#4d6? never heard of her

[whalerrat]

*hasnt needed to roll more than 3 dice at a time for a year* i need more dice

[monstersdownthepath]

Scourge Spotlight: Inkariax, the White Death

CR 26

Lawful Evil Colossal Outsider

Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: The City Outside of Time, pg. 86-87

Surprise! Happy Holidays, everyone! I wasn’t going to wait until the end of the month to talk about this tall drink of ice water. The season of giving prompts me to give you something special, and what’s more special than a unique gift? Inkariax here is the first and, sadly, only Velstrac Demagogue to get stats, something that will likely remain true for the foreseeable future. I, for one, wish that he didn’t look like... well, just a Blue Dude with some added bits.

A 70-foot tall Blue Dude, mind, but a Blue Dude nonetheless. Yes, the ‘Colossal’ wasn’t a typo; this guy stands taller than most houses. The average human would be lucky to stand past his ankles. It’s easy for Inkariax to treat most other creatures as below him because, in a very literal sense, it’s true. It’s also true metaphorically, if you believe his origin story: it’s said than when the velstrac were first freed from Hell and migrated to the Plane of Shadow, their essence mingled with the frigid expanse of the plane to birth Inkariax, fully-formed. While other velstrac strive for perfection, he believes himself to already be perfect, and is so secure in his belief that he doesn’t even bother speaking to correct anyone else. There are few creatures in existence that can claim to have ever heard the White Death say even a single word, the titan usually communicating entirely through minor gestures or changes in his facial expression. Though he can understand any language and use telepathy if needed, he never does so except to give vague orders to his greatest minions. The most straightforward communion one can hope to get from him are the extremely rare occasions where he writes something down, which is why anyone at all knows why his desolate domain is called the Frozen Tears, and his personal frigid fortress the White Death’s Diadem.

Due to the lack of need he feels in communicating anything, his goals and desires are an utter mystery, perfectly moldable into any existing campaign a DM feels like having him show up in. However, his primary desire is easy enough to use without changing much: Inkariax desires perfection. Absolute perfection and absolute order. As a perfect being himself, the White Death is uniquely qualified to judge what is and isn’t perfect, and if there’s one thing he despises more than anything else, it’s time’s tendency to ruin perfection. He gets around time’s grinding wheel by capturing moments in amber, arranging the targets of his admiration into exact poses, then freezing them in unbreakable, glass-clear ice so he may admire their magnificence until existence itself comes to an end.

Inkariax embodies the absolute worst, most hostile form of Law there is, the dislike of even casual forms of chaos. Not moral or conceptual chaos, but physical chaos; entropy itself grates against his aesthetic, time spoiling all he deems beautiful. Were it not for his strange fondness for the Lady of Pain, Doloras, inspiring him to attempt to impress her with an ever-growing macabre gallery, Inkariax may be moved to freeze the entirety of creation in a single, exquisite moment, eradicating the possibility of imperfection altogether.

What chance does a party have of stopping him from his strange goals, whatever they may be? Let’s find out...

Well, let’s get something out of the way first: 70ft tall. This gives the mountainous Demagogue a space and reach of 30ft, and with the power to conjure Walls of Ice 3/day, there is likely little the party can do to stay out of his reach, giving him Full-Attack after Full-Attack. Perhaps fitting for such a refined being, his Bloody Icicles can be drawn from his flesh and wielded as elegant rapiers. +5 Wounding Rapiers, to be exact, sized for his massive form and thus capable of dealing 4d6+17 damage (+1 stacking bleed) up to four times each round. Worse still, his specific weapon selection means he critically hits on a 15-20, giving him a 1/4 chance to double his output for the attack... or, to put it in a worse way, it’s likely he may critically strike once a round, possibly even twice a round!

Those Bloody Icicles make for powerful ranged attacks as well, as he’s able to fling up to four a round as if they were +3 Daggers, each dealing 3d6+15 damage and critically striking on a still-high-but-more-reasonable 17-20. Unlike his servitors, who specialize in attacking from afar, Inkariax’s sheer size makes attacking from a range for him less than useful; he can pretty easily be fired on in retaliation because, unless he wants to take increasingly ridiculous penalties due to a dagger’s pitiful 10ft range increment, he has to stay relatively close anyway, and he’s a huge target. Also like the Libitinarii, he has both Point-Black Shot and Precise Shot, but PBS only works if the target is within 30ft... and if he’s within 30ft, then why not simply stab them with his significantly more dangerous rapier? It feels like his threat could be vastly ramped up if his ranged attack feats were traded out with Two-Weapon Fighting and its offshoots to let him dual-wield his icy rapiers without penalty.

While his skill with a rapier is usually enough to carry him, this is only if the White Death’s attention has been sufficiently stirred enough by the attacks of insects. His Unnerving Gaze completely stuns anyone who meets it for 1d4+1 rounds unless they succeed a DC 32 Will save, and unlike most velstrac, it has an effective range of 120ft, letting his dispassionate gaze take enemies out of the fight before he needs to bother drawing a weapon. For those who power through his gaze, his Regeneration 30 can only be shut down by a deific or Mythic source, and his DR 20 can only be penetrated by a weapon that’s Epic, Good, and silver. Rather notably, while he maintains immunity to charms, compulsions, fear, poison, and petrification, he is not immune to ability score damage, drain, energy drain, or death effects, making him one of the rare campaign final bosses that can potentially be weakened with Energy Drain or Enervation, harmed by Destruction, Finger of Death, or Slay Living, or even outright killed with Power Word Kill or even the humble Death Knell if the party has no other way to bypass his Regeneration... you know, if you can get past his 37 SR, but still. It’s interesting that such an angle of attack is left open. The party may not even realize it’s an option, given how death protection is so pervasive at high levels, especially with divine targets! It certainly takes a lot of bite away from the Demagogue.

Also interesting, Inkariax has no protection against Fire damage. Not even any Resistance! He’s got a hell of a lot of protection from Cold, though; not only is he immune to Cold damage, but he’s utterly immune to the effects of ANY spell with the [Cold] descriptor, no matter what it may be. He can move through snow and ice without difficulty, and use his Icy Logic to immediately and unavoidably end ANY ongoing effect with the [Cold] descriptor whether it be a spell, item effect, or even an alchemical item, with nothing more than a standard action. Why are you even wasting your time trying to use cold magic against him, though?! You fool!

The only master of cold here is him! Though he lacks the penetrating Hellfrost of fellow snow enthusiast Baalzebul, he often doesn’t need it, his spells damaging enough to surpass most Cold Resistance anyway. Like I mentioned before he has Cone of Cold and Wall of Ice 5/day, but he ALSO has Freezing Sphere and Ice Storm at 5/day as well, the inconvenient Chill Metal available at will, and the Dex-draining Polar Ray at 3/day. With so much AoE available to him, he’ll probably hit someone who isn’t fully protected from his cold, provided he’s not using his turn to disassemble nearby targets with his icy rapiers (which average out to considerably more damage to single targets than even Polar Ray). If you ARE immune to Cold damage, or perhaps you seem like something he may wish to add to his collection, he has Imprisonment 3/day as a terrifyingly powerful Save-Or-Suck, a single Will save standing between you and being sealed in his collection for eternity.

In a similar vein to that, though, there is one last gimmick he has: As he’s mostly a larger and more powerful Libitinarii, and they’re known to freeze targets they touch in ice to preserve them forever, you’d expect Inkariax to be able to do the same, right? Wrong! He actually freezes everything around him at once in a single go to save time. Upwards to five times a day, he can force all creatures within 30ft of him to make a DC 28 Fortitude save or take 6d6 Cold damage and 6d6 evil piercing damage... and anyone who fails must make a second, DC 29 Will save or be turned into deathless ice. Any victim who isn’t subject to Break Enchantment or similar within 1 hour per HD they have? They’re gone. Permanently. The book plainly and simply states that only the will of a deity can release someone frozen by Inkariax’s magic, making this one of the few abilities in existence that can’t be undone by Wish or Miracle, something that off the top of my head only the incarnates of Abaddon’s will have been able to do before.

Two failed saves standing between you and losing half your party to an ability from which there is no recovering, which you may have to succeed five separate times against. Between that and his Imprisonment, you may begin to WISH he’d stick to his damaging spells.

You can read more about him here.

[sparring-spirals]

full episode liveblog time! here for 102, which i assume will involve combat, and the repercussions of that one crying dude/the whole m9 crying back at him.

(first half of the ep; making a new one for the second half cause this is LONG. a lot happened!)

- oh, boy, matts shirt. matts shirt. that deserves its own post, but either way: god what an unexpected crossover between BDG and CR.

- i had forgotten what experiencing a sam ad was like. is remembering a curse.... or a blessing.... 

- memetic overload.

- i take back what i said just now this is a masterpiece. i would pay for multiple seasons of this. also “spearfishing” is a correct piece of cybersecurity technology and somehow that was more surprising than the rest of the ad.

- i like to think the “very badly pretending they have already recorded something they are going to do in the future” is just a cover up for them actually having time travel powers.

- RIGHT into combat. 

- OH FUCK BEAU IS UNCONSCIOUS wow you cry in solidarity with a figure in the woods and this is how you get repaid? :////

- WAIT SHE’S AT ZERO HIT POINTS???? (haha i love the collective horror from the cast)

- FJORD SLIDING IN TO SAVE HIS BRO, with a whopping 2hp and also a smack to the face of the thing :’) 

- yasha also immediately and sprinting over. ugh i have so many thoughts about feelings about love within the m9.

- *yasha heals more* “okay well its not a competition.” “its a competition”. god i love them

- “We avoided a dragon turtle and we just walked up to this one.” valid point sam, but have you considered: The Mighty Nein Love Trouble.

- ...laura... laura what are you trying to do.

