#21 year old me was much much more mentally ill

[remcycl333]

Void/LOA success by 💇‍♀️anon

This post is gonna be a bit lengthy , blunt and unbelievable 😭 also very sloppily written cause i’m havijh so much fun. i really have got out of my comfort zone and I’m so happy i did. No you do not have to follow every step I did! This is simply for motives and inspo.

So, yeah it's obvious i was one who struggled with void and loa blah blah blah for a LONG TIME! I was a hardcore druggie, physical and mentally abused all my life, had a very rare illness and so much more. But who gaf ab the old story. ☠️

So after a day of sending that cringe ass message to u i ended up prioritizing myself. It’s clear I was idolizing void and I’ve been doubting in LOA too like ??? So in the 3D i moved in with my one and only friend, got a job at a fastfood place (pls this is sorta embarrassing), and decided homeschool was much better for me. Also between that time I learned how to correctly manifest and shiz by you and @theandreiaeffect<3. And girlllll literally less than the next week I manifested perfect mental and physical health, my dream job, desired appearance, and 7,000,000$ with a 15,000,000$ home me and my bestie now live in. I was already so happy how it was. Yet after that crazy ass week passed by i woke up in the fucking void. I have no clue how but i did.

Now for what I manifested in void.

- ‘i heard a rumor’ power - a power of this girl from a netflix show. basically you say ‘i heard a rumor ____’ and it happens. its like a brainwash power? its simple to explain but idk. (If u watch that show my fav character is klaus whats urs?)

- Time travel(?) - so when i got in void it was prolly like september 11th 2022. i just said in the void ‘it is August 30th’ and when i woke up it was august 30th as you can tell so now I’m just relapsing my days but in a goodway.

- changed family - my bestie is like family and i changed her appearance to her desired appearance, more cousins, siblings, aunts etc. my dad being a famous nfl star.

- Revenge - basically just fucking with my abusers life the same way they fucked with mine. I have no regrets so🤷‍♀️

- Name and age revision - I always hated my full name so i changed it. I was 17 and just revised that i’m 21. yeah it was a big gap but idc it was worth it for me honestly. i also manifested i’m not gonna die till like 90 and age like wine so.

- a bf- oh let me tell u. i’ve always had a crush on ralph macchio. and now i have a boyfriend who is his twin but even more attractive. his personality and the way he showers me with love is mwah.

- Removing phobias - i’ve always been scared of animals🤦‍♀️ not anymore tho now i have 2 cute lil puppies and a parrot:)

- Vegan restaurants and shops opening up close to me - I’ve been vegan since the beginning of the year due to animal cruelty and just not enjoying meat.

- Immune from getting preggo til 25 - its self explanatory what i be doing but i’m not ready for a baby yet so🤫

- Being protected and safe 24/7 - anyone around me also is aswell its like a invisible barrier to danger

Now those are just a handful of what I manifested. I literally manifested sooooo many other priv things. Just get ur shit together. I have nothing else to tell u. Honestly idk how LOA coaches don’t get fed up with y’all constantly crying ab how u dont got ur shit when u are the reason why. U have a cheatcode to life. Not many people are spiritually awoken. Do you know how fortunate you are to have discover LOA???? Keep this in mind and maybe ya know manifest ur dream life. To Rem, I thought I’d be on tumblr way longer as your anon, but I’d rather go live my life to the fullest for a while. I hope my story leaves an imprint on the LOA community. Andreia, you have also really inspired me. I’m so fucking happy I made a whole 180 with my life. Rem and Andreia, i will NEVER forget what you have done for me. Thank you so much really. I love u guys so much🥲🥲

yesss im so proud of u!!! when u said u traveled back in time from september i got the chills! and baby go live your life and enjoy it, you deserve it!!! come back whenever u want and update us <3

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson, catching up

Study In Scarlet part 1: 1880 I’ve been neglecting my correspondence (emails) and decided to start my Holmes reread today, with some good old fashioned deductive speculation and some context, in case anyone else is also reading along a month late. Please bear with me as I neglect to commit to either a Watsonian (these are real people who we can learn biographical data about) or a Doylist (remember this is just a book and we should just relax) point of view. If your mental image of Holmes and Watson are either Robert Downey Junior and Jude law, or Jeremy Brett and David Burke, you will probably be surprised at how young these two probably are.

Preliminary evidence: Our Friends’ ages

- Watson was wounded at the battle of Maiwand, fought July 27 1880, ill for months, plural, and the journey back to england took a month. At the very earliest he started looking for lodgings in November 1880 - He would have been at medical school for at least two, probably three years before finishing in 1878. It is unlikely, though not impossible, that he would have started his course of study significantly before reaching his twenties. For historical comparison, Dr. James Barry, also an army surgeon with a degree from a British medical school, started his course of study at the age of approximately twenty, and became an army surgeon at about 23. (Although Dr. Barry died in 1865 it’s unlikely that there would be a huge difference in how long their courses of study took.) People seem to have gone directly to medical school instead of doing other university courses first.  - While he could be older, could be slightly younger. Watson is probably around twenty five. - Holmes is still taking university courses, erratically, and although we don’t get any timeline of his studies, he’s probably not older than Stamford, who was a surgeon’s assistant when Watson worked with him at St. Bartholemew’s Hospital, and presumably still works there given how much he knows about Holmes’ use of the chemical labs. “Young” Stamford is likely a few years younger than Watson.  - Like Watson Holmes probably started his studies in his very late teens or early twenties. The age of getting a degree could and did vary during the 1800s from our current conception of who’s the right age to be in college (with people somewhat more likely to be sent off to secondary education slightly younger than seventeen or eighteen than they are now, and also plenty of instances of people starting college later than we usually expect from someone who is headed directly there after their childhood studies and before their first adult career) but the important thing here is that Holmes appears to be in charge of his own finances, and the age of majority for Victorian men was 21.  - Holmes has pretty much got to be somewhere between 20 and 25. My money is on him being 22-23 (because he does already have a reputation, as we shall see, he has completed at least a year of study during the time he was friends with Victor Trevor, and because he appears to complete, or give up, his coursework between the end of Study in Scarlet and any other case Watson witnesses) and on Watson being 24-26. - For context, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote this story at age 27 in 1886. It’s not unreasonable to assume that, despite timeline weirdness (He was born in 1859, as Holmes might have been, but he will obviously always set his writing in the past), Holmes and Watson are going to age more or less with him.  - I have only vague memories of the Baring-Gould chronology for this series but I think it agrees with me in that regard. Baring-Gould thinks Holmes is about two or three years older than I think Holmes is, though. 

Conclusion: My sympathies to Mrs. Hudson, these boys are going to be the death of a decent amount of your furniture. 

[pedrito-friskito]

the way we were / the way we are - masterlist

you met Bucky between the bookshelves. he stole your heart beneath starry skies. it was a match made in heaven, but fate had other plans.

(Bucky Barnes x reader fic; this story follows the general timeline of the MCU - with some obvious differences. I'm horrible at writing summaries, but essentially this encompasses all the versions of Bucky we all know from the movies and show: the all-American military man, The Winter Soldier, the semi-stable 100-year-old man, the White Wolf, and beyond. Reader becomes a variation of the super-soldier)

A/N: this fic is posted in full (incomplete right now) on ao3! link is here! I haven’t worked on it in a while but I am determined to finish it eventually. it was the first fic I ever posted online and what got me back into fanfiction and eventually lead me back to tumblr lol so be gentle! this is a fix-it fic (of sorts - I didn’t change everything)

warnings/notices: smut, fluff, falling in love, some chapters deal with Bucky’s PTSD/mental illness after being the Winter Soldier. all violence depicted is canon-typical for the most part, chapters will have warnings but if you can handle the MCU, you should be okay here!

there is use of y/n - it was all the rage when I started writing this LOL I might phase it out in future chapters but it’s sticking for the time being (if that’s not your jam, all my other fics/oneshots do NOT use y/n so check those out if you like!)

chapter titles are song lyrics - the updated spotify playlist is here.

*chapters w/ smut are marked w/ a “*”!!

chapters (chronologically by movie):

the first avenger:

1 - the first time ever I saw your face

2 - take this heart of gold and melt it down*

3 - I got soul but I’m not a soldier

4 - if I should go before you

5 - tell me where your heart is

6 - is there somebody who can watch you

7 - when you hear my voice, when you say my name*

8 - these days are numbered

the avengers:

9 - this world is not my home

the winter soldier:

10 - back in my body

11 - how many times can I break till I shatter

12 - what am I here for

age of ultron:

13 - when the night is over

14 - nothing left for you

civil war:

15 - way down we go

16 - judgement day*

17 - you can never break the chain

18 - nobody teaches you to hurt like this

19 - sad, beautiful, tragic

20 - whatever helps you sleep at night

infinity war:

21 - I could use somebody

22 - when it feels like this

23 - make this go on forever

24 - if we had five more minutes

25 - do you want to die together?

endgame:

26 - but I’m forever missing him (and you caused it)

27 - are you really gonna love me when I’m gone?

28 - okay, fine, maybe I’m just a little nostalgic

29 - every night I’m dancing with your ghost

30 - taking care of soulfight

31 - soldier, poet, king

32 - home is wherever I’m with you

33 - you’re the one who breaks my heart right

the falcon and the winter soldier:

34 - I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending

35 - give me a minute to hold my girl

36 - it’s not easy to be me

37 - I try to be happy but it’s hard sometimes

38 - it wasn’t easy to be happy for you

39 - try not to abuse your power

40 - let’s fall in love for the night

41 - need the sun to break

42 - not ready to make nice

43 - too much is never enough

44 - the man who can’t be moved

45 - nothing fucks with my baby

46 - I was far too scared to hit him…

47 - …but I would hit him in a heartbeat now

48 - that funny feeling

49 - easy on me

[teddybearty]

not sure if you're still doing it but yasuhiro hagakure for the bingo?

I don't have too much to say about this man but yah I love him.

He's just a funney guy that overexaggerates sometimes and honestly I like him!! I kinda feel like the fandom ships him with his classmates and thinks its okay when??? It isn't???

Hiro admits that he's 21 at the start of the game, keep in mind that they have their memories erased so he's actually older than that. The rest of his classmates are freshman in high school.

In America, there is four grades in high school (9th - 12th) but in Japan, it's typically three (10th - 12th). So they believe they are 10th graders (15 - 16 years old), which means they are 5 to 6 years younger than Hiro. This age gap would be fine if they were adults but that is not the case.

I'll admit, I'm a fool and I shipped Hiro and Byakuya at a point when I first stepped in the fandom but I really only ship Daiyakure because they are MOST LIKELY around the same age (Daiya's dead but we're not focused on that)

Okay okay, enough of me rambling on about shipping.

Hiro doesn't do too much in terms of plot but he doesn't really??? Need to??? He's pretty serviceable as comic relief to alleviate the seriousness as the cast decreases.

Some people say that Hiro and Taka should've swapped and honestly??? I don't see how that would've worked. I mean sure, we'll still have Hina and Toko that could work as comic relief but if the events of the game stayed the same then I'm sure Aoi wouldn't work since she's gonna get serious when the events of chapter four take place and Toko...I don't know about that one. She's was already a bit of punching bag in chapter two, it feels wrong shifting her to be more comedic, we get that from Jack I guess but...I don't know.

Using someone with mental illness as a punching bag and a joke is never okay.

My point is that Hiro's alright and I feel like the game's artists should've looked up some black hairstyles for him. Also also...STOP LIGHTING HIS AND OTHER DARK CHARACTERS' SKIN TONES!!!!

Thanks <3

[ephemeral-sorrow]

family life with 21 year old!twelve [part 1]

okay, i imagine this as some kind of a happy ending AU, where twelve doesn't get shot by american snipers and sphinx manage to bring charges against the japanese government without being captured.

however, this path would take two significant turns, depending on whether nine survives his illness or not.

if his health isn't completely destroyed by the drug: let's bravely and responsibly face the fact that both nine's body and mind needed profound rest, given how long he suffered and endured the after-effects of the medicine the scientists forcibly injected him. he stubbornly ignored his condition in order to finally reach his and twelve's goal and make institutions of such kind exposed to light. being so mentally strenuous only added fuel to the deadly embers.

after the whole ordeal was over and shibazaki attracted the public attention, sphinx alongside you went into hiding, spectating the long-awaited occurence with a strange feeling of solitude. as if... all of it was rushing past you three in a swift motion. the world drowned in the informational uproar, making you wonder whether you truly once were in the centre of it all.

the first priority was to get nine tended to. his panic attacks worsened during the operation he conducted on his own, so you and twelve had no choice but to find a way to get a proper treatment for him.

for the sake of this canon, let's accept the idea of nine not revealing his face in the final video. provided with that, you managed to change your identities and get new documents without much effort, as you did all the time in the past. not wasting any time, you found a high-level clinic in the outskirts of tokyo and had nine accepted. later on, during passing months you visited him regularly and made sure he was indeed getting better. after discharging, the three of you once again went back to living under the same roof. after everything you went through, it was... extremely necessary for your group to stick together and think about the possible future. you didn't imagine your life to be separate.

if nine dies after handing over the detonator to shibazaki: twelve mourned for his friend like a wounded crow that lost its faithful companion. you did your best to comfort him and provide as much warmth and support as possible, all the while suppressing the tears of your own. surely enough, more often than not, twelve put on a brave face and kept pushing himself to think on the brighter side, but you knew him all too well to turn your eyes blind to it. at some nights, in the darkness of your shared apartment you caught him crying silently by the window. at times like these, you found yourself unable to just stand there politely and watch him break down. you scrambled out of the bed and ran to hug him, pressing yourself impossibly closer to his shaking body.

the pain was undeniably strong. you realised that every single time you looked into twelve's warm orbs and saw the thoughts reflected in them. both of you knew you needed to go on with life and not allow yourselves to fall into the pit of despair.

twelve took the major step towards.

"i want to change my name."

you looked over your shoulder, as you were stirring the stew in the frying pan, surprise and mild apprehension written all over your face. of course, you two have discussed the topic before, but you still were caught off guard.

"are you sure?"

twelve found comfort in the fading warmth of the coffee cup, thoughtfully looking at black drops that were left inside.

