#2.its kinda illegal
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"You aren't even that good of a duo..."
Me and Bro's honest reaction ^
Fuck it, headcannon posting. BLU Scout and RED Sniper fuck with eachother so hard (they met at the payphone while trying to call their moms). Name a better pair of dudes who can and will kill someone before calling home to check on their family ♡
#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital artist#digital drawing#digital illustration#digital sketch#team fortress 2#team fortress two#tf2#team fortress fanart#tf2 sniper#sniper tf2#tf2 scout#scout tf2#mick mundy#red sniper#blu scout#crossteam friendship#whoops#slightly illegal but its fine#probably#BLU scouts name is jason btw#hiding lore in the tags ig#they love their moms sm#scouts ma#mentioned#snipers mom#also mentioned#kinda if you squint
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i think i'm starting to really like writing again :D this will have consequences
#just me hi#oho so my beloved is back from the war huh [<- had locked the doors and windows to keep its 'beloved' out and forgot about it]#that old itch to just start slapping sounds i know on a doc and hoping in 3 days it still makes sense is back lol :3#/can't read the last thing i wrote yet cuz it hasn't been three days </3#rule is i have to spend the same amount of time away from it as i spent working on it. including editing. sad!#it Does help my brain reset though. and forget about literally everything bfhvsjgh#and i know it's possible for me to finish this kinda stuff now so like. Woho !!#the power. the Powerrrr#/also tryna get more comfortable with sharing my writing so i'm starting by sending small finished stuff to like 2 people i trust kfvshg#i can handle unwarranted critiques of my art but i am not at a stage for my writing where it won't cause like international#devastation and that's goofy so Pfvhsh 👍#we're working on it :)#and i think people's reactions are amusing so ehehehghehghgehg :3 a bonus :33#//yea though i'm gonna go put some more obleas in the freezer#obleeeeeeeeaaaa can't wait to seeeee yaaaaaa. on. my. Plaaaaate#btw shoutout to eating a spoonful of cajeta at like 1 in the morning thinking everyone's asleep and then you look up and younger#sibling no. 4 is there staring dead into your eyeballs like. is there anymore#and you go uhhh yea. and then as he's walking around to get some younger sibling no. 3 rises up from seemingly nowhere like I Want Some Too#lmfshvhf#and then you're all just sitting up for about 2 more hours just talking about very dumb things and having cajeta. illegally but still hfbvh#//anyway i'm gonna depart now :) ciao toodles lol :3
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I don't really understand it when reactors or just people in general get annoyed at how long it takes for the kids to get Max in-the-loop in s2.
I know that Mike's attitude towards her plays a part in it, bc he's also the one that always responds to them almost letting her in like the times they're talking about Will's "True Sight", but I wish people would remember the fact that no one involved in s1 is supposed to tell anyone about anything they went through. Steve literally explains it in the first episode, I think.
Like, I understand my view is biased as a Mike stan, and I'm not saying Mike wasn't a jerk to Max, but he was literally keeping both them, and her (maybe less intentionally, but still) safe by not allowing Max to know about the Upside Down. Even the first time I watched, I remember thinking it was odd that Mike seemed to be the only one of the boys who actively tried to not tell Max anything when it was literally illegal and unsafe for them to do so.
I think this is backed up by the fact that even if he didn't really like her presence, he didn't actively kick her out until things started to connect to the UD being involved. He was perfectly fine with her meeting and knowing about Dart until Will told him about Dart's connection to the UD.
(Also, maybe less related but something I noticed on this rewatch. Mike clearly doesn't like the idea of Max getting hurt no matter how mean he was being to her. He is so worried when El makes her fall. I am at least a slight believer in Mike not wanting to involve Max, or anyone else really, because bc of the risks they might get hurt btw so disregard this if you want.)
Again, maybe this is just my Mike-bias talking, but it's just something I wish more reactors/people would keep in mind.
#if you can't tell i'm kinda afraid of ppl maybe saying i just think this way cuz i love mike 😅#idk i just think its valid that he doesnt want her involved in something thats literally illegal for them to talk about#(didn't they say they had to sign documents? maybe not technically illegal but practically 😂)#(mike is my sweet little child & no one will ever convince me he is not a sweetheart under all the hard walls he's put up over the seasons)#stranger things#stranger things 2#mike wheeler#mike wheeler defense squad#mike wheeler defender#mike wheeler appreciation#jay's saying stuff :)#jay's talking ST <3
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*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*
me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration
guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??
me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)
#a biscuit's rambles#hes not yet desentisised to me saying random weird ass shit ranging from mildly concerning to 'what kind of illegal sites are you on'#and its soooooo funny#i randomly offered them sugar and he looked So wonderfully confused (i am known for randomly handing out sugar packets among my friends)#thus started a contest (well its been 2 days so far) of carries the most random shit in their pockets#so far im winning with my embroidery thread and tealight (which i did not pocket specifically to have something weird in my pocket)#its very funny. its absolutely hilarious. he has no idea what im like and is so utterly unprepared#maybe i do like him (was unsure up until uhhh yesterday when we first properly talked)#(idk he has a sense of humour i kinda. Do Not Like and ive no idea where he came from so i was like. i dont personally need to get to know#him. like good for my friends buuuut. also hes like 2m tall that is freaky as fuck. BUt he seems a chill dude so maybeeeee)#(first impressions and all of that jazz. u dont gotta like everyone. but u might. lmao)#no but for real if im standing anywhere close to him i literally have to tilt my head back as far as can go to look at his face. its weird#no hate to him or tall people i just come from a long line of small people and moderately sized friends this seems Wrong lmao
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Were the men having like an episode while making and passing this law, they forgot to add the section that criminalises rape towards them...
#Having a 2 month delayed commentary sorry terrible lawyer a disaster#I guess this sounds kinda victim blamey but like what are they doing#2 months its not illegal to rape men and animals
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#good riddance#leave Palestine to the Palestinians#genocide being committed over a land that you dont even want#actual natives to an area would not destroy its land and burn ancient olive groves#kinda like the King Solomon tale about 2 women fighting over a baby#He ruled to cut the baby in half to satisfy them both & the real mother#Haaretz is an Israeli newspaper btw#apartheid#save palestine#israel is an apartheid state#ethnic cleansing#free palestine 🇵🇸#genocide#illegal settlers#israel is an illegal occupier#illegal settlements#make Israel go bankrupt#theyre already morally bankrupt so why not financially too?#the experiment that is Israel has failed#israel must fall#war crimes#iof terrorism#bds#boycott divest sanction#KLP#samsung#israeli economic collapse#karma is a bitch#israel is committing genocide#israel is a war criminal
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wow ok i rlly don’t like elden beast lol. that boss kinda sucks
#too big. huge arena. cant see what he’s doing half the time#and the other half of the time he’s running across to the other side of the room#its um. it’s not very fun i won’t lie#n it’s kind of bothering me at this point#radagon is kind of easy but i think we all know that#and elden beast isn’t necessarily the hardest boss out there#but he seems to hav quite an padded out hp bar which im not sure it needs#and then some moves that i swear im dodging but still hit me every time#for a final boss it’s jst kinda .. eh#like u cant put malenia in here and then giv me a final boss like this#u can’t. it should be ILLEGAL i say#like malenia took me a lot of tries bc she was hard. she was difficult and she let u know it#but compared to that a lot of elden beast’s ’difficulty’ feels artificial#like im not dying to elden beast bc it’s a hard boss. im dying bc i cant see what’s going on and other times-#-bc i cant meaningfully dodge certain attacks. like i can dodge most of it but i’ll still get hit by some part of it consistently#and i jst. i hav a real annoyance abt two seperate bosses who u are forced to face together#and by together i mean one after the other#like y do i need to fight radagon again everytime. it’s not like elden beast is his phase 2 or something#it makes it tedious tbh and it’s something i kinda wish they’d ease up on tbh#i don’t think i should hav to face radagon again. he’s dead. he’s gone. take me straight to big daddy EB#cause the radagon fight is pissing me off at this point. it’s easy and i know i can consistently get past him with ease#so why the FUCK do i hav to keep doing it !!!!!!#just let me poke the eldritch Thing with my sword until it dies#plum plays elden ring
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the cat sitter (part 15) ✧ max verstappen
max verstappen x fem! reader
previous part | masterlist
loosely inspired by the story on how max lost his cat
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maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 🐈
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landonorris Never beating the crazy cat lady allegations
danielricciardo 😍
yourusername i miss you ed, edd, and eddy. gone... but never forgotten 😿
↳ maxverstappen1 you named them?
