#3am thinking abt them
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When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic
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I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.
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I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here
Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal” environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me
#portal#portal 2#chell#wheatley#chelley#chell x wheatley#wheatley x chell#autism be damned my girl can be a child soldier#testing on people is bad#especially children#but aperture is bad so i wouldn’t put it past them#this is kinda stupid#I also like to just not think abt her backstory at all#I feel like she wouldn’t care much about who she used to be#because that person is dead and all their share is a body and first name#everyone who knew that girl is likely dead too#so there’s no point in searching for answers that don’t exist anymore#Chell is Chell and she’s okay with that#it’s like 3am sorry I just love portal it’s my special interest#yay#ughghvhghdchhf
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gay clone high propaganda post number one pillion..,i am so normal you guys
#art#clone high#clone high season 2#clone high jfk#clone high abe#clone high abraham lincoln#clone high confucius#topher bus#clone high topher#jfabe#abefk#tophucius#abefucius#i am so so ill and insane about all of them#i dont think abt abefucius as much as i should they are so real and silly#anuways JFABE AND TOPHUCIUS REAL AND POWERFUL THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME#also bonus polycule art..topher’s shrimp breath is too much for anyone to handle#GAY POTION 3AM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE DRAWINGS IVEDONE HEVER#it makes me giggle so fuckinf hard i loce them
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a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^
#project sekai#emu otori#the usernames are all their public twts so if you use that evil platform check out their art ^_^#many of them are on here with the same users even.. be gone from my sight vile bird#the one on the bottom right is Mine but ive never had an artstyle in my life so it may not be obvious to the viewers. sorry.#pjsk#prsk#proseka#only my beautiful mutuals beautiful art can make me do LINEART#i was going to ask on here but realized i dont have mutuals bc this is a side blog. sniffle. hell on earth#I dont have much to scream in the tags. semester is almost over. Im sleepy. I designed emu a huge seord for an assignment#but the 3d model turned out Bad. it looks ok from the top but you turn it and see Problems.#its been a month or so since i modelled that and i have gotten better so i want to try again with no time crunch + pressure#its a fun looking sword. magical girl sword type shit#EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PRINCE WXS STUFF I END UP AWAKE UNTIL 3AM BECAUse it GETS TO ME#WAAAAAAAAAUHGH. I HAVE CLASS IN 11 HOURS#GOODNIGHT. IT WILL BE AS IF ALL THE STARS WERE LAUGHING.#oh my god wait i did this this weekend bc i was like yaay i have a weekend without any assignments due#I just forgot abt one. Bc my email hasnt been working properly and didnt send me the reminder for it. i will spend my tuesdah drawing a gun
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yes i would consider myself somewhat of a fan of women
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I fear I may never stop thinking about them
#sorry this is so rough but its 3am 😭#i just needed to draw them desperately bc i couldnt stop thinking abt them#doctor who#13th doctor#thirteenth doctor#river song#also i could not get river to look the way i wanted
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i see your heat of the moment (romantic) sashamilla confession scenes and raise you heat of the moment (awkward and bad) sashamilla confession scenario
#in which milla did not mean to say that out loud but it just slipped out#in which sasha feels very stupid to think she wouldnt have known by now#in which it is 3am and i cant stop thinking abt them#sashamilla#sasha nein#milla vodello#psychonauts#...#dont worry theyll work this out later and it will be not bad#kiwidoodles
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we all come and go thats what its all about :( WHAT IF SHE NEVER COMES BACK JUST LIKE MARSHMALLOW :(
#up at 3am thinking abt inanimate insanity. thematic parallels and such#love that they just casually dropped one of the saddest lines of the entire show on a fan tumblr roleplay blog#what if she never comes back.... JUST LIKE MARSHMALLOW....... forgot how traumatizing marshmallow leaving was for them#bcuz most of the people affected by that are eliminated now lmao but they genuinely think she's just Gone. dead. she never came back :(#txt#inanimate insanity
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i love ryomina
no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.
it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.
ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.
minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.
the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.
minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.
it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.
november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.
it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.
how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.
ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.
he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.
SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.
and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!
so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.
messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!
even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.
march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.
and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.
p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.
ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!! god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!
