#2parters

[rystiel]

stan is NOT winning the idgaf wars

(part 1)(here's part 2)

[hedonicghost]

these spacers sure are something huh

(individual images under the cut)

sorry i couldnt figure out how to lay this out in the main post without it cropping stupidly lol.

paris has so much swagless rizz its palpable. b'elanna was probably robbed of her emo phase so shes speed running it now. kim, harry kim, is literally me (so not ready for any of this). tuvok needs a break; he keeps getting shoved into horrible situations. neelix is nothing to me (positive).

[alienssstufff]

if you dont mind me asking , how did you find your art style ? you inspire me a lot , and i was just wondering about your process/how you decided to stick with the style you currently have !!

,,,,,,, not like copying copying

but dissecting artstyles i like, deducing possible techniques to how they achieved the thing I want in mine, trying said technique (trying to replicate) out myself - is it possible to be done consistently and to my comfort? etc etc

[ze-land-fill]

The Difference Between Quiet and Silence - A Radio Silence FanFic

Chapter 2 - Quiet

Warnings - Self-hatred - Parental issues

Ships - Daled (Daniel x Aled)

Type - Hurt/Comfort

Adittional Tags - Daniel-centric - Unconventional romace - unconventional relationship - Canon-compliant - Post-canon -

Word count - 2215

~ * ~

Summary:

He almost does reach for the door. Until he feels a cold, sweaty hand, slide into his own trembling fingers. And Aled just looks at him with an uncertain smile.

~

It's silent. So horribly silent. He hates it. If you'd have told Daniel he would hate silence back in April, he would've laughed at you and called you crazy. Why would he hate silence?! He could do well, study, think, he couldn't do that with noise. But he did, and it was so silent. Too silent-

And then it wasn't.

OR

Daniel meets Aled's Grandparents. Gets really sad. Talks to Aled about the sad.

~ * ~

The last box is placed in the backseat. Raine dusts off her hands and places them on her hips. She turns back towards the porch and yells through the open door; “ That was the last of them! We’re all set!”

Daniel mumbles out a reply and packs up the last of his things into his bag. He stands at the door to his room and takes a final look at it. The desk is barren, his bed stripped of its lining. There’s nothing left. It's plain and simple, save for his rug. The only pop of colour left in his room. It’s blue, with an animal print. He’d practically had to fight Raine from packing it into one of the boxes, too embarrassed to bring something like it with him. 

He smiled sadly. The last eighteen years of his life had just been packed into cardboard boxes and stacked into Raine’s purple Ford Ka. And it was all going with him to university. 

He closed the door to his room for…quite possibly the last time.

He stepped down the stairs. Slowly. As if to drag out every last moment he had left in this house. He walked past the kitchen, where his mum was. His dad had gone to work today, in the workshop. He paused for a second outside the kitchen door, a tiny childish voice telling him his mother was waiting there, to give him one last hug. But she simply continued on with her work, she likely hadn’t even noticed Daniel at all. 

He wanted to cry. But he clenched his fists and walked into the foyer. After that night at the Wilsons, Daniel had ended up spending the night at Aled’s. Then a night turned to two, then three, and pretty soon, the last two weeks of summer were spent with Aled, Frances, and their other friends. But he’d insisted on coming back home for the last few days, to pack everything up. Raine had volunteered to help transport all his stuff, and he’d played it off as being mildly irritated by her, but the truth was that he was incredibly grateful for what she was doing for him.

He slid on his shoes, put on his coat, and opened the door. As soon as he did, the cold autumn air bit him in the nose. But he didn’t notice, his mind was clouded by other things. Hands in his pockets, he took one step in front of the other. Down the steps, along the path, almost through the porch gates. 

“Dae-Sung.” He stops abruptly, and whirls around faster than the wind that hit him. His mother is standing, about three steps away from him, a plastic container at hand. She has a resigned look in her eyes. She walks the last few steps towards him, and holds the container out to him. Daniel is too shocked to move, but an irritated nudge from his mother brings him back. He takes a hold of the container, his fingers warming up to the touch. His mother pulls away, she won’t meet his eyes. But he wouldn’t be able to even if she could.

“Just… Don’t do anything stupid.” She says, the tone she’s going for was nonchalant, but Daniel recognizes it as something else. It’s the tone she uses when she and his dad have argued. When she’s still mad at him, but still loves him enough to not let him starve. She starts turning and walking back inside.

Daniel doesn’t know what to do, or what to say. So he says the first thing that comes to mind. 

“I love you.” 

His mother stops, not as abruptly as he had, but enough to show that it caught her off guard. 

“I love you…And Dad, a lot. That hasn’t changed. And…I’m sorry…” His words die out. There’s so much more he wants to say. But there’s not enough time, and his mum’s patience has always been pretty thin. Not to mention she’s probably freezing out in this weather without a proper coat on. “You should…um- go back inside now…It’s pretty cold out…so- uh…yeah.”

He turns again, and walks the rest of the way down to the car. He doesn’t look back. Too afraid of what he might see. So he just opens the door to the passenger seat, places his bag on the floor and climbs in quickly. 

Raine’s already turned the car on, she raises an eyebrow in question, and Daniel nods. “I’m all ready.” She nods once in his direction, before stepping on the gas, and pulling out of Daniel’s neighbourhood. 

~ * ~

Their two and a half hour drive is mostly uneventful. Raine cracks a few jokes, Daniel makes a few sarcastic remarks, they both bond over their love of obnoxious eye-rolls, and other than that, it’s quiet. But it’s different. He can hear the car engine, and the sound of the world passing him by on the motorway. Raine had put on the radio, some new pop rock band was playing. It was quiet. Not silent. He liked this. 

About halfway through, Daniel's stomach grumbled. He prayed that Raine was too busy humming to the song on the radio to have noticed. His eyes landed on the plastic container his mum had handed him. He sighed, and opened it. The sweet aroma filled his nose, and he couldn’t help but smile. His mother had made him japchae, his favorite. It reminded him of primary school, when she’d pack him lunch…He almost does cry, but out of pure refusal to let Raine see him like that, he pushes it down. He eats his food, all the while thinking of his mum.

