#3:28am send post

[pinchinschlimbah]

Monday night I put in a maintenance request because my shower is broken and I have no hot water and Tuesday afternoon I confirmed shipping on my Buyee package with the cheapest option it gave me...tell me how my package from Japan got here (east coast USA) faster (Thursday afternoon) than the maintenance guy who lives in my building and still hasn't marked the request as in progress??

I may not have hot water but at least I have Them <3

and for funsies, the whole gang so far! No I don't have a problem don't worry about it

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch. 3 returning the favor

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 3/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 4.5k

a/n. hope you enjoy! i really had fun incorporating a lot of the other characters in this one.

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

|| 9:21AM Gojo Satoru sent you a photo

|| 9:22AM Gojo Satoru: Here’s our practice schedule for the week. Honestly, it’s better if you come when we do practice games or something, since on other days we just do drills or strength training, but coach doesn’t really tell us what we’re doing beforehand so would probs have to play it by ear

|| 9:27AM Gojo Satoru: Oh yeah, we’ve got a big game in three weeks on the 28th. It’ll decide if we’re automatically seeded into the top 16 teams bracket, which is really crucial if we want to eventually bring home the championship. Not sure when your assignment is due, but that would be a good official game to come to 

|| 9:28AM Gojo Satoru: Let me know as soon as you can if you want to make that game. I’ll have to ask coach to get the referee sign-off for you to be on-field during play at least a week before

You look down at all the messages he was sending you during class on a Monday morning. After he sent you that house party details post from his fraternity’s Instagram page last week, their posts kept popping up in your feed and you saw one this morning with a bunch of the guys in the frat, Gojo included, shotgunning beers until 3AM last night. You marvel at how he’s somehow not hungover beyond repair and is texting you before noon. 

Pressing and holding on to his messages, you give him little thumbs up reactions and you decide on a heart reaction for the picture he sent you of the practice schedule. Then, you set your phone down and look at the video of the men’s soccer team highlights your professor was playing from the game a week and a half ago.

“Here, here, this right here. Midfielder #24 surveyed the field, spotting #13 making a run for it down the flank. Pinpoint pass to left winger, who starts steering through defenders, but loses the ball. Then, center forward #10 steals the ball back! He steals the ball, he fucking steals the fucking ball back!” Your professor was running back and forth in front of the projector screen, his finger following the movement of the soccer ball in the video. Your heart jumps a beat when Gojo shows up on screen, with his signature #10 jersey, and some people in the lecture hall stand up in excitement with the professor. “Beelines towards the goal, and BAM! Goalie stood no fucking chance, ball sent immaculately into the back of the net. Victory for UTokyo, 2-1, in the last seconds of the game!" Your professor cheers and jumps up and down. Some people cheer with him, others sigh, others are in awe, and some simply clap. 

Another entire lecture goes by where the professor spends absolutely no time going over film photography theory and instead just talks about how soccer used to be back in his day. You approach him after class, clutching your laptop case to your chest, and it’s only when you clear your throat in front of him that he finally looks up at you from the podium. 

“Oh, y/n, how can I help you?” He asks as he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

“Hey, professor. Bit of a request, could I have like two extra days for my assignment? There’s this event that I really want to use for the subject matter but it’s the day before the deadline, and I would need some time to develop my photos,” you say in the politest tone you can muster up.

“Yeah, sure. Just get it in before the end of the deadline week,” he says nonchalantly. “Looking forward to seeing it. Good work on the last one, by the way.”

You give him a smile and a word of appreciation before turning on your heel and making it up the stairs to exit the lecture hall, pulling your phone out of your tote bag. 

|| 9:53AM You: i can make it on the 28th. please get that referee permission for me

You press your lips together as you press send, and then type a bit more.

|| 9:54AM You: and thanks a lot

Your stomach is suddenly growling and you’re about to head over to the student hub when your phone starts ringing. You look down at the contact name that says Nobara and pick up.

“Hey, Nobie, what’s up,” you say as you make your way towards the heart of campus, enjoying the light breeze as the sun peeked through the clouds. 

“Where are you? Didn’t we have a Film Club meeting today?” She asks you, her tone a bit impatient. “We were supposed to discuss that collaboration with the school newsletter.”

Shoot. You forgot. These days, you were a bit too distracted by recent happenings, like Mina practically falling head-over-heels for a guy that was quite possibly the opposite of her type, the towering amount of class assignments that never seemed to end, and this whole arrangement you were trying to coordinate with Gojo Satoru. The Film Club meeting totally slipped your mind. You were supposed to head out of class a bit early to make it on time. “I’m so sorry, Nobara. I totally forgot about it. I’m unfortunately all the way on the other end of campus right now. I typed up some notes in the document, can you just run those by them? If we need anything else, I’ll reach out to them by email.” 

She sighs on the other end of the line. “Yeah. I’m not good at these conversations, but I guess as President I should be better at them anyways. I’ll let you know how it goes.” And then she hangs up. 

Mentally happy that you were at least free of one other obligation today, you prepare to make your way to the dining hall when your phone vibrates again.

|| 10:01AM Gojo Satoru: Will do, and sure thing. By the way, you free right now? Coach is having us do a practice game, probably for around 2 hours

You squint your eyes at his message, considering the opportunity. You didn’t have any other classes left for the day and were just going to grab something to eat before heading home, but now you wonder if you should make it to this practice session. He did say that you have to be flexible since he doesn’t even know exactly what they’ll end up doing before practice, so you figured this might be your only chance this week to practice capturing shots of them as they play, since it seemed like they had Tuesday & Friday off based on Gojo’s schedule picture. Unfortunately, you only brought your digital camera with you today since your film camera was too heavy to carry around unless you knew you needed it, but you can still do a lot with digital that would help for the film camera shoot. You could make it work.

|| 10:05AM You: yeah, i’m free. i was just gonna grab something to eat first, and then i’ll head over to the field in maybe 15 min. but i’m not exactly sure how to get onto the field, or where the entrance is…

He adds a heart reaction to your message which startles you a little bit. An accident, maybe?

|| 10:06AM Gojo Satoru: Lol, just meet me at that weird art sculpture they put up last semester. The one that cost like all of our tuition money. I’ll walk you to the field

You let out a sigh, somewhat nervous that you'll be seeing him again soon. The last time you saw Gojo was when you left him standing unceremoniously at the kitchen island with a somewhat offending comment. Nonetheless, he didn’t necessarily seem angry at you. Quite the opposite, actually. He’s been way more helpful than you had ever anticipated. You started to feel like the effort you put into getting Mina to go to that house party was nothing compared to the effort he was putting in for you to ace this assignment. 

Stopping by your school’s mini grocery store, you pick up a sandwich plus some strawberry vanilla soda, and take some bites as well as some sips as you leisurely make your way to the expensive art sculpture near the sports fields. As you get closer to it, you see Gojo from a distance talking to some people. A few of them were guys, a few of them girls, and he was laughing out loud at something one of the girls said. A part of you wonders what it’s like to be adored by so many people. 

When he spots you at the other side of the cross walk, he doesn’t break eye contact with you as he’s hurriedly saying goodbye to the group in front of him. Their heads turn to each other in confusion before turning their attention in your direction as he makes his way over to you.

“Hey,” he says as he lightly jogs up to the sidewalk you were standing on. You notice he’s wearing a black long sleeve undershirt with a short-sleeved blue one on top, along with some athletic black shorts and running shoes. When he brushes some of his hair away from where it had fallen near his eyes, your heart skips a beat at his handsome expression. A smile graces his face. “You ready?”

You nod, swallowing the mouthful of sandwich you didn’t realize you had stopped chewing, and follow his lead as the two of you cut across behind the batting cages of the school’s softball training area. Your eyes fell to Gojo’s back as he walked on the pavement. His shoulders were broad, shoulder blades pulling the upper half of the fabric of his clothing somewhat taut across as the rest of it freely flowed down to his lean lower back. The long sleeved shirt he wore underneath was pretty loose-fitting, but you could still see the thickness of his muscles. With every step that he took, his calves flexed in a way that made you realize he must really work out.

“What are you eating?” He says as he turns around to face you, walking backwards for a few paces as he looks at your hands.

“Oh, just a veggie sandwich,” you answer as you hold it up next to your face. “Campus delicacy.”

His smile widens. “And what are you drinking?” This time he asks with a bit more curiosity.

“It's strawberry vanilla soda,” you say as you juggle all of the things you were holding in your arms. 

“Can I have some?” He asks with a somewhat innocent tone. “The soda, I mean. I’ve never had that flavor.” 

You hesitate, but alas you were a people-pleaser. “Sure.” 

He halts his movements and so you do too, and he closes the gap between you two in one exaggerated stride. His hand gently pulls the soda bottle out from where it was tucked into your elbow to keep it from falling. You notice the veins on his hand get more defined as he squeezes & twists to release the cap and it sends something akin to a wave of arousal through your body, entirely startling you. But when he brings the bottle up to his lips with his head tipping backwards, drinking directly from it, neck bobbing as he swallows and a single drop trickles down the expanse of his jawline, the arousal directly hits you at your core. 

“Hm,” he licks his lips. “That’s pretty good.” 

You’re standing there in shock, your grip on your sandwich causing dents in the bread. He dabs the stray droplet of liquid at his chin with the back of his hand and turns around to keep walking ahead, making his way up the stairs onto what looks like a grassy field. It takes you a second to start moving too, and by then you need to do a light jog just to catch up to him. 

There’s a comfortable silence that develops between the two of you and when you glance at Gojo, you notice his eyes are closed and there’s a serene smile on his face, a gust of wind pushing the hair up out of his forehead and sending the blades of grass dancing across the hilly field. You smile too at the sensation of cool wind on your skin. It was a beautiful day outside with sparkling sunshine and quiet whistling wind.

“Can I ask you something?” You say after contemplating if you should interrupt his somewhat meditative state. 

“You can ask me anything,” he easily replies. 

“Why are you so willing to help me out with my assignment?” 

He turns his head to look at you with a neutral expression. “Because you did me a favor.” 

You sigh. “I know…but it really wasn’t that hard to convince Mina to go to that party. I feel like you’re helping me out way more than I helped you out.” A small ladybug lands on the fabric of your jeans and you marvel at it before it flutters its wings and flies away.

He’s silent for a second. “Honestly, when you agreed to help me out with Todo’s little crush, which by the way I had to do because I lost a bet, and you mentioned something about terms and conditions in your message,” he starts to say, a brief pause making its way between the sentence as if he was actively trying to relive that first night he was texting you, “I thought you were going to ask for something sexual in return.” 

Your mouth drops at his line of thinking, suddenly mortified. That’s how your message came across to him? Oh my God, you had to rethink how you texted everyone in your life from now on.

“I mean, weren’t you being a little flirty? ‘My terms and conditions will come later’. Or do I just have some weird sexual brain rot?” His eyes are still on you, his tone way too casual in your opinion for this sudden topic of conversation. You also realize that he thinks having sex with him would be returning you the favor. And then you try not to think about how good he probably is in bed. 

When you can’t think of what to say and just stare at him with wide eyes, he smiles and stretches his arms out in front of him as another gust of wind passes by. “Well, anyways, when you shared what you actually wanted from me and it ended up being a pretty earnest request…let’s just say I was emotionally moved by your dreams and aspirations.” He says that last part somewhat dramatically and you roll your eyes, sending him an annoyed look. “A little disappointed, but nonetheless moved.” 

“Wow, you’re the type of person that would trade favors for sex?” you ask him with a sneer to your tone. 

He sends a lazy smirk to you over his shoulder to where you’re trailing behind him now. “Not really, no, can’t say I’ve ever done it before,” he says slyly, “probably would’ve made an exception for you, though.” And then he’s giving you a wink.

You can’t help but blush a little. He was definitely just teasing you, some hobby of his that he does just to constantly get a kick out of the people around him since he knows he just has that much of an effect on them, so you try not to let his words get past your skin to the more vulnerable parts of you. He’s reading your expression before he speaks up again.

“We’ve already started this little return favor of yours, so no take-backs. It’s an eye for an eye. Not an eye for an eye and throw some casual sex in there, too.” He makes his way up what seems to be the largest hill across the field and he stops at the top, peering out at whatever was across from it. When you made your way to the top too, your eyes widened as you saw an expanse of flat grassiness covered in orange cones, green land markers, white chalk outlines, and netted goals. Oh, and a lot of men. “Alright, you freaky little photographer. Here are your muses.” 

You let out the breath you were holding in and smiled, hands immediately reaching for your digital camera case within your tote bag. A wave of creativity and inspiration hit you as you were finally able to lay your eyes on your subject matter and setting, and you couldn’t wait to get started. 

Gojo makes his way down the hill and you stumble after him. He high-fives a couple of his teammates that were leaving the first wave of practice and makes his way over where the second-wave practice players were stretching on the field and running laps.

“C’mon, Itadori, I’ve seen snails with a more urgent sense of direction than you! Pick up those goddamn knees!” You hear a loud voice from a few feet away from you and flinch, eyeing the scary looking man that had a…Pomeranian dog in his arms? He was wearing a black athletic jumpsuit and had extremely tinted, thick sunglasses on. His facial hair was a bit jarring and you immediately decided you were scared of him, despite how gently he was petting the little dog cradled in his arms. 

“That’s coach Yaga,” Gojo says beside you with a smile on his face and his hands on his hips. “Real nice guy.”

You turn to give him a suspicious look and he just returns it with a wider smile. 

“Hey! It’s y/n,” you hear a somewhat familiar voice call out and you glance at the direction it came from. You see Geto standing next to Nanami and he whacks his hand against the blonde's chest to get his attention when he makes eye contact with you before jogging over. You see Gojo put his hands in his shorts pockets in your periphery. “What are you doing here?” 

You give him a shy smile, suddenly embarrassed by the attention. “Here to take some photos.”

“Are you with the school newsletter?” Nanami’s smooth voice says as he approaches Geto, standing next to him. They both were wearing matching blue tracksuits. 

“No, I’m not. Just here to…take some photos for one of my classes. It’s for a film photography assignment.” You suddenly wished you were part of the school newsletter committee, so that you could at least provide them with some positive publicity with your photos. You wondered if they would think you’re just using them. As if Gojo could read your mind, he patted Geto harshly on the back and let out a loud, obnoxious laugh.

“Hear that, punks? She wants to try and take some nice photos of you lot. Be grateful! Of course, your grotesque appearances cannot simply be fixed by any technology yet known to man,” Gojo says rather loudly, continuing to smack Geto on the back. Geto has a small pitiful smile on his face and Nanami just looks annoyed. You feel lighter somehow, less tense. 

“Okay, cool, let us know if we can help in any way,” Geto says kindly as he sits down on the grass to continue stretching out his legs. “Oh by the way, Satoru, Chosou’s out sick today so you might need to cover for goalie.” 

“What? Why’s that fucker always getting sick?” Gojo says as he walks towards one of the duffle bags on the bench, and you assume it’s his. He pulls out a water bottle. “He needs to stop eating that goddamn grocery store sushi.” 

“Oh! Oh! It’s you,” another somewhat familiar voice calls out from ahead. You see a guy wearing a dark blue jacket that had a red hood approaching you from the inner field. Then you recognize he was that guy at the entrance of the house party that called you a- “It’s casual tomboy!” 

Your eye twitches slightly as you take in your appearance. Sure, you were wearing jeans again, but your top was somewhat stylish and feminine. He arrives in front of you and notices the digital camera hung at your neck. “Hey, what’s that?” He points directly at your midriff where the camera sat. He almost pokes his finger right through the delicate attachable lens that cost you nearly two months of rent.

“A little rude, Yuuji,” Geto says, grunting as he switches from one stretch to the other. 

Yuuji gets closer to you to study the camera and you instinctively lean away from him before Gojo is grabbing him by the hood of his jacket and yanking him away from you, Yuuji’s arms flailing out in front of himself in a struggle. “Hey, get back to practice. You’re not allowed to talk to pretty seniors.” 

Coach Yaga grunts and crosses his arms from where he stood a few feet away, the tiny pomeranian now barking at his feet. “I never said you could stop running laps, Itadori! Get your ass back out there! I’ll be sending you to recreational soccer for the rest of your freshman year if you don’t get your damn head straight!” Gojo lets go of Itadori’s hood and the poor boy is scrambling across the field to join what seems like the other first-years for their warm-up laps. Coach Yaga turns to you and gives a hmph before vaguely gesturing to you. “May I know what you’re doing out on my field?”

“Coach!” Gojo says, making his way over to the scary man. He slings his arm around his neck and the man just continues to glare at him through his sunglasses. “She’s with me today. Photographer y/n will be taking some handsome photographs of you that you can send to your wife, and then maybe your wife will actually want to-”

Coach Yaga puts Gojo in a headlock and Gojo’s instantly tapping on his back to get him to ease up. “I dare you to finish that sentence, boy.”

You let out a small laugh. This was certainly a lively bunch. Nanami approaches you and expresses interest in your camera. You lift it up for him to take a closer look. He pinches his chin between his bent index finger and thumb, as if he was a detective analyzing a crime scene. “I see…so this is a film camera.” 

“Ah…” you laugh awkwardly. “No, this is just a digital camera.” 

“I see…so this is a digital camera,” he repeats, equally as intrigued. 

The time eventually comes along where all the players start the practice match. There’s obviously not enough players out on the field for full teams on each side, but they’re split into 1st & 4th years vs. 2nd & 3rd years. You learn that the second wave practice group has the talented players at the top of each of their year groups. Gojo doesn’t seem to participate in the practice match despite one team having to omit having a goalie since the coach requested he sit out to watch the plays and make suggestions.  You’re a bit sad you don’t get to see him play, but figured you’ll have a chance in the future. You take a few snapshots as one of the other first-years, a quiet boy named Megumi, kicks the ball towards the goal that ends up bouncing off the goal frame. You spend some time tweaking the exposure, zoom, and focus until you feel like you have a pretty good idea of the settings you’ll need to get some fluid shots. 

When you look up over the field again, raising your digital camera to your face, you notice Gojo looking at you from across the field where he stood at the sidelines. You both keep your gaze on one another for a couple of seconds, and you boldly lift the camera up to your eye, taking a few snapshots of him. When you pull it away, look down at the results on the small screen, and then glance back up at him, his eyes are slightly wide. Something stirs within you when you remember his words from earlier: I thought you were going to ask for something sexual.

Your mind wanders back to the party from last weekend, and the feeling of him leaning down next to your ear in the kitchen as he said “Thanks, I owe you one. Find me later, ‘kay?” The memory itself made your cheeks feel warm. Did he…think that something was going to happen that night at the party? Probably would’ve made an exception for you…Disappointed, but nonetheless moved. Somewhere in the haziness of your thoughts, you realize that meant that Gojo would’ve wanted to sleep with you if that was indeed your condition.

When you look to the other side of the field again, Gojo’s eyes are still on you but his handsome face looks a bit troubled, eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly pursed. You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking, but for some reason you felt like he could tell what you were. When you raised an eyebrow at him, his face relaxed and he slowly shook his head as if to say it's nothing. 

Coach Yaga’s sharp whistle cuts through the silent conversation you two were having as he yells, “alright, boys. Practice over! Go stretch yourselves out.” 

You quickly stuff your digital camera back into its case and collect your things into your tote bag. In your peripheral vision, Gojo’s making his way over to you and when he’s right next to you, you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“How’d it go? Get some good shots?” he asks, sounding genuinely interested.

“Um, yeah, I think so.” You’re still not looking at him, pretending to fiddle with something in your tote bag. He leans down a bit to look at your face more clearly when he notices you’re not meeting his gaze, but you still struggle to make eye contact with him. “I’ve gotta go, can you tell the guys I said bye?” And then you’re making your way up the hill.

There’s a beat of silence as confusion washes over him from your behavior. “Hey, wait, y/n, do you know how to get back to campus?”

You spin to face him when you're at the top of the hill, finally looking him in the eye. There’s a concerned expression on his face. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Thanks a lot for today. Let me buy you a strawberry vanilla soda sometime, okay?” Flashing him a small smile, you turn around and run down the hill, ignoring the fast beating of your heart.

a/n. thanks a bunch for reading!

➸ take me to chapter four!

[allgonejeon]

All the messages I never sent you from my notes (pt1)

To Age. From when we first broke up (Feb 21, 2023), I wrote to you on my notes so I had an outlet. I sent a few to you, but here’s the whole list…

2/23 2:03am

I’ve been trying to forget you but Australian tiktoks keep showing up on my fyp and I never used to get them before. I keep pressing “not interested” but they keep popping. I blame u 😤

2/23 12:36pm

The more I think about it, the more I realize you never respected me or my feelings. Not to the fullest at least. You’d bring up your ex without regard of my feelings and tell me that it was different with her because you were able to touch her. You treated the situation like 🤷🏻‍♂️ and didn’t apologize through phone, only text.

2/23 2:11pm

Wonderwall played from one of my playlists. I was going to skip it, but i put it on repeat. I know you don’t miss me at all, but damn do I miss you. And I really hate it.

2/23 11:43pm

Some dude I met at A’s last week just slid in my DMs just now and I just liked his message lol. Like, no. Also, one of the guys that girl brought to the party DMd me too. He invited me to dinner with some friends and I said yes. He’s super sweet and hes pretty cool, but the the thing is that I don’t feel anything when I would usually feel excited. It’s like no matter what dude comes to me, I don’t have the heart to try with anyone. And there have been a few. I’m assuming that’s how you’re feeling right now, but not about me. I know it’s only been a day, but man do I miss you. While you’re missing someone else, I’m here missing you like crazy and I hate it. I genuinely don’t think you miss me though. Not one bit. But I do. I miss you texting me about your day, I miss you calling me cute or cactus or chihuahua or princess or you calling me by my full name. I miss you sending me random tiktoks and random pictures of what you’re doing. I miss you being there when I’m having panic attacks. I miss your voice, I miss you ranting about the most random things. I miss when you tell me about chubs or how unbearable work was. I miss being there for you. And I miss having someone to talk to at night before I go to sleep. It became a habit I loved.

I saw this one tiktok where it said “while he’s chasing someone else and you’re chasing after him, who’s chasing after you?”. I think the objective was to instill some feeling of being pathetic, and it kinda hit.

I feel pathetic for still wanting things to work out and hoping we both change and be good for each other in the future. But I’m terrified that you don’t want that, and I’m currently preparing myself for that. Because I’m sure that is surely the case.

2/24 2:50am

I can’t sleep and I miss you so much. But I really don’t think you miss me. And that kinda makes me sad.

2/24 10:34am

We’re driving past a street named “cactus”. It reminded me of you.

2/24 1:45pm

I’m seeing couples everywhere. They’re drinking mimosas next to each other or drinking coffee and laughing. And all I can think about how it must’ve been you with her. I’m sitting at a table next to a couple, his arm over her shoulder. I keep torturing myself and thinking if you’ve ever done that with her. And how you miss it.

2/25 2:47pm

It finally caught up to me. It’s so painful having to hold it all on when you’re in the back seat of the car and having to swallow hard so no one finds out you’re falling apart right behind them. My tears are running, I’m holding my breath, my nose is stuffy and I want to sob but I can’t right now.

2/25 5:18pm

I just realized I’ve had my phone on dnd since last we spoke.

2/25 5:38pm

You were never here but I’ve made so many memories of you here. All the places I’ve been to that I’ve talked to you in. It’s insane how that kinda works. Trader Joe’s. I was there picking flowers and stopped in front of the roses to text you for five minutes straight one time.

2/26 3:28am

You just posted a note that said “ever wonder if your crush actually likes you?” and that stung me so hard because I know it’s not me you’re talking about. Call me sensitive but I just literally cannot believe how you move on so fast. You said there was no one else.

2/28 5:13pm

A week has passed today. I only realized because I’m back at Barnes and noble to do the study with Eve. It’s not the same location though. I teared up at the thought of going back there– to the same Barnes. I knew I’d have to walk through the same side of the marketplace, the same doors, the same environment, the same empty music area in the back of the store I hid to talk to you. The same one where I anticipated this would end. And i don’t think I can do that. Ive been thinking a lot about the situation. At first I wanted to think that you didn’t want me to leave, but now I’m starting to believe that you probably didn’t care I did. I’m afraid you don’t miss me. I wonder if your personal trainer mentions me still or if you even told him you “broke up” with me so that he wouldn’t mention me at all. I wonder if you think of me when you see Chubbs. I wonder if you think of me when you hear “America”. I wonder if you miss calling me still or texting me or just having me around. I wonder if you regret ever giving up on me. I think that, although it pains me, it’s best to believe that you won’t come back and that you’re moving on as we speak. And to tell you the truth, I feel pathetic that I still miss you and that my heart still clings to you. And I absolutely tear myself to shreds that I let the most sheltered part of me grow attached to you in such little time and in such a way that I can’t seem to move on for the time being; my heart.

3/2 2:48pm

I’m dog sitting again at the same house we FaceTimed for the first time. I was dreading coming, honestly. I’m in the family room where I was calling you and laughing with you. I was in the kitchen where the sink is; the same place I set my phone down while I was doing dishes and you working on school. You complimented my purple rain shirt and we talked about how awful trump was lol. I went into the wing of the house where you spoke to Sarah for the first time and helped her with her test. Damn I miss you still. But I’m okay. Hope you’re okay too with what you’re dealing with right now.

I went to First Friday with my friends tonight. It sucks that I still wish you were here in person. I spoke to P about you yesterday (3/2) and she was sad. Today I told her that I’m trying to convince myself that you don’t care and she used the sternest voice, saying “you can’t really think that, right? There is no way that boy does not care about you. Why else would he have stayed so long and blah blah blah…” and idk. Although I’m trying to convince myself of the worse, it kinda makes me feel good she said that. Man I miss you so much.

Also, I posted some stuff on my close friends and public story. I know it’s stupid and weird but I kinda wonder what you thought of them. If you felt anything at all or if you just didn’t care at all.

3/4 6:32pm

I took my time to unfollow all the boys I don’t know. Those random boys who followed or whom I’ve followed. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while but I finally got around to doing it. There’s a number of reasons, I guess. None of them mean anything to me. I only kept the guys I know personally. I unfollowed everyone else. I still have yet to unfollow some girls but I know I’ll get around to it. I think the only boy I kept that I don’t have any other mutuals with (except for Sarah) is you. I think my hopes of being with you again are slim to none, but I think my heart still clings to you. And I can’t seem to unhinge it.

Also, I read back our messages for the first time and man. The feelings all came back. It felt as if you never left. And it hurts me a bit.

4/9 1:49am

I was at a party tonight, I didn’t know most of them, just a few. But as I was wondering my eyes around, I noticed a familiar guy staring at me. He even made his way to me while I was asking for a cocktail. I admit, he’s cute. He’s tall and he seems super sweet. He asked for my number before I left and I was kinda excited about it. I left early to go to dinner with friends then had a midnight trip to an ice cream place in downtown. The girls hyped me up and I pulled one of my friends to the side and told her I felt kinda guilty. But what she said was right. You’re stuck on another girl and you’re probably talking to other girls too. There was no point on waiting for you when you made it clear you were still stuck on someone else and won’t come back. But to be completely honest, I feel like I was forcing myself to be happy and excited. He texted me that same night as I was paying for my ice cream and we made plans to get together the next week. And I think the only reason I felt the way that I did was because I was making plans with someone that wasn’t you. Sure, I had a dude texting me, but it wasn’t the person I wanted it to be. But at this point I have to accept the way things are right now. I miss you still, but man do I still feel so pathetic for wanting you after I know you don’t want me. After everything you told me. After explicitly telling me how much you loved your coworker and how you missed kissing her and holding her. It stings. But maybe this is what I need to just forget it. I doubt you care though.

[junghelioseok]

clandestine. | 03

↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 9.2k [3/6]

notes: this will likely be my last update of this fic until the new year, because i have two (2!!!) other fics that i’m planning to post in december, including another jungoo one, so! please look forward to those, and enjoy this chapter in the meantime! 

warnings: jk’s massive noona kink: a recurring yet warranted warning, me absolutely fucking up everything about korea’s geography probably, semi-public? fingering???, jungkook....... shall we say, rocks the boat, there is one (1) dick pic but no one’s complaining

⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 

Monday - 11:27am

Kim Taehyung added you to the group: the great escape!!!!!! 🏝🚗💨

[11:27am] Taehyung: let’s gooooooooooo!!

[11:27am] Jisoo: ???

[11:28am] Lisa: go where?

[11:28am] Taehyung: parks lake house this weekend! we’re going on vacation!

