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larriefails · 5 years ago

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28 is not a Larry number - a masterpost

Since @theystudyrainbows has decided to put all the Larrie delusions on this number in one handy masterpost, why not debunk it all in one go?

Even the introduction is a mess. The 28 is not “a One Direction fandom mystery” at all. It’s Louis’ jersey number that he was assigned at Doncaster Rovers and that he has since then adopted. But then again, Liam’s kidney and the Belfast canceled concert are not mysteries either

How decent of you to say that some of these are coincidences, considering literally all of the following is bullshit

The fact that “too many people to name” contributed to write this drivel makes my heart ache

Harry has no connection to the number 28 whatsoever

The problem with you attempting numerology is that there are only 9 possible digits (as the addition of two numbers can never be zero). So, you clown yourselves because it leads to this

Eleanor was born on July 16th 1992:

7+1+6+1+9+9+2 = 35

3+5 = 8

Oh no!

But also, Zayn was born on January 13th 1992:

1+1+3+1+9+9+2 = 26

2+6 = 8

(: Ya see how that’s just not good?

Not only that, but also, as I said, Harry has no connection to the number 28, but for shits and giggles

Kendall Jenner was born on November 3rd 1995:

1+1+3+1+9+9+5 = 29

2+9 = 11

1+1 = 2

So.. basically this is worthless information that you pulled out of your ass. Or I could easily claim that 28 is an Elounor or a Hendall number

You also use this method to count Harry and Louis’ X Factor numbers, but as we’ve established, there are only 9 options, the odds are stacked for this coincidence

How is that 28? That’s 82.. A completely different number. In the UK the date is written day/month/year. So the “same gig” was the 8th day of the 2nd month. 82. It’s very funny that, since you’re Italian and live in the UK (both countries that use the day/month/year system) you’ve written every date so far that way, but now that you want to say this other random date is connected to 28, you switched to month/day/year.

Also, where is the year in this equation? We’ve been using the entire date so far, but now we’re only focusing on the day and month? (and switching order?) That seems very convenient. Almost like, if you try hard enough, any date can add up to 28 in some way?

November 17th 2011, Louis and Eleanor’s anniversary: 11+17=28! Oh no! DRATS! It’s still an Elounor number!

And now we’re just ignoring the month and only focusing on the day. And not only that, but ignoring half the time they were there (the 27th) to only focus on the 28th. That is, once again, very convenient

But continuing with your own ridiculous logic. We know that Louis and Eleanor went to V Fest together in 2011, because Eleanor said so on twitter when Sugarscape wondered if the “brown haired girl” holding hands with Louis at V Fest was her

V Fest was on August 20th and 21st 2011. What do you know? 20+8 = 28! Damn... this is getting suspicious. Louis!!! Did you get the 28 for Eleanor? :)

This is a whole ass facepalm. I’m going to link the video here just so it’s verifiable how unhinged y’all are

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He literally turns for 1 millisecond, and is looking in the general area of his right because that’s where everyone else in the band is standing. The fact that y’all still do this shit is so embarrassing for your life and your soul

But why don’t you tell the truth? That y’all decided their anniversary was the 28th and then created this completely impossible to prove “receipt”? How is it proof of anything if it came AFTER y’all had decided the 28 was their anniversary? Your circular logic knows no bounds

Harry has not used the 28 number AT ALL. Louis hasn’t used the 28 as his jersey number “often,” he started using it in 2013 when it was assigned to him by the Doncaster Rovers when he was signed as a semi professional player

This is from goal.com, one of the most important sources of soccer information in the world X

The article is from September 2013 and John Ryan, the chairman of the Rovers, explains that 28 was HIS number, that HE used for a match. Soccer players have assigned numbers throughout the season, and the number 28 had been retired from the line up after John Ryan used it in 2003. He decided to bring it back to give it to Louis. And Louis was signed as a soccer player professionally with that number. That’s why it’s important to him, you bag of nonsense. This was his life long dream in the club he loved. He probably spent hours and hours daydreaming about being signed professionally to play soccer and when he finally accomplished that, it was with the number 28, so of course it’s gonna be important to him!

Find ONE INSTANCE of Louis using the number 28 before the summer of 2013. ONE. You won’t! The tattoo came after that, him wearing it on his jerseys came after that. According to Larrie Lore Harry and Louis started dating in 2011 (apparently September 28th 2011, go figure), but for two full years neither of them did anything related to the number 28 whatsoever!

Why didn’t Louis wear the 28 in his first charity match in 2012?

The fact that he wore 17, which is his and Eleanor’s anniversary. LMAO can you say ouch? Furthermore, Louis didn’t CHOOSE the 28, it was ASSIGNED to him because it was the symbolic number the chairman had used back in 2003. It was a retired number that no player had used for 10 years, and they decided to give it to him as a gesture. Man, that would be a HUGE coincidence if out of 40 something available numbers in a soccer line up, Louis had wanted exactly the one that was retired and meant a whole lot for the chairman, instead of the chairman offering it to Louis, like LOGIC says. Another HUGE coincidence that he had not bothered with the 28 at all up until that point and then started having it everywhere. But I thought Larries hated those?

After this you list all the times Louis has used the 28, which there are a lot, but all come after 2013, I don’t want to add more pointless screenshots here. Doncaster Rovers jersey (from 2013 on), dodgeball jersey (2015), in ears (2015), tattoo (2015), BTY music video (2017), LTHQ’s first IG username (2017), his playlist (2018/2019)

How is that... 28? That’s 90028. And this isn’t a date, where you can just pick the number apart as you wish. This is a zip code for a secret show the Rolling Stones played in LA in 2015

Not only that, but Harry (and this is hilariously tragic for you) was ACTUALLY AT THE GIG! THAT’S WHY HE POSTED THE PHOTO!

