#31 Minutes

[skrumbly-booplo-incorporated]

Winners' Reset – Match 3

[vichi60]

deeply obsessed with 31 minutos and one character in particular i’ll not name (it’s too noticeable)

[do-you-know-this-baby]

Do you know this baby?

and small version

[repulsivethoughts]

this started as a joke with my siblings, then I got more and more ideas jssjsj

[helloree1]

CACHOOOOOOO

[seashellisinmyheart]

*sobs in English*

[l8news]

Tulio, estamos al aire: El servicio de streaming Prime Video lanzará una nueva película de 31 Minutos en 2025. El filme aún no tiene título ni fecha de estreno, pero si un teaser tráiler ligeramente navideño. [x]

[k0miisa2]

Mi primer aporte con un dibujo para esta serie y esta ship que amo <3 ¡HAGANLOS CANON YA!

---------(English translation according to Google translator)-----------

Juanin: Not having eyes is not so bad, I like that no one doesn't know where am I looking

[theultimatesexypeopleshowdown]

[skrumbly-booplo-incorporated]

Losers' Round 3 – Match 4

[angelleplaytoonbeary]

🎩🐰❤️ No matter how much time passes, Bodoque will continue to exist in our hearts ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ ❤️🐰🎩

English: "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a well-informed optimist"

[sweet-tragedys-stuff]

Jajaja, I didn't know that "31 minutos" had English subtitles

[shipirashi]

I had problems and on the 20th I couldn't do it.

When October ends you will know which is my favorite movie.

[morumott0]

No te metas con los fans de Policarpo (literalmente solo soy yo)

[aliceptiche]

Hello 31 minutos community 🤙🤙

[seashellisinmyheart]

I Never Watch Television: A 31 Minutes Novel

English Translation

Chapter One: Part One

I am splitting the chapters into two parts since the post would be too long otherwise.

Please note that I am not a professional, so I cannot guarantee that there won't be grammatical errors. Enjoy!

Chapter One - Part One

‘This is very, very, very, very, extremely strange.’ Juanin Juan Harry says to himself. 

The small, hairy television producer feels something strange as he pedals quickly on his tricycle through the streets of Titirilquen.

Something is happening, or rather... NOTHING is happening. That's what's strange!

Like every morning, Juanin is on his way to his beloved job at 31 Minutes, the most truthful news program on television. Juanin lives, and works hard for his job. He left last night, after turning off the channel's lights, and he is always the first to arrive the next day!

This morning, however, feels different. He doesn't hear the traditional honking of angry vehicles. Nor the shouts of Freddy Turbina and his fellow cyclists protesting against the angry vehicles. No Huachimingo desperately chasing fluff stirred by the morning wind. There is not even wind or fluff! No accidents, no crying babies, not even a little bird being chased by a cat…

And the most incredible thing: Nobody is talking during that fateful morning hour! Everyone moves forward, like never before, happy with their travels. Smiles are the only thing Juanin sees, amazed.

He arrives at the station. So intrigued that he leaves his tricycle at the entrance and runs up the stairs. In the 31 Minutes press room, the always full screen that shows ‘tragedies, emergencies, and disasters’... does not indicate any activity.

Zero tragedies, zero emergencies,, zero disasters. At that moment, Juanin realizes nothing newsworthy is happening today. There is simply NO NEWS! 

The stagehands, small stick-like beings who officially prepare the broadcast everyday, move energetically through the studio.

Juanin, meanwhile, is spinning around worriedly. Thinking about what to do. What worries him the most is how Tulio Trivino will react to this unprecedented situation. 

Tulio is his beloved and admired boss. The most famous news anchor in Titirilquen. And the only one. Tulio is a somewhat eccentric, ridiculous, slightly ignorant journalist and not exactly a genius. Some even say that he is an egoist who only think about himself. And it is true. But Juanin considers him his friend and will always be grateful for being given his reason for living: his job.

Minutes and hours pass without Tulio arriving, but that is no surprise to Juanin. “He must have fallen asleep again,” he thinks. Tulio sleeps at least sixteen hours a day, as instructed from his personal holistic therapist. He also has a bad habit of turning off his phone, alarm clock and doorbell in his mansion. And of course, he sleeps with earplugs over his earplugs.

As is often the case, Juanin decides to do the most practical thing. Call a helicopter to bring Tulio to the station with his bed and everything, piloted delicately so as to not wake him up until the last minute.

But that is not necessary. Suddenly, through the windows, he hears the powerful roar of his boss's latest model grey convertible. A gift from his personal friend, the Sheikh of Flufistan. The vehicle was sent to Tulio as an unbirthday present via Philippine canoe, along with half a dozen dwarf hippos. 

