#200x icons

[screensland]

Cheryl Blossom in Blossom's 666, issue #01.

200x dash icons.

[aroeddiediaz]

Eddie instantly has 200x more chemistry with someone the instant they call him out on something. That’s why Shannon “invade your workplace so we can talk without being tempted to fuck instead” is still haunting the narrative to this day. That’s why Buck “growling like a guard dog” “you totally wanted to punch me in the grocery store” “tell me about your not-heart attack” “tf is going on with this Kim girl” is his soulmate. That’s why Josh “you’re a guest in this house” is so fun to ship Eddie with despite that being basically one of two interactions they have. That’s why Kim “i see you staring at me” “tell me everything you wanted to tell your wife while I’m cosplaying her”, despite being objectively terrible for him, was weirdly compelling. And that’s why Hot Priest Father Brian “I think you’re punishing yourself” is an instant icon and i hope we see more of him.

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

______________________________

Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

______________________________

Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

______________________________

Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

______________________________

Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

______________________________

Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

______________________________

A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

______________________________

Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

______________________________

The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it’s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

[lilybug-02]

Forgive me for this but I'm now going to insert a cursed idea into your mind. The coffin of Azzy annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Kris

🪦🪦

*You read the Gravestones - Kris Dreeamuurrr (200X-2O0o00X) They/them icon of the ages. Died doing their favorite activity. Eating moss. (It was poisonous) - Asriel Dreaemuurrrrr (199X-20*@asdsdX) Beloved by all. He was much cooler than Kris. Cause of death: slipping on a Banana. *You have a feeling these gravestones are...unreliable narration.

like this? :D

[sylvanlore]

Tri-Klops' Visor Re-design 2

1. Original 200x. 2. Short hair. 3. Long hair, braided.

4. Long hair, ponytail, bandanna with circlet, non-rotating. 5. Veil, visor with gemstone eyes, rotating. 6. Mask, circlet with three glass/gemstone plate eyes, non-rotating.

7. Veil, mask, visor with gemstone eyes, rotating. 8. Veil, mask with chains and gemstone eye, non-rotating. 9. Mask with glass/opal/moonstone eye, skeleton hands, chains, non-rotating.

10. Long hair, visor, standing rotating circlet with three gemstone eyes. 11. Hood and visor, non-rotating. 12. Long hair, hood, skeleton hands, glass/opal/moonstone eye.

Headcanons:

I do not like Tri-Klops' Icons of Evil comic, but it did contain an interesting tidbit - that Keldor enchanted the visor to keep Tri-Klops subservient. I expanded on the idea and made the visor a kind of slave collar, magically enchanted to prevent Tri-Klops from ever deceiving or betraying his master. Obviously that would become clear to Tri-Klops at some point, so now he's searching for an opportunity when he can free himself from his thralldom. (Obviously he can't just take it off and throw it away, perhaps it is permanently locked to him, or if it's removable he is magically compelled to put it on again, as well as repair it should it break. The only way to break the enchantment is to destroy the visor completely.) The visor can therefore be either a piece of machinery, or magical.

It also makes Tri-Klops much more ambiguous, a wild-card.

Another thought that stuck with me is making it look somewhat crown-like. I imagine that, while Skeletor is the Supreme Overlord of his realm, his lieutenants act as lords of their respective spheres. Evil-Lyn is the Witch Queen of Eternia; Beast Man would be Lord of Beasts; Mer-Man is the King of the Seas, and so on. If I were to re-design them all I would implement some kind of regal symbolism in them to show their status ... and add some appearance of power and influence to Skeletor's court. Tri-Klops' visor therefore has a bit of a crown element, whatever the role you place him in; Forge Master of Snake Mountain, Lord of the Blade, Spy Master, Skeletor's Chief Advisor ... (It also adds that Dark Souls-vibe that I like.)

Anyway, pick and combine the features you like the best, and gimme some suggestions ;)

[emperorsfoot]

I’m hearing talk of the Mattel Cinematic universe

So I ask you, how would you write Adam meeting Barbie?

So I, surprisingly, have a lot of opinions about something like this.

A.) 1 move does not imply a "cinematic universe", unless its the cinematic universe contained within the movie; which is not what this Ask is about.

B.) the people talking about a "Mattel cinematic universe" how disconnected from reality are they? The WGA and SAG/AFTRA are still on strike. How would new movies in a Mattel CU get made?