- i love the vibes of “tried to cry in solidarity with creepy figure” encouraging the plan of “going to force creepy figure to smile”. minimal brain cells. maximum galaxy brain.

- caduceus just wants to leave and tbh given his day so far i cant blame him.

- Live on CR, sam takes 3d6 poison damage from his own flask. dammit sam.

- “Oh your pain isn’t funny but im laughing.” spoken like a true friend, taliesin.

- We Love Monks

- vaguely heard sam saying something about “forgot to strain out the chunks” “old wine” “basically vinegar” and wow im upping that 3d6 to a 4d6. 

- FJORD GOT THE HDYWTDT. YESSSS. <3

- the cast are such shits. laura and liam both making squeaky will o wisp voices. also liams voice genuinely startled me. - “I don’t have cure wounds prepped!” the mighty nein have 2 clerics because both of them have non-cleric day jobs.

- ahahahhaha oh man fjord can never catch a break huh. its okay fjord!!! your two hp were very impressive. i was impressed, fjord.

- “4 and then teen!” “are we teaching ronin 14???”

- .....you can... eat your spiritual weapon. h u h. wow.

- AH HERE IS THE CARRYING.

- god this is so fucking adorable and wholesome oh my GOD, jester being super enthusiastic and supportive and silently gushing about yasha with beau, yasha being the one to ask, yasha saying yes to carrying her, beau enthusiastically gesturing to jester about it and being happy, this is so goddamn wonderful.

- jester to caduceus: bro just step out of the puddle bro. just dont get eaten bro. caduceus: but...wait.. but.... D:

- ahh these fjord and jester interactions real cute. shipping aside, i love how they interact with each other- its always very sweet, and caring, in a way that the m9 (group of occasional assholes) don’t always do as well

- ahhh. fjord got through to her about the traveller!!!!! !!!!

- this whole convo is so good, capped by “ah shit everyone can hear us.”

- Fjord: “Who knows if an island is a thing!” Jester: “... an island is definitely a thing. its a landform surrounded on all sides by the sea-” Fjord, Goin Thru It: “BUT IS IT A CREATURE? IS IT ALIVE?” Beau, groggy: “you woke me up just to ask if an island is a thing.” do they know i love them

- jester and yasha fanning beau and keeping her cool. :) :D <3 im not saying ot3 but also ot3

- DINOSAUR - FU CK IN D I NO SA U R S BA Y B I E

- an appropriate array of reactions to a trex

- viridien: i can fl- the mighty nein: YOU CAN FLY WE GET IT

- while trying to hide from a t-rex, veth: caleb did you see my magic earlie-

- i mean.... DO faux gods sleep? its a valid question

-counting myself lucky that the beau and veth arm wrestle didnt turn out like the beau and jester bar brawl from way back when

- the mighty nein: *salty comments about flying* viridien: ..im... sorry? the mighty nein, immediately guilty upon being caught: “oh god sorry we were just giving you shit.” fjord, dropping evergreen truth: “we joke with the people we like.”

- followed immediately by an incredibly forward interrogation. poor viridien is confused, being mildly insulted, healed, and having her brain picked from four different directions. The Mighty Nein are a menace, i adore them.

wow this post is LONG, alright, we’re gonna split it for the break.

[alcapwner]

My favorite GenCon 2018 story

Then later I played Cyberpunk 2020 for the first time. It was a lot of fun! It's a d10 system, but other than that, it plays nearly identically to D&D. I made a Med-Tech (basically a medic) who's handle is "Bed-Tech".  His backstory is tragic, but hilarious. Bed-Tech (idk his real name) used to be a hotshot physician at a hospital in Night City. But one day, he was getting frisky with a nurse on a bed in an empty room on a floor that was being renovated. But someone happened upon them anyway, and he got fired and banned from practicing medicine. Somehow, Night City as a whole learned about this, and a new meme was born: "Bed-Tech The Med-Tech".e.g. "Hey, Bed-Tech, have you tried out any new beds lately?" So the plot of these missions was as follows:

A rockstar named Cindy Williams wants to get out of the contract with her record label (which is also a mega-corporation). She's the daughter of the last mayor of Indianapolis, which has since been largely abandoned (the interior of America was abandoned during the Fourth Corporate War). So, not only does she want to get out of Night City, but she also wants to colonize Indianapolis and become its mayor. To that end, she throws "Cindy Williams' Last Gig Ever." The whole party gets invitations, as well as hundreds of teenagers and young adults, to the skyscraper it took place at. 

 Some of the party members attempt to sneak their weapons into the event (nothing nefarious; Night City just happens to be dangerous). I was one of them. My first attempt to sneak my gun in was to go in through the parking garage, as the residents never get hassled over weapons, only guests do.  The residents enter the garage by scanning a card, which raises the gate and lets the vehicle inside. So I tried to hack the card reader. But I'm not a Netrunner, so this fails miserably. GM: "You whack the card reader with a piece of rebar. Nothing happens." Me: "Fuck! If only I was better at hacking." GM: "I'd have this gate open already if only it was a nurse!" So, I gave up immediately. This, of course, was followed by more uproarious laughter. I was defeated by a goddamn card reader! 

So I decided that I would try to sneak my gun past the guards instead. However, it turned out that the door had a scanner. It wasn't just a pat-down. So instead, I tried to bribe the guards with 100 euro dolllars. This went about as well as you'd expect. Which is to say I rolled a natural 1. GM: "So, you hand the guard 100 euro bucks. He then has you put your gun in the little metal tray. You go through the scanner and ask for your gun back, but he doesn't give it back." Me: "Great. I'm out 100 euro bucks." Party: "Hey, mission accomplished though! You actually got inside the club!" Cue uproarious laughter, which I gladly partook in. To me, this was all completely hilarious. In fact, if I ever quote anything here, you can just assumed we were all laughing.

So, at the end of the show, Cindy invites us up to the 100th floor of the skyscraper, where her office/apartment is located. And she offers us the Indy job. Just as we're about to accept, however, heavily armored German-speaking mercenaries rappel in through the windows. Only two of us have our guns at the moment, and one of them is our elite mercenary. So, another one of us puts his armor jacket on an office chair, and gives it to the mercenary. The plan is as follows: use the chair as cover, and get to the elevator and get reinforcements from the ground floor. So he's running past the mercs, and his bullets are just bouncing off of their armor (because he's not actually making attack rolls). And these mercs are just kinda...watching. 

 Keep in mind that these are hardened killers. They're used to toppling small countries and destroying mega-corps. They don't know how to deal with...this. So he's running to the elevator, and the elevator chimes before he can get to it. GM: "You're a professional mercenary. And you know for a fact that there's no way they sent more mercs to secure the elevator and cut off one of your only escape routes. It's just not possible, in your professional opinion." So of course six more mercs come out of the elevator. Cue Benny Hill music, and our merc runs back the office without being shot at.Merc: "So, um, we need a new plan."

In the interest of time, I will list the plans in numbered list format.

1.  One of us grabs a knife from the kitchen, and challenges the merc captain to a trial by combat. He gives up when the captain punches him in the mouth. He runs and hides in the broom closet. Nobody comes after him.

2. The guy who went out with him grabs a rope and tries to rappel down the side of the building, before remembering how tall the building is and how short the rope is. The mercs actually help him back onto the building, zip-tie him, and forget about him.

3. The Netrunner manages to get a link past the mercs' jamming frequency, and gets more kids to come to the event, saying that an encore will happen. Thousands of children and young adults are mobilized, but the door guards stop them.(edited)

4. The GM mentions that one of the German mercenaries is a woman, which I know because she has her helmet off. I decide that my character has a dumbass plan. He goes out the door and tries to seduce the fraulein (while her captain is watching, no less). I roll a 5+7=12, which is decent, but I still get zip-tied. I make a comment about her being kinky. She discreetly slips me her number.

5. The Merc and the Netrunner go into the kitchen and try to make a bomb out of kitchen ingredients. This somehow succeeds , and they blow a hole in the kitchen floor. The refrigerator plummets down the hole. The Merc and the Netrunner find themselves in the 99th floor apartment, which is occupied by an Asian couple. The mercs decide that they have to investigate this dumbass explosion. They send three mercs. Our merc fires back when they poke their heads down (as the Asian couples watches dis-interestedly). Somehow, our merc snuck an assault rifle in, when I couldn't even bring my pistol! He seriously wounds one of the Germans, but when shooting the second one, he rolls all ones and twos on a 4d6+1 damage roll. They fire back, and reduce him from 28 to 3 hit points. GM: "You're still alive, but you're missing some bits. Basically, you look like a Van Gogh painting." Our merc manages to get away with the Netrunner, though it's looking bad for him. Netrunner: "If only we had someone in our party who could heal you!"

I take the hint. By the time my character heard the explosion, I had already discreetly slipped out of my restraints.  I jump up and run towards the kitchen. However, the three mercs are returning to the living room at this point. I collide with them, and fail to bowl them over. One of the mercs is the woman I partially seduced. Thinking quickly, I say: Me: "I just had to come see you again, Mein Fraulein! I heard the explosion and the gunfire, and I had to make sure you were okay!" Her:  "Oh, don't worry, your idiot friends couldn't kill me no matter how hard they tried. Now please, darling, put your restraints back on." Me (dejectedly): "Okay."

The captain addresses us at this point:"You people are perhaps the worst people we have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Normally, we can just go in and BLAM! Kill the bad guys. But we can't do that with you, even though you tried to kill us! Our job was just to scare Frau Williams, not kill her! She actually got away, so mission accomplished, I guess?"

[helenarlett-rex]

What are the rules for the Fraggle Rock RPG?

I haven’t play tested it yet, but alright. These rules come from a half thought out idea I heard once that I then expanded on a little. I think it has potential to be pretty fun despite being a very simplified game but we’ll find out for sure when I try it. In the meantime if you want to give it a shot yourself and see, be my guest.

