#3rd day in a row i’ve drawn this man

[puppyvenom]

awe c’mon man u drew him AGAIN???

[thechosenburrito]

Intro to Love: 1.3-I Can See Right Through You

Word Count: 1,039

Description:

Xochi was already shaken from the day before when a terrifying news headline sends her into a panic.

Author’s Note:

I’m gonna go ahead put the warning here in the author’s note that the main character goes through an episode that is similar to a panic attack so proceed with caution.

Previous Chapter: 1.2-Clinic Crashers

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(C): Soooo what you're saying is you fell and conveniently hurt your wrist so you can't work on the project

(X): no lol. I can still work on it I just can't type very fast

I pulled up the project on my laptop and changed the title to "Proof that I can Still type" before emailing it to him.

I reached for my phone and winced.

Other hand, genius.

(X): Ok I sent you the document

(C): Cool thanks

(C): Ok gtg I'll work on this later

(X): later

I stood up from my desk and peaked out my dorm window again.  I jogged over to the door and looked out the peephole, tripled checked the door was locked, and collapsed onto my bed.  I was starving, but couldn't fathom going out in this state.  

Guess I'm ordering delivery.

The pizza place a few streets down was having a special that made my thin wallet happy and placed an order.  A 30-minute wait was plenty of time to start a load of laundry.  It's not like I was doing anything productive anyway.

I dragged my dirty clothes to the laundry room.  Luckily, not that many people want to do laundry at 9 pm on a Saturday.  I started loading the washing machine while a small old TV in the corner droned on.  It only ever showed the local news, with University approved messages in place of all the commercials.

The Anne Johnson Library isn't just for studying!  Check out our website for the full list of clubs and groups the meet on the 3rd floor and expand your horizons!

I really need to check my pockets more often.  There was a whole ass dollar in my pocket.

Join the Honors College Celebration of Diversity on Wednesday the 4th at 5 pm in Amicus Hall and celebrate what makes us special!

Ok, regular wash...

Breaking news as we come on tonight.  A 22-year-old male was found dead just off North Juarez Street...

...warm cycle...and start.

Medical examiners have determined that the young man was struck by a vehicle and was pronounced dead at the scene.  Witnesses say they spotted an unmarked white van near the scene beforehand.  Medical examiners also have determined that the victim was in fact a Striker

I froze.  It couldn't be.  The unmarked van...and he was...no.  I'm overthinking it.  There's no way.

We go now to a message from the victim's family.

"He was worried someone was following him.  The last thing he said was when he 'mom I'm scared' and I said 'don't worry mijo you'll be ok' and now he's gone."

I wiped my eyes and turned to the TV to see a woman doing her best to speak through her anguished sobs.

"I want the Solita police department to find who did this to our son and bring them to justice.  Please! We need answers! We need peace!"

Held a picture of her son to the camera and my heart sank.  It was the guy from the clinic!

Tragic news indeed.  We'll keep you updated on this developing story.  We'll be right back.

I leaned on the washing machine and clutched at my aching chest.  I could barely control my breathing.  It can't be true.  It can't be true.  It can't be true.   Unless...

The University  Counseling Center is available to all students for free.  Remember: You are not alone!

