handy during my restaurant years.)

  2. Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

Not technically a book but my dad had a handful of compilations. Something about reading those with a stuffed animal was extra fun. 

  3. Percy Jackson and the Olympians/ Heros of Olympus by Rick Riordan

I mean.... What's not to like? Swords. Annabeth. More magic swords and knives.

  4. Leven Thumps and the Guardians of Foo by Obert Skye

This is probably one of the series I've re-read the most. Everything about it is just so visual. The world structure from the creatures to magic systems is just  

  5. Wool by Hugh Howey

This is a fairly recent addition. I haven't finished the series yet but the first book was fantastic. The way you can tell things aren't quite right but the mystery of how the world ended up that way just anchors you down. I really need the library to open back up since I get so distracted trying to read digital copies. I read the whole book in about two days. It would have been one if I wasn't supposed to “hang out with the family” Or something like that.

Honorable mention: The Eragon series by Christopher Paolini.

It gets a lot of flak for being too wordy but I always loved them. Nothing like slapping those books down on my desk and the 5th grade teacher would be like “???? That book is bigger then your head. Are you sure you know how to read it?” Yes bish. I’m re-reading it before the next one comes out.

12. Which story of yours do you like best? why?

Ohhhh man, asking me to pick favorites??? The answer to that is usually just whatever is the most recent since that's what I consider my best work. So right now I think Misty trees and dusty air is still the best story. There was a lot of stuff I was trying for the first time and really pushing to have longer more complex story arcs. It still has its flaws and things I wished I had explored more, but Im proud of my baby.  There are a few oneshots I love just because their kinda random/ Full goblin mode.

22. Tell us about the books on your “to write” list

I have a list of random ideas but most of them probably won't see the light of day. One example of my high tier story ideas is:  “Blackout. They are in a cellar when lights go out and blind. Smoochin time.” Yes, that is the exact wording and entirety of the draft for that story.

Some faves from my list are one that's completely satire and borderline 4th wall breaking in which Dina becomes self-aware and is really concerned with how weird Ellie is acting. (You know, cause she’s being driven by an idiot like me.) She eventually gives up after Ellie dies for the 50th time and respawns a few seconds later. I'm kinda waiting for the game just to see how many stupid things I can do.

There's an AU I've been drafting out that's going to be massive. It will be a couple of weeks before I seriously start writing it but uhhhh, Swords, Knights, Complex mail system, Castles, Fancy outfits. Somewhere along those lines (¬‿¬) It's an idea that's been in my head for over a year and I've just about figured out the main storyline. It's going to take forever to write tho. I might make a legitimate master draft just so I can start posting chapters before writing everything.

The one I’m almost done with (And will start posting in the next week or so..) It's mostly just domestic fluffy. I wanted one final bookend for the mega Mango series that happened. I'm thinking it will end up a little over 30K? But yee she’s coming soon,,,,, I just need a title.

26. What’s the most research you’ve ever put into a book?

They've all had plenty of scattered research about everything from basic medicine to horse stats to what food grows where. Misty trees I had to do a lot of research for mental health and long term effects. In all honesty, the most research I've done is for the thing I'm posting next. Lots of uhhhhhhhh tiny human development.... Making sure the age and skills match. eheh babies for, reasons.

[waitinginthedarke]

Existing

A BTS/ Kim Seokjin Fanfiction

Summary: He looked like an angel, and spoke like a singer. Next to you, a university student surviving on 5 hours sleep a night, and holes in your shoes, he seemed to have it all. But at the end of the day, you were both just Existing. You just cant help but think, it might be more fun to Exist together…

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

Chapter 15

24 hours later and you’re stood out the front of your dorm waiting for Jin to pick you up for the concert, feeling a slight breeze brush against your legs as you wrap your arms around yourself and regretting your outfit the tiniest bit. Although when you proceed to look down at the pale pink dress, fitted with a sateen skirt, that you’d paired with cute kitten heels, you instantly know it was the (cutest) right choice.

