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psychicwavementality · 1 day

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🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!

I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.

Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.

Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.

Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.

So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.

Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭

Anyway.

In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:

Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—

...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?

why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M

Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:

Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection

O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?

Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)

Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)

To (飛) – Fly or Flight

Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon

Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya

- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible

- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*

*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.

1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'

Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.

If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???

Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.

Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!

However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.

Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.

There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.

From Wikipedia:

洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉，在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」，英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外，也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉，甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊（Cercis chinensis）的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別，但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3]，引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。

(Edited MTL):

As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.

The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.

There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).

(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)

2. What does this mean for Suo?

The Lack of '洋 (yang)':

(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)

Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.

In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.

Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.

Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:

There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.

On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.

Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.

Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.

On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)

Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).

Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.

OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.

3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana

In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:

3、倔强坚强

紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强，紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑，就算在阴雨天气，叶片被大风所吹动，不断摇慎态摆，也不会掉落，好似一位倔强的人，永远不会向困难低头，努力拼搏，最终收获成功。

(Edited MTL):

3. Stubborn and strong

The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.

It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:

紫荊花的象徵意義紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。在中國傳統文化中，紫荊花還被視為春天的使者，寓意著新生命和新的希望。

(Edited MTL)

The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.

Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:

Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.

They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?

Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...

Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋（すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.

While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.

Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.

The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.

From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.

Bauhinia kappleri:

Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.

Bauhinia acuminata:

The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.

Bauhinia variegata:

1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.

2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.

Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:

在中國文化中，紫色常代表高貴與權力，而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。此外，洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮，這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。

(Edited MTL)

In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.

I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?

Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕

It's all coming together...

The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟：

This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪

原文/Original:

京兆田真兄弟三人，共议分财。生资皆平均，唯堂前一株紫荆树，共议欲破三片。翌日就截之，其树即枯死，状如火然。真往见之，大愕，谓诸弟曰：“树本同株，闻将分斫，固憔悴，是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜，不复解树。树应声荣茂，兄弟相感，遂和睦如初。

註釋/Glossary

（1）京兆：京城地區。

（2）生資：生活資料。

（3）皆：都。

（4）唯：只有。

（5）破：使之破為。

（6）就：開始。

（7）即：立即；立刻。

（8）狀：形狀；狀態。

（9）然：通假字，同“燃”，燃燒。

（10）翌日：第二天

（11）愕：驚訝。

（12）諸：眾；

（13）斫（zhuó）：砍。

（14）勝：承受；控制。

（15）憔悴：枯死。

（16）故：所以。

（17）解：分解。

（18）其：他家的。

（19）堂：門。

（20）株：棵。

（21）遂：於是。

句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:

1、翌日就截之：第二天就準備截斷它。

2、狀如火然：形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。

3、樹木同株，聞將分斫，故憔悴，是人不如木也：樹本來是同根的，聽到要砍斷分開，所以枯死了，我們人都不如樹木。

4、樹應聲榮茂：紫荊樹聽到（田真的）話後（立刻）枝葉繁茂（了起來）。

My attempt at an English TL:

In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."

Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.

From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:

Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.

Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.

Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.

OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.

Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.

Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」， you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」

This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.

In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.

Suo and Sappanwood:

Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.

The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.

The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.

Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.

This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...

That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?

4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃

Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).

Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.

Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)

"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man

"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)

"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?

"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.

"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...

"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.

To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!

What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.

The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia

Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.

What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:

Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.

If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.

"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).

"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.

"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.

[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]

"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."

Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.

I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.

The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:

Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山丁子) = rabbit

Togame Jo (十亀条) = tortoise

Sako Kouta (佐狐浩太) = fox

Arima Yukinari (有馬雪成) = horse

Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫

(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)

Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).

Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.

*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh

Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.

Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.

(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)

The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.

It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.

(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)

I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.

Here's some prominent stuff I found:

Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!

Thus Spoke Zarathustra:

An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]

“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.

This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:

It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.

There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:

People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.

From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):

Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.

I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.

Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.

From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.

It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:

I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.

This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:

This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.

And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:

[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.

Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)

5. Final Closing Notes on Suo

So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?

... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.

Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)

u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣，相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.

Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?

Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):

I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg

My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.

6. I Lied

Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.

So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:

AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke

This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端！

...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?

(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.

I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.

Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭

CLASSICAL CHINESE 101

仁：This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷，尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' （君子）in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.

義：this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.

禮：this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.

智：this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.

信：this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.

(Additional) 孝：this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.

To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."

But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.

There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):

惻隱之心：read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.

是非之心：read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.

羞惡之心：read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).

辭讓之心：read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.

There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends

Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:

(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy

(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.

(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.

(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ)，whereas yì is your outward action.

(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.

So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?

(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.

If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).

When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.

You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")

Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:

5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.

^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?

It doesn't end here though...!!!

KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?

What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'

(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)

This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.

Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.

It's still not over though!

Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:

"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment

How self-centered:

顏淵問仁。子曰：「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮，天下歸仁焉。為仁由己，而由人乎哉？」 [1] 顏淵曰：「請問其目。」子曰：「非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰：「回雖不敏，請事斯語矣。」（《顏淵》第十二）

(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)

[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"

[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."

Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.

To teach others [...]:

"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"

"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]

Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...

Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.

Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"

(He's pissed.)

Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.

And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).

For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.

Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:

子曰：「君子病無能焉，不病人之不己知也。」（《衞靈公》第十五）

“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”

子曰：「君子不重則不威；學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改。」（《學而》第一）

"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."

Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"

"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.

From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.

There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:

“魚，我所欲也，熊掌，亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼，舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也，義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼，舍生而取義者也。

"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.

生亦我所欲，所欲有甚於生者，故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡，所惡有甚於死者，故患有所不辟也。如使人之所欲莫甚於生，則凡可以得生者，何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者，則凡可以辟患者，何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也，由是則可以辟患而有不為也，是故所欲有甚於生者，所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也，人皆有之，賢者能勿喪耳。

Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.

Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.

一簞食，一豆羹，得之則生，弗得則死。

A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.

嘑爾而與之，行道之人弗受;蹴爾而與之，乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。

Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.

萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不受，今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為所識窮乏者得我而為之，是亦不可以已乎?此之謂失其本心。"

What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."

A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.

It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.

To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.

But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.

Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.

Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).

Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)

A possible timeline:

-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.

-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona

-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)

-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them

-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.

...

And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.

It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.

What's up next in Part 2?

I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.

I'll be back in 1 business century!

(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:

Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef

Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS

Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun

Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...

Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc

Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent

Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)

Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)

Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur

Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU

"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024

Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up

Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn

Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎

—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3：57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.

"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024

The Suo Post's TLDR:

"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"

—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.

(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)

#wbk #wind breaker #wind breaker theory #suo hayato #more suo chinkposting #endo yamato #sakura haruka #THE suo chinkpost #we staying in 青山醫院 with this one 🔥🔥🗣️#feel free to quote and/or refer to this post in any future theories you make with credit!#part 2 coming near you in cinemas on ??/??#PLEASEEE reblog or add your afterthoughts/extra ideas if you enjoyed it #i poured blood sweat and DSE chinese notes into this #i also shat tears but that's irrelevant

39 notes · View notes

shae-mermaid · 4 months

Text

You Are A Queen, Part 6 (FINALE)!!!!!!

PART 1! | PART 2!! | PART 3!!! | PART 4!!!! | PART 5!!!!!

A/N: WOO!!! IT'S FINALLY FINISHED!!! As voted on by my readers, this one ends with another song! Hopefully you guys like this song selection, cause I SURE DO :'D (Song was written by Caleb Hyles on YouTube btw, if y'all wanna check out his other stuff. His voice is truly amazing!) Anyways, enjoy! <3

PART 6 (FINALE)!!!!!!

It had been about a week since you had seen Lucifer in person. Sure, he would send you the occasional text, usually just selfies of him with his fellow sins at a meeting or something. You quite enjoyed seeing his and Asmodeus’s silly poses and antics together. But you were really starting to miss the king. It was too the point that you started getting paranoid that you had scared him off. Or bored him off. Stop it, brain! But you just couldn’t. Those self-deprecating thoughts always came back to your mind with a vengeance.

One afternoon, Charlie had invited you to hang out with her and Vaggie in their room. You were sitting on the ground, petting Keekee while she rubbed her face against your hand and purred up a storm. You had a soft frown on your face, looking down at the purring cyclops-cat. You had gone a bit spiral-y, to be honest. But, as always, you kept quiet about it.

That is, until Charlie noticed. She looks down at you, concerned. “...Anything wrong, Y/n?”

Maybe, you thought. “It’s nothing important, Charlie. I’ll get over it eventually.

“Well… okay, but just to make sure you know, you can tell us anything, if you need to talk. It might help to vent.” Vaggie put a hand on Charlie’s knee, giving her a soft smile before looking back at you.

You accept defeat, and sigh. “It’s just… I haven’t heard from Lucifer in a while. I thought we were friends, but now I barely get so much as a text from him. I know I’m probably being paranoid, but I just have this nagging feeling like… like he’s bored with me, or something.

Vaggie chuckled a little bit, and sat beside you, joining you in petting Keekee. “Yeah, just a bit.”

“Vaggie!” exclaimed Charlie, giving a teasingly miffed look to her girlfriend. Vaggie couldn’t help but giggle a little, knowing she wasn’t being serious.

“...Okay, maybe just a teeny tiny bit,” Charlie added on. “But, I have an idea about what you’re feeling,” she says while joining you both on the floor, making a semi-circle.