... someone knows.

~~~

I've eaten many depressing meals in my life, but only being able to take a single bite of my favorite kind of pizza with a whole box right in front of me instantly earned the top spot.  It even earned bonus points for having the theme to go along with it.  Nothing says "I'm not okay" more than staring at my desk in a room lit only by a single desk lamp with drawn curtains and a chair wedging the door shut.

It took all my strength to not puke the single bite I took back up into the box.  Somehow the aching hunger couldn't overpower the churning fear in my stomach.  I let out a sigh and put the pizza in my fridge.  I'd have to eat eventually.  

My hands wouldn't stop trembling.  My fear...it felt the same as it did all that time ago.   They started to look funny and I quickly tucked them under my arms.  I couldn't even bear the sight.

I relived that day over and over in my head.  

If only I had put my phone in my pocket instead of leaving it in the bleachers.  If only I had asked a Band Mom to grab it for me.  Maybe if I'd realized sooner and I wouldn't've had to go back up there.  I wouldn't've been there when the lightning struck and-

No, I shouldn't have even gone, not that I had a good excuse to miss my last homecoming game.

If I had been even one second slower or faster, I wouldn't have to hide.  I wouldn't...

I could feel my knees starting to buckle.  I tried to grab onto my bed, but my hand passed right through.

"No..."

I collapsed onto all fours before curling into a ball on the ground.  I couldn't hold the tears back anymore.

I should feel lucky.   Everyone else got chipped when they got struck.  If it weren't for neglectful Band Moms thinking a fall down 10 rows of bleachers only constituted a lukewarm ice pack, I would've ended up in the hospital.   They've would've seen something was wrong and the government would've descended on me like vultures to put a chip in me and treat me like some kind of lab rat.

I rubbed my shoulder.   It was always the right one in all the news stories.  I imagined what it would be like to feel a chip under my skin.  I finally found the strength to look at my hands.  I could see right through them to the ceiling, only barely being able to make out the silhouettes of my own hands. More tears began to flow.

I managed to slip through the cracks like I never existed, and when I still thought being Striker was cool, that's how I chose my nickname.

Ghost.

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Next Chapter: 1.4-Thanks for Ghosting Me

a/n:

Things are picking up the pace!  I’ll try to publish about 2-3 of these per day to try to catch up to my Wattpad so stay tuned!

[shimmerystyles]

‘You’re my muse.’

Luke x Reader blurb.

Summary: Y/N is a photography student in her 3rd year of college. It’s the end of the semester project time and she’s given a task that leads her to an unsuspecting stranger.

Warnings: its cute, maybe a swear or two, that’s about it.

Word Count: 1,100+

“Alright class, before you all run out of my lecture hall, I have your final assignment” Professor Stevenbach says fixing his bowtie.

The class erupts in groans and he lets out a hefty laugh. “Now now class, it’s a good project” He exclaims as he hands out papers to each row.

“Your assignment, should you choose to accept it” he snickers to himself, leaving the hall in dead silence. He clears his throat and continues. “I want you to take your cameras out on the town, and find the one thing that captures your eye, your muse if you’d like to call it that. Photograph it, show it’s depth, dimension, emotion. I want to see your pictures and understand where your idea came from. Be creative, and HAVE FUN!!” He sang the last part out as the bell rang.

As the class scurried out, you carefully put your laptop in your backpack, along with the assignment. “Don’t forget class, this project is due in 3 days! I also want a paragraph explaining your photos” The prof yelled over the kids eagerly running out of the lecture hall. You made your way out slowly, placing your earbuds in your ears and started the long trek to your car on the other end of the campus. As you walked over, you thought of things you could do for your project, what could you photograph? You pass by trees and flowers, freshly blooming and symbolizing a new beginning.“Nah” you thought to yourself. ‘So cliche’. You snicker at your own comment and continue walking. 

As you approach your car, you see a family of geese walking in the opposite direction. You smile and think of animals as an option, symbolizing unity and family. You knew too many people were going to do these topics, and it left you with a creative writing block, so you decided to drive over to your favourite coffee shop, and brainstorm some ideas as they came to you.

Once you arrived, you walked over to the entrance, and immediately stopped dead in your tracks the second you saw him.

He was tall, 6′2″ at best. Had long curly hair and painted nails. A man so exquisite and yet so rugged and handsome. You pull out your camera and sit at a table further away from him. When he looks back down at his phone, you take the opportunity to take a shot. You look back at the picture, and it’s perfect.  You just needed one last shot, so you waited for him to look up, and as he looked up, he looked straight at you and his once still face was now a frustrated, angry face.

“You people seriously can’t leave me alone, can you?” He says walking over to you.

“E-excuse me?” You stutter in confusion, unaware as to what you did.

“You paps are always invading my personal time, time for ME. MYSELF. THATS IT. If i were you, i’d fucking get up and walk away because this is my time. Don’t take that away from me.” He rolls his eyes as you tremble in fear over his negative attitude.

“I-I’m sorry, you don’t understand I-”

“No, I get it. It’s your job, it’s what puts food on the fucking table right? Well, I need my space too. So can’t you just come back another time? Seriously.” He crosses his arms, and leaves you speechless. He scoffs and turns. “Pathetic” He spits out and starts back to his table.

“You’re my muse” 

He stops dead in his tracks and turns slowly. “Your what?”

You gulp and smile softly. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, i’m a photography student at UCLA. I was assigned a project to find my muse. Someone who I admired from afar, thought was original and unique and looked like an incredibly handsome gentleman.”

He furrows his brows. “And that’s me?”

You shrug. “I don’t just call anyone a muse, Mr.-”

“Luke. Luke Hemmings.” He sticks out his hand and you gladly accept it. “Listen, i’m sorry for being rude before. I’m just so used to annoying paps and their cameras flashing, so when you literally sat right by me and started taking pictures, I got fed up.”

“I don’t blame you, it must be annoying having people constantly watching you with cameras, waiting for you to make a mistake or something.” 

He nods. “That’s exactly it!” You smile softly. “I’m sorry for taking your photos without permission, that was rude of me. It’s just, you were perfect. I was hoping, you’d allow me to take more pictures of you. Just so I have more options.” You ask, never breaking eye contact. He smiles and nods. “Come, join me.” He ushers you over to his table and you immediately get to work.

You both goof off and share a few laughs as you take funny, and serious photos for your project. You spent the entire afternoon, drinking iced coffees and describing your lives to eachother and it was fasciniating for the both of you. After a long while of chatting, you finally check your phone, and it’s already 6PM. 

Time flies when you find a muse.

“I should probably get back home.” You say packing up your camera. “Hang on, Y/N” He places his hand over yours on the table. “Can I call you sometime?” He asks smiling softly. You nod and trade phones. “You seriously put your contact name as “Mr. Muse” in my phone?” You chuckle softly and he smiles. “Well, I did the exact same thing for you, Ms. Muse.” His cheeks flush a soft pink, causing you to blush back.

You rush home to edit your photos and started writing your paragraph for the assignment.

‘I was told to find a muse that captures my eye, and photograph it. I’ve never been so immediatly drawn to a human being before, but something about my muse was... alluring. He was so dashingly handsome, and his aura screamed expression and creativity. My muse was frustratingly curious as to why i was candidly photographing him. He expressed emotions, and honesty that I’ve never heard a man express. He was upset with me, but for a reason that wasn’t my doing. My muse and I, over the course of 3 hours, got these images together. 3 images. A serious face, to portray the initial reaction to my photography. A candid laugh, to portray our immediate connection, and A smile, because my muse was a piece of work, but Mr. Luke Hemmings, was worth the slight struggle.’

You attached all the files over to your school email and sent it in, but not before taking a picture of your assignment and sending it to Luke.

Mr. Muse: Wow, didn’t know you liked me THAT much already Ms. Muse.

Y/N: Sorry, Mr. Muse. I was trying to get a good grade.

Mr. Muse: And what if it doesn’t? 

Y/N: Honestly... doesn’t matter.

‘Meeting you, was worth it.’

najskfnjkansfn (first off, who caught me calling luke 6′2″.. cocktail chats anyone?? HES 6′4″ THE MAN CAN’T LIE) I hope you guys like this. I really, really wanted to try this concept as I loved this idea so much and was so unsure as to how to execute it properly. if you hate it, it’s ok too!!!

[jimlingss]

I'm literally crying-- I HAVE A C IN CALCULUS!! I got a 90% on my last test and i have a C now!!!!! I had a D before cuz i got 53% on my first test and i am so so happy i am /passing/ i usually get straight A's and some B's and this is the first time i've been this stressed about just trying to pass a class and i am just, so so happy i burst into tears wow. And you came off hiatus-- this is like, a sign! Your presence blessed my grade :')

*applause* you go girl! It may not be the perfect mark but as long as you’re satisfied and you know it’s the best you can do then that’s great! I know the pain of math all too well ._. but honestly it’s so satisfying to get good marks. sometimes when I see a row of 90′s or 100′s…man that does things to me. (and there’s my nerdy side)

honestly as a kid I really loved receiving report cards loooool

myjeansareonfire said:I’M CRYING AND YOU’VE JUST POSTED CH3 OF BEYOND REACH AGSHXFDJSKX OHMYGOD I FEEL REWARDED I’M SO HAPPY 😭😭💖 (why am i like this lol)

YES! IT’S A REWARD. (*shifting eyes) I totally planned it this way with my psychic abilities…ha…haha….

myjeansareonfire said:Ohmygod i’m a sobbing disgusting MESS 😭😭 i was finally able to lay down and read this in piece and that was probably the second or 3rd most painful think i’ve ever read. First of all, i’m personally someone who really craves physical affection. I honestly start feeling kind of depressed if i go too long without seeing my friends or my significant other because they’re the only people who i feel comfortable receiving physical affection from. It relaxes me, makes me feel safe and happy (1/5)

