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damn-stark · 9 months ago

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Chapter 35 …One says c’mon and the other says I’m tired

Chapter 35 of Sugar

A/N- Listen to Mary by Big Thief, it’ll be good I promise!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, fluff, violence and blood, DEATH, SPOILERS!!!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- 234-236

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*A FEW YEARS AGO*

Sneaking around with a guy at your own house is a limit you’ve really even been testing. You’re risking getting in deep trouble, but tonight will be the last night you and your late-night rendezvous will be together.

Soon you’ll leave with your mother on a trip, and when you come back you’ll start school at Jujutsu High, in Tokyo along with your older brother. Soon you will finally have a life outside of these damn walls!

“Hey, hey! Guess who, guess who!” A familiar voice startles you. A voice that belongs to a man that shouldn’t be here��but is he?!

You get off the old wooden swing and twirl around in the direction of the voice, catching your brother of all people approaching you.

Which is kind of inconvenient because you needed to end things with your boy toy, but oh well another day secretly together won’t hurt—as long as your parents or anyone else finds out that is.

“Satoru!” You greet happily and wait for him to meet up with you.

Your brother flashes you a beaming grin and suddenly stops in his tracks to pull his hands out from his back and show off a bottle of sake.

“Look what I have stolen from our parents' cabinet!” He announces and shakes the bottle with both hands before he runs on his giant legs and closes the large gap that was left between you.

Once he’s close you finally probe his surprising presence, you weren’t supposed to see each other until you started school. “What are you doing here, Satoru? Why aren’t you at school?”

“Well,” he says and takes his shades off to illuminate the night with his bright and big blue eyes. “We got sent to a mission nearby and since it’s late we got to stay at a hotel close by, so I said why not come home. I also knew you missed me.”

You roll your eyes and don’t actually deny him because it’s true. Ever since he left for school, you’ve been nothing but bored! The house is so lonely without him.

You won’t admit it though because you don’t want him to get cocky, so instead you decide to press on the fact that he says “we,”.

“So where’s your friend? The guy who understands you better than anyone has,” you mock him as you walk back to sit on the swing. “The guy who doesn’t care if you’re Satoru Gojo, the guy with the six eyes. The first real friend you’ve ever had.”

Satoru frowns and kicks you back, making you chuckle and just lean forward to swing towards him and ask seriously this time so he doesn’t get all butt hurt. “Really where’s your friend Suguru Geto? I’ve been wanting to meet this great friend of yours and see what all the fuss is about.”

Satoru opens the bottle and takes a big swig of the sake, causing you to react with surprise considering he hasn’t drank before. Not even with this beloved friend of his.

“Oh! That was…a big drink…” you trail off and watch him swallow with concern. “Why are you drinking?”

Satoru shrugs. “I'm in high school now. Why shouldn't I?” He throws out too calmly.

“Uh,” you stammer and just agree with him. He already started anyway. “Well, we can share then.”

Satoru pushes the bottle towards you, but just as you’re going to grab the neck of the bottle he pulls back and looks at you with a quizzical brow. “Since when have you drank?”

You pull your arm back to hold the swings rope and answer nonchalantly. “I drink with my friends. But not a lot, just a cup or two. We like to drink and play games.”

Satoru’s eyebrows furrow as he shoots you a pointed look of disapproval. You know he can either try and be a big brother and lecture you, or it can go the other way and he’ll just drop the subject and let you be, but you don’t want to risk it and ruin this surprise visit so you lean forward and snatch the bottle from his hand.

“Now,” you change the subject. “Your friend is he cute? You haven’t shown me a picture!”

Satoru scoffs and sits on the ground across from you, and even then he still looks like a damn giant.

When did he get so damn tall?!

“As if I would ever present you to my best friend. He’s off limits, I told you already.”

You snicker and take a small drink to take it easy unlike, the guy across from you.

“Well, I’m still gonna meet him soon, so I don’t know why you’re bitching?” You clarify. “You should've brought him.”

“No!” Satoru exclaims. “And, he didn't want to come, he had some homework to do or whatnot. I don’t know, he was being responsible.”

“Ah.” You nod in comprehension and mindlessly twist around as you take another drink before it’s snatched from your hand by your brother's giant one.

“How’s it been here?” He makes sure to ask like he always tends to do now that he’s not living here anymore. “Is training going okay? Have they been going easy on you?”

You drop your head and shift the tip of your foot on the ground as you grow pensive.

What could you say? Training is harsh because they know your brother isn’t here to defend you? That you’ve been a total failure and suck at processing with your own damn technique that’s written in your damn being?

You can say all that and he’ll listen, but he’s only here for the night and you don’t want to dump all your problems on him, so you just share something lighthearted instead. “Mother and I have gone over to the Kamo house and while I've been there I have befriended one of them that’s my age. He’s very nice.”

Satoru’s face twists in displeasure at the sound of you and some guy he doesn’t know getting close. “Ew, why?”

He’s trying to be protective but he just sounds rude.

“Because I can have friends Satoru,” you snap back and kick your foot at him.

Satoru side-eyes you before surprising you and taking another large gulp.

“Oh, bro, take it easy, man,” you warn him with genuine concern.

Satoru flicks his wrist to brush you off. “It’s very sweet,” he dismisses you. “It’s good!”

“Hm—”

“We should prank call Suguru,” he suddenly blurts and stands up, casting a large shadow over you and only making your surroundings that much darker.

“What are we?” You remark full of judgment.