Charlie reached down, and gave Keekee some belly-rubs while she slept peacefully on the floor. “I know it’s hard, but try not to worry so much. My dad can get really busy with his job sometimes. He is the king of Hell, after all… Besides, he’s definitely not the type to just up and ghost someone! Especially someone he’s so bonded to!”

You look up at Charlie, for once looking her in the eyes. It’s always been hard for you to do that consistently. “...You really think so?:

Charlie smiles reassuringly back at you. “Oh, I know so. My dad’s been so much happier than he has been in literally years, and it seemed to start when you came to the hotel. And, he brings you up a lot,” she adds, her grin growing wider (even for her).

You blush slightly, smirking towards the floor. “Thanks, Charlie. I hope you’re right.”

Charlie and Vaggie gave you a little group hug, while you all stood up and walked back towards your room.

A couple of hours go by, while you’ve been quietly crocheting in your room (a little Fat Nuggets, small enough to be a key charm for Angel), and suddenly, you jumped from the sound of your phone vibrating on your nightstand. You let out a sigh to calm yourself, and grab your phone, to see that you had gotten a text from Lucifer.

‘Hey, Siren! Did you wanna meet me up in my suite? It’s been a while, and I figured we could hang out somewhere other than your room for once! =)’

You chuckled to yourself, smirking down at your phone screen. You texted a quick ‘Be there in a bit!’, put your latest project down and headed out your door, mind racing with both excitement and anxiousness.

Once you got up the last flight of stairs, your mind is spinning with sudden panic. You force yourself to stop for a minute or two, making yourself focus on taking deep breaths. It’ll be okay, you tell yourself. But you just couldn’t shake that something about this time was… different.

When you got to his front door, you heard something you wouldn’t normally have heard inside a hotel room. …Ducks? I mean, not unusual at all for him, but inside his room??

You knocked on the door. “Lucifer??” you shouted.

“It’s unlocked! Come on in!” you get a response back from a familiar voice.

You slowly opened the door, feeling weird about just walking into someone else’s space, but you froze in your spot. “Why am I heari- ?!”

You saw a portal in the middle of his living room, leading to some sort of…beautiful garden! With a pond! And ducks! DUCKIES!! You squeal internally.

You step over the portal threshold, eager to get as close to the ducks as possible, but you feel a tap on your shoulder, which makes you freeze again, like a deer in the headlights.

“Oh! Sorry! I keep forgetting you get a little jumpy,” you hear in a low tone, with an almost flirtatious chuckle.

“Oh! Lucifer! It’s ok, I-,” you start as you turn around, you see Lucifer dressed especially handsomely today, in a black with red pinstripe dress shirt that’s partially unbuttoned at the top, and tight black slacks. Not only that, but you see that he had laid out a little picnic for you both, on top of a quilted blanket with ducks all along the hem.

“What’s all this for?” you ask Lucifer, a hint of excitement and curiosity evident in your tone.

Lucifer blushed a tiny bit. “Oh, you know, I just thought it would be a nice change of pace from our normal little hangout routine… Plus, I’ve been meaning to show you my private garden for a while now,” He added, with a proud smirk and a slight puff of his chest.

It was your turn to blush, raising your eyebrows in response. “Oh, wow! I shouldn’t have been so surprised, then,” you say as you look around at all the colorful flowers, trees, and the pond. “It’s beautiful…”

“Yes…,” Lucifer stopped himself just in time before he could let out a ‘You are,’ and instead said “It’s my pride and joy. Well, besides Charlie, of course. I like coming here to think.”

“And it’s not at all related to the little feathery friends over there?” you question, playfully.

“...Okay, they’re a bonus,” Lucifer answered as he looked away, getting a little shy whenever he saw your beautiful, sweet smile. “But they’re not the only reason!” he retorted.

You chuckle and smile wider. “It’s okay, I get it. I’d hang out here all the time, too.”

Lucifer tried to relax his tense shoulders for a second. “Anyway, shall we?” He gestures towards the little picnic setup, offering you his other hand.

You responded with a “Yes, let’s,” as you took his hand and sat beside him, knees brushing up against each other.

Conversation flowed easily, as you both ate, and walked around the little pond, feeding the ducks some leftover bread crumbs and some feed Lucifer had left by the pond for this exact purpose. One got close enough that you knelt down, trying to convince it to eat out of your hand. It did so enthusiastically, making you giggle from the tickle of its bill against your palm.

You weren’t paying attention to him at that moment, and didn’t notice how Lucifer was looking down at you, a soft, blushing smile across his face. Your laugh was adorable, and almost as addicting as your singing. Almost.

You finally stand back up. “I could get so much inspiration here.”

Lucifer chuckled a bit in response. “Yeah, it’s nice for getting inspiration to write.”

“You write?? What sort of writing?” You ask, surprised. You didn’t think he’d have the time to do more than just writing for his work.

“Oh, y’know, mostly… songs I write here and there, when I have the time,” he says, trying not to sound like he’s bragging.

Your eyes grow a little wider. “Really? Well, if you’re ever willing to perform one, I’d love to hear it. Maybe I can help you out with the lyrics or something?”

Lucifer chuckles, blushing again. “Actually… I kind of have a song that I was… hoping you’d wanna check out?” He asks, looking to the ground, then back up to your shimmering eyes.

“Oh! Uh.. okay,” you answer, trying to contain your excitement. You had never heard Lucifer sing, but Charlie had told you that he has an amazing voice! “Sounds great!”

Lucifer smiled wider at you, took your hand and led you to a nearby sun room, connected to his manor. Inside, you saw a collection of his instruments, with his violin being the only one not hanging, instead sitting on a little stand in front of possibly the most beautiful piano you had ever seen! An all white full sized grand piano, with carved gold filigree on the legs, music stand, and matching bench. “I love your taste in pianos!”

Lucifer laughed wholeheartedly. “Thanks. I made it!” He claimed proudly, with another small puff of his chest. “It’s enchanted, so it plays by itself. All you have to do is think of the song you want, then touch the piano, and…,” he touches the side wall, and the piano keys start moving, as if an invisible pianist was swiping their hand on every key, from lowest to highest. “Voila!”

Your grin grew very wide, and your stomach fluttered, as the ivories tickled themselves. The sound of a piano was something that was extremely nostalgic for you, reminding you of when your mother would practice for church, and when your dad would sometimes be tuning the baby grand your family owned. You close your eyes and sigh, “I’ve missed that sound.”

“You did tell me that your parents were musicians, but you never told me what they played?” Lucifer questioned.

“Well, technically, my mother was the pianist for our… local church. My dad knew how to play, but by profession, he tuned and rebuilt them. So, once I finally moved out, a home just… never felt quite like home without the sound of a piano being played.” Thinking about it makes you sigh again, only with sadness. Your mother passed away a few years before you wound up in Hell, and the sound of a piano being played, while enjoyable, after her, became a bit bittersweet. You had only just stopped crying whenever a church hymn was played around you, right before taking your journey here.

“... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something that was painful for you,” Lucifer put his hand on your shoulder, a concerned expression on his face.

“No, no, it’s okay,” you replied with a bit of a reflective smile. “If all those roads led to here, then I have no regrets,” you said, as you looked in Lucifer’s eyes with a half-lidded smile.

Lucifer felt his heartbeat going faster from that look, swiftly hiding yet another blush by turning his head and walking over to the piano. “Sorry if I sound a bit nervous. I had never played this song for anyone before, and it’s kind of… personal…”

“Oh, trust me, I understand,” you replied with a sweet, reassuring tone and a bit of a chuckle. “But you know me. I won’t bite. In fact, I can close my eyes and face away if you feel more comfortable with that,” you offer with a caring grin.

Lucifer chuckled softly back. “Nah, that’s okay. I like being able to see your reaction. Thank you, though.” He let out a deep sigh. “Well, ready?”

You sat down on a small bench against the wall close by. “Ready!”

Lucifer grins, and lifts up his violin to his chin, while touching the piano at the same time, never breaking eye contact with you until a few measures into the introduction of the song, when his violin part kicked in. The way he played along with the reverb of both his instruments instantaneously gave you goosebumps, all throughout your body.

“I was told that heaven's never too far gone

I was told my soul was meant to sing a song

But as I tarried through life

I learned that that was not quite so.”

You couldn’t help but sigh with him at that part. You related to that, at least, in a bit more of a literal sense.

“Through right and wrong and perpetual sin

Forever bound to struggle from within

Was I sold a lie? Because if heaven are these people

Then I don't want to sing their song…”

Lucifer closed his eyes at this point, lowering his volume for the dip in the song flow.

“But grace, how sweet it sounds

Claimed and loved for nothing,

Redeemed, was lost, now found…”

“Can I hope? Can I change?

Can I erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, but I'll never be the same…!”

You open your eyes again, feeling another wave of chills. Charlie definitely undersold her dad’s singing capability, you thought. You saw Lucifer take a peak at you for a second, as he continued on.

“I was told that heaven's streets were paved with gold

I was told that I would never walk alone

But my hands and feet are bloodied

And no one wants a sinner's lot.”

You look Lucifer in the eyes empathetically, wanting to go up and hug him, but you resist and go back to listening.

“If man cannot forgive what I have done

And man was made from who is up above

Then why give us a choice?

You know that I will lose control…!”

Suddenly, you see a cloud of enchanted smoke form above the piano, showing silhouettes of Charlie, Vaggie, and…you?!

