#4 months till Christmas guys

[ollieneedstherapy]

D.A.M.N crew head cannons

-As a kid Damien would stay up late and read under the covers

-Huxley’s moms names are Jade and Ruby, both are earth elementals

-Gavin’s go to slushee is Pinà Colada and blue raspberry

-Freelancer’s loves reading, they’re the kind of person who has a new book every few days

-Gavin loves to have freelancer sleep on his left side and have Caelum on his chest, he sleeps on the right side of the bed which is the closest to the door

-every night for years Lasko would text all his friends good morning and good night texts, he only stopped after the intervention

-Huxley is one of the people who can do the Alphabet backwards, he did it so much as a kid, he struggles to sing it forward

-Damien had seen basically every studio Ghibli film, after a hard day he’d make sure no one else was home and cry while watching Howls moving Castle

-Huxley can carry everyone in the easily (is this one cannon??)

-Freelancer owns a plush for everyone in the group, Damien’s is Calcifer, Lakso’s is a d20, Huxley is a cactus, Gavin’s is a dick, Gavin’s is a slushee cup

-Caelum, when he can’t sleep will check on all of his charges four or five times to make sure they’re safe

-Freelancer loves to sing ‘Freeze your Brain’ to Gavin, he has no clue what it’s from or the meaning but he’s happy his Deviant is happy

-Gavins super allergic to pollen, during the spring this guys dying

-Lakso can and will rap old English for his students, he can not rap in normal English

-Huxley got everyone in the group Stanley’s for Christmas because he knows none of them drink enough water, and they’d feel bad if they didn’t use the gift

-Gavin, in his true form, has strips on his back and thighs, when Freelancer and him have…fun, they like to trace them

-Lakso drinks enough caffeine to kill a horse, some of his students keep track of how many energy drinks he drinks in their class alone (The most is 4 and a half)

-Damien has owned 4 cats, 3 dogs, 17 gold fish, and 6 Guinea pigs before he started high school

-He was also homes schooled till he started year 8

-Freelancer and Lakso meet up twice a month, just them, to watch shitty K-dramas

-Caelum doesn’t understand popcorn, when Gavin and freelancer have a movie night with him, he spends like ten minutes just asking about how popcorn works

[circeyoru]

Gone Too Young _ Part 4 = Collab

[Human & Demon!Alastor x Male BFF!Reader] - Platonic

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 (here)

My collaborator: @blubugg13

As the two of you got older, you had more jobs on your agenda and Alastor was busy with his internship at the local news stations so he could get a feel of being a news reporter, later a radio host, just as you suggested

You knew him well, turns out he does like the thought of being a radio host, he had the idea of you being his co-host or a guest from time to time, even an assistant! That way, your job is stable enough and he would be able to help you finanically whenever you needed without you complaining like you do now

His mother had the better idea. Adoption. While you were off the list, surely you’d make an exception when it was his mother was wanted to do it. He could see as clear day that you had a soft spot for his mother. Hard to reject motherly love, he’ll agree. It was your Christmas gift, you’ll have a family

You never showed up to the secret meet up you two arranged. Alastor waited under the freezing cold, the streets were a buzz, he watched families go up and down. Perhaps you were working a bit later, you did say you might not be able to make it and apologized beforehand. He waited a bit longer. You still didn’t show up. He had to return home

He didn’t know, the ambulance that he passedby carried your deceased body

Christmas day came by, you weren’t there. The orphanage cancelled the adoption plan his mother registered. Before they agreed! They said it would be the perfect surprise even! Everyone was in on it but you

Something in his gut told him, something’s wrong. He ran to the orphanage and asked for you, maybe you were sick and couldn’t tell him. Yeah. When he got there, he wasn’t allowed entry, the director came to the door personally to inform him you leave town for an internship, some wealthy businessman offered you that and you took it and left

“When will he be back?” Alastor recalled asking.

Yet there was no solid answer.

“A few days, I’m sure.” Your sister figure answered without looking at him. He caught her outside while shopping.

“I think like a month. Not sure.” Your coworker shrugged.

“He’s sleeping though.” One of the little ones you take care of spoke when he sneaked into the orphanage to see you.

“Maybe never, you never know.” One of your employer said.

“Stop asking for him! Mind your own business!” The director stopped him in his tracks.

But you were his business. He was your best friend and you were his. Why can’t he know where you went and when you’ll be back? Why does it feel like everyone but his mother and he know something about you?

Then he caught it while listening in on some workers chat while taking a break outside the last factory your worked at. The horrifying truth of your disappearance

“That kid Alastor’s back?”

“Yeah, he’s asking about him again.”

A sigh. “Can’t we just tell him what happened? It was an accident.”

“Are you crazy?! Who would want to know their friend ended up like that?!”

“Besides, the orphanage director already said to keep quiet about it.”

“I mean, it’s brutal.”

“I’ll say. Getting your arm rolled into the machine like a piece of meat, then die from blood loss.”

“I still get nightmares from that day.”

“Christmas day horror. It was even worse for that guy that accidentally bumped into him, right?”

“Yeah, Joe quit his job and just disappeared.”

“But I heard he was a roadkill somewhere.”

“Wow, that’s like karma.”

“Crazy sh*t happens everywhere…”

Alastor never ran that fast in his life. His smile fell and tears rained, the weather seemed to echo with the truth he learned, it rained, poured heavily. He ran into the forest and screamed till his voice gave out

No way… No way. NO WAY. NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL!

He clenched as he fell to his knees. How could they keep such a secret to him? Everyone. Every one of them lied to him. Because he was some kid. Because you were just an orphan? Why? Why didn’t anyone tell him?

Unlike the others, he told his mother the truth he learned. Those adoption papers that sat on her desk in the study room were put away into a drawer, locked up. His mother soon fell ill from griefing and the shock, passing soon after then

Now when he walked the same roads and saw the people you helped, he saw red. That rage boil within him. Who knew and didn’t care? Who ignored your tragic death?

Without anything to ground him, he only had his job as the new radio host. A grand start!

“Welcome, everyone! I am Alastor, now your new radio host! You might have remembered me from other channels when I was still a young lad, haha! I’m here to stay! But regrettably, I have to start with recording some distrubing and tragic news. There seems to be a killer on the loose. So everyone be sure to lock your doors and windows at all times, you never know when the killer will strike.”

Note: A bit short but... That concludes the parts for the human Alastor and Reader~ Next up are the ones for the demon version and in Hell~

Circe Y. 

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @boredwithlifeatthispoint @mysterypotatoink

[tf2bhalo]

Ok personal spy dad headcanons that are heavily influenced by Lil Pootis...

Blu:

Blu Scout knows that spy is his father, the guy actually stayed to raise him some what till a nasty break up when he was about 8. He's an only child too.

Spent summers and holidays with his dad when Spy could get off work. But often he'd miss out on things like baseball games because of the short notice. Its way easier to tell people you don't work jobs on Christmas than you don't work meec jobs on Saturdays from 11-4

Blu Scout can understand French! Can't speak it very well though. He can also read and write, is actually pretty damn smart. But he's got the mouth of a sailor and the stubbornness of his father, landed him in military school.

He didn't have much luck on finding employment for more than a few months. Till his mother nearly kicked him out of the house and he found himself begging his father to put a good word in for him at a job site.

The only reason Blu Scout got the merc job was because Spy only agreed to the job under the condition that his son would be employed too. That is why Blu Scout is there in the first place. He likes his job, doesn't know what he'll do when the gravel war ends though since his only real work references is "trust me bro"

--

Red:

Honestly it's just the classic Jeremy story with not much changes? He's got no clue that spy is his father. His mom keeps dropping hints every time he goes home for the holidays though. His mom says his father went back to France when he was little. His brothers all back up the story. Scout has no clue that Red spy is his dad.

Red Scout isn't very smart. He's got a mouth but he knows he's not smart enough to get away with being a jackass at work. Kept getting fired from job after job for workplace incidents, usually related to not reading directions. Because he can't read.

Red spy got him the job as a merc. Back in Boston for a job and the administrator had told him of an upcoming project they could use people for. So when he inevitably got the call from Mae (my hc name for red scouts mom) begging for him to help Jeremy find a job he knew just where to go. A merc job that spy was going to take anyways, where he'd be able to keep an eye on the guy and ensure he'd be employed for longer than 6 months.

So yeah that's my headcanon on how both scouts are Nepo hires! (:

[natjac]

My entire life I’ve been forgotten. Being the closeted gay kid with only girl friends I didn’t get to go to the sleep overs and wasn’t invited to the parties cuz I was the quiet kid in the back. I had interests no one cared about when I talked to them or they would call me obsessed.

Adult life got easier. I made good friends but was still always felt like the plus one. Spending nights in country bars and other places where my friends met guys and I was their support cheering them on and protecting them but always alone after.

Guys treated me like shit when I would talk to them. Disrespectful, ghosting and putting me down to make themselves feel better.