And sorry, but this is going to be a bit of a long post.

First take your character sheet and put a picture of a fraggle in that big blank part in the top right. This may not seem like a greatly important part, but if you aren’t using that space to  show off your art skills, be an edgelord, or make everyone else at the table uncomfortable by sexualizing a puppet from a children’s show, what are you even doing? I personally go for the third option so I put a nice little picture by Saara in there.

Next let’s work on your stats. Take 1d4 and roll stats for each block, going straight down the line. No picking and choosing where the numbers go, whatever you roll for each block is what you put there.

If you’re wondering where you put your modifiers, the answer is NOWHERE. You aren’t going to use them so you don’t have any. Fraggle Rock is for kids. You think kids want to figure out modifiers?

Now let’s figure out your HP. HP is equal to your Stamina score plus one for each level your character is. Because you are starting out at level zero, your starting HP will just be the same as your Stamina score.

Your speed will work the same way. Being your Agility score plus one for every level of your character.

The XP box is obviously where you are going to keep track of how much experience points you have, and since you haven’t played yet, you don’t have any. So you’re going to leave that blank. Let’s move on to your AC instead. Armor Class is figured out by adding your Stamina score to any bonuses you have from armor. So for the sake of argument, let’s say my fraggle here is wearing a wool shirt that gives her a plus one in AC. That would make her armor class a five. So write that wool shirt down in your inventory and make the adjustments.

Oh but here’s the fun part where if you are the DM you get to screw with your players a little. For every extra point they take to their AC, they will have to subtract one point from their speed. Wearing stuff slows you down after all. Why do you think fraggles wear so little clothing? So that plus one from the shirt is going to translate into a minus one to their speed. Be sure to make those adjustments.

Now you’re going to notice the two banners under the picture of your fraggle. The top one is for your fraggle’s name. I’m going to name mine Trip. The second one is for your fraggle’s job. All fraggles have a job, but they only take jobs they like and even then they only work for thirty minutes a week. So it really doesn’t matter what job you want to give them. I’m going to say that Trip here has the job of naming colors.

Now don’t confuse your fraggle’s job with a class. You’re only level zero. You don’t have a class yet. Classes like Minstrel or Wizard will have to be earned through game play. It will be up to the DM to decide if your fraggle has done something to become a member of an actual class and up to them to decide what bonuses they want to give you as a member of said class. If Trip here stole a robe and a bunch of smoke pellets from a Wizard for example, and the DM declared that she was now a Wizard because of it, I would change her job from Color Namer and replace it with her new class of Wizard. And I understand there is no place on this sheet to write in class features, but actual classes are rare for a fraggle so chances are you could go a whole campaign and never need to write down class features. If you do earn a class and your DM is feeling generous with new bonuses or features, just write them down on the bottom of the sheet or on the back or something.

Now, what about that box that says Fraggle Flaws? Each fraggle should have at least one flaw or quirk. Your DM will need to make a table of possible flaws or quirks and have you roll on it. This can be anything from a d20 table to a d100 table. I’m using a d100 table with flaws and quirks from 1 to 60 and any roll over 60 resulting in the players having to re-roll until they have come up with two flaws or quirks and combine them. So after rolling on that table my character sheet is going to look like this...

Now that’s going to bring in the next box, Frgglishness. Anytime a player does something that plays into their flaw or quirk, the DM should award them one point to their Frgglishness. Trip’s flaw/quirk is that she’s compelled to bathe whenever possible, so for example, if the party walked past a stream or pond and Trip suddenly stripped down and jumped in regardless of whatever was happening at that moment, the DM would then award her one point to her Frgglishness. These points will come in handy later by allowing her to spend them for extra dice on her rolls. In other words, as a DM, you’re rewarding your players for actually playing their character instead of just going from point A to point B and rolling dice.

And let’s talk about how those dice come into play now. So the first thing I want you to do is take that massive dice collection you have scattered out on the table and move 5d6 aside. Now take the rest of those dice and put them away. All you’re going to need from this point on is 5d6. Here’s how it works.

Let’s say your fraggle needs to cross a decaying rope bridge. Experienced gamers familiar with D&D or other d20 systems are going to think, okay, I’ll roll a d20 and add it to my skill check modifier and then the DM will subtract it from the difficulty level and oh my god we are already talking too much math... Fraggle Rock is a kids show, remember? I don’t care if you’re a grown ass adult and you still love it. I’m the same way. But this game is meant to be simple to reflect the simplicity of my love for fraggles, damn it! So here’s what you’re going to do! You’re going to ask the DM, “How hard is this?” And the DM is going to give you an answer. That answer will either be, Easy, Medium, Hard, or Impossible. And that determines how many of your d6 you get to roll.

Easy - 4d6 Medium - 3d6 Hard - 2d6 Impossible - 1d6

And figuring out if you are successful in your task or not is even easier. If two of your dice come up with the same number, your fraggle is successful. That’s it. You just need to roll doubles on two of your dice. So obviously the more dice you have to roll the greater your chance of getting doubles. And that’s where your Frgglishness comes in. On any roll you can spend one point from your Frgglishness to add one extra die to your roll. And Frgglishness points stack, so be sure to play your character often and collect as many of those points as you can because you never know when you are going to need them and you don’t want to be stuck looking at an Impossible task with no extra dice to roll.

Do you see what we are doing there? It’s a role playing game that forces people to role play. If you’re glued to your phone the whole game, or off at the other end of the table talking to one of the other players OOC while others are trying to play, and only look up from what you are doing when someone tells you it’s your turn to roll your dice, you aren’t going to have a good time. The DM may just decide to put an endless string of Impossible rope bridges in front of you... Then what are you going to do? Stop talking about Star Wars with your friends and act like a god damned fraggle!

Sorry... Let’s talk about combat now. You know, the thing you want do as soon as you are alone in the parking lot with that player who won’t stop interrupting the game to talk about Star Wars... Combat is going to work very similar to skill checks and this is where those stats I had you write down are finally going to come into play. You thought those were for skill checks, didn’t you? Nope! I guess if your DM wants to they could look at your stats and decide how easy or hard a skill check is going to be based on what stats you have. That can be a thing if your DM wants to take the extra step... Like saying, “Oh you have a 4 in Agility? Then for you crossing the rope bridge will be an easy task.” But that’s entirely optional depending on how your DM wants to play it. She could be a sadistic bitch who wants to put your fraggles through a meat grinder after all... For the most part, those stats are going to come into play during combat. Those are going to be used to decide how much damage you do during combat depending on what kind of weapon you are using.

There are no weapons lists in this game. Anything can be a weapon and your DM will decide what stat that weapon is going to draw from. Maybe your fraggle finds a big stick to whack things with. Your DM will probably decide that’s going to draw from your Strength stat. But Trip here isn’t a very strong fraggle. I only rolled a one for her strength. So she’s probably not going to be running around hitting things with a stick. She’s a smart girl, so let’s say her weapon of choice is her words. Maybe she talks the enemies around in circles until they hurt themselves in their confusion... So in inventory I’m going to add Double Talk as her weapon, and that is going to draw from her Intelligence stat.

So now when she has to fight a... oh... Let’s say she’s fighting a Poison Cackler, the DM is going to tell her how hard it is to hit it with an attack. Poison Cacklers are pretty nasty so let’s say it’s Hard to hit it. That means Trip is going to roll 2d6. If she wants to increase her odd, you’ll notice I gave her a Fragglishness point for her unexpected bathing, so she could spend that and bump her roll up to 3d6 if she wanted to. Now let’s say she gets lucky and rolls two fives and a three. That’s a double. So she is successful in her attack. Her INT score is 4, so she does four points of damage to the Poison Cackler which the DM will subtract from the Poison Cackler’s HP. Easy, right?

But what if the Poison Cackler lands an attack on Trip? For this the DM will select how hard it is going to be for the monster to hit the fraggle in question. Trip has a speed of 3, she’s fairly fast for a level zero character but not as fast as she could be. I’m going to decide the difficulty level for the Poison Cackler to hit her will be Medium. The DM rolls 3d6 and comes up with a double as well. The Poison Cackler hits. And let’s say the Poison Cackler does a damage of six. Trip has 5 AC, so her armor absorbs five points of that damage, leaving her to take one point of damage and dropping her hit points down to three.

If a fraggle drops to zero hit points they are dead.

Now that you know how combat works, let’s talk about the last two items of business. What happens when you level up? The DM can decide how many experience points it will require for your fraggle to level up. Personally I’ve never bothered with XP in any game I play and use the milestone system, where I let my players level up after each adventure they complete. But it’s all up to how the DM wants to do it. Each time a fraggle levels up they should be rewarded. For every odd numbered level they obtain, Lv 1, Lv 3, Lv 5, and so on, reward them with one point to add to their stats. This point can be put in any stat of the player’s choice. I’m worried about Trip’s hit points so I’m going to put that point into her Stamina.

She’s now a level one character with five points in her Stamina so that pushes her hit points up to six. Remember, you’re just adding your Stamina and Level together to get your HP. If I’d put that point in Agility I would have pushed her speed up to four, but at this stage I feel like being able to take more hits is more important than moving fast.

On even numbered levels I would reward the fraggles with something other than points for their stats. Give them a cool item with special bonuses or something like that. Just be sure to reward them with something. People hate it when you gain a level and get nothing out of it. But if you give them points to their stats every level the fraggles may become too powerful and let’s face it, that’s not a thing anyone ever said about a fraggle.

Now for the last item to address. That Knowledge box in the bottom right. What’s that for?

Every time a fraggle completes an adventure, or maybe at the end of each session if the adventure is a long thing, the DM should have the players write down one bit of information they learned during the adventure/session. Any information they think would be valuable and worth remembering. Maybe Trip learned that one of her party members has a flaw/quirk where he gets uncomfortable when he sees others undressing. Quite a strange character quirk considering fraggles generally see clothing as being optional... But she noticed how uncomfortable he got when she took off her shirt to bathe in that pond. So that’s the info she’s going to write down for this session.