You look up when you hear the sound of a car approaching, grinning excitedly with the sight of the sleek black vehicle, but getting distracted from it as your phone begins to ring, pulling the device from your bag and frowning in confusion when you see Jin’s name lighting up the screen as his car appears to pull up in front of you.

‘Hello?’

‘Y/N? There’s been a slight change of plans. I tried to ring you a little while ago to tell you but something came up…- I’ve sent Hyungdon-hyung to pick you up and bring you to the concert instead of me. You don’t have to worry though, cause I’ll be waiting for you as soon as you get here-‘

‘Okay.’ You murmur in confusion, seeing a man climb out from the car in front of you, bowing to you in greeting, before opening the rear door and gesturing for you to get in.

‘How do I know its him?’ you ask Jin quietly, not wanting to offend the man, but pausing in your wariness of getting into a car with a random guy, and listening to Jin’s description that matched the person stood in front of you, before smiling nervously at Hyungdon, nodding your head in greeting, and climbing into the car.

‘I’m really sorry I couldn’t pick you up myself, Jagi.’ Jin murmurs down the phone as you get comfortable and the car sets into motion, and the regret in his voice has you smiling sadly as though he was in front of you.

‘Its okay. I don’t mind. The way you were talking in your texts last night you seemed kind of stressed …and tired.’ You say quietly, biting on your nails as you look out the window and absent-mindedly watch the car weave through traffic.

‘I-uh…I guess.’ He admits timidly, the exhaustion clear in his voice making you frown.

‘I’ll feel a lot better when you get here though.’

His confession instantly has your heart skipping a beat and your face lighting up in a shy smile as you cover your mouth with your hand, smothering the giggle that wants to escape you at his cheesiness.

‘I’ve missed you.’ He goes on, the sincerity in his voice making you want to wriggle in your seat with how sweet he sounded, and you struggle to find the words to say back to him that would convey that you felt the same, before simply settling on, ‘Me too.’

‘Aish, I need to go and run over the dances once more with the others, but I’ll see you in about 20 minutes, okay, Beautiful?’ he asks, his voice becoming lighter at the end, and you smile happily to yourself as you nod, murmuring a quiet ‘okay’ before hanging up and leaning back in your seat, a content expression still on your face as you stare out the window and count down the minutes till you got to see your prince.

You knew how crazy kpop concerts got; you’d seen the fans stood outside venues as you’d gone by on the street in the past, and you’d watched the news of crazy incidents that happened, but getting driven through the middle of it, seeing the reaction of the fans to an anonymous black car making its way to the venue holding any host of possibilities inside, the reaction was unlike any other.

As said car pulls up in a loading bay at the back of the building, cornered off from the fans view, you’re all too thankful to escape the heated anticipation that had been tangible in the crowds leading up to the venue, nodding thankfully to Hyungdon after he’d ran around the car to open your door for you, before following him nervously toward what appeared to be the entrance to the building, heart thundering in your chest from adrenaline.

He’s kind enough to explain to you as he leads you through numerous corridors, that the company had instructed the boys to remain close to the green room at all times unless told otherwise with the scale that the concert was on, having received notice that a few fans had already tried to sneak in the back entrance, which had caused tensions to run high.

However, as soon as he turns into a room boasting the sound of a few familiar voices that seemed to be engaged in a discussion surrounding food choices, you feel yourself relaxing, and the moment you walk through the door and catch sight of Jin sat on the arm of a sofa holding a few of the other guys, all traces of fear in you become replaced by calm. Upon you walking into the room he glances up, his expression appearing impatient, but as soon as he realizes it was you, he’s instantly standing, his face momentarily showing thankful relief, before he breaks into a smile, seconds before drawing you into a bear hug and crushing you against him.