↳ yourusername yes? 🤷♀️
username i dont care guys this is enough sign for me, it’s canon
username please tell me that she at least kept one of those cats
↳ yourusername maximus won’t let me keep them 💔
↳ maxverstappen1 Pretty sure that’s illegal 🤗
bffusername so is this the reason why you always take so long on your dates? because y/n can’t resist touching every single cat on the streets? [deleted]
bffusername cool pics! 😁👍
↳ yourusername ouH GIRL WHEN I CATCH YOU
↳ username PLEASE TELL ME THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE DELETED COMMENT 😭
username don’t know about you guys but the hand on her head awakened something feral in me
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yourusername
liked maxverstappen1 and 231 others
yourusername these are a few of my favorite things 🫧 🤍 🎶
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landonorris He got game after all
↳ yourusername unlike you
↳ landonorris OUCH??
↳ maxverstappen1 😂
maxverstappen1 Lovely 🤍
bffusername this cake looks way better than maximus' birthday cake, progress!! 💪🏼
↳ yourusername 😎
bffusername now i'm curious, what did you say during mario kart? 🤔
↳ maxverstappen1 A lot of curse words
victoriaverstappen Enjoy your holiday guys, see you soon! 🧡
↳ yourusername MAX AND I WANT TO BABYSIT LUKA AND LIO AGAIN!!
↳ maxverstappen1 Y/N......
maxverstappen1
liked by yourusername and 2.103.273 others
maxverstappen1 More passion, more energy ❄️
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yourusername i kinda hate you right now ngl
↳ maxverstappen1 She's so brave, she's well behaved, she's not afraid 💪🏼
↳ yourusername HUSH
yourusername delete??? or i'll post a video of you dancing to 'paint the town red'??
↳ maxverstappen1 YOU WOULDN'T DARE
↳ yourusername I SAID WHAT I SAID 👹
↳ username y/n i would give you my cat if i could see a video of max doing a tiktok trend 🧎♀️
↳ yourusername check your dm please xoxoxoxo
yourusername MORE FOOTWORK MORE FOOTWORK 🕺🏽
charles_leclerc 😂
alex_albon Fucking finally 😮💨
landonorris I called dibs on being captain of the ship
↳ bffusername hi there, sorry to bother you. y/n's bff here. that position is already taken 🙏
↳ username speak uP? danielricciardo
↳ danielricciardo I don't engage in useless banter, I already have the position of being the godfather of their future child 😁
↳ landonorris exPLAIN??? maxverstappen1 yourusername
username the fact that this post has better engagement than max's wdc post i-
username now we know how max knew all of the viral tiktok sounds 😭
↳ yourusername we're planning to make a tiktok couple account
↳ username ?!??!?!??!?!??! ARE YOU FOR REAL
↳ yourusername please don't take it seriously, I WAS JOKING 😁🙏
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author's notes: eden the scammer is back after 2 months guys, so sorry for making you guys wait too long (and giving you guys false hope) 👹 really hope you guys liked this one hehe, i also take additional request for tcs!! (but as you probably know, it's gonna take me 8273 years to finally post it). there are some references from my lando series in this part, so if you're interested you can also check it out 😙 LOVE YOUUUWWW, now i will hibernate for another 5 months 🤸♀️
taglist: @flwr-stella @reidsworld @myloverjk-blog @debss-319 @hiraethrhapsody @electrobutterfly @love4lando @lunnnix @allenajade-ite @jjsprobablywrong @whoreks @soleilgrec @oscarwildingsworld @christianpulisic10 @thievin-stealing @glitterf1 @elliegrey2803 @trouble-sistar @escapism-writer @cornerofacry @hollie911 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @ad-astra-again @canyon-lwt @thecubanator2 @lifesuckslife @leclercloml @sunny44 @nmw-am @sachaa-ff @multilovebot @glow-ish @moneygramhaas @whitefireproofs @icarus-nex @iloveyou3000morgan @ccallistata @copper-boom @fictionalcharacterslut @celesteblack08 @maxiel-jpg @slytherheign @lunyyx @series-books-food @coffeehurricanes @shrimpyshrimp @somanyfandomsbruh @justcallmeelli @laneyspaulding19 @ironmaiden1313
pictures (c) to pinterest
#max verstappen#formula 1#f1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#archiverstappen
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Oikawa Tooru x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)
Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist
Aoba Johsai Fic Rec Masterlist
pinch ✨✨by krystallisert (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff, humor) The ringing stops, and you're vaguely aware that you've been hit in the face by a volleyball. In another gym, at another school, a boy winces in sudden, unprovoked pain. "Oi, Oikawa! You're bleeding!"[COMPLETED]
A married life by @creepychan (oneshot, pregnant reader, angst) <I don't wanna spoil this series but its worth it😜😜>
Your Smart Ideas ✨ by @mimi-cee-hq (oneshot, fluff) Oikawa didn’t want you to call his sister Nee-san. So you had a solution.[COMPLETED]
pov:he's a racer and you are his finish line ✨✨💖by @saintobio (angst, fluff, street racer au, <reader had an abusive relationship with atsumu>)driven by the thrill of illegal street racing, an esteemed racer from Miyagi shows up and makes a tough bet against your toxic boyfriend in exchange for you. [COMPLETED] <this suna fic is connected to this fic as a spin off/ pt.2 kinda thing>
Do You Feel What I Do✨✨ by @seokiloquy (oneshot, soulmate au , fluff)where you feel bursts of pain/emotion from your soulmate. When they both realize they are soulmates (they don’t have to physically be together, it’s when both just know they are), each other’s name gets written on their wrist and the pain/emotion bursts lessen[COMPLETED]
How Do You Say…? by @seokiloquy (oneshot, childhood freinds to lovers, fluff)[COMPLETED]
Breathe by @t0wnspersonb (oneshot, fluff) As the manager of Aoba Johsai, you take it upon yourself to make sure everyone is taken care of. Which is why you find yourself making sure that a certain captain isn’t pushing himself, especially after a knee injury. It’s not until an incident in the locker room that you begin to realize just how much Oikawa means to you.[COMPLETED]
The Miracle of Childbirth ✨by @oreosmama Yours (oneshot, humor) and Oikawa’s children were the most amazing creatures on Earth… except when they acted like munchkin-sized pain in the asses.[COMPLETED]
On a Cold Winter’s Night ✨ by @oreosmama (oneshot, slight smut, fluff)Trapped in the university library due to a raging blizzard outside, you are forced to endure the cold night with the man you hate the most: the player who lives in the dorm across from you, Tooru Oikawa. But with tensions and anxieties at an all-time high, you begin to realize your feelings for Oikawa aren’t quite what you thought they were, especially when all he wants to do is keep you warm.[COMPLETED]
Talking to the Moon ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending)After breaking up to go their separate ways after high school, YN and Oikawa struggle to accept the fact that neither is willing to give up their career paths for the other. Instead, they both confide in the moon, wishing that it was their other half. (Based on “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars.)[COMPLETED]
You’re jealous but you can’t do anything because you’re not dating him by @screamin-abt-haikyuu (oneshot, angst to fluff)[COMPLETED]
Across the Hall by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending, slight smut) Across the hall lived Oikawa, a smug womanizer who never knew how to confront his one-night stands after their five minutes of fame. To avoid confrontation, he repeatedly seeks refuge in your apartment, or in his case, in your bed. But what happens when you start to grow feelings for this amorous neighbor of yours?[COMPLETED]
Fake Marks, True Love ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending, slight smut) The hickey was fake, but the pain Oikawa felt when he saw it? It was real, and it hurt like a bitch. “Who touched you?”[COMPLETED]