When they finally arrive, they don’t give themselves much time to rest. Frances, Aled, and Carys are all already there, and everyone helps out, carrying all his things to his dorm. They only get about halfway though, before Raine practically collapses onto his new dorm room floor. 

“Jesus fucking Christ! Why the fuck did you get a room that’s so high up?!” She yelled. Her voice was muffled by her scarf, which she had now converted into a makeshift pillow, and was lying face-flat on. 

Aled flopped onto the bed, and Frances dramatically collapsed into the desk chair. Carys leaned against the doorframe and Daniel gently sat down on the bed, next to Aled. Frances looked around the plain white walls, and shuddered. “God. It’s so- plain. It kind of feels like a psych ward…” She turned to Daniel with a sort of pleading look in her eyes. “Please tell me you own posters, or- stickers, or literally anything else to put on these walls.” Daniel smiled, and told her that, no, he was not a psychopath, and did own posters to put on his wall. 

Raine popped up from the floor. “You know what? I’ve decided that I’m really fucking hungry.” She gave her stomach a pet, and stood up. She marched out the door, dragging Carys along with her. “Come on! All of you! We’re getting food!” Carys let out an array of grumbling remarks as she was pulled down the corridor. Frances chuckled and put on her coat to follow them. When she was almost out the door, she looked back at Daniel and Aled. “Aren’t you coming?” She asked. Daniel shook his head and Aled sat up and said he would join them later. Frances shrugged and followed after the two girls. 

This was it. This was where Daniel was going to spend the next two years of his life. Part of him was overwhelmed, the other part was hopelessly excited. 

Aled leaned his head on Dae’s shoulder. “How are you feeling?” Daniel smiled. “A bit sick, honestly.” Aled sat up straight again and raised an eyebrow in his direction. 

“‘A bit sick’?” 

“Yeah, but, you know. The good kind.”

“Dae, I don’t think there is such a thing as the ‘good kind’ of sick.”

“Sure there is. You know, the kind when you’re so excited you feel like vomiting?”

“Personally, I feel like anything that involves vomiting is inherently bad.”

“Well, vomiting actually helps your body get rid of harmful substances, so really-”

“Please refrain from explaining the logistics of vomiting to me- The semester hasn’t even started yet.” 

Daniel smiled and playfully shoved Aled, who made a dramatic display of crashing into the pillow and writhing in pain, while laughing smugly. Daniel smiled and shook his head. “Stop it, you’re acting like a child.” Aled turned his head in the other’s direction, an offended look on his face. “Excuse me. I’m older than you, you know.” Daniel rolled his eyes. “Barely.” He stood up, but before he could take a step, Aled grabbed his wrist and pulled him back into the bed. 

“Aled!” He struggled to get up. But it was Aled on one side, and about a half-meter drop on the other. So his options were limited. Aled - because he's a jackass - laughed. “Why’re you in such a hurry?” “I just- I need to set everything up, just to be safe.” He remarked. Aled let out a sigh and fixed him with a look. “‘Set up’. A week before school officially starts?” “Just to be safe!”

“Just stay for a minute. You haven’t properly sat down in like, five hours.” 

“Not true. I sat in a car for two of those.”

“Exactly. You sat without moving for two and a half hours, then moved too much in the next two and a half. So it's like, tired-squared now.”

“Tired-squared? That does not make even the slightest bit of sense at all.”

“Just stay.”

And, maybe he is a little tired. But it is for that reason, and that reason alone that he decides to stay in bed. It has nothing to do with Aled, or the fact that Daniel is hopelessly in love with him.

Nope. Not at all. 

Aled lay on his back, facing the ceiling. “Frances is right. You need to get some posters up.” Daniel rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Sure, I’ll get to it…eventually.” 

Aled turned over to face him. “You didn’t answer me earlier.” Daniel blinked, a puzzled look on his face. “I asked how you were feeling?” Aled repeated from earlier. 

“Oh. Yeah…” He thought about it. 

“I’m not- I mean- I guess-” He let out an exasperated sigh. “It feels bittersweet.” 

Aled stayed quiet, prompting the other to continue. “I’m excited, about university and all. But…yeah, I’m just sad about my parents.” He looked down at the mattress, but then he looked up again, and met Aled’s eyes. “But I’ve been good. Or- at least better. You’ve all been pretty amazing.” Aled smiles at that. Daniel continues, “You, and Frances. Carys, Raine, Lana, and your grandparents too…You’ve all made me feel better about this.” 

Aled’s smile faltered. “Will you be okay here, on your own?” He didn’t mean to sound patronising, and Daniel knew that. So now it was his turn to smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Besides, you’re only like, an hour and a half away by train. So, yeah. I’ll be fine” 

Aled’s smile returned, and he snaked his arms under Daniel’s, and pulled him into a hug. He buried his face in the others’ shoulder, so his words came out muffled, but still clear enough. “Fuck parents. They all suck anyways.” Daniel let out a laugh. “Except for Lana. She’s an angel.” Daniel rolled his eyes. Aled pulled away, still holding his arms in place, but his face was now a few centimeters away from Daniels’, resting on the pillow they now shared. 

“She’s adopted me.” He said it with the most serious expression ever. And maybe that's what gave him away. “She just doesn’t know it yet.” Aled grinned close-eyed. And- Yeah. Daniel probably wouldn’t ever get tired of that smile. 

He reached out his arms and wrapped them around Aled’s back. He nuzzled his face into the other’s neck. Aled let out a giggle at the ticklish sensation. Daniel smiled. This was nice.

And they lie there. Two boys, in the afternoon sun, hugging, smiling. Inside a white dorm room in Cambridge. Under a sunlit plain ceiling. One of them is smiling, and the other one is wishing. For love and happiness and for this to never end, and neither one lets go. One, because he loves this boy so much, he forgets to hate himself. And the other, because he learned to love himself by loving others. 

~ * ~

It’s almost 7 when Daniel wakes up. He blinks a few times, adjusting his eyes to everything. Aled is lying in front of him, breathing softly. They’re still wrapped in each other's arms, their legs tangled under the blanket he’d thrown over them. He looks at Aled’s face, and he smiles. It’s peaceful. 

The room is quiet. But-

Not silent.

He can hear the cold, gentle autumn breeze, outside the window. 

He can hear the muffled conversations of students, from outside his door. 

