#20 pages and I'm hooked on the first paragraph

[witchcraftingboop]

Uni: Put together an eportfolio of all your college work!

Me: Yeah no problem, I never delete anything anyways

Fall 2019 Me: The statements put forth are directed at the youth, their "huddled masses yearning to breathe free" (Lazarus, 1883). Let the spark of defiance be fostered in the years going forward and our roots lain bear. Revolution has always been at the heart of American history for a reason.

Me: .... so... I'll file this under.... ethics?

[literaticat]

Is it better to start an MG novel with an immediate, eye catching hook to immediately introduce intrigue and tension, but I recently received feedback on my query package from an agent-editor freelancer about my books opening pages: “I feel like my one concern if this was a submission that I got, is that we are jumping into the action WAY too soon for me, and that I'm more drawn towards novels that take their time and get us grounded in the main character. So just a head's up, if you get feedback like that, I'd kick around that first chapter a smidge.” However, I got very positive feedback from a different agent on the opening paragraph. I love my story’s opening, but am obviously worried other agents will have the same criticism of not first being grounded in the MC before the action starts. Is this just one of those subjective preferences… some agents prefer a slow start while others like a faster start. My inciting incident happens pretty immediately, and overall, my story is very fast-paced.

FOR ME, I tend to agree with that agent. I'm not saying I need, like, CHAPTERS of grounding in the characters first -- but SOMETHING would be nice!

I give the example of an opening where a fist is flying at somebody's face, we are smack in the middle of a fight, somebody is bleeding, etc. OK, I guess that's exciting, and I get why an author might choose to do that -- but for ME, it would be a lot more successful if there was *something* first to let me know at least whose side I'm supposed to be on! Do I think the person being punched deserved it? Are they being bullied, or are THEY the bully? Am I supposed to feel bad for them? Or glad that the puncher is finally getting their licks in? It's hard to feel any sort of investment in the fight when I have no clue who the participants are or what the stakes are.

VERSUS, if there was just some sort of set up -- a PARAGRAPH, even -- to make me understand who this person is, what their deal is, and why I should care -- then the fist flying at their face will make me gasp (or cheer, or whatever I'm supposed to do!)

I'm currently watching the Apple TV show THE STUDIO, which is a satire about Hollywood -- and this answer made me think of the third episode, which has a (fake) Ron Howard movie. It opens with a shot of a taxi cab on a NYC street. The scene is set -- Lower East Side, old fashioned looking cars. We see the cab driver, looking tired, it's been a long night. He looks at a picture of him and his kid that he has mounted on the car console, we can presume that he's working hard to support the kid, he loves the kid, wants the kid to have a better life, etc -- he's a normal dude with a nice family. Suddenly a guy leaps into his backseat and is like DRIVE! DRIVE! And the driver at first is annoyed, like "hey man, where are you even going" -- but then realizes, oh shit, this guy is bleeding out in my cab and also THROWING MONEY AT ME, AND OOOH SHIT MAFIA ARE SHOOTING AT US OMG so obviously hightails and suddenly they are in the midst of a shootout and he's an unwitting criminal.

I thought of this scene when it came to this question because BASICALLY, the fake "movie" starts out *in a shootout* -- the inciting incident happens almost IMMEDIATELY and we are off to the races -- but because they gave us that one shot, maybe, 20-30 seconds, of the taxi driver, we get immediately that he's a normal guy who is just trying to do his job, he has a young child, he needs money, he's not part of a criminal thing -- so then when he is thrust into this insane scenario, you actually are like "oh nooooo" -- what's he gonna do? NOT help the guy who jumped in his cab? NOT take the money being thrust at him? The stakes are very clear and compelling.

Without that one establishing shot in the opening to set the scene and briefly intro the character? Had it literally opened with the shootout? We probably would have gotten to the same place in the end, but it would have made for a much more confusing and less compelling opening.

IN MY OPINION.

[cultivating-wildflowers]

2024 Reading - April

April was a month full of sci-fi and false starts. I have now DNF'd as many books as I've finished from my short TBR for the year. And yet? Best reading month of the year so far?

Total books: 9  |  New reads: 5   |   2024 TBR completed: 5 (3 DNF) / 14/36 total   |   2024 Reading Goal: 20/100

March | May

potential reading list from April 1st

#1 - West with the Night by Beryl Markham - 5/5 stars (audio)

I didn't plan for the exploration(?) theme we've got going on (Emily Wilde, A Natural History of Dragons, Lynne Cox) but I'm not mad about it. This book had me hooked from the opening paragraph. Markham's voice is full of adventure and passion, and the story flows effortlessly from one event to another of Markham's highly eventful life. This is how you tell a good story.