Satoru shoves the bottle in your hand and yanks out his phone from his pocket to quickly navigate through his phone.

You take this time to study him and can’t really tell if he’s drunk, he looks as goofy as usual. His smile is turning goofier than usual though, besides that he looks normal. Which is good, you don’t feel like getting in trouble for him getting drunk.

“Here, here,” he says in a hushed voice and hands you his phone that you almost drop because he’s not being careful. “Tell him…”

“Why me?!” You whisper sharply as if that man you’re talking to is nearby.

“Just do it!” Satoru snaps, making you pout at how snappy he’s being. “The phone is ringing he won’t know it’s me!”

“Hello?” A deep and soothing voice answers, making chills go down your spine and a giddy smile to flash on your lips.

“Hello,” you answer back and mock that generic woman's voice you hear in machines guiding you to do something, or in voicemail boxes not set up. “This is the county police department…”

“Good, good,” Satoru whispers in approval and winks at you, making you much more excited to be doing this.

“…calling on behalf of the detainee SATORU GOJO, to inform you that the bail to release the detainee from jail will be…”

“Ten thousand,” Satoru mouths and demonstrates the number with both hands.

It’s a ridiculous amount, but you can’t think of anything on the spot so you go with it. “…ten thousand dollars.”

Satoru snickers maliciously as he nods in agreement whilst you catch a surprised gasp at the other end, making you purse your lips together so as to not laugh.

“Answer yes if you agree to pay bail, or answer no and let this call end.”

“Uh,” Geto hesitates, and somehow this reaction makes Satoru totally ruin the prank by bursting out laughing like a maniac.

There’s no way Geto could’ve missed that!

“Oh,” you assume right as he answers with a deep annoyed breath. “It’s you…make sure to be back early Satoru, or you can find your own way back to the school—“ and just like that Geto hangs up the phone, making Satoru’s laugh die down, and his lips drop to a pout.

However, this time you burst out laughing and point at your brother frowning in defeat.

“He fell for it,” Satoru defends himself.

“Oh,” you gasp for air and drop your head to continue laughing. “This makes me want to meet him that much more. What a funny guy. Oh,” you laugh until your stomach hurts.

“Whatever,” Satoru grumbles and leans over to snatch the bottle. “He fell for it.”

Your laugh slowly dies down, but you keep your head down and smile softly at the ground while the swing slowly moves back and forth as you swing your feet.

You can fill the silence with more humorous suggestions and topics, but as Satoru quiets down you bask in the calmness of the night. It's refreshing, you feel a cool breeze on your face that fights off the summer heat that once overwhelmed you.

When you look up at the sky you see that it’s clear so the moon really gets to show off and provide more light besides the distant wall lights and the garden lights. Your parents or anyone else from your family is pestering you so it’s really relaxing.

“Do you think…I’ll really be the strongest?” Satoru breaks the silence to ask you a deep insecurity. Which is…it’s not rare for him to be vulnerable with you, he doesn’t seem to be scared or ashamed to be so open with you.

And he shouldn’t, there’s so much pressure on his shoulders since he was a kid because of what he was born with. It leaves no room in people’s hearts to really care about him in a deep sense, all they see is power and glory. But you, you care deeply about your brother.

“I know so,” you assure him of his doubts that are born from him drinking that sake. “Not only because it was written in the stars, or because everyone around you says it.”

You finally look down from the sky and meet his gaze reflecting a teary gloss that softens his intense blue eyes.

“I know you’ll be strong because you have the dedication because you have a strong heart.”

“What does that have to do with anything? What does it even mean?” He remarks and averts his gaze.

You sigh and shrug timidly. “I guess it means that you don’t give up, you keep going even if you could’ve given up and abandoned this fate with all the pressure that’s put on you,” you explain quietly as you grow flustered. “You’re smart too, and you keep wanting to learn even if everything at your feet. You’ll be strong because you’re cocky and always keep your head up high, you’re also very stubborn about failing.”

Satoru scoffs and slowly drags his eyes back up to you, and you continue softly so he knows you’re not joking even a bit.

“And I know that a lot of things come easy to you, but when it doesn’t you keep trying until you get it. And most importantly you’re fearless—“

“No,” he cuts you off and shakes his head. “I have fears, just like you. But I told you that it doesn't affect your strength.”

You offer him a soft smile, but before this can turn about you you focus back on him. “You’re also brave, the bravest person I know, and trust me I know, I have known since I was a little girl.” You say and swallow back thick emotions that begin to sting your throat. “And it’s because I know you that I know all I said is why you will be the strongest. I mean that’s what already makes you strong,” you finish with an endearing smile.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I suppose you're right.”

He could’ve said thanks, but whatever, you still can’t help but smile.

A short silence then passes where he takes this time to really digest what you said, knowing that everything you just told him comes from the bottom of your heart. You could be malicious and just tell him what he wants to hear, you have every right to be that way with him with the way your family treats you compared to him, but you always pour out your heart and be genuine with him. He admires you for that.

“Hey, now that you’re here do you want to go watch a movie?” You suggest before he has a chance to black out with that bottle of sake. “I rented this comedy movie I’ve been dying to see.”

Satoru eyes flicker to you and since he can’t find a way to pour out his own heart and express his gratitude he smiles at you and nods in agreement. “Of course! But if I fall asleep, wake me up early before Suguru leaves me behind.”

You push yourself off the swing and shoot him a pointed look. “As if,” you quip. “Be responsible.”

