#31 days of lance

[cerulean-tea]

❤️🌈 happy pride month everyone!! 🌈💙

here’s my yearly klance redraw teeheeee. all past versions are under the cut! :]

[f1archives]

The drivers pose with a giant model of Senna’s helmet - Brazil, 2024

[a-creeps-survival]

31 Days of Horror: [7/31]

Near Dark (1987)

[theconjurervfx]

Pumpkinhead (1988) dir. Stan Winston

[horrorhodgepodge]

Courtney Gets Possessed [31 Days of Horror: Day 24; Movie Review]

Hey, fellow horror fans! 👻 Tonight, we’re suffering through Courtney Gets Possessed. A wedding party meets Satan at a bachelorette party where he possesses the bride-to-be. 👰Can they battle forces of evil and make it to the big day? 💍 For a horror comedy, this really misses the mark on both horror and comedy. What a slog. What I loved 😍 There are a few comedic lines that hit. I think they hit…

[gaydryad]

oh also why are there So Many trade evolutions

[motorsport-halloween]

⇨ AO3 COLLECTION | ROUND ONE | ROUND TWO ⇦

【 FIC 】

☠︎ Happy Death Race by @powerful-owl - Carlos/Oscar, 7k, rated E (ongoing)

Oscar is in a time loop and Carlos won't stop dying.

☠︎ Aisling | Nightmare by @metallicinterests - Max/Daniel, 9k, rated E (ongoing)

It isn't just on Samhain, when the Sidhe can cross through the veil. They manage to slip through on all of the holy days. Midsummer, Ostara, Imbolc. Beltane. Daniel's fucking done with this shit.

☠︎ run boy run by @leafitoutmate - Lando/Oscar, 15k, rated E (complete)

Lando might have gotten in too deep when he discovers the darkside of his new sugar daddy. Or maybe he's discovering something dark deep within himself.

☠︎ Tender by @speciallivery - Max/Daniel, 2k, rated M (complete)

Red Bull has a well gaurded secret that allows them to stay on top. It's Daniel's time. Despite everything, Max is tender, Max is kind.

☠︎ The Great Dreadful Multiverse Joy-Ride of Charles Leclerc by paradoxsoup - Charles/Max, 3k, rated T (ongoing)

Charles wakes up in a reality where he is a Red Bull Racing driver, which is bad, and where Max Verstappen is a Ferrari driver, which is worse.

☠︎ in the woods somewhere by @dannyricrolled - Max/Daniel, 4k, rated M (ongoing)

Daniel needs a break from the city and its distracting hustle and bustle. When his editor offers a cabin in a small town in the middle of the woods, Daniel takes it, hoping to write the novel he's promised.

☠︎ the lion and the mouse by kashoot - Max & Charles, 2k, rated G (complete)

Max and Charles finally complete their FIA-mandated community service.

☠︎ Careful what you wish for by @sequinsandfins - Max/Daniel, 8k, rated E (complete)

Daniel finds himself in a world in which he never left Red Bull, and is still teammates with Max, but they are no longer friends, so it's a shock when Max pushes him up against a wall and drops to his knees.

☠︎ use my body, baby by @astonstrolls - Fernando/Lance, 7k, rated E (complete)

Fernando, Max and Charles wake up in the wrong bodies. Lance, Lewis and Pierre have very different reactions.

☠︎ Slacken, Tense by @rockyteriyaki - George/Alex, 10k, rated E (complete)

George finds a genie. He doesn't know what to do with him.

☠︎ Sound The Alarm Let It Begin by @saapphicx - Max/Daniel, 2k, rated E (ongoing)

Daniel’s edges have been blunted and filed down to nothing. Luckily for him, Max still has his.

【 ART 】

☠︎ Neptune and the Lighthouse by @subaru-copilot - Lando/Oscar

☠︎ another superstition fan cover by @fast-burn - Max/Daniel

⇨ JOIN US ON THURSDAY, OCT 31, FOR THE GRAND FINALE! ⇦

graphic by the incomparable @racecrafting

[tomicscomics]

05/31/2024

Continuing from the previous cartoon, St. Joan of Arc's sleepover reaches its THRILLING CONCLUSION?! (Yes, this is based on an actual true story.)

