#3rd pic is pissing me off its bad

[bedforddanes75]

just been to this abandoned house and ????????? in awe

[hearmeoutno]

Stranger things season 4 re-write

I've never been so pissed at the ending of a series so imma rewrite it whether you like it or not. Imma add another character that's basically me in the 80s because I want to that's why. Euh so I hope y'all enjoy if I ever even publish this idk what imma do with this.

Please keep in mind that English isn't my first languages nor am I an American, so don't bully me aodkakdowod

A bit more explanation on how I'm gonna do this:

You'll be reading from my OC's p.o.v. in 3rd person, so imagine the narrator looking over the OC's shoulder and reading her thoughts (more info on her later)

I'm gonna rewrite certain scenes, so not the whole season

Because I stan this hc, Steve is bi, eddie is gay (I see that hanky Ed) but I'm not gonna write smut, a kiss at best, because I still think its cringe whenever I write it

I'm a gay fuck so guess what! Steddie and rovicky (idk the ship name but Robin and vicky)

I'm probably just gonna write about the Hawkins crew cause my OC will not be in Russia, Indiana and California at the same time for obvious reasons

Definitely putting in a lot of pop culture references

I'm gonna put in the timestamps of the scene I'm editing

My oc

Name: Mackenzie "Mack" Ryans (Ik the name sounds preppy but she is far from that, trust me)

Age: 19 (she had to double senior and just switched school, not rlly gonna write it down but theres context clues, or just think of your own reason, creative freedom)

Hobbies: playing guitar, D&D (she's not in Hellfire tho ik I'm sorry)

Interests:

Music: Queen, Kiss, other popular rock around that time

movies: sleepaway camp, slumberparty massacre, Texas chainsaw massacre, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, just all horror movies and obviously popular movies, especially grease

Other: she's a lesbian because we rlly need more queerness in ST

Here's a few pics of what Mack would look like, but I'm not going to expertly detail her look/outfit, so it's up to the imagination for most of the story:

Chapter 1: The Hellfire Club

(35:12)

"and even... Murder!"

As the geeks laugh at Eddie's expressive monologue, Mike and Dustin stand a few feet away from their usual table. For some reason they need to give eachother some sort of pep talk, but Mack doesn't give it any more thought than necessary.

"I don't understand why everything that doesn't fit in society's normal has to be bad or satanic! What about trolls and elves is so harmful that they might as well kill because of it?!" Rolling her eyes, she opens her lunchbox, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Society has to blame something. we're an easy target"

"Exactly. We're the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But," As Eddie slams a hand on the table, he gets up and on said table to dramatically exclaim his opinion "as long as you're into band or science... or parties" the nasty face he makes at the typical party-goers makes them snarl and throw him a nasty face back. But ofcourse, Eddie being Eddie can't help but raise his voice at that while looking over to the popular slash basketball slash asshole table.. "or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!"

Jason isn't the biggest fan of hearing the truth, at least not as long as it's against him, causing him to stand up and scream back a "you want something freak?". Like all people do who don't understand a thing about differences.

But oh does Eddie love pissing off assholes! He makes a *lovely* demon face, along with some questionable sounds before walking back off the table like a catwalk.

"Its forced conforming. That's what... killing the kids!" A girl walking by gets scared of his sudden screaming, causing her to gasp and walk just a little faster, all while the table chuckles at Eddie's usual antics.

Being the gentlemen he is, he bows to let some cheerleaders by before sitting back down saying "that's the real monster."

Mack looks up from her lunchbox she was previously laughing into, leaning over to the head of the table where Eddie was. "We still on for tonight? I rented Friday the 13th again."

Cocking his head over to Mack he softly whispers "I might have a deal so just wait behind the trailer if you see someone inside." Then sitting straight up, looking at Dustin.

"So, uh, speaking of monsters"

...

(1:08:00)

Mack is standing behind the trailer, waiting for Eddie to come get her. People always seem to think her and Eddie are together, but they couldn't be far from the truth. Just two homosexuals who like rock, horror movies and weed.

As she's standing there, waiting, she puts a cassette in her Walkman. It's one she recorded herself, with a mix of her all time favourites. Theres some Kiss, a shit ton of Queen, some Bowie, and here and there The Beatles.

She can't help but see some lights flickering out of her peripherals. first it didn't seem so unusual, it's a trailer on a trailer park so not exactly a mansion. But they keep flickering. Pausing the tape and taking of the headphones, she hears screaming

"Chrissy, wake up! I don't like this, Chrissy! Wake up!"

Ignoring the rules she and Eddie set, she goes around the trailer and opens the door.

"What the fuck is going on he-" when she finally did see what was going on, she wished she just stayed home. Chrissy was slowly levitating into the air, Eddie standing in front of her.

"I don't know! We had deal and when I found what she wanted i came back and she was just- Jesus Christ!" Right when Eddie was telling his story, she slammed against the roof of the trailers, Eddie falling down by surprise and Mack with her back against the now closed door.

As Chrissy's bones begin to snap, they both stare in disbelieve for a few seconds. Then they began screaming as her eyes start bleeding and get sucked into her head. Mack runs to get Eddie, pulling him out the trailer and running. Not knowing where to go, they sprint into the woods.

"What the fuck! What the fuck was that Eddie!"

"I don't fucking know but we need to get out of here! The moment they find her I'm dead!"

They keep running and the road doesn't seem to stop. Eddie leads them to a boathouse on Coal Mill Road, rushing to find a hiding spot for when the cops eventually find them. They settle under a tarp in a boat, it's a bit cramped but they'll get by.

"Remember that one scene in Nightmare on Elmstreet where Tina gets levitated off the bed and up the wall to get killed by Freddy? What if he's real?" Mack always tries to be the comedic relief, but all she can see when she closes her eyes is Chrissy's lifeless body pressed against the ceiling.

Her and Chrissy were briefly friends, if that's what you can call it. They helped eachother in maths at the beginning of the year, and that was about it, yet they still smiled at eachother when passing in the hallways. Chrissy was sweet, she was kind, she didn't call her a queer or a freak unlike her pathetic-excuse of a boyfriend.

"I don't know what that was Mackie, but it definitely wasn't good. I'm really gonna need to sleep on that, if I can at least. Goodnight..."

"Goodnight Ed". And there they were. Cramped in a small boat, under a tarp and scared shitless for what will happen to them in the near future.

Right before she fell asleep, Mackenzie realised she dropped one of the cassettes in her back pocket. You know, the cassette that blatantly says "property of Mackenzie Ryans, don't fucking touch" on both sides. Fuck.

____________________________

Wanna read more? Here's the other chapters I finished! Thanks for reading :)