“But grace, it holds my hand,

And tells me I am worthy to love

And not hold back…”

The image of you slowly turns to the side, with a silhouette of Lucifer stepping in from the left, holding imaginary-you in his arms. Your eyes and smile slowly widen, feeling yourself welling up with tears, but trying desperately to keep control of yourself for a little longer.

“Can I hope? Can I change?

Can I erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, but I'll never…!”

You see imaginary Charlie and Vaggie’s silhouettes join Lucifer’s and yours, in a little group-side-hug, as you and Lucifer turn your heads to face each other, and… KISS?!

"Can you love? Can you change?

Can you erase a past that has caused so much pain?

Wash it clean, white as snow

Surely there's hell to pay, in this cage I won't stay

'Fore my soul's cast away, and I'll never…

…Be the same.”

You saw your imaginary-selves sitting and watching the sunset, as the enchanted cloud slowly dissipates into nothing. You lowered your gaze to see Lucifer, looking down with a tear streaming down his cheek. He slowly looks up and over to you, with an almost pleading expression.

“... Well?...,” he quietly lets out, with a sniffle.

All those waves of emotion come crashing over you all at once, as you start to quietly clap, tears streaming down your face as well. You get up and walk over to Lucifer, and give him a very strong hug, burying your face in his shoulder. “... Are you saying what I think you’re saying, or is it just wishful thinking?... Was all this really…?,” you let out, your cracked voice muffled by his shirt and your own sobs.

Lucifer wraps one arm around your waist, while his other hand lifts your face to him, gazing at you with half-lidded eyes, and oozing adoration. “Y/n, I know it might be hard, but would you maybe consider…giving me the honor of… being your boyfriend?..,” he says softly, still crying a little.

You start to sob even harder, holding onto the back of his shirt with a tight fist. “Yes… I can’t believe this is really happening, Yes!!” you exclaim.

Lucifer hugs you back, sobbing harder now as well. “..A-are you sure?... Y-you might have to be in the s-spotlight sometimes, i-if you’re with me…”

You look up at Lucifer with just as much adoration in your eyes, as you wrap your arms around his neck, and he holds your cheek. You lean into his palm, as you say “Absolutely. It’s worth it…,” Another tear streams down your face. “... You’re worth it, Lucifer Morningstar.”

Lucifer lets out another sob, while wiping your stray tear away with his thumb. You start giggling through all of the tears, which was apparently infectious, because Lucifer started to join you, hugging you back tightly and shaking your bodies around in excitement. Once you both calm down, he holds your face again and adds “You are worth it too, my beautiful Siren. And I’m going to keep reminding you of that, every minute of every day, for as long as you’ll have me…” he lets his gaze shift between your lips, and back to your eyes. “M-may I…?”

Your smile grows wide enough that it starts to make your cheeks ache. You slowly pull his face closer to you by the neck, letting your lips crash into each other passionately at the last second. You grip the nape of his neck, while he very slowly rubs his hands up and down the curves of your waist, savoring this moment. His lips were sweet, soft, and…so intoxicating.

You both felt like you were finally home, in each other’s arms.

Fin

A/N: YAY!! I'm happy with how this all turned out! I'm a little sad that it's done, though. I feel like an avid reader that just finished a series they got -super- engrossed in, like "What do I do with myself now?" You know? I got a LOT of inspiration just from having Caleb Hyles's song stuck in my head for -weeks- now. Not that I'm complaining. It's gorgeous! I'm just happy this final chapter came out of my obsession. @u@ I also got a bit of inspiration for the enchanted smoke scene by watching Btoon's animatic based on the song (THANKS FOR MAKING ME HAPPY-CRY DUDE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL)! Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this ride-along with me and possibly my -biggest- hyper fixation in my life thus far! Please let me know what you thought about it in the comments! I haven't gotten very many, and I'd really like some more, at least now that it's done. ^u^'

~Shae <3

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #fluff #lucifer morningstar #fem!reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin lucifer x reader #plus sized reader #sorry not sorry #songfic #songfic hazbin hotel

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cult-of-the-eye · 5 months

Note

( this is on the post of the list of The Fears from scariest to least scary)

please tell me your thoughts about The Fears

1. To me the corruption is the scariest cause wdym there's something inside me slowly rotting me inside to out and there's nothing I can do about it apart from let it take me and it hurts and there's no known cure (btw I am deathly afraid of getting cancer)

2. Flesh isn't as scary as corruption cause like it could be removed from the idea of life, we used to go to the Bangladeshi butchers and watch then cut slabs of frozen fish using their huge machines and shit but also gore and body horror kinda terrifies me, it goes hand in hand with medical horror, like someone's been sliced in half and you realise just how fragile human life is, how at the end we're just organs that are pumping blood and moving chemicals around.

3. Slaughter is less scary than the others cause it could be comforting being killed as a collective but also the theme of death continues, the idea of masses of bodies is so very human in it's causes and consequences and doesn't feel so fictional

4. Buried is less scary than the others cause it's less about death but listen. my entire life I've been terrified that I'm just gonna get stuck somewhere. Like I once couldn't get a churi (bracelet) off my wrist and I got so panicked I just smashed my wrist against a wall to break it off. So yah.

5. The stranger is less scary than the buried cause I could run away from the stranger but the idea that this person I know is not at all who I thought they were is bone chilling. It feels like betrayal at its core.

6. Dark is less scary than the stranger cause over the years I've gotten slightly less scared of the dark but I've gotten more scared of people not being who I thought they were. The dark is comforting, it's a sensory neutral and a life saver on some days. Other days i sprint up the stairs cause I'm scared the murderers hiding in the cupboards will stab me.

7. Mmm now that I think about it I'd probably put web a little higher cause I despise the idea of being manipulated, like don't fucking do that to me, if you want something just fucking ask. But maybe I was right to put it here cause it mostly just makes me irritated than scared.

8. This is the mm kinda chill territory I think cause spiral is just how I spend my life, my brain is not a fun place to be so yeah I'd enjoy being the incarnation of indescribable for the rest of my existence but also the idea of losing my control over myself is a little scary despite my having so much experience in it

9. The eye is ok, I feel some comfort in being watched over, never been left alone, constantly needing information like I get it, I was an autistic 7 year old gorging myself on horrible histories once. But also like if eyes started growing on me I'd start screaming and never stop but I think that's more body horror than beholding

10. The vast is so fucking comforting like the idea that I could just be inconsequential in the face of everything, I could maybe just relax and float in the nothingness for a while. But then also I'm scared of drowning so like I'm bringing arm bands

11. Everything ends. I'm good with consistency and the idea that everything ends makes me feel like there's something to keep going for. I'm not good with endings but what comes after, I am extremely skilled at.

12. I adore the desolation. Oh how I've fantasised about giving it all up, watching it burn before me, the cruel satisfaction in it. I like how quiet everything is after it's been destroyed. A clean slate.

13. Yeah so I have re occurring dreams about being hunted. I think it's half the idea about being wanted enough for someone to pursue me if I run but also the comfort of survival mode. The comfort of knowing the fight won't ever end.

14. The lonely. Oh man. Let's just say I'm on 40mg of fluoxetine for a reason.

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its-that-kattt · 2 months

Text

My current hyper fixation is this shit show from the Syfy channel ToT (more under cut)

(some spoilers ahead btw)

Watching Lexx is like going to a amusement park for, what thay advertise as, "the most violent roller coaster in the world". And yeah it's great in the first half, got the whole death coaster spiral with maximum velocity and everything, but then it zooms out to a flat track with a couple bumps in it for like 10 miles and your done.

I reeeally like the first season, it tells a great story and ties everything up into a nice little bow with enough wiggle room to continue the story by the end... and by season 2 everything that was good about the first season was not only thrown out the window, but shitted on and fed to rabid dogs that hate gay people

As someone who really likes old media I've had to be prepared for very out of date vocabulary and morals to just be thrown around occasionally and usually the overall story is good enough for me to wave it off as 'old media being old media' , unfortunately for Lexx it's combined lackluster writing (especially in later episodes) and overt homophobia / sexism makes it really hard to watch and enjoy , it's gone from a fun watch that needs a little inebriation to fully enjoy to hair pullingly frustrating

They introduce so many interesting concepts and characters that, 9 times outta 10, are literally blown up never to be seen again! And buddy I neeed side characters to get unhealthily attached to !! How am I supposed to be invested in this story if I can't look forward to possibly seeing Bimnie #3 in the next episode or a recurring minor villain that's more of a nuisance than a threat 😭😭😭

It sucks because idk if I'll ever watch it all, but sometimes you gotta choose happiness and peace of mind instead of having bragging rights of watching a "classic" all the way through

Anyway this show got me upset enough to want to rewrite the whole thing so enjoy some of my 790 redesigns and keep a eye out for updates cus this will probably be my next big project (at least until I find something else to obsess over lol)

(For those not in the know, 790 is usually just a head, which is funny for the first couple episodes, but if I have to deal with a comic relief character for more then a couple episodes they better start pulling their fucking weight with more than just "funny" quips [he is not funny]. So he gets the return to Oz treatment now)

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wc-rarepairs · 6 months

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ohmygod this blog is just amazing! thank you for doing a post about WoodWhistle!!! (I'm the one running daily whis btw, just so you're not confused about this rando gushing about the two WindClan sillies)

rarepairs are truly a thing I adore too (I love random yuri and will never stop creating random ships), but I'll try to not request too much, but could you maybe do a little post about sedgewhisker x petalfur? They've even got canon interactions lol, in The Fourth Apprentice's Beaver Quest. I just like both of these girls and thus decided to get them together.

