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December 21, 2023

So my birthday was exactly one month ago and here is how my life has been so far as a 15 year old, trashy. I also realized I haven't told you guys much about me so here I am.

I'm still not gonna tell anyone my name and I am 15 years and 1 month old. I am transgender and in the closet. I live with my parents and most of the time my brother when he isn't away at school 40 minutes away. I have a dog named Flash, he is a rat terrier and jack russell mix, and yes he is named after the DC superhero. I have a boyfriend. Our 4 month anniversary is in a week. I am a freshman in highschool and have a decent sized main friend group and am in many others.

This will be my first Christmas without my Grandpa, he died the day before my brother's 19th birthday, 03/31/2023 at 16:49. That is military time for 04:49pm. My grandma misses him very much. We had to move her to a retirement(?) home not to long after he died. We're gonna sell the house soon and my father doesn't seem to care cause him childhood home is back in Ohio but I can tell he still doesn't want to let go of the house.

Today during passing, between 5th and 6th, somebody pulled the fire alarm. (I would share more I am currently in 6th and the only reason I am able to write this is because my teacher postponed our test till tomorrow which sucks because it's the last day before winter break) nobody know who did it or if it was even on purpose but it was a experience that's for sure.

I am in my school's drama club and we are doing a small play between our fall play and spring musical. It's for the kindergarteners and first graders. We're doing Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook. I'm playing Jim/Mitten Crook/Grandpa Frank Miller/Choir. Normally we'd have more people on cast but it's a small play so people didn't care to audition and there was a perfect amount of people who did audition so it worked out perfectly.

I know nobody will read this since it's longer than my first post which nobody read, but it feels nice to just talk about my life even if it's only the mediocre parts.

Yrs always...

[heart-0f-black]

December 7, 2023

I don't have a name, at least, not one that anyone reading this shall know. I don't care what you call me. It couldn't be an insult I've never heard as I've heard them all. Well no, I think I have but in all honesty I haven't. I'm not exactly someone that people can get along with. I have issues both physically and mentally. Though you might not count the physical part considering they were mostly self-inflicted.

This whole idea started about a month ago when I felt like I couldn't tell anyone about what really happens even though I have so many friends, both old and new. I've always felt like I was on the outside. The feelings got better when my friend group split, and I was the only one left between them all, but as those loose ends meet once more I have to started to feel like I have no purpose once more.

I just turned 15 recently, November 21st to be exact. I know I shouldn't feel this way this young but I can't help it. I have depression and my doctor told me to see a therapist but my parents refuse to sign me up for one. Which is ironic because they were the ones who told me they thought I had depression like my mother. They claim I'm "getting better" which is a complete lie. If anything life has only been getting worse since I started highschool this year.

If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Yrs truly...