Posting the screenshot with the date so you can see. May 21st 2015. Article by the LA Times X

This is Harry at the actual gig with Mick Jagger you absolute MORON X

And this is Harry wearing a Rolling Stones shirt the day after the gig because he’s that much of a fanboy

Y’all the second hand embarrassment is K I L L I N G me. CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD OVER THE FACT THAT THIS WAS WRITTEN IN ACTUAL SERIOUSNESS

Why is “professional” in scare quotes?? I can’t believe that you just added 1+2+3+4+5+6+7. Oh my god. I can’t believe I have to say this but *whispers* those are consecutive numbers. They just used consecutive numbers... And why would Harry’s HQ account managed by the team that’s “oppressing them” use a secret code with their beloved 28? How does that make ANY sense?

The article is wrong. He wore TWENTY-SEVEN Gucci suits. I can’t believe that’s a sentence I just typed, but alas

1- Basel, 2- Copenhagen, 3- Hamburg, 4- Milan, 5- Bologna, 6- London I, 7- Hong Kong, 8- Bangkok, 9- Rio de Janeiro, 10- Mexico City I and II (same suit), 11- Houston, 12- Fort Lauderdale 13- Nashville, 14- Hershey, 15- Philadelphia, 16- Toronto, 17- MSG I, 18- DC, 19- Detroit, 20- Indianapolis, 21- Chicago, 22-St. Paul, 23- Denver, 24- Seattle, 25- San Jose, 26- LA I, 27- LA II

In 60 concerts, he also wore Charles Jeffrey 4 times, Saint Laurent 3 times, Palomo Spain 2 times, a custom kilt, Harris Reed 5 times, Clavin Klein 6 times, Alexander McQueen 7 times, Givenchy 4 times. Just so you don’t think I’m purposefully missing out on a suit to make it 27. The article probably counted Mexico’s suit twice. But it’s not 28 suits, it’s 27. The Mexico suit was the same both nights

I would love to know how this would be relevant to Larry or how this would mean the number 28 is important to Harry. Does he have OCD? I don’t get it

Here we have another round of “I will MAKE IT FIT 28 IF IT KILLS ME!”

Let’s see the different tactics that you used

Adding day and month

Taking only the day

Adding day month and year. Except you left out the 2 in 2017. Because otherwise it wouldn't add up. I can’t deal with thisodnadmsla

Harry performed track 2, meaning, his lead single that he was still promoting, Sign of the Times, and 8 Ever since NEW YORK because... he was performing in... New York...

Only the day. Wow, you actually repeated tactics once!

Adding two completely different dates together, that have absolutely no correlation. How are Sweet Creature, Harry’s promo single, and the music video for a different single, related in any way? What? Why not Kiwi’s music video? Why not Two Ghosts music video? Why not the release of either of those singles to radio? Can you make it any more obvious that you’re just pulling this completely out of your ass?

You repeat tactics again, except it’s the most ridiculous tactic of adding all the numbers in the date except the 2 of the year and it’s for “Harry posted link to Twitter to Sign of the Times music video PREVIEW.” Oh my god

And now you’re counting days between two dates, because that’s not unhinged. I’m guessing you mean the April 14th not 24th, but that also wasn’t the date? It was the 13th? It depends on the time zone you were in?

For someone who, according to you, plans with such precise care to match to 28, he didn’t wait until it would be 28 days for everyone. It’s not even because it was tweeted at midnight UK since this is like 3/4 AM UK time. In fact, it wasn’t midnight anywhere relevant (or anywhere, in general since it was at .54 minutes). So not only is this ridiculous, it’s also incorrect

1. That’s not a fan, that’s his cousin, but Larries know barely anything about Harry if it can’t involve Larry so I’m not surprised you don’t know

2. Imagine him asking “please, make the password add to 28“ to his staff. I have tears in my eyes picturing it

3. I CAN’T BREATHE. Y’all are BLIND on top of INCREDIBLY STUPID. That’s THE DATE

That’s his Hamburg concert, which you can tell because of his suit, which was on MARCH 25TH 2018 (he posted the pictures the day after)

AKA 250332018 which is what the password says

You not only confused an 8 with a 9, but also created numbers out of thin air because of a pixel smudge and failed to realize it was the FUCKING DATE. WHICH DOESN’T EVEN ADD TO 28! 2+5+3+2+1+8= 21

This is perhaps the most ridiculous thing written in this post, which is already one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read. Can you imagine Harry counting to 28 in his head in the middle of the concert? I can’t y’all, this is too much. You’re A GROWN WOMAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I also found it incredibly suspicious that you didn’t outright link the video which you do throughout the post, and turns out it is because he didn’t pause for 28 seconds (what is this fucking sentence?)