[11:28am] You: hold up tae, we haven’t even asked our parents if we can have the house yet

[11:29am] Chimchim: oh yeah lmao

[11:29am] Chimchim: u wanna go ask noona??

[11:29am] You: nope

[11:30am] Chimchim: ugh, fine

[11:30am] Chimchim: u big baby

[11: 31am] You: 🙄

[11: 37am] Chimchim: they said yes!

[11:38am] Taehyung: LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[11:38am] Minho: sweet 👍

[11:38am] Taemin: tight

[11:39am] Jungkook: dope

[11:40AM] Jisoo: you’re all idiots 🙄

Tuesday - 2:34pm

[2:34pm] Chimchim: i’ve secured the van

[2:34pm] Chimchim: for the trip i mean

[2:35pm] Taehyung: noice

[2:35pm] You: 10 people aren’t gonna fit in mom’s van, chim

[2:37pm] Jungkook: i can drive too

[2:37pm] Chimchim: 👍👍

[2:37pm] Chimchim: see? nothing to worry about

[2:38pm] Jungkook: yeah noona, nothing to worry about. nothing at all.

Wednesday - 9:49pm

[9:49pm] Taehyung: oh my god we need FOOD

[9:49pm] Lisa: you’re just realizing that now?

[9:50pm] Taehyung: shut up

[9:50pm] Taehyung: i have a cooler

[9:51pm] Lisa: and ice?

[9:51pm] Taehyung: ………… i will buy some ice

[9:52pm] You: there’s a grocery store on the way up that we always used to go to, we can stock up there

[9:52pm] Taehyung: 👍

[9:54pm] You: you also better remember to bring your own towels. and more than one change of clothing

[9:54pm] Taehyung: 👍👍

[9:55pm] Chimchim: yes, mom

///

The day of the trip finds you standing in the foyer, rifling through your purse to make sure you have all the essentials. Off in the distance, you can hear Jimin sprinting around frantically, catching the briefest glimpse of his ruffled blond hair before he disappears again into the depths of the house.

“Chim, I swear to god. Why didn’t you pack earlier?”

“I did!” your brother whines, poking his head out from the living room where his suitcase is lying wide open, belongings scattered in every direction. “It’s just that—oh, fuck. Do you have my toothbrush?”

“Why would I have your toothbrush?” you deadpan.

He ignores you, and not two seconds later, he lets out an excited shout. “Never mind! I found it!”

You sigh and rub your temples. The trip hasn’t even begun, yet you’re already feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. “I’m going outside,” you call to your brother, who grunts in acknowledgement. Opening up the front door, you drag your suitcase out onto the sun-drenched porch, relishing the welcome breeze that caresses your cheeks and whispers through your hair.

The rare moment of peace is broken almost immediately by the rumble of a starting engine—the sound shuddery and wavering before it finally evens out into a steady, mechanical purr. It’s coming from nearby, and your gaze immediately travels to the neighboring driveway where a beat-up sedan sits, torn between exasperation and amusement when you see Jungkook waving at you from the driver’s seat.

“I’m coming to pick you up!” he calls through the open window, and you hold back your laughter as he reverses out of his driveway, rolls ten feet down the street, and pulls into yours.

“Was that really necessary?” you ask once he’s parked.

“Of course it was,” he replies, hopping out to grab your suitcase. You watch as he pops the trunk and loads it inside, and blanch when you realize what that means.

“Wait a second. Am I riding with you?”

Some emotion flashes across his face, but he wipes it away before you can identify it. “Would that be so terrible?”

It’s been one week since Taehyung’s party, and Jisoo’s warning still rings loud and clear in your brain. Still, you feign nonchalance and tamp down the uptick in your heart rate, offering him a shrug. “Just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

He grunts. An awkward silence settles over you as he adjusts your suitcase in the trunk beside his, and you distract yourself by fiddling with your purse strap until he slams the lid closed.

“So…” you start after a few seconds. “Are we picking anyone else up?”

“Yugyeom,” Jungkook replies, opening up the driver’s side door and climbing in. Hesitantly, you make your way over to the other side of the car, wondering if there’s any way you can avoid sitting in the passenger seat without looking like a total weirdo.

“Oh! Jungkook’s here already?” Jimin exits the house at last, lugging his suitcase and a smaller backpack. He shoves both into the backseat of your mother’s van before coming over, frowning when he sees you hovering near the trunk. “Why are you just standing there?”

You make a face at him. “We’re waiting for you, dumbass. Who’s riding with you?”

“Tae, Minho, and Taemin,” your brother replies. “Didn’t you see the group chat this morning?”

“I muted it days ago,” you admit. “You guys were annoying as hell.” Then another thought strikes you, your brain belatedly registering the names Jimin listed. “Wait, what about the girls? Aren’t they coming?”

Your brother rolls his eyes. “Jisoo’s working as a camp counselor this summer, and Lisa has other vacation plans. Maybe if you hadn’t muted the chat, you’d have known that.”

He has a point, though you aren’t about to admit that. You’re also wise enough not to inquire about the third member of the trio, remembering Jisoo’s revelation at the party. It’s no surprise that Chaeyoung isn’t joining you for the weekend—you’d want to avoid extended periods of time with your ex-boyfriend too. At the thought, your gaze reluctantly flits back over to the ex in question, who raises an expectant brow when he catches your eye.

“Ready?” he calls out the open window.

No, you want to say. But Jimin has already clambered into the van and slammed the door shut, and Jungkook’s car is blocking the van in the driveway so you suck in a deep breath and slide into the passenger seat beside your dark-haired neighbor.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Jungkook nods and throws the car into reverse. One hand splays across the wheel while the other comes up to rest on the back of your seat, and your breath hitches when he cranes around to check his blind spots, his face suddenly too close for comfort.

He’s playing with you, you tell yourself firmly, leaning back until your back’s pressed against the door and you can safely breathe again. Chaeyoung. Think about what he did to Chaeyoung.

“Hey, I made a roadtrip mix,” Jungkook pipes up all of a sudden. He grabs his phone from where it’s resting on the dashboard, tapping at the screen until the first strains of a melody filter through the car speakers. “It should last us the whole way.”

You perk up when you recognize the tune. “Oh! I love this song.”

Jungkook watches out of the corner of his eye as you bob your head to the beat, before smiling down at his lap. “Yeah. I know.”

///

Yugyeom lives on the other side of town, in a sprawling, winding neighborhood that sends your brain—and your phone’s GPS—into a complete and total tailspin. “Wait, wait—hang on. I think you missed a turn. You must have.”

Jungkook’s face crumples in confusion as he slows the car to a crawl, drawing a few irritated honks from the cars behind you. “There weren’t any streets back there, though.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, twisting in your seat to get a better look. “The directions said to take a right in… oh, fuck, hang on. We’re not even on a digitized road anymore, apparently.”

Jungkook heaves a sigh, but when you glance up at him, he’s wearing a grin. “Come on, Noona. You’re supposed to be my navigator. I’m depending on you.”

“I only know how to get us to the lake house, not Yugyeom’s,” you sniff defensively. “This is way beyond my pay grade.”

Jungkook chortles and reaches out, extending an open palm. “Can I see your phone for a sec?” You nod, handing it over, and he clicks his tongue as he turns it upside-down—rotating it a full three hundred and sixty degrees before returning it. “We might be lost,” he declares.

“Gee, you don’t say.”

He chuckles again. Picking up his own phone, he swipes a thumb across the screen before handing the unlocked device over. “Here, call Yugyeom. Put him on speaker, yeah?”

You hum in acknowledgement and scroll down in his contacts until you find the other boy’s name, clicking it open. A photo fills the screen as it rings—clearly a group photo from the way it’s cropped, zoomed in on Yugyeom and the ridiculous face he’s making.

“Is this from graduation?” you ask curiously.

Jungkook blinks and tears his gaze away from the windshield. “Huh?”

“Yugyeom’s contact photo,” you clarify, tilting the phone screen so he can see. “He’s got robes on.”

“Oh.” He looks away again, cheeks flushing. “Yeah. It’s lame, I know.”

You shake your head. “Don’t say that. I think it’s nice.”

Jungkook doesn’t get a chance to respond, but it’s impossible to miss the grin that crinkles his face and settles there. There’s a staticky hum as the line connects, and then Yugyeom’s voice is filling the vehicle, sounding as if he’s just rolled out of bed.

“Whaddaya want?”

“We can’t find your fucking house, man,” Jungkook says bluntly, turning onto a street that you’ve driven down at least three times by this point. “Where do you live?”

On the other end of the line, Yugyeom sighs. “Okay, okay. What street are you guys on?”

That gives Jungkook pause. “Uhh, Cedar Street? Oak Avenue? It has a tree name.”

“Neither of those streets exist, dude.”

“Birch Boulevard!” you exclaim. “We’re on Birch Boulevard. I saw the sign a while back.”

“Ah, okay. You’re close, then. Do you see a sign for Linden Lane?”

You glance around until you alight on a signpost. “Yeah.”

“Turn right onto it. Then take the first left, go past the cul-de-sac, and another left. Do not pass Go, and do not collect two-hundred dollars. I’m the fifth house on the right.”

He ends the call before you can ask him to repeat the directions, and you send Jungkook a helpless look. “Did you get all of that?”

“Besides the overused Monopoly joke?” Jungkook asks.. “Yeah, I got it. Right, left, left. Fifth house. Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes to get there.”

And true to his word, you arrive at the house three minutes later. Yugyeom is standing on the front step with rumpled hair and a duffel bag at his feet, and you snort when he throws open the car door and flops across the entirety of the backseat.

“Rough morning?”

“Stayed up late packing,” he says by way of explanation, his eyes already beginning to drift shut. Jungkook immediately turns the music up, and you giggle when Yugyeom shoots upright at the bassline that’s now shaking the entire vehicle. “I’m up, I’m up! Jeez, man.”

Jungkook just sends him an innocent grin in the rearview mirror. You turn the volume back down to a reasonable level as Yugyeom directs Jungkook onto the best route to take out of the neighborhood, and it isn’t long before you’re merging onto the highway that leads toward the coast.

You’re just beginning to get comfortable, staring out the window at the passing cityscape, when your leg vibrates with an incoming text notification. Glancing down, you see that Jungkook’s phone has slipped between your thigh and the seat, the screen lit with a new message.

[10:21am] Minho: gonna be at the store in 10

“Minho says they’ll be at the grocery store in ten minutes,” you relay to your companions. “We have a little longer to go. Probably another half hour or so.”

“We wouldn’t be so far behind if Yugyeom didn’t live in a fucking labyrinth,” Jungkook remarks, but a glance at the young man in the backseat reveals that he’s drifted off despite your earlier stunt. Rolling his eyes, he turns to you. “Can you text him back, Noona?”

You nod and hold out his phone so he can unlock it with his thumb. “Hey,” you say once you’ve hit send on the message. “Do you have a contact photo for me?”

Jungkook stiffens slightly, his gaze skittering between you and the road. “Oh. Uh, yeah, I guess I do. But it’s nothing, really. It’s kinda lame. But you… you can look at it if you want.”

Curiosity piqued, you scroll down until you find your name, tapping on the image beside it. The photo is from several years ago, during a family trip to the lake house with the Jeons. You are no older than fifteen, your arm slung around a fourteen-year-old Jungkook as the two of you stand knee-deep in the lake, wearing swimsuits and bright smiles. In the background, you can just barely make out a blurry Jimin mid-splash.

“I remember this,” you murmur, zooming in on your smiling faces. “That was a fun summer.”

“Junghyun was grumpy the whole time,” Jungkook recalls with a laugh. “But we had a good time, didn’t we? We practically lived in the lake that entire week.”

“Or that old canoe.” You grin, taking one last look at the photo before locking his phone and handing it back to him. “Remember? We’d always row out too far, and our parents would scream for us to come back before we fell in and drowned.”

Jungkook snickers. “As if I’d ever let you drown. I’m a great swimmer.”

“Are you saying I’m not?”

He backpedals immediately, realizing his mistake. “Hey, don’t twist my words. I said nothing of the sort.”

“That’s what I thought.” Giggling, you turn to look out the window, propping your chin in your palm as you watch the scenery flash past. “And I want that photo, by the way. Send it to me?”

“As soon as we get to the store,” Jungkook promises. “Speaking of which, we’re getting close. Keep an eye out for the exit for me?”

“Deal.”

///

Jimin and the others are waiting in the parking lot when you arrive, perched on and around the van as they watch Jungkook expertly maneuver the car into a neighboring parking space. “Took you long enough,” your brother says once the engine is cut, hopping off the hood and landing lightly on both feet.

“We’re here now, aren’t we?” you snark as you join the others hovering near the grocery store entrance. Jimin makes a face at you, and you stick your tongue out in response. After a quick huddle—wherein you form a very haphazard game plan—everyone disperses. Jimin grabs a shopping cart and heads inside with Taehyung and Minho, the latter of whom is trying to clamber his way into the cart to hitch a ride.

Sighing, you grab a shopping cart of your own and scan the interior of the store for the produce section. They’ve rearranged the aisles since you were last here, but you quickly find what you’re looking for and begin picking your way over when Jungkook materializes at your side.

“So, what are you thinking for food?” he asks, nudging you away so he can push the cart in your stead.

You allow him to take over, gesturing toward your destination. “I know my brother,” you tell him dryly. “He’s going to buy meat and completely forget about everything else. And I don’t trust any of you to buy a single fruit or vegetable.”

“I like fruit and vegetables,” Jungkook defends.

“You like everything,” you correct, flashing him a teasing grin before leading him into the produce section.

Grocery shopping with Jungkook turns out to be surprisingly pleasant—comfortable, even. He proves adept at finding the ripest fruits and greenest vegetables, and when you ask him to find some apples, he trots off immediately and returns with a handful of sweet potatoes in addition to your requested fruit.

You raise an eyebrow. “What are you planning to do with those?”

Jungkook feigns offense, slapping a hand to his heart. “That’s cold, Noona. Don’t you think I can cook?”

“I’ve never seen you cook in my life,” you respond. “How am I supposed to know if you can or not?”

“I can,” he promises. “And I’ll prove it too, if you let me.”

You get the feeling he’s not just talking about cooking anymore, but he doesn’t give you a chance to answer. Dropping the apples and potatoes into the cart, he flashes you a crooked little smile before turning toward a display of cabbages, leaving you to wonder at what exactly is going through his head.

///

It’s nearly one in the afternoon when you arrive at your family’s lake house. The last stretch of the drive takes you through the forest along a winding, narrow road, but Jungkook is a capable driver and you know the way well enough to warn him about any upcoming hairpin turns. Piling out of the car, the three of you make quick work of putting the food safely into the refrigerator. By the time you’re finished, Jimin and the others have arrived as well, lugging their belongings inside and setting them inside the entryway.

“So who’s sleeping where?” Taehyung asks, glancing around the house. It’s modestly sized, with a living area on one side and a combined dining room and kitchen on the other. Three bedrooms and a bathroom branch off of the hallway between them, ending in a back door that leads out to the lake. Through the window, you can see the water glimmering in the sunlight, hazy and golden.

“We’ll have to share,” Jimin says. “ If Noona takes one room, that leaves two bedrooms and the pullout couch for the rest of us.”

Jungkook tilts his head. “Rock, paper, scissors?” he suggests, drawing a chorus of groans.

“I always lose!” Jimin complains. “And Taemin cheats!”

“Do not!”

Laughing at the indignant expression on your brother’s face, you decide to leave them to it and head to your bedroom with your luggage in tow. The room is just as you remember it, with a bed tucked against one wall and a dresser on the opposite. There are three doors in total—one that you just entered through, and another that opens into a small closet. The third leads to a bathroom—shared with the bedroom on the other side of the wall that usually belongs to Jimin. Vaguely, you wonder who will be sleeping there tonight, before setting your suitcase on the bed and unzipping it.

“Fuck!”

You jump at the sudden shout, poking your head out into the hallway to see what’s causing all the commotion. Yugyeom is kneeling on the floor with his head down, a crestfallen Taemin standing beside him. Meanwhile, Taehyung and Minho look supremely pleased with themselves, and you see why when they grab their bags and practically skip to the master bedroom across the hall, collapsing onto the king-sized bed.

“Have fun on the couch, losers!” Jimin singsongs, grabbing Jungkook by the wrist and dragging him into their newly won bedroom on your side of the hallway. “Lake in fifteen minutes, so get changed! Last one there’s in charge of dinner!”

The door slams shut behind him, and you roll your eyes before turning back to your opened suitcase and pulling out a book. There’s a perfectly shaded spot beneath one of the trees along the water, and you fully intend to capitalize on the last few hours of daylight before the sun begins to set.

Minho is the only one outside when you exit the house, standing on the dock in a pair of green swim trunks. He waves at you cheerily before cannonballing into the lake, and you squeak as the resulting splash sends water splattering across the front of your shirt.

“Sorry!” he calls when he resurfaces, shaking his hair out like a wet dog.

You wave off his apology with a laugh, settling down onto the soft grass at the base of your chosen tree and opening up your book. The other boys trickle out of the house one by one, but you barely notice. It isn’t until a triumphant shout pierces the air that you finally glance up to see what’s causing all the commotion, your gaze immediately landing on Taehyung standing on the back steps of the house.

“Trust me,” he says, unbothered by his apparent tardiness. “You don’t want me to make dinner.”

Minho pulls a face and straightens up from where he’d been floating on his back. “You know, he kinda has a point there.”

Murmurs of agreement all around. Taehyung gives Jimin a smug smile, who scowls from where he’s sitting at the end of the dock, his bare feet dangling over the edge. “So what now? Do we have to play rock, paper, scissors again?”

“Nah, I’ll do it.”

Every head whips around to face Jungkook, yours included. He’s standing a short ways from where you’re sitting—his approach so quiet that you hadn’t even heard him arrive. The last time you checked, he’d been diving off the dock with Minho and Yugyeom, water pooling in his collarbones and dripping down the ridges of his taut abdomen each time he resurfaced.

Not that you’d been looking, of course.

“Really?” Jimin looks aghast at his best friend’s declaration. “You can cook?”

Jungkook scoffs in disbelief and plops down beside you, leaning back against the tree trunk. “Why does everyone in your family seem surprised by that?” he asks, his lip jutting out in a petulant frown. “Do I seem like someone who can’t cook?”

“Yes,” you tell him honestly, marking your page and letting the book fall shut. “Don’t take it personally, though. Men only learn how to cook in college when they have to start fending for themselves. And sometimes, not even then.”

The noise that leaves Jungkook’s mouth can best be described as disgruntled, but he doesn’t press any further. Instead, he peers over your shoulder to get a look at the cover of your book, mouthing the title to himself before glancing at you. “Haven’t I seen you reading this before?”

“Probably,” you admit. “It’s an old favorite.”

He hums, slouching back against the tree again, and when you look over, you see that both his eyes have fallen shut. With his mouth parted and his dark lashes resting on his cheeks, he looks years younger than he is—and so much more like the Jungkook you used to know.

“Tired?” you whisper.

“Long drive,” Jungkook whispers back, his head already beginning to loll. “Lemme sleep, Noona.”

Smiling to yourself, you return to your book and leave him to rest.

///

“So, what are you even planning to make?” Jimin asks, swinging his legs. He’s seated atop the kitchen counter, taking up the majority of what precious little space there is to begin with, and Jungkook sighs deeply as he’s forced to dodge around him yet again to peer into the refrigerator.

“You’ll see.”

“I don’t think you even know yet,” Taemin pipes up from the doorway. The other boys are in the living room playing Mario Kart, but Taemin and Jimin have selflessly pulled themselves away from the game to help their friend in the kitchen—or so they say. As far as you’re concerned, they’ve been nothing but a nuisance thus far, but you don’t voice that particular thought aloud.

“Ramen doesn’t count as making dinner,” Jimin points out snidely when Jungkook pauses too long next to the box of ramen packs. “Anyone can boil water. And you don’t get to add an egg and call it fancy, like you usually do.”

“My ramen is delicious, excuse you,” Jungkook retorts, pointing a spatula at him. “And that’s not even what I’m making, so fuck off.”

Jimin shrugs, but shuts his mouth nonetheless. You take the opportunity to throw some pork belly at him, the meat wrapped neatly in paper and tied off with twine. “Here,” you tell him. “You could at least make yourself useful and start grilling the meat.”

“Okay, mom,” your brother grumbles under his breath, hopping off the counter. He and Taemin head out to the back porch where the grill sits, and you join Jungkook at the stove where he’s staring thoughtfully at an empty pan.

“Try twisting the dial. I’ve heard that helps.”

Jungkook snaps out of his daze and turns to you. “Huh?”

“The stove. It won’t light itself, you know.”

Chuckling, Jungkook twists the dial as instructed, adding a drizzle of oil to the pan. As it heats up, he turns and selects a knife from the cutlery drawer. The sweet potatoes he’d insisted on purchasing are already washed and peeled, and you watch as he begins to slice them, your gaze automatically flitting down to his exposed forearms, his muscles flexing with every movement.

“Hey, Noona? Can you do me a favor?”

You blink, tearing your gaze from the branching veins lining his arms. “What?”

Jungkook, thankfully, doesn’t seem to notice your distracted state. “Can you put the rice in the microwave?” he asks, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Why?” you tease. “Are you still scared?”

“Of course not,” he retorts, but you don’t miss the wary look that flashes across his face when you plop the rice inside and go to punch in the cook time.

The remainder of the cooking goes smoothly. Jimin and Taemin return with the grilled meat, and Jungkook rebuffs your offer to set the table, leaving his position at the stove to lay plates and utensils down on the table himself. “I’m just about done, anyway,” he tells you, gesturing at the plate of glazed sweet potatoes on the counter. “Sit down and relax, Noona.”

“Fine,” you relent, taking a seat. Jimin takes the chair beside you, and Taemin plops down on his other side. Jungkook sits down just to your left once he’s finished laying out the food, and for a brief, insane moment, you almost think that he’s going to repeat what he’d done at his graduation dinner. But the dark-haired young man remains on his best behavior, keeping his hands to himself under the table, and you aren’t sure whether you’re grateful or disappointed.

The meal flies by in a flurry of laughter and conversation. Jungkook discovers that his glazed sweet potatoes have adhered to the plate, and sends everyone into hysterics when he promptly starts spinning it around like a steering wheel.

It’s a good night. And at the end of it, you go to bed warm and content, with a belly full of food and a smile on your face.

///

You awaken to the sound of chirping songbirds and gentle waves lapping at the shore the next morning, thoroughly rejuvenated after an undisturbed night’s sleep. Stretching your arms overhead, you yawn and bask in the comfort of your bed for a few more moments before getting up and heading to the bathroom, thankful that you don’t have to fight anyone for sink occupancy. The toilet seat is even down, which comes as a welcome surprise, all things considered.

Before long, you are back in your bedroom, rifling through the contents of your suitcase. Belatedly, you realize that you’ve packed only one swimsuit—and a bikini, at that. Cheeks warming, you pull the two pieces out, holding them up against your body. Has it always been this small? You don’t remember. All you know is that Jungkook has two fully functional eyes, and there’s no way that he won’t be looking at every inch of skin you choose to expose.

In the end, you settle on wearing the bikini beneath a flowy, floral kimono-style robe, tied at the waist to form a makeshift dress. The ensemble reaches just past your knees and is sheer enough to still show skin, but you no longer feel as self-conscious going out into the view of your companions and that’s a victory as far as you’re concerned. Checking your reflection one last time, you adjust your sash before opening the bedroom door and heading down the hall for some breakfast.

Unsurprisingly, the kitchen is empty when you walk in, tiptoeing past a still slumbering Taemin and Yugyeom on the pullout couch. You savor the quiet as you start up the old coffeemaker, pulling a mug from the cabinet and rinsing it out to get rid of any lingering dust. The weather app on your phone promises that it’ll be a clear, cloudless day, and a glance out the window confirms it. Silently, you debate whether or not to crack a window.

Your musings are interrupted by the arrival of Taehyung, his brown hair sticking up at all angles. Blearily, he trundles to the fridge and grabs the orange juice, seemingly two seconds away from chugging it straight from the carton before you clear your throat and push a clean glass toward him. You think you hear him mumble a thank you.

As the morning wears on, the others slowly begin to trickle in. Breakfast is a disorganized affair that leaves bread crumbs all over the counter, and nearly causes a fight when everyone seems to want their eggs cooked a different way.

“Look, if you wanted your egg soft-boiled, you should’ve made it yourself!” Jimin grouches to Taehyung, the t-shirt over his head muffling his words. Everyone else is already in the water, splashing about, but you’re seated on the end of the dock with your brother and Taehyung, who looks thoroughly unfazed behind his tinted sunglasses.

“Maybe if I knew how to soft boil an egg, I would have.”

“Google exists,” Jimin says, finally freeing himself from the shirt and tossing it aside.

Taehyung nods sagely. “Exactly. So why didn’t you use it?”

Jimin is beginning to look positively murderous, so when Minho swims over and taps your submerged ankle, you are beyond grateful for the distraction. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Are you gonna swim, or are you gonna sit onshore the whole time?” Minho asks, raking his wet bangs out of his eyes. “The water’s not even cold, so get in here.”

Pointedly, you wiggle your toes. “Feels pretty cold to me.”

“Okay, fine. It’s cold.” Minho grins. “But you get used to it.”

You sigh at his easy admission. “All men do is lie. How am I supposed to believe you?”

He raises a brow. “Do I need to pull you in and dunk you under?”

“I will kick you if you even try,” you tell him, standing up and shrugging off your robe. An audible hush falls as the gauzy material pools around your ankles—Jungkook stops wrestling with Yugyeom and trying to dunk him underwater, and Taemin pauses mid-splash, his hair drenched and dripping.

It’s Minho who breaks the silence first, letting loose a low whistle of appreciation. “Damn, {Name}.”

Jimin grabs a shoe from the pile on the dock and chucks it at him, hard. “Dude, that’s my fucking sister!”

“Ow! What the fuck, man, that’s my shoe!”

“Quit ogling my sister!”

“I’m not!” Minho yells, just as Jimin chucks the other shoe and hits him square in the mouth. “Okay, I’m not anymore. Sorry, okay?”

Once he’s sufficiently sure that Jimin is done attacking him, Minho turns to you. “I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. You know that, right?”

“I know,” you reassure him. “Honestly, it was kinda good for my self-esteem. And I don’t need you defending my honor, or whatever it is you think you’re doing,” you add, glancing over at your disgruntled brother.

“Men are pigs,” Jimin sniffs. “I won’t apologize.”

You ruffle his hair good-naturedly. “I know, Chim. You’re right.” Then your smile turns mischievous. “I won’t apologize for what I’m about to do, either.”

And then you grab him by the arm and drag him into the lake, the cold water submerging you in an instant and stealing the breath out of your lungs. You’re both gasping by the time you resurface, blinking water out of your eyes, and you squeal when Jimin takes the opportunity to splash you again.

Hours pass—the sun rising higher overhead. Around noon, Taehyung disappears inside the house and returns with an assortment of snacks and sandwich fixings, ushering everyone over for an impromptu lunch on the dock. You dip your feet into the water as you munch on a bag of chips, and Jungkook plops down beside you with a juice box in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other.

“Wanna go for a ride in the canoe after lunch?” he asks, jabbing a thumb back in the direction of the house. “I found it in the garage.”

You laugh. “Really? I thought for sure we got rid of that thing. Are you sure it hasn’t sprung a leak?”

Jungkook’s face crinkles into a grin. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?”

You grin back and raise your cup, the lemonade inside swishing around. “I’ll hang on to this, just in case I need to start bailing water out.”

Lunchtime winds down gradually. Jungkook polishes off his sandwich and trots off to fetch the canoe, waving off your offers to help before disappearing around the corner of the house. You watch him return a few minutes later from your seat on the end of the dock, resting your weight back on your hands and swirling your pruney toes in the water. He’s stripped off the loose white tee he’d donned during lunch, his golden skin cast in shadow by the canoe perched across his bare shoulders, and your gaze trails from his bulging biceps down to the ridges of his abdomen. The muscles flex with every step he takes, and you hastily take another sip of lemonade in an effort to combat the sudden dryness in your throat.

With a grunt, Jungkook comes to a stop at your elbow, heaving the boat into the water. The impact sends ripples across the lake and the butterflies in your belly into a frenzy, and you nearly fall off the dock when Jungkook touches your shoulder gently.

“Ready to go, Noona?”

