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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years ago

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A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #amwriting #writingupdates

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alexhogh7137 · 4 years ago

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The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight: The Scare

Word Count 3k

Warnings: slight angst, heavy fluff

The day after your father's attempt to end your life, you finally gave your best friend a proper burial. You and her mother wept the entirety of that day which you knew was bound to happen. You lost Thyra and you can never bring her back, but her mother informed you continuously that it was not your fault. But deep down, you will always feel a sense of guilt because the man that took her life was none other than your own father. Nonetheless, she is in a better place and is having the best time with the gods above, which brings you as well as her mother, some comfort to this tragedy. After Thyra was buried, her mother went back to Wessex, but not without having this conversation with you:

Helga "Thank you, Y/n. The burial was beautiful."

"Mmm, I am glad that I could do that for her. She did not deserve this." You began to cry again.

Helga "No she didn't, but in the end, she died for what she felt was the right thing to do."

"I would much rather have her here than her gone, Helga. She did not have to sacrifice herself-"

Helga "Your father didn't give her that chance. He killed her because she never left your side. She loved you, she still loves you."

You sniffle, "I loved her all the same. She was my sister, even if we weren't blood, she was always my sister." She nods and wipes a tear off of your cheek.

Helga "And you were hers, my sweet girl."

"Well on the plus side of life as we know it, the king is dead and Wessex will be safe again."

Helga "Oh, that is wonderful isn't it?" You nod, "But who will rule the kingdom?" You still have not thought of the concept because of all of the chaos, so you do not know what to say to her.

"I-For right now, I would like for you to gather a list of good men and women that you think will suit for being in charge, and send me the list. Once I have the letter, I will return to Wessex and give the final decision."

Helga "In charge?"

"Exactly. You see, they will not be a king nor a queen but the kingdom needs a sense of guidance and leadership in order to stay a kingdom." She nods, "But I will return every chance I get to check on everyone, especially you Helga." She smiles, "And as for a king or queen, my daughter will be queen of Wessex when she is of age."

Helga "Oh Y/n, that is so wonderful!"

You smile, "Yes. But my ruling is beside my husband. Wherever he is, I am. Ivar is the king of Kattegat, therefore I am the queen of Kattegat."

Helga "I understand."

"So, when the time comes, my daughter will rule with honor and dignity."

Helga "And so she shall."

"Now, you get home safely, yes?"

Helga "Yes. Thank you again sweetheart."

"You are so welcome." You hug and say your goodbyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five Days Later…

Ivar has sent a letter to the prince of Kiev to ask for his approval of traveling to visit. It is only a waiting game as of now.

Hvitserk "He is just going to love you, Y/n."

"Oh yeah?"

Hvitserk "Yes. He is a sucker for beauty such as yours." He caresses your cheek, making you blush.

Ivar "Yes but this time, I will be going there with my own queen." He smiles.

"A very pregnant queen, at that." You say as you rub your growing belly and sigh because you feel huge. You still have a few months to go before your little goddess joins the world but you think to yourself, 'how am I going to get any bigger than this?!'

Ivar "You are glowing, my sweet. You are more than perfect."

"Thank you, my love." He leans down and kisses your lips, "I'm just so excited to meet her."

Hvitserk "She will bring so much joy to our lives."

Ivar "Oh that is certain. As soon as she is born, she will be a new and bright, shining light in all of our lives." You smile at the thought. You and baby girl have gone through so much together and she hasn't even been born yet. She will be told stories about how strong she is and she will learn of her legacy and past ancestors. She will know all and then she will make her own story, create a wonderful life for herself, as you did.

Hvitserk stands up from sitting down on a tree stump and walks over to join his brother in eating some chicken wings. You use your belly as a table as you snack on little bits of whatever you could find. You catch Ivar just staring at you and smirking.

"What?"

Ivar "Oh nothing." Hvitserk chuckles.

"What is it? You were staring."

Ivar "What?! I cannot stare at my beautiful wife?" He shouts, making you giggle.

"But I am just eating, how can I be-"

Hvitserk "It does not matter, you are always beautiful, Y/n." You don't know what to say. They make you feel so special and so loved that you are lost for words most of the time.

"Thank you, Hvitserk." He winks at you and continues to eat. After a few minutes, Ubbe and Torvi come join you three outside, enjoying the weather. Today is the first warm day of the year which brings your heart joy and warmth.

Torvi "Uh, it is so lovely today." She says as she sits down next to you.

"It is."

Ubbe "Maybe it will melt the little snow that we have left."

"I'm sure that my dragons are enjoying this weather.." you say as you look over at them, playing with each other.

Ivar "Mm, do you remember when they experienced their first snowfall, my love?"

"Oh of course I do. They were so small." You smile at the memory, "Their eyes sparkled!"

Ivar smiles, "It was the cutest thing!"

Hvitserk "Where was I?"

"On a trade shipment with Ubbe." He nods as if he remembered.

Hvitserk "Now we have new memories with them-"

Ubbe "And many more to come, aye?!"

You smile, "They are such a blessing, aren't they?"

Torvi "A true gift from the gods, just like your daughter." She places her hand on your belly.

"Mmm." That's all you can say, really. You are just so grateful to be carrying this miracle child in your core that you can only say the bare minimum.

Ubbe "So, has Prince Oleg sent a letter yet?"

Ivar "Not yet. He will though, I am sure of it."

Hvitserk "Will you be coming with us, brother?" Ubbe looks over at Torvi and she looks saddened. She hates it when Ubbe is gone for long periods of time, and if he were to go, he would not be home for two weeks. So Ubbe thinks for a moment before answering his brother.

Ubbe "I do not think so."

Ivar "And why is that?"

Ubbe "Because I would like to stay home with my wife and children." Torvi smiles.

Ivar nods, "I see, well, will you look after Kattegat while we are away, huh?"

Ubbe "Of course." You three spend some time together before you all had to attend to your responsibilities.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Few Hours Later…

"Do you hear that?" Ivar looks over at where the sound is coming from and nods.

Ivar "You go inside and rest-"

You and Ivar have been helping around the village: checking in your people, feeding them and making sure of their wellbeing, while Hvitserk and Ubbe tended to the hunting. You were just about to go inside to rest your body when you heard commotion going on by your dragon's resting rock.

"No, I can rest later." You don't let him respond before you walk off and towards your dragon's. Once you see what the noise was, you were infuriated.

"Hey! They are not toys, get off of them!" To your shock, there are children attempting to get on top of your dragon's, making them very irritated.

Ivar "Aye, you four, c'mere!" Once Ivar joined your side, the kids left your dragon's alone. When the four boys got in front of you two, they could not look either of you in the eye.

"Why would you do that to them? They are not a playground."

"I am sorry, my queen." They said.

"You could have gotten seriously hurt, boys. I care for your safety, as well as my dragon's safety. So please, do not attempt to get on them anymore. Do you promise?"

"We promise." The eldest one said for the four of them.