‘You look so beautiful.’ You hear him murmur into your hair, the greeting making your face heat up as you hold him tightly, the two of you enjoying feeling one another again for a few moments, before you pull your face from his shoulder and look up at him with a grin.

‘Hi.’

‘Hey.’

The giggle that slips from you as he continues to hold you close causes a grin to stretch his face, before the sound is cut off by the look he gives you; his eyes lingering on your lips telling you he wants to kiss you, but the people filling the room around you making the act awkward, and stopping him from doing so.

‘How have you been holding up?’ you ask to try and distract him, looking past his shoulder to the others and smiling in greeting when you see a few of them looking back, Jimin’s cheeks deepening to a rouge when you catch him watching you both. The sigh Jin lets out as he loosens his hold on you causes a discontent feeling to rise within you, and so you seek out his hand with your own so that you could entwine your fingers, wanting him to not feel as stressed, before looking up to see him staring down at your joined hands, and after a moment he excuses you both from the room and pulls you into a vacated room nearby, shutting the door behind you both.

Before even saying anything, he pulls you into him and crashes his lips to yours, cradling your jaw desperately as his mouth works with yours, lips as soft as they always were despite being firm in their movements, and tasting of melon. You end up bunching your hands into his shirt at his hips, grip becoming tighter and tighter the more intense the kiss becomes, the need in his movements making you realize just how much he’d missed you, and you cant help but smile against his lips because of it.

‘Is that your way of saying you’ve been stressed?’ you ask quietly as you pull away, biting your lip and giggling when he continues to drop small kisses to your mouth, not seeming to get enough.

‘A little.’ He murmurs, smiling shyly and softly as he sets one last kiss on your lips, before finally opening his eyes to look at you, his shoulders appearing a lot less tense than before and his grip not being quite as harsh.

‘But im feeling much better now that you’re here.’

You grin up at him with that comment, giggling again as he snatches another kiss from you, before seeing the way his eyes rake over you and suddenly feeling quite self-conscious.

‘You really do look beautiful.’ He states again, his mouth raising in a side smile as he slips his hands down to your waist, his touch making your body tingle, and you’re just about to pull him in for another kiss, when a knock at the door interrupts you, and you grimacing sorrowfully up at him as you take a step away just as the door opens.

‘Sorry, hyung…We need to do sound check.’ Taehyung explains as he pops his head around the door, smiling at you both as he does so and the expression is tinted with a suggestive smirk. A long pause stretches between you all as he stands in the doorway waiting, until Jin looks up at him when he doesn’t leave.

‘I’ll be there in a minute, Taehyung.’

‘Okay.’ The younger man says, nodding like that was obvious, but still not leaving, instead smacking his lips boredly as he looks around the room, continuing to glance at the two of you every now and again, until you both stare pointedly at him, and he sighs heavily.

‘Fine.’

The second the door shuts, you chuckle quietly, looking up at Jin as he pulls you back to him, grinning at his cuddliness and wrapping your arms warmly around him as you lay your head on his chest, closing your eyes happily as you become consumed by his presence.

‘You’ll have to stay in the green room until we get back. But after sound check we can get food and then I’ll show you where you’re sitting for the show…okay?’ he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair before you feel him lean his cheek on the top of your head, and you reply with a quiet ‘mhmm’.

After showing you back to the green room, and dropping one more kiss to your head, he disappears in a crowd of excited idols.

(T.B.C)

[tri-to-be]

What they don’t tell you when deciding on doing your first Ironman.

Once you have been bitten by the endurance bug, some of us decide to go for the holy grail in Triathlons; the Full Ironman distance of 3,8km swim, the 180km on a bike followed by the full marathon.  Most people will never experience anything like this and many of us are attracted by the dream that is presented by the marketing guru’s of IronMan and Challenge alike.  After realizing it will take a good 6 months of training - and clearing that with those around you such as your family that won’t see you anymore on most weekends as you will be out training somewhere - you decide to go for it.