He can hear the soft breathing of Aled, lying right here in his arms. 

And yeah. Life is kinda shit right now.  And school starts in a week. And his brain is kinda fucked.

But he’ll be fine. 

Things are not silent anymore. 

They are peaceful

They are quiet.

~ * ~

My babies-

I love them :,)

Thanks for reading!

~ Remzy

Chapter 1 - Silence

[marc--chilton]

it's 3 am and i'm going into wilson's heart

[nomairuins]

season finally time ^_^

[themyscirah]

I know I JUST changed my theme yesterday but this one is even better so like. Bleez hours ig 😈

[yesokayiknow]

#perhaps her emotional support ten#is not having an emotional support ten (via @rabarbermupp)

a clone of ten turns up on martha's doorstep and she's like 👍and immediately posts him to jack

okay but when's martha getting an emotional support ten

[planetpedri]

Arda…. Arda…. They used to date when they were around 16/17 or something and they spot each other and their feelings come rushing back but she lowk ‘hates’ him for ending things with her, so she’s cold, but deep down she knows she still wants him and they can somehow run into each other and he literally won’t let her leave without explaining and it’s this whole thing (whether it be a 2parter filled with angst, or just a oneshot with angst to comfort is up to you)

Right where you left me — Arda Güler.

Pairing: Arda Güler x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a long day at work, the last thing you expected to come home to see was your ex. He couldn’t leave you alone, demanding you talk. And maybe, just maybe, it was for the better.

Disclaimer/s: angst with a hopeful ending

A/N: oh by i actually hate this please forgive me for my sloppy writing today..

Your parents had sent you a text to inform you they had invited some friends over, and you hadn’t thought much of it the whole drive home from work. You’d been too preoccupied with thinking about your day at work, to even think to ask who they’d invited over.

Climbing out of your car, you grab your phone and purse. Your eyebrows furrow as you take in the black SUV, a car that looked all too familiar, but you couldn’t quite place why.

Shaking off the weird feeling that began to form in the pit of your stomach, you open the front door, announcing your arrival. “I’m home!” You yell out, dropping your purse on the floor and slip out of your shoes.

The smell of fresh dinner greets your nose, causing a content sigh to leave your lips. If only that peace would’ve lasted.

Entering the kitchen, you feel your heart stop. The color washes from your face as you take in the scene in front of you.

Arda. Your ex. Standing a few feet away from you, the same expression on his face. His eyes are wide, his heart thumping in his chest, and the color drained from his face.

He was at your house, in your kitchen, and he was surprised to see you?

You clear your throat, eyes snapping to your mom as she’d started to speak. “Hey! How was work hon?” She has a full plate of food in her hand as she looks up at you with a smile, “we’re going out back to eat, plate up!”

“It was okay.” Your voice wavers as you speak, trying to ignore the extra presence in the room. “Okay, I have to shower though..”

“Well! The Güler’s will be here for a bit longer, so take your time.” She presses a kiss to your head before exiting the kitchen, leaving you and Arda and the awkward silence, alone.

Head snapping back in his direction, annoyance consumes you. He, who’d broken up with you on your birthday. He, who’d left you alone in your favorite restaurant to move to another country. He, who had the audacity to stand in your kitchen, and look so much better than the last time you’d seen him. He, who invaded your every thoughts, even now. Even two years later.

A scoff leaves your lips involuntarily. Ridiculous. Shaking your head in disbelief, you turn sharply on your heals, ignoring the way he calls out your name.

You ignore the sound of him shuffling after you, following you back to your bedroom. You’d nearly escaped him, when you feel his fingers wrap around your wrist, gently pulling you to a stop.

“Arda—“ You hiss, “let go of me.”

His lips purse, eyes flickering across your face, eyebrows pulling together. “Talk to me, please.”

You let out a laugh, though no humor was found in it. “Yeah, no. Fuck you.” You snap. “Let. Go.”

Despite your anger, despite it all, you hadn’t tried to get out of his grasp. Because you knew deep down, this is exactly what you’d been waiting for, for years.

“I can’t let you go, we need to talk about this.” He sighs, his grip on your wrist loosening slightly. He hated that you looked at him with all the years of hurt clear in your eyes. He hated that he was the reason for it all.

“You want to talk about this? About how you broke up with me on my birthday? For Gods sake, Arda. Don’t even bother.” You’d given up trying to sound angry, you just sounded.. defeated. Like even this small interaction was taking all your energy.

Arda’s eyes fall to the floor, trailing the wooden pattern. “I’m sorry.” It was a weak apology, but he didn’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry, I screwed up. I know that, but I just—“

“Whatever. Take your weak ass apology and shove it so far up your—“

He cuts you off, your name coming out harsh and uneven of his tongue. “Can we not resort to insults, we’re adults.”

You clamp your eyes shut, your face now full of amusement. “How insanely hypocritical of you. Fuck off.” You finally tug your wrist from his hold, attempting to turn around, but you are stopped once again when he speaks.

“I thought I was doing you a favor.” His voice is quiet, filled with shame and regret. Your back is still to him, eyes staring at the ceiling to try and stop the tears welling up. “I thought that if I broke things off before I left, that it would make the whole thing easier for you. I thought it was what you wanted.”

“Wanted?” You swivel back around, eyes ablaze. “Oh my God! I loved you! Why would I want that?! And on my birthday nonetheless!”

“Because, you always said how much you hated long distance! And I didn’t mean to! But we started arguing and—and it just came out!” Arda’s shoulders slumped, his hands rubbing his face to calm his nerves.

“That’s a stupid excuse.” You roll your eyes, “you are stupid. I would’ve made it work. For you, I would make anything work.”

Would.

Present tense.

Arda’s eyes trail up to yours, staying there until he was certain he hadn’t hallucinated that part. “I’m sorry, I messed things up. I wish I could take it all back. I’d do anything to fix what I broke.”

“Well you can’t. So.. so just leave me alone.” You felt all your energy disperse. You had enough of fighting and enough of him.

Taking a deep breath, Arda nods. “Okay. If that’s what you want, I will.” He stands there, waiting for you to respond. When you don’t, he takes that as his cue to leave.

He slowly turns around, his head down as he makes his way back into the kitchen. “Arda?” You call out, against your better judgement.