"Right...you boys run along now." They scatter as soon as you give the order. But soon enough, their parents come to you, begging for their forgiveness.

Ivar "The only person or person's allowed on those dragon's are your queen and I."

"I understand completely, my king." The mother said, "I turned away from them for a second and-"

"They are fast kids." The father said.

"I understand, truly I do. Anything can happen in a matter of minutes or even in the matter of seconds. Your children could have gotten seriously hurt."

Ivar "It is a good thing that your queen heard them in time."

"And I am forever in your debt, my queen." The mother said.

"All I ask from you is to keep a better eye on your boys. I might not be able to come to their aid the next time something occurs."

Ivar "In fact, isn't that your job, hmm? As their parents, you two should watch over them and keep them safe, no?"

"Yes!" They both said.

Ivar "Then keep them safe by keeping them close. If those dragon's weren't kind and gentle, your children could have been eaten in seconds. Do you understand?" They nod.

"Good. Now, I suggest you inform them of what we told you."

"Of course, my queen." The father said.

"Very well, if you'll excuse me." You walk past them and towards your dragon's who are very agitated. You place your hand up for them to sniff you. Once they do, their senses calm instantly.

…

"I know, I'm here." Neith lays her head down by your feet so that you can pet her scales.

"I won't let anyone use you as their playground. Any of you." You say as you look over at your boys. They blink at you so that you know that they understand you.

"Tomorrow, we can go flying, how does that sound?" All three of them bolt their heads upwards in a playful manner.

"I will take that as a yes." You laugh. You feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

Ivar "Are they okay now?"

"They are. They were just confused is all."

Ivar "Mm, I could only imagine how that made them feel."

"I told them that I would fly with them tomorrow. We haven't done that in such a long time..just me and them."

Ivar nods and kisses your forehead, "Just be safe while you fly, hmm?"

"I will." He smiles and takes you inside for the both of you to rest.

As night fell, all you could think about is taking a warm bath and then placing your head on a cold pillow and falling asleep. Your feet were swollen and your legs felt like they were going to break in half so you figured that a warm bath would suffice. Therefore, you asked for a maiden to run one for you, to which she obliged.

Ivar pulls you into his side while you wait for the water to fill up. When you are in his arms, you forget all about being sore.

Ivar "A bath will help, my sweet."

"Mm, I know."

Ivar "Oh look," he looks at the entrance, "the idiot's are back."

"Hey.." he laughs.

Ivar "Sorry, I know." Hvitserk smiles as soon as he locks eyes with the mother of his daughter. He makes his way over to you and he sees how swollen you are and he frowns.

Hvitserk "Are you alright?"

"Oh I am fine. Just been on my feet for too long. The maiden's are running me a bath."

Hvitserk "Oh good." He kisses your head.

Ivar "Any big catch today, my brothers?"

Ubbe "Three deer, a few rabbits.."

Ivar "That is good. Now that it is getting warmer, more food to catch aye?"

Ubbe nods, "That is true."

"My queen, your bath is ready."

"Wonderful, thank you dear." She bows and tends to other matters. "I will be out soon."

Ivar "Do you need help getting in, my love?"

"I think that I can manage." You offer a warm smile before wobbling your way to the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you undress to get into the tub, you realize how hard it is to balance by yourself. Your feet are the size of pumpkins *to you, they feel like they are* and your legs feel like they are about to go numb from the aching. You try and hurry to get yourself into the tub before you physically can't do it yourself. But in rushing, you fall short of breath and have to take a breather by the vanity. You look at yourself in the mirror and realize that this feeling is not a burden, it is a pleasure to be able carry a human within you. This calms down your breathing but you hear a knock on the door, making you hurry up to cover yourself.

"Uhm, who is it?"

Hvitserk "It is me."

"Oh, come in." When he enters, he offers a small smile.

Hvitserk "I had to come to see if you made it in safely..."

You sigh, "I am kind of glad that you did."

Hvitserk "How can I help?"

"I can't get the back of my dress." He walks over and undoes your dress and helps you into the tub without hesitation. "Thank you." Your eyes begin to close as the warmth of the water sinks into your skin and through your bones. Hvitserk kneels down and sits by the tub.

Hvitserk "Of course, kitten. I'll always be there to help you."

"And I will do the same for you, Hvitserk." He giggles, "What?"

Hvitserk "Nothing, sweetheart. You are just so sweet is all."

"I try to be. All of the time...it's draining.." you sigh as he begins to play with your hair.

Hvitserk "I know this to be true. I try to be as kind as you but sometimes it gets me nowhere.."

"I suppose I am the way I am because of my parents."

Hvitserk "That is why. Our parents shape us, but our pain and suffering strengthens us."

"You are right."

Hvitserk smiles, "Are you feeling a little better now?"

"You always make me feel better Hvitserk."

Hvitserk chuckles, "No I meant, is the bath helping you."

"Oh, yes it is. Thank gods.."

Hvitserk nods, "Good. That makes me happy, love. But, I will be outside if you need me, I am starving." He kisses your head.

"Okay." You say as you laugh. As he leaves, you can't stop smiling.

When you get out of the tub, your muscles are so relaxed that you had to force yourself to get out of the warm bath to get to your bed. You can't take the chance of falling asleep submerged in water, gods know what could have happened if you did. So without hesitation, you got out of your bath and slipped on a soft robe and made your way to the door. As you open it, Ivar is waiting for you on the bed.

Ivar "My sweet, how was your bath?"

"It was divine!"

Ivar "Mm, that is good." He smiles and then he frowns.

"Ivar, what is it?"

Ivar "Nothing Y/n, I've come to the realization that Hvitserk has not had the pleasure of your company in quite some time."

"Oh, yes I know. Just with the battle and everything, I needed to be by my husband's side at all times." He smiles and kisses your lips.

Ivar "I love you so much, do you know that?"

"I do, I know it well. I love you too, beloved." He kisses you again but more passionately, making you both moan.

Ivar "You go ahead. You can sleep with him tonight if you'd like."

"Are you certain?"

Ivar "Absolutely. I always seem to forget that that little princess in there is not truthfully mine, she is my brother's-"

"She is still your daughter, Ivar. Just in a different way."

Ivar smiles from ear to ear, "I know she is, but I have to be kind...you taught me to be kind and loving. So, yes..go be with him tonight. If you need me, you know where to find me."

"Sweet dreams, my love." You kiss him once again.

Ivar "You as well, princess." You are so happy that Ivar said those words because you were hoping to be with Hvitserk tonight. You haven't been in his arms since the night before the battle. With great haste, you made your way to Hvitserk's room. He was already in a sleep state when you opened the door and found him on his bed.

Hvitserk "Hey..is every-"

"I just wanted to be with you tonight, is that okay?" He rises from his position and opens his arms for you. You allow him to engulf you with his arms and immediately feel a sense of tranquility run through your body.