every time i you mention the way hoseok wants to be able to reach out and touch y/n, comfort her, ruffle her hair, help taehyung off of the ledge of the bridge, it honestly really makes my chest ache. And then.. The way jimin wanted to get taehyung off of the roof ledge, ohmygod, that hurt so much. Just imagining how hard he was trying, how hard he was crying, the tears streaming down his face, his voice going horse from yelling at him to get down.. It was honestly so freaking painful (2/5)

I’m curious as to what’s the most painful thing you’ve read. but yeah honestly I didn’t mean to make the chapter that painful…it just ended up turning out that way. It’s honestly up there with my top angst written pieces.

And I’m really glad you understand the severity of the ghosts unable to touch. Sometimes I wonder if I did enough but it seems like you understand so that relieves me.

Personally, I’m not a touchy person at all. Last time I received a kiss was probably a decade ago by some relative on the cheek and it’s been about a decade too since I’ve actually hugged someone hahaha I’m one of those ppl who cringe away, do that weird half hug thing and say they don’t like hugs but honestly…..it’s hard to admit but sometimes I crave some sort of physical affection too - I’d feel weird to ask for it though. Like it’s awkward with family members and me and my friends don’t ever touch each other hahaha maybe someday when I date or something. plus, pshh…I can give myself a hug. (this just got real deep and personal but if you’re talking about your own experiences, I will too haha.)

i think my tears freely started flowing when i realized tae was going to try to kill himself. And just imagining how painful it was for tae to deal with the fact that jimin killed himself after he told him too… Ahh this was just such a difficult thing to read 😭 also i 100% agree with hoseok on that wall between him and y/n… The way you describe it, it’s almost palpable. Y/n is just so closed off and distanced, i personally feel closed off from her 😂 (3/5)

i feel like she just has this ‘don’t fuck with me’ aura but not for the reason people would think. She already has to deal with dead people, i can’t imagine the hell her life would be if she had to deal with annoying /living/ people too. I really hope that y/n will slowly open up.. Or at least to hoseok. (also i just feel like i really cannot express how damn sad it made me to picture jimin being that torn, lol.. :’( i don’t think i’ve read a fic that devastating for jimin before this) (4/5)

I’m sorry it’s difficult to read, I know it’s very emotionally draining. That’s why I’m not very surprised at the low amount of notes and feedback. I’d rather people not read if they’re uncomfortable. At the end of the day, I write for myself so I’m not dwelling on the “results” much. 

But yes! No spoilers but we’ll definitely find out more about Y/N’s character. There’s 3 chapters left!! Originally actually, Y/N was a very happy person and ready to help everyone and everything but after I edited the second chapter I didn’t like her character at all and thought it was extremely unrealistic so I did a complete 180 which I became more satisfied with. The OC is a very interesting character.

As always, a beautifully crafted chapter 💖 i adored it all, and i’m sorry i didn’t send the asks while i was actually reading it this time.. I just didn’t want to interrupt the flow of the story at all. I just felt so drawn in to what what was happening. I’m dying to know more about hoseok tho!! *sends moral support to hobi* you can do this!! Remember!! I believe in youuu! 💖 (can’t wait for ch 4! :3) (5/5)

No! It’s really fine if you send a message after or during. You don’t know how much I appreciate receiving these, any of them, regardless of length or time and I read each word carefully with a huge grin. I’m truly honoured to have you as a reader, don’t worry about messages, thank you! I’m even happier to hear that you were so invested, you couldn’t pull yourself away. 

Overall, my thoughts on the chapter….I’m a person who values family HIGHLY above friends. I don’t have that many friends, really only have one true close friend while the rest I’m not so close to. But while I was writing this, I truly began to assess the relationships I have in real life, with my own friends and man….I cried really hard editing the chapter. I did two edits in total and cried in each one. These people that I often take for granted, I’m now actively trying to value them and…*sigh, I’m getting too deep into this.

Secondly, usually in fics, it’s all about romantic relationships. There are friendships but typically not the main focus. I’m also responsible for writing weak friendships, throwing them in for the sake of just throwing them in. But I realized writing this how powerful friendships can be. With romantic relationships and family relationships, there’s almost an obligation there, either strong feelings binding you to the person or through blood relations, all the history. But with friendships, there are no obligations…you’re there because you simply want to be. AM I MAKING ANY SENSE? I dunno, just trying to say friendships are really powerful, this chapter hit me hard too….glad you enjoyed :’))))

[freaksofrugby-blog]

Meeting Mr Toga

Monday, 29 June 2015

I pressed ‘send’ and my hand was actually shaking.

When you’ve grown up with the name Apisai Toga spoken in awe, given legendary status - a mountain of a man, made folklore - sending a text to his brother inviting him to lunch felt like a momentus action.

Inosi Toga - that’s pronoucned ’Tonga’ everyone - played alongside his late brother at the St George club at Kogarah in the Southern suburbs of Sydney for three years; drawn to the club at Apisai’s insistence to test himself in a competition the Dragons had dominated for a decade. It was, at the time, world club Rugby League’s sternest challenge.

Fast forward fifty years and I’m melting in the heat of Sydney’s Autumn heatwave. I’ve been stood in the shade at Circular Quay for an hour. Inosi’s text says that the traffic is awful and he’ll be late.

I’d spent a couple of days wondering how it’d feel to finally close the loop on the story of a genuine Rugby League giant. Inosi had said in his emails how honoured he was that the club remembered ‘Api’ with such reverence, love and respect. How he treasured the medal that would be taken ‘home’ to Fiji to rest alongside his brother.

From tracking him down in the midsts of a cold, wet UK autumn, to standing here outside the MacDonalds on the corner of Alfred Street, it had been an exciting, emotional journey - but as the minutes ticked by there was a realisation that - for both of us - this was a pretty big moment.

Then there he was. Squeezed behind the wheel of a small hatchback, a grin as wide as the harbour bridge, a shovel of a hand extended through the open window. “Jim,” he boomed, “my friend. I am sorry we’re late.”

Alongside Inosi was his wife Olivia, dressed in a brightly coloured dress: “I asked Olivia to wear something traditionally Fijian, then you would know it was us” he laughed. For the first of many times, Olivia raised her eyebrows in mock exasperation and invited me to sit in the front passenger seat.

“I’ve arranged for us to have lunch at the St George Leagues Club”, said Inosi, pausing to take a call from Steve ‘the sledge-hammer’ Edge. Edge was the St. George Dragons hooker in their 14th and 15th grand final wins who played alongside Apisai and Inosi (he also captained the Parramatta Eels to their 1st, 2nd and 3rd premierships - and was NSW’s  Hooker in the inaugural State of Origin in 1980.).  

He is now on the management team at St George and Inosi had lined up a meeting in honour of my visit. I suddenly felt a bit under-dressed…

As Inosi steered the car out of the city and down the Princes Highway, he told me Api’s story.

He said that Apisai was not just a gifted footballer, but a prodigious athelete - the very best of an emerging generation of Fijian rugby talent. He saw the opportunity to play in England as a chance to mature and develop his game - and he often spoke of how playing for Hornets in the cold, the wet and the mud of an uncompromising competition gave him the harder edge he needed to become a world-class footballer.

When St George came knocking he saw that as the ultimate challenge - the best side in the best competition in the world. He was a revelation in the second row - a genuine star. Inosi admitted that he didn’t have Api’s skills, but when your big brother calls and says ‘come play alongside me in Sydney’, it’s a hard offer to turn down.

Inosi spoke of how the club employed the Toga boys as ‘painters’ at the League’s club - given overalls and step-ladders to do odd-jobs around the club as a ‘day-job’ around their training. I get the impression that they didn’t do a lot of painting.

Then Inosi spoke of the event that tore his family apart. Reporting for training after a visit home, Api didn’t feel right - carrying an infected cut he’d picked up whilst swimming during his break. Api was running alongside Inosi and Steve Edge at Kogarah Park when he collapsed. He was rushed to hospital, but died of his infection.

The shockwave hit the Toga family hard. Inosi had always seen his big brother as invincible: “He was my hero, I looked up to him”.

Api’s body was taken home.The St George club persuaded Inosi not to go to the Funeral: “They knew that if I went home, my mother would want me to stay. That I wouldn’t come back”, he said, his voice almost a whisper.

Within a year, his mother too was dead (“… of a broken heart”) and, in 1974, St George released Inosi from his contract. He had no club, no family and, it seemed, no prospects alone in a city far from home. After a move to play Queensland Cup fell through, Inosi called it a day on his career.

“I was in a dark place,” he said. “I would find myself in ‘the Cross’ (King’s Cross  was - and is -  a notorious district of clubs, bars, strip joints and massage parlours) - drinking, picking fights, women…” his voice trailed away. Olivia squeezed his shoulder.

He told me that in the darkest of those days, he needed to find another path if he were to avoid the worst possble fate. “I knew nothing of God”, he said, “But I knew I needed something”.

In 1980 Inosi joined a local church - seeking support and solace. It was the alternative path he was looking for. With renewed purpose and a new outlook on life, he became a pastor and transformed his life.

Recently retired he’s still actively involved in community work and it’s clear how appreciative he is that he got a second chance.

Arriving at the St George League’s club ‘Mr Toga’ is warmly welcomed at reception and we are shown through to the restaurant. Steve Edge greets us with a crushing handshake - and thrusts a huge parcel of St George memorabilia into my hands. It’s a hell of a welcome.

Inosi and Olivia hoot with laughter as I present him with one of Hornets’ Fiji-themed world-cup away shirts. “Palm trees - on an English jersey…”

Over lunch Inosi tells me of plans in Fiji to launch a 7s tournament in Apisai’s memory, of how he will tell the people ‘back home’ of the respect and generosity of the people at Rochdale Hornets. 

But most of all - again and again - he thanks us all for remembering his brother.

Source:

[Rochdale Rugby League Heritage]

http://rochdalerlheritage.blogspot.com/2015/06/test-post-goes-here.html?m=1

[funorb]

My first original long joke called "Luck"