Couple of notes:

As would be expected from a woman raised in Africa (specifically Kenya while it was still British East Africa) from the start of the 20th century, there are aspects of the way Markham tells her story that would come off as racist to modern sensibilities. It wasn't malicious or long-winded, only matter-of-fact.

If you want a better picture of Markham as a person, find one of the biographies written about her. West with the Night talks about her adventures, not her life. (Based on her own telling of her adventures, Markham's exactly the kind of character I'd expect to see in a Sayers novel. Look her up; then look up Hemingway's review of her book. I mean, come on; she was born Beryl Clutterbuck.)

I wouldn't recommend the audiobook for this one, at least the one narrated by Julie Harris. Editing wasn't that great and there were often weird breaks and pauses in the middle of sentences. You could hear Harris turning pages several times. (Which is fine if you like the sense of someone reading the book to you, and Harris's accents and pronunciation were great to my untrained ears.)

#2 - Recorder by Cathy McCrumb - 5/5 stars (reread, mixed print and audio)

I have had this book on my brain since first reading it two years ago--likely in part because I never would have picked it up on my own, had no great expectations for it, and then was blown away--and have been anticipating a reread in light of the final book of the trilogy being released in February. Happily, it holds up well to a reread. Really well. I cried again.

I won't say it's for everyone. It is very much a character-driven story with a pretty straightforward plot, and at times the writing style can get a little stilted (mostly in dialogue). But it's exactly what I needed at the time, and it has so much of what I love in stories. Also, there are cats. In space.

(I do recommend print over audio; the narrator is fine but her inflections are weird, and there are a lot of J-sounding names, which makes listening confusing.)

#3 - Aberration by Cathy McCrumb - 5/5 stars (reread, mixed print and audio)

My original review of this book mentioned the growing cast as my main issue, and on a reread, that's still my only real complaint. It's not really even a complaint, but there are so many characters to keep track of and they're moving all over the place as the various crises demand that by the end, I honestly forgot about a few of them.

The overarching plot continues at a solid pace and the tension ramps up excellently, though it's easy to forget what the actual goal when the Recorder and her friends are all just trying to survive one threat after another. And man, the relationships! Truly the highlight of this series. And it made me cry again, which automatically earns it some points.

For some reason when I started this book the first time, I'd expected it to take a slightly different route--literally, I thought we'd see more of this story's world outside of flashbacks. That doesn't detract from the story, only my expectations. (Also, I need someone to read this who enjoys it in kind of the same way I do so we can make our own memes. Because I want memes.)

More like this: This is going to sound lame or cheesy or something, but I cannot help comparing this series to Murderbot. Murderbot and the Recorder start out at kind of the same place: outcast, bodies and minds honed to a specific purpose, seen by many as less-than, but slowly drawn into a tight-knit group that gives them a better purpose and a fuller identity. Despite their vast differences, there are a ton of similarities between the two stories, including how each is set in some version of a futuristic authoritarian society (though they each come at that from very different angles). The major difference (apart from tone) is obviously that Murderbot is known for the action and high drama and explicit language; while Children of the Consortium is Christian sci-fi and follows different standards (but mercifully without being either preachy or sanctimonious). I don't think someone would like one specifically because they enjoy the other, but here we are.

#4 - Guardian by Cathy McCrumb - 4/5 stars (audio)

This was a satisfying end to the trilogy. Some of the narrative choices left me a little confused, but they worked well enough. And based on how the first two books went, they make sense. We get a manifold happy ending, and I'm content. It earns four stars because the character relationships and interactions continued to deliver. Heaven knows what my neighbors must have thought of me, giggling and in my hammock in my backyard while I listened to the love interest very tenderly help the wounded MC out of her armor. I am a simple woman.

Coming to the end of the story, however, I'm certain I wouldn't recommend this to many people. It was very much a comfort read to me, and it has its flaws: repetitive writing, pacing issues, and an open ending I'm weirdly ambivalent about. Conceptually, it's a great story, and I'll definitely look for more from this writer.

#5 - Pyramids by Terry Pratchett - 4/5 stars

Another fun one from Pratchett. It was relatively light, it was quick, there were assassins and kings and handmaidens, and naturally everything exploded splendidly right at the end. Teppic is cool.

#6 - Queen of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner - 5/5 stars (reread, audio)

I am so normal about this book.

#7 - Watership Down by Richard Adams - 5/5 stars (reread, audio)

Hadn't planned on getting to this one until at least next month, but my goodness if it isn't the perfect audiobook to listen to in the background, and I seriously needed that. (Though I caught a LOT of little errors in the audiobook editing because I was reading along for bits and pieces.)