Hvitserk "I was hoping that you would be with me tonight. It's been so long."

"I know. Ivar suggested it because we have not been able too, so I was not going to refuse his offer." You laugh.

Hvitserk "I am glad that you are here, kitten." He kisses your head but you pull his face down and towards your lips. He captures them with love and affection. It feels like the very first time he ever kissed you and that feeling is one of the best feelings that you have ever experienced.

Hvitserk "I love you."

"And I love you back." He smiles and kisses you again. After a while, you both fell asleep in each other's embrace. Today had its obstacles, but it ended in a wonderful way.

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @a-mess-of-fandoms @herestherealproblem @saldelys @heavenly1927 @conaionaru

#the battle between love and fire #alex hogh andersen #hvitserk #vikings #ivar the boneless #ubbe lothbrok #marco ilsoe #ivar the god #ivar lothbrok #hvitserk lothbrok #torvi vikings

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tyranttortoise · 5 years ago

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Do you have a word count you aim for for each chapter of SSLL? I wanna write a full length fic but I have no idea how long each chapter should be

I aim for a minimum of 6k usually, though the ones with ALL of the skeletons in it usually break 10k. A lot of opinions about chapter length vary, but I just suggest writing an amount you're comfortable with, without adding extra padding just to hit a specific word count. I just write the scenes I have in mind and then see where I am. I do usually recommend at least 3k per chapter, though, just because less than that doesn't give too much substance. I think that's what I did for my Oceanfell fic. I could've had it be one long chapter, but it was easier on me to stop after a specific scene for that one, since it's got kinda a continuous flow, whereas SSLL jumps from trope to date to arc through the chapters.

#the tortoise talks #personal #fanfic advice #nhc #answering this on mobile

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firjii · 5 years ago

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Alternative goals/approaches to strict NaNoWriMo that might be obvious but I'm saying them anyway in case they’re not

Yes hello again, it's your friendly neighborhood "wild horses couldn't drag me back to writing and yet I do still write sometimes" recluse.

Given how often I've talked about the physical (not just psychological) toll that extreme amounts of writing can take, y'all can probably guess my opinions on NaNo: it's an admirable concept but no way in hell would I ever participate. Aside from a joke or two, I usually go a bit quiet when that special time rolls around again because a) I'm not your mother, and b) my specific personal experience is a fairly extreme example of burnout (so for all I know, there are people out there who cheerfully finish NaNo without incident).

But I know that setting goals, practicing an interest/hobby/skill, and making progress are still, y'know, important and very human things. NaNo is very serious business to some people. To some of us, it can even tread somewhere near a pseudomeasurement of job skills (the jury’s out on that in practice, but since some of y'all do actually write or edit for a living, I get it).

So instead of trying to dissuade people from trying NaNo, I humbly suggest these alternatives (especially if you haven't done this event before).

Do a "half nano."

A lot of people start strong and can manage until the halfway mark but get stuck or tired after the first 2-3 weeks. Variant: stretch the halfway goal out over the whole month.

As someone who actually has plenty of free time to write, I promise that 50k words in a month is really, really pushing it even in the most optimal circumstances (when I was completely unemployed, I'd commonly spend at least 5 hours a day 5-6 days a week on writing and still only got anywhere near that kind of number...maybe twice in 5 years??). I understand that the minimum length of a finished novel does tend to be at least 50k words and the hope is to basically write a whole book in a month, but a lot of people don’t hit 50k anyway. Some of us can deal with 25k in a month just fine. 25k is still a hell of a lot of words and a hell of an achievement.

Still look like too much? Try 10k in a month. You'll still be participating in the spirit of the challenge and you'll have more opportunities to really step back and think about the words you’re writing.

Make a daily or weekly writing goal for the month, but don't also lock yourself into word counts.

Have a bunch of unfinished chapters? Make finishing a chapter your goal. Have unfinished scenes or ones that don't connect to each other? Make connecting the dots your goal. This might mean the finishing touches or it might mean a big slab of words, but chances are that it's more manageable than starting from absolutely nothing. Personally for me, reconciling unrelated ideas was usually a lot more satisfying than mindlessly bloating my progress with words that didn't really serve much purpose.

Here's a wild one. Do you really, really, REALLY struggle with outlines or planning on longer fics? Take an entire month just to plan a longfic out.

It'll still be an achievement (ngl there's a chance you won't finish it if it's that detailed or you're like me and genuinely have that much trouble with that aspect of writing, but you'll still probably get an excellent start on it). You'll be doing yourself a great service for some other point down the road when you want to actually write the fic.

If you have writing/editing experience and want to get involved with NaNo but don't want to write, consider being a beta or hanging around a community where you can give your advice/experience/support during NaNo.

One tiny comment or pinch of encouragement can go a very long way. (Obviously doesn’t need to be limited to NaNo but I’m wording it like this in case you’re easily stressed and don’t want to/can’t commit to anything beyond that one month a year for whatever reason).

Do a full nano but don't also lock yourself into daily/weekly word count averages.

That should be obvious, but for some reason it isn't. This is indeed a way to chip away at the big scary beast, but it's actually super unrealistic for a lot of people and IMO it can just make you fear word counts. 300 really crafted words mean more than 5k of disorganized rambling.

Did you write 3k (or any other number that's big compared to your average output) yesterday? Great, so take today and maybe also tomorrow off, you earned it. Even if you're really fueled with inspiration, it's not unusual to feel absolutely hungover the day after a big writing session. That feeling tends to compound after a few really productive days in close succession. The human brain does try to sort out problems 24/7 but it still needs a decent chance to do that and sometimes this means skipping a day or two here and there.

Or if you need extended amounts of time for writing or rest, do alternating weeks instead. This does mean doubling up in the weeks when you're writing, but some people work very well with having longer breaks in between like that.

#writing advice #fanfic woes #nanowrimo #writing problems #writer problems

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namjuicyy · 6 years ago

Text

Three’s A Crowd - Chapter Four

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut.

Genre of this part: Angst.

Word Count: 3k.

Summary: Your childhood friend shows you a whole new world, but no one expected what came afterwards.

Warnings: This chapter is going to get quite dark. If you are triggered by anything related to depression, low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, addictions and eating disorders, I would highly recommend not reading this chapter. I also want to add that I am not a doctor, and I am not seriously diagnosing Jimin with an eating disorder. This is just for the purpose of my story. Do not read too much into this.

Thank you. Please enjoy.

No one realised there was anything wrong until it was too late. It wasn't through lack of love because Jimin was surrounded by people who loved him. He was just getting good at lying to those around him convincingly. Jimin couldn't exactly pinpoint where everything was going wrong. All he knows is that he would look at himself in promotional photos and photos of him during childhood and see a person who looked like him, but wasn't him. He was bigger than he should have been. Everyone else around him was slim and well-built, but Jimin had puffy cheeks, and his abs weren't as defined as they could have been.