“You sound like Suguru! And after I come all this way to visit you?!” He shouts dramatically.

You face him and nod. “Yes. Now whoever gets inside last…” you trail off to bolt away before he has a chance to win.

“Hey! You had a head start, no fair!” Satoru exclaims after you and doesn’t hesitate to bolt after you.

When you get inside he does end up winning though.

So much for your headstart, and damn his long ass legs!

——

*NOW*

You want to go back to simpler times. You want to take Satori, Choso, Satoru, and everyone you love dearly and keep close to your heart with you and just live simple lives. You can still be a sorcerer, you can still carry that trauma, the bad memories of the past, all you want is not having to worry about Satoru’s fate…

He’s home…

“He ripped off that Shikgami’s tail,” Choso kind of shares with admiration. “Why am I surprised?”

“Because he keeps getting cooler,” Yuji blurts, making Choso’s face flash on a short jealousy that twinges in his very core.

A soft laugh manages to leave your lips before you hold Choso’s arm and whisper. “I think you’re cool.”

Choso meets your gaze and a smile tugs on the corner of his lips before you lean in and press your lips on his and give him a lingering kiss.

“Thank you again,” you whisper against his lips even if you already expressed your gratitude to him for being so caring and attentive. You just know that in your lifetime you will never actually get to express how grateful you really are for him not growing tired or asking for anything in return while dealing with you, and your rollercoaster of emotions today. You certainly will try though every moment you can. He deserves to hear it.

“For what?” He asks cluelessly.

You offer him a warm and loving gaze and respond sweetly. “For today. For everything.”

Choso opens his lips and you know he’s going to say some stoic shit like well, “of course, I’ll always look out for you, it’s nothing.” So instead you cut him off and give him another lingering kiss so you can both savor the sweet taste before you bask in the comfort of his presence and lay your head on his shoulder to focus back on the screens, catching Mahoraga swing his blade and hurl rubble at Satoru. However, nothing hits him due to his infinity technique.

A flash of hits proceeds to happen that go by too quickly for you to catch so the next thing you know Satoru is in front of the second shikigami, and swings his fist so hard and so fast that the shikigami doesn’t catch him. Instead, it gets punched, causing you to react with an entertained smirk.

“You’re nothin’ but a one-trick pony,” you hear Satoru quip. He then proceeds to use the air to back away from

Mahoraga’s swing, whilst keeping a distance from the other shikigami. He then moves one leg forward and one arm back to prepare to swing at Mahoraga, but then in the blink of an eye Mahoraga swings his mighty blade with a swift woosh, and the next thing you see is part of Satoru’s arm flying away after it was cut off.

It was…

And he’s not bleeding…

His arm…

“Satoru!” you cry out and shove yourself to your feet.

“Mahoraga used his slashes?!” Kusakabe cuts in with surprise.

You grab at your chest as it feels like you’re suddenly at a loss for air.

This could mean the end…

“He struck from range?!” Yuji exclaims. “Just like Sukuna?!”

All you can see is Satoru on the screens, you can’t see anyone around you, it’s like you can only focus on him. You can hear the others fine, but there’s darkness all around you and Satoru ahead, besides you’re numbing fear.

“This is bad!” Shoko bellows and only worsens you’re already panicked state—“Gojo’s healing ability is dropping!”

Your heart pounds in your ears, and just as you feel the blood in your veins rush and make your hands tremble, a large hand cups your shoulder, feeling like a warm sun that slowly radiates warmth all over your frozen and stiff body.

“My Love,” Choso whispers, and then in a very affectionate and soothing way speaks your name before he carefully attempts to assure you. “He can heal that arm. He’s strong enough to do that. He’s okay.”

You blink and look over your shoulder to meet Choso’s gaze, feeling that tunnel vision fade, but not feeling the terror ungrasp you, it digs its claws in you and keeps your hands trembling and your mind thinking you can’t breathe.

“It’s okay, just breathe, hm? He’s still alive,” Choso adds a lot more confidently now that he sees you’re not turning him away like before. “Breathe.”

He grabs both of your shoulders and turns you to face him so you can see him slowly draw in a deep breath and slowly push it out, making you mirror his actions until you’re not heaving.

“Good,” he murmurs and slides his hands up to caress your face before he drops his hands to walk you both back to your seat and focus back on the battle with one hand still hugging his.

However, perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea returning your focus back on the screen because you catch Satoru being hurled back by Sukuna’s kick, and landing right across the other shikigami. The moment the Shikigami's eyes land on Satoru, it lunges forward and throws its giant fist, but misses due to Satoru’s infinity, which is comforting. You can breathe at the fact that you’re brother isn't slammed with another mighty swing that could have pushed him closer to the end now that he also needs to grow back an entire fucking arm!

“Ya know, what I’ve been thinkin’?” Satoru blurts with a hint of craziness and cockiness mixed together. Maybe it’s because he just lost an arm—“you just don’t fit in with this crowd!”

Your lips part as a blue glowing orb forms around his hand before in a flash your brother is upon the shikigami with his fist buried in its gut.

Mahoraga falls in front of its lord master and makes it his priority to protect him as Satoru proclaims his dangerous words. “Maximum output Blue!”

Your eyes widen with glee as Satoru’s technique drags the shikigami across a building, cutting it in half with its tremendous power as it scrapes the wall. You think it’ll fly away further, but the orb stops past the building and seems to swallow the shikigami in before it bursts and blows the shikigami to pieces, leaving Sukuna and Mahoraga left on the battlefield once again. While Satoru—well Choso was right, you could’ve realized that if it wasn’t for your panic.