"yeah. not only that, but i guess i want to change my birthdate and place of birth. won't... hurt."

"somehow... you feel different about this sort of thing, even though you've done it countless times before."

"it wasn't serious. i didn't mind changing names because i thought it wouldn't affect my life one way or the other. i would still be me. heh, some part of me even considered that fun - you know, changing your "username", as if it were some kind of a videogame."

twelve's smile gave you a bitter sensation on the tip of your tongue. you felt the familiar constriction in the throat, as you quickly turned away to the sink. he was doing it again. hiding his pain behind a smile.

and it hurt you more knowing what he was on about.

he was going to...

"i want to start my life completely anew. like a whole different person. i will apply for college, find a part-time job, attend student gatherings, fret over the strict teachers. things everyone does. that'll be so cool, don't you think--"

"are we going to erase him just like that?"

your quiet voice held no condemnation. though you'd be lying if you said that you hadn't felt a pang of regret. you just wanted to hear twelve's answer. you couldn't go on living if he just chose to stuff the agony deep inside and ignore it, pretending to be okay and ready to restart. you had to know he truly let go. otherwise... otherwise...

twelve hugged you tightly, turning away the stove behind you. you hugged him back eagerly, heart pounding in the chest.

he was touching your back in a soothing motion, effectively calming you down.

"sh-h, sweetheart. it's okay."

"what is okay about all this..." you sobbed, clutching his shirt. closing your eyes, you breathed in, growing addicted to the feeling of being comforted by him, not that it was the first time.

"i'm not forgetting him. never. nine remained, remains and will remain in my heart. i feel happy that he got our wish fulfilled and passed away with peace. at first, it was really hard for me to move on. but now i know i have to live. so don't worry about me." having said that, he caressed the side of your face and made you look up to him. then he pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. "we have each other now. let's try and create something truly beautiful for once instead of blowing everything up? ^^"

"twelve..." you weakly hit his chest with a fist. "you're such an idiot."

"your idiot. there's no getting away from me now."

twelve especially requested that you would help him choose his new name; and upon looking at his blazing smile, you instantly came up with an idea - akira 明 ("the light coming from the sun").

as for the date of birth, twelve didn't think too long.

"then... let it be the 15th of june."

"that was fast. did you think about it beforehand?"

"no. that's the day we've met, silly. i want to celebrate the most important event of my life as my birthday."

[joshriku]

here's another cherik fic rec for @vvivacious101 enjoy :)

same as last time, no sad endings here :sob: i like my happy stories

Frühjahrsputz by acetamide: half of my bookmarks are days of future past related when it comes to cherik movies and this is so. oh my god. it's about the healing. about cleaning. about cutting your hair. about healing and coming together once more. it's SO MUCH .

the recklessness of water by pocky_slash: i reread this this morning. and it made me go insane AGAIN. LIKE IMAGINE IF READING A FIC WAS LIKE DRINKING WARM TEA. THATS HOW IT FEELS LIKE

be so good by significantowl: this one's an au but *pointing at the chronic pain* HOLY SHIT !!!!! SO GOOD!!!!! i was reading this like hes just like me fr....except i dont have a sexy boyfriend who takes care of me but hwatever! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

the beginning of knowledge by cymbalism: oh my god this fucks so hard SORRY IT JUST DOES. THE TENSIONNN. THE CHARACTER WRITING. THE ENDING? HOLY SHIT. YEAH. THE ASSIGNMENT WAS SO UNDERSTOOD

the world outside was hungry by tzigane, zaganthi: THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INSANE FIC EVER WRITTEN LIKE I GAINED THE WORST MENTAL ILLNESS I COULD GAIN FROM THIS I WAS SO STRESSED AND ALSO SO GIDDY AND ALSO SO IN LOVE AND ALSO SO DEEPLY SAD I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO READ THIS FIC like some other day i go and reread my favorite fics and im like ok. sits down. pukes. cries. passes out etc. fuck it's SO good it's SO SO GOOD.

to those who wait by unforgotten: i love old men cherik so jot that down and this is so fucking perfect i think the way op writes charles and his bewilderment is so fucking perfecttttt LOL AND ! IT HAS LUNA IN IT. LIKE. OH my god if there's something that gets me worse than erik with his children it's erik with his GRANDCHILDREN it's so rare and in-between to find it but ohhjh myg oddddddddD

inertia by nekare: there's a part where it actually made me put down my phone and be like holy fucking shit. it's so good

westchester, redux by daymarket: i LOVE character studying i LOVE talks about grief i LOVE when it feels like im poutting them under a microscope and analyzing them its os fucking CRAZY

all you think of lately by annejumps: im just saying. the most character development erik can get in fics is if he bottoms one time. SORRY. ITS TRUE THOUGH.

close enemies by andraste: i fucking love TAS cherik. the savage land episodes are so insane to watch even though it's so like. short. and this fic delivers the tension AND the insanity AND writes erik exactly like in the show. sorry for reccing a fic that's 21 years old but in my defense it goes so hard

one night in westchester by brotherfromanothermother: LISTEN I THINK CHERIK TAS ARE JUST REALLY FUNNY. this is a very funny fic. i love it.

smoke and mirrors by sotano: i think about this fic more than i think about how i should be working on my thesis. which is a lot. very often. all the time, even

each day starts white by kianspo: ACTUAL insanity. holy shit. had me going YESSSS EXACTLY like every fucking second htat passed. I absolutely LOVED it

so good. i love these fics so bad!!!!!!!!

[antique-traveler]

introduction/masterlist/request rules

hello! my name's bucky, i'm a 21 year old nb trans man, and i use he/they pronouns.

i'm an author/artist and i use this blog to post all of my fandom stuff. you can find me on ao3 as bbuckyy, most of my fics are there except for requests. you can also scroll through the tags "my fic", "my art", or "request" to find more of those!

speaking of requests, here's what you need to know before sending one in!

what i will write:

x reader or ship

any gender reader (i'll default to gender neutral if you don't specify)

trans reader

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

sensitive subjects (homophobia, violence, mental illness, etc.)

some au's, depending on how familiar i am with them/how detailed the request is

what i won't write:

smut. i'm asexual, and writing excessive/explicit sexual content makes me uncomfortable

suicide/self harm

incest

cheating

who i'll write for:

matt murdock

foggy nelson

michael kinsella

geralt of rivia

jaskier

masterlists are below the cut!

request masterlist

the witcher:

wrozka on ao3 - 2.6k, G, geraskier

jaskier has a secret, and geralt is trying to figure out what it is

so long we'd become the flowers on ao3 - 3.5k, T, geraskier

After losing a medallion, Jaskier begins to undergo changes and unearth forgotten details of his past.

your hand in my hand, so still and discreet on ao3 - 3.6k, G, geraskier

jaskier wakes one morning to find that he isn't quite himself. throughout the day, he learns about who he was before becoming a bard, before meeting geralt, before he saw his mother taken from him.

sequel to so long we'd become the flowers

hang your head over, hear the wind blow on ao3 - 1.4k, G, geraskier

geralt has trouble sleeping, echoes of stones and slurs rattling through his head. jaskier takes notice and offers him solace the only way he knows how: a lullaby.

just hidden - 6.7k, T, geraskier

Jaskier is changing. Rapidly. Painfully. Bloodily. Geralt has no choice but to bring him to Yennefer to try and stop whatever has begun to mutilate and deform the man he loves.

the umbrella academy:

you're gonna be here for it on ao3 - 2.7k, T, five & diego

when five first jumps to the apocalypse, he sees his siblings as he expected they'd be at 30. all except one, that is.

five comes to terms with missing diego's coming out and transition

the gravities of terrestrial life - 2.0k, T, five & klaus

Klaus comes to terms with being older and younger than his twin brother.

x-men:

out of the black and into the blue - 11.2, T, charles x hank

When Hank realizes that his serum is no longer effective and must stop taking it completely, it takes Charles's help and almost two years for him to finally heal. In the end, it's not just his body that's changed.

daredevil:

we've changed so much i barely recognize our formative lives on ao3 - 2.4k, T, mattfoggy

matt asks foggy what he looks like, and is forced to come to some unsurprising realizations

over all these virtues (put on love) on ao3 - 8.8k, T, mattfoggy

Elektra is dead for the second time, hopefully for good. Matt has to decide if he ever really loved her, if he ever really loved women at all.

eight minutes on ao3 - 3k, T, mattfoggy

So here’s the thing: Matt, like, really liked physical contact. Foggy had been collecting evidence for weeks now, and he was absolutely sure of this conclusion. Holding Foggy’s hand as they walked home drunk, melting beneath Foggy’s hands on his shoulders, the way Matt leaned into him whenever they sat close enough; he clearly loved to be touched. Foggy wasn’t sure why, maybe living in a catholic orphanage for seven years just did that to a person. Regardless, if Matt needed to be touched that bad, then god dammit, Foggy was going to touch him. Platonically. Without getting a boner, hopefully.

epitaph, elegy on ao3 - 3.4k, T, mattfoggy

Jack is in Matt's living room. Jack is living and breathing and just as confused as Matt is. He doesn't know why, he doesn't know for how long, but Matt does know one thing: he has to tell his father everything.

reeling with the feeling on ao3 - 1.6k, T, mattfoggy

from the prompt: Oh uhhh I'd die for something that involves Matt and Foggy at some hot spring or alternatively a warm bath because: sensory stuff half or completely underwater, water, your loved one in super warm funky floaty place.

snips and snails on ao3 - 1.5k, G, nb!matt/ftm!foggy

from the prompt: Something something Matt being wholesome to Foggy about their dysphoria. Bonus if Matt is nonbinary because what the heck is gender i can't see it anyway

a magical place where it never rained - 7.9k, T, mattfoggy, autistic!matt

Matt's got some... quirks. He waves his hands and he can't stand loud noises and holy shit does he know a lot about Thurgood Marshall. Foggy puts the pieces together and convinces Matt to do the same.

How to Be in Love with Your Best Friend: A Step-by-Step Tutorial on ao3 - 13.2k, T, mattfoggy

Matt and Foggy have been through the wringer. They've won and lost and cried and fought and died and come back and now... now it's time for Foggy to take a chance.

and then they do that more on ao3 - 4.6k, T, mattfoggy

Matt's overjoyed by the way his friendship with Foggy has been revived. They're even closer than they'd been before Midland Circle; now they say "I love you" every chance they get, and they hold hands when they walk together, and Foggy greets him with light kisses. He's so happy that Foggy's his best friend.

the shape of his smile - 2.2k, T, trans!matt x reader

There's never a time when you don't feel lucky to witness how Matt becomes himself.

the walk home - 3.8k, T, matt x transmasc!reader

On the walk home, you get mugged. Fucking of course you do.

just a little team-up - 8k, T, team red, established mattfoggy

At first, Matt really does not want to team up with Spider-Man, but, bit by bit, they start to learn more about each other.

[peachypizzicato]

can you believe they’re making a threequel to 2020. crazy (year in review after cut)

i know i did my whole big dramatic comic thing last year but uh. i’m not really feelin it this time

im gonna keep it a buck with you guys, i love y’all so im gonna make this real honest; my year was not very good, like honestly pretty awful for the most part.

that’s not to say there WEREN’T good things, they just felt overall more few and far between than the bad times.

i struggled a lot with mental illness- most visibly my adhd- and even had to take a huge break from creating and posting because it was just adding to the growing fogginess up there. i didn’t feel like i achieved much in work or in recreation (in some ways i still don’t). i didn’t achieve a single one of last year’s “resolutions”. i dealt with a LOT of self doubt and insecurity that seemed to only pile on as the year progressed. i faced a personal loss. needless to say its been a rough one for me.

but it hasn’t been all bad. i found a number of new sources to bring me joy (and of course, the new f/os that come with them). my favorite series in the world got a new game (and i got a new comfort blorbo, hi big man). i spent a lot of time with some of my closest friends, some of that time dedicated to working on personal passion projects both new and old together. i turned 21 and experienced a rite of passage i had been looking forward to. i discovered something about myself that i had been made to hide away, and i’ve started to feel more like i can be myself. i got to share things with all of you. for as much time as i spent this year in painful lows, i did get to experience some really high highs, and i’m really grateful for that.

as for my hopes this time around, i just want to spend as much time as possible just doing things that make me happy and not worrying about trying to win anyone’s approval. i’m beginning a major i’m excited for too, so i also hope to prioritize that and let that lead me wherever it goes.

i’d also like to give some thanks again, if that’s quite alright:

@sin-pestilencia, for continuing to be one of the best friends i’ve ever had despite any distance. here’s to nine years (or something like that, right? lmao)

@femininelookingmale, for supporting me no matter what and always making me feel heard and loved and appreciated even when i’m convinced the world is crumbling around me. i love u man /p

@toasty-self-shipping, @dead4non, @jils-things, @candyheartedchy, @fluffyselfships, @moss-self-ships, for reminding me that what i do has purpose and someone out there does care. i hope someday i can give back the amount of joy you all have brought me

and to everyone who i can’t think of because i’m really tired, thank you for supporting me even through all the turmoil this year has brought. i can’t even begin to articulate how much it means to me.

thank you everyone for being here for me, and for letting me have this platform i love for nearly two years now. see you guys in ‘23

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Five)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Mild Sexual References

Words: 1,848

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

 *************************

YOUR POV

Two weeks had passed since you visited your friend Denise in Dublin and it was time for the annual Galway Arts Festival.

Denise had been working on a photography project for the past year and had been nominated for a student award in Galway as part of which ten of her photographs were being displayed during the Arts Festival.

Whilst, as you had expected, Cillian didn’t contact you, you knew that he would be there to support his daughter. Being an artist himself, he was very proud of her and her work and he supported her projects not only mentally but also financially with the caveat that she would finish her degree at Trinity College.

Unlike him, he didn’t want her to drop out of university even though she hated it and you certainly understood his reasoning.

Contrary to Denise, you had no creative bone in your body. You enjoyed art and theatre, but weren’t an artist or performer yourself. Instead, you were an A Grade Law Student who had become rather bored in Galway and had recently applied for a scholarship to Oxford University.

Reading was your passion and you had always been known as a geek. In school, you were the girl that no one liked, nerdy, not interested in fashion or social media and wearing braces, which, luckily, had been removed three years ago.