Take Jeon Jungkook, for example. Since debut, Jungkook had only been getting bigger but in the best ways. His shoulders were getting broader, his biceps were much thicker, his chest was more defined as were his abs. His thighs were man thighs, and his voice was so much deeper than Jimin's. Jimin envied that. Jungkook was a man, and next to him, Jimin felt like a scrawny little nobody. And on the flipside, though Yoongi wasn't exactly buff, he still looked good because he was small. Bigger was only better if you could see muscle. And Jimin couldn't see the muscle on him – not as he wanted to.

It started becoming out of control when Jimin would stay at the gym longer than his members. Jungkook would hit the showers, too tired to continue and would leave Jimin alone, believing his promise that he was going to finish this set and he'd join him too. Jungkook was at Hobi's studio long before Jimin had worn himself out and was standing in the shower. He could barely stand, could hardly wash himself. He was that tired and his muscles hurt. But it was fine, he told himself that it would all be worth it in the end.

"I ate earlier." Was the phrase that would often come out of his mouth when his members tried feeding him. When staffs would arrive at dance practise with snacks and sweets, Jimin would hang back claiming he'd eaten too much at lunchtime and that he needed to work on this one bit of dance anyway so he'd just continue with that while everyone else ate. Knowing he was a perfectionist, his brothers shrugged it off and continued eating, paying him no mind, believing that he'd eaten a lot. Jimin would do that occasionally. Sometimes he'd order three paninis for lunch instead of one, because he could decide on the flavour he wanted. Or he'd help himself to an extra bowl of ramen or rice because he felt like the first two helpings didn't hit the right spots. And Jin always looked at him so happily when he saw his dongsaengs doing that. It gave him a feeling of pride that everyone enjoyed his cooking that much. So, of course, they gave Jimin the benefit of the doubt and left him to it. But again, he would stay later than everyone else to practise the latest choreography just so he could get it perfect for Army – and for himself.

He'd learnt to fake a smile so convincing it was easy to trick his loved ones into thinking that everything was okay, that there wasn't anyone in his head telling him he was too fat, that he didn't see a monster every time he looked in the mirror. He had dropped his meals down to one a week, purely because he searched on Naver that that was the minimum a person could eat without dying – that was, of course, provided the person wasn't as active as Jimin. His trips to the gym frequented until he was going once in the morning and once at night. He was on the wrong machines, doing cardio when he shouldn't have been, but he didn't realise this. He kept dancing and dancing and dancing until he felt like he had nothing left to give. He was losing a lot of weight and noticeably so, as Army had commented on it. He was getting mixed reviews, but of course he listened to the wrong half of Army. The one side that praised his weight loss and commended him for his hard work.

Army had no idea what he was going through. Had they known, they would have sent him well wishes and told him that he looked perfect regardless of what the scales told him. Well, most of Army would have anyway. But, of course, Jimin had managed to hide it incredibly well from his members, who lived with him and saw him on a daily basis. If hiding it from them was easy enough, keeping it from Army was child's play.

His body finally gave out on him one day during practise. He'd missed too many meals, worked himself too hard. And in the mirror as they all practised, they watched as Jimin collapsed to the ground, falling unconscious before his body had even hit the wood. They were terrified. How could they not be? Their brother had just fainted on them and they had no idea why.

When Jimin woke up, he was lying in a hospital bed with his brothers around him, looking incredibly worried.

"The doctors told us you'd been starving yourself, Hyung." Jungkook said. He was angry, visibly so. But this anger was born out of pure, unadulterated fear for the health of his brother. This hit Jimin harder than the others being angry at him, purely because Jungkook's age was the same as his younger brother's. Jimin had always coddled Jungkook because of how much he and Jihyun were similar. "Why?"

"Jungkookie," Yoongi began, "anger isn't going to solve anything."

"Isn't it?" Jungkook's voice was a little louder now. "Because he almost died, Hyung. If we'd have gotten angry earlier then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"I'm so sorry." Jimin whispered. He was already starting to cry.

"You're sorry? We could have lost you today! Why, Hyung? Why would you do this? What good would it possibly do? How would we cope without you, huh?"

"Alright, big guy." Jin began. He wrapped his hand around Jungkook's bicep and started to pull him out of the room. "Let's take a walk, yeah?"

Jungkook, for lack of a better term, was dragged out of the hospital room kicking and screaming. He was livid. No one had ever seen him like this before. Hell, they hardly saw him cry. Yet there he was, himself in floods of tears, screaming at his brother for his reckless behaviour. Jungkook wasn't the type to show it easily, but he absolutely adored his hyungs, and this incident put in perspective just how fragile they could be, and that thought terrified him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jimin kept muttering. His heart kept shattering into a million pieces as he clutched onto Taehyung, who had taken it upon himself to rest on the bed next to his best friend and wrap him up in a protective hug. Jimin sobbed into Tae's neck, violent, choking sobs with his voice cracking as he tried to speak. Yoongi couldn't take it anymore, his own throat threatening to betray him. He took his leave, wandering into the bathroom so he could cry silently and not have to watch Jimin's heart rip to shreds.

Hobi had gripped hold of Jimin's leg and stroked it gently, tears forming in his own eyes as he tried to comfort his dongsaeng. Namjoon was holding onto Jimin's shoulder, trying his best to comfort Jimin too. There wasn't anything they could do, not until Jimin stopped crying at least. But even then, what could they do? There was obviously something going on in Jimin's head, and whenever that situation arises, there's nothing any outside source can do besides offer a shoulder to cry on and love. Words don't matter when you're breaking from the inside out, words can't save you.

When Jimin had calmed down a bit, they were all much gentler than they had been before. Jungkook had also calmed down, and had clutched onto Jimin's hand and refused to let it go. Even when Jin handed him a drink, he still refused to let go of Jimin's hand, opting for someone else to open the cap of the bottle rather than let go for a split second.

They were in the hospital for hours with Jimin, not talking about the thing that landed him in there in the first place. They wanted to cheer him up for a while. Or at least distract him until you came.

Jimin had no idea that you'd been called. He'd been out of it for about 12 hours. Not because of the initial collapse, but because his body lacked so much energy he just needed to sleep. So when he woke up, Taehyung's hand had been replaced with yours, and it was your face he first saw. He immediately started bawling again, completely disappointed with himself for letting you down like he did. You were his one pillar of strength. It was to you he usually turned to when he had a tough time. But even with this he felt like he couldn't talk to you about it, because he knew what you'd say. And he hated that he'd worry you.

You cried with him, hugged him to your chest and rocked him slightly like a baby. "Come on, Chim-Chim." You said gently. "Get them tears out. I've got you. You're safe."

The guys made fun of each other in an attempt to make Jimin laugh, and it worked for a while. He smiled and giggled along with you all. But, of course, the elephant in the room needed to be addressed.

You clutched onto his hand and rubbed it with your thumb. You looked him in the eye, and you softly spoke to him. "Chim-Chim, we need to know, why did you do this to yourself?"