You nod, not quite trusting yourself to speak. Jungkook holds the boat steady with one hand while offering you the other, and you gratefully grasp it as you step off the dock. The canoe rocks dangerously when Jungkook clambers in after you, but quickly steadies when he picks up an oar and jabs at the dock to push off into the lake. The glimmering expanse of blue water stretches before you, and you relax as you let your fingers dangle off the side of the boat, watching ripples form beneath your fingertips.

“I can help row,” you say after a few moments, casting a glance over at Jungkook. He’s settled into a rhythm now, the veins and tendons in his arm flexing with each movement, and you’re suddenly very aware of how close he’s sitting.

“You—” Jungkook says, fixing you with a playful stare, “—just enjoy the ride, yeah?”

Shaking your head, you smile and turn back around to admire the view. Sunlight reflects off the rippling water, lending a golden iridescence to the glittering blue depths. In the distance, the opposite shoreline rises up, crowned with rocky outcrops and majestic dark green pines.

With a start, you realize how far away you’ve gotten from the other boys. The shouts and laughter from the house are quickly fading into the background, and you nervously turn to look at Jungkook as he rows you even further.

“God, my dad would freak if he saw us right now,” you remark, trying to diffuse the sudden tension that’s settled. “I mean, we don’t even have life jackets. He’d lose his mind.”

Jungkook hums. He stops rowing, his hands stilling on the oars, and you’re just about to ask him what’s wrong when a warm hand glides up your thigh.

“You think you could maybe stop talking about your dad, princess?” Then he smirks. “Unless you’re into the whole daddy kink thing, because I’d be down to explore that at some point if you want—“

“Jungkook!” you hiss, scandalized.

“Yes?” the young man in question hums, his face the picture of innocence. It’s hard to muster up your vocabulary when he’s looking up at you with those wide doe eyes, but you somehow manage to prevail over your malfunctioning brain.

“We’re in public!” you whisper, glancing back at the shore where your brother and his friends have started an impromptu game of water polo.

Jungkook smirks crookedly at you. “Guess you better not scream too loud, then.”

And then, before you can open your mouth to protest—before you can even try to call his bluff—he’s slipped his hand into your bikini bottoms and found his way to your clit. Your entire body spasms when he presses into it experimentally, and the resulting snicker that escapes him is nothing short of infuriating.

“Careful,” he coos, laying his free hand on your thigh, his thumb rubbing nonsensical circles into the soft skin. “Don’t wanna rock the boat, now.”

Then he returns his attention to your clit, pinching the nub just to watch you jolt in his grasp and soothing you with a gentle kiss to the knee afterward. Your skin warms beneath the plush of his lips, and the pleased smile that curves them is all the warning you get before he sheathes a single finger in your clenching core. “Jungkook—” you gasp, shoving uselessly at his bare shoulders, but you can’t keep the edge of desire out of your voice. You can’t hide the growing wetness between your legs either—wetness that he most certainly feels as he slips another finger inside, pumping into you with ease.

“God, look at you,” he murmurs, his eyes trained on the way you clench around him. “So pretty like this. So pretty, getting fucked by my fingers. I could do this all day.”

“We—we don’t have all day,” you whisper. The last syllable dissolves into a moan as Jungkook eases a third finger into your cunt, and you scrabble to ground yourself when he picks up his leisurely pace. One hand settles on the edge of the boat, your fingernails digging into the wood, while the other finds Jungkook’s bicep. His arm flexes beneath your grip with each snap of his wrist, and you keen when he crooks his fingers just right and sends stars skittering across your vision.

He knows that you’re getting close. You can tell from the growing furrow between his brows and the hard set of his jaw, and you can tell that he won’t stop until he gets you off. Concentration etches across his face, and you gasp when his thumb finds your clit again.

“Oh, fuck, Jungkook—”

“That’s it,” he rasps, digging deeper and thumbing roughly across your bundle of nerves. “Cum for me.”

And you do. With one final flick of his wrist, Jungkook sends you hurtling over the edge that he’s so effortlessly built, a cresting wave of pleasure overtaking your body and spreading through your veins. Your leg kicks out instinctively, rocking the canoe dangerously in the water, but Jungkook catches you by the ankle with his free hand and presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh. He shifts his weight until you’re steadied once more, and only then does he ease his fingers out of you, raising them to his mouth to lick them clean.

“Think we can sneak away so I can fuck you properly?” he asks.

Your cheeks heat up at the lewd display, warming even more when his words register in your muddled brain. “Oh my god, Jungkook.”

“That’s exactly what you’ll be saying when I really get my hands on you,” Jungkook agrees. Flashing you a mischievous grin, he drops his hand over the edge of the boat, letting the turquoise water wash away any lingering fluids. “What do you think? The backseat of my car isn’t half bad…”

“I will literally push you into this lake,” you tell him, trying and failing to hide a disbelieving laugh. “Why are you such a perv?”

“You like it,” Jungkook defends immediately. “‘Sides,” he adds, casting a wary glance at the shore where Jimin and the others are still fully engrossed in their game, “I wanna kiss you while I fuck you. It’s not as good like this.”

At that, something dangerously close to affection blooms in your belly, winding its curious tendrils around your heart. Swallowing the feeling down, you pick up one of the oars instead, handing it over to him before hefting the other. “Come on,” you murmur. “They’re gonna get suspicious if we’re gone too long.”

Jungkook hums. “Yeah. Probably.”

And then he raises the oar you just handed him, lifting it until the paddle covers both of your faces, and boldly plants a firm kiss on your mouth.

“I’ll row us back,” he declares casually when he pulls away, as if he hasn’t just stolen all the oxygen from your lungs. As if your lips aren’t burning where he’s kissed you, your cheeks hot beneath his gentle exhalations. As if you aren’t positively thrumming with the desire to pull him back in, and maybe take him up on his offer to fuck you in the backseat of his beat-up sedan.

“Yeah,” you say instead, your voice hoarse. “Let’s go.”

///

What few remaining hours of daylight you have, you decide to spend inside. Jungkook gets roped into the water polo match as soon as the two of you return to shore, and you take the opportunity to slip into the house and clean yourself up. Safely locked away in the bathroom, you strip off your damp bikini bottoms and toss them in the sink. The top follows, and you give both a quick wash, doing your best to ignore the remaining slick from your orgasm that stubbornly coats the material.

Once everything is washed and hanging up to dry, you step into the shower. Warm water soaks your hair and slides down your back, and you tilt your head back to let the spray wash your worries away, relishing in the rare moment of peace and quiet.

By the time you’ve toweled off and gotten dressed, you can hear the boys beginning to traipse back into the house. From what you can make out, they’re making dinner plans, and you poke your head out curiously when Jimin mentions you by name.

“What are you saying about me?” you ask, narrowing your eyes accusingly at your brother.

Jimin whirls around, his cherubic face a perfect picture of innocence. “Nothing! I was just talking about your fried rice and how good it is…”

“You’re trying to get me to make you dinner,” you sigh. “I knew it.”

“No, we’ll help!” your brother promises. “I swear, as soon as I get out of the shower, I’ll chop all the vegetables.”

“Sure you will,” you snort, brushing past him and heading for the kitchen.

Much to your surprise, the kitchen is already occupied when you arrive. Jungkook and Yugyeom are at the counter—the former poised with a knife at the ready, about to slice into an onion. The latter is digging through the cabinets, and both turn at the sound of your footsteps.

“Hey,” Yugyeom says. “You probably know where the bottle opener is, right?”

You nod. “Left of the sink, second drawer down.” Then you turn your attention to Jungkook, peering curiously over his shoulder. “What’s the onion for?”

“Dinner,” he replies, flashing you a crooked little smile. “We’re making fried rice, aren’t we?”

Your heart skips a beat in your chest and races to catch up, thumping erratically against your ribcage. It’s hard to ignore the warmth blossoming in your belly—near impossible to ignore the butterflies that have made a home there—but you somehow manage to school your expression into something passably neutral and busy yourself with the other vegetables on the counter. “I see Jimin got to you, too. Is the other cutting board clean?”

Jungkook nods, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the dish rack. “Washed it last night, yeah. It’s all yours, Noona.”

You hum and skirt around Yugyeom to grab the clean board and another knife. Chopping vegetables goes a lot faster with two people, and Yugyeom does his part by cracking open two bottles of beer and plunking one down next to each of you before opening a third for himself. “Hydrate,” he orders, and you roll your eyes before picking it up and taking a sip.

It doesn’t take long to finish making dinner. As promised, Jimin joins you as soon as he’s out of the shower, plucking the knife out of your hand and nudging you aside so he can finish cutting the vegetables. You fire up the stove and drizzle some oil into a pan, and smile when Taehyung brings you the container of leftover rice and a large serving bowl.

“You know what we should do?” Minho asks as you’re all sitting down to eat. Yugyeom’s opened more beers, and Jimin’s brought out the wine as well. Jungkook is spooning out fried rice for everyone, and you accept the bowl he hands you with a murmur of thanks before looking at Minho expectantly.

“What should we do?”

“Go to the beach,” he replies, tilting the remainder of his beer back into his mouth. “It’s only an hour away, isn’t it?”

“Closer to half an hour without traffic,” Jimin corrects. “But, yeah, we should go. That would be fun.”

By the time dinner is finished, you’ve finalized plans to drive down to the beach in the morning. “Remember, we’re leaving at ten,” you tell Jimin, elbowing him in the ribs. “That means you have to wake up before ten.”

“I know!” your brother whines, rubbing the spot where you elbowed him with a grimace. “Jeez, Noona. I’m good at waking up. It’s Jungkook and Tae you have to worry about.”

“Says the punk who takes hour-long showers,” you snark. “What are you gonna do when you have to pay your own water bills, huh?”

“Shower at your place,” he replies smugly. “You can’t turn me away. I’m your brother.”

“Please, that’s exactly why I can turn you away, you little mooch.”

“You love me!”

“Really? You wanna test that theory?”

The remainder of the evening passes in a blur of booze and board games, unearthed from the closet in the hall. Despite your collective agreement to go to bed early, it’s past midnight when you finally bid everyone goodnight and crawl underneath your covers. Shutting your eyes, you will your brain to settle and your limbs to relax, and you’re on the verge of drifting off when your phone suddenly buzzes. Lazily, you roll over and snatch the device off the nightstand, taking in the late hour before your eyes flit down to the new notification and go wide.

[1:02am] Jungkook: IMG_497

You freeze, thumb hovering just above the message. Even when your screen goes dark again, you can’t erase the sight of his name lighting up your phone, the attachment sitting there like a taunt. You shouldn’t open it. You can’t open it.

But curiosity gnaws at your belly, fraying the edges of your resolve. Slowly, you wake the screen, watching as Jungkook’s name fills it once more. You hesitate, bottom lip finding its way between your teeth.

And then your phone buzzes again, several times in quick succession.

[1:04am] Jungkook: i miss you, noona

[1:04am] Jungkook: miss your pretty face

[1:04am] Jungkook: miss how tight your pussy felt around my fingers

You drop the device as if scorched. It takes several moments to gather your wits again, but when you do, pick up your phone, clicking on his name and scrolling up to the attachment. In the darkness of your bedroom, you watch with bated breath as it downloads.

“Fuck.”

The expletive slips past your lips, unbidden, but you can’t help it. Jungkook stares out at you from the photograph illuminating your screen, his eyes hooded and his lips curled into a devious smirk. He’s in the shared bathroom between your bedrooms, and even though it’s dark inside, the flash of his camera is just enough to illuminate the distinctive palm tree patterned shower curtain behind him.

But, you aren’t focused on that.

No, your focus is zeroed in on the foreground of the photo, where you can perfectly make out the head of Jungkook’s cock, sticky and leaking copiously from between his fingers.

“Fuck,” you repeat, louder this time.

And as if reading your mind, another text flashes onto your screen.

[1:07am] Jungkook: wish your pretty little pussy was stretched around my cock right now, princess

You aren’t sure what possesses you to send the response you do, but your thumbs are moving before the more rational side of your brain can catch up and stop you.

[1:07am] You: why don’t you come over and make it happen then?

You’ve only just hit send when the bathroom door swings open, revealing Jungkook standing there in nothing but sweatpants. His face is illuminated in the stark white light shining from his screen, his eyes dark and his smirk even darker. Every movement drips with intent, from the way his lips quirk upward to the way he saunters over to join you on your bed, dropping his phone somewhere amongst the rumpled sheets. The room goes dark.

And then…

“Hey, princess.”

His lips are at your ear, hot breath caressing your cheeks and sending shivers down the length of your spine. The mattress dips beneath his weight as he joins you, a hand finding your bare thigh before sliding up to grasp your hip. Only an oversized t-shirt and a thin pair of cotton panties shield you from his roving fingers, and you can tell from the pleased curve of his mouth that he isn’t going to let either stand in his way. One hand slips beneath the hem of your shirt, dancing along your ribcage, and you let out a breathy gasp when he trails up and skims along the soft skin just below the swell of your breasts.

“Been thinking about you all night, you know,” Jungkook whispers, pushing up your shirt and peppering kisses along every inch of newly revealed flesh. “Been thinking about how pretty you looked, cumming around my fingers, and how much prettier you’d look cumming around my cock.”

Your shirt is long forgotten by this point, tugged overhead and thrown carelessly over his shoulder. Jungkook hauls you closer, slotting himself between your spread legs, and you shiver when he presses the pad of his thumb against your clothed clit, the material uncomfortably damp as it clings to your folds.

“Jungkook—” His name escapes you in an airy whisper. “Please.”

Even in the darkness, you can see the satisfied, self-assured tilt of his lips. “Such a good girl for me,” he croons, leaning down to press a kiss to your waiting mouth. His free hand comes up to cup your cheek while the other remains between your legs, and you gasp sharply when he digs his thumb a little harder against your clit, circling the sensitive bud.

Jungkook seizes upon the opportunity to slip his tongue past your lips, licking into your mouth with unrestrained ardor. Your panties are peeled away, the cottony material disappearing right alongside the pressure of his thumb, and the inadvertent whine that escapes you has him chuckling darkly in his throat.

“What is it, princess?” Jungkook rasps, his voice dipping several pitches. “You have to tell me what you want, remember?”

You clutch at his wrist weakly, tugging it back between your legs until he finally indulges you and resumes his lazy revolutions around your clit. “Want you,” you whisper. “Want you inside me.”

Jungkook lets out a pleased hum, rewarding you with a single finger that he slips into your sopping entrance, your juices aiding the smooth glide as he curls it up in search of the spot that’ll have you seeing stars. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” you agree shakily. “But it looks like you are, so why don’t you let me help you out?”

Jungkook chuckles softly, his lips ghosting across the swell of your cheek. “Oh, yeah? And how exactly do you plan on helping me?”

Slowly, you reach down, letting your fingers graze the sizable bulge in his sweatpants. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? Me, stretched around your cock?”

A low groan escapes him when you give him a firm stroke, your fingers barely meeting around his length. “On your back,” he commands hoarsely, nudging you backward until you’re nestled into your pillows. Freeing his erection from the confines of his sweatpants, he settles comfortably between your spread legs, the mattress groaning in protest at the shift in weight.

“Wait,” you whisper, grabbing his wrist. “Did you hear that?”

His face scrunches in confusion. “Hear what?” he asks, as if he’s never heard that particular string of words before. “Are you sure it wasn’t just—”

He stops mid-sentence, and you both hear it again—the unmistakable creaking of bedsprings from next door. “Shit!” you hiss, scrambling back on the mattress until you’re nearly pressed against the headboard. “Oh, god. That’s Jimin. He’s going to kill you if he finds you in here—”

On the other side of the wall, the door to the shared bathroom opens, the light flickering on and illuminating the crack beneath your door. You hear your brother cursing sleepily under his breath as the toilet lid clatters open, and nearly shove Jungkook off the bed in your haste to get him out of your room.

“You have to go,” you whisper frantically, herding him toward the door that leads out into the hall.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls his pants back over his hips, and you can practically see him willing his erection to go away. “What am I supposed to say if he asks?”

“I don’t know! Pretend you were going for a glass of water or something!”

With a final push, you shove him out of your bedroom, leaning against the door with a relieved sigh when it clicks shut behind him. You hear Jungkook shuffle off just as Jimin flushes, and cast a prayer up to any deities that may exist as you listen to him wash his hands. And it seems your prayers are answered, as quiet descends over the house once more. Off in the distance, you think you hear Minho snoring.

Letting out another sigh, you return to bed, crawling beneath the covers and getting comfortable. And when sleep finally takes you, you dream of Jeon Jungkook.

[hotpinkhoshi]

devour (m)

pairing: human!baekhyun x vampire!reader (f) genre: smut, paranormal warnings: mentions of blood, pain, monsters etc, explicit sex involving some slight dom/sub themes but not really. a lot of position switching, oral (m receiving), cursing  word count: 6.6k summary: you’re thirsty. so damn thirsty. and baekhyun is the only one that can give you what you want. it’s the last time, really the last time, you tell yourself.  a/n: hello my lovely amazing readers! thank you so much for being so patient with me these last several months, i know i haven’t been very consistent with my posting BUT i promise i’m trying. i started this piece about 3 weeks ago and my only goal was to finish it by the end of the month. thankfully i just barely finished in time! i hope you enjoy but first, a disclaimer: i haven’t read or watched anything about vampires in many years so i know there may be things that don’t technically make sense. vampire enthusiasts pls do not come for me, i did my best.  thanks to: all my followers, @jjinyounf for discussing vampire reproductive systems, & @flowerbeom​ and @jjpmoans​ for hyping me up and giving me love and encouragement whenever i need it, which is a lot!

Last time, you told yourself it was the last time. 

The last time you let Baekhyun into your apartment at half past three in the morning, so out of your mind starving that you could hardly even see straight. The last time you let him take you, command your body like it was no longer your own.

You should have known you were lying to yourself. 

You [3:28am]: are you up?

Baek [3:29am]: yea, why?

You [3:31am]: can you come over? 

After your last message, you got no response. Perhaps, you thought, he’d fallen asleep or worse, had no interest in being your blood bag for the night. You would be disappointed, but you wouldn’t blame him. 

You rolled over in bed, flopping onto your stomach as you buried your face into your pillow. Maybe you could simply push through and wait until morning, when Kyungsoo would be awake and able to help you. 

After you turned a few months ago, totally unexpectedly, it had flipped your world upside down. Kyungsoo found you, shivering and delirious by a dumpster where your fun little one night stand had left you. 

Kyungsoo was human, but he was the type of person that people trusted and allowed into their worlds, no matter who they were. As one of the general surgeons of the local hospital, he’d gotten himself into a position of substantial power over both the humans and the vampires of your city. He never used it as a weapon—only as leverage to keep the humans safe.

When he found you, he’d wrapped you in his jacket and carried you to his apartment, but you didn’t remember anything until many days later. Kyungsoo nursed you to health, providing you with a vampire crash course to prepare you for the rest of your life. Of eternity. 

Then he’d introduced you to some of his friends at a party after you were more comfortable, although you had yet to feed on a living human. There was a whole community of humans that got off on it, that lived for the pain and pleasure of letting a vampire feed on them. 

It was at this party that you met Baekhyun. He had a mischievous glint in his eye when Kyungsoo told him your name and left the two of you alone in the dimly lit, smoky club basement. Something about that look in Baekhyun’s eyes told you he knew you’d be his by the end of the night. 

The feeling, the taste, the pure ecstasy of finally consuming fresh blood was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, even when you were alive. Your senses were heightened as a vampire as it was, but as soon as his blood hit your tongue, it was like your world exploded into a million colors. 

But even though you’d been the monster drinking his blood, Baekhyun remained in control. He laid you out on his bed and pinned your wrists to the mattress with one hand, his other wrist pressed into your mouth as he forced you to feed. 

You whimpered and cried out when it was too much, when the overstimulation of his blood and the way he was rocking into you at a brutally rhythmic pace had you seeing stars. He never relented; only fucked you harder as you writhed under him. 

After that night, you never wanted anyone else. Baekhyun was the only man you wanted to feed from. With him, you didn’t feel like a monster. You didn’t feel like a thing, like a horror story to tell in the dark. 

He made you feel human again. 

Tonight, the thirst was too much to handle. It was clouding your mind and keeping you awake as you twisted and turned under the covers. You couldn’t tell if you were craving his blood or craving him, but you were too weak to care. 

You hated the thirst. It was like dehydration, tenfold. Your head hurt, your lips were dry no matter how many times you wet them, and all you could think about was warm blood sliding down your throat. It was maddening. 

The telltale sound of your apartment’s buzzer had you sitting up in bed, so quickly that it made your head spin, the noise signaling that you had a visitor down at the main entrance to your building. 

You scurried off the bed and hurried to the door, nearly running into it as you slid on the hardwood in your socks to let him in. You told yourself the eagerness to see him was only because you were thirsty, certainly nothing more.

As soon as you opened the door, you felt embarrassingly underdressed. 

Baekhyun had dyed his hair since you’d last seen him. It was now a silver blonde, perfectly messy and framing his stupidly beautiful features. He’d been out tonight, you realized. The glitter on his cheekbones gave it away. 

His hands were stuffed comfortably in the pockets of his leather jacket with a faded graphic tee underneath, and expertly tailored black jeans practically painted onto his lower half. 

You tugged the hem of your T-shirt down, even though he’d already had you in positions that you hadn’t even thought were physically possible—vampire or not. For some reason, you still felt bare in front of him in your pajama shorts and oversized tee.

“Hmm,” Baekhyun hummed as he stepped inside, letting the heavy door close behind him. He smelled like smoke and rum. “Look at you. Is someone thirsty?”

You blinked, grateful that you were incapable of blushing. As ravenous and desperate for blood as you were, the way he looked you up and down made you feel small and shy. 

“Can I?” you asked, reaching for his wrist, half tucked into the pocket of his jacket. 

“Uh-uh.” He stepped back just before your fingers brushed his skin. “You know that’s not how it works, baby. You still need to work for it.” 

If you wanted to, you could muster your strength and slam him into the door, dive for his neck and bleed him dry before he even realized what was happening. But you didn’t. You wanted this, you wanted to beg and plead until finally, he rewarded you. 

“Baekhyun,” you whispered, then dragged your tongue over the dry, cracking skin of your lips. “I’m so thirsty. I’ll do whatever you want.” 

He seemed pleased by this, judging by the way his lips turned into a familiar smirk. “I know you will. Come on, let’s go sit down.” 

You followed him to the living room obediently, watching as he made himself comfortable on the couch. He shrugged his jacket off, revealing the expanse of his forearms down to his wrists, covered in bite marks in various stages of healing. 

All from you. 

If he had chosen to get his fix somewhere else, you wouldn’t have any reason to be envious or hurt. But it filled you with a sense of pride that he didn’t, that you were the only one he allowed to taste him. 

You moved to sit next to him, but Baekhyun stopped you. He took your hand, leading you to stand in between his parted legs. 

“Knees.” 

It took one word for you to drop to the carpet, your bare knees pressing into the old scratchy shag rug you’d had for ages. He kept your fingers in his palm, rubbing his thumb idly over the back of your hand. 

“Good girl.” With his other hand, he tucked your hair behind your ear, his wrist brushing against your cheek so that you could hear the pulse beneath his skin. 

“Baek…” you began, turning slightly until your nose brushed his skin. “Just a taste. Please.”

Baekhyun lifted your chin with his finger and locked eyes with you. You filled with warmth already, just one look enough to send your mind racing with images of everything you wanted from him. His blood was further down the list than you would have thought.

“Just a taste,” he repeated. 

With that, he let go of your hand and turned slightly to reach into the pocket of his discarded jacket. When he pulled out the shiny folded metal, you gulped hungrily. 

The pocketknife brandished with a metallic click. 

It wasn’t uncommon for humans to carry weapons these days. After all, vampires weren’t the only monsters that roamed the streets after dusk, and not all vampires were quite as friendly with humans as you were. 

Your eyes followed Baekhyun’s nimble fingers as he brought the very end of his knife to his middle finger, twisting the point into his fingertip until a spot of blood appeared. 

It took every bit of self control that you possessed not to reach out in desperation for his hand and bring it to your mouth. But you knew better—you knew if you broke, Baekhyun would stand up and walk out the door like you were less than nothing to him. 

He watched you with interest as he held his finger just out of your reach, eyes dancing with that mischievous stare he had when he teased you. You would despise it if you didn’t know that eventually, he always caved. 

Finally, when your mouth had gone dry and you could feel the warm tingle that meant your fangs were about to protrude, Baekhyun brought his index and middle fingers to your mouth. 

He slipped them past the parched skin of your lips, your entire world blooming as soon as his middle finger touched the center of your tongue. You moaned, eyes falling shut. 

“Look how needy you are,” he remarked after a beat. His voice was strained, though, as if watching your display of bliss was causing him physical pain. 

He let you go for a while, maybe half a minute, before he was removing his fingers from your mouth. You couldn’t help but whine, resisting every urge not to grab at his wrist to keep him there. 

With the small amount of his blood you’d been able to milk from his finger, you already felt renewed. A surge of energy coursed through you like you’d just been injected with adrenaline. 

“What do you say?” Baekhyun asked with a cocked brow. 

You swallowed, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. “Thank you.” 

Without a second thought, you reached for Baekhyun’s belt, fingers quickly undoing the metal buckle. Your ears picked up the quickening of his heartbeat from the moment you undid the button of his pants. 

It was no surprise that most vampire-human relationships, if not ending in death, ended in sex. Feeding, in your experience, was extremely sensual and instantly created feelings of arousal within both parties. It was almost better than sex, and when the two came together? It was euphoric. 

You were pleased to find him half-hard already by the time you got his zipper down, your hand wrapping around the length of him under the fabric of his briefs. Baekhyun inhaled sharply, holding his breath until you had pulled his cock from his underwear. 

Only a few seconds passed before you leaned forward, parting your lips to run your tongue along the underside of his member. Your eyes remained open, locked on Baekhyun’s face to gauge his reaction. 

He loved it, of course. 

With a groan, he tipped his head back, exposing his throat and sending a shockwave to your core. You wanted his throat, his neck, all of that fresh, warm blood pumping beneath his skin. But you wanted to taste it while he was inside of you. It would be worth the wait. 

Your eyes fell shut as you took his length into your mouth, deeper and deeper with each stroke until he hit the back of your throat. Unlike men you’d been with when you were human, Baekhyun made no effort to remain quiet. He was loud, and you loved it. 

If you had your way, all of your days would be filled with Baekhyun’s voice. His moans, his rough whispers in your ear, his laugh, his hums as he completed mundane tasks like wiping down the counters or tying his shoes. Deep down, you wanted it all.

“Good girl, that’s my girl,” he whispered, reaching forward to lace his fingers in your hair. He curled his hand into a tight fist, a deliciously sharp pain spreading across your scalp. 

You whimpered, lips wrapped tight and wet around him. He guided you back and forth for a while with his hand in your hair, muttering soft praises all the while. By the way his hips were twitching towards your face, you knew he was getting lost in the ministrations of your mouth. 

Baekhyun soon dropped his hand from your hair, signaling you to pull away, just in time for him to stand up and pull you to your feet. 

A squeak of surprise fell from your lips as he lifted you, hooking your legs around his waist in a simple, swift movement.

“Bed,” he said simply. 

Baekhyun carried you through your apartment as if it was his own, lips kissing and nipping at your neck as he dodged every obstacle between the two of you and the bedroom. He stopped once, in the hallway, to lean you into wall and roll his hips into your center. 

His name came out as a sigh. 

Then, finally, he dropped you onto the center of your bed. It was messy from your previous tossing around in the sheets from your thirst, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun reached for the comforter, knotted and piled together under your lower back, and easily tossed it off the bed to leave nothing but the sheets under you. 

He stood at the foot of the bed, chest heaving up and down, and ran his fingers through his hair. The look in his eyes had you squirming, ready for him to devour you in every way possible. 

“Are you still thirsty, baby?” 

Your heart clenched at the pet name, even though he always called you that, loving the way it sounded on his lips. You gulped, nodding as you batted your eyelashes. 

“Yes,” you admitted. 

“Take off your clothes,” he told you, hands reaching for his jeans, still unbuttoned, to push them down his legs. 

It took less than a second for you to obey, clutching the waistband of your shorts and shoving them off of you. You knew he liked when you kept your underwear on, just so he could use it to further torture you by keeping a layer between you. 

You slipped your thin T-shirt off, throwing it to the side and laying back into the mattress again. Baekhyun had removed his own shirt, leaving just his briefs from letting you see all of him. 