My first original long joke called "Luck" - When I was young, I was always lucky. When I was five, my mom asked me to give 6 numbers for the lottery. “8, 13, 27, 29, 30, 31” I said. Without any hesitation, my mom punched those numbers on the lottery ticket and hoped for the best. Later that night, my whole family was watching the lottery on the television.“The winning numbers are 8!” The announcer said.“Five more numbers and I’m a millionaire!” my mom said with a big smile on her face.“13!” The announcer continued. My dad, who believed throughout his whole life that the lottery is rigged by politicians, suddenly looked towards the television. It was as if he knew that we were going to win.“27!” We already have half of the winning numbers. My family wasn’t really that rich, so winning the lottery would be a big help.“29!” Is it really going to happen? Are we really going to win ₱80,000,000?”“30!” One more number! The least amount we could get now is ₱50,000. Getting 5 out of the 6 winning numbers is already a big achievement in itself. Even if we don’t win, getting 5 winning numbers was already a testament on how lucky I was.It was as if God heard me and answered with a big “Okay”.“32!” Silence filled the room. My dad slowly looked away from the television and started reading his book once again. The smile in my mom’s face quickly disappeared as she stood up and went to sleep. Meanwhile, I was still very proud of my achievement. 5 out of 6 was unbelievably good. The next day, I bragged to my classmates that I had an 83.33333% guess rate. Most of my classmates were like “Whoa, that’s amazing” but one classmate of mine asked “Then what happened to the other 16.66666%?”That guy’s name was Calvin. Up until high school, he was considered as the “Shotgun King”. He would just shotgun any major test but still end up with a 100% grade. He was one of the few people in the world that were luckier than me. At age 11, he already won the 6/55 Grand Lotto four times, and he wasn’t only lucky with the lottery, he was lucky with everything. Five months ago, he won a 2017 Audi A3 Sedan. Three months ago, he won a Mercedes-Benz AMG 43, and about a week ago, he won a Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor. He won all these via raffle. There were a lot of doubts about his wins since not even the Philippine Air Force has an F-22.I haven’t been participating in any more raffles since my mom said that I should focus on my studies. While walking to class, I saw this flyer that said about a raffle with the 1st prize of a Samsung Refrigerator. It was the perfect time to test out my luck skills, besides, my family would extremely benefit from a new refrigerator. While I was putting my raffle entries inside the drop box, someone patted my shoulder.“Hey Kyle!” the guy said. It was Calvin.“Hey Calvin, what’s up?” I said.“You’re entering the raffle too?” He asked.“Yeah man, it’s been a long time since I won something.” I answered.“Well good luck.” He said. “I’m joining the raffle too, so the chances of you winning are slim.”After two days, it was already raffle day. I was positive that I would win, so I sat in front, near where the results were going to be announced.One by one, the results were slowly announced, starting from the 5th prize.“The 5th prize goes to Earl Cayanan!”“The 4th prize goes to Mary Ann Severino!”“The 3rd prize goes to John Paul Melecio!”“The 2nd prize goes to Harold Eugenio!”Finally, it was the time for the 1st prize. In the corner of my eye, I suddenly saw Calvin talking to some security guards. I smell something fishy going on.“And for the 1st prize, congratulations to Calvin Tolentino!”Calvin quickly ran up the stage. I didn’t believe the results so I ran up to Calvin, but on the way, two security guards stopped me. I didn’t give up. I shouted: “I’m the real winner, not you! The whole raffle was rigged!” One security guard then grabbed his gun and smacked its base to my head. I passed out.I then woke up in a hospital room with an old lady whom I’ve never met before, sitting beside me.“So, do you want to beat Calvin?” She asked.“What do you mean?” I asked in return.“I can make you win the next major raffle.”“How?” I quickly asked as I was interested.“Well, the next raffle has a bottle made out of diamonds as its first prize. If sold, it could be as expensive as ₱850,000,000.”“Okay so how do I win it?”“Hold your horses, young boy, that’s not the real first prize. You shouldn’t win the bottle, but instead, go to the host right after the program has ended. He will give you the keys to the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’ or WARR for short.”“The what?”“Okay, this might sound crazy but there is a robot that can make you win all raffle you enter. It’s called the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’.”“So how does it work?” I asked out of curiosity.“No one knows, it was sent by God during the 1300’s. What I do now is that whoever has the WARR would never lose a raffle. Your friend Calvin was just really lucky, but with the WARR, you’d be more than lucky.”“But how would I be sure that the host would give it to me?”“Well, he is my son.”“How is he your son?”“I gave birth to him.”Since this conversation seemed like it wouldn’t lead to anything useful anymore, I packed my things and left the hospital. Moments later, I saw a flyer that caught my eye.“Win a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle worth ₱850,000,000. All you have to do is enter the raffle to have a chance.”Maybe this was the raffle the old lady was talking about. I quickly went to the raffle booth and entered.“The raffle draw will be in an hour, sir.” The clerk said. “You can meanwhile sit in our Waiting Area.”Inside the Waiting Area were chairs, tables, and a television showing a replay of the 2021 NBA Finals. It’s crazy how the Lakers won it in 6 games. Joel Embiid was such a beast for Philadelphia but they still weren’t able to pull it off.After an hour, I left the waiting room and sat in the front row near the stage where the raffle will be drawn. Slowly, people started coming and the seats started to fill up.It was time.The host came out of the curtains and picked one raffle ticket in the spinning jar.“The 5th prize which is a 1942 Zero Japanese fighter plane, goes to Erika Sanchez!”“The 4th prize, which is an authentic piece of the Shroud of Turin, goes to Francois LeBourgeoisie!” I can’t believe the host mispronounces his name.“The 3rd prize, which is the original copy of the Indian epic, the Ramayana, goes to Juan Tiu-Tres.”“The 2nd prize, which is a legitimate metal shard from the 1947 Roswell UFO Crash goes to Zack Dimagiba.“And finally, the event you’ve all been waiting for, the 1st prize which is a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle goes to…Calvin Tolentino!”“What?!” I shouted as I jumped off my seat.Someone then suddenly patted my back. It was Calvin.“It’s okay Kyle, you’ll get your chance.” Calvin said.I was about to punch him in the face but I suddenly remembered that I never really intended to win the 1st prize, so before Calvin went to the stage to claim his prize, I told him: “Hey Calvin!”“Yes Kyle?” He said with an intimidating smile to his face.I moved closer to him, stared him in the eye, and softly said: “You may have won the bottle, but you haven’t won the WARR.”

[ecotone99]

[SF] My husband wrote a short story / play about a stormtrooper out of Star Wars and gave him a whole storyline. I think it’s incredible; but he’s too scared to share. So, enjoy!

Behind the Helmet

“You grew up wanting so bad to be Luke Skywalker, but you realize that you were basically a Stormtrooper, a faceless, nameless rifleman, carrying a spear for empire, and you start to accept the startlingly obvious truth that these are people like you.”

Daniel Crimmins from U.S. Army 3rd Infantry Division

Author’s note:

Behind the Helmet was inspired by this quote by Daniel Crimmins, who is in the U.S. Army and is a Iraq War veteran. This quote was about how they had their 9/11 patriotism crushed & replaced with something that made them feel disgusting and hate themselves. So I started thinking: What about the Stormtrooper that started out wanting to do good, and found out that they were a part of something horrible? No one really ever focuses on the nameless Stormtroopers who die by the “good guys”. I found my focus drawn to one that appears in Star Wars: Episode IV, whose designation is TK-421, and is one of the only ones you hear in the movie. The only information about him is that he wasn’t at his post in the movie. I just wanted to give him a story, and also our own country’s people who serve, so that they aren’t just a number or a helmet. That they have their own dreams and ambitions and lives.

ACT ONE Scene One

Lights come on to a Clone Stormtrooper with the designation TK-421 standing center stage. He addresses the audience directly.

TK-421: I was born a clone, whose purpose was to fight, to be a soldier. All I’ve ever wanted was to be the best at what I did. To be the perfect soldier who makes a difference for the better. That’s how most soldiers start out, until they find out that they are just pawns in an evil man’s game of chess and that there is no such thing as killing for good. This is where I started in my mission to be the perfect soldier, right when I graduated from training and was about to go out into the real world. Oh, how young and naïve I was to think that I could make a difference by going to war.

Lights go dark.

Lights turn on to an open room with rows of seats that are filled with Clone troopers whose attention is on a podium in the front of the room. The room is filled with nervous chatter from all the newly graduated recruits. Among them is a young TK-421, at the age of twenty, who talks to his friends sitting near him.

TK-421: I can’t believe it’s finally here, after all these years, we’re finally done with training.

TK-422: Yeah, and you still can’t hit a target with your blaster.

TK-421: Well at least I know how to turn on my headset transmitter before a drill so I don’t end up by myself hiding in a bathroom stall.

TK-422: Hey, I told you, my transmitter was broken… and I was holding it all day.

(The small group of friends chuckle as the two poke fun at each other.)

An officer of the rank of Captain walks in to the room, to where all the Clone troopers come to attention. The officer walks to the podium and addresses the room.

Captain: Take your seats. I know this is a proud and exciting day for you all, but I want you all to remember that you are now going out into real battle zones and situations with real enemies that can, and will, kill you. This is where all your years of training will aid you and keep you alive if you keep it as instinct for you when you don’t know what to do. Now you all should be receiving your orders on where you will be stationed for your first command on your personal communicators momentarily. After you receive them, they will include information on what shuttles you are to board to the system you are stationed at. You will go straight there from here and all of your belongings will already be on the shuttle waiting for you. Now I wish you all luck with wherever you get stationed and with what you end up doing in your military careers and hope to see you all in the Fleet someday. Congratulations.

The room comes to attention as the Captain walks out of the room. Within seconds, the graduates’ personal communicators start beeping to inform them of their new orders. Everyone starts chatting and asking questions about each other’s orders and where they got stationed.

(TK-421 looks over at TK-422 as his personal communicator beeps.)

TK-421: So what did you get?