Jimin, through tears, finally opened up and told you all everything. He spoke about the monsters in his head, the voices that told him he was worthless and pathetic and nowhere near as talented as everyone else. He compared himself to everyone, and clearly compared himself to Jungkook but refused to say his name because he didn't want to make Jungkook feel worse than he already did. He told you how he didn't look like himself – nor feel like it. And because of that he was scared of letting everyone down so he kept this to himself for months and months until his body keeled over and he almost lost his life.

Everyone cried as they listened to Jimin, and Yoongi even stayed in the room this time, something he never did. That really hit Jimin. He knew Yoongi was soft and sensitive, but he'd never seen Yoongi break like that before. He'd never seen you break like that before. The kisses you gave him were wet because your tears wiped off onto his face, all over his forehead and his cheeks. Like Jungkook, you didn't want to let go of his hand. You were too afraid that he might slip away so you had to keep him grounded.

Jimin, when he was released, went into therapy, and had you come in and sit with him during all of his sessions, holding his hand as he was diagnosed with bulimia and a gym addiction. And, within days, packages arrived at his house filled with books on his condition so you and the members could study it and get used to it so you could best help Jimin.

Numbers didn't exist to the house now, except for record sales and in regards to music. You all stopped letting Jimin go grocery shopping, and with every packaged product you bought, you blacked out the calorie count and the nutritional values so that he wouldn't see what he was eating. You started giving him small portions of the food that either you, Yoongi or Jin had cooked, and incredibly slowly, you gradually gave him more and more food to build his strength back up.

He was never allowed out of the house alone, and especially not to the gym. You, who loathed gyms, joined them so you could sit and watch Jimin, and discreetly timed him so that he still worked out as he needed to for his health, but did so at the bare minimum. You did this every day until Jimin could be trusted again.

And with the dance practises, you always made him eat something. Even if it was just a cookie or a handful of nuts, he was to eat something so that he could gain just that little bit of energy.

And when you found out, via Namjoon, that Bang Shihyuk wanted the boys to go on a diet, you flipped. No one, not even Jimin, had ever seen you that angry before. You stormed into his office and told him exactly what you thought of his plan and precisely where he could shove their diets. He was confused until a sheepish Jungkook pulled you out of his office to explain what happened. Bang PD apologised and abolished the idea of a diet for the time being, but couldn't lie that you'd made him pee his pants ever so slightly.

After that, to make sure that you'd stay in the country for longer than your tourist visa would allow, he hired you as the "Official Translator". He had to do everything above board like advertise the job and interview people, including you, but you got the job and bought a small bedsit not too far away from the guys so that you could see them every day and not have far to walk when they didn't offer you Jimin's bed for the night. Or Jungkook's for that matter. Though, to be honest a majority of the time you were in Jimin's bed cuddling him to sleep.

There were a few relapses to begin with. Jimin, being terrified of gaining weight, would look up the calorie intakes of branded food on Naver so that he could make the decision to attempt to skip meals. But his first attempt became his last as you threw the wooden spoon you were cooking with at him, and stole his phone while he was distracted. You put it in your bra, a place you knew he'd never get into so that he wouldn't have internet access, and essentially grounded him for his insolence. He was teased about that for weeks. Jungkook made comments about how he needed to watch his behaviour otherwise his mama would send him to bed.

"And for that, you little shit," you said, "no Overwatch for a week."

The smile on Jungkook's face washed away. "You can't do that."

"Watch me."

You went into his bedroom one day while he was out and disconnected his console, putting it in your bag and taking it home so that he couldn't sneakily plug it back in. When he came home, he wailed at you to put it back because he was so close to levelling up. For a week he moped and sulked like a teenager and Jimin was living for the punishment. He and Tae would purposefully sit and watch Let's Plays of Overwatch on the communal television, and turn the volume up whenever Jungkook was in the room. Each time he'd beg and plead with you, but, as you said, "one rule for one is one rule for all."

"Yeah and I'd like to see you lock Yoongi-hyung out of his studio for his behaviour." Jungkook stated as he threw himself down on the couch.

Yoongi, who was passing, chimed in. "She did. It sucked." He bit into his apple and walked out of the room again, not bothering to stick around for the rest of the conversation.

"Like I said, one rule for one is one rule for all."

"Angel, what did Yoongi-hyung do?" Jimin asked.

"He was working too hard and forgot that he needed to eat. So he hadn't eaten in three days. I kicked his ass and changed the password on his door. Let that be a lesson to each and every single one of you. No one in this house is dieting or overworking themselves, got it?"

Jimin had started to call you "Angel" one day out of the blue, and it confused you greatly. He never had a nickname for you before, so this was new territory and you didn't quite know how to feel about it.

"What did she say when you dropped that nickname on her?" The interviewer asked.

Jimin laughed. "She told me to shut up and stop calling her that. But, of course, I never listened."

"Is it true that Serendipity's about her?"

Jimin nodded. "I had no idea how to put what I wanted into words, so I asked Namjoonie-hyung to do it for me. I thought, at the time, he'd misinterpreted how she felt about me, because we weren't together then. He said," Jimin began to sing the lyrics:

Cause you love me, and I love you.

"I thought he was talking about either her platonic love for me, or even just that he misunderstood her feelings. Turns out he was right. She was just as in love with me as I was with her."

"But Yoongi was also in the picture. How?"

"Yoongi asked ___ out first. He, surprisingly, got the courage to go to her, and she accepted like I knew she would. They'd been sweet on each other since they met."

"When?"

"The MAMAs in Japan, 2018."

"It took him 8 years?"

"It took me about 13 years to tell her how I felt."

"So, how did it happen? What happened?"

"We'd just come off stage. Fake Love was a massive success as was Anpanman. We were all buzzing. ___ was there waiting for us..."

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jinjikook · 7 years ago

Text

Best Of Me (M)

🎃 word count: 3k

🎃 genre: smut + fluff ; domestic au

🎃 pairing: reader/jeongguk

🎃 warning(s)/kink(s): pet play, kitten + master, punishment, degradation, praise, oral sex, fingering, come eating, choking, bruising, use of collar + leash, aftercare

🎃 summary: you had just a few tasks to do at home and you forgot to complete them for your boyfriend/master; he seems to think a punishment is the most fitting way to treat the situation.

🎃 requested by: anon - “Kinktober... do you write pet play? If you do jungkook and his gf who’s a kitten (it doesn’t have to be ears and tail it could just be a collar/leash) with degradation/praise, some light bruising, maybe some breath play(?) with aftercare like cuddles and kisses falling asleep w/him as a protective big spoon”

🎃 music: ko ko bop + sweet lies - exo

🎃 masterlist + kinktober 2017

His keys sounded against the faux marble countertop, a sign that he’d returned from visiting his aunt who was in the hospital for some strange reason. Jeongguk had reassured you that she was alright and that it was mostly a precaution that they took her there, asking you to continue today as normal.