#8 - Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein - 4/5 stars ('24 TBR, Top 5 Anticipated Read)

If we look back at my January reading, we'll notice that I tried a different Heinlein book at the beginning of the year and...hated it. Didn't even finish it.

But I kept this book on my list because it's a classic and my sources said it's far and away much better than The Puppet Masters, so I wanted to give it a chance. Despite my better judgment. After all, I enjoyed The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress. Maybe Starship Troopers would split the difference and tell me if it's worth pursuing any of Heinlein's other works.

Despite the fact that it has a lot of the elements that made me put down The Forever War (see below), I enjoyed this one? I think it was the narrative voice. A quick and engaging read. Honestly, Heinlein could write a decent story so long as he kept the women out of it.

But I think this will be my last Heinlein unless someone manages to talk me into another; and it'll take a lot of convincing.

More like this: Honestly, I don't read much in this line so the fact that we have space wars against bug-like aliens obviously made me think of "Ender's Game". I also thought of "Old Man's War" in terms of style. And this starts out on the same footing as "The Forever War", though the tones are very different, so perhaps that's worth checking out if you really want more like this? (goodreads shows these books are three of the four top "readers also enjoyed" choices, alongside one by Arthur C. Clarke. so yay me.)

#9 - At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald - 4/5 stars ('24 TBR, audio)

Splendidly vivid and enthralling, a little bit saccharine, and...uh. Very Victorian. Didn't like the ending, I'll be honest, though I wasn't exactly surprised.

DNF (I was struggling this month, folks)

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver, with Steven L. Hopp and Camille Kingsolver ('24 TBR)

The funniest tag for this book on goodreads is "author get over thyself", which about sums up my sentiments. I got all of 45 minutes into the audiobook before I gave up due to excessive eye-rolling. Intent: good. Delivery: bad. Robin Wall Kimmerer runs a similar line of discussion in Braiding Sweetgrass and I didn't have to suffer being condescended to for the entirety of that book.

Secret Contest Book (YA Sci-Fi) - I did my very best to be objective since I don't really read this genre any more. The concept was intriguing, and I wanted to like it, but right out of the gate the writing couldn't keep up with the idea. Which, unfortunately, is not a surprise given the theme of this contest. Alas.

Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo (‘24 TBR) - Another book I decided to try after one of the mutuals said they liked it. It isn’t for me, but I see the appeal. I’ll be keeping this one in my back pocket for future recs.

To Sleep in a Sea of Stars by Christopher Paolini - Pushed myself through two chapters before giving up. Not my style. Felt very Brandon Sanderson with the verbosity. (Also, and this is probably just me, I spent those two chapters going "yeah, Chris, you were definitely home-schooled".)

The Forever War by Joe Haldeman (‘24 TBR) - Again, not for me. The elements that do appeal to me (relativistic space travel, sci-fi tech, group dynamics) I can get elsewhere without the elements I don’t like (the stuff you typically find in war stories, especially those written in the 60’s and 70’s). If someone wants more of a war story than a sci-fi story, or is interested in the historical background that apparently drove the writing of this book, I say check it out.

Currently Reading:

DragonSpell by Donita K. Paul - Finallyyyyyyy.

[cherryxblossxms]

Pardon me for asking, but what's your writing process like?

I'm trying to write more and the hardest part is just get that first bunch of words on the page

Hello hello!

I totally understand that feeling. Starting a fic can be a struggle, I have a hard time figuring out how to start and how to hook the reader into the story, plus just getting into the groove of things... I ramble so I apologize if anything doesn't make sense 😅

For me, my writing process is typically this: when I think of a fic, most of my thoughts are regarding either the main subject of the fic or the climax of the story. I kind of have to move backwards, starting with where I want the story to go, and then determining how the story gets there. Once I've solidified what exactly I want out of my story, choosing the method in which we get there will become easier.

The best thing I found you can do is make a broad outline of what will happen in your story, almost as if you were writing an essay. Just write any points about your story, with emphasis on the key points that are most important. Once that's done, I like to go in and add any additional notes or even lines that I want to include, whatever stands out in my mind when I think of the story. Seeing this outline established on paper/in a document kind of solidifies the idea in my mind and makes it easier to work out the finer details from there.

In regards to starting the fic/starting off the first paragraph, I usually look for bold statements that might catch someone's attention:

"Mr. X was sure he'd lost his marbles"

I don't like jumping into details yet because it might be confusing, so I start with a simple line first, followed up afterwards with a little bit more elaboration on the statement:

"He had spent 20 minutes walking around his house to no avail"

And then as the paragraph progresses, that's when I start introducing more details, once again elaborating on the issue.