(tysm! I'm so glad you liked my post about WoodWhistle, I too love those sillies <3 also sorry for not posting this earlier!!!!!!!!!! I was SUPER busy with moving to a new house and school :p)

(also sorry if this is a LONG one!!)

#2: Petalfur x Sedgewhisker

So, Petal and Sedge were very hostile towards each other before the journey. Sedgewhisker especially. They've hated each other since first meeting when they were both on a border patrol.

So imagine their surprise when they meet with the others chosen to be on the journey... and see each other just standing awkwardly among the others.

Sedgewhisker was not happy.

But they continued on regardless, they had no time for petty squabbles and such, after all!

anyways, in the middle of the night, while the others were asleep, Sedgewhisker sits down and looks up at the moon. She cannot handle what was going on in WindClan after the reveal in the gathering. All her clanmates can only ever talk about Crowfeather, Nightcloud, Leafpool....

She jumps, Petalfur had woken up and had left the makeshift den. Sedgewhisker narrows her eyes, she didn't have time to argue with the molly right now.

But instead... Petalfur joins her, sitting down beside her.

Sedgewhisker suddenly feels awkward. She didn't expect that to happen.

Petalfur reluctantly asks how Sedgewhisker was doing in WindClan, and Sedge answers with, of course, a lie.

"Are you sure?" Petalfur replies. "I thought that after that whole... Thing... back at the gathering, things would be awkward.

Sedgewhisker sighs, whipping her head to look at Petalfur. "Why do you suddenly care?"

Petalfur looks taken aback. "I...I want to put this petty rivalry behind us." She confesses. "I don't want to argue, or cause a spat." Her eyes light up as the moonlight illuminates her pelt, "how 'bout a truce?"

So after she accepts, in the morning they start talking more during the journey. They considered themselves acquaintances for the whole journey!

So timeskip; after the whole Rippletail fiasco, Petalfur is distant and sad. Sedgewhisker tries to talk with her, but Petalfur either only replies with a nod, a shake of her head, or doesn't respond at all.

When they return, everyone bids a farewell. They leave, going back to their territories, except for Sedgewhisker and Petalfur.

Sedgewhisker asks if she could walk her friend home, and Petalfur reluctantly declines. Sedgewhisker is... sort of hurt, but she understands. Her friend needs time to grieve, after all.... But Petalfur asks if they could meet up at the next gathering (if she was ever chosen to go), and Sedgewhisker tells her she would see her there.

So they meet up at the gathering, and they keep meeting up after that. It got so bad to the point of them sneaking out just so they could be with their friend.

Sedgewhisker is the first one to confess, but it was just in the middle of one of her long rambles. She quickly shuts up once she realizes what she did, and her mind spirals into a state of panic. She cannot look at Petal anymore, she felt so embarrassed and horrified.

So... she runs away, back to her camp. She can't disobey the code, she can't be around Petalfur anymore.

(Timeskip) during the next gathering, Sedgewhisker notices Petalfur & Dovepaw chattering and talking.

Sedgewhisker felt so angry, embarrased, and horrified when Petalfur called her over, & she was angry at Dovepaw for sneaking into WC territory... so she turns away, padding over to her clanmates that were huddled around the corner of the island.

When Sedgewhisker reluctantly turned to look back at Petalfur, she felt a pang of guilt and sadness when the molly looked hurt. But she didn't apologize. She just hesitantly turned back to share tongues with some of her friends.

After that whole ordeal, Petalfur & Sedgewhisker avoided each other. They didn't want to be around the other anymore. Petalfur tried to make herself distracted by hanging out with her friend Mallownose, but she just couldn't stop thinking about Sedgewhisker... Petalfur wanted to tell her that she loved her too, but how could she if they were avoiding each other?

(Another timeskip (Like... inbetween NW and SOtM) Sedgewhisker couldn't hold it in anymore, so in the next gathering, she apologizes to Petalfur.

Petalfur forgives her, and asked her if she really meant it when she confessed that she loved her in that way.

Sedgewhisker admits that she does, trying to apologize again for that, but instead of Petalfur getting mad at her---she confesses back!

So they talk more often and meet up a lot. They loved spending time together, especially when they were gfs!!

But during AVoS... Tragedy struck. Petalfur was killed by one of Darktail's followers, & when Sedgewhisker hears about the news, she let out a loud cry of anguish and grief, running away from the island.

She didn't care if she caused a scene. She didn't care if she was trespassing clan territory; she just wanted to see Petalfur one... last... time...

Sedgewhisker stops at her grave, which was for some reason located somewhere in ThunderClan territory.

She recognized her scent. The scent of fresh-water & daisies. She let out a sob, sitting by Petalfur's grave.

She was punished for trespassing and causing a scene, but she didn't care. She didn't care about any of that. She just wanted to see Petalfur back.

It took two arcs (AVoS and TBC) to make her move on from her lovers' death, but she was doing fine during ASC. She still misses Petalfur, but she knows that Petal wouldn't want her to grieve and hurt herself forever.

Headcannons

Petalfur occasionally gives Sedgewhisker beautiful gifts (e.g. Shells, Fish, Scales, etc.)

Sedgewhisker sometimes races with Petalfur

Petalfur taught her how to swim & hunt fish :)

Sedgewhisker secretly left her own flower on Petal's grave, disguising it with RiverClan scent to make it seem like one of their cats left it there

Not exactly a headcannon but Sedgewhisker and Emberfoot aren't mates in this AU!! They are just friends (the same kinda goes for Petalfur?? Except Mallownose actually had a crush on her)

Sedgewhisker and Petalfur occasionally tease each other about their rivalry

#wc #warriors #petalfur #sedgewhisker #petalfur wc #sedgewhisker wc #wc sedgewhisker #wc petalfur #rarepair #wc rarepair #wc rarepairs

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mondscheinprinzessin · 9 months

Text

Soulmate shorts pt. 2

Written for @another-sun christmas event <3

another short Aleksi/Joel/Joonas soulmate installment for the long waiting time you guys have to endure

the timeline doesn't matter here at all btw

Sprinkling in a little hurt/comfort because of course, it's me, and I hope you enjoy😊

It only needed one look towards Joel for Joonas to know something was up. They hadn’t seen each other for most of the day after Joel and Niko had gone off to the radio station for another interview and the rest of the band was left alone in the studio under Aleksi’s supervision.

But the first step Joel took into the studio made it clear he wasn’t alright, and it wasn’t only Joonas who noticed; Aleksi shot him a worried look, well adjusted to every sign by now that one of them needed a little more support.

Now wasn’t the right time though to do an intervention and they settled with keeping an eye on their partner for now.

And it wasn’t a coincidence that today they finished earlier, producing a small lie to the others, so they could head home a little earlier than usual. It wasn’t easy anyways to concentrate while aware their soulmate was struggling. Joonas could swear his soulmark was itching but did his best not to act upon it, not wanting to further worry Joel in return.

Instead they drove home, Joonas and Aleksi kept on their toes since they knew a direct approach has never worked with Joel. It felt more offensive for Joel to discover that his mood was troubling his partners, so much so that he would rather keep shut and pretend a little longer he was fine.

Joonas didn’t want to think about how similar Aleksi and Joel were in that matter. Different story, same ending. And it hurt none the less when Joonas experienced it second-hand.

But to their surprise Joel didn’t mind showing off his gloominess in fullness. Not even in the dramatic way that liked to come forward when it wasn’t much of a concern, and he was more annoyed than truly upset.

No, as soon as they entered their flat Joel strode towards the couch and lay down, a pillow under his head, and his long hair didn’t even attempt to hide his glistening eyes.

The picture did its best to break Joonas’ heart, and he and Aleksi quickly discarded their stuff so they could join. While Aleksi took a seat at the end of the couch, picking up Joel’s feet to put them on his lap, and running a soothing hand over his legs, Joonas cautiously sat down at Joel’s head.

Another hand ran a comforting path along Joel’s body, loosening knots in his hair, and warming the skin on his neck. His face was already hot and red and Joonas could hear the sniffles that Joel couldn’t suppress.

“’m sorry.”

“What should you be sorry for?” Aleksi asked first.

“Everything?”

So Joel didn’t even know if he had done anything wrong with them, apologizing first and gauging their reaction to see if any criticism was following.

“There’s nothing coming to my mind.” Joonas calmed him down. “We just want to know what’s up.”

Joel swallowed, obviously fighting with himself. But they gave him the time.

“I fucked up after the interview.” He finally said. “The guy was rude and I couldn’t help myself. What if we will never be invited by them again? I fucked up this chance for us and now we never get to play our songs there and no one will hear us.”

Evidently they were already deep in the spiralling phase, producing disaster scenario after disaster scenario, not being able to see the truth right in front of his face.

Joonas, the ever-logical mind among them said, “I’m sure that if you had been really disrespectful, they would have given management a call already, but we didn’t hear from them all day, so I’m sure it’s fine. They will air the interview, and they’re not the only two people deciding about the music on their channel. Regardless there’s more than one radio station out there. Don’t forget you’re visiting Rock Antenne next month!” He tried to cheer him up.

To his satisfaction he could hear Joel chuckle and giving a little acknowledgment in return.

“I will never be like Niko though.” The negativity outwon in his mind. “He always keeps so calm and professional.”

“Good.” Aleksi answered. “Because we don’t need another Niko. What do we need two rappers for?” He tried to break up the mood and smiled audibly.