You were shy and it was only for Denise that you came out of your shell. She was popular in school, mostly due to her name, but also because she was generally confident and, over the years, she helped you gain confidence especially after you had left high school.

But, today, you knew you would be questioning your gained confidence once again since, first of all, you would be seeing Cillian again and the truth was that you couldn’t stop thinking about him in an intimate way and, secondly, you were featured completely naked on some of Denise’s photographs.

Whilst the photographs were artistic and not sexual in any way and your most intimate part wasn’t visible on them, it bothered you knowing that people you disliked would see you so vulnerable and you couldn’t remember why you had agreed to being photographed like that.

The other woman who Denise chose to photograph was Amalie. She was 23 and had been Denise’s friend for a while as well but, unlike you, she began modelling professionally when she was just 16. You all went to the same private school together and, clearly, her lifestyle had been largely financed by her parents. She always wore expensive clothes and had no interest in pursuing a career other than modelling, which barely sustained her lifestyle considering the few small jobs she got.

***

Just as you served your last cup of coffee to an elderly lady sitting in the corner of the café you were working at, you saw Denise, Amalie and two other friends of Denise walk in.

‘Hey guys, take a seat. I will be right with you. I am just about to finish my shift’ you said as you hung up your apron.

‘Please tell me you will get changed before the Gallery opening tonight?’ Amalie asked somewhat weirdly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you sat down at the table with her, Denise and the others before ordering some coffees for yourselves.

‘No, I thought I would go like this’ you said sarcastically, looking down at your coffee-stained clothes.

‘I bought a dress for tonight’ you then said, after Amalie didn’t seem to sense your sarcasm.

‘Right’ she then said as she flicked through Instagram and you simply looked at Denise who shrug her shoulders.

‘What are you looking for?’ you asked curiously as her eyes seemed to be glued to her phone.

‘She is looking to find more photos of my dad and Laura Jennings’ Denise said, rolling her eyes.

‘Laura Jennings, as in the actress?’ you asked, causing Amalie to nod.

‘Yes, apparently they have been dating’ Amalie then confirmed, causing you to swallow harshly. You knew that you shouldn’t care but you couldn’t help it. Knowing that Cillian was seeing someone made you feel ill.  

‘And you care about that why?’ you then asked Amalie after an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine.

‘Apparently, just like you, Amalie thinks my dad is a DILF’ Denise huffed out before telling you how disgusting you all were.

‘Well, he is though…he is super hot’ Amalie then joked before carrying on. ‘And I don’t understand how you don’t know about Laura Jennings and whether this is true or not. You need to find out’ Amalie then said but Denise simply shook her head.

‘My father doesn’t share this sort of stuff with me and I certainly don’t want to know about his sex life, thank you very much. In so far as I am concerned, he doesn’t have sex, ever…yuck! Also, I would appreciate if you could not talk about my dad anymore, please. It grosses me out’ Denise said and you knew that, all of this had become a common occurrence ever since the day the first episode of Peaky Blinders aired on BBC, a show which Denise refuses to watch herself because of the heavy sexual content and a show which you, only a week ago, had begun to binge watch.

Cillian’s POV

When Cillian walked into the basement after you had left, he immediately saw the small folded up note you had left him but, reading it, made him somewhat uncomfortable.

He was torn about what to do with it and certainly knew that he should ignore it. He couldn’t see you again even if he wanted to.

The fact that you were 23 years younger than him and that you were his daughter’s best friend made it all wrong and highly inappropriate and he didn’t know what had gotten into him in the first place when he gave into you.

He had never felt attracted towards you in any sort of way until that last visit which was the first time had seen you since you and your family had moved away.

You changed in many ways and he wasn’t sure what it was that he liked about you. But what he knew was that it was more than just sexual attraction, which was usually something he knew how to supress.

With that in mind, he placed your note into his wallet and decided to ignore it for now. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to throw it out.

***

With his bags packed it was time for him to return to Manchester and resume filming of the final season of Peaky Blinders.

The first week of filming went well and Cillian decided to spend the weekend with his friend, fellow actress Laura Jennings. Cillian and her had developed a friend with benefits sort of relationship. No strings attached and no feelings involved. After his divorce from Denise’s mother, he wasn’t ready for anything else and Laura would certainly not have been the type of woman he would have wanted a relationship with in the first place.

Unlike him, she wasn’t press shy and, whilst they kept their arrangement a secret as best as they could, she was otherwise quite active on social media.

Cillian, on the other hand, only maintained a private Instagram account with the sole purpose of being able to check on his children. Whilst they were adults, he was still worried about them, especially Denise who had recently gotten herself in a lot of trouble after distancing herself from this Jeremy boy.

***

‘Another wine?’ Laura asked as Cillian was relaxing on top of the doonas, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs, after they had spent the last hour doing exactly what friends with benefits would do after not having seen each other for over two weeks due to busy filming schedules.

‘Yes please…thanks’ he responded as he reached for his phone after a notification had popped up.

It was his daughter Denise who had posted on Instagram and, since she hadn’t posted for a while, he decided to check it out, hoping that she wasn’t with Jeremy again.

To his surprise, three new pictures of Denise and her friends showed up when he opened the APP and, one of them, there was you.

In the picture, you were wearing accompanied by a man in his late twenties, wearing a suit while you were wearing a dark blue dress and he couldn’t help but wonder who the man by your side was.

You looked simply stunning, with your hair long and open and your shoulders exposed. You were wearing only a little bit of make up and showed your beautiful smile.  

‘There you go Mr Murphy’ Laura then said as she returned to the bedroom with another glass of wine, pulling Cillian’s phone out of his hand and climbing on top of him.

‘Round Two?’ she then asked eagerly as she reached for another condom, but Cillian’s thoughts were elsewhere entirely.

‘Maybe tomorrow, I am tired. It has been a long week, sorry’ he explained, causing Laura to pout with disappointment.

But the second round never eventuated as Cillian left Laura’s house the following morning to drive back to Manchester to resume filming.

On his way back to Manchester, he called his daughter Denise to check on her and while he did, he enquired about your companion on the Instagram posts.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Denise asked somewhat confused but Cillian played it cool.

‘He looks familiar, that’s all. Didn’t he go to your school?’ he then asked, playing dumb.

‘Oh god no, he is 29. His name is Connor and he is an accountant. Y/N wouldn’t date anyone our age. You know she isn’t a normal 21-year-old’ Denise joked, referring to your nerdiness and intellect.

‘Apparently not’ Cillian chuckled before asking another question about the stranger on the picture. ‘So, they are dating?’ he asked.

‘I think they went on two or three dates or something. Why do you care?’ Denise asked.

‘No reason. I was just wondering’ Cillian confirmed before changing the topic.

   Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[imaginesbymk]

PERSONALIZED SELF-INSERT FANFIC COMMISSIONS!

[FORM SUBMISSION LINK]

As an aspiring writer, I am offering self-insert fanfics with a character in your dream fandom! Just remember you can always request reader insert imagines/headcanons/prefs on my blog for free, but this is just for anyone who is interested in having theirs personalized and self-inserted! Please only request a commission through the Google forms linked above - NOT in my inbox. I won’t accept them!

FANDOMS I CAN TAKE COMMISSIONS FOR:

Arcane

Euphoria (not Nate Jacobs)

Squid Game

Quentin Tarantino films (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill only) 

The Maze Runner

The Hunger Games

The Pacific

Peaky Blinders

Shadowhunters

Stranger Things [S1-4] (I will only write familial/platonic for Eleven, Will, Lucas, Mike, Dustin and Max and I will not write for Billy romantically)

The Walking Dead

Professor Andrew Marston (ZSakuVA ASMR boyfriend audio)

WHAT I WRITE

Romantic, familial and platonic fics!

LGBTQ+ (even tho I identify as bi, please allow me to take more time to write them accurately)

Fluff and angst

Implied NSFW but no smut

AU

Love triangles with other characters/OCs in the same fandom - just no cheating!

WHAT I DON'T WRITE

Multiple chapters

I don't write for all the characters in the fandoms listed if the character(s) is abusive/racist/homophobic or a minor (especially for the Stranger Things kids. I understand the cast is much older now, but their characters aren't - also because I'm a 21 year old writer)

Smut

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Switching canon LGBTQ+ characters and writing them as cis/straight for the reader

If the reader or character is a victim of homo/trans/bi/Islamophobia, racism, any form of abuse, etc

The reader receiving/giving/forgiving any form of abuse

The reader having a specific mental illness or physical disability. Depression/Anxiety is an exception, but I will not write other things as I do not want to inaccurately write anything that would potentially be harmful and misinforming

Polyamorous relationships

Su*cide/s*lf h*rm

Crossovers – they're too complicated to write for me!

Real people/Celebrities

Character x Character

Reader x OCs

Cheating

PRICING

Under 1K words ($5 CAD)

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EXTRA PRICING

Additional pairing ($2 CAD)

Based off a song of your choice ($2 CAD)

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TERMS OF SERVICE

Payment is through Paypal only!

Your fanfic will be written and submitted to you as a Google doc/Word doc (I promise to make the layouts pretty)

For personal use only! If you do decide to repost them, then it must be credited to me properly with my name and my Tumblr blog username. I will take legal action if this is not done.

You will be receiving drafts of your commission asking for modifications 0-10 days after payment

You agree that I will add these commissions to my writing portfolio and possibly on my Tumblr to promote my commissions.

No estimated wait due to college + work, but I will not forget any commissions and refunds are guaranteed, if ever.

With all that said, please be patient and kind <3

- MK

[ofxiang-archive]

hi hello !! i'm stevie, i'm 21+, my pronouns are she/they, & i'm really excited to be here with you all now that my work schedule is less hectic ! i've had my eye on infinite for a while & finally decided to join in on the fun - with my beloved baby boy, nikolai ! he's the main vocalist for phoenix, a sweetie with a heart of gold, but he also has #issues &lt;/3 pls feel free to dm me for plotting or drop a like and i'll come to you !!

look who’s joining the infinite tour! only nikolai xiang, who is the main vocalist of phoenix. i’ve heard whispers that the 26 year old is pretty cordial but lowkey neurotic. also, doesn’t he remind you of wen junhui?

tw for: substance abuse, death, abuse, homophobia, & mental illness.

background !

nikolai was born in hong kong on july 5th. he was raised there with his two brothers, one younger & one older, who both shared the same passion for music he did. the xiang's weren't a wealthy family, their father absent & an addict, leaving their mother to do p much everything by herself.

his relationship with his family was great, relying on them a lot growing up. their mother, a music teacher at their school & supporting as ever (bless her soul), uplifted & encouraged them to chase their dreams.

he looked up to his older brother a lot, basically idolizing him - desperately trying to follow his footsteps & be as effortlessly cool (as any younger sibling does tbh), even learning dance from him.

out of the 3, nikolai was always deemed most sensitive, taking literally everything to heart. he was a very sweet & outgoing kid, undoubtedly the softest.

things however took a turn when he was 12. both his older brother and mother were involved in an accident, which tragically took their lives. everything changed then, his brother & himself ending up in their father's care.

it forced him to grow up far more abruptly than any child should; he still had his younger brother to take care of. everything nikolai did from that point on was for him. he protected him from their father, never letting him lay a hand on him, basically raising him himself - they were attached at the hip.

when he turned 14, he started a job and began to save up. at this point in time he was already exhibiting symptoms of mental illness & it would go untreated until his early 20's.

some time later, nikolai began to come terms with his sexuality. he stayed closeted for a while, knowing that the people around him (brother excluded) didn't exactly "approve" of homosexuality. just a few months after his 16th birthday, his father caught him holding hands with another boy - the final straw for all of them.

he ended up getting very hurt physically & thrown out, left to the streets without a care. with nowhere to go, he was alone & afraid, but shortly after his brother joined him with the saved up money (and a handful of their dad's), & they headed for seoul to live with a recently reconnected aunt.

career !

nikolai was street cast only a few months after his move, shortly after his younger brother passed his auditions. initially he declined it because he believed his interest in music was gone, but the scouting agent didn't give up on him - showing up to pester him again a few days later. hesitantly, he finally agreed to do an audition & the rest was history.

he didn't understand why they had so much faith in some depressed kid, & would come to realize much later that it probably saved his life. days as a trainee were extremely challenging, especially with not being properly diagnosed or treated for his mental health concerns, but it gave him something to put his energy into, his passion for it quickly reigniting.

after a few years of being a trainee, nikolai was 20 when phoenix debuted !! all the hard work had finally paid off & the group headed for stardom.

he is very much the mood maker of the group ! he also enjoys doing vlives, ig lives, the works - whether he's with the members or just by himself. a lot of the time, he solo streams in the middle of the night, talking to flames centring him & filling a sort of perpetual lonely void. in these middle of the night lives, flames get to see the quieter side of him.

personality !

there are 2 very different sides to nikolai & he's open about both of them. on one hand, he's an extremely warm, friendly & just universally loved guy, known to goof off a bit and let loose while still being respectful. flames consider him very charming, though he doesn't exactly see it himself.

below the surface though is a tired and broken man. his struggles with mental health is a topic that (after years in the industry) he talks about openly & honestly. his group members & those who knew him in his trainee days are most familiar with this side of him, but he's publically an advocate for mental health, and has been vulnerable with his own.

there are times where it noticeably seeps through in things like variety show appearances & group vlives, but he generally does his best to provide the fans with good energy :( over the years he's taken a few month long hiatuses to focus on getting better.

he's still an extremely sensitive person, kind-hearted, & wears his heart on his sleeve. he would give someone the shirt off of his back, no questions asked. taking care of people is just part of who he is. he's the one who wakes up before dawn to cook breakfast for the rest of the members, the first to offer water or a jacket, constantly making sure the people around him are okay.

VERY DRAMATIC. very extra. he's known to sulk easily, & fans eat that shit up even though it's seldom intentional.

he alsoooo is a bit of a party animal. it's fine when done in moderation, here & there, but he's prone to binge drinking & indulging in that sort of behaviour, especially during difficult times. he can be messy, & it's gotten him in trouble with their manager more than a few times, though he's careful not to let it be seen by the public.