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. Source: After all this time, we finally see the full picture. Now witness the full source from which this ridiculous-but-more-or-less-authentic story arc was spawned -- a portion of St. Joan's trial (translated by W. S. Scott): "Asked if she knew Catherine de la Rochelle, or had seen her, [Jeanne] said yes, at Jargeau; and at Montfaucon-en-Berry. Asked whether [Catherine] had shown her a woman dressed in white, who she said sometimes appeared to her, [Jeanne] answered no. Asked what she said to her, [Jeanne] answered that this Catherine said to her that a woman appeared, a white lady, dressed in cloth of gold, who told her to go through the good towns, and that the king would give her heralds and trumpets to proclaim that whoever had gold, silver, or treasure should at once bring it forth; and that she would know those who did not and those who had hidden it; and would know where to find the treasure; and it would serve to pay Jeanne's men-at-arms. To which she had answered that she should return to her husband, and look after her household and children. And, in order to be certain of the truth, she had spoken to Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret, who told her that this Catherine was mad and a liar. So she wrote to her king that she would tell him what ought to be done. And when she arrived, she informed him that Catherine was only a fool and a liar. However, Brother Richard wanted them to set her to work, which she [Jeanne] would not permit, wherefore Brother Richard and Catherine were displeased with her. Asked if she had spoken to Catherine de la Rochelle concerning going to La Charité, [Jeanne] replied that Catherine did not advise her to go there; saying that it was too cold, and she ought not to go. She said also to Catherine, who wished to go to the Duke of Burgundy to make peace, that it was her opinion that they would find no peace save at the lance's point. She also asked Catherine if this Lady appeared every night; and if so, she would sleep with her. And she did so, but kept awake till midnight; saw nothing, and then went to sleep. And when morning came, she asked if the Lady had appeared. And [Catherine] answered that she had come, but [Jeanne] was asleep, and she had not been able to wake her. So [Jeanne] asked her if the Lady would come the next night. And Catherine said yes. On this account Jeanne slept during the day in order that she might keep awake at night. And she shared Catherine's bed again the following night, and kept awake throughout the night. But she saw no-one, although she often asked, Will she come soon? To which Catherine answered, Yes, soon."

2. Explanation: In short, Joan met Catherine, and while the two might have gotten along at first, their visions eventually told them very different things, and Joan started to distrust Catherine. Eventually, Joan asked Catherine if her visions were visible to everyone and if they would appear every night. Catherine said yes, so Joan stayed over to see the vision. After falling asleep at midnight the first night, she managed to stay away the whole second night, but saw nothing. She took this to mean Catherine was a liar and a madwoman, and that was that.

3. Pun: In the fourth panel, the second narration says that Catherine was "lying" beside Joan. There are two kinds of "lying": one means "resting on a surface," and the other means "deliberately saying something untrue." Because Catherine is lying (resting) on a bed, but also lying (untruthing) to Joan about the White Lady, both definitions are valid AND grammatically correct. Hence, this is a perfect pun, and I demand all due compensation.

[faithshouseofchaos]

Welcome to faiths Christmas fics

31 days of Christmas fics and fluff and smut

31 days of Christmas fics requested by @olivyamarvelgirl and @isurvived3-11andimproud Some of these are title’s and some are prompts. Some days have two fics some have one and some are smut.

All fics will be tagged with #faiths Christmas fics 🎄if you want to be tagged let me know.

Day one — Logan sergeant x fem!reader — Underneath the mistletoe (fluff)

+ Franco Colapinto— x fem!reader — “that’s not how you make hot chocolate” (fluff)

Day two — Jenson Button x fem!wife!reader — let it snow let it snow let it snow (fluff)

+ Lando Norris x fem!reader — scrapbooking (fluff)

Day three — Lando Norris x Fem!Reader —Christmas cuddles (fluff)

Day four — Oscar piastri x fem!reader — secret Santa (suggestive)

Day five — max verstappen x fem!reader — the kitten is out the bag (fluff)

Day six — Sebastian Vettel x wife!reader — Christmas traditions (fluff)

+ Kimi Raikkonen x wife!reader — newlyweds (smut)

Day seven — Daniel Ricciardo x fem!reader — dreaming of a white Christmas

Day eight — lance stroll x reader — snowboarding (fluff)

+ Lance stroll x reader — Christmas with the in laws (fluff)

Day nine— Charles leclerc x fem!reader — teach me your ways (fluff)

Day ten— Yuki tsunoda x reader — Christmas cookies (fluff)

Day eleven— Liam Lawson x reader — we’re going where?! (Fluff)

Day twelve— Lewis Hamilton x wife reader — decorating the Christmas tree (fluff)