“Exactly.” Joonas joined. “We love you because you’re you in case you haven’t noticed yet.” Joonas flicked a finger against Joel’s nose to get him out of his head. “If Niko was so special, he would have our soulmark, but he doesn’t, because you belong to us, and we love you, and you’re great. Yes, you can fuck up at times, but all of us do. You don’t need to be like somebody else.”

It took a little time for Joel to absorb all that and to answer.

“Yeah sorry.”

It wasn’t the answer Joonas had hoped for, it sounded more like surrendering to their approval than truly understanding what they had wanted to convey. Maybe they didn’t choose the right words. Especially the part about Joel being special.

It was clear that he had just wanted to fit in ever since he was circled out his whole life by school mates and coworkers and family that didn’t really understand at first. It wasn’t always comfortable being ‘unique’, and sometimes all you wanted was to be normal, to be like someone else, be under security of someone else’s personality and not show your own.

Joonas understood better than he would have liked, all of them did, but it nevertheless hurt that it was still such a big part in their lives.

“We love you Joel.” He repeated therefore and turned Joel’s face so he could lean down and drop a kiss to the tip of his nose.

The problem wouldn’t resolve itself today no matter what they said or did, it took time for Joel to embrace the kindness back, just like his tears needed to dry and a smile would build itself slowly up.

But they could cuddle on the couch, all three of them, watch a movie and wait till Joel has relaxed enough that they could go to bed. Maybe Joonas would start a tickle fight with Aleksi to distract Joel, that would end in a wrestling match and one of them falling down on the carpet, but it was what they needed, and Joonas would do everything for his soulmates.

Aleksi stilled in his movement when Joel suddenly appeared before him, blocking the bedroom door.

“We need to do something about Joonas, you in?”

It has been 5 minutes since Aleksi had stood up after a night with pleasant dreams, so excuse him if he was a little slow, but Joel’s sentence didn’t make any sense.

“You want to do what?”

Joel took away his arm from the door frame that had been obstructing Aleksi’s view to the hallway and the bathroom that called for a nice shower. But it was also a bit hot to see Joel looming over him, he couldn’t lie. Okay get back on track brain.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t been noticing how off Joonas’ has been lately? He needs to relax and we’re going to help him.”

Oh. Yes, this Aleksi indeed has noticed. But it wasn’t surprising for Joonas to be tense and stiff with his current workload. And in addition to that Aleksi had to admit that he and Joel didn’t have a great time lately either, and Joonas had always been there to comfort them, giving everything and apparently forgetting about himself.

Aleksi sighed. Yes, they needed to do something for him. “Alright, you’ve got something in mind already?”

Looking at Joel’s face he most likely had, and with the head start Joel had by being awake earlier he certainly had enough time to think about it.

“I’m going grocery shopping so you can cook something nice. Go take a shower my star.” Joel replied and gave him a kiss finally.

As soon as he had appeared as quickly did he vanish out of the door and Aleksi could only shake his head as he fetched his things for the bathroom. When Joel had set his mind on something he could be incredibly determined.

The jingle of keys indicated Joonas’ return, and Aleksi swirled in the sauce to make sure it’s ready. He had timed his cooking perfectly and the table was already set for three, just waiting for them to sit down and eat.

In the hallway he could hear Joel welcoming their boyfriend and soon he felt a pair of arms snaking around his middle and a kiss to his neck. He smiled happily down into the pot, the feeling of one of them pressed to his back, warm and comforting, never getting old and never something he could get used to, always making his heart speed up.

“Smells delicious baby.”

Oh what a compliment could do to Aleksi, he thought as he joyfully served everyone a plate.

Sitting opposite of Joonas gave him the perfect view to observe him and it was effortless to him to see behind his smile. The contentment was real, but the hard lines around his mouth and eyes didn’t vanish with a good meal. It has been too long that Joonas was letting himself torn apart to all sides, and another full day at the studio with Olli did its rest.

Making a good face was something they all learned to do, and especially in their line of work it had to be done, keeping up the face for the press and fans even when they were utterly exhausted. But here, around his loved ones, Joonas didn’t need to pretend.

After they were done eating it was time for round 2 of their plan and after Joel had disappeared for a minute and Aleksi had done his best to convince Joonas they could leave the dishes for a while, they only needed to get Joonas to the bathroom.

“Out of your clothes.” Joel demanded rather excited for that their goal was to help Joonas relax.

Joonas looked at him surprised. “Uhm, I’m sorry Joel, but not today. I’m tired.”

“No, no, no sexy time today, promised, but get out of your clothes.” Joel replied but before Joonas could even lift a finger he was already being shoved towards their bathroom.

Aleksi followed and laughed silently to himself as he watched Joel undress him while Joonas was still busy taking everything in.

Food wasn’t the only thing Joel had bought, a few candles had found their way into the shopping cart and were now lightning up the room to dim the harsh light from the lamp. It made for a seriously calming atmosphere, and the sweet and flowery smell from the bath foam only added to it.

The bathtub was almost full of water and Aleksi quickly turned off the tap before an accident could occur. Testing the temperature, he deemed it safe to enter the water and got rid of his pants and long shirt at least.

Meanwhile Joel and Joonas had gotten naked and while it was certainly a nice picture to see them so close together with their bodies on full display it also warmed his heart to see Joel so careful and attentive to Joonas.

Before anyone of them could get cold Joel helped Joonas get into the bathtub and Aleksi positioned himself outside at the head. There wasn’t enough room for all three of them anyways (nothing they could fix as easily as making more space on the couch and bed) and he had another job to do.

Carefully guiding Joonas’ head back, giving a loving smile before making him close his eyes, Aleksi put both of his hands to his head. He started out with his thumbs at the temple, rubbing the skin there in circles, then travelled to his forehead to card his fingers through his hair.

While he was tending to his curls and the scalp, eliciting the one and other mellow moan of satisfaction, Joel was running his hands over the rest of Joonas’ body.

Although at times it seemed like he was just trying to push the foam around to get a better look at his body.

“I love you both.” Joonas said after some time, his voice quiet and soft.

For Aleksi it turned out to be quite difficult to answer to this at times, and his eyes would cast downwards, feelings too many that they would definitely spill out of him incomprehensibly and with too much force. But while his mouth struggled to find the right words (he only needed three and they were right there but so hard to form around his tongue), his hands were extra careful to caress Joonas’ face.

And Joel was right there to reassure Joonas that they were feeling the same, leaning forwards to capture his wrist and kissing his way around the little soulmark, a shiver noticeable on Joonas’ body. Aleksi could almost feel Joel’s caress on himself, and although he was lacking the symbols that united them, their love for each other was strong enough that in this moment he didn’t need them for assurance. Joel’s loving gaze he got when he broke away from Joonas was all he needed to know.

#blind channel #my fics #will be posted on ao3 in the future when I have time #this came with a little delay because I was completely exhausted this and last week #thank you Gemma for giving me more time #I thought after giving Aleksi all the attention that Joel and Joonas deserve a little care themselves #and I had the scene with Joonas for the longest time because poor man has to struggle with his two traumatised boyfriends #and he deserves some relaxation

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bellysoupset · 6 months

Note

hiii i have sooo many nice things to say about the new fics and about that laugh ask (ps. that was suchhh a sweet ask??) but i’m kinda losing my mind just thinking about how to get across how much I’m in love with your characters, so forgive me if i’m a bit inarticulate here:

are you trying to fucking kill me with vince?? stories and movies never make me cry but twice now with the vince-wendy saga you’ve made me tear up?? bella hugging him like that even though she’s pissed😭😭 vince crying😭 leo being the last braincell of the group 😭😭😭 and wendy my heart is breaking for you because this is such a Situation. also!!! luke! getting out of the house! hell yeah baby! i remember how much i first struggled with having my meds adjusted in the beginning so i feel so bad for luke :(

and leo and jon talking about getting married is killing me. like actually killing me with how cute they are. also saw a reel and thought of them : https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3uPKPerg_L/?igsh=Z3FiNWNrdDh5Yjdk

oh also their clothes make so much sense. leo my baby owning soo many denim jackets (2) is so cute. and jonah dressing like a rich fuck boy is so funny to me. girl what do you mean you chill in a tank top and a kimono 😭 i love his little diva ass

their laughs are sooo perfect for them all btw. (jonah giggling my beloved) (bell and luke getting stuck in a laughing spiral at each others laughs my BELOVED) okay will leave you to be in peace now <3🍄

What if I print this and then grab the printed paper (stay with me here) and the tear it into little pieces and then every day I'll eat one to have a happy pill???

🍄 MY BELOVED!!

The Vince storyline is being the gem of my eyes, because I really didn't think it would be this controversial and resonate with so many people?? I thought it'd be a quick and done conversation and here we are, like 10 stories in.

In all truth, I thought Luke's storyline was going to get the most rise lmao, but that's a happy surprise imho.

I must've rewatched the reel you sent like 10 times, that's SO Jonah/Leo!!! "he's tap dancing on my last nerve" SAY THAT

They're my little happy island right now, sooo in love and thriving.

#🍄 anon #lovely correspondence #i need to write a story where their fashion senses is like Important or makes a difference #not sure how but i Must

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case-57-with-the-enclosure · 1 year

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Chapter 5!

of lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting!