Players can only write down one bit of Knowledge for each adventure/session so they should choose carefully what they decide to remember. That info can then be used in future sessions to earn more Fragglishness points. Any time a situation comes up where a fraggle can use the info they have recorded in their Knowledge box, they should be rewarded for using it. So for example, if Trip came across another pond while traveling with Boober and she remembered how he gets when she takes her clothes off, and she makes it a point to have him go gather cave moss before she strips down and jumps in, she would be awarded another Fragglishness point. That’s just one example. The info put into that box could be anything from the best way to fight a certain kind of monster to what foods taste bad. But whatever it is, a fraggle can’t earn a point for doing it unless they have recorded that information ahead of time.

One other rule that I forgot to work in before is that if a fraggle doesn’t have any Fragglishness points and still needs to increase the number of dice in a roll, they can still do it without Fragglishness points but only if they can get the entire party to help them with it. And I do mean the entire party. If there are six fraggles in the party but one is off in a different area, it won’t work. If there are six party members you need all six working on the same task to make the number of die go up. Five won’t do it.

And that’s pretty much it. The game is meant to be simple and the DM is meant to have freedom to decide things on the fly instead of being tied to hundreds of pages in a thick book that bogs things down every time you can’t remember the rule for a certain thing. And again, I haven’t play tested it yet, but I plan to in the near future. So I’m not sure yet if the game is going to be too easy to give the players a challenge or if it’s going to turn into a fraggle blood bath.

[an-oger-in-the-wild]

It’s been over the course of about a session a month for the last few months, but tomorrow I will be wrapping up a fun little four-shot campaign for a friend and his buddies.  Through the excitement of the game, the party has trekked through two separate ruins - little do they know, the BBEG at the bottom of the current dungeon is the farthest thing from “the end” of the campaign.

There are, of course, moments during a TTRPG where slaying the boss marks the end of a scene, chapter, or story; however, sometimes there is an opportunity to jolt the players back into the of “it ain’t over til it’s over.”  It is for this reason that I would like to post an idea to DMs that is far from uncommon but still exciting nonetheless: forcing your PCs to escape with their lives after vanquishing a creature of immense power.

Imagine, if you will, the death throes of your mighty creature that your party just finished off - perhaps it was an ancient dragon or maybe a powerful lich or even a Great Old One like an aboleth - the party gets their final lick, describing in detail how they go about slaying the entity.  If we are being honest, a normal combat encounter for most parties goes something like this: FIGHT, KILL, LOOT, MOVE ON.  Your adventurers may have grown complacent with the idea of “it’s dead, we’re safe.” 

But what if they aren’t?

As your wizard begins investigating the area for arcane relics, the rogue moves to check for chests and traps while the cleric systematically offers healing to any hurt heroes, all the while thinking that nothing will happen until they choose to move on - though there’s nothing wrong with this line of thinking, it’s fun to both keep them on their toes while also providing agency to a high-level encounter by pitting them against the element of survival.

Picture a group of adventurers who just cleared a mine full of of duergar to claim an legendary artifact or a party who just disposed of a mummy in an ancient pyramid: what would happen if the magic these creatures used within their “lair” dissolved when their life-force(s) were extinguished?  Here are three tips for building a fun escape encounter that doesn’t turn into a monotonous hour of running.

Tip #1 - Set Your Trigger

Decide what will set off the series of events.  Do you have a special magical item for the party to find?  Perhaps removing it from its pedestal will cause a Cave of Wonders effect.  Do you have the group pitted against a creature with arcane abilities?  Maybe killing them results in a magical rift in the space surrounding.

Tip #2 - Know Your Players’ Strengths

Like any skill check challenge, you’ll want your party to play to their strengths: I feel that players get the most satisfaction out of being able to bring something to the table that is unique to them and useful to all.  Many escape encounters focus on Dexterity saving throws, Athletics checks, and Constitution-focused running...which is all fun and games until your party is mostly casters.  Then what?  I propose taking a glance at your players’ character sheets and picking out a few abilities in which they are either “proficient” or considered to have “expertise.”  This way, the barbarian doesn’t have to piggyback the wizard through a gauntlet of physical challenges (and the wizard’s player doesn’t have to feel useless).

Tip #3 - Pace the Chase

Those who use maps during combat like to abide by a creature’s “movement speed” per round to calculate the distance they can move each turn.  This is practical in battles due to the turn-taking nature of those encounters; however, I find using movement speed tedious outside of combat unless a character is unable to keep up with the others (this could be due to exhaustion, unconsciousness, or other details).  In the event that you want to implement an escape or chase encounter, let me encourage an occurrence-based system to drive your “rounds.”  This way, rather than wasting time going through each PC’s “six seconds” of a turn, you can move everyone forward at a standardized speed to different checkpoints (or “occurrences”) instead. These can be traps that force saving throws, obstacles that require teamwork to overcome, or impediments that can be conquered with successful skill checks.  Once the “occurrence” has been faced, you can move them along based on the pass or fail result and proceed to the next checkpoint in the next “round” of the encounter.

So with those three tips, there is the escape encounter I crafted for my PCs (feel free to steal or adjust to fit your own needs):

Great Escape Encounter

As the succubus slumps to the floor, black, thick ichor spills from her mouth; the same fluid begins to pour from the corners of her eyes as she looks up at you all.  She smiles through the viscous black liquid that now frames her nose and mouth as she says with her last breath - "that was fun…but it's probably too late to run."

A bone-chilling cackle erupts from her throat as she falls, vanquished…however, her destruction also spells the desolation of the ruins: as though standing at the epicenter of an earthquake, a low rumble begins to build until you all suddenly find the walls and floors beginning to tremor…and the fiend's final words resonate within your mind - IT’S TIME TO RUN.

Round 1: Raining Stone

Before they even leave the first room, the ceiling begins to break apart and crumble.

Have everyone make a Dexterity saving throw (DC 11) to dodge the falling objects: on a failed save, the target takes 4d6 bludgeoning damage (or half as much on a successful one).

Round 2: Knowing the Way

Having never been to these halls before now, the party must correctly retrace their steps or otherwise risk certain doom.

Have someone roll an Intelligence check (DC 13) to see if they can successfully remember the maze-like corridors to find their way back to the Grand Staircase.

Failure causes them to take the incorrect route, forcing the save from Round 1 again.

Round 3: Unstable Stairway

As the party runs up the Grand Staircase, several chunks of stairs will crumble and fall, creating a large gap that the PCs will have to jump to clear.  Looking down into it, it gives the PCs a feeling of extreme uneasiness as it exudes an aura of pure chaotic evil.  The chasm fades to magical darkness and the echoing sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth can be heard by all.

Have each PC roll their choice of either an Athletics (long jump) or Acrobatics (parkour-running sideways along the wall then hopping) check (DC 15) to vault the gap.  

On a failed save, another creature may use their reaction to try to catch (DC 17 Athletics check) or cast a spell to aid the fallen PC.  

Failing this check by 5 or more results in barely clearing the gap and thus plummeting into the now gaping, gurgling Abyss.

Round 4: Crumbling Corridors

By this point, the walls, ceilings, and floors have been demolished to the point that it's a toss up as to the safest route to take: even someone with the keenest mind would have a tough time guessing which way would lead to solace.

Have a PC with expertise in Insight roll (DC 17) to see which direction their intuition dictates.

Failure causes them to take the incorrect route, forcing the save from Round 1 again.

Round 5: Watery Walkways

The fountain from the first floor has now flooded most of the first level nearest the entrance.

Have a PC with expertise in Nature roll (DC 19) to discern the safest route to swim to find the exit.

Failure causes them to take the incorrect route, forcing the save from Round 1 again.

Round 6: Triumph or Entombment

A final obstacle stands in the group's way as a massive chunk of stone blocks the exit - this is all that separates them from their two possible fates: being buried alive, or escaping with their lives.

No single PC can clear this impediment: the group must work together to achieve a combined Strength score of 35 to clear the blockage.

A player can reduce this DC by 10 with a successful Charisma-based check (DC 17) to inspire the members making the Strength check (examples: Persuasion to keep calm, Deception to assure them that everything is fine, or Intimidation to induce fear and therefore adrenaline).

I hope this was a helpful guide!  Check out my past posts for other fun encounter ideas!

[pmd-explorers-of-oblivion]

Canon(ish) RP - Ship Spats

(Artemis-mod here.  Occasionally, in the downtime between sessions, we tend to mess about and do roleplays as our characters over on our Discord server.  It works particularly well for stuff that wouldn’t otherwise be particularly interesting to play in sessions--like a looooong journey by boat!  So, without further ado, here are the logs from those assorted RPs.)

Irwin

 *Irwin scurries across the deck, leans over the starboard rail, and hurls into the water below*

Giga (Danica)

 "Uh... Irwin?" quickly climbs down from the crow's nest "Are you okay?"

Irwin

 *he's draped over the railing motionless* Uuuuunnnggh...

Giga (Danica)

 "Ah. Seasick?"

Irwin

 *he slowly turns his head to the side.  He looks like he could be a zombie.* First time... on a boat...

Giga (Danica)

 "Ah. Still need your sea legs then. Don't worry, it'll pass." leans onto the rail peering out into the water.

Irwin

 I don't know how you do it.  It's got to be so much worse up there on the lookout thingy.

Giga (Danica)

 "I just focus on everything else. Honestly, being out on the open sea is reassuring to me."

Irwin

 I thought it would be fun... but now I just want to get back to land.

Giga (Danica)

 "Well, with any luck, we won't be stuck in the Temple of Faith as long as the Temple of Time... Seriously where does Absolute get his stuff for this place?"