I Wanna Build a Snowman ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, fluff) Oikawa just wants to build a snowman on one of the coldest days of the year with his beloved girlfriend. What could go wrong?[COMPLETED]
Warm Embrace by @oreosmama (oneshot, fluff)Naked cuddles with Oikawa need no purpose.[COMPLETED]
Pain Split ✨by kaientai(oneshot, soulmate au)At the same time when Oikawa Tooru presumably fucked up his knee, you, an unsuspecting soccer player, received the injury of a lifetime.[COMPLETED]
Court of Kings by @venusdeus (arranged marriage, royalty au, enemies to lovers) Sent to a neighbouring kingdom to secure an alliance, forced to give up your dreams and ambitions, disregarded as a means to an end. You however have no desire to fulfil their wishes. And neither does Oikawa. [ONGOING] <guys...this fic hasn't been uploaded in a long time but I seriously love it so I am gonna be putting it here>
a love like winter ✓ | friends to lovers, angst by @tooruluv| teaser | pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt 10 | pt 11 | pt 12 (final) |[COMPLETED]
peppermint ⌲ | roommate au, enemies to lovers, angst, smut edited and rewritten | updates every weekend by @tooruluv |teaser | pt 1 | pt 2 |[COMPLETED]
love, always by @saintobio (heavy angst, past lovers, amnesia) 3 years since the accident and you’ve regained most of your memories back, but there’s still one missing puzzle piece that only your boyfriend’s best friend can complete. the question is, will you let him? [COMPLETED]
da capo✨✨ by krystallisert(soulmate au, unrequited love, pinning)Nothing could've stopped you from falling in love with Oikawa Tooru. Not the neatly drawn mark ever present on his wrist, nor the looks of pity on your best friend's face whenever she catches you staring at the brunet. [COMPLETED]
Rewind (Part I), Rewind (Part II) by @mitsuki-murakami (twoshot, soulmate au, fluff, angst) A Soulmate AU where you will keep looping your life until you meet your soulmate.[COMPLETED]
think of me by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, heavy angst)How could you think that this wouldn't hurt me?[COMPLETED]
The Gift of a Greek God by Orphan_account Oikawa Tooru is Eros in all of his glory. Beauty, love, and desire overwhelmingly packed into one being.And you? The human (un)fortunate enough to be raked into one of his deals. [COMPLETED]
but my lungs fell so small by krystallisert (medieval au, enemies to friends to lovers, princess! reader, knight! oikawa)The intricacies of war is something you do not know much of. But still, you’d heard about the unrest to the south, the rumors of dissent and the anti-capitol posters. If you could trace back to the first protest, the first whisper of treason, would you be able to pinpoint the exact moment a war became an inevitability ?The capitol gates come crashing down with an explosion of gunpowder and debris. [ONGOING]
The Underground ✨✨by butterflytint (enemies to friends to lovers) you've always been meticulous, turning to hacking as a simple hobby. Following the death of your brother, you went off the rails in efforts of finding his killers. You're backed into a corner when you're caught hacking the police and government organizations by a charming secret agent/criminal, Tooru Oikawa. You find out it has something to do with your brother and you didn't know him as well as you thought you did. [COMPLETED]
Two Stories💖✨ by deltachye(college au, fluff, angst)your face is in my dreams; but in reality, so far.[COMPLETED]
Splash of Color by RizRice(friends to lovers, starngers to lovers, fluff, slice of life)Routines can get a little boring. As structured as they may be, the world can begin to look black and white. But once a splash of color hits your nose, the routine you once held dear changes.[COMPLETED]
The Popular Guy by crescentsteel (smut, fluff, angst, humor)You only saw him from afar – Oikawa Tooru. He’s just perfect. He’s so kind to his fans, so hardworking, so ambitious. So unreachable. You’re fine with that though. Seeing him around was enough for you. You count yourself lucky that you were able to talk to him one time before graduation. But when university started, he was there waiting for you, and in his hand was the letter you never intended to send.[COMPLETED]
BULLY by neptunecookie (enemies to lovers, angst, smut) when y/n signed up for summer camp, she didn’t expect to be stuck with her high school bully for a month.[COMPLETED]
First Love, Late Spring by miyachondria(oneshot, exes to lovers, post timeskip)Oikawa Tooru’s eyes are still the same shade of honey brown, and you still fall in love the way you used to: hard, plummeting, like a burning comet making its way across the night sky.[COMPLETED]
Perfect (Oikawa x Plain! Reader)✨ by MrsTanaka(oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)Soulmate AU in which you share a talent or talents with your partner.[COMPLETED]
Enough By StilemaWillow (oneshot, soulmate au) You can feel eachother's emotions.[COMPLETED]
I don't like your Shampoo ✨by @hinac0lada (oneshot, soulmate au, humor)[COMPLETED]
good enough ✨by @teamatsumu (oneshot, soulmate au, insecure! reader)[COMPLETED]
Till it Breaks by deltachye (angst, romance)In sickness and in health; ‘till death do us part… Or ‘till his mind broke, leaving you behind with nothing but a shattered heart when he asked quietly, “who are you?” [COMPLETED]
Unspoken by just_j (friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mutual pinning) Oikawa has been in love with you since you became a manager for the university’s volleyball team, but keeps it to himself in fear of what his fan club might do to you if they found out.[COMPLETED]
Breath by visi(fantasy au, enemies to lovers)You think that your escape as a secluded witch in the forest would be much more successful if there wasn't another irritable, attractive inhabitant already.[COMPLETED]
目送 ; five times oikawa didn’t look back and the one time he did by vogonpoetry (oneshot, angst with happy ending, tooth rooting)you spend a lifetime watching him go, sometimes with your stomach tied in knots, sometimes with tears in your eyes, but always with love.[COMPLETED]
Cross the Pacific✨ by @seokiloquy (oneshot, angst, fluff, slight! sugawara)[COMPLETED]
The only stranger in the room✨ by @ugh-tsumu (oneshot, soulmate au) The day you are introduced as the (Aoba Johsai’s) volleyball team’s new manager is also the day you’re supposed to meet your soulmate. Coincidentally, this is also the day Oikawa arrives late.[COMPLETED]
For You, Black Petals by @seokiloquy (oneshot, hanahaki, angst) It’s alright to love someone who does not love you back, as long as they’re worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it.[COMPLETED]
#fanfic rec#fanfic#fic recs#fics#fanfic recommendation#recommendations#fic rec#recs#fanfiction#fanfics#hq oikawa#oikawa tooru#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa x reader#oikawa fluff#haikyū!!#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#haikyu fluff#haikyu smut#tooru oikawa x reader#tooru oikawa#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa toru#hq#hq x reader#hq fluff#aoba johsai#seijoh
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The House of Vamplor. - Taylor Swift x Reader Smut [PART 1]
Vampire!Taylor x female reader smut
warnings: smut, fem!reader oral (r!receiving), vampires, biting, mild blood play, amnesia(kinda??)
summary: Vamplor takes you back to her house and her intentions are very clear.
word count: 1.5k
A/N: not me being back the vamplor pull was just too strong lmaoo. part 2 is out btw! hope you enjoy - pris
You could barely recall the recent events of this morning, a bad sleep turned into a bad morning which turned into an even worse day so when the sun set and you lazily walked your way back home, the local bar didn’t look so bad, its dim glow seeming much more enticing than the cold icy walls of your apartment, it seemed like an adequate end to the day.