( 1 & 2, 3, and 4 )

as always, be mindful of the content warnings, we're deaddoving here :] be safe and remember you can always come back- sensitive topics might need some cool-down time and that's perfectly fine ♡

===================================

"Grian remembers those words like a thorn in his heart. Another lie, another broken promise; he's full of them these days."

i need to put him in a sock like they do with cats and cradle him to sleep,, poor little man he's gone through so much.

"In the growing afternoon light, Pearl's profile is crowned in dust and swirling gold motes. She still hasn't taken off her hood; the light catches on a patched seam, almost indistinguishable from the rest except for the dark blue thread that stands out like a neatly stitched scar. Something about it makes Grian's stomach curdle, so he casts his gaze back out the window, tracing leaves with a tight knot slowly gnarling in his chest."

ohohohoho the connection between the recently-patched Broken, its association with stitched scars and Knots,, scratches me brain.

"But the emotions swirling beneath the surface taste like ash, feel like fault lines, and make him dizzy with how fast they roil. Like steam without a pressure valve. Riptides without a shore. Something loose and endlessly spinning, that event horizon he'd felt himself circling earlier, spiraling in until it vanishes to a thin, needle point. Pearl is a maelstrom, Grian the eye, and at some point between his ignominious exit from Hermitcraft and subsequent rescue, they'd become two separate storms living as people."

man i love that Pearl's got just, so much going on he can't even differentiate or pinpoint the feelings- the first time reading this paragraph i had to stop the music and pay it twice the attention, bc it felt like the wind of these sentences was repeatedly slapping in my face :]

"Instead, she shifts, a subtle turn-without-turning, and the corner of her eye peeks out from beneath her hood. A thrill runs up his spine; cloaked as it is in shadow, it appears darker than it should. "Did he now," she says, with a soft, tuneless hum."

ª why do i feel like grian's about to get eaten by a wolf help

" 'Hmm, yeah, and we wouldn't want that now, would we?' Pearl replies, and this time her words hold the same razor edge as a diamond sword. "

funny thing that im This Tense at this but when he and mumbo were fighting i was like yes yes literature anomnomnom- the duality of being scared of conflict ig fjsghdsj

"Pearl cocks her head like a bird, still eyeing him from beneath her hood. Then, abruptly, she turns all the way to face him; the sun strikes her full across the bridge of her nose, slashing a line of gold from temple to jaw.¹ Grian startles, jerking back as if shocked before he can force himself still. Her irises are red.²"

1, beatiful!!!

2, ah shit!!

"A dark red, specifically— the colour of wine, of burgundy. Not the eerie glow of a red life, but something dulled down, closer to natural. Without the help of the sun, they could almost pass as brown— but here, they sear, a mixture of bloodied earth and banked embers.

eating the color descriptions up btw, taste oh-so-good

A trickle of ice flows down Grian’s spine as he stares into them, tracing each weaving vein of stroma, and behind his own eyes a dozen memories drenched in scarlet well up to the surface."

ªªªªªªª *googles stroma* ªªªªªªªªª

"In its place is an expression Grian can't parse beneath the crackling smile; something worn, something weary. Something ready to bite down. "Just checking, that's all. I kinda thought the only thing you ate these days were brains.” "

" “Like a zombie,” Pearl adds helpfully, either unaware or uncaring of the way he’s stilled. She makes a playful little growl in the back of her throat, hooks one hand into a claw in front of her face to demonstrate. None of it— not even the honeyed light slipping in through the window— touches her dark, dark irises."

ok im aware its. a lot to him but me personally, im charmed.

"He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out— Grian lies dead in the water, eyes wide and lips working as the writhing mass of emotions emanating from Pearl solidifies into a single, targeted beam. Like a scalpel cutting flesh, it slices clean through anything Grian could possibly say, stripping him down and leaving him raw, vivisected, on the table."

vivisected is such a good word,,

"The raging star in his chest bursts, igniting coal and ashes and flaring embers, and Grian's voice rises with the conflagration. "I WAS STARVING, PEARL!" he shouts, and his ears ring with the echoes. It's an admission he's made before, but not with such force. Grian snarls, chest heaving, wings clawing desperately to rise up and mantle, make him look large. "I've been starving this entire time! From day one of Hermitcraft, I was starving to death, and not one of you even tried to notice!" A sharp spark of pain needles into his palms; it takes him a moment to realize his hands have released the blanket to curl into fists, nails biting down hard enough to draw blood."

YESSSSS EXPLODE LIL BIRD BOY !!!!!!

"His red lives had always been consumed with a haze of blood, of aching, of thirst so potent he could drink and drink and still be greedy. If loneliness had often kept him company, he’d been too busy chasing death to see it."

!!!!!!!!!! If loneliness had often kept him company, he’d been too busy chasing death to see it!!!!!!!!

"(Except once. In a desert with nothing but echoes and a body still bleeding out on the sand behind him: he’d been alone, then. And he’d choked on it, suffocated; teetered between two gravities before tipping his center to the one that promised home, in any form or fashion. Anything to escape the shackles he himself had crafted, had burdened himself with. Grian remembers that. And Grian will do everything in order to forget.)"

i,, i need a moment to curl up and perhaps cry a little

"I'm fine, stop trying to babysit me, and let's all focus on getting Grian—" His voice cracks on the last syllable; Mumbo has to clear it a few times before continuing, rough and uncoordinated, "Let's just focus on getting Grian better, so then we can take him home.""

:C <3

"Scar winces theatrically. "Mumbo? Yeah… not sure what's gotten into him, poor guy, but he hasn't been acting like himself at all. He's been all sorts of crazy since yesterday. Oh! But don't you worry—" Scar's stiff smile melts into something a little more genuine, rounded at the edges; his gaze is warm, sparkling, as he lifts one hand to hesitantly place it on Grian's forearm. The contact burns right through him, but Grian doesn't flinch; this is Scar."

grian-centric fics got me sighing and twirling my hair at this man honestly- lord have mercy it is contagious

"One promise, he thinks, with an edge of desperation so urgent and pleading it resounds through his head like a scream. Just let me keep one promise before I go. Please."

WELP orz

====================================

Closing Thoughts:

:C i am emotionally devastated

can't wait !!! to read how it progresses!!!!! im very curious about the potion-plan, if he's gonna get close to fully putting it in motion or if he's gonna have a bit of an eye-opener in the following chapters.

also fascinated by the use of the comms, they're one of my favorite things about minecraft fiction! how much are they responsible for? if he doesn't have an inventory without them, can't see the chat without them- i need to design little technologies for my comics asap

overall: devastated and inspired, 10/10

#✒️ fic dissection 🔬#lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart)

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3amclothesmonster · 1 year

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Filler content while I learn how to draw again ajdjsidjsjdjs

Facts about my welcome home oc's

Belle Dear:

#1 Her full name is Lulu-Belle Dear

#2 She supplies Howdy with most of the produce

#3 She bakes with Poppy on the weekends

#4 Her first appearance was in an episode detailing the importance of vegetables and fruits and how they grow, most of the episode taking place at her farm

#5 When she first moved in she didn't know there was a person named Howdy so when people said he wasn't there she was confused (It took her three weeks to figure it out)

#6 She definitely chases people with a broom when she feel threatened (Or they're trying to steal her crops)

#7 She's friendly with a the neighbors but she definitely glares at Wally time to time when nobody is looking

#8 She constantly shows embarrassing photos of Eddie to Frank (Such as his cringe phases)

#9 She knows every ounce of drama there is (Girls nights get quite heated sometimes and also it's just fun)

#10 Her house is a very western movie cottage/ saloon

Axel Moon:

#1 He doesn't know his last name so he just came up with the first thing he ever saw (Which was the moon)

#2 He has a Galaxy blob as a friend

#3 He is the most clumsy out of everyone in the household

#4 Him and Sally are best friends (Due to them both coming from outer space and sharing a love for acting and music)

#5 He definitely plays the guitar

#6 He will set up shop in the middle of town and just stare and the stars through his telescope

#7 He is never allowed back at Wally's (He broke to many paintings and art supplies)

#8 He knows every constellation by heart

#9 He sleeps with a rag cat doll every night (Elliot gave him it)

#10 Worse babysitter ever

Elliot Bright:

#1 His side of his and Axel's room is covered in books and poems

#2 He's written a two books

#3 He joins Belle and Poppy in baking

#4 One of two in the household that can cook

#5 He has had the same glasses since he was 7 (He's 21 for reference)

#6 He is usually at a library

#7 Actually not an idiot

#8 He never goes out in summer (The mosquitos are attracted to him)

#9 He'll accidentally switch from English to French every now and then

#10 Is an decent babysitter

Vinny Vander:

#1 His left eye is a button instead of the normal other eyes

#2 He only comes outside when it's raining or when he needs to buy groceries for them

#3 Mf has 8 siblings

#4 He is constantly injured due to failed experiments with gadgets

#5 He is covered in stitches due to the constant injuries

#6 He is massively touch starved and if you hug or show any touch related affection he will breakdown and hug you (Can go on for hours)

#7 He is the other one he can actually cook (Oldest out of all his siblings so he had to learn)

#8 Constantly wears glasses that have decorated spirals on them (They're more so goggles buy eh)

#9 Has the most weirdest closet out of everyone

#10 Every corner of the house is filled with gadgets (Failed, in progress ,etc)

Cupid Heart:

#1 Has only succeeded in playing match maker two times (Elliot and Axel + Eddie and Frank)

#2 Is a literal butterfly Muppet version of Cupid

#3 Loves spring

#4 She was the reason her, Axel, Elliot and Vinny became a friend group

#5 Her and Julie definitely have sleep overs often

#6 Has multiple bow and arrows (Broken and unbroken)

#7 The most social out of all of them (A social butterfly you could say!)