Then I met you, and you did none of that. You listened to me, even with things you knew nothing about like when you saw my best friends had Pokémon types assigned to them in my phone and you went through all the types to pick yours out even though you knew nothing about Pokémon cuz of your religious parents.

Remember the map I made of all the meaningful places we had been to as a valentines present and I used all those bitmojis cuz that show you met me (you said my bitmoji on Snapchat was cute). Remember the home theatre we made at your apartment? Or when it snowed on campus and how pretty it was. Remember when we got our rescue do Brie?

Fixing my moms place after the contractors stole from her. Going to Del Rio and meeting your family. Your dad and mom both inviting me into their house to celebrate Christmas with them. Taking a secret Vegas vacation my sister and best friend payed for just so they could meet you. Remember when I would drive to Houston in summer with no ac just to have lunch with you during your internship? Remember all the amazing “alone” times we had? The things I could do that no one else could.

And so many more wonderful memories and moments.

You showed me love, affection, attention, and made me feel attractive for once in my life. You did so much good for me. You became my best friend and my boyfriend. And yea you messed up. A lot.

You cheated and I forgave you each time. I’d ask why and you wouldn’t give me anything but “i don’t know.” But those were a drop in the bucket compared to the good times. The laughs, the love.

I helped you through your mental illness, took you into the hospital and talked to your family when they thought I was just your roommate. Four times I did that. Never held it over your head but only wanted to help you. I moved from everyone I knew to be with you in North Carolina, to support and love you when you got into Duke. You said you wouldn’t get in but I knew you would. I never doubted.

At my sisters wedding you told my best friend you wanted to marry me. 5.5 years on my life all of the unfaltering love, dedication and sacrifice. All of it would have been more than worth it for a life time with you. That’s all I ever wanted.

A month later you told me you had cheated and didn’t think you could stop. You said it was something you needed to work on, on your own. With out me or anyone else. So we planned to break up. Maybe get back together after you grew. But we agreed I shouldn’t be in that pain anymore.

Then you got into a new relationship in less than 2 months. With a mutual friend that I was wary of your friendship with. And you spin the same story again. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t think the flirting and us texting till 4 am led to us getting together. You are just trying to make things fit in your narrative.” Even though you are supposed to be working on these issues on your own. That’s why we broke up right?

And after you guys got together and we were still trying to help me deal with the breakup the compassion and apologies changed to mean spirited comments and frustration. To the point of our friendship and all mutual friends with us had to be cut out. I lost all of them. Because you did wrong.

The worst part of this all though. You act like the last 5.5 years didn’t exist. You have no respect or compassion for what I did.

Because if you did I would get genuine apologies and answers for what you did. I wouldn’t have been forgotten about when you and your new boyfriend talked to our friends to make sure that they were ok with it and you hid it from me. You two apologized to them but not me. Neither of you are accepting or acknowledging that the flirting and shit led up to this. Or the lies you’ve told. Or possibly worse how you cared about others feelings but forgot about me.

And that’s my fault for believing that some measure of love you had for me would carry over. Or our friend and you to respect me and apologize for the months of flirting and pain you two caused me afterwards with the lies and backstabbing.

You will never understand what you did to me. To bring someone to such happiness and then utterly destroy them. To the point that I sit and wonder which parts of our relationship were real and which were fake.

I don’t know if I’ll ever stop caring and loving you. You became my best friend, and I lost both that and my boyfriend at once. And the loss of respect and care on your end… nothing I could have done would have prepared me for that.

Now I sit here every day, trying to move on. Trying to find a reason to keep going. With thoughts of ending my life bombarding me because if someone that I cared for and loved that much can so easily forget about me and erase me from his life like I was nothing. What am I doing here.

Anyway I’m going to therapy starting this week. I think it may help. I hope it does and I hope I find someone who will accept every good and bad part of me and will embrace them.

I don’t wish you ill will despite all of this. I want you to be happy and healthy.

But I know you will be haunted by us. Even if you act like you aren’t. Haunted by memories of what you threw away. For who you threw away. For the pain that you caused me.

And I hope I forget you. Because you have now tainted all the good times. I never thought that I would feel this way towards you. I know I never will forget you. But if there was an option to I would take it now.

Our relationship was to date my proudest accomplishment. But you are my greatest disappointment.

[foxes-that-run]

2019 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, Back to 2018

1 January - Taylors New Years Eve costume party she dresses as Ariel

3 January - MH asks to produce Harry's next album... via twitter.... and says Harry has blocked him.

6 January - Taylor in LA at Golden Globes afterparty

9 January - Harry still in Japan

Miss Americana filmed between Rep tour and Lover, released in 2020.

16 January - Kiko Mizuhara says she has never met Harry, then

2 February - Kiko at Harry's birthday party they may or may not have dated.

18 January - Taylor seen at recording studio in NYC (suggested Me!, but I think that's too late, it was released as a single in April)

26 January - Harry still in Japan

1 February - Harry's 25th Birthday “I had a very Murakami birthday because I ended up staying in Tokyo on my own. I had grilled fish and miso soup for breakfast, then I went to this cafe. I sat and drank tea and read for five hours.” (Harry Styles on his 25th birthday, Rolling Stone 2019)

10 February - Joe and Taylor go to Harry's local, the Spaniards Inn Hampstead Heath ...... Harry was in LA on the 12th. Seen walking in Paris in March and not again for 7 months.

12 February - Joe and Taylor attend the BAFTAS Taylor is photographed having dinner with Liam Payne

5 March - Taylor things before 30 article, includes that Andrea is again in treatment

14 March - Harry arriving at gym in London

28 March - Harry JFK airport, then hotel in NY

29 March - Harry and Xander dinner Ny

5 April - Harry in LOndon

23 April - Taylor plays Time 100 show setlist is Style, Delicate, Love Story, NYD and Shake it off

26 April Me! Video released, just before April 29 anniversary... Joe not seen with Taylor till October.

2 May - Taylor Zane Lowe Me! Interview

3 May - Harry in LA

5 May - Harry Anna Wintour's apartment, pre-met Gala dinner

7 May - Harry hosts his only met gala attendance, Taylor’s doesn’t go anymore. Adore you and Lights up written in May. Harry and Kendall have after party and both leave at 6am and both stayed at the Bowery hotel. Jeff and Xander also there.

May - 6 July Joe filming A Christmas Carol in Hampstead Heath and stays in London after. Taylor in US, billboard awards, Lover media

15 May Harry was in the studio, Harry writes Adore You, Lights up, Treat People with Kindness, starts Boyfriends.

18 May - Harry driving a bright yellow vintage ferrari in Malibu, you can practically hear golden in that photo.

20 May (Haylor anniversary #1), still in studio, Harry wears a white horses shirt and fearless gold shorts on the beach in Malibu. While Horse is a Fearless song he also references in the Daylight video. Fine Line then complete

21 May - Gucci Swan Campaign released

24 May - Taylor in Paris with Joe, she recreates scenes from Begin Again which are later in the TV version of Taylor Swift Live in the City of Lover, except the concert was filmed months later when Joe was not there.

3, 6 June - Harry in London,

9 June - Blind that Taylor & Joe double date was PR setup

30 June Big Machine Records sold with Taylor’s masters.

2-6 July - Taylor in Virgin Isles with her mum, Ashley and the Haim sisters, Joe still filming UK.

10 July Taylor Performs at Amazon Prime event in NYC, points at a figure in Delicate thought to be Joe.

15-17 June - Harry visits Xander in Philly, airport photos

18 July - Harry sells LA house at a loss after 2 years on market

20 July - Taylor in NYC

29 July - Harry in NYC for Rolling Stone shoot in Hawaiian shirt (the eternal sunshine of Harry styles story with Rob Sheffield)

1 August - Gucci fragrance campaign where Harry plays with a ring and leans his head on a blonde lady with a cat masks shoulder. This mask is vintage, there is a Tiktok of the guy who owns it. Taylor wore a similar mask in the LAWYMMD video and was filming cats. We don't know who's in the mask, Harris Reed is on the set and I wonder if it is her.

4 August - Harry shot Lights Up music video in Mexico

6 August - Harry in philli

19 August - stories that KK falling out was she threw a party in Taylor’s NY house

23 August - Lover released. Lover Video released with quite clear Haylor references. Taylor says relationship not up for discussion. in NYC Taylor poses next to a photo of One Direction backstage at a signing in Brooklyn New York.

29 August - Taylor films BBC Live Lounge in NY with emotional performance of London Boy, Lover, The Archer, I can’t stop loving you (Phil Collin’s), Holy Ground and YNTCD. Holy Ground and ICSlY are particularly emotional and Taylor talks about loving someone even if they don’t love you back and that she chose Holy Ground because it refers to NY.

2 September - Harry in London, then disappears for 10 days. Gucci Fragrance Campaign where Harry wore the Haylor Ring.

7 September - both at Ed Sheeran's wedding in a big top. Joe maybe there - Niall followed Joe 8 Sept; Joe back 21 Sept

9 September - Taylor records City of Lover in Paris. Live setlist #7 was DBAC and #13 was Style, also played Love Story, Delicate, ATW, Red, Style and Shake it Off. Joe in Toronto.