However, now you were sitting in a room, two deep red glasses of wine sat at the table in front of you, the tall ceilings seemed like they could go on forever but the walls were ensconced in black as if they were trying to trap you. Memories, flashes of red lips and sultry whispers came back to you, a woman flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder laughing coyly, her face hidden from your gaze. You took a deep breath and turned towards the door. Nobody entered and you wondered if you should leave. It almost felt illegal, quietly tiptoeing towards the door and just before you turned the handle it burst open.
“Not leaving are you, Sweetness?” Her red lips pouted as she salaciously leaned on the door frame, essentially blocking you in. “No. I’m just…” The words fell short in your mouth because you didn’t actually know what you were doing here but the intrigue of the woman before you was enough to make you stay. “We were at the bar?” you questioned trying to piece together what little information you had. “Yes,” she chuckled, “We came here after the bar, the night is still young, so why waste it?” Her tall figure stepped into the room.
“Sit. We were having such a good conversation,” she gestured with a flick of her hand and you immediately felt yourself complying with her commands as if she had willed it so, “Oh… did someone make a mess?” She mocked you, shaking her head dismissively as you both looked at the wine now dripping unceremoniously on the floor, you didn’t even hear it fall, the silence in the room was deafening, only the sound of your breath and the creaking footsteps as she moved around you remained, just close enough where you could sense the air as she moved through it but not close enough to touch.
She handed you a rag and knelt to the floor with you, her blonde hair framed her face, the moonlight from the open window shone like stage lights illuminating her like a crowd pleaser. “Go on, Y/N. Clean up your mess.” her eyes darkened, the silhouette of her black lacy corset tightened against her pale skin as she leaned forward with intense eye contact. You began to soak up what liquid you could, the rag absorbing the fluid, now stained with red like an open wound. The small piece of cloth was doing very little to clean it up, sloshing the liquid back and forth making an even bigger mess, you sat up a little, almost admitting defeat when the woman piped up. “Need help?” it would have sounded sincere if not for her quirked up brow and loose smile on her lips . She cupped her hands on top of yours and you gasped. She was ice cold, shivers traveled up and down your spine and you didn’t move an inch.
She began to move her hands, moving yours with them. Left. Right. Left. Right. It was antagnosingly slow, and each time she stopped her grip on your
hands tightened ever so slightly. Her eyes studied you so intensely, you felt shy under her gaze, wholly exposed and unable to utter a word for fear she might just get up and leave. Suddenly, she stopped. “You can’t clean up your mess properly, Sweetness.” she tutted, both of your hands were stained red, the scent of mulled berries infiltrated your senses. “I’m sorry.” You looked away in shame, it seemed like the longer you spent with her the more shy you became.
“Sorry isn’t good enough, Y/N. You disrespected my company.” She stood, towering above you. “I’ll make it up to you.” Your voice was small now, looking at her through your eyelashes, she smoothed out her corset. “I guess I’ll just have to make a mess of you.” She grabbed your jaw, harshly raising your head so your eyes could meet. Her smirk was more sinister now, her blue eyes almost became black like the walls. “Stand.” she demanded.
Her cold hands clenched either side of your face and she leaned in, lips merely inches apart and where her breath should fan your face, there was none. She crashed her lips into yours, they moved around each other like an electric dance. She took your bottom lip into her mouth and sucked whilst you brought your hands to pull her closer. She stopped. “I didn’t say you could touch.” You breathed out, a little shocked. She grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you down onto the chaise lounge underneath the window. The moon casting its light onto her enshrouded face. Sweeping your hair to one side, she let the strap of your dress fall onto your shoulder. She traced lines from your upper jaw to chest with her black painted fingernails. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of your heartbeat.
She knelt between your knees, her height making her level with you and laid kisses on your jaw, intermittently enveloping your mouth in a searing kiss. She moved down to your neck and started to suckle and kiss just above your pulse point. You closed your eyes in bliss, a small moan escaping. Suddenly, you felt a sharp pinch and your eyes shot open. “Sorry, got ahead of myself.” She laughed, throwing her head back, exposing sharp fangs overtop those full red lips.
A wave of nausea crashed over you as your breathing became rapid and shallow. The fear was palpable in the air but your lust and temptation still lingered. You recalled her electric energy in the bar, hanging on to her every word, bringing yourself closer just to feel what it’s like to be in her presence, letting a potentially dangerous woman have you? Would it be worth it?
Her long fingers grasped onto your waist as she slowly pushed you flat on the lounge chair. Now fully at her mercy, she pulled down the neck of your shirt as if it was greatly inconveniencing her, exposing your breasts to the air. She took one nipple into her mouth and lightly began to suck, your head rolled to the side and a moan fluttered its way from your throat. Her suckling turned into tiny bites, the thrill of knowing her sharp teeth could break the skin at any moment made the seconds go painstakingly slow.
Her actions became rougher and sloppier as she made her way down your body, stopping incrementally to leave a kiss or run her polar fingers through your hair, staring deeply into your eyes. Her blonde hair tickled the space between your thighs and her solid stature was the only reminder that she was even there. She leaned in and you jolted out of fear. “You scared of me, Sweetness?” She pouted, genuinely waiting for an answer. “No, I don’t think so.” You answered honestly as not trusting the womanly creature with her head in between your legs right now wouldn’t be very apt. “Good, because I’m about to be,” Her tongue made contact with your pussy, “Very mean right now.” she whispered.
The noises that erupt from your mouth sound wrecked and earth shattering as she begins a languid dance upon you. Her tongue lays flat against you before her mouth is hastily sucking your clit into her mouth, the whiplash of events making your head spin. She thrusts her tongue in, holds for a second and then pulls back. There’s a sheen to her supple lips, the red lipstick is a little smeared but the glint of hazy lust so intense in her eyes is enough to fuel both of you on. She spits on your pussy, a sultry whine leaves your mouth. Then she dives right back in continuing her machinations and the white hot pleasure begins to peak as you clasp a hand to the back of her head.
She laughs, the sound vibrating against you, bringing you to the crux. A million little stars fill your vision as her tongue furiously pushes against your pussy, the breath from your lungs punches the air and sweat beads on your forehead. Then she drags her teeth across to your thigh and bites. You almost ignite as cries flurry their way to the surface with every pulse of your clit. She moans for the first time and there's something off about the nonessential breath she lets out.
She rears her head up, the small red dribble coming from her mouth alarms you. You press against the small wound, red staining your fingertips, and slowly push them into her mouth. She takes them with no questions asked, leeching every droplet she can take. She releases your fingers and kisses your cheek, her hand cupping your neck.
“I think I might have to keep you forever.” She says, tilting her head.
“And you are?” You ask.
“Taylor, Sweetness.”
[part 2]
#taylor swift#taylor swift x reader#taylor swift smut#taylor swift x fem!reader#taylor swift x fem!oc#vamplor#vamplor smut#taylor swift imagine#taylor swift exp#gaylor#gaylor swift#gaylor smut#fxf smut#fem reader smut#taylor swift lesbian#lesbian smut
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Kinda crazy how these two games, both published by Valve, only have 2 years between them yet one has been receiving patch updates pretty consistently while the other was abandoned and ignored when it and its players had to deal with malicious aimbots spamming illegal content and saying the most horrific shit on its official servers. Almost like the age of a game is absolutely no excuse to let your official public game servers be used in such a way for YEARS. Even though L4D2’s updates are small, it’s still getting upkeep better than TF2.