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He stops playing and singing at 2.40. Then speaks until 2.43. Then the “pause” which is just him trying to get the audience to stop screaming until 3.07 when he says (I can’t really make it out) “now you” or something like that. And then he says “for your eyes...” and lets the audience sing at 3.09. Literally none of these timestamps add to 28 and he had no way of counting to 28 since he was silencing people the entire time. And just like when he switched “I have love you since we were 18″ to “I have loved you since I was 16″ hitting his own chest, or when he said he fell in love to What Makes You Beautiful, you missed the entire point of this bit, which is Harry’s LOVE FOR HIS FANS

He has loved us since he was 16, he fell in love to us to What Makes you Beautiful, and he was letting us sing that part of the song every concert. He “paused” to shush the nonsensical screams, then he would give the audience the cue and let them sing. Several times he dedicated the song to specific fans in the audience, people with cancer, little kids, a fan that had neck surgery. By making it about Larry, you stripped it from its actual meaning and Harry’s love for his fans. But you always do shit like that

Regardless, he didn’t pause for 28 seconds. Wrong

And you end the post with the most anticlimactic possible tone

Here’s the video

youtube

Harry is talking about anniversaries because he’s reading a sign from the audience... about.. anniversaries

Y’all are the definition of clowns. All that fuss for the 28 and THIS is your proof?

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #larry is real #larry #larry stylinson #harry #louis #theystudyrainbows #larrie fails

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therecoversite · 7 years ago

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Letting Go With Love : The Sister of an Addict’s Story

New Post has been published on https://therecoverdev.wpengine.com/letting-go-with-love-the-sister-of-an-addicts-story/

Letting Go With Love : The Sister of an Addict’s Story

A personal story on National Sibling’s Day. Some of the information has been changed or edited to protect the identity of the people in this story.

My story is just like many others. I am not special because of what my family has gone through because we are just another number in the statistics of national drug abuse. On the heels of National Sibling day, I am here to tell you about what its like to be the sister of an addict.

My older sister is 9 years older than me. She was the one who started it all. She had our mother all to herself for the first 8 years of her life. Vacations in Mexico, private Christian school in Huntington Beach and Parasailing over the Pacific Ocean at 5 years old.

And then our mother met my father and her family grew, substantially. She became the oldest of four and had a hard time dealing with the reduction in attention she received. Her mother now had 3 littles in a just over 2 and a half years, my older brother and I being born just 9 months apart.

My earliest memories of my older sister were of her and her friends hanging out in her room, listening to Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Stone Temple Pilots and sneaking out to smoke cigarettes, making us promise not to tell our mom. Soon she started sneaking out late and worrying my mother who left for her bread route at 2am when she worked for Wonder Bread.

She started running away at 14 and became continually truant in high school. They found meth in her backpack and she was kicked out of her high school. At 15 she and her friends stole our mother’s car and eventually crashed it into a grocery store almost 100 miles away. My mom woke up to a call from an Orange County hospital alerting her to what had happened.

Later I recall visiting her in Juvenile detention halls. We would pack in the new car and go for weekly visits on Saturdays, go through the metal detectors and sit at an ice cold metal table while she would glare at us and count down the 90 minutes until we would leave.

When she came home I didn’t recognize her, she was standing at our door without warning, the sunset glow dimming, and her frame was heavier, healthier, than when she went in. I ran to her and cried, she told me she would never forget that moment. But I think she did.

Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there, she started using methamphetamine at 14 years old and continued to use well into her adulthood. Becoming a mother was the only thing that saved her when she turned 22. Her son was the light of her life and I became an aunt at 14.

Two years later she gave birth to my niece and we had our first tiny little girl in the family. A mother of two now at 25. She had stopped using the methamphetamine but began drinking instead and the decline began. After a few years domestic violence disputes became more and more regular and eventually she and her husband separated. She came to live with us again in my mom’s new husband’s home and we got to see our niece and nephew all the time. I love my nephews and nieces more than anything in this world.

I loved having them around, I used to put my nephew to sleep by putting on this DVD of old story books brought to life. He loved the movie Cars and Ratatouille. But while I was putting her kids to sleep at 17, she was making new friends in the neighborhood and drinking until she blacked out. I knew she was drinking but I would protect her from my mother. Telling my mom she was tired but wasn’t drinking. I was enabling at 17 unaware of the fact. I just didn’t want my sister and my mom to fight.

Eventually there was an incident that I couldn’t protect her from my mother’s anger. We had taken a trip to our community pool with my niece and nephew. I was playing in the pool with the kids while she laid on a pool chair drinking vodka straight from a water bottle. She became so intoxicated I had to pick up all the kids toys and take her 2 and 4-year-old to the car, then return to drag her back to the car in her drunken stupor. By the time we made the one-mile drive home she was passed out in the passenger seat. I tried to hide her drunkenness and handed my mom the kids and told them they needed a nap. I dragged my sister out of the car while she cursed at me then collapsed on the stairs and fell asleep at my mother’s door. She would be passed out for 18 straight hours, while her children would be crawling on top of her, using their tiny fingers trying to pry their mother’s eyes open. She awoke 18 hours later to a house full of angry and disappointed family members.

There were arguments between my mother and my sister, she had come to live with us, so she could get away from the chaos, have help raising her small children, stop drinking and get a job to support herself. But instead she started drinking in secret, she got a job as a bartender at a local golf course and she would come home reeking of alcohol. Every chance she had she would drink. It was unstoppable and there was nothing we could do or say that would make her stop.

My mother’s relationship with her husband was rocky due to his bipolar disorder and the chaos her family brought to his home. Eventually my mother took a job out of state, we were 19, 18 and 17. She drove to Colorado to take a job in the oil field and my older brother and sister stayed in my stepfather’s home. My little sister and I moved in with our boyfriends.

Once the divorce papers were drawn up, I drove to be with my mom in Colorado. My older sister moved back in with her husband and continued drinking. My little sister stayed with her boyfriend and graduated high school. My brother continued living with my step father until he joined my mother and I in Colorado.