[darlinglittle]

pls read me!! ♡

{last update: Mar 6th, 2022}

pls follow my backup acct! ♡ @darlingxlittle

u can tip me on cashapp! ♡ $poilxme

the tags on this post are for my main oc categories! (I currently have a tag masterpost in progress)

☆~♡~☆~♡~☆

rules for interaction

do not interact w this blog at all:

◦if u have no 21+ age indicator in ur bio or pinned post

◦if u are under 21 years old (yes i'm reiterating this)

◦if u have unsourced/reposted porn on ur blog (whether it's posted, reblogged, or in ur likes)

◦if u are a bigot or exclusionist of any kind

◦if u have a hogwartz house, "gender critical", "traditional gender roles", "patriarchy/misogyny kink", etc. in ur bio or rb that type of content

◦if ur a boot or a bastard

◦if u have "sfw" anywhere on ur blog

◦if u are part of any reg communities (yes even on sideblogs)

◦if u are a feeder/feedee/chubby chaser/any other sort of weight fetishizer

◦if u are a sissy/misgendering/detrans blog

◦if u have any raceplay/race fetishization on ur blog

◦if u post abt eating disorders/goal weights or self harm

◦if u post things like "r4pebait/p3d0bait" or sexualize real trauma/abuse

if u follow me, please:

✧always copy my "21+ only" tag on my original posts (even if ur not rbing from my blog directly)

✧be respectful of other ppl's dnis! (u should always be checking every unfamiliar blog for age & dnis when running a nsfw acct!!)

✧do not add commentary in ur reblogs!! (adding stuff in the tags is perfectly fine!)

breaking any of the rules above will get u blocked without warning!!

☆~♡~☆~♡~☆

about me

✧i go by darling on here ♡

✧i'm 27, i'm married to my mommy, & my daddy now lives with us ♡♡

✧i'm disabled (legally blind, colorblind, neurodivergent, & mentally ill)

✧my little age range is 2-6, my middle age range is 12-14, my fave pet to be in general is a puppy, & my fave pet to be for my mommy is a cow

✧my main kinks & limits are listed at the bottom of this post :)

✧u can call me pet names, but pls do not imply that i belong to u! -> "hi princess!"✔️ "hi my princess"❌

✧i'm genderfluid, but i (usually) prefer fem terms/names

✧my mommy is pre-hrt/pre-op transfem & goes by they/them pronouns online. respect that!

✧my mommy doms me to a degree, but they are much more of a subby switch at heart. i also have a daddy i met thru this blog who is my main dom.

✧i am not looking for more partners! pls do not ask to be my dom or playmate!

✧i am open to making kinky friends, either dommy or subby!

✧i follow back blogs that intrigue me. if i unfollow soon after pls don't take offense! it just means i didn't align w ur blog like i thought i would at first glance.

✧i am much softer irl than some (most?) of my reblogs and even original posts may imply. there are things i only like/crave at certain times. the things i always like are on the softer, calmer side of bdsm.

messaging me

✧my dms are currently only for ppl i follow/mutuals. if i decide to open them again i'll make a post abt it & update this point here.

✧my asks are always open, including anons! i love receiving asks, but do not just send me sexts or i will block u!

☆~♡~☆~♡~☆

kinks & limits

fave kinks include:

✧ageplay, cgl, littlespace, innocence & corruption, teacher/student type dynamics

✧pet play (puppy, cow, kitten), collars & leashes

✧praise, adoration, obsession, being spoiled/rewarded

✧softer cnc, coercion, drugging, sweet manipulation, conditioning

✧bimboification, dumbification, being treated like a toy

✧sweet humiliation, sweet degradation

✧pee (either peeing for/on someone or being peed on)

✧light s&m, spanking, being groped

kinks i have interest in but never practiced irl:

✧breath play, choking, being gagged

✧bondage, rope play, captivity, kenneling

✧group sex, public sex (w ppl who consent obvs), free use for multiple partners

✧bukkake, creampies

✧s&m using tools (floggers, canes, clamps, etc.)

soft limits:

◦abdl (specifically diapers)

◦rougher cnc

◦harsher humiliation, harsher degradation

hard limits:

◦sibling dynamics

◦leather, rubber, other restricting clothes

◦hardcore s&m, violence, knives, guns, blood, harsh bruising, biting, hickeys

◦body affecting fetishes (plastic surgery, feeding, scarring, etc.)

◦breeding, impregnation, lactation

◦scat, vomit, ass to mouth (etc.)

☆~♡~☆~♡~☆

[kats-alcove]

True Heat

Pairing: Aizawa x AFAB! Reader

Warnings: Reader has female parts, all the typical A/B/O tropes, professor/student relationship

Summary: Quirks may be one step in human evolution, but the secondary genders are another. Alpha, Beta, or Omega: everyone presents one way or the other by their 21st birthday 

You're a college student at UA University with a little problem; you have yet to present. With your 21st birthday approaching rapidly, something has to happen, and soon.

Aizawa is a teacher at UA University, and an Alpha. So when his favorite student is suddenly ill, he does what any concerned teacher would do. Right?

A/N: This is my first foray into A/B/O tropes, so please be nice!

Read it on AO3 here!

Quirks. Meta abilities. Colloquially, superpowers. They went by many names, but ultimately, they were seen as the next step in human evolution. Since their appearance 200 years ago, quirks brought with them many problems, and not so many solutions. Governments scrambled to adapt to the superhuman society, and for the most part were doing pretty well.

Then the secondary genders began manifesting.

It was a gradual process, but soon about half the world’s population was presenting with a secondary gender: either Alpha or Omega. These secondary genders were characterized by the appearance of a mating season; rut for Alphas, and heat for Omegas. The other 50% of the population remained normal, and were given the designation Beta.

Scientists still weren't sure exactly what had caused them to appear, but they were pretty sure why . With the advent of Quirks, the birth rate had begun to fall dramatically due to the fact that these powers often made people unable to bear children. So evolution solved the problem for the people by creating secondary genders designed to promote population growth.

Unlike Quirks, which were either present at birth or manifested early in life, secondary genders didn't appear until after puberty, with the usual timeframe being somewhere between 17-20, and they always manifested before a person turned 21. For Betas, this simply meant that their bodies continued to develop normally.

Alphas and Omegas, however, would present by going into rut or heat, respectively. Once society was more used to these secondary genders, the “second puberty” became much more normalized, but those first few years were rough. All that was in the past, though, and now the world had adapted, both to the presence of Quirks and secondary genders.

Which is why you found yourself at UA University, 20 years old and continuing your studies to become a professional hero. Having graduated from the college’s sister high school, you were already well on your way to that goal. However, the extra schooling was free, and it let you get a degree just in case your career as a hero fell through.

Not that you thought it would. You were a smart student and a competent hero, even if you weren't as popular as some of your classmates. There was only one little stumbling block on your path to greatness: your secondary gender.

Most of your classmates had presented already, either in their third year of high school or soon after starting college. There had been a few late bloomers, but you were the last one, and you would be lying if you said it didn't worry you.

Usually, a lack of presentation at your age would mean that you were a Beta, but your reproductive system had yet to resume its natural cycle and you certainly hadn't experienced a heat or rut. You had gone to see a specialist at your parent’s urging, and they had been remarkably helpful.

“You'll hopefully present by the time you turn 21,” they told you gently. “On the off chance you don't, though, just give me a call. There are ways to induce this sort of thing, but we only like to use them as a last resort.”

Now your 21st birthday was only a few weeks away, and still no secondary gender. You tried your best to carry on with your life, your schoolwork, keeping up with your friends. Mentally, however, you were checking every single twinge in your abdomen, hoping it was either the beginning of a period cramp, or perhaps the first stirrings of rut or heat.

The only times you ever were able to stop obsessing over your reproductive system and focus on other things was during school. Well, one specific class at school: Hero History, taught by the one and only Shouta Aizawa. Eraserhead had always been your favorite hero, so of course you had been delighted when he had announced that he would be taking a teaching position at the University.

Despite most of the students' opinion of Aizawa as a boring, strict professor, you adored his class. Maybe it was the subject, which covered everything from big name heroes to underground vigilanties. But mostly it was the teacher himself. There was just something about Aizawa’s presence that was soothing to you. His deep voice, his laid-back demeanor, his no-nonsense kindness, all of it drew you in and put you at ease.

And you desperately needed some ease. Your 21st birthday was only a week away, and you were starting to freak out a little bit. There was still no sign of any gender presentation. The only abnormality had been a slight fever when you woke up, but you had just popped a few ibuprofen and headed to class like normal.

It was set to be another long day of stress and worry.

___________________

Unbeknownst to you, you weren't the only one worried about your lack of presentation. Aizawa was concerned for you too. Just as he was your favorite teacher, you were Aizawa’s favorite student, not that the older hero would ever tell you that. You were sweet and kind, always attentive in his class and a model student all around.

Aizawa had grown fond of you, though the only person he had ever admitted that to besides himself was his best friend. Hizashi Yamada had immediately begun yelling Aizawa’s ear off about student-teacher ethics, not to mention the general creepiness of being attracted to someone almost 15 years younger than him. Aizawa had had to erase the blond’s quirk to get him to shut up, before telling his friend that he knew all that.

“Besides, it’s not like I'm in love with Y/N,” Aizawa protested. “I just… care about them, and I want them to do their best. But they can't do that without presenting somehow.”

“Why not? If they don't present, it just means they're a Beta, right?”

“Not unless their regular cycle starts. They're stuck in a sort of limbo right now, and if they present Alpha or Omega, it isn't going to be pretty,” Aizawa sighed.

Hizashi tilted his head, curious. “How’s that?”

“Well, the hormones that cause the presentation have been building up in Y/N’s system for years. If and when they present, all of those are going to affect them at once, making their first heat or rut very intense. Call it my Alpha instincts, but if someone under my care is going to be in distress, I want to help them.”

Hizashi gave Aizawa a sympathetic pat on the back. “And there are ways to help them that won't get you slapped with a code of conduct violation.”

“Hmmmm...”

Aizawa trailed off, lost in his musings. Musings that, of course, quickly veered towards you. Aizawa only saw you in class three times a week, but he had noticed something a bit off about your scent the last time. One of the perks of being an Alpha was a slightly enhanced sense of smell. Usually, you smelled like your shampoo and bodywash, maybe a trace of what you had for breakfast. Last time, however, there had been something under those artificial scents, something that Aizawa could only describe as uniquely Y/N.

“...buddy? Hey, Shou! Don't you have a class to teach?”

Fingers snapping in front of his eyes brought Aizawa back to the present. Hizashi was peering at him from behind those ridiculous glasses, concern evident in his eyes. Aizawa let out an affectionate huff and clasped his friend on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I do. Thanks for listening, Hizashi.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for! And Shouta,” Hizashi caught the other man by the wrist. “If something happens with Y/N, call me?”

“I will. See you after class.”

___________________

You lay with your head nestled in the crook of your elbow, desperately trying to block out the light and noise of the lecture hall. The fever that you thought had been a one-off thing had returned full force, this time accompanied by a headache, as well as an awful sensitivity all over your body that not even the ibuprofen was able to alleviate. The only reason you were at school at all was because of an important test you’d had your first class of the day. Part of you had debated heading back to your dorm after that, but that would have meant missing Hero History and a chance to see Mr. Aizawa.

Around you, your classmates quieted as footsteps echoed from the front of the room. You pulled your head up enough to see Aizawa strolling in and taking his place behind the lecturn. Somewhere in the back of your mind was the thought that you should pull out your notes and a pencil, but you just couldn't get the willpower to reach for your bag. Instead, you settled for watching the lecture, hoping someone would be nice enough to lend you their notes to copy.

You drifted in and out of a doze as Aizawa continued speaking. The room was warm, or at least it felt warm to your fevered self. And there was some sort of odd scent in the air. It was rich like coffee, spicy like cinnamon, and musky all at once. You attributed it to one of your classmate’s cologne, but you couldn't deny the almost stupefying effect it was having on you. Your eyes flickered shut and you felt your body tip to the side, just a little.

The next thing you know, you're stretched out on the floor with several of your classmates peering down at you. You blinked groggily and sat up, head swimming with pain.

“Wh-what happened?”

The green-haired boy steadied you with a hand on your back. “You fainted, Y/N! Are you feeling ok?”

“I feel fine,” you lied. “Did I hit my head on anything when I fell?”

“No, Kacchan caught you.”

“Tch! Dumbass move, comin’ to class sick like that.”

“Yeah, sorry.” You stood carefully, only to come face-to-chest with a black shirt half-covered by a familiar grey scarf.

“Is everything all right, Y/N?”

You blinked up at Aizawa blearily. Now that he was closer to you, the scent that had been clouding your mind all class was nearly overpowering. It was coming from him, you realized, and nobody else seemed to notice. You opened your mouth to answer, but all you could manage was a little squeak before you began to fall again.

Immediately, several pairs of hands steadied you. They belonged to your classmates: the green-haired boy and ‘Kacchan’. Aizawa was still standing in front of you. He looked frozen, eyes locked on some middle distance as his chest heaved. After a few moments, he spoke, not to you but to the boys currently supporting you.

“Take Y/N to the infirmary, please. They're excused from the rest of their classes today.”

“Right away, Mr. Aizawa! This way, Y/N.”

The two boys escorted you out of the lecture hall, the blond pausing long enough to grab your bag. They tried to head towards the infirmary, but you resisted, instead turning towards the dorms.

“H-hey, where are you going?! Mr. Aizawa said...”

“I-I know what he said, but...” you sighed. “I really just want to go to sleep in my own bed.”

The green-haired boy hesitated for a moment, then relented. “All right. What dorm are you in?”

___________________

Aizawa watched Deku and Bakugou escort you out, heaving an internal sigh of relief. He had noticed how unwell you had looked when he had first entered the classroom, but he hadn't expected you to faint. It was lucky your two classmates had caught you and stopped you from hurting yourself.

Returning to his lecture, Aizawa still couldn't get his mind off you. He had rushed to where your seat was as soon as the flurry of movement had caught his eye, only to be slammed in the face with a wall of scent. It was the same as the day before dialed up to 11, oozing off of you like a mist. The scent sent heat stirring through Aizawa’s veins, but more than that, it stirred a primal part of his brain: the one that screamed at him to take care of you, to protect you.