Regardless Satoru grows his arm back, and his intense eyes gleam while his lips widen to a smirk as he seems to be pumped with more exhilaration and adrenaline.

Something so clear as day that you can’t help but feel a trickle of that excitement rushing through your own blood after witnessing such a feat. And it seems that the exhilaration running through your brother fuels his thirst for blood because he quickly manages to get a swing on Mahoraga. And when the giant beast gets hit he does manage to keep his feet on the side of the building but he ends up sliding back, leaving Sukuna in front of Satoru.

This time the evil man can’t maneuver himself away, so your brother zooms to him and manages to snatch his wrist before he twists his body around and swings Sukuna with him before hurling him at Mahoraga.

Of course, the beast catches him and guards him from Satoru, but nothing stops your brother from slamming his fist in Mahoraga’s forearm so hard that the beast breaks through the building and hits the wall inside with Sukuna still in his arms like a mother would protect its child.

Satoru proceeds to surprise you by not following them inside, he stays outside and instead points his finger to the sky, and sets a deadly gaze on his opponents.

“Phase. Pāramitā. Pillars of light.”

“He’s chanting again,” you proclaim and sit up as straight as a board as you’re bombarded with a rush of heart-pounding anticipation.

Is he going to hit them with his technique?

What if they swerve him and he just wastes his cursed energy on destroying more property?

But no…your brother is smarter than that, right?

Please don’t waste your energy on shooting at them…

“Cursed technique reversal,” Satoru announces and stretches his arm out to shoot a blue glowing orb from his fingers that grows in size the further it gets in the sky.

“Mahoraga!” Sukuna barks out with panicked rage, making the beast break every window and crack his surroundings as he immediately bursts out of that building to chase after Satoru’s blue technique.

You would think Satoru would chase after him to stop Mahoraga from getting in the way, but you end up gasping when Satoru shoots out a red orb too, and finally clues you in on what he’s planning to do.

He’s planning to expel his hollow technique…But not at his opponents, there’s no single target, the target is everything.

This plan can kill him too. In the same way, Yuki was killed by her own black hole.

“This better work,” you mutter and gnaw on your nail while you bounce your leg.

You can think of 3 different alternatives; one it kills Sukuna and Mahoraga at the same time but Satoru dies with them too. Two, none of them die and just get heavily wounded. Or three, this plan kills both Sukuna and Mahoraga and leaves your brother as the winner…

You want the latter.

Nevertheless, you watch Satoru get in the way of Mahoraga before it could reach blue. And the moment Mahoraga notices your brother, he blocks his face with his blade to prevent getting hit, thus letting Satoru quickly counter him by instead slamming his fist into Mahoraga’s chin.

All while that is processing though, Sukuna uses the shadows to appear behind his guardian, Mahoraga, and claps his hands together to point the tip of his fingers at Satoru’s red.

“He’s gonna hit it with piercing blood,” Choso murmurs under his breath.

You let out a deep breath, and feel your heart clench in your chest as you watch a blood arrow shoot towards red.

Satoru doesn’t seem bothered by the action, instead, he finds his way towards Sukuna and punches him across his torso.

“Too slow,” Sukuna says nonchalantly when he straightens up completely unbothered.

Once again Satoru passes him an unphased look and parts his lips to chant again. “Phase. Twilight. The eyes of prajñā.”

The blood arrow was redirected and hits blue, but following the incantations Satoru activated its output, so piercing blood is absorbed, letting you let out a sigh of relief. Albeit small, but you still sigh.

“Nine ropes,” Satoru starts to chant again, rising the way your heart already pounds.

“Polarized light. Crow and Shōmyō. The gap between within and without.”

Amid his chanting Yuta calls out your name before he interjects sincerely. “I apologize. If a burden like me were out there, he wouldn’t have done this.”

“You just wanted to help Satoru, it’s okay,” you assure him and blink to look back at the screen, catching the last words before the big explosion.

“Hollow technique: Purple.”

Your breath catches, and you squint your eyes as a blinding explosion goes off silently for the first few seconds before the stereos shake the room with the deafening blast that destroys the city with its unbelievable power, leaving nothing but rubble…and two bodies left standing.

Sukuna. And Satoru!

Mahoraga is gone, turned to nothing but dust, which turns out to be a fourth alternative you didn’t think about. A good alternative.

“Good job,” you whisper to your brother from your seat, and can’t help but share your proud smile.

This can lead to the end…

“An unlimited purple not bound by any specific target. It even hit me!” Satoru’s smug voice echoes as he walks out of a cloud of dust with smoke rising off the wounds he suffered because of the blasts.

“But sure enough, there’s a difference in damage,” Satoru goes on and comes to a stop in front of a limping Sukuna missing a part of his arm, and covered in blood, and fresh scrapes. “I guess my cursed energy pool is just that huge. Welp, all’s well that ends well! I totally crushed the improv with that remote purple don’tcha think?”

“Come on kill him already,” Choso mutters impatiently, making you lean towards him with a happy smile.

“It’s Gojo who regained his reverse cursed technique output through those black flashes,” Kusakabe breaks the stunned silence that filled the room. “Versus Sukuna with slowed healing, no Mahoraga, and an inability to do a lick of damage without amplification.”

“Satoru is just that great,” you finally admit with no urgency to keep it a secret so Satoru wouldn’t hear it and grow his grande ego.