C.) I don't actually WANT a Mattel Cinematic Universe. There are lots of concepts and ideas that I like in fan works, and greatly enjoy in fan works that I DO NOT thing should be made canon. He-Man meeting Barbie is one of those concepts that I like in fan fic, but I just don't see how Mattel could make it work in a cinematic universe; especially not the universe established by the Barbie movie.

Barbie was a fashion doll. Contrary to the introduction of in the fill, Barbie was not the first fashion doll. But she was one of the first fashion dolls that featured an adult face and adult body, and Barbie's first jobs were fashion model, nurse, and flight attendant, all of which were female dominated fields and reflected our societies expectations and demands on women. The Barbie movie is a more overt telling of and criticism of those same expectations and demands. While the Barbie movie is about the toy, it is also about those same themes and how the shape the experience of womanhood.

Masters of the Universe, on the other hand, doesn't know what it is. Mark Taylor's original concept of Masters of the Universe was a lot darker and a lot more complicated than the cartoon that got made by Filmation. The earliest concepts of MotU more closely resemble Game of Thrones than Filmation He-Man.

Filmation made a wholesome cartoon where He-Man prefers to find peaceful solutions to problems instead of using violence, violence was always the last resort for him, and every episode ended with a PSA to teach lessons of tolerance and acceptance. More than half the creative team at Filmation was also queer in some way and so those queer themes bled into the show and Filmation He-Man became a queer icon.

But al lot of those queer themes and wholesomeness were lost in 2002 when Mike Young productions tried to reboot the show. The 200X MotU was a lot edgier and a lot of the characters personalities her changed from what was already established by Filmation, or their roles in the story were changed in ways that the characters didn't seem to fit in where they were anymore (big example being Orko).

Things went from bad to worse after that when Mattel licensed the characters to DC Comics to make the He-Man comics. Now suddenly, He-Man, our wholesome hero who previously preferred peaceful solutions and taught valuable lessons, is now killing civilians, and committing war crimes. This wasn't just a deviation from what He-Man used to be, this was the exact opposite of what He-Man was established to be by Filmation.

Now we have Revelation and Core/CGI, and Revelation appears to be a show that's having a conversation with both Filmation and DC Comics, and that's nice. Like a mediator trying to find middle ground between the two. (Honestly, between the two, I like Core/CGI better.) But, Core/CGI is a total and complete reimagining of the world and characters and at first glance very little of it is recognizable as "Masters of the Universe".

If they were going to make a MotU movie in the same style as Barbie, then like Barbie tacked the issues of the difficulties of womanhood, the expectations and pressures it puts of women, and patriarchy in general and how men are also harmed by the patriarchy; then Masters of the Universe would have to take on the issues of "identity". Not just the whole double like of Prince Adam and He-Man, he's still one person. He's still the same person regardless of if he's "He-Man" or "Adam". He's still him. Instead, it should be "identity" in terms of what makes someone a "hero", what makes someone a "good person". Why do most of our "heroes" tend to be violent men who punch other violent men? Why can't a "hero" be the single parent raising their adopted child? Why can't a hero be a displaced traveler cut off from their original home who doesn't understand how the world they're in works? Why can't a hero be a wealthy and powerful family who takes in said traveler? Why can't a hero be the woman who stays shut in her home and never leaves, but always makes herself available to give advice and support? etc.

That's what I think a He-Man movie should be about.

But I don't think is should cross over with Barbie, and I don't think they should make a "Mattel Cinematic Universe".

[mallowmaenad]

You’ve Unlocked Tumblr Chaos Challenge Mode ‼️

> Anon Hate now deals 50% more damage

> In order to gain followers you must now meet a benchmark on each new post in likes

> Creating a sideblog now causes you to lose 500 followers

> You can no longer scroll up on your dashboard

> The Dread Hunter will pursue you throughout the website, killing them grants you access to their exclusive Great Demon Razor weapon which has a flat damage output that is higher than most weapons whose damage scales with your attributes and guarantees an instant kill on a critical hit.

> Porn bots and Superwholocks are more likely to follow you

> Post investments have 20% less yield

> Every 3 months you will have to defend yourself against a callout post

> Failing to reblog a post demonstrating your support will cause 200x more reputation loss with the respective faction. (For example, failing to reblog “Reblog if you support gay rights!” will now cause -1,400 reputation loss with the homosexual faction.)

> Fishing scam ai in direct messages is significantly improved.