It had taken all of his willpower not to scoop you off the floor and carry you to the infirmary himself. Sending you with those two was his next best option. Still, he would probably check in on you after class. And he would have to call Hizashi.

*******************************

“What do you mean they aren't here?” Aizawa fought to keep his voice level.

“I mean exactly that, Eraserhead.” Recovery Girl swiveled to face him. “Neither they, nor Bakugou, nor Midoriya have been to my office today. You said they fainted in class?”

Aizawa nodded. “Twice. And she looked very flushed; not at all like her usual self.”

“Well, the only thing I can think is that those two boys took them back to their dorm instead of bringing them to me. You could always go check, if you're that worried.”

“No, I’m not,” Aizawa lied. “I just wanted to check in, that’s all. Thank you, Recovery Girl.”

Aizawa took his leave of the infirmary, but he didn't go far, instead choosing to lean up against the wall. Pulling out his cell phone, Aizawa dialed his friend. Hizashi picked up on the second ring.

“What’s up, man? Is everything ok?”

“No, I… Zashi, it’s Y/N.” Aizawa ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh, shit.” There was a rustling sound as Hizashi got settled somewhere. “What happened?”

“They passed out in class today, twice.”

Hizashi released a breath. “Please tell me they went to the infirmary.”

“I just checked, and they didn't. But Zashi, that’s not the important part. Y/N, they're giving off this scent… it’s indescribable. I think they're presenting soon.”

“Are you sure? It could just be some sort of flu.”

“They didn't smell like the flu, ” Aizawa growled.

“Hoo boy, ok. Okay.” There was a pause as Hizashi thought. “Do you know where they are now?”

“In their dorm room, probably.”

“Ok, then what you're gonna do is wait.” Aizawa started to speak, but Hizashi cut him off. “Wait until tomorrow. You have class with them tomorrow, right?”

“Yes,” Aizawa ground out.

“If Y/N is feeling better, they'll come and you can get an accurate read on their condition. If not, then...”

“Then I go and check on them.” Aizawa’s tone brooked no argument.

“Exactly. You check on them, and if they are presenting you call a doctor. You do not try to help them yourself, ok? Shouta?”

Aizawa grit his teeth, trying to force the answering “OK” past his lips. It hurt to say that, to agree to not helping you when every cell in his body was screaming the opposite. Finally he forced the word past his lips, and Hizashi’s sigh of relief was audible.

“Ok, good. Then I’ll talk to you later...”

“Actually, can we...” Aizawa winced at how weak his voice sounded. “Can we meet up? I don't want to be alone right now.”

“Of course, buddy. Whatever you need.”

___________________

The next day, Aizawa’s class came and went, but you were not in attendance. After a quick call to Hizashi, the dark-haired Alpha made his way over to the student dorms. He had looked up your dorm number last night, just in case, so he made his way up to your room no problem. Standing in front of your door, though, Aizawa wasn't sure what to do. Should he knock? What if you were passed out somewhere and didn't hear?

After a moment, Aizawa tapped lightly on the door. “Y/N? Are you there?”

No response. On a whim, Aizawa tried the handle. It turned in his grip and the door slid open a crack. Immediately, Aizawa reeled back as a wave of scent even more powerful than the one yesterday washed over him. You were definitely in there. Taking a deep breath and mustering up every ounce of self control he had, Aizawa slipped into your room.

The interior of the room was dark, but Aizawa could just make out the general furnishings. A bookcase, a desk, and the bed in the corner. And curled up on top of the bed…. Technically, it was a mound of blankets, but your scent was strongest around it, so he figured that must be you. He took a few steps closer, and the pile twitched slightly.

“Y/N?” he called softly. “It’s Mr. Aizawa. Are you alright?”

A sound emanated from you, but it wasn't words: just a desperate whimper. That sound snapped something in Aizawa’s self control. He strode towards you, perching carefully on the edge of the bed. As soon as his weight settled, you were turning towards him, seeking him out. Some of the blankets fell away, releasing more of your scent. It was a little different now, sharper and mixed with the scent of…

“Slick. Shit, ” Aizawa cursed.

He knew that scent from the times he had helped Hizashi with the blond Omega’s heats. You were presenting, and you were presenting as an Omega. This was a dangerous position for Aizawa to be in, and he knew it. You were an unmated Omega, going into heat for the first time. Aizawa may be a strong Alpha, but even his self-control had limits, and he wasn't keen on testing them. Not at the expense of your safety.

“Call a doctor,” he murmured to himself, almost unconsciously.

Aizawa could call Recovery Girl. She would know how to take care of you. She’d take you away from him. You needed to be away from him. You needed to be in his arms. Aizawa shook his head, clearing away the conflicting thoughts. Hadn't you mentioned going to see a doctor for exactly this issue?

Without thinking, Aizawa grabbed your phone from the nightstand and checked your emergency contacts. One of them was listed as a doctor, so he pressed ‘dial’ without thinking.

“Hello, Y/N! This is Dr. Amari, how can I help you?”

“This...” Aizawa paused. “This isn't Y/N.”

The doctor’s tone turned sharp. “And who am I speaking to?”

“My name is Shouta Aizawa. I’m Y/N’s teacher.”

“Well, Mr. Aizawa, is everything all right?”

“No. Y/N, they've… gone into heat.”

“They presented as an Omega?” Aizawa nodded before realizing the doctor couldn't see him and verbalizing a ‘yes.’ “Excellent. Now, Mr. Aizawa, if you don't mind telling me what your secondary gender is?”

Aizawa felt something warm and soft grab his hand. “A-alpha. I’m an Alpha.”

Dr. Amari bristled. “You need to get out of there, Mr. Aizawa.”

“No.” The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“I beg your pardon?” The doctor’s voice turned positively icy.

“I'm not leaving them alone until help gets here,” Aizawa said stubbornly. “They've been in distress for the past three days at least; I’m not abandoning them now!”

“How can you tell?”

The sudden change in Dr. Amari’s tone made Aizawa blink. “How can I tell they've been in distress? I've been able to smell them for the past few days.”

“Describe the scent.”

It should have been easy, with your scent swimming all around him, but Aizawa was having trouble putting words to it. He stuttered out something, trying to compare what he was smelling to things in the real world. Through his broken explanation, Dr. Amari made a few encouraging hums, but didn't stop him.

“So what does it mean, Doctor?”

“Have you ever heard of the concept of true mates, Mr. Aizawa?”

Aizawa shrugged. “In rumour and hearsay only.”

“It’s been known as truth in the medical field for quite some time. True mates are people who are chemically and biologically perfect for each other. They emit a scent from their glands that only their mate can smell, which is what you are experiencing now.”

“So what do I do?”

Dr. Amari answered with another question. “Have you ever taken care of an Omega in heat before?”

“Yes, several times. My friend….”

“Then you already know what to do. If any other issues come up feel free to call again. Goodbye, Mr. Aizawa.”

With that, Dr. Amari hung up. Aizawa placed your phone back on your nightstand before reaching for his own. He dialed Hizashi in a daze, barely registering how quickly his friend picked up the phone.

“Shouta? Buddy, are you there? Talk to me!”

“I’m here, Zashi. Y/N, they presented.” Aizawa slumped forward. “They're an Omega.”

“Holy shit, Shou! You have to get out...”

“NO!” Aizawa practically snarled, before catching himself. “I'm sorry Hizashi. I already contacted Y/N’s doctor about the situation.”

“And? What’d they say?”

“They said that Y/N and I are true mates. That’s what the scent I was noticing was.”

“True mates?” Hizashi whistled quietly. “Were they sure?”

“Very. Dr. Amari gave me their blessing to take care of Y/N. I’m going to need...”

“Already on it.” There was the sound of fabric rustling in the background. “All the usual stuff, right?”

“Yeah. And the extra-strength suppressants. I want to talk to Y/N lucid before anything… happens.”

Aizawa could hear the smile in Hizashi’s voice. “You're a good man, Shouta. See you in 30?”

“Sounds good.”

Aizawa hung up, finally turning to look down at you. One of your hands had escaped your nest and captured his own, pressing it to your cheek. Your nose was firmly pressed against his wrist, breathing in his scent. He smiled at you, carefully extracting his hand from your grip. You whimpered from the loss of contact, and Aizawa was quick to smooth his fingers across your forehead.

“Hold on just a moment, Y/N.”

Quickly, Aizawa stripped down to the undershirt and pants he wore beneath his hero uniform. Thus divested of his clothes, he slipped under the covers behind you. It took you only a few seconds to turn and bury yourself in Aizawa’s embrace. The older Alpha guided your head until your face was nuzzled into the crook of his neck. You sighed happily, instinctively seeking out the scent gland there. Aizawa let you, knowing that it was all the relief he could give you until he got your full, lucid consent.

Aizawa settled his head on your hair, breathing in your scent. Hurry up, Hizashi.

25 minutes later, Aizawa’s phone dinged with a text from his friend. He didn't bother reading it, instead mashing out a response with one hand; ‘Door’s unlocked, come in.’ As soon as he hit send, the door opened to reveal Hizashi standing there with shopping bags in hand. The blond stood frozen, stunned by the scent of your heat.

“Get in here and close the door,” Aizawa ordered.

That tone snapped Hizashi out of his daze. He quickly crossed the room to your desk, setting down the bags he had brought with him and taking a seat in the chair. Aizawa appreciated the gesture; Omega though Hizashi was, Aizawa really couldn't tolerate another person near you right now.

“I got all the usual things: snacks, Gatorade, extra towels, that one soap, the suppressants you asked for,” The blond picked over the bags. “I also swung by your apartment, grabbed a few of your blankets for nesting.”

Hizashi tossed said blankets over to his friend. Aizawa caught them and immediately began tucking them around you. You were still pretty much unconscious, but you snuggled closer to the blankets. Aizawa took the opportunity to detangle himself from your sheets and go inspect what Hizashi had brought. Sure enough, there were a variety of easy-to-stomach snacks: protein bars and fruit sauce packets, mostly, as well with several flavors of Gatorade. Aizawa grabbed a bottle of that, along with the pack of suppressants.

In the final bag were several odd boxes, and Aizawa cast Hizashi a curious glance. Hizashi had the decency to blush when his friend opened one of the boxes to reveal a small black vibrator.

“I figured you might need the backup! Since I know you don't have the stamina you used to.”

“I have plenty of stamina,” Aizawa scoffed. “But thank you, Hizashi.”

“No problem, Shou. Is there anything else you need?”

Aizawa shook his head. “Not at the moment, but I’ll text you if anything comes up. Now, not to sound rude, but….”

“Get out? I'm already gone, buddy.”

With that, Hizashi left, making sure to lock the door behind him. Aizawa watched his friend go, a small smile on his lips. He really was lucky to have a friend like Hizashi, eager and ready to help at the drop of a hat, even in situations like this.

Speaking of this situation, a small whimper from you drew Aizawa’s attention back to you fully. He made his way back to your side, carefully encouraging you to sit up while deflecting your attempts to nuzzle into him again. Finally, he got you leaning against your headboard, gazing at him with heat-clouded eyes.

“There you are, Y/N,” Aizawa cooed. “I have something you need to take. Do you think you can swallow a pill or two?”

You nodded slowly, and Aizawa helped you take the medication. Then he gave in to your weak demands and rejoined you in bed. It would be a few minutes before the suppressants kicked in, and Aizawa didn't intend to let you be uncomfortable for a moment of it.

___________________

Your return to lucidity was slow, like coming up from the deep end of a pool, only the pool was filled with molasses. When you were finally fully conscious of your surroundings again, the first thing you noticed was how warm you were. It wasn't quite the feverish warmth that had plagued you for the past few days, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. You wriggled, trying to get a leg or an arm out from under your blankets to cool off.

It was then that you noticed you weren't alone. Strong arms tightened around you, pulling you back into what felt like a pretty toned chest. You let out a yelp, foot involuntarily kicking back. You must have made contact with something, because your companion released a strangled groan and loosened their hold on you.

Rolling out of bed, you turned to face the intruder only to have all the fight drain out of you as you saw who it was you had just kicked. Aizawa was almost curled into a ball, gripping his shin and letting off a string of muttered cuss words.

“M-Mr. Aizawa?!?” You could hardly believe what you were seeing.

He jerked when you said his name, hauling himself into a sitting position. “Y/N, you're lucid! The suppressants must have kicked in. How are you feeling?”

“I feel… weird,” you admitted. “What’s going on? Why are you in my bed?”

“Do you remember what happened after my class yesterday?”

Thinking back, you tried to piece together the events of the past 24-odd hours. You remembered passing out in class and being escorted back to your dorm room, where you had changed into pajamas before collapsing in your bed… then nothing. Anything after that was a vague blur of heat and pain and arousal. Those feelings were still present, but you could ignore them now thanks to the suppressants in your system. There was something else, right before you woke up; a sense of safety, of comfort. Had that been Aizawa?

“You didn't answer my question,” you snapped, though you weren't sure why you were being so defensive. This wasn't some random stranger, this was Aizawa, your teacher, a man you trusted.

Aizawa ran a hand through his hair. “I came to check on you when you didn't come to class, only to find that you had presented Omega. From there… I suppose I let my instincts take over some. I never meant to scare you or make you uncomfortable: I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” you ventured. “I’m not scared, just surprised, I guess? Why didn't you call the infirmary when you saw I presented?”

“Because I couldn't,” Aizawa answered simply. “I couldn't make myself hand you off to someone else, not when my instincts were screaming at me to take care of you myself.”

“Why?”

You didn't get it. Why was your teacher, your incredibly handsome, intelligent, kind teacher so driven to take care of you? It made absolutely no logical sense.

“Have you ever heard of the concept of true mates?” Aizawa patted the bed next to him, and you sat.

You tilted your head, unfamiliar with the term. “No.”

“Well, according to your doctor, true mates are an Alpha/Omega pair that are biologically perfect for each other.”

“Huh, that’s interesting.” Then your brain caught up with what he had said. “Wait, you called Dr Amari? When?”

“Pretty much as soon as I got here. I wanted to make sure someone else knew of your condition, someone outside the present situation.”

“Thanks, then, for saving me the phone call. So, true mates, huh?”

“Yes. Apparently, that was all your doctor needed to give me permission to take care of you, but you can call them if you want to.”

You shook your head. “Nah. I trust you and Dr. Amari. So what kind of “taking care” do you-AAAH!”