There is no way Valve wasn’t aware of this. There’s no way they weren’t aware of what’s probably their most well known iconic multiplayer game being in that state. Even if the bots never come back, do NOT forget how Valve facilitated that horrendous shit being done on their official servers by acting oblivious and lying to the people who genuinely love TF2 and play it. Make sure the bots stay gone. You SHOULD be mad at Valve for letting this happen and there should be hell raised if the bots return. Don’t let Valve get away with it again. Don’t let any game company get away with allowing bots to overrun their game and endanger the players. It is completely unacceptable and negligent.
(Note: no hate to L4D2, I am a fan of it. I just couldn’t help but notice this with the patch updates)
#tf2#team fortress 2#fixtf2#savetf2#left 4 dead 2#valve games#valve#boycott deadlock#gaming#video games#tf2 bots#bot crisis#ban all aimbots#ban all cheaters#l4d2#do better
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I hhave three questions, if I may!
Does DogDay in the red giant au like, attack anything that is alive/that moves, or not? Like, if someone where to give him food would he attack them or?? Sorry if this question is dumb lol
This sorta plays into the third question, but do you have any tips on how to draw the smiling critters?
Do you have any tips making a smiling critter oc? I'm really struggling with coming up for a design for my one, she always ends up lookin plain/boring :(
HELLOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG
1 sort of…..???
He would rather snatch the food from your hand and forget about you than actually try to go after you!! It’s easy food after all!
And even if he did try attacking you, he can’t really so much, he has no strength left!
2 JUST ONE BUT YES
TEAR. BODIES.
thats literally it. tear bodies. that how you can construct their bodies.. Play with that! Make different poses!
3 Of course! Here are some tips!!
NAMES-
Soo, i usually base my ocs on animal idioms, animal expressions, adjectives, etc. Here are some examples with meanings!!
Loan Shark
Moneylender who asks for a lot of money, usually illegally.
CashCow
Someone who makes a lot of money from a company
BusyBee
Someone who keeps themselves busy
KittyCorner
Diagonally opposite from someone or something
Sitting Duck(s)
Someone thats easy to manipulate, cheat or take advantage of
EagerBeaver
Someone who works very hard and enthusiastically
WholeHog
Do something to its fullest extent
GuineaPig
Person used as a subject for an experiment
Wild Goose (Chase)
Foolish chase for something unattainable
BlackSheep
Person who embarrasses a group for being different
One-Trick-Pony
Person with one great talent but doesn’t have much more to offer
Road Hog
Dangerous driver, someone who drives recklessly
TopDog
The most important person in a group
You can also take normal expressions that have certain words that sound like animal species! Take my oc as an example (Sir Bat-An-Eye.)
COLORS-
IF you are basing your little critter on a real animal, you could think, “Man, how do i make this little guy look more Smiling Critter-ish?”
COLORS!!
Take Bubba for example,
He is an elephant! Elephants aren’t a bright blinding blue! Yet in a lot of cartoons they are represented this way because it is way more colorful! Sure to attract kids.
If it is an actual animal, search for some cartoon references of them! Maybe that can help!
Saturate the colors A LOT. Do you think kiddies would like an old, rusty, sad-beige-mom animal in their show??!?! Well- maybe…..🤔
But thats not the point! Make them bright! Make them pop!
Also, don’t always base them off of the animals ACTUAL colors! Give them different colors! If you want to make your alligator oc red because he lives in the depths of an erupting volcano then go ahead! If you want your parrot oc to be THE COLOR OF THE FUCKING RAINBOW then go ahead!! Who says they have to be the normal colors? Not me!
PERSONALITY AND ANIMAL CHOOSING-
Sooo… if you wanna be very picky like me.. then choose animals by how they would act in a society!
A hyena wouldn’t be nice! They would make fun of people, they would be rude!
A gazelle would be shy! They wouldn’t get their kicks from fighting!
That kinda what i mean🤔
If you want an elegant Critter, look for animals that often represent elegance, like peacocks!!
WHAT THEY DO.
What would they do if they were caretakers in PlayCare? A therapist? A janitor? What do they teach? Think about that and maybe that will help you with their necklaces!!
If you need more help, ask away :p!!
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime 3#art#oc#this is pretty much me yapping up and down#sorry#hope it helps#!!!!
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THANK YOU for pointing out that killer probably wouldn't be diagnosed with DID bc he was an adult when all the bullshit happened
As a system I am honestly kinda tired of people saying he has DID especially since alot of them can't even tell you what it means
Of course. I’ve heard from both singlets (people who aren’t systems) and systems both for and against the idea of Killer having DID/OSDD1/being a system/being plural, and as im not a system, im not gonna comment on or control how systems choose to interpret or headcanon Killer.
But I am of the belief that misinformation should avoid being spread—both of Killer’s canon (not only purely on the basis of not being true, but because if people start believing Killer is canonically a system/has DID/OSDD1 and also is a literal serial killer, that has an understandably bad rep but it may cause people to harass or spread rumors about rahafwabas that aren’t true), and of already misunderstood stigmatized disorders. It also has fantasy themes such as magic, souls, monsters, time travel, Resetting, coming back from the dead multiple times, etc.
Killer is a character involved in themes of heavy abuse (captivity, high control groups, kidnapping, labor trafficking, cult elements, organized crime, etc) and these are all elements that require nuance and care in depicting seriously and respectively—which can be hard to do while also having to keep in mind stigma surrounding the idea of “murderous” or “evil” alter(s)—because these types of abusive controlling environments very often require victims to partake in illegal or harmful acts and behaviors to survive. And this can also very easily to maladaptive coping mechanisms that aren’t easily understood or pretty.
So im of the opinion that if people want to write killer as if he is plural/system and aren’t one themselves, they should both do research and speak to any plurals/systems willing to help them out—and in the actual writing, avoid using terms associated with the actual disorders such as DID, OSDD1, alter, host, persecutor, etc.
Not only because 1. killer was an adult when the trauma and abuse happened, so therefore he’s unlikely to be professionally diagnosed with those disorders even if he shows symptoms and presentations similar to them, and 2. killer himself wouldn’t know what he has and wouldn’t use those terms in relation to himself and his experiences.
He is not in any position to seek diagnosis or treatment or support —under Nightmare and with Chara, he is surviving. He may have a chance of that with Color and the Chromatic Crew in the Omega Timeline, but again—unless this is deliberately an AU where all this trauma happened and stuff when he was an actual child—he likely wouldn’t be diagnosed with it.
So instead it’d be best to focus on his lived experiences regardless of what dissociative disorder one decides to write him with—and use the terms he applies to himself or ones he may apply to himself, such as his numbered hierarchical understanding of his SOUL and its Stages (either something he came up with to make sense of his own experiences, or something that was decided for him by external forces such as Chara or Nightmare.) and perhaps use words like “my stage(s),” “my other,” “my other half,” “when I’m like that,” etc.
And if the topic of Killer having DID ever comes up in the story, such as another character asking him or another Stage if he has it, dont feel the need to confirm it. Not only because Killer himself likely wouldn’t know, but also because he likely doesn’t exactly fit the full criteria for a diagnosis in a canon adjacent story where he was an adult when it all happened.
Of course that’s my opinion, not really important in the grand scheme of things—im not a system—but there it is. Systems, as always, can add and chime in as they wish—and correct any misinformation or misunderstanding if they want.
#canon k1ll_sans#dissociative killer#cw dissociation#cw trafficking#cw abuse#cw trauma#killer sans#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer!sans#undertale au#killertale#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#something new sans#something new au#something new#killertale sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#plural killer#utmv fandom#utmv au#undertale aus
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ivan as a tragic-love character (pt.4c?) (nowhere edition)
Part 2 here. I RE-READ THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT HONESTLY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED I AM NOT SURE WHAT THIS POST CONTAINS. i may have exagerated and also forgotten something, but there is at least another post abt ivan waiting, soooo...
omg i feel like i could write a whole book abt ivan, i swear. i am finally where i wanted to be - the new song, the one that took over my brain and that i kinda want to listen to in repeat for the rest of my life.
and mind you - this is "Ivan Part 1". PART. 1. WTAF.