The boy stops, his head turning to the side, “yeah?”

“I—“ You hesitate, “I could forgive you.. one day. Just not today.”

The corner of his lip twitches, a small movement, but you caught it. “I’ll see you around then.”

“Yeah, just next time, give me a heads up,” you huff before adding, “idiot.” Just for dramatic effect.

Arda chuckles quietly as he walks away, leaving your heart pounding at the familiar sound. You were maybe being too easy on him, but how could you not? A small part of you still loved him.

DTS , @halfwayhearted !

[hinamie]

ough haven't been unhappy enough with a piece to scrap it entirely in a while that doesn't feel good lmao,,, anyway turns out i lied about the gojo-centric 2parter gomenasorry it's lookin like a solo :'3

[arrixlive]

!!RANT!!

Am i the only one that’s getting tired and annoyed with the show Detective Conan?? Bc it’s been getting on my nerves for like the past few months now, and I’m just so fucking done with it.

1) First of all, the show has been going on for almost 30 years now (keyword almost actually 28 i think) and it’s only been a few months in the series (even tho there are over 1100 episodes which actually means that almost every episode is a day, taking off 2parters and collected episodes, also excluding the movies. Which means it’s technically been around 2 years and/or more)

2) The relationships are starting to get on my nerves as well platonic/romantic and just the complex relationships between side characters and/or Rivals, Like Kaito Kid & Conan. The romantic relationship between Ran and Schinichi is starting to feel absolutely creepy, useless and boring, especially considering Conan is Kinda her brother now, Ran loves Conan as her little brother, while he is technically her boyfriend (see how that is kinda off putting😃)

(i can make an intire post on the Ranshin relationship another time, if people want my opinion)

The characters that suddenly come in and all just start hounding on Conan/Shinichi is also getting really fucking annoying, it’s like it’s starting to turn into a harem but only for… fans…?? Does that make sense? Bc we know Canon is ShinRan but the creator is starting to put A LOT of Coai into the movies and series, and I’m like.. dude… I have no issues with shipping different characters, but that the creator is putting it INTO THE literal anime is kinda annoying, it’s like he’s creating Drama and love triangles on purpose, even tho the anime had NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT??

(Haibara, Sera, Ran, Ayumi and another girl, forgot her name tho. All these characters have interest in schinichi/Coan)

It’s just annoying how Gosho keeps ruining duos and relationships. Like i love the the Kaito kid episodes with Conan, they’re just my favorite, but Gosho pretty much just added Amuro into the loop for no reason?!? Like i just don’t like Amuro (never did, but i didn’t go out of my way to ignore him, he’s important to the story) but adding him into a Rivalry that’s been going on for so long, and has its own special ring to it and special rules between two people with a double life, that only trust each other, when their life depends on it, it just ruined my intire love and experience for the episode.

3)The end?? I literally cannot see a good ending to this show. The only reasonable answer, in my opinion would be: Conan moves back to America and pretty much just loses contact with the others, or he died (doesn’t add up in the end either) and everyone forgets him over time, so schinichi can come back. There literally is no good ending to this show, even if people figured out Conan was schinichi (in fact i think that is the worst ending)

I should probably explain more but I’m kinda in a rush and I’m probably gonna edit this slightly later, but this is already long so if ya have any questions I’ll try to answer and make a post about it, to be more clear

[martyrbat]

shes everything to me btw.

thinking about autistic transfem riddler again...

[sgt-reckless]

I have finished watching all of the RTD and Moffat seasons of Dr Who!

General vibes of each season:

S1: Perfect, No notes

S2: A pretty good season, plays it safer than S1

S3: Marta, my beloved. And we get the master, who is great. An absolutely jam packed last half of the season, from Human Nature 2parter to Blink to finale trilogy

S4: God, I love Donna. Such a season fun. Turn left is one of my favourite episodes of Dr who, easily. The masters Lightning powers are goofy AF.

S5: You can tell everyone is sort of getting used to the change in show runner, don't super love the start of the season but Amy's choice and beyond are all pretty good.

S6: The River Song season! A lot of good episodes, you can Def tell they were having fun here. The season arc is not great though, especially how it resolves.

S7: Easily my least favourite season of pre-chibbnal NuWho. Why are Amy and Rory back? What's the point? It just takes up time from Clara, who I actually quite like in this season, but she Def needs more characterization in this season. Power of Three is a really good episode, minus its real quick ending. Bells of Saint John is such a bad episode.

S8: Pretty solid season, minus two absolute stinkers in the later half (Kill the Moon and In The Forest of The Night). We get missy and Danny pink this season, and more focus on Clara! It's pretty good.

S9: Season 9 is either real good or pretty boring. Hell Bent and Zygon Inversion are stunning episodes, Heaven sent is a nice end to Clara's story. Husbands of River Song is a super nice Christmas episode. Ashildr/Me did nothing for me, I think Maisie Williams was still trying to do that naturistic acting that stuff like she did on GoT and that doesn't super work with the energy of Doctor Who.

S10: My favourite season, not a truly bad episode in there. Worst is probably the Lie of The Land, mostly just BC the ending falls on its face. But every other one hits and hits hard, even like Smile which is a super good filler episode. Twice upon a time is a very nice final episode.

[flora-bigs]

wait this is THE googirl paste i forgot it was a 2parter (this is part 1)

[ze-land-fill]

The Difference Between Quiet and Silence - A Radio Silence FanFic

Chapter 1 - Silence

Warnings - Mental health issues - Internalized homophobia - Self-hatred - Parental issues - Anxiety - Implied suicidal thoughts - Homophobia

Ships - Daled (Daniel x Aled)

Type - Comfort/Hurt (yeah you read that right)

Adittional Tags - Daniel-centric - Unconventional romace - unconventional relationship - Canon-compliant - Post-canon -

Word count - 5,045

~ * ~

Summary:

He almost does reach for the door. Until he feels a cold, sweaty hand, slide into his own trembling fingers. And Aled just looks at him with an uncertain smile.

~

It's silent. So horribly silent. He hates it. If you'd have told Daniel he would hate silence back in April, he would've laughed at you and called you crazy. Why would he hate silence?! He could do well, study, think, he couldn't do that with noise. But he did, and it was so silent. Too silent-

And then it wasn't.