You could marvel at his body for hours—he was slender, but solid. He wasn’t much taller than you, but his shoulders were broad enough to make you feel protected in those rare moments when he held you in his arms. 

This time, though, you noticed something new. There was a handful of bruises and scratches marring his body, completely different from the puncture marks that your fangs left when you fed on him. Blinking, you furrowed your eyebrows, fingers reaching out. 

“What are-”

“No questions,” Baekhyun cut you off, reaching for your hands before they could reach their destination. His face softened, ever so slightly, when you quickly retreated, curling your hands up near your own chest. “We’re not here to talk, are we, baby?”

Just like that, he made you forget the suspicious marks on his chest, even one slash that looked particularly painful. Almost like he’d been cut by a knife.  

Watching the way he licked his lips as his eyes traveled down your body, slowly, so slowly, you were easily steered back to the task at hand. You dropped your hands to the sheets, digging your nails into the fabric as he overwhelmed each of your senses. 

Even from here, you could smell his blood. From here, you could hear the steady, strong beat of his heart, taste the alcohol and nicotine of his kiss. Your body was calling out to him and you weren’t sure how much longer you could deny what it needed. 

“Baekhyun,” you found yourself whining, hips squirming under his hungry gaze. 

His eyes snapped up to your face then, so much desire and pure lust in his stare that you felt a brand new surge of heat travel through your limbs. 

“Mm, first…” he pressed one knee down into the mattress, then the other, until he was hovering over you. “We have to see if you’re ready for me, don’t we?” 

Baekhyun led a painfully light touch down the middle of your chest with his index and middle fingers, between your bare breasts, and down the valley of your stomach at a pace that had you biting your tongue just to keep from begging him for the nth time. It would only further encourage him to play with you, of which you could only tolerate so much. 

You knew his moves by now, knew that he would trail those fingers down to your waist, over the elastic of your panties until he found the evidence of your arousal between your legs. You knew his moves, and he still had you whimpering the moment his fingers brushed your clit through your panties. 

Your toes curled into the sheets as you tried desperately not to show how crazy he was making you. He knew already, though, the moment he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties and found wetness between your legs. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun said with a smirk, tongue running cheekily along his lower lip. “You’re dripping, Y/N. You’re this wet just from sucking me off?”

Again, you were grateful for your inability to blush. 

“Answer me,” he demanded suddenly, eyes turning dark just the way you liked them. 

“Yes!” you replied, hips canting up towards Baekhyun’s hand. “Yes, I’m this wet just from sucking you off.” 

Even after you closed your eyes, you were sure you could see the cocky smirk that was undoubtedly painted upon his lips. He lived for this, the feeling of absolutely owning you. You, an immortal, bloodthirsty, powerful woman despite how weak he made you. 

As his fingers delved lower, just until he could dip them into your entrance, you mewled and turned your cheek towards the pillow. “Please,” you breathed. 

Baekhyun’s lips brushed your neck. “Please, what?” 

“Want you… want-“ you sighed as his fingers pushed deeper, to his second knuckle. “Want you inside.”

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t surprise you when he finally gave in, but you couldn’t complain. Though he didn’t concede without a few deep pumps of his fingers, enough to have you gasping and close to ripping the sheets apart beneath you. 

Baekhyun slipped his fingers from you and stood from the bed, his hands pushing down his briefs without hesitation. He nodded at you once, motioning with his chin to the headboard behind you. 

“On your knees, and face the headboard.” 

Renewed with your need to feel Baekhyun inside of you, you easily flipped over onto all fours, that warm sensation in your gums warning you that your fangs would extend at any moment. You didn’t fight it, hoping that it wouldn’t be much longer until you would need them. 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun exhaled, just before you felt the bed shift with his weight as he moved behind you. “You’re beautiful, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love seeing you like this.” 

You’re beautiful. 

The words echoed in your mind, though you knew they probably shouldn’t. He rarely complimented you so boldly, especially before he was inside of you, overwhelmed with pleasure and pain. Curling your hands into fists, you shoved your feelings down because you needed to. A survival instinct, really. 

Because if you fell for him, if you opened your heart, the odds were against you. You weren’t sure why he chose you, why you were the only one he allowed to feed from him, but you couldn’t let yourself see it as any more than a mutual transaction of pleasure.

Baekhyun snapped you out of your thoughts easily the moment he pressed up against you from behind, his hands molding down your sides until he could place them upon your hips. 

You hung your head between your shoulders, reaching your hands out to grip the wooden slats of your headboard. The anticipation was always the best, and worst, part of this. 

It almost scared you how well Baekhyun knew your body. He knew when he trailed his fingertips down between your shoulder blades that you’d shiver and bite your lip, using every ounce of willpower that you possessed not to beg him. Even though you were pretty sure that’s what he wanted. 

He knew when he leaned forward and kissed your shoulder, that you’d ultimately lose the battle with yourself and your dignity. You were hot, sweaty, and desperate. Desperate enough to give in and sob his name, squeezing your headboard so hard that you felt the wood splinter beneath your hands. 

Without another word, his lips still pressed to your skin, you finally felt the tip of his cock tease your entrance. You held your breath, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn’t drag it out any longer. 

Your wish was granted as he filled you in one long stroke, both of you releasing satisfied moans at the sensation. This... this was bliss. 

“How are you-” Baekhyun ground out through his teeth and squeezed your hips hard enough you’d probably bruise, if you could, “-always this tight? God.” 

His lips trailed across from one shoulder blade to the other, giving your body a moment to adjust to the girth of him, before he began to move. Just like every other time, he pulled sighs and moans from you that only his ears had ever had the privilege of hearing. 

“Oh, my god,” you breathed, your walls clenching around him each time he filled you, his pace making your head spin. 

“How’s it feel, baby?” Baekhyun asked, voice low next to your ear. 

It took a few more thrusts for you to be able to catch your breath to answer him, your head spinning from the way he was fucking you. It didn’t matter how many times you had him, he always made you like this. Crazy, hungry, and weak. 

“Good, so… so good.” 

“That’s right,” Baekhyun answered, one hand drifting from your hip down between your legs to find your clit. “You’re taking me so well. Think you might get to feed a little earlier than normal tonight, baby.” 

You clenched around him once more at his words. Recently, Baekhyun had started making you wait longer and longer to taste him. The last time, you’d been teetering right on the edge of your second orgasm when he finally bared his neck to you.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world--no, that moment when his blood hit your tongue had sent you towards the most electric, trembling climax you’d ever had. But you had to admit your mouth was watering already at the thought of sinking your teeth into his skin sooner rather than later. 

“Please,” you begged, pushing your ass back towards him. “Please, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun rolled his fingers around your clit in circular motions, grunting as he thrusted hard, jolting you forward. You gasped and moaned, throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“You want that, huh? You want me to fuck you while you drink from me?” He matched each stroke of his cock inside of you with the pace of his fingers, drawing tight circles between your legs. 

“Yes,” you answered, voice cracking. You didn’t just want it, you needed it. Your fangs were showing now, and you weren’t even sure at what point they’d finally protruded from your gums, a biological response to the thought that you would be needing them soon. 

Your world spun, briefly, as Baekhyun grabbed your hips and flipped you from your knees onto your back. It was quick, a move he’d pulled on you so many times you barely even noticed until he was pushing back inside of you. 

“Oh, look at you,” he said from above you. 

Now that you could see him, you could appreciate his rosy cheeks, the way his hair stuck to his temples, and the subtle way his shoulder muscles contracted each time he moved inside you. Holding himself up with one arm, he trailed his free hand down the side of your face and brushed his thumb over your lip. 

“You’re ready to feed, aren’t you, baby? So fucking needy. You think you deserve it?” The pad of his thumb slipped inside of your mouth, daring to trace over the shape of one of your fangs. 

All you could do was nod, the ability to actually speak coherent words completely lost on you at the moment. 

You waited, as patiently as you could while he was driving you insane, for Baekhyun to make the first move. You never reached for his arm first, never lunged for his neck or his shoulder, simply because you wanted him to have that control. 

Baekhyun leaned down, his lips trailing kisses from your chin up to your jaw, until he nipped at your earlobe. “Go ahead, pretty. Take what you want.” 

The next time he filled you completely with his cock, you finally sunk your teeth into Baekhyun’s neck, that same spot that you had claimed as your own already. You whimpered as his blood filled your mouth, sliding down your throat. 

You reveled in the way he tasted and the sinful way he inhaled sharply at the initial bite before he let out a long, blissful moan. Your body was on fire now, so consumed in Baekhyun and the way he felt buried this deep inside of your heat. It was like you were invincible. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him into you easily. It was different when you fed from him like this. You had to be careful, control yourself so that you didn’t hurt him too badly, but it tasted so damn good. 

Before you could get carried away, you forced yourself to pull back, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. Even though you were no longer feeding, you felt the effects of his blood rushing through your body already. 

It was electric and overwhelming in the best possible way, heightened even more so by the way Baekhyun fit inside of you and stretched you so perfectly. The entire room had brightened around you as if somebody had switched on a light. 

When you were finally able to focus on the man above you, you were pleased to find that he looked just as fucked out as you felt. His arms shook, for a moment, maybe from the quick loss of blood or just the sheer pleasure of it all.

Taken by a moment of bravery, you used your legs hooked around his hips to roll your bodies over so that you could settle on top of him and let him rest for a moment. His wound would heal quickly—something to do with the healing properties of your saliva, according to Kyungsoo—but you knew he’d need a beat to regain his strength. 

The moment he filled you completely, you took in a shuddering breath and planted your hands on his chest. Baekhyun stared up at you, eyes filled with awe, lips parted as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. 

“Wanna ride you,” you whispered, licking your lips once again. “I want to make you - make you feel good,” you admitted. 

Baekhyun’s hands found your thighs, pale and smooth, and dug his fingertips into your skin. Slowly, those fingertips trailed up to your hips to pull you closer, forcing you into a rocking motion atop of him. 

“Go on, then,” he breathed. “Make me feel good.” 

It occurred to you then that you’d been in this position with him only once before, and it only lasted a couple of minutes before he flipped you onto your back and took over control. This time, though, you wanted to take it until the end. You wanted him to see just a shred of the power you could have over him. 

Maybe you didn’t realize it until now, but you knew Baekhyun’s body just as well as he knew yours. 

You knew when you rolled your hips just right, he’d groan and his eyes would flutter closed as he fought not to thrust himself further inside of you. You knew his hands would start to roam, squeezing and groping at the smooth flesh of your hips and stomach. 

Not until Baekhyun had you learned to appreciate a man’s hands on you without feeling self conscious or try to cover up. Maybe because Baekhyun owed you nothing, there was no reason for him to lie to you or tell you what you wanted to hear. With his hands and his lips, he painted his honest truth on your body without saying a word. 

You started to lose yourself more and more with each roll, each circular grind of your hips on top of him, letting your needy moans fill the room along with his.

“Just like that,” Baekhyun praised, both hands holding firmly onto your waist. “Tell me, who makes you feel this good?”

You pressed your hands more firmly into his stomach and opened your eyes, only a little surprised to find him staring up at you again as if he was trying to drink in every inch of your body. 

Just when you were about to answer, Baekhyun bucked his hips up, pushing himself deeper inside of you—deep enough to make you shiver and lose any and all words that could have gone through your mind. 

“I-” you started, fighting the urge to close your eyes. With the way he was looking at you, you knew that Baekhyun wanted your eyes on him. “Y-you,” you could only whisper. 

“I said,” he said, through his teeth, surprising you as he sat up underneath of you so that your chests were flush together. “Who makes you feel like this?” 

“You, you, you,” you cried, feeling the familiar heat building in your belly and spreading down towards your thighs. “Baekhyun, oh, fuck…” 

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hummed, pleased, pulling you even closer to him. “Such a good girl. You know exactly who you belong to, don’t you? No one else can ever have you like this.” 

Even as far gone as you were, something about his words made you shiver, mind racing with all the ways he could mean those words. You’d accepted that you wanted more from him, more than a late night fuck and feed, but what if he felt the same way?

“No one.” 

Baekhyun pressed the words onto your lips. You clawed at his shoulders, not caring if you marked him, if you left scratches to match the mysterious half-healed slashes across his torso. You wanted him to belong to you, too, if only in one way. 

The kiss sent you closer to your high as your thoughts got the best of you, imagining what your life might be like if you could belong to each other. 

Maybe you could wake up next to him someday, help him with breakfast by frying the bacon while he mixed pancake batter. Or you could fall asleep curled up into his side, hand pressed to his chest, counting his heartbeats. 

“Close,” you whispered. “I’m so close.” 

“Me too, baby. Me too.” Baekyun pulled back first from the kiss, one hand in your hair and the other helping you keep your pace, gripped possessively around your hip.

When you finally tumbled over the edge, you could only speak incoherent mumbles and whispers of pleasure into the crook of his neck as your body bowed forward into him. 

Fireworks exploded behind your vision with your climax, a feeling you should have been used to by now, but you still found yourself practically blacking out every time. It was stronger, more powerful since you became a vampire. Like every cell of your body was exploding and putting itself back together again. 

“I got you, pretty, I’m here,” you heard Baekhyun whisper as he thrust into you from below, fucking you through the intense waves of your orgasm. 

The feeling returned to your fingertips what felt like an hour later, even though it was probably only a minute or two, and you found yourself able to open your eyes. You blinked a few times to let your eyes refocus, taking in the sight of Baekhyun so close to you, so close to his peak. 

“Baekhyun, I can’t-” you gasped, willing your trembling thighs to move so you could resume your movements on top of him. It was no use—you just didn’t have the strength. 

Baekhyun moved quickly, easily flipping your positions so that he was above you once more. He remained on his knees, grabbing one of your pillows to shove under your lower back. From this angle, he could wrap your legs around his waist and grind into you at the perfect angle. 

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, hands scrambling to clutch the sheets underneath of you. All you could do was watch him, devour him with your eyes the same way you had devoured him with your mouth. 

From the moment you met him, you’d thought he was beautiful. It always struck you as unfair that he appeared to be without flaws, as if you had dreamed him up. He just simply couldn’t be real. And if he was real, it was a miracle he wanted anything to do with you. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth. He was losing control, moving closer and closer to the edge with each deep thrust.

Your fingers squeezed and tugged at the sheets beneath your hands, the only thing you had the physical strength left to do. “Please,” you whined. “I wanna feel you come inside me.”

It didn’t take much longer, only a few more perfect rolls of his hips before he came with a loud, shuddering groan. You felt him spill inside of you, liquid heat that felt like it was never ending. This was your favorite part. It was the closest you could ever feel to him, surrounded in every way. 

Once he had come down, Baekhyun fell forward on top of you, catching himself on his forearms. He breathed deep and heavy, face buried between your neck and your shoulder. You found yourself stroking his back, tracing words into his skin that you couldn’t say out loud. 

When he finally rolled off of you, he didn’t go far, just flopped onto his side next to you. Your breath caught in your throat when he pulled you closer, one arm around your back and the other grazing your shoulder. 

Outside the window, you heard the morning birds begin their chirping. It was easier to focus on their melody than just how close Baekhyun was. Close enough to hear his pulse, quick and strong. 

“You okay?” he asked, nose nudging your jaw. “You get enough?” 

You swallowed, suddenly remembering the whole reason Baekhyun had come over in the first place. Because you both had an itch that needed to be scratched—nothing more. 

“Yeah,” you replied weakly. “I got enough.” 

But he didn’t move, just let his lips rest softly against your neck. It had never been like this before. Soft, quiet, sweet. 

“Why do you only let me feed from you?” you found yourself asking, hand on his chest gently pushing him back. “Why me?” 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” you sighed, sitting up and pushing your hair out of your face. “All your feeding marks are from me. I’m the only one, right?” 

Leaning up onto his elbows, Baekhyun could only shrug as if you’d asked him if he liked sugar in his coffee. “Yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I like you,” Baekhyun offered. As if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

You blinked. Had you heard him wrong? Did he mean it… like that? 

“You like me,” you repeated. 

Baekhyun had the nerve to laugh, just a light, airy chuckle. “That’s what I said. Why am I the only one you feed from?” 

Gulping, you tore your eyes away from him and shook your head. You wanted to deny it—but you both knew it was true. You’d never told him as much, but you wouldn’t be so desperate for him if you could easily get it somewhere else. Correction: you could have, you just didn’t want to.

“Because I like you.” 

When you looked back at Baekhyun, he was grinning, the light catching on the glitter still smeared across his cheeks. He pushed himself to sit up, reaching for your hands. He tugged you closer to him. 

“Yeah? You sure you don’t just like my delicious, mouthwatering blood?” 

You scoffed and shook your head, feeling a smile tug at your lips. “It’s not that delicious.” 

Baekhyun laughed again, and this time you had to join him. It felt like it was too good to be true, him wanting you the way you wanted him. You wanted to pinch yourself, just to make sure you hadn’t blacked out and imagined this whole conversation. 

“Since that’s settled,” Baekhyun said, fingers grazing up your arm, your throat, until he was lifting your chin. You saw his affection for you in his eyes, so obvious it made you wonder if you’d been missing it all along. 

When his lips touched yours, it was a kiss unlike any other you’d shared with him before. Deep and slow, like you had all the time in the world. You sighed into his mouth, letting his lips quiet every worry you had racing through your brain. 

“Stay the night,” you said softly once you parted from him. 

Baekhyun smirked, pressing his forehead into yours. “It’s already morning.” 

You glanced at the window, noting the soft glow of the sunrise behind your curtains. “Oh. Never-”

“I’m kidding,” he cut you off, stroking his fingertips across your cheek. “Only if you promise to cook breakfast for me when we wake up. You do eat, right?”

“Yes,” you said with a laugh. “I eat. I don’t need to, but I love food too much not to.” 

“That’s my girl,” he replied in a low tone, giving you goosebumps. 

In order to keep yourself from jumping his bones, you pulled from him and climbed off the bed, searching for the comforter Baekhyun had thrown off the mattress when you’d first laid down. Once you found it, you settled on top of the sheets with him, pulling the blanket over top of your bodies. 

Your memories from before you turned were a blur. Some things you could remember, but it was like they’d happened to somebody else. You knew you’d had a series of unsatisfying one night stands, a couple of boyfriends, and a handful of crushes. You remembered the face of the man who turned you, but not his name or how it happened. A blessing, Kyungsoo told you. 

And although you couldn’t remember the faces of any of your past lovers, you knew without a doubt in your mind that you would never forget Baekhyun. 

You realized as he brought you into his arms that he didn’t just make you feel human, he made you feel like the girl you’d been before. 

[ksywoo]

wip reveal tag game

game: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

tagged by: @nayaaatv (tysm for tagging me :') )

wips (?? means idk who i'm writing it for)

seungcheol exes to fwb to lovers

frat boy mingyu

jeon wonwoo simpery (obvious crush)

xmh can you love me

hoshi x best friends sibling

?? hs acquaintances get close in college (smau?????)

?? "i can fix him" but they can't </3

vocal unit jealous

vocal unit comforting you

hiphop unit with similar s/o

jww 11:28am

all members time stamps

all members drunk calls

tagging: i don't have moots yet akdjck so sorry for bothering/if you've already been tagged @twogyuu @suhnshinehaos @wonwoonlight

[ababybiter]

jungkook x y/n, besties to besties with benefits, a lot of texting, smut, fluff and college life, oh and lets pretend V wasn’t born in the christmas holidays

part 1/??

[00:19am] jungkook: please help me

{00:19am} jungkook: i don’t know what to get tae for his birthday

{00:23am} jungkook: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

{00:25am} y/n: jungkook

{00:25am} y/n: his birthday is literally 5 days away

{00:26am} y/n: why are u like this

Truth be told, you weren't that surprised. Your best friend Jungkook was a novice at putting in effort for his friends birthdays and you were wholeheartedly used to that fact. The stress of finding something for your other best friend’s birthday on Friday was stressful enough for you, let alone the inevitable pleas of Jungkook’s text messages on Sunday evening coming through were enough to send you over the edge.

{00:28am} jungkook: TECHNICALLY it’s 6 days away...

You roll your eyes as you lay on your back, snuggled up under your duvet. You glance at your bedroom door, thinking of your roommate and close friend Nina. As Taehyung’s girlfriend, you wondered what sort of gift she bought for him.

{00:29am} y/n: You know I struggled myself! Have you asked Nina?

{00:29am} jungkook: NO she’ll hate me for leaving it so late D:

{00:29am} jungkook: I’ve been at my computer for ages. mY desperation has led me to WISH.COM

{00:30am} y/n: no she won’t but i get you

{00:30am] y/n: get off wish u idiot

{00:30am} y/n: shall we go shopping on wednesday? I’ll help you find something

You rub your eyes, unable to even pretend to think of gift ideas right now. You turn off your bedside lamp, your eyes straining in the dark as you thank the lords for your 1pm lecture tomorrow. It’s then that you remember Jungkook has an early morning class.

{00:35am} jungkook: YOU’RE THE BEST!!!!

{00:36am} y/n: you should be asleep kook

{00:37am} jungkook: i know i’ll get there

{00:37am} jungkook: can’t sleep rn

{00:37am} y/n: why? gift stress?

{00:38am} jungkook: lol, idk just can’t 

{00:38am} jungkook:

You?

You roll over in the dark, trying to ignore the weird feeling in your stomach.

{00:39am} y/n: I have a late class tomorrow

{00:39am} y/n: YOU however sir do not

{00:39am} y/n: plus you’ve not been getting enough sleep lately, you need to sort out your pattern or you’ll be grumpy for V’s birthday :)

{00:40am} jungkook: i got it covered, just wanted to sort out a gift plan first

{00:40am} y/n: got it covered?

{00:41am} jungkook: I can make myself tired lol, dw <3

{00:42am} y/n: you gonna knock yourself out? LOOOL :(

{00:43am} jungkook: no y/n 

{00:43am} jungkook: 0.o

Oh. Oh.

You clench your thighs together, suddenly in the mood to do that too. 

No, what the fuck, no. That would be weird...touching yourself knowing that your best friend was doing the same. It would be weird...right?

Although it was Jeon Jungkook, you can’t deny that you’ve thought about him, accidentally of course, during your alone times. It was a secret you wouldn’t even admit to yourself let alone him or anyone else. 

It was clearly just the dry spell talking. Your last boyfriend was well over a year ago and Jungkook was a guy. A hot guy. It’s probably normal to fantasise about him.

Except you didn’t fantasise about Tae, or Yoongi, or any of your other male friends. The thought alone sent a different feeling to your stomach, these were your FRIENDS. Practically your brothers.

So why was Jungkook any different?

{00:47am} jungkook: you still there? 

{00:49am} jungkook: don’t pretend like you don’t do it too.

Was this still friendly territory? The full stop in his last text did something to your lower stomach.

Okay, now you’re being weird. You start typing tentatively.

{00:50am} y/n: I mean yeah, who doesn’t?

{00:51am} jungkook: Do you miss sex?

{00:51am} y/n: amongst other things, yes

{00:52am} jungkook: Such as?

Butterflies dance in your stomach as you type your next words, this was brand new territory for you and Jungkook. You wouldn’t even talk about this stuff with Nina...

{00:53am} y/n: I miss being eaten out

Your fingers dance over the screen as you wait for his response. You close and shut the app quickly before reopening it. 

{00:53am} jungkook: mhm

That’s it? Your cheeks redden in the darkness of your room as you shuffle your legs under the covers. 

{00:54am} y/n: I should sleep, it’s getting pretty late for me now

{00:55am} jungkook: okay, yeah sure

You’re about to lock your phone and throw it to the other side of your bed when it buzzes one more time.

{00:57am} jungkook: But are you tired?

{00:59am} y/n: I...am getting there. Why?

{1:00am} jungkook: we could help each other out?

{1:00am} y/n: how?

Jeez, how are you already wet? The excitement of talking to Jungkook like this was too much, clearly. You were 99% sure he was insinuating what you thought he was. But it had been a long time since you sexted, it also wasn’t something you and your ex had done much throughout the relationship.

{1:02am} jungkook: I like talking to you like this. I want to hear what else you like.

{1:02am} jungkook: let’s make each other tired

{1:02am} y/n: jeon!!!! you wanna sext?

{1:02am} jungkook: you made me horny y/n!

{1:03am} y/n: that was alllllll you jk! horny mf

Jungkook reads your message. The absence of the speech bubble appearing makes you stomach twist. Your phone goes dark waiting for it to appear. As much as you reprimanded him for his boyish behaviour, something in you wanted it to continue. But you probably blew it by being so whiney. Fuck. You didn’t know you wanted to sext Jungkook so bad.

And then.

{jungkook: Attachment 1 image}

You hesitate, before sliding open the chat. He’s laying in bed, the phone angled down at this legs in his black sweat pants. His thighs pressed close together in the tight yet stretchy material, his dick protrudes up from under the trousers, casting a dark shadow over his stomach. You know right there and then that this boy’s nudes would look like art.

{1:08am} jungkook: let’s help each other out

{1:08am} jungkook: this is what thinking about you did to me

{1:09am} jungkook: tell me if you want me to stop

You stare at the messages on your phone, fingers hovering over the keys, your instinct to explode your feelings into capital letters and ask him what’s happening. Because that’s how honest you too are...so I guess it’s normal to be this honest too.

You fling the duvet off and swing your legs out of bed. Your heart hammers in your chest as you kneel in front of the mirror, not really thinking with your brain right now. You pull off the baggy t-shirt that floats around your torso, leaving you in your underwear. You place a hand over your breasts, hiding your nipples in a seductive fashion, before using your other hand to snap a photo, hiding half of your heated face with the phone.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you press send.

You squeal, throwing your phone face down on bed, hoping you didn’t wake Nina up. The last thing you needed was for her to come bursting in to your room right now.

{1:13am} jungkook: holy shit

{1:13am} jungkook: you’re so hot

{1:13am} jungkook: i’m so hard for you

{1:13am} jungkook: wow

You climb quickly back into bed, his words sending electric waves to your core.

{1:14am} y/n: shall I touch myself?

{1:14am} jungkook: fuk yes

{1:14am} jungkook: i can use this picture right?

{1:14am} y/n: that's why i sent it kook :’)

{1:15am} jungkook: right okay haa good

{1:15am} jungkook

: holy wow

You try not to giggle at his cuteness, when his next message makes you gasp.

{1:16am} jungkook: god i wanna taste you

That was all it took to get your hand to work. More dirty words are exchanged, both of you sweating and misspelling, as you both get yourselves off to each other.

{1:26am} y/n: jungkook i’m gonna cum

{1:27am} jungkook: shit y/n me too

{1:27am} jungkook: fucck

Your orgasm washes over you. Your eyes flutter shut as you imagine Jungkook’s lips on your pussy, his body on top of you, the look on his face as he comes. You wonder if he’s loud in bed. If he’s moaning right now.

{1:30am} y/n: That was so fun.

{1:30am} jungkook: jesus. yes it was

{1:31am} y/n: maybe we can do it in person some time?

{1:37am} jungkook: yeah?

{1:37am} y/n: yeah, i guess i really have missed this stuff

{1:37am} y/n: wanna be friends with benefits?

{1:40am} jungkook: Is that what you want?

{1:40am} y/n: i think it sounds fun, what about you? are you down?

{1:41am} jungkook: mhm yes i’m down :)

Your newly found post orgasm confidence delegated some rules over text to Jungkook, which he easily agreed on. The main one being that should the opportunity arise to be physically imitate with each other, the two of you would be exclusive, and let the other person know if they were interested in being sexual with someone else. To which the arrangement would stop.

And under no circumstances, would it come between your friendship.

The two of you had been best friends for over 2 years now, meeting through Taehyung at college party. You didn’t even think about seeing him face to face after the occurrences of last night and what the ‘vibe’ would be, as Nina might say. In fact, it still hadn’t fully settled in that you had sexted Jungkook last night. As you left your apartment just after 12 to get some lunch before your lecture, it had felt like a hazy hot dream.

{GROUPCHAT: 1 new message}

{12:14am} V: anyone on campus ??? I bought too much food from the cafe. Need to share. Heading to the field if anyone wants to eat with me!

You type with two hands as you walk quickly onto campus.

{12:14am}: y/n: I’m almost at the field!

{12:14am} jungkook: I’m at the field now, just finished my jog

You stare at the message that popped up at the same time as yours. Butterflies fill your stomach again at the thought of seeing Jungkook in the flesh after the filthy wishes that were shared between the two of you less than 12 hours ago.