9] nowhere.
this is probably the moment nowhere is born. ivan's hypocris and dissonance gave birth to this - which may be why the lore of this CD tells us it was found by chance, stored in Anakt Lost and Found Center and recorded as sold by an unknown donor. that means, he probably composed, wrote and recorded nowhere back in anakt, before graduation - though i like the idea of ivan composing this after it, in the period of time he didn't see till, mizi and sua, a period where memories might have taken over his mind and made him nostalgic, restless.
[who is the unknown donor and why is it ivan himself?]
i feel like it is much more personal and raw than black sorrow, and since i am obsessed with ivan, i can't resists its call - it is now my favourite among all the alnst tracks.
the cover.
this is, like, the first step. where the tears start.
it is not our first time seeing little ivan from the slums-arc, but every time, it feels like a punch on the face. the little snaggletooth is there, he is dirty and wears worn out (lab?) clothes and his eyes are so so empty, i can barely stand looking at him without crying.
another important element: the small feet belonging to one of the kids - toes are missing. did those, dunno, froze and got removed? did adults/aliens remove them to torture the kid/make him incapable of running away/as a punishment of sort? no idea. as i said, i love the idea of ivan being born in an illegal factory for pet humans - it would fit so so well - born as a commodity from the very beginning.
like, how much more miserable do i want my baby to be? yes.
the title.
it's nowhere, but for the cover they went like "no, let's play something" and split it in now here. obvious question: why?
nowhere is undefined - it's a no-place, it means "not in or to any place; not anywhere". it might suggest ivan's lack of a sense of belonging, again, the insecurity that comes with not having a stable life - practically and emotionally.
now here is a bit more defined - here is a place, but where, exactly? and is it only a place or more a situation, a moment, a condition? probably both - like, "now i am here, doing this, being this, within this situation and that's it". the song should tell us more!
the lyrics.
and then the music starts.
In love with you When you were mine In love with you (reverse?) In love Love Love always You In love Love always
wow. just - mindblowing.
this is Ivan's solo, his own song, like hyuna's drunk & party and love & peace. the appearance of the world love is incredibly important, but i don't think it defines the theme of the whole song.
what it does is set the pov - this song is written/composed in a moment where ivan: already knows this word + thinks he knows what it means (and links it to till).
the fact that these verses sound radio-like, distant, as if ivan is listening to them instead of actively singing. it creates a gap between them and the rest of the song. it feels like he is composing the song in a moment when he already knows is love is doomed, so he rewinds back to his own origins and speaks abt himself. the song is written by a Ivan who already knows everything, so we can find traces of "future events" in verses of the song that are supposedly about the past.
these words also sound distorted - love is not sweet sounding and charming and light, like my clematis, nor it is energetic and hopeful like unknown until the end, with till wishing to know more and singing abt his resilience. no. in nowhere, love is raspy and numb and has darker hues - it is obsessive, haunting, just like how these verses resound for the entire song in the background.
they sound like a condemnation and a reminder: ivan loves, can't help but love, has no choice but to love, is condemned to love, chose actively to love. they also sound like he is drilling the word into the listener's head by repeating to it non-stop, in an obsessive cycle.
Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history It freely chatters away That always happens to me
Key words: history, beginning to end. i already said many times, but ivan is a narrator. this is the starting point of ivan's story, ivan's realities, both the one he begins to write abt himself (or tries to) and the one from where we can glimpes at the real ivan. the lyrics might have started with "once upon a time there was a black-haired boy..." and get the same effect. he recounts a history (his own) that is real to him, that mirrors his life - but we can't totally believe him. let's keep this in mind!
we know this story ends in black, with an empty spot and blood (black soooorroooooow), but how does it start? this song has references to ivan's past and life at anakt, so it was probably written slighlty before graduation (since the CD was found in anakt warehouse and an unregistered track - how ivan recorded it is a mystery, but we know he has knowledge and priviledges other do not have). either that, or after graduation/before alien stage, and he somehow found a way to sneak the CD there.
that is probably why he writes "from beginning to end, a stained history": he remembers the beginning and is in a position where he can already predict the end of the story - stained, never pure, since the very start, as if his life was destined to be like that.
what abt the "freely chatters away" verse? i'm not sure, because how can someone's history chatter away? i think we can see it as "it freely chatters away from my mouth", like this story spills from ivan easily, like he can easily build lies for the sake of keeping this illusion, this mask he has, going. the expression apparently indicates someone speaking fluidly, in a relaxed way, but also rambling for a long time. it may suggest that, while from the outside ivan looks smooth and collected, from his point of view this is all rambling, it's the fictional-ivan he created for the sake of the society he lives in - a ivan he needs and uses and maybe resents.
"that always happens to me" reinforces the "beginning to end" part of the song - he is singing abt a common theme in his life in a dejected tone, resigned, like he knows/feels he can't do anything abt it and is okay with it. the stain is permanent and he is destined to "that".
Nowhere, rose-tinted rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me
this is where it gets super super interesting. if in the previous part ivan was warning us abt this being a story (his story and/or the story he is writing abt himself), we are now within ivan's narration.
ivan is still nowhere, but we have some coordinates: a "rigid dream and hope" dyed in rosy hues. he tells us about the existence of a dream immersed in a light, delicate color - the color of stereotypical love/affection (?), of beautiful things. also, this dream/hope is rigid, which is not very dream-like or hopeful.
contrasting images, how fitting for our living oxymoron!
a dream may be something that is commonly regarded as beautiful and ideal (a dream), but that for ivan is rigid - forced? unnatural? a dream he has to fit in in order to survive/blend in/function in the society he finds himself in, perhaps. i explained how other kids at anakt see him and how he makes himself friendlier and smilier. this may be it.
we could also make it abt romantic love. maybe ivan is trying to fit into a vision of love he can't fully embrace/mirror, so he perceives it as stiff. i hope i'm about to phrase it in the right way, but a nice example might be the contrast between mainstream and/or hetero depiction of love vs lgbt depiction of love. ivan being (canonically?) gay gives this idea even more credit - in a normal world, without aliens, surrounded by ways of loving ivan doesn't identify in, this sentence presents his discomfort abt not fitting in stereotypical love.
of course alnst!ivan doesn't have that benefit, but i think this discourse may work as some sort of parallelism: ivan can't love the way he sees other people love. take mizi and sua, for example. in ivan's eyes, they fit the "rose-tinted dream and hope", it is not "stiff" if he puts them in it, then he thinks about himself, abt how he loves (loves till) and it doesn't work anymore.
[we could associate it to till's depiction of love - the rosy hues of this dream are not to be intended as stereotypical, but as the ideal love till wants (sees in mizi) and ivan can't give - perhaps, but i'd like to focus on ivan]
"it's stained with blood", here we come to the stained history from before - stained with what? eh. ivan's life started with blood and ended with blood (his own), but also the blood of humanity, of the people he meets, also destined to a bloody end because of the world they live in. a rosy dream, a rosy hope, the blabbering wonders of a young mind end in red, in blood, and the contrast is as good as it is painful. what is the point of trying to fit in an illusion like that when he already knows what the end will be? that's why his story was stained from the beginning - the end was clear as day since ivan's first opened his eyes.
yeah. "that's just how it is", after all, from ivan's pov. he is resigned to it, so the illusion gives him no comfort, prevents him from fitting in. and again, it is something that always happens to him. what is it? not belonging. he is nowhere, in a story written by him that is stained since the beginning (his birth) to the end (his death), a story with no hope of redemption or finding better condition - a story where not even a dream can give him hope.
My sky, shaped by the world doesn't even let me stand under it I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up
i love this part. okay.
