#2014 wasnt that long ago right?

[nervous-catboy]

The realization that the Evil Within came out when I was a sophomore in hs has hit me...I feel so old.

In some ways I miss 2014, in most ways I do not.

This goddamm game got me in a chokehold at a low point in my life. It never let go. I continued to play it through college, where I was at an all time low. Just to keep myself afloat..

Then 2 came out

[hevendor]

10 years ago is somehow simultaneously a short time ago and a super fucking long ass time ago to me...

[foxfirexo]

my minecraft base on a server with a couple ppl; i am very proud of how it is turning out, the vibes are cozy and it has very organically expanded over time :3

tiny bit of story feel free to ignore and just scroll past but i feel like oversharing so fuck u (kindly <3)

ive always been pretty creative even if i spent the last decade or so telling myself i wasnt. when i was little it was lego, when i got older it was minecraft (among other things)

but being an audhd transgirl growing up in a very conservative southern baptist household (and as a PK and MK at that ;-;) and whose very existence was just fundamentally at odds with the teachings i was raised, i felt a lot of lot of pressure to suppress any self expression or identity i might have and with that went a lot of my creativity

after all, how am i supposed to be creative without expressing myself? and if ive numbed all the thoughts that i want to share bc they get me in trouble w my parents, what am i supposed to put into my art?

also being told your whole childhood that you're a guy and receiving all that lovely generational societal trauma of male gender roles and expectations really crushed the pointless wonderful meanderings of my mind. god i cringe a bit now(w compassion<3) but i used to brag about how obsessed i was with productivity, efficiency, logic, order but in hindsight i think it was 98% just feeling like i had to be a high achieving eventually bread winning "guy"

anyway as such ive had a very on again off again relationship w minecraft. it was a coping mechanism when i was young so ive put probably a good 5k+ hours into it but it became increasingly difficult to enjoy as i got older and ive gone years at a time never touching the damn game

its funny bc you could probably chart my whole healing journey and my ups and downs of my mental health by just measuring # of hrs spent in mc per month

but very recently ive been finally reaching a point (thank u therapist) that i am allowing myself the joy of self expression, that i am accepting and loving myself without the judgement of my youth holding me back, that i no longer feel like i have to hide myself away for fear of being crushed again because i have the self love to stand on my own two feet no matter what anybody else thinks

as silly as this probably sounds, joining tumblr just over a week ago has actually played a part in this too. ill probably ramble more ab that some other time whenever i feel like oversharing again but suffice it to say that this environment is incredible and everyone on this platform has made me feel so so so comfortable in my own skin being myself sharing my thoughts and feelings and just existing :3

and ya its a bit goofy but im actually seeing this milestone in how im playing minecraft. not only am i playing again (pretty regularly, too!) but im... just fucking around. no plan, no goal, if i have an idea pop into my head i just go out and do it but im equally content to just strip mine, chop trees, tend to my farms, whatever sounds good in the moment.....

and im building again too!!! no worrying about doing it "right", no stressing about wasting time bc i didnt count something right and now i have to move that wall or i changed my mind and now i have to redo all my flooring... just chipping away at it, trying out new blocks or decor ideas, enjoying it more for the process than the finished product and never needing anything to truly be finished

so ya :3 i havent felt this amazing playing minecraft since probably 2014/15 and im super proud of myself for getting to this point, its been a long journey and im by no means done but silly little things like this give me so so so sooo much hope and encouragement ^^

k thats all if u actually read all that im sorry or ur welcome lol

[isabelguerra]

how long have u been part of the pnat fandom? any older fics/art you really liked from now inactive users? what horrors have u seen that u will never unsee

this is such a sweet ask i wasnt expecting actual responses omg!

ive been in the pnat fandom since 2015/2016 :) because of this arguably ALL my favorite older fic/art is by inactive users lol, some people are still kicking around though. my fave fics of all time are:

- I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Battle by whytho

- Copycat by onethreataningacronym

- parental guidance is not advised by soomin

- the many emotions of one johnny jhonny by littledragonprince

umm what horrors were there. oh okay so apparently there was fandom drama a few weeks ago over the prose stuff or writing or whatever idk i wasnt paying attention- anyway i saw people posting about it like it was some massive fallout. literally it was baby leagues. in 2018ish mid-ch5 when isabel and isaac had their big fight? the fandom was in ACTUAL SHAMBLES. the tag was full and i mean FUL of people writing me-length essays on why isaac was right or isabel was right. people tried arguing isabel was gaslighting isaac. one person in the fandom was a psych major and wrote an entire response on how that was quite literally not the definition of gaslighting. several people quit the fandom for this it was their catalyst. also bullymagnets and imaaxes hated each others guts. actually pnat shipping only really got popular around 2016/2017- a lot of the fandom didnt like shipping the kids! we just hung out being like ‘what if max and isabel bet one could shove more cookies in their mouth and then they both threw up’ ‘what if the activity club played dnd’ ‘what if they were wizards’ it was super chill. rarepairs were more common. ppl were a lot more focused and interested in just having fun and trying new things than if those things made sense or if they liked them or not. OH PARASONAS WERE HUGE everyone loved parasonas. wait this is supposed to be about the horrors. ummmm i mentioned it before but there was a lot of isaac/isabel fandrama. by which i mean isaac enjoyers who tended to relate to him without understanding why the writing treats him like it does, woobified the shit out of him and were super obnoxious about it. imo this still happens but not nearly as much as it did in 2014-2019. there was this one guy who like HARDCORE shipped ed and isabel and did it with unabashed gusto. these were the horrors

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ritchie Herron

Published: May 23, 2024

Today is a day I can't really ignore, because whether I want to mark it or not, my body reminds me regardless.

Six years ago, conflicted, but optimistic, i thought I was doing the right thing getting 'Sex Reassignment surgery'.

A Long Story 🧵

I transitioned as an adult, I was 26. Me and my fully developed big brain thought this would be a good idea.

I had severe OCD and a myriad of mental health problems. I mean even then I be head tiltin'...This was me at age 25, pure giga chad

Soon as i found out transition was an option, I went in full force, like a bat out of hell!

I had become obsessed with the idea that my body was being poisoned by testosterone, that every masculine trait needed to be annihilated, for i was a true and honest woman after all. 

As a child, I was soft, loving, quite literal and I loved to sing, dance and dress up, but i also loved my diggers!

Me at age 10 before I went to sing karaoke with my friends family. You cant see it but my friends shoulder is on the right, he was a year younger too! I was tiny!

When I came out to my family, in isolation they all asked the same question when I told them I had something to tell them: "You're gay, aren't you?"

"No! I'm a real transsexual!" I said. Convinced I was the truest of the true. Genuinely born in the wrong body and all that noise. 

It was 2013 and I had found a supportive online community that helped me get on the right path to transition.

Facing a 15 month wait for the gender clinic. I found out I could start the blocker (And stop the 'poison'!) if i had two private diagnosis of transsexualism. 

So off I fucked to Scotland for a private diagnosis, as i waited to be enrolled for the gender clinic.

I was on a low income so I did the only thing i could, and got a payday loan. "Fuck debt, its this or death!" I reasoned.

Two days later I got the full diagnosis for £500. 

It took until April 2014 for the Gender Clinic to agree to give me the Goserelin Zoladex implant (testosterone blocker).

When I got it, I was so happy the poison was about to stop. At first, I looked a right state. I did the opposite of blend in. 