#8 She definitely has a lot of plants arounher room and the house in general

#9 She loves tulips and sunflowers

#10 She is horrible at actually striking targets (Has missed all besides the one directed at Axel and Elliot and Eddie and Frank)

Btw the house Axel, Elliot, Vinny and Cupid live in kinda looks like a toy box

THAT IS ALL

#Welcome home oc #Welcome home ocs #Character facts #Characters facts #Elliot Bright #Vinny Vander #Belle Dear #Cupid Heart #Axel Moon

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forgetfulmachineart · 2 years

Text

I posted 285 times in 2022

That's 109 more posts than 2021!

174 posts created (61%)

111 posts reblogged (39%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@forgetfulmachineart

@alwerakoo

@elytrians

@skelelephant

@sheepnasleep

I tagged 265 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#art by this machine - 73 posts

#mcyt - 62 posts

#art by others - 40 posts

#hermitblr - 31 posts

#hcsmp - 22 posts

#mp100 - 18 posts

#dsmp - 18 posts

#grian - 18 posts

#art ref - 13 posts

#rottmnt - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#btw if you're reading this far into the tags feel free to suggest psuedo halos for any of the others ! im struggling with ralph and rat dad

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

263 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

[ID: A digital drawing of Bdubs holding a large seed. He has a mossy cape over his shoulders and there are floating candles spiraling around him that cast some light. /End ID]

The seed,,,,, OF WHIMSY

380 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

[ID: A choppy gif of Mob almost completely submerged in dark liquid with “99%” above him. The liquid waves up and down. The part of him submerged is lined with white and going ???% with lightning. The part not submerged has a calm face with closed eyes and lined with black. /End ID]

Feeling a lot

1,199 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

See the full post

1,572 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[ID: Semirealistic digital painting of Eret. They’re lounging comfortably with a red cape billowing behind them like a cloud and have their left hand up, high lighting their crown that is floating above their head. They are wearing a white shirt with poofy sleeves tucked into a corset and have golden heeled high thigh boots. There are golden lines radiating around the crown with the words “MONARCH ERET” and “Jan 9, 1999″ above and below one of the lines to the right of Eret. /end ID]

Happy 23rd birthday to the monarch of gender, @theeretblr!!!

2,144 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #had a spicy one this year lads #2k+ notes ????? honestly deserved mx eret slaps

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helpmyinterestsareverywhere · 1 year

Text

Found an old-ish oneshot I never finished

It’s to do with my Ninjago AU/OC (btw she’s the same age as Lloyd, got aged up alongside him with Tomorrow’s tea - this oneshot takes place in-between seasons 11 and 12 where I decided to place her ‘death season’.) (Also I added in brackets whos talking because I’m pretty sure I was gonna reveal it later, I’m not completely sure why I didn’t to begin with)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was revived around 12 hours ago.

It’s been about a year since I died.

And what am I doing? Standing alone in the kitchen of the Monastery, staring at a glass of water I got for myself about 10 minutes ago. That's all I came out for, some water because I got thirsty but for whatever reason it sent me spiralling, this stupid glass of water was the thing to suddenly make me realise what the hell just happened to me, to make me come to terms with the fact that I'm somehow here.

Because that's just it, isn't it? I shouldn't be here. Death is the one consistent thing we humans have in life, the one thing we know takes us all and we can't recover from, or well, shouldn't be able to recover from. That's what most of me is thinking anyway, the other part is confused on why I'm so caught up about this, I mean seriously, I've watched both Zane and Lloyd come back from the dead, it's not like this is a new concept for the group is it? So why is this so baffling to me, why am I so torn up about this?

I sigh deeply, removing my hands from the worktop and standing up straight, still staring at the wretched half-filled glass. 'Hm, half-full? Or is it half-empty?'

"…Kai would say half-full," I mutter to myself, a small smile forming on my face.

'I really should be getting back to bed, it's about 2, 3 in the morning? I should be resting, relaxing at the thought that I'm finally safe and sound, surrounded by my family once again.'

But I don't move a muscle. I stand still and continue staring at my, most likely room-temperature by now, glass of water. It's rendered me useless, kept me frozen in place as my mind moves in circles, millions of thoughts swirling around, pounding at my skull. I want to tear my eyes away, to move and go back to bed, to let these thoughts and feelings lay to rest but I can't, I'm stuck and I don't know why.

As I continue to stare, my mind wanders and decides to take a break from the storm it made, finally taking in the peace of the dreadfully early morning that surrounds me, finally hearing that gentle tick-tock of a clock coming from a dark corner. '...That's new. I didn't think we had a clock around here. When did they get one? Why did they suddenly decide they need one?' I want to look, to find where this clock is placed, to see if it can answer these questions, but I can't.

I keep staring at the glass.

"...Poppy?" (Kai) A soft whisper reaches my ears from across the room but I can't move to look at him, my eyes still fixated on the glass, "Hey, you okay?" (Kai)

I try to hum in agreement but what comes out is an unsure, almost monotone sound, one that does the exact opposite of trying to show that I'm okay. A soft sigh (Cole), a different voice to the whisper, comes from that direction before the sound of light footsteps fills the room, 2 sets of footsteps, and suddenly I'm flanked on both sides, a gentle, comforting warmth surrounding me.

"..Hi," I manage to push out, it sounding strained and strangled. "I'm, uh just getting a glass of water."

"Hm, and planning to drink the rest of it by staring at it are we?" (Cole) I exhale softly from my nose, a pathetic excuse of a laugh for an equally dumb joke. I want to look at him, to show him my unimpressed face like I usually would, but I can't because I'm still stuck, still staring at this stupid gla-

"Kid, what's going on?" (Kai)

And for some reason that's enough, a simple sentence cuts through the hurricane of thoughts rushing through my head and I blink, tears forming in my eyes as I can finally move, the spell that once captured me, broken. I bury my head in my hands as I try to stop the sudden onslaught of tears, to try and muffle the already quiet sobs, to try and hold the broken pieces of me together.

But I can't.

I'm not sure who made the move first, but I'm soon wrapped up in two pairs of arms, the gentle and comforting warmth now everywhere around me, overtaking me and trying to drown out my other senses, desperately trying to help hold me together. I'm rocked back and forth gently, small and soft shushes coming from them both as my apologies get tangled within my sobs, seeping through the cracks of my fingers and gasping for air, begging to be heard.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago original character #ninjago oc #oc poppy hart #ninjago poppy hart #ninjago oneshot #ninjago kai #ninjago cole

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ynscrazylife · 2 years

Text

Clinging Onto You

Request: “HIII idk if your taking requests rn but I thought id put in an idea for a peter parker x stark!daughter fic where theyre in a secret relationship and they get exposed somehow? im thinking kinda angsty like he walks in to the compound all bloody or something AHH IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but thats pretty much it but yeah! i love your stuff btw!!”

Summary: The Avengers unexpectedly find out that Tony’s daughter Y/N and Peter are dating.

Authors Note: Set during No Way Home, in an AU that everyone survived Endgame.

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

Main Masterlist | MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

Peter felt his heart practically lurch out of his body when saw Y/N falling. In a snap, he forgot about his mission, he forgot about the other Peters, he forgot about everything. The only thing concerning him was his girlfriend’s safety. It was so high up his priority list that it consumed him, and to see her safety be threatened lit a fuel he didn’t know he had.

He didn’t think, or hear, or speak when he ran and leapt, diving after her with his arm outstretched. Faster, he thought to himself, as the image of complete terror overwhelming Y/N was burned into his mind, her bone-shattering scream sure to leave his ears ringing for days.

The tips of their fingers were inches away, he was nearly there, just about to lock his tight grip on her shaky hand when bam—the wind was knocked out of him as he was thrown off to the side, too far away from Y/N for his liking.

Recovering quickly, Peter’s spider sense directed his fingers to scrape at and clutch the edge of the construction site. Using all his upper body strength, he pulled himself up and scrambled across. His eyes were wide as a bug’s as he searched the abyss of construction for his falling girlfriend, about to send a thwip of webs in her direction when he didn’t see her.

He panted. Had she fallen? Was she—?

From his position, Peter didn’t spot that the other Peter had caught Y/N with tears in his eyes about the girl he wish he could’ve caught. On the tip of a spiral of hatred and despair, his saving grace was found when Peter 3’s voice came over their shared comm system.

“Peter, Peter 1, I caught Y/N. She’s okay, just a little shaken up.”

After the initial shock were off, Peter’s influx of grief was replaced with waves of relief. His ability to breathe became easier and he felt his muscles lose their tension. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he croaked in response.

Later on, when Peter saw the back of Green Goblin standing mere feet away from him, a desire for vengeance flashed through his eyes. He narrowed in on his target and walked towards him, arms outstretched to do something—anything—when he was stopped.

“Eh eh eh, don’t do anything too quickly,” his sneaky, drawling voice came.

Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, watching as the man slowly turned around. Then, his eyes widened, seeing the person who was with the villain. None other than the love of his life, his girlfriend Y/N, the daughter of one of the most famous heroes ever. Green Goblin had an arm around her, tightly holding her back. Fear was in her eyes as she struggled in vain.

“Let her go, Goblin,” Peter ordered in a low voice, slowing down his movements. In the back of his mind, he wondered where the other Peters were. This was very inconvenient.