“Does this mean…” Yuji trails off with disbelief as he watches the screen wide-eyed.

“Yeah,” Kusakabe says. “Gojo wins.”

He just needs to execute a final technique and he will win.

Just do it.

Satoru takes a step forward, and you catch a snowflake falling on the other side of the screen. The first snow of winter finally started.

Soon you can come home with Satoru, Choso, Yuji, Kirara, Hakari, and Satori, and you’ll be able to enjoy the snow; tea, or hot cocoa while you watch a movie and stay warm inside. Soon you can go home together.

You can’t help but rejoice at that thought and smile faintly to yourself.

All Satoru needs is a finishing move…

Your body eases at that relieving thought, and you draw out a deep breath and blink. Albeit, as soon as you blink suddenly a sharp whoosh of wind comes out of the stereo followed by the fulsome sound of flesh being slashed.

You fixate your eyes on a different screen and…suddenly it feels like the air is knocked out of your lungs. You abruptly freeze and your jaw drops as your eyes widen in horror.

Your surroundings vanish as your focus forces you to just stare dumbfoundedly at the top half of Satoru’s body sliding off the bottom half of his body, and hitting the floor with an awful thud that manages to disrupt your ability to hear anything.

However, what you see can’t be true, it’s not true. Your brother is not gushing blood out of his mouth on the ground. One of his arms isn’t ripped off him and on the ground across from him. He’s not lying still on the cold ground. That’s not him, it’s not real. It’s a cruel joke.

This isn’t real…

Yet no matter how much you want the screen to change to your brother ending this fight and winning, the image of Sukuna standing proudly over his lifeless body doesn’t change. So you squeeze your eyes shut and drop your head to wish for it to change back. You plead under your breath with unknowing tears rushing down your cheeks.

Choso stands in front of you and grabs your shoulders to try and aid in your distress, but you’re actually not aware of his touch, you can’t hear him repeatedly say your name as if he’s pleading for your life, you sit frozen pleading that none of this is true.

You want this to be a dream.

You want to go back. You don’t want to feel your heart breaking again. Not again. You want to go back to your family home, back when you were young because you were unaware of the anguish life had in store for you, because then Satoru still had his life ahead of him. You want to go back home…

“Please, please,” you repeat like a broken record.

Choso shakes you and finally breaks you away from the clutches of your numbing shock. You meet his gaze and see his soft and pretty brown eyes full of pity and anguish. Not for what just happened, but for you and your pain.

“Listen to me, my love, listen to me,” he murmurs and slides his hands up to grab your cheeks and try to talk you down so you can go on with the plan you have, but it’s at the feeling of his soft touch against your rigid body that you feel the sharp waves of your heart-shattering. You feel your entire being slowly wither as you realize what happened to the brother you love.

Death took him. Death took your home, your only older brother Satoru. The man who loved you when your family gave you the cold shoulder is gone. He’s not breathing no matter how long you watch in wait. He’s gone…and you can’t breathe now.

You grab at Choso’s arms for support as you gasp for air, but the weight of your anguish pushes you off your seat and knocks you down to your knees.

“Just look at me,” Choso tries to help you. He calls your name and tries to hold you up, but you slip from his hold and fall on your hands and knees to try and find a way to breathe from there.

But to no avail, you don’t feel the relief of a fresh breath running through your lungs, your mind repeats the sound of the deadly slash cutting through Satoru’s body. The image of his bleeding and lifeless body on the cold ground tortures you, sending waves of pain throughout your body that shoves you further into an abyss.

How can you be here again? First Suguru, Kiyoshi, the twins, Nanami, and Yuki.

How can you be here again?

You don’t want to feel grief's heavy shawl again. You don’t want to feel it again. You don’t want Satoru to be…gone.

You plead desperately again as you beg for a breath, leaving yourself unaware of your surroundings until Choso’s grasp startles you as he pulls you up, and pins your arms to your side.

You think he’s going to make you hold his gaze again and try to talk you down, but this time he pulls you against him and protectively wraps his arms around you to squeeze you against him with a tight force that washes you over with comfort.

So much in fact that you finally let yourself breathe as you cling onto him as if he’s life support.

“Choso,” your voice quivers.

Choso caresses the back of your head and presses a gentle kiss on the side of your head as he coos, “I know. I know. I’m here.”

You dig your nails into his back and dig your face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” you croak into his neck as your tears soak his flesh.

“It’s okay,” he tries to soothe you.

But you’re restless, you pull back and face him. Choso brings his hands up and cups your cheeks. “I’m sorry,” his whisper breaks. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

You grab his hands and shake your head. “No, no. Don’t say that. Please…don’t say that,” you beg with streaks of tears rushing down your face. “Please, Choso…you have to do something…please honey. Please.”

Choso swallows thickly and tears form in his eyes. Before he can only step on the shattered pieces of your heart you keep going as if trying to persuade him. “I can’t tell Satori, I can’t tell her someone else she loves is dead.”

Choso wipes your tears with his thumbs and presses his forehead against yours to talk to you like that because he knows this touch is comforting for you as much as it is for him.

“My love,” he murmurs and gently speaks your name with sadness clinging to his voice. Sadness and comfort.

Yet as much as he wants that to help, it’s no use. His voice registers in your mind, but bloody images of your brother's body flashes in your mind and it’s like getting slammed with that realization for the first time all over again.