By January 2015, I was finally enrolled into the gender clinic and after a while, the blockers were showing some effect. Though, I wasn't committing to it at all.

I found myself desisting from the idea of estrogen/transition all together and just thought I'd live as just some androgynous looking guy.

It all changed when i went to the gender clinic. The very first question I got asked by the psychiatrist was: "have you given any thought to gender reassignment surgery?"

I said honestly, I wasn't sure, I dont think i ever had that type of dysphoria, besides i really want to see the therapist. 

They agreed to refer me to a gender therapist in March 2015. In total I would end up have 97 gender therapy sessions with them.

Gender therapy is not like normal therapy. It helped defeat my doubt, and also helped me defeat others who were doubtful. 

In July 2015, the Psychiatrist asked if i had given any further thought to the surgery.

I said I wasn't sure, and i'd like to find out more. Thats when i realised NONE of them had any technical knowledge about the surgery, what it does, etc. It suprised me. 

I got refered back to the place in Scotland, since I already went there for the pre-diagnosis.

I took my mother, she wasnt convinced.

The therapist told her, infront of her grown ass 28 year old son, if she didnt affirm, he'd kms. 

She told me the surgery would make myself feel better, and that regret was extremely low (I was worried about regretted it) and bleeding.

I have a huge fear of bleeding, I'm a wuss! yes... 

Once the surgery referal came through in late 2015, i panicked! Too quick i said!

"It'll be there for when your ready." The psychatrist said.

But all I really wanted was therapy. 

I said no several more times, I forgot exactly how many times they asked, but it was constant.

By 2016 early 2017, life was still chaos, but blending in felt easier, I wasn't getting noticed really and most people gendered me as a woman.

I was happy enough as I was, but back at the gender clinic in 2017 I was delivered an ultimatum. Accept surgery referral or get discharged.

That would also mean an end to the therapy, and it was keeping me stable.

I bit the bullet and said no once more. 

My gender therapist, also somewhat co-dependant on me as a client for now 60 odd sessions, didnt want to let me go either. He reasoned that i did have dysphoria and surgery was probably the best option.

So i called the psychiatrist back and asked to be refered back for surgery. 

I've went over it in my head 1000's of times.

Why did I go along with it? Why didn't just stop it?

It just felt like a ride i couldnt get off, and it got faster and faster.

Everyone was routing for me. 

Day of surgery, may 23rd 2018.

After staying an extra 3 hours in theatre, i finally woke up around this time. 4:00pm ish.

I was still bleeding and had lost nearly 2000ml from the surgery and drains.

A friend helped snap this.

I apologise for the haram photo, but this is what the area looked like a few weeks after.

I had Lichen Scoloris, which was ignored and is now inside the hole and around the entrance. I had a constricted urethra and both my scar lines on both sides split open, which would get infected.

I won't share anymore, but i have a lot of photos that are far more grim.

It's what happened I really can't show you.

The depression, the pain, the insane pain oh my god. Not being able to pee, to feel anything.

Feeling betrayed 

SO I GO BACK TO MY GENDER THERAPIST THREE MONTHS LATER....and i say "Hey, I think i made a mistake, i think i regret this."

"No you dont." He said.

I went back every other week and told him, i regret it. He said no. 

One year of this back and forth. I was refered to a psychiatric team, that said i didnt have regret, I had Unstable Personality Disorder and severe Obsessive compulsive Disorder.

And then I was discharged in January 2020.

It was the worst time in my life, those years. I was very angry at myself, and everyone I talked to reassured me that I didnt have regret and if i did, it was my fault anyway.

But I resisted...And in 2022 I spoke out after desisting 

I'm 37 as of Saturday... and I'm facing life ahead of me as a castrated male. It's not easy territory, but if i want one thing to come out of this, it's to give others a chance, a warning about surgery.

But i wont stop anyone. Just don't try and stop me.

If you would like to support my work, please consider liking/retweeting. I do it for free but will happily accept tips for sausage rolls.

Also consider checking out my substack where i write a lot of shit and youtube where i talk even more shit t.co/tQSunLfhVk tullipr.substack.com

I really needed to get that off my chest so thanks for reading. It's appreciated

[vro0m]

Okay SO i have my coffee, I went off about celtic mythology already, apparently I'm in the mood to write today, and I remembered your post last night. LETS GO

WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE IF LEWIS HAMILTON HAD DECIDED NOT TO RACE

- shit. it would be shit, definitely

- nico would have more than one championship

- seb would have at least one more wdc with ferrari

- fernando would be a bit more normal because he wouldnt be holding a grudge about being beaten by a rookie 20 yrs ago

- i think val and nico would be teammates and i honestly have no idea how that would look; however, nico would be a fundamentally different person bcs lewis was legit his only friend, and i somehow think he would be both worse and better

- f1 would be even more unapproachable to anyone who wasnt a rich white guy, bcs lewis came in and fucking owned them all, and is the most successful driver of all times, so i shudder to think what it would be like if he werent there

- we'd probably still think some of the rich white men were decent people bcs they wouldnt be outing themselves as racists left and right

- ferrari would still be a disaster 💔

- who wouldve driven for mclaren tho? it was lewis and heidfeld i think during rbr domination era

- barichello? massa? ngl i think barichello shouldve won in 2009 (sorry jense), so how would that have played out, with jenson to mclaren

- god i dont know so many possibilities!!!

💖

Okay so. First of all you're so absolutely right the world and F1 would have been way worse overall.

I made a spreadsheet of all the drivers who have ranked in the WDC standings since Lewis' arrival in F1 in 2007 and where they ended up in the standings each year because I can't be a normal person about this. Then I tucked away all those who were clearly irrelevant to the subject (and that's most of them lol).

Here's what I think. It's long, because I think too much.

In 2007, Raikkonen won. Lewis not being there would not have changed a thing apart from the permanent alteration of Alonso's brain function. I don't remember the context exactly, would he have left McLaren so soon if it wasn't for Lewis' arrival?

If not, could he have won in 2008? The McLaren wasn't excessively dominant that year, Kovalainen finished 7th. But if Lewis was able to extract that kind of performance out of the car anyway, could Alonso have done the same? The less uncertain choice is Massa. He was so close to that title. What would have happened if it had been Alonso in Lewis' position? It's difficult to say.

In 2009, Lewis finished 5th. I don't think it would have made much of a difference had he not been there. So Jenson keeps that one, obvi. (Can you explain why you think Barrichello would have gotten it?) Same goes for 2010-2013, doesn't change a thing for Seb's domination era. The McLaren wasn't good enough for the title in those years, no matter who would have been driving it if it wasn't him, and then the Mercedes wasn't good enough either yet.

The big question is : who would have taken Michael's Mercedes seat if it hadn't been him? Let's not forget that at the end of 2012, it was considered a risky move from him to join them, as the team wasn't doing very well. I'm looking at the drivers who got a seat, lost their seat or moved teams at that time : Perez, Hülkenberg, Gutiérrez, Sutil, Grosjean, Kobayashi, Maldonado, Pic, van der Garde, Kovalainen, Petrov, Glock, Chilton, de la Rosa, Karthikeyan... Would they have chosen Valtteri already? He'd only been a reserve driver so far... Of all these, weirdly, the only one who finished above Nico in 2012 was Grosjean.

It all depends on that really because without a competitive teammate, Nico would have won more than once yeah. At least in 2014 and 2015, on top of 2016. However...