(And yes, that one is longer than this one lmao)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: What it is, right, your twin left her coat at CG earlier & it's my neck if it's not back in her hands by me next shift Jimmy: pass it on Janis: Hmm Janis: Are you sure you've got the right person here? Jimmy: Grace Cavante is your sister isn't she? One of Janis: Unfortunately Janis: No doubt she'd rather you gave it to her yourself and that feeling is mutual, like Janis: Get a clue, lad Janis: couldn't be less obvious 'less she left her knickers Jimmy: Stop your chatting, a sec Jimmy: nowt's mutual that's why I'm asking you to get it, not her Jimmy: The resale's nowt either, I had a look Janis: You're in my inbox? Janis: Knew you were lost Janis: Poor Gracie, first you pie her then you call her cheap, gutted Jimmy: I've been round your family tree about 4 times Jimmy: Can't call myself lost Jimmy: You gonna grab this or nah? Janis: Unlucky, but I ain't gonna cry for you Janis: Wrong twin, again like Janis: What's in it for me? Already told me I can't flog it Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well I'd shout you a muffin but if you're anything like her, I'll be the one eating it when you don't & I'm watching my figure meself Jimmy: guess the pleasure of my company works if you are? Janis: Tell you ain't from 'round here Janis: No 🍀 Janis: Nothing like her Jimmy: sounds more like my luck's finally in Jimmy: got enough stalkers Jimmy: more than I've done shifts Jimmy: what you want then, other twin? Janis: Not that I doubt how special you are Janis: I completely do, by the way Janis: You get to thinking how you can make me having to fucking regale every detail of this frankly riveting convo to my sister worthwhile and I'll get to walking, yeah? Jimmy: You wound me, girl 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: I sought you out, whereas she's been in my inbox unread since my moving in date, that'd do for starters Janis: If the situation's a dire as you reckon, you'll have plenty consolation, boy Janis: Welcome Janis: State, honestly Jimmy: You're my consolation if you do me this delivery Jimmy: feeding me to the wolves in lipstick if you don't, basically Jimmy: 'ave it on your conscience if you want, mate Janis: Fucking Hell, if I start atoning for all her cringe or offering myself up as 'consolation' to every lad she makes a tit out of herself in front of I'll never get anything done Janis: Ugh, alright, brains, do your job for you as well, shall I? Just put your mate's number on her to-go 'stead of yours, yeah? Jimmy: alright but how many of 'em are coming to you direct for help, I'm making myself look as much of a tit here, aren't I? Jimmy: brutal you Jimmy: newbies don't have mates to throw under buses Janis: Well, don't be fooled by how available I seem Janis: phone never stops, like Jimmy: I'll find another way then Jimmy: if you stop by for coffee I'll misspell your name like we never chatted, don't worry Janis: Barista bants, how cute Janis: Whatever, it's on my route, I can get it tomorrow AM Jimmy: what you prefer, Janet or Janice? Let me know Janis: 😑 Janis: If you want my sister to ride you, keep on taking the piss, she'll love that, like Jimmy: if you want me to be nice to you, keep using your sister for that A+ excuse Jimmy: 'cause nah, there's nowt more appealing than her getting on her bike Janis: Ha, fuck off, you're the one with a tips jar and manager to keep happy, dickhead Janis: I'm not saying she's not fussy, I'm just saying it might take me several cups of coffee to give you enough 3rd degree burns for her to be #overit Jimmy: funny Jimmy: & im just saying I'd rather give me ex a bell & have her do her worst ruining my life long distance Janis: Worth a shot then, isn't it? Janis: Just try and be less Janis: this Janis: she might reckon you're a changed man Jimmy: is it gonna change your sister's mind about me if I do? Jimmy: 'cause her mates have homewrecker written all over 'em Janis: It was a poor choice of friendship tat, yeah but they ain't the brightest, bless Janis: idk, probably help if the girl was real, mate Jimmy: she is real but shes also real far away Jimmy: & really hates me Jimmy: that's mutual unlike the attraction your little twin is harboring 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: fuck someone here then, ain't gotta be all 💕 just look enough like it that they write you off their hit lists, yeah Jimmy: proper romantic you Jimmy: I'll go back to the drawing board if its all the same Jimmy: don't need another lass falling for me, do I? Janis: 🙄 Janis: If I had such an easy out, I'd use it Janis: fucking blood ties, such bullshit, along with romance but there we go Jimmy: Easy? yeah alright, Juliet Janis: Not saying you've gotta off yourself with the poor bitch, steady on, though peak 💘 so it is Janis: You're either a 😻 magnet or you ain't, can't have it both ways Jimmy: I just wanna be left alone Jimmy: shouldn't be a lot to ask but until I master leprechaun for fuck off, it apparently is Janis: Preaching to the choir...nah, fuck that, preaching to the big man himself Janis: You work it out, you've got my details now you fucking stalker so hmu then and not before k Jimmy: you know the saying, get stalked enough, become fucked off enough by it to become the stalker Jimmy: or summat Janis: Tragic Janis: No doubt you coulda been something, kid Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: still could Jimmy: if you help me Janis: I don't know how to make a latte, soz Jimmy: not a requirement of dating me, and yeah, my boss is gutted Janis: you what? Jimmy: go out with me Jimmy: you said yourself it don't have to be a love story Janis: um yeah but you should both at least be somewhat into it, ideal world Janis: know you already called me out as the romantic here but Jimmy: nah, you're what I need Jimmy: I won't get tempted Jimmy: keep it easy, like you also said Janis: 🖕 Janis: Like I said, show me how it's worth my time and I will Jimmy: your sister would hate it Jimmy: not like I'm asking you to marry me, you look enough like her that'd be like asking myself to honeymoon in Vietnam Janis: You're a cunt, also, obviously not well-traveled Janis: say what you like Janis: it would be amusing to piss her off and I'm always up for finding new ways Jimmy: so you in? Jimmy: 3 date minimum Janis: You mean I actually have to spend time with you? Jimmy: as long as people think you are, do what you want Janis: Fill your boots Janis: but don't just be saying I let you finger me on your lunch break, like, that isn't working on anyone, least of all my sister and her stupid mates Jimmy: come get your sister's coat and we'll make the magic happen Jimmy: coupley pics and #s will work Jimmy: all they do is sip & scroll Janis: How magical can you really be, then? 😏 Janis: Fuck it, worth it just to piss her grafting you down the drain Jimmy: I'll fake rock your world, Jasmine Janis: Sure 👌 Make me forget my name half as many times as you have and you'll have fucked enough brain cells out to make me a thick Northern twat, clearly Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: hope you're a better actress than you are sweet talker, love Janis: That ain't the one, fucking hell Janis: pick a better petname if we ain't taking time to remember Jimmy: let me know what you want me to call you Jimmy: Baby, right? I bet you're one of them girls Janis: 😒 Hilarious Janis: My daddy issues are pretty non-existent, soz to report Jimmy: what then? Jimmy: Can't call you Juliet if you aren't ride or die for me, darling Janis: I'm remember your unfortunate accent now Janis: it's probably best you don't speak Jimmy: strong, silent type Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: It's your fantasy, kid Janis: Big yourself up however you gotta Jimmy: fantasy? nah Jimmy: necessity Janis: You've not gotta warn me Janis: Not swooning over this chat Jimmy: 💔 Janis: We're all gutted Janis: push that down and smile for the 'gram Jimmy: 😁 Janis: That's the spirit Jimmy: I know yours is more 😏 Jimmy: control yourself if you can, Jenna Janis: Make no promises to control myself so Janis: 👊 behave or deal Jimmy: make one or its off Jimmy: your sister & his mates break enough of my boundaries Janis: If the problem is they're swinging for you, I'm gonna go right ahead and victim blame Jimmy: probably keep that off the 'gram, girl Janis: We laying down ground rules here and now, yeah? Jimmy: you got something else on? Janis: It's the Easter hols Janis: so no Janis: fuck all Jimmy: then may as well Janis: Alright Janis: No posting without getting the other's go ahead first Jimmy: done Jimmy: same goes for agreeing to go somewhere/do something as the power couple we're pretending to be Janis: 'Course Jimmy: & if you tell your sister summat let me know too 'cause she loves questioning me over her coffee Janis: Ha Janis: I do my level best to avoid her but easy Jimmy: you're not gonna brag about what a good boyfriend I am 💔 Janis: We'll have to work out how good you are first, like Jimmy: good enough that I'm off limits your sister & her mates Jimmy: no more no less Janis: Can do that Jimmy: don't fall in love with me for real, can you do that? Janis: 😏 Are you for real? Janis: Ego to go with the accent, is it Jimmy: just checking you're not like your sister for real Jimmy: could be protesting too much for all I know Janis: And this could just be a really bad come on for all I know Janis: we'll have to trust on this one thing, deal? Jimmy: Yeah Janis: Sorted Janis: Make me sound good, as I will be for you Jimmy: how good? Jimmy: nobody knows my dating history, what's yours? Janis: Likewise Janis: all you gotta do is make it realistic enough that people stop asking if I'm a dyke Jimmy: Easy Jimmy: Are you a take it slow girl or hook up on date 1 type? Janis: Won't be getting that graphic on the 'gram, leave it out Jimmy: But it won't stay on the 'gram, will it? Jimmy: People chat Jimmy: what reputation do you want? Janis: Probably better to not be a slag init Jimmy: but don't be keeping me waiting too long if you don't wanna sound gay Janis: alright, irresistable Janis: 2nd date, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I ain't, by the way Jimmy: Don't matter Janis: Does Janis: Who needs the pressure of being a beard? This ain't what this is, got it Jimmy: It'd be less pressure, probably Jimmy: you'd be better at faking it Janis: Sorry to disappoint you and all the girls 😒 Jimmy: if its the only time you're gonna, I'll cope Janis: Naturally Janis: Aim to please Jimmy: save it for the 'gram, Judith Janis: Reckon I'm being nice rn? Janis: Poor boy 💔 Jimmy: nice matters less than gay Jimmy: Don't wanna be your mate Janis: Good thing too, aiming to please here, keep up Janis: just saying, starting to doubt how 😍 they are now Jimmy: come see for yourself Jimmy: I'm working as we speak Janis: 😏 Wow so hot Jimmy: it could be if you're ready to kick this off Janis: Why not? Janis: Sooner we get it done sooner we'll see results Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Laters, babes Jimmy: Cute Janis: That's why you're with me Jimmy: I'm not yet Janis: You're gonna be salty 'cos I won't ride you in your hipster hangout today? 