TK-422: Someone better be playing a joke on me, I’m not going to a planet where I have to talk to walking carpets.

TK-421: Does that mean Kashyyk or Endor?

TK-422: Kashyyk, if it was Endor, I would’ve said walking floor mats.

(TK-421 chuckles just as his personal communicator beeps.)

TK-422: I hope you got stuck with Hoth, so you have to freeze your butt off for 5 years.

TK-421: No, even worse, this armor is going to be a sweat suit with how humid it’s going to be.

TK-422: Ah, good ole’ Felucia. Not to mention the giant bugs and plants you have to deal with. That’s not that bad though.

(They start to argue about whose orders are worse when another graduate, who is wearing the designation TK-435, walks over to them.)

TK-435: So where did you two butt knuckles get stationed?

TK-422: What’s it to you 435? Need to know where to send us flowers?

(TK-421 chuckles at this and draws a glare from TK-435.)

TK-435: No, I just need to know where to send some extra blasters so that they can use them to finally shut you two up.

TK-422: Oh, is that because you can’t do it yourself?

TK-435: Shut up, just because you two got the top scores of the class doesn’t mean I can’t shoot you like anything else.

TK-421: Maybe, but that would mean that you’d have to figure out how to use the blaster first.

(TK-421 and TK-422 burst into laughter as TK-435 storms off.)

TK-422: I’m going to miss messing with 435.

TK-421: Yeah, same here. I think I’ll mainly miss just having you here to be my partner in crime though.

TK-422: Hey, it doesn’t mean we can’t still be stationed together later, or visit each other when we have leave.

TK-421: I know, it’s just that things are going to change so much after today, and I’m not sure that I want them to.

TK-422: Don’t worry, you’re going to do great in whatever comes, you always do. Just like how you got top of the class all these years. I’m sure you’ll probably tame all the giant dragonflies by the time you’re done there or something crazy like that.

TK-421: And I’m sure you’ll still have at least one of your arms left when you leave Kashyyk.

(They both chuckle a bit. Then an announcement goes out over the speakers that it’s now time to board the shuttles to their assigned systems.)

TK-422: Well I guess this is it.

TK-421: Yup, I guess so.

TK-422: Don’t be a stranger now and make sure to keep in contact.

TK-421: Oh please, I don’t think I’m the one we have to worry about with that here.

TK-422: That’s true, you are always on top of things like that. Well I guess I’ll see you around then.

TK-421: Yeah, see you. And good luck out there. They both walk away from each other and head towards opposite doors. Just as they’re about to exit the room, they turn and look at each other and give a little salute, then walk out.

The lights go dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: Little did I know that that would be the last time I see or hear from him for 15 years.

Scene Two

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: When you’re in training and you have to memorize all these orders, just in case you have to execute them for crazy situations; And you memorize one that states: Kill all Jedi, you don’t actually think you’re going to have to do it. Why would you kill the peace keepers of the galaxy? But, we aren’t allowed to question what we do, we just do it.

Lights come up to what appears as being outside in a world that has giant plants and forms a type of jungle. On the right side of the stage is a small group of Clone troopers, and a Jedi Twilek, whose name is Aayla Secura, appears to be scouting to the left. The Clone troopers, with TK-421 among them, are in a circle talking when the commander’s personal holocommunicator beeps and he sees it’s the supreme chancellor.

Commander: Quiet up lads, it’s the Chancellor.

(The group falls silent as the Commander answers.)

Chancellor: Commander, it’s time, execute Order 66.

Commander: Yes, my lord.

(The call then hangs up and the Commander looks at his troops.)

TK-421: He can’t be serious can he?

Commander: If there’s anything the chancellor is, it’s serious.

TK-421: But why? Why would we have to do this? We can’t.

Commander: It doesn’t matter, we have to. We follow orders, and don’t question them. It’s what we were born to do.

(The group moves off over to the Jedi while TK-421 stands there, appearing to be too stunned to move.)

Commander: Miss Secura, we picked up movement on our radars east of here.

Aayla: Very well, let us head that way then.

(The group walks offstage with TK-421 still standing there. Then the noise of blasters and a thud like a body dropping is heard and TK-421 falls to his knees.)

The lights go dark. You hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: What could they have done to deserve this?

Scene Three

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice. TK-421: Three years it took before I finally felt human again after that day. I was reminded of who I was, by a girl I just happened to meet after I got stationed on Corruscant. The world that is one big city. A city of life. But even in a city of life, you can come very close to death. The lights come on to a hospital room. Nurses wheel in a gurney with an unconscious Stormtrooper on it and bring it to the middle of the room where they stop. A female doctor walks in to the room.

Doctor: What happened here?

Nurse: Blaster fire to abdomen.

Doctor: Some people just don’t know how to duck.

Nurse: Actually, they said that he jumped in front of it to save another soldier.

Doctor: Oh, now why would he do that? What’s his name?

Nurse: Doesn’t have one, he’s a clone. Guess they just call him TK-421.

(TK-421 starts to stir and groan on the gurney.) Doctor: TK-421, can you hear me?

TK-421: What happened? What happened to him, is he okay?

Doctor: Is who okay?

TK-421: The new kid, I told him to get down but he was in shock and wouldn’t listen. I had no other choice.

Nurse: He’s fine, he’s one of the guys that brought you in.

Doctor: Why would you jump in front of him like that?

TK-421: Guess I just wanted to do something that I could finally be proud of.

Doctor: Well that was very brave of you, stupid, but brave. You saved his life.

(TK-421 turns his head and looks at the Doctor.)

TK-421: You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

(The Doctor turns to the nurse.)

Doctor: Did they say if he hit his head?

Nurse: No, I don’t think so.

TK-421: Are you an angel?

Doctor: Must be the blood loss.

TK-421: I must know your name.

Doctor: If it will make you be quiet, it’s Kahlan. Please save your energy now.

TK-421: Kahlan, that’s beautif—

(TK-421 passes out midsentence.)

Kahlan: Okay, we need to hurry up and operate before he loses anymore blood.

(They wheel the gurney out of the scene.) Lights go dark.

Scene Four

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: That day that I almost died, I was reminded of what it was like to help someone. When I woke up from the surgery, I still thought the doctor was an angel. Maybe a guardian angel. Someone who helped people for a living. I had to see more of her. So that’s what I did, almost every day during my recovery, I would go back and find her and wait for her to get off her shift. Then we would just hang out and talk. I would learn more about her and what drives her to do what she does. She made me feel alive and like who I was meant to be. I didn’t want to lose her when I healed and had to leave. So we did what any two people in love and scared of being apart do.

The lights come on to a small wedding chapel with TK-421 standing at the front next to a minister. He’s looking down the aisle as Kahlan walks up to the two.

Kahlan: Did you really have to wear your uniform?

TK-421: It’s a tradition when we get married.

Kahlan: But why does it have to be white?

TK-421: Sorry, we don’t get to choose it.

Kahlan: Well I’m going to have to talk to them about it.

TK-421: Good luck with that. In the meantime, you ready to get married?

Kahlan: Absolutely.

(Smiling, they turn to the minister as he goes through the ceremony and comes to the end.)

Minister: TK-421, do you take Kahlan to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?

TK-421: I do.

Minister: Kahlan, do you take TK-421 to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?

Kahlan: I do.

The lights go dark.

Scene Five

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: I always thought that when my mandatory 10 years would come that I would get out and know what I’d want to do. When it came though, I thought I could still do good and help by being a soldier. Kahlan thought I should get out and find what to do on my own. I wish I would’ve listened to her.

The lights come on to a small, nicely furnished room with some high ranking officers sitting at a desk. TK-421 enters the room and comes to attention before the officers. A Captain walks out in front of TK-421.

Captain: You know, I couldn’t believe it when I heard that it was you. I remember you from your training days, one of the best I’ve ever had. Glad to see you want to continue doing great things for the Empire for another 10 years. You’re one hell of a soldier.

TK-421: Thank you, I’m honored to, sir.

Captain: Now then, let’s get on with it.

(The Captain and TK-421 go through the re-enlistment ceremony.)

The lights slowly fade until it’s black.

Scene Six

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: When you marry a doctor, there’s this feeling that nothing will happen to them and that they’ll never get sick. Silly, I know. The lights come on to a hospital room. Kahlan is laying in the bed hooked up to machines with TK-421 next to her. A doctor walks in to the room.

Doctor: I’m sorry, Kahlan.

Kahlan: Just tell me, I can handle it.

Doctor: It’s just like you said…

Kahlan: Lung cancer…

Doctor: Yes, I don’t know how we didn’t catch it sooner. It’s already grown past the first stages of containment. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

TK-421: But how can this happen? How can it be lung cancer?

Kahlan: It must have been from when I went to Nal Hutta for that trip to help the locals with medical treatment.

Doctor: I also think that’s it. We don’t know what kind of chemicals and toxins those Hutts are pumping out of their factories. I’ve never seen it grow so fast.

TK-421: I told you I didn’t want you to go there, it was too dangerous. I shouldn’t have allowed it. Kahlan: I would’ve gone anyways, and you know it. Those poor people needed help, who am I to deny them it?

TK-421: You can deny them when it causes your own death.

Kahlan: I can’t put my life above someone else’s. If I can help somebody and am able to then I will.

TK-421: I know, I just don’t want to lose you. Do you know how long she has doctor?

Doctor: I’m afraid that at this rate, she may only have a month or possibly two left. I’m so sorry Kahlan. We will do whatever we can to help you through it.

Kahlan: Thank you, doctor.

(The doctor leaves the room)

TK-421: I can’t let this happen. We can find something, we can fight it.

Kahlan: Honey, it’s okay. If it’s my time to go, then it’s my time. There is no fighting this one, I’m sorry.

TK-421: That’s the only thing i know to do.

Kahlan: I know, but all we can do now is spend what time we have left together. I will love you until I’m not able to anymore. And when I’m gone, my love will still be with you.

TK-421: But you’re all I have. I don’t know what I’m going to do, you’re what reminds me of my purpose. I’ll be lost without you. You’re my guardian angel.