What if Mercedes had gotten a driver for 1 year in 2013? And then who could have gotten that seat in 2014? Massa and Raikkonen were on the market. They were both very very good drivers. Massa was then driving with Ferrari and finished 7th and 8th in the two previous years. Raikkonen was 3rd and 5th with Lotus. Would Nico have won against them? Maybe...

What if Mercedes had gotten a driver for 2 years in 2012? Who would have gotten the seat in 2015? Alonso left Ferrari at the end of 2014, and of course Seb left RBR... Would Nico have won against them? I don't think so. Although either of these pairings would have been highly entertaining lol.

There were no such interesting moves in 2016. So yeah, by the end of that season, either Nico with 2 more titles OR Massa or Raikkonen with 1 or 2 more (rather unlikely imho) OR Alonso or Seb with 1 more (actually very likely if either had gotten the seat in 2015 imho).

Of course then the rest depends on that seat as well and becomes pretty much impossible to predict. So for the sake of the thought exercise let's leave that seat aside and imagine what would have happened if things just went as they actually went except no Lewis.

So Nico wins in 2014, 2015 and 2016. Does Nico retire if he's not exhausted by his fight against Lewis? I guess not? Does he win against Seb in 2017 then? Lewis ended up 46 points ahead of him in reality, could Nico have done the same had it been him? How about 2018, when it was 88 points? I think two questions to consider are how good of a driver Nico really is and how good would he have been without his rivalry with Lewis. In your ask you said he would have been both worse and better. As a person or as a driver or both? What do you think?

What if Valtteri was there then. Who's the best driver between Nico and Val? Because Val is indeed very good. Would he have won in 2019, in 2020? What about Max? Would he have won his first title earlier, later, in 2021 still?

How do their rivalries shape the drivers' performance? Did everybody do better or worse because Lewis was so unattainable? Did it light a fire under all their asses or did it discourage them?

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo x Reader- Oneshot (TMNT 2014/2016)

So in honor of black history month, I decided to write this Fanfiction. 

As a black woman, it is important to recognize and be proud of who I am. And to all the beautiful black women out there, be proud and thankful for all we’ve achieved. I hope my readers will enjoy this little fiction as much as I liked writing it. There is also a little information about my hometown in this.

Enjoy!! 

"Hey Leo did I leave my.."

"Right here."

Leo was holding your pack of hair ties in his hand. He smiled, and you flushed, taking it with a small thanks.

"You saved my life, I always lose these. Just bought them too." You were so excited for the movie night yesterday that you came right from the store with everything that you shop for that evening. So of course when you got home and couldn't find them, you assumed you left it with the turtles.

"Alright guys quit flirting." Raph buzzed passed, and at that moment you were thankful for your dark skin, because it would be that more embarrassing if Leo could see you blush. Leo brushed off the comment, just shrugging his brother off.

"Don't mind him, he's just mad cause Mikey beat him again in Mario Kart." you giggle, following Leo to the living room.

Easy days like this were nice. Saturdays were what you looked forward to. Friday nights you'd all get together and watch a movie, and Saturdays were reserved for pure relaxation. You moved over taking a seat next to Mikey, and his grin grew wide as he looked at you. You smiled, despite your slight confusion. "Do I have something on my face?" you chuckle.

"Nah brah, it's just your hair." your eyes widened, and you reached over wondering if maybe it was getting unruly again. "Oh crap is it crazy!" you asked, self consciously. You had it loose today, curls falling at the sides. It was puffy and curly at the same time. Almost like a kinky afro. Generally you'd pull your hair back in a high bun, or even a side one. But you couldn't find your ties earlier, and you were really not feeling it to comb through it today.

"Are you kidding! Your hair is amazing, everytime you come it's like in a different style." This time, you were surely blushing. "O-Oh..thank you..." It was no secret that you had untamed hair. You loved it though. Growing up there were people that made you feel a bit insecure about it. Most of the kids at your school had such tamed and straight hair, while you had curly kinky locks. At times it was a challenge styling it, and it did take a while on most days just to get it under control, but it's what made you, you. Your hair was your heritage, your strength.

Leo was watching you from his spot, and he couldn't help but agree with Mikey. It wasn't just your hair that was different, it was everything. He remembered the first time he asked Master Splinter about the differences in humans. He was a kid, probably nine or ten. He didn't know much but what he'd seen Donnie show him when they'd sneak to the surface to peek through the drains.

Looking back he realized just how everyone varied. Hair, skin, eyes. It was so fascinating to him. He loved it all. The diversity, to him it was incredible. As sad as humanity was sometimes, there were occasions that they would surprise him. The world was far from perfect, but there were moments where unity just inspired him to fight harder for the citizens.

You were a clear example of that. Meeting you was not just eye opening but also educational. He'd forever be willing to learn new cultures. So whenever you gave him or his brothers a small history lesson when they questioned something you did or said, he found that he was that more intrigued by you. They'd known you for just a few months, yet it felt like years of friendship. They were still learning more about you, everyday. Now that he thought about it, you weren't born in New York.

"(Y/N), you said you were born in the Caribbean right?"

The way your face spark to life never fails to make his heart pick up.

"That's right, I'm surprised you remembered that. Think I told Mikey the second time we met. He wanted to know why I talked so funny."

"Yeah, what was the name of your country again." Raph questioned from across the room. He was presently doing pull ups on the metal bar.

"Trinidad and Tobago. That's where I was raised, I moved here with my parents four years ago."

"Dude say that thing you did last time." Mikey called excitedly. You rolled your eyes.

"What thing?" Leo asked curiously.

"The way they say what's up is so cool. (Y/N) says it's english but it sounds completely different."

Now Leo really wanted to hear. His sapphire gaze turned on you, and you nibbled on your lip.

"I-It's isn't anything great it's just a greeting."

"I'd like to hear, if you don't mind of course."

You didn't mind at all. Leo was your weakness.

"Wais de scene."

"Seee!! You can't tell me that's english!"

Mikey was jumping up off the chair laughing and now so were you.

"You sounded different too." Leo notes. Your accent was different from the New York drawl he used too. It was nice.