😂 Jimmy: I'm getting paid to be here, you're the one hanging out Janis: I'm picking up the bitch's coat, piss off Jimmy: You could do that when we close Jimmy: You're coming to see me Janis: You do this much? Janis: Suspiciously good at it Jimmy: Which bit? Janis: The bit where you fake a relationship Janis: Good tactic to get bare girls, like or what Jimmy: You're my first 💕 Jimmy: don't let it go to your head, Josephine Janis: as much as that'd get 'em throwing out the #goals Janis: secret's safe with me, boy Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't have to go to these lengths up north Jimmy: girls just get if you're interested or nah Janis: 💔 it's a shithole, mate Janis: didn't you get told before leaving t'mines Jimmy: must've had too much coal in my ears or summat Janis: Don't know what you got 'til it's gone Janis: interested and interesting bitches included, obvs Jimmy: not only a pretty face you Jimmy: got it going on in your head too Jimmy: lucky me Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: Better take back what you said 'bout the leprechauns now you're coming up 🍀&🌹 Jimmy: if you save the humble for the #s I'll think about it Janis: Never been accused of being humble Janis: I guess the gay or nay is more pressing Jimmy: never checked a mirror or nowt, neither? Janis: 'Course, gotta spot myself at the gym, ain't I Jimmy: you can agree you're pretty then Jimmy: not an ugly duckling story either Janis: What's it matter, like Jimmy: im not fake dating one of them girls Jimmy: hates herself but still takes selfies Janis: that's another rule? i'll be thinking on my next then Jimmy: Can't prop up your self esteem Janis: Don't worry 'bout me, fake worry or otherwise ain't necessary Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: all worried out Jimmy: fake & real Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: customer service deserves a pity orchestra Jimmy: alright for you, rich girl Janis: I'll hire one out for date three if you earn it Janis: so 💸 Jimmy: just gimme the money Jimmy: if this was a naff teen rom com, I'd charge per date Janis: If I was richer, older and lonelier, you mean Janis: and you were desperate enough to be a rent boy Janis: you'd actually have to put out though so let's not Jimmy: only if I wanted top money Jimmy: the in it for the chit chat option would be more than I make at CG Janis: Then I hope to fuck you're a better fuck than you are bringing it with the chat, darling, no one is paying for this Jimmy: I'm not trying to impress you Jimmy: pay me and I'll be charming Janis: I'm not trying to pay Janis: Not that hard up, but tah Jimmy: don't complain about what you get then Janis: You ain't telling me what I can and can't do, babe Jimmy: I'm telling you I'm not here to listen to you whinge, babe Jimmy: Get a real boyfriend for that Janis: Have you tried talking to any of my sister's mates Janis: I really think it'll solve this whole thing Jimmy: I talk to 'em every shift Janis: That's not real Janis: that's wage slave robotics Jimmy: neither is this Janis: Whatever, do this at them then Janis: However fit you are, it ain't worth all this Janis: though, probably had worse, hm Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: bad boy baristas are this year's...whatever last year's fad was Jimmy: whatever I say that's brutal I'm playing hard to get Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: 🤢 Ick Janis: last year's fad was the clap so like, careful Jimmy: I repeat, you're what I need Jimmy: nothing else has worked Janis: 😍 Janis: I said yes, didn't I Janis: it'll be sorted Jimmy: are you on your way? Jimmy: 'cause it won't be 'til then Janis: Keen Janis: Yeah, though, gimme 10 Jimmy: try and look like someone capable of getting my attention Janis: I'm not giving myself a shit fringe for you Janis: get some taste Jimmy: you don't know my tastes, Joanne Janis: I can guess Janis: and be right Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: try Janis: any bitch described in any indie song ever Janis: not like other girls 'cept like all the other girls at the shitty pub/gig drinking pints 'cos you'll think it's dead cool, like her tongue piercing and real leather jacket Jimmy: thats racist Jimmy: just 'cause I know all the lyrics to Wonderwall Janis: 😂 Janis: like glass, boy Jimmy: I hope you're better at pretending to know what I like Janis: I know I ain't wrong but you can have the automatic upgrade for free Jimmy: Funny Janis: What, now I'm TOO confident? Jimmy: Nah, too obvious Janis: Err, me or your lack of taste? Jimmy: you Janis: How Janis: Fucking cheek Jimmy: You've pulled the first cliche you could out of your arse Jimmy: is how Janis: I'm sooooo sorry Janis: sure she seemed really special and unique at the time Jimmy: I'm sorry that you're just like your sister Janis: Now who's chatting out their arse Jimmy: still you Jimmy: she don't know me either but she reckons she knows my tastes too Janis: and you don't know me, you barely know the bits of her she wants you to, like Jimmy: I'm not trying to even fake know you Janis: Mutual, hence idc what you fuck Janis: and it was a joke, fucking hell boy Jimmy: funny you Jimmy: like I said Janis: So you keep saying Janis: go do some work, i'm just killing time on the bus Jimmy: I'm working harder than you Jimmy: this chat is a slog without all the coffee I'm slinging between the lines Janis: Do one then? Save it for the 'gram, rule no.1 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what do you do that isn't shit coffee there Jimmy: drinks or food? Janis: Drinks Jimmy: shitter tea, tasteless milkshakes & minging smoothies Janis: 🙄 Joy Janis: if you can make the smoothie at least healthy as well as minging, do that Jimmy: I can make it taste alright if you keep that off the 'gram Janis: That's big talk, babe Jimmy: secret menus aren't just for starbucks Jimmy: I'm here all day I have to make some shit edible for myself Janis: Fair Janis: I'm willing to be impressed by the smoothie skillz at least Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: I'll be brutally honest, idc if you are bae Jimmy: calling me bae is more brutal Jimmy: hate that Janis: 😂 awh bae Jimmy: leave off, Jill Janis: hot and cold, you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell me 'bout it Janis: planning our fake breakup already Jimmy: Are you? Janis: that's the fun bit, right? Jimmy: make me look better than my ex did and it'll be a start Janis: i'll break your heart Janis: that's the reputation i'll take Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: steady Janis: 🤷 Janis: i want what i want boy Jimmy: you think you're having my heart? how many dates we going on? Janis: work fast Janis: faster than i'm letting you Jimmy: up yourself you Janis: rich 😏 Jimmy: yeah you are, don't rub it in, girl Janis: I ain't though Janis: like you said, her coat's shit Jimmy: means she's got shit taste not a lack of funds Janis: You can't be rich with 10 kids Janis: trust Jimmy: you could Jimmy: could be a princess for all I know Janis: 😂 what kind of deep cover is this Janis: living in this hole Janis: going to that school, sure Jimmy: #humble Janis: funny Janis: you wish Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: I don't care what you are, do I Janis: 💸 and clout would be an undeniable bonus, regardless Jimmy: I told you, I wanna be left alone, clout is the opposite of that Jimmy: & I don't need your money, girl Janis: Okay so you can't be bought, get you Jimmy: that's not what we're doing here Janis: I know Janis: Serious Janis: you're just easy to take the piss outta Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll turn around now, like Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: I'm not having the threat of you walking hanging over me head Janis: So serious Janis: Not a princess with a driver, there's no changing the bus route on the rest of this lot now Janis: no matter how moody you get Jimmy: I've got a kid sister I ain't babysitting you too Jimmy: Be serious Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: Or call it off Janis: Nah Jimmy: It's not a yeah or nah question Jimmy: it's me saying don't half arse fake dating me Janis: I ain't going to Janis: like you said, this ain't real, and ain't how it's gonna be but can't prove that 'til I get there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: That ain't a response either Janis: I ain't the only one with something to prove Jimmy: Show your face & I will Janis: Try not to look too disappointed Janis: don't doubt some of your fangirls will be watching Jimmy: How many times do you want me to tell you you're pretty when nobody's listening? Janis: Shut up Janis: That ain't what I meant Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: See? Don't start Janis: 😍 only dickhead Jimmy: calm down, dickhead Jimmy: I've got this Janis: First time, you admitted as much Jimmy: Faking it, yeah Jimmy: I've done it for real, that's harder Janis: You reckon Jimmy: I don't care what you think so yeah Jimmy: As long as it looks good it don't matter if it is Janis: That's same as the real thing let's not lie Jimmy: Nah Janis: Agree to disagree, darling Jimmy: Disagree and tell you to shut your face, Jodie Janis: Save it for your ex, Romeo Janis: 💘 such a romantic Jimmy: If I was, she wouldn't be an ex, would she? Janis: Giving you benefit of doubt Janis: LDR never works, you're a 15 year old boy Janis: got like what, 13 more before you find the one, isn't it? Jimmy: what makes you think long distance is what ex-ed her? Jimmy: I never said that Janis: Guess not Jimmy: You don't have to fake knowledge about me Jimmy: nobody's asking who came before Janis: You don't know girls if you think that Janis: undoubtly scoping their profiles as we speak Jimmy: don't doubt they have but they won't find owt Janis: not gutted for 'em Jimmy: only yourself Jimmy: you'll have to keep faking knowing everything Janis: suits me fine, boy Janis: the truth don't interest me none Jimmy: spoken like a decent liar Janis: you know it Janis: truly your lucky day Jimmy: 😍 Janis: Ready? Jimmy: If you are Janis: Fuck it Janis: Why not Jimmy: see, romance ain't dead 💕 Jimmy: how could I refuse? Janis: in it for the smoothie Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: got time to spit in it still Janis: Don't you dare Janis: Will actually fuck you up Jimmy: Get used to it, you're gonna have to kiss me Janis: Disgusting Jimmy: Sweet talking again Jimmy: Jeez, June, steady on Janis: You're the one bringing up necking when I've not even got in the door Jimmy: Are you ready or aren't you? Janis: 'Course I am Jimmy: then I can talk about it, can't I? Jimmy: it's too late for a no kissing rule Janis: If that's how you deal with bricking it Jimmy: piss off Janis: Too late now, babe Jimmy: it's not Janis: ? Jimmy: we don't have to do this if you're shitting yourself Janis: bitch, please Jimmy: I'm not gonna be your bitch, babe Janis: Not the pet name you want then? Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Have plenty of time to think on it when you're swooning 😉 Jimmy: It's so funny that you believe you'll able to think on anything Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: catch me mentally writing my shopping list to pass the time during Jimmy: You aren't even a good liar in private Jimmy: We're doomed Janis: Shut up Janis: Not seen such a romance since Kate and Leo Jimmy: 🎻 doomed, mate Janis: you wanna go down with the ship so bad Janis: drama 👑 Jimmy: I want you to put your riches where your big mouth is Jimmy: Stop your chatting and come on Janis: Keen as Janis: I'm nearly there, stop pining, it's embarrassing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: Maybe I should just date your sister Janis: Go on Janis: I ain't gonna save you from the literal slag pile of exes, you ain't deserve it Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you don't deserve me Jimmy: well snide you Janis: You love it Jimmy: not having my 💘 Joan, I told you Janis: i don't want it Janis: just gonna 💔 it and bounce Jimmy: 😂 Janis: k i'm coming in guard your 💘 and 👀 'cos i look 🔥 Jimmy: I'll judge that Janis: you forgot what we're doing here or what Jimmy: If we're dating you gotta bring it as my girlfriend Jimmy: so nah Janis: 🙄 Janis: 'cos you look so fit in your stupid uniform 👌 Jimmy: We're meant to be improving your rep not trashing mine Jimmy: & yeah I do 👌 Janis: Really? Nothing to do with how scared you are of these crazy bitches k Jimmy: fed up ain't scared Janis: still Janis: you need me Janis: don't forget it, pal Jimmy: I won't if you don't, mate