"He was certain that he had left his gloves on the dining table the night prior, but he was stumped when he came down the next morning to find them missing. At first, he did a quick perusal, thinking he'd dropped them on the floor instead. But a quick perusal turned into a 20 minute hunt as he went in circles."

I chose a silly example for a starting sentence, but my point is that I look for something that will catch the reader's eye and draw them in. If you're having a lot of trouble deciding on what to say, don't push it, though. Work on other parts of the fic and revisit later. As the story comes together more, more ideas will come to you naturally, too.

[writing-with-olive]

Hi I'm amateur writer anon and I'm asking this question to the entirety of writer tumblr askboxes (ones where I can ask anonymously) about one of my biggest weaknesses in writing: the first opening sentence/paragraph. Please give me some advices on how to write an intriguing first sentence/paragraph so that the readers can get more into it and i can also get right into writing it :(

Hey anon!

So this is one of the things I haven’t put a ton of thought into yet (I’m in dev edits so polishing any given line/paragraph is less of a priority), but I have found some resources that I think you may like:

HIGHLY RECCOMEND: This video that has 20+ examples that are broken down, both why they’re effective and sorted into catagories: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTh5NzLw_dw

This one is like the above, but a little less in-depth if you don’t feel like sitting down for 35 minutes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kPVzmT0jyM

An article from Writer’s Digest: https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-fiction/7-ways-to-create-a-killer-opening-line-for-your-novel

The second two focus more on just the first line, but as you seem to be getting at in your question, it’s often the first paragraphs that really sell it. As readers, most people aren’t fully hooked with just the first line. It’s how it feeds into the rest of the page that really gets things going. 

Another thing to note is that your first line/paragraph DOES NOT need to be perfect when you start your draft. You’re going to be discovering a lot more about the tone and style of the piece, even if you’ve outlined, just by writing it. Also, you’re probably going to make enough changes that your first line is unlikely to remain your first line through the entire process. While the above tips are useful to really focus in on the beginning of your story, if your main focus is to get into writing it, reader’s opinions about the way things are written are less of a concern. You may just try writing something dramatic and moving on - otherwise it may be hard to ever get past the first page. 

Hopefully these resources are helpful. Happy writing!

[cheollipop]

[reblog 1/2]

alyssa you- you- I- we-

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💖💓💗 this was so flipping cute and sweet (and hot) and just,, HUSBAND SAN?!??!?!! how am I meant to move on with my life now huh??? I reread it twice after that first time and the screenshots I took... i refuse not to post them all so buckle up, this is gonna be a long rideee! 🫡

we just started... but one paragraph in and I read "my wife" WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HUH.?!?!$?#*$ HIS WIFE DBEH

THIS SAN???? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS SAN???!?!?!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK??????? ALYSSA YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF BC YOU'RE GONNA END UP IN COURT FACING A MURDER CHARGE

you targeted me with this one. this made me so soft lyssie you don't get it-- adding in my mwah I'M NOT OKAY

FROTHING AT THE MOUTH AT THE MERE MENTION OF FACIAL HAIR-- GOOD.BYE. I'M GONE, IM YOURS, YOU'VE GOT ME HOOKED

this is so... soft.. so sweet... he's so in love, and so am I... and... he's husband san singing for reader... and I'm never moving on....

now why'd he have to go and make things dirty (pov: I'm pretending that I didn't specifically ask for this)

ILL GIEV YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE WHODWJFKWFBMWFIISBEIFJE BMGIWHF BYE

USEYOUR EYEEYHWBDKWNFK HAGDJQFJEO NOOOOU ANTKEO ????????? AND HE'S DROOLING????????????? NO

......he's rubbing himself with her panties. he. he's. hm. and he's begging to eat her out. how interesting. very peculiar.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM LOSINF MY FUCKING MIND HAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GOING INSANE

TWARING UP??? HE'S TEARING UP AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY????? HE WANTEF TO BE GOOD I'M GOING CRAZY

strength kink. the repetitive thank yous. hm.

I can hear my brain breaking. I'm gonna call the asylum myself because I need to be restrained. for the sake of humanity.