11 September - Blind that Joe wasn't able to talk about Taylor, about stilted showing at Favorite premiere

12 September - Harry seen in London and MIA till LAX on 17th

14 September - Joe and Taylor Rhode Island and fly to London

17 September - Harry private club Hollywood

24 September - Harry seen with Xander in LA

26 September - Harry Miami with Xander

28 September - Harry leaves Miami with Gucci Mickey Mouse suitcase.

29 September - Harry in London gallery with Georgia Ritz and her BF (Xander’s sister)

4 October - Matty Healy says he wants to produce Taylors record (said about Harry earlier the year) and went on to say 'that taylor swift song about supporting gay people, when it came out we already knew that."

5 October Joe hold hands at Taylors SNL appearance, Elle comments 'their version of PDA at least' which is holding hands. Do you know who you are starts. Taylor performs Lover at SNL, the arrangement is acoustic and slow, she's wearing green, with a green piano and green floor, walls and nails! The music sheets look like paper planes. False God also.

21 October - A Fashion designer said they met Harry at the Bowery Hotel

27 October - Harry goes on stage at Kasey Musgraves last concert, wearing an all black version of the Fine Line Outfit.

28 October - Taylor's tiny desk concert, her CD is still in the background for Harry's in March.

5 November - Harry announced Fine Line

12, 17 November - Harry in New York

13 November - Joe and Taylor Thai restaurant Hampstead

16 November - Watermelon Sugar released as promotional single. Harry with Xander NY

20 November - Harry filmed the cross walk concert

23 November Harry's Zane Lowe interview (SNL 16 Nov)

1 December - Taylor on cover of British Vogue

7 December - Harry performs at Capitals Jingle Bell Ball, London

8 December - Taylor performs at Capitals Jingle Bell Ball, London

11 December - Kendall and Harry on Spill your guts

13 December - Fine Line released, Taylor’s birthday, Harry performed it in LA that night Harry Styles ‘Fine Line’ Concert at Forum in L.A. – Rolling Stone. Photos of Harry in Japan released. Taylor also performed that night but at MSG NY, making of photos. Rumour Xander there. Taylor performs in NY for Jingle Bell Ball and tells Fletcher "She had mentioned to me how much she loved the lyrics [to Undrunk]. I nearly fainted and passed away at that moment." Undrunk is about wanting to be over an ex.

15 December - Taylor’s 30th birthday party in NY with all the famous people, tiny pupils and a cat face cake. Media says Joe there, but:

16 December - Joe is in London, not at Taylor's birthday

18 December - Cats premiere, Taylor has a swollen lip. Joe attends holds hands as they leave. Flakes answering about holiday plans. Joe does Christmas Carol interview where he says he jumps in Hampstead Heath Pond every year. What convenient cross marketing, the film is shot in Hampstead, Paper Rings refers to icy outdoor pools. I wonder if he ran into Harry there. Harry at BBC Live Lounge recorded Juice cover

31 December - Joe, Taylor and friends at Maldives for New Years, Harry first wore the But Daddy I love him shirt on New Years Eve video of him dancing with no shoes and tipped a bartender $2020 in Anguilla in the Caribbean

Continue in 2020

[insectsinsects]

December is always really vivid to me. I hadn't had a memorable July till this year but winter months seem to carry everything and more about a year. Maybe to it's detriment? It's overwhelmed with thoughts and greetings and travel and metamorphosis? I wonder if those guys who don't use the Gregorian calendar are forced to feel it too. Just the majority of people worrying and smiling and maybe it's a regular Tuesday for them?

Anyway 6 Decembers ago was my first Christmas away from home. I'd spent the summer carelessly and I was tired from boarding school. I think I've always been reckless and volatile, though I feel I am perceived as a stable element. Careless summer was spent driving around my hometown with a funny girl who I knew from choir and we were twitter mutuals. The brutal semester was spent with a person who'd patiently sit down with me and share the ways in which they loved physics. And of course, my parents came down and I hadn't been 4 months separated from them but I was used to their presence after 16 years so it was actually nice.

5 Decembers ago I was unknowingly allied with a future friend's enemy O_O She'd sit on my couch in my dorm and played the role of a wise confidant, as an upperclassman. I hope nothing was ever malicious but oomf did come to hate her next semester for fine reasons so? 😭 Her birthday is tomorrow, and I've always remembered that Saggitarian... And honestly by sometime that year I had begun avoiding physics person (on brand..) and I wrote a time capsule email about it (to myself in 5 year's time!) because I didn't have a blog and because I wanted to see if I could possibly get over it (I did!!!) I was a bit afraid of spotty wifi in the Philippines, so I submitted college apps 3 weeks early LMAO Victoria was waiting on a job offer from her boss who we'd come to learn was a little terribe, but that same night she was confirmed and moved to DC a week after we came back from that trip to the motherland.

4 Decembers ago?! I had met the newest crop of friends I was going to make. New York was so fun. Everything endless and memorable. Flying back used to be tough! They only introduced nonstop flights to Oklahoma like last year😑 But I flew out early and away from my beloved suitemates, my terrible roommate, my friends on other floors, classmate-turned-oomf, and so much more.

3 Decembers ago I'd been attending a different university since NYU was being stingy😭 OU actually treated me so well omg and my classes were fun. I guess by December I was wrapping up but I took a class on film music and I would joyously write an essay about some movie music each week and my professor just littered it with happy comments. I think she was glad I read the textbook and was enthused to learn. Also two weeks later, I got my whole head bleached and my hair was pretty long (not really, but Rapunzel-like to ME and probably if you've only ever known me with a bob/wolfbob). Also (2) I was in the Gensh*n pits (I don't want it in the tags...)

2 Decembers ago! My sister and her now husband were engaged and the three of us went on a mini-roadtrip to Dallas 😭 I like Garrett, he's like if a father figure was considerate... and Kathryn's got 17 years of light parentification on her belt ☠️ Garrett and I got XL Blizzards from DQ and almost died finishing them. Oh they also saw me get my roots done :O Barber cut it way too short but maybe it was cute. Junior year was so funny and cute💖 I worked hard and I was back home pretty late due to a stats final (Bombed)

Last December I spent my last week with my last set of randomized roommates and my friends! This was a funny time of year. I did a crazy amount that last week and in many ways it was a bender (Avatar in 4D cocktail☠️) but I do know oomf (yes you!) was the last person I saw. We played Minecraft on your Xbox after I obtained a second controller over Thanksgiving. We drank tall boys? I checked into my flight easily and I went home anxiously. I wonder if I could've seriously applied to school back then (Because it was lowkey not that serious lol) [actually I should be forced to reckon with my tantrums and the many times per week I was like IT'S OVER..] but I hadn't applied to school! And I was nervous to tell my parents that though I was a big investment, I was a failure. I cut my bangs too short on December 18 and hid it under a hat for a week till it grew a little more. I felt weird having red hair in Oklahoma, though it was cool to my contemporaries? My mom was sad knowing how much grief the thoughts were causing me. She told me I should rely on her more and talk to her. It's taken me all of the ensuing year to really be good about that advice. It's just easier to fail myself. I had tunnel vision— the potential for shame was only accompanied by a sense of pity and contempt. I genuinely couldn't believe my family would continue loving me. I drank with my dad so we wouldn't talk about anything real, and I painted with my mother to divert from the chaos.

[itachimarvin]

Hi,

Turning 25 this month at naalala lang kita. Mas maganda kung ipllay mo yung song habang nagbabasa hahaha. Theme song ng first movie date natin, na almost nag end tayo sa same ending ng movie. Ikaw palagi naaalala ko sa song na ito.