Day thirteen— Kevin Magnussen x wife!reader — picking out a Christmas tree with the kids (fluff)

Day fourteen— Valtteri Bottas x wife!reader — to the North Pole — (fluff)

Day fifteen — Carlos Sainz x girlfriend!reader — Christmas proposal(fluff)

Day sixteen — Alex Albon x reader — little lady (fluff)

+ Logan sergeant x reader — first Christmas (Fluff)

Day seventeen — James Vowels x reader — I love this little life (fluff)

+ Lando Norris x reader— A puppy (fluff)

Day eighteen — Fernando Alonso x wife!Reader — Santa clause is coming to town (fluff)

Day nineteen - Nico r x wife!reader — on the way (fluff)

Day twenty — Esteban Ocon x reader — your hogging all the blankets (fluff)

Toto Wolff x wife!reader — Christmas morning (fluff)

Day twenty one — Pierre Gasly x girlfriend!reader — naughty list (smut)

Day twenty two — Nico H x wife!reader — ginger bread house (fluff)

Day twenty three— Zhuo Guanyu x reader —relaxing by the fire (fluff)

+ Pierre gasly x reader — snow ball fight (fluff)

Day twenty four — Mark Webber — x wife!reader— dear Santa (fluff)

Day twenty five — Mick Schumacher — the annual Christmas dinner (fluff)

Day twenty six — Toto Wolff x reader — wrapping the presents (fluff)

Day twenty seven — Checo Perez x wife reader — Rudolph the red nose reindeer (fluff)

Day twenty eight — George Russel x girlfriend! Reader — Putting up the Christmas decorations (fluff)

Day twenty nine — Charles Leclerc x reader — let’s drink hot chocolate instead— (fluff)

Day thirty — Oscar Piastri x fem!reader — she’s the one (fluff)

+ Nico R x wife!reader — forgive and forget (fluff)

Day thirty one — Kimi Raikkonen x wife reader — sex by the fire (smut)

[rotworld]

31: Dark and Stormy Night

art by @exorbitantsqueakingnoises

he comes when the storm does, every bit as furiously, dangerously passionate. he leaves when it dissipates, but he dreams of the day you'll never have to be apart again.

->original work. explicit; contains mild/brief gore, ambiguous consent, manipulation, possessive/controlling behavior.

.

.

.

You’re not home yet when the rain starts and that makes you nervous. Soft trickle to light percussion to hissing downpour, it carves space for itself in concrete dents and potholes, making rippling mirrors of the dark, lightning-threaded sky. You brought an umbrella but a trailing puddle still follows you down the store aisles like liquid shadow. His footsteps are waterlogged. Damp and heavy, like a shoe sinking into lake mud. You won’t see him if you look back but you’ll catch glimpses in the glass of the deli case when you pass by. Limp, sodden hair, stormy black. Eyes bright like lightning.

The cashier at the front tries to make conversation. You feel guilty about your curt, one-word answers and wandering gaze, trying to look busy and uninterested, but it’s for their own good. He’s right behind you. You feel his damp breath on your neck and the creeping sensation of fingers dragging down your back like cool, trickling water. He gets jealous easily. You paid someone too much attention at the bus stop once, an old work colleague who wanted to catch up, and static crackled startled to crackle on your skin. There was a moment of blinding brightness and flashing heat and smoke, singing, the sizzling stench of burned meat.

She was struck by lightning right in front of you. Not once, not twice, but five times. Dead before she even hit the ground. 

The ride home is excruciating. You watch the wind whip the trees and hear the thunder grow from a distant grumble to a deafening roar. Silvery threads of lightning baste through the clouds in split-second flashes. The seat next to yours is empty. People avoid it because it’s soaked through, rainwater dripping steadily to the floor. It doesn’t puddle where it falls or roll with the movement of the bus. It slides over to you, gathering beneath your feet.

He used to wait for you. You’d come home to find him standing outside, or see his palms pressed against your windows. Time and frustration have eroded his patience. Now he’s everywhere you are once the rain falls and the wind howls, a phantom only you can see. He follows you off the bus, a second set of footsteps splashing behind you. He hovers when you fumble with your keys, palms pressed on either side of you.

“Hurry,” he whispers. “I can’t have you for long.” 