This time though there’s no struggle to breathe, this time you don’t try to fight the truth before you. You know the truth, you feel it torturing you without mercy. This time as you slip your grasp from Choso, and drop to your hands and knees you let out a heartbroken wail that silences everyone and makes everyone be hit with another wave of anguish.

Hakari, Kirara, and Yuji see you shaking and sobbing, and the only person who can manage to say something is Hakari. Kirara is too stunned, and Yuji is also still processing what he just saw.

“Master,” Hakari calls out.

You press your lips together and swallow back a thick lump of stinging emotions before you meet Hakari’s stricken gaze. You want to say something, but you can’t find anything comforting to say. You want to tell him you’ll be okay, but that’s not true, so you can’t even form the words in your head. Tears escape you again as another wave of anguish strikes you.

“It’s not the end,” Hakari's words hit your ears.

You’re left speechless with his words repeating in your head and finding some resolve. But not enough, it threatens to slip away until Choso swoops in and grabs your cheeks to lift your head and face him.

He says your name in a gentle and soothing way that makes you melt in his grasp and cry more.

“I know you just want to be here and cry,” he says, “but we need you. We need you to be strong. I need you to be strong. I know it sounds impossible, but Hakari’s right, it's not the end. There’s still plans to see through. People need you to do your part. Do you hear me?”

You hold his gaze and don’t say anything, so he enforces himself and slides one hand down to place it over your heart like you did with him when you first met and you told him for the first time that he was human. You were the first person to tell him that, you were the first person to help him feel human.

Now he’s the first person to break through your grief.

“It hurts I know,” he whispers against you as he uses his other thumb to caress your cheek. “But I need you to fight.”

You blink repeatedly and slowly lay your hand over his hand that he has pressed against your beating heart.

“Fight for him,” he says words to try and comfort you and fuel your motivation in a way he knew how. “Fight for your brother. Avenge him. And let's finish what he started.”

You nod as the words slowly sink in.

“Stand up and fight. Stand up and help Okkotsu finally get rid of Noritoshi Kamo. Fight my love so you can home to your girl. For him, your brother Satoru Gojo.”

“And you.” You say hoarsely.

Choso blinks repeatedly in disbelief and for now he pushes away how flustered you make him to comfort you. “Hm. Get up and fight. You’re strong. You have a strong heart. So live on, we need you.”

That’s right, isn’t it?

You have a duty, plans to see through to bring an end to this horror. As much as you want to curl up and cry, you can’t, you have to do as Choso says. You have to fight.

You have to get up and kill Kenjaku so you can then kill that bastard Sukuna.

You will be his demise. You will be death. Again.

“Okay,” you mutter to Choso.

Choso lets out a deep breath and offers you a gentle smile before he presses a sweet and short kiss on your lips.

“Don’t leave me okay?” You plead more than you ask.

“Never,” he promises from the bottom of his beating heart, and seals that promise with another kiss before he helps you to your feet.

And the moment you get up Shoko softly calls your name, pulling your attention to her standing close, and getting welcomed with another wave of grief as you see her own in her eyes and the tears that pool within them

Nothing is said about what happened and who you lost, but you both know you share the same deep ache just by staring into each other's soul, so you seek comfort in each other's embrace.

“Yuta’s waiting for you, okay?” Shoko says and doesn’t verbally touch on the other matter, you can’t speak on it because you’ll fall deeper into the abyss, and this time she’ll be dragged with you. That’s why you share that grief with the embrace, and when you pull back you speechlessly share your condolences in between your gleaming gazes.

“You better come back,” she says as she grabs onto you with a fear of letting go. “Please.”

She’s lost just as much, making you the last person she has close to her heart.

“I will,” you assure Shoko. “I swear.”

Shoko lets out a deep sigh and nods softly before she lets you go, letting you walk to Hakari standing close by.

“I believe in you Kinji,” you share a bit more tenderly than you intended. You wanted to be motivational considering when you come back he’ll be fighting Uraume. But oh well you don’t regret sounding too affectionate even if you are around his friends. “You have luck, and most importantly strong will. Just don’t play stupid.”

Hakari scoffs and nudges your arm. “Never. Not in my game.”

You share a soft laugh before you offer him a tender smile. “I’m proud of you. I just need you to know that. I’m proud of you, and Kirara,” you also mention them and glance over at them with the same affectionate look. “Fight hard, the both of you. And most importantly stay alive or I will drag you back just to scold you.”

Kirara chuckles before they close the gap between you with an embrace.

You’re taken back by the gesture even if you’re used to it by them, but feeling them embrace you without needing to ask for one and with an immeasurable amount of affection always surprises you.

“I’ll make it back,” you assure them as you return their embrace. “Kenjaku will hardly be an obstacle if all goes according to plan.”

“We’ll be counting on your return, master,” they whisper before they mumble, “I’m sorry for what happened.”

Your hand stiffens for a moment, but you then realize that you can’t just freeze and break down at the mention of your brother. Not right now, so you let out a shaky breath and pull back to grab their shoulders. “Be careful Kira.”

You look over at Hakari and direct the same thing at him. “You be careful too.”

“Always,” he winks at you and shoots you a smirk.

You scoff with amusement before you back away and turn to face Choso and Yuji.

Now you know you don’t have time to spare, but you have to get your point across to Yuji, so before saying your goodbyes to Choso, you instead approach his brother who is caught by surprise as he didn’t expect you to get so close.