While our family was spread apart her alcoholism grew worse. She and her husband broke up again and she met another man to feed her compulsive need to not be alone. She eventually was arrested for DUI while driving with my niece and nephew in the car. CPS got involved and her children were sent to live with their father and grandmother. My brother, mother and I were 900 miles away and we knew we had to come home. As much as we loved the open world that Colorado offered, our family was in need.

While her children were in the care of ex-husband, she remarried. We didn’t know until 3 months later. But she was getting better, attending her court ordered classes, maintaining sobriety and working at a restaurant during the day. Eventually she reunited with her kids, while her new husband was sent to prison for a theft charge that occurred shortly after my niece and nephew were sent to live with their father and grandmother.

She maintained her sobriety while she held down the single mother role during the time her new husband was serving his 10-month sentence. I helped her take care of her children when I moved back from Colorado 3 months before my mom and brother moved back. Our relationship was strained because I was feeling taken advantage of by my sister and underappreciated, but I put up with it because I loved my niece and nephew so much. Eventually our personalities clashed, and we stopped speaking to each other. She refused to allow us to see her children and it hurt us so much. We only reunited when our grandmother passed away from breast cancer.

When her husband was released from prison they moved into a big house and started raising her family together. She soon became pregnant again and they were happy. They held Christian based recovery meetings in their home on Wednesdays and they were going to church. Things were getting back to normal.

She was a good mom; her husband was ecstatic to be a father for the first time. I was able to be in the delivery room with her and I held her leg as she gave birth to my youngest nephew. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had with my older sister.

For the first 2 and a half years of my nephew’s life, they continued their sobriety. But eventually prescription pills led to alcohol and then alcohol turned into separate secret drug use. The secrets fueled the domestic violence that began to occur on a weekly basis. My sister had a moment of clarity and agreed to allow her now sober ex husband to have full custody of the oldest children and she promised to work on her marriage and try to get clean again. My family was devastated.

But with less children to care for, she began using more heavily. She would sneak away at night and not return for days; her husband would bring my nephew to my home early in the morning while he went to work and I cared for their 3 year old son. I was trying to help but I looked at that little boy and thought “I can’t let you grow up like this”

I was 25 now and I was sick of watching my sister hurt her children. They had seen enough dysfunction to last a lifetime. I began making calls to CPS and explaining the situation. Somehow they were never able to see what I saw. We felt like my nephew would be another child who slipped through the cracks.

My boyfriend and I took my 3-year-old nephew everywhere every chance we got. We loved him. He was so sweet and affectionate and happy. We just wanted to give him a place to play without drunken arguments playing out in the background. My sister was using again and CPS wouldn’t step in.

Eventually the domestic violence took a dangerous turn which led to police involvement and one October morning my sister and my nephew ended up on my doorstep again, along with a police escort.

They moved in with us and slept in the spare bedroom. My mother was away on a job in North Dakota and it was just my boyfriend and I in the house. She began sneaking out at night, and we would awake to my 4-year-old nephew’s cries calling out “Where’s mommy?” at 2 in the morning. He would sleep with us and then my sister would come slither back into the house around sunrise.

I was just waiting for our mom to come home from North Dakota, she would fix this and set my sister straight. But when she came home she was just as overwhelmed as I was. Nothing we would say would stick and she started sneaking away for longer periods of time. I told her she needed to go to a rehab again, we would watch her son and I called around and got a bed for her at a treatment center 30 miles away.

She would become aggressive and unhinged when we would call her out on her substance abuse. I was at my wits end and so was my mother. After a frightening reality check, she took a ride with her childhood best friend and entered into a two-month program. Her husband took my nephew and I was hurt and angry at my sister.

When she graduated from the program she reunited with her husband and her son. I was still angry and now distrustful of her motives. After watching this my entire life, I wasn’t sure two months was enough time to change her. I kept her at a distance and she became closed off to us again. I would ask to take my nephew on day trips to the aquarium and she agreed. She always knew how much I loved her children.

At one point my mother and I were in discord about how much we could trust her, I felt strongly against her being alone with her kids while my mother wanted to trust her. It became the fight that led to us not speaking to each other for almost 6 months. She moved in with my older sister and then took a job in Ohio and left.

I knew my sister had started using again. She stopped answering her phone, she wouldn’t let me see my nephew and I was so worried for him. He had just turned 5.

My boyfriend and I moved into our own place and didn’t hear from my mother or my sister for months. Then I’d heard that my sister’s husband was arrested for burglary and they were being evicted from their home. I offered to help my sister move or watch my nephew while they were moving.

I told my employers at the time that I may need to take some time off to help my sister. Work was getting slow and lay offs where happening everywhere. My boss was a particularly kind man and held onto me as long as he could, and then laid me off so I could be there for my family and collect unemployment.

A week later my sister dropped my nephew off at my house. His father was arrested again for violating probation and his mother was sick. She was going to care for her and needed help with my nephew. I was so happy to have him.

But the overnight turned into 2 nights and then 3 and then it was Mother’s Day morning. The last thing I’d heard was her car had broken down on the side of the road and she was walking to the local bar to drink away her stress. I told her to contact me when she could come pick up her son. Two days later we couldn’t get ahold of her. I called CPS and reported abandonment after being persuaded by my high school friend turned social services worker. The next day I filed for guardianship of my nephew.

She contacted me that morning and told me she had been arrested for possession and drunk in public. But she had been released the day prior and hadn’t contacted us. I felt strongly that the decision I was making was the right one.