As normal as it was for the two of you.

Jeongguk clicked his tongue, making kissy noises to coax you out of wherever you were. At the noise, you poked your head up from where you lay on the couch, catching up on some reading you’d meant to do earlier.

“You’re home!” You chirped, Jeongguk’s smile stretching across his face at the sight of you on the other side of the sofa.

“There’s my girl,” Jeongguk approached, hands coming up to pet at your hair as you stayed put, not having been told to move otherwise. “Did you behave while I was gone?” You nodded fervently, hands gesturing to the house to show that nothing was an inch out of place, having been a fairly tame day as you stayed in the same general vicinity of the living room while your boyfriend was out.

“I’m so glad to hear that, I’d assume you did your chores as well since you seem so satisfied.”

At the words, you swore your entire body froze so visibly that Jeongguk picked up on your tense figure almost immediately.

“Love, what’s the matter? Did you not do what I asked?”

You fidgeted on the couch, book long forgotten as you fiddled with your fingers, finding them exceedingly more interesting as the awkward and frustratingly long silence stretched with every second you didn’t answer Jeongguk.

“Oh no, it looks like I have a bad kitten on my hands, huh?” If you had ears to match your title with Jeongguk, they’d definitely be drooped and flat against your scalp by now.

As much as you’d been happy to have been good, you turned out to be quite disobedient without even meaning to. You had seriously lost track of time as you read chapter to chapter, so indulged in the storyline that Jeongguk was home before you’d even considered the small list of chores Jeongguk had asked you to take care of.

They weren’t even hard or took very long; things as simple as moving the clean dishes from the dishwasher to the cupboards or balling up the clean socks on top of the washing machine that he’d even made easier for you to do by already putting them in pairs for you to just grab and go.

“You know what bad kittens get, right Y/N?”

With a dejected sigh and a drop of your head, you nodded and looked to the floor as you answered.

“Yes, Master. Bad kittens get punished.”

“That’s right, and you know I’d prefer to praise my little kitten but unfortunately, you’ve ruined that opportunity for us. I can’t say I’m not disappointed but what else can I expect when your head is always in the clouds instead of where it should be, right on your shoulders?”

You gulped audibly, trying to keep your excitement to a minimum. Even though this was a punishment, it still always managed to fill your veins with a thrumming fire, a frosty burn that sent shivers up and down your spine at the mere thought of what Jeongguk was going to do to you with his strong hands.

“Since you need to learn some focus, how about I give you something to practice on?” Jeongguk’s hands began to work on his belt and tugging his zipper down, the sound reaching your ears and making your head nearly snap up just to catch sight of him undoing his pants. It was a slight obsession you had over his hands, watching the long digits on each hand deftly pulling his jeans down and pulling himself out of them. Even though he was visiting his own mother’s sister, it didn’t seem to be deemed necessary to wear underwear to the occasion, according to your boyfriend.

“C’mon kitten, have a taste,” He beckoned for you to get on the floor at his feet as he sat and settled on the slightly lumpy sofa. You scrambled down to get eye level with his length, watching with a tantalized gaze how it beaded precome and how it continued to swell in size as Jeongguk pumped it more and more. “But, don’t get distracted. No matter what, you stay focused on this.”

With a determined nod, you surged forward and began to lick kittenishly—no pun intended—along his cock, loving how it jumped with the contact of the wet muscle. One hand rose to hold him at the base, keeping him steady as you wrapped your lips around the head and sucked until the heady taste of his precome washed over your taste buds. You moaned around him, the vibrations nearly making Jeongguk forget what he’d planned and he had to regain his composure and tug at your hair to get you back on track.

His hands were playing with your locks—petting, pulling and stroking; seemingly innocent and the usual when you went down on him but he was punishing you, and it’d certainly have to be something more than just making you blow him because if you had to be entirely honest, that was something you loved to do; half the time he didn’t even have to ask you for such a thing.

While you were focused on getting him off, bobbing your head and running your tongue on the underside of his member, Jeongguk began to slide his hands further down, forcing him to bend forward some and push more of his cock into your mouth.

The intrusion was far from unwelcome but it was unexpected and you had to take a moment to adjust to the weight in the back of your mouth, just shy of your throat. In the meantime, Jeongguk had already started touching the skin of your neck, rubbing along where the collar he’d bought you laid.

It was velvety, soft to the touch but still tight and firm around your throat, so it wouldn’t slide off or anything. At the front was a small charm, a little silver heart with your named etched in. Something to claim you as his, as a kitten only for him.

Normally, you’d be able to suck Jeongguk off with ease, even taking him far into your throat and letting him fuck your mouth until you drooled and dribbled down his length. But this time was different, made harder by what Jeongguk had decided to punish you with.

His long fingers snuck under the band of your collar and already it was snapped tight against the column of your throat, taut enough that it made you aware of the tightness in your esophagus. But as he started to pull away from you, it only served to make the collar tighter, making air harder to take in especially with an intrusion already in the way.

You choked and gagged on Jeongguk, sputtering as you tried to pull off but Jeongguk wasn’t letting up.

Instead he spoke, in a dark and low tone that told you he was in the headspace of your Master and not your sweet, soft spoken boyfriend that’d returned initially.

“Where do you think you’re going, kitten? You have a task I’ve asked you to do. You already shirked on your responsibilities once today, and now you’re going to learn to stay focused.” To add more to his words, he tugged harder on the collar and effectively cut off your airflow as the same time as he thrusted into your hot, wet mouth. The sound was absolutely sinful and your hands found purchase on his defined thighs as you closed your eyes and focused on taking everything he was giving you in stride.

You had to obey, to be a good kitten for him.

“Atta girl, keep on going. Make Master come and maybe I’ll let you do the same, love.”

He gave your collar some slack, as a form of praise for not completely choking on his length and he pulled back a little, letting air greedily fill your lungs before he’d inevitably take it away again.

This game was back and forth, like ping pong for the sweet taste of oxygen. As he’d tighten his grip more, he’d only go further until you swore he was touching the complete bottom of your throat. It wasn’t possible, his size only being so big but it still felt like you were swallowing him whole, the lack of air only intensifying the sensation.

Your vision was becoming blurry, from the asphyxiation or the tears now beading along your eyes, it was anyone’s guess. It felt like it spanned for ages, having mere seconds to catch your breath before his hands and cock were back where they were previously, insistently pushing you along an edge that was both precarious and arousing.

“Gonna come, baby.” Jeongguk felt the need to step up the punishment, if only to fulfill the slight sadistic fire he felt brimming in his fingertips. His hands wrapped around your neck fully this time, no longer toying with the material of your collar and instead tightening there. It was so much more electrifying, a more gratuitous grip that caused butterflies to swarm in your brain.

At least, it felt like butterflies, though with the lights fluttering in your eye line, you thought they could easily be lightning bugs.