“Listen,” you don’t take time to warm up to him. “You have a gift, Yuji, and great strength. Don’t let Sukuna tell you otherwise. But,” you add seriously while you carefully grab one of his arms and pierce your serious gaze into him so he can engrave what you say in his soul. “With this power and strength might come a responsibility that will fall on your shoulders. I wouldn’t want it to be up to you, and I know Choso doesn’t want it either, but if it falls on you, listen to your heart,” you say and point at his chest. “And your mind. Don’t get discouraged, it might happen, but fight and listen and you’ll know what to do. And whatever you choose it will be okay, it doesn’t make you any less strong. Hm?”

Yuji’s eyes soften and he doesn’t respond, but he offers you a grateful smile as he nods in comprehension.

“Good,” you say and pat his shoulder. “Be careful out there all right?”

“You too,” he redirects sweetly, making you offer him an assuring smile before you turn away from him and approach Choso, choosing to immediately meet him with an embrace.

“Please be careful,” he tells you with worry that makes his voice quiver. “Please.”

Now that you’re in his arms you lose that confidence you held for the kids and shed tears. “Please live,” you press him too. “Please. I don’t want to raise these babies without you.”

Choso pulls back to grab your face and try and comfort you the best way he can even if he’s uncertain of the future. “I promise I will fight to stay by your side. I swear it. You will not raise the twins alone.”

You lean into his touch and gently grab his wrist. “I love you,” you murmur as you hold his soft brown eyes.

A smile spreads on his face and doesn’t hesitate to say it back. “I love you.”

You offer him a wobbly grin and lift your head off his hand to slide your hand over to grab the sides of his neck and assure him of something that’s been irritating him. “When I come back I will come with a piece of Noritoshi. I will avenge you, your brothers, and your mother.”

Without saying anything and making the unbelievable possible he falls deeper in love with you at the promise of revenge for him and those he deeply cherishes.

“I give you my word,” you press and manage to smirk. “Our kids will be able to live their lives without fearing your father.”

You will also get justice for the fact that Kenjaku took Suguru’s body, and killed Yuki, but you don’t tell Choso those parts. You keep it to yourself.

“You will find peace without him roaming this earth,” you finish making him grin.

“I love you,” he asserts proudly before he leans in and crashes his lips on yours to take you in for a passionate and lingering goodbye kiss.

You almost don’t intend to pull away, but you can’t stay here a moment longer, so even if it pains you, you pull back, leaving yourselves connected by a string of saliva that he wipes off.

“I’ll make my way back,” you add one more ounce of comfort before you leave him with a peck on his lips and then walk to Okkotsu patiently waiting for you.

Before you can reach him albeit, you dig your hand into your pocket and pull out your beloved Worm cursed spirit.

“Let’s get Suguru back,” you tell him confidently as he stretches himself so you cling him on your shoulders before you walk out with Okkotsu leading the way.

You’re an unlikely pair, but it’s what has to happen to kill Kenjaku.

——

*GOJO. WHERE? UNKNOWN*

A morbid silence set upon the group of men as Satoru finally really, deeply processed what happened, how the end of his life came to be.

And he knows that there isn’t anything that could’ve been done to avoid his fate, not when it came to someone like Sukuna, but…he’s dead now. Gone!

His mind is racing with that reality, and he badly wants to share it all to make sense of the whole thing, but he also already said all he needed to say with his friends, so he’s stuck just listening to his mind make sense of the craziness that is dying.

That is until one person comes to mind, someone he hasn’t talked about, someone that now weighs down on his heart; you.

Dying without regrets is something he wants to stick to, so he won’t regret dying and leaving you, but if he could change things he would make it so he wouldn’t have left you. After all, he promised he’d protect you, didn’t he? Now that he’s gone he can longer do that…

Just like he can no longer see Satori or the other kids you are going to have. He can no longer make up for lost time, or really make up for leaving that day 11 years ago. He can’t do anything with you anymore, he can only talk about you.

“So,” he rolls out casually and slowly glances over at Suguru. “Your wife…” he trails off and Suguru blinks before setting his gaze on Satoru and directing him a questioning look.

“What about her?” Suguru asks cautiously.

Satoru huffs as he nods slowly. “11 years huh?”

Suguru narrows his gaze and starts to predict where this could go. “Yeah—”

“Thanks for the invite to your wedding by the way,” Satoru just cuts him off, making Suguru huff. “I would’ve liked to be there to walk my sister down the aisle.”

“If it’s any consolation I didn’t get invited either,” Nanami interjects with a small smile.

“Me neither,” Haibara cuts in and jokes around, making all three men look at him and snicker before the focus is drifted back on the topic.

“Anyway—”

“Anyway,” Suguru cuts Satoru off now. “You know why you weren’t invited so please just drop it.”

Satoru parts his lips to argue, but there’s no point because Suguru is right…he wasn’t invited because you didn’t talk with him, you were still mad at him, so whatever, he’ll leave it be. Now albeit! Off to something else.

“Great kid, by the way, she really has spirit.”

Satoru smiles and at the same time he swallows thickly as he thinks about you having to tell Satori he’s gone; She’s going to be so sad…

When he looks over at Suguru however before he can feel anguish, he sees that Suguru is hunched over, with his head on his hand, and his face covered so it's impossible to see his reaction on the matter.

“Yeah,” Suguru whispers softly. “She takes after her mother.”

Satoru keeps looking at Suguru to wait for a small expression, but Suguru keeps his face hidden.

“You…did good raising her, she’s a good kid,” Satoru adds. “A lot nicer than her mother.”