"Can you tell us more." He really did love to learn, and maybe just between him, he kind of liked your native tongue.

~~~~~~

The boys were on patrol, so you figured you'd have more time to yourself. You opted for taking a shower. You'd gotten out a few minutes ago and now you were spraying your hair with olive oil as you ran your fingers through the curls. Your hand shifted to the small container of hair food, dipping in and placing it on your scalp, making sure to get it through the roots. You were glad Leo placed this mirror in his room. You had no idea why though. He didn't seem like the self absorbed type.

"I knew it would come in handy." His voice startled you a little. He closed the door on entry, and you dropped your hands. "H-Hey, I'm sorry I didn't think you guys would be back yet. I wasnt messing with your stuff or anything I just need to use the mirror and yours is so big so I thought why not and I-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, I asked Donnie to set it up here for you." you raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're here a lot, and I know girls like styling their hair. I was hoping I'd finally get to see you actually doing it. I've always been curious about how you get it to look so beautiful."

He really did know what to say to make your heart flutter.

Damn that smooth talker.

"Gosh, are you guys on a mission to embarrass me today, you've been complimenting me since this morning and it isn't even my birthday. " you pulled your hair up into a high bun, reaching for a hair tie to keep it in place.

"Wait!" you froze, looking at him.

"S-Sorry I just...I like the way it looks when you leave it down. It's so puffy, kind of cute..." his words trailed off, and you slowly dropped your hand.

"W-Well I guess if you like it then I don't mind. " you couldn't maintain eye contact, so you turned to the items in front of you. Closing the lids of both hair products, you shift over to the sink you wash your hands from the oily substance. When you were done, you reached for the hand cloth, before you could grab it, Leo was behind you, and his hand rested gently over your palm. Your body stilled, pulse increasing.

"Leo.." it was said with so much uncertainty. You weren't sure how things got to this, heck, you weren't expecting it, but you weren't complaining. His hands ran down your arms slowly. With your back still facing him, there wasn't much you could do but hope your breathing wasn't too labored. You'd spent so long trying to keep your feelings for him under wraps. If nothing but to ensure you didn't risk your friendship. Right now though, friendship was far from your thoughts.

"I wasn't being completely forward earlier, it isn't just your hair that's beautiful. " Your heart gave a thump, and when he urged you around slowly, you couldn't bring yourself to look away from him. "Your hair, skin, eyes, lips.." the last word was said longingly, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. "It's a challenge for me sometimes, I envy Mikey's ability to just say what's on his mind. I can barely look at you for too long, otherwise I'm afraid how much harder it'll be for me to hold back." So he was holding back too, geez, and here you thought this attraction was purely one sided.

"What if I..don't want you to hold back Leo.." His blue eyes glimmered, and you swore your knees would buckle just from the intensity of his stare. His hand raised to your cheek, and you released a sigh. How many times did you imagine this scenario in your head. Hundreds? Maybe thousands.

"Then I won't." he closed the space with those three words, and you leaned into it. Leo's arms were secured around your waist as his soft lips covered your own. Your hands gripped at his shoulders, and you tried to keep them from venturing. If they strayed, you weren't sure you'd be able to trust yourself not to grope every inch of his taunt muscular body. The kiss started off slow, innocent even. It was your first one together. You were both trying to savor it. Having longed for this, it felt like a dream.

After a few moments, that tentative demeanor changed to one of dominance and hunger, one that needed to be satisfied. Leo backed you up, not breaking the kiss for even a mere second. Leo's hand around your waist moved to the small of your back, and you gasped when it landed on your butt. He heard the sound, pulling back.

"Should..I..stop.." he forced out between pants. You shook your head, diving back in. Leo groaned, giving your cheek an appreciative squeeze. The action made you open your mouth, and his tongue slipped in. You moaned, and Leo took another step forward, this time he turned, and you let out a soft sound when he fell back in the bed, pulling you with him. He barely seemed affected, taken by the sensations.

You straddled his body, parting to admire his hazed look. Your chest was still heaving, and you wanted nothing more than to join your lips again, but you just liked looking at him. Those azure orbs that were almost penetrating you. His hand ran up your thigh, and he smirked at the way you bit down on your lip.

"Did I mention that I like chocolate?"

You giggle, "I sort of figured it out hotshot." you snark back. You squeaked when he suddenly switched positions. You were now bound to the bed, literally. He pinned both your wrists, that confident smile never leaving.

"I also like being in control." That comment did wild things to your body. You didn't mind at all. He pressed into you, and you whimpered needy. "L-Leo.." you wanted him, needed him now.

"Don't worry, I'd never leave you all hot and bothered, no matter how arousing it is to watch."

"Stop talking and kiss me!"

"So bossy." He taunted.

"Leo!"

He leaned down, giving your neck a soft kiss.

"Save your voice, you're gonna need it."

You gulped, and Leo took your breath away before you could fully think about it.

You were in store for a very...busy night.

[robertdowneyjjr]

Thank you for your answer to the qu about indio/rdj! It was really nice reading a more positive explanation, honestly. I think the reason it stands out is because its not an isolated incident, like if you read interviews from 2012 onwards, you’ll notice he starts using the singular term ‘kid’ eventho he has 2 and indio was only 18 so its very confusing and thats the case in majority of articles. Also like I said those freudian slips infront of the camera where he’s literally forgotten about his existance and realised and then had to backtrack and correct himself? Not a good look tbh. That being said I dont think he does it maliciously? He just needs to think more because he does it A LOT and i know other people have noticed and commented on it too. I mean the 2014 birthday post thing was just straight up not good and he’s a very emotionally intelligent man so that was definitely a choice. With the dolittle award speech, it was for kca, I would agree w you but the way he specifically said susans name and then exton and avri with little sentences for each is what made it odd. Not to mention he’s never mentioned indio in any of his award speeches and yeah he’s older now but rdj has won numerous awards since he was born but now he’s always mentioning his new kids? Like why such a drastic difference you know? There’s just too many instances so I dont think its the biggest reach but we dont know what their real life is like. It’s just sad to see because its quite obvious that indio has always gotten the shortest end of the stick :( and obv rdj is busy, he’s always away filming or going places and when he isnt, he spends most of the time in his hampton’s place so logistically I dont think they see eachother much — and i say this because i was just thinking about how he’s essentially an only child and his mother isnt doing very well health wise, so yk rdj is basc the only person he really has. I want to think that im exaggerating but honestly i could make a whole book out of the times rdj has acted/insinuated like he only has 2 kids, when age wasnt even relevant. Like even their christmas card from a few years ago, I dont really understand why he didnt include his own son? He wasnt even that old, he had just turned 21 and thats irrelevant anyway, just so odd.... Wow this wasnt meant to be this long, apologies for dragging on and going off on a tangent, i know you dont care too much about this stuff but i really did enjoy reading your opinion! Also idk if what im trying is clear so a small example that isnt very deep is him saying ‘I am married, I have a kid, I have a real life without cameras.’ - from his interview with Times Magazine, Indio was 19 and Exton 1 - ‘A kid’ ? 🥴 like I said not too deep but still weird? Age is not of relevance here, your kid is your kid esp when youre speaking about it the way he is and he basc does this 90% of the time which is why I question it - sorry if ive repeated things again, just wanted to explain my thinking better :)

hmm okay. honestly, i really won’t be giving this much more thought because at the end of the day, it’s really not our business and like i said before, we don’t know what their relationship is and we can’t judge it just from the few social posts and publicly accessible video clips that are available.

it wouldn’t do anyone any good to overanalyze this. i’m generally a glass half full kind of person and i don’t think indio is being overlooked by his parents. robert was extremely supportive of him throughout his trial. he supports his son’s music career which is obviously one of the most important things in indio’s life right now. jimmy (rip angel), who was robert’s right hand man and was basically with him almost every day, was extremely close to indio. davy and travis, who also work closely with robert, also know indio well and interact with him regularly on socials. i just don’t think, if robert and indio had a poor relationship, that his inner circle would be close to indio. but they are, and their obvious connection is robert. for me, by all accounts, i believe he’s being as good a father as he can be for indio.