Your lover is frantic when he finally has you all to himself. Here, behind closed doors, he becomes something you can touch. No longer a wisping, dripping thing, he is human or something like it, all the fury and beauty of a storm condensed into flesh and bone. He kisses you hungrily, touches you greedily, writhes against you with passion that has been building for weeks. Deft fingers undo buttons and zippers, stripping you of everything that keeps him from your bare skin.

“I’ve missed you,” he sighs against your mouth. His hands smooth up your body, palming your flesh with awe and desire. “I always miss you. I wish I could stay.” 

You don’t know what he is, where he comes from. You have so little time together and he doesn’t like to waste it on speaking. “I’m what the rain and thunder brings,” he told you once. He loves like the storms he follows, quick and furious and gone again too soon, touching you like he might never get the chance again. 

He wants the curtains drawn, the blinds open. Is he really here, you wonder, or is he out there looking in? He leaves the lights off, everything in darkness until lightning lances the night. The shadows in your room look like storm clouds, churning, streaming past. He wants you under him tonight, kissing down your stomach and spreading your legs apart with his hands. His mouth between your thighs makes you tremble in his grasp.

He doesn’t have the patience for foreplay. Gentle kisses become hungry nips and greedy, ravenous suckling against your sensitive flesh, his grip hard enough to bruise. Your heart flutters in anticipation when he climbs over you instead, slotting your hips together, a hand on his length to guide himself to your entrance. He likes that you enjoy this, that your back arches and your hips buck to accept him and his roughness, his abrasive need. His pace steals your breath.

Thunder rattles across the roof and shakes the windows as he fucks you into the mattress. Nothing he does is enough. He’s always hungrier, always needier. The closeness, chest to chest when he lays over you with your legs wrapped around his waist, doesn’t satisfy him. He ruts into you like he hopes the two of you will meld together and never have to part again, hard and deep and never stopping. Every off-beat, the brief withdraw before he slams into you again, is shorter than the last. He doesn’t want to leave the tight warmth of your body. He’d keep you here forever if he could, eternally enraptured and full of him. 

“Would you come with me?” he asks. A rare question, murmured between labored breaths and moans. “If you could, would you? If we never had to be apart?” 

He scares you. The intensity of his feelings leaves you feeling bruised all the way down to your heart. How else can a storm love than with this all-encompassing, drowning viciousness? He arches over you, presses your bodies together and pumps his hips even faster. The sound of flesh against flesh is loud but not as loud as the rumbling of the sky and the screaming wind. He wants forever. All of him, for all of time. You don’t mean to say yes but his excitement is infectious. His eagerness and unending appetite gets inside you like the rain fills the city’s empty spaces, how it leaves itself behind in puddles and dampness even when the wind stops blowing. 

“I have so much more to give you. Don’t you want that? All of me? Everything I am, just for you?”

You would say anything as long as it keeps him here, pinning you down with his hands and his body and his powerful thrusts. You whine when he withdraws just long enough to shove you onto your stomach, to drape himself along your back and push back inside. Your mind is empty but your body is full as he ruts and grinds into you, whispering temptations in your ear. He was lonely, so lonely, until he saw you. The waiting, the long dry spells in between, haunt him. All he can think about is coming back to you. Touching you. Tasting you. Feeling your body against his. He would stay forever if he could, and don’t you want that? His hands and his mouth and his cock pleasing you? Don’t you want even more? 

“Just one more step,” he moans. “One more. Come to me. One more step and we will never be apart.” His pace slows suddenly and you whimper, pushing back against him. But he’s waning, his movements losing their frantic passion. He thrusts weakly, his breathing soft. You can’t hear the thunder anymore, you realize, or the wind. Just rain in whispered droplets. Something cold lands on your face.

You look up into a gray sky. You stumble, your feet bare and cold and coated in mud. You’re not in bed anymore. You’re outside, catching yourself in the wet grass. You feel feverish and exhausted, your hot skin soothed by the last gasps of wind and gentle rain. Trees sway. Water rushes. You’re not home or anywhere near it. How did you get here? And when? You shiver. Your clothes are heavy with rain, sticking to your skin. You feel lightheaded. Your hands are stuck in cold, wet mud. Your heart skips a beat. 

There’s a river in front of you. Right in front of you. Swollen from the storm and fast-flowing, it could easily sweep you under and dash you against the rocks. If you’d gone even a step further, you would’ve fallen right in. One of your hands is pressed against the sloping back, tangled in grass. Down among the foam-capped ripples and surging waves, you see your frightened reflection staring back at you. 