She was upset but she knew she had no grounds to fight me for him. She had no car, no money, her husband was in jail and her mother in law in the hospital. She self-medicated and went back to her binge.

I was awarded temporary guardianship after I filed for an emergency hearing three days later. She didn’t show up for court and the judge postponed the next court date another two weeks. That night my nephew’s grandmother passed away from her sickness.

I had just turned 28 and we had moved into a small 2-bedroom home. We were struggling from my lay off and he came to us in ill-fitting hand me down clothes and wasn’t wearing any underwear. I reached out to my community and was shocked at the help we received. We had his room furnished with bunk beds, all kinds of toys and new and used clothes, within 3 days of asking for help.

Every night he would wake up 5 or 6 times, come into our room and check to make sure we were still there. He told us his parents would go into the garage and lock the door, leaving him alone the entire time at night. When they would be in the house coming down off the drugs they were using, he would be put into his room with a tablet and a bag of chips. He told me that we ate a lot, because he only used to eat one time a day.

Two weeks later our next court date arrived, and I reached out to my sister. She told me she was coming to court to fight for her son and I was privately enthusiastic that she was going to try and fight for her son. But when we were called up by the judge in court she was no where to be found. The judge postponed our hearing another day and after I left the court house my brother in law and I went straight to her mother in laws home where she was staying to find out why she didn’t show up.

When I got there what I found was more than I could comprehend. The house was something out of a nightmare and I cried thinking about my nephew living in an environment as horrendous as this. When I opened my sister’s bedroom door we found a strange man sleeping on the ground, and no sister. I took pictures to document the condition of the home and my brother in law took to speaking to the strange man found sleeping mid-day in a home that was not his. He told us my sister had left earlier that morning to go to court and he didn’t know where she was.

Later that day we were able to get ahold of her, she said she was willing to go into treatment but she needed a ride and wanted to go to court for the next appearance. She showed up the next day and we held each others hand as we spoke to the judge. She told him of her intentions of entering treatment and the judge commended us on our ability to work together for the best interest of her child.

That night she spent her last night with us in our home, having dinner and spending quality time with her son. In the morning the next day her ex husband picked her up and drove her to a friend’s house near the treatment center where she would stay until a bed became available for her. Her friend had recently graduated from the same program and was on the path to success.

After 6 weeks she went into the homeless triage center, she stayed there for two weeks and then she was admitted into the Christian program that was one year of inpatient rehabilitation. After she graduated the program would help her find employment and help pay her rent for up to one year after completion. We were hopeful.

But with programs that have such amazing benefits, they are also strict with their rules. She was reprimanded for having cell phones before the program allowed her to. After she was caught for a third time, and under stress, she walked. A week later our mother was bringing my nephew for his second visit and they informed my mother that she had left the week earlier. Our hope was diminished.

My boyfriend and I were busy adjusting to life with a 5 year old. He started kindergarden and I started working part time while he was in school. He was having night terrors and still checking on us to make sure we were home, but eventually he was able to sleep through the night. He started calling me mom two months into living with us and I let my sister know. She was comforted knowing that her son was being raised in a loving home.

Over the next few months my sister started working again, she was determined to stay clean and try to find recovery on her own. We were talking again and eventually she started staying overnight for visits with her son.

Slowly we realized she was abusing alcohol again, she was missing her appointed visitation time and she was secretive about where she was. Our first Christmas with my nephew was bitter sweet, his father called from prison and he spent the rest of the day with my boyfriend’s family and I. That night his mother came to visit and we could feel her resentment. An argument ended the visit and we could tell she was using again. She vowed to fight to take back her son and I asked her to leave.

She filed to take back custody of her son and in February we were back in court again on separate sides of the room. We were required to use character witnesses and testify against one another to prove who was fit to raise her son. It was one of the most painful days of my life.

In the closing arguments my older sister testified that she knew her son was in the safest place, and that she was unable to provide for him the way a child needed to be provided for. The entire thing was a waste of time and emotion, I was crushed to have to speak so publicly bad of my sister, but I had to protect the innocent six year old who needed a stable upbringing.

We arranged for weekly visits and she started renting a room with a friend. Things were better than ever. For mother’s day she got me a card and came to visit for the evening. I was starting to trust my sister again.

Over the summer she started staying over for longer visits and I would have my older niece and nephew come to stay too so she could be with all three of her children. But when I discovered mini liquor bottles in her purse I had to say something. She became defensive again and we were back to square one.

My nephew by this time was starting to become more aware of the changes and more understanding of why he was living with my boyfriend and I. We kept doing what we needed to do, and eventually my sister agreed not to drink around her kids while she was visiting.

A few months later my nephew’s dad was released from prison. He was excited to see his son but I was cautious and protective of my new family. He was safe and we were finally doing really well, our finances stable and he was just starting first grade.

His father was respectful and came to visit at our home, they were calm and enjoyable for my nephew and that’s all I wanted for him.

But soon my sister again reunited with her husband and the past could no longer stay dead. They were back to their old ways and their disfunction started creeping into their visits with my nephew. I would not allow them to see him together because I did not want him to be subject to their unpredictable relationship.

And then they started getting arrested again, one for violating parole, the other for possession. We built up our walls again and they broke up as a couple again. They had burned all their bridges and wrecked relationships with everyone who had helped them. They were alone and addicted again.