[kentstartt]

jack and deans 2017

heres a masterpost of everything (i think) jack and dean did in 2017, everything is linked if you so wish to see them also the dates might be a day off bc im in Australia and i cba getting the timezone correct. follow me on twitter @jackhowad for me and @jackandean for updates x (this took me like 3 days to put together id really appreciate if u read it xo

January 

6th- deans 25th birthday 

8th- they uploaded ‘the good the bad and the just plain sh!t parts of 2016′

13th- dean and his brother daniel went to a Nintendo switch event in london (x,x,x)

16th- deans ass is now available on vinyl & dean followed me on jack and dean updates

27th jack saw moonlight and mark hamill liked his tweet 

28th jack and hazel saw the lego batman movie

30th hazel uploaded “a lovely night” cover with jack

February 

9th the trailer for drunk history, which jack and dean were in, was posted (x)

10th they posted a photo revealing raleigh richie was going to be in jadoat & dean was on bbc radio 1 talking about games

11th jacks 25th birthday

12th dean did a twitch stream (the only clip i have from that is him saying he wants to fuck tom hardy so, enjoy) & jack and hazel went to the baftas (x,x,x)

13th superglued was the first jack and dean video to hit 2 million views & dean first drew the heart guy

15th bertie took some nice photos of dean (x,x,x,x)

19th dodie posted a cover of ‘someone in the crowd’ with jack and co

20th dean wants to eat ass?