"my sky" - the sky is something everyone has above their head. it's just there, no matter the planet. adding "my" kinda gives it something poetic abt it, as if the narrator is not reffering to the sky, but a particular something/someone that can be equated to the sky. while this is a possible interpretation
[again, the sky and the color teal resonate with each other, it is an interesting way of fitting till here, but it's not only that!]
we need to dig a bit more. how many skies did ivan see? the one in the slums - glimpses between rundown buildings -, the night sky before his auction, the fake baby blue at anakt, the red metor shower sky with till, the (fake?) one above the stage he died on. what do the have in common? all are concessions/creations given to him by others. adding "my" makes it interesting, because the sky is not something that can belong to a person, but we know ivan feels a connection with what the sky holds.
"shaped by the world" - that's why he added this. it is "his" sky in the measure which it was shaped by someone/something else. his birth, aliens, till, these are all entities that influenced the "sky" ivan claims as "his", as if to say "i can't have the whole thing because so many have taken it away from me/have limited the sky i could reach".
"doesn't even let me stand under it" - not only that, not only the slice of sky he can have is limited, his sky (this remaining slice) doesn't even accept him. how heart-breaking is this? because we know the sky isn't guilty - this is how ivan perceives himself. he feels rejected by people and by the world, as if it was saying to him that he shouldn't have been born. after all, if the sky does't let him stand under it, what place does ivan have left?
this speaks to me abt his authentic inability to belong. while i think we can say that it is not true that he is unwanted, it is not true that the world rejects him, i can sure understand why he sees himself like that - abandoned, ill threated, sold off, "unloved", used as a commodity. his view of himself, crooked as it is, is not baseles.
he can't have a physical place - so he creates his own reality.
saying "I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up" makes me think abt little ivan, back on the ground, staring up the same way we would lay on grass and watch the clouds move.
"yesterday" - we can take it literally, so the day prior, of more figuratively, it may refer to the past. the story progresses: there was a time when ivan used to have dreams, maybe rose-tinted, maybe those same dreams he can't fit in now, and he regards them now as something from the past, from which he now distance himself
"daydream" - these were not unconscious dreams made at night, but dreams he conjured willingly, his own narrative, the story of the ivan he wanted to be all tangled in this song.
"all torn up" - like he knows better, now, than to abandon himself to them. they are all torn up, probably by the awareness that they are dreams, and that ivan can't fit in.
ivan is talking abt the attempt at dreaming he made when he was young, and abt his discovery/awareness that it doesn't work for him. let's think of the meteor shower event with till. by escaping with him, ivan tried to fit into till's dream (freedom), but failed. so he stares at this, at his "yesterday's daydreams", and replays them in his mind.
does this mean he stops dreaming? honestly, i don't think so. ivan is a hopeless romantic (not strictly related to love, but "of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality"), a drama queen, a narrator. part of the frustration this song suggest may be related to the fact that despite knowing it is useless, he can't help but doing it.
welcome to humanity, baby! human beings and their souls crave for art.
Fly far, far away Never, never again Come back to me Because it's easier to forget It's so typical Typical to me
although not explicitly said, it appears that here ivan is not talking to himself, seems to be referring to a "you". he doesn't have problems with mentioning himself in the lyrics (happens to me, my sky, I lay down), so it must mean something!
i am a bit torn, here, because it could still mean that he (present ivan) is speaking to little ivan. like he wants to chase away his vulnerable and inexperienced past self, so distant from the ivan he became and needs to be in order to live in relative peace until the end. "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". he could also be asking him(self) to escape, at least within the dream - to go far, far away, in a safe place, so not to experience what he had.
but. in love with you, when you were mine. daydreams and hope and blood stains, a sky that doesn't want him... it feels like ivan isn't only at war with himself, but with a different stain, a different imprint, a different someone. the robotic voice is still there, in the background, like a reminder that this is not only about the ivan-self.
ivan is trying to get rid of something.
he is inviting that something to go away, or maybe chasing it away from him, to safety. imagine that something is a someone. imagine that someone is till. now take these words and make them abt till: "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". what if he is telling till to go away becausse he doesn't want to hurt him with his words and behaviour anymore? what if he also doing it for himself? because if ivan doesn't think abt till, if he doesn't think abt the meteor shower, if he doesn't think about alien stage being the place where one of them will probably have to die, he can put all his efforts into his performance and win. we know he can - r3 ended with him making 90 points. till is good, but r6, absent-minded till? ivan could win. it's just that in the end, he can't.
i like both interpretation, because they both force ivan to face parts of himself he probably doesn't like or can't accept or even better, can't understand.
Wake up, wake up In my overwhelming daily life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind
"wake up" - he is talking to himself now. as i said, i don't think adult ivan stops dreaming just because he can't abandon himself to his daydreams the way others do. the point his, waking up is like a slap in the face for him - his daily life is overwhelming: medical experimentations, lessons, alien stage awaiting him, songs to record, death, and what remains of him? "an existence like dust"
he can't stand the idea of keeping his eyes on it. he can't find refuge in the dream (so he turns off his mind), he can't find solace in reality (so he closes his eyes). are you starting to get why the song is called nowhere?
Worse and worse This painful wound I become more and more numb In the dark City lights I Can't find anyone Anyone Anyone
the "painful wound" can be a a trauma (his past, threatment at anakt, meteor shower) or simply a mix of everything - it can be his whole life, perceived as a festering wound he can't heal from, that makes him number and number to everything, both dream and reality. the darkness has lights, but no one in sight.
Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history With that revolting tooth That always happens to me
the chorus repeats, but with a variant - "With that revolting tooth", the saggletooth we and the alien public all love.
hatred toward himself - ivan is incredibly critical of himself, but not in a neautral, objective way. he finds this detail of him "revolting", which is too strong a word and confirms that he cannot be objective when it comes to himself. baby, you are beautiful???? NOTHING is revolting abt you. what the hell.
it may be a reminder of something that happened to him in the slums, though. a trauma, a critica, tortures? i wish i knew!
Nowhere, seeped in purple rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me
his dream and hope take a different hue - purple. it is getting darker, if we think they were initially tinted in a rose-colour. it feels like his daydream is maturing, that there is a temporal shift, so while his first daydreams were rosy, growing up they became purplish. heading toward black?
That's just the kind of kid he is, so laugh Laugh, because he can't do anything No one cares about someone like him There's nowhere in the world for him to rest That's just how he is
another super interesting part. look at the change in subject: he.
i wrote abt ivan's dissonance, his splitting in two, the frustration he feels with himself. i also said he is trying to get rid of something, and it makes a lot of sense that that something is the side of himself he resents/can't understand/can't reason with.
notice how the way he sings this and the next part gets quicker, more raspy, less elegant. it feels like a punch in the face with how intense it is. ivan sounds resentful. not angry, maybe - his voice is soft, haunting, resigned for most of the song, but here? he is letting it all go. he is venting, releasing. "there is nothing to do, kid, things are bound to stay the way they were, the way they are, so just laugh and keep smiling because no one will ever care about you. don't even try, don't look for a place to be, this is how things are and no amount of dreams/efforts will change things up."
so. he is talking to himself. nowhere is a letter to his past self - little ivan, lost between the slums, his daydreams and the hope to be loved. his tone grows louder, more livelier for a moment, because he is feeling it all.
He's smooth, flexible, quite easy Just go past it like it doesn't bother you It's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Again, it's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Like nothing happened
and after talking to himself, he mentions till. i can't fit the English sentence here as something ivan tells himself/kid ivan, it is far from how he perceives himself. the sentence is also in English, so it's like he is highlighting the change in subject.
that's why he reminds himself "don't bother, don't think, ignore it all, forget that it all happened". what? the meteor shower. it comes back to that as a moment where not only till, the whole dream of ivan being able to fit in splits and falls apart - the starting point of the dissonance that will lead ivan to composing this song.