Tulio parks in his exclusive place by the door, marked by a large star on the floor with the words “reserved only for Tulio with absolute and eternal exclusivity until the end of time. Amen.”

Juanin runs to tell Tulio about the problem with the lack of news. 

“Tulio, Tulio! We have a little problem!”

“Now is not the time, Juanin...”

Tulio is too rushed to listen to his faithful producer. He walks down the long corridor of the channel, while being made up and dressed by his subordinates. 

“But, Tulio…”

“Enough, Juanin. First you forgot to wake me up and now you try to delay me with your blathering! I remind you that I have a newscast to host!” 

The journalist arrives at his desk fully made up and dressed in his custom made ue suit.

Just in time! The music starts, the cameras turn on and Juanin has no choice but to give the signal.

“We're on the air!”

The cameras focus on Tulio Trivino's face. His yellow button eyes shine under the powerful light of the spotlights. All the attention of every television in Tititilquen is, as every day, centered on what news will be presented today.

Tulio Trivino runs his hand through his head, combing his non-existent hair. Then he clears his throat and looks directly at the camera.

“Hello, friends, I'm Tulio Trivino and this is a new edition of 31 Minutes, the most important news program on television. Let's get to the latest news…”

Tulio waits for the information. Everyone on the set does too, but nothing happens. “Cri-cri.” Some crickets chirp. Tulio looks at Juanin, nervous.

“Where is the latest information, Juanin?” he asks, impatiently.

“That's what I wanted to tell you, Tulio.” The producer answers. “Nothing has happened in the last minute.”

“NOTHING??”

“Actually, there has been no news all day…

“No? Oh, but, what do we do, Juanin?!”

Surprisingly, the producer seems very calm. The hours of waiting for Tulio have given him the opportunity to reflect and draw happy conclusions from what is happening.

“Oh, Tulio… I was nervous like you too, but not anymore. Relax.”

“How do you expect me to relax? Don't be ridiculous!”

“But Tulio. Think about it carefully. There has been no theft, no crime, no injustice, no war. Doesn't that make you happy in the depths of your soul?”

“Of course not!”

“No???”

“But Juanin, this is a newscast. I AM A NEWSCASTER! We live off the misfortune of others! We need news, tragedies, disasters, and nonsense, you pacifist! We have been here for years reporting the greatest events in history… Who revealed the torturous route of the poop? Where did we finally manage to interview the elusive Mr. Invisible Mute? Who immortalized the mass photos of naked puppets by Jacob Fotonolowski? We informed the world about the end of the world and also its restart immediately after! We made the world aware of Denis Danis's fast paintings and made the first live coverage of a robbery, reported by my daring niece Patana! And what about the Zapandilla that ravaged the streets of the city? Or the true identity of the tooth mouse? Or the balloon that that poor innocent Carlitos Lechuga lost? Or the serious case of obesity from last year's gloves? We denounced the horrors of the Sea War between Salsacia and Conservia! Without us, nobody would know the exploits of the great superhero Calcetin con Rombos Man, nor the plague of zombies the day before yesterday, nor the crimes of the master of disguise Lulo Serrucho… So many other hot and delicious news!!!! Understand once and for all, Juanin, a newscast without news would leave us without work!”

Hearing this, Juanin begins to tremble. As we know, working is his great passion. And his only one.

“No job? Oh no!”

“Oh, yes!” Tulio replies.

“But then, what do we do???” Now Juanin is the desperate one. 

“Relax, I have a solution, Juanin. I'll tell it live on camera 1.”

Tulio adjusts his tie and looks back at the camera, doing his best influential public figure voice.

“Dear viewers, I'm very sorry, but there's no news today. So, while the producer of this show somehow solves the problem… I'll take the day off. Let the music and the final credits roll! And I'm off to the beach!”

The credits of the show appear on the screen, accompanied by it's characteristic music. Tulio throws the cards with nothing written on them into the air and runs away, happy. Finally, he will be able to test drive his new yacht with a double jet engine, a gift from his personal friend, the Prince Consort of Nadalisburgo!

“But… but… was that your solution?” Juanin shouts confused and alone. 

Juanin freezes, or so it seems. All his years as a producer have not prepared him for this moment. He, who knows perfectly well what to do if a meteorite falls on Earth, or if the bathrooms flood, or if a baby elephant invades the cafeteria. He, who knows by heart the protocol for fires, floods and incendiary floods! The only one who knows how to calm down the interviewee who gets angry because Tulio is a pest, or Tulio if he gets angry because the interviewee is a pest.

But a newscast without any news? Is it time to think about another profession? Just when poor Juanin begins to fear a long vacation, a miracle happens…