The average Full Ironman distance registration fee is just under US$ 1,000.  This gives your between 8 to 17 hours of suffering on race day and about 400  lonely training hours which will cost you another US$ 1,000 or more in coaching fees. Throw in your travel at US$ 500 - 2,000 (domestic or international travel) and your physio due to some injuries, bike maintenance, outfits, wetsuits, new shoes and you are on a roll financially. And since we are already digging deep lets make sure we have top bike gear for at least another US$ 5,000 to get us over the finish line. Yes, triathlons can be one of the most expensive sports i know that does not involve engines or live animals (although sometime the athletes are difficult to distinguish)  For this  investment,  you get the satisfaction knowing that you have an “Iron Will” (TM) according to IronMan promo video’s, are a focussed achiever in life, get a trinket medal and bragging rights for life.  In other words, you can set your mind to ZERO and just keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny only to prove that you can be part of the “elite” finishers. The entire dream has been pre-created and is echoed by many triathletes, especially those who have never done an Ironman.

Ironman is indeed all in the mind. and the less you use your mind the easier it becomes because the more your grey cells start wondering if that strange feeling in your calf could become the end of your race, the more likely it will happen.  Unlike in the game of golf where your mind is like a roller coaster because you earn instant satisfaction of a great shot and depression after a flunked one, Ironman has not much to offer along the way.  Somehow it is boring as you are not really racing but controlling mind and body to keep the pace at max.  Its easy to slack off as your mind wonders off and lowers the pace. A simple pass of a biker or runner  might bring you back to your senses, but you know that at some point that person is likely to do the same to you as we all vary in pace at different times. Ironman is the ultimate race not against yourself, but against your mind and of course your training.

What is interesting is how the mind works on long distances.  I am sure the body fuels some of the thought but in the end, I noticed that the things around me, or rather distracting me, are the ones that keep me going.  I find myself riding and worrying about my knee when it started feeling tight and since my muscles are getting sore, the next thought is about how to even start the run and complete that full marathon. Suddenly my attention is grabbed by a pothole I need to avoid, then I notice the scenery which I vividly enjoy and promptly I am back in good shape.  This - in various forms - happens numerous times.   Aside from that, we are being bombarded with quotes like “this too, will pass”, “just get this over with” and “just take it as another training day”  But we know that once we are in those final kilometers everything will be forgotten and emotion with “I did this” will draw us past the finish line for a few seconds of fame as they call our name as we approach the famous red carpet.  Yes, me too i have dreamed many times of hearing the words, “Marcel; you are an Ironman”. Or so I thought.

But let’s backtrack a little to discuss the months before the race, and start with the training plan.  First, the excitement fuels the first phase your training, where you have to relearn the way you run and bike.  This is where you start to go long and easy, doing things differently and of course enjoy waking up at 6am every day to get that part out of the way. It was fun seeking my hotels during my many business trips and qualify them as “training Hotels”  Who has the right pool size, or a park where we can run.  I even blogged about it in Trip Advisor and rated some hotels purely on Triathlon training capabilities.    The next stage that follows about 3 months inwards was that of fatigue.  The training gets boring, your body is getting tired and your mind is looking for excuses. It was getting harder  to wake up and getting sleep was deemed a higher priority leaving the trainings to the evening with work distractions on your mind and finding every shortcut along the way.  It was getting truly tough.  This is also the period where suddenly minor injuries creeped up such as rotor cuff pains making swimming a real struggle for me.  What followed was logical; depression.  the “I am not ready” phase slowly overtakes and you wonder why no progress what made for weeks  until something makes you realize you are really full of shit and gets you out of that cycle.  My great friend and triathlete Daniel Schwalb, who actually got me on a bicycle 8 years ago that started this madness, and dragged me to my first sprint, reminded me during my whining and ranting about the famous Rule#5 of the Velominati ; “Harden the F@&* up!”.