Irwin

 Yeah, I'm a little nervous about what we may find there.  I'm glad to be helping Casia though.  I may have been dragged here against my will, but I can appreciate what Absolute does. *he slowly looks up at the land in the distance* And besides, this place is pretty beautifURP- *he leans over and throws up again* *he then proceeds to crumple down into a ball on the deck* Euugh...  Do me a favor, and just knock me out until we get there...

Giga (Danica)

 "I uh... would rather not take the risk of accidentally taking your memories..."

Irwin

 Maybe I'll be better off below deck... *he proceeds to crawl away ever so slowly*

Giga (Danica)

 winces as Irwin crawls away, then looks out at the sea "...wonder how Rippy's doing..."

Sarah Blossom

 she's been enjoying herself..the little cheater she's FLOATING so she doesn't get seasick how whos doing Dani?

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh, hey Sarah. Well, my Samurott Riptide for one..." Puts her head against the railing "...he must be worried sick..."

Sarah Blossom

 looks over at her and leans on the rail smiling happily ahh..you got "family" back home to...i hope my crews doing ok....but I'm sure they're fine!

Giga (Danica)

 "I hope so... Rippy has a tendency to... uh... rush into things if something's wrong, to say the least..." turns to Sarah "What about you? You got folks or Pokemon waiting back home?"

Sarah Blossom

 laughs ah..bon bon is like that....but she thinks on it looks to her "mostly pokemon at this point....knowing my luck...but i call them my family, 5 of em and an egg to be exact!

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh, really now? Who, and what, are they respectively? If you don't mind me asking."

Sarah Blossom

 smiles oh no trouble, in no order really, a sylveon ribbons, an espeon Psy, Nebula the clefable...who was my mom's mon by the way, chance the blissey and bon bon the lopunny

Giga (Danica)

 "Huh... interesting. Riptide's the only Pokemon I've ever really had, per say, and he's been with me for... well, since my earliest Plasma days, I think... way back when he was an Oshawott..."

Sarah Blossom

 "aww that's sweet...nebula and chance have been with me since before i could hold a screwdriver!, Chance was a gift to me when I  turned 2...according to my dad...Nebula and chance might be most worried...but i love all of them...back when the two were happiny and cleffa

Giga (Danica)

 "Heh... that's nice." Looks out towards the sea (again) "Rippy was apparently found from an abusive trainer. I was assigned to take care of him while I was still getting basic training and other such courses... Wow, that feels like such a long time ago..."

Sarah Blossom

 smiles looking out to sea once more "Ouch...I...I really hate abusive trainers....i found psy and ribbons as Eevee's ....i was...few years before I was trainer material...two trainers left them and they were scared....nurse joy had mentioned it when we went to carefor the others....i saw them...they weren't causing trouble...they just needed a snack...they followed like a lost lillipup for the whole day!"she giggled..."it feels a lot longer then.... she blushed sorry..i..i uhh ..rambled

Giga (Danica)

 Shakes head "It's fine, if anything, the rambling is a nice change from... well, y'know."

Sarah Blossom

 laughs haha yeah....adventure...it is nice...plus..I uhh..haven't gotten a chance to really talk to you since....like we first met

Giga (Danica)

 "Yeah... considering we've had to spend most of our time and attention is spent trying not to lose ourselves... well, I'd say that it's a fair statement to make..."

Sarah Blossom

 "It's..putting it nicely...meanwhile I..spent my time wandering and my mind drifting!...Only just recently did you guys help me set straight in my mind

Giga (Danica)

 "Glad to be of some help then. I just hope that we'll be sane at the end of this..."

Sarah Blossom

 "ha, me to, no offense but..you Dani my girl..drive me a tiny bit bonkers with some of your antics"

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh?" smirks slightly "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sarah Blossom

 "i call shenanigans, you egged me on to talk to irwin....and he felt the same way..because you wanted a few extra berries....or the fact you are my wing girl 98% of the time....*raises a brow smirking *

Giga (Danica)

 "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah..." still smirking mischievously "...it was ridiculously obvious that you two were pining for each other. I'm just grateful that it happened sooner rather than... well, too late..."

Sarah Blossom

 "It is the best thing you got me to do!...We realized how much we wanna get out of here...now we don't EVER want to evolve... I'm letting Irwin keep the stone until we find a way to split it in two halfs and make it wearable...and uhmm...*looks around..making sure no one is listening(if anyone wants to try to listen perception roll!!!!~) We uhh...we..kinda got into a talk in the tent the other night...

Irwin

 *the distinct sound of a Quilava stairs can be heard in the distance, followed by a ghostly wail*

Giga (Danica)

 "Wow already at that phase of the relationship, huh?" Insert Sarah's reaction here "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! But do go on."

Sarah Blossom

 EXTREME BLUSHING GO AND WING FLUTTER hahahaha!!!  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.....nono....she whispers..we umm...kissed....

Giga (Danica)

 "Ohoho~" Leans in closer, an interested glimmer in Danica's eyes "You have my full attention ma'am."

Sarah Blossom

 she's blushing umm....we kissed..o-on...t-the lips..soft voice

Giga (Danica)

 beams "Well, well, well~ Now this conversation just got infinitely more interesting~"

Sarah Blossom

 &*shes blushing so hard"s-shush!!!....just..i...on the cheek..he did the same..and..it sorta...happened

Giga (Danica)

 "Well then, how was it?"

Sarah Blossom

 blushed how was it..umm..well uhh..i dunno...i mean it's..it's just a kiss right?

Artemis the Absol

 The Dark-type makes his way above deck.  It seems like he'd been suffering some of the same issues Irwin had been--poor bastards.  "Hi, girls...urp."

Sarah Blossom

 turns around huh..oh look it's our giant amount of fluff that's mega evod....were you listening to us?

Giga (Danica)

 "Nice to see you too Artemis. Also, I believe you do have a minor explanation to give about... well..." points at Artemis' floof wings

Sarah Blossom

 you mean the fact he mega evolved?

Giga (Danica)

 "Wait, you know what he did?" is genuinely confused

Sarah Blossom

 looks at her  WHAT?! you've never heard of mega evolution?!

Giga (Danica)

 "Uh... admittedly, Pokemon related stuff isn't my strong suit..."

Artemis the Absol

 "Mega Evolution?  It's..."  He says, giving a bit of a noncommittal shrug.  "It's something I've been able to do for a while, honestly.  It's uncommon in the tribe, but not unheard of.  I don't use it much since it takes a whole, whooooole lot outta me.  And I can’t fly, even with--"  A rather rough wave rocks the ship, and Arty grips the railing of the boat tightly, wrenching his eyes shut.  "Bleeegghhhh..."

Sarah Blossom

 "well..you DID say you weren't from kalos..so i guess you don't know,,,"she laughs "it's the bond between pokemon and trainer, some pokemons bond is so strong..some have the capability to do whats called Mega evolution a temporary step further of evolution its seen as a trainer has truly bonded with its pokemon as one being... only a number of them can do such a thing...but those that are able to wield the mega stone with its pokemon can be even stronger than before... taking control of it isn't easy..but those who have the right mindset should feel as if they and their pokemon are one

Artemis the Absol

 Artemis squints and peers at her with suspicion.  "You keep saying that word.  What in the world is a 'Trainer', exactly?  Something to do with humans and Pokemon together, that's about all I can tell."  He says, hiding the venom in his tone.  Mostly.

Sarah Blossom

 She speaks of it as if it's pure bliss a trainer...something I am considerably..catching pokemon..but as friends..to perform with me on stage..her voice went from sweet to bitter sour...a mean glare in her eyes do you have a problem with that fluffy boy? (gotta roll intimidate you gotta focus roll arty) (for me that's....2d6 and your focus is what? @Artemis the Absol !roll 2d6

RPBotBOT  @Sarah Blossom rolled 10. (6 + 4 = 10)

Sarah Blossom  (OH MY GOD)

Giga (Danica)

 steps in between both Sarah and Artemis "Ladies, ladies, you're both beautiful, but I believe Fluffy the Terrible deserves an explanation, at least."

Artemis the Absol  (Focus and Intimidate should both be 4d6 iirc)

Sarah Blossom  (your intimidate should be disadvantaged because you're too fluffy (and she went from sweet to...BOOM SOUR

Vivian

There is a loud series of clacking noises ringing from across the way. An automated voice rings out. Sarah, are you picking on Artemis?

Sarah Blossom

 and she's back to sweet what no!...i could just sense the venom in his voice when he said trainer.*she sounds happy once more

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh hi Vivian. Not feeling too seasick, I assume?"

Vivian  !roll d20

RPBotBOT  @Vivian rolled 17.

Sarah Blossom  (tip:you can type just ! roll it's still a 20)

Artemis the Absol  !4d6

RPBotBOT  @Artemis the Absol rolled 12. (5 + 4 + 2 + 1 = 12)

Sarah Blossom  (ok umm.your..your mildly startled by that sudden tone change)

Vivian  She takes a few seconds to type out her response. No. This trip has been a lot easier than I thought. She grips her phone tightly as the boat sways. That doesn't mean the trip hasn't been without its problems, though...

Artemis the Absol

The floofdoggo is relatively outwardly unfazed by her sudden change in demeanor, though the sudden venom leaves him a bit rattled.  Jeezum, temperamental much?   "If you say so."  He says shortly, clearly unconvinced, though he'd rather not press the issue.   "...I'm inclined to agree with Vivian on this one.  I was worried about wasting time, about not doing anything to try and find the rest of my family, but..."  Artemis grimaces as he recalls the impromptu reunion with Mercury.

Vivian Vivian furrows a brow. Who?