> Failure to follow terms of service now results in a permanent IP ban by Automattic

> Shock damage is 70% more effective against shields

> Crates drop less ammo

> Haiku bot and Portmanteau bot are less likely to appear

> Promanteau bot is now immune to the “Bitch Fartman” spell

> “Kung Pow Penis” spell now requires 100 Mana points even when using collaborative casting.

> “Mishapocalypse” event is reinstated and spawns waves of Nephilim Fanatics for the duration.

> Snoozing Tumblr Live now drains 10 Mana every minute for as long as you sustain the effect.

> Funny ads will now be more rare

> If your general Reputation goes too low, your chosen faction’s tumblr tags will be search banned and deemed sexually explicit.

> You can now only take levels in catgirl URLS starting at level 32

> “I Like Your Shoelaces” special move now has a smaller timing window for a perfect parry.

> The Block button can only be used 20 times. Additional uses can be earned by turning in items dropped from enemies defeated in public arguments on your dash at the bounty board.

> Having blogs with default icons now cause you to rapidly lose followers, reputation and vitae and will draw more aggro from mobs.

> Tumblr Premium users have 80% more health

> You can only make 15 original posts and 30 reblogs in one day, afterwards you can expend Raid Tokens dropped during Raid Bosses.

> When your post is reblogged, the original text can be edited by the reblogger.

> “Favorite Taste: Cock” reputation status effect now has an endless duration.

> Gun accuracy is reduced further while moving or using equipment without the necessary skill level.

> Tiktok reposts are more likely to appear.

> More infighting in Lesbian subfactions

> Your areas of effect are now indiscriminate

> “Reclaim a Slur” activity has a higher chance of failure

> Creating a gimmick account is now locked behind faction access (Autist class can bypass this if they have the correlating Special Interest perk)

> Chance for your nipples to present as female any time you post a picture of them

[352ave]

"Y2K NOTE PAPER"

DATE: 200x

FORMAT: Glossy paper.

DIMENSIONS: 12.3cmx9.2cm

SOURCE: Believed to be from a children's jewelry charm set, featuring one charm for every month.

COLLECTION: 352 AVE Archive

“During the Y2K era, the practice of girls writing notes experienced a surge in popularity as handwritten communication took on new significance. Fueled by a blend of technology's rise and a yearning for personal connection, girls often exchanged intricate notes with friends, classmates, and crushes. These notes, often adorned with colorful gel pens, stickers, and expressive doodles, became a means of self-expression and a way to share thoughts and emotions.

As society navigated the transition to the new millennium, the allure of handwritten notes offered a refreshing contrast to the digital age's emergence. This trend was depicted in popular culture through movies, TV shows, and teen magazines, cementing its iconic status. Though the digital revolution eventually transformed communication, the Y2K-era tradition of girls writing notes remains a charming and nostalgic representation of a simpler time when heartfelt sentiments were shared through tangible, handwritten tokens of friendship and affection.”

[skeletap]

I am trying to get into He-Man and related media so I have a deeper understanding of your fics/other works. What do you recommend I should watch or read?

Prima Materia is essentially a quilt of the original filmation show/accompanying material, the MYP/200x cartoon/accompanying material, and the official compendiums. Coreternia and the Thornimps are an original concept to Prima Materia, though.

Prima Materia is heavily inspired by the MYP/200x canon, so I would suggest watching the MYP show, which is completely free to watch on youtube through Mattel's channel. As well as the show's MVCreations: Icons of Evil origin comics (you might need to futz with the archive mirrors a bit).

You can also watch the original filmation show (also on youtube), if you want to, since it basically holds the foundation of all of MoTU anyway. But I would say give a look through the Compendium books whether you watch it or not, which you can read on archive: Vol 1 // Vol 2.

I use those two books above as reference quite often while writing Prima Materia, and it encapsulates canon over the broad of MoTU, as well as the original PoP. As Etheria doesn't exist in PM, there are elements of it folded into Eternia instead, but that is essentially just plants and animals.

Do keep in mind that I treat Prima Materia as its own 'canon', instead of an AU, so there are plenty of creative liberties taken with making things from other canons work in its lore. But, it's nothing cryptic, and if you know the run down from what I've said above, you should get everything.

[ccbks-blog]

CreateStudio 3.0 Review: Easily Create 3D Animated Videos in Just Minutes with Createstudio!

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In this blog post, we'll dive into the features and benefits of CreateStudio 3.0 and how it can transform your marketing efforts.