From there on you are just 6-8 weeks out and you are getting excited again.  This is where you do you long (and super boring) bricks, runs and rides and realize that after each training you have plenty of energy left.  Recovery feels like a breeze and the 70.3 distance feels like a run in the park.  Its an amazing feeling of fitness strength.  At this point you are cautious to avoid any kind of injury as you have come this far already, then in the Taper weeks you wonder if this is the right  thing to do and why you should’t push for that last bit… but I believed in my Coach Tabitha Bond and she was just spot on on what would work for me.

On race day i had no clue if I was going the complete this and the only thing I had going for me was to believed Tabitha that I was ready.  My conservative estimates came out to 16 hours so i would have an hour to spare before cut off.  I had never ran a marathon before the IM, not even during the training where it stopped at 35km.  I had no clue what to expect next.  The horn sounded, and the familiar swim battle, took place.  It would be a 1,9km swim around the 1,8 km long Jetty and back.  I took an easy pace with long strokes, focussed on my rotations and lightly added my legs to pivot.  I made sure I stayed the course (straight) which did not always work as planned, but it was good enough, and the “with sighting” drills paid off.  after the u-turn around the jetty the adrenaline kicked in again that made me care less about the chafing caused by the wetsuit.  I got close, hit the beach and started making my way to transition… A guy next to me asked for the time (I had decided beforehand not to care as it is what it is) and saw 1:15. I was amazed and happy and dashed to T1… I was on a roll and felt great!.  Once on the bike I knew I had decided on a conservative safe pace (28kmph) and just kept it for 6:30 hours making sure I focused on my nutrition above all.  I ate, I drank, stopped to pee and I peddled. There is really little excitement in this part of the race at all (and I love cycling!). Arrived in T2, I seriously start worrying about the bike-to-run which has caused me and others great trouble in the past for many kilometers. Again a glimpse on the watch and it showed a flat 8:00 total time whilst dashing out of the transition. That would leave me a whopping 9 hours to finish the run.  OMG!  The smile continued and the run was smooth from the beginning short of some minor pains in the lower abdomen, nothing i couldn’t manage. After 10k of mainly conservative running with some short brisk walks I checked for the first time my Heart Rate which to my amazement was 112!  I cursed myself for being conservative and had limitations in my mind and picked up the pace from there.  I stopped for a Red Bull after 20km and kept increasing the pace.  I was going to be early!  It was getting dark and cold now. At 40km a pain hit my knee and despite all efforts, running was over.  but who cared! Yes this added 20-30 minutes to my time but I was well within my race targets and only this joint, not the rest of the body, was giving me a sign of struggle.  Now here in the story I will add that I weighed 104kg at the start of the race.  As a heavy set and overweight (and medically borderline obese with a BMI of 36) athlete my knees are obviously suffering.  Moving close to the finish the familiar thought of making sure you look good for the photo started coming and once the carpet was in sight, I high five’d my way to the finish line.  The victory was bitter sweet despite arriving 2 hours ahead of my expected scenario.

What happened next you don’t hear about either.  I read in an article that during an Ironman, an Age Grouper research has shown that many of the organs age by about 40years in comparison during the race.  It recovers in just a few weeks but it takes a hit.  For me I could no longer read my phone text without glasses which thankfully restored within a day.  I also had bladder issues where I could not hold my pee for a long time - Ithis recovered as well but took about a week.  Wether that was because of the salt intake or a combo of others I will leave to the scientists.  my knee recovered in just days and after a week I started some simple training again.

As today I am an Ironman and for that I feel proud,  However, I don’t feel as gratified as I would expect myself to be.  I felt like going for a super long walk, not a race of any kind.  Maybe unless you are in a higher league of racing, but a 70.3 offers all the right excitement for a triathlon. the Full only offers your the right to show you are physically awesome, at a huge cost on your body, family and finance.  When asked, would i do it again…… Yeah sure, but then race at your peak all the way.