DON'T FYCKIDN SPEAK TO ME- HE SPAT ON HER I'M FUKXU SHITTING MYSELF

SHE'S SQUIRTING AND HE'S FUCKING DROOLING AGAIN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME???? END MY LIFE??? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE SURE I DON'T MAKE IT TILL 20????

i can't do this anymore

biting my fist so hard rn I- choi san... alyssa... I don't even know who to direct my aggression at anymore..... I'm gonna [redacted]

IT'S SPILLING OUTHHFWHJDDHHD WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO WRITE THAT I'M- I'M NOT OKAY

[the web page let me add more pics but there's a limit here too smh]

(next)

𝐵𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐿𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇

pairing: husband! san x fem! reader

genre: smut, fluff

summary: when san is forced to work overtime on your birthday, he wants to make up for it.

w.c: 4k

warnings: switch! san, pussydrunk san, switch! reader, praise, pet names, brief spit kink, begging, teasing, oral (f receiving), squirting, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink

a/n: this is a birthday present for my lovely best friend nora @cheollipop ilysmmm <3

song recs: get you by daniel caesar, yeah i said it by rihanna, aphrodite by rini

Masterlist

➽───────────────❥

When San’s boss set a fresh stack of files on the desk inside his already cramped cubicle, San found himself opening his mouth to protest, “Sir, it’s already half past 8…Do you think I could possibly work on this tomorrow? It’s my wife’s birthday today, and I wanted to–” 

“San, San, San,” his boss interrupted with an air of arrogance, setting his hands down on the salaryman’s tense shoulders. “We all have to make sacrifices in this company, you know? You’re not the only one. I’m sure your wife will understand when she sees the extra dollar signs in your paycheck at the end of the week.”

San sat still in his swivel chair, not letting the rage seep past his eyes, envisioning all the ways he could retaliate against the older man standing above him. His hand nudged his stapler. He glanced at his favorite coffee-stained mug that you gave him; it had various adorable cats painted on the porcelain. It’d probably feel immensely satisfying to smash it into the man’s head, but he would never give it up in such a way. Violence was never the answer, of course. Though he was extremely tempted to just rip his computer away from its cords and toss it at the man, he wouldn’t. He needed this job, and he needed to get this sudden influx of work done so that he could get home to you.  

Eventually, San blinked up at the man, replying like a robot that had just been rebooted, “On it, boss.” 

“That’s lovely to hear. That’s why you’re my favorite employee, Sannie boy,” the man chimed, smacking San’s shoulder in an overly aggressive manner. 

Once San gave his boss a tight-lipped smile and a double thumbs up that turned into middle fingers as soon as the man turned his back, he pulled his phone out to dial your number. “Baby?” he mumbled out in an extremely soft voice as soon as you picked up. 

“Hey, hun,” you replied excitedly, sliding your phone into the space between your shoulder and your neck so that you could put your cake into the fridge, sticking a candle into it. “Are you on your way home? I picked up a red velvet cake for us to share. It’s got this really fancy buttercream and these little gold flakes sprinkled all over it. I asked the guy and it’s real 24k gold! Isn’t that cool?” Noticing the overwhelming silence in the receiver, you closed the fridge and pressed your back to it. “San, are you okay?”

Opening one of the files and staring down at the endless strings of text informing him of sales percentages and various investments from clientele, San sighed, “I have to work overtime, baby. That old bastard isn’t letting me leave until I get all this shit done. I’m…” Frustrated at his lack of control over the situation, he raked his fingers through his gelled-up hair, not even caring that some of the raven strands began to stick out. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m really, really sorry…” 

“San, it’s okay. It’s okay, love,” you said with a warmth that would hopefully give him some reassurance, hearing him let out a small sigh into your ear. “It’ll still be my birthday when you get back, okay? So just take a deep breath, get the work done, and come home to me.”

San opened a new document up on his computer to get started, slowly drawing air into his lungs and letting it out, smoothing his hair out a bit. He smooshed his cheek against his phone, allowing you to tell he was pouting when he answered as gently as possible, “I love you so much, baby. I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can to tell you in person.”

Feeling a smile tug at your lips, you idly rolled your wedding ring around on your finger, grateful to have such a sweet angel of a man as your life partner. “I love you too, darling. I’ll see you soon.” Pushing your lips together, you lowered your phone to your mouth to add, “Mwah.”

“Mwah,” San returned instantaneously, a similar smile forming on his face, much more relaxed than he was a few minutes ago. Once you exchanged goodbyes, he gave his knuckles a good crack and admired his silver wedding band for a few seconds before getting to work.

-

It was a little past 11 when San finally pushed past the front door and slid out of his work shoes, meeting your gaze from across your shared apartment, seeing you sitting at the kitchen table by yourself with the cake positioned in front of you and a small lighter laying on the table. “Baby,” he let out in a sigh of relief, dropping his suitcase onto the floor and walking in your direction to pull you up from the seat into one of his famous tight bearhugs, enveloping you in his warm, inviting scent. “Happy birthday. I love you.” 

“Mm, thank you, love. I love you too.” Just as you were about to ask him about work, he clutched the back of your head and pressed his lips against yours to give you a kiss, one that was gentle at first, but grew more firm in the next passing seconds. Despite missing the taste of his lips when he pulled away, you caressed his cheeks, rubbing your thumbs over his sharp jaw, feeling the scruffiness of the facial hair that was growing in. “How was work? Shitty?”