You doubled over as a wave of hot pain shot through your abdomen. Immediately, Aizawa was there, hands studying you and rubbing circles on your back. Whimpering, you looked up at the older Alpha, fear flickering across your face.

“ Shit, ” Aizawa swore. “The suppressants are wearing off faster than I thought they would. Y/N, try to focus; what do remember about how heats function?”

Your eyes widened and your face warmed as you recalled those units in health class. Heats were designed to promote procreation: they kicked an Omega’s libido into overdrive. You weren't quite sure how you had forgotten that.

“Oh...” you released a breathy whimper.

“Yeah. I mean that kind of “taking care”, if you want me to, that is. Otherwise I can call Recovery Girl and have you in the infirmary in the next 10 minutes.”

You pulled back from Aizawa’s comforting hands, though it almost killed you to do it. “Why? Why would you want to? You're amazing, Mr. Aizawa, and I’m just a stup-”

“Don't.” Aizawa cut you off, tone serious. “Don't you dare put yourself down, Y/N. Not in front of me, and not ever.”

He reached to cup your face, and you let him. “As to why; I've been in love with you for a while now. I know it’s not conventional, hell, it’s barely ethical, but...”

“I love you too,” you blurted. “I've always admired you, and then I got to know you in classes, and I just fell even more.”

Aizawa’s eyes widened, and for a moment neither of you moved. Then, the older man swooped down to press his forehead against yours. His scent filtered into your nose, winding its way past the weakening suppressants. It wasn't enough to cloud your mind, just enough to ground you in the moment.

“Tell me you want this,” Aizawa pleaded. “Tell me you want me, and I promise I'll take such good care of you, this time and every time after.”

You couldn't help but smile. “I want this. I want you, Mr. Aizawa.”

“Shouta. From now on, call me Shouta.”

“Shouta...” You tested the name on your tongue. It felt good, like it was meant to be there. “Shouta, please! I want you, I need you.”

Aizawa growled low in his throat before finally closing the distance and sealing your lips together. You closed your eyes, moaning into the kiss as you let the Alpha take full control. He kept the kiss soft, but it still stoked the fire in your belly, making you arch and try to press closer to him.

A hand hitched around your waist, pulling you into Aizawa’s lap. The hand on your cheek slid into your hair, only to gently tug your head to the side and expose your neck. Aizawa shifted his attention there, peppering your soft skin with kisses and nips until he hit a spot that made you cry out.

“Shouta, please!”

Aizawa pulled back to look at you. “One last thing; are you on any birth control?”

“The strong stuff, yes.”

“Good.” Aizawa pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Now you can let go, Y/N. Let go and let me take care of you.”

It was like you had been waiting for his permission. Aizawa watched as the fog of heat clouded your eyes. You slumped against him bonelessly, once again giving over to your base instincts. Aizawa maneuvered the two of you so that you were laying on your back with him looming over you, caging you in and keeping you safe.

Your breath quickened as you felt the heat of Aizawa’s gaze. The older man’s eyes roamed over your face and down your body like they alone could undress you. It wasn't something you had ever felt before; the feeling of someone who wanted you wholly, mind, body, and soul.

Aizawa swooped down to press kisses along the length of your jaw, teasing across your skin until his lips finally connected with yours. You looped your arms around his neck in an attempt to pull him impossibly closer. Heat flared all over your body, and suddenly the thin pajamas you were wearing felt as abrasive as sandpaper.

“A-Aizawa!” you gasped out. “Clothes, please!”

He smirked. “Of course, honey.”

Fingers skimmed along the curves of your abdomen until they reached the hem of your shirt. Aizawa’s knuckles brushed your tummy, eliciting a breathy giggle from you. A giggle that turned into a moan as he flattened his hand to your skin. It was the most bizarre thing: he didn't even have to touch you anywhere erotic to get an intense reaction out of you.

You didn't have much time to mull over this strange quirk of biology. Aizawa still had hold of the hem of your shirt, and one deft motion later, you were left topless. This was usually the point where you would get shy, especially with how intensely Aizawa’s attention was fixed on your chest, but the hormones running through you made modesty impossible. Instead, you arched your chest, wordlessly begging the Alpha above you to do something, anything to relieve the ache building inside you.

Aizawa caught on quickly, chuckling as he skimmed his hands up your torso. “Such a needy little thing, aren't you?”

You couldn't respond to his teasing, not in words. Instead, you whimpered pitifully, arching further into his touch. Aizawa took mercy on you finally, hands coming up to cup your breasts. He rolled your stiff nipples between long fingers, with an occasional pinch thrown in for good measure. You couldn't help the moans flowing from your mouth: just that tiny bit of stimulation had you feeling better than you ever had before.

And you weren't the only one having fun. Aizawa was enraptured as he watched you, beautiful in your pleasurable agony. Your skin was so soft under his hands, your nipples so perky and hard from his ministrations that he couldn't help but lean down and capture one in his mouth. You mewled, hands shooting out to grip Aizawa’s hair.

“Did you like that?” He pulled back slightly, breath ghosting across your skin. “It sounded like you did. You sound like a kitten, a little kitty-cat in heat. Do you want me to help you, kitty-cat? Want me to make you feel incredible?”

All you could do was nod and tug at Aizawa’s hair, trying feebly to guide his mouth back to your skin. The Alpha took the hint, taking pity on you as he drew your stiff nipple into his mouth once again. His tongue played over your tit, just as dexterous as his fingers which kept your other breast company. You writhed beneath him as best you could, desperate for him to do more.

But Shouta Aizawa was a patient man, and a responsible one. He knew that your body was asking for things it wasn't ready for. If he didn't take the time to warm you up properly, he could risk hurting you. And that was the last thing Aizawa wanted to do.

Gently, Aizawa kissed a path from one breast to another. His unoccupied hand drew circles on your tummy, soft and yet so arousing. The older man set about giving your neglected breast the same treatment he had given the first. This time, he added a bit of teeth, nipping at your hardened bud before taking it in his teeth and pulling until your moans became high-pitched whimpers. You arced against the body pinning you down, and Aizawa vaguely felt something wet soak his leg through the clothes between you.

For your part, you were on Cloud 9. You had never been able to come from having your breasts stimulated alone, and it was a different kind of orgasm: an all-over wash of pleasure that washed over you in waves.

It wasn't enough, of course. If anything, that orgasm only stoked the fire in your belly, heightening your arousal instead of satiating it like an orgasm usually would. Helplessly, you rutted against Aizawa’s thigh, unaware and uncaring about the slick that soaked you both. Incomprehensible pleas escaped your lips between heaving gasps of air, and with every breath the scent of Aizawa, the scent of Alpha, filtered into your system.

A nip to your hipbone drew your attention somewhat back to the present. While you had been lost to pleasure, Aizawa had shimmied down the bed to lay in between your legs. His fingers curled in your waistband as dark eyes looked up at you, silently asking for permission. You nodded fervently, and Aizawa slid your pants down your legs, leaving only your soaked panties to cover you.

The Alpha kissed his way back up your leg, occasionally stopping to nip at a sensitive spot on your ankle, the back of your knee, your thigh. Eventually, he was settled fully between your legs, face inches away from your most intimate area. You couldn't look away as he inhaled through his nose, as though he was sniffing the most beautifully perfumed flower in existence.

You wiggled your hips, trying to entice the older man to do something other than tease you. Aizawa rewarded you with a single finger sliding up your clothed crotch, from your slit to your clit. The slight pressure was maddening, and you bucked into it frantically. A strong arm pinned your hips down to the bed.

“Don't. Move.” Aizawa’s voice was deep, commanding. “Or am I going to have to restrain you?”

Your eyes flew wide at the thought, a whimper escaping your lips.

Aizawa chuckled lowly. “You’d like that, wouldn't you, kitty-cat? Tying you up with my scarf while I have my way with you, making you come over and over until I’m satisfied?” He pressed a kiss to your thigh. “Things for later, kitty-cat. I promise.”

Finally, Aizawa slipped his hand under your panties. The man didn't even bother taking them off; he simply pulled them until the fabric tore at the seams. A flick of his wrist sent the ruined material flying across the room, and just like that, you were bare to him. Aizawa ran a finger up your cunt again, collecting your slick mixed with cum. He slid the single digit into his mouth, eyes rolling back as he savored the flavor of your arousal.

“You taste incredible, kitty-cat. I want more...”

You gasped at the first swipe of Aisawa’s hot tongue across your folds. He wasted no time spreading you with two fingers and diving in like he was parched. That tongue of his felt just as good on your nether regions as it had on your tits; Aizawa left no part of your cunt unexplored. You were so focused on that magic muscle that you barely noticed when he slid two fingers into you, scissoring them slightly.

The third one definitely drew your attention, though. The stretch wasn't painful, couldn't be painful given your current state, but it was certainly noticeable. You had never felt that kind of a stretch before, nor had any of your previous partners been so adept at finding exactly which spots would have you bucking against the arm pinning you down, hands grasping at the sheets in an effort to ground yourself against the pleasure.

It didn't work, as Aizawa used his tongue, teeth, lips, and fingers to send you soaring. Your head spun with ecstasy, and you were sure you were caught in one extended orgasm. Then Aizawa closed his lips around your clit and sucked at the same time his fingers pressed that magic little spot inside you. An inhuman sound escaped your lips as you came, walls clamping down around Aizawa’s fingers.

The Alpha worked you through your high with gentle strokes and licks. He didn't stop until you were tugging at his hair again this time trying to pull him away from your overly sensitive cunt. He kissed back up your body, an action meant to comfort and ground instead of arouse. You were grateful, having just experienced two (at least) of the most intense orgasms of your life. Aizawa nuzzled softly at your neck, where your scent was strongest. You returned the gesture, mouthing at the gland there softly.

The action drew an affectionate laugh from your partner, who shifted so that he was pressing kisses all over your face. “How are you feeling, kitty-cat?”

“Good,” you slurred. “Really good. But...”

You looked away, embarrassed, but Aizawa was quick to grasp your chin and turn you back to face him. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, the taste of your slick still present on his mouth. His other hand curled around your waist, bringing your naked body fully into contact with his clothed one.

“But what?” He kept his voice gentle.

You felt your face flush. “I… still want you. I want you… inside me.”

“Kitty-cat...” Aizawa brushed his fingers along your jaw. “You should never feel sorry for your needs. Besides, that’s what I’m here for, and you are more than ready.”

As he was talking, Aizawa began stripping, first his shirt, and then his pants and boxers. You couldn't stop yourself from ogling the man. His hero costume was baggy enough that you had never really gotten a good look at him, but the man was built. Muscle covered every inch of his body, bulkier than you had expected. Unconsciously, you reached out to trail a hand down his chest. Aizawa’s entire frame tightened under your touch as you skimmed lightly over his abs, only for your fingers to come into contact with the dark happy train just under his belly button.

Your hand stopped, but your eyes kept going, following that little black patch of hair down, down, down… You felt your face heat again as you finally saw it. Your teacher’s cock, rising proudly between your legs. Now you understood why all that prep had been necessary. Even in your hyperaroused state, Aizawa’s cock looked huge, even without taking into account the knot at its base. Thick and veiny, it curved slightly upward.

If you had been in any sort of normal headspace, you probably would have been a little scared. To your heat-addled brain, however, the cock in front of you was a temptation you had little will to resist. You reached forward, wrapping your hand around the base of it, just above the deflated knot. Aizawa let out a muffled groan when you gave a few experimental pumps.

“All right, that’s enough, kitty-cat.” Aizawa maneuvered you back to your back. “You can explore later. For now, just let me please you.”

You nodded, pulling Aizawa down into a kiss as he lined himself up with your sopping entrance. An experimental roll of his hips had the head sliding in, and you moaned in synch. Aizawa’s cock stretched you even more than his fingers had, but that didn't deter you. All it did was turn you on even more, a fact you communicated by rocking your hips and taking another inch in.

“Easy, kitty-cat. I don't want to hurt you.”

You shook your head. “You won't. Please, Shouta… Alpha, I need you!”

Aizawa let out a breath. “Well, how can I say no to that?”

With a single thrust of his hips, Aizawa sheathed himself inside of you. Your eyes rolled back as you tried to comprehend the feeling of fullness you were experiencing. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before: like something that had been missing this whole time was finally where it belonged.

And then Aizawa moved, and you saw stars. He pulled out slowly, only to sink back in. Every vein on his cock dragged against your soft folds, catching on every spot that had you near thrashing with pleasure. After a few thrusts, Aizawa fell into a rhythm that was neither too slow nor too fast. You rocked with him, chasing the orgasm that was building along with something else.

Pleasure mounted, and you let yourself go, lost in the sound of skin on skin, the drag of Aizawa inside you. Instinctively, you sought out the scent gland at the base of his neck, and you could feel Aizawa doing the same. His scent enveloped you, heightening your arousal and pleasure, all while making you feel the safest you’d ever been.

The dichotomy of the two feelings had your head spinning. Things snapped into crystal focus when you felt two fingers slip between your bodies to rub circles over your clit. Suddenly, you were on the edge, waiting for something to cross that boundary and send you spiralling into bliss.

That something came sooner than you had anticipated. As you teetered on the precipice of orgasm, you felt Aizawa’s motions stall. His cock grew thicker, his knot inflating as he neared his own release. With one final thrust, that knot breached your walls and locked in. Aizawa gave a few more shallow rocks of his hips, and then he was coming,  hot seed spilling into you.

That feeling, the pressure of his knot, and the circles he drew on your clit finally became too much. You tumbled headfirst into ecstasy, vision going white as you clamped around your Alpha’s knot. Aizawa worked you through this orgasm just like he had all the others, only letting up when your breathy pants became whimpers and you relaxed beneath him, utterly spent.

___________________

You weren't sure whether or not you actually passed out, but when you opened your eyes you were in a different position. Aizawa had maneuvered you so that you were lying on top of him, blankets pulled over the both of you. A slight shift of your hips confirmed that he was still locked inside of you, which meant it couldn't have been that long.

“Welcome back, kitty-cat,” Aizawa rumbled from beneath you.

You smiled and hummed a greeting, settling into his warm chest. Aizawa smiled and stroked your hair, holding you as though it was the most natural thing in the world. It felt nice, especially after all the exertion you had just been through.