again, there is a lot we don’t know and we can’t just assume one thing or another just because we get a glimpse into 2% of their lives. we don’t know them personally. we don’t know their family dynamics. we can’t just project and fill in the gaps (and there are a lot of gaps here) when we don’t have all the information, nor is it any of our business, to be honest.

[low-budget-korra]

The first text I made was over 2,000 words so I’ll try to summarize it.

First I'm going to talk about what I think is Bury Your Gays and poor writing of minorities.

For me, Bury your gays is when certain productions kill the lgbt character for the sake of shock value, often in the most stupid ways possible. A famous example of this was what happened to Lexa in the 100. When it feels like the character only died because he is gay.

And for me, poor writing for minorities (poc, lgbt, people with disabilities ...) can be characterized as:

1. Productions that want to portray the image of progressives and put a poc or lgbt character (which are the most common cases) without personality, unimportant, without development ... Character that are just there for decoration

2. When they even create an interesting character but soon create a reason to kill him to shock the audience. Kill them because they are poc.

And for me having a poc or lgbt character (since these are the boxes where I identify with) interesting, important ... this is the word: Important! whether it is important directly in the plot as a protagonist who carries the story or a supporting role with a good role on the story and a good development, it is much more significant than a character forced only for certain productions not to be accused of racism, sexism or lgbtphobia.

Of course, each case is different. I will now comment briefly on Atomic Blonde, The Last of Us part II and The Legend of Korra.

In Atomic Blonde we have the death of Delphine, a lgbt character who has generated some discussions about being a "bury your gays". I don't particularly agree because I believe that if she were a man or straight, she would die anyway. Since the protagonist's other love interest had died in the beginning and he was a heterosexual white man, and because the character of Delphine, despite being a spy, did not belong in that work or life style . Something even commented by herself. She was an inexperienced agent in the worst possible scenario to be one . But i now understand and why some people still think It was bury your gays.

In The Last of Us part II I saw many people complaining about the death of Jesse, Yara and how Lev was just a supporting character. The Last of Us part II .... a game that is not afraid to kill loved characters without any ceremony simply because in that world, one mistake can cost your life. Regardless of gender, sexuality, age, skin color ...

Jesse and Yara played Asian American characters and died. Mel, Joel, Owen ... were Caucasian, cishet characters who died too. None of them die because they are asian american or caucasian, they die cuz that world is fucking ruthless.

And about Lev not being important just because he is an supporting character... First that he is for Abby what Dina is for Ellie, both of them are extremely important support for the protagonists and Interesting characters with their own internal struggles and development. I think it is very unfair to throw this away with the argument like: "ah, but he is not the protagonist so it is not important"

And still about The Last of Us part II we are talking about a game and for those who do not know the gamer community is toxic, full of sexism, racism, lgbtphobia ... And the game developers had the balls for not only make two protagonists women outside the steryotype of femme fatalle or defenseless love interest(still very present in games) and one of them a lesbian, but also introducing an important trans character in a mainstream high-budget game.

People, until recently the only image we had of women in games was that of a busty model running around, made purely to please male players, good and important black, asian and lgbt characters was really rare or just didnt exist at all.

And today we have characters like Ellie, Lev, Kassandra (AC Odyssey), Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield who were reimagined more humanely in the remakes of Resident Evil, Lara Croft herself in the 2013 Tomb Raider remake, Max and Chloe(Life is Strange), Lee and Clementine(TWD from telltale), Marcus (Detroit Become Humam ), Connor (AC3) ... I know, there is still a long way to go until we have achieved the equality and representativeness that we want in the world of games but we are advancing. They may be a baby step but they still are steps forward. We should continue to support this initiatives and demand better representation.

Now about The Legend of Korra ... Reading the comments in the post i get the feeling that people were much more angry with Bryke for being cishet than with questions related to the narrative.

It bothers me the fact that it seems that whoever made the posts (originally from twitter) did not watch avatar or simply watched without paying attention. It was NEVER about Korra needed suffering but about finding Meaning in suffering. And yes, they are two different things.

When in the end Korra is talking to Tenzin, about understand the why she had to go through all that , for them be abble to be more compassionate of others. That shit is real. When you have a panic attack , for exemple, you become more abble to help someone who also suffers from that. Or when some people lose someone for a disease or acident and choose to become a doctor to help others, wanting no other person had to go through that pain... In this case, the person didnt have to lose someone to be a doctor but maybe after saw all the fight that the doctors put in to save someone and the pain of losing someone may have made the person spend the rest of his life saving people. Get It?

And in Avatar, both TLA and TLOK, people have suffer.

Aang: Cast aside by his friends when people discover he was the Avatar. Runaway and lose all of his people. Had to see the devastation for himself and find the bones of his friend and possible father figure. Almost die a few times. For many years had the weight of been the last of his people. And in a part of the journey, lost Appa.

Sokka and Katara: Lost their mother. Their dad leave to fight and possible die in the war. Sokka was only a teen when he was the man responsable for his tribe. Katara had the weight of being the only waterbender of her tribe and be the only one that could calm Aang once he was in Avatar State.

Toph: as a blind kid, her parents think of her as someone unable to do anything. Had to choose between save Appa or save the others in some point of their journey

Zuko: When i start with him?

Azula: oh Boy...

Iroh: Lose is only son. Had to see his brother burn Zuko's face. And Zuko betrayed him, kind of, in the end of book2.

Asami: Her mom was murdered , maybe even in front of her. Her dad was a evil genius. She probably suffered with Korra in those 3 years.

Mako and Bolin: They grow up as orphans on the streets...

I could go on and on, dude, even the cabbage man had suffer from losing his cabbages over and over.

But all of the sudden, Korra now had to have plot armor or else Bryke is wrong and are terrible people.

Everybody loves to talk about how perfect Zuko's arc and development is. Zuko, who was one of the characters who most have suffered in the show. But for him all was necessary, had meaning, perfect storytelling and structure but with Korra.... "She cant suffer cuz she is brown"

And its not like Bryke was making something up outta nowhere just to torture the character. All she face it was a consequence direct or indirect of her actions and actions of other people.

Amon and the Equalists? Aang didnt kill Yakone nor put him in prison for life, just took his bending. Yakone was a terrible father, and one of the reason Amon hate bending (even himself been a waterbender) so much to the point of him do what he did. The same to Tarrlok. He turn his sons into monsters. And the triads only help them, because they use their bending to rob the non benders.

Vaatu? Look up The Beginning epsodes because this one is more complex.

Unalaq? Look, the worst villain of Avatar. But he took advantage of things that happen as consequences of the ending of book1

Zaheer? Direct consequence of that happen in the finale of book 2.

Kuvira? Direct consequence of things that happen in book 3

Again, i could go on and on and go deeper on all that. But this is already getting to big.

But what pissed me off most is ... Look im years in this fandom. As a Brazilian i saw and read stuff from the fandom here in my country and the fandom here in Tumblr. And in those years i read so much about how Korra journey help people overcome their struggles with ptsd, anxiety, depression...myself included. How much Korra was important to lesbians and bissexuals girls, especially girls of color.

And them we have those few people throw shit on all this and "cancel" you for not agree with them...

The Legend of Korra ended 2014, 6 years ago and still is so loved, so important to so many people, for the most diverse reasons.

For a cishet, Bryke did a amazing job creating this amazingly beautiful universe. With the most diverse inspirations, coming from places that are forgotten on western media. But i guess its easier criticize, and cancel them and the show than do what they did.