“Shitty,” he echoed, just as he pressed his mouth to your own jaw, leaving kisses along it, as well as your cheeks, your nose, your neck, and basically anywhere he could feel your warm skin against him. “But I’m home now, so I couldn’t be happier.” San brought his mouth to your forehead to give it a long kiss, running his fingers through your hair. “Do you want to light the candle or should I, baby?” 

“You do it for me,” you said, squeezing his shoulders a bit, before sitting back down in the chair, watching as San sat in the one adjacent to you. 

When you handed him the lighter, San brought it to the candle sitting inside the personal sized cake and lit the wick, admiring the way the flame illuminated your pretty face. “You’re so beautiful…” he sighed out, leaning his head against the palm of his hand, continuing to admire you, feeling as though he might begin to melt like the candle below. “My beautiful baby.” 

“Stoppp,” you whined softly, heat rising to your cheeks, still barely able to handle the way San looked at you after all these years — with such intensity visible inside his brown eyes that you wholeheartedly believed him when he said that he wanted to give you the entire world. You were his muse, after all. His angel from above. His everything.

“Never.” San gave you a gentle smile as he took your hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss the top of your hand, singing a soft rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ in his silky smooth voice, bringing a shy smile to your own face. Once he was done, he pressed more kisses into your skin, running his thumb over your knuckles as you gazed back at him. “Make a wish, love.”

“Why make a wish when I have everything I want now?” you asked, watching as he played with the wedding ring on your finger, the candle below beginning to melt into the frosting. 

San let out a sigh, pressing his warm cheek to your open palm, looking at you like he did years ago when you had first met, unbearably love-struck, lips parted and twinkling eyes full of devotion for his beloved. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he purred, guiding your hand downwards to press a kiss onto the pad of your thumb and following your intense gaze to his mouth. “But, right now, in this moment, isn’t there something you desire?” 

A familiar feeling of warmth flooded your core, thoughts of San taking care of you in ways only he was capable of suddenly urged you to blow the candle out. You knew what you needed. Of course, San was a dutiful and devoted husband in every sense of the word, but in the bedroom, he brought that to a staggering degree, always willing to please you in every way he could, loving when you used him for your own pleasure, just as much as he loved giving it to you without any restraints. 

“What did you wish for, love?” San inquired, sticking one finger into the cake to scoop up some frosting and holding it up to your mouth, a playful smile tugging at his lips. 

You accepted his finger inside and sucked the sweet cream off of it, emitting a small ‘mmm.’ “I want you on your knees, Sannie. I want you to please me.” 

“Anything for you, my love.” San lowered himself onto the ground before you and began to loosen his tie until he could take it off, feeling a pleasurable heaviness envelop his body now that he was on his knees for his one and only. There was no place he’d rather be. After taking in a deep breath to steady his heartbeat, San began to slide his hands up one of your legs, lifting it up to leave a trail of kisses up to your thigh, stopping everywhere now and then to admire your soft skin and the intense gaze you were giving him. “I promise I’ll make you feel so good, my love. I’ll give you everything I have…” he murmured in between kisses, slowly reaching up underneath your dress to hook his fingers into your panties. 

“You promise?” you teased in a soft voice, lowering your other foot down to press into his crotch, the pad of it rubbing along his work pants, feeling the solid outline of his cock pressing against it. 

“I promise, baby,” he replied, his lips forming his signature pout, unconsciously spreading his knees apart, about to pull your panties from your hips when you pushed your foot down a bit harder, earning a small gasp from him, his fingers resting against your waist instead of continuing his quest to strip you. 

Biting into your lower lip, you relieved the pressure you had on him, slowly standing up out of the chair and just barely lifting up the front of your dress to give him an upskirt view. “Use your teeth.” 

“Yes, angel. Whatever you want, I can do…” San swallowed down some of the saliva that persistently tried to overflow and drip down his chin, gingerly kneading his hands into your soft thighs, pressing his cheek to it, looking up at your clothed pussy, his cock already throbbing away inside his pants. He moved his head up underneath your dress and got the lip of your panties in between his teeth and slowly pulled it downwards, audibly groaning as he witnessed a string of arousal drip from your heat and down your inner thigh.

Watching him with bated breath, you resisted the urge to grab the back of his head and fuck his face, desperately wanting to hear him whine and beg for you to come inside his mouth. “You can lick it up, Sannie. Go ahead…”

Your husband’s eyes practically twinkled with gratitude, choosing to pull your panties down the rest of the way and off of you, releasing them from his teeth and holding them against his crotch, rubbing them against his cock as he dragged his tongue up your inner thigh, catching your arousal on his tongue. “Fuck, baby, you taste so good. Let me eat your pretty little pussy, angel. Please, I need it.” 