“Once we’re no longer stuck,” Aizawa was saying. “We’ll get you something to drink and a snack. I estimate we’ve got a good couple of hours before any sort of second wave hits.”

“Sounds good,” you muttered. Then a thought struck you, and  you sat bolt upright. “Oh, shit, my classes! I’ve missed so many, I’m gonna get in so much trouble...”

“Kitty-cat, calm down!”

Aizawa yanked you back down to lay flat against him. He pressed kisses along the line of your neck, hands rubbing circles on your bare back.

“You think I didn't think of that? I called Hizashi not too long ago; he’s already contacted the administration.”

Aizawa gave you a playful smirk. “You and I are off the hook for however long it takes for your heat to pass. Which means...”

He kissed your cheek.

“We get to spend...”

Your other cheek.

“The next week...”

The tip of your nose.

“ However we want. ”

[yagamisdiary]

if u feel uncomfortable answering this question u don’t have to!

just wanted to ask if u have any tips in preventing on doing sh? like it’s really hard to stop once u started and even if you’re clean for a while the urge doesn’t go away

oh damn we’re getting deep okay

TW: self harm, rape, drug use, overdose

so i used to self harm and i think this is pretty well known since i included it in parasite and what not

i started in 2016, i was 16 and i had scars all down my arms and i always wore sweaters, jackets, long sleeves etc

btw, i live in TEXAS where it’s hotter than hell so i would sweat my ass off and ppl would be like girl take off your jacket but i would always say i was fine even though i was dying

i ended up doing it until i was 17/18 without anyone noticing until i overdosed and went to the hospital (1st suicide attempt) and they saw the cuts

when i woke up i got help and sent to a mental facility and got some cute socks 😍 (sorry humor is my coping mechanism) and i ended up getting clean from self harm and drugs

i was clean for maybe an entire year but i would get random urges but i would just try to push them down or resorted to other forms of self harm like pinching myself until i bled or pulling my hair until it came out or punching walls/glass

when i turned 19, i got raped and i ended up going down hill again and start to self harm again and doing drugs again

my second suicide attempt happens after i slit my wrists again and endured blood loss and had to go to the hospital AGAIN and got cute socks AGAIN

i think i didn’t get better until i was 21 and it was only because i moved away from everything that was making me depressed. i left my family, friends, school, etc behind and started a new life in another town with my dad (my parents are divorced)

moral of this depressing ass story is i didn’t magically get clean one day. that’s not real. people who actually deal with self harm never just get better one day. it’s not possible because it’s an illness, it’s an addiction and i know that first hand

the best piece of advice i can give you is to find a pattern. find what makes you want to cut yourself and try your absolute hardest to stay away from it or get rid of it even if it hurts like a bitch

leaving everything behind hurt so bad, saying goodbye to some and just disappearing on others hurt but my mental health has never been better

there are times where if things get bad, i’ll randomly get the urges too but i think i’ve gotten much better at convincing myself it’s not worth it

i’m stuck with scars that are BARELY fading away because of something i did years ago and sometimes it makes me really sad when i feel insecure about wearing certain things that expose my arms or when someone points it out

at the time, i just had so much disgust and hatred for myself that i wanted to cause myself pain. i felt like i deserved it. i deserved to hurt, i deserved to bleed

and then there was times where i was so depressed and numb that i would cut myself just to feel something, just to see if i was alive

i regret it so fucking much i wish i could go back and hug my 16 year old self and beg her not to do those things and be kinder to herself and love herself some more

i’m legit tearing up while writing this because the idea of someone feeling so low of themselves that they feel the need to punish themselves breaks my heart so badly because no one deserves that.

i hope whatever you’re going through gets better and i hope you never get the urge to hurt yourself again because from someone who committed self harm in many different forms for YEARS i can tell you personally it’s not worth it

it won’t take the pain away, it won’t change anything, it won’t make you feel better

if you ever need someone to talk to, i’m here for you!!

[dayseternal-blog]

Hi days! I know you're the best person to go to for some NH fic recommendations. Can you share with us really angsty NH fics? I've read White Lillies, that amount of angst is revitalizing I LOVE IT!!! big thanks!!!

HELLO

For how fluffy NaruHina is, there SURE ARE A LOT of shippers who LOVE NARUHINA ANGST.  I’ve been asked for angst recs far more than any other type????

I will now compile every angst fic rec I’ve ever made into one long list.  (folks can see if there’s anything I’ve missed 🤓)

NARUHINA ANGST

“A Place In The Sun” by ihaveastorminme - Rated M for smut and depictions of violence, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Naruto realizes that he’s not enough to love her.  He’s not enough to save her, either.

“A Fate Worse than Death” by Caelestia - Rated M for smut, ABO Canon-Divergent, One-shot.  Naruto, improperly socialized and traumatized as a child, rejects his inner Alpha, which has devastating consequences on his family and marriage.  “A Risky Bet” is its fluffier follow-up.

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night.  Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it. Angst if you want to know what dying feels like warning.

“if this is love (why does it hurt?)” by ClairvoyantDreamer1011 - Rated M, Friends with benefits Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata knew many things about Naruto Uzumaki. She knew that his heated glances meant ‘I want you’; that lingering touches whispered 'please’, and that the sight of his back to her screamed 'leave’. But she couldn’t tell you what they were to each other for the life of her.

“If You Said You Loved Me” by destiny’s sweet melody - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot.  Naruto begins to realize he took her feelings for granted and now he’s too late.

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Naruto and Hinata are married.  So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Why would innocent little Hinata be out dressed like that?” (One-shot) and its follow-up “On Any Given Day” (Long One-Shot) by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent. Hinata tries to move on from Naruto, right when he realizes he wants to keep her.

“For the Future” by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata understands this better than anyone else. Naruto is easy to love.  (I actually just hate the ending a lot.  That’s what puts this on the list).

“Gilded Butterflies” by Kid Crisis - Rated M for depictions of violence, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Tenshi, beautiful prostitute of the Villa, realized from a very young age that people seem to do nothing but empty her, and not even Naruto seems capable of convincing her otherwise.

“Serenity Prayer” by @katarinahime - Rated M for smut, substance abuse, PTSD, and depictions of domestic violence and non-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. When their fairytale endings smash to ugly pieces, Hinata and Naruto help put each other back together.

“Common Side Effects” (Naruto’s POV) by @katarinahime & “Medicated” (Hinata’s POV) by @szajnie - Rated E for smut, substance abuse, mental illness, and depictions of violence, self-harm, and attempted suicide, Crime/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata, in a struggling relationship, must confront the pain inside before they can love each other.

“In Another Life” by theGeneralissimo - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. In which Naruto listens to his mother’s advice and marries a girl like her. And lives to regret it.

“Mistake” by Cherry1315 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto falls apart, and, unfortunately, Hinata has to pick up the pieces.

“Until the Day I Love” by BluBlooThalassophile - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Everyone is recovering from the war.

“Hidden From Sunlight” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. How different could Naruto’s life be when the girl that seemed 'barely around’ is truly hardly around at all?

“Powerless” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M for depictions of violence and character death, Mystery/Crime High School/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control. DELETED FIC.

“21 Days” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E includes dub-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Anonymous internet friends decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

“April - Too Late/Missed Opportunities” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, College/Modern AU, One-shot. After her 3 years away for college, Naruto decides to confess.

“June - Honor/Sacrifice” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto marries Hinata, the girl of his dreams.  If only she loved him back.

“you totally almost killed me that one time (it’s okay I still love you)” by @itachiboutit - Rated G, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete.  Naruto, a promising baseball player, returns to Konoha Prep, and, without so much as even a “long time no see,” hits a ball into Hinata’s face. (This isn’t really angsty…but I get really upset in Ch. 4 and cry a lot every time.)

“Because I Love You” aka “Arranged Marriage AU Take 2″ (Same fic) by @magmawrites - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. A canon divergent fic in which The Last never happened and Hinata Hyuga was promised to another.

“Asylum AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. What’s to say what’s real and what isn’t? The only thing that’s valid and true in all universes is their love for one another.

“Dreaming of AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M for implied suicide, Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto dreams of her. He grows to love her. Dreams are nice. Too bad reality is a nightmare. (Most likely a continuation of the Asylum AU.)

“Memory Loss AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. I LOVE YOU. Will I ever hear those words from your lips again?

“The Path We Walk” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. With his memory of the past five years missing, Naruto never expected to be married to Hinata, and now he must navigate through the maze that is their life together with no memory of how he got there.

“Easier For Me” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Two-shot, Complete. How will Hinata handle waking up with no memory of how she got there?

“My Escape” by @marimare-writes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto wakes up from a coma with no recollection of life after graduating the Academy. Hinata, anxious and with a secret that will change both of their lives, struggles with what to do.

“Consolation Prize: Through Her Distorted Mirror” by mysterious intentions - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Her love is taken lightly, as if her heart could change so easily.

“Good Luck” By LovelyLori - Rated T, Flowers/Ballet AU, Two-Shot, Complete. A Japanese ballet company arrives in Naruto’s town.  Can love transcend language barriers? (I spent HOURS looking for this one, it totally breaks my heart.)

“On the outside looking in” by @char-lotteral - Rated E for smut, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto’s in love with his best friend’s girlfriend fiancee.  And he’s not moving on.

“Sincerely, Uzumaki Naruto” by @bkgsbby​ - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. After his wife leaves him a week after giving birth to their son, Naruto moves back to Konoha. He adjusts to life as a single father, with the help of his friends and surprisingly, his old crush.

“Road to Redemption” by averagejane497 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, especially concerning the women he loves. Maybe this time he can get it right.

“You’re the One” by AnimeloverNUMBA100 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. After 4 desperate years, Hinata finally asked Naruto out. He decides to give her a chance, but his feelings for Sakura has never faded. Hinata is slowly losing hope as time goes on…and she soon chooses to leave him.

Untitled by @randomprose - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Prompt: Hinata finds out that Naruto told Minato that Sakura is his girlfriend.

“Jitters” by ncfan - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. He has her heart but he doesn’t even know it.

“The Red Umbrella” by ncfan - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. As the rain hits her, Hinata thinks about what she doesn’t have, and what she’ll never have now.

“Duplicity” by GoldKing - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Uzumaki Sakura wants to know why Hinata’s children are blond.

“My Favorite Night” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata harbors deeper feelings for Naruto after three years of being his roommate. When he starts dating Sakura, Hinata decides it’s in her heart’s best interest to turn the other way, and leaves Naruto for good with a heart-breaking secret in tow.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which…Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

“Blurred Lines” by @vegebulsoup - Rated E, Police / Cops and Robbers Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Detective Naruto Uzumaki is having a hard time staying focused at work due to an elusive, dark-haired beauty.  (Starts off fun and smutty, grows angsty).

“I want you to cry” and its sequel “Road of Tears” by Devahhole - Rated E for graphic murder, dub-con/non-con, and smut, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A sociopath blinded by revenge runs into his greatest opponent.

“Absolute” by @ssa25 - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. She was his kind, shy and innocent friend. Until she wasn’t. He was her pure, beautiful and unrequited love. Until he wasn’t.

I’m very glad that you enjoyed my “White Lilies” fic!!  Here’s everything I could think of for you to cry or stress out over.

SAD READING 😢

[heyyyharry]

Till Death (a Halloween one shot)

…in which Y/N and Harry share a flat but he cannot see her.

Warning: DEATH, MENTAL ILLNESS, MENTION OF SU1C1DE AND SELF-HARM (inexplicit). There's a happy ending tho 😬

Inspired by Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride and this song.

Word count: 3.9k

.

.

.

“Oh, you’re home!” she said as he shut the door and kicked off his shoes. His hair was a mess, his eyes dark and weary. He leaned against the wall and released a long heavy sigh.

“Trouble at work?” she asked. He didn’t answer. He never did. But it was okay. She was used to it.

She watched him trudge toward the couch and slump into it with his head buried in his hands. It was so quiet. It was always quiet here, and most of the time, she enjoyed the silence. After all, it was all she ever knew. But she also liked his laugh and his voice when he talked on the phone. He never talked to her. He was a great listener though, and she liked to talk anyway, so she had nothing to complain about. He never interrupted her, never commented; he only listened.

He rested his head on the couch with an arm over his closed eyes. She sat down beside him, her legs together, her hands on her knees.

“Guess what I did today,” she said.

He let go another long breath.

Silence.

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell ya.” She rolled her eyes, suppressing a grin. “I made a new friend. A bird. I saw him on our balcony this morning. I named him Steve. Can you imagine? A bird named Steve. I think Steve likes me as much as a bird could like someone–”

“Oh, shit!”

She flinched as he jumped to his feet.

“Where are you going?” she asked, slightly worried.

“Shit, I forgot,” he murmured, shoving his fingers into his already unruly hair as he reached for his phone on the coffee table. He sat back down and unlocked the screen. His handsome face was illuminated as he typed something into the chat. She rested her head on his shoulder and stole a glance at the screen, just enough to see who he was texting.

It was that name again.

She’d seen him text this person every day for the last couple of weeks. She didn’t know who they were or what they looked like or if they were male or female. All she knew was that they always got Harry’s full attention.

She thought it’d be rude to read other people’s texts, so she never did even though he would never stop her. Still, it didn’t mean she wasn’t dying to know what they said to each other. She would watch Harry as he talked to the person either on the phone or through texts. And he would always look so happy whenever a notification came and he saw the person’s name.

She bet they talked about more interesting topics, not just birds with human names. That thought alone gave a throbbing feeling in her hollow chest.

Sometimes, when she was with him, she forgot about its absence, which was good, because she wanted to forget.

But whenever she saw his eyes sparkle as he talked to this person, she would remember that there was somebody else out there with that thing in their chest, somebody he could feel and see and hear…

...and love.

Then she would remember what he was, what she was, and what they could never be.

After all, she was dead.

She didn’t remember how long she’d been dead. She only knew that she’d been alone for too long. Time didn’t really matter when you stopped growing older. She was stuck like this. Forever 21, as she would joke to herself. She didn’t know how old Harry was, but he had a job that stressed him out every day, so she assumed he was older than she’d been when she’d died.