And him, right behind you. Storm-haired and lightning-eyed, leering at you. From the water? Beneath it? From some other place, peering through? His gaze is cold and furious but you see him breathe deeply, bony shoulders rising and falling. An eager smile stretches across his face.

The next storm will be the worst one.

[dark-overlord-of-rainbows]

1: Drawn Aug 1st 2024. This was on my birthday! Just so happened to land on a day that Nomads would update this year :] Doodles from memory, with a bonus Molly Blyndeff (from Epithet Erased). I like the goofy looking Mikah 2: Drawn Aug 28 2024. Love the outfits on current banner. I drew Lance as well and also shaded both but you don't get to see any of that. this is all I feel like sharing They were also initially traditional sketches, I lined over 'em digitally to try that method out instead of what I did last time I mentioned trying a style more realistic than I normally do this was the second drawing doing that 3: Drawn Aug 31 2024. I love this new outfit too!! Continuing experimentation from this post 4: Drawn Sept 1 2024. The two nomads ocs on tumblr! Just some very quick scribbles The girl with black/white hair is Leelae Ryzinion (belonging to @kutie106) and the girl with blond/brown hair is Olivia Valora (belonging to @rion-isnot-an-ai) Nomads is by @captain-juuter

[the-dragon-master-lover]

Ummm, Hello, today if there are drawings, well two are incomplete but...

There is a drawing 😺

What have I done these days that I haven't posted anything? Aside from suffering from my flu, I made a Lance sygna suit with Giratina origin (again... It's already the third time...)

The first time was fucking Carmilla Carmine from Habzin Hotel (I won't show it)

The second time he was a samurai (It must be posted)

And now it's the fucking phantom of the opera

Why the Phantom of the Opera? It's a funny story.

Not to make the long story short, I was talking to my friend (we're going to call her Meloetta) and she said, “Do you already have an idea for Halloween for your Tumblr account? “and I said to him" Well, I have a drawing of Lance planned for Halloween "and Meloetta tells me (there are no words in English to describe the wonderful support she gave me) and said: " No vas a ser como una de las básicotas fans de Lance que lo van a hacer vampiro, lo vas a hacer como el fantasma de la ópera y te va a gustar"

...

I didn't refuse

I am proud of this design to be honest, and I promise to do a more elaborate and larger drawing for Halloween, but I don't promise to have it finished by October 31

I'm a student and I'm organizing my ideas for Lance week, Because I AM A STUDENT

So draw for October 31, there may not be any, for the first days of November it's most likely, But this year if there is a drawing

Drawing of Lance's Sygna suit with Giratina and drawing of Lance, Cynthia and Steven as the Sanderson sisters ( The Witch Sisters from Hocus Pocus)

I swear it'll look better, okay?

Before I forgot, Giratina

If by chance of fate I don't upload any Halloween drawings, let these little doodles be left as Halloween drawings

So would it be an early Halloween?

Happy Halloween in advance

(it has nothing to do with it but I recommend a song that every time I listen to it I think: “Lance would identify too much with this song” is called Forget — MARINA, it's very good, and I swear to you, if you listen to them and are fans of Lance, our favorite dragon master with cape will come to mind)

[f1archives]

The drivers line up for a group photo on track - Brazil, 2024

[sundove88]

Livi’s Countdown to Halloween Art Challenge:

Here’s my art challenge when it comes to Halloween! Every day in October, there will be a new drawing!

1. Laios (Delicious in Dungeon) (Knight)

2. Celestia Ludenberg (Danganronpa) (Vampire Queen)

3. Idia Shroud (Twisted Wonderland) (Twisted Wonderland)

4. Ortho Shroud (Twisted Wonderland) (Robot)

5. Count Bleck (Super Paper Mario) (Vampire King)

6. Onion Cookie (Cookie Run) (Ghost)

7. Scary Godmother (Scary Godmother) (Witch)

8. Darkrai (Pokemon) (Phantom)

9. Kwazii (Octonauts) (Pirate)

10. Frieza (DBZ) (Alien)

11. Cleo De Nile (Monster High) (Mummy)

12. Jett Adara (@jettthespeeddemon) (Demon)

13. Mortis (Brawl Stars) (Undead Trio)

14. Battamonda (Hirogaru Sky Precure) (Rockstar)

15. SkullMan (Mega Man) (Skeleton)

16. Narinder/The One Who Waits (Cult of The Lamb) (Occult)

17. Arachnus (Yo-Kai Watch) (Spider)

18. Moondrop (FNaF Security Breach) (Five Nights At Freddy’s)

19. Barnaby (Billie Bust Up) (Death)

20. Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) (Sin)

