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#2 bedroom apartments colorado springs
maeoncascade · 2 months
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Renting a Studio Apartment in Colorado Springs: What You Need to Know
If you’re considering moving to Colorado Springs and are in search of a cozy, budget-friendly living option, renting a studio apartment might be the perfect choice. Colorado Springs offers a diverse range of rental options, from luxury studio apartments to more modest 1 bedroom apartments. Here’s a guide to help you navigate your options and find the best studio apartment for rent in Colorado Springs.
Understanding Studio Apartments
Studio apartments, also known as studios, are compact living spaces where the bedroom, living room, and kitchen are combined into a single room. They’re ideal for individuals or couples who appreciate simplicity and want to maximize their living space while minimizing costs. Studios for rent in Colorado Springs offer an efficient solution for those who prefer a smaller, more manageable space.
Finding the Right Studio Apartment
When searching for studio apartments near me, you’ll encounter a range of options based on location, amenities, and price. Colorado Springs boasts a variety of studio apartments, from basic models to high-end luxury studio apartments Colorado Springs. To find the best fit, consider your priorities:
Location: Decide on the area that best suits your lifestyle. If you prefer to be close to the city’s amenities, look for studio apartments in central Colorado Springs. For a quieter experience, you might explore studio apartments in more suburban or outlying areas.
Budget: Studio apartments generally come at a lower cost than 1 bedroom apartments. However, luxury studio apartments in Colorado Springs will be priced higher, reflecting their upscale amenities and prime locations.
Amenities: Different studio apartments offer varying levels of amenities. Some may include modern appliances, on-site laundry, or even access to a fitness center. Make a list of must-have features to narrow down your choices.
Comparing Other Apartment Types
While studio apartments are a great option, you might also consider other types of rentals depending on your needs. If you’re looking for a bit more space, 1 bedroom apartments near me offer additional privacy and separate living areas. For those needing more room, you might explore 2 bedroom apartments for rent or even 3 bedroom apartments near me.
In Colorado Springs, 2 bedroom apartments provide ample space for small families or roommates. They offer separate sleeping areas and additional rooms for various purposes, which can be beneficial if you require more space but still want to maintain a budget-friendly rental.
Luxury Options
For those who want to indulge in a higher standard of living, the best apartments in Colorado Springs include luxury studio apartments and high-end 1 bedroom apartments. These often come with premium finishes, modern appliances, and exclusive amenities. Exploring these options can lead you to some of the finest studio apartments for rent.
Final Thoughts
Renting a studio apartment in Colorado Springs can be a fantastic choice if you’re looking for a convenient, affordable, and stylish living space. Whether you’re interesteluxud in a basic studio or a luxury option, Colorado Springs offers a wide range of studio apartments to fit different needs and budgets.
For those in search of an exceptional living experience, The Mae On Cascade stands out as one of the best available luxury apartment rentals in Colorado Springs. With its top-notch amenities and prime location, The Mae On Cascade provides a superb option for those looking to experience the height of luxury living in this beautiful city.
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vimnorwood · 2 months
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Your Complete Moving Checklist for Renting an Affordable Apartment in Downtown Colorado Springs | VIM Apartments
Moving to a new apartment in Downtown Colorado Springs can be an exciting adventure, but it requires careful planning to find the perfect balance of affordability and convenience. Here’s a comprehensive checklist to help you navigate the process smoothly.
1. Determine Your Budget: Start by establishing a clear budget that includes rent, utilities, and any additional fees. Look for affordable apartments in Colorado Springs that fit within this budget.
2. Research Neighborhoods: Downtown Colorado Springs offers a variety of neighborhoods each with its own charm and amenities. Consider factors like proximity to work, schools, public transportation, and local attractions.
3. Apartment Search: Utilize online resources such as rental websites and social media groups to search for apartments for rent in Colorado Springs. Narrow down options based on your preferred number of bedrooms (studio, 1-bedroom, or 2-bedroom) and desired amenities.
4. Schedule Viewings: Contact property managers to schedule viewings of potential apartments. Take note of the apartment’s condition, amenities, and the surrounding neighborhood during your visit.
5. Review Lease Terms: Carefully review the lease agreement to understand terms such as rent amount, lease duration, security deposit, and pet policies. Ensure everything aligns with your expectations before signing.
6. Plan Your Move: Create a moving checklist that includes tasks like packing, hiring movers or renting a truck, updating your address, and transferring utilities.
7. Set Up Utilities: Contact utility providers well in advance to set up services like electricity, water, internet, and cable.
8. Pack Efficiently: Organize your belongings and pack systematically to make unpacking easier. Label boxes clearly and prioritize essentials.
9. Update Address: Notify relevant parties such as banks, employers, and subscriptions about your change of address.
10. Consider VIM Apartments: For those seeking the best affordable apartments in Colorado Springs, VIM Apartments stands out. Offering a range of floor plans including studios, 1-bedroom, and 2-bedroom apartments, VIM Apartments in Downtown Colorado Springs provides modern amenities, convenient location, and competitive pricing.
Moving to a new apartment requires thoughtful planning and organization. By following this checklist and considering VIM Apartments, you can make your move to Downtown Colorado Springs a smooth and enjoyable experience. Happy apartment hunting!
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3rddimension · 1 year
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Dude, what is the stuff outside of work you keep referring to? They post from the same place because they live/lived togethernless they said otherwise all you can assume is that they are roommates. You say they share a bed but you have no idea how many bedrooms their apartment has. The most shared stuff was when they were out with Shelby, which is also a long time friend of S. On the other hand, Court has been sharing photos of Spencer in almost every photo dump for the last year or so, they comment on each other's stuff, including Spencer supporting C's YouTube videos, they feature and troll each other on social media all the time. You keep referring to C's words "everything I share is intentional", but choose to ignore everything else she's shared that doesn't fit your narrative. Maybe expand your mind...
Then why didn't Court was with Spencer on...
Hawaii week off trip
2022 MGM Las Vegas trip
All the Disneyland & Universal Studio trip
2022 Christmas & New Year trip to Colorado Springs
Creator Clashes 2
UK week off trip
2023 Courtney birthday
Chilli Cookoff
btw Shayne was with them in all of the thing I listed and that's just what they decided to share too. They probably been to more things that we know.
Also the roommate stuff they said so many time on older SmoshCast that they don't like having roommate. Shayne even said that "I don't know if I ever will end up living with someone again unless i'm married or whatever" on the podcast.
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jaidelofts · 3 months
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Jaide Lofts in Los Angeles, CA
Perhaps, you’re familiar with the rental apartment named Jaide Lofts. When it comes to lavish apartment homes in the city, especially two bedroom apartments in Fashion District area nowadays, Jaide Lofts is a significant choice. Besides, it’s interesting to note that they welcome you to Jaide Lofts apartments. Obviously, it is your dream community at the present time. Aside from that, it is where comfort, leisure, and entertainment are designed with your lifestyle in mind. With a prime location and top-tier amenities, their pet-friendly Downtown Los Angeles apartments, have everything you need to feel right at home. Remarkable, isn’t it?
Los Angeles, CA
At the present time, trying different techniques is necessary to make a travel itinerary. If you’re preparing one now, you can check out these Eventbrite posts. First, there will be Day Party LA: Summer Kickoff this coming Sunday, June 23, 2024, at around 5:00 PM at Fountain LA. Second, the Chet Architecture x To the Trade event is scheduled on Sunday, June 23, 2024, at around 2:00 PM at Chet Architecture, Cummings Lane, Los Angeles, California. Lastly, you can also opt to attend the We Are United event on Wednesday, July 3, 2024, at around 9:00 PM at Avalon Hollywood.
Santa Monica Pier
Let’s talk about the popular tourist spot named Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles, CA. Nowadays, many people choose the place for sightseeing and relaxation. If you want to enjoy a fun weekend, it’s one of the best places to visit these days. Basically, the Santa Monica Pier is a large pier at the foot of Colorado Avenue in Santa Monica, California, United States. Moreover, it contains a small amusement park, concession stands, and areas for views and fishing. Aside from that, the pier is part of the greater Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area. In the popular book series The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare, the fictional Los Angeles Institute overlooks the Santa Monica pier.
Justin Timberlake arrested for DWI in the Hamptons, source tells ABC News
There are many shocking and interesting news reports in Los Angeles, CA. In a recent news article, the topic was about a DWI case. Reportedly, Justin Timberlake has been arrested and charged with misdemeanor driving while intoxicated in the Hamptons. Well, this is shared by the police. Moreover, Timberlake drove through a stop sign and swerved into a lane of oncoming traffic at 12:37 in the morning on Tuesday, based on the report by Sag Harbor Village police. Besides, the pop star was driving a 2025 grey BMW XM on Madison Street when he failed to stop and failed to maintain his lane of travel. In addition, you can research more about this if you’re interested about the details.
Link to maps
Santa Monica Pier 200 Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, CA 90401, United States Continue to CA-1 S/Palisades Beach Rd 3 min (0.3 mi) Take I-10 E to W 18th St in Los Angeles. Take the exit toward Convention Ctr/Grand Ave from I-10 E 16 min (13.9 mi) Take S Olive St to S Spring St 10 min (1.6 mi) Jaide Lofts 650 S Spring St, Los Angeles, CA 90014, United States
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driverdefens · 8 months
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Colorado Springs Options for Student Housing View Our Apartments
With various amenities and facilities, experience a new level of student living at The Lodges of Colorado Springs, steps from UCCS. Elevate your college experience with comfortable apartments and exciting amenities.
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livewestedge · 10 months
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Exploring Student Housing Options In Beautiful Colorado Springs Nestled just minutes away from the UNH campus, West Edge offers an extraordinary student housing experience in Colorado Springs. Whether you're looking for spacious apartments, cozy cottages, or stylish townhomes, we've got the perfect space for you! Our residences come with a range of features like walk-in closets, fully furnished interiors, private balconies, and more. You can also enjoy our community clubhouse, 24-hour business center, dog park, and more for a relaxing life. From a game room and hot tubs to 2 and 4-bedroom floorplans, we have amenities to suit every lifestyle. Contact West Edge at https://livewestedge.com/ to get started on your search for UCCS off-campus housing in Colorado.
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How much is buying a house in Colorado?
Buying a house is a significant decision, both emotionally and financially. For many, it's the realization of the American dream. Colorado, with its beautiful landscapes, thriving cities, and rich history, has become a sought-after destination for homebuyers. But the key question is: How much does it cost to buy a house in Colorado? In this article, we'll explore the current housing market in Colorado and the various factors influencing prices.
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A Brief Overview of Colorado's Real Estate Market
Colorado's real estate market has witnessed consistent growth over the years. Cities like Denver, Colorado Springs, and Boulder have seen a surge in demand, resulting in a competitive housing market. Factors such as population growth, job opportunities, and quality of life have all played roles in driving demand.
Factors Influencing the Cost
Location: Like any other state, location plays a critical role in determining the cost of a house in Colorado. Properties in downtown areas or near amenities tend to have a higher price tag compared to those in more remote or suburban locations.
Size and Type: The size, type, and condition of the property are also vital factors. A newly built 4-bedroom house will generally cost more than a 2-bedroom apartment or a fixer-upper.
Market Trends: Housing prices fluctuate based on demand and supply. An influx of new residents or significant developments in an area can push prices up.
How We Buy Houses Can Help
For those who are looking to sell their homes to upgrade or relocate within Colorado, companies like We Buy Houses offer a streamlined solution. They simplify the selling process, ensuring a quick and fair transaction. To understand better how this process works, check out the how it works page on their website.
Current Pricing Landscape
As of the current market trends, the median home value in Colorado ranges between $400,000 to $500,000. However, it's essential to note that these prices can vary widely based on the factors mentioned earlier. It's always a good idea to work with a local real estate agent or use online tools and resources to get an accurate estimate for a specific location or property type.
Conclusion
While Colorado offers an enticing mix of natural beauty and urban sophistication, the cost of buying a house here can vary significantly based on various factors. Whether you're a first-time buyer or looking to invest, it's crucial to do thorough research and consult with real estate professionals. And for those looking to sell in Colorado, remember that options, like we buy houses, can simplify and expedite your journey. We Buy Houses Colorado Springs Address: 4760 Flintridge Dr #150, Colorado Springs, CO 80918, United States Phone: +17194198306 Map URL: https://maps.app.goo.gl/kGUVd89C1yL6Qivk6
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livethelodges · 1 year
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Experience Comfort And Convenience In Colorado Springs Student Apartments Elevate your student living experience with The Lodges of Colorado Springs. Enjoy our spacious apartments and luxurious amenities just minutes from the University of Colorado Colorado Springs campus! Move outside the ordinary and embrace your journey with us. Choose from a full set of amenities to enhance your lifestyle. Community Features we offer: A 24-hour fitness center with a yoga studio, Business center and study lounge, Sand volleyball court, grilling stations, firepit, Private shuttle bus service to the UCCS campus and etc. Our apartment features will make you feel right at home. 1, 2, 4, and 5 bedroom floorplans, Single bedrooms, all private bathrooms, Extra half-bath available, Per person contracts, roommate matching, and many more, etc. In addition, we waive your deposit fee if you apply early. It's the place where you explore yourself and become the best version of yourself. Contact The Lodges of Colorado Springs at https://live-thelodges.com/ for more tips.
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littleredlie · 4 years
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Derailed (S1P1)
Series Masterlist | Master Masterlist
Chicago Med x doctor!OC Morgan Fitzgerald is a doctor at Chicago Medical. On the day of Med’s reopening Morgan is in the middle of a tense situation as old friends from the past come back and form uneasy relationships with newer friends. Based off S1E1 of Chicago Med.
3.9k+ Words
Featuring: Morgan Fitzgerald, Will Halstead, Natalie Manning, April Sexton, Maggie Lockwood, Ethan Choi, Daniel Charles, Sarah Reese, Sharon Goodwin, Connor Rhodes Warning: This might be complete shit, I don’t know. I tried my hardest with the medical stuff, a lot might be inaccurate.  A/N: Let me know how you like it
The alarm clock that sat on the nightstand beside Morgan’s bed rang as it changed to 4:45 AM. At the sound, the weary woman’s eyes blink open with great difficulty. She does not move for a moment, letting the alarm to ring a bit more before slapping her hand against the off button. Pulling herself up, she peeks out the open window to her right, noticing that Chicago was slowly coming to life for the day. It was November now, she had to turn the heat in the apartment soon though her roommate has been telling her to do it since August, but it always got hot in Morgan’s room. She hears a train nearby rumbling along the tracks and she can see a light tinge of blue sitting on the horizon. She had been back in Chicago for three years, but the mornings still entranced her. When a bird flies past her window, Morgan takes it as a signal to start getting ready for work.
Turning on the lamp, her small room becomes illuminated and the picture of her sister that sat on the nightstand beside the alarm clock came into view. It was taken during Morgan’s graduation from medical school about a month before their lives changed. Tearing her eyes away from the frame, she slips the bonnet off her head and places it on the vacant pillow to her left. The bun her hair was in unwraps into a ponytail, the ends of her braids tickling her upper back. Throwing the blue covers off her bare legs, Morgan slips her feet into the slippers beside her bed and trudges towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway. However, before she could get there, she noticed a light peering out from under her roommate’s door. She stops and softly knocks, pushing the door a little without waiting for a knock.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” Morgan’s eyes sweep over Hayden’s body and she is immediately given her answer. The reporter was slumped over her desk, papers scattered over her bed and on the floor. Hayden looks up to Morgan, her glasses sitting on top of her head and bags stacking under her eyes.
“I’m about to get a huge lead about a sex trafficking group operating around Garfield Park and Humboldt. People are going missing and I know that I’m getting near, I just need –”
“What you need is rest” Morgan interrupts her leaning on the doorframe. “You cannot keep pushing this hard or your body is gonna crash”
“But–”
“No buts.” Morgan pulls the pen out of her roommate’s hand. “Get some rest please, doctor’s orders.”
“You know you cannot keep using your occupation over me, you don’t see me saying investigative reporter’s orders.” Hayden leans back in her chair, arms folding over her chest, a soft smile on her lips.
“Well, when I go chasing sex traffickers in Central Chicago than you can pull that shit.” She smiles back. “I’m gonna go get ready for work, I don’t need the car today so I’ll leave the car keys on the counter.”
“It's reopening today right? After ya know.” Hayden shrugs. That night was rough, Morgan was running on fumes before the explosion and after the lockdown she was trying her best not to tip over.
“Yeah, it’s being televised,” the doctor forces a breath out. “I hope today’s easy, cause these last few months have not. I’ll see you later.” With that Morgan closes Hayden’s bedroom door and heads to the bathroom. Soon the shower head is pushing out water and steam is beginning to fog up the mirrors. The clock in the bathroom reads 4:57 and Morgan knows that she has to hurry if she wants to make it to the hospital by 5:45. She was glad that they found this apartment not too far from the hospital that she’d been working at for the past three years. 
When a shower cap is put over her braids, the dark skinned woman puts herself under the warm water, her shoulder muscles relaxing just a little. Almost instinctively, her hand grazes over the surgical scar that was just under her belly and it lingers. Pulling her hand away she focuses on the rest of her body until she is done. She dries herself and applies lotion quickly, wanting to bring the attention to her makeup. Morgan did not do much when it came to makeup, she’d put light foundation and do her eyebrows. She decided to leave her box braids in a high bun reinforced bu two scrunchies. With a towel wrapped around her body, Morgan heads to her room to get dressed. 
Her maroon scrubs and white lab coat were folded on top of the ottoman at the end of her bed. Slipping on a pair of black boxer briefs and a black sports bra, she knew that she had no one to impress. It’s been a bit of a dry spell since she broke up with her detective ex-boyfriend last spring. It wasn’t like it bothered her much, she was busy with work and had been focusing on her family. There wasn’t time to date (and she couldn’t deny that it took a bit of time to get over him). Glancing at the clock again, she sees that it was 5:20. The train station was about five minutes away, so she had to hurry. She’ll eat when she gets to the hospital. Throwing on her sneakers, jacket, scarf, and hat, Morgan then grabs her phone and her well prepared backpack. 
A chill danced down her spine the moment she stepped outside and made her way to the train station. She waves to the lady opening the flower store to her right as her steps reverberate off the concrete steps. Putting in the headphones connected to her phone, Morgan starts an audio book, her focus only on the words of the story and her destination.
It wasn’t long till she got there, recognizing familiar commuters and passing a few smiles to those who were willing to accept. The ride was uneventful, but Morgan was not focusing on everyone else. She was either listening to the book or her mind was wondering about the day that laid out in front of her. Working in an emergency department was unpredictable, it could be a day filled with easy answers and wins or it could be tragic, long, hard, stressful. Morgan’s been at Chicago Memorial for three years, finishing her residency for emergency medicine and then accepting an attending position. After graduating from University of Colorado’s M.D. program, she decided to come back home after 11 years and applied to a few hospitals in Chicago. Chicago Memorial was her first choice and when she got it, it was like she was starting over. That was until everything happened.
The train stops at her destination and the doctor shuffles off with a few others. Briskly, she makes her way to the hospital, arriving the same time as Dr. Will Halstead. Yanking the headphones from her ears, she walks up to him and nudges him slightly, bringing a small smile to his face.
“Ready for today?” She asks him and he looks down at her, nodding slightly.
“I was so excited I couldn’t sleep last night,” Morgan laughs at his tone and he laughs with her.
“Okay, let’s just get through the day.” Together they walk through the lobby where people are beginning to set up for a press conference. In the doctor’s lounge, Will diverts his attention to Natalie while Morgan heads to her locker. She hangs up her backpack on the hook, pulls out her white coat to put on, and pulls out her purple stethoscope, stuffing it into the left pocket of her white coat. She makes sure her pager is on before stuffing it into her right coat packet.
Soon doctors, nurses, reporters, administration and more are standing in the lobby listening to Mrs. Goodwin speak praising remarks for the mayor. There are cheers and claps resonating around the room and the air is light. It isn’t like that for too long. The second Goodwin cuts the ribbon for the new emergency department, various pagers and cell phones begin to ring. Morgan looks at Dr. Choi when he pulls out his pager and soon after hers begins to ring. She pulls it out and glances down to it, her eyebrows furrowing together. She sees the Mayor being ushered off before Maggie walks out through the automatic doors.
“CFD Plan 2, mass cas. Multiple trauma patients, minutes away.” She yells. “Let’s go!” She urges and medical personnel begin to push themselves through the doors. 
         ❦
All of sudden the emergency department is busy and there are sirens nearing the hospital. Maggie immediately begins delegating as paramedics pour through from the bay. Morgan is pushed to Trauma 1. 
A young teenage girl who’s clutching her arm to her chest sits on the gurney. Morgan peers down and sees her tibia poking out of her shin and knows that the girl is in pain.
“Let’s start a morphine drip!” Dr. Fitzgerald yells out, a nurse fulfilling her orders. “Transfer on my count, gently,” everyone surrounding the girl clutches at the sheet, preparing to move her onto the treatment table. “One, two, three,” with a soft thud the girl is finally on the table.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Fitzgerald, what’s your name sweetie?”
“Grace,” she breathes out, obviously having trouble breathing. “My name’s Grace.”
“Alright Grace, we’re doing everything we can to help you.” Morgan flashes a light in front of her eyes to see her pupil’s reaction. “Pupils are reactive to light, blood pressure and sats are normal, heart rate is increasing. She’s tachy, let’s push 3 of Ativan.” The room moves around Morgan as they tend to the patient who is crying in front of her. Morgan puts a nasal cannula on Grace’s face so that she could breathe easier. 
Moving to her head, Morgan takes off the collar and looks down. “Grace, I need you to do something for me real quick, okay?” Morgan nods and places her hands to each side of Grace’s head. “Alright, can you touch your chin to the chest?” Grace does so and Morgan then has her move her head side to side. “C-Spine’s clear. Doris, get me Xray and Ortho down here.”
“On it!” Doris leaves the room momentarily, before returning back to help. Morgan walks down to Grace’s feet and checks it’s pulse. 
“Need any help in here?” Dr. Halstead’s voice comes up from behind Morgan and she gives out a sigh of relief.
“Dr. Halstead, I need you to help me reset her tibia before it leads to any deficits.” She says to him, not taking her eyes off of Grace. “Where the hell is that xray?!”
“Should be here momentarily, they’re all used up,” Will heads to the side of Grace’s right leg and nods to Morgan.
“Hey Grace, this is going to hurt a lot, but we need to do this, okay?” Grace goes into panic mode and starts shaking her head, tears ferociously gliding down her face. 
“No, please no!”
“Grace, I understand how you might feel right now, but Dr. Halstead and I need to do this. I promise, it’ll take just a few seconds and then we can fix you up.” Without waiting for confirmation from the teenage girl, Morgan nods towards her colleague and together they work. Morgan pulls down on Grace’s leg, maneuvering the tibia back into her leg. Grace lets out a scream, tears moving down her face at a faster rate. “Alright, Grace, we’re all good now.” Xray finally walks in and everyone who is void of a lead apron, moves out of the way.
In the background Maggie reports another incoming, and it pulls the attention of the two doctors. “You got this from here?” Will looks down, aiming the question at Morgan.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll be there to help you when I get Grace up to the OR.” She nods and he places a gentle hand on her arm, her replying with a soft smile. Will walks away from her and she turns back to her patient. Morgan and Doris work on calming her down and prepping her for her trip upstairs. 
“What do you got for me?” Someone from surgery walks up behind Morgan, slightly starting her.
“She has an open fracture to her tibia, we cleaned the wound and maneuvered the bone back into her leg. Her arm has a closed fracture, due to her Xray I’d say she just needs a cast. Her leg, she’s definitely going to need surgery for realignment.” The surgeon, Dr. Lasonde, nods and both she and Morgan work to get Grace upstairs.
Soon Grace is on her way upstairs, her leg and arm placed into splints, and Morgan is throwing her gloves to the ground as she watches Lassonde push the gurney, a frightened Grace on top of it. Running a hand through her hair and giving a sigh out, she thanks the team around her before being rerouted to another person coming through the doors. 
          ❦
Later, as she works at the computer filling out paperwork for Grace, Morgan peers up and notices someone stepping out of Trauma 4 and talking to Mrs. Goodwin.
Connor?
Before Morgan can approach him another team of paramedics walk in with Jamie and Goodwin sends them into a treatment room. Morgan looks down and finishes typing up her charts. “Hey Sharon!” Morgan yells to grab the administrator’s attention and she stops, stepping  beside the curious doctor. “Was that Connor Rhodes?”
“Yeah, he’s the new trauma fellow. You know him?” She looks between the room he stepped in and Dr. Fitzgerald.
“Yeah, I do.” She says absentmindedly, “ Huh, I wonder why he didn’t tell me?” Morgan wonders for a moment before looking back down to the computer screen. “It’s fine, I don’t want to bother him while he’s with a patient.”
“I don’t have to worry about anything do I?” Sharon asks, hoping that drama wasn’t gonna arise between them.
“Oh, of course not! Connor and I have known each other since we were kids, he just didn’t tell me he was being transferred here. Don’t worry Sharon.” Goodwin nods and walks away from Morgan. Then Maggie walks up with a distraught, older white woman. “What can I do for you Mags?” MOrgan finally turns away from the computer and gives the duo her full attention.
“Dr. Fitzgerald, this is Grace’s mom, Candace.” Maggier introduces and Morgan smiles at the woman, holding out a hand for a handshake.
“Is my daughter okay?” Candace asks, fear in her eyes and Morgan does her best to calm her down.
“I can assure you that your daughter is okay. She had a closed fracture in her arm that just needed a cast and her leg had an open fracture. That’s a little more complicated, but she just needs her tibia realigned so she’s in surgery.”
“Surgery?”
“It shouldn’t be too long now, and I am willing to walk you up to wait for her.” Morgan places a gentle touch on Candace’s forearm and beckons her to follow. “Thank you, Maggie. I got her.” Maggie nods and continues her job as a charge nurse. 
As the doctor and patient make their way, Candace begins to ramble. “Grace wasn’t supposed to be on the train today, I was supposed to take her. This is all my fault.”
“Candace. Candace.” Morgan pulls the woman to a stop and looks her in the eye. “It is not your fault, these things just happen. But that’s not what Grace is worried about right now, I’m pretty sure that she just wants to see her mother.” Candace sniffles and reluctantly nods, letting the doctor take her to the waiting room outside Grace’s OR.
          ❦
After doing a few more rounds in the emergency department, Morgan sat herself in the doctor’s lounge, still not able to find time to talk to Connor. Morgan isn’t paying attention to the conversation happening between Natalie and Will, instead focusing on the charts of another one of her patients on the tablet in her hands. 
“You meet the new guy yet? Rhodes?” At her friend’s name leaving Natalie’s lips, Morgan’s head snaps up.
“You could say that.” Will answers back. “Likes to throw his weight around.” He leans back in his chair, his body still facing Natalie. “I don’t know, strikes me as a little arrogant.”
Natalie gives him a little look as she contemplates the words he just said to her. 
“Hey, I am not arrogant.” He scoffs at her, a teasing smile on his face. Morgan rolls her eyes and feels herself getting a little defensive over her old friend.
“No, no. Not at all.” Natalie says, sarcastically, to his remarks. “You just happen to know more than anyone else.” 
“Hey,” Morgan grasps the attention of her friends and colleagues. “I promise Connor isn’t always like that. It was just a stressful situation to be making introductions.” She  says, barely looking up to her colleagues.
“Woah, Connor?” Will questions at the familiarity that Morgan had with his name. He glances at her, waiting for an answer.
“Yeah, Dr. Rhodes. He’s an excellent doctor and he’s great to work with.”
“Have you ever worked with him?” Natalie asks, taking another sip from her water bottle.
“No, I haven’t. But I know him and I promise, he isn’t a dick.” With that Morgan makes her way out of the room, she smiles at Nat and doesn’t spare a look at Will.
          ❦
A few hours later,  Morgan makes her way up to see Grace. She’s up and talking to her mom, a smile on her face.  Morgan knocks at the entrance of the recovery room, peering her head in to take a view at her patient.
“Dr. Fitzgerald!” Candace exclaims, waving the young doctor in. 
“How’s everything going Grace? You look a lot better than when I first saw you.” Morgan glances over her vitals and chart before walking to the unoccupied side of the bed.
“Yeah, I’m doing better. The pain meds are really helping out.” She grins.
“That’s good. It looks like you’re okay for being discharged tomorrow morning. And I will try my hardest to come by and see you off.”
“Thank you Dr. Fitzgerald.” Candace reaches over and clasps Morgan’s hand. “For helping my daughter and for helping me.”
“It’s no problem, really.” She squeezes back before pulling away. “You two have a good night, and just let any of the nurses know if you need anything.” With that Morgan delivers one more smile and heads out of the room.
Now that it was the end of her shift Morgan decided to make finding Connor her number one goal.. She was ready to give up but finally spotted him standing outside a recovery room. She sneaks up beside him and peers in, Jamie is off of the ventilator and Dr. Charles sits beside him watching something on a tablet. Morgan had heard about the operation Jamie had and she could tell that he looked so much better.
“So, when were you gonna tell me that you were coming back to Chicago?” Connor jumps, whipping around to look at the owner of the voice.
“Morgan!” He chuckles out, pulling the doctor into his embrace. She hugs him back before pulling herself out and raising an eyebrow at him.
“So, were you just going to end up on our front doorstep hoping we were gonna take you in?” 
“No, I was going to surprise you. I just wanted to come back, ya know?”
“Yeah, I do. Welcome home Connor.” She gives him a small smile, looking at the one he was returning to her. “Hey, I heard about your comatose patient, sorry about that.”
“Yeah, it was tough, but he helped us save Jamie.”
“That’s good, Jamie’s a good kid. He deserves it.” They both look inside the room for a moment, before Morgan looks down at the watch sitting on her wrist. “Hey, there’s this diner that’s open 24 hours, wanna grab something to eat? Catch up and give you a bit of a rundown on how things are run here at Chicago Med.” 
Connor looks down at Morgan, her head still facing Jamie and Dr. Charles. “Yeah, sure. You buying?” She finally looks up at him with a scoff.
“Yeah right.” The fellow laughs at her and she leads him back to the doctor’s lounge in the ED. Stripping herself of her stethoscope, she places it in the locker, taking a glance of the family picture she had pinned up alongside the picture she had with Connor from her undergrad graduation.
“You hang that up in here?” He gawks at the picture, noticing how much the two of you had grown in the last 7 years.
“Yeah, I did. You are my best friend, besides Hayden of course.” Morgan hangs up the white coat on a hook in the cubby under the locker before continuing her answer,“but even when we were miles apart, you were always there for me.” She softly closes the locker.
“Huh.” He looks at Morgan, coming to the same realization about her.
“Let’s go, I am dying for their mashed potatoes.” He smiles and grabs his belongings before heading out of the lounge with his friend. On the way out the door, they pass Will.
She urges Connor to continue walking as she looks up at her other friend. “Hey Will, I’m sorry for getting all snappy at you earlier. Just got a little overprotective.” Morgan shrugs, placing her hands in her jacket pocket.
“It’s alright, I understand. I’m sorry for putting you in that position.” He nods, looking over the soft smile on her face. 
“You’re okay, Connor has his moments.” 
Will and Morgan were an enigma. They worked well together, everyone could agree on that. And outside of work, they proved to have a level of care for each other as well as always having each other’s backs. With the amount of affection they always seemed to portray to each other, everyone also wondered why they weren’t together. They made a good pair and the blinded love they had for each other was glaringly apparent to outsiders. The two doctors however, never saw it. Will was too hung up on his crush on Natalie and Morgan wasn’t looking for a relationship (the fact that she also dated his brother didn’t help). For now, they would be friends and if the universe allowed for something to happen, the universe would prevail.
“Want to grab something to eat?” Will asks, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his scrubs.
“Actually, I’m the welcoming committee for Dr. Rhodes so I’m taking him to the diner up the street.” Will nods, but dashes his eyes to where Connor is standing. “But tomorrow morning, I’m bringing coffee.” Morgan says, bringing a bigger smile on her face and chuckle to Will.
“Alright then, have a good night Morgan,” he says.
“Night Will, see you tomorrow.” She gives him a quick, small pat on his arm before turning away and walking up to Connor. They two old friends resume their conversation and Will watches the smile on Morgan’s face as she continues walking with the new doctor.
Part Two
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Text
Tequila
A/N: Hello all! My job has been incredibly slow, so good news for me, I can actually get some writing done! I’ve decided to do some songfics. The first one I’m doing is ‘Tequila’ by Dan&Shay (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j8afmT-bLM) with Rami! 
Pairing: Rami Malek x fem!Reader
Summary: You and Rami Malek dated in college, but when things started to blow up, the two of you couldn’t keep it together. 5 Years later, something jogs his memory of you. 
Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Open Ending (is that a warning?) 
Taglist: @astrovcly @queenlover05
“Tequila shots!” Joe proclaimed, putting the four shot glasses on the table. The other three men groaned.
“Joe,” Ben began with an eye roll.
“It’s your guys’ fault. You left me up at the bar alone,” Joe responded, handing the shots to each of them.
“Alright, alright,” Gwil chuckled as he took his glass from Joe.
Rami didn’t say anything. He just stared at the glass. He hadn’t drank tequila in about five years. And there was a reason.
“Y/N!” Rami called when he found you. He slid his hands around your waist and you turned around to face him with a smile.
“One more drink and then we should head up to our room. What do you think?” You ran your hands up his chest and winked. Rami nodded enthusiastically.
You turned back to the bar. “Can I get two tequila and sodas? One with a lime?” You had to yell to the bartender. You swayed along to the music as you waited for your drinks. Rami pulled you close and pressed a kiss to your neck. He was so in love with you. If only he could…
“Rami?” Joe asked, almost nervously. “
Rami shook his head and. He must’ve zoned out.
“Yeah, sorry. Shots, huh?”
“You alright, mate?” Ben frowned at him.
“Totally fine. Let’s do these,” Rami finally grabbed his shot and held it in front of him, waiting for a toast. The other three exchanged glances, but brought their glasses to Rami’s.
“To us, guys. Nobody else I’d like to be pretend rockstars with,” Joe proclaimed.
“Here here,” Gwil agreed.
Ben and Rami made noises of affirmation before all four of them threw the shots back.
And did that shit burn.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with yoooou!” You sang along, drunkenly swaying to the rhythm. You grabbed the bottle of tequila off the counter and took a pull.
Rami chuckled as he watched you.
The two of you were on spring break your senior year of college. Instead of going some place warm like most of your friends, the two of you had decided to go skiing in Colorado. The two of you had even splurged and gotten yourselves a suite.
“Rami, don’t make me drink alone,” you pouted at him and then held out the bottle to him. He took it and took a drink as well, the tequila hitting him now. The two of you were just shy of drunk when you’d gotten back to the room and then had continued drinking some of the liquor that you’d brought with you.
“Ram, will you promise me something?”
“Anything, love.”
You grinned and went into the bedroom.
“What are you doing?” Rami called after you, starting to move towards the room.
“No! I’ll be out in just a sec!”
Rami heard a drawer close and watched as you emerged from the bedroom, holding something behind your back.
Rami smiled at the sight. You’d changed into a t-shirt from the Chi Omega/Sigma Phi Epsilon mixer that the two of you had met at sophomore year. It was still big on you, and came to half way past your thighs that were covered with a pair of boxers that you had stolen from at some point in your relationship. Your hair was still curled from the night out on the town. You still took his breath away, even after almost three years together.
“You’ll always love me, right?” You asked.
“Of course.”
You finally pulled what you’d been hiding behind your back out and Rami burst out laughing.
“A Bible?”
“Yes! I want us to swear we’ll never leave each other! Right now!” You held the Bible out to Rami.
Rami stepped right up to you and placed his right hand on the Bible.
“I swear that I, Rami Said Malek, will never leave you.”
You beamed and pulled him in for a kiss.
“Another round?” Gwil looked around the table.
“Let’s do it!”
“I’ll help you,” Ben jumped up. He and Gwil walked up to the bar.
Joe looked at Rami with a concerned frown. “Dude, what’s going on?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You seem…off tonight.”
Rami shook his head. “I’m fine,” Rami drained his beer as he saw Gwil and Ben come back with their beers. And…
“More shots!” Ben held them up. Rami saw the clear liquid again and groaned internally.
“Alright, tell us what’s going on. You look like somebody just kicked your dog.”
“Joe, stop, alright? It’s nothing.”
Joe held his hands up in surrender. The men threw back their shots, but then Ben picked up the badgering.
“Rami, is something wrong?”
Rami rolled his eyes. “Nothing! Jesus, you guys are more annoying than my mother.”
“We’ll let it drop if you just tell us what’s wrong.”
Rami looked at the three of them. They had all become like brothers during filming. They all looked genuinely concerned about what was bothering him. He hadn’t talked about it in so long…
Rami tried to be quiet as he came inside your shared apartment. He knew he was late, but the director kept making them do the scene over and over again. He couldn’t just leave. He was already preparing for the argument the two of you were bound to have when the lamp flicked on.
You rubbed your eyes and squinted at him until your eyes adjusted. You hummed and stretched.
“Sorry, baby, I must’ve fallen asleep.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Let’s go to bed,” Rami gave you a soft smile, thinking that maybe tonight could go without a fight. Maybe the two of you could just go to bed. He would be happy to take you.
Then you looked at your phone.
You frowned at it and then looked at him.
“It’s nearly two AM, Rami,” your voice was annoyed.
“I…I know. I just…”
“You told me you’d be home not later than midnight. And that was an ‘exaggeration’,” you used air quotes on the last word to remind him that he was the one that said that.
“Sugar, the…”
“Don’t you do that,” you spat. ‘Sugar’ was what he called you when it was just the two of you, usually when you were being intimate.
Rami sighed, raised and dropped his arms in defeat. “What do you want from me, Y/N? An apology? I’m sorry I’m so late. It truly wasn’t supposed to last…”
“This long,” you finished with him. “It never is. Never,” you turned away from him and folded your arms around yourself. “Let’s just go to bed.”
“Wait, can we talk about this?” Rami was hoping that maybe if you yelled at him for a bit you could make up and you wouldn’t be so mad at him.
You turned back towards him and you didn’t look mad. You looked tired. Not just because of the time. You seemed tired of the conversation the two of you were about to have.
“Talk about what, Rami? How you’re late? Again? How I waited up for you, again? How things have just totally changed all of a sudden?”
“I finally have a steady acting job and what? You’re upset about that? I thought you of all people would be happy for me!”
“I am! I am happy for you, but I…I don’t know if I can keep up.”
Rami stared at you. “What does that mean?”
Tears came to your eyes and you tried to blink them away. You’d been thinking about it for a while now. The two of you barely saw each other anymore. And when you did, you were fighting.
“I…I mean…maybe…this life just…I…” You couldn’t pick a sentence and go with it.
Rami’s expression hardened. “I come home late a couple of times, and now you want to leave?” His voice was colder than you had ever heard it.
“It’s not just that!” The tears in your eyes had started to fall. “ It’s the late nights, the people stopping us in the street,your new attitude you have, the new so called friends you have!”
“Oh, so now you hate my friends!?”
“Those new assholes that are around all of a sudden are not your friends! They’re using you!”
Rami shook his head with a humorless chuckle. “Alright, babe, you know what? We’re both tired. Let’s just…”
“NO!” Suddenly you were fuming. He’s the one that wanted to hear what your problems were. These were them. “You wanted to fucking talk about it, let’s talk! Why do you think they’re your friends now, huh? They wouldn’t give a shit if you weren’t an actor!”
Rami stared at you as if you’d slapped him. “Wow, Y/N, just…fucking wow. You think that little of me, huh?”
“What’s not what I said.”
“No, no, you just said that people who are around me only like me because I’m an actor. That must mean you, too, right?”
It was your turn to feel slapped.
“You’re kidding, right? Jesus, Rami, I’ve been with you since COLLEGE!”
“You know, you weren’t complaining about my ‘asshole’ friends when we were going on trips with them. It was all fun and games until it was inconvenient for you, huh? Now you just have nothing to do but sit at home and wait for me and…”
“When did your ego get so fucking inflated?! Do you honestly think that I just wait…”
“No, but if I’m even ten minutes late you’re down my fucking throat!”
“Two hours is a hell of a lot different from ten minutes! Sami’s noticed it too, by the way!”
Rami’s face fell completely and then his voice was deathly quiet. “You and Sami have been talking about me?”
“We’re worried about you,” your voice softened, hoping that he would listen if you did that.
“Worried?” Rami scoffed and his eyes seemed to burn with fury. “You’re jealous! I’ve finally made something of myself and I don’t need you around anymore!”
That took your breath away, and not in a good way.
“You don’t…” your voice broke for a moment. You cleared your throat. You hoped in the quiet Rami would realize what he said and take it back. No such luck. “Fine, Rami, if you don’t need me around, I’ll just go.” You pushed past him to put your shoes on.
You were mentally preparing to tell your sister why you were going to show up at her place at 2:30 in the morning when you felt Rami grab your wrist.
“Sugar, don’t go, I…I’m sorry.”
You ripped your hand away. You wanted to forgive him, but the look on his face and his tone of voice when he said it... You knew he actually believe it. He didn’t need, or want, you around anymore.
“I’m gonna go,” you whispered, slipping your shoes on. You didn’t notice Rami had moved in front of the door.
“Y/N,” you saw tears swimming in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it! Of course I need you. Baby, please,” Rami fell to his knees wrapped his arms around your waist. “P…please, don’t go.”
Your tears continued to fall as you ranked his fingers through his curls. You knew it would be the last time.
“I have to,” you unwrapped his arms from you and stepped around him, walking out into the mild New York night.
Rami wasn’t sure how much later it was, but he finally got up off his knees. He walked over to the freezer and pulled the bottle of tequila out and took a long pull. Then another. And another.
“She didn’t come back after that. Sent her sister to come get her stuff. Her sister gave me a letter,” Rami drained his beer. The whole table was silent now. “A fucking letter basically telling me how much of a son of a bitch I’d been.”
“Mate,” Ben tried to begin, but Rami held his hand up and shook his head.
“She was right. I’d changed. I talked to Sami and Jasmine, they’d seen it too. I didn’t mean to. It just…happened.”
“Come on, man,” Joe clapped Rami on the back. “We all change.”
Rami just shook his head again.
“Who needs another one?” Rami held up his empty beer bottle. Everybody said they needed one, so Gwil went up to the bar with Rami to help carry the drinks.
“Have you tried to reach out to her?”
Rami sighed. “No, last I heard she was still in the city, still working as a nurse.”
“Do you know which hospital?”
“Haven’t tried to figure it out, to be honest. She wanted to walk away. I don’t blame her.”
“But you’re clearly still hung up on her. She might feel the same way about you.”
“I appreciate that, but she shouldn’t. She should be with somebody who…”
“Can I get a vodka soda with a twist, please?” A voice from down the bar carried over.
Rami would know that voice in his sleep. He turned towards the voice and saw your profile. His heart started pounding in his chest. You hadn’t noticed him yet. He watched as another bartender made you your drink. Since when did you drink vodka?
You thanked the bartender, told him to add it to your tab, and started to walk away. Rami felt almost a magnetic pull to follow you.
“Rami?” He heard somebody (Gwil?) say behind him, but he didn’t care. He followed you to a table with about four other women, but Rami didn’t look at them. His gaze was fixed on you.
Finally (FINALLY), you turned around and met his eyes.
You nearly dropped your glass. You hadn’t seen him since…well, in person. You watched everything he’d been in. Every interview you could watch on TV and Youtube. You couldn’t help the sense of pride that always swelled in your chest when you saw him. There was also sorrow. You missed him like hell. You missed him so much it ached.
“I…I thought you’d moved back to LA,” you whispered, not sure if he heard. It was the first thing you could think of to say.  
“I did, I’m, just in town for a press junket,” Rami’s voice was equally as quiet. You were both sure the other could hear your heart trying to beat out of your respective chests.
You nodded, head still slightly swimming with the confusion of seeing him. You needed a drink. You took a long pull from whatever was in your hand. You didn’t taste it at all, but it helped slightly.
When you did that, something caught Rami’s eye. On your left hand. It sparkled, even in the low bar lights. His heart stopped. You were…married. For some reason he felt like his world was crashing down. Not knowing either way was alright, but now? To have it shoved in his face that you were married? It broke his heart all over again.
You noticed Rami fixate on your ring and you hid it behind you. You weren’t sure why. The two of you had been broken up for years. Why did you feel guilty?
“A…are you married?”
“This is her bachelorette party!” One of the women exclaimed, clearly already enjoying herself a little too much. Another woman who had known you and Rami quieted her down.
“I…um…I’m getting married. Next month,” you replied sheepishly.
Rami stared at you for a long moment, his big blue eyes boring into yours. Almost like he was waiting for you to explain yourself.
“Wow. That’s…wow. Congrats,” Rami fixed a stiff smile on his face. He maybe a great actor, but you could tell it was fake.
“Thank you,” you offered him a small smile.
“I um…I should get back to my friends,” Rami offered lamely.
“Oh,” your heart longed for you to reach out to him. To hold him. To run your fingers through his overgrown curls. God, you hadn’t seen it grown out like that since college. “Um…yeah, okay. It was really good to see you.”
“Yeah, you too,” Rami’s smile changed to something more sorrowful, but at least it was genuine this time.
Rami turned and walked back to the table.
“Dude,” Joe whispered.
“Yeah,” Rami took his beer that Gwil had brought to the table and drank about half of it in one go. 
On the other side of the bar, you watched Rami interact with his friends. He seemed…mostly happy. Good for him.
“Did you really date him?” Kelley, one of your bridesmaids that you’d worked with the past couple of years, asked you.
You looked at her and sighed. “Yeah, I did. For a while. He’s…he’s how I ended up here. We were living together and he was filming…”
Danielle, the only one that had known you and Rami together, put a soothing hand on your arm.
“I can’t believe you LIVED with him!” Marci shouted. Marci had enjoyed more alcohol than anybody.
“Sh,” you hissed at her before looking over at Rami’s table. You knew he couldn’t hear, but when you looked over there, you were met with Rami’s stare again.
He was looking over at your table. You all seemed to be enjoying yourselves, but then you looked over at him. His heart rate increased again. You turned away quickly.
You took a shot that had been brought to the table.
“I…I have to go to the bathroom,” you told nobody in particular and stood up.
“Want one of us to come with you?” Randi, your soon-to-be sister-in-law, asked.
“No, no, I’m good,” you told her and walked towards the bathroom. You really wanted some time to collect your thoughts.
Rami watched you get up and walk away from the table. He shouldn’t do it, he knew he shouldn’t, but the alcohol was making him less in control of his impulses. He quickly stood and followed you towards the general direction of the bathrooms.
“Where are you going?” Ben asked him,but Rami didn’t respond, he just followed you.
You were about to step into the bathroom when you felt somebody grab your hand and spin you around.
“Hey what are you…?”
“Y/N,” Rami stared at you, his eyes tracing your face.
“Rami,” you breathed out. He was so close to you you could feel his breath on your face.
“I…I know it’s too late, but for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry.”
“Sorry about what?”
“The way I was acting that lead to us…our…the fight.”
You noticed that Rami’s hand was still around your wrist. You wondered if he could feel the uptick in your pulse (he could).
“I…um…d…didn’t handle it well either.” Had Rami gotten closer? You were pressed up against the wall and Rami was nearly pressed against you. “I’m sorry too.”
Rami’s eyes just continued to look over your face. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Maybe he was just committing it to memory. All he knew was that he couldn’t look away.
“Y/N, I…I know I can’t…I can’t change anything. And, I see that you’re happy with this…new guy,” Rami started.
“His name’s James, he’s a doctor at the hospital.” You don’t know why you felt the need to explain to Rami who he was.
“James, huh? Well, he’s a lucky guy,” Rami knew he should pull away. He shouldn’t be leaning into you more. He shouldn’t be thinking about taking you back to his hotel room and trying to make up for that fight.
“I um…I…” you gulped. It was taking all your control not to grab him and kiss him.
Rami gave you a smirk. He sort of hated how happy it made him that you were still a little nervous around him.
“Y/N?”
Rami jumped back and you both looked down to see Randi staring at you both.
“We uh…should probably get going,” Randi’s voice was hard.
“Yeah, of course. Rami and I were just catching up.”
“Alright, well, I think that’s enough of that. We should get going.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there,” you smiled at her, hoping she would go away.
“We’ll be waiting,” she turned around, leaving you and Rami alone again.
Rami looked at you and raised an eyebrow.
“I…um…I should really get going, Ram.”
“Yeah, I…uh…I should probably go too.”
But neither of you made a motion to move.
“Well, bye,” you offered him your hand.
Rami looked at your hand then back up to your face. “Really? A handshake?”
You chuckled and opened your arms. Rami fell into them and held you close. It felt like coming home. You could smell his cologne a feel all of his warmth. It made you miss him even more.
“I’ll be in town for a couple more days. The Waldorf,” Rami whispered in your ear before he pressed a kiss to your temple. He pulled away and gave you a smile. A real one. One that made your heart melt. “Maybe we’ll see each other later on, Sugar.”
You bit your bottom lip and nodded at him. Him using that nickname just wasn’t fair “Yeah, maybe.”
Rami walked away and you watched him, trying hard not to chase after him.
You walked over to your table and Randi looked you up and down.
“So, how was he?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The two of you looked VERY close is what I’m talking about.”
You rolled your eyes and pulled your coat on. You were not going to get into it with her.
“Nothing happened, Randi. Let’s get going. Marci looks like she’s about to pass out.”
You weren’t wrong. Marci’s head was on the table and she was groaning.
“Let’s get going.”
You all stood up, Kelley and Danielle supporting Marci. You cast one more glance at Rami’s table, they all seemed to be looking at you. You quickly looked away and Randi grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the bar and into the waiting car.
“Thank you, ladies!” You called to Danielle as she helped Marci up to their apartment.
It was just you and Randi in the car now (Kelley lived just a couple blocks away from the bar so she was dropped off first).
“So, now that it’s just us, can I ask you a question?” Randi turned to look at you in her seat.
“Sure?” You were pretty sure she was still drunk, but weren’t about to argue.
“Are you going to leave my brother for that actor?”
“Wh…what are you talking about?” You started sweating.
“Look, Y/N, you’ve been with my brother for almost three years. You’ve never looked at him the way you were looking at that guy. And I’ve seen you two in a LOT of different…situations.”
“Randi, I…”
She held her hand up and stared at you hard.
“You still love him. I get it. Just…let James down easy, okay?” 
When Randi said ‘him’, you weren’t sure if she meant James or Rami.
“No, no, I’m not…”
“Next stop,” the driver turned back towards the two of you.
Randi gave you a small smile, then leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Love you, not matter what,” was all she said before she got out of the car, paying her portion of the fare, and then going inside her apartment building.
“And where are we taking you tonight?”
You paused and thought about it. You should go back to your apartment, go to sleep, and just wait for Rami’s new movie to come out to see him again.
“Miss, I can’t go anywhere if you don’t tell me where to go.”
You opened your mouth to say your address, but what came out was…
“The Waldorf Hotel, please.”
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starrybouquet · 4 years
Text
it’s quiet uptown
So...I did not mean to start writing fanfic, and I never imagined I’d write enough to need multiple chapters. It just sort of...happened.
This fic started off as a what-if story for season 6's Redemption, based on one simple question: what if they hadn’t spotted Jack’s parachute in Redemption Pt. 2?
But as time went on, it grew into a love letter to Stargate fandom and the SJ fandom in particular. Hopefully, you'll catch the traditional references to canon throwaway lines, the traditional fanon, and references to many a tumblr thread. I'd love to know what you all recognize. :D
Read on AO3 (you’ll need to be signed in) or under the cut below.
chapter 1: there are moments that the words don't reach
“This is Observer One. Visual confirmation. The X-302 has entered the hyperspace window.”
Sam reached for her headset. “Colonel? Colonel? Do you read?” She was aware of everyone’s eyes on her, and hoped to God that her voice didn’t sound as shaky as she thought it did.
The neon green countdown blazed on, even as all other motion in the room seemed to come to a stop. The milliseconds flashed by. Sam bit her lip as the countdown halted at 00:00:00.00. 
“This is Observer One…there is no sign of a chute. There is, however, a light show going on up here.” In the silence of the observation room, the crackle of the speaker made the words sound callous, mechanical.
“It worked! Deep Space is estimating that the Gate detonated over 3 million miles from Earth,” Walter reported, excitement muted by the uncertainty of Colonel O’Neill’s fate. Sam barely registered the sentence. She closed her eyes, willing the chute to appear. Please, please, please…
“This is Observer Two. Still no sign of a chute. I repeat, no sign of a chute. Mission command, there’s nothing up here.”
The sound of the speaker pierced the tension like a needle popping a balloon. The uncertain, unspoken hope seemed to seep out of the room, leaving only sorrow in its wake.
Slowly, voices broke the silence. Tentative search and rescue plans were suggested, calls to the President and the Pentagon made. The scientists tried in vain to figure out if Colonel O’Neill could have been knocked off course if he’d been too close to the hyperspace window, but the satellites still showed nothing. The truth was there was an overwhelming possibility he simply hadn’t managed to get out of the X-302 in time. 
Sam lasted an hour. She managed to escape the room of exhausted, relieved, mournful lab coats with only a short nod to General Hammond, who looked at her with sympathy and told her to go get some rest. She barely held it together as she stopped by her locker to grab her keys, not bothering to change into civvies and trying not to see Daniel and Teal'c and the Colonel's lockers, sitting there as if nothing had changed. 
She thought she'd be able to let it out once she got home, but the same desperate emptiness continued. It was better than being on base with all eyes on her, but the desperation and terror followed her, as if she wasn't allowed to feel here either. The silence was oppressive, everything too immaculate, too quiet.
She knew where she wanted to go. She could almost feel a physical pull towards the place, the solid house with its yellow kitchen and backyard forest and comfortable, slightly haphazard sofas. Instinctively, she stiffened against the idea, knowing how it would look, not wanting to admit to herself why she wasn’t comfortable in her own home. But the tug persisted.
Finally, Sam gave in. He's dead, three million miles away. The Stargate is gone anyway. Nobody will care. Not bothering to collect her cell phone or pager from the counter, she drove to Jack's house on autopilot, hastily unlocked the door with the key marked J on her keyring, and stepped inside.
The aroma of the house hit her like a physical blow--pine and sandalwood and a hint of Jack's cologne--the kind he wore Earthside. Sam closed the front door and leaned against it, and the tears came. She slid down the door until she was curled against it as her body was wracked with sobs. 
She cried not for her team, but for her family, because that was what SG-1 had become over the past five-odd years. For Daniel, closer to her than her own brother, her partner-in-crime in all things academic and the most open-hearted, curious person she'd ever known. Technically Ascended, but as good as dead to his friends--he couldn't work through the night with her, couldn't secretly stuff his extra coffee supply in their packs, couldn't give an impromptu lecture on some obscure ancient mythology and its connection to the Goa'uld. 
For Teal'c, who without a Stargate could never return to Earth. Whose wife was dying. Dead? She'd never know, Sam realized. She'd never see him again either, her wise, thoughtful, loyal friend, who conveyed far more with a single word than most did with a hundred.
For Jack, the only man she'd ever really been in love with, who had been through so much, given so much, and continually believed he deserved so little. Who’d made her laugh, made her think, given her confidence. The intrepid leader of their little family, the heart and soul and deep down inside the most optimistic of all of them, even if he’d never admit it.
And Sam cried for herself, too. The one left behind.
The sobs quieted and then there were only tears streaming down her cheeks, ones she couldn't stop, and then her eyes ran out of tears and her cheeks dried a bit, until they felt sticky rather than wet. Sam sat like that for a while, staring sightlessly into the house, back still pressed rather uncomfortably against the door.
When it was too painful to sit curled up on the floor any longer, she stood stiffly, went to the kitchen, and got a glass of water.
Sam didn't remember moving there, but she ended up in Jack's bedroom. She'd only been in there a few times before--a few times when Jack was injured and Janet kicked him out of the infirmary, and SG-1 was taking turns caring for him, and one team night where Teal'c had gone to kel'no'reem a bit too early and her, Jack, and Daniel had gotten rather drunk and decided it would be much better to watch TV in Jack's bedroom, all three adults squished on the bed. Generally, for obvious reasons, she'd tried to avoid the room, but she found herself sliding between the covers, burying her face in the Jack-scented pillows, hiding from the sun and the day in general in a very un-Carter-like manner. She loved him, she missed him, and she'd never see him again. There hadn't been a parachute. Funny how all those things she never allowed herself to think about came to the surface, now when it didn't matter anymore. Everyone who mattered had known for years.
The tears came again, and she cried herself to sleep.
***
That was how Janet found her, having begged General Hammond to let her off a few hours early. He'd acquiesced fairly quickly, obviously concerned for Sam as well, though neither mentioned her by name. When Sam hadn't answered her phone or pager, Janet had driven to her house, then to Daniel's apartment (not yet cleaned out), and finally to Jack's house.
"Oh, Sam, honey," she murmured, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Motherly instincts taking over, Janet pulled the blankets over her sleeping friend, tucking her in like she used to tuck in Cassie.
Then, she headed down to the kitchen to cook dinner. Sam could use some comfort food when she woke up, and god knew she couldn’t cook it herself.
***
Thirty miles above Colorado Springs, unbeknownst to the SGC, four Jaffa manhandled an unconscious Jack O’Neill into a holding cell, then clunked away.
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maeoncascade · 2 months
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Cost of Living in Luxury Apartments vs. Standard Rentals in Colorado Springs | Mae On Cascade
Colorado Springs, nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, offers a diverse range of rental options catering to different lifestyles and budgets. For those considering a move to this vibrant city, the choice between luxury apartments and standard rentals can significantly impact both comfort and finances.
Luxury Apartments in Colorado Springs
Luxury apartments in Colorado Springs redefine modern living with their upscale amenities and prime locations. Typically located in desirable neighborhoods such as downtown or near scenic parks, these residences boast high-end finishes, spacious floor plans, and state-of-the-art facilities. Whether you're looking for a studio, one-bedroom, or multi-bedroom unit, luxury rentals offer a blend of elegance and convenience.
Rental prices for luxury apartments in Colorado Springs reflect these premium features. A one-bedroom luxury apartment can range from $1,500 to $2,500 per month, depending on location and amenities. For a spacious two-bedroom unit, expect to pay between $2,000 to $3,500 monthly. These prices position luxury apartments as a choice for those seeking comfort, style, and proximity to urban conveniences.
Standard Rentals in Colorado Springs
In contrast, standard rentals in Colorado Springs cater to a broader spectrum of budgets and preferences. These apartments are often found in residential areas further from downtown or major attractions. While generally more affordable than luxury options, standard rentals offer essential amenities and a comfortable living space suitable for individuals or families.
Rent for standard one-bedroom apartments typically ranges from $1,000 to $1,800 per month, while two-bedroom units can vary between $1,300 to $2,500 monthly. These rentals appeal to renters prioritizing cost-effectiveness without compromising basic living standards.
Making the Choice
When deciding between luxury and standard rentals in Colorado Springs, consider your lifestyle preferences and financial capabilities. Luxury apartments offer a premium living experience with added benefits such as fitness centers, concierge services, and panoramic views, ideal for those willing to invest in quality living. Conversely, standard rentals provide affordability and practicality, making them suitable for budget-conscious individuals or families.
For those seeking luxury apartments for rent in Colorado Springs, The Mae on Cascade stands out as an excellent choice. Located in a prime downtown area, The Mae on Cascade offers luxurious amenities, spacious floor plans, and a vibrant community atmosphere. Whether you're looking for a studio, one-bedroom, or two-bedroom apartment, The Mae on Cascade provides an unmatched living experience in Colorado Springs.
In conclusion, the cost of living in luxury apartments versus standard rentals in Colorado Springs varies significantly based on amenities, location, and personal preferences. Whether you prioritize luxury or affordability, Colorado Springs offers diverse rental options to suit every lifestyle.
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vimnorwood · 1 month
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Best Neighborhoods for Affordable Rentals in Downtown Colorado Springs: A Local’s Perspective | VIM
If you’re searching for affordable rentals in downtown Colorado Springs, you’re in for a treat. This lively city offers numerous options for new apartments, with a variety of floor plans to suit different needs. Here’s a local’s perspective on the best neighborhoods and what they offer.
1. Central Downtown
Central Downtown Colorado Springs is a prime area for finding new apartments Colorado Springs. The neighborhood features a mix of new apartments downtown Colorado Springs that offer modern amenities at reasonable rates. Whether you’re interested in studio apartments Colorado Springs or 1 bedroom apartments Colorado Springs, Central Downtown provides plenty of affordable options. The area’s walkability and proximity to shops and public transport make it an ideal location for urban living.
2. Old Colorado City
Just a short drive from downtown, Old Colorado City is perfect for those seeking charm and affordability. This area offers a range of apartment floor plans, including 1 bedroom apartment floor plans and 2 bedroom apartment floor plans. You can find both 1 bedroom apartments for rent and 2 bedroom apartments for rent here, catering to various needs and budgets. The neighborhood’s historic atmosphere and local amenities make it a desirable option.
3. Manitou Springs
A bit further from the hustle of downtown, Manitou Springs is a quaint town with affordable rental options. If you’re interested in studio apartments for rent, this area offers several choices with beautiful mountain views. The serene environment combined with competitive pricing makes Manitou Springs a great choice for those seeking a peaceful retreat while still being close to downtown.
4. Broadmoor
Broadmoor, while a bit more residential, offers excellent value for those looking to stay near downtown Colorado Springs. The neighborhood features new apartments Colorado Springs, including a variety of studio apartment floor plans and 2 bedroom apartment floor plans. Broadmoor’s residential feel combined with its proximity to downtown amenities makes it a practical choice for both singles and families.
VIM Apartments: Your Top Choice
Among these neighborhoods, VIM Apartments emerge as one of the best-rated apartments near me. VIM Apartments are renowned for offering some of the best affordable apartment for rent in Colorado Springs. With options ranging from studio apartments Colorado Springs to larger 2 bedroom apartments Colorado Springs, VIM Apartments provide versatile choices that cater to different needs. Their modern amenities and well-maintained properties ensure a high quality of life at an affordable price.
In summary, Downtown Colorado Springs and its surrounding neighborhoods offer a wealth of affordable rental options. Whether you’re looking for new apartments downtown Colorado Springs or exploring nearby areas like Old Colorado City and Manitou Springs, you’ll find plenty of choices. For the best value, VIM Apartments are highly recommended for their affordability and quality.
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driverdefens · 8 months
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Affordable Student Housing Options in Colorado Springs
Memories begin when you move into Live Thelodges's student housing in Colorado Springs. They are the top quality UCCS off-campus student housing in a convenient location just minutes from campus. Students enjoy their spacious apartments or townhomes.
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injeok-blog · 6 years
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Roh Suha: Survey
What is your character’s name? Nickname?
Birth name: Roh Suha English name: Susan Roh Nickname: Sue/Su
Does your character have any birthmarks? Scars? How did they get them?
No birthmarks. A few moles on body: back of right calf, left ankle, hip, ring finger. Only scars to note are a burn the size of a kidney bean on her knee, several mosquito bites on her legs, and scratch-marks on her left wrist from a minor fall she’d taken off the back of her second boyfriend’s bike.
Who are your character’s family? Are they close?
Father: Roh “Jimmy” Joohyuk, 74. Chairman and Co-founder of Oh+Roh Architects. Member of the Architectural Institue of Korea and the Korea Institute of Architects. Lecturer at University of Seoul. Warm persona despite tight-lipped face and towering disposition. Level-headed, with the comportment of a monk. Suha is very close to him and admires him most.
Mother: Heo Yeeun, 70. Recently retired anesthesiologist. Practical but emotions are in constant flux. Known to hold grudges. Spends most of her time these days hiking and photographing nature. Hopes to see one of her photos published in the National Geographic someday. Suha is fairly close to her, but they do butt heads from time to time.
Younger brother: Roh Suhyun, 32. Hair stylist. Unabashedly outspoken. Bright, feigns idiocy. In a long-term relationship with boyfriend from university—they had been fellow pre-law students (before Suhyun dropped out to pursue his current line of work). Scares Suha because his intuition is always fuckin’ spot-on. Suha is very close to him.
Describe your character’s closest friends/types of people they surround themselves by.
Suha keeps a large circle of friends around her at all times but the majority of her friendships are superficial/prolonged only by some lingering sense of obligation and because sometimes you need to get out of the house and see someone other than your whining kid or your husband’s dumb face. Regularly lunches with work friends (current coworkers, former employees who moved on to start their own practices, clients she clicked with) or classmates from SNU and Cornell. Suhyun is her best friend. Her neighbor, Heesun used to work alongside Sewon until she decided restaurant business was more her flavor please don’t mind the pun. Together they bitch about him with reckless abandon.
Where was your character born? Where have they lived? Where do they call home?
Born and raised in Seoul. Father was just starting to get a name for himself, mother had just started residency at the hospital. Home was a small apartment in a well-to-do neighborhood south of the Han. Six years later, family moved to a slightly larger unit just a few streets away, to accommodate for another little one. Family’s final move took place after Suha’s matriculation to SNU, to a single-story home in Yongsan-gu designed by Suha’s father.
Lived in NYC for a few years after graduating. Lived in Ithaca, New York, to finish a master’s program. Returned to Seoul and lived with family for another two years until engagement in 2010. Commissioned a fellow architect/former classmate to design a small house in Hannam-dong, where she stayed with husband until their separation in 2016. Currently living in a two-bedroom loft in Daechi-dong.
Where does your character go when they’re angry?
To the office. To the gym. Work and working out are the only two things that will take her mind off her boiling rage.
Does your character have any phobias?
Gets squeamish at the sight of blood.
Describe your character’s most meaningful past relationships.
Wouldn’t consider any of the relationships that came before her marriage meaningful—just necessary learning experiences.
Age 17: Her first boyfriend. Stupid attractive and otherwise completely vacuous and unable to hold a conversation. 3 months.
Age 20: A heartthrob (none of her friends agreed with her on that) from Busan. Stoic, short of words. A truly fear-inspiring face, with a protruding jaw, high cheekbones, and long monolids. Emotionally unavailable unless drunk, which was most of the time anyway so maybe in retrospect he was actually very emotionally present. Helped her mature. 2 years.
Age 23: A go-getter. Felt like she was constantly in competition with this guy. Unhealthy relationship, but did get her past her career slump/minor existentialism. 1 year.
Age 27: An Asian-American guy from Denver, Colorado. Enthusiastic, spontaneous, and fun-loving—but a total smart alec. 7 months.
What’s in your character’s refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? On their nightstand? In their bag/wallet? In their garbage can?
Fridge: Two tupperwares of banchan: kimchi and pan-fried potatoes with pepper. A carton of eggs. Leftover shrimp vindaloo from yesterday’s lunch. A drawer full of vegetables: cucumber, radish, spring onions, kale, broccoli, asparagus. A drawer full of fruits: strawberries, blueberries, apples, pears, grapes, melons. Whole milk plain yogurt. A carton of coconut water and two bottles of sparkling.
Bedroom floor: Hardwood floors and a pewter cowhide rug.
Nightstand: A lamp and a Byredo candle, Tree House scented.
Bag: iPhone, keys, wallet (+ daughter’s photo at eighteen months), two pens, a pack of mints, tissues, two hair ties, Sensai lipstick in #16, Garrett Leight sunglasses, ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, a fine-tooth comb, a few spare pads, her business card, a compact, hand lotion, band-aids, tweezers, and two flash drives.
Garbage: Banana peels and other miscellaneous food compost.
Look at your character’s feet. Describe what you see there. Does your character wear dress shoes, gym shoes, no shoes? Ratty socks, or slippers knit by grandma?
Manicured toes unpainted thank you very much under white socks under The Row white lace-up sneakers.
When your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it?
Sesame oil comes to mind first and foremost—mom had always been liberal with it. Spice did not feature heavily in the diet as both her parents and brother had a low tolerance for it (much to the chagrin of Suha’s bolder palate), so chicken soup and other clear broth-based meals were customary.
Your character is doing intense spring cleaning. What is easy for them to throw out? What’s difficult for them to part with?
No sweat: most everything printed on A4; tabloid magazines; Christmas cards; anything that’s been relegated to the Reject portion of her closet; discolored/damaged cook and bakeware; museum pamphlets; airplane tickets; electronics; gifted perfumes
Second thoughts: cookbooks that she’s been meaning to flip through; kid’s crafts projects; baby shoes; high school mixtapes; polaroid photographs; dad’s handwritten letters, sent during her studies abroad; vintage hand-me-downs from mom
It’s Saturday at noon. What is your character doing?
Finishing up a morning bikram yoga class; picking up Saeeun from Sewon’s for some wholesome mother-daughter grocery shopping; fixing a simple lunch or cutting up fruit while Saeeun’s occupied with the iPad.
Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?
Likely checking out the opening for a new shop or show—alone, now. Black’s the easiest and the first thing she’ll reach for until she remembers that Maison Margiela dress she’d plucked off the off-season rack last Sunday.
What is your character’s greatest regret(s)?
Not speaking up for a girl who’d been ostracized from her third grade class for having cleft lip. Not being able to provide a full family for Saeeun. Letting her marriage break down—not having done more.
Is there anything your character was/is currently obsessed with?
Speed-walking on a 5% incline on the treadmill; using her milk frother for perfect vanilla lattes; (dancing to) old bossa nova records.
What is the trait your character likes most about themselves? Likes least?
The good: integrity. Probably her guiding principle. The work relationships she fosters, the foundations for a new plan, the flatware on her table, the food she puts into her body, the specs on her car, the hairstyle she decides on for Saeeun. Everything requires a heavy dose of intentionality and integrity.  
The bad: impatience. Her tendency towards perfectionism manifests in other, less productive (re: destructive) ways. Has a hard time keeping that fuse unlit.
Does your character have any medical problems?
Suffered some hair loss back in university thanks to a crippling case of clinical depression (lost another good chunk from the anxiety wrought by the hair loss itself), but the time’s passed and her follicles are in tip-top shape along with the rest of her health.
What kind of car does your character drive?
2015 BMW 3 Series Sedan in black.
What fragrance(s) does your character use?
Imaginary Authors’ Saint Julep (2017) is the current casual go-to—sweet mint, tangerine, bourbon, and sugar cube. Her classic pick is MEMO’s Moon Fever (2007)—bitter orange, lemon, sage, vetiver, leather, and tonka bean.
Does your character own any pets?
No. But her brother and his partner own a massive chow chow named Diablo, who also happens to be the sole reason she never visits. It’s essentially wild. How they manage to keep it on a leash is beyond fathoming.
Describe your character’s educational and work background.
Education: Public school, then foreign language school. Always kept to herself. Selfishly smart, why don’t you share, kids used to say. Finally took a peek out of the shell over the course of her short-lived first relationship. Crawled out of it for good and let all hell loose after getting The Acceptance Letter, i.e. the crowning achievement of her childhood. Nearly flunked out of SNU her first year but cleaned up her act and just barely made it to Dean’s List. Her reputation at work/shining referrals thereafter landed her a place in the graduate architecture program at Cornell.
Static work history: Oh+Roh (Seoul), Partner, 2014– Oh+Roh (Seoul), Senior Manager, 2012–2014 Oh+Roh (Seoul), Senior Architect, 2009–2012 Oh+Roh (Seoul), Architect, 2008–2009 Richard Meier & Partners (NYC), Architect, 2004–2006 Richard Meier & Partners (NYC), Architectural Intern, 2003–2004 Oh+Roh Architects (Seoul), Architectural Intern, 2002–2003
What did your character grow up dreaming of becoming?
An ice cream store owner. Then a rocket scientist.
How good of a singer is your character? Dancer?
She can carry a melody, but there’s no technical finesse to her delivery. Never had time to humor afternoon noraebang trips. Solid dancing skills. Took ballet as a kid and picked up dance again after grad school as a fitness hobby.
What is your character’s political affiliation?
Left-leaning. Voted for her girl Sim Sangjung in the 2017 election.
Which countries has your character been to?
For school: USA For work: USA, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Denmark, Switzerland, France, Brazil, Mexico For leisure: USA, Japan, China, Hong Kong, France, Germany, UK, Italy, Spain
What cuisine is your character’s favorite? Dish? Dessert?
Cuisine: Mexican, Indian, Sichuan Dish: Galbi-jjim Dessert: Mango sticky rice
Does your character have a sweet tooth?
Unfortunately. Has to keep herself in check.
What genre of film does your character enjoy?
Animation. Must have been Saeeun’s doing. Before her, it’d probably been crime or action or thrillers but she also could just be making this all up.
What are some of your character’s pet peeves?
People who interrupt (hypocrite), bad table manners, slow walkers (especially the ones that refuse to walk in a straight line so it becomes impossible to pass), “irregardless” and “I could care less”, humble bragging.
What are some of your character’s bad habits?
“I told you so”, never admitting that she’s wrong or apologizing when it’s too late, pulling out her phone at any given moment.
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dzpenumbra · 2 years
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8/29/22
Things are changing a bit in the old noggin. It's nice to have a journal to look back and see how it this shift progresses. I'm pretty sure it happens every year around mid-August. Maybe it's the change of seasons, maybe it's the upcoming anniversaries of some big losses. I don't know. I don't feel like it's always been like this, but maybe I just started noticing it recently, hard to tell. Maybe it's like when you notice a scuff mark on your wall or something and then suddenly it's the first thing you see it every time you look.
I know I have pretty profound changes from Spring into Summer. In Winter, I tend to hole up or snowskate, focus on comforts. In Spring, I get really antsy and start getting big plans together. Summer, I tend to be outdoors as much as possible and barefoot unless legally required to wear shoes (or skateboarding). Fall tends to be preparing for hibernation basically. Even if I'm going to be skating in the Winter - and God knows I will be, so I really need to remind myself of that every day and get pumped, this season is gonna kick ass! - I still tend to prepare for isolation. Short days, long nights, cold, solo skating (haven't had anyone to skate with in an embarrassingly long time), solo chillin (unless someone wants to game).
So maybe it's the preparation that's psyching me out, because preparation is a transition. Transition is the death of the past, and this is gonna be a BIG transition.
I'm really sad to say it, but I think I'm going to have to give up on the art/music/writing/streaming for the 14928th time. Maybe for good this time. With that is going to likely include moving to an apartment building in an urban area. I used to live in this city back... when George W. Bush was in office... Yeah... So... It's been a minute...
I have only lived in one city since, and only for a few months. I don't like cities. Luckily this is a small one by city standards so it won't be the complete end of the world, I'm sure. The big difference between moving up there alone in my mid-30's rather than my late-teens is this weird sense of security and safety I've cultivated around being in the same physical location for a long time. Even though this place doesn't really feel like home, as a shut-in, it's simply the location that my life takes place. My life is like a movie with two sets - this run-down house by a pond and the trails by the river. That's pretty much it. Going to any other location is kinda like a special episode. It wasn't like that back in my teens, not even remotely. Back then I really didn't spend much time in my house at all.
It's weird that uprooting my life is scary because it's not the first time, by a long shot. On my "gap year" between my freshman year fail-out and going back to community college, I lived in a hallway in my friend's aunt's old house with 5 other people. Then I moved to Colorado for a few months until my "friend" broke up with her boyfriend and moved back, leaving me homeless. Then I moved to the city, staying in a Holiday Inn for a few weeks because they didn't get the damn thing ready in time. Transferred down to the college that my bandmate was going to, moved in with a guy who was allergic to cats and didn't tell me, that lasted about 2 weeks. Moved to a converted farmhouse, lived there for about a year. Moved to an attic above a lakehouse garage with a friend. Listened to rumors whispered in my ear about her and flipped out and moved out after a few months. Moved in to a closet that was converted into a bar that was converted into a "bedroom" in an old frathouse. Big mistake. Moved in with friends in a room in an Inn where they were doing long-term rentals. After a few months, moved to an apartment building in a chill town. Then I graduated and moved above my parents garage... which became my de facto home base for... 7 years. I moved to Boston for a bit in between, but it didn't last. Then I moved here to live with my girlfriend and kinda just got stuck here after that went to shit. Not counting moving back to places I've already lived, I've moved 14 times in my life.
So... I've lived a lot of places. So has my cat. Why the fuck is it scary this time? Why were all those moves just... part of life... and this one I am legitimately feeling like I'm dying? Like something really bad is around the corner.
Once I do this move, I do not have a safety net to fall back on. In college, there was always sorta implicitly the safety net of moving back home if needed. I guess. That is no longer an option. I will not be able to move back to this house.
I don't have anyone in this town that I'm moving to be with. I will be the new guy in town, I will know no one. I haven't been in those shoes intentionally before. I have been abandoned and blown off by friends after moving to be near them, but I've never moved to an area where I knew absolutely no one.
But honestly, there's really no choice at this point. It's not all bad, I know that, but the emotions that flood my system when I think about this stuff.... and the physical feelings I get with them... It's a feeling I haven't gotten in a long ass time.
Over the past few days (and a few episodic periods interspersed, like after my dog died and running into a former friend who is now a homeless heroin addict) I have been getting this feeling that is how I imagine it feels to get robbed at gunpoint. That feeling permeates and consumes whatever I'm experiencing, like a dark fog rolling in. It can be very clearly focused on a concept (like watching a GTA RP stream where a character was buying heroin) or it can simply be present without my awareness of what summoned it. I don't know which is worse, honestly. They both suck donkey balls.
Every time it hits, it gets so disorienting. It's so much deeper than being nervous, shy, bashful, insecure or embarrassed. It's very primal, very all-encompassing. It's hard to describe, a little dream-like? Like when you're in a dream and you don't know you're asleep. It's just a subtle and sudden shift into "you're in fucking danger", often with very little fanfare or context. Heart starts pounding, chest muscles start tightening, there's this coiled up tension in the center of the chest, vision goes higher contrast, darker darks/lighter lights. I get scared. Like "just heard something big step on leaves and sticks behind you in the dark" scared. So... panic? Yep. Pretty sure the panic attacks are back.
YAY! Aww it's been so long, my friends! So glad to have you back! See, these fuckers are the reason I got on meds in the first place. And given the trauma trail this journal has been showing, I wonder where it came from... hmm...
So yeah, when they say that taking care of mental health is a life-long process, they are NOT lying. There is no "go to therapy for a few sessions and you're cured" bullshit. In fact, that is extremely indicative of someone getting worse.
Welcome to ADD, here's a tangent. I just looked up ACT therapy for a refresher course on the definition, it was one of my favorite workshops I took. I remember it as dissecting the reactions you have, drawing them out and fleshing out new options for them. "Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT therapy) is a type of mindful psychotherapy that helps you stay focused on the present moment and accept thoughts and feelings without judgment." It's really helping me get through this stuff, honestly. I'm assuming that's where I got this technique from, either that or it just spontaneously came out, or formed from like... deadpan humor or something. The technique I tend to do is just sorta say out-loud what I'm going through in that moment. Honestly, bluntly. Warts and all. And it's really just as simple as that. Most of the time, my higher-brain response to what I'm freaking out about goes "really? I'm afraid of that?"
For example, when I started smoking weed again a few months ago, I had freakouts about people looking in my windows and seeing me. They were very potent. Then one day I just said it out loud to myself. "I'm scared because I'm afraid someone will look in my house and see me." Then I responded, "okay, but what are you afraid of?" I couldn't really answer. I started laughing a bit. I started going through what might have caused this. "Oh yeah, my landlords live 10 yards away and I'm two years past the end of my lease. OH. That's probably why I feel like someone might be watching me. But they're cool with me, so... who cares?" Working through that narrative helped me understand something that was sitting below the surface and struggled to manifest consciously. Something that didn't seem important consciously, but apparently was a bit more complicated for me emotionally. Once I addressed it, it started getting much better, it happened way less frequently and when it did, it was a good prompt to sit down and just work through that issue a bit more.
So maybe I need to do that with my panic. I know these issues are going to be MUCH bigger. Ultimately, it will bring me peace, it will be worth it. Maybe I'll try to give that a shot next time, just pull out my phone and start writing down what I'm panicking about. Hmm... Let's see if I remember that tomorrow. XD
Fingers crossed the next sun cycle brings some love, peace and a few laughs. It's much needed. <3
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