Alam mo ba nung 2017, ikaw yung wish ko sa birthday ko noon. Kahit alam kong wala akong pag asa sayo, kasi nakita ko na yung standard mo nuon sa guy. Palagi pa naman ako malungkot nuon kasi alam kong may gusto ka ng iba. Palagi ako nakacheck sa mga stories mo, at talagang umiyak pa ko sa selos nung nakita kong may nagregalo sayo ng stuff toy na pagong. Sabi nila, kumpletuhin mo yung simbang gabi, yung isang iwwish mo, panigurado matutupad yon. Kinumpleto ko yon kahit magisa lang ako nagsisimba. At ikaw yung wish ko noon. Nalaman ko din non na totoo pala yung kasabihan na yon, after ilang months nagawa kong mahalin mo ko. For 4 years, naranasan ko mahalin ng pinapangarap kong babae nuon. Una ko din naranasan mag mahal ng sobra. Nagkaron man ng ups and downs yung relationship natin, pero never ko niregret na minahal kita ng sobra. Palagi ko dadalhin yung memories na binigay mo, and palagi ako magiging proud na naging girlfriend kita for 4 years. Lahat ng sacrifices ko, at sacrifices mo sakin, lalo na yung mga paghatid ko sayo kahit gabing gabi na, nakadorm pa ko pero mas pinili ko umuwi para may kasama ka pauwi. Kahit pagod sa byahe, nakangiti parin ako. Never ko ireregret dahil atleast sa mga ginawa ko na yon, napangiti kita ng sobra, na naparamdam ko sayo na special ka. Naalala ko pa na talagang hindi kita matiis na hindi ka kakain, gagawa ko ng way para madalhan ka, kahit malate ako sa klase. Tapos ayoko kita palaging sinasama sa mga kablock ko kasi talagang pinagdadamot kita. Kaya akala mo hindi ako proud sayo. Yung mga puchu puchu travels natin, na puro mall lang at watsons ang napupuntahan. Tas yung ilang beses na kinabahan tayo dahil sa mga pinag gagagawa natin. At suking suki pa tayo sa square tuwing gabi. Yung unang punta mo sa bahay na akala mo kakainin ka ng buhay ng magulang ko sa takot mo. Minsan nakakatawa talaga pag naiisip mo yung mga ganong moments natin.

I'm sorry kung marami ding times na nasaktan kita, at para sa mga mistakes ko, kahit gaano tayo kasaya, hindi rin ako yung perfect guy, at sometimes, natutukso rin ako. kahit sa mga toyo mo nuon, hinding hindi ako nagsawa manuyo. Sana naging magandang memory parin ako sayo kahit sa mga draw backs ng relationship natin.

Siguro nga fully healed na yung puso mo ngayon, at masaya ka na sa current life mo at masaya ko para sayo. This time, bago mag end yung year magwwish ulit ako tungkol sayo, pero ayoko na maging selfish. Wish ko na sana, maging successful ka pa lalo, makuha mo yung pure hapiness na hinahanap mo, at makakuha ka ng perfect guy for you, eto yung winish ko nung Birthday ko, at sa darating na christmas. Sobrang sakit man sakin, pero I need to let you go. Para narin siguro saakin, na kahit papano maka move forward ako. Para narin hindi ako gabi gabi umiiyak bago makatulog. Never ako nagdelete ng messages at pictures kasi sinsave ko yon as memories. Pero baka kailangan ko ng gawin yon kasi mahihirapan lang ako lalo. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, nandito pa din ako. Sana basahin mo padin to, kasi sayang naman effort ko, naiyak padin ako habang nagttype. Hindi ko alam ano ba yung mas better. Gusto kita antayin ulit maging ready. Na matanggap mo ulit ako. Kahit bumalik ako sa umpisa, kahit gaano katagal. Pero naiisip ko rin na baka hindi na maging healthy yung ganon.

Sa totoo lang gusto ko na mag end ng buhay kasi hindi ko na kaya lahat itake ng sakit. Pumipigil nalang sakin yung gastos ng family ko kalag ginawa ko yon.

Im wishing you the best, Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita na mahal na mahal na mahal kita and I will always love you no matter what happens, kahit maputi na ang buhok ko.

Till we meet next time.

[cryptid-killjoy]

HC: Valerie’s Hallowed Autumn Favorite Season

Valerie is going to feel very thrown off this year. It’s the first year her whole family is not around to do the big family costume. As a matter of fact it starts to make her very depressed. When they moved here they waited till after just to do Halloween together. Christmas she could handle. Gifting was gifting. Feasting was feasting some meals. But this was her season. She watched as her son’s family did their own Feast of Orunmila together. This God of the season oddly enough has to do with leopards and she’d invite Tray over. That would perk up her spirits a little that they had a friend so close in kind what would honor this God’s attributes. But, it was hard for her to get so deep into her favorite season and deities that meant so much to her without the rest of her family. This was seriously the first time it hit her hard. 

It would start in September though. It always truly started on Marie’s birthday to them. The start of all the season’s festivities. 

September 10: Birthday of Marie Laveau

September 24: Feast of Obatala

September 29: Feast of Eleggua, also Initiation Day

September 30: Feast of Shango (Must serve some spicy foods on this day, and if you can drink but don’t get too drunk.  It’s also a good day for sparring, demos, and/or wrestling matches.)

She watched as the campers got all Avatar-ed up, her sister Brigitte looking all blue and somehow sexy. Flotsam was usually the lead in such a decision and everyone else followed. Brigitte did good. But it felt weird to participate from afar even if she went blue too. It wouldn’t feel the same without everyone around to wild on the town with like how they went rolling down the streets Mad Max style all apocalypse in a giant stampede. She felt small there in New Zealand. She loved her family, but this was the one holiday where it all came together. She started to tear up a lot in private, in the shower, things like that. 

So by the time October hit it all hit hard for her especially as it neared it’s end towards the day of the dead. 

October 4: Feast of Orunmila

October 24: Feast of Erinle

Halloween 31 🎃 🎃 🎃

November 1-2: Day of the Dead 

She watched Dale seem lost completely unable to choose for himself without family around out there in Peru. The Kuzpin family always had a way of doing their own thing even if they participated in theirs, and Dale wasn’t with his twin, he wasn’t with the kiwis. He was straight up lost all season saying his silent honoring prayers to whatever Gods he knew it was time for when the days would pass by all on his own without much celebration the whole month long. This broke her heart. She could tell he wanted to but simply didn’t know how without that guided hand he was used to. 

Scout had school parties and clubs with themed get togethers too, so there was plenty of Halloween themed this and that which Valerie got her spirits perked up for here and there when it came to Scouty. Those new type things she’d never done before had a way of helping. Scouty came up with something new and creative for each one too. Less invasive and dangerous as her Halloween with Tray but she was allowed to be herself for that night. No way Valerie was taking that away from her. Let’s just say there were lots of beards involved. Forest Gump. Noah’s ark. If there was a man with a beard somehow Scouty found it and became it. She was legend for that sort of thing and New Zealand would never be the same for it either. She kept it coming never losing steam. 

When it came to the Feast of Erinle one of her personal favorites where she gorges herself on Swedish Fish in his honor. The whole family usually does.  Patron of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and the transgendered a androgynous God Valerie’s quite fond of. She’s going to find her joy in really trying to educate Thomas this year on who all these Gods are and what each one is really about even though he’s not quite that guy. He married in and hope his interest stays keen. She gets all this weird dejavu doing this kind of sharing having been married before and attempted to share with someone, truly share what it all means to her, not just saying it like a history lesson becomes strangely triggery because they’ve tried it before and it went well over their heads. The way Thomas read novel after novel with them they seemed to pay attention and actually soak it in though. At least it seemed so and Valerie would lighten up again. Every time she felt a reason to feel crappy she’d get perked up again. That’s how the season would go and she’d start to realize she had no real reason to feel crappy after all. She just missed her family. 

She even painted Thomas up one day while he wore the necklace. She wanted to feel like Flotsam got to have a moment in the season too. It was his season damn it. She wanted to paint his face at least once. 

Valerie won’t be able to stop herself from working that belly for one night of her own face painting. She’s going to go with a half and half feeling the call of who she wants to be so stuck in the middle right now. Being the artist she is that’s going to come out expressed in costume with the baby popping out the bump ready to trick or treat now while she’s half human and part wolf, a little torn apart. She is so ready for this to happen. 

When it came to the big family costume it came down to her, Thomas, and Scout, just three, and this got her a little sad again. She thought about inviting GoGo in. Nothing felt quite right. She wanted her people. Then as she sat there pouting dipping some left over Swedish Fish into a jar of Nutella and rubbing her feet across all the fuzzy sled dogs under that kept bounding around on the floor it hit her. She looked over at the piano where Thomas happened to be playing just like Roger on 101 Dalmatians. She started laughing. That was it. Her family was right there to dress up. All of them. So she got up and dressed Willy, Wanker, Dug, and every new sled dogger still awaiting perfect namesakes as Dalmatians. She put them all in sweaters with spots. Spots, spots, everywhere spots. 

Then she found one of her pin up dresses that was long enough to go over her belly with a high waist that would be perfect for Anita. Valerie was a pin up version of Anita and she would beg Thomas to be her Roger. One might think Scout would want to be Cruella, but nope. She wanted to be the maid to make up the one big happy family. Dressing up all the dogs now that they had so many really helped cheer Valerie up and made Halloween feel like family Halloween. All was right with the world after all. 

It would be made even better by the time Zeke and Chess popped in to give them wishes and Caim and Jules and Death at some point too. She’d adore it all.  She really needed that wolf pack. They made everything just right, a big mess of chaotic family all dressed up silly just the way she liked it.  

In the very end Dale would actually take black and mark a spot around his eye and dab a few random spots on himself. He wouldn’t make ears or anything fancy. But Valerie would know when she saw him in the mirror it was him trying to be part of their pack even from far away. It would touch her heart so damn much. But, that’s all he ever really did costume-wise. A few black spots and wouldn’t explain himself to a soul. Maybe the Kuzpin’s would figure it out when they had their video chats with the kiwis though. They knew him like a book anyway. 