Sarah Blossom not temperamental, just one protective girl for her pokemon, don't test her"we won't waste time..vivian had you told me you wanted to get back to your trainer....well you  like i said remind me of someone...every trip has hiccups...but we're making it through height

Giga (Danica) "...the ultra fast Absol, right? He had a bell, didn't he? Sounds pretty similar to what was happening at Lilac Town..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah that absol was wicked fast!

Giga (Danica) "...dare I ask, but are any more members of your family special snowflakes like him?"

Vivian Vivian types on her phone, eyes apparently disenchanted with the conversation. And here I thought you all just forgot about me. she continues typing, not looking up. By the way, next time there's a trap, try a little harder not to let us get captured.

Giga (Danica) gives Sarah a certain look. :/

Sarah Blossom looks away i was looking! i didn't detect anything!...looks away pouts i have a hard time seeing at times..these goggles are gonna make like easier...

Giga (Danica) "Remind me to upgrade the Trap Harvester next time we're in Casia..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah snivy was wondering about it...you never got to speak to him i guess

Giga (Danica) "Corwyn did rush us out of town pretty quickly..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah..i wasn't to happy about that..

Vivian Vivian scowls, as loud clacking emanates. He doesn't seem keen on warning us about traps, either. She continues. I think we should consider throwing them overboard before we get to the place.

Giga (Danica) "Big problem though, they know where the hell we are. And where the Temple is, at that fact..."

Sarah Blossom "viv..you..do know they can swim right?

Artemis the Absol "I didn't expect to meet with Mercury like that--that 'ultra fast Absol' as Danica put it."  Artemis says, nodding to Vivian as he explains.  "Mnh...a lot of them tend to have markings like that.  Gilgamesh is a bit like me, more of an all around-er.  Scathach--Scatty--specializes in bladed weapons.   Bit weird for an Absol, but..."   Another violent wave rocks the boat, and Arty's face turns even more green.  "I'll...be right back.  See if I can't find more of those little tablets Kevin gave me..."   Down below deck he goes--holy shit IRWIN DON'T DIE BRO.

Vivian How well can they swim while packed into a storage crate?

Giga (Danica) "Vivian please, I'd rather not get lost at sea after a mutiny..."

Sarah Blossom smirks save your evil for later..use that on plasma for me ok dear?

Vivian Who?

Sarah Blossom "oh sorry..eherm..those evil goons who kidnapped us before

Vivian I'm supposed to fight evil with evil? Doesn't it add up to being one big evil?

Giga (Danica) "The recruitment standard has really gone down in the last year..."

Sarah Blossom "heh, it's because they all made a mad dash for world ending team flare*she jokes

Vivian Vivi shrugs. Team this, team that. Is everyone on a team these days?

Giga (Danica) "Apparently? Heck, technically we're our own team at this point..." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sarah Blossom "yeah but we're the good guys!

Vivian Says the absol bully. Vivi gives a blunt look as the message plays.

Giga (Danica) "Well, personally I'd rather keep Plasma from essentially killing people mentally..." "And uh, from accidentally destroying the fabric of time, or messing with things that they shouldn't..."

Sarah Blossom "hah..least your team isn't trying to start a war that could end all humanity

Irwin *Irwin lies at the bottom of the stairs, watching as the silhouette of the Mega Absol descends toward him*  ...An angel...? *his eyes take a moment to adjust* .......oh........

Artemis the Absol The Disaster Pokemon waves a paw in front of his face, pulling and tugging him back up to his feet.  "They warned you about those stairs, man.  What with how rickety and shaky this ship can--urp."  He quickly cuts off his chiding, a wave of nausea hitting him.  "Ok, nevermind.  Let's get to Kevin.  Get you checked out and get seasickness away.  Seasick bad."

Irwin Thanks.  *Irwin sways, and leans up against Artemis steady himself* You're not... looking too hot yourself there.

Artemis the Absol "L-like I said.  Kevin can help."  Artemis murmurs, biting his lip and rolling his shoulders, letting the Quilava rest a bit more of his weight against his side.  He's a big boy floof, he can handle this.   A few twists and turns later and Arty noses the far door open... aaaand no Kevin?  Lovely.   "Sonofa..."

Irwin That's okay... *he stumbles his way to one of the beds* Only medicine I need... is a bucket... *he practically falls into the bed* and some water...     I'm no...  sissy... How 'bout you?  You need me... to take care of you? *he chuckles a bit, but it quickly turns to heaving*

Artemis the Absol Arty shakes his head and grins, giving him a light pet on the back before moving to rummage through some of the things on Kevin's desk.  They're sure to be there somewher---aha!  "Oh thank Arceus."  He murmurs, spearing the old, oooooold packet of tablets with a claw.  "Saw him take one of these earlier.  I asked about it and he said they help with seasickness...  bit odd for a Water-type to have, but he did say he used to be human...somehow..."  The Dark-type shrugs, confused--though now really isn't the time to fiddle with that.  NOMF.

Irwin Well hey!  Don't hog 'em... *he stretches his arm out as far as he can without moving his body*

Artemis the Absol "Since you asked so nicely."  He deadpans right back, spearing a second one and plopping it down into his outstretched paw.  "Enjoy."  Artemis says, grinning to himself.  "I'll go ahead and head back up.  See you there?"

Irwin *he stuffs the pill in his mouth and rolls onto his back to help him swallow* Nyeh... Yeah... I'll just... give it a chance to kick in.

Artemis the Absol Arty pauses for a moment, then nods back to the Fire-type, flaring out his wings to keep his balance as he pushes through the ship's winding corridors.  Only a few minutes had passed since he'd left before he finally pokes his head up above deck.  "And back.   Irwin should be here shortly."

Sarah Blossom looks backpoor irwin..i feel bad he's getting so sea sick

Artemis the Absol "Eh, dunno why Kevin didn't' give him any of those lil' pill thingies, then."  Artemis says nonchalantly, shuffling his 'wings'.

Sarah Blossom "well..i guess not...i got a little dizzy at first..but i'm fine now

Irwin *Irwin carefully climbs back up the stairs and greets the others* Hey guys, I'm feeling... a lot... *he runs back to the railing and throws up*

Artemis the Absol Artemis can't help but frown at that.  Maybe they simply aren't as effective for the Fireself?  "Eh, give it a bit to kick in...I guess.  Where were we, again?  Something about...special snowflakes?"

Sarah Blossom "that was all dani

Artemis the Absol "Where'd she wander off to...?  Odd."  Artemis murmurs, frowning and shaking his head with a scowl.  All over the place, this team.  "Was there something you wanted to know, then?  You had that kinda look on your face."  He says, gesturing vaguely towards her.

Sarah Blossom "what me?....well...you seemed...bitter at trainers specifically..

Artemis the Absol "Forgive me if I'm distrustful of humans."  The Dark-type says, growling and baring his fangs.  "Especially since this group we're fighting, all the humans turned Pokemon, they were 'Trainers' too, weren't they?"

Artemis the Absol Artemis rolls his eyes and shakes his head, snapping his jaws shut menacingly.  "And how, exactly, is that any different than the rest of you, beating them to near unconsciousness and taking them from their homes?!"

Irwin Hey hey hey!  Don't snap at her!  I know you just went through something horrible, and I'd be mad too, but we need to be able to trust each other if we're going to make it through whatever's ahead of us. I'm not a trainer, so if that's what's nagging you most, then at least trust me to start. *he leans back against the railing and closes his eyes* And try to keep in mind that this isn't just about your tribe, or my team.  We've seen others being controlled like your friend back there, including a family of young Totodile.  We need to work together to stop this.

Artemis the Absol Arty growls, but he can't deny the logic in his words.  "When we get to shore, we're going to need to have one hell of a heart-to-heart.  And no, NO PUNS!"  He says, quickly regretting his choice of words.  "That's...only for very close friends and loved ones."

Irwin *Irwin looks like he's about to say something, but instead he just slumps down and sits on the deck* If you don't want to talk any more right now, I won't make you.  But don't judge us.  Some of us have been through a lot.  At least let our future actions speak for us.

Adrian St. Artiel "How are we different?" Adrian, with worn bound sketchbook in hand and propped up against the mast, glances nonchalantly at the agitated absol before shifting his gaze back to his work. "For starters, we aren't ALL trainers."

Artemis the Absol Arty stops to the far side of the deck, tail swishing angrily through the air, and he digs his claws into the railing.  "Fine.   Fine..."  He murmurs, lidding his eyes and forcing himself to take a few deep breaths.  That's the other reason he doesn't Mega Evolve often-otional.  "If you're not trainers, then what ARE you?"

Irwin ... *he looks up to the sky* We're Team Wayfinder.  Visitors from various lands, on a mission to rescue and protect the inhabitants of Casia from Team Plasma.

Adrian St. Artiel "I can't speak for the rest, but I've never captured nor battled with a single pokemon... least not until becoming one."

Irwin Same here.  I've almost never even interacted with Pokemon growing up.  I don't even know what type of Pokemon you are, now that you've evolved.  This shouldn't matter though.  I'm not saying we're perfect.  We're all flawed, and will do dumb things, but we're trying our best. We never asked to come here, but we all chose to stay to help. Anyway.... How's that drawing coming along, Adrian?

Giga (Danica) climbs back down from the Crow's nest

Adrian St. Artiel "Adequately." he responds, half brushing the poor fire type off and half too disheartened in his work to respond otherwise.

Artemis the Absol "From my understanding, that Team is what you became after getting stuck here."  He says, putting a bit of a point on it.  "Even so... you...mngh."  Artemis stifles a swear.  Why are words eluding him this evening?   Damnit!  "As for what Pokemon I am, I'm still me.  Still an Absol.  Can't even fly with these things, as much as I might want to."   The Dark-type says, gesturing to and fluttering those 'wings' of his.  "Temporary boost in strength, to put it simply."

Giga (Danica) "Honestly, it's not something I see in Unova very often..." "...or at all..."