“Such a good slut, a good kitten for Master aren’t you?” Your boyfriend muttered, thumbs grazing your throat and feeling where he thought he’d be pulsing through. He vaguely wondered if when he came down your throat, would he be able to feel its warmth through your skin? As the thought pushed insistently in his mind, you whimpered and whined around his length, feeling him throb as your own consciousness waned.

His gripped didn’t falter, punishing pace still making headway into your mouth until he ultimately tightened, head jerking in your throat as your tongue milked him through his orgasm. You had no choice but to choke on his come, trying to breathe at the same time as he finally released you and his load at once.

Jeongguk pulled off, strings of saliva and creamy white come connecting to your sloppy, dirty mouth and he slumped back into the couch cushions, feeling satisfied both with the punishment and your performance.

Some instincts told you to clear your airways of his fluids and wipe your face clean from his remnants but the others knew better; you had to sit still and look pretty with your Master’s come for him to appreciate before being able to reclaim some of your dignity.

“Pretty kitty,” Jeongguk moaned appreciatively from where he sat, looking at you with what you could only name as love and lust intermingled into one. With two gorgeous fingers, he beckoned for you to come up to the couch with him and you wasted no time joining him.

He chuckled at your eagerness, helping you wipe away some of the mess on your face before kissing you long and drawn out, letting you lick around his mouth and make him taste himself on his tongue.

The good thing about being Jeongguk’s kitten meant you could lounge around in your underwear and collar, just as you were now. So this opened up to plenty of options for yourself—for ways for you to come, that is.

“Kitten, how do you wanna come? You took your punishment so well, I think you deserve a reward.” You nodded at his musings before grabbing his hand in your own, running your fingers over the veins and callouses he’d gained over years of labor. “My hands, is that what you want?”

You hummed appreciatively and started to guide his hand into your underwear but Jeongguk had drawn it back, snatching it from your grip and making you pout and whine like a petulant child.

“Now, now, no need to pout like that, love. Just want you to go get your leash, s’all.” He drawled, and you nearly bolted off his lap to head into your bedroom to retrieve the leather leash he’d gotten to attach to your collar at times when deemed necessary.

Within seconds, you were back on his lap and eager to proceed and finish where you’d left off. Jeongguk chuckled at the speed at which you’d moved, wasting no time in snapping it into place on the silver ring by your heart charm and tugging a bit, checking if it was working right.

He seemed satisfied with it and pulled you further up into his lap, seating you at the crook of his hip, before pushing his hand into your underwear and giving you a few tentative touches. The wetness there didn’t surprise him, knowing you’d loved taking the punishment as much as he’d loved dishing it out.

Jeongguk licked his lips and pressed his fingers further, shallowly thrusting up inside you to feel exactly just how wet you’d gotten for him.

“Mmm, my little kitten just loves to suck Master’s cock, hmm? Look at how wet you are, love. Just absolutely drenched, my fingers are slipping right into this hot, little cunt of yours,” And with that, he’d began to fuck his fingers into you at a languid pace—nothing too rushed or hurried, just enough for you to come comfortably.

He let you move on your own accord, grinding and rubbing his fingers where you needed them the most. Jeongguk just sat back and enjoyed the show, his own desperate kitten fucking herself on her Master’s finger for sweet, sweet relief.

Ecstasy washed over you as the pads of his fingers touched the tightening walls inside you, wetness dripping down his digits the more aroused you got. You didn’t dare hold back any of your moans, for fear of what Jeongguk would do to you if you did.

To his satisfaction, you bounced on his lap, shamelessly working yourself until you finally came, whimpering his name in a thousand different shades and octaves. Jeongguk smirked at your body curled tight around him, feeling you get infinitely tighter before the sensitivity got to be too much and you rose off his hand, seating next to him breathlessly.

Jeongguk brought his hand up to his face, inspecting the glistening digits and the state you’d left them in before pushing them against your lips and looking you dead in the eye.

“You’ve made a mess of my fingers, be a good slut and suck. Get them clean for me,” He pushed past the seam of your lips and you made sure to lick around every nook and cranny, not a crevice left untouched. Once it was to his liking, he yanked his hand out from your mouth and got up, not even bothering with redressing in the jeans that he left pooled by the sofa. He instead went to the bedroom to dress in his pajamas, ready to sleep the night away.

You felt a little vulnerable, having been left just shy of nude on the couch, underwear wet with past arousal and a slight feeling of shame burning in your belly. You pushed it aside and bent down to pick up Jeongguk’s abandoned clothes, taking them to the laundry hamper in the bathroom before doing what you were supposed to do earlier.

Once finished, you joined Jeongguk in the bedroom, stopping in front of the vanity on the dresser to inspect the damage from your punishment.

Underneath your collar was a bruised imprint, a metaphorical collar etched into your skin. Just under that was the shape of Jeongguk’s hands—the very thing you loved so much—matching the light bruise of your collar.

“Baby, c’mere.” Jeongguk called you over and you snuggled into the covers with him, trying to will away the gross feeling in your tummy.

“You did so well today, ‘m real proud of you.” He petted at your hair again, though this time there were no dirty advances or filthy intentions. Instead, it was all good natured; meant to calm you down as he cooed kind praises and eased the flip-flopping in your midsection. “My lovely little kitten, the best I could ever ask for.”

He smiled into your hair and gave you a kiss on the forehead before turning you over, spooning you and rubbing circles over your tummy—oddly enough, right where you felt the unease burrowed. He seemed to will it away with his soft touch, telling you all the things about his day and making your heartrate go down.

You interrupted, feeling bad for doing so but still feeling the incessant need to apologize.

“I’m sorry.”

He paused mid-sentence to stare at the back of your head.

“And what exactly are you sorry for?”

You gnawed on your lip, feeling both stupid and weak for admitting having done wrong.

“For not doing what you asked of me. I shouldn’t have let myself get so distracted. I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

He began to laugh breathlessly behind you, unable to show you his expression in this position. It only made you want to shrink smaller—he was laughing at you, how shameful is that?

“Love, you don’t need to apologize for that. It’s not like you have to do that stuff, you know it’s okay for you to do your own things, right? This was just a little playtime, you’ve been only the best kitten, I swear.”

You burrowed deeper in Jeongguk’s embrace and he held you tighter, speaking sweet nothings and making you finally feel those lightning bugs inside your stomach instead of your brain.

The two of you drifted off to sleep, his dreams consisting of work and friends and being with you, while your own were of fluffy clouds and leather collars, Jeongguk pulling you along to play in the spooly puffs and making you giggle as he’d fall face first into mounds of the white pillows.

Jeongguk simply held you all night and with his warmth, you slept the entire night and half the morning away.

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shadowsong26fic · 7 years ago

Text

Coming Attractions!

No, I did not forget to do this! ...exactly...

I am super late again this month—buuuut I wanted to wait until I’d posted the delayed Precipice chapter, so.