[heart-0f-black]

December 21, 2023

So my birthday was exactly one month ago and here is how my life has been so far as a 15 year old, trashy. I also realized I haven't told you guys much about me so here I am.

I'm still not gonna tell anyone my name and I am 15 years and 1 month old. I am transgender and in the closet. I live with my parents and most of the time my brother when he isn't away at school 40 minutes away. I have a dog named Flash, he is a rat terrier and jack russell mix, and yes he is named after the DC superhero. I have a boyfriend. Our 4 month anniversary is in a week. I am a freshman in highschool and have a decent sized main friend group and am in many others.

This will be my first Christmas without my Grandpa, he died the day before my brother's 19th birthday, 03/31/2023 at 16:49. That is military time for 04:49pm. My grandma misses him very much. We had to move her to a retirement(?) home not to long after he died. We're gonna sell the house soon and my father doesn't seem to care cause him childhood home is back in Ohio but I can tell he still doesn't want to let go of the house.

Today during passing, between 5th and 6th, somebody pulled the fire alarm. (I would share more I am currently in 6th and the only reason I am able to write this is because my teacher postponed our test till tomorrow which sucks because it's the last day before winter break) nobody know who did it or if it was even on purpose but it was a experience that's for sure.

I am in my school's drama club and we are doing a small play between our fall play and spring musical. It's for the kindergarteners and first graders. We're doing Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook. I'm playing Jim/Mitten Crook/Grandpa Frank Miller/Choir. Normally we'd have more people on cast but it's a small play so people didn't care to audition and there was a perfect amount of people who did audition so it worked out perfectly.

I know nobody will read this since it's longer than my first post which nobody read, but it feels nice to just talk about my life even if it's only the mediocre parts.

Yrs always...

[baptistsuicidewidow]

O Unde Esti

Today I spent some time cleaning out the van while Isaiah slept in between church services, and I found Jeremiah's stack of CDs. I of course kept every single one of them, and I scoured high and low for the CD he said got misplaced. I almost gave up hope until I found the name of a song in Romanian that I had loved the most on the back of one of the empty CD cases. Although it was an empty CD case, I had more info to find the music online.

Now I have all the songs downloaded and ready to put on a new CD for Isaiah and I to listen to for awhile nonstop again.

This CD warms my heart more than I could've imagined.

Jeremiah and I were listening to this CD from Thanksgiving till the CD got lost around February. I remember how cold it was outside, with my husband braving the roads taking us to and from church... Although it was cold outside, we were toasty in the car, us 2 and the 4-7 month old baby. The cheery sounds of the accordion, the percussive sound of just the pick on the strings, the two happy Romanian guys who capitalized on familiar harmonies the entire album... I fell deeper in love with Jeremiah with this music.

I began searching online for an accordion I could afford to give him for Christmas, since he had never had one of his own and I knew he would FREAK OUT if he got one... I imagined him playing it while the kids and I happily listened throughout the house...

I started learning Romanian, so much so that I needed to stop myself, since I was getting way too carried away with the leaderboards on the Duolingo app.

We really had a great winter last winter. We were excited about our new church (Faith Baptist), being parents to such a cute baby, optimistic as ever, and we were happy. We had a wonderful Christmas, New Year's, Valentines... All while listening to Daniel Si Marcel.

So I am so grateful to have found this today. It's nearly impossible to feel sad when I listen to this music, since it brings me nothing but wonderful memories with Jeremiah.

Recently, I've been replaying the 3 or 4 bad nights WAY too many times in my mind. In the sermon tonight, Pastor Clark was going through Ecclesiastes 3, and he pointed out that there was "a time to kill.... A time to kill negative thoughts that are bringing you down." I just loved that. That's what this CD is going to help me to do this winter. It looks like Isaiah is going to have random Romanian verses memorized before he is 2 lol. Jeremiah was such a dear-a trick psychology test even put forth that I saw him as my slow loris. A highly unique animal that most people haven't even heard of... But having an adorable side that is unmatched by the vast majority.

I digress. I'm going to miss my Slow Loris until I get to heaven.

O unde esti means Oh where are you?

It's all so fitting. O unde esti, Jeremiah?

[captainmdhridoyhossain-blog]

[ad_1] It’s that point of 12 months once more, when each and every division retailer, radio station, and lodge foyer is stuffed with Mariah Carey’s vocals. Even if I'm satisfied that the Black part of Mariah Carey is getting her cash, it may be grating. Sure, I do need so much for Christmas, Mariah! Along with in need of to by no means listen that tune, I additionally wish to prevent listening to those 5 words that make me want I may take my ears off and put them in my handbag till the New Yr.1. “Are you seeing any individual?”Let’s see.I'm flirting with one individual that I don't have any long term with, as a result of we’re each bored and want validation. I'm main on 3 other folks in my D.M.s. I recently have fifty-four unanswered messages on Hinge, which I delete as soon as per week to disencumber garage on my telephone. I'm nonetheless in love with my ex.So, yeah, should you mix all of the ones, I'm utterly seeing any individual.2. “You’ve received weight.”Yearly my circle of relatives loves telling me data that I already know. Yeah, I used to be the only purchasing the meals! I am getting it!Perhaps it's essential to congratulate me on having a financially good-enough 12 months that allowed me to reserve in such a lot of foods. Perhaps my new antidepressants suppose that I’d be happier if my booty gave me a spherical of applause each time I took a stroll. Or perhaps it's essential to simply thoughts your individual trade, and as a substitute fear about your creepy husband and why we need to put on “suitable clothes” round a grown guy.3. “New rap track isn’t as nice because the outdated stuff.”Should you don’t understand how to search out the beat, simply say that! Should you’re white and you wish to have Black folks to suppose you’re cool as a result of you already know about Wu-Tang, pass chunk on a couple of denims, as a result of we don’t care!Concentrate, the whole lot isn’t for everyone. That is why there may be this kind of huge array of track. I blast Younger Thug and Luther Vandross and “Bizarre Al” Yankovic in my automotive. I am getting peculiar appears from folks old and young, and bet what? I’m proud of it.4. “I’m no longer vaccinated, however you continue to wanna come over?”No, thank you. In truth, you don’t even deserve the “thank you.” No, I don’t wanna come over! I don’t wish to be accountable for a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja pressure. And there's no dating nice satisfactory or intercourse nice satisfactory to justify dropping my sense of style.I do know there are lots of explanation why folks of colour must be hesitant about taking the rest the federal government endorses, particularly for the reason that vaccine radio advertisements that they’re the usage of to focus on our communities are tremendous bizarre. I believe I heard one the opposite day that used to be, like, “We’re providing 5 hundred greenbacks and 2 Jordans should you get the vax.” What is that this? A back-to-school giveaway?I were given pricked in April, and the one aspect impact I’ve skilled thus far is having to enter paintings.5. “Individuals are simply too delicate at the moment.”Are they delicate or bored with being the butt of your jokes? Are they delicate or making amusing of you for being dumb? Hmm . . . possibly you’re the person who’s delicate?Perhaps persons are simply extra empowered to talk up about stuff this is improper. I imply, no longer simply morally improper however factually improper. Every so often it is helping to do a Google seek prior to talking.No person requested you why you’re nonetheless protecting directly to that cul-de-sac of hairs across the fringe of your head, so give folks a damage. [ad_2] #Christmas #Ill #Listening to

[the-shining-river]

Defenders & TP S1 timeline

The Defenders were filmed from Nov 2016 till mid-March 2017. The Punisher S1 was filmed 3 Oct 2016 - 9 Apr 2017.

In the beginning of TP S01 we see that Frank finishes his vendetta against the Kitchen Irish by killing that last guy in airport bathroom  stall on 19 Apr 2017, judging from the props boarding pass, but that seems to be a mistake, so let’s say it’s 19 Apr 2016. And then it’s “six months later” when Pete Castiglione is working construction.

From what I understand, it’s sort of official that the events of The Defenders and The Punisher S1 take place more or less at the same time in the end of 2016. Since Karen is in both, I tried to figure out that “more or less” part, and I think The Defenders take place some 2-4 weeks after TP S1, but it’s a bit of a mess, so whatever, I’m comfortable with this as a headcanon, not necessarily proven truth.

Some sources say Defenders take place “a few months after Daredevil Season 2 and Luke Cage Season 1 as these two overlap”, and I haven’t seen Luke Cage series, but DD S2 ends at Christmas and The Defenders starts in autumn, so that’s definitely more than “a few months”. Reddit people also figure that Luke must have spent some 6 months in prison, placing Defenders some 6m after Luke Cage S1. Karen seems to have settled in comfortably in her reporter’s job at the Bulletin and when they catch up, it feels like she and Matt haven’t seen each other for quite some time. Matt seems to have settled in his pro bono lawyer career. When Matt and Foggy meet up at Josie’s, Foggy says “It’s been a long time, Josie, can’t tell you how much I miss this place,” so that also makes me think it’s been more than “a few months”.