Kahlan: No, you won’t. I will still be with you in your heart. And you’re still going to live on and do what you know is in your heart. You will make me proud with how you live your life. And I will be watching you, smiling.

TK-421: I will, after I retire, I will live how you lived. I will make a difference and I will help anyone who needs it. I will do this for you.

The lights go dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: She passed 5 weeks later, in her sleep while holding my hand. She left a note on the table that read “You don’t have to wait to start making a difference.”

Scene Seven

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: After Kahlan passed, it’s like my mind was turned off and I was a robot. Just going through the motions. I always would just tell myself that I just needed to make it to retirement. Then I could be happy again and start doing good. I got a little surprise though when I got to my new and last duty station. The Death Star.

The lights come on to a docking bay hangar. A small shuttle is on the right. The door to the shuttle opens and out walks TK-421. As he reaches the bottom of the ramp, he hears someone call to him.

TK-422: 421! Is that really you?

TK-421: 422? What are you doing here?

TK-422: I just got here a couple days ago, can you believe the size of this station? It’s like a small moon!

TK-421: It is pretty incredible, just a shame its purpose is to destroy planets.

TK-422: Always so positive 421, just like I remember you! We have a lot of catching up to do.

TK-421: That we do. You’re the first person I’ve seen again since training.

TK-422: Speaking of that, you remember that empty-headed of a trooper TK-435?

TK-421: Of course.

TK-422: Well did you hear what happened to him?

TK-421: No, did he eat a whole bantha by himself or something?

TK-422: No, they executed him!

TK-421: What?!

TK-422: Yeah, when he was on Tattooine, I guess they were looking for these two droids that were involved with the rebellion somehow.

TK-421: Droids? Like battle droids?

TK-422: No, that’s the thing. It was just some protocol droid and a little astro droid. Apparently they were carrying information to the rebellion. Anyways, it turns out that he let those two droids, an old man, and some kid that was with them, get away and escape the planet!

TK-421: Why would he do that?

TK-422: He said that he doesn’t remember letting them go and claims that he was forced to. Ha! Like some old hermit on Tattooine is secretly going to be a Jedi who got away all these years. So, of course they didn’t believe him and Darth Vader himself executed him.

TK-421: Wow, I wasn’t fond of the guy, but I didn’t want him dead.

TK-422: Guess some people just can’t handle the stress of being a trooper and it messes with their head.

TK-421: Guess so.

TK-422: Anyways, I’ll show you where the barracks are at so you can put your stuff away, then we can head to the galley and catch up.

The two walk offstage as the lights fade to black. TK-421’s voice is heard.

TK-421: It took me a few years after Kahlan passed to finally start to be able to be happy about things, and 422 definitely sped that up and helped me through it. But I still always felt like a part of myself couldn’t truly be happy again until I could get out and do what I promised her.

Scene Eight

The stage is dark and you hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: It’s a happy day when it’s your last day before retirement. Serving for 20 years gives you a nice little paycheck every month. And knowing that after that day, you can finally be free to do what you want and be your own person, well, it’s a great feeling. To finally be able to move onto something that would make Kahlan proud.

The lights come on to what looks like a galley. TK-421 and TK-422 are sitting at the table in the middle eating and conversing.

TK-422: So this is it, the last half of your last day. Don’t forget to enjoy this lovely looking sludge they call food here.

TK-421: Oh yes, I’m sure that’s what I’ll be missing most when I’m grilling my own bantha steaks.

(TK-422 laughs then groans.)

TK-422: Sounds nice man.

TK-421: Then why didn’t you get out as well?

TK-422: I thought I could, but… I don’t know anything else besides being a soldier, it’s what I am. I don’t know what I would do with myself. You don’t feel that way?

TK-421: No, I know now, I know what I’ve always really wanted this whole time but was too blind. Kahlan reminded me of who I was, of what I wanted to do with my life. I want to finally help others, not hurt or scare them. I want to make a difference, if not for myself, for Kahlan.

(An alarm sounds and a voice comes on the intercom.)

Intercom: Attention all available Troopers, we have intercepted an incoming vessel in our tractor beam. It is going to be docked in docking bay 327. We need to all available Troops to docking bay 327 for a vessel search and apprehension of the crew.

TK-422: Ooo sounds like some action. TK-421: That I don’t need on my last day.

TK-422: Well we don’t have much of a choice. We have to go.

TK-421: Okay, okay. Let’s go then. Let me just finish the last sludge I’ll ever eat here. They both walk out of the scene as the lights go dark.

The lights come on to a scene that looks to be a big hangar with the ship, the Millennium Falcon, on the right and Stormtroopers in a formation with an officer in front of them giving them orders on the left. TK-421 and TK-422 are seen walking up late to the group. The officer, a lieutenant, turns towards them and speaks.

Lieutenant: Well how nice of you two to join us. You know, just cause it’s your last day here doesn’t mean you can slack off, TK-421.

TK-422: Calm down son, he was just enjoying his last fine meal upon this lovely station.

Lieutenant: That’s Lieutenant to you, TK-422. I’d be sure to remember that if I were you, as you’re not the one that’s retiring tomorrow and can still be thrown in the brig.

TK-422: Why, I oughta call your mothe--

TK-421: Yes sir, Lieutenant. He’ll make sure to heed your advice and sorry for being late.

(The Lieutenant gives them a look, then faces the formation again.)

Lieutenant: Very well, just get into formation.

TK-421: Yes sir.

(The two move around towards the back of the formation and TK-422 whispers to TK-421.)

TK-422: Why’d you cut me off for? I was about to put him in his place.

TK-421: Which would have embarrassed him and caused him to do something rash and punish both of us. It’s my last day here, I’d really not like to spend it cleaning toilets.

TK-422: Very well, I just wanted to have some fun. I’m going to miss messing with the young guns with you. Just like old times.

TK-421: I know, me too.

(They go quiet as the Lieutenant starts talking to the formation.)

Lieutenant: We just found this vessel coming out of hyperspace right where Alderaan used to be, before we destroyed it. The markings match those of a ship that blasted its way out of Mos Eisley. So be careful when you board, they could be armed and dangerous. Now go on in.

(The formation breaks up and starts to enter the ship. The Lieutenant stops TK-421 and TK-422 from going in.)

Lieutenant: Except you two. I need someone to watch the entrance to the ship.

TK-422: Aw, come on. No one’s going to sneak out from there and you know it.

Lieutenant: Well maybe you’ll be on time to where you need to be next time.

(The Lieutenant walks away. TK-421 and TK-422 walk to the loading ramp of the ship and stand guard.)

TK-421: It’s fine, I wouldn’t want to get shot on my last day anyways.

TK-422: Yeah, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a little going away firefight? For old time’s sake.

TK-421: Sorry 422, I just don’t really have much of a desire to kill anyone anymore. Not after Kahlan.

TK-422: I guess it does get tiring.

(The Stormtroopers that went into the ship earlier come out and report that there’s no one in the ship and the logs show that the crew abandoned ship right after takeoff. Darth Vader comes in to the scene and the Lieutenant walks over to him and gives the report.)

Darth Vader: Were there any droids on board?

Lieutenant: No, sir. If there were any, they must have also jettisoned.

Darth Vader: Send a scanning crew aboard. I want every part of this ship checked.

Lieutenant: Yes, sir.

Darth Vader: I sense something… A presence I have not felt since—

(Darth Vader walks out of the scene. The Lieutenant turns to the Stormtroopers.)

Lieutenant: Get me a scanning crew in here. I want every part of this ship checked.

(The Stormtroopers start running around and searching the ship. After a little while the Troopers come back out and state that there’s no one on it.)

TK-421: They’re putting in a lot of effort for this little freighter.

TK-422: Well you know how it is, Darth Vader feels something with his magic then it has to be true.

TK-421: Better not let him hear you talking about the force like that.

TK-422: Or what? He’ll use it to choke me when he’s not her—

(TK-422 grabs his throat and starts acting like he’s being choked. They both start laughing.)

TK-421: Oh, look out. Here comes the scanning crew.

(A scanning crew of two people walk past TK-421 and TK-422 and into the ship. After a few seconds there is a loud thump and someone calls down to them.)

Voice: Hey, down there.

(TK-421 and TK-422 look at each other then move to the front of the ramp.)

Voice: Could you give us a hand with this?

(TK-421 motions with his head to go up, and they walk up the ramp out of sight.)

Lights go dark. You hear TK-421’s voice.

TK-421: I only saw the smuggler pointing the blaster at me an instant before he fired. I guess an instant is all you need for your life to flash before your eyes, and for you to realize that you never got to live the life you wanted. To wish, that you just would have followed what you really wanted to do. That you would have listened and not waited for the “right time” to start making a difference. That you will never be able to fulfill your promise you made. The noise of a few blaster shots fire and you hear thuds from bodies dropping to the floor.

End of Play

submitted by /u/desthedestroyer [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2nDpedi

[walkonwalkonwithhopeinyourheart]

Post-Match Day Thread: Burnley 1 - 3 Liverpool via /r/LiverpoolFC

Post-Match Day Thread: Burnley 1 - 3 Liverpool

Burnley 1 - 3 Liverpool

Player Ratings

Player WS SofaScore TAW This is Anfield Liverpool Echo Average Notes Alisson 7.3 7.3 8.0 8.0 7.0 7.5 Gomez 6.3 6.5 - 6.0 7.0 6.5 23' sub off Matip 7.5 6.9 8.0 6.0 7.0 7.1 van Dijk 8.7 8.2 8.0 8.0 7.0 8.0 Moreno 6.0 6.1 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.4 65' sub off Keita 7.5 7.4 9.0 8.5 8.0 8.1 Henderson 6.7 7.0 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.7 Milner 8.1 7.9 8.0 8.0 8.0 8.0 Shaqiri 7.4 7.2 8.0 7.0 7.0 7.3 Sturridge 6.7 7.0 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.7 Origi 6.6 6.6 8.0 6.0 6.0 6.6 66' sub off Starting XI avg 7.2 7.1 7.1 7.1 6.8 7.1 Alexander-Arnold 6.6 6.9 7.0 6.5 7.0 6.8 23' sub on Salah 7.5 7.5 8.0 6.0 7.0 7.2 65' sub on Firmino 7.5 7.4 7.0 7.0 7.0 7.2 66' sub on​

There's a real mixed bag this week. Keita rightly edges the MOTM, although Milner and big Virge are close behind. The fans give Moreno more credit than I think he deserved, but I think Origi is hard done by.

Links Post Match Thread - credit /u/carterish Match Thread - credit /u/SylvieK Pre-Match Thread - credit /u/_cumblast_