She’d been trapped in this flat ever since. She’d watched people move her stuff out and other people move their stuff in. She’d forgotten about her loved ones or if she’d ever had them in the first place. She didn’t have any recollection of the life she’d had. She couldn’t even attend her own funeral. If she’d known that she’d be stuck in the place where she’d died, she would have probably not chosen to die here. She missed being outdoors, seeing new people. She wondered if she’d still be in love with Harry if he weren’t the only person she knew.

Honestly, she had never been in love when she’d been alive. She knew that, because even though the memories ceased to exist, she still would have remembered what being in love had felt like. It was funny, actually. When she’d had a heart, she hadn’t been able to use it, and now that she didn’t, she could feel it every day. Could someone love without having a heart? She didn’t know what love felt like to be sure that this was love, yet she knew that she’d rather spend an eternity with this man than to reincarnate into someone else.

They’d been living together for two years. Before him, there had been an elderly couple and a family of four. They’d been fun and lovely. But Harry was...different.

He was alone like her. She felt a deep connection with him in that way, as it was rare to find a person who appreciated isolation and not let it drive them insane. Almost everyone was terrified of being alone. Harry, however, found comfort in being alone. He always knew how to entertain himself. He read books. He sang in the shower. He cooked dinner for himself. He’d call his family to tell them about his day.

Sometimes, as she watched him talk to his mum and sister, she wished she remembered her own family. Would she still want to be alone if she remembered them? Well, she didn’t want to be alone now that she had him. It scared her sometimes. An attachment was a scary thing when you knew that you’d forever be temporary to the people around you. Like the elderly couple and the family, one day, Harry would leave, and she’d have to get used to new flatmates who would most likely leave again.

But that was for the future. Right now, what they had was enough.

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“I’m seeing someone,” Harry said one day.

Y/N didn’t want to eavesdrop, but she was sitting by the window talking to Steve while Harry was on the phone with his sister. It was the first time Y/N heard him say the person’s name. He was smiling the entire time as he talked about her. Y/N loved seeing Harry smile, so it didn’t matter what made him smile. She just wanted to see him happy.

He told his sister that the woman he was seeing was coming over tonight. He seemed excited. Harry had only ever looked this excited except for when his favourite show came on. That was how she knew he loved this woman as much as he loved that show, which was a lot.

“Can I join you guys tonight?” Y/N asked him when he ended the phone call.

He put his phone back down and looked right at her. If she had a heart, it would combust right then and there. But what she didn’t expect was him marching towards her, thrusting his hand right through her chest and shutting the window. Steve flew away. Harry turned and left.

The place where his hand had been burned with its absence, leaving her frozen as she watched the bedroom door fall shut. He couldn’t feel her, but she could feel much more than a dead person was allowed to feel.

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Dinner was nice.

And so was the other woman.

It was funny how Y/N would refer to her as ‘the other woman’ when she’d been the one getting all Harry’s attention. She was sweet, blond-haired, great smile. She sat at Y/N’s spot at dinner. Y/N didn’t mind as she wasn’t eating anyway, yet it saddened her that she didn’t get to tell Harry her boring stories; the other woman was doing most of the talking.

Harry listened to her and laughed at her jokes. He never responded to Y/N that way. She’d been fine with it before, but seeing how he interacted with someone else made her want to vanish into thin air.

It was the first time in two years that she’d seen another living person beside Harry, and yet she had never felt lonelier.

After dinner, Harry asked if the woman wanted to spend the night and she said yes, so Y/N retreated to her spot – the bathroom. For some strange reason, she found comfort there. She would just get into the empty tub and lie there until morning.

Before Harry had moved in, she’d stayed in the bathroom at night while the living were asleep. Since Harry, she would usually spend the night outside his room. He’d always sleep with the door open and a lot of pillows. She didn’t want to be intrusive, but she’d heard him crying one night. His stepdad had just passed away and she’d stayed with him to keep him company, even though he hadn’t been aware of her presence.

She’d sat beside him on the bed as he’d cried. She’d told him that dead didn’t mean gone, that his stepdad might still be around, or have gone to heaven to get a new better life.

To be honest, she didn’t know if heaven existed for she didn’t get to leave this place, but maybe heaven only existed for the ones who deserved it. She was too good for hell, not good enough for heaven, so she was still here.

That night, as she was lying in the tub, gazing at the shadows of objects cast on the ceiling, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d seen at dinner. A happy Harry. A truly happy Harry.

She’d always wondered what he looked like when someone made him laugh so hard he forgot about everything else, or when he blushed because of the things someone said to him, or when he looked at someone like they were the only person that mattered. Now that she’d seen it, it felt like torture.

She would never make him laugh. She would never get to hear him call her beautiful or tell her jokes just because he wanted to see her smile. He’d never get to know her. That was the worst part. It hadn’t bothered her before, and now it was too late to undo her feelings for him.

She didn’t have a heart, but as she lay her palms on top of her chest and shut her eyes, she could feel it breaking.

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Ever since that night, the other woman would come over very often. It had hurt at first, then Y/N learned to get used to it. It didn’t mean it stopped hurting. She’d still feel invisible tears rolling down her cheeks every time they kissed in front of her. She’d spend most of the day avoiding them. It was hard to do so when she couldn’t leave the flat. She’d tried before. She’d tried to follow Harry outside, but the second she stepped through that door, she was back in the tub.

She was imprisoned in her own home where she felt like a guest. She had no one to talk to, and it had never been a problem before but now it was driving her insane.

Sometimes, she even wished that the other woman was dead. It was bad that love made her blind and envy made her cruel. Whenever that malicious thought crossed her mind, though, she’d think about Harry and instantly felt bad about wanting his girlfriend dead. It wasn’t a nice thing to wish onto anyone, especially when Y/N herself knew how overrated death was.

It wasn’t a solution. Just more problems.

And at the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter if she was hurt. After all, she was dead. Dead people couldn’t feel pain. This was just an illusion. Her pain wasn’t real. If Harry lost someone he loved, that would be real. And she’d take all the hurt just to keep him happy. Always.

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Tonight, Harry came home alone.

She asked him what was wrong, knowing he wouldn’t answer. He went straight to the couch and buried his face into his hands. She wondered if he’d forgotten to take his pills again. She’d call them his happy pills. He’d been taking them for a couple of months now. He was always so sad and numb without them. Lately, it seemed like he hadn’t been taking them.

“I wish you’d tell me what’s on your mind,” she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

Silence sank in. The heaviness in her hollow chest became too much to bear.

Then, his shoulders began to shake.

He started crying.

She’d seen him cry before, but this time she could feel everything he was feeling. And it was even worse for her because she could not do anything about it. When a person cried, they’d feel better afterwards. There was no better for the dead. Just forever numbness. Forever pain. Maybe she hadn’t gone to hell because this was her hell. What had she done to deserve this?

Whatever. This wasn’t about her.

She wished she could wipe away Harry’s tears and tell him things that’d make him feel better. She felt powerless. There was nothing she could do to help.

She sat and watched him cry for what seemed like forever. When he finally stopped, he took out his phone and texted the other woman.

This time, Y/N read.

They’d broken up. The messages didn’t say why. All Y/N knew was that Harry was madly in love with the other woman. He’d sent so many messages asking her to stay, telling her he couldn’t live without her. And she never responded to a single one.

“Harry…” Y/N murmured.

Harry shook his head gently as if he’d heard it. Then, he got to his feet and padded to the bedroom. The door fell shut, leaving Y/N with the uncomfortable silence that could smother her.

She started pacing back and forth outside his bedroom. Her head swam with half-formed regrets. She wished she’d done something to stop him from getting to know the other woman and falling in love with her. But what could she have possibly done? She was dead. She was a ghost, floating around, haunting this place. She couldn’t keep two living people from falling in love. She couldn’t stop the woman from breaking Harry’s heart.

But that was one thing about not having a heart, you’d hurt twice as much trying to protect a heart that wasn’t your own.

Something crashed.

Glass shattered.

The world stilled for a second as Y/N burst into the bedroom.

There he was. Staring right back at her.

But there was also him. On the floor. The real him.

Those weren’t his happy pills.

“Harry!” she screamed and rushed towards the Harry on the floor. His ghost stood there watching in silence as she tried to wake him. She couldn’t touch him. She could only scream and if he’d never listened before, he wasn’t listening now. “Harry, please wake up...Please wake up…”

She lay her palm on his chest. He wasn’t dead. She could still feel his heart beating. His skin pale and his breathing slowed. Half of him was still fighting to live and as long as the other half didn’t overpower him, he might be saved.

“Who are you?” asked the ghost standing beside her.

She looked up. The other Harry was looking right at her, not through her. This one could see her.

“I’m Y/N,” she said, still in shock.

“Y/N,” he echoed.

She’d heard him tell the other woman that he would repeat a person’s name so he wouldn’t forget it. He could hear Y/N, see her and now he knew her name. Her invisible heart swelled for a second, but then she could feel it, the beating of that living thing under his chest. He was still half-alive. But he wouldn’t be for too long.

“You must hold on,” she told his ghost, panting heavily as she started freaking out. “You can’t...you can’t die...you must...I don’t know....get back into your body before it’s too late.”

“I don’t know how, and I don’t want to,” he said, staring at himself, and then at her. She didn’t like the look he was giving her. It was as if she was an exotic animal and he was a curious child going to the zoo for the first time. “Are you a ghost?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, rising to her feet, trying to avoid his gaze. “I-I died here…”

Silence.

“How long have you been here?”

She shook her head. “I don’t remember. When you’re dead, your memories start to fade. Now I don’t remember anything from when I was alive.”

“So there’s no afterlife?” Harry asked, his voice breaking a little. She looked up and saw him staring at his own body with a pained expression that could be regret. “You just...stay here?”

“I don’t know about the other ghosts, but that’s what it is for me,” she said, rubbing her arms.

“Aren’t you lonely?” he asked.

“Well, not really. I’ve got you.”

Her answer seemed to surprise him. He blinked. “But I couldn’t see you or talk to you.”

She raised a soft smile. “But I could see you and talk to you. That was enough.” Harry was giving her an expression she could not interpret, so she hurriedly went on, “Believe me. Death is overrated. You don’t want it.”

“But what if I do? I lost my job and someone I loved. I have struggled every day for the past few months, so why bother?”

“So you think it’s easy for me?” she asked. “I don’t have a heart, yet I still feel things and I can’t cry and the feelings won’t go away. They’ll still be here when everyone else leaves. Dead doesn’t mean gone but it’s the end of second chances. I’ll never get to celebrate my twenty-second birthday. I’ll never get to graduate. I don’t remember my family or if I ever had one. I don’t get to make friends. I don’t...don’t get to be loved…

“And if that doesn’t sound bad to you, just think about all the people you’d leave behind. Your mum, your sister. You won’t remember them but they’ll remember you. And they’ll have to carry the pain of losing you until it happens to them. I didn’t get to see them one last time because...if I tried to leave this flat, I’d just...just keep coming back here. I’d never get to apologise to them for abandoning them. I regret it every single day. And I don’t want it to happen to you.”

The Harry in front of her was quiet for a moment. The Harry on the floor was struggling to breathe.

“If I die,” he spoke, his eyes meeting hers, “you won’t be lonely anymore. Why are you trying to talk me out of it?”

She took a moment to think. Then, “Because I love you.”

His eyes widened as he parted his lips. He didn’t believe it. For the first time, Y/N could see herself in him. She wouldn’t believe it if someone told her they loved her, either. She thought she couldn’t be loved. That was why she’d chosen the easier way out. It wasn’t easy; she knew that now. So she wasn’t going to let him make the same mistake.

“You think no one cares, but I do,” she said, reaching for his hand. She held it, lacing her fingers with his. “So please hold on. If you fully give up, you cannot be saved.”

He looked at himself and then back at her. “Where did you die?”

A pause.

“The bathroom.”

Sadness set over his features. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said, smiling. “I’ve never been better than I am now.”

“Harry!” shouted a female voice as the front door burst open suddenly and frantic footsteps rushed into the room.

The moment Harry saw the woman he loved, hope lit up his entire face. The woman screamed as she collapsed by his body and pulled out her phone to call an ambulance. She kissed his face and told him how much she loved him, that she was sorry, that she’d take back all the things she’d said, that she wanted to spend many more years with him.

Y/N felt herself losing grip of the other Harry. He started to fade. She tried to hold onto him, but it was no use.

And before he was completely gone, he smiled at her and said, “Thank you.” And she thanked him, too. For seeing her. And not giving up.

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Harry didn’t remember anything when he came back from the hospital. He got back together with his girlfriend, who finally moved in with him. They lasted for two years and their relationship ended on good terms. After that, Harry, now with the job that he loved, started seeing other people and stopped taking his happy pills. He’d got better. He was happy all the time. He didn’t remember his conversation with Y/N, but sometimes she’d catch him staring at the bathtub. She’d pretend that he could see her and she’d smile and wave. Maybe he could, but he didn’t want to freak her out. Who knew?

He moved out of the flat after a few more years. The last night he was there, she’d lay on the floor beside his bed as he slept.

The ones after him were fun. Y/N liked meeting new people. One couple even had a pet and she finally had someone to talk to. Still, sometimes she would think about Harry and wondered what he might be doing now.

One night, while lying in the tub, she discovered a tiny word someone had written on the bathroom wall.

Hello.

She’d been here long enough to know that it hadn’t always been there. She recognised that handwriting. Though she wished she’d found it sooner, it made her happy as she traced her fingers over it and imagined him thinking of her.

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Y/N didn’t know how much time had passed.

But Harry did return.

When he came in, she almost didn’t recognise him. He was an old man in a wheelchair. She’d overheard him talking to his caretaker that he wanted to spend his last days in this flat. He stayed in bed for that whole first week and she’d lie beside his bed and talk to him each night.

He died of old age.

One night, he went to the bathroom and lay down in the tub and fell asleep and never woke up.

She stood in the doorway, watching him.

Then, she felt a tap on her shoulder. When she turned, she saw the same Harry who was young and handsome and wearing the same clothes as the day he’d first seen her.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hi,” she said.

Apparently, when you died, you got to choose the age you wanted to be. She’d chosen to be twenty-one, the age she’d died. Harry had chosen to be twenty-four, the age he’d met the ghost girl who had saved his life.