You look up as you reach the grass. Laying down on the green, propped up on his lower arms is the man is your best friend and new sexting buddy Jeon Jungkook. His fluffy black hair is pushed back with a sweat band that you’re sure belongs to Yoongi. The arms of his long sleeved black sweat shirt is rolled up to his elbows, and your eyes fall to his black jogging bottoms. You’re sure they’re a different pair, but the photo he sent you last night burns in your mind and you feel a familiar warmth down below.

Before you reach him, Taehyung appears, slinging down a grocery bag on the grass to which Jungkook leans forward and peers into, flicking his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“Hey, Y/N!” Tae lifts a hand. “You know you two were the ones I was expecting to accept free food at the speed of light.”

“Hi guys.” You fall to your knees on the soft grass, dropping your bag beside you.

Jungkook’s eyes flicker over you before he meets your gaze. “Hey.” A shy smile ghosts his lips before he opens a packet of Doritos.

“Do you know if Nina got up in time for work?” Tae asks.

“Yeah, she was gone long before me.” You smile, focusing your attention on V.

“So is she not quitting the barista job then?” Jungkook sits up, shoving crisps into his mouth.

“No, she there’s no where else she can work where they’ll let her do the hours she wants.” V explains.

“Yeah, lucky bitch only has classes two days a week.” You scoff. “I should have taken politics.”

“Except one of those days is Friday.” He sighs, pulling out a sandwich and passing it to you. “Guess I’ll be high and dry on my birthday.”

“She’s not coming to your party Friday night?” Jungkook scrunches up the crisp packet noisily.

“Oh yeah she is, but I won’t see her until then, and if I’m not smashed, Nina will be, so...no birthday fuck for me.” He sighs wistfully. “Not one I’d remember anyway.”

Usually this sort of statement from Tae would breeze over you, but your hands become hot and you notice Jungkook swallow and cough. You wonder if he regrets the arrangement you agreed upon last night. You desperately needed to talk about this in person.

“So, um, why do you have so much food?” You open the packet, shoving the bread into your mouth.

“They were doing some deals at the cafe.” V munches. “Oh, to be a student.”

Suddenly, Jungkook stands.

“I’m gonna go get cleaned up, enjoy your lunch guys.” He pats you on the head as he goes. “See you Wednesday, Y/N.”

You bristle at the friendly gesture, again something you wouldn’t have previously batted an eye at, but given the nature of your current situation it seemed...unnatural.

“What you doing Wednesday?” Taehyung asks through a mouthful of baguette.

“Oh, uh, just...meeting up.” You stammer, your eyes following Jungkook’s legs as they head towards the path.

“Hmm.” Taehyung smirks, drinking from his water bottle. “Just meeting up, huh.”

“What?” You snap your head towards him.

“You can’t fool me, Y/N.”

Oh god, you couldn’t be talking about this with Tae before you’d even had a chance to talk about it with Jungkook. How did he know anyway? Were the two of you really being that awkward?

“How-...what?” You blush.

“It’s something to do with my birthday isn’t it?” He grins.

You desperately try to hide your expression of relief and replace it with playfulness. You force yourself to roll your eyes. “Brat.”

After a day and a half of classes, you’re glad to have your mind preoccupied with no more awkward run ins with Jungkook, since your classes were held on opposite sides of the campus. Wednesday morning rolls around, and you’re surprised that he texts you first.

{10:54am} jungkook: Heeey my favourite creative gift giver

You blink at his confidence, baring in mind the previous conversation of your ‘benefit’s’ were floating above his latest text.

You walk into the kitchen, a smile on your face as you type out a reply.

{10:55am} y/n: You’re lucky you get me to leave the house on my day off :P

“Morning!” Nina beams at you, shoving fruit into her smoothie maker. You smile back at her, wishing you were as put together as she was. It makes sense she had a bunch of guys fawning for her attention before she and V got together. It’s even cuter knowing that she dodged them all to be with our lovely Taehyung.

{10:56am} jungkook: you can’t resist the kook ;)

Your bite on your fingernails, staring bewildered at the boy texting you. It felt like someone else was using Jungkook’s phone, his flirtation over text confusing you to no end, whilst his shy demeanour in person suggested he had a split personality. And still, how this was all wrapped up in your best friend of over 2 years you’ll never be able to believe it.

Still, ignoring your nerves, you were looking forward to seeing him properly. To shake off this high school cyber flirt situation.

“Who’s the guy?” Nina slams her hands down on the counter separating the two of you.

“What?” You jump.

“Who’s the guy that’s got you blushing and smiling at your phone like a love sick puppy?” Nina’s eyes sparkle.

You sigh. Since dating Taehyung, Nina had become more interested in your love life, constantly wanting you on the same level as her. She’d also become much more intuitive, to your dismay.

But this was Nina, and you couldn’t hide anything from her. Plus, you needed her deep and thoughtful opinions.

“Wait, so, you haven’t even SPOKEN about it yet?” Nina looks gobsmacked as she keeps missing her mouth with her smoothie straw.

“No! It happened on Sunday night, and we’ve both had classes.” You glance down at your phone, the latest message from Jungkook on the screen, saying he’ll meet you outside your apartment at 12:30.

“Damn...you and jungkook...who’d have thought.” Nina taps her glass.

“He’s seen my boobs Nina!” You exclaim, shoving a left over banana from Nina’s smoothie making into your mouth.

“I bet he’d love to see that.” Nina makes a square with both her thumbs and forefingers, capturing the erotic display in front of her.

“God, you’re spending too much time with V.” You roll your eyes, chomping loudly.

“And you’re spending too much time with Jungkook!” Nina points. “Close your mouth!”

You pout chewing quietly, as you pick up your phone.

“Shit! Nina, how long have we been sitting here, I have to get ready.”

“Wow!” Nina laughs as you leap away from the counter to your bedroom. “Anyone would think you’re going on a date!”

She ducks, missing the banana skin as it hurls over her head.

Nina’s words get to you. Why did you care what you looked like? It’s not like you’ve never hung out with your best friend before. No. You knew why. It’s because it wasn’t just Nina’s words that got to you.

‘You’re so hot.’

You hadn’t even thought if Jungkook had ever found you attractive or not. It was a low grade compliment that you so guilty enjoyed. You wonder if he found you hot every day, when you ate together, played video games together, when you attended the same parties did he ever look at you in your short skirts and think...

“Hey, Y/N.”

Your weird and wild thoughts are cut short by the man himself. Jungkook approaches you as you lean against the wall of your accommodation building. He stops in front of you, his eyes scanning your previously distracted face. Did he always stand this close?

“Ready to go?”

Together you drive the short journey to the mall. You discuss gift ideas as Jungkook watches the road, whilst you try not to watch his hands.

He parks the car in the underground parking lot and unbuckles his belt quickly. You sigh. Unlike him, YOU can’t go the whole day without talking about IT.

“Jungkook.” You start, your voice dropping an octave.

He freezes like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Y/N.”

“Do you still...about the other night, um...” You mentally kick yourself, wishing you’d prepared what you were going to say before you said it. “I had fun...is what I’m trying to say.”

“So did I.” He smiles. “A lot of fun.”

“Good. Me too. Are you still...down?” You meet his gaze, wishing you weren't having this conversation at such a close proximity.

“Yeah.” He catches his lip for a moment in between his teeth and you swear you almost stop breathing. He glances over your face. “Sorry, down to...?”

You smack his arm lightly. “You know...down to get down.” You wiggle your eyebrows before regretting it instantly. “Ahem, down to be friends with benefits.”

He gazes at you, his eyes darkening. “Is that what you want?”

Why does he keep asking that? Of course you want it! You wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.

“Yeah.” You tell him. “I don’t wanna be one of those crazy uptight people that need to get laid.”

He breathes air out of his nose. “We wouldn’t want that would we?” He smirks, leaning closer to you until his breath is fanning your lips. “I think we know our first order of business.”

“Mhm?” You mumble, trying to still calm your breathing as you stare at his wet lips that he just licked, purposefully. His hand slides around to your back.

Suddenly there’s a click as he undoes your seatbelt.

“Find a birthday present for Taehyung!” He pulls away and opens his car door.

You let out a breath. Jeon Jungkook.

Shopping was taking longer than expected. It was hard to find something that didn’t scream ‘happy birthday, I just bought this from the mall 2 days ago!’. Jungkook wasn’t making it any easier, he was more interested embracing the role of the best friend with benefits.

“Hey, wanna take a look in here?” He throws an arm around you, nudging you towards the lingerie store.

“Jungkook I’m here to help you find a present for Taehyung. Have you forgotten that I’ve already got something to give him?”

“Okay okay, I’m just saying. I’d definitely want to see you in that.” He points to a black lace plunge bodysuit worn by mannequin. 

“Mhm, yeah?” You lower your voice, drawing his attention back to you. “Well, you said first order of business was to find a birthday present for Tae, so that’s what we’re doing right now.”

He smirks down at you. “Fine. What do you suggest?”

“I have an idea.” You tug on his hand a few stores down. “You should get him a whole new outfit. He’s always telling you how much he loves your style!”

“Yeah, that would be cool.” He smiles. “See, this is why I needed your help! You’re good with this stuff!”

“Come on!”

Excitedly, the two of you begin picking out clothes you both like and that you think V will love. Eventually you come up with a handful of shirts, trousers, jackets and shoes.

“Okay, now we gotta put them into outfits and choose which one we like the best.” Jungkook dumps the clothes on a seating area, the mall is quiet today. Most people are at work or college on a weekday, leaving the seating areas open to have clothes dumped upon.

“Kook, you can’t choose like this. You need to try them on. You guys are like the same size.”

“Ah, really?” He groans. “I’m too hungry for this.”

“We’ll get food after this.” You pick up the clothes and shove them into his chest. “Go.” You nod to the changing rooms.

He carries the items to the changing rooms, you follow along behind, letting your hand feel the mens clothes hung up on the racks as you pass.

“Hey, uh, got a few items here.” Jungkook shrugs to the college aged boy behind the changing room desk.

The guy barely looks up from his phone as he nods Jungkook down the hallway to the changing rooms. You stay behind, pulling out your phone.

{13:23pm} nina bean!: Hey?! How’s it going ;) x

{13:35pm} y/n: Fine lol, I don’t know what you think is happening at the MALL x

You wait for her reply, your eyes falling to the ground by the desk, where a crumpled up t-shirt lies. You stoop forward to pick it up, and it’s only your favourite choice out of all the options. There’s no way he’s not trying this one on. The man behind the counter pays no attention as you start down the hallway, the t-shirt in your grasp.

“Jungkook.” You whisper.

Finally, he answers you from the end of the corridor. “Yeah?”

You pull open the curtain and gasp.

“Jesus, Y/N!” Jungkook scrambles to pull any pair of trousers over his bare legs as he stands in his boxers. 

“You said yeah!” You step inside the changing cubicle with him, for a reason you can’t think of, closing the curtain behind you from the inside.

“Yeah doesn’t mean ‘whip open the curtain for anyone to see!’” He sits down on the small bench.

“Oh chill out, there’s literally no one here today.” You hold up the shirt, standing in front of him. “You dropped this.”

He takes the shirt, opening it up to inspect it with large curiosity. His cheeks crimson. You chuckle quietly. “You know, you’ll have to get used to me seeing you naked right?”

His eyebrows flick upwards as he hides a shy smile. “Right.”

It seems awkward Jungkook has returned. Unbeknownst to you, the idea of being intimate with you already sent his heart rate through the roof. Realising the idea goes beyond hypothetical advances and flirtatious jokes was enough give Jungkook a heart attack.

It was only then that the thought occurred to you, maybe you had wanted this kind of relationship with him for a long time, and maybe he had too.

As you ponder this revelation, your eyes drop to a new piece of art on his shoulder. 

“Hey.” Your fingers reach out before you can stop them, brushing the inked skin. “You got a new tattoo?”

He shivers under your touch, staring up at you, as if he doesn’t know what you’ll do next. His fingers reach out, before he can stop them, and pull you closer by your jean belt hoop. “Like it?”

“Love it.” You whisper, drawing around the outline with your nail. He hisses.

You clear your throat and back off. “I’ll be outside when you’re done.”

Jungkook stands up, keeping the close proximity as he backs you into the wall of the cubicle. “Promise me something, Y/N.” He murmurs, tracing your jawline with his finger.

“What, kook?”

“I’ll always have you. No matter what.”

“Of course cringe ball.” You whisper.

He smiles then, relieving some of the tension in the air. His smile is infectious, you giggle back at him. When he looks at your lips, his smile fades, and your heart pounds in your ears. You can hear his shaky breath as he leans in, so slowly that it’s almost unnoticeable. Painfully slow. He stops, a hair away from your lips as they part.

“Kook-” You murmur.

At the sound of his nickname he wastes no more time. Bringing his lips to yours eagerly, one hand caressing your jaw whilst other rests above your hip. The kiss is passionate, his thigh pokes in between yours in an attempt to get as close to you as possible. You grant access to his tongue as it shyly asks for permission against your teeth. The feeling of your tongue against his seems to spur him on. He whimpers into your mouth, pressing his crotch against yours. You catch your breath as his mouth leaves yours, only to trail kisses along your jaw and down your neck. “Kook...” You moan softly as he moves your top strap and sucks on your collarbone.

“Mmm?” He moves back to your mouth, kissing you deeply.

“We have to...choose...an outfit...” You breath in between kisses.

“Mmm, I know.” He pulls away from your lips, touching them with his finger. Then he steps back and grabs an outfit, including the t-shirt you chose. “I’ve chosen.”

“Did you try them on?”

“All except this.” He pulls the shirt over his head and looks in the mirror. “It’s fine. It’ll fit.” He pulls it back off and smirks when he catches you staring. He leans forward and kisses you on the nose. “Let’s go eat.”

You pick up the discarded clothes to return and he starts to help you. “That was hot.” He throws a smile in your direction.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got a kink for public places I didn’t know about?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I guess you’ll find out all about my kinks.” He winks, pulling open the curtain. 

As you both leave the store with outfit for Taehyung, you check your phone.

{13:40pm} nina bean!: You tell me ;) x

Something tells you, you will.

After a full day of classes on Thursday, you and Nina meet and walk home together. She’s completely invested in your friendly sexual adventures, but decides to broach a different type of question.

“Did you always know you wanted Jungkook?”

“I didn’t always want him.” You correct her. “I always knew he was cute...well, more than cute, but who didn't? He’s been a great friend to me since we met...we’re just helping each other out.”

“Y/N, you just made out with your best friend, who was TOPLESS, let’s not forget. IN A CHANGING ROOM STALL. You’re telling me there was no spark? No passion? No...”

“I didn’t say that.” You hide a smirk as Nina squeals beside you, tugging your arm. 

“Oh yes! I can’t wait till you start dating. I can FINALLY double date with my bestie. There’s so many couples date ideas I want to try out with the four of us-”

“Who said I want to be in a couple?!” You gesture wildly. 

“Well what DO you say, Y/N? You just admitted that there was a spark.”

“There can be a spark in my situation.” You protest. “It passionate because it’s fun. I think he’s hot, he thinks I’m hot. We’re already comfortable with each other. It’s the perfect match.”

“Perfect match.” Nina pokes you.

“Nina! Are you not familiar with the term ‘FRIENDS with benefits’?”

“Yes, I am familiar.” Nina snaps. “Very familiar, actually.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow. It was a rare occurrence that you found something out about Nina that you didn’t already know.

“Oh, indeed.” She nods. “It was a disaster. I fell for him stupidly fast, and then he told me he was getting back with his ex and that was that. He’d been thinking of HER the entire time. Point is, it’s better to stick to the generic way of dating in this day and age, so you KNOW where his head is at. Trust me.”

“Yeah well, Jungkook is my best friend, he’s not thinking of anyone.” You tell her. 

“I know!” She nods. “Sorry. I don’t want to worry you. I just want you to be happy, like I am.”

“I am perfectly happy with my current relationship with Jungkook.” You reassure her.

She smiles, her eyes lighting up once the two of you reach your accommodation. “V!” She exclaims.

“Hey!” V holds a small bunch of flowers as he wraps his arms around his girlfriend. 

“What’s this? I thought I wasn’t seeing you until your party.” Nina blinks up at him.

“Yeah, about that. I wanted an afternoon with my girl before we get shit faced drunk with our friends. I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“V, you’re so cute!” Nina gasps. “I’m suppose to be spoiling you this week!”

“Hey, Y/N!” V ruffles your hair. “Mind if I steal your roommate?”

“Not at all.” You laugh.

“Oh, V, I’m not exactly ready for a dinner date.” Nina cups her own cheeks self consciously.

“You’re gorgeous.” He taps her nose. “Don’t be silly.”

Nina turns to you with the flowers in her grasp. “Can you put these in some water for me?”

“Sure.” You smile.

You watch them skip away, thoughts swirling. You couldn’t imagine Jungkook making a gesture like that. To another girl, yes, but to you? 

Who knows what you wanted anymore.

After dropping your bag on your bedroom floor, you decide to take a long hot shower. You step out to see a flash on your phone. 4 memes from Jungkook.

{16:44} y/n: thanks for the meme spam :’)

{16:45} jungkook: I should probably stop sitting in my towel scrolling through memes and get dressed lol I'm so relatable

{16:45} y/n: LMAO I’M DOING THE SAME THING RN

{16:45} jungkook: proof

Here comes that excitement in your stomach again, who cares if you weren’t in a proper relationship? Who cares if Jungkook’s feelings weren’t as intense as yours? Your relationship now was exhilarating. 

You let the towel drop from your body and glance at the mirror, your figure blurry with steam from the glass, but there’s enough to see what he wants to see, whilst leaving more to the imagination.

Snap.

You send the photo and put on a pair of shorts and t-shirt, climbing into bed. The exhaustion of a day full of absorbing information comes crashing down.

{16:48} jungkook: fuck that’s sexy

{16:48} jungkook: wanna see me?

{16:48} y/n: yes please

{jungkook: Attachment 1 image}

You were right. This boy knows how to take nudes. He holds his dick in one hand, the camera settled into selfie mode to show his v line and tense stomach. You gasp quietly at how big he is. He sits on the side of the bath, his towel discarded beside him.

You move your panties aside and start rubbing in slow circles at the sight of him.

{16:50} y/n: i’m touching myself

{16:50} y/n: wow you’re so hard already

{16:50} jungkook: that’s what you do to me baby

{16:51} y/n: i want to send you something else

{16:51} jungkook: ?

You video yourself, sliding your finger up and down your clit, drawing the slick up to your stomach. You send it to him, giddy as a school girl. 

{16:52} jungkook: fuck

{16:52} jungkook: stop y/n

You feel your face heat up at his request. Was it too much? You look down at your pussy self consciously.

{16:53} jungkook: Can I come over?

You say yes.

Jungkook’s accommodation is a ten to fifteen walk away. You change into a thin vest top and sexier gym shorts despite the cold weather. You stand in front of the mirror, overthinking as per usual. Was it too try hard? He’s seen you in what you normally wear to chill and snack in after a day of classes, this was clearly for him. 

But you kind of liked that.

-

hi!!!! this is my first time writing in about 5 years o.O thanks for reading!!! i’m weak for best friend jungkook imagines so I thought i’d try and make one. LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART 2. 

<3 

[wonkiewolfie]

Drunk Calls || RM

Requested by @hetellsme-sweetlies , and she said “I’m feeling ANGSTYYY. 31 and 92 😈” so here we go.

Prompts -- (#31) “ I fucked up. ” and (#92) “ Are you drunk? ” from [this] prompt list. Requests are still open.

EDIT: I have removed all links from this post because of the issues Tumblr is currently having with links. If you would like to read more of my work, you can access my masterlist from the link in my bio.

I looked at my phone, contemplating whether to dial his number or not. I shrugged, my intoxicated brain telling me it was a good idea. I wanted to get it all off my chest. I tapped his name on my screen, feeling the phone rumble as it rang.

No answer.

It was 3am anyway. He was probably asleep.

I shrugged again.

It went to voicemail, and I decided to go ahead and leave a message. I sat on my bed, slouching comfortably. I let out a deep breath and began talking.

I woke up with the phone still in my hand. I had passed out and awoken, not sure where I was or what I had done the night before. I opened my phone.

5 unread messages. 3 missed calls. 1 voicemail.

“Oh shit,” I sighed, smacking myself in the forehead. My head pounded at the harsh contact.

I opened my texts.

From: Joonie [4:27am] -- I missed your call. Sorry, I just saw it.

From: Joonie [4:27am] -- Are you okay?

From: Joonie [4:28am] -- Are you drunk?

From: Joonie [4:28am] -- Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?

From: Joonie [4:31am] -- Please answer your phone. Are you okay?

I shook my head, sighing. I didn’t even bother listening to the voicemail because I assumed it was more of the same.

What did I do? I was so drunk last night. I was struggling to remember anything after I was dancing with Jimin. I began retracing my steps.

He had convinced me to go out with him to a frat party after I spent a few hours crying over his friend, Namjoon Kim. I had known Namjoon for two years. He was in his second year of college, just like me. He was in the same program as me, majoring in English Lit. He was quiet, and shy, and awkward.

And I was in love with him.

I had finally admitted it to Jimin—and myself—after a night of drinking myself sad. Jimin walked me back to my dorm room, convincing me that I needed to come clean to Namjoon about my feelings. I agreed with him, but as soon as Jimin left me alone, I had called Namjoon.

I smacked myself on the forehead once again, and the force rang through my entire skull. I was now one-hundred percent sure that was not what he meant.

“Dammit,” I groaned loudly. Now, I remembered. “Shit.”

I wish I could remember what I told him. I wish I could remember precisely what I said to him last night. I racked my brain, but I really couldn’t recall the exact words I used. I had an inkling as to what it might have been though.

I resolved myself to sending him a message.

To: Joonie [12:36pm] -- Sorry, I was out with Jimin last night. He got me home. I’m okay now, home safe and sound. Just hungover. Don’t worry.

I decided to send another. Just to be safe.

To: Joonie [12:37pm] -- Just disregard anything I said in that voicemail last night. It was a joke.

I shook my head after hitting send. It was a lame excuse, but it was the best I could think of. I had a sinking feeling about what I had said to him through my voicemail, and it couldn’t have been good.

I decided to take a shower and ignore my phone for a while. Maybe If I ignored the problem, it would go away and things could go back to normal. I relished the feeling of my fingertips massaging my scalp. My tired, aching body relaxing into the hot water pouring from the shower head.

“I am never going out with Jimin again,” I resolved to myself. My voice echoed off the empty bathroom walls.

As the calming shhh came to a stop, I stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in a warm, plush towel. I hummed at the warm, comforting embrace of the cloth.

I decided to further ignore my ever-pinging phone. Apparently, Namjoon had seen my messages and was responding in excess. As I dressed for my afternoon classes, I continued tuning out my panicking phone. It was vibrating so hard, that it was nearly vibrating itself off of the nightstand.

I sighed, checking my phone. As suspected, all of my messages were from Namjoon. I didn’t open them, deciding to pretend I didn’t see them. My mind was still half intoxicated, or at least hungover, and I wasn’t equipped to handle the reality that I may have spilled my guts to him in one stupid drunken phone call.

After I was fully dressed, I checked my phone again. More messages from Namjoon. Of course.

I opened them, but I didn’t read them, just to clear the notifications from my screen. I made my way out of my room and out of my dorm, mentally deciding to tackle my only class today with as much energy as I could muster.

As I slid into the classroom, I realized I was rather early, moving to sit in the very back corner of the room. It was far from my normal seat, but I was counting on that fact. Namjoon usually cut his arrival time pretty close to the start of class, and I was hoping someone would sit next to me before he got there, effectively hiding me from his view.

No such luck.

Before class started, I felt a silent tap on my shoulder. I looked up to meet the concerned eyes of the man himself, Namjoon Kim.

“Hey, what’s up? You left me on read. I was out of my mind worrying about you all morning,” he said earnestly.

I felt a twinge if a pain in my heart at his words mixed with the sorrowful look in his deep brown eyes. “Sorry, I’m really hungover. I literally rolled out of bed and came to class.” It wasn’t a total lie. I was hungover as fuck. I didn’t tell him that I never even read his messages.

“You could have responded at least... Listen, uh, can I talk to you about your voicemail?” He asked earnestly.

I shook my head, running my hand through my hair roughly. “Can we talk after class?” I was one-hundred percent trying to avoid talking to him.

He bit his full lip, nodding solemnly, but he didn’t push the subject any further.

The professor walked in the classroom not a moment later, ushering in the beginning of class. I tried my best to listen, to glean anything from today’s lesson, but it was hopeless. I felt my eyelids getting heavier once again. Suddenly, I hear a snicker from beside me, and I jolt awake to look at Namjoon, who was covering his mouth to hide his smile. He blushed when I looked at him through bleary vision, clearing his throat and pretending to take notes.

I sat up straight, feeling a sudden wave of nausea rush through me. I tried to swallow it down. I checked the time on my phone; class had thirty minutes left. I can make it, I nodded my head, biting back the urge to vomit on the person in front of me. I felt like I was going to be okay, but all at once, the urge hit me like a tidal wave again.

I quickly and quietly gathered my things. Namjoon gave me a silent puzzled look as I stood wordlessly and exited out the rear door of the classroom.

After making my way to the restroom and retching my guts out, I cleaned myself up in the bathroom sink. I stared myself down in the mirror. You are a mess. I inspected the dark circles under my eyes and huffed out a frustrated groan. My complexion was paler than usual.

I decided to head back to my dorm early. I hadn’t learned anything new in class today anyway, and to be honest, it would be easier to avoid Namjoon this way too.

I picked up my bag off the bathroom floor and exited into the hall. I was making my way toward the building’s exit when I heard him calling my name. I stopped, sighed, and turned to face the music.

“Where are you going?” He asked, jogging up to me. “Class isn’t over.”

I sighed again, “Honestly, I can't make it through the rest of class. You should go back though.”

He threw his arms out in exasperation. “I thought you wanted to talk after class.”

I laughed harshly, my head pounding with the volume of his voice. He had never raised his voice like that toward me, and honestly, today was not the day for it. It hit the wrong nerve today.

“No, Joon. You wanted to talk after class. I wanted to go back to my dorm and nurse this hangover.” My body was slouched, but my voice was biting.

He let his jaw fall slack. I had never raised my voice to him either. I had never used such a harsh tone with him. He recovered quickly though. “Look, I just wanna talk about your voicemail-“

“I don’t remember what I said, Joonie!” I interjected quickly, not ready for the rejection that was sure to come. “I was drunk! It didn’t really mean anything, so why is it so important to talk about?”

“Because it’s important to me!” He yelled louder, commanding my attention. I stared at him, my fists clenching at my sides. “If you don’t remember, I can play it for you! I want to talk to you about this. We need to talk about it.”

I shook my head, looking down at my feet. Tears were stinging at my eyes. I wasn’t ready for the rejection.

Just as he started to speak again, the halls flooded with the bodies of our classmates, effectively silencing him. People kept bumping my shoulders, and I took the opportunity to turn and leave. I spun around on my heel and started toward the exit at a brisk pace.

I heard him calling my name, undoubtedly trying to push past the crowd to get to me. I knew without having to look for myself. I just kept moving, not looking back. I made it out of the building successfully, still struggling to keep my tears in check. As I followed the crowd out onto the lawn, I made my way toward my dorm.

I thought I had evaded him, but I heard my name again. Instinctively, I broke out in a run.

“Stop! Wait!” He called, his voice getting closer.

I knew there was no way I could outrun him, but that didn’t halt my movements. Suddenly, I was pulled to a screeching halt by the hand the reached out to my shoulder.

The movement was urgent and clumsy, knocking Namjoon and I both to the ground because of the momentum. Our bodies tumbled into each other, my bag flying onto the grass a few away. I felt my body ache as I laid on the ground.

I felt my shoulders shake, and I heard my name again. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to knock you over. I just wanted you to stop running.”

I pushed myself up off of the grass, pushing his hands away from me angrily. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m sorry!” He quickly apologized, gesturing as if he wanted to help me up but refused to defy me.

I sat back on the grass, finally looking at him. “I fucked up.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “huh?”

I groaned, my head lolling backward to look at the sky. “I shouldn’t have called you last night. I don’t remember what I said, but I have a feeling. I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t want to tell you and make you hate me.”

“How could I hate you?” He asked suddenly, sounding hurt.

I didn’t respond, closing my eyes and refusing to look at him.

“If I hated you, do you think I would have chased you down so desperately just now?” He asked in disbelief. “Do you think I would have tried so hard to talk to you about this?”