Wake up, wake up In my beautiful life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind
the dream has collapsed, so back to reality - the reality he built for himself, where he can control things. this life is beautiful, but it is obviously a lie, because his existence is still like dust, and he still needs to keep eyes and mind closed.
the wound keeps festering - the reality he builds for himself is to have the illusion of a place to stay, but not a mind-numbing one. he knows he doesn't belong, doesn't pretend to find a place for himself, that's why the rest of the verses are the same. it's still him and he is still aware, but there is a disillusioned acceptance to his role.
Nowhere, from beginning to end A festering histerie With these cruel lips That always happens to me
this is also where the anger and loathing he feels toward himself most emerge, i think.
"festering" reminds us of the wound ivan lives with, the one that keeps hurting and keeps him numbed to the pain, but here it is linked to hysteria ("exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement"). so it really is something ivan feels he can't keep under control. perhaps, the process of putting all this darkness in a song was meant to be cathartic.
"with those cruel lips" makes me wanna scream. because even though i logically link this to ivan and to what he said abt himself in this comic, the song keeps presenting us with instances where we can link some verses to till instead - ivan has been cruel to him, from ivan's pov, but maybe, a part of ivan also blames till for cruelly ignoring him and his sorrow.
Nowhere, seeped in black rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me That always happens to me That always happens to me
"seeped in black"!!!!! darkness fell, ivan's heart is still once more, he is once again in control - resigned to his fate, or better, the fate he assigned himself.
"black" winks at black sorrow - and perhaps this is the moment ivan began to plan his willing demise.
this may also be why the cover says "now here": ivan is here, in pre-alien stage, with this song in his hands, with these memories freshly extracted from his mind, freshly recollected. he disposes of it all and goes back to the short life that remains him, the chaos in his head appeased, the confusion numbed, ready to head toward the black end.
° * °
ivan is presented with all these contrasts and complications and differences between what he would have wanted to be (his dream) and what his reality has to offer (till loving mizi, ivan loveless and unlovable, a death game with an inevitable ending).
i thought nothing hurt more than black sorrow, but this song is painfully ivan. it couldn't have gotten more personal than this, and it makes my heart ache so much.
this is the song the pictures ivan most perfectly. this is also the song ivan never wanted us, everyone, to find. the dissonance and hypocrisis in himself grew to a point that he probably needed to let it out - and what's the best way to do it for someone like ivan who seldom even feels like needing to let it all out? music. he has been studying it profoundly, knows it can be cathartic - has seen his friends, especially till, use music as a medium for emotions, both controlled and bottled up.
he composes and writes this to be abt himself - maybe abt his friends, maybe against the system -, but he does and narrates himself the way he sees himself, the ivan that he thinks he is. we know he is an unreliable narrator, and the song tells us exactly that: this is ivan, someone who can't be trusted when describing himself, so in a way, the unreliability is ivan's most accurate portrait.
he probably felt naked after recording this, so i have a strong feeling ivan himself disposed of it - that is why it was "found" in a warehouse - as the song is ivan's story, but also a cry against the system for making him like this and a love/hate letter, to till and to himself. he couldn't let anyone find it before his death, now, could he?
PART 4!!
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in their defense the general conversation seems anti that-whole-thing but theyre also just kinda. 'damn that sucks. anyway' about it
(sonic fandub tails voice) can you guys stop being racist in the meeting room while im entering invoices
#that and the riffing that. was kinda pro illegal immigrant abuse but im trying to pretend that was more poor taste than. fucked#but also like. guys its fucking 2:55 on a thursday can we Not
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Say TT, what would be your top 10 T-rexes from media?
Ooo, tough one. I don't know if I can even rank them - I think I'll just share ten I love.
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We'll start with the queen, the goddess, my inspiration, the T.rex(es) from Jurassic Park (and its sequels). An elegant design with so many iconic features, from the angry eyebrows to the overbite and of course the iconic roar. The franchise itself stops treating the T.rex with respect from the third movie on, but that doesn't stop it from being its flagship creature.
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As villainous rexes go, I don't think any have surpassed that bastard Sharp Tooth, who channels the raw horror of the most fearsome fighting animal in the fossil record.
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Every single moment of the T.rexes in Prehistoric Planet filled me with delight and childlike wonder - yes, even when one got chased away my quetzalcoatluses. It was just nice to see a dino documentary where T.rex doesn't die for once, and seeing rexes be tender and social was also something I deeply crave but rarely get to see in dinosaur media.
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For dino documentaries that break my heart, the Walking With Dinosaurs rex reigns supreme. I know it's not a particularly accurate reconstruction (and in fact kind of mind bogglingly weird if you look at the details closely - what is going on with the area where her skull meets her neck?), but the story they tell with the rexes here is so tragic that it's burned into my mind. There's the one scene of a rex howling alone in the forest in search of a mate, where the narration notes that it's unlikely anyone will answer the call, that's just lodged into my memory as the ultimate illustration of romance-based loneliness. I feel that rex, man. I feel that howl into the empty woods.
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I know it's not a "good" movie, but fuck it, I love The Last Dinosaur. I love the suitamation, I love how the T.rex is presented as this borderline supernatural threat in the vein of Moby Dick, I love that it actually gives us a T.rex vs. Triceratops fight (an odd rarity in dinosaur media despite it being a matchup that 1. happened a LOT in reality and 2. pits two of the most popular and fearsome dinosaurs against each other - "T.rex vs. Triceratops" is, like, someone who's so hot that no one ever asks them out because they think they have no chance).
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There's a Japanese kid's movie about a girl who's trying to reconnect with her estranged paleontologist mother and ends up adopting a baby T.rex, and it's very cute and deeply emotional and has scenes of a baby T.rex in a Christmas cape and Santa hat evading the Feds because that's just what you have to do when you're a weird animal companion to a child. It love it. It's called Rex: A Dinosaur Story and I watch it illegally every year because there's no US release of it.
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You Are Umasou is another Japanese piece of paleomedia aimed at children with a deeply emotional story about strained parent-child relationships that involves a T.rex - several T.rexes, actual, one of which invents the art of kickboxing to style over his opponents - and l also used to watch it illegally, but luckily Discotek Media released a blu-ray collection of it and its sequels (called "The Heart and Yummie Collection" in an atttempt to translate the pun of the original title that only kinda works), so now I can just watch it whenever, to my delight.
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Fang from Primal is one of the most well-rounded T.rex characters in media and I love her so much, even if I can't watch the first episode of that show ever again. It's a shame that show never got a second season, I would have loved to see more of Fang's adventures in a prehistoric world full of dinosaurs and monsters. A damn shame that they didn't continue it - they certainly wouldn't have made the show be about ancient human civilizations with almost no monsters and a weird scene where a woman sleeps with a caveman covered in third degree burns.
Speaking of tyrannosaurs who get a great deal of characterization and team up with cavemen to fight dinosaurs and monsters in a fantastical prehistoric world, none have ever done it better than the original Devil Dinosaur. He lost all of that characterization and, like, any agency at all really when Jack Kirby stopped writing him, sadly, but at least he had a fun team up with Godzilla before he was reduced to a mindless brute and/or glorified pet in subsequent Marvel stories.
Finally we end with Gon, the star of the manga of the same name, a tiny little T.rex (well, arguments could be made he's more of a generic theropod, but he's been called a T.rex enough for me to count him here) whose anthology series tells some of the most dramatic, emotional stories about animals surviving in the harshness of nature without a single line of dialogue. Gon's stories range from the humorous to the downright tragic, and you can always tell what this little dinosaurs is thinking and feeling without him saying a goddamn word. Also he personally beat the shit out of every single fighter in Tekken, which basically makes him as powerful as twenty Gokus.
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