21st they had a screening of jadoat season 2 for cast, crew and friends (x,x,x)

22nd dean posted the first designs for what would become his merch

23rd cayleigh posted the 120 chicken nuggets challenge with dean

27th dean posted the first “We Need To Talk About Games” podcast with bertie

March

1st the poster for jadoat season 2 was posted

3rd dean got his nintendo switch and died a bit inside

6th dean posted the second episode of the “We Need To Talk About Games” podcast with his brother daniel

9th the jadoat tralier was posted on youtube

10th jack went to stay in a cabin in the woods with hazel for the weekend

14th jack posted a vlog “naked man at the gym”

16th jadoat season 2 went online along with season 1 being posted in full on fulscreens facebook page

18th jack and dean (and co) went to dodies gig in london

21st jack posted a vlog “dont talk about it”

23rd episode 3 of jadoat went on fullscreen

26th dean finished playing zelda breath of the wild

27th jack and dean posted a #spon sketch “living room shootout” ft bertie and hazel

29th jack and dean were on hannah wittons fubar radio show (x,x)

30th the 4th episode of jadoat went on fullscreen & they were on the greg james show on radio 1

31st dean posted a vlog “Dean Updates You”

April

1st jack posted a vlog “my bad acne”

6th jack posted a vlog “hasnt seen the matrix" & dean posted the first dean draws ‘Dean Draws A Slime Ghoul’

7th jack and dean went to vidconEU in Amsterdam (x,x,x)

12th jack and dean did an interview with maximum pop

13th jack posted a vlog “movie directing secrets with gareth edwards”

14th dean did the photoshoot for his new merch store

15th dean posted “Dean Draws Space Elephant POTUS”

21st jack and dean posted jadoat S1E3 to youtube as “babysitters”

22nd dean posted ‘Dean Draws A Top Hat Mermaid’ & jack posted a vlog “things go wrong”

25th dean started his patreon back up again (go donate) & jack met james gunn (the director of gotg2)

26th their episode of drunk history aired & jack posted a vlog “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - Thoughts/Review”

28th dean posted “Dean Draws A Candle Samurai Shark”

May

3rd jack hosted a roundtable thing with Ridley Scott and Michael Fassbender & he met billy crudup & katherine waterson

5th dean flew to playlist live in florida

6th jack posted a vlog “whos the best chris” with hazel

7th daniel j layton posted “baking with layton also jack howard” & dean did a m&g at playlist live

8th jack and dean were on cbbc to play “say what”

9th jack was on an episode of reasonable beef to talk about guardians of the galaxy

10th jack posted a vlog “theres NOT hope for us all”

17th dean posted “Dean Draws Jack Howard Cthulhu” & jack was on another ep of reasonable beef to talk about spiderman 3

20th deandobbsstore launched 

21st jack posted a vlog “if wonder woman fails”

24th dean posted “Dean Talks #1 - Merch, Patreon, Jack & Dean and the next Dean Draws”

27th dean posted “dean draws a broccoli dinosaur”

28th jack and dean posted a sketch “bed head”

29th jack posted the bts/bloopers of bed head to twitter

June

3rd jack posted a vlog “bad brain days”

16th dean drew this adorable pic of him and jack

17th jack and hazel saw hans zimmer in concert

18th hazel posted “talking pictures” with jack

21st jack and dean flew to LA for vidconUS

23rd jack and dean attended viconUS in Anaheim

25th jack and dean hosted part of the vidcon livestream (x)

27th dean got his jacket embroidered with DAD (his initials) 

28th jack and dean officially became real youtubers when they were on “youtubers react to the nicki minaj challenge”

30th jack and dean posted a sketch “nazi bar” (which got trending and pissed off all the alt right piss babies)

July

1st dom fera posted a sketch “banana shirt” with jack

4th nazi bar was featured in philip defracos “today in awesome”

7th jack saw spider-man homecoming

13th jack and dean (& co) attended the dunkirk premiere (x) and jack met tom hardy

14th jack and dean were on another episode of youtubers react “Try To Watch This Without Laughing or Grinning” & nazi bar hit one million views so jack posted the deleted scenes to twitter 

15th jack posted a vlog “wonder woman review” & was on another reasonable beef to talk about spider-man homecoming 

16th jack posted a vlog “spider-man homecoming review”

17th jack posted a vlog “i love Christopher Nolan”

August

2nd jack and dean were in “youtubers react to 90s internet comercials”

4th dean attended sitc on his own for the first time ever

7th the fratocrats posted “Jack Howard, Muggles Vs Wizards and Roy!“

10th dean drew theresa may babbadook for a dean draws but the file for corrupted

11th wetheunicorns posted “dean dabbs”

14th jack announced that there wont be a jadoat season 3 :( (x)

17th dodie posted “in the middle (acoustic)” with jack 

27th jack and dean posted a sketch “handful”

29th jack posted the outtakes to handful on twitter

31st jack and hazel went to ireland

September 

7th jack attended the premiere of “Mother” (x)

8th deans week long gaming IG project started (x,x,x) & jack met Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky in paris with hazel

15th dean posted  "Dean Draws A Mystery Movie Poster - Cineworld Spon”

23rd jack posted a vlog ‘a chat with matthew vaughn’ 

24th jack posted a vlog “Kingsman: The Golden Circle - RANT & Review”

26th jack and hazel celebrated their 2 year anniversary 

27th jack was on reasonable beef to talk about kingsman: the golden circle

28th jack was in a video on school of life “Why we should show our hurt rather than argue” & jack and dean flew to toronto for buffer festival

29th jack was on the jackmaate podcast

October 

1st jack and dean posted a sketch “self conscious computer ft anna akana” after screening it at buffer fest

3rd jack posted a vlog “why do we binge” & timH posted a sketch “we’ve all been there” with jack and dom fera

11th josh edwards posted “game show” with jack and dean

16th dean did a photoshoot for season 2 of his merch

19th dean attended an event for mario oddyssey (x)

27th deandobbsstore launced season 2 with chill one hoodies and eat people beanies & dodie posted the official video for ‘you’ with jack and sav

28th dean attended MCM comic con in london 

31st josh edwards posted “houndz of the BASTARDvilles“ with jack, hazel, dan and dodie

November

3rd jack went on the orient express

5th dean posted “dean draws chill one (a really bad how to)”

14th jack did some baking as promo for daddys home (i think)

16th jack posted a vlog “the problem with marvel”

17th hazel posted “would you rather” with jack

28th they shot a new video

30th dean was on radio 1 talking about games

December

3rd jack and dean posted a sketch “cup phones”

idk if anyone will actually read this far, thanks if u do. also congrats to the lads who have had a p sick year, i’ve had a great time updating it. also s/o to felicity who proofread this for me, i appreciate it, even if i didn't use any of her changes. follow her on twitter, shes whipped for taron like me but its more sexy from her 

[mysplaced-pen]

Hey~ can you do hc of the rfa + v and saeran discovering that mc is a master theif please

hi there~ of course I can! sorry this is kinda late; also sorry this is so long…i got carried away;;; 

some spoilers!! requests are open!

edit: took the cut away cause there were some problems with it >.>

yoosung:

actually found out on the phone with mc while playing LOLOL

he was describing what was going on in the raid to them 

they offered advice like “no no, sneak into the back window. Don’t bust it open either, use your knife. left corner.”

he followed them instinctively, but then paused it. “wait…how’d you know that?”

*cue mc’s nervous laughter* “it’s..a side job…I’m kind of like..a thief”

*yoosung confused emoji noise* “like..in a game?” no, yoosung

becomes hella worried but doesn’t ask them to stop bc he didn’t know how

his main concern is them getting caught bc he can’t bail them out

he’s broke

starts taking classes hella seriously bc now he wants to open the hospital asap 

“so you won’t have to do it anymore!”