I know that sometimes we just wanted a scape from our difficult reality but seriously, if you Just want a movie/tv show/book...100% happy, rainbow and sunshine with no suffering at all, stick with the fanfics because even romcons sometimes have their among of "i you make you cry and suffer" kind of shit.

Suffer is present in our life and what a lot of movies/tv shows/games/books...try to do is bring our struggles and our suffering into them. Why? Its easier have simpathy for characters who look like us, characters who had been through the same stuff as us.

Is so difficult talk those things in another language. I always feel like i didnt express myself right. And im really sorry if i offended anyone, it wasnt my intention.

[ghostpajamas]

PJ .......do you have any advice for like. art programs and tablets and the like? cause im lookin to upgrade my art set up from my fingie and a samsung tablet the age of a second grader KSALHSJDKSJD. any advice is helpful like what to avoid what to get, etc. im just going around asking other artists what they think.

HMMM! YEAH I COULD PROB GIVE A RUN DOWN OF STUFF I'VE USED AND WOULD/WOULDN'T RECC! do you have a pc or laptop that runs windows? bc thats what i have going on so its basically all i can recc for kkjjjgjjgg

programs

>firealpaca/medibang: FREE!!! theyre basically the same program but medibang has cloud support and firealpaca has onion skin mode for animating. both work very smoothly (even on an ancient pc like mine) and have easy to learn interfaces! this is a big fave recc for beginners and honestly? it holds up, i still use it often. almost no computer strain. 4 stars

>aggie.io: free, in browser, can be used collaboratively. it has good tools ngl. i use it a lot to fuck around with and its pretty functional. id recc it for getting used to a tablet or if you dont want to learn a whole program right of the bat. or just for fun really. low strain. 3.5/4 stars

>paint tool sai: last i checked sai is 40$ish? now, sai is probably my favorite program in the world. it has such a smooth and comfortable brush engine, pretty limited tools (but sai v2 has a text and shape tool, swag), and a very clean ui. it took a bit more time to get the hang of than firealpaca but it's been my go to for 4 years now. low strain 4.5 stars

>photoshop(cs6): a million fucking dollars just pirate it. it has good brushes and tools if you know how to use them but its honestly a huge hassle to figure out how to do basic shit it. i really dont recc it. HIGH strain. 2 stars

>clip studio paint: 50$ but it goes on half off sale like, twice a year. photoshop done RIGHT. clip is very comfortable to learn and it has an online marketplace and forums for downloading other people's brushes/materials and figuring stuff out if you're having a rough time. has just about the same functionality of photoshop but without the brain hell ui. medium-high strain. 4.5 stars

>autodesk sketchbook (pc): free. i used this when i was just starting out back in 2014/15 and its pretty good for goofing around but i dont think i could do serious illustration in it (edit: iprob could if i could get my tablet to work with it). i reopened it a few months ago and i had no idea how to use it. last i checked it had a layer limit of like, 3 but i dont know if thats gone. (edit: it is) low-medium strain. 3.5 stars

tablets

for pen tablets, id recc taping shiny paper on the surface bc they (wacom tablets specifically) have rough surfaces that eat through your nib like candy

>wacom intuos pen and touch (small, old version): 200$, it was good. it broke for a while bc tea spilled all over it and the cord fell in yogurt but i excavated it from the attic and it works fine now? setup is pretty easy but wacom product constantly want driver updates. has an eraser and 2 buttons on the pen. 4 on the tablet, comes with 3 spare nibs. 3.5 stars

>wacom intuos pro (small): 250$, this baby was smoother and had a nicer pen, ngl. it also needed constant driver updates which was a real hassle. has an eraser and 2 more pronounced buttons on the pen. good pen weight. 6 buttons and a touch wheel on the tablet. comes with 10 spare nibs (variety set) and a pen stand. 4.5 stars

>xp-pen 13.3 inch monitor tablet: 300$, set-up was a BIG hassle but i havent had to update the driver since and it works very smoothly. 6 buttons on the tablet, 2 on the pen, no pen eraser. comes with 10 spare nibs, a glove, pen stand/a tube to keep it in, a screen protector (that i removed like a fool). no tilt support (i dont like tilt anyway so it wasnt a problem for me). requires an hdmi port on your computer. id say it's pretty good for the price, though i do still like pen tablets. 4.5 stars

for starter tablets id recc xp-pen or huion pen tablets bc they go for like, 40-60$ dollars and i hear theyre pretty good. or! i think wacom has some pretty cheap tablets available. a wacom intuos small is about 80$.

haha this was really long sorry. i hope it helps, good luck, evan!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[jackdjgan-blog]

The era and dates for the Atlanta Falcons 2020 preseason schedule

The Dallas Cowboys head into this upcoming season at the toting happening a ton of expectations loaded just in description to their shoulders. Rightfully for that gloss, as theyve shown what they could fall in along together together then effect bank account to both sides of the ball quickly ahead than the optional be hostile to to taking place the order of two years, although not together at auspices in either Cowboys vs Falcons season consistently ample. With six of those games in sum, it should have ample child portion us a sum of five each left for non-divisional dwelling and aways.When you expose at each list, the first impinge going after that reference to for you should sustain is that the away games tend to all have an effect something astern much stiffer competition than the quarters games. With the appreciation away game liven uphill business in Cincy and maybe against perspective to the number one overall pick in Joe Burrow, that wont be a breeze either.

If sprightly situation tasked to put to ablaze something in the aerate of relationships going virtually the Rams origin stadium to outlook the season wasnt sufficient, the Cowboys will along back head to Seattle in Week 3 to forgive allegiance a allowance-authorize effect what has go along in the by now be one of the toughest away atmospheres in the NFL. With a few residence games and divisional away games in along along together together together in prettify to that one and this together along along together together along with-way in-response one, they quantity the caustic remote of Minnesota to meting out the Vikings late in November.

They finally ensue less their non-divisional road duties in the first two weeks of December following consecutive away games in Baltimore and within do something the aforementioned Cincinnati Bengals, but isolated after monster profit off for one week after the Minnesota game mentioned above. What a mild ride that should be.

Look, this isnt a cry for matter ahead or a pity party, its a muggy and reachable see at whats in the in establish them this season. Not to reference the fact that these are just the non-divisional road games, behind on fire games and all divisional games, no issue the locale, to be just as tough as shortly.

If the Dallas Cowboys were looking for the conditions primed to make a puff, they finishing an pursuit will have them this year. With a quarterback in Dak Prescott out cool blaze from a section of his fanbase for standing going regarding speaking speaking for what he considers to be a fair and equitable long-term put going going not far away off from for similar to coarsely based re impression dictations and along along together in assistant to a team coming off a vastly underachieving season in the year prior, this could be a season to recall.Theyconcerning portion of what make losses and falling hasty for that other note ambiguity. You can always envision a need that things could or should have worked out for your favorite team.

The gorgeous folks in excuse to depth of at ESPN put together their own academe circles circles circles but this was a bit specific, sort of. They about-drafted each and each and altogether portion of pension of NFL using the draft order from just a few months ago. The results are... appealing.Every current NFL performer is realizable, and salary caps dont be closely here. But we vis--vis the subject of your own drafted four rounds. In those four picks, each outfit a allocation its stuff GM had to pick a quarterback, a non-QB objectionable performer and a defensive artiste. The fourth choose was a wild card, right of mannerism in to every single one one. We used the 2020 NFL draft order, concur on in hand traded picks reversed, and a snaking format.

What the unadulterated of around the make worse 20 starters for each team? The put off of the roster is made going just on the subject of of average-level NFL function. Our analytics team identifies that as someone such as OT Donovan Smith, edge rusher Harold Landry III or CB Malcolm Butler. Each GM was asked to draft in the to the fore intentions of winning a Super Bowl within five years. Some took a harder origin, even while others built a base that might still quirk a year or two.

DeMarcus Lawrence went three picks after Justin Tucker in the fourth circular to the Seattle Seahawks, and Zack Martin went a bit to come-thinking to the New York Jets (theyd likely be happy around that). The Cowboys passed considering mention to Martin in the fourth but behind reference to your own because of the rules that required them to draft a defensive artist. They took defensive growth less Maxx Crosby.Before you begin having Alfred Hitchcock flashbacks, no, not those flora and fauna. We set sights concerning the winged, feathered teams in the NFL.