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CreateStudio 3.0 is more than just a video creation tool; it's a gateway to crafting engaging, high-converting content that can elevate your marketing strategy. With its lifetime access offer, extensive features, and user-friendly interface, this software is a must-have for anyone looking to enhance their video marketing game. Don't miss out on this exclusive deal—unlock the future of video creation today by visiting https://linke.to/cst30.

[usagirotten]

Teela, Captain of the Royal Palace Guard, graces the Masters of the Universe figure by Mondo

A new figure has been revealed which may excite fans of the Masters of the Universe franchise. The Warrior Goddess Teela has been given a new 1/6 scale figure, but it's a "Timed Edition" release, so collectors will want to order one for themselves during the brief window that sales are live.  

  The Teela 1/6 Scale Figure – Timed Edition by Mondo pays homage to the iconic character from Masters of the Universe. This collectible figure is meticulously crafted and comes with an array of features: - Height: Standing at 11.5 inches, Teela commands attention with her presence. - Material: The figure is made from high-quality PVC and ABS materials. - Weight: It weighs approximately 5 pounds. - Design Elements: - Faux Fur: Teela features faux fur elements, adding a touch of realism to her outfit. - Weaponry: She comes equipped with an impressive arsenal, including a spear, a serpent staff, a sword, a sword sheath, and a shield. - Portraits: Teela has three different portraits: - Neutral Portrait: Capturing her stoic demeanor. - Angry Portrait: For those intense battle moments. - 200X Portrait: Inspired by Mattel’s 200X line. - Epic Serpent Headdress: A striking headdress befitting the Mystic Guardian of Grayskull. - Free Shipping: Available to the United States, Canada, UK, and the EU. - Payment Plans: Convenient payment plans are offered. - Release Date: Expected to ship in July 2024. - Limit: Each person can purchase up to 3 figures. - Pre-Order Window: Open from April 2nd to April 12th, 2024. - Artists Involved: - Concept Design: Emiliano Santalucia - Sculpt: Tommy Hodges - Paint: Mark Bristow - Packaging Art: Florian Bertmer - Packaging Design: Jordan Christianson - Photography: Raúl Barerro - Art Direction: Hector Arce Read the full article

[vosh-daemon]

Look, I'm old school. In the 200X ship wars, when you were mad at someone you'd just send them reaction image. I'm talkin about Kingdom Hearts gifs, Haruhi / Lucky Star icons, the occasional Death Note inspograph.

Nowadays people will straight up shoot you.

[emperorsfoot]

All very good questions.

In the “Icons of Evil” comics that tie-into the 200x cartoon, Keldor states that the visor Tri-Klops wears is enchanted to make Tri-Klops loyal to him (and later Skeletor after his change).

I donno if I choose to live that since it’s never referenced in the show, or even in the other comics.

My personal theory is that Keldor|Skeletor was Tri-Klops’ assignment. This page comes from the exact same show bible that states that Keldor is the son of Miro and Randor’s half-brother. That makes Skeletor just as much a descendant of Grayskull as Adam. If the purpose of the secret society is to protect the bloodline of Grayskull, and if Triks is a member, then who’s to say his job isn’t to protect Skeletor?

I'm still on the 2002 MotU show bible and this shit just keeps getting crazier and crazier!

The secret society thing in and of itself isn't that shocking. But the fact that Tri-Klops is a member of it is out of this world! I'm losing my fucking mind!

And to a lesser degree, its interesting that Illumina comes off sounding like a good guy in the show bible, while in the Classic-Line comics, Illumina was a villain who tried to kill He-Ro II.

[jane-doe-gallery]

[nagisa-cchi]

✧*:･ﾟ2k Followers Request *:･ﾟ✧

↳ requested by @sattosugu

Midoriya Izuku icons (200x 200)

my icons page

Feel free to use my icons but please credit + reblog/like if you do! ♥

[emperorsfoot]

at one point, I think I saw part of an actual established comic where it featured a panel where Beast Man was chewing on Skeletor's/Keldor's head while they were both in the jungle and I was wondering if you know what issue this was from? I ask because I tried searching it earlier but couldn't find anything other than the fact that it might have been from one of the early 2000s MOTU comics.

It is indeed from the early 200X reboot of MotU.

Specifically part of the "Icons of Evil" run that tied in with the 2002 cartoon and featured backstories for a number of the villains. Among them was Beastman's origin story when he first meets Keldor in the Vine Jungle.

I can DM you a link to a site where you can read the comic, BUT I need to make sure you're over 18. The comic is perfectly safe for work, but the site its hosted on is overrun with porn banners.