in the meantime, he visits the nurse and the bio club often to be prepared

jokingly asked if they could steal test answers once. don’t tempt them

when Seven pranked him again, mc managed to steal almost half his hbc stash

Seven was both impressed and devastated. Yoosung laughed so hard he cried

he hasn’t pranked Yoosung since, making Yoosung incredibly happy

still pls mc its dangerous 

707/Luciel/Saeyoung:

found out through the background check

confused as to why V let them join 

he’s very suspicious at first

but they joke along with him and seem so positive 

it hits him that they could be like him

cue Stress™

really pushes them away now

“I’m a very dangerous person, mc” “ok me too what’s your point”

but he still fell for them 

they were so nice and genuine, doesn’t let their job affect them too much

when he lets go of avoiding them, there’s a lot of questions

which leads to a lot of stories 

its their form of couple bonding 

tHE MOST DANGEROUS COUPLE NOW EVERYONE BEWARE

take the “agents 606 and 707″ thing very seriously 

even after they eventually both quit their dangerous jobs

the rest of the rfa is lowkey scared of them but they know how lucky they are to have this dangerous, but positive couple

jaehee:

is Very Stressed 

found out when she was compiling info on the rfa members 

figured that’s why she didn’t trust them at first. baehee has great intuition

tells them they should quit before they open the cafe 

but suddenly a lot of the things they talked about made sense

like when mc said all those crazy things. “just shave elizabeth 3rd lmao”

manages to get mc to switch jobs and fully take on the cafe

but one day they found someone trying to break into the cafe 

oh boy

not only were the rest of the rfa infuriated jumin was honestly so pissed this would happen there’s bodyguards around the whole block now

but jaehee allowed them to do it just once more

*evil mc grin*

they didn’t steal anything, but they sure did get them back by messing up their house

ok they stole one thing

it was their coffee maker….look it was a keurig 

normally, jaehee doesn’t really like those 

but they help out on busy mornings at home or lazy days

she feels guilty but then again, the cafe was never in that situation again

zen/hyun:

remember that april fools phone call? (”you’re a thief” “yea, i am”)

that’s how he finds out

except he doesn’t believe them. just had to tell him during april fools, huh mc?

finally believes them when he they were going through pics and he saw one of them before going on a raid. they were all dressed for a mission

asks about it cause he was confused and they were like “i told you already gdi zen”

is Shocked™

“but princess, that’s so dangerous!” “says the one who used to be in a gang!” 

almost demands they quit for safety (he’s also kinda broke and can’t pay bail)

they tell him they already did because they were worried it would give him hella bad publicity 

is so touched rip zen 

they still steal one thing though…merch. and tickets(technically cause zen always gives them one)

jaehee says she disapproves, but always takes mc up on their offers

they talk about their dangerous pasts while cuddling

his new favorite pickup line is “are you a thief? because you stole my heart how disgusting

brags about having a badass significant other 

jumin:

oh boy

mc didn’t wanna bring it up because this would be really bad for him

but when Elizabeth ran away, they walked around the penthouse and pointed out the most likely used escape route 

jumin was impressed, but also a little confused

mc forgets he doesn’t know for a minute and starts rattling off about escape routes that are in the penthouse and which one they’d take

jumin is even more impressed

and worried because they could sneak out

“were you planning on leaving, mc?”

oh snap 

“no no no! I was just giving an example, i won’t leave you jumin!” 

*internal sigh of relief* “but..why would you know that then?”

time to come clean, mc 

he’s so? surprised?? 

mc promises they’ll quit because of all the controversy that’s bound to happen 

which makes him relieved but also kinda upset cause they can’t do something they probably enjoy

hence why there’s a new room in the penthouse that makes mc feel like a spy to cross all these obstacles

jumin failed it like three times now 

v/jihyun:

was worried about letting them join when he heard from 707

but this had to be a sign because they were there 

so he let it happen

reads through the chat room more often than he did before to see how they were all getting along and if mc was really dangerous

but they weren’t, which made him feel better

he still found himself coming back, though

he hadn’t seen the rfa so bright and active in a while 

made him smile 

when he met mc at the party, they had a talk. especially cause mc figured he knew 

they were both glad there were no problems and then the conversation went to awkward, lowkey blushy territory

*cue both 707 and jumin snickering in the background*

mc offers to help with the whole Mint Eye situation 

at first, he refuses. it’s dangerous and he’s the only one who should be in danger 

so they steal those special glasses of his (that help him see a bit better w/his left eye)

the two of them reach a compromise: they’d do it together. 

V gives them all the info and finally tells the truth while mc goes in and shuts them down i want the rfa happy ok

unknown/saeran: 

he knew because he’s a stalker i mean also background check

thought they’d help just steal the info he needed

but they were cute… 

dammit saeran

still thinks they’d be the perfect candidate for Mint Eye though

and he imagined the rfa’s faces when their new member is actually a thief

hahah that oughta show them 

when he breaks through the window, mc is half scared-half “you could’ve done that so much better” 

mc it’s not like you’re on the first floor

they start to bond over his tattoo and leather jacket

if he stays in Mint Eye, they become The Scariest Couple oh my god

if he doesn’t and he stays with saeyoung, mc decides to quit as a thief to help him out and kind of show him that he could get over the hard past too

when he has nightmares, mc tells him stories of what they did before 

the stories are really no less scary, but imagining them doing all that and getting out alive make him feel better

especially cause they’re so nice

they keep their matching aesthetics though  

[saintkimora]

ok so i have lots of things to say so im just gonna put it all in one post. its how school has been going, how my relationship w caleb is going, my rpdr pre season rankings, my thoughts on bbcan5 even though i havent watched a single episode, and my progress in botw

so first its school. so i literally failed my orgo test yesterday. i gave up on the last 2 synthesis questions bc i just didnt know what to do so thats like 30 points off right there. i most likely got this other synthesis and a mechanism question wrong so honestly i prob got like a 50. he drops the lowest test grade so i just need to step it up after this but like...rip. i studied but i got all the reactions and reagents and stuff mixed up in my head bc theres so many different things yet theyre all super similar so i just couldnt keep the information straight. so rip to my gpa this semester i guess

today sociology was cancelled so i just had psych and anatomy. i fell asleep in psych and anatomy was boring 

so today i had a date w caleb and it was v nice. BUT he asked if we could bring leeann along again!!! like wtf its been not even a week since that disaster of a date and you already want to bring her again??? like he really just does not get it smh but i said yes bc i didnt want him to think i was being difficult. luckily she was busy so she couldnt come anyways

we had lots of fun in the park! he like undid my jeans and started playing w my dick while we were sitting on some concrete block and it felt like i was in one of those porn videos that take place in the woods or something. there was like no one else there obv

he did say one thing that really got me pissed though. and i didnt think too much of it at the time like i was kinda :/ but then when i got home and thought about it some more i got a little upset about it. he called me on the phone to talk as usual and i told him about it and he felt really bad about it. he didnt think much of it in the moment but after i told him it bothered me i could tell he felt really bad and honestly? good! i hope he did feel bad about it bc he was being a dick for absolutely no reason

also i found out the stuff with alex! and like its so weird bc caleb has previous interactions with like 4/6 of the other guys ive been with. so ya apparently they both worked at mpowerment together and caleb just didnt like him lol. so today alex sent me a friend request on fb and followed me on insta bc he found both bc hes friends with/follows caleb on both things. and caleb posted a pic of me on insta w a bf goal type quote but once again it was NOT a good picture of me!!! i looked sooooooo pale bc of the lighting and my facial expression idek 

so i saw alex liked the pic and THEN tonight during our phone call caleb told me that alex messaged him on fb asking if him and i were together and caleb was like yeah and alex didnt respond so caleb asked why he was asking and alex just replied with “...” like he really is cracked! idk if hes like offended or something but like idk why he would think he has any chance with me after ive literally ignored like at least 10 total texts/messages/etc from him! like smh every time i think hes finally given up he tries to come back into my life like it was a one night thing stay away! *naomi campbell/naomi smalls voice* check your asshole before you come and talk to me

so yeah. that all w that. caleb wants to take me to the movies on saturday for our next date. but also another issue im starting to have is that caleb is starting to talk a LOT about eating my ass and fucking which is getting on my nerves bc i told him that it will be a while before we get to fucking and he keeps bringing it up its like being w freddy all over again

anyways. heres my final rpdr s9 pre season rankings

KIMORA >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> aja > shea >>>>> valentina > eureka > peppermint > alexis > nina > jaymes > trinity > sasha = farrah > charlie