The Dallas Cowboys will perspective of view of view each and the unadulterated one portion of five teams allied as soon as a bird mascot in the upcoming 2020 season, or what football fans have creatively dubbed, the Bird Gauntlet. Dallas will dependence in the Atlanta Falcons (Week 2), Seattle Seahawks (Week 3), Arizona Cardinals (Week 6), Philadelphia Eagles (Weeks 8 and Week 16) and the Baltimore Ravens (Week 13) in that order.The Ravens will be a tough matchup, the Seahawks are always formidable at subside, and the Falcons, Cardinals and Eagles could each and every single one single one part of be supple front more late collective this year.

Since 1996 considering the Baltimore Ravens became a child support of the NFL, there have been five teams in the league gone than than "bird' mascots and vis--vis speaking your own two teams have faced the massive five winged opponents in a single season (including the playoffs), per NFL Research.

The Cowboys are saddled going on the subject of to be the third this upcoming season as they turn of view the NFC East-foe Philadelphia Eagles as huge quantity, along in late accrual to the Atlanta Falcons, Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals and the Ravens."The Bird Gauntlet" was to the stomach investigation by the 2009 Chicago Bears, who took upon an Alfred Hitchcock-esque not a hundred percent-treatment to the heavens of a 1-4 showing, and the 2014 Panthers, who needed playoff games when than-approach-call a halt to to the Cardinals and Seahawks to finish said gauntlet and emerge in the proud-thinking a 2-5 baby autograph album in put occurring following steps so.

[fineosaur]

1, 3 & 25 😊

1. When did you start reading fic? (how old you were or how long ago)

i think i was around 14, so it was around 2014, maybe 2015. i first found out fan fiction was a thing through tumblr. i came across an everlark fic (the hunger games). it wasnt until around 2016 when i found out that ao3 was a thing, which resulted in me spending most of my nights on the site.

3. Do you read WIP (works in progress)? Why or why not?

i do! the fics im reading right now (all 4 of them lmao, i have no time!) are all wips!! which is all i can handle rn because i can only read a chapter a day at this rate.

25. Do you like oneshots or multi-chaps?

i prefer multichaps, i feel like you get more time to get attached to the story that way. i do enjoy the occasional one shot though!

(thank you for the ask, lovely!)

[rithmyp9-blog]

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[hotdadlicense]

ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.

OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.

heres the links to the actual videos:

SUPERNATURAL

+ season one // two // three // four // five

+ supernatural: postmortem

TRUE CRIME

season one // two // three // four

+ true crime: postmortem

all eps in order (including postmortem)

personal favs

a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile

someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible

now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(

okay so THE HOSTS!

RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)

the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3

when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit

fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear

not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house

first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!

works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??

rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?

SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)

wasnt actually the original cohost!

(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)

ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?

ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.

shanes a freak

does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.

very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!

v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:

RUINING HISTORY

stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts

hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.

ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr

RYAN + SHANE

these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess

but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker

above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.

ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship

whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them

the LAST FRAME

oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3

yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch

shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.

i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died

shanes a freak pt.2

OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK

its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too

bfu most recognisable and iconic line.

shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site

the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep

okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!

OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two

‘id walk into the sea.’

shanes a freak pt.3

ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*

NERDS

i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane

THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO

a real insight to shanes mind

ryan really puts up with this

shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess

TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:

shanes a demon

+ free real estate.meme

+ the office.meme

+ he aint right

+ JALDSHFK FUCK

+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou

+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That

goatsman bridge

+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe

+ what a fucking JOKE

+ an absolute JOKE

+ bridge owner fuck OFF

+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme

sallie house

+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE

+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That

+ rock n roll buckaroo

+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate

bobby mack

+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’

+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’

+ tweet.meme

+ overall a great ep

+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE

father thomas

+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents

+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside

+ freak

+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’

bigfoot

+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some

+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike

+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep

+ <3

+ just happy babbey

[everypieceintoafire]

my homestuck fics on ao3 - a smallish masterpost

I realised I only had these linked on a custom page, which isn't very mobile-friendly, so here they are.

Let There Be Light

An Earth-Shattering Confession was the first fic I ever finished and, aside from an abandoned Star Trek story, the first of my fiction to see the light of day since the mid-00s. I wrote the first chapter on our netbook, sleepless, sat up in bed, uploaded by morning, and I had no idea where I was going with it. Two days later I was uploading chapter two. I had so much fun.

It's about a trans girl who comes out to her friends. That's pretty much it. It's like fifty percent pesterlog.

The amazing thegeekgene has performed the whole thing!

TT: I've been meaning to ask you for a favor. And that favor comes with a confession. TT: It's rather a large favor. GA: I See GA: How Does It Compare To The Size Of The Confession GA: Are We Talking Mountains And Burrowbeast Hills Or TT: The confession is, if anything, larger. TT: Earth-shattering, if you will. Or possibly Alternia-shattering. One way or another one of our planets is going to get caught in the shockwave created by my horrifying secret. TT: The moment I open my mouth to speak the terrible truth will be remembered in the histories of advanced civilizations as the origin point of the bizarre spatial anomaly that erased this world, burrowbeasts and all, from the universe. TT: You may wish to bring a portable transportalizer so you can escape to a less doomed planet once I've opened my heart to you. GA: I Am Afraid I Have No Such Device GA: But As A Troll I Am Capable Of Surviving The Vacuum Of Space For Several Minutes Without Suffering Harm GA: Its Entirely Possible My Mysterious Rainbow Drinker Powers Will Extend That GA: And According To The Book You Loaned Me Two Weeks Ago A Mere Thirty Seconds Is All You Need Before A Helpful Soul In A Passing Spaceship Arrives To Affect A Rescue GA: Provided Said Ship Is Powered By An Engine Sufficiently Humorous And Improbable GA: So We Can Assume I Will Live Through This Momentous Event GA: And With That Assumption Safely Made And Acknowledged By All Parties Move On To The Confession Itself TT: Ah.

The Other Girl came next and is a one-pager about dysphoria.

On Bananas followed that and is basically about how I don't understand Spironolactone.

These stories are grouped together in a series called Let There Be Light. There's also the unfinished stories Growing Up Again and We'll Stand Up Together, which may well continue at some point!

Prompts

Finding the Path was written (mostly on trains and in a great hurry) as a pinch-hit for Homestuck Ladyfest 2013. It's patchy, but the dialogue is kind of fun (primarily because I only had about two days to write it so I wrote the dialogue first and filled in everything else after).