OR

Daniel meets Aled's Grandparents. Gets really sad. Talks to Aled about the sad.

~ * ~

“Are you sure about this?” 

Daniel shifted nervously as he walked down the sidewalk. Aled right next to him. “Of course! I was nervous about meeting them too, but Carys convinced me they'd be okay with me. And she was right!” Aled smiled, but Daniel could feel the air of nervousness surrounding him. 

It was one thing to meet your grandparents and have them be happy that you left your toxic mum. It was a different thing entirely to bring home a boyfriend on your second visit. Who knew how they'd react!

“Aled…There's something we need to talk abou-” “ Dae! We're here!” Aled halted in front of the wooden porch, it was barely past three, but the lights were on, and there were voices coming out of the slanted window. 

Aled started walking up the steps to the door. Daniel froze at the bottom of the steps. 

This could go so bad- so incredibly horribly bad . His breathing quickened, but he turned his focus on Aled, he’d worn a beige jumper and grey jeans. 

For once, his outfit hadn't been picked out by Daniel. Aled had chosen this outfit on his own. Daniel's brows furrowed. When he'd asked about the outfit, Aled had simply said it was because he was still warming up to his grandparents, and wanted to take things slow. It was odd. The outfit seemed…unnatural, on Aled. Aled with his bright pink hair, that flowed past his shoulders. Aled with his lime green Plimsolls… Daniel would never admit it out loud, but a part of him had come to adore the weird outfits. He would often catch himself staring for a little too long at a character or the embroidered patterns. It was almost endearing. 

The turn of a lock brought him back from his thoughts. His breathing had gone back to normal, but he was just as tense. Carys opened the door a little, as if to see if she knew us or not, before quickly opening it up all the way. 

“Aled!” She leaned in for a hug, and Aled hugged right back. “Hi Carys.” He whispered. As they pulled away, Carys tilted her head and smiled at Daniel. “Hey, Daniel.” A little jolt went through him, and he reached for the back of his neck before saying, “Well, it's actually…Dae-Sung…now.” He met her eyes, and let out a cough “Or…Dae is fine too.” 

She stared at him, blinked a few times and just shrugged. “Sure. Welcome, Dae.” A little flame lit inside him, he was proud of this. Proud of his name. He smiled, and stepped inside the house. 

The flame snuffed out real quick though. Mrs. Wilson walks into the hallway from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. It's pink, with frills on the straps, and an embroidered kitten on the front. And suddenly, Aled's sense of style makes so much more sense. She looks up and smiles when she sees them, hurriedly walks over and grabs Aled in a hug. Her shiny brown curls bouncing along to her movement. “Oh, Allie! It's lovely to see you again!” She says it with a posh, West-London accent. As she pulls away, she holds on to Aled's shoulders, takes a long look at his face, before tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. “Your hair's getting long…” 

Aled's eyes widen, and he nearly pushes her away- but she chuckles. “My goodness, with healthy hair like yours, it might even outgrow mine soon! Make sure not to damage it too much with that dye!” She smiles. Then claps her hands, “A’right then! Well, don't just stand there, come on in!” She cheerfully says as she goes back into the kitchen, Carys following behind. 

Daniel blinks after her. She's like a fantastic tornado - literally, that's the only way to describe her - But she doesn't do much to ease his nerves. He doesn't want to be here anymore. Not after that, seeing how kind she was. What if she gets angry. It would be better to leave now, while the illusion is still there. While the only thoughts he associates with her is the pink, frilly apron, and the bouncy, curls, and that lovely smile. 

He almost does reach for the door. Until he feels a cold, sweaty hand, slide into his own trembling fingers. And Aled just looks at him with an uncertain smile.

And one part of Daniel is so scared, for Aled, and for himself, because he doesn't want Aled to lose this new family. He just found them- He deserves stability, and love, from family. 

But the other part of him, is melting. Because this is the first time, since that night a few months ago, in his uni dorm, that they've held hands. The first time Aled , has held his hand. 

And he feels like - even just for a second - they might be okay.

They walk into the kitchen, hands still entwined. Neither has bothered to take off their jacket. Just in case things go south. 

Carys looks between them, before her eyes land on their hands, and she gives a reassuring smile. “Grammy, Gramps, I think Aled has something to tell us.” Mr. And Mrs. Wilson put down what they're doing and turn their attention toward the two boys. “Yes, Dear?” She asks. 

Aled swallows, it's audible. He starts blinking rapidly, and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He looks like he might cry right there. Daniel sees all of this, he knows it, every line of worry. Every furrow in his brow. The way he blinks rapidly to get rid of the tears. And Daniel can't take it. 

He lets go of Aled's hand and raises it in greeting. “I'm Dae-Sung, or, er…Dae.” He says, Mrs. Wilson smiles in greeting, and Mr. Wilson nods at him, but they seem like they're waiting for something more. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Aled turning towards him. He does the same, and smiles. Hoping with all his being that Aled can read his eyes and understand. ‘It's okay’ he thinks. ‘You don't have to tell them if you don't want to’. He turns back to the grandparents. “I'm Aled's best frie-”

“He's my boyfriend!” 

And Daniel freezes. He turns towards Aled, but now he's the one smiling up at him. Aled takes a hold of his hand again. And Daniel really can't decide whether he's happy or sad. In all honesty, he feels sick, like he might throw up, but, like, as if he's going to throw up rainbows and glitter. 

It's silent. So horribly silent. He hates it. If you'd have told Daniel he would hate silence back in April, he would've laughed at you and called you crazy. Why would he hate silence?! He could do well, study, think, he couldn't do that with noise. But he did, and it was so silent. Too silent-

And then it wasn't.

A smug smile spread across Mr. Wilson's face. “Mary~” he turned to his wife and wiggled his eyebrows “Guess who won~” Mrs. Wilson dramatically placed her head in her hands, and groaned loudly. “God, Allie!” 

Aled looked up at the mention of his name. His grandmother had this feigned look of desperation on her face. “Why didn't you bring a best friend instead!” Aled just looked between his grandparents and then at Daniel, who had a sort of, shocked expression frozen on his face. He pointed to Daniel and was about to say something, but he was interrupted.