literally the only 3 i actually like and am interested in are the first 3. valentina i dont like that much but i feel like im gonna end up ironically liking her. the middle ones idc and sasha farrah and charlie get on my nerves. alexis was in my top 3 when the cast was first revealed but after seeing some other stuff on her idk i dont think i like her. aja moved up to second bc shes funny on twitter. kimora is my fave obv. shea i like but im kinda worried shes gonna get a boring edit

and now for bbcan5! the only bbcan season ive seen is 3 but i am officially team ika and gary! idk which one i like more but those are my top 2. sindy is 3rd karen is 4th and i guess cass is 5th. i didnt like her on s4 but from what ive seen this season i think i like her. idc about the rest. tbh i dont plan to watch a single episode i just want ika gary or sindy to win 

now for zelda botw. i just finished the vah medoh quest. so i have 2/4 divine beasts done and im going for the gerudo one next. im just hoping to finally find some cute armor in the gerudo town bc i am sick of only finding ugly clothes! for the map i think i just need 1 more tower to finish it. i also killed my first guardian today which was satisfying but not really bc i didnt even know what i was doing bc it all happened to fast lol. ive also been kinda reckless w my horses bc i wanna see what happens in one dies but they are resilient! my horse accidentally got hit w the blast from a bomb arrow when i was trying to hunt and it caught on fire and still survived! i dont wanna straight up kill it bc thats weird but i want one of these horses to die already! i feel like it would add some drama. so ya my main focus rn is just exploring while slowly doing the divine beast quests

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: tf did you use to paint yourself? Rio: still glittery lowkey 2 showers later Buster: 😂 Rio: yuk it up but you won't feel so slick when you're in lectures looking like edward cullen 😜 Buster: You reckon? Buster: The girls will love it Rio: Twilight is so mid 2000s, babe Buster: Due a revival then Rio: And if anyone can bring it back, it's you, yeah? 😂 Buster: 'Course Rio: Taking that 🍀 back with you Buster: Nah, you need it more than me, like Rio: You reckon? Rio: If anything, lowkey look like I've got a tan, tips will be rollin' in so tah Buster: You're the one two showers in, babe Buster: But you're welcome for it all Rio: you know Rio: gotta get to feeling clean somehow Buster: Alright Rio: Jokes Rio: Well it ain't but little late for that Buster: You can always say no next time Rio: No I can't Buster: More jokes Rio: Nah Rio: so, did I salvage what was left of your birthday or what? Buster: You know you did Rio: Yeah Rio: reminding you so you cheer up Rio: and to remind you, you owe me, of course Buster: If you really wanna cheer me up you know how Buster: But I don't know how you reckon I owe you Rio: I answered your SOS and prayers, that's how Buster: Nah, I get a birthday wish Rio: Hmm Rio: Yeah Rio: got me there Buster: If anything, you owe me for answering yours when it ain't your birthday for a month Rio: Now hold up Rio: you want me to ignore you 'til then then, yeah? Buster: Not what I said Buster: Don't pretend you could anyway Rio: Could give it a shot Rio: see who breaks first Buster: Already know it'd be you, babe Rio: No way Buster: Scroll up to where you literally said you can't say no to me Rio: Exactly, scroll up to where you're the one asking Rio: 😘 Buster: Shut up Buster: Come over here and play that Buster: You wouldn't last a second Rio: Here's hoping you would Rio: Awks Buster: If you really need me to prove it, I can Rio: When you going back? Buster: Here for a few more days, milking that family dysfunction with the profs Rio: Jesus 🙄 Rio: you're something else, McKenna Buster: You love it Buster: Don't act like that wasn't what you wanted to hear Rio: Just weighing up if I should come see you now or nah Rio: but if you're here for a bit longer then Buster: Then what? You're gonna play hard to get Buster: Bit late for that, like Rio: Says who Rio: Maybe I got plans, you don't know my life, boy Buster: I know you wanna come over Rio: Yeah Rio: Are your 'rents in or what Buster: 'Course not Buster: if you want them involved I can always give them a ring, like, but Rio: You're fucked in the head, like Rio: shut up Buster: Shut me up Rio: Trying, like Rio: keep coming back full force Buster: Yeah Buster: I was planning to be loud for you but if you don't want it Rio: Oh Rio: why you gotta be like that Buster: I wanna Rio: It's rude Rio: and distracting Buster: Good Rio: No not good Rio: I'm gonna have to show you how bad Buster: So show me Rio: Alright Rio: [Sends shower pic] Rio: 3rd times a charm, right? Buster: It could be if I was there or you were here Rio: That'd be a real game of risk Rio: lucky if you have 15 minutes to yourself before someone needs a piss and is banging the door down Buster: Well I told you to come here Rio: In a bit Rio: Gotta film first Buster: Priorities, babe Rio: 💸💸💸 Buster: You'll proper owe me when the glitter does you good Rio: I'll let you know how well it goes down Rio: but you don't get more than 5% Buster: I don't want your 💰 Rio: I know Rio: hoping you'd tell me what you do though Buster: I did Rio: You not going to give me any more to go on? Rio: Gotta perform here you know Buster: What do you need? Rio: To know how bad you want me to be there right now Buster: So fucking bad Rio: Yeah? Rio: Can you watch Rio: I don't want to rn but I can just pretend its only for you Buster: Yeah Buster: Make it good Rio: You know it Buster: We'll see Rio: You're going to give me an honest review huh Buster: 'course Buster: you gotta earn it, babe Buster: me and the 💰 Rio: Always do, gonna be jealous of how much I can get away with charging a minute Rio: 😏 Buster: You reckon you can make me jealous Buster: Don't think so Rio: Easy Rio: You're on Buster: Good luck, like Buster: You'll need it Rio: Born with it boo Buster: Yeah? Rio: 🍀 Buster: Easy on the eyes but you've still gonna try hard Rio: Where would you be if I didn't try hard? Rio: Think on Buster: I am thinking about it, believe me Rio: 🤓 Buster: shut up Rio: Awh Rio: It's cute Buster: 🖕 Rio: Poor baby Buster: fuck off Rio: Fine Rio: 'til next time then 💋 Buster: Who are you kidding? Rio: You still here babe? Buster: You're not funny Rio: Rude Rio: 💔 like Buster: If you're gonna play with me, do it better Rio: Gotta get ready first like Rio: Not everyone on this stream is so 😍 Buster: You wish, babe Rio: 😂 Rio: no denying last night Buster: That was last night Buster: You've given me nothing to look at yet today Rio: Neither have you Rio: #jussayin Buster: You ain't asked Rio: Well, now I am Buster: Say it then Rio: Show me what I'm missing Buster: [Sends pics] Rio: 🤤 🤤 🤤 Rio: okay boy Rio: i'm ready now Rio: [sends stream link] Buster: You and me both, babe

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Fake dating begins!