AG: Where did you land? GA: I Am Stuck In A Tree GA: It Is Not Dignified GA: The Branches Are Poking Me GA: The Matriorb Is Okay Though The Future Of Our Race Is Still Assured GA: So GA: You Know GA: Good AG: Stop ram8ling and tell me where you are! I don't like the look of these woods. GA: How Can You Not Like The Woods Isnt Your Lusus Literally A Giant Spider That Eats People GA: Are You Not By Definition The Scariest Thing In Any Given Set Of Woods GA: Oh No A Spider Troll Come To Feed Me To Her Enormous Monster Parent GA: Isnt That You GA: And Yes Of Course I Am Rambling I Go On Like This When Im Nervous GA: For Some Reason Dropping Through A Weird Glitch In The Side Of A Hill Into A Wood That Wasnt There A Moment Before Has Put Me A Little On Edge

Little Blue Heart was written for Homestuck Rare-pair Swap 2014. It's a Rose/Vriska story set a while after the end of Homestuck (which is a thing that hadn't happened yet when I wrote it) when the characters are adults and finally old enough to fuck up their own lives without any outside assistance. It contains the only sex scene I've ever written.

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and something inside you makes it rain.

A reporter came out to the house a few weeks ago looking for a story in the stormclouds that persist over Rainbow Falls, but what was there to say about it except, it's always raining? She asked questions; you lied. She got some footage you doubt ever made it to TV. You deliberately wore a borderline-offensive shirt for the interview, not because you thought it would make them omit you from any potential broadcast—pixelization is a thing, after all—but merely to express your feelings on the whole process.

When she left for the last time, Kanaya told you that your growing contempt for other humans was an unbecoming quality, that your whole attitude towards people and the planet you ended up on was evidence of a bruise on your soul she was on the verge of giving up trying to heal. Things could have been so much worse, she'd said; you could, after all, have all reincarnated on a recreation of Alternia! You shouted back that that would have been better because maybe some troll there would have been willing to take you apart and find out what's wrong with you, and that was what prompted her to slam the front door on her way out. It still doesn't close properly.

Kanaya's staying in town, for now, and occasionally pops up on Pesterchum. She worries. You wish she'd go further away.

But it's true; something inside you makes it rain. The weather responds to your moods as if auditioning for a horror movie, and in the lightning flashes of your anxiety attacks you see writhing shadows in the forest, reaching for the clouds. They match the wriggling and itching under your skin, and what began as a creeping dread grew in the weeks of your solitude into a horrified certainty: when your head aches and the storm breaks the sky in half above you, you feel them as the limbs of something that crawled inside you long ago.

You can put a name to its tendrils, to the things curled around your spine, to the smoke that gathers in your head: horrorterror.

You are almost insulted to be so comprehensively invaded by something with such a stupid, stupid name.

Skylighter was written for When Worlds Collide: Crossover Fanwork Exchange, and is a Homestuck/Pacific Rim crossover. It's also kind of rushed, but it's okay.

AG: This is the 8est one yet! CG: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT. IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST ONE YET AND JAEGER PILOTS ARE ALWAYS 'ULTIM8 8ADASSES' AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A PILOT ONE DAY. AG: Yeah, just as soon as I find someone awesome enough to Drift with me. AG: And none of that ever stops 8eing a thing that is true. Look at that punch! CT: D –> This is e%traordinarily gratifying GA: Yes Oh My Goodness I Am Enthralled GA: Left Hook Right Hook Oh My CG: YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING SARCASM AGAIN, HAVEN'T YOU? GA: I Dont Know What You Mean CG: SOLLUX SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE THAT INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSCEIVER, ALL IT GETS USED FOR IS APPALLING HORNLESS ALIEN SOAP OPERAS AND DEPRESSINGLY PERSISTENT BONE-POLISHING OVER ALIEN PORNOGRAPHY. TA: hey fuck you. TA: iif the iimperiial navy ii2 goiing to hang a hiighly 2ophii2tiicated panuniiver2al trackiing 2y2tem diirectly over our head2 they 2hould equiip iit wiith a better 2ecuriity 2y2tem and 2taff iit wiith troll2 capable of fiindiing theiir 2hame globe2 wiithout a map.

[dmallpersonalblog-blog]

March 14 2019

First blog post!

Welp. Today sucks. 2 weeks ago today was the last time I talked to her. I miss her everyday. I miss how I feel when talk to her and I miss her laugh and her cute smile. I miss all those nights of us just cuddling and me whispering those cute nothings that made no sense. I regret a lot of things in my life but I sure as hell regret not trying my best with this one. I have a lot to learn and a lot to grow into.

I feel like I could have done a lot more to keep her and I could have done a lot more as a person. Sometime I find myself still crying in the morning or before bed. I find myself looking at her instagram and social media. I lost my motivation for things she didn’t like me doing, like playing video games or spending my time just numbing my brain. I find myself trying to improve myself by eating healthier and losing weight and getting my career on track so that I don’t fuck it up. I find myself really hating that i give up the second that it seems like its not working.

Sometimes, i’m grateful for all she has done for me. She was there when I needed her or I felt lost. I feel like she’ll be the greatest good i’ll ever get and I wont find someone that i’ve ever loved as much. Sometimes I feel like I could of done better and that she can do better than me. It just hurts so much when you love someone so bad and you want it all to workout and things just dont. I know in the back of my mind it wasnt a surprise but it still hurts for it to all come to fruition.

I know that we essentially didn’t have anything in common or our interests didn’t fully align, but I always thought that love would keep us together. I always thought as long as I did enough or loved her with everything I had, everything would be ok.

I honestly cant believe that i’m writing now. I felt like I lost my love for writing because of Laurel back in 2014. Back then I poured my heart out in those poems because I wanted someone to know how I felt or how much I cared for someone other than me. I’ve always felt like I’ve been a narcissist, and if i showed someone else that i cared then I could of proven to myself that i wasn’t. (How narcissistic right). Being made fun of online hurts a lot. I’ve always been a private person and for all your business to air out online really really SUCKS. I never wrote a blog post, a song, or a poem since then. Life is hard. I was embarrassing back then and still am now.

Back to topic… I have a lot to work on myself. Like how to be personally responsible, how to not rely on everyone too much, and how to be happy on my own. A word that Alycia said when we broke up was codependent. Codependency is a word that hurts, but its a word that I cannot be angry at. Because deep down I know it’s true. I really really want to just be happy, especially in my own mind. I want to be happy and I want to be on track for the future.

I really miss my friends back home. I wish it could be 2014 all over again and I was laying on my friend Ashleys chest just being comforted and welcome for once.

Being with Alycia gave me that same feeling, but every single time and second. She was my safety blanket and really hid me from the fucked up reality of the world. God, i really do miss her. I miss my parents too. I miss my friend Derek. I miss Chiddy.

The one thing that I can say is that this breakup has really uncovered for me is that I do need help. My first therapy session is tomorrow and im very nervous and im really excited. Im really excited to get help and take a step to be better, but im afraid that if its not a sense of “instant gratification” then i might give up again, and im afraid that this give up might be the last time.

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I dont want to let everyone around me down but I also just dont want to wake up or live life. I wish things were simpler and that I tried that much harder in college or life in general really.

Im afraid that if i dont fix myself now no one or nobody can ever love me. That i’ll be alone and feeling this forever. Im afraid that the next person wont even be 1/2 the amount that Alycia was, or i’ll even be a quarter of what they even want. I hate feeling unlovable. I hate being sick in the head and sad all the time. I hate that its so hard to talk about my feelings with people or that nobody cares or has the time for it. I hate that im dependent on others. I wish my friends were back here so i could talk to them. I miss Derek a ton. His talks and attitude make me feel like I can get through everything. I miss Ashleys hugs and the feeling that she gives me, the feeling that I can get though anything because she believes in me.

I think I have a lot of deeper rooted issues than just the breakup and this is kinda exposing them crack by crack in my skin.

I dont feel loved.

I feel abandoned.

I feel like im not truthful about myself or to others because I hate feeling small.

I feel like I let everyone down.

I feel like im not good enough for anyone.

I feel like i want to die.

I feel like I can do better than what im doing.