The final straw came when my sister had run off with a friend during the holidays. While she was gone I found out my nephew’s father was arrested again but this time for possession and I refused to allow him to visit until he took me to court. I was sick of the lies and them using my compassion against me. A year and a half into raising my nephew, it clicked inside me that I needed to be stronger to protect the now 7 year old boy who called me his mom.

On my sister’s return from her compulsive trip out of state, she called me to ask if I had heard from his father, which I had not because I had refused to allow him to visit. She told me she was worried because the last conversation they had he was saying concerning things and she was worried about his mental state and the possibility that he would be crushed from losing his visitation, enough so to harm himself.

I was upset and torturing myself from the thought that my action may have led to my nephew losing his father. I was a wreck and worried for him as well. A few days later my nerves were calmed by one of his family members who told me he had been arrested a week beforehand.

My sister had known all along where her husband was. And my codependent self allowed me to hold responsibility for the actions of a 35-year-old man.

He called from jail and explained that she had known all along. He did not know she had called me to ask where he was. I was now boiling by the thought of her betrayal.

I called her out on her deceitfulness and she denied it. She said she had no idea where he was until I told her. I couldn’t stand the manipulation anymore. I refused to allow her in my home for visits, she would have to figure out how she could see him because I was doing all of the work, feeding her, paying for us all to be together and all the while she took advantage of our kindness.

That weekend I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I fell apart. I wanted to keep quiet and hold it all in but I just couldn’t do it. But that released allowed me to feel the full strength and admit my part in enabling and my co-dependent tendencies I had with my older sister.

Although I was not on speaking terms with her, I was worried. On her last visit she had looked disheveled and said some concerning things. That week I made a call to her old treatment center to see if they had an available bed for her. I took down the information and because of the support I found in the Al-Anon program I knew I couldn’t be the one to help her, but I could give her the information she needed to help herself.

A month later she was arrested for possession. I let her know that she was welcome back at her old treatment center and if she could get a ride she would be admitted right away. Our mother took her in and let her stay with her until she got a ride from a friend. She went into treatment again on February 21st, 2018.

While I am glad to see my sister getting the help she so desperately needs, I am also hesitant to allow her into my life at this point. She will forever be my older sister, but when drugs and alcohol addiction take over someone’s life, blood is no longer important. I have been hurt by my sister in ways that no sibling should ever be treated.

We have been raising my nephew for almost two years this coming May. We just had our annual guardianship review and were given the green light for the adoption process. He is truthfully excited at the prospect of us being his permanent parents and asked my long-term boyfriend if he can start calling him “Dad” now. He has had to be informed in delicate ways about his parent’s drug abuse and has told us that he feels much safer with us in our home.

I will always love my sister. But sometimes life takes one role and turns it into another. I was an aunt and now I am a mother. On national sibling’s day, I encourage you to love your siblings fiercely, but to also take care of what’s important, rather than doing what’s more comfortable for the other person.

Most families are unaware of the type of damage they can do while enabling their addicted loved one. Addiction is one of the nastiest diseases one can ever face and while you may have every intention of helping, you help can be furthering their harm. Put yourself in a place that allows you to take care of yourself first, and if they need your help, they will know exactly where to go. To you.

From there you can direct them to the safest place for them and then it’s up to them if they follow through.

That’s what family is for.

#Featured

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no-this-is-sin-blog · 7 years ago

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400 QUESTIONS!

C1. Name: Mady 2. Nickname(s): Two-Bit, Madster, Mads, and (by my teachers) STOP DRAWING! 3. Birthday: April 19, 4. That makes you (age): an age 5. Where were you born (city): Albuquerque, New Mexico 6. Location right now (planet ): Earth 7. Shoe size: US Women's size 9 wide 8. How many piercings?: two and my ears 9. Tattoos?: nope 10. When you wake up you're: cold and tired 11. When you're about to sleep you're: awake 12. Zodiac sign: Aries/Taurus (CUSP) 13. Moon Sign: Taurus 14. Righty or Lefty: Righty 15. Innie or Outie: Innie 16. School: hell

Section Two: Looks

17. Nationality: European American 18. Hair colour: ginger in some light, brown in another lighting. 20. Weight: (uncomfortable subject) 21. Height: 5′ 11′‘ 22. Braces? Yep 23. Glasses? contacts

Section Three: Private Life

24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Nope 25. If so, who? Nobody 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? yeah 27. Who has a crush on you? some creep in my grade 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? no 29. Who was your first kiss: some guy named Jack in kindergarten 30. Who was your last kiss: no one ;( 31. Are you a virgin? yes 32. Ever had a threesome before? no 33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no 34. Have you ever been in love? yes 35. Broken any hearts? yeah that creep in my grade 36. Got your heart broken? yes 37. Ever liked a friend? yes 38. What happened? they’re either dating someone or not into girls

Section Four: Past Relationships

39. How many relationships have you been in? Two 40. How many were serious enough to count: One 41. Who were those serious ones: My friend K9 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: Some girl who I’m gonna call So 43. What made them different: They were weird like me. 44. What happened: I grew up, she didn't. 45. FRIENDSHIP Best boy/girlfriend: Dani or Aye (Not real names, none of the names are real) 46. FRIENDSHIP Worst boy/girlfriend: So or Ant 47. Ever been kissed: Yes 48. Who do you want back: Princess 49. Who do you regret: Doing so much dumb shit 50. Why?: cause it ruined me emotionally