Suguru finally raises his head and when Satoru’s eyes set on him he sees that there’s tears welled in his brown eyes. But even still, Suguru makes sure to correct him. “It wasn’t just me who raised her,” he says, and then says your name too as a reminder of who was also there to raise his beloved daughter. “We raised her together.”

“Well,” Satoru says softly. “You guys did good…I mean it surprised me that she knew about me.”

A smile finally breaks on Suguru’s features, a soft one filled with longing. “Thanks, and…she never wanted you to be a stranger to Satori. We would tell her stories and so would Nanami. Besides everything else, your sister never stopped loving you. When Satori was born…I would see how much she wanted you to be a part of her life again.”

The ache in Satoru's heart was already deep enough, and now hearing this?

He almost wants to cry but he doesn’t let himself do so, instead, he just smiles sadly at the ground.

“Did you know that Satori talks to me every night,” Suguru lets Satoru know with a hint of sorrow but also joy. “It doesn’t matter if she’s feeling really tired, or if it's past her bedtime, and she doesn’t care where she is, she always talks to me before she goes to bed…” Suguru pauses and drops his head again, this time the tears are obvious as Satoru watches them fall on the ground.

“She tells me about her day, what made her mad or sad. She tells me about what tooth she lost or if her mother was sad or mad. She…never forgets about me…”

“I know,” Satoru whispers as he keeps his eyes set on him. “My sister never lets her forget. And she tells me too—she would tell me too.”

Suguru swallows thickly and nods while his smile never leaves his face. “I try to visit her in her dreams. She always gets happy…it will never be the same as actually seeing her, but…for a moment it feels like I’m with her again….I miss her. I miss the both of them…” he whispers in a way that Satoru would’ve missed if he wasn’t so close.

Satoru would’ve also missed the tears that still fell from Suguru’s cheeks.

And seeing him so upset over something he can only long for now made him feel the need to comfort his best friend, but he just stays in his seat and feels bad without consoling his friend. Instead, he interjects with something else. In hopes that would help. “Well, your wife is married to a short man with blood manipulation.”

Behind him, Nanami shares a judgmental click of his tongue, not to be aimed at Choso or you, but it was for Satoru’s abrupt and thoughtless change in subject.

Yet Satoru doesn’t care, he goes on to complain. “I mean it wasn't even a year since you died and she married him.”

Suguru wipes the tears off his cheeks and slowly sits up with his eyes still averted. “Yes,” he says bluntly. “I know.”

Satoru leans forward abruptly. “Does that not make you mad? I mean, my sister, your wife is with another man. Whom she’s having babies with!”

Suguru shoots him a pointed glare. “You didn’t even like me and your sister together, Satoru, why do you care now?”

Satoru sputters and then scoffs and counters. “I was just looking out for you and her. You’re my best friend and she’s my sister, I didn’t want either of you to get hurt. I didn’t want to potentially face any of that trouble. And I care now because, I don’t know, it feels like she hasn’t processed you or what happened. Her fear of being alone let her get carried away before she could even process what happened.”

Suguru meets his gaze with a hardened glare and makes sure Satoru sees his frustration and disappointment for what he just said about you.

“You don’t really know your sister do you?” He retorts.

Satoru opens his mouth but Suguru interjects before he can say something stupid. “Your sister loves her children the way she wanted to be loved. She hates the way they taught her to hate. And she grieved me with every fiber of her being. I saw her, I would see her cry every night. I saw how depressed she got, how she hid it from the girls, from you. I saw her not value her life, she contemplated dying to ease the ache. So seeing her be happy, seeing someone make her smile is not something I’m mad about, I’m glad. All I want is for her to be happy, it sounds cliche, but it’s true because I love her, why would I want her to be miserable?”

Okay yeah, Satoru deserved that one. After all, he wants you to be happy too. He didn’t really see how hurt you were, maybe that’s why it was so easy to make assumptions and be mad for someone else.

He also never let himself see how much Suguru loved you, and how much you loved him. Sure running off with him required some kind of affection, but a part of him took you leaving with Suguru as some desperate move because you had no one else to go to. But once again he’s been proven wrong and learning again that you loved each other for real and a lot deeper than he ever considered.

However, there can’t be anything done about it now. Not even regret, so he decides to press Suguru one time. For the hell of it. “It doesn’t mean you can’t be jealous. You’re not even a little mad that your wife is with someone else?”

Suguru holds his gaze for a moment with a look of annoyance and disbelief at what was just said. However, he then drops his head and sighs. “Yes, I’m jealous that my wife is married to someone else…but it’s not like she can wait on someone that’s already dead. I can’t—”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Satoru cuts him off smugly as he sits back in his seat. “Don’t bore me with sappy shit.”

“You’re annoying,” Suguru grumbles and turns away. “Besides you killed me hence taking me away from my wife and my daughter,” Suguru is not afraid to say, making Satoru snap his head towards Suguru and gasp.

Yet there’s nothing that can be said, it’s true. As much as it hurts him, it’s true so he takes it.

Instead, he adds one more thing filled with sorrow. “I really hurt her now didn’t I?”

Suguru shifts in his seat and nods. “She knows that nothing could’ve been done to prevent what happened, but yes, you really hurt her this time.”

Satoru scratches the back of his head and whispers under his breath. “Damn it.”

A/N- I hope you guys liked it!! And thanks to @adrlsbbdbd for giving me the idea to add a Suguru and Satoru convo!!

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

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