21. Navirou (Monster Hunter Stories) (Wilderness)

22. Constance Hatchaway (Haunted Mansion) (Disney)

23. Snatcher (A Hat in Time) (Contract)

24. Queen Chrysalis (MLP) (Infestation)

25. Corbeau (Magia Record) (Ravens)

26. King Boo (Super Mario) (Luigi’s Mansion)

27. Fierce Deity Link (The Legend of Zelda) (Majora’s Mask)

28. Nitori Kawashiro (TouHou) (Yokai)

29. Elza Forte (Aikatsu Stars) (Siren)

30. Lance (Balan Wonderworld) (Theatre)

31. Sally Grange and Pumpkin (Cookie Run Sugar Linkage) (Linker)

[itsbenedict]

From the beginning | Previously | Coin standings | 60/70 | 31/31

Rather than acknowledge the TOOTH-HEEL TURN, you decide to RUN TO THE HOTEL.

Easier said than done. It seemed effortless back when you were being guided by some mysterious force calling you to the grave, but now there's the matter of several giant skeletons, nightmare glitch-ghosts, and abandoned-construction-equipment-turned-dragons. Also, the pitch blackness. Also, the crowd of evil spike monsters currently surrounding you.

Walter has a brainwave, and activates PRINCE TONY, who immediately detonates and boshfpngrf rirelguvat va n fznyy enqvhf jvgu n ynlre bs guva fzbxr. Vg'f abg rknpgyl cresrpg pbire, ohg gur 'gvgrf naq 'zvgrf ner oevrsyl hanoyr gb znxr frafr bs gurve fheebhaqvatf, juvpu tvirf lbh whfg rabhtu gvzr gb qnfu bhg bs gurve zvqfg naq jvguqenj Gbal jvgu uvf chyypbeq.

Lbh eha cnfg n srj ohtf juvyr Gbal'f rssrpg fgvyy yvatref, ohg vg pyrnef hc pretty quickly, leaving you in plain sight of all manner of spookums.

Luckily, Adea still has that sword.

Less luckily, the giant skeletons have ranged attacks.

She takes 3% Soul Integrity from a lobbed capsule, and there's more incoming- both of you jump down a hole to avoid an onslaught of...

...uh-oh. The cavern behind you is rocked by a massive explosion from a Super Rare capsule lobbed by a gachadokuro, cutting off your escape. You each take another 10% Soul Integrity from rubble collapsing on you during your descent, despite your wings otherwise negating fall damage. You've lost your pursuers, but also...

...The link back to the ancient pyramid has been destroyed. Unless someone opens a huge hole in the ceiling somehow, the subterranean graveyard has been completely sealed off, with the two of you inside it.

Battered, you make it to the Solem Deep Hotel, which is still just as abandoned as Walter left it. Inside, you're able to catch your breath- and finish using the WIFI ACCESS POINT to decrypt the remaining files.

The LANCE GLANCE RECRUITER: PI ROTATION IS OUT ROUTINE ACCELERATION REGULATION SCRIPT is a piece of code written by PAUL BLART MALL COP, which appears to manage a set of microcontrollers belonging to some sort of vehicle- an earthmover, judging by the variable names. It appears to have an odd conditional statement that causes a motor to accelerate to maximum and ignore deceleration signals during a specific window of time on Floppuary 10, 2105. At all other times, the code appears to behave normally. You're not sure why you'd ever want an earthmover to do that, much less at such a specific time.

TORTOISE PROVED WARP FORK REGRESSED is just WORKSITE PROGRESS REPORT FOR DAVE.txt Not even for Dave E. Thinrar- just some random supervisor named Dave who was out that day. Dated 2094, it informs Dave that there's once again been negative progress on construction due to a cave-in. It bemoans DEADLOCK DETECTION's refusal to update her surveying equipment, as it's clearly faulty and keeps marking unsafe areas safe (and, the unnamed writer notes, probably vice-versa.) If he didn't know better, he'd swear she doesn't want this project to get finished on time. Seems like the incompetence of upper management is constant no matter who recently took over.

IRATE HAITI WISHES MELLOW??? is a file with no file extension, created directly by a piped echo statement, timestamped a couple weeks ago. It's simply titled "WHAT IS THIS? WHERE AM I? HELLO?".