Section Five: Favourites

51. Song: Lana Del Rey - Cherry 52. Movie: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 53. Food: Sushi 54. Drink: Blueberry Ice Tea (with honey and frozen blueberries) 55. Store: Walgreens 56. Television show: Eyewitness 57. Holiday: Samhain or Yuletide 58. Book: Witch Child 59. Ice cream: Honey Lavander 60. Sweets: Chocolate 61. Crisps: with fish 62. Type of music: indie or pop or rap 63. Artist: Lana Del Rey, Atlas, Samsa, and The 1975 64. Word: Brittle 65. Time of day: Lunch Time 66. Dressing: Vinegar 67. Alcoholic drink: Whiskey 68. Colour(s): Green and Grey 69. Piece of clothing: My Jean Jacket or Sunflower Jumer 70. Character: Sirius Black 71. Smell: Candle Smoke 72. Shampoo: Pantene 73. Soap: Rainbath 74. Smiley: The weird upside down one 75. Board game: Monopoly 76. Sport: Quidditch 77. Number: 7 78. Quote: "Everything is a choice" Tom Hiddleston 79. Animal(s): Cats, Bearded Dragons, Racoons, and Squirellles 80. Actor(s): Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, 82. Vegetable: Carrot 83. Fruit: Rambutan 84. Place to be: My room 85. Thing in your room: My altar 86. Gum: 5Gum 87. Shape: Stellated Icosahedron 88. Country: Europe 89. Mall: Outlet 90. Car: Subaru 91. Boy's name: Tobias or Montgomery 92. Girl's name: Cassiopeia or Petra 93. Family member: My mom 94. Restaurant: Red Robin 95. Movie place: Regal 96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends 97. Noise: Cats meowing 98. Brand of shoe: anything off brand 99. Brand of clothing: anything from a thrift store 100. Body part of a chicken: Boob 101. Swear word: Bitch 102. Month: April 103. Possession: My books 104. Team: Fuck sports 105. Season: Autumn 106. Radio station: 92.5 107. Magazine: Ew 108. Favourite grade: 8th 109. Least favourite grade: 6th 110. Teacher: Ms. Veraya 111. Least favourite teacher: Mr. Shipp (Mr. Shit) 112. Subject: English or Art 113. Subject to talk about: ALL

Section Six: Family

114. Who's your mum?: Noel 115. Who's your dad?: Brian 116. Any step-parents?: nopee 117. Any brothers?: Zac 118. Any Sisters?: nopers 120. Coolest: My mum 121. Loudest: my dad 122. Best relative: my mom 123. Worse relative: my cousin Marilyn 124. Do you get along with your parents? My mom yes, my dad no 125. With your siblings? ehh 126. Does anyone understand you? yeah to an extent 127. Do you have any pets?: yes 128. If so, what kind and name? 3 Cats: Button (Mister) (Fluffy Tux), Shadow (Shamu) (Short Hair Tux), and Ginger (Loki) (Tortoise Shel). 2 Dogs: Thor and Ruby, both are yellow labs, and a fuck ton of fish 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?:

Section Seven: School

131. Are you still in school? Si 132. Did you drop out?: Nah 133. Your current GPA: Probably a C average like 2.0 Idk 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: Buy 135. ABC's?: Yes 136. Favorite class: English 137. Play any sports at school?: Nahh 138. Are you popular? Noppe 139. Favourite memory: When my friend Dani hugs me (she's such a non-touchy person that when she does its like HOLY FUCC IM SO SPECIAL) 140. Most humiliating moment: A lot 141. Most funniest moment: When my friend Aiden fell on his ass while riding his Heelys 142. Most scared moment: Every. Time. I. Get. A. Test. Back

Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear

145. Chicken: Flap Flap Flap 146. Dog: Woof 147. Christina Aguilera: uh 148. Ricky Martin: whom? 149. 50 cent: No 150. Poop: ew 151. Beach: pretty 152. Desert: Sand 153. Water: Ponyo 154. Osama: Bin Laden 155. Love: need 156. Your little brother: shh 157. Butt: Booty 158. Clowns: No 159. Wonder: Imagine 16o. Brown: Earth 161. Banana: Gross 162. Sex: Mhhhmhmh 163. Parents: 1/2 164. Homosexuals: My friends 165. God: Loki

Section Nine: Do you believe in

166. God: Loki 167. Heaven: Ehhh 168. Devil: Hel 169. Hell: Helheim 170: Boogyman: ehh 171. Closet Monsters: Ghosties 172. Fortune tellings: Sure 173. Magic: Yeah 174. Love at first sight: If it happens it happens 175. Ghosts: Yes 176. Voo-doo dolls: Yes 177. Reincarnation: Yes 178. Yourself: EH

Section Ten: Do you

179. Smoke: no 180. Do drugs: once or twice 181. Drink alcohol: no 182. Cuss: YES 183. Sing in the shower: yes 184. Like school: to an extent 185. Want to get married: yes 186. Type with all of your fingers: yes 187. Think you're attractive: no and yes 188. Drink and drive: no 189. Snore: no 190. Sleepwalk: no 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes

Section Eleven: Have you ever

192. Flashed someone: yes 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: no 194. Told that person how you felt: no... 195. Been arrested: no 196. Gone to jail or Juve: no 197. Skateboarded: yes 198. Skinny dipped: no 199. Rock climbed: yes 200. Killed someone: no... 201. Watched porn: yes 202. Gone on a road trip: yes 203. Went out of the country: no 204. Talked back to an adult: yEs 205. Broken a law: yes 206. Got pulled over: no 208: Cried to get out of trouble: yes 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yes 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yes 213. Moon someone: no 214. Shop-lifted: yes 215. Worked at McDonald's: no 216. Eaten a dog: noo 217. Give money to a homeless person: yes 218. Glued your hand to yourself: yes 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yes 220. Had a one night stand: no 221. Smoked: yes 222. Done drugs: yes 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: no 224. Slap someone for being stupid: yes 225. Had cyber sex: no. 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: no 227. Caught someone doing something: yes 228. Played a game that removes clothing: yes 229. Cried during a movie: YES 230. Cried over someone: YES 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: ye 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no 233. Ran away from home: yes 234. Cheated on a test: yes