I stayed silent. I didn’t know how to respond at all, so I didn’t move. I didn’t even breathe.

After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You love me?”

I nodded silently, still not meeting his gaze. It hurt to confirm it to him somehow.

“And you can't say it sober?” He asked.

Again, I nodded.

He fell quiet for a moment. “Why?”

I took a deep breath, “Because you don’t feel the same.”

“How do you know?” He asked curtly.

“Because you never said anything,” I looked at him seriously, willing myself not to cry.

“You didn’t either,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t mean to anyway.” My eyes fell to look at the grass beneath me.

“You should have.”

I looked up at him, my eyes widened in surprise.

“I’m glad you told me. I may not be able to say it back, but I’m glad you finally said something. Drunk or not.” His smile was small and shy, but his dimples were evident.

I couldn’t help mimicking his expression. “So what does that mean?” My tone was hopeful.

He leaned back on his palms, stretching his legs out in front of him. “It means I want to give it a shot.”

“A shot?” I tilted my head coyly.

“Let’s start with a date.” He nodded decisively. “Next Saturday. We don’t have classes. Let’s get dinner.”

My brows knitted together. “Why do you want to go out with me?”

He smiled again. “Because I like you, too.”

My stomach erupted in butterflies. It wasn’t love, but it was something. That’s enough for now.

“Saturday it is.”

[jercythesiscrying]

Bro? Bro. | TanaNoya, Gen, T, 700+

NaNoWriMo Day 27: Imagine Your (Br)OTP

Summary: Just guys being dudes. TanaNoya shenanigans abound. Inspired by this post. Meant to be gen but feel free to see it as slash looooool  XD

WARNING: The slightest of manga spoilers after the Shiratorizawa match, but it's out of context so hopefully it’s okay  /o\  Rated because...............memes.

Read on Ao3

A/N: This is incredibly un-beta’d  /o\  Links embedded go to the pic source, which I unfortunately could not find for all the pictures because my friends send these to me unsolicited.

Shout out to the Parn Chat for the memes (unsolicited they may be) and idea throwing!! I wouldn't trade y'all for the world lol<3

Sunday

From: noya-san!! || 2:38am WATS UP U SHITPOST LOVIGN FCUK

From: noya-san!! || 2:38am (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 2:57am bro its 3am

From: noya-san!! || 3:00am RYUU I FOUND A GOLDMINE

From: noya-san!! || 3:00am U CANT STOP ME

From: noya-san!! || 3:00am (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 3:01am omg

From: RYUU!! || 3:01am here comes the meme loving asshole

From: RYUU!! || 3:02am go 2 sleep noya

From: noya-san!! || 3:05am SLEEP IS 4 THE WEEK

From: RYUU!! || 3:06am im turnin off my phone b y e

From: noya-san!! || 3:06am (Image attached)

From: noya-san!! || 3:07am (Image attached)

From: noya-san!! || 3:08am (Image attached)

[Cut for length]

From: noya-san!! || 5:43am ENJOY TEH MEMES WHEN U WAKE UP RYUU

From: noya-san!! || 8:01am [100+ unread messages]

From: RYUU!! || 8:01am jfc

Monday (Lunch Period)

From: noya-san!! || 11:39pm (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 11:41pm i want that poster in the club room

From: RYUU!! || 11:41pm lets ask dai-san if we can put 1

From: noya-san!! || 11:42pm YES!!!

From: RYUU!! || 11:42pm YEET

Wednesday (After Practice)

From: RYUU!! || 7:33pm i asked kiyoko-san if i could help her during club

From: RYUU!! || 7:33pm she said no

From: RYUU!! || 7:33pm it was amazing dude

From: noya-san!! || 7:38pm RYUU FUCKIN SWEET!!!!!!!

From: RYUU!! || 7:44pm (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 7:44pm change my mind

From: noya-san!! || 7:51pm WONT BOTHER

From: noya-san!! || 7:51pm UR RITE

Friday (After the Wig Incident)

From: RYUU!! || 11:10am LMAO #TOUPEE IS TRENDING IN KARASUNO WTF

From: noya-san!! || 11:11am ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

From: RYUU!! || 11:15am U DIDNT

From: noya-san!! || 11:15am I DID

From: RYUU!! || 11:29am omfg dai-sans gna kill u

From: RYUU!! || 11:30am hes been pissed all mornign since he saw lol

From: noya-san!! || 11:30am ryuu.....bro................

From: noya-san!! || 11:31am how fukked am i

From: RYUU!! || 11:34am dunno bruh

From: noya-san!! || 11:35am dont say anythng til daichi graduates

From: noya-san!! || 11:35am 4 the sake of my survival

From: RYUU!! || 11:36am i got u noya-san

Saturday

From: RYUU!! || 6:09pm ┏┓ ┃┃╱╲In this ┃╱╱╲╲house ╱╱╭╮╲╲we love ▔▏┗┛▕▔& appreciate ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ Rolling Thunder ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

From: noya-san!! || 6:11pm bro

From: noya-san!! || 6:11pm thats the most beutiful thing ever

From: noya-san!! || 6:11pm im gna cry

Tuesday (Lunch Period)

From: noya-san!! || 12:34pm (Image attached)

From: noya-san!! || 12:34pm an absolute unit

From: RYUU!! || 12:37pm bro thats just asahi-san

From: noya-san!! || 12:45pm but hes still a unit

From: noya-san!! || 12:49pm (Image attached)

From: noya-san!! || 12:49pm am i wrong????

From: RYUU!! || 12:51pm ok u rite

Thursday

From: noya-san!! || 10:19pm (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 10:39pm wtf lol

From: RYUU!! || 10:43pm FUK U I JUST SAW THE MIRROR

From: noya-san!! || 10:44pm GOT EEM

From: RYUU!! || 10:48pm dude where do u find all these memes

From: noya-san!! || 10:49pm i cant tell u

From: RYUU!! || 10:50pm why??

From: noya-san!! || 10:51pm u wont need me anymore

From: RYUU!! || 10:52pm not tru noya-san!!!

From: RYUU!! || 10:54pm always gna need my best bro even if i hve his meme supplier

From: noya-san!! || 10:55pm BRO!!!

From: noya-san!! || 10:59pm but im still not givng u my source

From: RYUU!! || 11:00pm DAMMIT

Sunday (Before an Exam)

From: RYUU!! || 1:23am (Image attached)

From: RYUU!! || 1:23am me tmr

From: noya-san!! || 1:25am NOOOOO RYUUUUUUUUUU

From: noya-san!! || 1:25am U GOT THID

From: RYUU!! || 1:27am NOYA-SAN!!!

From: noya-san!! || 1:27am RYUU!!!!

From: RYUU!! || 1:28am NOYA-SAAAAN!!!

From: noya-san!! || 1:28am RYUUUUUUU!!!!

From: noya-san!! || 1:28am WRE GNA CRUSH THE EXAM

From: RYUU!! || 1:29am FUCk  YEA WE WILL!!!

From: noya-san!! || 1:30am THATS THE SPIRIT DUDE!!!!!!!!

(They do not crush the exam. They do, however, barely pass, which is still a win in their minds.)

(More notes on Ao3.)

[fightingorcavingintodepression]

1/16/17 5:17 pm

I had my first panic attack I've had in a long time. I've gotten so bad at work my manager called me at 10AM and left a voicemail. I called him back and said I had a Doctors appointment and forgot to send out an email to the team. I hate lying, but i can’t realistically say I'm suicidal and won't even get out of bed every morning.

I ran to the bathroom and started dry-heaving for a good 2-3 minutes. Then I laid down on my bed and felt like crying, and then Stayed there for nearly another hour.

Kill me.

1/20/17

I'm eating lunch by myself at 3:06 on Friday. I've only hit myself a few times today. I ordered and shipped a present to Shara and it should get there tomorI'mrow, but today is her birthday. I deleted my Facebook and haven't been posting on tumblr, so I'm avoiding everything. I feel guilty and don't know what to do. I'm going to stop typing because I'm tearing up in the restaurant. I'm pushing all of my friends away. I saw Selina last weekend and it was so awkward. I can't even hang out with my best friend without it being awkward. I want to kill myself.

Please let me die in an accident.

10:56 pm I want to keep hitting myself until I don't wake up.

1/25/17 Wednesday 11:39pm

I'm at McDonald's getting a milkshake and food. I've "worked" from home the past three days because I don't wake up till 9 or 10. That's a lie, I'll wake up and hit snooze, but won't force myself into up. On Monday I stayed online till 11:30 and then said o had a doctors appointment and was gong to wfh the rest of the day, but the last two days I haven't even sent anything out. I deserve to get fired. My depression is destroying me.

1/26/17 Thursday 2:30pm

I woke up late at 8:50ish and got online. Did the scheduled work for Austin and once that was finished, drove into the office and got in at about 10:30 (I think). I ate lunch at my desk and I've gone back and forth to the bathroom and just sat. Only work I've done today is finally send an email I've needed to for weeks. Mom asked me to call her at lunch and I finally said I didn't really want to celebrate my birthday. I told her I'd decide on a weekend and give her a call tonight, but I'm not sure I can. It's now 2:48. I've been in the bathroom almost 20 minutes.

2/16 4:29pm

I woke up at 3:30 am and stayed awake, but then fell asleep and didn't get online from home until about 9:40. Came into the office about 12:40. I've done maybe an hours worth of work. I really hate myself. When driving into work nearly had an accident from someone driving recklessly and me not just letting them pass me. They cut to my right into a lane for cars getting on and drove on the side of the road to pass me since I didn't slow down. The driver even had people (possibly kids) in the back of their car. I hate myself, but that person as well if they can justify that type of driving that also may harm their own kids, let alone other people. I started yelling again in my car...it's getting worse.

I hit myself again this morning in the shower.

2/17 12:18am

I can see myself committing suicide within the next year. Depending if I don't get better, maybe not till after my parents pass.

2/20 12:33pm

I didn't get up again today (Monday) until 9:50 and log online. Then finally came in to the office about 10 minutes ago. Off to a bad start of the week. I should be fired. I did "clean" a good portion of my apartment yesterday because at&t suppose to be coming this week. It's still a terrible mess, but you can finally see the floor now. Next is the kitchen.

1:04pm - eating lunch by myself at wich which. Postponing going back to the office. Not sure if taking these notes is beneficial, or even a smart idea (hint, it's not)

2/21 12:31pm

Late again. Thinking of working from home tomorrow. Getting worse. Really worse. Spent too much money yesterday on gifts I'll probably never give.

2/24 11:52am

It's my birthday. Today hasn't been a bad day.

2/28 12:15 pm

In training. Feeling useless. My back is also killing me. Have my APA later today. Guess I'll find out how badly I'm doing or if we'll just pretend I'm doing fine when it's obvious I'm not. Not likely I'll get fired since I'm an ITA, but don't know. Just haven't been given a warning or anything

3/13 12:48pm

I'd been doing okay for a little while. Starting to get worse again. Started saying things again. Didn't wake up for work till 9ish. Didn't get in till 11ish. Need to stop. Want to hurt myself. Want to kill myself. Fighting it. Still doing bad. In the bathroom wanting to hit myself. Shara texted about doing stuff this weekend, and I almost want to back out. I'm suppose to do Aerials with gabby tonight, but want to use my weight as an excuse and say I'm over their limit (which may actually be true, but their website doesn't say and no one picked up when I called), or that I don't have the right clothes, or I'm having a panic attack (probably closest to being honest). And one of the other things that's bugging me in the back of my head today I'm hating myself most of all for it even bothering me.

3/20 4:39am

Mild depression acting up. Want to "call/email" out of work. Smacking myself a bit the past day

3/22 6:14pm

Didn't go into work today and haven't done any work so far. Needing to get a report and presentation done before tomorrow. Depression has been really bad this week. Sleep is getting off. Whispering harmful things to myself and hitting myself more often.

3/24 10:44am

I want to hurt myself. I'm doing really badly this week. No point even coming into work. Can tell I'm being replaced in all areas. Went to lunch with people. Faked it. Now I'm back at the office (2:04pm) and hiding in the bathroom. I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I want to pass out.

I want to die.

3/25 5:02pm

Doing bad today too. Didn't get up till noon. Went to the park to walk, but had negative thoughts the entire time and it didn't help. Convinced myself to go out to dinner at Las Margaritas that I normally get take out from. I plan to make myself sit in the living room when I get home to get out of my bedroom/bed. It feels pathetic, but right now the smallest things feel like an achievement.

3/27 1:41am

I want to kill myself. I just want it to end. I don't want to hurt my family though. I wish I could make them forget i existed so I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

3:06am still lying awake on the couch. The longer I stay awake, the longer I postpone till tomorrow comes.....or that's how it feels. Ready to kill myself.

3/30 8pm

I now weigh 245 pounds. I write this as I sit in line at chick fil-a getting a meal for two people and a milkshake

3/31 6:38

Deleted all of my social media. Specifically tumblr, which I can't reactive. Gone forever.

4/6 1:12pm

Was doing better for a bit because work was busy enough to distract me. Getting too busy now. Think I overheard two people saying they don't want to work with me, and storage team disregards my existence. It's a new feeling when I feel like I'm doing some good work, but know I'm also doing terrible in other areas and people no longer want to work with me. Hitting hard and really want to hurt myself again. I need to make some life choices before I end up committing suicide.

4/7 1:36pm

It might be good to just quit before June. If I sold everything I had, I could pay off all my debt. I'd be left with nothing, but wouldn't leave anything for people to worry about.

4/17 10:21am

So overwhelmed.

4/19 9:08am

Sitting on toilet at home. So overwhelmed at work. Can't get anything done and nothing is going right.

6/1 11:02am Thursday

Hadn't been in the office in almost a week. Had Friday off and Monday for Memorial Day, but lied and said Tom had knee surgery on Tuesday and then wfh on Wednesday. Getting bad again. Realized I hadn't been writing in here for a month and a half. Not sure if that's a good win or not, since I mostly only remember to when I'm getting bad again.

6/25 2:15am

Depression getting bad again. Suicide would be nice. Just want it all to end. If I could sleep for a year, I'd take it.

6/27 12:40pm

Didn't go into work until almost 11 yesterday. Working from home today. Can't even answer a phone call. Have a meeting at 2 and then will probably shower as unavailable the rest of the day.

6/28 3:06pm

Woke up at 5 and still didn't go into work today. Stayed showing as away all day and said I had issues with Skype and car issues

7/14 12:50pm

JB texted me asking if I was off. I should just kill myself. Lying through my teeth. His pa

7/18 3:28am Tuesday

I want to die in an accident so no one I care about thinks it was a suicide.

7/20 1:59pm

Didn't go into work until 12 today. While I was in the shower, my phone range and I just started cursing thinking it was my manager. Already had my lie made up going to say my car stalled this morning coming into work. Didn't have my phone (which is why I didn't pick up if it was them), but luckily a cop pulled over and called a tow truck....

Haven't had to use my lie yet, but going to use parts of it tonight to get out of going to a coworkers house for game night.

I really hate myself.

I need to call in my medicine to see if they'll prescribe it again, even if it doesn't seem like it's helping.

7/31 9:04pm

In line at Taco Bell. Didn't go into work today or Friday. Meant to send an email saying I was taking my mom to doctors and would be back Tuesday, but overslept and didn't bother. Don't want to go in tomorrow either. I haven't been replying to Shara and I feel terrible, but I'm not in a good place either. Hadn't been replying to family until Mom called worried and acted like I just forgot to hit send on some texts. It's easier to act like nothing is wrong with people who don't know I'm not good mentally. I saw a post on Tumblr that describe what I'm feeling. I'm pushing people away so it's easier when I want to kill myself.

9/5 11:42am

Moved to new apartment. Enjoying it so far. Had a 5 day weekend from labor/took Thursday and Friday off to move. 1st day back at work and already feeling overwhelmed and counting down till 4:30. Kill myself creeping inside my head again.

9/21 10:02am

Want to die. Want to die. I just really want to die. Kill myself. Kill myself. I'm so tempted to kill myself. I'd make it look like an accident so not to hurt my family. But I need to find homes for Yen and Shani, or plan accordingly. Could drop them at a shelter, but include some cash to help care for them (1k?). Then someone who is a good person, but just had money trouble would take them. I'm not sure I'll live 15+ years to outlive them. I take that back; I know I won't. I don't even know sometimes if I'll make it to tomorrow. I'm not actually making any attempts or plans to do it, but every time I walk in to work or leave, I hope a car hits me. Kill me kill me I just want to die.

10/18 9:52am

Overslept and didn't go into work today. "Working" from home online. Depression episode kicking in again. I just want to die.

10/31 Tuesday 12:02pm

Didn't get into work until 11 today. Called into the 8:30 conference and answered some emails to appear like I was working, but hardly got out of bed. ~Read back through some of these notes just now and now I've got in the back of my head the idea of starting to hit myself again. I know this is a downward slope, but really want to go to the bathroom stall and do it anyways just so I don't feel numb. It's lunchtime, so no one should be there to hear it. ~~I ended up going to get rubber bands and paper clips instead. Still hit myself s few times, but people kept coming into the restroom while I was in the stall.~

11/1 2:16 pm

In drivethru for chick-fil-a. Working from home rest of week probably. My anger is terrible. Called someone a cunt in the drivethru for honking and it wasn't even at me. My window was down, so think the person in front of me may have heard. I'm a terrible person and hate myself.

11/16 9:14am Thursday

Just got into work. Feel exhausted and drained as always. Just noticed it’s coming up on a year in January when I started making these notes. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing better or not. I’d say I’m not. Definitely not.

12/5/17 2:36pm

It’s a Tuesday, and I’d not been in the office for two weeks (11/21) between workin from home on Wednesday because thanksgiving was the next day, off Thursday and Friday, and then all last week I just never came in. Yesterday I “worked” from home, and today I didn’t get in till about 12. And the only thing I wanted to think about while walking into work because I forgot my headphones and couldn’t drown out the thoughts with music was how I wanted to kill myself. I have a meeting from 3-4 with new agile team (honestly probably only real reason I forced myself into the office). I wonder how fake I can present myself today. Hopefully it won’t be terribly interactive and mostly just informational.

1/14/18 11:27pm

I didn’t go into work at all last week. Was online only Monday for the entire day, and then Wednesday for the day on do-not-disturb. Skipped Tuesday and Wednesday completely though. Need to force myself to go into the office tomorrow. I hate myself. So much to catch up on. I cleaned a bit of the apartment, but still need to do more. My oncall starts next week, and I pray it’s quiet.

1/22/18 3:10am

Won’t go to bed because then the morning comes faster. I’m oncall this week and I just pray nothing happens at all. Even one ticket. Please don’t. I think I have an appointment this Friday about my antidepressants, but honestly I’m not sure. Please let me be left alone this week and work from home. I’ll even make sure I get work done.

1/23/18 12:30am

I’m pathetic at work.

2/4/18 6:43pm Sunday

Out grocery shopping. Tried to do small talk. Wanted to help bag like I do sometimes, but not doing well, so just awkwardly typing this on my phone. I HAVE to get work done when I get home, but haven’t been doing well. I’ll be lucky if I get anything done or I do it in the middle of the night (especially with my sleep schedule).

2/5/18 11:52am

Didn’t get anything done last night, but was able to wake up early and get it submitted by 8 (only one other person has anything uploaded so far). What pisses me off is another teammate setup a meeting at 2 with no heads up. That little amount of time and a same day meeting? Fuck that shit. I’ll attend, but doubt John will and don’t blame him. I said I was going to the doctor earlier, so purposely missed the one actual meeting I had today. Couldn’t get out of bed. Hate myself. Submitted a service request for the lights to be fixed in my apartment, so that’s the one useful thing I’ve done. I was wrong, John did accept. I hate myself.

5/7/18 Monday 8:59am

On the train in to work. Only going in for the ITA orientation and then probably leaving. Probably will stay an hour to get hibachi for lunch and then leave. I’m oncall this week. Please please please don’t have any tickets or sde’s after hours. Please god. Just this once. I’ve been doing so well with my depression, but the last week and a half it’s been dipping again and I’m afraid. On the chart at my therapy office, id finally for the first time dipped below the number for being depressed! I know I’ll always have depression and depression slumps, but it’s scary going back into my first one after doing well for almost two months. I don’t want to go back into that. I really don’t. Please just don’t have my oncall this week go badly. Dear god, just please don’t. I don’t want to breakdown in tears from anxiety this week. Make my next oncall worse, but just let me not have to worry about anything this week. Please.

5/7/18 Monday 11:21am

Doing better mentally once I got in the office and moving. It’s sad how easily that change can happen. You’d think I’d be happy, but just makes me realize how easily I can drop again. Part of me knows I could stay at the office and continue working, but the other half doesn’t care. I’m eating hibachi and then taking the train home.

5/10/18 1:02pm

Finishing up lunch at hisaki and then going into office. Have to recount all of the WebLogic VM counts manually.....

All the work before I did is basically useless.

Time to go through 400+ (maybe less since a good number are in the shared environment) and find out their host count. I shouldn’t really be complaining. Just didn’t want to have to do/worry about anything till after my vacation.

Now it’s 1:32 and I’m sitting in the toilet just waiting for the day to end. Shoot myself shoot my self I just want to shoot my self.

5/23 5:12pm

Felt sick the past few days. Worked from home. Throat is killing me, but in line at McDonald’s and going to get

5/25 Friday 11:27am

Hardly worked at all this week. Ignored a voicemail to call back my PO. Work is frustrating me.

I just hit myself for the first time in a long time again. Chest, face, head. It felt good

5:57pm clenching my fists in drive through. Want to hurt myself

5/28 Monday 2:04pm Memorial Day off work

At the bbq place getting Togo food. Been in bed all day/all weekend really. Felt sick, but also depressed. Stomach was so upset, didn’t take antidepressants yesterday. Going to take them for today when I get back. Still, I’ve not been doing well at all. Hitting myself more. Mainly the chest. May even do it on the way home. Just feeling numb again. Started reblogging suicidal/depression posts on tumblr again. It’s pathetic. Like a cry for help to the two I know who are on tumblr, but one never acknowledges them, and the other rarely gets on anymore. I have therapy this Friday (o think?) and have no improvement to speak of to the doctor. Overslept one from depression, but rescheduled the last one due to work issues. Slit my throat. Want to die. Let it end. Started singing those little tunes to myself the last week or two. Want to hurt myself. Really just want to drop dead from an accident. Get someone to take care of my cats, and then my family won’t think it’s a suicide.

6/12 10:59am Tuesday

Sitting at train station going into work. Just got back from surgery follow up and everything is fine. Spent maybe 10 minutes there in total. Now I’m going into work to eat my unhealthy lunch hibachi chicken and soda as always. I’m sad all the team. I have an in person meeting from 2-2:50, but will probably leave after that. Unless I ask Carter if he needed help with patching and he says yes, which is why I’m considering if I even should?? Wow, that’s pathetic of me. I only have to make it till EOD Thursday. Then I’ll watch Lily for the weekend, have my therapy session on Friday, and (maybe?) visit Mom and Tom on Sunday.

6/24 Monday 10:46am

I may barely make it into the office for an 11am meeting. This isn’t going to be a good week.

7/3 Tuesday 6:11pm

I missed my medicine twice in the last week (I think? Or only once). But just don’t care to take it anymore since I’ve noticed

7/9 Monday 12:15am

This isn’t gonna be a good week. I can already tell.

7/22 Sunday 1am

Doing patching. Teammates were being fucking useless, so I got offline and said I was having internet issues. It’s been a fucking hour and they’ve not done shit. The job is still hung exactly where it was when I left off. They’ve not tried to do anything at all. There are two more groups that have to run for Linux, and we’re already 2/3 hours of patching there is from 11-2am. Cancel the ticking job you dipshits. I even sent an email basically telling you to!!! I did all the ducking work for you!!! Instead you just sit there for an hour doing nothing!!! Cancel the fucking job!! If it gets to 1:30am and still nothing, I’m sending a follow up email and ccing myself. I’m not even suppose to be in charge here!! They are!!! At least Brandon should be. Daniel is ridiculously new, but clearly knows more, so make the ticking call too, for fuck sake.

- they finally did when I was typing this all out. And of course it was the new kid, not the guy who is a full time employee who should be making the call. Then again, I’m a waste of space too. Just got fed up with them and quit with a bullshit excuse. I’m trash. Now that I’ve calmed down, I hate myself again.

Thursday 7/26 2:54pm

First time I’ve been in the office I think nearing 3 weeks? I’ve not been taking my antidepressants as consistently. So tired all the time. Hardly get out of bed. Didn’t go to therapy last week. I need to call tomorrow to cancel next weeks too unless it’s early in the morning. And also schedule more since I don’t have any after that. And also reschedule one on a different day for my medicine.

Just got off my 3pm call. PO wasn’t there, so I basically lead. Talked for like 5 fucking minutes before my team lead said they’ve been doing it manually the last 4 days. So basically I’m a fucking idiot and out of the loop. I’m definitely not Sr IT analyst ready. I’m just gonna leave work. I hate myself. Put myself on do not disturb and closed my laptop. Ran and caught the train. I’m so ducking fat and out of shape. I should just go skydiving by myself and not pull the parachute. Quick and easy. Could I do it in a body bag so it’s less of a mess for the people who have to clean it up? Sky dive, pull the bag out midair. Put it on and zip it up. Splat. Done. Kaput. 😊

How many weeks vacation do I have? Just use it all at once and disappear. Then when it’s up I just never come back. I wanna jump in front of a car or train, but not okay with the impact it’d have on the person driving. If I jump off mountain, the only person it might hurt is the people who found me? Plus annoy the people who have to clean me up.

Could have a suicide note and send it in so the police can find me easily? Idk. Can’t do anything till my cats are okay.

8/14/18 Tuesday 10:19am

On the train to work. Only going in to have an in person meeting. Didn’t wake up till 9:20 and only jumped up because of the daily Standup call at 9:30. Have patching this week and next. Alex is out the rest of the week, so I’m in charge of Windows....never done it by myself, yet alone enough with someone else to be confident. Need to send out the email as soon as we get Tom’s email tomorrow. Get the jobs running and finish documentation. I think Wednesday only has noreboot servers and is a small window? Hopefully okay.

I’ve not been taking my medication. Haven’t been to the doctors in really long (therapy/antidepressant doctor). I have roughly 35 days to get in better shape/health/mental state before going to Samantha’s to see Welcome to Nightvale. Will it happen? No idea.

Still on the train. 10:27. I feel so num. no emotion at all.

5:49pm - on the train home from work. Got a lot done today, so feel somewhat decent. If I can bury my head in work and actually get stuff done, I won’t notice my depression sometimes.

9/5 Wednesday 10:51 am

Have a big kickoff meeting I’m leading. Has a shit ton of people in it. Don’t feel confident. Stomach is nauseated. Want to hurt myself too. Get it over with. Cut my throat. Let me die. Die die die die.

9/20 Thursday 11:05am

Have barely worked the last week since the hurricane hit and we’re in storm mode. Had my first “shift” start at 6 this morning, and I was the only one in the room. Was a good thing I came in to the office. Actually got some stuff done. Just really tired since I couldn’t get to sleep till 2:30 or 3, and got up at 4:22. Going home right at 2. Today hasn’t been bad, but I’m exhausted and sad at myself for being so fat and out of shape.

Animal crossing

Love Nicky

Clash royal

Good fantasy

9/26 11:53am

On train into work. Have two in-person meetings this afternoon. I regret volunteering to do the ITA stuff. Just added stress with no good outcome. My stomach hurts too. Don’t know if something actually wrong, or just anxiety of everything with work, deciding to go to the BigFix event tomorrow during work hours, and text Samantha lying I can’t come to the show. Too many lies happening at once due to my anxiety. I guess I do have anxiety. My depression making my life difficult makes me have anxiety. God my stomach hurts. Kill me kill me I want to die. Slit my throat just want to die. Just disappear I just want to disappear. First steps I need to take today to help fix my anxiety

1. Call and reschedule therapy as soon as I get off train DONE

2. Talk to Cathy and then John about change freeze issue with Websphere maintenance. Then get communications out. SENT AN EMAIL

3. Prep documentation for ITA meeting at 3. WORKING ON

4. Plan what time to leave tomorrow

5. Text Samantha for details (address, what time I should get there, etc)

6. Plan to drive home after show

Die die die die die die di die die die die die kill me

10/3 Wednesday 2:51pm

I’ve not been into work since last Wednesday, and hardly online all this week. Finally got a text from manager this morning asking what’s up. Ready to kill my self.