“Mary! Don't blame the poor boy! Now…about those 20 quid…” he smirked again. With a groan, she pulled out a note from her dress pocket. But before Mr. Wilson had a chance to take it, Carys chimed in. “Well, technically Dani- Dae, is also Aled’s best friend, so…” Mary lit up, and snatched the £20 note back. “Hear that Rob! Guess that makes this a tie!” She smiled smugly and laughed with her head held high. Mr. Wilson quickly shoots Carys a dirty look, which she replies with by sticking her tongue out at him. They both smile and laugh along with Mrs. Wilson.

Aled and Daniel still stand in front of the door frame. Stunned. It takes a minute for them to break out of it. “You…knew?” Aled asked. The three stopped laughing, and Mr. Wilson fixed him with a sympathetic look. “No, Son. But it wasn't hard to tell. I mean, you've been holding hands practically since you walked in. We just wanted to mess with you a little!”

Mrs. Wilson walks over to them. “Oh, I'm sorry Dearies, I hope we didn't make you feel like we would be upset.” Aled looks like he might cry again, but happy tears this time. Mrs. Wilson gently puts a hand on Daniel's shoulder. “Oh, Dae. It’s lovely to finally get to meet you! We've heard wonderful things.” 

And he keeps himself together, but as Daniel watches Aled hug Mrs. Wilson like his life depends on it, silently crying into her shoulder…he can't help but want to do the same.

~ * ~

Dinner arrived quickly. One minute, they're all laughing and talking, next minute, they're doing the same, but with plates of food in front of them. 

“So, Dae, I heard you got into Cambridge.” Robert (he insisted Dae call him that) asked. That little fire starts again, that pride, that he accomplished it. “Yes sir. King's College.” Robert choked on his food, and coughed violently before taking a sip of water. “My God, Carys! You said he was smart, not a damn genius!” He turned towards Carys, who sat to the left of Aled, Daniel on his right. “So, what are you studying, Son?” He asked. Daniel simply replied, “Biology.” It was a standard answer, lots of people answered that, he never expected any proper reaction. Though he should've.

Robert's eyes widened, as did his smile, and with it, a smugness. “Well, You listen here Dae. When you go on to become one of those, big-name scientists, pay me a visit to make sure I get to humble you properly.” Daniel blinked and looked down at his food, embarrassed, no one had ever actually said they believed he could be a real scientist. It was honestly kind of surreal. And then, as the embarrassment faded, he felt sadness. No one had ever believed in him like that. Not even his mum or dad. 

He shook his head, and pushed the thoughts away, ‘not now' and he focused on the conversation instead. “So, Allie, how're you settling into your new apartment? Everything going smoothly?” Robert asked. Aled nodded “Yep, Frances and I've been settling in fine. But there's a lightbulb we really need to fix.” Robert scratched his beard, as if in thought. “Oh! I have a friend, down in Kent that can look at it for you. I'll call him tomorrow morning.” 

Aled doesn't get the chance to answer before Mary sits down at the table, “Speaking of which. You have to bring Frances with you, some time as well, I've been wanting to meet her ever since you told us about her!” Aled smiled. “Sure, Grammy I'll bring her next time. And thanks Gramps, I'll try to fix it myself first though.”

Conversations flowed on. Stories were told, jokes were passed, they even talked about their future plans. And before they knew it, dinner was over.

~ * ~

Daniel stood, rinsing the dishes and placing them in the dishwasher. It had taken a lot of insisting, persuasion (and a little guilt-tripping) to get Mary to let him do the dishes and for her to go relax in the lounge. Aled was leaning against the counter, arms lazily folded, and head resting against the cabinets. 

“You wanted to talk?” That's right. Daniel had asked to speak to him in the kitchen about something important. “Hmm? Oh. Yeah…” He didn't really feel like killing the mood, so he just said they'd talk later. 

“Hey…” he started, “Thanks for coming with me today.” Aled is smiling, and Daniel rolls his eyes. “Are you sure it was a good idea?” He asks, half-sarcastic. Aled's brows furrow, “Yes? Why wouldn't I want you here?” He asked. Daniel continued on with his dishes but still spoke, his back facing Aled. “Well, it really just seemed like you would've been way less scared if I hadn't come along, so…” Aled blinked, before speaking again, sounding more annoyed than before. “So…what? Would it have been better if you hadn't come?” Daniel stops, inspecting a plate, it seemed already pretty well rinsed. But he mumbles his answer out loud “You wouldn't have had to explain us if I hadn't.”

He did that sometimes. Didn't quite fully believe that this was real. That Aled actually loved him. Sometimes it really seemed like maybe he was pretending, for his sake. Even after that night in April. It shouldn't be hard. He shouldn't doubt Aled's love. When it's really the only one he has right now…

Aled lets out an exasperated sigh, “Dae, I can't believe you.” He annoyedly starts walking out of the kitchen, and for a second, Daniel thinks he's had enough. Like he's actually walking out, like he realized his mistake and is walking away from him. But Aled simply says. “I'm going to sit in the lounge.” Which, Daniel can interpret as ‘I do not want to speak with you right now’.

A little part of him, admittedly, is proud. Over the past few months, Aled's gotten better at communicating how he's feeling, he's gotten better at telling people what he needs and doesn't need. And as much as it hurts being shut out by him, it also makes him happy that at least he can tell him to stay away.

He hears laughter coming in from the lounge. He's finished his dishes, and is about to go in there, when he hears it. Aled's laugh. He hasn't laughed in a while, or maybe he has, but just not with him. When he looks into the lounge, he sees them. All of them, sitting on the couches, seemingly nothing but their bright emerald eyes in common with each other. They've only known Carys for maybe three years, they've only known Aled for a few months. But they all look so happy, like they've always been like this. 

And then it sinks in, for Daniel, it sinks and sinks into the bottomless pit in his gut. And realization crawls out of it. No matter how nice Carol was to him, No matter how understanding Lana was towards him. Not even how absolutely wonderful the Wilsons have been to him. 

This is not his family, it's not his love to have, he is nothing to them, except their grandson's boyfriend. 

He feels sick. That word. Boyfriend . He doesn't even know what it means anymore… He looks at Aled, close-eyed grin, bright across his face. And suddenly, Daniel doesnt feel welcome here anymore. He feels like he's intruding. Like a rock, flying towards a mirror. He needs to leave, he needs to get out. Needs to get the rock away. Throw it in a different direction. 