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump: HELL YEAH 236. Skydive: YES 237. Swim with dolphins: HELL FUCKIN YEAH 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: nah 239. Try to be the opposite sex: yeah 240. Lie to the police: yes 241. Run from the police: yeah 242. Lie to your parents: yes 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no 244. Be an exotic dancer: yes 245. NQ- Kill the president: Yes...

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: yes 247. Loud: yes 248. Nice: yes 249: Outgoing:. depends 250: Quiet: yes 251. Mean: yes 252. Emotional: yes 253. Sensitive: yes 254. Gay: Pan 255. Strong: yeah 256. Weak: yes 257. Caring: yes 258. Dangerous: when it need be 259. Crazy: yeah 260. Spontaneous: yes 261. Funny: yes 262. Sweet: yes 263. Sharing:. si 264. Responsible: ehhh 265. Trustworthy: yeah 266. Open-minded: yes 267. Creative: yes 268. Cute:. I hope so 269. Slick: kinda 270. Smart: yeah 271. Dumb: yeah 272. Evil: eh 273. Ghetto: kind of 274. Classy: depends on the situation 275. Photogenic: NO 276. Dependable: yeah 277. Greedy: depends on what is at hand 278. Ugly: to myself yes 279. Messy: yes 280. Neat: depends 281. Perverted: Nah 282. Silly: yea 283. A B****: yes 284. A Good Listener: yes 285. A Fighter: yes 286. A Party Animal: Nah 287. A Game Freak: Nah 288. A Computer Freak: Nah

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: writer 290. Dream house: a small cottage (if I have no kids) or an apartment 291. Husband/Wife: someone really cool, ya know nice, and not psychotic 292. Kids: 2-3 293. Names: OHH I have nameees so If I have girls I want their names to be Cassiopeia, Petra, and or Alexis, and if I have boys I want their names to be Montgomery, Tobias, and or Blake 294. Pets: Cats and or a bearded dragon 295. Car: a green Subaru 296. Age you would want to get married: like 27 or 30? 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My friend Dani 298. Honeymoon: Germany

Section Fifteen: Your friends

299. Best friend: Dani 300. Known the longest: k9 301. Craziest: Simon 302. Loudest: Simon 303. Shyest: Simon 304. Best hair: Dani 305. Best eyes: k9 306. Best body: Dani 307. Most Athletic: Dani 308. Hot-Tempered: Simon 309. Most impatient: Simon 310. Shortest: k9 311. Tallest: me (or Simon) 312. Skinniest: Dani 313. Best singer: Dani 314. Funniest: Dani 315. Can always make you laugh: Dani 316. Wish you talked to more: Dani 317. Wish you saw more: Dani 318. Who drives you insane after a while: Simon 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: Dani 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': No 321. Whose always been there when you need them: Dani or k9 322. Who is like your family: k9 323. How many friends do you have?: 8 who are kinda close 324. How many are really close? four (Dani, Simon, k9, and Kens

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: Salad 326. Thing you drank: Seltzer Water 327. Thing you wore: A 70's Sunflower jumper and leggings 328. Thing you did: typed 329. Place you went: School 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: Ears 331. Person you saw: My mom 332. Person you hugged: Dani 333. Person you kissed: No 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: noone 335. Person you talked to online: Simon 336. Person you talked to on the phone: k9 337. Song you heard: Diet MTN Dew - Lana Del Rey 338. Show you saw: Star V.S. The Forces of Evil 339. Time you fought with your parents: like yesterday 340. Time you fought with a friend: almost never 341. Words you said: fuck science

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating: air 344. What are you drinking: air 345. What are you thinking: i don't want to finish my homework 346. What are you wearing: clothes 347. What are you doing: typing 349. Hair: weird 350. Mood: eh 351. Listening to: music 352. Talking to anyone: no 353. Watching anything: music

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: i try to be pescatarian 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: no 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: sometimes 359. Do you see stupid people: yes 360. You + Me: whom 361. Do you like the Osbournes: no? 362. Can you see flying pigs: yes 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: yes 364. Are you from Afghanistan: no 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no 366. Are you a zombie: yes 367. Am I annoying you: no 368. Do you bite your nails: yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: yes 371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer: Summer 373. Spring or Autumn: Spring 374. Shakira or Britney: Shakira 375. MTV or VH1: ???? 376. Black or White: Black 377. Yellow or Pink: Yellow 378. Football or Basketball: Football 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: Phone 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Cold 382. Tattoos or Piercings: Tattoos 383. Inside or Outside: Outside 384. Weed or Alcohol: Weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: Both 386. Tape or Glue: Glue 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: In-n-Out

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: okay 389. About boy bands: sure 390. About suicide: please try and get help 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: fuk off 392. About teen pregnancy: stop 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: dead? 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends within 5 years: Dani or Kens 395. About gay men: queens

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: no 397. Current weather right now: rain 398. Current time: 8:50 pm 399. Any shout outs: @flower-in-the-ashes 400. Last thoughts: help me

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