Irwin I... can't say I follow.  It happened at a good time at least.  Speaking of which, I'm sorry you had to fight your friend back there. *he holds his paws together and stares at the deck* I don't think I'd have the heart to do that. *he trails off and begins mumbling to himself* If I had known Jack was......

Artemis the Absol Arty tenses up and shoots him a pained grin, baring his fangs once more.  "Bit closer than just 'friend', but I appreciate the concern.  Mercury's my half-brother.  Same mom"  He explains simply.  "And now he's disappeared after that fight... I KNEW I should've...!"

Giga (Danica) "Whoa now!" steps in a bit closer "Look, judging from how you're reacting, I'd say he's pretty close to you, huh? ...we'll find them. If we've run into him once, then I'm more than certain we'll find him again, and more than likely, we'll find the rest of your family not far behind..." Irwin *Irwin stares off in the distance, now with a wide eyes expression of shock* He was your... actual brother?? *he curls up a bit, looking pretty depressed* I... you... *he pauses as he tries to find the words* ...I'm... so sorry.  Don't worry, I'm sure he OK...  If he got away, then he must be.

Artemis the Absol "Maybe not as close as most other families, but with how much we both care for Mom, yeah, we're close."  Artemis says, trying and failing to stifle a low sniffle.  He'd been strong and brave during the fight, but adrenaline was on his side then.  "As glad as I was to see him, to get some kind of a clue, with how he was acting, with those other...twins?  Copies of him?"  He says, stamping a paw on the deck.  "Part of me is afraid to see what they've done with the others.  He was always fast, but THAT kind of speed... I've never seen nor heard of anything that quick, nor strong.  Maybe...once, twice I've seen something even getting close to that level."

Giga (Danica) "Hmm... I wonder... he had a bell around his neck, right? That Dewott at Lilac... he had one too, and I remember he was trying to get it off of him..."

Irwin If that's true... we should at least try and get that off of him.  Though you weren't wearing a bell when you fell under their control Danica.  As for his speed, we have seen a lot of fast Pokemon when dealing with Team Plasma.  They were doing research on manipulating time, back when they had that staff Adrian carries with him.  I wonder if they learned how to do it without the amulet... If we do have to fight him again, I think Adrian can get him down to a manageable speed. Maybe we can even capture him safely.

Giga (Danica) "Speaking of those powers... try not to get into too much trouble. I haven't been able to use mine after what happened at Town..."

Irwin Did you use it in town?  I hadn't even noticed.

Giga (Danica) "...that's because I used it on you Irwin..."

Irwin ..what? *he laughs* Did I fall into the well or something?

Giga (Danica) "Well... you aren't wrong about the water part, let's put it that way..."

Artemis the Absol "If we're lucky enough to get that to work...  And that's assuming that it's the bell that's causing it."  Arty retorts, glancing between Dani and Irwin, canting his head.  Why in the world is she not telling him?  Sure, he got fucked up, but it's not like he was the only one who got hurt that night, either.

Adrian St. Artiel "The powers we gained are likely tied to the temple of time."  Adrian muses, still scritching away at his pad with what would appear to be charcoal. "The fact that I was given the staff is likely the only reason we still have them. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd also assume the temple of faith is where froslass and plasma have been pulling this bell trick from." Adrian glances over at Irwin, somewhat unnerved. "You really haven't figured it out yet? Really? Think. You've seen how her power works. And more importantly you saw the look on Sarah's face that day. It shouldn't have taken you this long to put two and two together."

Irwin Eesh.  You guys are always so cryptic.  It's like with the thing about the water.  Why am I always the last to hear about stuff?

Giga (Danica) "Ehehh... I swear I meant to let you guys know about the water sooner..."

Adrian St. Artiel "It's not cryptic Irwin. It's rather simple actually. You died. Congratulations."

Giga (Danica) "Well, you got pretty close..." shudders at the memory

Artemis the Absol Artemis nods grimly, only to let out a low yawn.  "Well, maybe not died, but--yes."  He turns his gaze up to the stars and the moon above--has it gotten that late already?  It must be past midnight, easily.  "I'm going to head below deck to grab an hour or so of sleep before my watch and meditation.  Good night, you three."  He says, yawning once more and dipping his head.

Irwin And so you give me sarcasm instead.  Right.   Wait, pretty close?   ... W-wait.  OK, just say it, what happened?

Adrian St. Artiel "Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you. I won't repeat myself."

Giga (Danica) "Well, you decided to go after Primarina, who then hit you with a wateris- Attack and... well... yeah... it looked like it hurt, to say the least..."

Adrian St. Artiel *Adrian nods and waves at the absol as he leaves

Irwin *He looks at Danica, then Adrian.  He looks concerned, to say the least* S-so which was it?? *he gets up to his feet* Did I... die?  ...or not?  Am I like Eddie now?? *and turns back to the water* Tharina...

Giga (Danica) "First off; no, you aren't dead. Second of all, you got close. From what I've seen, the effects more or less got reversed when I pulled off the wibbly-wobblyeyey shit again."

Irwin So if you hadn't been there... if the mind control hadn't been broken... I... hrrp... *vom over the railing*

Adrian St. Artiel "Dani's power reverses the flow of time for someone for a set amount of time, just like how mine slows it, like messing with the playback on an old cassette. When she found you... as you were you were too far gone for normal healing measures so we essentially cheated, and made it so that for you, the whole thing never happened."

Adrian St. Artiel "But it did happen, and we did all see the results of you failing to control yourself."

Irwin *Irwin wipes his mouth, lurches over to Danica, and gives her a hug* Th-thank you, then... for saving me...

Giga (Danica) returns the hug "Well, I couldn't just leave you there... It wouldn't be right..."

Irwin Failing to control myself...?  I don't even know what I did.  *he turns around and begins to sulk off* I... need to go... process... for a bit...

Giga (Danica) nods solemnly "No worries, if you need to talk to one of us though, just say the word."

Irwin *he waves limply without turning around*

Adrian St. Artiel *softly, so as to not have Irwin hear "He had to find out sooner or later."

Giga (Danica) at the same volume as Adrian "Admittedly, he took it significantly better than I expected..." leans back over the rails and sights

Adrian St. Artiel "He's definitely the most tolerable of the group, but damned if he isn't oblivious as hell most of the time... ugh." Frustratedly, Adrian rips the page he was working on out of his notebook, crinkles it up and tosses it over the side of the ship.

Giga (Danica) "...no luck?"

Adrian St. Artiel "Not exactly. Just... something I shouldn't be thinking about right now." He sighs and puts his art kit and supplies back in his bag. "I'm heading in too. Likely going to be a while till we hit land. Might as well try to get something vaguely resembling sleep."

Giga (Danica) "No worries. I'll keep watch then..." Waits for Adrian to start moving off before chiming in again. "...Hey Adrian? I need you to be honest with me, do you think we made the right choice in... staying here?"

Adrian St. Artiel Adrian looks back over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow."Hmmm? Oh that? Well, to be honest... No. We probably didn't. But at the same time, I don't think it really matters." "Something tells me leaving wouldn't have been the simple matter that Absolute eaking it out as. We'd likely be pursued by plasma anyhow, whether we were human or pokemon, simply because we were here, and we have seen what's been going on. You think a place like this would stay as is if the whole of the outside world knew about it? Plus I've begun to suspect that Absolute and Moira aren't quite as all powerful here as the think. There's more to it. Stuff they're either not telling us, or don't know themselves. Least from what I've gathered. And also..."

Giga (Danica) "Hmm?" turns to look at Adrian more clearly

Adrian St. Artiel "I don't think I CAN leave. Not yet anyway. Just personally. Being here has made me... remember things. Ironic right? Things that I haven't thought about in a while. Things I didn't want to think about. I think, for a good long while before coming here, I haven't really been trying to think at all. At least not about myself or what I was doing. I kind of just... kept moving, not looking nor caring where I was going cause it felt like if I stopped, everything I left behind would eventually catch up and I'd have to answer for a lot of.... well, let's just say lapses in judgement and leave it at that. But here... it's different." "The outside world can't touch us in here, at least not directly. It's like someone pressed pause on life, and then gave us the time, for better or for worse, to think things over, and try to make sense of where we are. At least, that's what I've been trying to do. I know I can't go back to the way I was, not really. I've at least realized at this point that I was going nowhere, and keeping a lot of things bottled up. And so I've decided that, before I even consider heading back, that I would figure out just where I went wrong and to make plan to at least try and fix things... whatever that might entail."

Giga (Danica) "...guess we're in the same boat then." looks out at the sea. "I don't know what's going to happen to us here... Hell, I can't even guarantee our own physical safety... And there's only one thing that I'm completely certain about." looks up to the stars. "That once we leave, once this whole crazy adventure is over, we're never going to be the same people we were beforehand, like you said, be it for better or for worse... Between you and me Adrian, I don't have a lot waiting for me back home. Main reason I'm not accepting staying here... well, I've got things I still need to do as Danica." grips onto the railing. "...I can't afford to falter in my duties... not when... not when the alternative is... when failure is..." Frowns, then shakes head in frustration. "...Not when there's so much at stake." "But enough of that. Tell you all what, I've got a decent amount saved up. Once we're done with this place, how about we all go on a trip to Alola? Or something, either way, getting away from all the world's stresses sounds pretty good right now."

Adrian St. Artiel "Hah. We'll see. First we have to make it through the night. And on that note-" Adrian turns and waves behind him. "-I'm off. Take care Dani."

Giga (Danica) "Heh, night Adrian. I'll keep watch and let you guys know when I see land."

Adrian St. Artiel Adrian gives a thumbs up (Or at least, the smeargle equivalent of one) as he descends the ladder into the ship's depths, but says nothing else, disappearing from view.

...

Out of the corner of your eye, over the railing, a glimmer of moonlight reflects off something and catches your attention.

Giga (Danica) "Hm?" Tries taking a look at what's reflecting the light...