(Doesn’t quite explain why boxes with N&M files are still living in the middle of Matt’s living room, not piled up by a wall and out of the way.)

The “two months” claim seems to stem from how Elektra was apparently resurrected two months before the start of The Defenders, but the only reference I noticed actually just says “months ago”?

Also, considering how Matt destroyed the Hand’s blood harvesting operation in DD S2, I’m willing to assume they resurrected Elektra soon after her funeral, before the blood hit its expiration date, and apparently Elektra either recovered more slowly than implied in the show, or she’s been busy for months, not just some weeks (in line with how Danny and others recognise having fought her in different locations all over the world).

Judging from the bill of lading Jessica stole in E2, the architect received his box of explosives on 15 October.

People have even managed to decipher the date in Jessica’s computer in E1, which is apparently some day in November? 1st? 3rd? Single-digit something. I can’t make it out, but it sounds reasonable and kinda in line with the weather we see in The Defenders (although the first episodes feature some rather golden, leafy trees, so who knows).

However, Karen has no forehead injury from the hotel bomb in TP S1, and if this was mere weeks after TP S1, she would still have it, considering how it took a while for her Schoonover car crash injury to heal in DD S2. She does seem okay though, the way she might be if she knew Frank survived the carousel shooting and is in the wind, but alive and okay.

If The Defenders took place first, I think Karen in TP would have been much more raw and emotional over Matt’s recent death. But it would explain why Frank didn’t even consider finding Matt too, when he was going through his “short list” of people who knew he’s alive. But maybe he finds Matt too annoying and decided that getting Karen’s help would be more constructive than knowing what Matt might or might not have said.

(However, if TP happened first, would Matt have managed to stay away and not try and stop Lewis blowing up innocent people and threatening Karen?)

People have noticed that in TP the Empire State Building is lit up in red “in honour of Daredevil’s sacrifice”, but we see it lit up red already in The Defenders E6 when Elektra just kidnapped Danny:

And this is the same Empire State Building at the end of The Defenders:

(and in real world, apparently it was lit up red during the filming period on 14 Feb 2017 for the Valentine’s day, so it’s some kind of filming schedule thing; also, it doesn’t make sense for a corporate Manhattan building to commemorate a Hell’s Kitchen vigilante?)

So, to sum up, it’s a mess, but I’m willing to go with a headcanon that TP S1 happens a 2-4 weeks before The Defenders, when Karen and Matt are still estranged, with Matt trying his best to keep on the straight and narrow as only a pro bono lawyer and with Karen feeling lonely but not exactly devastated like she would be after Matt’s death in Midland Circle.

[qursidae]

2023 update

Hi yall ! Here is some news for 2023 ! Under a read more for easy reading (:

Just before Christmas I decided to take a break from college till summer, as I've been unsure about my major, and I feel frustrated not having enough time to work on my art ):

Which means !! For the next approx. 8 months I'm totally free to focus on my art ! I've saved but just enough for basic living expenses for the next 6 months, but I'm probably gonna need to find a part time job to cover the rest.

I'm sooooo looking forward to almost complete focusing on my art this spring ! I'm gonna draw everyday (':

I've all kinds of things planned ! such as:

Practicing fundamentals ! I wanna do figure studies again, and practice light and all kinds of stuff

Finally make my mermaid comic for real !! Maybe in time for mermay ? otherwise summer

Join more challenges and do more art memes ! The first one will be the Meet the Artists one !

Write/draw and present more lore stuff for both Out of the Hunt and Midday Coven !

Including setting up carrd pages with info on each world ! with character pages

Play more of the games I want, including replaying and make more RPG profiles for my characters ! and Presenting my new ones ! (Like kotor2, oblivion, fallout 4 maybe, and starfield when that comes out !)

and I would also LOVE to know what you guys wanna see from me this spring/summer ? If you are willing to share I would love to hear it (:

I also wanna do more polls for you guys to help me decide stuff I'm gonna make (Thinking of doing a poll on which ship I should use a a ship meme next, p soon !) but because tumblr doesn't have a poll function, please vote on either my deviantart or twitter !

I'll also be raising my commission prices just a little this year (around $5), sorry yall ! But since money is extra tight now, the time I spend on commission will be worth more to me.

Again, happy new year ! and hit me up at any time if you have ideas / feelings on what you wanna see from me this year

[bothsidesnow2000]

Ahh late august not yet fall *gets really hyped up about christmas for some weird reason*

[hotch-stufff]

Kiss The Girl

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: angst, pining(lots of it), crying, arguing, but a fluffy ending, like super fluffy ending :)

Word Count: 3.7k words

Description: Hotch tries to deny it, but he's madly in love with you. He keeps getting this urge to just kiss you. Could it really be that easy?

A/N: not really sure what this is, but I was listening to that new cover of kiss the girl by Brent Morgan and I really wanted wrote this. It definitely took a turn i was not expecting, but I hope you guys love it as much as I do. :)

*Based off the song "Kiss the Girl"*

--------------

He loved you. It was no secret.

Everyone knew, everyone except maybe him.

Or maybe he did know, but he refused to accept it. He couldn't love you. It was wrong. But if it was wrong, why on earth did it feel so good?

There, you see her, Sitting there, across the way

She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her

He wasn't the best at sharing his feelings. He was good at locking them away, and throwing away the key. But you, you made that hard.

There was just something about you. It drew him in, and he was hooked.

Maybe it was the way you giggled when you were nervous. Or maybe it was the blush that tinted your cheeks when someone gave you a compliment. Maybe it was the way you showed Hotch the happiness he needed in his darkest times.

He wasn't sure, but he knew you were special. He was sure he knew exactly when these feelings had started. It was the night of Rossi's Christmas party.

You sat on Rossi's couch, laughing along with Morgan and Prentiss. They had made some very very inappropriate joke, that you just thought was hilarious. 

"Okay, h-hang on. I need a refill." You gasped out between laughs. You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing the wine before pouring yourself a glass.

"Hey." You nearly squealed as Hotch came in the room behind you.

"Jesus Hotch, could have given me a heart attack." He simply chuckled. "Yeah, laugh it up." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"I'm sorry." He tried to hide his smile.

"Yeah, you sound it." You walked towards him, giving him a soft smile as the teasing atmosphere faded. The room was empty, and you wouldn't be able to ever work up the courage again.

"Merry Christmas Hotch." You whispered as you leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. You pulled back, gave him a small smile, and walked back to the living room.

Aaron stood there, shocked. 

Why had you don't that? Why had he liked it? Would you do it again?

The questions repeated in his head, over and over. And he realised that a peck on the cheek wouldn't be enough. 

He needed a kiss, a real kiss. Even just one from you and he would be satisfied for life. But that, was an impossible dream. Or, so he thought.

And you don't know why, but you're dyin' to try

You wanna kiss the girl

Months had passed since then and he still hadn't gotten another kiss from you. 

You two had grown increasingly close however. You were practically inseparable. Always at one of your houses, talking, watching movies, eating. You name it.

Although watching movies was usually with Jack, and currently he was stuck on repeating the Little Mermaid.

"Miss Y/n?" He asked one night.

"Yes Jackers?" You asked, looking down at the small boy.

"Can we please, watch the little mermaid with daddy?" He begged. He used those puppy dog eyes and you were sold.

"Of course we can." You heard a chuckle come from behind you and you whipped around.

"Didn take you long to give in, huh?" Hotch questioned, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Oh shut it Hotchner. Go get the popcorn." He laughed and shook his head before walking to the kitchen.

Soon you found yourself wrapped up with the Hotcner boys. Jack was curled up on your lap, his face buried in your neck as he fell asleep.

As you and Hotch watched the movie, he snuck glances every couple of minutes. He couldn't get over how beautiful you looked. 

And you were holding his son, loving him like he could be your own. It filled Hotch's heart with love and affection.

And then that song began playing softly in the background

Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do

The lyrics spoke a truth that Hotch was desperately trying to avoid. 

But he didn't know how much longer he could go without telling you. In the moment he couldn't remember why he hadn't told you already.

Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her

It don't take a word, not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl

All he wanted to do was reach over and bring you into a kiss. Just a simple kiss. 

Just to feel your lips move together. Just for a second. He almost did. You had turned to look at him, and he leaned in slightly. His hand raising. 

But the shrill sound of his phone broke the trance. His hand receded before you could grab it. And he didn't kiss you.

You were filled with a disappointment that you couldn't explain. 

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my, look like the boy too shy, He ain't gonna kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, He gonna miss the girl

The music of the movie faded as a grim look replaced the carefree one on Hotch's face. 

"We'll be right in." He muttered out the words with disdain, sending you an apologetic look.

But you barely noticed, you were still trying to calm down the beating of your heart.

He was going to kiss you.

Did he feel the same way that you did?

All thoughts left your mind though as you felt Jack wake in your arms.