10/4 Thursday 1:24pm

On the train into work for a 2pm meeting I’m hosting. I may barely make it in. Barely. Or I’ll be late. Shocker. I’m useless. I look and feel disgusting. Literally just need to know if Cathy will fight if we have to push the qa and prod environment during a change freeze. If not, what will happen if we have pushed test and dev, but can’t push prod/qa for months?? I highly doubt that’s okay.

11/1/2018 Thursday 1:12pm

Waiting for the train. Overslept for therapy and then an important meeting I said I’d be late for, but not miss the entire fucking thing. I’ve pretty much given up on therapy for now. Doesn’t make a difference, and won’t get another appointment for 2-3 months, if they’d even give me one with how many no-shows I’ve done. My stomach acid is killing me.

Have meeting. Schedule jobs for 5. Go eat hibachi. Take train home. Meeting is at 2. Doubt chuck will be there. Cathy may call in or not. Literally just depends if John/srini at there. If not, will be over in 10 minutes. If they are, just keep chugging along with Websphere (need to plan how to do QA and PROD along side OS patching.

QA

Wednesday - do it right after patching for Linux/aix. Try and include windows in the patching, or same scenario.

Do we think it’s worth doing adc/cdc groups still? Or just all at once?

Thursday - Linux/aix I do manually (hit B & C right at 5, and then A when it finishes)

11/29 Thursday 9:25am

Going into the office. I’m just really sad. I’m up to 283lbs without any clothes on. I’m working nights now with patching at work. I’m rude to the point that I don’t even move my bag on the train. It’s just all really sad. It’s not bad enough I’m hurting myself or suicidal thoughts, but I’ve just been emotionally numb. I quit taking my medicine for about a week or two, but then noticed an increase in anger, so started taking them again.

12/18 Tuesday 3:39pm

Sitting at a jimmy johns nears my apartment eating. On vacation from work, and watching Lily till Thursday, but I’ve had to be online some because patching still isn’t being covered by the EDC, even though Matt apparently was handling it but clearly didn’t? I’ll be up anyways, so I’m not mad mad, but more just annoyed, because I’m not doing this come January. Pretty depressed though. Sleeping all the time. I weigh over 285lbs now. Maybe I’ll die from a heart attack in 2019? I’ve not been taking my medicine lately, but I’ll run out soon anyways unless I schedule an appointment with my doctor. Definitely see my anger spiking some when I’m not on it while driving or the sorts. Last Friday I went into work and ran into my manager(s) which was good. Talked some, and mentioned about the possibility of moving to Durham. Would be okay, but did mention Charlotte is better career wise, which is true (but I’m okay with that?). I’m just sad all the time still. Apartment is a mess almost always, which isn’t good for the cats. I hardly ever clean their litter boxes, and it’s disgusting for them. Which reminds me I have to take them to the vet. I should call when I get back to schedule something and also clean their litter boxes before anything else.

2/18 10:02am

On my way into work to train one guy on patching, even though I’ll probably be the one having to do it the rest of the week. Was in an accident yesterday. Car hit me from behind. Surprisingly still shaken from it. I’m pathetic. Have to call insurance today since they said they were closed yesterday. Hopefully it’s just visual damage. The bumper popped off a bit, but I don’t know if it can just be popped back into place. I know nothing about cars. Other persons was much worse, but no one was hurt at least. I wish I was hurt. Just kill me. Be done with it all.

Work is never ending stress, this fucking house is too. AND I JUST REMEMBERED IM ON-CALL ALL THIS WEEK FFS. Please let it be quiet. I’m begging you. With all the SDE’s and ongoing stuff, don’t let there be anything for me. Slit my throat.

2/20 Wednesday 2:04pm

Sitting at a car body repair shop getting an estimate by Statefarm. Hopefully should be fine. Work is stressing me out. House is too. I’m responsible for getting the WebLogic patching done, but it’s all up to Srini looking at the problem servers. It’s not fair to him as I’m sure he’s swamped, but he’s the only one who can fix it. Also that one guy who sent that needs to go fuck himself. Passive aggressive fuck. Then with the house. They finally responded saying they want their roofer to take a look, which is fine. Just don’t come back and argue you’re not doing anything. I’m so done with that shit. Just offer to pay half and be done with it. Then my mental health is just terrible. Want to hurt myself. When I get home may take a butter knife or something and hurt myself. Cut my throat. Not even going into the office tomorrow even though I said I would. Fuck Friday. Please be a quiet oncall week. I’m beginning you, just like I do ever time I’m oncall. It’s pathetic. Wish I had cancer instead of Tom. Let me die instead of him. Mom needs him. Just let me die.

It’s Wednesday. Need to make it through the weekend. “Work day” just tomorrow. Have other work to do, but I’m not as worried about the after hour work for IE9 IE11 and office 2010 SP2. Slit my throat slit my throat

[katealexandra26]

Turning the Page (8/?)

Summary: After several long years, Emma and Killian are finally getting the second chance they thought was beyond reach. At the same, Henry Mills is still struggling to find his own story while beloved family members live out theirs. Belief and hope guiding him, he leans on his other mother, Regina, and another version of his stepfather, Captain Hook, to help him write his next chapter. And someday he’ll return home to share his epic tale with the rest of his Charming family.

Rating: Mature (for now)

Catch up here: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7

Also on: ao3 | ff.net

Author’s Note: I’m sorry it’s been so long. I finally finished my CSLB story and artwork and until my posting date, I’d like to get caught up with my many WIP, starting here. This was not betaed. Smut below the cut. Enjoy!

Emma awoke the next morning feeling sore and still incredibly tired. She looked at the clock on her bedside table and groaned softly. It was only 4:28am, too damn dark outside yet to be awake. If that wasn’t clue enough, her husband was still asleep behind her. He rarely sleep in, though after the last few days Emma could hardly blame him if he did.

“Love, go back to sleep,” Killian mumbled sleepily, pulling her body flush against his.

“Okay,” she conceded, closing her eyes and finding comfort in his warm embrace.

Emma moaned again and quickly found herself on her back. Killian kissed her hip and parted her legs. Killian ghosted several kisses on her thighs, smiling at her when he glanced up. Killian laughed at the anger and annoyance that were probably radiating from her gaze. Emma had had enough.

“Killian, enough foreplay! I just need you to fuck me,” Emma begged, not caring how desperate she sounded. She really needed this. They both did. Killian swore under his breath and sheathed himself in her cunt in one swift movement. “Oooohhh, you feel so wonderful but I saw to God if you don’t move, I’ll make you regret it,” Emma hissed, the need to be fucked trumping all else.

“As you wish.” The words still managed to send a chill down her spine after all these years. Killian’s sudden thrusting pushed the air from her lungs. She gasped loudly as he thrust again and again, harder each time. She knew this wouldn’t last very long, but that wasn’t the point. She was so goddamn horny these days she just needed to get off.

Killian’s hand and blunt wrist held her steady, pulling her body to his as he thrust. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, his eyes kept falling closed and Emma knew he was close.

“I need more,” she pleaded, knowing he wouldn’t leave her behind. He shifted slightly and pressed his blunted wrist against her clit, circling recklessly, the pressure and the thrusts sending Emma crashing over the edge.

“Emma!” Killian cried out, spilling his seed into her. Killian collapsed and rolled to their sides before separating from her body.

Emma sighed as she curled against Killian’s side. “Better, love?”

Before she could give and answer, her stomach growled loudly. Emma laughed before getting up to pee. “I will be better once I eat. Eating for two, remember?”

Killian fell back against the pillow as Emma closed the door. Emma emerged a few minutes later to find the bedroom deserted. The soft clatter of objects in their kitchen was confirmation that her husband was working to honor her request for food. Emma had to say even after all this time together, it still made her stomach flutter that he wanted to take care of her. Not just in protecting her from whatever villain graced the town, but in little ways.

Emma decided that she’d give him time to make the food before she went downstairs. She turned on her heels and went back into the bathroom.

Turning the shower knob to as hot as she could stand, she gave it a few moments to get to temperature. Emma starred in the mirror. The gentle swell that was visible without her clothing was exciting. Part of her brain told her she shouldn’t be so excited, but she squashed it. Emma jumped into the shower, sighing as the hot water washed over her. After several minutes of just standing under the hot spray, Emma grabbed a washed cloth and set about scrubbing herself clean. Emma used a large amount of shampoo since she hadn’t cleaned her hair in days.

The water started to lose its heat so Emma hurried rinse her hair. Turning off the water, Emma grabbed a towel from the rack beside the shower and toweled herself dry. Within less than five minutes, she had brushed her hair into a messy knot, applied a little bit of makeup and brushed her teeth. Returning to the bedroom she picked out a comfy pair of pajamas and a clean pair of socks. She could smell food downstairs, to the relief of her empty stomach, so as soon as she was dressed she made her way downstairs excited for the vast array of food her husband had no doubt prepared.

To be continued…

tagging some folks who asked to be tagged, liked this story or those whom I believe will (if you want to be tagged/untagged just ask):

@haunted-nymph, @greenleaf777, @x-prettybird-x, @electria1, @love-with-you-i-have-everything, @alys07, @stina-g, @captainpoe, @caoimhejm, @iacobdiana2000, @anaztaziya, @lindseythompsonxoxo, @rubyrose82, @onceuponaswans, @flyflyangel, @feigninghapiness, @andiirivera, @teamhook, @atlanticstardust, @noneplus5cups, @fleurreads, @lenfazreads, @lenfaz, @klar425, @deathbycaptainswan, @timeless-love-story, @galadriel26, @a-little-squirrely-sunshine, @liketenerifesea, @snowbellewells, @spartanguard, @kmomof4, @optomisticgirl, @woofiefangirl, @sambethe, @bethacaciakay, @xhookswenchx, @disneylady21, @lanacorde, @pinkbonesforeverblog, @sherifffjones, @mr-and-mrs-killian-jones, @whimsicallyenchantedrose, @flslp87, @blessed-but-distressed, @apirateandaswan, @alittlepirateinyouswan, @littleangryperson, @mez86, @ohmakemeahercules, @onceuponaswans, @acaptainswaneternity, @adhara01, @fictional-redheads, @awesomefearless86-blog, @captainmorningstar, @cinnamonduckling, @distant-rose, @polarbearmorgan, @technicallysizzlingcloud

[devilmaycry5]

What are your fave silly headcanons you have for the dmc cast?

Sorry for the late reply I had to write them all down! These area REALLY dumb. Tbh i just think of the DMC crew as an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode 

Perrie’s dumb Devil May Cry headcannons

None of these assholes can cook, except for Nero and Lady. Those two basically had to raise themselves so they know what they’re doing.

Vergil’s clapbacks are insane. Like he leaves everyone speechless. Dante- “I treat my body like a temple.” Vergil - “Yeah open to everyone, day and night.”

If a gate is locked Dante would climb over it rather than open the latch.

Nero loves Taco Bell. You can find him there at 1:45am eating crunchy tacos.

Vergil is so fucking hipster that this bitch would rather go to some random as coffee shop than step foot into name brand places like Starbucks and Peet’s coffee.

Trish shops at MAC a lot and always gets mistaken for an employee.

Patty records the stupid shit the dmc crew does and posts it on the internet where it becomes memes. “Guy in Red Coat eats 7 whole pizzas while sharpening giant sword shirtless.”

“I saw you hanging out with Dante the other day!” “Lady, it’s not what you think!”

Lady drinks Diet Mountain Dew.

Trish wears crocs at home. This gorgeous, tall model woman wears fucking crocs.

Vergil can be found at 3:18am in Denny’s eating pancakes and reading travel pamphlets and maps.

Trish gets her nails done only at NT Nails by Larry. She won’t let anyone else touch her hands.

Dante plays Africa by ToTo after missions.

Nero has an android. Someone get this kid an iPhone.

Dante doesn’t know how tf to use a computer, as well as a cellphone. “I’ll send you an email-” “A what.”

When stuff goes missing everyone blames Dante but Vergil’s the mf who steals everyone’s shit.

Dante once ate a whole can of Spaghetti-O’s. Raw. Straight out of the can.

Dante can be found sitting at 2:28am in a Walmart parking lot eating a strawberry flavored go-gurt.

Trish and Nero go on late night drives to burger joints. Sometimes Dante joins but makes them pay for him.

Vergil is super mysterious to everyone because he randomly disappears, but he’s actually somewhere where he can scream because he’s so fucking done with everything.

Lady and Dante were once trying to buy some demonic item so they go this alley to meet the merchant and they met with the wrong guy and ended up accidentally buying crack.

Trish can be found at 12:36am on the roof of a bar drinking straight vodka.

Vergil thrift shops, he likes to collect fancy coats, shoes, and shirts. But he acts like he only shops Gucci.

Dante steals a bunch of pool balls from bars because he constantly destroys all of his own.

Nero once road his motorcycle into a Panda Express drive through because he didn’t give a fuck. The employees were so intimidated they couldn’t say no.

Trish goes out during lightning storms and cackles and dance around.

Lady can be found at 11:57 inside a gas station buying Lime Hot Cheetos.

[thenotsolittlemisspeculiar]

(Draft) I Know That It Was All Up to Me and That I Ruined My Own Life (aka Official Transcript of Records and Being Required By Universities To Take That Damn New Curriculum That Further Delayed My Graduation for Two More Years) Due to My Fickle-Mindedness and Stupidity, but That Doesn't Mean I Can't Be Something That I Want

Posted: October 6, 2020 3:28am PHT

Edited: October 6, 2020 11:27am PHT

I'm very much aware that the main reason why I can't finish any other college courses (i.e. ❤ Nursing [my family and I want this], 💡 Information Technology [my parents wanted this], 💡 Radiologic Technology [my parents wanted this], and ❤ Communication [I want this and my parents don't but I got it]) that I started and wanted to take is because I'm too stupid aka "bobo" and "retarded" as respectively and seriously straight up referred to me by one classmate and one "friend" in high school.

But I can't believe there actually are a few people who are happy that I didn't become a registered nurse or at least get to finish nursing school. This is the reason why I hate saying my hopes, plans, and dreams when others keep on asking what I want to do with my life because 1) it "jinxes" everything, 2) we all tend to lose motivation when people prematurely praise us, 3) others want to compete with you, and 4) some bad people don't want to see you succeed.

I've always wondered why people in high school (and even people in college who asked me whether if I already have a job or what field I wanted to apply into after graduating with my first bachelor's degree) are so keenly interested in knowing what I wanted to take in college and where I'm going to study and then suggest me otherwise that I should take this or that such as Communication (several people in high school really wanted me to take this course and I also want it just as much as Nursing but, unfortunately, I can only choose one) or Culinary Arts or to become a flight attendant or a "model" (I know she was just being sarcastic 🙄😒) instead when I never asked anyone what they wanted. It's not because I'm too self-centered to care about others, but primarily because it's actually none of my fucking business and I'm not the one sending them to school. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[wineanddinosaur]

17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media

American whiskey is a tricky business. Staying in the know about bourbon, blends, and the wild West of American single malt is a challenge in normal times, and more so while we’re largely left to explore and share experiences inside. In these times, the best way to stay up to date with the latest whiskey releases and cultural tips is online.

Of course, following the right whiskey experts is key. That’s why VinePair consulted our whiskey-loving friends and experts throughout the spirits community to tell us who they’re following on Instagram and Twitter right now. From whiskey writers to bartenders, the individuals below each offer a unique perspective into the world of whiskey.

@thewhiskeyauthority

View this post on Instagram

Have you heard? Whiskey School is in session!!! New class up this week. Learn about the power you have to move worlds with your dollars, guess how much the North American Alcohol market is worth, and for how long we’ve been socializing around CH-3-CH2-OH. #whiskeysdistilled #theshiskeyauthority #milamandgreene #bourbon #bourbonwomen #rye #olfaction #expert … … … #whiskey #whisky #womeninbusiness #ceolife #money #power #knowledgeispower #texashillcountry #texas

A post shared by Heather Greene (@thewhiskeyauthority) on Apr 14, 2020 at 5:54pm PDT

Heather Greene is serious about whiskey. Not only is she the CEO of Provision Spirits, she’s also the author of “Whiskey Distilled,” and a judge for the American Craft Spirits Association and the International Wine & Spirit Competition. She takes to her Instagram account to post educational videos and gorgeous shots of the spirit.

@bourbonpursuit

View this post on Instagram

Just a boy and his barrels. We posted a huge update on @pursuitspirits to our Patreon community. Lots of great whiskey to share with you all. And we want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased a bottle. Your support is helping us build the next great whiskey company. . . #bourbon #whiskey #podcast #bourbonpursuit #pursuitseries #pursuitspirits

A post shared by Bourbon Pursuit (@bourbonpursuit) on Aug 11, 2020 at 12:17pm PDT

The self-proclaimed “official podcast of bourbon,” Bourbon Pursuit is the podcast that industry experts can’t get enough of. The podcast, run by Louisville, Ky.-based Kenny Coleman — as well as its affiliated Instagram account — have loyal followings. And it’s clear why: From “quickie” whiskey reviews, to interviews with whiskey pros such as Peggy Noe Stevens, the first-ever woman Master Taster, this podcast has something for every whiskey lover. Come for the whiskey reviews, stay for the entertaining Tik Toks.

@whiskyyagogirl

View this post on Instagram

Happy International Women’s Day! May all of you incredible women out there relish in your power today and every damn day! Special thanks to @tasteselectrepeat for sending my this spicy treat in honor of Women’s History Month. And thank you to all of those who keep inspiring me to keep growing into my own womanhood and share my own powers. 💜#whoruntheworldgirls #internationalwomensday #womeninwhiskey #womeninwhisky #internationalwomensday2020 #whiskey #tasteselectrepeat

A post shared by Jenna – Whisky A Go Girl (@whiskyagogirl) on Mar 8, 2020 at 11:45am PDT

Los Angeles-based Jenna Elie is a whiskey educator for The Scotch Malt Whiskey Society. She takes to Instagram to share her knowledge about the spirit, as well as recommendations of whiskies approved by the expert and her dog.

@blackbourbonsociety

View this post on Instagram

Congratulations to our founder, @sammybeedavis for achieving @wineenthusiast 40 under 40! #blackbourbonsociety #bbs #we40u40 #40under40 #leadership #industryleaders #cheers

A post shared by Black Bourbon Society (@blackbourbonsociety) on Aug 20, 2020 at 6:02am PDT

Founded by Los Angeles- and Atlanta-based Samara Rivers (@sammybeedavis), Black Bourbon Society “bridges the gap between the spirits industry and African American bourbon enthusiasts,” engaging with members through virtual happy hours, tastings, and more. On its Instagram page, the society educates about the spirit, as well as providing recipe ideas and reviews.

@aarongoldfarb

View this post on Instagram

“You want me to write…what?!” Back at Bookstock today at @copperandkings signing books, starting at noon. I will not be wearing a blazer.

A post shared by Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) on Dec 7, 2019 at 4:42am PST

Aaron Goldfarb knows his whiskey. The two-time Brooklyn-based author and journalist has written about it in countless articles for VinePair, along with authoring a book called “Hacking Whiskey,” in which he shares tips, recipes, and insider secrets about the spirit. His newest book, “Gather Around Cocktails,” is full of holiday drink recipes. Follow his Instagram account for fun whiskey cocktails, sneak peaks of his latest articles, and more.

@overpricedbourbon

View this post on Instagram

Pricing all over 🧐

A post shared by Overpriced Bourbon (@overpricedbourbon) on Aug 25, 2020 at 6:50am PDT

With a little snark and a lot of humor, Overpriced Bourbon is here to make sure you never get ripped off when buying bourbon. Calling out liquor stores for overcharging for beloved bottles, the account has gained a large following of imbibers looking for fair prices on their favorite bottles.

@lougirl502

View this post on Instagram

I do love a good rickhouse selfie 😁

A post shared by LouGirl502 (@lougirl502) on Sep 25, 2019 at 2:45pm PDT

Maggie Kimberl is a Louisville, Ky.-based journalist, blogger and content editor for American Whiskey Magazine. Living in the epicenter of the bourbon world, this journalist considers herself “geographically blessed” (and who could blame her?). On her blog, she shares cocktail recipes, reading suggestions, and more. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram for bourbon reviews and shots of rare whiskies.

@rarebird101

View this post on Instagram

Rainy afternoon classic. 🥃🦃 #rarebird101

A post shared by Rare Bird 101 🦃 (@rarebird101) on Aug 23, 2020 at 2:00pm PDT

David Jennings is a South Carolina-based blogger and self-professed Wild Turkey superfan. His blog and Instagram account cover all whiskey, all the time. His dedication to the spirit is clear, between the detailed reviews and the impressive photos he shares on his feed.

@straightup.615

View this post on Instagram

Please #WearADamnMask. 😷 I miss y’all. #StraightUp #MaskOn #maskselfie #WhiskeyMask #BourbonMask

A post shared by 🥃Straight Up 615🥃 (@straightup.615) on Jul 14, 2020 at 1:35pm PDT

Cary Ann E. Fuller is an executive bourbon steward, blogger, and educator. She is a self-proclaimed “enthusiast of all things brown water,” sharing her love of the spirit as a co-host of the Sips, Suds, & Smokes podcast, co-producer of a documentary, “Straight Up: Kentucky Bourbon,” and on her Instagram feed. With photos of new releases, furry drinking buddies, whiskey masks, and more, Fuller’s feed brings out the fun in whiskey.

@bourbonr

View this post on Instagram

Finally getting to crack our new Pinhook Barrel pick. So good!!

A post shared by Bourbonr.com (@bourbonr) on Jul 10, 2020 at 4:54pm PDT

Blake Riber is here to make sure his followers are always up to date on all things bourbon. The Jacksonville, Fla.-based influencer posts everything from cocktail-making videos, to pairing recommendations.

@majorinwhiskey

View this post on Instagram

She’s whiskey in a teacup… well, maybe in a mason jar!! Happy Monday folks! Amazing photo by @twjohns #bulleit #bourbon #whiskeyblender

A post shared by Eboni Major (@majorinwhiskey) on Jul 30, 2018 at 7:26am PDT

Eboni Major is a whiskey blender at Bulleit DIstilling Co., as well as a food scientist. Beyond smelling, tasting, and creating new whiskies, Major spends time on Instagram, sharing everything from selfies to whiskey-blending photos and videos. She was recently interviewed by VinePair CEO and co-founder Adam Teeter, discussing the duties of a whiskey blender, as well as how the pandemic has impacted the job.

@whiskeygrab

View this post on Instagram

My homie @kaylaborton nominated me to add a tip jar at my home bar, used to contribute 🤑 to my favorite bar, bartender, restaurant, and/or server.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Once nominated, you have to nominate at least 3 friends to pass on the initiative. I nominate those tagged in the photo, but everyone please feel free to contribute and keep it going!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Here are the rules:⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 1) Make a tip jar and donate tips when you have a drink at home (I plan to tip it all to my two fave spots when they reopen, but some of your favorite bars, bartenders, etc. might have set up GoFundMe pages);⁣⁣ 2) Nominate at least 3 friends to do the same; and⁣⁣ 3) DON’T nominate friends for whom the funds are intended.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The idea is to bring friends together while helping out our favorite local hospitality crews during these crap times. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #tipyourbartender #whiskey #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #virtualdrinkforhospitality #rona #igottherona #bourbon #rum #notvodka

A post shared by whiskeygrab (@whiskeygrab) on Mar 29, 2020 at 10:30am PDT

St. Louis-based “Dusty Mike” (he prefers not to disclose his real last name) has recently used his platform to call out the whiskey industry for its silence regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day to day, this St. Louis-based “dusty-hunter” — or searcher of vintage whiskies at off-the-beaten-path stores and markets — likes to flaunt his latest finds on the ‘gram.

@thewhiskywalker

View this post on Instagram

Spending a few days here at the Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes. On the way over I managed to pick up this new Old Charter that I’ve been super curious about. Tried the Mongolian, French, and Canadian wood, now we have the CHINKAPIN. Anyone know what Chinkapin oak is??

A post shared by Whisky & Travel (@thewhiskywalker) on Aug 6, 2020 at 9:28am PDT

For whiskey-filled travel photos from Japan to Napa, and an equally covetable collection, check out this Los Angeles-based whiskey connoisseur. Though this collector likes to stay anonymous — never disclosing their name or showing their face on the feed — they aren’t afraid to show off their enviable collection and travel buys.

@peggynoestevens

View this post on Instagram

Can you hear it? 😂 Just a little humor when we drink with too many rules instead of enjoying the product 🥃😂👍🏻

A post shared by Peggy Noe Stevens & Associates (@peggynoestevens) on Jul 17, 2020 at 11:59am PDT

When it comes to bourbon, Peggy Noe Stevens does it all. As the founder and president of Peggy Noe Stevens and Associates, Stevens helps grow bourbon and hospitality brands. She’s also the author of “Which Fork Do I Use With My Bourbon,” a guide to hosting bourbon tastings, as well as the founder of Bourbon Women, which self-identifies as “THE organization for women who are passionate about exploring #Bourbon and the culture that surrounds it.” Follow Stevens for tasting tips, pairing suggestions, and so much more.

@cocktail_contessa

View this post on Instagram

HAPPY NATIONAL WINE DAY – HERE'S A WHISKEY DRINK: It was already sour week for me, and I wanted to make sure to cover the New York Sour with it's beautiful red wine float atop a pillow of whiskey sour lusciousness. 🍷 It's pretty much the only way I drink wine these days. 🍷 The full article which includes the history of the New York Sour is on my website – link in bio – but I'll tell you that I didn't find a clear consensus on wines to use to float on a whiskey sour.  🍷 When experimenting and taste testing (creating cocktails is hard work) it seemed that choosing a wine that went with the ingredients was much like choosing any other cocktail element. In the end I chose a cab/shiraz blend that a friend gave to me. It was fruity, but not overly sour, and definitely dry. It played very well with the oaky notes from the rye I used. 🍷 Remember that the kind of red wine you choose will need to play well with the other ingredients. You may want to focus on fruity wines to pair with the sweet in the whiskey sour, but you might decide to go dry and let the tannins/oaky qualities pair up with the aged whiskey. It’s your choice.   🍷 Full recipe is in the link in bio. New York Sour: -rye (Old Overholt 100) -lemon -simple -bitters (@oldforester hummingbird bitters) -optional (egg white or aquafaba) -red wine . . . . #rye #cocktailcontessa #feedfeed #bourbonwomen #whiskeygirl #whiskeylove #whiskeylife #whiskeycocktail #whiskeysour #newyorksour #fryeday #bestcocktails #nationalwineday #cocktailsforyou #cocktailsathome #imbibegram #mixeddrinks #cocktailculture #cocktailsofinstagram #homebartender

A post shared by Heather Wibbels (@cocktail_contessa) on Aug 28, 2020 at 2:15pm PDT

Heather Wibbels, Cocktail Contessa and Kentucky-based bourbon aficionado, designs the cocktails of your dreams. As an Executive Bourbon Steward and member of Bourbon Women, Wibbels brings her knowledge of the spirit to her feed, creating a mesmerizing selection of beverages made mostly with whiskey.

@TheDailyDram

View this post on Instagram

| #SundayFunday Simply can’t get enough of this high rye @RedemptionWhiskey 10 year. It’s the perfect #whiskey to enjoy on this beautiful day in #SanDiego. Recharging from a bit of #beach and all the fun summer things! What did you all get into this #weekend? Hope you all had a fantastic couple of days and a pour of some proper #whisky! Many #cheers and happy Sunday! 🙏🏼🥃☀️🌴 . . #scotch #bourbon #cocktails #community #friends #luxury #lifestyle #summer #Thedailydram

A post shared by The Daily Dram (@thedailydram) on Aug 30, 2020 at 4:04pm PDT

Looking for some straight-up whiskey reviews? Follow The Daily Dram. Never forgetting to celebrate #WhiskeyWednesday, San Diego-based Brandon Smith shares news, recommendations of distilleries and bars, and shares honest opinions on whiskies — creating a sense of community among his whiskey-obsessed followers.