Title Race

Pos Team GP Won Drawn Lost GF GA GD Points 1 Manchester City 15 13 2 0 45 7 38 41 2 Liverpool 15 12 3 0 30 6 24 39 3 Tottenham Hotspur 15 11 0 4 28 16 12 33 4 Chelsea 15 9 4 2 31 13 18 31 5 Arsenal 15 9 4 2 34 20 14 31 6 Everton 15 6 5 4 21 17 4 23

Mad this year isn't it? Us and City now with a comfortable gap, whilst 3rd to 5th keep changing every week. I'm not sure we'll ever catch up on goal difference with City but fingers crossed Chelsea can take a few points off them and we can win at Bournemouth to try and go top. Not sure if Spurs will ever draw a game either.

Everton are just about there but to be honest there's a clear top five and then a very prominent gap from 6th to 13th. Midtable for United, lovely.

On to the comparisons. The chart below displays the cumulative points totals over the four games:

https://i.imgur.com/duR5uLx.png

This is actually one of the lower average points weeks (1.9), so it's good to get that win.

The next graph is for goals scored, with Leicester (15/16) in dark blue and Manchester City (17/18) in light blue being our lower and upper figures.

https://i.imgur.com/QK1I6R1.png

We're still playing with that damn lower boundary. This week was better though and we might be able to compound it with a good game against a middling Bournemouth defence.

The final graph is goals conceded. Manchester United are both used for comparisons, with 08/09 (upper) and 12/13 (lower) seasons.

https://i.imgur.com/vfiiGU9.png

Not sure if conceding another goal keeps us as the best defence in Europe, but City conceding kept us one behind (ahead?) of them.

I have also started keeping tabs on goal difference. I won't share the graph here (you can go and have a look if you want), but we are slightly ahead of the average (24 v 22.9) so that's good.

The spreadsheet I'm working from is below:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1D7aM5g9Pqhnt2y58BdFUc4xTp3epreMhKMlpEVgQOdY/edit?usp=sharing

Goals Analysis

Cork 54' (1-0) https://streamja.com/PGJE https://i.imgur.com/wUpGw1t.png I've struggled to find an alternative angle of this which shows the offside and foul - but I'm sure they're out there somewhere. Anyway, what's important is how this ends up in the back of the net. The grey line marks the "keepers" area. There's Milner on the front post, then the three big lads in a row just on the edge of the six yard box, and a gap at the back post. This is where Alisson should have control - he doesn't have to climb over his own players to get the ball. Trent is at the back post and needs to stop his man. https://i.imgur.com/nCC6GUQ.png Unfortunately, he can't do that, and is out muscled. This allows the Burnley player to head into the six yard box. Helpfully, all of Liverpool's players have held their line. It's fairly clear that there's at least one Burnley player a good yard offside, and another who is just leaning offside. The linesman should be able to see this. https://i.imgur.com/BfCb3zE.png There's a question about Alisson's positioning, but it's fairly obvious he's reacted to the Burnley player directly in front of him - who crucially doesn't get a touch on the ball. This means that the man at the far post is still offside. Alisson making the save does not change this. https://i.imgur.com/mtz7z60.png The moment that man goes towards the ball he influences Alisson, whether or not he's the one to actually play it is irrelevant. Alisson may have possession, but the only picture I've seen was inconclusive (his hands were on top - but does that mean he has possession? One fo the actual refs).

Milner 62' (1-1) https://streamable.com/wuw77 https://i.imgur.com/Q3zNI10.jpg This is a lovely team goal. It's really worth mentioning how far Milner runs to get on the end of it. Here he is filling in at right back. https://i.imgur.com/q1zWNpX.png He plays it into Trent who quickly turns it around to Shaqiri. The key here is that nobody stops - there's movement across the park. https://i.imgur.com/XuDQCCC.png Shaqiri turns and sees Keita in space. Milner continues his run into the centre of the field. On the far side there's a man over (Moreno). https://i.imgur.com/UzUc5nB.png Shaqiri, however, feints the pass to Keita and sprays it out wide to Moreno. https://i.imgur.com/5DYk9HY.png The ball isn't a great one, but it gives time for Keita to pull out to give some support. Milner has now gotten close to the goal. https://i.imgur.com/mZWwphr.png Keita brings it inside, Moreno gives him the option on the wing and Milner in the centre. This is textbook on how to breakdown a packed defence (Burnley have (count them) 8! men inside the box). You either need to pull them wide or create spaces outside the box to take a shot. The key is to keep moving. https://i.imgur.com/zARQ0NP.png Origi receives the ball, lays it off to Milner, who fires into the corner. It's a really well worked goal with plenty of inventiveness and quick passing all across the field. Klopp must've been buzzing.

Firmino 69' (1-2) https://streamja.com/pE69 https://i.imgur.com/f1qH8jr.png There's really only two options with free kicks as centrally as this - play it short or try and get to the wings and cross it in. It's deviously simple but incredibly hard to pull off. This time it works excellently. Trent floats it to the back post. https://i.imgur.com/4uZWsbZ.png Van Dijk manages to stretch and get his toe on it to pull it back across goal. https://i.imgur.com/rtl2YGn.png Firmino is there to tap home. If I were a Burnley fan I'd ask why nobody followed him in, and why Hart didn't get a touch on the ball. But I'm not.

Shaqiri 90+1' (1-3) https://streamable.com/ewyul https://i.imgur.com/LoGxvor.png Just to reiterate my point - same defensive set up as the corner earlier. Only difference is that Trent isn't picking up anyone in particular. https://i.imgur.com/oNMV7pF.png There's a bit of pinball, but this is an astonishing save. He has no right to grab that. https://i.imgur.com/XhDW0gp.jpg Alisson actually hesitates before coming to get this, thinking it was going out. https://i.imgur.com/8Qwsgtb.png Instead he jumps around the Burnley player to keep the ball in play. https://i.imgur.com/hmGgdur.png As soon as he does Salah is pointing where he wants it. He's hungry for another goal in the 92nd minute. https://i.imgur.com/0MAYEI2.png Alisson releases it to Sturridge, who plays a wonderfully disguised ball for Salah. He drops it in an area where the Burnley defender is either going to have to come for it (and thus leave Shaqiri unmarked) or drop back and let Salah have a free run at the goal. https://i.imgur.com/iYzVCgP.png An outside of the boot pass later and Shaqiri is free to fire into the back of the net.

Thoughts

Line Up

Well then. That was unexpected. Klopp rests Robertson and Trent, brings in Henderson, Milner, and Keita into the midfield, and plays a completely new front three.

The formation is an interesting one. I thought it was a 4-3-3, I've seen the stats sites give it as a 4-4-2, it could have been a 4-3-2-1 with Origi and Shaqiri in behind Sturridge. Either way it was a bit of a shock.

Sturridge and Origi

I'm interested to get opinions on how they performed. I thought Origi had the better first half, he was dropping deep to get the ball and play it on. However, Sturridge clearly had the better second half, and overall had the better stat line.

Bournemouth

In many ways, Klopp has worked himself into a bit of a conundrum. I think Fabinho and Keita have both done more than enough to be in conention. Does he go with them as a partnership or does he have to put someone else in to help out? He might go like this:

Alisson; Trent, Lovren, van Dijk, Robertson; Keita, Henderson, Fabinho; Salah, Firmino, Mané

Our next fixture is against Bournemouth in the Premier League. The match kicks off on the 8th of December at 12:30PM(GMT)/07:30AM(ET).

Submitted December 06, 2018 at 06:34PM by voliton via reddit https://ift.tt/2BTSjp8

[mhmmdnadeem]

My first original long joke called "Luck"

When I was young, I was always lucky. When I was five, my mom asked me to give 6 numbers for the lottery. “8, 13, 27, 29, 30, 31” I said. Without any hesitation, my mom punched those numbers on the lottery ticket and hoped for the best. Later that night, my whole family was watching the lottery on the television.

“The winning numbers are 8!” The announcer said.

“Five more numbers and I’m a millionaire!” my mom said with a big smile on her face.

“13!” The announcer continued. My dad, who believed throughout his whole life that the lottery is rigged by politicians, suddenly looked towards the television. It was as if he knew that we were going to win.

“27!” We already have half of the winning numbers. My family wasn’t really that rich, so winning the lottery would be a big help.

“29!” Is it really going to happen? Are we really going to win ₱80,000,000?”

“30!” One more number! The least amount we could get now is ₱50,000. Getting 5 out of the 6 winning numbers is already a big achievement in itself. Even if we don’t win, getting 5 winning numbers was already a testament on how lucky I was.

It was as if God heard me and answered with a big “Okay”.

“32!” Silence filled the room. My dad slowly looked away from the television and started reading his book once again. The smile in my mom’s face quickly disappeared as she stood up and went to sleep. Meanwhile, I was still very proud of my achievement. 5 out of 6 was unbelievably good. The next day, I bragged to my classmates that I had an 83.33333% guess rate. Most of my classmates were like “Whoa, that’s amazing” but one classmate of mine asked “Then what happened to the other 16.66666%?”

That guy’s name was Calvin. Up until high school, he was considered as the “Shotgun King”. He would just shotgun any major test but still end up with a 100% grade. He was one of the few people in the world that were luckier than me. At age 11, he already won the 6/55 Grand Lotto four times, and he wasn’t only lucky with the lottery, he was lucky with everything. Five months ago, he won a 2017 Audi A3 Sedan. Three months ago, he won a Mercedes-Benz AMG 43, and about a week ago, he won a Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor. He won all these via raffle. There were a lot of doubts about his wins since not even the Philippine Air Force has an F-22.

I haven’t been participating in any more raffles since my mom said that I should focus on my studies. While walking to class, I saw this flyer that said about a raffle with the 1st prize of a Samsung Refrigerator. It was the perfect time to test out my luck skills, besides, my family would extremely benefit from a new refrigerator. While I was putting my raffle entries inside the drop box, someone patted my shoulder.

“Hey Kyle!” the guy said. It was Calvin.

“Hey Calvin, what’s up?” I said.

“You’re entering the raffle too?” He asked.

“Yeah man, it’s been a long time since I won something.” I answered.

“Well good luck.” He said. “I’m joining the raffle too, so the chances of you winning are slim.”

After two days, it was already raffle day. I was positive that I would win, so I sat in front, near where the results were going to be announced.

One by one, the results were slowly announced, starting from the 5th prize.

“The 5th prize goes to Earl Cayanan!”

“The 4th prize goes to Mary Ann Severino!”

“The 3rd prize goes to John Paul Melecio!”

“The 2nd prize goes to Harold Eugenio!”