Adrian St. Artiel You peer over the side and for a split second, you spot a patch of white amidst the dark ocean below. A face, a human one maybe, hard to make out from distance and darkness and saturation, stares back at you from just slightly beneath the water's surface, inscribed on a crumpled up wad of paper that is slowly unraveling itself, bleeding black clouds of water and coal as it sinks below the surface. You only get a quick glimpse of it, what you are able to make out, before the passing wave sweeps it behind the boat and out of sight: Long hair, tied in a pony tail. A bright smile, nearly erased by the waves. And the letter K...

Giga (Danica) Dani's brow furrows in confusion. "What on...?" ((Cue intuition roll!)) !roll 4d6

RPBotBOT @Giga (Danica) rolled 18. (2 + 5 + 6 + 5 = 18)

Adrian St. Artiel While the girl depicted is not familiar to you in any way, the material she was drawn on is. In fact, you're fairly certain you saw a teammate of yours huck a similarly sized, if not identical wad of paper over the edge moments prior. What this means however, is a mystery to you. You can say this much at least: from what you could still see (and water damage aside) the picture looked very realistic. And very detailed. Painstakingly so.

Giga (Danica) "...oh geez..." looks over to where Adrian was earlier and then frowns, before climbing back up onto the crow's nest to keep watch over the horizon/surroundings. "...there really is way too much at stake for us, huh?" ((Uh... end RP?))

[nerdarchy-blog]

Your stalwart old lady grognard finished her first fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign last night! And my character survived!

First, a little backstory. A little more than a year ago, I read about Nerdarchy on Facebook and watched some of their videos. I learned they were right across the river in New Jersey! At the time, I hadn’t played (as a player) a D&D game in decades, and I’d never played 5E D&D. However, the popularity (it seemed everyone was playing it) and my desire to play D&D again caused me to reach out to the Nerdarchy guys. But how to make myself stand out from the thousands of emails, comments and fan mail they received each day? Hmmm. I know! I’ll rattle off my gaming resume! (TSR, GW, etc.) And they responded!

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After some initial texts and such I was invited to a game forming that would be played once a month. I’d never met any of these people, and for all I knew Nerdarchist Ted (who was hosting) was actually a serial killer who had chained Nerdarchist Dave in his basement to make the videos. (Is Nerdarchist Dave blinking “T-O-R-T-U-R-E” in Morse code in that video?) In any case, I drove from the Philly ‘burbs to meet the guys and sit in on a game in an edition that was far different than the one I knew. Damn millennials. Get off my lawn.

Fortunately, the other players as well as Ted (henceforth DM) were very patient with me as I fumbled through character creation, etc., and humored me when I insisted in *gasp!* actually rolling my character stats instead of taking the standard frame thing. *clutches pearls!* The rest of the group looked on bemused as I rolled the 4d6 method from ages past, with the condition that I get one shot at this and must accept the character as rolled…

7 11 16 13 18 16 (not in that order)

Holy crab! Best character I’d ever rolled! I, of course, played it cool, extolling the virtues of the Old Ways while, inside, celebrating like crazy. As it stood, I had the best stats in the party. So of course I decided to play…

A cleric.

I was going to play a human cleric (WTF is a “warforged” anyway?) but Dave suggested an aasimar. A what??? That’s a human with divine blood who gets really powerful boosts and stuff to start, and progressively gets more powerful. Hmm… cleric with angel, I mean “celestial” blood? I could work that. I’d heard 5E D&D had wildly overpowered characters but… wow. The DM allowed us use of D&D Beyond, which was an immense help to this novice. I found a suitable picture online that fit the character description.

So was born unto the table, Emerald of the Light. She was a Light Domain cleric (duh) as this fit the idea I had for her. She was going to be young, drop dead gorgeous and very good at ministering to the flock and converting others to the Light. The DM even allowed me to design her deity, whom I named Selah, commonly the known as “the Light.” I designed the priesthood, the paladins (the Service of the Light,) the temples, relics, etc. In addition, I designed a beggar deity in the pantheon: NohWhey.

The rest of the group were a motley crew (cue ’80s music) and we spent the first session deciding on our group backstory (we started at 3rd level), and between the DM’s two campaign ideas. We even were able to name the big bad — a generic wizard name from my old campaigns: Zoltar. Our group named itself the Seven Who Stayed (as we were the only seven desperate enough for a job to stay for that first quest, which was to rescue a family from a cult of goblins who worshiped an owlbear. It got far more complicated, but that’s the basics). It bears mentioning I was the only female character, and the only woman at the table.

In March 2019 we began the campaign. Over time we fought giant stirges, settled a town dispute without bloodshed (thanks to my… Charisma and Wisdom) encountered Ipskig Fizzletop, genasi, an invincible undead dwarf, a booger flying across the table and landing on my character sheet (really!), various monsters made from pieces of multiple beasts (that was Zoltar’s bag — making combination monsters that steadily became more Lovecraftian and bizarre) including a tentacled two headed T-Rex, got gold teeth for a shriveled goblin shrunken head, discussed scaly lizard nutsacks, traveled through multiple planes and, in the end, saved the city-state. During that time, Emerald healed the party while dispensing Holy Justice. Oh, and she never died.  Her stats at the end?

7 STR, 11 INT, 16 CON, 13 INT, 20 WIS, 18 CHA

The players (I’m not naming them as I don’t have permission) were wonderful roleplayers, much to my character’s chagrin. They did so many frustratingly stupid things that were so in character I was fascinated. Emerald was often the straight woman to their jokes. I don’t think we had a true party leader but the group often did what I suggested. Not always. Sometimes.

Okay, I loved the campaign itself. Now… I’m removing my emotion hat and am now looking at the system objectively from the point of view of a person who���s been playing D&D for over 40 years.

Pass the Geritol.

I’d heard from many Players of Experience that the new edition was very simplified, didn’t resemble the original game in most ways and had overpowered characters.

They are correct. Aside from the monsters and the class names, there really isn’t much of the original game left. Character generation is oversimplified to the point of being generic, as are character hit points and experience (your characters gain a level every two sessions — no experience points). Also, occasionally when levelling, a player could add two points to an ability score (or a feat). (Max: 20.)

Math has been completely eliminated from the game. The other players were again shocked I always insisted on rolling my hit points when we leveled instead of taking the average. Usually it worked out in my favor (praise the Light!) but not always. In the end, Emerald’s hit points were 10 points higher than if I’d taken the average (plus Constitution bonus).

Okay, even with the generic stats the characters are far more powerful than back in the day. They start with feats, which give them incredible abilities. The races also have jaw dropping abilities to start as well. I can’t speak for the other classes but the cleric spells and abilities were also incredible. By the end my 10th level cleric was throwing fireballs (previously a wizard only spell) while flying over the battlefield with wings of light created by divine power, and had a 10% chance of calling for Divine Intervention once a week! And I was far from the strongest character in the party! (Best spellcaster though. Hee hee.)

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Zolar, the big bad of Nerdarchist Ted’s campaign

The terrible two-tentacled T-Rex

The DM compensated by throwing monsters (like the aforementioned T.T. T-Rex) that we really had no business defeating. Zoltar ended up as a lich with two beholder eye stalks (damn clever if you ask me, and yes, the DM converted the model!), which was immune to fire. Also to compensate, magic items were exceedingly rare for the players, but not for the monsters who, when defeated, often had their weapons vanish or such.

Combat with the large group sometimes dragged, as it will with a large group, but… I felt it lacked the flavor of previous editions. Weapons did damage, but were really interchangeable. Emerald’s mace may as well have been a broad sword. Or a wooden club. While slightly more complex, the old versions’ damage by weapon type and bonus/penalties vs. certain armors really added to the flavor of the game. Oh, and forced the player to *lightning and thunder crash* do math!

In the new edition’s favor is that with all the computer programs, companies churning out amazing play aids (like Nerdarchy’s Out of the Box Encounters) and YouTube videos helping people learn the game, as well as just videos of people… just …playing… zzzzzz… Oh, sorry… really helps.

D&D was definitely a niche thing back in the day: nerds and outcasts only, even during the heyday of the early ’80s. Now it’s chic and all the cool kids are playing it. Is this because it’s so streamlined? Probably. It plays like an online video game, which I’m sure helps with recruitment.

Older editions were more complex, required math and deductive reasoning (due to the books being poorly organized in the original edition — yes, I’m looking at you, first edition DM’s Guide!), but had an air of wonder. Everything was new then and as a player one felt like part of something special. I felt that way working for TSR in the ’90s, even though the company was becoming very corporate. Fifth edition is falling into the trap that second edition did — there’s so much material and rules out there that things are becoming convoluted and hard to follow, even with computer assistance.

Or maybe that’s just me. Maybe part of my memories of first and second editions are tinted with the golden light of memory and nostalgia — of old friends, great adventures played in unfinished basements or cramped cinder block dorm rooms.

I DMed a second edition campaign briefly last spring, which ended when one of the players (a Gen Z) said the game was boring, and two of the players went back to fifth edition gaming. The scenario wasn’t boring, she said (Keep on the Borderlands, if you’re curious) but the system was. I was deflated. And hurt. Took it personally.

I’m not here to piss in anyone’s corn flakes — if you enjoy fifth edition then play it! Enjoy the camaraderie, enjoy the settings and making the DM curse when your unexpected action completely derails their plans (that hasn’t changed in any edition!). I’ll play if offered a seat (which as a transgender woman is rare — but that’s another column for later) sure. But to DM?

My heart will always be in the early editions.

Get off my lawn! I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids! *passes out Werther’s Original candies.*

Be well!

With her first 5E D&D campaign complete now that Nerdarchist Ted's game ended, a longtime player compares the experience to earlier editions of the game Your stalwart old lady grognard finished her first fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign last night! And my character survived!