Janis: Grace wants to buy you a coffee for being such a gent. Janis: If I was you I'd have a freebie black and charge it to her tab. Her and her cronies are in there enough, and it'll save you having to endure a frappe/her and said giggling gal pals. Jimmy: Me and her or a group hang with the BBs for the 'gram? Jimmy: 👍I did that last week and the one before Janis: Depends. She obvs wants alone time with you but she's never passed up a #goals photo-op in her life, so. Janis: Can't be freeing the nip on Insta but maybe she's got a private snapchat she wants to whore out, you'll be well in then 👍 Janis: Christ. Good to know not ALL her money goes on Brazilian blow-outs, she's also topping up the salary of every hot barista in town, what a philanthropist she is, amongst other less favourable titles. Jimmy: If you can be arsed to 3rd wheel this I'll shout you something from the secret menu Jimmy: Which exists swear down and isn't just a invite to my snapchat Jimmy: Why am I worried Brazilian blow outs is a way bigger euphemism any day Janis: Hmm. As much as I try to avoid spending ANY time with Grace, for obvious reasons as you well know, it could be pretty amusing to see her make such a twat out of herself. And it would piss her off if I gatecrashed...Fuck it, I'm in. Janis: Don't get any ideas about making some taboo twin content though, lad, that only happens in the minds of pervy porn execs, and in weird old lady novels from the 80s. Janis: Lol. Yeah, it ain't a Cavante special. Its to make her look MORE white, funnily enough. As if the coffee habits and UGGs weren't making her a literal meme for the cause already. Jimmy: I'd rather down a strawberry açaí refresher with coconut milk every time Grace makes a gaff, which funnily enough is what necking with your sister's tall mate tastes like, than get sandwiched between the two of you Jimmy: I'd shout her a flat white if she'd get the joke though. One for each of them Jimmy: 😩 Janis: OMG, girl code, Grace sooooo saw you first, Tammy is gonna be out on her flat white arse when Gracie finds out, like 💀 Janis: The feeling's mutual, dickhead. Wouldn't put it past my sister though, she's more obsessed with me than she'd EVER be with you. 🤢 At least she'll be moving on when you finally give in and give it to her, I've got a life fucking sentence, mate. ⚰ Jimmy: OMG Minnie (??? Isn't that her name maybe) launched herself at me first and I'd be out on my penniless arse if I'd let her crack on over the counter ⛔ Jimmy: I like my encounters with a little less ego it's no crime. Or slight on you, mate. Jimmy: I'll tell Gracie that if she ever lets me get a word in. Janis: Fuck knows. All look the same to me. Ironic if it is, though, fucking jolly green giantess. Janis: And soz but sexual assault ain't no crime either when you're them though, they're just being #girlbosses swear down garda 💋 Janis: Good luck with that one, kid. Even if she gives you the chance, she won't be listening. Fucks with the fairytale where you shut the fuck up and carry her bags 'cept to call her pretty once in a while for said ego's boost. 🙊🙉 Janis: oh, and look good in the 'gram, standard. Jimmy: Could be what the lads call her... whoops Jimmy: Damn. I'll have to spoil her fun by letting it be known I've got myself a girl already. 🎻 Shame it'll take me years to find one who can stand the interrogation 💔 Jimmy: Gotta get Cass to keep her ear low. Effort. Janis: The 'lad's' secret is safe with me, the 'girls' are hardly likely to listen and I'm even less likely to bother to tell 'em. She'd just think #pussygamestrong 'neway so I ain't giving the bint that unwarrant stroke when you've all already been there, done that. Sloppy. Janis: Woe is, lad. Like everyone ain't on your dick rn 'cos you got that shiny, new appeal. Just pick one that ain't TOTALLY unbearable- ah, I see your problem. Janis: Sadly, I can't help, I ain't the massive lezza you've no doubt heard from the lads and girls alike that I am. Janis: Slim pickings either way you swinging, you see. Jimmy: You can help me then. Go on. Think how mad it'd make Gracie if nuffin' else Jimmy: Counter distance between us at all times if you want Janis: Aside from pissing off my sister, which I'm more than capable of by me larry, what's in it for me? You get her off your dick and back into Costa to cry it out, like Jimmy: Freebies of any of Common Grounds finest where you can also hang without her and her hangers on Jimmy: Semi trained mutt if I can wrench it from my sisters grasping hands? Jimmy: Plus an end to the rumors if you're arsed about that. You said yourself I've got the newbie appeal Janis: Alright, alright, you had me at dog! Janis: I won't deprive your sister but I could do with an AM running partner who can keep up. I'll wear it out and have it back to you at the end of your morning shift, before she's even had her weetabix or found her school tie. Deal? Janis: I'm down for writing our own rumours, why the fuck not, eh Jimmy: Done. Her name's Twix and she's as annoying as the name makes her sound. Jimmy: Get ready for rumors about how many bodies she's buried for you after all the holes dug Janis: Cute. And I'm sure I've dealt with worse bitches, I'm up for the challenge. 💪 Janis: Its always the dog walkers init, suspicious cunts. Jimmy: Yeah, and if you wanna bury a few of 'em yourself I'll keep my lips sealed Jimmy: Tomorrow too soon? Janis: Good man, you will if you know what's good for you. Janis: Though, not too sealed, gotta set this dump's/my sister's world alight, like, and I don't think that's happening if we just hold hands. 😲 Janis: Nah, I'm ready. Only thing I got scheduled is double chem and that can always do with livening up. Janis: How you wanna do this, lover boy? Jimmy: Point taken. I better work on my angles too. For the 'gram. Jimmy: With minimal cliches if that can even be a thing round 'ere Jimmy: Probably wouldn't believe it without 100s would they Janis: You best, I don't know how to work facetime, you've got the wrong twin there. Janis: Well, I could oh-so casually ask Grace if her and the bitch squad are going for coffee on the way home from hell (as if they don't every fucking day) and she will be buzzin' thinking I wanna come 'cos she's always asking/attempting to drag me like she's on a mission from the coffee bean gods Janis: Then we can be there, together, oh-so casually again Janis: Aside from sucking face on the playground (which is a little first school, even for these hoes) its the best way to get max attention and thus the rumour mill will do the rest Jimmy: Make sure Tall Tammy's at the back. Can't have Grace missing it Jimmy: See if you can get one of them to spill coffee on you too. Everyone loves a heroic gesture and a clothes share 😏 Janis: 😂 Brilliant. Janis: Assuming Grace doesn't straight up throw it at me, I'll be sure to make that happen. Janis: I'll probably come chat to you at lunch tomorrow too. Can't have this springing out of nowhere, like, how implausible! 😏 You hang with Sean Bryne and that atm, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah we'll be in the smoking spot if not our usual corner Jimmy: I'll slide into the seat beside you the period after make it look like we got it really bad 💘 Janis: 👍 twos up on the ☠ 🚬 then, lad. what could be more romantic? Janis: good thinking, grace is in that class too and she's hopeless with maths so she won't be paying the slightest bit of attention to anything but the absolute scandal Jimmy: What should I call you so you don't wanna punch me in the dick as soon as I go in for a pet name? Janis: Eurgh, good shout, even if it is just to save your own bollocks, can't blame a boy. I don't fucking know, what's not vomit-inducing but also #couplegoals enough to make it worth the hassle? Janis: Blah, just remember my name, yeah, that'll have 'em creaming. Such courtesies are not often extended their way, like. Jimmy: Deal. And I'll # everything #JJ so you can block it from your feed easy Janis: Solid. Janis: Imma take a picture with your dog tomorrow, it best be fucking cute. Jimmy: [Takes a selfie with Twix and sends it] Do you? Jimmy: Not my #goals but should spark jealousy with the intended Janis: Cute. Janis: The dog ain't bad either. 😉 Janis: I'm getting in practice Jimmy: I'll do mine in the comments when it's posted Jimmy: How keen is cringe in the eyes of Gracie and her friends? Janis: You're asking a mouthful there. If you're too nice, they'll say you're boring. But they've gotta at least pretend they're feminists in this day and age so if you are too full of the bants and low-key treating me like shit, they're gonna have to pretend they ain't here for that even though that's every boyf they've ever had, na'mean? Janis: Just say something confusingly inappropriate for what is not gonna be a hot pic, isn't that how you lads do? Janis: I'll set you up with a lame caption Jimmy: Thanks. There's back room access in it for you Jimmy: Again not a private snapchat invite Janis: Steady on there, not until the 3rd date, at least! 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Seriously though. You're not as much of a bitch as everyone says. Nice one. Janis: Well, don't be spreading that backhander about, will ya? Janis: You've got a rep to make, that's a bit of mine I'd like to protect Jimmy: 🤐