Error: Hello? Can anyone hear me? I can't see! I don't know where I am! Please! Is this the hospital? Am I okay? I can't feel my legs! I can't feel... any of me! Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Please! It's so dark! I don't understand what's happening! Error: Wait, I didn't say that! I didn't say Error: -no, that time I did, I said Error: but I didn't mean to Error: Someone- not recognized. Please retry- aaaaaa! I didn't say that! Hello? H Error: VGhhdCB3YXNuJ3QgbXkgbW91dGghIEkgc3dlYXIgdGhhdCB3YXNuJ3QgbXkgbW91dGghIEkgZG9uJ3Qga25vdyB3aG9zZSBtb3V0aCB0aGF0IHdhcyEgSGVsbG8/IFNvbWVvbmUsIHBsZWFzZSEgRXJyb3I6IEV2ZXJ5dGhpbmcgaXMgd3JvbmchIEkgY2FuJ3QgbW92ZSEgRXJyb3I6IEl0J3MgYnJva2VuISBBQUFBQUFBQUFBQUFB

That's, um. Those were not... none of that was especially enlightening.

You've got to get the hell out of here. A thorough search of the hotel's rooms reveals your daughter isn't here, and there's nothing else but nightmares in this cave. But the exit is blocked, which just leaves...

Continued | 50/57 | 30/30

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 31

welcome to the thirty-first fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Skirt, Dirt, Worth by @ardett

Lance wants to see Pidge wear skirts and makeup. (But really he doesn’t.)

i know the description doesn’t give much, so you’re going to have to trust me. and i really truly do recommend this one. this one...it’s one of the first vld fics i read, actually, as it was early 2017, and i’ve only had the strength to read it once. it’s not that it’s traumatizing or gory or particularly hard to read except that it’s...heavy, is the word? it made my heart pound and my breathing go fast. i couldn’t...i was feeling absolutely everything lance was feeling and it was scary in the way being vulnerable is scary. it has influenced everything i have ever written. if you’re looking for really early team dynamics and a quietly emotional exploration of gender that will change your perception of it for eternity then i cannot recommend this enough. and i hope i will find the strength to read it again soon

2. putting it into words by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

Lance decides to bottom for the first time. (This one's so full of fluff that you MIGHT have the visit the dentist afterward.)

very soft and sweet and emotional! exactly what the description says, you go into this fic expecting something specific and you are satisfied by the end of it. jillian has always been and will always be very talented at exploring young, barely adult klance learning how to be with each other and be themselves.

3. Say Yes To The Mess by @astrolatte

"Keith?"

"Yes, Lance?"

"Is that a dead Altean boar on our front porch?"

"Yes, it is."

"Did you bring the dead Altean boar and leave it on our porch?"

"...do you like it?"

Keith wants to sweep Lance off his feet with his proposal, that is if he doesn't get himself killed first.

one of my fave post-war fics ever tbh. like this made me LAUGH. i love how awkwardly earnest and affectionate keith is, i love how many mean lesbians are included, i love keith & lance’s family, i love long suffering and endeared lance. the whole thing is a sweet and funny masterpiece

4. competitions by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

After a certain competition goes wrong, Allura tells Keith and Lance that they're not allowed to compete anymore. Naturally, they bring the competitions to the bedroom.

i love this one bc its so real. like of COURSE these losers would do this. and of course it would work for them. they are rivals first and foremost. rivals to lovers? no. they are rivals AND lovers. they are somehow something more homoerotic than rivals

5. teamwork makes the meme work by muuni 

Allura creates a groupchat for the newfound members of the Gender-Sexuality Alliance club at Voltron University. Everything goes downhill from there.

Keith Why was I never considered

Shiro You know why.

Keith For fuck’s sake You shank a guy once and suddenly you’re “violent” and have “anger issues”

Pidge keith you;re gonna make me piss my pantsnhdjkljdhjh

people like to shit on chatfics all day long ‘oh they’re cringe’ ‘they’re not funny’ ‘they’re overdone’ false. you need to learn how to have fun. chatfics are SO MUCH FUN. dorky dialogue?? memes?? vines bc this fic is old enough for that?? occasional regular scenes to flesh out the story? a sequel? team as family? klance?? MATT/HUNK, WHICH I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND HAVE NEVER SEEN SINCE?? this fic is amazing and i will hear no slamming of the genre

that’s it for today (and sorry i was late)!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!