"Hey buddy." He looked up at you with the eyes he shared with his father.

"Do you have to leave?" Your heart broke a little bit at his questions.

"Yeah, bud. I'm sorry." He just smiled at you and burrows further into your chest.

"Its 'kay." He mumbled sleepily. "But we have to wait till Aunt Jess gets here so we can keep cuddling." Your heart swelled and your face lit up. Hotch was staring at the two of you, in awe. His son loved you so much. 

You looked over at him, a tear in your eye. He swallowed as he pushed his feelings aside, giving you a soft smile before getting up to get dressed.

He was screwed.

A couple cases later, and you were holed up in a precinct, everyone nearly falling asleep.

It was a bad case, a really bad case. And you were running out of time. The unsubs' latest victim only had about a day left.

But nobody could work if they were falling asleep. Eventually Hotch sighed and told everyone it was time to head to the hotel.

But of course, once there, there were only 4 rooms.

"I'm taking my own room. I'm old." Rossi said and grabbed the key before anyone could argue.

"C'mon pretty boy." Morgan grabbed another key, and walked off with spence.

"I'll go with Jj. Y/l/n, you good with Hotch?" Your face went bright red at Prentiss's words. But you nodded, looking anywhere but at Hotch. You couldn't say no, it would be too obvious.

"Y-yeah, that's fine." You all trudged to the elevator, Emily and Jj said goodnight and walked off once you reached your floor. You and Hotch walked in silence down the hall to the very last room.

He swung the door open, and you had to stop yourself from gasping. There was only one bed.

"I'll uh, I'll take the floor." You scrunched your nose at Hotch's offer and he couldn't deny how adorable you looked.

"Hotch, no. That will kill your back." You shook your head. "We can share. We're both adults, it's fine." You're not sure if you're convincing yourself or him. He just nods and gives a soft okay.

"Do you want the first shower?" He asked. 

"Um, no. I shower in the mornings." He nodded before walking into the bathroom.

Why was this so awkward? You guys were such good friends, this shouldn't be so weird. 

You pushed the thought aside before crawling into the bed and curling up.

Hotch walked out of the bathroom 10 minutes later in nothing but a towel.

Your eyes grew and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. He cleared his throat, and you looked up at his eyes.

"Uh sorry, forgot my bag." You nodded, looking away quickly. Too scared to speak. He quickly went back into the bathroom.

"Get a hold of yourself." You whispered to yourself. You weren't going to survive this case if he did that again. He joined you in bed soon after getting dressed.

Neither of you spoke, neither of you moved, neither of you breathed. It was completely silent.

After about 20 minutes of silence and trying desperately to fall asleep you spoke up.

"Hotch?" 

"Yeah?" His voice was hoarse.

"Um, I can't sleep." You turned towards him and he did the same.

"Neither can I." You sighed.

"How's Jack?" You asked, trying to bring up the mood, or to at least get rid of the awkwardness. It seemed to work because his face lit up at the mention of his son.

"He's good. He actually just asked if you could come over soon. He got an A plus on his spelling test that you helped him study for and he really wants to show you." You smiled as you listened.

"That's great! He was so nervous for that test." 

"Yeah, thank you Y/n for helping him." You grabbed his hand, squeezing gently.

"Of course Hotch. I love Jack." You muttered, and you fell into silence again.

But it was more content, more peaceful. Your hands stayed laced together, and Hotch's mind went blank as you started leaning closer.

Now's your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon

Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better

He started leaning in, his hand moved from your own to cup your face. But something switched in his mind. What was he doing? This was wrong. He couldn't let this happen. 

Your faces were inches apart when he pulled his hand away and scooted backwards slightly.

Look like the boy too shy

He ain't gonna kiss the girl

Your face fell, and his heart squeezed painfully.

"Um, we should go to bed." You were so confused. You thought that was it. It was perfect. He, he pulled away though. Why had he pulled away?

You could almost physically see his walls being built up.

Walls you had spent so much time breaking down.

"Oh, um. O-okay." You stuttered out, pulling back  quickly.

"Goodnight Y/n." He said softly, but you didn't respond. You were too scared you would cry if you did. 

You fell asleep faster than you anticipated, but maybe you were just that tired. 

He was gone when you woke up.

You thought everything might just go back to the way it was after that night.

But boy were you wrong. Hotch had completely pulled away from you.

No longer did he invite you over, or invite you to do paperwork in his office with him

You didn't watch movies, or go out to eat, or even talk about anything other than work. It was hell.

You tried, you really tried to get him to open up again, but it just didn't work. Nothing did.

It was to the point where he would be almost rude to you. 

The team was beginning to notice. And you couldn't hold back any longer. It was killing you.

You needed to talk to him, past this wall he had put up. You needed to know why he was pushing you away. You walked up to his door, knocking on the door.

"Come in." He said softly. You walked in, and his eyes stayed trained on the paperwork in front of him.

"Hotch?" He still didn't look up.

"How can I help you Agent Y/l/n?" He asked, his voice not wavering from professionalism. You shut the door behind you and walked forward, sitting in one of the chairs.

"We need to talk." He was taken aback slightly by the determination in your voice, but he sighed before setting down his pen.

"What is it?" He sounded almost annoyed, which just made you angrier.

"What the hell is going on?" You didn't mean to be so rude about it, but you needed to know.

"Excuse me?" 

"Seriously Hotch, we went from talking almost every day, to not speaking unless it has something to do with work."

"Y/l/n…" he went to stop you.

"No. Hotch please. I don't know what I did." You begged. "I mean you can't even use my name anymore." You whispered.

"This is very unprofessional." he wasn't breaking.

"Please Aaron. Don't lie to me." You tried his first name, and he had never loved his name being spoken more than when you said it. But he had to stop this.

"Agent Y/l/n. I'm sorry if our friendship was confus-" but you cut him off.

"We weren't just friends. You know that and I know that." He had the audacity to look confused. But he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Don't try to hide it how, You wanna kiss the girl

"Please Aaron, don't pretend, not with me."

"Agent Y/l/n! That's enough!" His voice was rising. 

He didn't understand why you couldn't just let it go.

"No it's not. I love you Aaron, I'm sorry. But I do. And it hurts so much that you are pushing me away!" Your eyes filled with tears and Hotch stood there, awed that you felt this way. But he couldn't let you in. So he took that final heartbreaking step.

"I don't love you." He whispered out. You had been standing and you took a staggering step backwards. 

"What?" Your voice was small.

"I don't love you Y/n." The lie was tearing him apart. Why was he doing this again?

Tears began falling down your face. You were upset and mad and heartbroken. And you were embarrassed that this man had this much of a hold on you.

"Fine." You sniffed. "If that's how you feel Agent Hotchner." He missed the way you said Aaron and flinched at the formal title. But this was what he wanted. "I apologize for the unprofessionalism." You turned to leave, but stopped when he spoke.

"Y/n…" His voice was small, strained. You wiped away your tears. When you looked back, his eyes were glossy.

But he didn't say anything else and you kept walking, slamming the door behind you. The bullpen silenced and everyone stared at you.

It was humiliating, but you walked to Rossi's office, your head held high.

"Rossi?" 

"Y/l/n, what's wrong?" He asked, like he hadn't heard the conversation through his shared wall with Hotch. 

"Can you please tell Hotch that I'm sick and I won't be in for a while?" Your voice wavered slightly, but you ignored it.

"Y/n-" he started, but you didn't feel like talking.

"Please Rossi?" You begged, praying he would just say yes so you could leave.

"Yes, of course." You nodded and thanked him before leaving. You slipped down to your desk and grabbed your bag. 

You didn't see Hotch standing in the doorway of his office, watching you as you left, tears silently slipping down your face.

Your teammates asked what was happening, but you just waved them off and left.

They all turned to Hotch, but he was already back in his office, his door slamming for the second time that day.

You wanna kiss the girl

A week passed, and you hadn't come back to work yet. Hotch wasn't sure what to do with himself. He hated what he did.

The team was confused, Rossi kept sending him angry glances, and your empty desk was haunting him.

And then, Jack asked that question. The question that broke him just a little more.

"Why doesn't Miss Y/n come over anymore daddy?" He had asked one night at dinner.

He didn't know how to answer. "Does she not love us anymore?" His eyes were big and glossy like he was going to cry. He decided not to lie to his son.

"Daddy made a mistake and Miss Y/n is just a little sad right now." Jack didn't understand what was happening, but he wanted to help fix it. His dad had been so sad these past couple of weeks and it made him sad. 

"Daddy, you have to say sorry! And you have to do what the song says!" Hotch looked at his son confused. What song?

"What song buddy?" He asked, pulling his son into his lap.

"You know, you have to kiss the girl!" He giggled like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"The little mermaid song?" He asked, smiling at his son's innocence. 

"Yes, remember, you and Y/n were sitting on the couch before you left for work, and you were going to kiss her!" Hotch looks shocked, Jack was awake for that?

"Um, buddy. Me and Y/n aren't together." He sighed as his son deflated.