i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#meta#long post#(literally)#HI SO UM YESTERDAY I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP so to cope i was like 'i will talk out loud about anything and everything'#and somehow that turned into me talking about ryomina out loud and something about verbalizing my thoughts made me feel crazy about these-#two again. i mean for the record i continue to love them always very dearly but like my p3 braincells sometimes go into hibernation bc-#ive been on a really huge splatoon kick. but anyway my voice was like cracking at 3am because i was tearing up#i was like 'THE!! IM! SO NORMAL ABT WHAT ORPHEUS AND THANATOS AND MESSIAH SYMBOLIZE' etc etc etc#so i kinda just went to sleep like 'ok well you GOTTA type it out. everyone needs to know about this.'#and um i didnt mean to make 1069 words! sorry! not really! but i love them!!! even if im very quiet these days!#ohhh how lucky i am to have had the chance to experience ryomina they are such a gem. they make me so goddamn emotional#they really mean a lot to me because of well. (gestures at the entire post) but also they came at a really good point of my life and FUCK!!#im so so grateful to them!!! i love them!!!! the themes that their relationship and characters convey just !! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!#they've affected me so profoundly and deeply and i wish i could make better art to get this across. but its ok. one day i can. one day#they make me so fucking talkative like actually but um. i had a lot of fun writing this! i dont think ive had like. a proper appreciation-#post for them that articulates why i like them so much (unless you count the essays i write in my art tags) so it was nice to make this.#admittedly theres a lot abt p3 that im rusty on since its been a goodwhile since ive interacted with the source material#and in a way you could say that like. i need to renew my p3 license LMAOOO but god some parts of p3 still have such a huge death grip on me#and what i mean by that is that the big Fucking Events have such!! clarity!! in my mind!! i recall them and i wilt on the spot!!#oh god i cant fucking shut up. the tags are probably 500 words long. enjoy my ramble. i wish every ryomina enjoyer a Good Life <3#actually no. i hope that EVERYONE on the dash today has something that sparks joy for them the way ryomina does for me.#everyone deserves 2 have something that makes their brain do a little excited dance that makes them blow up and explode. its good for u!#BYE FOR REAL this is why i have to post my thoughts very spread out otherwise yall would have so many WORDS on ur dash pls help i have so#many emotions and i am so tiny i cannot possibly fit all the feelings i have about ryomina and other things inside my tiny little body
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Ngl atla AUs are so funny in the sense that white people don't really exist in the original avatar universe.
I think these concepts of putting your favorite characters into such a rich and interesting world and the allure of making them benders is fun and I enjoy it myself from time to time but. There is Something be said about inserting white characters into an inherently poc centered story and world that draws inspiration from those cultures, so it falls kinda flat. (And could even come across as tasteless since the story is again inherently a poc one and has such political? I guess. Themes as like the main conflict ignoring it kinda takes away from half the worldbulding or whatever. Whaaateeeverr idk)
Again this isn't like hate to people with atla AUs I enjoy them but idk food for thought.
#yes this is abt httyd aus...#atla#but also applies to all of them. really#im sorry it just makes me laugh like these characters are So white and theres just like a complete lack of effort in regards to like#intersecting those cultural aesthetics in a thoughtful way its kinda embarrassing? idk. like you could go a route w leaning#particularly into nordic cultural aesthetics and be more faithful to it than#canon httyd i think that'd work quite well but on the otherhand might feel whitewash-y idk#this is another seeing smth and having that gut 'youre white arent you' feeling#this isnt hate its not meant to be mean just like an observation and also suggestion to use our critical thinking skills#atla au#white fandom#yeah i suppose#im black tag#obviously. not asian or indigenous so im curious on others' opinions on this#again like food for thought. discussions like this could honestly be a hobby for me atp#its 3am god im tired but cant sleep#moth.txt
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4halo is a constant: “NOO ITS SO OVER” “ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE” “nope, we’re officially dead” “wait WE ARE BACK” by every interaction they have or by the slightest mention of each other
#i hate them#LIE i love them sm#atp i think even richarlyson and dapper are going insane with us#it’s 3am and i’m thinking abt 4halo let’s talk about brainrot#qsmp 4halo#qsmp forever#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp
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Yep, SOME TIFs just hug misogyny wholeheartedly in hope to become like the “bros”. It’s unsettling and disgusting, I don’t feel any pity.