“I think you can handle waiting a little longer, don’t you think, Sannie?” you mused teasingly, reaching down to press your pointer finger up into his chin, chuckling at the soft gasp that escaped his glistening lips. He was always like putty in your hands. Always ready to worship at your feet if you simply said the words. While that left you breathless, what you really relished was when you pushed him so far that he simply couldn’t hold himself back anymore and gave you his all, even if that meant passing out from pure exhaustion afterwards. 

“Yes, my love, I can wait. I can wait for you.” Your husband rested his hands down on his upper thighs, his teeth instantly digging into his lip as you took a step closer, your dripping pussy directly in front of his face. 

Holding your dress up with one hand, you used the other to spread your pussy apart, your slick dripping down your inner thighs, making sure to push your fingers together and rub them in an up and down motion, making small wet sounds with your movements. “You want your wife’s pretty pussy in your mouth, don’t you, Sannie? You want to taste me on your tongue? Lap my cum up until you’re drowning in it? Is that what you want?”

San felt like he was going to lose his mind, gripping his work pants so tightly, he feared he might tear into them, unless his cock burst out of them first from how painfully hard he was. “Please, baby. I need you so fucking bad,” he choked out, tears stinging the corners of his coffee-colored eyes, resisting the urge to smash his face in between your legs when you grabbed him by the hair and angled his head back, whimpering softly at the grip you had on him. He wanted to be good for you. He had to be good, but he needed you on his tongue like he needed oxygen. 

Once San uttered one last desperate ‘please’ in such a soft, tiny voice, you finally gave in, holding your dress up slightly with both hands and spreading your legs a bit more for him, feeling your core tighten and pulse at the sight of your husband’s teary eyes. If you were an angel, then he was heaven itself, and he probably saw you the exact same way. “You’ve been a good boy, Sannie, so come and get it.” 

Like a puppy hearing the dinner bell, San was on you, pushing his head up underneath your dress, his mouth connected to your cunt, tongue lapping at your wet folds like it was his one and only mission, hands kneading into your thighs out of habit. “Thank you, my angel. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he moaned against your heat, slurping your arousal into his mouth and swallowing it down like you were an oasis and he was a weary traveler in search of a drink. He licked, and licked, and licked, not even thinking, before he reached behind you with his outstretched arms to pull the chair closer, guiding your hips downwards forcefully enough so that you had to sit down on the cushion below. 

“S-Sannie,” you gasped, surprised by his sudden display of strength, your brain going a bit fuzzy as he shoved your thighs apart, then holding them up and out of his way so that he could bury his face deeper in between them. “You want it bad, don’t you?” 

San took a second to give you a dimpled smile, nuzzling your slippery inner thigh with his cheek, pressing a small, lingering kiss to your warm skin. “So bad, baby. You drive me fucking crazy.” His tongue was hot and wet against your cunt, practically melting against your folds, taking long, deliberate swipes up to your clit, before zoning in on it and sucking on it with a fervor that sent waves of pleasure through your lower half.

Unable to hold your voice back, you began emitting breathy, stunted moans, involuntarily bucking up into his mouth the more he licked and sucked at your clit, feeling your cheeks burn more and more the longer he gazed into your eyes. Though you swore you were used to the intense eye contact that San preferred to have with you, he still always managed to make you feel shy. 

San took another quick breather to comment breathlessly, “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. So sweet for me. So perfect.” Taking in your pretty flushed face and glazed-over eyes, he squeezed your thighs in between his thick fingers. “Come here, baby.” He pushed your thighs farther apart and leaned upwards, taking your chin in his grasp and pulling you into a much-needed kiss. Once you let him into your mouth to explore it with his arousal-coated tongue, San lowered his hand from your chin the eagerly rub your pulsing clit around in quick, deliberate circles with his thumb, automatically bringing two digits from his other hand to your cunt, your greedy hole sucking them up to his knuckles, not hesitating to piston them in and out of you. Your muffled moans and whines were like an angelic hymn that made him want to build you a shrine and worship you day and night on his aching knees like he was doing now. Once your legs hooked around his small waist, he quickened the pace of his digits, your wetness now so palpable it was beginning to spill out of you and down his veiny forearm, emitting a knowing ‘mm-hmm’, breaking the kiss as soon as you began to tighten up around him. “Angel’s gonna come for Sannie, huh?”

“Uh-huh, gonna come, Sannie,” you breathed out, licking at your lips and tasting the remnants of yourself on your tongue, swearing you were about to come instantly at the visual of your husband quickly lowering himself back down to your cunt to slurp at it, licking near the outline of his thrusting fingers and back up to your puffy clit, eyeing it longingly, before pursing his lips and spitting your arousal back onto it, only to attach back on it like a magnet. 