He had the nerve to laugh a sick laugh and it made Peter’s blood boil with anger. “I said, let her go!” He repeated, raising his voice to yell.

Green Goblin ignored this and took a step forward, dragging Y/N along with him. “I observed your reaction when she fell, Parker. Quite distraught you were when you didn’t catch her, hmm? I’ll let her go . . . when you admit, in front of the cameras, who the daughter of Stark is to you and why you hid her from the public like your identity!” He said.

For the first time, Peter’s eyes flickered up and he noticed the cameras circling the air above them from helicopters. All news stations, most likely, broadcasting the footage to the entire globe. And, if the entire globe was seeing it, that meant the Avengers were watching, too.

(And, back at the Avengers tower, the team was watching in half-shock, half-fear. They had known that this was a fight Peter needed to do by himself, so they refrained from suiting up, but the involvement of Y/N changed it at all.)

His eyes flickered over to Y/N anxiously, who was still determined and not giving up in her fight for freedom. He couldn’t trust that Green Goblin would stay true to his word. “Why do you want me to say this?” Peter questioned.

Green Goblin pursed his lips. “Oh, Peter, I thought you were smarter than this,” he began condescendingly. “Don’t you know that my goal is to cause you as much pain as possible? You’re hiding something. You’re hiding her. And I will force it out of you, one way or another.”

When Peter hesitated, still not trusting him, Green Goblin took it a step forward. Reaching into a pocket, the young hero only saw a flash of what it was in his hand before he injected it into Y/N’s neck. Gasping, Y/N began to fight even harder, although it didn’t do anything.

“This, son, is a poison I developed. It’s quick-acting. She gets the antidote when you tell me what I want to know,” the villain threatened.

Peter’s eyes went wide. He opened his mouth, prepared to spill it all, when he caught sight of the other Peters stealthily approaching from behind Green Goblin. Within a split second, they attacked. Peter 3 pulled the man back with his webs while Peter 2 administered the cure.

At the sudden loss of his grip on her, Y/N stumbled forward. Peter leapt to catch her, wrapping his arms wound her protectively and pulling her close. “The antidote!” He yelled to Peter 2. “It’s somewhere in his pocket!”

Peter 2 jumped into action, reaching into Green Goblin’s pocket. When he grabbed the antidote, he tossed it to Peter. Peter caught it and injected into Y/N. For a split second, her eyes widened, but she soon relaxed. “Thank you,” she murmured into her boyfriend’s shoulder.

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the comfort that Y/N just being safe was bringing to him. He only opened his eyes when he felt the wind hit his face, blinking and making out the Avengers’ Quinjet arriving before all the team members stepped out. While the other Peters returned to their own universes, Tony led the team towards the embracing teenagers.

“Y/N, Peter, are you guys alright?” He asked worthily, placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

Turning around, Y/N gladly fell into her father’s arms. Meanwhile, Peter blinked at the sudden loss of her touch. It felt like he was missing something. “I’m—I’m fine. Just cuts and bruises. But Y/N—” he began to say, as the rest of the Avengers crowded around them.

Y/N shook her head, melting back into the safety next that was her boyfriend, leaning against him. “I feel—I feel . . . I’m fine, okay? Don’t worry about me,” she mumbled into Peter’s shoulder. No one was convinced.

Before Tony could start an argument with his daughter out of concern, Natasha stepped in. “Let’s get you guys on the Quinjet. Bruce will have to check you both over just in case,” she directed softly, leading them onto the Quinjet.

Peter and Y/N stayed to the back, away from everyone else. Although Tony had wanted to join his daughter, Steve had steered him away, whispering about how they needed some space with each other to process everything. On the Quinjet, everyone took their seats. Normally Natasha and Clint would pilot, but this time they put it on autopilot. Peter and Y/N settled into seats next to each other, with Y/N wrapping both arms around one of Peter’s.

Bruce was able to clean and disinfect Peter’s cuts, but then he had to switch to Y/N. “I want to have F.R.I.D.A.Y do a medical scan and take a sample of blood just to be sure. We couldn’t really tell what happened with Goblin from the T.V, but it was obviously something,” he said.

At that, Peter looked around. Everyone — except for Tony that is, who was looking at the teens intently — averted their gaze at Bruce’s words. He had wondered if they heard what Green Goblin had said, and it was obvious by now that they had. He silently thanked them for not bringing it up, even though they wanted to.

“He poisoned me, but Peter gave me the antidote. ‘M fine,” she mumbled tiredly.

“P-poison?” Tony coughed out, his eyes wide. He wasn’t the only one shocked and concerned, but the others hid it better.

“Let’s go over to somewhere where there’s more light so we can make sure,” Bruce instructed softly, before standing up and moving to the center of the ship, where the light from the ceiling was shining down.

Y/N went to to follow him, her grip on Peter never lessening. Peter didn’t mind, he was more than happy to hold onto her. He joined them both, and thankfully FRIDAY was intelligent enough to be able to scan Y/N without needing Peter to step aside. He patiently waited for Bruce to take Y/N’s finger prick, and the couple watched as he analyzed the incoming scan.

“You seem okay, the antidote worked quickly . . . But the poison and antidote has some side effects and has weakened you. You’ll need to rest like Peter,” Bruce concluded. “I’ll analyze your blood just to make sure.”

As soon as she was given the green light, Y/N wasted no time in during around and plopping herself in her seat. Peter gladly joined her.

When the Quinjet reached the compound, everyone began organizing themselves. Natasha took it upon herself to wake the now-sleeping teenagers, who had wrapped themselves around each other. Y/N’s legs were thrown over Peter’s lap, her head resting in the crook of his neck. Peter had his arms wrapped around her, his head resting against her own.

Everyone had noticed — except Tony, that was, who was too worried about his daughter to notice anything else. However, no one said a word, wanting them to sleep.

When Natasha approached the teens, she reached her hand out to shake Peter’s shoulder, when Y/N shifted. After a moment, she settled, but her mumbling came not long after. Natasha didn’t catch what she said, but when she moved around more, it woke Peter up.

“Wha—” Peter started to mumble himself, blinking a couple times before turning to Y/N. Recognizing the situation, he shifted, pulling Y/N closer. In response, Y/N kept moving around, but couldn’t go anywhere in Peter’s arms.

“Catch me, please,” she whispered in her sleep, making Peter’s and Natasha’s eyes widen.

“Y/N, Y/N, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up,” Peter said, his voice loud but still kind, wasting no time in gently shaking her shoulder. This got everyone’s attention, stopping what they were doing to turn to the teenagers and the Widow.

“Pe—ter, catch me!” Y/N yelled, kicking her leg out and hitting the air. She tossed and turned and Peter had to tighten his grip on her so she didn’t accidentally fall onto the ground.

“Y/N, wake up,” he repeated, pausing before ultimately cupping her cheek in his hand. The comforting touch instantly drew her from her restless sleep, and as soon as she became aware, she was looking around hurriedly. “Hey, hey, you’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Y/N relaxed, wrapping her arms around Peter and pulling herself closer to him — if that was even possible. He adjusted himself so she was sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist, head nestled into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her back, his chin on his shoulder, glancing at the other Avengers.

After a few minutes of small mumblings from Peter about how he was here for her and how she was safe, Steve cleaned his throat. “We’re ready,” he announced to the team, although it was clear who his intended target was. Everyone but Peter and Y/N had their stuff.

The team stood up, Tony and Natasha grabbing Y/N and Peter’s belongings, while Peter stood up, carrying his girlfriend. No one said a word about it until they reached the compound’s living room, where Y/N had fallen asleep and Peter had laid her carefully on the couch.

“What was that?” Tony asked, coughing. His voice was thick with emotion and hoarse.

When Peter turned around, wearing a tired, concerned, and sad expression, Tony opened his mouth to retract the question. He was about to say that it was fine, he could hear about it another time, but Peter already started talking.

“During the fight, she-she fell. I dived after her but was knocked out of the way. I assumed the worst, but one of the other Peters caught her,” he explained, averting his gaze and ultimately squeezing his eyes shut as he recalled the utter fear that ran through his blood. He let the team adjust to this for a couple seconds, since he wasn’t done speaking. “Then, Goblin must’ve grabbed her. He wanted me to . . . to admit who she is to me because he wanted to hurt me. I was reluctant, how could I trust him? So he poisoned her, but the other Peters arrived and we got the antidote for her and cured him.”

Tony’s gaze fell to his daughter. “Oh my god,” he whispered, gravitating towards her and kneeling down. Reaching out to brush the hair away from her face, he looked up at Peter as he pieced the puzzle together. “Are you two in a relationship with each other?” He asked.

Peter slowly looked around at everyone in the room, all still processing what he had just revealed. “We were going to tell you,” he admitted. It was the truth.

Tony nodded, taking a deep breath before standing up. He turned to Peter and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Get some rest, Pete. You did great today,” he said.

Blinking, Peter nodded a little numbly. However, he couldn’t hide his tired, goofy smile as he let himself flop on the couch next to Y/N. He pulled his girlfriend closer to himself, knowing that it wouldn’t wake her up. Steve threw a blanket over them and the team all took their seats, beginning a quiet conversation. Closing his eyes, Peter continued to smile as he was holding Y/N and feeling her warmth, letting his team’s soft and low voices lull him to sleep.

It would take a while for them to be okay again, but they worked through it together. And now, at least, they didn’t need to hide it from the Avengers anymore. (Although they did have to deal with Sam and Bucky’s constant teasing).

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