He broke a mirror once, he can't do it again.

He enters the hallway, voices still coming from the lounge, he pulls his coat on, and puts on his shoes. And silently leaves the house. 

He walks down the street for a bit. The sun’s gone down and the streetlights Are his only source of light. It's not cold, it's still summer. But the breeze isn't exactly tropical either. He doesn't really know where he's going, and a little part of him doesn't care. He comes to the end of the street, and he recognizes the road to the left, it goes to Frances and Aled's new apartment. He could go there. 

As soon as he thinks it, that thought is gone. Of course he can't got to Frances’ house, he's  not good enough friends with her, to be able to just show up at her house, unannounced. He looks to his right, where the road leads to the local park. And- Oh, God- What the hell. He gives up and starts walking towards the park. What's to stop him? 

He enters through the gate, and looks around. It's a very small park, with a playground, to the right of the entrance. Daniel walks over to it, hands in his pocket. He sits down at one of the swings. It moves a little with the addition of weight. 

His leg starts bouncing on the ground. And he hates it. Hates how his leg bounces when he's anxious. Hates how he can't ever seem to be genuinely nice to someone. Hates that he fell in love with Aled. Hates that he is gay. Hates that he couldn't just be exactly how people wanted him to be. Hates that he disappointed his parents. Hates that he keeps being a horrible person. Hates that he cries, that his breathing quickens and he can't think straight and everything hurts and he hates it. So so much. He hates so much about himself. He hates himself.

It's pathetic. And he knows , okay?! He knows it's pathetic. That he’s pathetic. But despite it, he still puts his head in hands,

And cries .

~ * ~

Aled quickly walked around the neighbourhood. He'd gotten up to get water, (his excuse to try and talk to Dae) only to discover that Daniel had since left the house. His shoes and coat were gone, and soon enough Aled was out the door as well.

This was not what he wanted. He just- Why did Dae always have to think that this wasn't real?! It was. He didn't understand how much he really did mean to Aled. And it hurts. But he didn't mean for this to happen! 

Aled bit his lip, hands in his pockets and hurrying down the street. He got to the T-intersection, the road to the left leading down to his new apartment. Dae could've gone there…

Before he gets the chance to turn and walk. He hears the squeak of chains in they're hinges. He turns around abruptly, and sees someone in the playground, through the fence. Aled rushes in the other direction and towards the gate. And bursts through it. Sure enough, on the swings at the end of the playground, is Daniel. 

He's hunched over on it, hands holding the chain weakly. And he's slowly swinging back and forth. As if the only thing really pushing him was the light breeze. Aled slowly advances, and sits down as gently as he can on the swing next to Daniel. Gently . As if he might scare away a frightened animal. 

“Hi.” He started. Daniel's head jerked up, as if he really hadn't heard him come in and sit down next to him. He turns his head so fast,  Aled's afraid he might get whiplash. But that thought is quickly trampled over with concern. His eyes are puffy, the skin beneath them red, irritated from rubbing at them too hard, and there's still some wayward tears running down his cheeks. 

Instinctively, Aled reaches out his hand towards Daniel's face. But before he can get too close, Daniel turns away, and quickly wipes away the tears with his coat sleeve. Without turning back, he asks, slowly - like he doesn't really trust his voice right now - “What are you doing here?” 

And it sounds shaky and Aled is so scared. And he doesn't want to push, because he doesn't want Dae to just leave, so he answers. “I- I came looking for you. You- er- you left, really suddenly.” “I- yeah. Sorry, I- I needed some air, and- I mean, your grandparents were kind of overwhelming, y'know.” He turns towards him, and smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and Aled frowns. Because just as Daniel had read his expression earlier, Aled could do the same. Dae had been crying, over what, he didn't know. 

And then he did. 

“I'm really sorry about what I said. I didn't mean to get upset with you, I just- you really need to know that I do care about you. Like, a lot. And I do love you, romantically. But I know I shouldn't have gotten so upset, I haven't really been that good at showing it-” 

“Stop it.” Daniel says, the smile's a little more genuine and he is finally meeting Aleds eyes. “I'll admit, I was a prick for saying that. But I really wasn't mad about what you told me. I was actually kind of proud.” He said, calmly, his voice evening out more. Aled had a confused look on his face which prompted Daniel to continue. “You've gotten much better at letting people know how you feel about things, in the past months. And honestly, it felt better knowing you were upset with me, rather than just saying you were fine when you weren't.” And he meant it. For any other couple, it would be an odd thing to be happy about, but Daniel and Aled had never been a conventional couple anyway.

Aled stared. “That's such a weird thing to be happy about.” he smiled, and Daniel rolled his eyes. 

“Character development. Better than leaving someone on read in real life.” 

“I believe the term you're looking for is, ‘Ghosting’ someone.” 

“Putting that English Lit major to use then?” 

Aled coughed comically. “Drop-out, and yes. I am pretty good with words.” 

Daniel cocked an eyebrow, in a way that said ‘are-you-actually-being-serious-right-now’

Aled just smiled and rolled his eyes. “I said I was good with words. Not that I was good at communicating them!” 

They laughed together, and for a moment things seemed okay. “So, you're not angry because of me?” Aled asked, still uncertain. But Daniel shook his head. “I wasn't really angry about anything. Just…upset…” things stay quiet for a few minutes. And as Aled is about to say something, Daniel beats him to it. 

“You know how I said I needed to talk to you about something.” He starts. Aled nods in reply and says, “You said you didn't want to kill the mood.” Daniel scoffs, “I'd say the mood is pretty dead now though.” Aled shrugged. “I wouldn't say that. It's just a litt-”

“I came out to my parents.” 

Aled freezes. His brain stops for a second and all he can hear is the rapid pace of his heartbeat. And all he can see is Dae, head cast low and his grip tightening on the chains. 

He blinks a few times, processes what he’s just heard, but he doesn't say a word. Not because he lacks them. No, there are a hundred questions he could ask right now. But he doesn't say anything. 