@whisky_nate

View this post on Instagram

Always hike with the essentials. @smoothambler . . . . . . . #whisky #whiskey #bourbon #tetons #hikes #hiker #hikelife #hikingadventures #hiking #hikersofinstagram #hikemoreworryless #hikemore #getoutside #getoutdoors #wanderlust #nomad #nomadlife #hikertrash #dirtbag #vanlifediaries #grandtetons #vanlifemovement #vanlife #scotch #grandtetonnationalpark

A post shared by Nate Woodruff (@whisky_nate) on Aug 17, 2020 at 11:31am PDT

Nature- and whiskey-loving Nate Woodruff likes to sip whiskey in high places — mostly mountains (as he says in his bio). As a result, his Instagram feed is filled with stunning scenery, top-notch bottle selections sourced from around the world, and a generous amount of his adorable travel companion Syke.

The article 17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/17-whiskey-influencers-social-media/

[isaiahrippinus]

17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media

American whiskey is a tricky business. Staying in the know about bourbon, blends, and the wild West of American single malt is a challenge in normal times, and more so while we’re largely left to explore and share experiences inside. In these times, the best way to stay up to date with the latest whiskey releases and cultural tips is online.

Of course, following the right whiskey experts is key. That’s why VinePair consulted our whiskey-loving friends and experts throughout the spirits community to tell us who they’re following on Instagram and Twitter right now. From whiskey writers to bartenders, the individuals below each offer a unique perspective into the world of whiskey.

@thewhiskeyauthority

View this post on Instagram

Have you heard? Whiskey School is in session!!! New class up this week. Learn about the power you have to move worlds with your dollars, guess how much the North American Alcohol market is worth, and for how long we’ve been socializing around CH-3-CH2-OH. #whiskeysdistilled #theshiskeyauthority #milamandgreene #bourbon #bourbonwomen #rye #olfaction #expert … … … #whiskey #whisky #womeninbusiness #ceolife #money #power #knowledgeispower #texashillcountry #texas

A post shared by Heather Greene (@thewhiskeyauthority) on Apr 14, 2020 at 5:54pm PDT

Heather Greene is serious about whiskey. Not only is she the CEO of Provision Spirits, she’s also the author of “Whiskey Distilled,” and a judge for the American Craft Spirits Association and the International Wine & Spirit Competition. She takes to her Instagram account to post educational videos and gorgeous shots of the spirit.

@bourbonpursuit

View this post on Instagram

Just a boy and his barrels. We posted a huge update on @pursuitspirits to our Patreon community. Lots of great whiskey to share with you all. And we want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased a bottle. Your support is helping us build the next great whiskey company… #bourbon #whiskey #podcast #bourbonpursuit #pursuitseries #pursuitspirits

A post shared by Bourbon Pursuit (@bourbonpursuit) on Aug 11, 2020 at 12:17pm PDT

The self-proclaimed “official podcast of bourbon,” Bourbon Pursuit is the podcast that industry experts can’t get enough of. The podcast, run by Louisville, Ky.-based Kenny Coleman — as well as its affiliated Instagram account — have loyal followings. And it’s clear why: From “quickie” whiskey reviews, to interviews with whiskey pros such as Peggy Noe Stevens, the first-ever woman Master Taster, this podcast has something for every whiskey lover. Come for the whiskey reviews, stay for the entertaining Tik Toks.

@whiskyyagogirl

View this post on Instagram

Happy International Women’s Day! May all of you incredible women out there relish in your power today and every damn day! Special thanks to @tasteselectrepeat for sending my this spicy treat in honor of Women’s History Month. And thank you to all of those who keep inspiring me to keep growing into my own womanhood and share my own powers. 💜#whoruntheworldgirls #internationalwomensday #womeninwhiskey #womeninwhisky #internationalwomensday2020 #whiskey #tasteselectrepeat

A post shared by Jenna – Whisky A Go Girl (@whiskyagogirl) on Mar 8, 2020 at 11:45am PDT

Los Angeles-based Jenna Elie is a whiskey educator for The Scotch Malt Whiskey Society. She takes to Instagram to share her knowledge about the spirit, as well as recommendations of whiskies approved by the expert and her dog.

@blackbourbonsociety

View this post on Instagram

Congratulations to our founder, @sammybeedavis for achieving @wineenthusiast 40 under 40! #blackbourbonsociety #bbs #we40u40 #40under40 #leadership #industryleaders #cheers

A post shared by Black Bourbon Society (@blackbourbonsociety) on Aug 20, 2020 at 6:02am PDT

Founded by Los Angeles- and Atlanta-based Samara Rivers (@sammybeedavis), Black Bourbon Society “bridges the gap between the spirits industry and African American bourbon enthusiasts,” engaging with members through virtual happy hours, tastings, and more. On its Instagram page, the society educates about the spirit, as well as providing recipe ideas and reviews.

@aarongoldfarb

View this post on Instagram

“You want me to write…what?!” Back at Bookstock today at @copperandkings signing books, starting at noon. I will not be wearing a blazer.

A post shared by Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) on Dec 7, 2019 at 4:42am PST

Aaron Goldfarb knows his whiskey. The two-time Brooklyn-based author and journalist has written about it in countless articles for VinePair, along with authoring a book called “Hacking Whiskey,” in which he shares tips, recipes, and insider secrets about the spirit. His newest book, “Gather Around Cocktails,” is full of holiday drink recipes. Follow his Instagram account for fun whiskey cocktails, sneak peaks of his latest articles, and more.

@overpricedbourbon

View this post on Instagram

Pricing all over 🧐

A post shared by Overpriced Bourbon (@overpricedbourbon) on Aug 25, 2020 at 6:50am PDT

With a little snark and a lot of humor, Overpriced Bourbon is here to make sure you never get ripped off when buying bourbon. Calling out liquor stores for overcharging for beloved bottles, the account has gained a large following of imbibers looking for fair prices on their favorite bottles.

@lougirl502

View this post on Instagram

I do love a good rickhouse selfie 😁

A post shared by LouGirl502 (@lougirl502) on Sep 25, 2019 at 2:45pm PDT

Maggie Kimberl is a Louisville, Ky.-based journalist, blogger and content editor for American Whiskey Magazine. Living in the epicenter of the bourbon world, this journalist considers herself “geographically blessed” (and who could blame her?). On her blog, she shares cocktail recipes, reading suggestions, and more. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram for bourbon reviews and shots of rare whiskies.

@rarebird101

View this post on Instagram

Rainy afternoon classic. 🥃🦃 #rarebird101

A post shared by Rare Bird 101 🦃 (@rarebird101) on Aug 23, 2020 at 2:00pm PDT

David Jennings is a South Carolina-based blogger and self-professed Wild Turkey superfan. His blog and Instagram account cover all whiskey, all the time. His dedication to the spirit is clear, between the detailed reviews and the impressive photos he shares on his feed.

@straightup.615

View this post on Instagram

Please #WearADamnMask. 😷 I miss y’all. #StraightUp #MaskOn #maskselfie #WhiskeyMask #BourbonMask

A post shared by 🥃Straight Up 615🥃 (@straightup.615) on Jul 14, 2020 at 1:35pm PDT

Cary Ann E. Fuller is an executive bourbon steward, blogger, and educator. She is a self-proclaimed “enthusiast of all things brown water,” sharing her love of the spirit as a co-host of the Sips, Suds, & Smokes podcast, co-producer of a documentary, “Straight Up: Kentucky Bourbon,” and on her Instagram feed. With photos of new releases, furry drinking buddies, whiskey masks, and more, Fuller’s feed brings out the fun in whiskey.

@bourbonr

View this post on Instagram

Finally getting to crack our new Pinhook Barrel pick. So good!!

A post shared by Bourbonr.com (@bourbonr) on Jul 10, 2020 at 4:54pm PDT

Blake Riber is here to make sure his followers are always up to date on all things bourbon. The Jacksonville, Fla.-based influencer posts everything from cocktail-making videos, to pairing recommendations.

@majorinwhiskey

View this post on Instagram

She’s whiskey in a teacup… well, maybe in a mason jar!! Happy Monday folks! Amazing photo by @twjohns #bulleit #bourbon #whiskeyblender

A post shared by Eboni Major (@majorinwhiskey) on Jul 30, 2018 at 7:26am PDT

Eboni Major is a whiskey blender at Bulleit DIstilling Co., as well as a food scientist. Beyond smelling, tasting, and creating new whiskies, Major spends time on Instagram, sharing everything from selfies to whiskey-blending photos and videos. She was recently interviewed by VinePair CEO and co-founder Adam Teeter, discussing the duties of a whiskey blender, as well as how the pandemic has impacted the job.

@whiskeygrab

View this post on Instagram

My homie @kaylaborton nominated me to add a tip jar at my home bar, used to contribute 🤑 to my favorite bar, bartender, restaurant, and/or server.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Once nominated, you have to nominate at least 3 friends to pass on the initiative. I nominate those tagged in the photo, but everyone please feel free to contribute and keep it going!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Here are the rules:⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 1) Make a tip jar and donate tips when you have a drink at home (I plan to tip it all to my two fave spots when they reopen, but some of your favorite bars, bartenders, etc. might have set up GoFundMe pages);⁣⁣ 2) Nominate at least 3 friends to do the same; and⁣⁣ 3) DON’T nominate friends for whom the funds are intended.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The idea is to bring friends together while helping out our favorite local hospitality crews during these crap times. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #tipyourbartender #whiskey #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #virtualdrinkforhospitality #rona #igottherona #bourbon #rum #notvodka

A post shared by whiskeygrab (@whiskeygrab) on Mar 29, 2020 at 10:30am PDT

St. Louis-based “Dusty Mike” (he prefers not to disclose his real last name) has recently used his platform to call out the whiskey industry for its silence regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day to day, this St. Louis-based “dusty-hunter” — or searcher of vintage whiskies at off-the-beaten-path stores and markets — likes to flaunt his latest finds on the ‘gram.

@thewhiskywalker

View this post on Instagram

Spending a few days here at the Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes. On the way over I managed to pick up this new Old Charter that I’ve been super curious about. Tried the Mongolian, French, and Canadian wood, now we have the CHINKAPIN. Anyone know what Chinkapin oak is??

A post shared by Whisky & Travel (@thewhiskywalker) on Aug 6, 2020 at 9:28am PDT

For whiskey-filled travel photos from Japan to Napa, and an equally covetable collection, check out this Los Angeles-based whiskey connoisseur. Though this collector likes to stay anonymous — never disclosing their name or showing their face on the feed — they aren’t afraid to show off their enviable collection and travel buys.

@peggynoestevens

View this post on Instagram

Can you hear it? 😂 Just a little humor when we drink with too many rules instead of enjoying the product 🥃😂👍🏻

A post shared by Peggy Noe Stevens & Associates (@peggynoestevens) on Jul 17, 2020 at 11:59am PDT

When it comes to bourbon, Peggy Noe Stevens does it all. As the founder and president of Peggy Noe Stevens and Associates, Stevens helps grow bourbon and hospitality brands. She’s also the author of “Which Fork Do I Use With My Bourbon,” a guide to hosting bourbon tastings, as well as the founder of Bourbon Women, which self-identifies as “THE organization for women who are passionate about exploring #Bourbon and the culture that surrounds it.” Follow Stevens for tasting tips, pairing suggestions, and so much more.

@cocktail_contessa

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HAPPY NATIONAL WINE DAY – HERE’S A WHISKEY DRINK: It was already sour week for me, and I wanted to make sure to cover the New York Sour with it’s beautiful red wine float atop a pillow of whiskey sour lusciousness. 🍷 It’s pretty much the only way I drink wine these days. 🍷 The full article which includes the history of the New York Sour is on my website – link in bio – but I’ll tell you that I didn’t find a clear consensus on wines to use to float on a whiskey sour.  🍷 When experimenting and taste testing (creating cocktails is hard work) it seemed that choosing a wine that went with the ingredients was much like choosing any other cocktail element. In the end I chose a cab/shiraz blend that a friend gave to me. It was fruity, but not overly sour, and definitely dry. It played very well with the oaky notes from the rye I used. 🍷 Remember that the kind of red wine you choose will need to play well with the other ingredients. You may want to focus on fruity wines to pair with the sweet in the whiskey sour, but you might decide to go dry and let the tannins/oaky qualities pair up with the aged whiskey. It’s your choice.   🍷 Full recipe is in the link in bio. New York Sour: -rye (Old Overholt 100) -lemon -simple -bitters (@oldforester hummingbird bitters) -optional (egg white or aquafaba) -red wine … . #rye #cocktailcontessa #feedfeed #bourbonwomen #whiskeygirl #whiskeylove #whiskeylife #whiskeycocktail #whiskeysour #newyorksour #fryeday #bestcocktails #nationalwineday #cocktailsforyou #cocktailsathome #imbibegram #mixeddrinks #cocktailculture #cocktailsofinstagram #homebartender

A post shared by Heather Wibbels (@cocktail_contessa) on Aug 28, 2020 at 2:15pm PDT

Heather Wibbels, Cocktail Contessa and Kentucky-based bourbon aficionado, designs the cocktails of your dreams. As an Executive Bourbon Steward and member of Bourbon Women, Wibbels brings her knowledge of the spirit to her feed, creating a mesmerizing selection of beverages made mostly with whiskey.

@TheDailyDram

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| #SundayFunday Simply can’t get enough of this high rye @RedemptionWhiskey 10 year. It’s the perfect #whiskey to enjoy on this beautiful day in #SanDiego. Recharging from a bit of #beach and all the fun summer things! What did you all get into this #weekend? Hope you all had a fantastic couple of days and a pour of some proper #whisky! Many #cheers and happy Sunday! 🙏🏼🥃☀️🌴 . . #scotch #bourbon #cocktails #community #friends #luxury #lifestyle #summer #Thedailydram

A post shared by The Daily Dram (@thedailydram) on Aug 30, 2020 at 4:04pm PDT

Looking for some straight-up whiskey reviews? Follow The Daily Dram. Never forgetting to celebrate #WhiskeyWednesday, San Diego-based Brandon Smith shares news, recommendations of distilleries and bars, and shares honest opinions on whiskies — creating a sense of community among his whiskey-obsessed followers.

@whisky_nate

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Always hike with the essentials. @smoothambler … … . #whisky #whiskey #bourbon #tetons #hikes #hiker #hikelife #hikingadventures #hiking #hikersofinstagram #hikemoreworryless #hikemore #getoutside #getoutdoors #wanderlust #nomad #nomadlife #hikertrash #dirtbag #vanlifediaries #grandtetons #vanlifemovement #vanlife #scotch #grandtetonnationalpark

A post shared by Nate Woodruff (@whisky_nate) on Aug 17, 2020 at 11:31am PDT

Nature- and whiskey-loving Nate Woodruff likes to sip whiskey in high places — mostly mountains (as he says in his bio). As a result, his Instagram feed is filled with stunning scenery, top-notch bottle selections sourced from around the world, and a generous amount of his adorable travel companion Syke.

The article 17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/17-whiskey-influencers-social-media/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/628339064195694592

[johnboothus]

17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media

American whiskey is a tricky business. Staying in the know about bourbon, blends, and the wild West of American single malt is a challenge in normal times, and more so while we’re largely left to explore and share experiences inside. In these times, the best way to stay up to date with the latest whiskey releases and cultural tips is online.

Of course, following the right whiskey experts is key. That’s why VinePair consulted our whiskey-loving friends and experts throughout the spirits community to tell us who they’re following on Instagram and Twitter right now. From whiskey writers to bartenders, the individuals below each offer a unique perspective into the world of whiskey.

@thewhiskeyauthority

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Have you heard? Whiskey School is in session!!! New class up this week. Learn about the power you have to move worlds with your dollars, guess how much the North American Alcohol market is worth, and for how long we’ve been socializing around CH-3-CH2-OH. #whiskeysdistilled #theshiskeyauthority #milamandgreene #bourbon #bourbonwomen #rye #olfaction #expert … … … #whiskey #whisky #womeninbusiness #ceolife #money #power #knowledgeispower #texashillcountry #texas

A post shared by Heather Greene (@thewhiskeyauthority) on Apr 14, 2020 at 5:54pm PDT

Heather Greene is serious about whiskey. Not only is she the CEO of Provision Spirits, she’s also the author of “Whiskey Distilled,” and a judge for the American Craft Spirits Association and the International Wine & Spirit Competition. She takes to her Instagram account to post educational videos and gorgeous shots of the spirit.

@bourbonpursuit

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Just a boy and his barrels. We posted a huge update on @pursuitspirits to our Patreon community. Lots of great whiskey to share with you all. And we want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased a bottle. Your support is helping us build the next great whiskey company. . . #bourbon #whiskey #podcast #bourbonpursuit #pursuitseries #pursuitspirits

A post shared by Bourbon Pursuit (@bourbonpursuit) on Aug 11, 2020 at 12:17pm PDT

The self-proclaimed “official podcast of bourbon,” Bourbon Pursuit is the podcast that industry experts can’t get enough of. The podcast, run by Louisville, Ky.-based Kenny Coleman — as well as its affiliated Instagram account — have loyal followings. And it’s clear why: From “quickie” whiskey reviews, to interviews with whiskey pros such as Peggy Noe Stevens, the first-ever woman Master Taster, this podcast has something for every whiskey lover. Come for the whiskey reviews, stay for the entertaining Tik Toks.

@whiskyyagogirl

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Happy International Women’s Day! May all of you incredible women out there relish in your power today and every damn day! Special thanks to @tasteselectrepeat for sending my this spicy treat in honor of Women’s History Month. And thank you to all of those who keep inspiring me to keep growing into my own womanhood and share my own powers. 💜#whoruntheworldgirls #internationalwomensday #womeninwhiskey #womeninwhisky #internationalwomensday2020 #whiskey #tasteselectrepeat

A post shared by Jenna – Whisky A Go Girl (@whiskyagogirl) on Mar 8, 2020 at 11:45am PDT

Los Angeles-based Jenna Elie is a whiskey educator for The Scotch Malt Whiskey Society. She takes to Instagram to share her knowledge about the spirit, as well as recommendations of whiskies approved by the expert and her dog.

@blackbourbonsociety

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Congratulations to our founder, @sammybeedavis for achieving @wineenthusiast 40 under 40! #blackbourbonsociety #bbs #we40u40 #40under40 #leadership #industryleaders #cheers

A post shared by Black Bourbon Society (@blackbourbonsociety) on Aug 20, 2020 at 6:02am PDT

Founded by Los Angeles- and Atlanta-based Samara Rivers (@sammybeedavis), Black Bourbon Society “bridges the gap between the spirits industry and African American bourbon enthusiasts,” engaging with members through virtual happy hours, tastings, and more. On its Instagram page, the society educates about the spirit, as well as providing recipe ideas and reviews.

@aarongoldfarb

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“You want me to write…what?!” Back at Bookstock today at @copperandkings signing books, starting at noon. I will not be wearing a blazer.

A post shared by Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) on Dec 7, 2019 at 4:42am PST

Aaron Goldfarb knows his whiskey. The two-time Brooklyn-based author and journalist has written about it in countless articles for VinePair, along with authoring a book called “Hacking Whiskey,” in which he shares tips, recipes, and insider secrets about the spirit. His newest book, “Gather Around Cocktails,” is full of holiday drink recipes. Follow his Instagram account for fun whiskey cocktails, sneak peaks of his latest articles, and more.

@overpricedbourbon

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Pricing all over 🧐

A post shared by Overpriced Bourbon (@overpricedbourbon) on Aug 25, 2020 at 6:50am PDT

With a little snark and a lot of humor, Overpriced Bourbon is here to make sure you never get ripped off when buying bourbon. Calling out liquor stores for overcharging for beloved bottles, the account has gained a large following of imbibers looking for fair prices on their favorite bottles.

@lougirl502

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I do love a good rickhouse selfie 😁

A post shared by LouGirl502 (@lougirl502) on Sep 25, 2019 at 2:45pm PDT

Maggie Kimberl is a Louisville, Ky.-based journalist, blogger and content editor for American Whiskey Magazine. Living in the epicenter of the bourbon world, this journalist considers herself “geographically blessed” (and who could blame her?). On her blog, she shares cocktail recipes, reading suggestions, and more. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram for bourbon reviews and shots of rare whiskies.

@rarebird101

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Rainy afternoon classic. 🥃🦃 #rarebird101

A post shared by Rare Bird 101 🦃 (@rarebird101) on Aug 23, 2020 at 2:00pm PDT

David Jennings is a South Carolina-based blogger and self-professed Wild Turkey superfan. His blog and Instagram account cover all whiskey, all the time. His dedication to the spirit is clear, between the detailed reviews and the impressive photos he shares on his feed.

@straightup.615

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Please #WearADamnMask. 😷 I miss y’all. #StraightUp #MaskOn #maskselfie #WhiskeyMask #BourbonMask

A post shared by 🥃Straight Up 615🥃 (@straightup.615) on Jul 14, 2020 at 1:35pm PDT

Cary Ann E. Fuller is an executive bourbon steward, blogger, and educator. She is a self-proclaimed “enthusiast of all things brown water,” sharing her love of the spirit as a co-host of the Sips, Suds, & Smokes podcast, co-producer of a documentary, “Straight Up: Kentucky Bourbon,” and on her Instagram feed. With photos of new releases, furry drinking buddies, whiskey masks, and more, Fuller’s feed brings out the fun in whiskey.

@bourbonr

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Finally getting to crack our new Pinhook Barrel pick. So good!!

A post shared by Bourbonr.com (@bourbonr) on Jul 10, 2020 at 4:54pm PDT

Blake Riber is here to make sure his followers are always up to date on all things bourbon. The Jacksonville, Fla.-based influencer posts everything from cocktail-making videos, to pairing recommendations.

@majorinwhiskey

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She’s whiskey in a teacup… well, maybe in a mason jar!! Happy Monday folks! Amazing photo by @twjohns #bulleit #bourbon #whiskeyblender

A post shared by Eboni Major (@majorinwhiskey) on Jul 30, 2018 at 7:26am PDT

Eboni Major is a whiskey blender at Bulleit DIstilling Co., as well as a food scientist. Beyond smelling, tasting, and creating new whiskies, Major spends time on Instagram, sharing everything from selfies to whiskey-blending photos and videos. She was recently interviewed by VinePair CEO and co-founder Adam Teeter, discussing the duties of a whiskey blender, as well as how the pandemic has impacted the job.

@whiskeygrab

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My homie @kaylaborton nominated me to add a tip jar at my home bar, used to contribute 🤑 to my favorite bar, bartender, restaurant, and/or server.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Once nominated, you have to nominate at least 3 friends to pass on the initiative. I nominate those tagged in the photo, but everyone please feel free to contribute and keep it going!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Here are the rules:⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 1) Make a tip jar and donate tips when you have a drink at home (I plan to tip it all to my two fave spots when they reopen, but some of your favorite bars, bartenders, etc. might have set up GoFundMe pages);⁣⁣ 2) Nominate at least 3 friends to do the same; and⁣⁣ 3) DON’T nominate friends for whom the funds are intended.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The idea is to bring friends together while helping out our favorite local hospitality crews during these crap times. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #tipyourbartender #whiskey #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #virtualdrinkforhospitality #rona #igottherona #bourbon #rum #notvodka

A post shared by whiskeygrab (@whiskeygrab) on Mar 29, 2020 at 10:30am PDT

St. Louis-based “Dusty Mike” (he prefers not to disclose his real last name) has recently used his platform to call out the whiskey industry for its silence regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day to day, this St. Louis-based “dusty-hunter” — or searcher of vintage whiskies at off-the-beaten-path stores and markets — likes to flaunt his latest finds on the ‘gram.

@thewhiskywalker

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Spending a few days here at the Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes. On the way over I managed to pick up this new Old Charter that I’ve been super curious about. Tried the Mongolian, French, and Canadian wood, now we have the CHINKAPIN. Anyone know what Chinkapin oak is??

A post shared by Whisky & Travel (@thewhiskywalker) on Aug 6, 2020 at 9:28am PDT

For whiskey-filled travel photos from Japan to Napa, and an equally covetable collection, check out this Los Angeles-based whiskey connoisseur. Though this collector likes to stay anonymous — never disclosing their name or showing their face on the feed — they aren’t afraid to show off their enviable collection and travel buys.

@peggynoestevens

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Can you hear it? 😂 Just a little humor when we drink with too many rules instead of enjoying the product 🥃😂👍🏻

A post shared by Peggy Noe Stevens & Associates (@peggynoestevens) on Jul 17, 2020 at 11:59am PDT

When it comes to bourbon, Peggy Noe Stevens does it all. As the founder and president of Peggy Noe Stevens and Associates, Stevens helps grow bourbon and hospitality brands. She’s also the author of “Which Fork Do I Use With My Bourbon,” a guide to hosting bourbon tastings, as well as the founder of Bourbon Women, which self-identifies as “THE organization for women who are passionate about exploring #Bourbon and the culture that surrounds it.” Follow Stevens for tasting tips, pairing suggestions, and so much more.

@cocktail_contessa

View this post on Instagram

HAPPY NATIONAL WINE DAY – HERE'S A WHISKEY DRINK: It was already sour week for me, and I wanted to make sure to cover the New York Sour with it's beautiful red wine float atop a pillow of whiskey sour lusciousness. 🍷 It's pretty much the only way I drink wine these days. 🍷 The full article which includes the history of the New York Sour is on my website – link in bio – but I'll tell you that I didn't find a clear consensus on wines to use to float on a whiskey sour.  🍷 When experimenting and taste testing (creating cocktails is hard work) it seemed that choosing a wine that went with the ingredients was much like choosing any other cocktail element. In the end I chose a cab/shiraz blend that a friend gave to me. It was fruity, but not overly sour, and definitely dry. It played very well with the oaky notes from the rye I used. 🍷 Remember that the kind of red wine you choose will need to play well with the other ingredients. You may want to focus on fruity wines to pair with the sweet in the whiskey sour, but you might decide to go dry and let the tannins/oaky qualities pair up with the aged whiskey. It’s your choice.   🍷 Full recipe is in the link in bio. New York Sour: -rye (Old Overholt 100) -lemon -simple -bitters (@oldforester hummingbird bitters) -optional (egg white or aquafaba) -red wine . . . . #rye #cocktailcontessa #feedfeed #bourbonwomen #whiskeygirl #whiskeylove #whiskeylife #whiskeycocktail #whiskeysour #newyorksour #fryeday #bestcocktails #nationalwineday #cocktailsforyou #cocktailsathome #imbibegram #mixeddrinks #cocktailculture #cocktailsofinstagram #homebartender

A post shared by Heather Wibbels (@cocktail_contessa) on Aug 28, 2020 at 2:15pm PDT

Heather Wibbels, Cocktail Contessa and Kentucky-based bourbon aficionado, designs the cocktails of your dreams. As an Executive Bourbon Steward and member of Bourbon Women, Wibbels brings her knowledge of the spirit to her feed, creating a mesmerizing selection of beverages made mostly with whiskey.

@TheDailyDram

View this post on Instagram

| #SundayFunday Simply can’t get enough of this high rye @RedemptionWhiskey 10 year. It’s the perfect #whiskey to enjoy on this beautiful day in #SanDiego. Recharging from a bit of #beach and all the fun summer things! What did you all get into this #weekend? Hope you all had a fantastic couple of days and a pour of some proper #whisky! Many #cheers and happy Sunday! 🙏🏼🥃☀️🌴 . . #scotch #bourbon #cocktails #community #friends #luxury #lifestyle #summer #Thedailydram

A post shared by The Daily Dram (@thedailydram) on Aug 30, 2020 at 4:04pm PDT

Looking for some straight-up whiskey reviews? Follow The Daily Dram. Never forgetting to celebrate #WhiskeyWednesday, San Diego-based Brandon Smith shares news, recommendations of distilleries and bars, and shares honest opinions on whiskies — creating a sense of community among his whiskey-obsessed followers.

@whisky_nate

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Always hike with the essentials. @smoothambler . . . . . . . #whisky #whiskey #bourbon #tetons #hikes #hiker #hikelife #hikingadventures #hiking #hikersofinstagram #hikemoreworryless #hikemore #getoutside #getoutdoors #wanderlust #nomad #nomadlife #hikertrash #dirtbag #vanlifediaries #grandtetons #vanlifemovement #vanlife #scotch #grandtetonnationalpark

A post shared by Nate Woodruff (@whisky_nate) on Aug 17, 2020 at 11:31am PDT

Nature- and whiskey-loving Nate Woodruff likes to sip whiskey in high places — mostly mountains (as he says in his bio). As a result, his Instagram feed is filled with stunning scenery, top-notch bottle selections sourced from around the world, and a generous amount of his adorable travel companion Syke.

The article 17 Whiskey Experts You Should Be Following on Social Media appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/17-whiskey-influencers-social-media/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/17-whiskey-experts-you-should-be-following-on-social-media