Fanfic:

Precipice:

Sorry, sorry, sorry for all the delays in the last couple of updates—the last two weekends were super-busy, and then last week ended up being slammed at work and my brain just went pfft. Anyway, there will be another update this week/weekend (probably Rex and Leia), and I’ll hopefully meander back on schedule after that.

And I finally finished Commander! \o/ It was a fun arc. I’m very fond of that arc. But…yeah, it’s a long one, particularly given that very little in-story time passes. (Seventeen chapters to cover one very eventful week…)

So, yeah. Lessons is going to be a much quieter arc, something along the lines of Homecoming in terms of content/pacing. Resetting ourselves, establishing our new patterns, etc. Leia starts getting trained, Luke starts helping Mamma at work more, and bonding with Lavinia/actively being the human ray of sunshine he is. Probably Winter will turn up, too. I’m going to try and focus more on the Coruscant/Imperial Center thread this arc, particularly since Commander was so heavily about our Jedi friends…anyway, I’m guessing this will be a relatively short arc (8 or 9 chapters), and not much Drama/not very Plot-heavy. Other than Infernalis introducing himself. (He’s a lot of fun—there’s a bit I have half written where he’s all “yeah, I know Sidious is using me, but a) that’s what sentients do; we use each other and b) I’m using him too and c) I get to do ALL THIS AWESOME SHIT. So I kinda feel like it’s worth it.” Like…I don’t write unapologetic/Always Chaotic Evil/for the LULZ villains very often, but Infernalis is in that mold.)

Also! As of this Thursday, I will have officially been posting this behemoth for a whole entire year. I’m going to do a bonus fic (I’ll probably put up a prompt call post later tonight or tomorrow), and I’m hoping to commission art as well, either a full cover or one or more arc covers (for completed arc(s)). [Eventually, I probably will want ALL of the covers (i.e., main title/all planned arcs); but that’s a long range project because lol budget.]

ANYWAY if you have any specific requests for bonus fic and/or are interested in getting paid to draw pretty things/know someone who does this kind of thing and is open for commissions (since I do not know how to draw pretty things), let me know!

Distaff:

I FINALLY CONQUERED THE OPERA HOUSE \o/ ::throws confetti::

...heh.

Anyway, yeah. So, that’s moving again! Next chapter should not take nearly five months to come out, as it’s a lot less…mmmm…I’m trying to figure out how to word it. The Opera House was hard, because—look, it’s kind of dumb; Anakin is being really really dumb, we make fun of that scene for a reason, but it’s also one of if not the most important scenes in this entire arc? In terms of what Palpatine’s trying to do, I would argue that it’s even more of a key moment than the final revelation in his office some indeterminate time later, after Grievous is killed. Or, at least, it’s a bigger risk—once he gets Anakin past this point, the next one will come much easier.

Plus, you know, having to figure out an alternative Sith Legend™ to throw at her, since Plagueis doesn’t really apply. And Palps’s hand, so to speak, isn’t quite as strong as it is in canon (but, I mean, we’re talking if canon was, like, a straight flush, in Distaff he’s playing four of a kind or a full house; so still almost certainly a win). So there’s all of those factors to consider, too. (Also, it was his POV, which is…a fun headspace to get in, let me tell you, internet. Although whining about that at my ever-patient roommates did lead to me nicknaming him Skeev Palpatine which honestly I’m surprised I hadn’t thought of sooner.)

Buuuuuuut anyway. I make no promises for exactly when the next chapter will be out, but it definitely won’t take quite so long. Should be sometime this month. Fingers crossed, anyhow.

Masks:

…blaaaaaaaaaaaah. I don’t want it to die. I really don’t. On the other hand, I’ve got a whole lot of other projects ongoing, plus RL and all, plus I’m still having trouble getting into ANH!Vader’s head, so…ehhh, IDK. Essentially, I’ve decided that this is really super back-burner for the time being. Possibly I’ll do it in AU Outline form at some point, if I don’t manage a proper update, but for now, it’s on a vaguely-defined “if my brain cooperates” hiatus. I am (probably) locking canon for it as of TFA (meaning it won’t be as much of an In Spite of a Nail AU past that; and more just an…AU AU, if that makes sense?), though, because I like the plot I have. Though I reserve the right to change my mind on that after TLJ. Anyway, I’ll probably stop talking about this one (unless I use one of the spinoff versions of it as an AU Outline or something) until I actually write/post more.

Auxiliaries:

Update will be up very soon! Not a direct continuation of the last bit I posted, because I’m still working on that, but still something! (Ahsoka is involved because I love her.)

AU Outline:

…yeah, I dropped the ball on this one again. It was going to be the Mask of Zorro/California Gold Rush AU No One One Person Asked For, but I need to sit down and watch Zorro again to put that together, and I haven’t gotten around to that. Also, Ventress and her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience were speaking to me. …well, less them and another thread of that same AU, plus a couple unrelated AUs... Anyway, I’m going to try and put something up sometime in the next couple days. It’ll probably be the continuation of the Ventress and Luke one but we shall see.

Original fic:

…yeah, I didn’t actually write any this month, lol. I’ll do better in October.

Miscellaneous Other Things:

[In a generic list format because why not]

- Epic Crossover RP OF DOOM! I’ll keep posting snippets from time to time, because it entertains me. And my RP partner and I think we’re funny/clever.

- NaNo is coming up next month! I’m probably going to do the same thing I did last year—set myself an ambitious Total Word Count goal for the month, rather than focusing on a single project. Possibly give myself a list of projects to choose from; probably set a minimum amount that must be on original work/not fanfic. More on that when we actually get close, probably.

- I’ll probably do another Open Question Night sometime halfway through the month, because those are always fun.

- …should I do something Special for Halloween? (Like I did holiday bonus fics for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?) If I did, what would y’all want to see?

Goal Lists:

September Recap:

1. Keep up with Precipice updates.--not so much

2. Opera House.--FINALLY \o/

3. Another Auxiliaries snippet--missed

4. Work on Masks--missed

5. Another crack outline--missed

6. Update Lux and Farglass Cycle archives--someday I will actually do this

7. At least 5k on projects that are not Precipice--not quite, but I think between half-finished snippets and 3k worth of Distaff text I churned out, I got to like 4k or so?

8. At least 15k total on any/all projects--Not quite, no.

9. At least two pieces to Rainbowfic.--Nope.

10. Put some text down on something publishable.--Nope.

October Goals:

1. Keep up with Precipice updates.

2. Update Distaff.

3. Update <i>Auxiliaries.</i>

4. AU Outline--Mask of Zorro fusion and/or continuation of the Ventress one unless something New and Exciting comes up.

5. At least two pieces to RF.

6. Update the Lux and Feredar archives.

8. Write at least 15k total, at least 5k must not be Precipice

9. Write at least 10k on Precipice (bonus fic counts, meta/answered asks do not)

10. Put some text down on something publishable

#coming attractions #miscellania #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes crossovers #shadowsong cowrites stuff #shadowsong writes original fic #shadowsong26fic

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