i mean i do feel some pity... there's an andrea dworkin quote, i think from one of her interviews, where she talks about bitterness toward female class traitors. you take it much more personally. from men it's expected. but we expect more from other women. i'm endlessly frustrated with self-hating women and trying to save them from the consequences of their own actions while they claw and curse at you the whole time, and of course i think i know better, of course i have to dismiss her beliefs. i have to understand her misogyny and hate it and somehow not hate her or blame her for it and it's hard, internal work
#answered#i just can't help but lash out when i'm blamed for the consequences of their actions#tifs campaign to replace sex with gender and then it's our fault that they don't get female-specific medical care#i think abt when i read right wing women and it changed my life#self-hating women will try to drag you down with them#on a political level we have to oppose them but we can't leave them behind#on a personal level. self-hatred isn't an excuse for fucking over the rest of us and we don't have to coddle their feelings#i get that you feel this way i get why you feel this way and also you are being complicit in our oppression you willful idiot#does any of this make sense i woke up at 3am
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Yes Trigun is about Vash the Stampede and everything I love Vash the Stampede he is very cool and I also love Millions Knives but we should talk about Livio & Razlo more. It's called Trigun. Guess who uses three guns? Razlo. Therefore. We should make more content of them
#3am rambles I had final exam today and I keep thinking about my boys#I think that we. As a society. Need to appreciate these boys more.#I would love to make content about them but I suck at drawing I suck at writing and the best I can do is vaguepost abt them#livio the double fang#razlo the tri punisher of death#[.txt]
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#like in general#but also last weekend was literally like a skins episode what the fuck im still processing it#we went to see a football match#then spent over an hour getting back to our dorms on foot bc the trams were packed#we were JUST abt to reach the dorm building byt there were these 3 guys standing and they were like#'hiii girls look we reallyREALLY urgently need to get to the club but we re too drunk to call for a taxi wchi means you gotta walk us there#so we were like no fucking way obv we didnt know them AND THEN WENT WITH THEM ANYWAY#we stopped by this one place where young ppl usually meet up to drink bc our friend was partying there#drank her beer lool the boys convinced their friend to go with us qnd this girl turned out to be our mutual friend which is jdjeisbwjkw#so anyway on our way to teh club theres fierworks and ppl shouting celebrating the match we watched#we get to the club we get drinks we start dancing#THE GUY WHO I WENT OUT WITH ONCE AND WHOS OBSESS3D WITH ME BUT NOW PRETENDS I DONT EXIST IS IN THE VERY SAME CLUB AT THE SAME TIME#man#thinks get heated between me and one of these guys we just met#long story short we made out (s&m by rihanna in the background)#at like 3am we left the club and got back and i was glad to finally go to sleep BUt my friend just had to mention that she had whiskey#so we stayed up till 6am in front of our dorm building drinking and being stupid in general#ive got photos of me braiding one of the guys hair and laying on teh ground lol#so anyways#oh also one of the guys lost the fucking thingy ? they give you when youre leaving your stuff in the cloakroom or whatever#so while we were waiting for the cloakroom guy to return with his jacket he was like 'listen i lost the fucking thing#'the moment he returns with my jacket you grab it and we fucking run out of here you hear me?'#and we fucking did 💀#most importantly i got told im a good kisser that night 💯💯💯 but still all that kissing and touching did nothing for me like i said#felt bad for the guy bc he was ..... hmmmmm eager and he was fukcing trying ok so i was out there fake moaning so he doesnt feel bad lol💀
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and what if he's a combination of them huh
#is gestalt the word im looking for? idk it's 3am#oh uhh#dgm spoilers#for the ensuing tag ramble#anyway. officially caught up on dgm now so guess i have Thoughts#every theory abt what exactly happened to allen (river guy who actually met nea) and lavi (silver hair) is fun in different ways#and tbh i could buy most of them#but if they both went into the apocryphos soup together they maybe came out the other side together as allen (exorcist)#well. as orphan nameless circus kid who then became allen (exorcist)#nea talked about how allen (exorcist) seems entirely different from allen (river) in pretty much every way#and diagnosed him with 'innocence monster got you' lol which. apparently so!#this feels like pulling another brick out of the allen walker identity issues jenga tower though#the hair thing too- i honestly didn't think to put much stock in that until it caught lucia's attention but!#lavi (silver) and allen (river) now allen (exorcist) current thought#who knows if I'll still think that in twelve hours though. we'll see#tada. dgm tag
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having a fis moment. 🐠 always am but oughgugh. im falling asleep as i type but rotating them in my mind.
#need to write abt them again. or just think abt them. i miss them so bad#i gotta do that worldbuilding post i need u all to Know the things abt mer culture that i do#wails forever and ever about memorials and safehouses and remembering how to say a name and :(#…inspired partly by a book i picked up st the library today that has Not impressed me#it’s mer culture is just a 100% mirror of human culture. they wear clothes. they have cops and capitalism and patrilineal surnames.#it’s so . well anyways. it’s 3am i’m gonna give in and pass out fr now#fis au
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praying and hoping and begging for things to get better or at least more tolerable soon because i dont know how many more physical symptoms of stress my body can take
#me when i get eczema when the only time i had eczema in the past was when i was about to kill myself lmao#things are Preddy Bad actually fjfkfkfl#theres so many things i have happening and i look them up and its like ''reduce stress :)'' THANKS I WISH I COULD#UNFORTUNATELY. I LIVE IN THIS WORLD. AND THINGS AREN'T GOING WELL.#i actually cant think abt this all anymore tonight or I'll end up crying and i rly dont want to deal w crying rn fhfkdl#but man. things were supposed to go in such a better way. im literally a failure rn#all my siblings are doing way better in life and have a shot at things#and im stuck in my parents basement alone and a loser burn-out#this is so fucked#i realized the reality of my situation at 3am lying awake unable to sleep last night#like. i am.... alone and stuck living in my parents basement. no career prospects because im useless and too exhausted all the time#thats so fucking lame and awful and Peak Failure in society's eyes#man!!!#so unbelievably bleak!!!#anyways i hope this eczema goes away bc wow i rly have not had this except once or twice when i was engaging in suicidal behaviour#i dont want to be doing that again 😭😭#WHATEVER. it is what it is. live fast die young or whatever#maybe tomorrow something good will happen#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw
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