As soon as he curled his fingers up and rubbed at your g-spot, hitting it in a way that had you fighting the urge to let your eyes roll all the way back into your skull, San spoke up, “That’s it right there, huh, baby? Right there?” As soon as you cried out for him, your throat hurting from how dry it was, San finger-fucked you into a state of pure ecstasy, not stopping until your arousal began to spray out of you and into his open mouth, coating his tongue. “Oh my god, look at you, baby. You’re squirting for me. You’re such a good girl.” He lowered his mouth onto your twitching cunt, not able to prevent a bit of drool from dripping past his swollen lips, lapping up the rest of your squirt with a few slow, lingering licks.

Once you had enough time to gather your bearings and catch your breath, San sat up and leaned in close to you, asking huskily, “Is there anything else my princess desires?”

“Your cock, Sannie. Give me your cock,” you answered instantly, not even caring about how desperate you sounded. You were desperate, and you knew San was too, given that he hadn’t touched himself a single time. 

Just as quickly as you had answered him, San was already lifting you up into his arms and laying you down onto the kitchen table, spreading your legs apart and fumbling with his leather belt to take it off. Once it hit the floor with a thud, San pulled his aching cock out and slapped it down onto your pussy, watching some slick leak out. "Are you ready? Is my princess going to take all of my cock in this pretty little pussy?"

You nodded as quickly as you could, ready to drool over the thought of finally being filled by him, knowing you’d probably come as soon as he did. 

San slowly moved his hips forward and back, sliding his thick length across your needy cunt, the slick sounds of your arousal making him groan. "Let me hear you say it, pretty girl. Tell Sannie how bad you want it." 

"I need it so bad, so, so bad.” Just as San’s cockhead began to stretch out your hole, your plush walls clenching around him, he pulled out, leaving you empty and ready to beg on your knees just like he had done earlier. “I need your cock, Sannie, please. I want to be full just for you. Please, please, let me have it. I’ll be such a good girl for you, I promise!”

"God, you’re so cute when you’re begging for me, princess," San sighed longingly, caressing and rubbing your thighs with his thumbs, burning the image of your teary-eyed gaze into his memory. “But, don’t worry, I’m here. I’m going to fill you up, okay?” Smiling at the sight of your furious nods, he pushed back inside of you, inch by inch, making you let out a long, almost relieved moan, not stopping until your lower halves were pressed together. 

Now that he was being squeezed by your tightness, San felt something switch on inside his brain, no longer concerned with teasing you, but instead overwhelmed by the desperate need to fuck you until you were a crying, cum-filled mess for him, and him alone. 

Loud, wet slapping sounds began to echo throughout the kitchen, along with the thud, thud, thud of the kitchen table being rocked back and forth into the tile flooring below. “You’re so good for me, baby, so good,” San praised into your ear, his warm body flush against yours, slamming his hips into yours, appreciating the way you had your legs hooked around his small waist, locking him in place. 

“Sannie,” you cried out, unable to stop pulsing around your husband’s thick length, feeling like you would go crazy from the way it was pounding into you. You reached your hands out, smiling when he immediately laced his fingers with yours, holding your hands down against the cool surface of the table. “I’m gonna come. It’s spilling out.” 

“I’m going to come too, my love. Let’s come together,” he encouraged, squeezing your fingers against his own, slowing his pace down and fucking you in a more deliberate way, his thrusts slow and deep, hitting your sweet spot every time. Just as you began to mewl and babble from the overwhelming pleasure, San pressed his lips onto yours, swallowing your moans just as you swallowed his choked ones. It felt so good, he didn’t even realize when he started to cry, his hot tears dripping down his cheeks and landing onto your heated face. “I’m going to fill you up and make you a mommy, sweetheart. Make you so full of my love. So, so full for me.” 

“Yes, please, Sannie, fill me up.” Just as your body shook and trembled, your cum pouring out of you and coating your joined flesh, San’s hot load came pouring into you, filling you up to the brim like always. 

“Here it comes, angel. Just for you. I love you so much,” he choked out, his voice raw and throaty from how hard he was cumming, blinking a few more tears away to focus on your pretty face, slowly going soft, but staying inside you, keeping you full of his warmth and love. 

“I love you too, Sannie. So much,” you replied wholeheartedly, wiping one of his tears away as you brought him into another kiss, this one as gentle and sweet as the love he always gave you. 

Slowly breaking the kiss, he pressed one onto your forehead, bringing you into a long hug, not planning on letting you go. “Happy Birthday, baby.”

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