Finally, it was the time for the 1st prize. In the corner of my eye, I suddenly saw Calvin talking to some security guards. I smell something fishy going on.

“And for the 1st prize, congratulations to Calvin Tolentino!”

Calvin quickly ran up the stage. I didn’t believe the results so I ran up to Calvin, but on the way, two security guards stopped me. I didn’t give up. I shouted: “I’m the real winner, not you! The whole raffle was rigged!” One security guard then grabbed his gun and smacked its base to my head. I passed out.

I then woke up in a hospital room with an old lady whom I’ve never met before, sitting beside me.

“So, do you want to beat Calvin?” She asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked in return.

“I can make you win the next major raffle.”

“How?” I quickly asked as I was interested.

“Well, the next raffle has a bottle made out of diamonds as its first prize. If sold, it could be as expensive as ₱850,000,000.”

“Okay so how do I win it?”

“Hold your horses, young boy, that’s not the real first prize. You shouldn’t win the bottle, but instead, go to the host right after the program has ended. He will give you the keys to the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’ or WARR for short.”

“The what?”

“Okay, this might sound crazy but there is a robot that can make you win all raffle you enter. It’s called the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’.”

“So how does it work?” I asked out of curiosity.

“No one knows, it was sent by God during the 1300’s. What I do now is that whoever has the WARR would never lose a raffle. Your friend Calvin was just really lucky, but with the WARR, you’d be more than lucky.”

“But how would I be sure that the host would give it to me?”

“Well, he is my son.”

“How is he your son?”

“I gave birth to him.”

Since this conversation seemed like it wouldn’t lead to anything useful anymore, I packed my things and left the hospital. Moments later, I saw a flyer that caught my eye.

“Win a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle worth ₱850,000,000. All you have to do is enter the raffle to have a chance.”

Maybe this was the raffle the old lady was talking about. I quickly went to the raffle booth and entered.

“The raffle draw will be in an hour, sir.” The clerk said. “You can meanwhile sit in our Waiting Area.”

Inside the Waiting Area were chairs, tables, and a television showing a replay of the 2021 NBA Finals. It’s crazy how the Lakers won it in 6 games. Joel Embiid was such a beast for Philadelphia but they still weren’t able to pull it off.

After an hour, I left the waiting room and sat in the front row near the stage where the raffle will be drawn. Slowly, people started coming and the seats started to fill up.

It was time.

The host came out of the curtains and picked one raffle ticket in the spinning jar.

“The 5th prize which is a 1942 Zero Japanese fighter plane, goes to Erika Sanchez!”

“The 4th prize, which is an authentic piece of the Shroud of Turin, goes to Francois LeBourgeoisie!” I can’t believe the host mispronounces his name.

“The 3rd prize, which is the original copy of the Indian epic, the Ramayana, goes to Juan Tiu-Tres.”

“The 2nd prize, which is a legitimate metal shard from the 1947 Roswell UFO Crash goes to Zack Dimagiba.

“And finally, the event you’ve all been waiting for, the 1st prize which is a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle goes to…Calvin Tolentino!”

“What?!” I shouted as I jumped off my seat.

Someone then suddenly patted my back. It was Calvin.

“It’s okay Kyle, you’ll get your chance.” Calvin said.

I was about to punch him in the face but I suddenly remembered that I never really intended to win the 1st prize, so before Calvin went to the stage to claim his prize, I told him: “Hey Calvin!”

“Yes Kyle?” He said with an intimidating smile to his face.

I moved closer to him, stared him in the eye, and softly said: “You may have won the bottle, but you haven’t won the WARR.”

submitted by /u/PlatinumRaptor95 [link] [comments] from Jokes http://ift.tt/2vbo0IE via IFTTT

[winrepl0l1l0]

My first original long joke called "Luck"

When I was young, I was always lucky. When I was five, my mom asked me to give 6 numbers for the lottery. “8, 13, 27, 29, 30, 31” I said. Without any hesitation, my mom punched those numbers on the lottery ticket and hoped for the best. Later that night, my whole family was watching the lottery on the television.

“The winning numbers are 8!” The announcer said.

“Five more numbers and I’m a millionaire!” my mom said with a big smile on her face.

“13!” The announcer continued. My dad, who believed throughout his whole life that the lottery is rigged by politicians, suddenly looked towards the television. It was as if he knew that we were going to win.

“27!” We already have half of the winning numbers. My family wasn’t really that rich, so winning the lottery would be a big help.

“29!” Is it really going to happen? Are we really going to win ₱80,000,000?”

“30!” One more number! The least amount we could get now is ₱50,000. Getting 5 out of the 6 winning numbers is already a big achievement in itself. Even if we don’t win, getting 5 winning numbers was already a testament on how lucky I was.

It was as if God heard me and answered with a big “Okay”.

“32!” Silence filled the room. My dad slowly looked away from the television and started reading his book once again. The smile in my mom’s face quickly disappeared as she stood up and went to sleep. Meanwhile, I was still very proud of my achievement. 5 out of 6 was unbelievably good. The next day, I bragged to my classmates that I had an 83.33333% guess rate. Most of my classmates were like “Whoa, that’s amazing” but one classmate of mine asked “Then what happened to the other 16.66666%?”

That guy’s name was Calvin. Up until high school, he was considered as the “Shotgun King”. He would just shotgun any major test but still end up with a 100% grade. He was one of the few people in the world that were luckier than me. At age 11, he already won the 6/55 Grand Lotto four times, and he wasn’t only lucky with the lottery, he was lucky with everything. Five months ago, he won a 2017 Audi A3 Sedan. Three months ago, he won a Mercedes-Benz AMG 43, and about a week ago, he won a Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor. He won all these via raffle. There were a lot of doubts about his wins since not even the Philippine Air Force has an F-22.

I haven’t been participating in any more raffles since my mom said that I should focus on my studies. While walking to class, I saw this flyer that said about a raffle with the 1st prize of a Samsung Refrigerator. It was the perfect time to test out my luck skills, besides, my family would extremely benefit from a new refrigerator. While I was putting my raffle entries inside the drop box, someone patted my shoulder.

“Hey Kyle!” the guy said. It was Calvin.

“Hey Calvin, what’s up?” I said.

“You’re entering the raffle too?” He asked.

“Yeah man, it’s been a long time since I won something.” I answered.

“Well good luck.” He said. “I’m joining the raffle too, so the chances of you winning are slim.”

After two days, it was already raffle day. I was positive that I would win, so I sat in front, near where the results were going to be announced.

One by one, the results were slowly announced, starting from the 5th prize.

“The 5th prize goes to Earl Cayanan!”

“The 4th prize goes to Mary Ann Severino!”

“The 3rd prize goes to John Paul Melecio!”

“The 2nd prize goes to Harold Eugenio!”

Finally, it was the time for the 1st prize. In the corner of my eye, I suddenly saw Calvin talking to some security guards. I smell something fishy going on.

“And for the 1st prize, congratulations to Calvin Tolentino!”

Calvin quickly ran up the stage. I didn’t believe the results so I ran up to Calvin, but on the way, two security guards stopped me. I didn’t give up. I shouted: “I’m the real winner, not you! The whole raffle was rigged!” One security guard then grabbed his gun and smacked its base to my head. I passed out.

I then woke up in a hospital room with an old lady whom I’ve never met before, sitting beside me.

“So, do you want to beat Calvin?” She asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked in return.

“I can make you win the next major raffle.”

“How?” I quickly asked as I was interested.

“Well, the next raffle has a bottle made out of diamonds as its first prize. If sold, it could be as expensive as ₱850,000,000.”

“Okay so how do I win it?”

“Hold your horses, young boy, that’s not the real first prize. You shouldn’t win the bottle, but instead, go to the host right after the program has ended. He will give you the keys to the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’ or WARR for short.”

“The what?”

“Okay, this might sound crazy but there is a robot that can make you win all raffle you enter. It’s called the ‘Win All Raffles Robot’.”

“So how does it work?” I asked out of curiosity.

“No one knows, it was sent by God during the 1300’s. What I do now is that whoever has the WARR would never lose a raffle. Your friend Calvin was just really lucky, but with the WARR, you’d be more than lucky.”

“But how would I be sure that the host would give it to me?”

“Well, he is my son.”

“How is he your son?”

“I gave birth to him.”

Since this conversation seemed like it wouldn’t lead to anything useful anymore, I packed my things and left the hospital. Moments later, I saw a flyer that caught my eye.

“Win a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle worth ₱850,000,000. All you have to do is enter the raffle to have a chance.”

Maybe this was the raffle the old lady was talking about. I quickly went to the raffle booth and entered.

“The raffle draw will be in an hour, sir.” The clerk said. “You can meanwhile sit in our Waiting Area.”

Inside the Waiting Area were chairs, tables, and a television showing a replay of the 2021 NBA Finals. It’s crazy how the Lakers won it in 6 games. Joel Embiid was such a beast for Philadelphia but they still weren’t able to pull it off.

After an hour, I left the waiting room and sat in the front row near the stage where the raffle will be drawn. Slowly, people started coming and the seats started to fill up.

It was time.

The host came out of the curtains and picked one raffle ticket in the spinning jar.

“The 5th prize which is a 1942 Zero Japanese fighter plane, goes to Erika Sanchez!”

“The 4th prize, which is an authentic piece of the Shroud of Turin, goes to Francois LeBourgeoisie!” I can’t believe the host mispronounces his name.

“The 3rd prize, which is the original copy of the Indian epic, the Ramayana, goes to Juan Tiu-Tres.”

“The 2nd prize, which is a legitimate metal shard from the 1947 Roswell UFO Crash goes to Zack Dimagiba.

“And finally, the event you’ve all been waiting for, the 1st prize which is a 700-year-old Venetian Diamond Wine Bottle goes to…Calvin Tolentino!”

“What?!” I shouted as I jumped off my seat.

Someone then suddenly patted my back. It was Calvin.

“It’s okay Kyle, you’ll get your chance.” Calvin said.

I was about to punch him in the face but I suddenly remembered that I never really intended to win the 1st prize, so before Calvin went to the stage to claim his prize, I told him: “Hey Calvin!”

“Yes Kyle?” He said with an intimidating smile to his face.

I moved closer to him, stared him in the eye, and softly said: “You may have won the bottle, but you haven’t won the WARR.”

submitted by /u/PlatinumRaptor95 [visit reddit] [comments]