"But why? You love her. And she loves you." He spoke, confused as to what was happening.

"Um.." Hotch drew a blank. He couldn't give this little boy an answer. Not when it was his fault. Not when he was the one that had said no. 

It was a mistake, a huge mistake. He should have just told you.  Why hadn't he?

He should have kissed you.

The first time, or the second time. He should have told you that he loved you too. Was it too late? 

"Um, buddy, you know what? It's time for bed." Hotch put his son to sleep and called Rossi, asking him to come over.

He prayed he wasn't too late. Rossi showed up at his door 20 minutes later.

"Hotch-" but he knew.

"I know, I'm an idiot. But I have to go tell her I love her too." He was rushing, grabbing his keys.

"Atta boy Aaron." Was all Rossi said as Hotch ran out the door, jumping in his car.

He was sure he was going faster than the speed limit, but he couldn't care less. He needed to see you, and to be with you. To tell you that he loved you.

His car was barely parked when he jumped out and ran up to your door, banging on it.

You heard the noise wondering who would come over so late. You were shocked to find Hotch there as you opened the door.

There, you see her, Sitting there, across the way

She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her

"Y/n." Was all he said. You slammed the door in his face.  He began banging his fist in the door and you threw it open, again.

"Leave Hotch." 

"Please, Y/n, just hear me out." He begged. You hesitated, but moved to the side letting him in. You shut the door softly.

Yes, you want her, Look at her, you know you do

Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her

"What do you want, Hotch? What more could you possibly want?" He shook his head, holding his tears at bay.

"Aaron." He spoke quietly.

"What?" 

"Please, it's Aaron." 

"Agent Hotchner. You need to leave." But he didn't leave. He stood there and stared at you. 

"I'm so sorry Y/n." 

"Hotch, seriously, I can't do this. I can't." You tried to keep those tears in, you were tired of crying over him, but there was no point. You felt then slip down your face.

Words weren't working, he had already said enough. But he remembered Jacks words. 

The song.

Now's your moment, Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better

She don't say a word and she won't say a word, Until you kiss the girl

He stepped forward and brought his hand up to your face. He leaned in slowly, and brought your lips to his. 

Your heart stopped, and you kissed him back desperately. You had wanted this for so long. You had waited for so. Damn. Long.

"Your so stupid." You murmured against his lips. He pulled away gasping for air.

"I know" his voice was beautiful.

You've gotta kiss the girl, Go on and kiss the girl

He leaned in again, kissing you like his life depended on it. He gently ran his thumb across your cheek as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you forward. He broke away a moment later.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I was an idiot. I love you." A tear escaped his eye, and you brushed it away. "I dont expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me if I was you. I was awful, and I never should have lied and said I didn't love you too. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"Why did you?" He hesitated, he wasn't sure you would understand.

"The last time I let someone in my heart, she left. And then she got hurt because of me. I couldn't risk that happening to you." He shook his head.

"Oh Aaron. I'm not leaving. I don't ever want to leave you. I love you too much to leave." You paused. "And you can't hide and be scared to open your heart. Its okay to let people in." You added softly and he gave you a smile.

You both stood there in blissful peace, your foreheads touching. He chuckled and you looked at him confused.

"What?"

"I kissed the girl." You just grew more confused.

"What are you talking about?" You asked humor in your voice.

"The song. Jack said I had to do what the little mermaid song said." You understood then and began giggling. 

"Maybe, maybe you should do it again." You suggested, a smile on your face.

"Hmm, maybe I should." And he leaned in again for another breathtaking kiss.

.....................

"And that is how me and your dad got together." Your three kids sat in front of you listening in awe. 

"Wow, so Jack is why he finally told you he loved you?" Your middle child, Tommy asked. Jack laughed as he stood up, tapping your shoulder as he towered over you. 

"You could say that." Aaron said from the doorway, you turned, smiling at your husband. 

"Yeah, sure." You giggled and ruffled Jack's hair as you picked up your nine year old daughter, Jenna. Who, in all honesty, was almost too big to be picked up.

"Mommy, can you tell us that story every night?" She asked, and you smiled. 

"Of course I can sweat pea. But now, its bed time." You tucked in your kids, giving them each a kiss on the forehead before joining your husband in your room.

You plopped on the bed and curled up into his side.

"Hi sweetheart." He greeted you with a kiss, and he pulled you into his side. "You know, you didn't need to make me sound so…" he couldn't quite find the word.

"Stupid? Clueless? Dumb?" You asked, giggling as he began digging his fingers into your side, tickling you. 

"St-stop. Aaron!" You shrieked and he let up, but not before plopping on top of you. He began peppering kisses all over your face.

"I'm glad you finally told that story. Jenna has been begging for weeks" Your youngest had watched the little mermaid a couple of weeks ago and Jack had made a comment about one of the songs. Jenna had heard one word and was begging for us to tell her our "falling in love story", as she put it. 

You had finally given in and told them, and they had loved every moment of it. Jack of course had already known, having witnessed it. 

But Jenna and Tommy had loved hearing how their parents had fallen in love. 

And a week later when you walked in the living room you were filled with a sense of nostalgia as you saw Jack with Jenna in his lap, as Tommy and Aaron sat on the couch next to them. Watching, of course, the little mermaid. You plopped next to Aaron, smiling. 

As Kiss The Girl started playing.

--------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[lokisasylum]

At this point no one can tell me that everything that’s been happening around Jimin’s OST isn’t anything BUT sabotage.

💀- The way it was promoted (by the kdrama agency, not even Hybe) as a solo, but then 4 days BEFORE its release we learned that it was a collab/duet with his bff.

💀- The “fandom” spreading misinformation that the OST was fake.

💀- We didn’t get the title till the DAY BEFORE its release.

💀- The huge disadvantage in release time compared to others’ ost (11 pm release on a Sunday, 10 hour tracking period, 4.5 days bb tracking. ).

💀- Jimin’s spotify profile/page not being updated nor Verified or searchable in the first 48 hours. Didn’t even had a proper profile picture to the point that the OSt’s cover was used as pfp.

💀- When it FINALLY gets verified, 5 hours later it doesn’t appear to be again...

💀- “With You” hasn’t been added to playlists like “This is BTS” and other BTS related playlists (like the other member’s osts) which means 0 playlisting.

💀- The song wasn’t published as Kpop & Soundtrack (again, unlike the others), so it only appears in the Soundtrack Chart despite it holding the #01 Spot. Which means that if this isn’t fixed it might not be be added to playlists such as "k-pop rising", "k-pop daebak" and "new music k-pop" on spotify.

Again, 0 playlisting.

💀- HOURS after the ost was released suddenly there’s media articles about the issue with his apartment which happened ...4 months ago? The issue had by now been resolved, Hybe took the blame because it was THEIR FAULT for their shitty management of personal information (all while giving 3 different versions of the events).

💀- Sungwoon had been SO EXCITED to tell everyone about how the collab between he and Jimin came to be and during the first 24 hours constantly expressed his gratitude to his fans and armys for the support they’ve shown towards the song.

But soon after that he went QUIET and hasn’t appeared and neither has Jimin. No posts, no Vlives nada.

💀- Hybe out of the blue promoting S*ga’s collab with P/SY, that will come out this Friday at 6pm kst?? Videos and all from BOTH parts on how this came to be?

When all we knew from Jimin’s ost out of his own mouth was during that VHopeMin vlive ONLY BECAUSE the chat was filled with armys spamming it wanting to know about the ost and Hobi had no choice but to ask him..

And no, don’t gimme that bullshit that “jimin is a quiet guy” speech. This OST wasn’t some personal project like Christmas Love or Promise that ended up on Soundcloud (for FREE), this was an official OST for a huge kdrama filled with A-List Actors.

💀- DAYS ago Billboard posted an article about the bts performance at the granny awards using ONLY Jimin and JK’s picture. But now that “With You” dropped and has broken TONS of records (including Dynamite’s), they wrote NOTHING on it and instead wrote... about the apartment issue?

No because the whole article is a mess and made no sense like first they vaguely talked “about what happened” with a bunch of “maybes” (instead of facts) and then for some r*tarded reason they jumped to talking about the jikook vlive where they made the kimbaps and talked about it as if it happened a few days ago??????

💀- Oh but they had NO problem whatsoever making a whole article about “Producer S*ga’s upcoming collaboration with spy” on the SAME DAY (or when the others’ osts dropped and had their own achievements).

No, this is no longer a “human error”. It’s premeditated sabotage.

You don’t buy a shotg*n and 15 rounds of ammo as “precaution” only to go to school or workplace and sh00t your classmates/colleagues and then call it “self-defense” because they bullied you that day.

Lets stop sugar-coating bullshit and call it for what it is.

[P.S. Company Stans don’t need to engage, we know you worship Bighit/Hybe and think everything they do is all rainbows and butterflies no matter how many receipts you’re shown. And there’s no worse blind than the one who does not want to see ]