Mr. and Mrs. Jun never displayed any obvious dislike towards the LGBTQ+ community. Then again, they never displayed any fondness of it either. So when Aled asks, - after carefully selecting his words - how it went, his heart drops at the expression that shadows Daniel's face. 

He doesn't say anything, so Aled opts for a different question. “When did you, erm…come out?” Daniel kicked the rough ground and sighed deeply. “Two months before graduation. Not long after we got you back.” Aled just nodded, a single “oh” escaping his lips, as he turned to face the ground. 

“Did you tell them about…us?” It's a whisper, barely audible if they hadn't been the only ones there. Aled's question lingered, and its reply came right after, just as low, barely audible. “Yes…” 

Daniel didn't say more. Aled didn't pry. The bright lights of downtown London lit up the sky in blinding shades of neon. There were no stars. There never were in London. It's one of those things that made them miss Truham. A small village like it didn't have nearly as much light pollution. You could gaze at the stars from a field, or under the glaring glow of a streetlight, and still the universe could make you feel small. Like your story was insignificant. Just a blur of colour and darkness, melted among others just like it.

Aled had given up on getting answers, and had raised his head towards the sky. As if by some magic, the clouds would clear and the city would black out. But the jingle of chains turned his attention back to Daniel. 

“When I told them…” he started, breathing heavily with each sentence he muttered. “They were…really upset.” Aled’s breath hitched, but Daniel continued. “They were so angry. They told me that I was wasting everything they'd worked for, everything they stood for.” His voice started to waiver, but he evened it out quickly. “And then I told them about you- about us . And- I- my Dad-” 

His leg started bouncing, Daniel took a hand off one of the chains, and forcefully placed it on top of his knee, pushing it to stay till. He took a few shallow breaths before moving on. “He started going off on you. And- and he said such awful things about you. And I just stood there…I was so… shocked . I'd never seen my parents so angry about something. And the whole time; when they were shouting at me, when they told me to get out of their sights, and that whole night…I wanted to melt away. I wanted to literally just disappear…”

His voice starts to shake again, but this time he doesn't try to hide it. Tears pool at the brim of his eyelid. Aled wants so badly to just, reach out towards Dae, and hug him tightly, and refuse to let go until all those horrible feelings just, leave him alone. He doesn't get the chance to. Daniel tells him the rest. In that horrible , warbling voice.

“The next morning- they were silent. They didn't talk to me. They didn't say a word at all. They pretended like I didn't exist .” The tears spill. “I- I thought it would go over after a while…but-” his breath hitched as a sob escaped his lips. “It never did. I tried talking to them…” he coughed out a dry laugh, it had a cruel edge to it. “...but they'd just look the other way.”

He's trying to hide his sobs. And wiping at his cheeks. And to Aled- It hurts to watch. This is his best friend. His boyfriend. The one person who's known every secret, every whisper, every lovely moment he’s ever had. And he's sitting in front of him, so, incredibly hurt, and- God! He can't stand it. 

He stands up, and quickly walks over to Daniel, and stands in front of him. He reaches his hands out in front of him, as Daniel makes a futile attempt to wipe away his tears. He looks at the outstretched hands, then up at the glowing face looking down at him. And he smiles.

But not a happy smile. No. This one is bitter. “You want to know what the worst part was?” he didn't take the hands. Instead he pulled himself upright with the chains. “I think it would've been better if they'd just kicked me out.” Aled flinched. Dae sounded so- tired . “At least then, there wouldn't be any doubt, y’know? I'd know that they hated me. And never wanted to see me again.” He hated that Aled saw him like this. But in that very moment. 

He didn't care. 

“But like that. Them, always there, in my reach, but just always out of it. It hurt, so much more… Because that meant that they didn’t want me gone…but they didn't want me around either. And I love them- I really do still love them! They’re my mum and dad- They mean more to me than they’ll ever know…But it hurts. And I'm sad, and I’m upset- and just-”

He meets Aled’s eyes, with his own glossy ones. “...I’m angry…I’m angry at how it turned out…I’m angry at myself, for being this way…” 

Aled’s heart breaks a little. He opens his mouth to say something. But Dae’s already ahead of him.

“An-and I know it’s not my fault for being the way that I am! But…I can’t help thinking that everything would’ve been better if I just- wasn’t!” His voice is louder now, and he’s not meeting Aled’s eyes anymore. He’s sad, and angry, and upset, and- so, so tired.

Yeah. That’s right. He’s tired. He’s fucking tired. He’s tired of living in silence. He’s tired of feeling like a stranger in his own home. He’s tired of school, and graduation, and his parents missing his life. He’s tired of only having himself to blame for that. He’s tired of pulling Aled into his messes. And tired of feeling like everything is temporary. Like what he does have now- His friends, His smarts, His boyfriend- It's all temporary. He’s tired of ruining everything for himself, because of that fear, because of that feelling . That everything he has is just temporary . 

He is so tired. So fucking tired. So tired of himself .

~ * ~

Daniel doesn’t know how much he says in his head, and how much he says out loud. But what he does know, is that Aled is hugging him. And Aled is crying, and Daniel is too. He’s grabbing at Aled’s jacket, and he’s pushed his face into Aled’s shoulder. He’s shaking, and he feels like he might fall apart any second. But Aled’s here, Aled is hugging him, and at least he’ll catch him, if he does fall apart.

He hates himself right now. So very much. But he loves Aled too. And sometimes he hates himself for loving Aled. But he loves Aled. That much, he knows is true. So for the first time - in a long time - He lets himself fall apart, right there, in Aled’s arms. And Aled catches him, and he doesn’t let go. 

And they sit there. Two boys, in the dark, hugging, crying. In a neighbourhood playground in Hampstead. Under the cloudy neon sky. One of them is sobbing, and the other one is whispering. Reassurance and fear and love and truth, and neither one lets go. One, because he can’t stand to lose someone else he loves. And the other, because he can’t stand to see his loved one lose himself. 

~ * ~

... It's sad.... dont worry tho, next chapter is less sad and more hurt/comfort.

PLUS FLUFF

Thanks for reading! :) ~ Remzy

Chapter 2 - Quiet

[13uswntimagines]

Fun fact- while there isn’t a word limit on tumblr, there is a text section limit.

I guess the Lindsey fic just became a 2parter….

The question is if I post it all at once, or leave a cliff hanger: