#1dff au

[alisonfelixwrites]

the deal - part 1/3 (*) [harry styles au]

//

part two, part three.

summary: in which harry & claire are both single parents and their kids are best friends in school. atlas & finn are six years old and want to hang out all the time even if their parents don't get along .... at first.

word count: 23,973

content warning: smut!! (not too much for my standards lol). mentions of drug use, single parenthood with neglect from the other parent, mentions of physical/emotional abuse

this one is also already on my wp (to be found under 'muse')!! but she deserved her own moment on tumblr because this is one of my faves ❤️

//

“Oh my god.” The voice of a distressed woman behind the wheel sounded through the car.

Claire pressed her hand down on the honk once more, “Fucking move!” She roared before swerving to the side, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” The many curse words easily tumbled from her dry lips as she made her way through a part of town she hadn’t often driven through.

Her old Toyota stood out like a sore thumb between all the fancy cars of the fancy people who resided here in these fancy homes. She was sure that if they took one look at her, her Burger King outfit would stand out too against the bright blue of her old car.

“Why the fuck do you drive a Tesla when you don’t even know how to use it!” Claire continued shouting, making hand gestures to the other drivers. An elderly woman driving a BMW gave her a disgusted look and Claire simply rolled her eyes, speeding off now that the intersection had finally cleared a bit.

Her heart was hammering in her throat and her hands were tightly clamped around the wheel. With her cap still on her head, Claire hadn’t had the time to get changed once she noticed the many missed calls on her phone. She simply jumped into her car after her shift and drove like a maniac to try and keep the damage to a minimum.

Waze finally showed the place she had to be at, and she came to a screeching halt before clumsily driving up a massive driveway which held a Land Rover and an old Volkswagen Beetle. Claire jumped out of the car and rushed up to the front door, completely out of breath.

Jamming her finger on the doorbell over and over again, she noticed a set of lights being turned on in the hallway before the door was yanked open.

“I’m so sorry!” She immediately blurted out, being met with a man who shot her an angry and very judging glare. Claire couldn’t blame him. She had fucked up.

He towered over her, blocking the doorway to his house as Claire shifted on her feet. He took a quick glance at her outfit, “I take it you’re Claire Carter?”

“Yes.” She breathed, “Shit, I-I’m so sorry I’m so late.” She palmed her forehead, fatigue taking over. Her entire body ached after standing on her feet for so many hours, faking polite smiles at the customers who did nothing but treat her like shit. She reeked of fries and couldn’t wait to take a shower.

The man in front of her wore joggers and a casual, white shirt. He had a clip holding his brown hair away and some scruff on his jaw. The judging look he sent her made Claire wish the ground could swallow her whole. He eventually exhaled, “You’re the one who forgot her child at school?” The snide tone of his voice made Claire press her lips together.

She lowered her eyes and swallowed, “Look, I’m just here to pick up Atlas.” Her voice was softer now, “Where is he?”

“Inside.” The man nudged his head inside his house, “Playing with my boy.”

Claire nodded, “Right. You’re Finn’s dad, aren’t you? Atlas talks about him a lot."

“Yeah.”

Silence took over and Claire glanced into the hallway behind him, “So… Can you tell him I’m here? Or can I come in?” A hint of impatience laced her voice. It was already late and Claire knew the never ending amount of chores that were waiting for her at home. Not to mention she had to get Atlas to bed on time to not disrupt their entire weekend schedule.

“He’s a good kid, you know?” The man spoke, snapping Claire out of her thoughts. She flicked her eyes up at him before frowning softly, “I’m aware. I’m raising him.”

“No, like… He’s a good kid. Teacher was raving about him. I went in to pick up Finn and they were the only two left. The teacher was about ready to leave and she couldn’t reach you. She was about to call the police.”

Claire’s cheeks turned an embarrassed shade of pink as she swallowed. She was being lectured by this man, who clearly judged her for not being a decent parent and forgetting to pick up her child after school. Claire’s stomach turned, knowing full well she already wasn’t making a good impression with the people of Atlas’ new school. She was hardly ever there to drop him off or pick him up and had a sitter do those things. She had never even met most of the teachers or the other parents, which was very frowned upon at that school.

“I’d like to take him home now.” Claire repeated, her voice a little hoarse, “It’s late.”

“Wonder why.” He scoffed before sighing and turning around, “Finn!” He yelled into the house. Claire felt her bottom lip wobbling, attempting to recompose herself before the sheer look of disgust of this man brought her to tears.

She soon heard little footsteps running over the wooden floors of the house, which honestly was more of a mansion. Even when Claire felt like shit, the sight of her little boy with his shaggy blonde hair, cheered her up immediately. With a wide grin on her face, she crouched down, opening up her arms for him to jump into her.

“Hi, baby!” Claire squeaked, spinning him around as Atlas clung to her. He had some sort of stain on his shirt but Claire didn’t mind, holding his body close to hers. “Hi, mummy! I missed you today.” Atlas bubbled in response. Claire hummed before putting him down, already feeling the massive ache in her back, “I know, I missed you too.”

Her eyes then flicked to the boy standing in the doorway too, his dad having a protective hand on the top of his back. “Hi.” Claire smiled, holding out her hand, “You must be Finn.”

“Yes.” He timidly spoke, offering her a small smile. He shook her hand with little enthusiasm, “Are you Atlas’ mum?”

“Yeah, ‘m Claire.” She smiled back before straightening up, “Well, thank you again. We should get going.”

“That your car?” Finn’s father nudged his head towards the blue Toyota and Claire exhaled, “Yes.”

“Hm.”

She refrained from rolling her eyes, “Have a good night.” She mumbled, not even waiting for his response. Atlas shouted a goodbye to Finn, waving excitedly before climbing into the passenger seat of the car. Claire checked her mirrors, avoiding the shocked eyes at all costs that her kid was getting in the front seat of the car.

Claire being the responsible parent she was couldn’t afford to fix the broken safety belts of the backseat, so Atlas drove up front with her. Backing out of the long driveway, she watched Finn and his father disappear back inside of the huge house.

“’M sorry, baby. Mum had to work late.” Claire yawned softly as they hit traffic again to drive home, “Did you have fun with your friend?”

“Yes, Finn’s really nice. A little quiet.” Atlas spoke. Claire hummed, “Are you hungry?”

“No! Harry made us dinner.”

“Harry.” Claire nodded, “That Finn’s dad?”

“Yes. He’s nice.”

Claire huffed and took a left, “Debatable.” She mumbled under her breath, not for Atlas to hear. The rest of the car ride was filled with Atlas’ babbles that Claire honestly loved. He spoke about nothing important most of the time but she loved hearing his voice and the way he saw the world, what observations he made. In her mind, she was already thinking about tomorrow though.

She had the Saturday-shift to cover too, so Atlas was spending the day with his father. The thought alone made Claire’s stomach clench but she tried to push it away. He deserved a shot at two parents and perhaps Evan really did deserve another chance to prove himself as a father.

The heavy door to the appartement hardly budged as Claire put her entire weight against it to open it up. The entire building shook as she did so, and she could tell the neighbours were listening to the news through the thin walls of this crappy building.

No one ever said it was this hard to be an uneducated, unsupported single mum.

With a heavy sigh, Claire ran her fingers through Atlas’ blonde whisps as he excitedly walked into their home. As always, both kicked off their shoes by the door and headed through the narrow hallway – passing both their bedrooms – towards the living area. Pizza boxes were on the counter from last night and Claire was glad Atlas had already eaten at his friend’s house because in all her haste, she even forgot to pick up groceries.

Ignoring the rumbling of her own stomach, she decided on a quick shower to feel fresh and clean again before snuggling up on the couch with Atlas to watch some of his favourite shows. Claire fought to keep her eyes open, refusing to go to sleep before her six year-old did.

Life was pathetic enough as it was.

She couldn’t shake the look of absolute judgement and despise she had received from Harry. Yes, she had forgotten to pick up her child after school. Yes, she had driven like a maniac and showed up at his door dressed in her Burger King outfit, hours late. Yes, they had been close on calling the cops on her.

But that didn’t make her a bad mother.

Claire sighed, gently stroking her fingers over Atlas’ forehead as he sucked on his thumb. It was a habit she tried to get him to shake, but simply didn’t have the energy to constantly point it out to him. He was too old to still be doing that, but part of Claire knew that even Atlas was traumatized from the shit he had witnessed as a baby and an infant.

It had taken Claire two years to get away from Evan and the past four years had been hell. And bliss at the same time.

She didn’t think she’d be a single mum at twenty-eight, making ends meet and having no savings to start something up. But Atlas was kind, fun and energetic. Now that he was a bit older, it was like having a mini-me. She could always talk to him and he was intelligent for his age, following along easily in the topics Claire spoke to him about. He was respectful albeit a little wild at certain times.

In his previous school they had called him a ‘wild child’ who ‘acted out because of the way his mother raised him’. Simply because he had learned the word ‘fuck’ from Claire and had yelled it out in class.

Once.

Claire thought she’d be done with the judgement, but after only a few weeks in his new school she could already sense it again. If not from the teachers, then definitely from the other parents. She was happy Atlas made friends so easily and that he was such an open, approachable kid, but she could really do without the critiques of the others.

It was on Monday that she saw Harry again.

After much whining from Atlas, Claire decided to drop him off at school herself for the first time. Along with all the other parents in line, she was crouched down in front of him to make sure everything was in his backpack for the day. She was parked with one wheel on the curb in front of a garage, so she really didn’t have much time.

Glancing around to check for police in the street, Claire hurried up and stuffed everything in his backpack, “There, you’ve got everything.”

“Thank you, mummy.” Atlas grinned. A dimple popped in his cheek, one of the things he inherited from Evan. Claire’s stomach turned at the memory. Another memory was the ache in her arm from the bruise she had there. A much more recent memory, from picking up Atlas on Saturday.

She wasn’t sure who had reacted worse to her being late for pick-up. Harry, who had stared her down and made her feel insignificant, or Evan, who had grabbed her and shoved her against the wall while yelling in her face.

“Good boy.” Claire proudly smiled, cupping his cheeks and pressing a kiss to his forehead, “You be good today, hm? Belle will be here to pick you up after school.”

Atlas’ face dropped, “Belle?” He pushed his bottom lip out into a pout, “Why not you?”

“I have to work, honey.” Claire sighed, “But I’ll be home for dinner.”

“But I don’t like Belle.” Atlas whined, “She stinks.”

Claire could feel a few pairs of eyes on her and rolled her lips inside of her mouth, “Well, that’s because she smokes so much. But I have to work, I’ve explained this to you.” Claire kept her voice down but Atlas whined louder, jutting out his lip, “But mummy!”

“Atlas.” Claire sternly whispered, shaking her head to him, “I’ll see you for dinner, end of discussion.”

He stared at the ground with a thick frown in his forehead, refusing to look at her, “Fuck.” He whispered.

Claire’s eyes widened, “Atlas! No,” She held up her finger, “you promised me you’d never say it again.” Her cheeks flamed up as the parents next to her had definitely heard that. Atlas shrugged while staring at the tips of his worn-out sneakers, “You say it all the time.”

“I’m an adult.” Claire sighed before scratching above her brow. Her hair was in a low bun and she wore jeans and a large hoodie, “Look, just go inside, hm? Class is about to begin, don’t want you to be late.”

Atlas didn’t look at her anymore, simply turned around and walked off. A lump formed in Claire’s throat as she watched him, and her hands fiddled with the sleeves of her jumper, “I love you! Have a good day!” She called after him, but he didn’t react. Exhaling a shaky breath, Claire tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Hi!” She heard the voice from next to her, “Are you Atlas’ mum?”

Claire forced a smile, staring at the perfectly done make-up of one of the mums next to her, “Hi.” She nodded, “Yes, I’m Claire. Nice to mee you.”

“Hi, I’m Dolores.” The woman smiled back with her pearly white teeth, “One of my girls is in Atlas’ class. Betty.”

“Oh,” Claire raised her brows, “yeah, I think Atlas has mentioned her.”

Another mum joined the conversation, “So you’re Atlas’ mum, hm? We all thought it was that gothic sixteen year old.” She laughed, referring to Belle and her dark make-up and black clothes. Claire pressed her lips together, “No, that’s just his sitter. She lives in the building with us, so it’s easy.”

“Hm.” The third woman simply nodded, “Well, me and Dolores are off to have some coffee. Would you care to join?”

Claire forced a smile, “Thank you for the offer, but I have to get to work. It was nice to meet you.” She shot an awkward wave and turned around, stopping dead in her tracks when she near bumped into Harry. Claire was only eye level with his chest and shortly looked up, sending him a nod, “Hi.” She went to stride past him but Harry stopped her, turning around with her, “Nice outfit.”

She could hear the judgement in his voice and rolled her eyes before turning to face him, “Look, I could really do without all those comments of yours. I thanked you for looking after Atlas on Friday, there’s really no need for you to behave like that.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest while firmly keeping her feet on the ground. Harry wore a loose, grey cable knit jumper and some blue jeans that hung loosely around his legs. His hair was back in that little clip to keep it away.

The other mums were out of earshot and Harry frowned, taking a step closer to Claire, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” She stood her ground although her voice wavered, “I know you think you’re better than me. And you probably are. Sue me for working a lot so I can provide for my kid. Sometimes it happens that I lose track of time or that I cover a shift. ” She bit before turning around and stomping off.

Harry watched her, scoffing under his breath. His eyes lingered as the blonde walked up to her horribly parked car, near flipping of another driver who honked at her for crossing randomly. The car moved from how harshly she slammed the door shut before she drove off. He shook his head to himself. That reckless driving with a six year-old next to her was dangerous.

He turned back with his hands in his pockets, feeling the eyes of the other mums on him. Harry was basically the only father who made it to drop-off moments. It caused most of the other mums to shoot their shot somehow and flirt with him, which he always rolled his eyes at.

He shot Finn one last wave, watching as he hurried up to walk next to Atlas. Both immediately broke out into a grin and Harry sighed, part of him wishing Finn could’ve found another friend in class. Finn was a little quiet and timid, which is why it surprised Harry that he gravitated towards someone as loud and extraverted as Atlas.

Before Atlas transferred schools, Finn never really mentioned many of his classmates. He often played by himself and never asked to invite anyone over for a playdate. Ever since a few weeks, he talked about Atlas all the time.

So when Harry saw the little blonde boy, waiting for his mum who had promised to pick him up, he took it upon himself to take him home and care for him until they got a hold of one of his parents. He had overheard the teachers talking about it, and only one name was on the call sheet.

Claire Carter.

A blonde-haired hurricane who showed up at his door by the time it was dark. The muted brown of her Burger King-outfit didn’t fit her or compliment her in any way. Even from the distance, Harry could see the fire in her eyes, hidden by a lot of fatigue.

But he didn’t really care in that moment. She had put her child in danger, and Harry could never imagine forgetting to pick up Finn from school or not notifying the teacher. He simply couldn’t understand how that happened.

He wasn’t able to keep his snide remarks down, somehow feeling so frustrated with her that she was so casual about fucking forgetting her child.

But he had quickly developed a soft spot for Atlas. Partly because he was making feel Finn so at ease, and partly because he was just a funny, goofy and playful kid. Harry had overheard them as they played together, and he constantly asked Finn questions. Asking how he was doing, asking if he felt okay, asking if he had a good day at school. It was gentle and caring.

Until he had heard Atlas slipping in a curse word and Harry’s eyes had widened tremendously.

After meeting his mum, he wasn’t really all that surprised anymore.

***

“Booze?” Harry frowned as Claire handed him the bottle of scotch.

She sheepishly shrugged, “You don’t drink?”

“Uh – no, I do.” Harry breathed, eyeing the label and seeing some knock-off version of cheap scotch. He cleared his throat, “’S just a bit of a weird gift to thank someone for looking after your kid.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to get you. Don’t think you need another stick to push up your ass.” Claire muttered and Harry glared at her, “Anything else?”

They were back in the same position. Claire was on the grass in front of Harry’s house as he stood in the doorway after Finn and Atlas ran inside. It was a Saturday and even though Claire had felt excited about spending a day with Atlas, he had asked her for a playdate with Finn.

And so here she was, dropping him off at his best friend’s house.

“No.” She breathed, “Not really. You’re just going to text me if I can come pick him up?”

Harry nodded, “Sure. Any allergies or something I need to be aware of for lunch?”

“No, he’s all good. Not a big fan of spinach if you were considering that.” Claire informed him. Harry softly nodded, “Fine then, bye.” He closed the door and Claire huffed, shaking her head. She hoped for Atlas’ sake that Finn wasn’t as much of a bitch as his father.

But disaster struck the moment Claire got in her car and tried to start it, only for her car the make the most pathetic noise and shut down.

“No.” She groaned, “God, please, no.” She tried again, jamming her key in it only to receive no response. Claire sat in the driver’s seat for a good ten minutes, simply refusing to get out and knock on Harry’s door again to ask him for help. She refused. Stubbornly, she sat in the seat until she got too bored and

Finally pushing her pride aside, she got out of the car in the scorching sun. Her arms crossed in front of her, she sighed while ringing Harry’s door again. He opened up with that same frown, “Forgot something?”

“I never left.” Claire deadpanned, “My car’s dead. Won’t start. Can I come inside to call a mechanic? It’s boiling.”

“I can feel that. ‘S like an oven.” Harry glanced outside before opening up the door wider, “Fine, come in.”

“Thank you.” She breathed. Harry cringed at her sandy shoes as she strolled through his hallway and straight into the kitchen like she had been here a billion times before. “Where are the kids?” She questioned while sitting down on a barstool.

“Yeah, make yourself at home, why don’t you.” Harry sarcastically spoke before leaning against the counter, “Upstairs. Finn’s got a playroom.”

“A playroom.” Claire nodded while scrolling her phone while searching for a mechanic, “Fancy.”

“Had to do something with my ex’s empty art studio.”

The comment made Claire flick her eyes up. Harry was staring out the window with his arms crossed. The stubble was more prominent now than a week before and the sun coming through definitely accentuated his prominent jaw and the shape of his lips. Claire put her phone down as she leaned her arms on the countertop, “Want to talk about it?”

Harry huffed softly, “No. Did you find a mechanic yet?”

“Do you know anyone in this neighbourhood? That I can like… afford.” Claire muttered the last part and Harry pressed his lips together, “Yeah, I’ll call my car guy. Don’t have to worry about money.”

“Your car guy?”

“Mhm.” Harry was on his phone, a concentrated frown on his forehead. Claire tilted her head to the side, “That’s… I mean, how often do you need a car guy?”

“Just sometimes.” Harry shrugged, “The old beetle outside gives up every once in a while. I call him and he comes here, it’s easy.”

“Both cars are yours?” Claire asked in clarification, and Harry hummed, “Yes.”

“Wow.” She mumbled, nodding to herself, “Must be nice.”

Harry rolled his eyes at her remark and then called his car guy, sharing a few quick words with him before hanging up again, “He’ll be here soon.”

Claire nodded, “Don’t you have jumper cables?”

“No, my car guy does.”

“Right.” She breathed. They were left in silence for a bit as the coffee was running. Harry hadn’t asked her if she wanted any, but poured her a cup either way and Claire didn’t complain. The longer the silence lasted, the more comfortable it became as both scrolled on their phones for a bit, the occasional sigh coming from Harry’s mouth.

Giggles and small feet carried themselves through the hallway.

“Daddy!!” Finn bubbled as both him and Atlas ran into the kitchen. Harry’s brows raised at the sight of his son, “Bub, where’s your shirt?”

“Atlas and I want to swim!” He ignored the question and Harry chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Now?”

Atlas excitedly jumped, “Swim!”

“Atlas.” Claire chuckled while shaking her head, “You don’t know how to swim.”

Harry flicked his eyes to hers, “He can’t swim?” And Claire shook her head, “No, he hasn’t been taught yet.”

“Hm.” Harry exhaled, “Uh – well, I have floaties. Finn, you should use them too.”

“But, daddy!” The boy whined, “I can swim!” He stomped his foot down and Harry huffed, “In a kiddie pool. Not in a pool this deep.”

Finn pouted and Claire fought her smile at how adorable he looked, “But, daddy…” He tried again, “you always come in the pool with me and swim with me and throw me around and then save me.” He explained. Claire’s lips curled up in a smile, “Oh, do you?” She flicked her eyes to Harry who scoffed slightly before crouching down to Finn’s level, “Buddy, I have to fix something with Atlas’ mum’s car, so I can’t come in the pool right now. Besides, I have some work to do in the office. I thought you guys would be nice and quiet for me today?”

“We can be quiet in the pool.” Atlas butted in and Harry shook his head, “It’s gonna be a no. I can’t supervise when you guys are in the pool and it’s too dangerous.”

“Mummy,” Atlas whispered, tugging on Claire’s sleeve. She turned to face him as Harry ruffled Finn’s hair, who couldn’t hide the disappointment for the life of him.

“Yes?” She smiled at Atlas, who nibbled his lip a little, “Why don’t we have a pool?”

Claire took a breath, “Because we live in an apartment.”

“Yeah.” Atlas lowered his eyes, “But I like being outside. Finn has a very big garden to play in.”

Claire’s heart clenched as she exhaled before pressing her lips together. Atlas looked at her with big, green eyes, expecting an answer she couldn’t give him. Claire couldn’t tell him she also really wanted a house with a garden and a pool and a dog, giving Atlas the room he craved to play and be wild. He had a lot of energy and no real way to get rid of that in their small, dingy apartment.

Harry saved her though, clearing his throat, “Atlas, you can borrow swimming trunks from Finn. You guys get in the pool for a while once I grab the floaties.” The cheers sounded loudly through the room even though Harry wasn’t finished yet, “Only for a little while!” He held his finger up, “I have to work!”

Before the final word had left his lips, Finn and Atlas had bolted out of the room and back up the stairs and Harry let out a sigh, checking his watch. Claire followed his gaze, noticing his bony fingers tapping on the countertop in thought. The veins wrapping around his arm led her eyes up to the tattoos on his skin.

“I can stay too.” She offered, taking a sip of her coffee.

Harry seemed snapped out of his thoughts, “Hm?”

Claire cleared her throat, “I can stay too. You said you need to get work done and I have a free day. I can stay by the pool with the boys. I don’t mind, if you don’t have the time for it.”

“I want to have the time for it.” Harry clarified and Claire nodded, “I know. But it’s fine if you don’t. You can’t have time for everything.”

Harry scratched his jaw in thought, “I don’t have like bathing suits here. Astrid took all her stuff.”

Astrid.

Claire shrugged, “I’m wearing black underwear. Decent enough, not like… a thong or anything.” She mumbled. Harry fought the flaming of his cheeks before huffing out a chuckle, “Or you could stay by the edge and just put your legs in.”

“Atlas doesn’t know how to swim. Floaties or not, I’m getting in the water with him.” Claire frowned.

Harry sighed and nodded, “Yeah. I mean – uh… If you don’t mind? I really have a project to finish today, I have to meet the deadline or I’m losing this client.”

“What is it that you do exactly?”

“I’m an architect.” Harry mumbled, clearly still lost in thought at Claire’s offer. He nibbled his lip as she nodded, digesting the information. It made sense. Harry worked from home and on his own schedule, which meant he was free to drop Finn off and pick him up from school all the time.

“And you didn’t have any other plans today? On your free day?”

Claire let out a breath, “I – uh… Seeing as Atlas asked for this playdate, I actually planned an actual date this afternoon.” She tilted her head to the side while squinting her eyes at her screen, “But judging by this guy’s texts… he’s about to cancel on me either way so, yeah.” She sighed and put her phone back down, forcing Harry a small smile.

He whistled teasingly, “A date, hm? Spicy.”

“Not all of us are a hundred years old.” She rolled her eyes and Harry huffed out a laugh, “How old do you think I am, Claire?” The playfulness in his tone was something Claire wasn’t used to from him. The Harry she had seen so far in their previous encounters, was uptight and moody. His dimple popped in his left cheek as he smirked slightly.

She faked a small smile back, “Considering your gigantic frown lines, I’d say nearing your forties.”

“Ouch.” Harry placed his hand on his chest, “You wound me. Thirty-four, actually, but thanks. I’ll make some changes to my skincare routine. Noted.”

Claire giggled and shook her head, “I was kidding.”

“Funny girl, aren’t you?”

Claire flicked her eyes up, sensing a shift in Harry’s tone. He had lose the tension in his shoulders, softly smirking at her now from the opposite side of the kitchen as he leaned against the countertop. She lowered her eyes again and Harry cleared his throat, “So, going on a date, hm? First date?”

“Yes.” Claire breathed, “First and last date, which is how it usually goes.”

“Why?”

“Oh, you know,” She shrugged, her fingers toying together, “I show up in a pretty dress and flirt and play them a little. It’s all fun and games in the beginning until the real conversations start and it comes up that I’m a mother, raising Atlas by myself.”

Harry slowly nodded and Claire smiled, “You know, they’re usually fine with me having a son. Like, that’s alright mostly. But once they realize I don’t have a week-week schedule with my ex and actually have Atlas near every day, that’s where they draw the line. Like they don’t want to share.” She shrugged, “So that’s where it ends. I’m lucky if I can get some decent sex out of it. Which doesn’t happen often.”

Harry sputtered out a laugh at her bluntness before shaking his head to himself, “Wow. Yeah, I see why it sticks to one date. I could never be with someone who doesn’t appreciate Finn or doesn’t want to spend time with him.”

“It’s a package deal.”

He nodded in agreement, “Sure is.”

Claire leaned her elbow on the countertop and stared at him, “How about you?”

“Me?” Harry chuckled, shaking his head, “Nah. Eternal bachelor.”

She frowned while smiling, “I don’t believe that for a second. I know I’ve only been there to drop off Atlas once, but I could see all those soccer moms making eyes at you.”

“They’re all married.” He rolled his eyes, “And not my type.”

“Rich and beautiful is not your type?” Claire chuckled and Harry shrugged, “Apparently not.”

Silence fell over them again until Harry took a breath, “I’m gonna head up to the office. Grab whatever you want from the fridge or anything. There’s sunscreen in the bathroom and obviously the pool is outside. I’ll go grab the floaties from Finn’s room.”

“Yeah, okay.” Claire nodded. She checked her phone again, just seeing the message come in of her date, cancelling on her and asking to reschedule. She puckered her lips, remembering how he was some hot shot at an up and coming lawyer firm. She didn’t exactly expect him to have time for her on a Saturday.

With Harry’s footsteps heading up the stairs, Claire slowly got up from her barstool and roamed the kitchen. She stared out the window, seeing the pale blue pool in the large garden. It looked inviting, she had to admit. Even if it was nearing the end of September, it was exceptionally warm.

The house felt silent with both boys and Harry upstairs, and Claire’s feet took her to the crispy white living room. Every piece of furniture here looked like it was made by designers and she was nearly scared to touch anything. There weren’t much toys here and then Claire remembered Finn having a playroom upstairs.

As her eyes darted over the pictures on the wall, they stayed put on the brunette in some of the frames. There were about two of her and a younger Finn. The other ones were of Harry and Finn, or a standalone Finn.

Claire figured it was Astrid, Harry’s ex. She was beautiful, obviously. Looking at Finn, he was a gorgeous little boy with obvious great genes.

Just a few minutes later, Claire was outside with both excited boys. Finn and Atlas were around the same size, with Atlas just being a tad taller. Both wore little swimming trunks with either ducks or boats on them and stood perfectly still as Claire put sunscreen on them.

She didn’t see Harry staring at them from the window above. His laptop was open and he was drawing, he really was. Or he tried to. But he stood against the windowsill up on the first floor, staring down the length of his garden. The water of the pool looked inviting and he could see Finn’s wide grin from a mile away.

Claire grinned too, her blonde hair pinned back now with one of Harry’s ballpoints holding it together. It was inventive, he had to give her that. Her hands smoothed over Finn’s back to put the product on him before she gently slid the floaties around the boy’s arms. They both patiently waited at the edge of the pool, excited to jump in.

Harry’s leg twitched a little when his eyes were on her. She kicked off her shoes, a pair of mom jeans on her legs that she popped. The dryness in his throat once she slid the pants down her legs, was something Harry didn’t anticipate. Black underwear was revealed. Simple cotton with just a small lace border.

Harry thanked his impeccable eyesight to see every detail of Claire from a distance. She was shaped beautifully, with curvy thighs and a dip in her waist which was revealed as she lifted the navy top over her head to reveal an equally black bra.

He saw hints of a tattoo on the back of her shoulder, but Claire moved too quickly for Harry to notice it. Urging the boys to get in the pool, she elegantly got in with them.

A small smile tugged on Harry’s lips as he watched the first few minutes of their playing. Atlas and Finn mostly splashed around, ruining Claire’s plans to keep her hair dry. She tossed the ballpen to the side, ducking underneath the water to get in all the way.

She played with Atlas a bit, and Finn too. He laughed loudly as Claire threw him around a little bit, playing gently with him. They did a bit of a race where she purposely let him win while Atlas splashed a little more, without his swimming experience.

It was hours later, when Claire was fresh out of the pool and drying on the sunbed – with both boys running around the garden and giggling – that she felt a towel being dropped on her stomach. Her eyes snapped open in surprise and she squinted, Harry blocking the sunlight a little, “Hi.” He chuckled.

“Oh, hi.” She smiled, sitting up a bit and grabbing the towel, “Thank you.”

“’S fine.” His eyes glanced around the garden, “Did they have fun?”

Claire wrapped the towel around her to dry off, “Yeah. I don’t understand how they’ve got so much energy left, even I need a nap. Two is too much.”

“I’ve honestly never seen Finn this loud.” Harry smiled as his son ran through the garden with Atlas chasing him, “They’re pretty good friends.”

“They are.” Claire smiled as she followed his gaze, “Infectuous, really.”

“They didn’t give you too hard of a time?”

“Not at all. Finn’s a sweet a boy.”

Harry smiled as he nodded, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants, “He is.”

“How about you? Finished your project?”

“Yep.” Harry stretched his arms now, yawning a little, “I need a nap too.” He joked.

Claire got up with a mischievous glint in her eyes, the towel around her form as she took a few steps closer to Harry. He involuntary took a few back, but she was still close enough that he could see the freckles on her nose and the remains of an old scar above her brow.

“What are you doing?” He spoke in a strained voice, taking a few steps back still to create some distance. He could feel himself breaking out into a sweat when Claire just continued to step closer to him. “Claire.” He pushed.

“You know what’s a great substitute for a nap?” She purred, daring to take another step closer to him. She could inhale his perfume and Harry held his breath when she batted her lashes. He swallowed thickly, “Hm?”

“A dip in the water.” She smiled, using a hand that she placed against his covered chest to give him a shove back. Harry’s eyes widened as he lost his balance, “Wh- Wait!” He yelped, reaching his arm out. Claire laughed, hardly caring that Harry managed to take a hold of her wrist and pull her in. Unlike him – who made a gigantic splash as he tumbled down – Claire managed to get in a dive and dip in elegantly.

The coolness of the water did wake Harry up immediately and he sputtered out as he reached the surface, shaking his hair out with his clothes completely soaked. Claire was laughing as she quickly took the towel to throw it on the grass and get it out of the water.

“Oh my god!” Harry laughed, splashing water at Claire, who giggled. Harry flicked his eyes to their two boys who seemed unaware, chuckling as he shook his head, “You dick.”

Claire gasped in fake shock, “Are you cursing?”

Harry rolled his eyes as he swam back over to the side, pushing himself out of the pool. Claire was mesmerized for a second, watching the way his shirt clung to him. The muscles in his back bulged as he pushed himself up, showing off every ridge.

“Shit.” Harry chuckled, opening up the buttons of his shirt, “I can’t believe you pushed me in the pool. What are you, six?”

Claire grinned and also got out of the water, feeling Harry’s eyes on her as she wrung out her hair, “No, twenty-eight.”

“You wouldn’t say.”

Claire stuck out her tongue and Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Brat.” He scoffed, “’M gonna grab towels.” He turned around to head into the house, his pants soaking wet and his shirt off. The light reflected off his muscular back and Claire near drooled. Harry handed her another fluffy towel and both sat down on the sunbed.

“So around what time are you going to offer me a drink?” Claire teased and Harry hummed, “I don’t drink around Finn.”

“Well, ‘m not gonna get blind drunk but I wouldn’t say no to some pink wine.”

“Yeah, not blind drunk, just…” He shrugged, “I don’t want to give the wrong example.”

Claire leaned back on her hands, letting herself dry in the heat of the burning sun, “Having a drink every once in a while isn’t setting the wrong example, Harry. You’re an adult.” She shrugged, “I mean, it’s your own decision obviously, but it’s impossible to be responsible all the time around your child.”

“Responsible…” Harry mused, “Like remembering to pick them up from school?”

“Dick.” Claire chuckled, nudging her shoulder into his playfully. Harry grinned, staring at the pool as the boys played still. Harry had changed out of his pants and put on some swimming trunks this time, in case Claire decided to shove him in the pool again. His hair was wet and dripping down his back, sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

“Thank you again for that. Work just got… in the way.”

Harry turned his head to the side to watch her, “Don’t have to thank me again, that’s not why I said it. Was just making a joke.”

“I know.”

“You work a lot, don’t you? At Burger King?”

Claire exhaled a breath, “It’s not the most glamorous job and it doesn’t pay that much. But yes, I work a lot. I take a lot of shifts and often work weekends or late nights.”

“Is Atlas by himself when you work?”

“No,” Claire breathed, “I’m not that terrible of a mum.” Her voice held a hint of bitterness and she pressed her lips together, “There’s a young girl in my building who babysits for him. She’s like… seventeen maybe and she dropped out of school. She’s always available. The other mums said they’d seen her around to pick him up sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah…” Harry nodded, “like dark make-up, black hair?”

“Mhm, that’s Belle.”

“Isn’t it like… counter-productive? You have to pay her and then work while having to do so…”

“I earn more than whatever I have to pay her.” Claire mumbled, “Like I said, she’s not that expensive. I keep more than I have to give her.”

Harry nodded, “Right.” There was silence for a moment, “Look, ‘m sorry about giving you a hard time last week. I didn’t mean to like… shame you or anything.”

“No, I get it. It’s everyone’s first impression of me, trust me.” She chuckled, “That judgement is exactly why I pulled him out of his previous school, though. He heard people talking that I was never there, that I was leaving him on his own, that I wasn’t fit to be a parent. It’s painful because I’m really doing this all for him.”

Harry nodded again, listening to her. Claire fiddled with her fingers, “Like what he said about the pool earlier, you heard, right?"

“Mhm. I did.”

“Well, I want that too. I want to give him everything, I want him to have a nice childhood and I want to spend time with him. But I don’t have an education so I can’t really go for high-paying jobs. Just have to take what I can get and hope for flexible hours to be there for him.”

“You’re doing a lot, Claire.” Harry sympathized, “Seriously, ‘m sorry. I-I judged way too quick.”

“That’s fine.” She shot him a sly smile, “Happens when you’re old.”

Harry smiled and shook his head to himself, “And hey… I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you drop him off here whenever you have to work late or want some time for yourself? Finn and Atlas can spend time together, he could even stay the night if you want. And you don’t have to pay me.”

“What?” Claire frowned.

“I’m serious.” He shrugged, “It’s nice for Finn to have a friend. They’re joined at the hip.” Harry glanced over his shoulder to see both boys giggling together, a smile tugging on his lips, “I think they’d like it. He could eat here or I could grab him after school, bring him here. You can just come pick him up whenever you’re finished.”

Claire tilted her head to the side with a frown, “But… Don’t you have to work? Or go places?”

“Not really, to be honest.” Harry admitted, “I’m home all the time. A lot has changed since my divorce and I don’t have much of a social life anymore, just put Finn first. Wanted him to grow up with at least one present parent after all the arguing he had to witness as a baby. And I work for myself, got flexible hours. I work when he’s at school or when he goes to bed at night.”

Claire stared at him, “I-I mean… If you’re sure.”

“Of course.” Harry smiled, “Dead sure. You can even go on your dates on Saturday nights, or something.” He teased softly and Claire bit her lip, “You’re right. I can. I should text that guy to reschedule."

He hummed, “You can.” He then turned to face her, “So we’ve got a deal?”

Claire nibbled her lip, “And… you’d want nothing out of it?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, “Just doing it for Finn. And Atlas is a nice kid, Claire. He’s a good influence to bring Finn out of his shell.”

She smiled softly, her bubbly boy being a good influence made her so proud. “Okay. Then I guess we have a deal.”

They stupidly shook hands before bursting out in giggles. Claire hummed, bumping her shoulder into his again, “You’re not that bad, you know?”

“I know.” Harry playfully responded, “Neither are you."

“You’re the first mum-friend I’ve ever made in my life.”

“Oh god.” Harry groaned, “Don’t call me your mum-friend.”

Claire threw her head back in a laugh and Harry leaned back a little bit too, his eyes finally catching the ink on the back of Claire’s shoulder now that her hair dried a bit. He could see now, that it was a tattoo for Atlas. Literally a tattoo of Atlas, who carried the world. It was simple, and even a little disturbed with some dark bruises around it.

Harry swallowed, but decided not to comment on it.

***

“Hi, Harry!” Atlas bubbled as he waved at Harry. He was leaning against his car, sunglasses up his nose as he waved back, “Hi, bud.”

“Atlas!” Claire panted as she came running from across the street – having done another horrible parking job with her car. Harry smiled as she ran up to Atlas, crouching down to catch him in a hug. Atlas ran straight into her arms with a giggle and Claire hugged him, stroking his back, “Hi, baby. How was your day?”

“Good!” He smiled widely. Claire pressed a kiss to his cheek as she smiled.

“Bye Atlas! See you soon!” Finn’s voice sounded as he ran up to Harry, and Claire straightened up as she shot him a wave, “Oh, hi. Didn’t see you.”

Yeah, hey.” He smiled back, “Been here a while, I like to be early, Finn doesn’t like to wait.”

“Are you sure it’s still okay for tonight?”

He nodded, “Yep, ‘s fine.” Harry ruffled Atlas’ hair, “Gonna come over for a movie night, bud?”

“Can we watch Toy Story?!” Atlas excitedly gasped and Harry groaned a little under his breath, recovering quickly as he rolled his lips inside of her mouth, “Mhm.”

Claire chuckled, “Are you sure?” She softly asked him and Harry nodded again, “Positive, really. It’ll be fun.”

Her hair was up in a clip again, whisps of hair flying around. She wore a jumper even if it was boiling, and Harry could tell she was still wearing the Burger King shirt underneath, some of the muted brown sticking out of the neckline of her jumper. Claire took Atlas’ hand and waved at Harry and Finn, “See you tonight!”

“Bye!” Harry waved back, and Finn did too. As Harry urged Finn into the backseat, Dolores walked up to him. With her fresh bob-cut and perfect make-up, she sent him a smile, “Hi, Harry.”

“Dolores.” He nodded. She eyed him up and down, “Did I overhear you talking to Claire for a moment there?”

He pressed his lips together and nodded, “Mhm.” There was no point in lying about it, all eyes had been on them just a minute before. His eyes flicked to the other side of the street where Claire slammed her car door to drive off, not putting on her blinkers before she sped off. He wanted to roll his eyes at her driving behaviour but also knew he was super extreme with his careful driving.

“You know…” Dolores lowered her voice and came a little closer as Harry closed Finn’s car door. He straightened up and Dolores shortly glanced around, “There has been some talk. You know, a new mum… people always talk.” She shrugged as if it was the most normal thing. Harry stiffly nodded, “Naturally.” He vividly remembered all the gossip when word got around about what happened between him and Astrid.

“And well,” Dolores tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Natalie heard that Claire has a past in drug abuse.” She was near whispering now, “And that she was married to a dealer.”

Harry let out a soft sigh, “Right.” He hardly listened, if he was honest. He knew better. Word got around quickly here, but everything got changed and manipulated. He knew better than to believe everything he heard around this town.

Dolores cleared her throat, “And that she was using while being pregnant. That poor boy… I mean, it’s clear that he’s got ADHD, and that could be a result of her abusing drugs while pregnant.”

Harry refrained from rolling his eyes, “Dolores,” He sighed, “even if it’s true, who cares? It’s her life and it’s been six years since she was pregnant. Let’s not meddle.” He simply spoke, forcing her a small smile.

“I’m just warning you,” Dolores put her hand on Harry’s arm and he flicked his eyes down to the touch with a frown in his forehead. Dolores swallowed, “She’s around Finn, Harry. Think about the influence…”

Harry cleared his throat and pulled his arm away, walking around his car to get behind the wheel, “Bye, Dolores.”

She opened her mouth to say more, but Harry was already in his car with the door closed. He didn’t spare her another glance before he drove off.

A few hours later, someone rang his door. Claire was fiddling with the top button of her dress as she waited for Harry to open his door. Atlas was by her side, excited for his movie night here as she had rescheduled with her date for tonight.

She was sort of excited, it had been a while since she had gone out. Her work schedule didn’t allow her to and she wanted to spend most nights with Atlas. Knowing he wasn’t just in the apartment with Belle scrolling on her phone, but was spending time with his friends eased her guilt a little of leaving him alone.

The lock clicked as Harry appeared, flashing a grin at Atlas, “Hey!”

“Hi, Harry!” He grinned back before turning to Claire, “Bye, mummy!!” He hardly waited for her response before sprinting into the house he knew rather well by now. Claire chuckled, “Yeah, bye. Love you too.”

Harry leaned against the doorpost, shortly scanning her outfit. He was used to seeing Claire either in her Burger King outfit or in jeans and a shirt. Now, she wore a dress. And make-up. It was clear to him she was making an effort. The slippers on her feet made his brows raise though, “Is he super short or something?” He nudged his head towards her feet.

Claire followed his eyes, “Oh, no, I don’t think so. I just can’t drive in heels so I’ll switch my shoes when I arrive.” She explained, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, “By the way, if I’m done before midnight, I’m coming back over to pick him up.”

“In the middle of the night?” Harry frowned.

“Yeah, we sort of have our morning routing, Atlas and I. So I prefer picking him up and letting him sleep the rest of the night in his own bed. What time do you usually go to bed?”

Harry scratched his chin, “Yeah, around midnight.”

“Okay, but I’ll text you. Maybe he sucks and I’ll be back in an hour.”

His lips curled up in an amused smirk, “What’re dealbreakers to you, Claire?”

“I’d love to go over the list with you,” She grabbed a lipstick from her purse and blindly put it on, painting them a soft cherry red before rubbing them together, “but I’m going to be late if we get into that.”

Harry’s eyes zeroed in on Claire’s lips and he huffed out a chuckle, “Fine. Well, have fun. Be safe. Let me know when you’d come pick up Atlas.”

“Will do! Thank you.” Claire spun on her heel and headed back to her car, driving off the driveway to head to her date. Harry watched, feeling only slightly wary of her going by car instead of being picked up. He wondered if she’d drink during dinner and then drive, picking up Atlas to drive with him.

Dolores’ words ran through his head over and over again before he shook his head to himself and headed inside.

He checked his phone a few times, but Claire was actually having an okay time on her date. The guy who worked at the lawyer firm was charming and showed up in a suit. A bit stiff, Claire thought. And she was definitely underdressed. Her black dress looked classy but was cheap as fuck, and the buttons around her chest seemed near ready to pop.

His eyes were drawn to her tits most of the time as he drank the one scotch after the other. Their conversations started pleasantly and Claire got it out of the way first, immediately notifying him of the fact she had a six year-old son. He hadn’t responded much to it, just hummed and said it was cool.

As the evening progressed, Claire got a bit of an ick though. He seemed to talk mostly about herself and when he ended up not asking one single question about Atlas, Claire decided for herself that this was not it. He was near drunk once they finished their dinner and headed outside. He sloppily tried to kiss her and she turned him down, even having to stifle her laugh when he casually suggested they hook up just once.

He also called her a prude when she refused. Rolling her eyes, Claire got in her car. Before driving off, she quickly texted Harry.

Message to: Harry (Finn’s dad)

Coming back from the restaurant now, I’ll be there in twenty.

It was nowhere near midnight, but just past ten thirty in the evening. Claire had only been on her date a good few hours but it had felt like forever. With the window down, she drove up to Harry’s house again after another disappointing night. It had been the one shitty date after the other in the past few months.

Most lights in the house seemed off as Claire pulled up, getting out in her slippers and softly knocking on the door as to not alert the sleeping children. She heard footsteps, and soon Harry opened up. He looked a little sleepy and Claire suspected he had dozed off on the couch before she texted him that she was coming back.

“Hi.” She bit her lip, “Sorry, did I wake you?”

He stifled a yawn, “You didn’t. Put the boys to bed not too long ago and I was reading a little bit.” He opened the door wider for her, “Come in. How was the date?”

“Horrible.” Claire huffed, following him into the kitchen. Harry hummed, “Want some coffee? Or water? There’s also some dinner leftover if you want.”

“It actually smells so good in here.” Claire hummed, “If you’ve got any left, I’d like to.”

“Sure, I’ll heat some up. Tell me about the guy.”

Claire pushed herself up to sit on the countertop, “Well, he was just…” She shrugged, “Boring. And arrogant. He only talked about himself, was just overall rude and he drank so much, god… I hope he didn’t yet have to drive.”

Harry smiled softly at her words as he put a plate in the microwave. “How responsible of you.” He teased, repeating the words from last week that she had mocked him with. Claire smiled and rolled her eyes, “Hey, I have morals.”

“Hm.” Harry hummed, remembering Dolores’ words again. He turned around, “Here you go. Atlas really liked it.”

“Holy shit. Did you make this yourself?”

“Think I’ve got some private chef here, Claire?”

She shrugged, “Honestly, yes.” Her fork poked into a piece of chicken as she stuffed it in her mouth.

“Nah, I’m quite an okay cook. I like cooking actually.” Harry went to sit on the opposite countertop, his legs dangling over the edge as they were in the dimly lit kitchen, “Go on now, tell me five positive things about the date.”

“Five?” Claire’s eyes widened, “Uh…” She chewed for a bit, “well, one… he paid. So that was nice.” She narrowed her eyes in thought and Lennon chuckled softly, “Only one?”

“No, no, wait, let me think.” Claire shook her head, “Oh, well, he didn’t shame me when I wanted to have dessert. And when I said I had a kid, he said it was cool.”

“Cool?” Harry frowned, “That’s supposed to be a positive thing? The bar is very low.”

“It’s on the floor, let’s be honest.”

“So I assume it’s safe to say there won’t be a second date.”

Claire scrunched her nose, “Definitely not. He tried to kiss me and suggested sex.”

Harry’s brows raised, “Seriously? Bold.”

“You’d be surprised, dating isn’t the same as it was ten years ago.”

He hummed, “Apparently. Thank god I don’t have to go through that.” He shook his head to himself. He knew it could be brutal out there. Hell, Astrid had made it brutal for him. The thought of her left his stomach in clenches and he quickly pushed it all away.

“Harry, this is really good. Wow.” Claire near moaned as she ate more food and Harry smiled, “Thanks.” He felt proud at her compliment and shyly glanced down. Claire swallowed her bite, “So what did you three do tonight?”

“Watched Toy Story. Twice.”

Claire sputtered out a giggle, “No way.”

“Atlas is quite persuasive.” Harry chuckled, “But I was reading a little throughout. They were nice and quiet though, had some popcorn. They wanted to swim but I said no.”

“Stern.” Claire nodded and Harry shrugged, “Some might say, yes.”

Claire crossed her legs over one another and leaned back, “So… I’m curious. If you never go on a date, how long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

Harry chuckled to himself while shaking his head, “Nope. None of your business.”

Claire shrugged, “Fair enough.”

They sat in silence for a bit until Claire decided to head home. Harry guided her up the stairs to show the spare room where Atlas was sleeping. He was dazed until he laid eyes on his mum, a wide grin spreading over his face. Claire carried him downstairs and gently put him in the car before thanking Harry again and driving off.

***

“Thank you so much for watching him.” Claire breathed as she was at the door in her Burger King outfit. She looked exhausted, Harry noticed. Her hair was a little messy and she had bags under her eyes. It was a Thursday and almost a week after she had dropped Atlas off here to go on her date.

He hadn’t seen much of her throughout the week, or just shortly to pick up Atlas after school. Today, she had to pick up another shift so Harry took Atlas home after school to hang out with Finn.

“’S no problem.” Harry shrugged, “I’ve told you, Atlas is a nice kid to have around. He’s polite.”

“Yeah.” Claire tiredly smiled, “Can you go grab him?”

Harry scratched the back of his neck, “Mhm. Or – uh… we were just about to have dinner. You can join if you want.”

“That’s really nice,” Claire sighed, “but you’re already doing way too much for us. And I desperately need to shower.”

“I have showers.” He shrugged.

“Showers? Multiple?”

He chuckled, “Yes. C’mon,” he urged her, nodding his head inside the house, “it’ll be nice for the boys.”

It’s what he went with. That it was nice for the boys. Really trying to ignore the fact that it’d be nice for him too. Claire was easy to talk to and not as uptight or fake like all the other mums in the school. She was blunt and unapologetic, but very straightforward and without bullshit. He appreciated that now, whereas he didn’t at first.

She was trying her best, he could see that.

Claire eventually caved, nodding her head. She wore that horrific Burger King fit and Harry showed her where everything was in the bathroom, handing her a pair of joggers and a shirt of his.

The four of them sat around the dinner table later, with Claire only being slightly uncomfortable at how underdressed and casual she was. The clothes Harry handed her felt nice and soft, but she wasn’t used to having dinner in pyjamas with wet hair laying on her back and with anyone else besides Atlas.

“I have a question,” Harry popped, narrowing his eyes at Claire, “Do you ever eat burgers?”

She chuckled, shaking her head, “Absolutely not. Can’t stand burgers anymore. Besides, I see how they’re made and let me tell you… it’s a big no. I’m in the smell of it all day and I just…” She shuddered, “Nope.”

They fell silent again with just Finn and Atlas whispering something to one another until Finn nodded and cleared his throat, “Claire?” He spoke in a small, soft voice. Claire swallowed her bite and turned, “Yes?”

Finn looked a little nervous, shifting in his chair as he put his fork down and a slight flush rose over his cheeks, “Atlas said I could come to your house.”

Claire frowned slightly, shortly flicking her eyes to Atlas before clearing her throat, “I’m… what?”

“We always come here. I want to show Finn where we live.” Atlas piped up. Claire felt her cheeks heating up a little bit in embarrassment as she stared at her plate. Harry hummed, “That could be fun. Maybe we could all have dinner at your place?”

Claire licked her lip, refusing to look him in the eye, “That’s…well, that’s not possible. I-I don’t have a table that can fit four people.” She mumbled softly. Her shoulders slumped a little bit and Harry paused mid-chew to watch her as she kept her eyes on the food in her plate.

“Atlas, baby, we don’t really have the room for you and Finn to play the way you can here, right?” She softly spoke to her son.

Atlas pouted and Claire forced him a small smile, “Maybe some other time, yeah?”

“But I want to show him where we live.” Atlas murmured in a trembling voice, nearly on the verge of tears. Claire turned to him and kept her voice soft, “I know. But you know how mummy always says we won’t live there for too long? Because it’s so small and loud and dark?” She near whispered to Atlas, who nodded and sniffled once, “Well, maybe we should wait until we live somewhere nicer.”

“Are you poor?” Finn’s voice sounded curious and Claire’s eyes widened.

“Finn!” Harry scolded in shock, “You can’t ask people that!”

Finn looked completely horrified at the sudden volume his father used to talk to him. He stared at Harry with large, green eyes and even his lip was trembling, “B-But Atlas comes to school with dirty clothes.” He near whispered, sounding nervous. Claire’s stomach dropped and Finn sniffled again, “And we share my lunch because he’s still hungry after his.”

“Stop!” Harry snapped, his fist coming down on the table. Finn jumped up with a gasp in surprise and then burst into tears, scrambling from the table to run off. Claire held her breath as she stared at Harry, his fist clenched as he exhaled a sharp breath, “Shit.” He grumbled under his breath.

Claire swallowed and turned to Atlas, “Do you want to go check up on Finn, baby? Tell him his daddy’s not mad at him and neither am I? That we’re all okay?”

Atlas also seemed surprised with Harry’s outburst and timidly nodded before leaving the table to find Finn in the house. The moment he was out of sight, tears spilled from Claire’s eyes. She turned her head away from Harry, hiding it as she hastily wiped underneath her eyes. Her fingers trembled, repeating in her head what Finn had said.

That Atlas showed up with dirty clothes to school and not enough lunch, to the point he was still hungry and ate from the other kid’s lunchboxes.

“Claire.” Harry exhaled and she ignored him, her brain spinning. She was trying so hard. And all this time, she thought she had been doing good. That Atlas was at least happy even if they didn’t have all that much. But people talked, and soon enough the same thing would happen like it had done in his three previous schools. Word would get around, parents would tell their kids not to hang out with him and he’d be bullied.

Harry scooted his chair closer to hers, “Claire,” He repeated, “look at me.”

She pressed her lips together and flicked her eyes up. Harry noticed the wetness in her waterline, the red rimming around her lids. She was exhausted and sad, and it was written all over her face. He wasn’t sure what to do, so gently patted her knee, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” She shook her head, “it’s not his fault. I just – uh… I didn’t know.” She simply shrugged, staring down again, “We’re always in such a hurry in the mornings a-and I just grab whatever clothes of his I can find. And sometimes I don’t have time to do laundry in the weekends. And I swear, he fucking grows all the time, it’s like I have to buy new shirts every other week.” She tiredly scratched her forehead.

Harry listened to her soft rambling and Claire shook her head, “He’s never complained.” Her voice was a little raspy, “about being hungry, or not having enough food. He’s never mentioned it to me.”

“I’m sure Finn was exaggerating.” Harry murmured back, holding his hand on her knee now to give a gentle squeeze, “It maybe happened once. He’s an energized kid who eats a lot, I’ve noticed it here too. I’m sure that if he truly was hungry after lunch every single day, he would’ve told you. You guys are close, right?”

“Yeah.” Claire nodded, “He usually tells me everything.”

“See? I’m sure it’s not that bad. And so what he has a stain on his shirt? He’s a wild kid, always playing and running around… he’s bound to fuck up his clothes.”

Claire listened to him and really tried to hear him, but fresh tears welled in her eyes, “I’m really trying, Harry.” Her tone was shaky and he cooed, “I know. Fuck, I know. I can see it first-hand.”

“Shit.” Claire murmured as she buried her face in her hands and her shoulders trembled in quiet sobs. Harry squeezed her knee and then moved his hand up to her shoulder, “Hey, c’mere.” He urged her to stand up and Claire did so, letting herself be pulled into his chest for a hug. Her forehead was pressed to his clavicle as she sobbed into him, Harry’s arms rubbing up her back to comfort her and shush her softly.

“You’re doing incredible, Claire. And Atlas loves you so much.” He held her body to his, feeling as she weakly cried, both in exhaustion and in feeling powerless. It was a few minutes later that Harry swallowed, “And if you ever need help with money or anything…” He knew the moment he said it, that she’d refuse.

Claire sniffled and shook her head while being pressed to him, “We’ll be fine.”

“O-Or maybe your parents or something?”

“They cut me off. I haven’t been in contact with them since they knew I was pregnant.” Her voice was soft and Harry pressed his lips together, giving her another squeeze, “And doesn’t your ex need to pay? For Atlas?”

Claire sighed out into his neck, “You’d think so. The lawyers are working on it because he refuses to pay. But those things take so long, I’m not even hopeful anymore I’ll ever see a dime.”

It made Harry hate him even more. He had heard little bits about Evan, Atlas’ dad, from Finn. Not much, nothing detailed, just that Atlas didn’t see him that much and that he lived in the area. Any piece of information that Harry found out, made his blood boil. He couldn’t understand how he wouldn’t make an effort to hang out with Atlas, who was such a fun little boy to be around. Harry found there was nothing more satisfying than watching his son grow up and he couldn’t imagine missing it for the life of him.

“Well, you can always ask me. I won’t question it.” Harry concluded and Claire sniffled, “Thank you.”

They stood embraced for another good few minutes until Claire untangled herself, “I’m fine.” She took a breath, through most of her crying as she shot Harry an unconvincing smile, “I’ll be fine.”

“I know.” He nodded.

***

Message from: Claire

He’s wearing boat shoes. I don’t know what to do.

Harry chuckled at the screen of his phone as Finn had his head laying in his lap. Atlas was curled up in the couch too, eyes glued to the screen as they were having another Friday movie night. And Claire was out on a date.

It was nearing November now, and their little deal had been going on for a few months. Claire didn’t go out every weekend, but at least every other weekend. And Harry took Atlas here for the night to hang out with Finn so she could go on her date.

It was safe to say that it usually wasn’t that big of a success. Claire would text him underneath the table about all the horrible things they’d say or do and then come here to pick up Atlas. It resulted in at least an hour of gossiping and laughing before she eventually left and he’d watch her drive off in the darkness of the night.

Message to: Claire.

What colour are they?

His phone soon buzzed with a response.

Message from: Claire.

Who cares!! We’re in the city, not on a fucking boat!

Harry laughed again, shaking his head to himself as he stroked his fingers through Finn’s hair. He had a book next to him but found himself almost more interested in the movie playing. Tangled. It wasn’t half bad, to be honest.

Harry hardly noticed it as Atlas crawled closer to him until bumping his head into Harry’s bicep. He glanced to his side to see the blonde-haired little boy with half-tired eyes, cuddled into a blanket.

Harry hesitated for a moment before opening his arm and Atlas didn’t wait a second, simply nuzzled into Harry’s side with a content sigh. Harry’s heart felt full, with Atlas cuddled into him on one side and Finn resting on his lap. He gently stroked his fingers over Atlas’ head and the boy melted into him even more. There was trust here, after weeks and weeks of spending time together. Atlas was incredible, Harry had come to find out. He was clever and witty, making Finn laugh louder than Harry had ever heard.

Atlas was definitely more on the mischievous side where Finn was rather timid and quiet, but they compensated the other very well. And had grown to be very close friends.

Harry’s phone buzzed softly.

Message from: Claire.

Okay, I’m out of here. He just asked how much I make a month and if I can get him free burgers.

Harry snorted softly and typed back.

Message to: Claire.

Yeah, sounds like your cue to leave. You can catch the final bit of the movie if you’re lucky.

The movie progressed and before Harry truly and well realized it, the three of them were dozed off on the couch. Only when he heard the soft footsteps in the house – after he had showed Claire where he kept the spare key – did his eyes blink open.

Claire watched him with an amused smile, eyes darting over Atlas and Finn who were both asleep on parts of his body.

“This is cute.” She whispered. Harry yawned softly, “Sorry, fell asleep.”

“I can see that.” She sat down on the couch next to Atlas and stroked his back, “Baby?”

Atlas nuzzled further into Harry and Claire shook her head with a smile, “He’s taking the moment to his advantage.”

“He can’t cuddle you like that?”

“No,” Claire exhaled, “hurts my boobs.”

Harry chuckled, “Right. So I take it the date wasn’t a success?”

“A big fat no.” Claire sighed, “God, where am I supposed to meet a decent guy these days. I swear, every app I have downloaded has only lead me to horrible evenings like this. Maybe I should just stay single forever.”

“Yeah, come over to the dark side. It’s fun here.” Harry joked and Claire leaned back in the couch. She wore a sundress with sleeves tonight, pushing it a little in these rather cold temperatures. But Harry had yet to see her in pants whenever she went on a date, it was always a dress.

“So boat shoes…” Harry mused and Claire groaned, “I know.”

“Well, at least it wasn’t flip-flops. Like that guy you went out with a few weeks back.”

“Am I supposed to see the silver lining here?”

Harry smiled and it was quiet for a moment, “You want a drink? Or some food?”

Claire yawned, “No, thanks. I think we’re just going to go home.”

“Really?” His voice jumped a little, “I mean,” Harry shrugged while clearing his throat, “you could stay a bit. Or sleep in the guest room with Atlas. He’s asleep anyway.”

“Harry,” Claire laughed, “I know we’re friends but we’re a bit too old for sleepovers, no?”

Friends.

Well, that hurt.

Harry didn’t protest when Claire gently woke Atlas up, who immediately cuddled into her instead. She kissed his forehead, “Wanna go home?”

“Mhm.” He sleepily responded. Claire picked him up, wincing a bit at the ache in her back. Atlas weighed a bit too much to still be carried by her, but he was too sleepy. Harry gently nudged Finn off, who didn’t wake and rested on a pillow instead, before he let Claire and Atlas out.

“Bye.” He waved in a whisper and Claire waved back once she put Atlas in the passenger seat, “Bye!”

Harry groaned to himself once Claire was out of sight. Friends. Friends. God damn it. He knew it. He had let it go on for too long and now he was friendzoned. He was literally her mum-friend, the one she gossiped to about other guys. Holy fuck.

Harry ran his palms over his face and sighed out, picking up Finn from the couch to carry him to bed and then go to sleep himself.

With the colder temperatures approaching, the next few weeks consisted of thicker clothes and spending less time outside. It got a bit harder for Harry to entertain the boys as they couldn’t go in the pool or play outside too much. It was basically waiting for snow now.

December just rolled in and Harry was sitting in his car, waiting for Finn to be done with school and to take him home. He used to always wait outside his car but it was too cold now, so he waited inside. His eyes scanned the street in search of Claire’s old Toyota. They had seen each other on Friday after she came back from another date, dressed in heels, stockings and a skirt. It was a cute look on her, accentuating her figure.

She said it wasn’t horrible this time but there wasn’t really a connection there, so it would stick to the one date. Harry hummed at that, and he couldn’t really say he minded all that much. He found himself looking forward to her texts, or the moments she’d come home after another disappointment of a date, spilling to him. Even if he was in the friend zone, it still cheered him up to see her.

Dare he say, it was the highlight of his week right now.

So he scanned the streets, not seeing her car. Not when the bell rang and the children were let out. Harry exited his car, a wide grin on his face as Finn ran over to him excitedly.

“Hi, m’love.” Harry crouched down to take Finn into a hug, spotting a blonde head of hair in the corner of his eye. He patted Finn on the shoulder, “Do we need to take Atlas home today?”

Finn shook his head, “No, he said someone’s picking him up.”

Harry frowned slightly, scanning the line of parents until he spotted Atlas, walking over to a girl with black hair and a cigarette between her fingers. She hardly paid him attention and his head was a little low. Soon enough, they made way to the bus station and disappeared from sight.

Harry refrained from texting Claire that night. It could be crossing a line, asking if she was okay. They had never really done that before and usually texted in a very casual way or to discuss picking up Atlas.

He didn’t see her the remainder of the week and it was nearing Christmas break now. Although Harry vowed to never pull his kid into this, he couldn’t help himself but question Finn on Friday.

“So… Are you sad that Atlas hasn’t been here all week?” He asked as they were having dinner, just the two of them.

Finn shrugged. He wasn’t a kid to speak out of line, which is why the poor-comment he made about Claire shocked Harry so much. He had raised Finn to be very polite and respectful. He had taught him that whenever a friend told him a secret, he were to keep it to build an keep the trust. It’s why he felt like guilty now, prying.

“He said it’s busy at home.” Finn answered and Harry flicked his eyes to him, “Busy?”

“Mhm.” Finn nodded, “With his mummy. He says she’s not feeling too well so he stays with her.”

Harry slowly nodded, “That’s nice of him.”

“It is.” Finn agreed.

Silence fell over the dinner table and Harry cringed at himself, unable to let the topic go, “Did Finn mention why Claire’s feeling a little poorly?”

Finn softly shrugged as he poked his food, “He says her face hurts.”

Harry near dropped his fork, stomach twisting in discomfort as he heard the words coming from Finn’s mouth. He softly cleared his throat, “Her face hurts?”

Finn was more interested in his food, simply nodding as he continued eating and Harry finally dropped it. He had a pretty clear idea as to why Claire’s face would hurt. He tightly gripped his fork, staring at his phone on the table in contemplation whether or not to text her. If it was crossing a line.

They had known each other for months now but never really dipped into that part of their friendship – as Claire would call it. Their talks were mostly playful or consisting of their children. They didn’t actually know much about one another on a personal level, they never had conversations like that and Harry wasn’t sure if this was pushing it or not.

So he left it at that. And a few days later, she reached out to him. Claire texted him, saying a guy asked her out on a date on Friday, asking him if it was okay if Atlas stayed the evening and if Harry had the time.

He responded faster than ever, immediately agreeing. Even though the idea that she was going on a date gnawed at him and he was searching high and low for the courage to ask her out himself – it still made his chest flutter that he was going to see her and talk to her.

The gnawing feel overpowered though, especially when he opened his door and she was there in a silk mini dress with tights and a dark purple loose cardigan over her shoulders to keep her warm. The cold was biting and even to drop Atlas off, Harry shortly invited her in.

Only when she was in the lights of the kitchen, could he take a decent look at her.

“Holy shit, what the hell happened to your face?” Was the first thing flying out of his mouth. Luckily for Harry, both Finn and Atlas were out of earshot. Claire exhaled and tilted her head to the side, “Is it really that obvious? I thought I covered it.”

She looked at him with big, round eyes. Her blonde hair was in soft waves laying over her back and all he could really see was the bruise on her cheekbone. He could tell it had faded and had gone towards a muted purple colour with hints of green. He could also see the layer of make-up she had put on over that.

“It’s… I mean, I can tell, yeah. It looks like a shadow.” He explained. Claire sighed, “Great. That guy’s gonna think I’m some crazy woman.”

“What happened?” Harry asked again. Claire took a moment and forced him a smile as she tried to busy herself with the strap of her bag, “Just me being clumsy.”

Harry narrowed his eyes, “I don’t believe that for a second. Why did you have Belle pick up Atlas every single day this week?”

“Because I was working and couldn’t do it.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged, “So? You could’ve asked me. Been doing it for the past few months with pleasure, so why relay on Belle again?”

“She asked, said she could use the money.” Claire shrugged and Harry huffed, “That doesn’t sound like you. Seems unlikely.”

“Yeah, I’m just that much of a bitch, aren’t I?” She responded bitterly, shaking her head to herself, “I don’t know what the big deal is. You got a week free of me and Atlas.”

“Didn’t ask for a week free of either you or Atlas. Neither did Finn.” It sounded like a dig, and Claire flicked her eyes up in shock of his words. They sounded venomous and angry, as if Finn had been unhappy this week without Atlas here in the evenings, and it was Claire’s fault. Harry continued, “Besides, I think the real reason wasn’t you being a nice person to Belle. I think the real reason was that you didn’t want me or Finn to see you with your face beaten up, which is why you hid all week.”

His voice softened and Claire’s stare hardened too. She inhaled a shaky breath, trying to recompose herself even if her heart was hammering violently and she could feel the lump in her throat.

“I’m going to give you a piece of advice, Harry.” She murmured, “If a person shows up with bruises and you have a feeling they’re not telling you the truth, there’s a reason for that. Don’t fucking pry it out of me like that, and why on earth do you even think you have the right or the audacity to do so? I don’t owe you any sort of explanation.”

He opened his mouth but she cut him off, “No, I don’t want to fucking hear it. You don’t get a free pass into my personal life just because my son likes you and we’re acquainted.”

It had gone from friends to acquaintances now. Harry felt the jab to his chest, knowing he had fucked up tremendously. Claire was breathing heavily as she sniffled once, “Now, I’m going to go on a date and attempt to enjoy it. I’ll see you later.” She strode past him and didn’t wait for Harry to let her out. The door slammed harshly until the pictures of Astrid and Finn on the walls rattled and Harry was left in silence.

He sat brooding that night. Checking his phone constantly for updates. Claire’s dates had never been this quiet. Usually she at least texted him when she arrived to let him know what the guy was wearing. There’d be texts throughout if her date said something disgusting or stupid, and at the end of the night to update him on if they had split the check or not.

It had been hours and there hadn’t been anything. With each buzz, he hastily grabbed his phone only to find it was either his mum or some notification of an e-mail he didn’t care for. His leg bobbed impatiently as he sat through another movie night with Finn and Atlas. And there was nothing that could take his mind off of things.

So when he had put the boys to bed and sat down on the couch again to check his phone, it was still empty. He drew up a message to send her but deleted it again, realizing his apologies would never come across through text while she was out with another man. He had to tell her in person, so he forced himself to stay awake.

Claire never came.

She never texted him, she simply never showed up. Harry stayed up for a few hours until midnight passed and then one in the morning, and then two in the morning. His lids felt droopy before he dragged himself to bed with the harsh realization that Claire was spending the night with her date.

He knew. She’d never go home to sleep by herself and leave Atlas here. She always picked him up. The only reason she wouldn’t pick him up, is if she was sleeping with him at his house or in a hotel room.

She was getting fucked, having sex, and Harry knew it.

The dates in the past hadn’t bothered him that much because they always ended up being assholes or losers and Claire was never truly interested in any of them. She never minded that there wasn’t a second date and simply kept swiping on Tinder until finding someone else.

In all the months they had been doing this, she had never spent the night with someone. It made Harry’s chest sink so deep that it hurt. It physically hurt, knowing she was with someone else. Who got to kiss her, touch her, smell her and taste her. Hear her, feel her, be inside of her.

His fists balled as he suddenly couldn’t catch sleep after that realization. He was so fucking jealous.

Harry hardly slept, but when his phone buzzed at around eight in the morning, he was wide awake.

Message from: Claire.

I’ll be there in like ten minutes.

He jolted up in bed and hastily went into the bathroom to freshen up and brush his teeth. Both boys were still asleep but Harry didn’t know for how long. He rushed down the stairs to be there for when she arrived, and like clockwork he heard gentle taps against the door.

He saw her and it only confirmed his suspicions. Her face was free of make-up and her hair was in a bun, but she was wearing the same clothes as the night before. The bruise was more prominent now with the absence of make-up, but what he could see was a fresh bruise. In the form of a lovebite at the base of her neck. It wasn’t that deep or dark, but he noticed straightaway.

Harry cleared his throat, “Hi.”

“Hey.” Claire mumbled, “Is Atlas up yet?”

“He’s not. D’you want to come in? I’ll make some coffee.”

Claire hesitated and eventually followed him inside of the familiar house. She sat down on the barstool she had been sitting in that first time she spent the day here and Harry had his back to her, working his coffee machine.

He swallowed through the lump in his throat, “So I take it you had a good date?”

“You could say that.” Claire breathed. Harry pressed his lips together, keeping his back to her. Claire cleared her throat, “We’re actually going out again next week.”

He turned around in lightning speed, “What?”

Claire blinked, “We’re going out again next week.” She repeated in a soft voice. Harry felt his fingers tightly gripping the countertop, “Like… like a second date?”

“Mhm.”

His knees weakened and he felt the stinging behind his lids, quickly turning around again to face the coffee machine, “That’s great.”

“It is.” Claire agreed, “He’s nice.”

They fell into silence and Harry poured her a cup of coffee as Claire drew a breath, “I can ask Belle, you know? To watch him. Next week.”

Harry immediately shook his head, “No way. Besides, it’s Christmas break. I’m sure Belle will want to do something else than babysit. And I don’t mind. We’re going to set up the tree, I’m sure Atlas will like that.”

“He will.” Claire nodded, “He’s been wanting a tree for a long time. We don’t have room in the apartment.”

Harry flicked his eyes to her, “Right.”

She forced him a smile and they fell into silence again. Harry realized he had never heard silence quite this fucking loud.

***

The week moved agonizingly slow. Claire showed up at school again, her bruise now faded. She picked up Atlas and shot a brief smile to Harry and Finn before spending the evening with her little man.

They cuddled and played board games, even some video games. It was always a task to entertain Atlas during school breaks. Claire couldn’t stay away from work so she usually organized camps for him or he spent a little more time with his father.

Not this time. Claire refused. She didn’t mind finding sitters and paying for them as long as Atlas didn’t spend any more time with Evan than absolutely necessary.

The had realized, after last weekend. After Atlas witnessed the abuse Evan put her through, that she would do everything in her power to keep him away. She wanted to give Evan a chance to be a father to Atlas, but he let him down over and over again. And mostly, Claire didn’t want Atlas to look up to Evan. And inherit some of his less nice qualities, like hitting women.

She couldn’t even imagine – and the thought made her sick – that Atlas would grow up to be like his father. It had resulted in more calls with her lawyer because she was getting slightly desperate for the money Evan owed her.

What had been taking her mind off things, was the prospect of her second date with Alexander. He had been an absolute sweetheart during their first date, so much so that Claire had felt butterflies. She opened up about Atlas and life as a single mum, and he was one of the first who didn’t laugh at her when she said she worked at Burger King. He noticed the bruise but didn’t ask her about it, besides wondering if she was in any pain.

She was, after a moment, from smiling so wide. So he gently kissed her at the end of the night and things got heated. Claire didn’t hesitate when he asked her to come to his apartment and they had spent a night between the sheets. Alexander had some stuff to learn, but Claire could be patient and guide him so he could learn how to satisfy her. She had searched high and low for an orgasm all night while giving him two, but it still didn’t mean it wasn’t fun.

Harry’s eyes had felt heavy on her when she went to drop Atlas off. Claire knew she looked good. She wore black again, a form-fitting dress to show off her curves with high heels to elevate her. She wore a bit of make-up but nothing too crazy and her hair was pinned back with a little butterfly clip.

His eyes had dragged up and down her form, boosting Claire’s confidence tremendously. She could see the heaviness in his eyes as they made a bit of polite small talk. She knew he was sorry about the way he spoke to her the week prior and she knew he didn’t like the fact she was going on a second date with Alexander.

She saw it in his stance, in his eyes. Jealousy. It was fine, Claire felt. Her and Harry did spent a lot of time together and even she’d feel a slight jab to her chest if he’d suddenly announce he was dating someone. In some stupid, crazy way it almost felt like they both had a claim on one another. But neither said anything and Claire wasn’t patient. Maybe she was taunting him, and part of her was. The dates in the past few months had all been disappointing and she expected the date with Alexander to be the same.

But he pleasantly surprised her and Claire had fun and felt seen. After the way Harry had spoken to her, it’s what she needed. And she couldn’t sit and wait around for him to figure out his feelings. She was moving on.

Moving on wasn’t easy though when your date doesn’t show up.

Claire looked like an idiot, sitting alone at the table in the restaurant. She checked her watch again, noticing Alexander was forty minutes late. She had double-checked their reservation to make sure she got the time and date right. She had texted him, called him, without answer. Her texts didn’t even go through, making her think he had her blocked.

She sipped slowly on her red wine until she had been there an hour, and she decided enough was enough. It was nine in the evening when she asked for the check to pay for her wine. The waiter shot her a sympathetic look that Claire brushed off, and she exited the restaurant.

Driving back to Harry’s house, she hadn’t notified him. She had only dropped Atlas off about an hour and a half ago and she suspected the three of them to just be sitting on the couch, watching a movie.

Claire shivered in the evening air as the had rang the door, hearing the familiar footsteps of Harry rushing over to the door before opening up with a frown. It softened at the sight of her. He hadn’t expected Claire here, an hour after she had left. The exciting glint she had in her eyes when leaving, was replaced by something he couldn’t really place.

“What happened?” He asked and Claire shrugged, fighting the embarrassed flush in her cheeks, “He stood me up.” She mumbled under her breath, “Can you grab Atlas? I really want to go home.”

“He stood you up?” Harry frowned, “What the fuck?”

Claire rolled her eyes, “Harry, it’s nothing. I’d just like to leave.”

“We’re in the middle of Monopoly.” He exhaled, “Look, just come in for a bit, you must be freezing.”

Claire hesitated. All she really wanted to do was go home with Atlas and cry in her shower before cuddling him to sleep. Harry opened the door wider, ushering her in, “Come on.”

And so she did. Her feet carried her into the house, met with the familiar warmth that Harry’s house exuded.

“Mummy!” Atlas sounded exited at the sight of his mother, jumping out of his chair to hug her. Claire smiled and kissed his forehead, “Hi, bub. ‘M back soon, aren’t I?”

Atlas giggled and jumped around, clearly very pleased with Claire joining the Monopoly-party.

“D’you want some tea? Or wine?” Harry offered.

“Wine.” Claire breathed immediately and Harry nodded, taking two glasses and filling them with some red wine as Finn and Atlas filled Claire in on how the game was going so far. She didn’t seem too in it with her head but nodded either way, quickly catching up on Harry’s strategy on losing on purpose to let either of the other boys win.

Claire followed along, playing without thinking and losing on purpose. Her wine was finished by the time Finn was crowned as the Monopoly-king.

As Finn and Atlas quickly settled down in front of the television, Claire and Harry were left to clear out the board game from the dinner table they had played at. Claire had put her hair up again with one of Harry’s pencils as they both tucked Monopoly back into the box.

“Some more wine?” Harry suggested. Claire exhaled and shook her head, “No, thanks, I still have to drive.”

“You’re not going home, are you?” Harry frowned, leaning against one of the chairs, “Claire, just stay here. You can sleep in the bed with Atlas. Or there’s even another guest room if you want.”

And Claire was too tired to argue. She timidly gave in and lifted her glass, “Well in that case… refill please.”

About an hour later, they had tucked their boys into bed. It was past their bedtime already but Harry and Claire agreed to cut them so slack since it was winter break and they didn’t have school for a few weeks.

“Do you want a shower? Or just some clothes of mine?”

“Just some clothes, please.” Claire responded, “’M a little cold.”

And so Harry gave her sweats, a shirt, a jumper and a pair of socks she could fit her feet in about three times. It looked a little ridiculous, but Harry had hearts in his eyes when she joined him on the sectional couch. She looked cuddly and soft, and her eyes were a little heavy from being tired and sad.

“Are you tired or do you want to watch a movie or something?” Harry asked as he popped his feet up on the coffee table. Claire was on the other side of the couch with a blanket around her, “Your couch is so comfortable, I’m probably going to fall asleep here.” She contently sighed, “Don’t even need a bed.”

Harry chuckled as he watched her nuzzle into the pillow. With her feet stretched his way, he gently tapped her shin, “How come you’re so tired?”

“’S just been a long week.” She sighed, “Arranging things with my boss for the winter break, so I can hire sitters throughout the day but can stay with Atlas at night.” She explained, “Don’t want him to spend his break with his father.”

Harry took a sip of his wine and softly exhaled, “Can I ask why not?”

Claire flicked her eyes up, appreciating the way Harry was more careful in asking her this time instead of how he approached the subject last time. She swallowed, “Well, he’s abusive.” She softly spoke, avoiding his eyes, “I don’t want Atlas around someone like him.”

“Would he hurt Atlas?” Harry frowned and Claire shrugged, “I don’t think so. But then again, I also didn’t think he’d ever hurt me.”

“He hit you, didn’t he? Two weeks ago?” Harry softly asked and Claire let out a breath, “Mhm.”

“Shit, Claire…” He cursed, shaking his head, “I’m so sorry.”

“’S not your fault.”

“No, I’m sorry for prying. I-I had a hunch and I should’ve just left it at that, it wasn’t fair of me.” Harry apologized, staring at his fingers before he lifted his head and turned to face her. Claire had a sad look on her face, “Just another thing added to the plate this week. His lawyer is literally such a dick. I just… I want this all to be over. To cut ties, to never have to see him again. But I also want Atlas to know his father.” She shrugged, “It’s hard.”

“I can imagine.” Harry sympathized, stroking his fingers over her covered shin. He licked his lip before continuing, “Were you two together for a long time?”

Claire sat up and hugged her legs to her body, her chin on her knee, “Few years. I made some wrong friends in school and went through a phase. I used drugs sometimes, I drank a lot, I partied, dropped out of school… I met Evan during that time and was already on thin ice with my parents. I sort of moved in with him in this little studio. He was – uh… a dealer. And he used a lot. Sort of pulled me into that.” She softly explained.

Claire closed her eyes for a moment, “I even used when pregnant. I didn’t know I was pregnant for the longest time and just kept drinking and doing drugs, I-I had no idea.” She murmured and Harry’s heart cracked, watching her as she blinked away some tears, “It’s literally a miracle that Atlas was born and that he was completely fine.”

It was silent for a bit as Claire relived some memories in her brain. Harry turned to face her more, scooting a little closer on the couch, “Was he happy that you were pregnant?”

“Ecstatic, actually.” Claire mumbled, “He was so happy. Of course, he was high most of the time. When sober, he hardly acknowledged me. He was… very difficult to read. When he was high, he was super happy or the complete opposite. When he was sober, he barely showed any emotion at all.”

Claire took a breath, “The moment my parents knew I was pregnant, they cut me off completely. I haven’t been in contact with them ever since. So I moved in with Evan permanently. Neither of us had a job and he got money from dealing, but it was a dangerous life. He got threatened a lot and was always stressed, he worked that out on me. He hit me, always when he was high. I forgave him, I had nowhere to go.” She shrugged, shaking her head to herself, “It was difficult for a few years. When Atlas was around two, I finally got away. I’ve been on my own ever since.”

The television was softly playing in the background but neither Harry or Claire paid it any attention. She lifted her head to send him a weak smile, “I’m happy now. Atlas is amazing and I love him so much. It’s just… hard sometimes. I don’t want to have to deal with him anymore, it just brings back so many memories and he keeps thinking he’s got some claim over me.” She nibbled her lip, “Atlas goes to his place sometimes on a Saturday. Like… once a month or something. He never stays the night. Two weeks ago he went there and obviously shared stuff about his life. About Finn, about… you.”

“Shit.” Harry murmured and Claire hummed, “Yeah. Evan lost it. I went to pick up Atlas again and he freaked out, said I was… well, every name in the book, really. Doesn’t usually bother me, but Atlas was around a-and I fought back, told him to stop. He just – well, yeah.” She pointed to the faded bruise on her face and sniffed once, “And that’s that.”

“Atlas saw?” Harry whispered and Claire nodded, “Yep.”

“Holy fuck… that guy is insane.” He scooted a little closer again, “Claire, you need like a restraining order. And you need full custody.”

“I’m trying.” She sighed, “I swear, these things take so long. I’ve been trying for months now, years maybe. It’s really not easy.”

Harry exhaled, “No, I know. I know.”

“Do you…” Claire asked warily, “do you have full custody?”

“Mhm.” Harry shortly nodded, “Astrid voluntarily wrote away her rights. She wanted nothing to do with Finn or me, so it was an easy arrangement. It’s more difficult when both parties fight the other.”

Claire frowned, “She… She chose to not be a part of Finn’s life?”

He shortly cleared his throat, “Yeah. Astrid… she’s a complex person, Claire. ‘M not even really sure how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want.” She softly spoke and Harry shook his head, “I think we’re sharing traumas here and it’s only fair if I share mine.” He tried to make it sound like a joke, but there was heaviness in the air. Harry licked his lip, “We met when we were young and got married. Always wanted a family. It didn’t work for some time until Astrid got pregnant with Finn. From the moment she was pregnant I just… saw her change. It’s like she felt suffocated all of a sudden and only then realized how much her life was going to change as a mum. She did all these things, took all these trips spontaneously, like she was scared to be an adult all of a sudden. I sort of let her do her thing, figuring it was just what she needed at that point.”

Claire listened as Harry continued, “When he was born, it got even worse. It was like she resented him. We talked to therapists who brought up the whole postpartum depression thing, but Astrid said it was more than that. She didn’t want anything to do with Finn and actually tried to be as far away from him. Her motherly instincts never kicked in. She took off with her friends, took trips, partied and whatnot, always leaving me here with him. It was like she regressed back to her life in her early twenties. We hardly saw one another, she missed a lot of his first few years. She just didn’t want him. And then one day she just announced that she was leaving. Moving to some island to start over, signing away her rights and… she was gone. We got divorced easily and I’ve been a single parent ever since.”

“Wow.” Claire breathed, “That’s… so crazy. When was the last time you saw her?”

Harry scratched above his brow, “Probably… four years ago? I have no idea where she is right now, or what she’s doing. She’s completely messed it up for me, I don’t want anything to do with her ever again.” He sounded bitter and Claire shortly nodded, “Understandable.”

“It’s just like a sense of responsibility. I don’t know…” Harry mumbled, “We actively tried to have a baby, it’s not like it was a surprise.”

They fell into a silence until Harry exhaled and held up his glass, “Cheers to our exes.”

“Cheers.” Claire chuckled before shaking her head, “How sad are we.”

Harry took a sip, “We’re not sad.” He argued with a soft smile and Claire puffed out a breath, “I am. Can’t believe I got stood up. That was super embarrassing.”

“It’s honestly insane. He’s a fucking asshole.”

Claire pressed her lips together, “I mean, if he just wanted sex, he could’ve said so. I’m not stupid, like I get it. Just fucking tell me the truth and don’t string me along.”

Harry shot her a sly smile, “At least you got an orgasm out of it.”

“He did.” Claire corrected him in a shrug, her voice nothing but a gentle mumble. Harry looked at Claire over the rim of his glass, “Hm?” He wasn’t sure if he had heard her correctly.

She nibbled her lip, avoiding his eyes as she let out a soft breath, “Well – he did. I didn’t – uh… he didn’t get me off.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Harry sounded in complete disbelief before throwing his head back with a laugh.

Claire blushed red in embarrassment and rolled her eyes, “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not!” Harry laughed, shaking his head, “Holy shit, I can’t believe this guy?! He didn’t even get you off and then has the nerve to ghost you?!”

She took another sip, “Well, yeah.”

“He’s literally such a dick, what the hell…” Harry mumbled, “So was he just like… bad or anything?”

Claire’s red cheeks didn’t disappear as Harry continued the subject and she let out a shuddery breath, “I mean, not really. Although actually, yes. He tried, I think.” The more Claire thought about it, the more she hesitated. Sighing out, she forced Harry a small smile, “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does, though. Who the fuck does he think he is.”

Harry’s anger was sort of infectious and she felt the fire in her chest, “You know what? Yes. You’re right. It does matter. Because I pulled out all my tricks, you know? Even gave him head! He came twice!” She rambled and Harry’s eyes widened. Claire let out a sigh, “I just want – you know?” She used hand gestures now and Harry watched intently, “What?” He asked in confusion.

Claire put her glass of wine down on the coffee table with a slight slam, “I just want a fucking guy to just… grab me! Like – “ She pressed her lips together, “just someone to throw me around, have his fucking way with me, shut me up. Make it rough, you know?”

It was Harry’s turn to get red cheeks as he listened to Claire explaining her sexual desires. She seemed lost in her head, sighing again with tense shoulders, “And just claim me?! I don’t know, just like fucking take me and kiss me a-“

Claire couldn’t finish her sentence before feeling Harry’s lips on hers. He had lunged forward at her, near knocking her backwards as his mouth was on hers. Claire yelped in surprise at the short kiss. Harry was panting as he pulled back, only an inch or two. His wine-stained lips brushed hers.

“W-What are you doing?” Claire murmured.

“God, just shut up.” Harry groaned, watching Claire’s wide eyes as he grabbed her waist and yanked her body on top of his. Claire near flew through the air, gasping in surprise as she found herself perched up on Harry’s lap with her thighs on each side of his. Her chest heaved in shallow breaths, hands bracing herself on his shoulders as she stared down at him.

His eyes were dark and deep, lust dripping from him as he sinfully slipped his hands up her covered thighs. They stared at each other for just a moment before Harry grabbed the back of her head to pull her down and reconnect their lips.

A moan from Claire got muffled against his lips. Her fingers dug into his shoulders before moving into his hair, cupping his jaw and sliding into his neck. She touched wherever she could reach, feeling his strong arms wrapped around her form to keep her tightly pressed into his chest. A tug on her hips made her scoot up on his lip, her mouth parting at the bulge in his sweatpants.

“Fuck.” Claire moaned, pushing her tongue into Harry’s mouth. Claire reciprocating was something Harry could’ve only dreamed of. Everything she had been describing was exactly what he had been wanting to do for weeks now, but felt too unsure to do so. He didn’t want to scare her off, yet now he felt fucking unhinged.

The moment his fingers tugged at the jumper covering Claire’s body, she caught on. Her blonde hair flew around as they broke apart and she tugged it off, leaving her in one of his shirts.

“Fucking finally.” Claire moaned as Harry pulled her hips down on his and her head rolled back on her shoulders, “Please – oh god…” She was bucking back into him, hips sensually rocking in wave-like motions to stimulate him. Harry felt the heat radiating from her core, his head dropping back on the couch, “Jesus.” He hissed in bliss.

He lifted his head again, brushing his lips over her pulse-point, “Should we go to the bedroom?”

“Uh-huh.” Claire panted, “Please, I need you.”

A surge of confidence shot through Harry, “Yeah?”

Claire wrapped her fingers in his hair, “Yes.” She whispered, “So bad.”

Harry’s lips nipped on her neck, “Do you need me or do you just need to get fucked?”

“You.” Claire spoke without missing a beat, “Been wanting this for so long.”

Harry pulled back with surprise written all over his face, “What? Really?”

“Yes.” She chuckled. Harry frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything? I-I’ve liked you for months.”

“I know.”

His cheeks turned pink again and Claire smiled in amusement, brushing her thumb over his bottom lip. Harry swallowed thickly, “Y-You know? And you never said or did anything? Kept going on dates with other guys?”

“Well, I could’ve been wrong.” Claire shrugged, “Didn’t want to make a fool of myself and ruin our arrangement or ruin anything for Atlas.”

Harry was about to say something but Claire beat him to it, biting her lip and brushing her hair over her shoulder. Harry’s eyes dropped to the faded lovebite on her neck and his throat tightened as Claire batted her lashes, “Besides, it was funny to see you a little jealous.”

“Played me, hm?” Harry growled, tangling a hand in her hair and Claire gasped at the tight hold he had on her scalp, pulling her to the side a little as his mouth latched onto the still existing hickey. Claire’s eyes rolled back, her hips bucking on their own accord as he deepened the bruise, claiming her. She was ruining her underwear, a sob stuck in her throat from how desperate she was and how badly she needed him.

“Still funny?” Harry licked over the fresh bruise, throbbing and angry purple to disturb Claire’s skin. His fingers dug into her hip, “Answer me.”

“F-Fuck, no.” Claire panted, “God, Harry, please.”

He pulled her hips again, dragging her up his growing cock as he exhaled a shaky sigh. Claire blinked her eyes open, somehow sensing his hesitance, “Are you okay?” She questioned softly, cupping his cheeks. Her nose bumped his and Harry puckered his lips for her to give him a gentle kiss.

“Yeah.” He rasped, “I might – uh… be a little rusty. ‘S been a while.”

Claire nodded, “Okay.”

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek, “No, it’s like been… years.” He mumbled the last part, too embarrassed to actually say out loud. Claire froze on top of him, staring at his eyes which refused to look back at her, “Wait, are you serious? You haven’t had sex in years?”

“Yep.” He exhaled, “It’s, uh… well, I’ve been with women after Astrid, just not many. Had a few one night stands and it just… well, didn’t really do it for me. And I just stopped then, focussing completely on raising Finn and then it didn’t happen anymore.”

Claire was quiet for a moment, taking in the information before she nodded, “Okay, that makes sense. But you… masturbate?”

“Mhm.”

“And… do you want this?” She checked. Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Fuck, yes. Wanted this for weeks.”

“Weeks?”

He flicked his eyes up, “Months, actually.”

Claire kissed him, “Take me to bed, Harry.”

He didn’t hesitate, grabbing Claire underneath her thighs to pick her up. She was astounded at his strength. She had seen Harry shirtless by the pool and had seen him in shirts all the time with exposed arms. She had never witnessed him working out or anything, but he was strong enough to not blink while carrying her up the stairs.

“We’re gonna have to be quiet.” He murmured into her neck, “Don’t want to wake our boys.”

“Definitely not.” Claire agreed.

Harry’s foot kicked open the door of his bedroom, “What I meant is you’re going to have to be quiet.” He quipped with a sly smirk as he dropped Claire on the mattress. She watched him, standing at the foot of the bed to rip off his shirt and leave him topless. Claire’s thigh quivered at the sight of his muscular body and the many tattoos. His abs flexed as he moved and she was mesmerized.

Harry felt another boost of confidence at the hungry look in Claire’s eyes. She laid on her beck and he took her ankle, sliding off the huge sock he had given her before moving over to the other foot, “How do you want it?”

Claire wanted to moan. She tipped her head back with closed eyes, biting her lip, “Hard.” She whimpered, “Deep.”

Harry chuckled, “A little greedy, hm?”

After taking off her socks, he tugged at the leg holes of her sweatpants. Due to the size of the clothes, they easily slipped off of Claire’s hips and thighs, easy for Harry to take off. Every inch of her legs became visible to him, as did the red thong she was wearing. His mouth watered, chucking the sweatpants over his shoulders before climbing on top of her.

Claire parted her legs immediately, arms reaching out to pull him into her. She hungrily kissed him, tangling a hand back in his hair as her legs curled around his thighs to keep him close, close enough to feel him between her thighs. With the disappearance of her sweatpants, she felt him much more clear, rubbing against her pussy.

Harry was hard as a rock, so turned on by her and this moment and the way he had imagined this. He had never been the most spontaneous person – something Astrid loved to complain about – so it took him a lot of courage to just grab Claire and hope for the best. He didn’t want to scare her off or cross any boundaries, and somehow they didn’t really know each other on a level that he knew if this was all okay or not.

But the way she whimpered in his mouth and desperately pulled at him, was enough proof that she needed him badly. And according to her, it was him she needed. No one else.

Claire got impatient, reaching for his hand to bring it between them. She left it at that, handing the reigns over to Harry. His cheeks turned slightly pink and with their lips still brushing together in kisses, Harry nervously skimmed his fingers over the hem of Claire’s panties.

She shuddered, holding her breath, “God – Harry, get on with it.” She pleaded. His eyes closed with a guttural moan, slipping his fingers inside her underwear to stroke between her folds with the rough pads of them. Claire immediately squeaked and jumped in sensitivity of the touch and Harry latched his lips onto her neck again to silence himself.

His fingers moved up and down to feel her, underwear tenting around his hand as he felt her so wet and warm for him, it could make him cry. Slick, dripping pussy as Claire opened her legs wider to allow him more room. It spread her for him, letting his fingers graze over every ridge and bump she had until he settled the pads of his fingers on her clit.

She gasped desperately, her legs so tense and her entire body so worked up. She wasn’t sure if she was hurting him with the firm grip on his hair, but she needed something to ground herself. Arching her back up, she whined, “F-Fuck me. Please.”

Harry groaned again, a sound that went straight between Claire’s legs as he kept touching her clit. He rubbed circles to arouse her more, to get her all wet and open. Harry knew he was rather well-endowed and even though Claire had sex on a much more regular basis than him, it would be presumptuous to assume the guy who couldn’t get her off last week was anywhere near his size.

“Need to get you ready.” Harry mumbled into her neck, lifting his head and finding the strength to look in her eyes. It hit him like a sledgehammer, the look she sent him. Horny, desperate, near crying for him. Her eyes glazed over, her lips in an inviting, swollen pout and her cheeks flushed.

“I am.” Claire breathed out, “So ready. P-Please.”

Harry bit his lip, “’M not teasing you here, Claire. You’ll thank me for it.” At that, he grabbed one of her hands to guide it to his crotch, inviting her to touch him. Claire did so without hesitation, panting out as she fought with the elastic band of his boxers before finally getting her hand in. She paused immediately, eyes flicking up and widening dramatically, “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Harry smirked arrogantly, “Still think you’re ready?”

Her hand felt small around the girth of his erection, stroking curiously from thick base to swollen tip. If there was anything Harry knew, it was that he was fucking ready for her.

Claire let out a shuddery exhale as her head thudded back into the mattress, “Yes, please – I can’t wait. I need you.” She panted, restlessly writhing on the mattress, “I need you inside of me, I need it to hurt. I can take it.”

“Holy shit.” Harry cursed, bucking his hips into her hand. He stared at her, losing his sense of hesitation as he licked his lip, “You have to tell me if I need to stop, okay?”

“Uh-huh. Promise.”

“Good girl.” He whispered, removing his hand from in between her legs. He quickly brought the tips of his fingers to his mouth to get them clean, his tongue swirling around casually before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. Claire was fucking dumbfounded.

Harry jumped off the bed, rummaging one of his drawers as she pushed herself up on her elbows, “Are you going to tie me up?” She sounded almost hopeful and Harry chuckled, shaking his head, “No, I like having your hands in my hair. ‘M looking for a condom.”

“Right.” Claire took it upon herself to slip out of the shirt she was wearing and then remove her underwear to leave her completely naked. She laid on Harry’s dark blue sheets, staring up at the beamed ceiling of his house as Harry grumbled under his breath, closing the drawer to open another, “Found it!” He cheered.

He turned around in triumph but his smile quickly dropped as he laid eyes on a naked Claire. His throat ran dry, seeing the length of her torso, the dips of her ribs and her chest. Full, firm tits and hardened nipples sitting up and waiting to be taken into his mouth. The stretchmarks on her thighs, the lines of her underwear denting her skin and some faded tan lines gracing her.

“So fucking beautiful.” Harry sighed, slowly walking over to her. The pace had slowed a little bit and was less frantic now as he stood at the edge of the bed, letting his eyes drag over her. Where Claire assumed she’d feel shy, she actually felt confident. Harry’s eyes studied her and he looked mesmerized. He wasn’t judging any part of her, he just wanted to see her.

Harry exhaled shakily and shook his head to himself, “Should’ve done this way sooner.”

“I would’ve let you.” Claire teased. Harry smirked slightly as he took it upon himself to open up the square foil of the condom. He dropped his boxers, Claire’s eyes widening and her mouth watering at the sight of his hard cock bobbing up and standing up tall.

“Oh my god.” She whimpered when he shortly stroked himself before fiddling with the condom. “Wait!” Claire squeaked. Harry paused and his brows raised, “What is it?”

Claire swallowed, her eyes glued to his erection, “I want to suck you off.”

“Fuck, no.” Harry breathed, shaking his head sternly as he rolled the condom down his shaft, “If you take me in your mouth, I’m gonna cum immediately.”

Claire wanted to protest but Harry was already hovering over her, knees kicking her legs apart to allow him room. Goosebumps rose over her body at his closeness, his nose continuously brushing into hers as he had one hand around his base to guide towards her.

“Still okay?” He whispered and Claire let out a soft moan, “Yes, yes.”

“Still think your little pussy can take me?”

Her eyes shot open as a tingle of arousal ran down her spine. She bucked up while biting down her lip, somehow not expecting Harry to say anything like that. Claire fought for air, “Yes.” She rasped again, “Please.”

The second she felt Harry’s blunt tip against her opening, Claire focussed on relaxing. She attempted to spread her legs wider for him, focussing on not tensing up any of her muscles as he held the eye contact. Both their mouths opened in a breathless whine as he pushed in. He felt her walls rippling around him, fighting the intrusion for a moment. Hesitation flashed over Claire’s face for a brief second until she breathed through it, her eyes rolling back as her head lolled to the side from the stretch.

“Fuck, you’re so wet and tight.” Harry lowly commented, taking his sweet time in inching forward to fill her up. Claire was panting, her nails digging into his back as she felt the burn between her thighs. He was everywhere, and he wasn’t even fully in yet. Harry paused for a few seconds before rocking in again to get deeper. Claire bit her lip with a high moan escaping her lips.

“Quiet.” Harry whispered, kissing her shortly. She nodded frantically, “I-I know, fuck – you’re so big.”

“You can take it.”

Claire arched, Harry holding onto her waist before sliding his hand up to play with her nipple. He cupped her breast, giving a squeeze before using his thumb to tease her. He used his other hand to grip the bedding, holding himself up on his elbow.

“Fuck.” He whimpered when he finally bottomed out. Harry relaxed slightly, feeling his hips flush to Claire’s thighs. His cock twitched inside of her, a tight fit between her snug, wet walls. She was panting underneath him, the sight so erotic. He couldn’t help himself when he let go of her breast and grabbed her throat instead, giving a light squeeze while kissing her.

He swallowed down her moans as he started moving, rearing back about halfway before rocking in again. He kept the pace slow and gentle for now to let her adjust, and their tongues roamed each other’s mouths in the meantime. Harry was sure to have marks down his back from her nails as Claire clawed at him.

“Okay?” Harry checked breathlessly as he brushed his lips over hers. “Yes.” Claire confirmed, “You can go harder.”

Harry sighed, “Thank god.” And then he picked up his pace and the strength of his thrusts. The breath got knocked out of Claire’s lungs with each drop of his hips on hers, nudging up a spot so deep inside it felt near unbearable yet she still wanted more.

Harry shifted his hips, scooting closer as his lips were on her neck and he buried his face in her throat. “God, you feel so good.” He moaned, “Such a fucking tight cunt for me.”

With the constant shifting in his position, it didn’t take Harry long to find her g-spot. Claire jolted up with a high whine the moment his tip brushed up her front wall, and her legs spasmed. He could feel her gushing slightly as her muscles clamped around him tightly.

“Oh my god!” Claire moaned, causing Harry to slap his hand right over her mouth, “Keep it down.” He hissed, holding his hand to muffle her moans. A tear escaped her eye as he kept pounding her into the mattress in a murderous pace, just like she had asked him to.

“Am I getting you close, baby?” He near taunted, sweat pearling at his hairline and a smirk gracing his pink lips at the sight of her wrecked state, “Already?” He added.

Claire managed to nod and he tutted her, “Good. Found your sweet spot, didn’t I? Right…” He brought his hips back before thrusting sharply, “there?”

Claire’s eyes rolled back as she shook uncontrollably, another wave of squirt wetting Harry, who moaned at the feeling and the sight, “Fuck yes, get wet on my cock, hm? Need you to cum for me, Claire. You fucking deserve it.” He put force behind his words and power into his hips, relentlessly fucking into her.

He kept his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet, and Claire sobbed as she was on the edge. Harry thought about it. Teasing her, torturing her. But her eyes were watery, her nails denting his skin and her pussy so good for him. He allowed her to cum. With two more deep thrusts, Claire convulsed. A scream ripped through her chest, muffled by Harry’s hand as he fucked her through the orgasm. Claire’s legs clenched around him as she arched and writhed.

“’S good, that’s good.” Harry praised, kissing away her tears, “Fuck, that’s so good. Y’feel so fucking amazing, cumming on my cock like that. Such a good girl.”

Claire whined against his hand, her fingers curling around his wrist to pull at his arm. Harry let go, letting Claire desperately inhale the breath her lungs so badly needed. She coughed slightly from the gagging, wheezing in air as her body trembled in the aftermath of her orgasm. Harry’s thrusts had turned into gentle grinding motions, smirking down at her, “Feel good?”

“Oh my god.” Claire whimpered, still shuddering, “S-So good. Holy shit. I’ve never had an orgasm like that.”

They both slowed down a little, Harry’s cock painfully twitching inside of her. Claire blinked her eyes open, “Can you still keep going?”

“Mhm.” Harry swallowed, “Little more. I think I could get you to cum again.”

She smiled, biting her lip, “That would be great.”

He kissed her, smiling against her lips. His heart fluttered as she ran a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp a little. Harry hummed against her lips, still inside of her, “I’m afraid I’m obsessed with you.”

“Same.” Claire breathed back without a thought, her eyes exuding warmth and comfort as she stared up at him. A slight clench of her pussy brought Harry back to his mission of the night. Getting her off again.

Without warning, he lifted up on his arms and slid back, slipping from her. Claire gasped at the loss of contact, watching dazedly as Harry leaned down between her legs and his hot mouth was on her. “Oh! Oh my god." Claire breathed, hips jolting up as he licked at her, tongue wiggling between her pussy lips and up to her clit to give a harsh suck. Claire bit her lip, “H-Harry…” She moaned.

He hummed back, sliding the flat of his tongue up her cunt before sitting up again. He licked around his lips, tasting her before tapping her thigh, “Are you gonna ride me?”

Claire was still catching her breath as she swallowed, “I don’t think my legs work.”

Harry chuckled, biting his lip, “Won’t have to do anything. Just get on top of me.” He urged her and Claire nodded, letting him help her as they switched positions. Much like on the couch, Claire straddled him. The wet of her pussy pressed into the base of his cock, grinding softly as they indulged in another making-out session.

Harry held her hair back and had one hand on her ass, cupping the flesh and squeezing, urging her to grind into him. When he felt like Claire was too scared to fully sit down on him, he slapped her ass and she gasped, no longer holding herself up.

“So beautiful.” Harry whispered, head popped up on a few pillows as Claire hovered over him. They shared little kisses as he urged her hips up to sink down on him. “God – fuck.” Claire whimpered as she took him, slowly sitting down on his cock and feeling him in a different angle.

“Good, good.” Harry praised, his eyes closing as her warm cunt swallowed him, “So fucking good.” It sounded like a slur and both took a moment to adjust again.

“Hands behind your back.” Harry instructed in a strained voice, “Fuck, ‘m not gonna last long.”

Claire quickly obliged, depending on Harry’s arms to hold her a little upright. She was leaned completely over him, face hovering over his. Harry held one hand in the back of her neck with her hair in a makeshift ponytail, and held his other hand around her throat to keep her head tilted up.

With Claire’s arms behind her back, she was completely folded up for him and she loved it. She could feel her wetness seeping from her pussy, making a mess of Harry’s thighs. He didn’t seem to mind one bit, hardly paying it any attention before he started fucking up into her.

The position made Claire gasp, her body going lax for a moment before the pleasure consumed her and she let herself get used by Harry. He was so insanely deep like this, it was almost painful but in the best way. She’d be sore, for sure. She’d feel him for days, the way he stretched her and claimed her. God, it was everything she had craved.

“Holy shit – Claire,” Harry panted, “I need you to cum again.”

“Uh-huh.” She managed to choke out, “Please, it’s so good.” Her eyes watered again and Harry groaned softly, staring at her. They kissed again, his hand no longer on her throat but affectionately cupping her cheek as her tongue slipped into his mouth.

It was like he needed that moment before turning into a full animal. Holding both hands on the makeshift ponytail, he gave her a sharp tug to have her staring up at the ceiling. With Claire folded back in half and her hands still behind her back, Harry was relentless in the way his hips snapped up and his cock moved inside of her wet pussy.

“O-Oh god, Harry!” Claire squeaked, “I’m gonna cum. So hard, fuck.” Her words were jumbled and stuttering, her eyes tightly screwed shut as her second orgasm washed over her. She was quiet this time, unable to get out a sound or a word. Harry let go of her hair and Claire dropped her face in the crook of his neck, panting out desperately as she clenched and shuddered and convulsed around him.

Harry’s eyes rolled back at the feeling, “Shit, oh god.” He cursed, sliding both hands down to her ass to knead her and keep her firmly pressed to him. He grabbed the flesh, spreading her cheeks and rolling her back down onto him as he finished inside of the condom. He was sweaty and clammy, and Claire was sprawled out on top of him without the ability to move.

Both stayed like that for a moment. Claire shuddered every so often, her muscles tensing after two harsh orgasms as Harry was melted into the bed with her on top of him. They shared gentle caresses, his fingers dancing over her spine as she stroked her thumb over his jaw, “Wow.” Claire whispered after a few minutes.

Harry lazily smiled with his eyes closed, “Yeah. Wow. Shit, that was good.”

“Mhm.” She hummed and Harry sighed, “We should clean up a bit, hm? And go to sleep?”

Claire was yawning as she agreed, “Yes.”

Grabbing her hip, Harry gently nudged her off. Claire let him, no strength in her legs as she fell on the mattress next to him. Harry’s cock slipped out of her, softening up inside of the condom and he hissed in sensitivity as he got up and headed into the en-suite bathroom to clean up and dispose of the condom.

After washing his hands, he went to get Claire. He pulled her up, “C’mon, you need to pee.” He whispered. Claire fought to keep her eyes open, fully naked as Harry helped her into the bathroom and gave her the privacy to use the toilet.

Both brushed their teeth after that and collapsed in the bed. No words were spoken when Harry pulled Claire into his side for her head to rest on his chest and her arms to wrap around him. He cuddled her back, brushing his lips over her forehead, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She whispered back, giving one more kiss to his neck before falling asleep.

Harry feared that it might be awkward in the morning, waking up with Claire after that. But it wasn’t. If anything, his heart soared as he was woken up with kisses to his chest, leading up to his neck and his jaw as her hand stroked over his side.

He shortly squeezed her body, eyes still closed, “Hey.” He rasped. Claire smiled into his neck, her leg hooked over his hips, “Hi, good morning.”

He kept his eyes closed as he lazily rolled around with her, changing the position until he was cuddled into her side with his face in her neck, “What time is it?”

“The sun’s coming up.” Claire responded in a whisper. Harry’s arms were around her and he inhaled her scent, puckering his lips, “Hmm.”

“Think we woke anyone last night?”

His lips curled into a soft smirk, remembering every second as he let out a breath, “Don’t think so, no. How are you feeling?”

“Good.” Claire whispered, shifting a little in his hold until she cupped his jaw. Harry’s eyes opened as he felt her kissing him, a few gentle pecks placed on his lips. He smiled involuntary, staring at Claire who looked giddy and sparkly in the morning.

“This is a nice way to wake up.” He whispered and she hummed, “It sure is.” They were in silence for a bit until Claire took a breath, “So what’s usually for breakfast on Saturdays?”

“Pancakes.” Harry yawned. He gently squeezed her waist, “Wanna help me?”

About ten minutes later, they were in the kitchen. Claire was dressed in her underwear and just a shirt of Harry’s, reaching well over her ass while they roamed around the kitchen to get everything for the pancakes and stealing kisses in between. Harry could hardly focus on the stupid pancakes, constantly having his hands on her and hiking up the shirt to get a peek of what was underneath.

“Harry.” Claire giggled, “The boys will be up soon.”

He stood behind her, pushing her into the countertop a little as his fingers toyed with the hem of the shirt. His lips were on her neck from behind, “We’ll hear.” He whispered, “Just a quickie.”

Claire didn’t say anything, and Harry felt her giving in as she relaxed. He smirked into her neck, “So good for me.” He murmured lowly, bunching the shirt up around her waist. He pulled back a little to stare at her ass, covered by the thin band of lace of the red thong. He bit his lip, grazing his thumb over the fabric, “Let me get a condom.” He whispered.

She whined in protest, grabbing his wrist to keep him right where he was, “No, fuck that. Just do me.” She sighed, “Fuck me bare. I wanna feel you.”

Harry groaned, not needing more convincing than that. He was quick, hooking her thong to the side and pushing his sweats down. He spat down into his hand to lube himself up, guiding between her ass cheeks to find her weeping pussy. Claire leaned over the countertop a bit more to make it easier, and Harry pushed in slowly again.

He watched, the way her fingers gripped around the edge of the countertop, the way her back tensed at the intrusion, the way her head dropped and the way her legs trembled as he entered her again.

“Are you sore?” He whispered, urging her to stand up straighter again so he could wrap his arms around her. They slipped underneath the shirt, palming her tits as Claire leaned her head back on his shoulder, “A bit, but it’s so okay.” She responded. Harry hummed, nipping on her neck as he started fucking her. He was sensitive, early in the morning. His cock was painfully hard and he sighed in bliss of being inside of her again.

The kitchen was silent apart from the steady ticking of the clock and the faint sound of a car driving by every once in a while. They breathed sharply and heavily, but both kept their moans down. The only other thing that could be heard was the sound of Harry’s hips slapping into her ass, fucking her from behind.

It didn’t feel like enough anymore, and after a few minutes he slipped out to turn her around. Grabbing her thighs, Harry easily lifted Claire up on the countertop, lips hovering over one another as he pushed in again. His cock shone in the slick of her arousal, easily sinking back into her pussy as she sat up at the perfect height.

He held one hand on her thigh, hiking it up over his hips as he fucked her quickly and sharp. “Fuck.” Harry choked out a whisper, tugging Claire to the edge to get deeper. She leaned back on one palm, watching him intently as Harry fucked her for his own pleasure. She didn’t mind. Claire was too sore and tired to reach an orgasm, but watching Harry as he neared his own end, was mesmerizing.

No words were spoken, but his jaw went slack and he buried himself deep inside of her when finishing. As Harry felt like he was unable to keep his moans down, he desperately kissed her, spurts of his cum filling Claire on an early, lazy Saturday morning in the kitchen. His fingers dented her hips as his orgasm seemed endless, fucking her bare. She felt amazing and he hadn’t expected anything less.

Both were panting as the ringing in Harry’s ears subsided. He relaxed a little, unclenching his muscles as he stroked up Claire’s sides, “Shit, you didn’t cum.” He panted out. She hummed, “That’s okay. You can make it up to me later.”

He breathed out a chuckle, it quickly disappearing as he heard a door upstairs. Claire’s eyes widened and Harry glanced around to reach for tissues. He slipped out of her, using the tissues to clean up any spilling of his cum. In an ideal world, he’d watch intently as it oozed out of her swollen cunt, possibly use his mouth on her decently this time.

But they didn’t have time. Footsteps from upstairs hurried down the stairs and he heard the giggling of two little boys as Claire hurried into the downstairs bathroom to clean up and get decent. Harry washed his hands and used a clean cloth to wipe down the countertop.

By the time Claire returned from the bathroom, the sight in front of her warmed her heart. Harry was playing around in the kitchen with Atlas and Finn. And everything just felt so normal. She walked up behind him as he stirred the pancake batter. It didn’t feel weird when she wrapped her arms around his form and pressed a kiss to his clothed shoulder, “Can we stay for breakfast?”

Harry glanced at her over his shoulder, seeing the softness in her eyes. He smiled and reached back further to bump his nose into hers, “You can stay forever.”

//

[chrisevansonly]

omg imagine one of the f1 guys dating reader and then fans find her old tumblr (probably tweeted about it once years ago) and she used to write like harry styles fics but was super popular on tumblr and probably 1dff before it shutdown (people be sharing those rare pdfs lmao)) probably had an au fic of harry as an f1 driver lmaoooo 🤭

PLEASE this is so good, im gonna do something with it tomorrow but i HAD to answer this so you know i got it🤣

oh my god i’m excited to write this one 🤭

[hyacinthmonster]

The AU is still having the poll to decide it's name but this is my design for BroilingTale/SwelteringTale Sans!

I'm very happy with it.

I don't have much of a reason for why but I decided that he needs an item to help his weak soul. His soul is smaller than the average monster or human so he needs a soul enhancer stone which also provides a great amount of cooling to the body, great for a world that's boiling hot most of the time.

"Kinda like having a heart problem and constantly needing a hydration bag." "W/out stone soul is abnormally small. His soul is bubble like." - Words in the box.

His soul is like a bubble, it's a little more durable than one but it's still very fragile closer to a thick glass lamp or something of the like, the stone helps his soul have enough strangth so he doesn't get warn out to much (which would be bad in a world where you kinda need to use parkour to get around) or get effected by the stress from the heat.

Averagely he has: 1Hp 1Att 1Dff

W/ souls enhancer he has: 11Hh 6Att 5Dff

He has a "Karma" ability that basically results in any attack acting like a cut on a person taking blood thinners. It adds 10Att damage when used.

He also uses a type of plasma knifes that add 5Att when used normally and 15Att when activated. He tends to use them like throwing knives or duel with two of them. He also uses them to cook with his brother.

Thus when he has to end up going all out he has: 11Hp 26Att 5Dff.

Due to him and his "heroic" brother traveling around alot, not to mention the soul enhancer increasing his mood (kinda like an anti-depressant that works), he has grown to be very acrobatic and quick. He is most likely to be the first to take the jump and get to the otherside of a broken building, however he's also the most likely to get stuck in a tree but hide that fact by napping in it untill his brother or dad get him down. Thanks to him and Papyrus's dad, W.D.Gaster being a retired royal scientist the two are relatively good at science, magic, and building things. Sans took a good amount of interest in making things to do with teleportation and any kind of magic really. Papyrus took more interest in things that can work without self made magic like using the environment and any natural resources rather that be plants or even steam.

Sans is lazy when it comes to things outside of traveling place to place, inventing/building, Outer space or the galaxies, and family. When nun if this is relevant he tends to just sleep or rest.

He has alot of pockets and bags, all of which Carrie his tools and an assortment of silly items. His favorite way of messing with people is to pull out things that logically shouldn't fit in his pocket. He will play innocent pranks on people but they never get too outta hand.

Don't know what else to say about him right now... Um I guess he likes to drink hot sauces and can handle every kind. Oh and he likes pet bunnies.

Think that's all for him right now. Going to work on Papyrus's design later, I'm expecting to struggle with him.

[almondharry]

you look so good : one

you look so good [5.6k]

“You must think you’re so hilarious, don’t you?”

A charming smile crept on his face slowly. “It is why you married me, isn’t it?”

“I am beginning to rethink that decision. Not one of my finest moments.”

“You’re thirty years too late for that, love.”

There was a pause, then a loud scoff. Her jaw hung open in disbelief. The napkin that laid on her lap was flung towards his chest with a soft thump. “We’ve been married for 32 years, you wanker! Don’t tell me you forgot!”

Alexander and his Algebraic K Theory

September 2, 2019

It was a slow night. There was not a single car found between the thick yellow lines freshly painted in the lot. A flickering lamp post finally gave out. The moths previously circling it floated to the next one. Besides the elderly couple arguing over a crossword puzzle in their booth, there were crickets in the diner.

The checkered floors were swept and each table was found crumbless. With a broom in hand, she would pretend that she was a chess piece being moved strategically. Genevieve sat behind the counter with her chin in her palm, textbooks in front of her, and a highlighter in hand. With the cap caught between her teeth, Genevieve dragged the yellow ink over the numbers she found important. The mint green coloured plastic stool did little to relieve the ache at the bottom of her spine. Occasionally she would hum in tune with the soft melodies the local radio decided to play– the songs were interrupted by cracks after every three songs, a pattern she had observed. She preferred night shifts over day ones. When the diner was close to deserted, it gave her the perfect opportunity to crack open her books and get started on her coursework that she was weeks behind on.

Flo’s Diner was a well known spot for people to grab their fix of greasy comfort food. It was sandwiched between a laundromat and a music shop. Red leather booths lined the perimeter and mismatched frames of posters and photographs hung on the walls. There was even a twenty year old menu, slightly browning and curving in at the corners, behind protected glass. 

“Excuse me! Dear!” 

Genevieve abandoned her work, her fingers expertly gripped the neck of a steel teapot before carrying it over to the booth the voice came from.

“More tea?” she offered with the raised pot.

“Oh no, darling, I just called you over so you can tell Eugene that cholesterol is the word he is looking for in the across.” The man sitting across from her had grey hair that was combed neatly to one side. He wore a deeply indented frown on his face. He grumbled something under his breath as he kept his eyes glued to the newspaper in front of him. “I tried telling him, but he has suddenly decided to ignore my existence. Couldn’t watch him struggle like that. It’s painful, really.”

“Well.” Eugene squinted his eyes behind his glasses to read the name tag on the left pocket. “Genevieve, maybe you can help me to find a four letter word that is a synonym for annoying.” Eugene crumpled his face in thought, his eyes brightened a moment later. “Nevermind I’ve got it! It’s W-I-F-E.”

A chuckle scratched the back of Genevieve’s throat. She tried to distract herself by tipping the pot to refill their cups with pursed lips, but it tumbled out and Eugene grinned. This only prompted his wife to cross her arms and narrow her eyes at him across the table. 

“You must think you’re so hilarious, don’t you?”

A charming smile crept on his face slowly. “It is why you married me, isn’t it?” 

“I am beginning to rethink that decision. Not one of my finest moments.”

“You’re thirty years too late for that, love.”

There was a pause, then a loud scoff. Her jaw hung open in disbelief. The napkin that laid on her lap was flung towards his chest with a soft thump. “We’ve been married for 32 years, you wanker! Don’t tell me you forgot!”

His face stretched into a wide smile, the corner of his eyes crinkling upwards. “Of course I knew, Maggie. Just keeping you on your toes.” His left eye dropped in a quick wink. “Genevieve, can we have the bill, please?”

“I’m on it.” She nodded and headed towards the register to print out their receipt. Genevieve exchanged their dirty plates with a credit card machine, not forgetting to include a few chocolates that are kept in a jar by the register. On her way back, she heard Maggie smack Eugene's hand away from the sweets. 

“No chocolates for you.”

“One won’t knock me dead,” Eugene counters with a huff. 

“Tell that to your diabetes specialist next time, won’t you? I’m sure he’d love to hear all about that.”

By the time Genevieve returned from the kitchen, Eugene and Maggie had gotten up. He was helping Maggie with her walker by the front door. They would be bundled in scarves and hats in no time. 

“Have a great night!” Genevieve called out with a smile and a wave. Similar goodbyes were echoed back, and Genevieve went back to their booth.

The clanking of the bell–much like one that would be strapped around a cow’s neck– above the door signified that she was the only one left in the diner other than Walter, who was prepping in the kitchen for breakfast meals. Walter was quiet as a mouse, making a noise only when absolutely necessary, so it was her and her books for the rest of the night.

Genevieve cleared the table of the machine and she swept up the small crumbs left behind with a dishrag. She folded the discarded crossword and the flimsy paper crumpled under her hold. She rearranged the condiments into their set spot. As she fiddled with the jam holders, the bell above the door chimed once again. 

Without turning towards the door, she called out, “Forget something?” She scanned the table for keys, wallets, anything of importance. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for customers to rush back in for their valuables a minute or two after leaving the diner—but Genevieve didn’t see anything left behind. 

Her brows furrowed when no one responded, and she turned around to discover Maggie and Eugene were long gone.

The lanky figure that stood across from her was disgustingly familiar. His jeans had rips at the knees and his boots were on the brink of falling apart. The wind outside had coloured his cheeks and thrown his hair in a way that veiled his eyes. It was shorter now, more blunt than she recalled. The longest strand–that once would hit his chin–sat at the tip of his nose. 

Genevieve was the first to grasp a handle on the situation, as he was too busy struggling to remove a folded book from the pocket of his denim jacket to notice the scene.

He hadn’t seen her yet.

She still had time to get away.

The impulse thought was to plan an exit. There was a back door on the other side of the restaurant. Too far. She could grab a seat at any booth and stay out of sight. Or– the kitchen door was only a couple of steps away. If she acted fast enough, maybe even ducked her head down, she would go unnoticed. She could beg Walter to take his order and hide in the back until he got up and left.

In the midst of her plotting her exit, her body betrayed her. Her feet felt like heavy frozen blocks, cemented to the tiles beneath. Somehow her throat became wrapped with spiky barbed wire. Her hands were damp and fingers pruned as if she had just wiped them with a rag after drying wet dishes. 

A hand swept his hair back to clear his sight, and Genevieve wanted to become as invisible as the crumbs lodged between the tiny cracks of the tables.

His lips parted and his eyes blinked quickly, the urgency reminding her of flapping butterfly wings. He swallowed a lump in his throat as his green eyes widened, becoming more awake and alert. 

Genevieve was very familiar with his eyes, a shade of green like the plush moss that stuck to tree barks and abandoned stones. The corners of his eyes flicked up when he focused them in on her. There was no denying how beautiful he was. With his strong jaw and sharply contoured face, he turned heads immediately, he was something to be awed at. A sprinkling of colour dotted the high points of his face, meaning he had recently gotten some sun. But Genevieve paid close attention to his soft features, unable to tear her eyes from the slope of his neck and the dips of his bitten lips.

He was a bit too much at times. His presence could overwhelm and suffocate you. His shy smirks and beaming smiles and obnoxious laughter. He took up space and his beauty was borderline interrupting. Uninvited. 

Despite it all, Genevieve despised how good he looked. 

There are countless things in the world that sting. A sharp needle to a finger, a flat iron on high heat and of course, and, the worst of them all, Harry Styles walking in at Flo’s Diner. 

“Genny?” Harry breathed out, his bottom lip curved into a perfectly cut slice of peach, and Genevieve almost winces in pain. 

His voice is like sugar being melted over a pot set on high heat—sweet, caramelized, and could burn you if you let it. 

There were sleepless nights where Genevieve had given a thought to this situation. What would happen if Harry stood in front of her? The scenarios she had concocted in her brain closely resembled hell freezing over. She was sure time would stop and the Earth would split open. But when she looked down at the floor, there were no cracks. It stayed intact. The needles on the clock continued to turn without a pause. 

Harry Styles stood in front of Genevieve, and she felt nothing. 

“It's been too long.” 

When Harry took two steps closer and positioned his arms for what Genevieve knew too well to be a warm hug, she quickly retreated towards the pile of laminated menus. 

Struggling to make her stale smile as welcoming as possible, she looked him in the eye. “Booth or table?”

Genevieve swallowed pennies as the silence prolonged, while Harry’s brows were curled in confusion from the formality. His arms held their place for a moment too long—awkward, expecting—but dropped them at the clanking of the bells above the door. Her chest visabily deflated, as if she was pricked with a sharp sewing needle, and her lips parted to sigh a breath of relief now that she and Harry were no longer alone. Somehow having others around steadied Genevieve’s heart rate. 

A group of three came staggering in the diner with loud laughter and limbs intertwined from holding each other up. Their cheeks flushed and they wore matching grins. 

“Harry! You didn’t even wait for us, tosser!”

“He went so fast! Did you see him? I did—” hiccup “—not.”

“It must be the long legs. How do you not get dizzy?”

Genevieve blinked back to Harry. His eyes were the clearest of the bunch, the supposed designated driver of the night. She tried to manage what one can only call a subpar attempt at a smile. It was plastic and stretched her face in a way that hurt. “I’ll get you a booth.” She nodded.

Harry noticed it didn’t reach her eyes. If this was a different time, he would’ve made it painstakingly obvious to her that she wasn’t fooling anyone. Instead, he let her turn away.

“At least his bum looked super cute.” A voice, Genevieve presumed to belong to Harry’s friend, giggled. “Have you been doing squats or some shit, because you were flat as a board!”

“Now that’s progress!”

“Must be those nasty green drinks.”

“Oi!” Harry interrupted their banter. “That’s enough from you lot.” The mischievous laughter subdued to amused snickers as the group struggled with their coats by the rack. 

Genevieve busied herself with placing the menus on the table of the empty booth. The first one of the bunch to reach the booth was a pint sized girl. Her face was covered with orange freckles and her chopped hair sat below her chin. Her steps were a bit muddled in her short walk to the table, but she managed just fine to her seat. A strong scent of American Spirits followed her like a cloud heavy with rain. With heavy limbs, she plopped down and her face instantly laid on the cool surface. She let out a dreamy sigh and closed her eyes.

Harry took a seat across from the sleeping girl in the booth, and Genevieve scampered towards the kitchen. She went with the intention to let Walter know that orders will be coming up soon, even though she knew he didn’t need the heads up.

Harry used his index finger to poke at the flesh of the girl across him, but her arm didn’t move at all. This action was repeated twice and the same result was given. “Angie’s down, guys,” Harry called out to the rest of the group. 

This caused the two vacant seats in the booth to be filled.

“Fuck, not again.”

“I’m not carrying her this time, I did twice before.”

“Zayn, she puked on me last time. I reckon you can carry her once more.” 

“Oh sod off, Liza. She gets cranky and pulls out my hair, no bleeding way.”

“What if we just…” Liza leaned forward on her elbows that were supported by the table. She dropped her voice a couple octaves lower. Her eyes blinked from Harry’s sober ones to Zayn’s clouded. “Left her here? It would stop her from pulling this again.”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger, his head shaking at their drunkenness. The fact that this was an actual topic of conversation and it was actually happening was insane, but nothing out of fashion. 

Zayn tilted his chin, as if the possibility was a film tape reeling in his head.

“I am still very much conscious, thanks for your concern.” On cue, Angie raised her head up from her quick snooze. Her hair was tied in knots and a line of saliva connected her back to the table. “I love knowing I can depend on my lovely friends to look after me. What’s next? Leaving me an abandoned alley? Leaving me locked out? Oh wait, you lot have done that already! Cheers!”

“Oh stop exaggerating, Angie.” Liza rolled her eyes. The paper napkin was scrunched up and dragged over Angie’s mouth as she grimaced. “You are no angel here, you had your fair share of responsibility in that.”

“Let’s talk about how you guys wouldn’t be having this conversation if you left me with that fit bloke at—”

“Jesus, Angie,” Zayn groaned. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “We’ve talked about you using your shit coping mechanism to get over—”

The temperature in the room dropped by a few degrees. Icicles hung in the air. “If you utter her name, you are dead to me.”

Zayn sighed deeply at the hardened glare the messy girl shot his way. “Just saying you can do much better, yeah?” His words were soft, tender, and just what Angie needed to hear for the night.

“Yeah, Z.” Angie sighed, her shoulders dropping. She shifted in her seat and laid her head on the wall. “It’s just hard at first.”

Liza and Harry sat beside each other with their menus in hand. 

“I say do whatever to get over that bitch, really. Sleep with whoever you want. I’m pretty sure that waitress was cute, get her number,” Liza suggested with a loose shrug of her shoulders. Harry’s knee jerked up and collided with the underside of the table. This caused the salt and pepper shakers to almost tip over.

Zayn shot a funny look, his brows drew together. “You alright, H?”

“Great, should we order now? I’m starved,” Harry prompted. “I have an early morning, so I need some food in me.”

When met with collective nods, Liza signalled Genevieve, who had just come out from behind the swinging kitchen doors. Genevieve plucked out a pen and a pad of paper that was stored in the front pocket of her apron. Each step she took towards their group made her want to take two back.

Liza was first up to order. She went for the scrambled eggs and avocado toast. Zayn ordered his black coffee and eggy bread. Genevieve tried to make eye contact with Angie, but she was still browsing the menu. She wanted to prolong avoiding a specific awaited conversation for as long as possible.

“I’ll have the number two special, but no eggs,” Harry spoke up. 

“‘Course, will that be all?”

“I’ll get a tea.”

“How do you take it?” The question was simple, but to Harry it manifested a slap to the face. Genevieve knew well how he took his tea. He had taken it the same way for years on end. But the thing about people is that they change and grow apart. Harry’s lips parted slightly and the downward tilt to his brows deepened as he looked at Genevieve with a dumbfounded look that said really? 

“Harry, mate, you done?” Zayn said, looking from Harry to Genevieve. 

Harry cleared his throat quickly. 

“Milk, two sugars.” 

“Yeah.” Genevieve gave a nod and looked away. 

Harry ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Thanks, Genny,” said Harry. A drunken giggle followed right afterwards from the girl seated across from him. Angie cupped one side of her face as she stared at Harry with a dopey grin. “What’s so funny?”

“Even I’m not drunk enough to read her name tag wrong, you numpty.” Angie found the white tag pinned on the left of Genevieve’s chest and all eyes squinted to read the somewhat broken letters. “It’s Genevieve. That’s pretty.”

Genevieve cleared her throat. “Um, Gen is just fine.”

“Alright, Gen, can I please have some banana pancakes with extra syrup?” Angie asked. Genevieve nodded and scratched her pen against the miniature pad of paper. After she had written down all the orders, she began passing the pen between her fingers. “What else do you recommend here?”

“The eggs and bacon are really popular, I always go for the traditional English.”

“You see, I’m not really the traditional type, you know?”  

This prompted Liza to terribly disguise her bubbling chuckle behind her pursed lips. The shifting pen in Genevieve’s hand halted. It also caused Harry’s boot to meet Angie’s shin. 

“Bloody hell, Harry.” Angie scowled as she jumped further back into the plush cushion of the booth. “Are your legs fucking spazzing tonight? Do we need to take you to an A&E?” 

“That’ll be all,” he interrupted. After he saw Genevieve’s back disappear into the kitchen, he narrowed his eyes at his scowling friend. “You’re ridiculous, Angie.”

“Loosen up, H. I was so close to getting her number, but I reckon you need it more. Why are you always so wound up?” Angie spat. “Live a little. You didn’t even have one drink tonight.”

“I have work tomorrow morning and I’d rather not show up half intoxicated.” Harry shot her a knowing look to which she responded by rolling her eyes.

“Alright, that was one time, okay!” 

“One too many.” Harry smirked. “You know she tipped over a whole shelf of books on herself.”

“Did not.”

“Bloody hilarious.” Harry shook his head and smiled widely. 

There was loud chatter, drunken mumbles, and bickering. Angie was complaining about an overdue assignment, Zayn had just came off the waitlist for his stats courses, Liza’s thumbs were typing away at her cell phone screen, and Harry was trying not to look at the swinging doors one too many times.

When Liza’s phone met the table and she leaned forward towards Harry, he sunk in his seat. He had been caught.

“You have the look,” Liza whispered, brown eyes narrowing at his green ones.

“Do I?”

“Hmm.” Liza was observant. She picked and prodded and critiqued until she would dig deep enough to find her pot of gold. She liked knowing things about people and places, she wasn’t afraid to get personal and into uncomfortable territory.

Harry found her nosiness particularly amusing when other people were under her investigation lamp. Especially when Zayn would bring girls home and they would be scampering in the morning. When the light was aimed at him, however, he froze, and sweat formed above his brow. “You’re jittery, your eyes are bouncing off the walls, and you’re calling girls by different names. Wanna tell me what it is now?”

“Just hungry is all, Liz.”

“Sure. I’ll just find out when I do.”

Angie and Zayn were preoccupied with their little side conversation to pay them any attention. Zayn had mentioned he had her professor before, so he knew the marking structure. Angie was bribing him into finishing her assignment.

“I’m not hiding anything.” Harry shrugged.

“I believe you.” Liz nodded, her back resting on the cushioned fabric. “For now, at least.”

Angie groaned dramatically, drawing everyone’s attention to her. “It's all numbers, Z, you know I can’t count above fifty. Whose brilliant idea was it to stick a maths course in an arts degree, anyway? What genius thought that the people who—”

“Angie—”

“Do me this one, and I’ll owe you.”

Zayn didn’t have a chance to answer since plates of warm food hit the table. Cheers from the group erupted. The heavenly smell was enough to quiet down any discussion. 

Instead of Genevieve delivering the food, it was an older man with buzzed hair. He smiled, his eyes crinkling, and asked if there was anything else they needed. He filled their drinks and let them devour the greasy comfort. 

“So good,” Liz moaned. Angie nodded and mumbled an incoherent agreement. 

The three were too busy shoving forkfuls of food into their mouths to notice the missing waitress. Harry chewed his food slowly. Maybe it was a misunderstanding on his end. Did he really expect to hit play on something that had been paused for so long and watch things go back to his parameters of normal?

Change was unavoidable, and it was evident even in the small things. He noticed she preferred to leave her hair down now, instead of her previous pony tails. She wanted to be called Gen. Her eyes, once full of fight, were now barren, almost bleak. Harry wondered what else had changed as his fork scratched his plate. Did she really forget how he takes his tea? Or did she not want him around? He frowned at the thought. 

Harry knew that Genevieve didn’t owe him warmth and comfort, besides, he got enough of that from the friends surrounding him. What Harry needed was to look in her eyes and not see vacancy. 

***

October 25, 2019

“Jesus.” Liam shook his head when he spotted Genevieve by the tree across the street. Its roots ran deep, the width of the trunk was more than the length of her arms. There were framed pictures, a few candles and wilted flowers laid against it. 

They both had matching stacks of photocopied paper. Each one identical.

Flatmate wanted. 3212 Ashford Street, Apt number 12. One bedroom. Parking available. On campus location. Utilities included. Call below for more details. 

“I know I told you to put the fliers in prime locations, but I reckon above a student memorial isn’t the best of places. That’s poor marketing,” Liam whispered harshly as he jogged over.  

Genevieve rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut your gob.” 

Liam and Genevieve both knew she wasn’t here to stick a thumbtack onto the tree. 

She squinted her eyes and crouched forward to get a better look at the framed picture. Gravel crunched loudly under the soles of her boots as her knees sunk into the dirt. The girl in the pictures was around her age. She was pale with short, dark brown hair and front bangs. The backdrop was a classic blue, the ones used for high school graduation photos. She had a thin smile and her eyes crinkled in the corners. Her name was written with neat swirly letters: Jenny Wu. There were notes about her being a loving sister, a daughter and a dedicated church volunteer.

“When was this?” Genevieve inquired, looking down at the handmade cards that had the weight of stones to keep from flying away. 

She looked up at Liam. Behind him dark clouds were floating in. The wind had picked up and dimmed some of the flames. Genevieve pulled at her jumper to trap heat. 

Liam scratched the back of his neck. “Almost two weeks? Maybe three.”

“Shit.” Genevieve breathed out.

“Drunk driver hit her when she was on her way home. Can you believe that? Some people can be so fucking reckless.” Liam scoffed as he crouched down beside her. He fixed some of the tiny frames that had toppled over. “She died on the scene before the ambulance arrived so they couldn’t do much, but the bloody tosser made it to the ICU.”

“That must be so hard for the family.” Genevieve reached in her pocket to pick out her cigarette lighter after spotting a few unlit candles. Her thumb helped to ignite a spark and she cupped the glass jars with her palm. She repeated this until there were a couple steady dancing flames.

“I saw them on the telly. The mother said something about forgiveness and not letting her grief turn into hatred of him.” Liam shifted to lean on the trunk, his arms folded as he looked down at her. “Like, that sounds like a terrific thing to actually do, but I can’t imagine myself especially in that situation. I would be up in flames.”

There was a moment when Genevieve saw snippets of what she assumed to be Jenny’s life. In her head, Jenny was a brazen girl with a sharp wit. She was studying politics and international relations and juggled a part-time job as a cashier. She was the head of the debate team and won their last championship. She had a younger brother who got on her every last nerve. She was learning to play the piano. 

She liked to think each person had a well crafted formula to model their life. Each one unique and distinct from the other. Everyone was working towards balancing their equations. Some were lengthy and angry looking and some were simple and short. Essentially what mattered was that they always tended to work out.

Genevieve knew first hand that solving one of these formulas was like maneuvering a spider’s web. It could get messy, tangly and dizzy. Often times there were just too many unknown variables and sticky irrationals that needed to be ironed out. And on rare occasions, webs would seem to stretch out across empty fields.

“Yeah, me neither.” Genevieve stood up quickly. Her palms patted at her knee caps. “Let’s go? We still have a few.” She waved the stack of A4 papers.

Genevieve was halfway down the street when she realized there weren’t matching steps following her. She turned around and saw the curve of Liam’s back still slumped by the tree.  

“C’mon, let's get you a flatmate! Sitting on your arse won’t make rent any cheaper!”

Liam sighed but got up with a low grunt. 

Genevieve smiled. “Last one to the car gets dinner!”

***

“Oi!” Liam hissed. “You’re a bloody cheat!”

Genevieve looked over her shoulder and raised a brow. “How so?”

The sidewalk was a narrow strip with small potholes that held bowls of rainwater. Liam lagged behind, muttering under his breath. The glowing neon open sign of Peter’s was only a short distance away. Genevieve inhaled a breath and the aroma of gooey cheese and tomato sauce danced about. She glanced above just as the streetlights were beginning to flicker on.

“You were already ten steps ahead from me. Practically two away from the car.”

She grinned. “All I am hearing are excuses.”

“You’re making me buy you a pizza after knowing I can’t make rent and you cheated.”

“It would be the polite thing to do after your friend spent relentless hours across campus for your service.”

“It was hardly twenty minutes.”

Genevieve scoffed. “I still haven’t heard a thank you.”

Liam rolled his eyes at her dramatics. “You’ll get it when I find a decent flat mate.”

They were in front of the heavy door. Liam had picked up some speed and was closer to the door. His hand pulled at the handle, and a bell above sounded loudly. A comforting heatwave greeted them. 

“After you.” Liam points his chin towards the inside. The shop was nothing fancy, it was owned by a family and had promising specials. Genevieve eyed the awaiting door. She blinked from his grasp to his eyes with brows shot up. “It’s just a door,” Liam chuckled. “You can hold it when we leave.”

As she placed their order of half cheese and half pineapple, Liam slipped out his phone. His thumb hurriedly typing over the keys. He craned his neck towards the door.

“Alright?” Genevieve raised a brow.

“Yeah, I have a friend from the radio coming by to drop a USB key for tonight’s show. Is that okay?”

Liam had gotten a new gig. Two students had got together to launch a student lead radio show on campus. Liam’s curiosity started a couple months earlier and the fliers across campus advertised they were looking to take on more people. 

“‘Course! How is that coming along so far? You liking it?”

“Absolutely loving it, it’s fucking sick. Sometimes I think no one is actually listening, but then I get a call or a request to replay a certain track or talk more about a topic. It’s fun, keeps me on my toes.” He grinned, his teeth on display. “You should drop by, see the workings. It’s much more thrilling when you’re actually on air.” 

“If my arse is ever up at 2 a.m on a Wednesday, Thursday or Monday, you’ll have my company.”

“We both know you, of all people, are,” Liam emphasized. Genevieve was notorious for her review and course work schedule that didn’t seem to have a beginning or an end. It lead to sleepless nights and cramped shoulders. “Doors are always open. It’s a dodgy basement, quite small, but there’s a couch that has your name on it. Smells like piss, so come at your own risk.”

“Creepy basements and pissed on couches, you’re really selling this to me, huh?” Genevieve raised a brow with a crooked smile. The door opened with a quiet jingling of the bells, bringing in a gust of cold air and a set of heavy doc marten boots. 

“Promise it isn’t as bad as it sounds—” 

“Don’t listen to him, its absolute shit with next to nothing funding.” A hand slaps the back of Liam’s back. “But beggars can’t be choosers, so we’re working with what we have. I’m Liza, by the way.”

She had full, tightly coiled curls that sat on her shoulders. They bounced as she looked from Liam to Genevieve. Her eyes were perfectly almond and a colour of honey that was only seen in magazines. 

“I’m Gen.” She offered her a smile.

Liza’s lips puckered in thought for a moment, her index finger lightly tapping them.  “Gen, Gen, sounds awfully familiar.” 

“I’ve talked about her before in passing. She’s the one studying Maths.”

“Brave one, you are,” Liza hums, a sympathetic glaze washed her features. “Isn’t it one of the toughest courses? That’s all I’ve heard at least.”

“It’s not too bad.” Genevieve shrugged. “I’m keeping afloat.”

“Have you got the USB?” Liam implored. 

Liza’s fingers dipped into the front pocket of her skinny jeans, presenting a stick the size of her thumb. “Oh, you’ll also be needing the keys to the panel, just make sure the grid is okay. I know the computer is freezing, Zayn will pop in to take a look at it.”

Genevieve had stepped aside quickly when her order was placed on the counter, leaving Liam and Liza to their conversation. There was a lot of nodding and a couple chuckles. She came back shortly with a medium sized white box. 

“What are you two doing Thursday night?” Liza prompted with hopeful eyes. “I know it might be short notice, but I’m playing with my band at this pub. Both of you are expected.”

“You got the gig? That’s insane!” Liam gasped, his smile bearing teeth. 

“We did!” Liza chuckled at his excitement. “It’s nothing fancy, and it’s one of our firsts, but gotta make it count. Bring your mates. The more the better.” The beeping of a car horn from outside, impatient and loud, made Liza shut her eyes tightly. “Fucking Angie has the patience of a two year old.” 

“We will be there.” Liam nods, and Genevieve smiled. 

“Cheers–” Another set of honks followed. “Fucking hell! I’ve got to run, text me if you’ve got any questions with that.” She pointed at the USB key in Liam’s hand while taking backward steps towards the door. 

“Will do!” Liam waved dismissively. 

She was gone as fast as she came. The doors swing shut, leaving Liam and Genevieve with another gust of cold air. She turned to Liam with a small smile. “She’s nice, I like her.”

“Yeah? She—” Before Liam could finish his thought, the door swung open again, this time with a bit more urgency. Heads snapped to the ringing of the bells. It was Liza, her eyes wide and a knowing gleam shining bright. An animated light bulb hovered over her head.

A loud snap. “Gen! From the Diner!” 

“That’s me.” Genevieve shook her head with a laugh tumbling out from her lips. With another wave goodbye, she was gone.

“—Great.” Liam finished.

***

© 2019 almondharry All Rights Reserved

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[thisheartofminex]

adrenaline rush : one

She makes it all of five steps before there’s a hand gently clasping around her right wrist. Instinct has Phe pulling away from the owner of the rather large hand, it fits around her wrist too easily. Her head turns so quickly she’s not sure that she didn’t whip them with her hair.

When she sees it’s Harry, her heart rate doesn’t go down but instead continues to pump at a mile a minute.

“Yes?” Phe asks, trying to sound like she wasn’t spooked by him at all. Hates giving off any other impression that she was cool, calm, and collected.

“What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.”

“Which historical region of Greece includes the capital, Athens?”

Phe’s not really paying attention to the pub quiz as much as she normally would have, considering she enjoyed it when her friends made comments about how bright she was (although they were said in a teasing matter it stroked her ego nevertheless). But tonight, she wasn’t feeling like her usual self. The Shamrock wasn’t a pub that she would choose to frequent in her spare time, especially because she knew that it was her brothers' friends and associates local. Phe was under no influence of the type of people that flocked to her brother like a child to a sweet shop, and it was made clear to her a long time ago that she was to keep those people at an arm's length.

So, to say she was a little on the edge tonight would be accurate. She’d only come because there was a promise of leaving right after the quiz but where they’d go after would depend on if they won or not. Before she left, they’d all go to Adam’s after whatever house party they’d been at and carry on with their night there. But Adam’s parents had sold their house and moved to Wales seven months ago and quite frankly nobody else’s place, or parent's, could even compare.

“G’wan Phe, you should know this one.”

Zayn gives her a nudge to her arm, softly encouraging her to participate. One glance at his face and she knows exactly what he’s thinking. He can see she’s not being her normal self and he knows that she didn’t want to come here. He’s the one who promised they’d shoot off after the quiz, with a promise of getting a McFlurry after.

“What’s the question?” She chirps at Natalie, moving to place her elbows on the table across from Adam’s. Her mother’s mantra of ‘elbows of the table’ echo’s through her head briefly but she ignores it, focusing on answering Natalie’s question as Adam rolls his eyes at her. It was typically the three of them that banded together and won quiz night, since if one of them missing and the success rate dropped significantly, no matter who else was there. The others like to tease them about it, but they laughed it off and drank the winning booze.

Taking a swig of her drink, she makes eye contact with Lauren, who gestures in the direction of the door leading upstairs. Phe knows exactly what she’s getting at and nods, making sure to leave her jacket on the chair next to Zayn, in hopes of nobody trying to steal her spot.

On their way back down from the toilet, they bump into a friend of Ronan’s, Kieran, who coincidentally happened to be leaving the toilets the same time as them and takes it upon himself to come sit with their circle of friends. He’s telling them about some sort of low-key boxing match that’s happening in town tonight, in a couple hours to be precise.

“Is Ronan here?” She asks, looking in the direction Kieran came from. He’s holding a fresh pint in his hand, with it almost spilling over the edge. Phe makes sure not to be in range of it as she starts walking back to the table.

“No, he’s already at the fight with Jimmy and Fat Boy. We’re gonna go meet up with them in ‘bout half hour though.”

“Meet who?” Zayn asks as the girls take their places from before and Kieran pulls a chair up for himself. He starts telling Zayn about the local match, telling him that it’s so and so’s cousin up against somebody else’s nephew. Adam starts to join in the conversation, all three of them discussing it amongst them whilst Phe, Natalie, and Lauren work on the last three quiz questions.

When the boys go outside for a smoke it’s announced that cheez is the winning team, with a total of twenty correct answers out of thirty. The group win a free bottle of wine and Lauren’s the one who goes to the bar to collect it with their sheet of answers. Natalie and Phe are discussing if it’d even worth sharing the prize or if one of them should take it home, since they did most of the work, as per usual.

It’s Kieran’s loud voice that startles them out of their conversation as he announces that they’re all going to see this boxing match. Phe just looks to Zayn to gauge his reaction but instead of dismissing it and reassuring her with one look, she’s moderately surprised when he comes to the defense of the man besides him.

“Why not? Pretty dead here, might as well.”

That’s unlike Zayn, Phe thinks. The Zayn she knows would go grab a six-piece chicken nugget meal from McDonald’s before going home and smoking a spliff in bed. Zayn didn’t do clubbing, although he had been quite a few times between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one, when Phe wasn’t even legally allowed to drink, let alone drive. Since then he’d got into a routine of going to work, coming home with the occasional pub visit here and there. On an especially exciting week, he’d join Phe and Natalie for lunch on a Tuesday. Maybe even see his other friends on the weekend.

Lauren comes back from the bar, carrying their prize in both hands proudly before she’s asked if she’d wish to go and see this fight. With her agreement, it seems settled that the five of them are now joining her brothers' friends in their abnormal Wednesday night. Typical of Ronan and his friends to be doing reckless things without much thought put behind it. Phe wasn’t one to shy away from most things but even she had to question that it was a little shady that some unofficial boxing match was taking place in the middle of the week.

Before she knows it, they’re being joined by two men she recognizes from her elder brothers' school friends and they’re being squished into a mini bus. With her and Lauren being the smallest, the candy floss pink head of hers ends up practically sitting in an Adam’s lap and Phe’s able to squish between them and Zayn.

They arrive at some shifty looking warehouse type after being in the van roughly twenty-five minutes, since the roads were rather clear. Phe has a rough idea of where she is but isn’t too sure, makes a point of finding Ronan and sticking to his side for the remainder of the night (unless he was with a girl – then she’d keep her distance enough, since last time she saw Ronan out with a girl he ended up snapping at her for being there, as if she were some stupid teenager). Hopefully they’d make it home early enough not to wake their parents.

It must have been getting on a bit when they turned up, since the place seemed to be harboring more people than she expected. Phe notices a very distinct vibe immediately, with the air smelling of cheap beer and sweaty bodies. Clearly the spectators had been here quite some time before they showed up, for the floor was sticky enough to indicate they had been. So, when Natalie says she’s getting a call from her boyfriend (he lived a good forty-five-minute drive on a good day), Phe says she’ll join her outside.

“Don’t be long you two, it’s ‘bout to be startin’ soon, yeah?” Kieran tells the pair enthusiastically, with a smile and a wink from Zayn as they promise so come find them in ten minutes give or take.

“Not want anything from the bar?” Nat asks her, to which Phe tells her that she’s not really feeling that shit booze vibe tonight. The girls laugh in agreement, standing to the left of the double doors outside. As her friend lifts the phone to her ear, Phe makes herself busy by pulling out a cig and lighting it up. She doesn’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation so stands with her back leant against the brick wall, not looking in Nat’s direction in hopes of giving her some privacy.

There’s a small group stood just a few feet away from the pair, consisting of three guys and two blonde girls. The girls seem to be pretty cozied up with the men they’re stood closest to, both leaning towards them as a source of heat presumably, by the way they're dressed. Phe can understand, it’d been almost twenty-five degree’s today, so a dress was an obvious choice. Although, everyone seems to forget that once the sun gets down it’s still eligible to reach at least fifteen degrees, so Phe made sure to bring her denim jacket. Since it had so many pockets, it’d also made bringing a bag to quiz night seem pointless.

The third man, unlike the other two, smartly chose to wear a long sleeve CK jumper. He’s stood with his side profile to her, holding a plastic cup full of beer in his right hand, which seems to have a couple of rings on. Phe tries her best not to stare too much in the group's direction, but she can’t help but people watch. They seem to be happy to joke between one another, although she can tell that the two girls are regretting their choice of no jacket. So are the guys, probably damning their t shirts.

Phe hears Natalie say something along the lines of ‘train station’ and she glances over at her friend, who’s stood facing the ugly brick wall that she’s leant against, taking drags of her cigarette lazily. Not five seconds after the phone conversation’s coming to an end.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna spend the night at Aaron’s.” She tells her friend, “the train stations literally just ‘round the corner and he’s gonna pick me up from his station.”

Phe asks again if everything’s alright, to which Nat assures her that it is but she wasn’t really feeling like staying in this dungy warehouse too longer, would rather spend the night at her boyfriend’s. The next train is in ten minutes, so Phe offers to walk her to the station. Natalie’s lucky because the train station was a ten-minute walk down the road and she just makes it on time, giving her friend a hug goodbye and a promise of a text when she was safe.

When she makes it back, she spots Zayn stood outside, chatting with the group outside from a distance. Brown eyes spot her and shout a thanks in their direction before turning his attention towards her, reaching out to grab her arm gently.

“Where you run off to, huh? It’s startin!” He says, gorgeous face frowning softly, “Where’s Nat gone?”

Phe lets him know the situation, as he puts his arm around her shoulders and guides her towards where the rest of their group are sat inside. One glance back behind her and she makes eye contact with the dark-haired man in the jumper. She expects him to divert his eyes, ashamed for being caught staring, but if anything, he does the opposite. Has the nerve to drop his left eye into a wink as he takes a swig from his cup of what she presumes is cider.

Phe doesn’t falter once, just gives him a once over before looking inside, seeing the overhead lights have dimmed significantly. The small crowd, if you could even call it that since there were maximum of fifty people, had turned their attention towards the center where a boxing ring seemed to be conveniently placed.

Her stomach does a summer salt when she see’s this, and when she see’s the two men in the middle. Especially when she clocks on that they both seem to lack the proper fighting equipment for the sport, supporting bare knuckles.

Oh Ronan, she can’t help but think to herself when the first punch is thrown.

There weren’t much these days that she didn’t expect her brother to have some part in. She understood he liked to have his hand in somebody’s pie, whether it was good for him or not. Especially when it came to the drug kind.

But this? This was new, even for him. Glancing over at said elder brother, stood next to his new ‘friend’, she can only hope that this was only a mild fascination for the sport. There was only so much that their parents could handle, too, and she didn’t want them having to worry about him more than they already did.

Phe tries, she really does, but when the second match starts, she can feel her patience running thin. The girl attached to Ronan’s side was getting on her nerves, from the way she was shooting dirty looks in Phe and Lauren’s direction, to the way she kept batting her real mink eyelash extensions up at her brother. She’d sobered up a while ago, whilst they were in the cab over since she’d only had a couple of drinks at The Shamrock, so the house music overhead was only jumbling her thoughts up.

She makes sure to let Lauren know that she’s just going to the toilet, shooting a wink up at Zayn as he looks at her brush past him. She knows him like the back of her hand and could speak to one another with just a look. Natalie was also like that, she’d known her for almost as long as she knew Zayn, since he was originally her brothers' friend first.

In the toilets, it’s not so loud and allows Phe a moment to herself to think. She thinks about work tomorrow and how thankful she was that she had a later start. Even goes as far to check the time, 10:18, and calculate how much longer they’d be here and how many hours of sleep she’d be able to get.

Taking the time to wipe her hands dry, she throws the paper towels into the nearby bin before giving her auburn locks a quick smooth down. When she makes her way back to her friends and brother, it’s clear that it’s some sort of half time, probably to give the crowd time to go buy more drinks. Phe’s blue eyes land on the broad back stood talking to not only Zayn, but Ronan and his friends too. Lauren doesn’t seem to be particularly listening, from the way she’s stood, but the men seems to be very interested in what he’s saying.

“Phe-” Zayn starts as his hazel eyes lock with hers, Lauren perking up also, “stayin’ at mine tonight, yeah?” He puts his arm around her shoulders, guiding her to stand facing Lauren, not the strange man.

But she gets a glance up at him, and recognizes him from the guy outside in the CK jumper. Pink lips are parted as he seems to be saying something to Ronan, too quiet for her to hear even though she’s less than three feet away. Sure, the spectators around them had quieted down since there wasn’t currently two guys trying to kill each other in the ring, but they were making enough noise for her have to strain just to her the two people closest to her.

“Who’s that?” Instead of acknowledging Zayn’s question, or Lauren’s unsure look, she makes sure to not stare too hard and just does a small nod in the man's direction to indicate who’s she’s asking about.

“Harry, a mate of Ronan’s.” He whispers back, removing his arm from her small frame before repeating his previous question.

She just nods, sneaking a glance towards Harry again, only for his eyes to wander down to her. A small smirk appears on his lips as jade green eyes look her up and down, body turning ever so slightly in her direction. Phe thinks he’s about to say something but his attention is taken away by a familiar blond from before. Said blond whispers something in Harry’s ear, who just nods and utters a ‘see you later’ to the men stood around him, dares to throw a wink in Phe’s direction, then makes his way towards where she assumes the fighters are waiting.

For a moment she’s a little thrown off by the handsome stranger, from his brown curls seeming to be effortless styled off of his face, to the air of confidence that he gave off. Not to mention the wink? Some part of her is saying that they’ve met before, but they can’t have even as much as glanced at each other, otherwise she’d remember.

Phe could tell he was the type of man that you can’t forget about, wouldn’t let you forget about. From the peeks of tattoos at his collarbones she could tell that he was the type who could ruin a girl's life without a second thought.

It was almost as if that wink was some sort of promise.

***

After the last fight ended, everyone was quick to leave and continue their night somewhere else. Nobody seemed too keen on sticking around since the bar wasn’t open for much longer after the bell rang and the winner’s name was called out. So, since Lauren had to use the toilet, herself and Zayn chose to wait inside for her instead of risk being bulldozed over, whilst the rest made their way outside for a smoke.

They’d open the all two fire escape doors, which helped a little, but also not really. By the time Lauren comes out, pink hair visible from a mile away, it’s cleared out enough to Phe’s liking.

The three of them step outside, Phe wanting to say a goodnight to her brother before they all head off to Zayn’s for the night. Lauren’s folks are out of town this week, seeing some relative’s, so she’s crashing along with Phe. They’d most likely end up sharing Zayn’s bed together, with him either on the sofa or in bed with his roommate, Niall, depending on if he was home and what mood he was in. The Irishman had declined coming along tonight because he wasn’t feeling too ill and didn’t want to make himself any worse.

Lauren spotted Ronan first, pointing him out to Phe. He was stood with the girl from earlier, thinks her names Ava but doesn’t remember being formally introduced to her, who’s stood as if they were joined at the hip. Kieran’s talking to him, cigarette in hand matching her brother’s, whilst the girl just leans against him like a human post.

Phe manages to say goodbye and goodnight to her brother whilst ignoring his ‘friend’ completely. Even goes as far to say a bye to Kieran, before she’s making her way over to where Zayn and Lauren are stood waiting besides an uber that just pulled up.

She makes it all of five steps before there’s a hand gently clasping around her right wrist. Instinct has Phe pulling away from the owner of the rather large hand, it fits around her wrist too easily. Her head turns so quickly she’s not sure that she didn’t whip them with her hair.

When she sees it’s Harry, her heartrate doesn’t go down but instead continues to pump at a mile a minute.

“Yes?” Phe asks, trying to sound like she wasn’t spooked by him at all. Hates giving off any other impression that she was cool, calm, and collected.

“What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.” Very aware of his hand still holding her arm, she glances down at where they’re connected. Green eyes follow and let go, making sure to brush her fingers as they do. Phe expects him to backdown at her brashness but he just smiles.

“Your Thorns sister, ain’t you?” He doesn’t move, continues to stand in her circle of space without a care in the world. Even places his hands in the front pocket of his jeans, which are jet black and have holes in at the knees, like her own.

“Whatever gave it away.” She says dryly, dark brows raising slightly as she takes a glance in her brothers' direction.

Although he chose to keep his hair cropped short, you could still tell that he was a natural ginger, albeit a darker shade than her own. The freckles on his nose gave it away, too. Ronan had been the lucky one who was blessed with a light dusting of them paired with the ability to tan nicely. Whereas Phe had been cursed to be fair skinned forever, with the absence of any prominent freckles.

“I’m Harry.” He holds his hand out between them this time, letting Phe get a good look at the Rolex on his wrist. Her father always said that watches weren’t for telling the time, but simply just for show.

“Phe.”

“Phe.” He repeats, almost satisfyingly, like a child finally getting the answer they’d been dying to know. Since she’d barely placed her hand in his, she’d expected his hand not to engulf her hand so easily. A quick glance down at their still connected hands and Harry starts to let go, making sure his fingers brush the length of hers.

“You’re slipping through my fingers.”

At first, she doesn’t realise that he’s making a joke, albeit a rather poor one, and can just about manage a blink in his direction through her confusion. It’s only when he sends her another wink paired with a little wave of his fingers as he walks off does it click in her head.

With an eye roll and a sigh she makes her way over to her friends.

[ktrsss1fics]

Let’s talk about Fearne and Louis.

[booksncoffee]

hands off my heart, two

Before last night, everything about him had faded into the past as a distant memory — she worked so hard on getting there — but now they’re at the forefront of her brain.

Everywhere she turns she sees him. 

She sees them. 

tumblr // wattpad // story page // thoughts

taglist: @niallhoranistodiefor @niallsguinnesss @missy14us @potatoniall2020 @niallsguitarsthings @my0nly-remedy @narryfdreaming @daydream4life @jolanda @floralguccistyles @yourpolaroid07 @stepping-into-the-light @nannav47 @unicornqueenieeee @percysaidnever @miorni​ @onlyjjs @awomanindeniall​ 

[smokeinherperfume]

Primavera

A Prince! Harry AU, aka Harry is the Victorian fiancé of your dreams, aka a whole lotta smut. 11k

Content warnings: Smut, smut, and more smut... wait did I mention there’s smut in this? Use of mature language as well.

So, here it is! I’ve been working on this piece for an embarrassing amount of time, but it’s finally done! Does this make any sense? Probably not, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! I know I played around with the titles and how all of that works, so just indulge me on this. 

Special thanks to my wonderful betas @real-work-of-art @aileenacoustic and @bfharry ; and to my angels @hsogolden @hazzlot @talesofstyles and @sav-vol6 for listening to my nearly endless rambles about this.

It was just a perfect day. Spring had come early this year. 

When you could, you stole away from the main estate, tending to the nearly overflowing garden nestled beside the small cottage. Far from the crowd in the main house, it gave you the separation and the space that you’d never been afforded before. With everything happening so quickly, it gave you the room that you needed to think things over, to clear your mind when the mounting responsibilities became too much. If anything, it reinforced your grip on reality, acting almost like a tether to the life you once had. 

As you finished up trimming the peonies, you stood up, gently wiping the grass off your long, violet skirt; pulling your white gossamer shawl in closer while you moved down the pathway. When the poppies came into view you beamed, seeing how much they’d grown already. Figuring they’d add some nice colour to the interior of your small cottage on the grounds, you snipped off a few, placing them into the wicker basket by your side.  

You were settled by a bleeding-heart bush, tending to it to see if you could do anything to encourage it to grow when you heard galloping in the distance. Reckoning that it was just one of the stable keepers taking one of the new mares out, you ignored it, continuing on with your work. Lost in concentration, you didn’t hear footsteps approaching or the squeak from a hinge when the gate to the garden opened. You hummed softly as you went along, tucking your legs in close to your body while you carefully pruned the large plant.

“You know you’re a right spitting image of Persephone herself whenever I find you out here, m’love.”

“Does that make you Hades then?” You easily quipped, recognizing that voice from anywhere. “Because, if we’re being honest, I think you’re much more handsome than they describe him to be…”

Setting your sheers to the side, you glanced over your shoulder, smiling when you saw Harry. Standing by the poppies, he was humming as he thumbed the leaves on one of the large stems, watching the flowers sway in the wind before glancing at you. 

“Well I’m glad you think that way darling, otherwise I’d be absolutely beside myself.” Striding deeper into the patch to where you were, he stopped to stand beside you, bending down to press a quick chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“Have you been out long? You feel awfully warm.” He remarked, looking down at the plant in front of you and to the massive bunch of flowers in the nearby basket.  “Well look at these, nearly as beautiful as you.”

You couldn’t stop the heat creeping across your cheeks when he spoke, his words even in such an innocent context making you react in ways you never had before. 

“Always such a charmer.” You laugh, tucking your hair behind your ear. “But no, I’ve not been out for very long. At least it doesn’t seem to feel like it's been a while….”

Humming in approval, Harry carefully moved to kneel beside you, glancing at the blooms you’d been fussing over. 

“Is this a new one love? I don’t remember this from last year.” Reaching out, he carefully brushed back the foliage, eyeing the pink buds with curiosity. “These are hearts, aren’t they?” Quizzically raising an eyebrow almost in disbelief, he glanced over at you. 

“Bleeding hearts actually, the gardener said a Scottish botanist found them, and so naturally the Styles estate is the first in England to have them.” 

You’d never seen him look so perplexed, and ultimately over just a simple flower. Shaking his head, he stood back up, gently rocking back and forth on his black riding boots, a trait that he tended to do when something was bothering him. You were about to speak, but he quickly cut you off. 

“I’m going to go for a swim for a bit. Perhaps you’d like to read on the dock? Might be a nice break from all your tending…” He quipped, toying with the silver rings that lined his slender fingers. Knowing that if you went he’d be likely to tell you what was on his mind, you simply nodded, rising from the ground. 

“I’ll just put the flowers inside and I’ll meet you down there. Is that alright?” You asked, cradling the wicker basket in your grip.  Harry nodded, a gentle smile curling up on his full lips. 

“Of course, petal, I’ll see you down there.” Leaning in, he kissed your cheek before leaving the garden, already untucking his billowing white shirt while he headed towards the small lake. 

~*~

It had taken longer than you anticipated, not realizing just how many flowers you’d brought back from the garden as you scoured the cupboards for suitable vases to hold them all. By the time you were finished you were rather pleased, setting them throughout the house. Heading into the main room you strode over to the bookshelf, humming as you thumbed through the books before settling on one that you suspected would hold your interest. You didn’t anticipate Harry really letting you get engrossed in the novel, he always had such cheeky means of stealing your attention when he went for a swim. 

Picking up your wide brimmed hat, you set off, striding down the grassy knoll towards where the dock was. Cautious so as to not soil the hem of your skirt, you strode down the wooden path, stopping just shy of the edge. You sighed, noticing that in his haste to get into the water, Harry had left his clothes in a rumpled heap on the dock just beside you. You tried to see where he’d gotten off to while you folded the garments, setting them a bit further back, placing his boots neatly beside them. Carefully, you slipped off your shoes, thankful that when you were away at the cottage you could get away without wearing all that unnecessary hosiery. You dipped your feet into the water, humming at how cool it was. 

You’d just picked up your book, starting to read when you felt something cold grasp your ankle, making you shriek in shock, barely keeping yourself from falling into the water. Looking down you rolled your eyes when you saw Harry floating in the water nearby, his wild chestnut hair slicked back from the water, tanned skin dripping when he tickled down to the arch of your foot before letting go.

“ ‘Lo sweetheart. Glad you could finally join me.”

“Honestly , I don’t know what I’m going to do with you sometimes.” You sighed, pulling your legs back so you were safely out of his reach. 

“Simply incorrigible.” He sighed, his pitch wavering whilst he pretended to be like one of the many Lords, his signature Cheshire cat grin creeping across his face. “But unfortunately, my dear, it seems like you’re stuck with me.” 

“I suppose I’ll just have to make due.” You teased, letting your hands rest on the warm dock behind you. “How’s the water today darling?”

“ ‘S alright, not too cold-- would be more enjoyable if you were in it though.” He winked, coming up to rest his forearms on the ledge beside where you sat. 

“So, what are you reading today?” His hand drifting to run along your calf, aimlessly tracing shapes on your soft skin. 

“Jane Eyre, I have to admit I’m quite surprised I found it on your shelf Harry… doesn’t seem like something you’d typically enjoy.” Carefully closing the book, you placed it to rest on top of Harry’s folded clothes. 

“What can I say m’love, I’m a man of many tastes.” With a wry wink he flicked some of his dripping hair back out of his eyes, the spray only just missing you. You just leaned back, slowly dragging your toes through the cold water, Harry resting heavily against the dock. 

You sat in silence, his gaze almost fixated on the old warped wood in front of him. He was worrying his lip between his teeth, looking rather lost in thought. Usually when you’d come out to the lake he simply couldn’t stop chattering away, but there was clearly something on his mind today. 

“So…are you going to tell me what’s bothering you? Or would you rather we pretend like everything’s alright?” 

Gently pulling him out of his reverie, he blinked momentarily before straightening his posture, his fingers tapping against the dock. Finally, his eyes met yours, his emerald irises clouded over with something you couldn’t exactly lay your finger on. 

“I have to go to America, they want to expand our connections to some kind of business in New York…..” Letting out a deep breath, you saw his posture slouch slightly in the water.

“New York? Well that sounds lovely. Is it after the wedding? Can we go together? I’ve heard so much about it!” You had to admit, you weren’t quite sure why he seemed so distressed at the prospect. You’d both been rather keen on being able to travel more once the rush of things to do at the estate was over, and America especially was at the top of your list. 

“It’s not as simple as that I’m afraid darling—The problem is…they’ve scheduled for me to leave soon, alone.” 

“Well how soon then? Surely they wouldn’t send you off before we’re married, would they? It’s easily a month long trip, you’d be cutting it rather close.”

He let out a weak breath, unable to look at you while you tried to reach out, Harry dodging your touch. “I’m scheduled to leave tomorrow.”

“T-tomorrow? You can’t be serious.” You pulled your feet out of the water, backing away from the edge, watching him in disbelief. 

“If you leave, you’ll likely… Harry you’re going to miss the wedding.” You couldn’t believe it, rising up to your feet. He didn’t know what to say, and just stared at you, his gaze pleading with you to listen. “Y-you’re going… you’re going to miss your own wedding? Our wedding? Just for a business opportunity that you’re not even sure of?”

It was unlike you to be like this. Your relationship was a bit unconventional in contrast to the rest of the couples on nearby estates; but Harry always viewed you like an equal, wanting you to be more than just a docile woman he came home to. You were both remarkably lucky to have met when you did, stumbling across each other one day in a book shop of all places. Both reaching for the last copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets of all things, Harry was smitten from the start, insisting that you take it, along with the promise of him being able to see you again.

It was as easy as that. Sure, there had been difficulty when his family found out you weren’t quite at the same social standing as he was. But for Harry it didn’t matter, what he felt towards you wouldn’t change, and no one could push him to think otherwise. He loved you, and he always encouraged you to feel comfortable with being open with him, regardless of what those around you said was the ‘proper’ way to react. 

And sometimes that meant you speaking to him in a manner that would horrify a good chunk of your family and friends; but it never bothered him. Hell, often he even spurred it on. But there was something different this time. Sure, you two had quarreled before; but this? Deciding to leave on a trip so close to the wedding that he would almost certainly miss it? It completely stunned you. Clearly, he knew it was wrong, your fiancé not even trying to defend his decision.

You’d never been so forthright with him. It was out of character for him to be this thoughtless, and in that moment your instinct was to challenge him as much as you could. 

“And you’ve obviously agreed, why else would you look so guilty right now? You’ve looked like that since you came to the garden. Harry, how could you even consider this?” You shook your head, looking up to the burning sun, blinking back tears. “We’ve fought so hard to even get here. To finally get close to being together forever like we’d always hoped. I can’t believe you’d be so thoughtless.”

At this point, you practically refused to acknowledge him, arms crossed over your chest and frozen in place. Even though you were wearing a rather light dress that day, it suddenly felt like you’d had your winter layers on, your body burning with every second. 

“You know what, it’s fine. Just leave, I’ll be the proper woman everyone keeps telling me I should be and won’t put up a fight.” With that, you swiped up the book along with your shoes and started striding down the wooden walkway, ignoring him calling out your name. 

You cursed yourself for even coming down to the lake in the first place. You’d only made it halfway back to the shore when he finally caught up to you, his cold hand desperately reaching out for yours. 

“Y/N, please. Please, jus’ look at me.”

For some reason, you let him pull you back, slowly turning on your bare feet to face him; your hands hanging limply at your sides. 

“What is it Harry, is there something else?” Your voice was completely devoid of emotion, glancing down at his feet.

“Sweetheart...” His free hand drifted up, lightly tilting your chin, your red rimmed eyes meeting his. Your resolve faltered ever so slightly when you saw just how devastated he was about it.

“What is it then? What can you say to possibly reassure me that I’m not being mad about this?”

“They… they promised me that I wouldn’t be late, that I wouldn’t miss it. Even got assurance from the Captain that we’d be home early.” Shaking your head, you moved to take a step back. “Love believe me, I wouldn’t even be considering it if I didn’t think it a good option for us. If this goes through…we can just spend the rest of our lives here or travelling wherever you’d like.”

“The last thing I want to do is to leave you so close to the wedding, but I need to do this. This could change everything for us.” His hand slipped up to brush against your jaw, his fingers stroking over your cheekbone. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into his touch, watching his every move carefully. He was only clad in his trousers, his shirt still folded at the end of the dock, his skin glistening in the sun. “Y’know I love you more than anything, and I promise you I’ll be back  earlier if I can.”

“You’re certain you’ll make it back in time?”

“Absolutely, and not a minute late.” He murmured, his slender fingers sneaking up to snare in your hair, twirling them slightly. “So what d’you think? Will it be alright?”

Toying with your bottom lip, you shifted on your feet slightly, feeling your anger finally begin to subside while he kept fussing with your hair. You glanced down at the dock once again, sighing and studying the wood panels beneath you. 

“Darling? What are y’thinking?” 

“I’m thinking you ought to get back into the lake before the sun goes down.” His movements stilled, Harry taking a step back from you. 

“ ‘m sorry, what?”

“I said you should probably get one more swim in before you go. You know how much you’ll miss it.” You hummed with a gentle smile, your soft gaze meeting with his. He looked completely in shock, his brow furrowed ever so slightly while he tried to follow.

“So… everything is sorted then?”

“Of course, Harry. But I think we ought to spend the night in the cottage, don’t you? If I’m going to be without you for nearly a month, then it’s only right for me to give you a proper send off.”

“Bloody hell, I love you to bits darling.” He whispered, surging forward, pulling you in for a searing kiss, causing you to drop your shoes and book in surprise. You wrapped your arms around his bare waist, your hands finding their way up into his hair, tugging lightly on his damp locks. He kissed you over and over, the emotion of your disagreement dissipating with every one, while Harry was too busy getting lost in the taste of your lips. When you two finally parted to breathe, you gave him a cheeky grin, nuzzling your nose against his.

“You’ll be the end of me, I swear.” He teased, playfully nipping at your plush bottom lip. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You’d simply be lost without me.  Now get back in the water you, I’ve got some reading to do.” Chuckling softly, he pressed a kiss to your cheek before heading back down, stripping out of what he had on as he went; thoughtful enough this time to pile it together with his shirt before diving into the water once again. 

Seeing that the edge of the dock  was thoroughly soaked from Harry’s jump into the water, you scooped up your shoes and book, briefly heading back to the cottage for a few towels before quickly returning. 

Spreading out one of the towels over the wood, you carefully hiked up the skirt of your dress, bunching it up to your thighs, thankful you’d forgone a standard crinoline and bustle that was mandatory to wear at the main house. You stretched your legs over the grey fabric of the towel, humming when the sun warmed your skin, easily getting lost in the book once more with Harry swimming nearby. 

You stayed like that for a while, the only sounds disturbing the gentle silence was of the occasional nearby bird combined with Harry’s broad strokes in the water. You were halfway through the novel when the dock shifted slightly. Glancing up, you saw Harry drying himself off with one of the towels, a content smile creeping across his lips as he moved closer. 

“ ‘S rather a scandalous sight isn’t it darling,” reckless of anyone seeing, he pulled the cloth from his waist. Standing there, without a regard for decency, he towelled his hair off, while you set your book aside out of curiosity. “A future Lady, sprawled out on a dock, reading a book no less, while she’s got her legs almost completely exposed?”

“And with her fiancé, a future Prince who will one day be a Duke, completely naked and absolutely dripping in front of her?” You quipped back, quirking a brow at him. “We’d never live a scandal like this down would we love?”

“S’ppose it’s a good thing I don’t bloody care what anyone thinks then, isn’t it?” Stepping onto the towel, casting his own aside, Harry moved to sit on his knees between your calves, leaning in for a soft kiss. 

“Simply incorrigible.”You hummed when you parted, nuzzling your nose against his while his hands came to rest on either side of your hips, his damp body pressing against the silk bodice of your dress. “Unbelievably shameless.”

“That’s only the half of it.” He murmured, kissing down your neck, thankful the cut of the neckline left a majority of your décolletage exposed. His lips continued moving along uninterrupted until he reached your shoulder. “You haven’t caught too much sun today have you?”

Reaching up to curl your fingers in his hair, you gently untangled the knots before they could take hold while his soft locks dried. You eyed him curiously, slowly shaking your head.

“S’good then. Because honestly I don’t think I’m just ready to go back to the cottage just yet.” With that he carefully moved back from you, pressing one last chaste kiss to your cheek before sitting up, his hands sliding to grip your thighs through your skirt. You were about to protest, unsure of what he had up his sleeve, but he gently shushed you. “Don’t you fret darling, ‘s just us yeah?”

Nodding, you relaxed slightly, slouching your posture slightly as he sat back. Pausing for a moment, his smouldering gaze traveled over you. You gasped when he reached out, gently pushing the hem up even more, exposing your thighs inch by inch. 

“S’beautiful. Every single bit of you.” He murmured, ducking his head down to kiss the inside of your thighs. 

“If there’s one thing I can’t get enough of though, it’s how sweet y’taste. And just for me, just for your prince.” A wry smile bloomed on his face as you nodded meekly. Without a word he shoved your skirt the rest of the way up, humming in approval when he saw your satin lilac underwear. “Always have such pretty knickers don’t you. Just love how you look in these. Drives me absolutely mad.” 

You couldn’t hide the skittish smile that crept across your face, your hands nervously fisting in the towel beneath you. Something about it made you feel unbelievably anxious, constantly glancing over your shoulder making sure no one was nearby even though you both knew that you were completely alone. 

“Harry are you sure…. We can just go back to the cottage, honestly I‘m not sure if-”

“Enough of that pet, we’re fine. Jus’ watch me, yeah?” It's almost if he’d snapped your attention back down, a gentle gasp escaping your lips when he lightly presses his lips against the soft satin, playfully swiping his tongue against it when he pulls back.

“Can already taste you darling, you want me already don’t you?” Rolling your eyes at his words, you gently card your fingers through his hair, finally easing into the situation as he does it again. 

“Honestly the mouth on you sometimes Harry, makes me wish you hadn’t gone to sea as often as you have.”

“ ‘ve got a dirty mouth, what can I say.” He murmurs, nipping along the inside of your right thigh, stopping just before he reaches your core. “But we both know how much you like what it can do….” With that he continues over to your other thigh, repeating his motions while you hum softly. 

“Well I’m not going to complain about that.” You sigh, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him, biting on your lower lip while he gently slides the lavender fabric to the side. 

“Such a pretty cunt love, can’t get enough of it.” The sheer vulgarity of his words makes you tense up and he chuckles once more, lightly blowing over it. “ ‘S just you and me darling, just you and your prince….”

“Gonna make you feel so good. Make up for all the time I’ll be spent away from you, for all the lonely nights where I’ll just have to think of you. How you feel ‘round me, how you taste, how absolutely desperate you get for my cock.”

Your cheeks are positively burning at this point, a chill running down your spine at just how filthy he’s being today. You’re about to protest when he cuts you off, pressing a sloppy kiss to your clit, sticking his tongue out to tease it when he pulls away. 

“Were you going to say something? If you’d rather talk then we can do that instead.” He murmurs, turning his head to kiss along the inside of your thighs, carelessly leaving a few bruises in his wake. 

“N-No this is fine Harry, I don’t m-mind.” You stutter, combing your fingers through his hair, trying to push him back. 

“Already desperate for me. Love it when y’get like this.” He hums, one of his fingers drifting closer to your aching core, leisurely pressing and flicking against your clit. You can’t help yourself, your hips bucking up while your body jolts ever so slightly on the plush towel beneath you. You hear him hiss softly when your nails dig into his scalp, tugging on his soft tufts and writhing underneath him. 

“My favourite treat….” With that he leans back in, dragging his tongue over every inch of you, moaning while he savours your taste. Kissing back up, he slowly circles the tip of his tongue around your clit, pressing lightly, teasing you. You’re whimpering in pure agony when he finally pushes in, that familiar dull burn spreading throughout your body. His free hand comes to rest on your abdomen, ghosting over your clit occasionally while he licks into you. 

You can’t keep yourself propped up anymore, laying flat on the towel as he curls his tongue, flicking and pushing deeper in a way that drives you mad. 

“Harry I-.” You couldn’t help yourself, your hands sliding to grip the towel underneath you, balling the soft fabric up. You tugged on it relentlessly, your eyes falling shut at the overwhelming feeling of it all. You were trying desperately to stay still, feeling his heavy gaze glued to your every reaction.

Reluctantly he pulled back for a breath, panting hard, licking his wet lips. The look on his face is downright animalistic, watching you hungrily before he starts pressing fluttering kisses against your soaked core. 

“S’perfect my love. So perfect.” Letting the hand that was pressed against your abdomen slide down, he leisurely pushes a single finger in, starting a languid rhythm. He smirks at your reactions, hearing you let out a soft hiss before throwing your head back against the plush towel.

“You’re still so tight aren’t you m’princess?” He purred, his words buzzing against your heated skin while you whined in response, your feet kneading into the towel, slipping along the soft fabric. 

“G’nna have to get you nice and warmed up for me if you want to give me a proper send off tonight pet, reckon we won’t sleep a wink.”  With that he withdrew his hand, a startled gasp escaping from your lips before his touch returned, pushing two fingers in this time. 

“H-Harry please.” 

“Don’t fret, we’ve got all the time we need.” He murmured, ducking his head back between your thighs. You could feel his soft breaths against your skin, his fingers working a steady rhythm, gently scissoring them enough to relax you, curling them against your inner walls while pushing them deeper and deeper.  You try to articulate your feelings but it just comes out as an endless stream of his name, every utterance more wanton than the last.

“Sssh, I know love. Feels so good doesn’t it?” You’re almost certain he’s got a grin plastered across his face, watching the way you writhe in front of him, completely uninhibited for just him to see.

“Wish I could just take you right now.” Sucking on his plush lip, he rises up from between your legs, locked in rapture at the sight of you. Your hips move of their own accord, falling into rhythm with his motions. “Wouldn’t care who sees, wouldn’t matter cause they’d know you’re mine.”

As he speaks, he slides his fingers out, the shock of the sudden loss of contact causing you to force your eyes open to see what he’s doing. The gasp that begins in your throat dies off into a whine when he leans in. Spitting on your clit, he gives the bundle of nerves a quick rub while staying close enough that you can feel his breath against your cunt.

“I’ll give you the option darling, but you need to be quick. My mouth or m’fingers?” 

It takes you a moment, even in your rather spaced out state, to realize what he’s asking, but once you do, you decide to let your actions speak for yourself. With almost trembling hands you curl your fingers into his locks, putting the tiniest bit of pressure on his head in a feeble attempt to guide him back where you need him most. It makes him laugh and he turns his head to nip at your inner thigh. 

“That’s m’girl. Love this cunt” He purrs. Not wasting a second, he eagerly dives back in and drags his tongue over your core. It’s almost agonizing how slowly he moves, almost like he’s mapping every single inch of you to memory. “Wanna taste ya, make a right mess f’me…”

He focuses on your clit, lapping at it so intensely that it doesn’t take long for you to feel a warmth begin to spread through your lower body, that familiar sense of pleasure coiling in your abdomen. 

Your legs begin to tense around him, bracketing him in place when he sucks eagerly, his hands coming to hold your hips to keep you anchored in place while he works you over. You’re thankful the sound of your moans don’t carry very far, his name tumbling endlessly from your lips at this point. The words sound like you’re chanting a prayer while he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

“Harry, it’s so… please don’t stop.” You’re nearly gasping for air now, your head spinning, and all you can think of is him. Of how expertly his tongue teases and toys with you, the hungry noises that escape his lips muffled by your cunt. “‘S not much more, I can’t-”

It’s almost frustrating to you, you can feel every nerve in your body is aflame, but somehow it’s not just enough. You just need a little bit more but in your state you can’t figure out what it is you need. 

But Harry’s one step ahead of you, his hands sliding down to cup your ass, lifting your hips closer to him, angling you up enough that he can apply the perfect amount of pressure with his tongue, suctioning his lips around your clit.

Curling his tongue he practically feasts upon you, his hooded gaze fixed onto your face, watching you pant his name, your thighs quivering around him. If you could focus, you know you’d see him smirking around your clit, him gently nudging you along as he slips a finger in you, syncing up with his mouth.

“Harry, please-” You can’t even bring yourself to finish your sentence before you let out a guttural moan, Harry curling his fingers in you just right, finally sending you spiraling out. You’re vaguely aware of him gasping your name against you, never easing up on your clit, coaxing every last wave of pleasure out of you. 

Your vision clouds so much that all you can think about is Harry, his lips, his hands, the way he knows every single inch of you. In your daze, your hips keep snapping against his face, Harry bracing you to him with his forearm as your feet push against the towel underneath you. Slowly you begin to relax against him, and Harry eases up on you. Reluctantly pulling away from your soaked cunt, you realize he’s breathing just as heavily as you are while he presses featherlight kisses along the inside of your thighs. 

When you finally come back down, Harry’s still sat between your thighs, lightly swirling his fingers along the inside of your thigh. He watches you fondly, a cheeky grin prominent on his face. 

“Y’back with me now love? Thought I’d lost you for a minute.” He winks, making you feel flushed under the heat of his attention. Slowly you push yourself up from the towel, sitting up so you’re closer to him, you reach your hand out, gently cupping his chin. 

You’re almost in disbelief as you brush your thumb over his soaked, plump bottom lip, eyeing him dreamily. “Is it strange that I’m really fond of your mouth?”

At that, Harry laughs, turning his face to press a kiss to the palm of your hand. 

“I’d be worried if you weren’t...” Pulling back from you, he reaches out, gently pressing his hand to your forehead and tuts softly. “You’re awfully warm. Think it’s time we get you inside.”

“Besides, I’m not finished with you yet.”

~*~

It’s just after dinner, and as per usual, because you cooked in the kitchen in the cottage, Harry did the tidying up. It’s not necessarily routine, but something the pair of you like to do when your presence isn’t requested at manor, favouring to do the work yourselves, away from everyone on the main grounds.

Harry’s stolen away to the living room, taking up residence in one of the oversized wingback chairs close to the shelves to do a bit of light reading. With a quick kiss and the promise that you’d join him, you shuffle off to the bedroom, wanting to change into something more suited for just his audience. 

Shrugging out of your dress, you carefully slip out of your undergarments, pulling on a simple empire dress with capped sleeves, throwing a loose shawl over your shoulders to prevent a chill. Padding barefoot back down the hallway, you stop in the doorway, beaming at the sight of your fiancé, engrossed in the book in his hands. 

Always a curious man, you’ve found there’s nothing he loves more than getting engrossed in a well crafted story. There’s a certain twinkle that lights his eyes whenever he recounts a book he’s just finished that you swear is brighter than the sun. 

“You sure you have to leave tomorrow?” Harry glances up from his book as you come to stand in front of him. Instinctively he sets it to the side so you can move closer, hitching up the hem of your dress before bracketing your thighs on either side of his to straddle his lap. 

“If there were some other way, I wouldn’t. You’re the last person I want to leave behind.” He hums, his hand coming up to gently cup your chin. “I’ll be back before you know it though, always am.”

“Still doesn’t make it any easier, I hate being anywhere on the grounds without you. Never feels right.” His thumb brushes over your bottom lip, lightly plucking at it when you shuffle closer, your nose almost bumping against his. 

“I’d say I’d send letters, or telegrams; but I reckon I’d get back here to you before they did…”

“The sentiment is sweet, don’t you think?” You playfully nip at his mouth, his laughter making you shake slightly on top of him. 

“Would you like me to do that then?”

“I’ll always take an opportunity for you to tell me how much you love me.” His hands slide down to rest on your hips, anchoring you to him while he teasingly shakes his head. “But perhaps keep them proper this time? Wouldn’t want any prying eyes to see…”

“See what? That I intend to ravish my soon-to-be wife the moment I step foot back in England?” He scoffs, ducking down to press a kiss to your neck. “It’s only the truth my love.”

You shake your head, shivering when he gently teases your skin with his teeth. “Do you think I could get away with hiding out here until you come back to me? I could have the pantry filled and just wait here…”

“But why would you want to do that? It’s not like you couldn’t stay in the manor.” He looks at you quizzically, brushing your hair back from your face, admiring the way the candlelight casts a warm glow over your face.

“Don’t really want to be around so many people.” Your voice is flat as you speak, and Harry can’t quite figure out what’s got your emotions turning so quickly. “The wedding plans are done. My dress has been fitted. I just want to stay here until you come back to me, I don’t really want the company of anyone else.”

Deciding it’s best not to push you, not wanting your last night together for a month to be spent arguing, he nods, his hand sliding down to rest between your shoulder blades, the heat from his palm radiating through your dress. 

“Could see if it can be arranged darling, if that’s what’ll make you happy.”

“Can’t have what I really want,” your voice is timid as you suddenly become focused on the stitching along the front of his shirt. “So it’ll have to do…” 

Tutting softly, Harry shifts in the seat underneath you, helping settle you to properly straddle him, feeling the weight of your body press him into the cushion as he leans forward and nips your nose. “What can I do to cheer you up?”

“I just want to feel you.” Your gaze flickers up to his, hoping that he knows what you mean. You’re usually unafraid to voice what you want, but in moments like this, being so brash still feels foreign no matter how open you and Harry are. 

And when that knowing smirk blossoms across his features, well, it’s clear that he understands your intention.

“But can’t you feel me now darling?” He drawls, his hands sliding up over your hips. “Or is it something else that you’re craving?”

Huffing in frustration, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth. Sucking it softly, you weigh your options, knowing you could play along with him.

Or, you could have the upper hand. 

Your hands find their way to rest on his shoulders, giving you the leverage to gently roll your hips against his. “You know what I want H.”

His lips part, panting quietly at the sight, eyes wide as you move above him. Wanting to spur him on, you loosen your grip on him, nearly whining when his hands slide up your back, pushing your shawl off, his fingers pressing against you through the thin fabric of your dress. But it’s not enough, you crave the burn of his touch, wanting to have reminders of him lingering on your skin for days after. 

Harry knows he’s got you right where he wants you. Humming, his hands guide you closer, your lips inches apart while you hover over him. 

“I’d hate to make you beg tonight…” There’s an unspoken agreement between the two of you when his gaze flickers to your lips once more. And as you arch towards him, sealing it with a kiss, you start the gentle rock of your hips once more, craving the friction you feel against him while you move. 

Balling your fists up in his shirt, you’re easily lost in the wine that stains his lips, gasping against him. You feel his hands slide to your waist, easily gathering the gossamer skirt you have on up to your thighs while you wait for the realization to set in. It’s the surprised moan against your mouth that tips you off, pausing to rest your forehead against his as his touch slides, completely unobstructed,  from the curve of your ass down to the backs of your thighs.

“Though it seems like you wanted me to do the begging instead.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” Laughing softly, you playfully nip at his nose before pushing yourself up from him. Eyes locked with his, you keep rolling your hips, wetting your lip when he starts to buck up into you. You’re so focused, and yet he doesn’t catch you off guard like he expected, his grip tightening on you as he slows you down, drawing each grind out. 

“Gonna make me miss you too much if you keep this up,” he groans leaning back in the seat to watch you move. It’s like he’s completely mesmerized by the sight of you,  panting hard while he watches. “Never gonna want to leave.” At that he kneads your ass, feeling the weight in his hand before giving your right cheek a playful spank. 

“That’s all it takes for you? That’s all I needed to do?” You tease, gasping when he spanks you again. 

“It’s definitely a start…” His hands continue to push the skirt of your dress up, tucking it up into the waist as his hands slide up over to the front of your nightdress. With a simple tug, he pulls the fabric down, smiling up at you when your chest is exposed to him. He cups your right breast, palming at it, teasing your nipple with his thumb as he cheekily wets his lip. “Although I much prefer you like this.”

It sends a shiver down your spine as his hand drifts over to your left breast, his fingers toying with your nipple much like before; leaving your body feeling as if it’s aflame on top of him. 

You can’t stand it, wanting him closer, feeling like you’re in a frenzy as your hands migrate to the buttons in the middle of his shirt.  His lips part when he realizes what you’re about to do, not even flinching when you give a rough tug at the material, humming in triumph when it gives, finally exposing his bare chest to your touch. You duck your head down, smattering his neck in kisses as you graze your nails over every inch of him, knowing you’re likely to leave a few marks that he’ll find in the morning.

“Think we’re on equal footing now,” you murmur, nipping at the edge of his jawline. Clearly he agrees, as you feel him urgently press against you, arching up to rub himself against you. The hiss he releases as he alleviates the pressure makes you grin, trying to stay focused while he continues to toy with your pert nipples. 

“Usually like taking my time with you, Y/N.” He rasps, giving your breast a gentle squeeze, drawing your focus back to his face. You nod curiously, watching him intently as your hands trail down his chest, resting above the waistband of his trousers. “But I just want you. Now.”

Your eyes are fixated on his as you feel for the button, easily popping it, never breaking your stare with him as you pull the fabric down. Chest heaving, you can’t muffle the laugh that escapes you as you reach inside his trousers, realizing he’s opted to forego anything underneath too, your hand easily wrapping around his cock. 

“Always ready for me aren’t you?” You can tell Harry wants to laugh as well, but his voice dies off into a moan when you grip him, beginning to lightly stroke him. 

“Can you really blame me? Just as eager as you are m’love.” He counters, reaching up to pluck at your lower lip, dragging his thumb down to rest on your chin. “Meant what I said when I told you I wanted to love on you as much as I could tonight. I intend to keep that promise.”

“Better not keep each other waiting then.” You raise up from him, his brow furrowing as you straddle his thighs, yanking down his trousers to where you sit. It’s a sight you’ll never get tired of, seeing him completely exposed, practically aching for you as his cock smacks against his stomach. He’s hard, clearly almost painfully so, precum beading at the tip, though it doesn’t last long as he wraps his ring clad hand around himself, smearing it down and along his shaft, giving himself a few leisurely pumps as he awaits your next move. 

“You know, I was thinking about tonight, about what we’d do, when we were on the dock earlier.” Giving himself a gentle squeeze, he hums softly,  dipping his head back as he slouches in the chair underneath you. “About how you’d feel, clenching around my cock like you were my fingers.”

“Been in absolute agony since dinner.” 

“Imagine how you’ll feel after a month away from me..” You can’t stop yourself from saying it, meaning to tease more than anything else. But there’s a subtle bite to your words, a sting that makes him wince momentarily, and you instantly regret it, trying to soften the blow. “But it’ll make your first night back even sweeter.”

“Drive me absolutely mad you know.” He murmurs, leaning forward, stealing a chaste kiss as he groans against you, his free hand coming to rest on your hip. “Never gonna love anyone else like I love you.”

“I should hope not.” You raise up once more, finally straddling his abdomen again, enough so that he can’t stroke himself anymore. Especially when you start grinding back against him, humming when you manage to sneak his cock underneath you, rubbing your cunt along his shaft, feeling the tip bump against your clit. “But maybe you should show me just how much you do…”

“Give me another kiss?” The softness of his voice catches you off guard, and somehow in the split second since you looked at him last he’s managed to look angelic in the low light of the room. With his tousled hair framing his face, and his bottom lip snagged nervously between his teeth, it reminds you of the first time you met. The anxious anticipation, the magnetic energy that ultimately brought you two together. 

You oblige, sighing when his mouth meets yours, your nails scratching over the butterfly tattoo centred on the middle of his chest as he deepens the kiss. The taste of his tea swirls on the tip of your tongue as his hand snakes up to cradle the back of your head. Holding you as close as he possibly can, he kisses you hard as he thrusts in, lips chasing after yours when you gasp. 

He’s watching you carefully, wanting to make sure he’s not overwhelming you as your hips arch backwards on instinct, his cock slipping in farther. It feels almost as if he wants to wrap himself up in you, groaning when you bottom out on him, his hand still keeping you bent over his chest as he dots kisses along your face. 

“Tell me when, love.” For what you’re doing, his voice is remarkably tender, his free hand rubbing up and down your back to comfort you as you adjust to him. But soon the dull stretch of his cock fizzles out into a sensation that nothing ever compares to. 

The pleasure is nearly overwhelming as your hips roll in small movements, your eyes almost rolling back as he eases his grip on you. You prop yourself up once more, hands planted on his stomach as you give him a subtle nod. 

“Fuck me Harry, please.”

Your words are all the encouragement he needs while his hands come to rest on your hips, gripping you tightly. He starts to thrust up into you, groaning when you start moving in rhythm with him. You always feel him so deeply when you rock your hips back and forth, his cock stretching you out so perfectly it’s almost infuriating. 

“That’s it darling, Just like that…” He throws his head back, knocking it against the plush cushioning of the chair as you reach down, pushing the skirt of your dress back hastily, gasping at the sight of him fucking you so deeply. You can see the slight bulge from his cock along your abdomen as he starts to pick up the pace. 

Your fingers find their way down to your clit, your thighs clenching around him as you start to tease the bundle of nerves. You can’t help the way you twitch slightly, gasping his name as your eyes fall shut. 

“C’mon Y/N, stay with me. Want to see you,” he’s clearly clenching his teeth as he speaks, trying to stay composed at the sight of you. You’ve always been such a temptress to him, teasing him with such ease, and often without any intention, that it’s almost maddening. And right now is no exception. 

You force your eyes back open, moaning when his hand bats yours away, his fingers teasing you at a much faster rate. 

“Let me take care of you,” he whispers as he applies the perfect amount of pressure, rubbing your clit when he rears his hips backwards. The build up of everything, from what happened on the dock, to the subtle teasing you both were guilty of while making dinner, is pushing you farther along than you would be normally. 

Harry’s managed to be composed underneath you, focused on giving you everything you need without you having to articulate it. But you’re almost in a frenzy, dragging your nails down his chest again, gripping his waist as you try to grind against him.

“Want it H, please. Wanna come.” The words come tumbling out as you throw your head back, already starting to tremble just a bit. 

He has the audacity to chuckle, seeing just how desperate you are for him already as he picks up the pace again. “Close already darling? Gonna come on my cock? Can feel you squeezin’ me already.” 

Normally you’d have something clever to reply with, but you’re so far gone, so lost in him that you just nod. This isn’t the first time you two have been so desperate for each other, and it certainly won’t be the last, but something about this feels entirely different. 

“Just let go for me Y/N, know you’re almost there.” His voice is much closer than before and it’s then that you realize he’s pushed up from the chair cushion, slowly pressing open mouthed kisses along your chest, nuzzling up into the crook of your neck. “Come on love, come for me.” 

His left arm wraps tightly around your waist as he holds you down on his cock, thrusting deeper than you’ve ever felt him before. With one last gasp of his name, you finally come, spiraling out as you let him take control completely. Going completely still on top of him, your head falls back as you moan, hips grinding against his fingers that never ease up on your clit. Wave after wave of pleasure hits you hard, rendering you reactionless as he keeps driving his cock deeper. 

It feels like hours tick by, clutching his wrinkled shirt in your hands in a feeble attempt to keep yourself grounded. But that euphoric feeling that spreads out from your abdomen doesn’t show signs of stopping any time soon. From how tight you’re squeezing him, keeping him snug as you pulse around him, Harry knows he isn’t going to last much longer either.

The sight of you is overwhelming to him, and with one last thrust he tumbles along with you, burying his cock balls deep in you as his hips fall out of rhythm. Seeing you come undone like that, completely lost in him, always does something to Harry. While he bucks hard into you clutching you like his life depends on it; he knows for certain that nothing will ever come close to this moment with you. 

Feeling his cock twitch in your cunt, your breathing slowly starts to deepen as you force your eyes open, seeing his head nestled against your chest as he gasps your name one last time. You know you should give him a bit of time to recover, but there's a selfish part of you that wants him back with you now. Relaxing your thighs so you can shift in his lap, you lean down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, softly murmuring his name. 

It takes him a minute, but you feel his body straighten underneath you, as if he’s perked up from just the sound of your voice. His chest heaves as he looks up at you, shakily reaching out to brush your hair back from your face.  Your grip finally begins to ease up on his shirt while he coos to you, tugging your left hand up to his lips, littering kisses along your knuckles. 

“Back with me Harry?” Even in your tired state, you manage to muster up a cheeky grin, smiling when he laughs and nods. Neither of you move, too content with feeling each other so intimately. But the moment passes, and you reluctantly rise up from him when your legs begin to ache, Harry groaning in protest as his cock slips from you. He holds you close, your hands draped over the back of the chair as he rests his head against your chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of your chest underneath him before he breaks the silence. 

“Reckon we’ll have a bit of a rest now love? Maybe make another go of it in a bit?” Were it any other man you’d be irritated by how insatiable he is. But with Harry, it’s a hunger that you share mutually. Enough so that you ignore the subtle twinge in your thighs and nod, shaking your head when he gives your bum a cheeky pinch and sits up in the chair.

Kicking his trousers off the rest of the way, he’s completely bare save for the dress shirt that you tore open as he scoops you up into his arms, dress and all. Your laughter echoes around the small cottage, Harry smattering kisses all over your face as he carries you down the hall and into the bedroom.

~*~

It’s late in the evening when Harry rouses, though he’s not exactly sure what time it is. Taking in the room around him, the fading embers from the fireplace illuminating the space in a soft glow, his gaze drifts over to you. Curled up on your side, you’re almost hidden by the mess of sheets wrapped around you. 

It takes everything in him not to brush them aside, wanting to feel the warmth of your skin against his once more.  But you’re sleeping so peacefully, he can’t find it in himself to wake you. Settling back down on the bed, he drapes his arm over your waist once more, burying his face into the nape of your neck. 

It’s the feeling of his stubble against your skin that pulls you out of your dream, sighing softly from being so completely wrapped up in him. You can’t say for sure, but you know moments like this are exactly what love feels like. As you awaken, you gently run the tips of your fingers over his forearm, smiling at the goosebumps that raise along his tanned skin. 

“Did I wake you?” His voice is thick, the gravely tone a tell tale sign that he’s still half asleep.  Shifting in his arms, you turn to lay on your back, the sheets sliding down your body while you settle into the pillow. 

“I wouldn’t complain if you did.” Reaching out you gently brush his tousled locks away from his face, the tip of your thumb brushing along his cheek. “It’s not morning yet, is it?”

His heart plummets at your question, the insinuation in your words clear as he shakes his head. “Still got a ways to go my love.”

You feel his hand trail along your thigh, seeing it move under the cotton sheets as he rests his head on your shoulder. The soft puffs of his breath against your skin fall into rhythm with the steady rise and fall of your chest; and you’re just about to fall asleep again when his hand slips to grip on the inside of your thigh.

“Think you’re up for a little more?” He murmurs, looking through his lashes up at you. “Stay awake for me a little longer?” It’s almost mystical what he does to you, able to set your body ablaze from the simplest things. You can feel your arousal building, your want for him growing even though you’d had him mere hours ago.  His fingers keep trailing upwards, temptingly hovering closer and closer to where you need him most, your legs parting on instinct.

You know what he’s hinting at, and you have to admit you’re surprised. Pushing the sheet down, you reach for his hand, holding it in place, catching him completely off guard. 

 “But you’re the one leaving…” Your voice is soft, gently brushing your thumb over the back of his hand as you speak. “Isn’t there something I can do for you?”

Laughing, he leans in, pressing a chaste kiss against your collarbone, tutting softly. “And what if I want to spoil you instead hmm? Make sure you don’t run away with a handsome Lord while I’m gone?”

“What if I want something to remember for those cold nights alone in my bed without you there?” His voice sounds so desperate, but you’re both aware that he’s really laying it on thick now. But really, were you ever one to turn him down?

Your grip on his hand goes slack, falling to rest on the mattress between you, “I’d never say no to that.”

“Just want to love on my fiancée a little.” His words make you feel bashful as he lightly drags his fingertips over your body,  along your outer thigh, up to your hip and over your abdomen, keeping his touch infuriatingly close but never quite where you want him.

“Hardly seems as if you’re playing fair.” You know he can see the pout on your lips as you shift underneath him, trying to wriggle your hips up. “Making me work for it like this, rather unbecoming of you…”

“Well when you put it like that,”  he’s cut off by the hiss that escapes you when he finally slides his fingers down your cunt, his touch ghosting over your clit. Your hips snap up into his hand, groaning when he presses his thumb against you in a feeble attempt to hold you in place as his middle finger presses more firmly over the sensitive bundle of nerves. 

You’re awestruck for the third time that day, sighing his name as he increases the friction against your clit. But it’s not enough, as your feet slide along the sheets, your knees bend in an attempt to help you rock into his hand, you realize you need something more. 

Soaked just from a bit of teasing, Harry realizes that even after all you’d done together earlier that day, it’s not quite enough to sate your appetite for him. It isn’t until he shifts his hand, his thumb rolling over your clit and his middle finger swirling around your slit before slowly pushing in that you begin to feel relief. 

When he curls his finger, you can’t hold back anymore, head knocking back against the pillows as he smatters your chest in kisses. “ ‘S my favourite sight, seeing you like this. Going to miss it when I’m gone.”

“I just…” Your voice fades as you ball the sheets up in your hands, pulling them as you writhe with every flick of his fingers, squeezing your eyes shut as you try not to whine. “Harry I need more please.” 

He’s found his way down to your breasts as you beg for more, smirking against your skin as he lathes his tongue around your nipple before giving a gentle suck. His breath is warm and wet against your skin, and if you weren’t sweating before, you know you are now. You don’t have to look at him to know he’s watching you intently, feeling the burn of his gaze on your features as he effortlessly sneaks a second finger in, pumping them faster. 

“C’mon love, want you to see what I’m doing to you. Want you to remember just how you like it.” He rasps, giving your breast a teasing bite to pull your focus to him. Reluctantly you force your eyes open, unable to keep still as you watch his hand move, the sight so obscene, yet you can’t look away.  

It feels so instinctual, as if he’s always known what you needed. As if he’s the only one to ever satisfy that burning lust that you’ve never quite been able to quell. You’d never fully admit it to him, knowing all too well that he’d never let you live it down, but secretly you have a feeling he can tell from your reactions, your desperate calls of his name more than enough proof for him.

“That’s it darling. Just like that yeah?” He’s watching what he does with lust blown eyes, smiling at the sight of your hips rising to meet every quirk of his fingers. “Just a little bit more. Can feel you squeezing around me.”

He pushes deeper into you, humming when he finds the spot that never fails to make your thighs quake, your legs clenching against him. Withdrawing for only a moment, he offers his hand out to you as you practically shake with want, eagerly sucking his fingers. Tasting yourself like this always feels so indecent, but the look on Harry’s face as he gently eases them in and out squashes your doubts. 

“Such a good girl f’me, aren’t you?” Deciding he’s made you wait enough, dragging his hand back down, he slides in effortlessly once more. His pace is just as before, unrelenting and unyielding as he works each ounce of pleasure from you, the sounds of your relieved moans cascading from your lips as a result. 

“Harry, please. Just let me-” your voice fades into a cry when he slips a third finger in, his thumb falling in rhythm. His lips find purchase in the crook of your neck once more, the heat of his breaths and kisses warming you as he teases your nerves with gentle bites. 

“Don’t need to ask. Always so polite, even when i’m knuckle deep,” he rasps, feeling you tremble in anticipation. “Just come darling, nice and hard for me.”

You’re not sure what else he can do at this point, feeling the pressure building up, your back is arched off the mattress shoulders grounded only by Harry’s hovering over you.

“Know you’re close Y/N, just go for me. Make a bloody mess.” His motions are sloppy as he focuses on speed, moving his fingers as if he was properly fucking you. 

And that proves to be just what you need. 

Your hand flies up to grasp at his head, holding him close as your fingers curl into his hair, pulling relentlessly as you feel your body almost pulsing in the build up. Your hips are moving completely on their own accord, your eyes squeezed shut as his thumb rubbing over your clit finally pushes you over the edge. The sensation is splintering as you cry out his name, unable to hear anything above the roar in your ears, almost suffocated from the heat of the moment. 

Harry keeps working you, coaxing every wave of your climax out, watching you with wide eyes, committing every single motion to memory. He’s almost in awe at how much you’ve taken, gaze sweeping over your flushed chest, down to the bruises dotting along your neck. When your body finally starts to relax, your back falling onto the mattress once more, he slows his motions until he’s lazily swiping at your clit, knowing from the quiet pants that escape your parted lips that you need a moment to come back to him. 

He knows better than to push you, simply pressing one last kiss to your breast bone before withdrawing from you. The cool air from the lack of his presence beside you is what shocks you back to consciousness, pouting as you realize he’s nowhere in sight. 

“Miss me?” He catches you off guard as he comes over from the basin by the window, holding a few damp cloths in his hands, striding back to you completely naked. 

You try to speak, but your voice fails you, shaking your head  as he laughs, crawling onto the bed beside you. 

“Know you hate being a mess,” he makes quick work of you, finishing up with gently pressing the last clean cloth to your forehead, cooling you down significantly as he presses kisses to the apples of your cheeks. It always amazes you how caring he is, seamlessly seeing to your every need without you needing to ask. 

Harry’s wise enough to grasp one of the thinner sheets, draping the pair of you in it as he brushes your hair back from your face and falls down to lay beside you. It’s quiet for a moment between the two of you, and you’re content in the silence, content to savour every second you have with him. He reaches over, grasping your left hand, grinning at the way your fingers interlock as his gaze drifts to the pearl nestled on the gold band snug on your ring finger.

You wish every night could be like this, hell every second if you’re being honest with yourself. Since you’ve found each other, all you’ve ever needed, all you’ve ever wanted was to be completely wrapped up, lost in the depths of each other as much as possible. With the looming threat of him leaving you in the morning, it almost aches to know it won’t be the case for the next few weeks. 

But then again, what’s a few weeks when you’ll have forever to spend with the man beside you? 

“Know it’s not time for breakfast. But how about a cup of tea?” Your breathing finally evens out when you look at him, snuggling close against him. He’s clearly been thinking the same thing that you have, and it’s the gentle squeeze to your hand that he gives to let you know it’s going to be alright. You quirk your head, pretending to think about his suggestion before speaking.  

“Maybe with a biscuit?”

“Could probably use the sugar after the evening we’ve had.” He teases, taking in your dewy glow as he holds your hand loosely against his chest. “Looking awfully flush, might give you a bit more energy too.”

“What are you getting at Harry?” The furrow in your brow makes him nervous, until he sees the way your lips are twitching, barely biting back a smile.

“Nothing nothing, just want to make sure you’re taken care of that’s all.”  He looks conflicted, feeling the warmth of your body pressed so closely against his. “But maybe it can wait? Don’t really feel like leaving this bed, or you right now.”

Your expression softens as he turns to press a kiss to your palm, before dropping your hand to rest over his chest. Feeling the gentle thump of his heart, you sigh in relief as his arm wraps loosely over your waist. 

“Good, don’t want to say goodbye to you just yet.” Your voice sounds more vulnerable than you intended, making Harry’s heart ache as he pulls you in close.

“You know I’ll be coming back soon enough love.” He hums, resting his head on your shoulder, angling up momentarily to steal a tender kiss before settling back into the mattress.

“I’ll always come back to you.”

[floralguccistyles]

prologue: very superstitious (writing’s on the wall)

story page // sign up for the taglist // thoughts?

taglist: @burberryharold @niallsguitarsthings @kare36 @niallhoranistodiefor 

I didn’t mean to make my entire life a cliche. 

It wasn’t my fault that the entirety of my life was like the first ten minutes of an annoyed I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-twenty-something romantic comedy montage. Things just worked out that way sometimes. 

While no character in those romantic comedies had ever planned for things like this to happen, I really hadn’t planned it. All this taught me was that romantic comedies (at least the beginning of romantic comedies) were absolutely, one hundred percent capable of happening.

Right down to wanting to slam my head against my boss’s desk but keeping my composure because it would be horrifically unprofessional.

“I’m in a really bad position, Eva,” Brooke stated, flipping through the last issue of our ratings. She was the kind of boss to have her notes color-coded and all our ratings printed with hard copies and put into a binder. I respected that about her. It was one of the things that made me want to work underneath her. “And you’re one of my best writers. I know you did it last month—” and the month before that, and the month before that—”but I promise this is a compliment to your work.”

My work in question was my writing ability. I had only been working with Brooke for two years, but I had built up Current Noose from the ground. I was the one who had presented my idea to Brooke and had gotten it approved, and now I was one of the highest watched segments in the company. 

Once upon a time, fresh-faced and out of college with a political science degree, I believed that I would be thrust upon the world of politics with a warm welcome. Instead, doors closed in my face and superiors looked down on me because even though I had worked my ass off for my degree, the only experience I had was writing a segment in my college’s paper. I met Brooke through one of my bosses, who was a gremlin on a good day. Brooke was higher on the food chain than I was, but she was sick of being treated like shit. Within five months, she had created Sac-rosanct Francisco, her company that excelled in publishing and online content. What started as her little dream to get out of the horrible work environment had blown up into something. It was no debate when she asked me if I would come work for her and the company she had created.

I had started as her general political science advisor, writing about any current events in the political sphere. But that’s when I got the idea for Current Noose, a little segment on our Youtube channel talking about what a shitshow politics actually were. Since it was accessible to the demographic I was trying to reach (which was people who elected out of voting even though every billboard was begging them to), I had single handedly raised our viewings up by six percent, which while not seeming like a lot, was actually a huge difference.

In terms of writing for the scripts we did on our show, I only wrote political science pieces. But about a month ago, Jaya had given birth to a beautiful baby girl and was on maternity leave until January. 

Which meant that Jaya’s romance show had no script writers. 

And who had been forced to pick up the work, even though she knew nothing about romance? Me. 

The first script had been a disaster. I had the brilliant idea to try and get exes in a room together and discuss why things didn’t work out, maybe give advice on things to work on with any relationships they had in the future. It had ended with a very upset Roy Greenbriar shouting that his ex-girlfriend Hannah Baylor was a cunt on our Youtube channel. Which, while incredibly hilarious in the moment because she’d cheated on him, was not what Brooke was looking for. Jaya still wasn’t speaking to me for that little mishap. 

The second segment had gone better. It had put people together with blindfolds and included a scientist to pass around fragrances underneath their noses. Couples tended to gravitate towards the fragrances that had scents their significant others wore. Jaya still wasn’t speaking to me, but she had sent a thumbs up emoji and a cute picture of her baby that made me hope I was somewhat forgiven.

“Why don’t you have Wyatt do it? He loves this stuff.” He was our producer’s assistant. He was gunning for his boss’s job and loved shit like romance columns and segments. He basically worshipped the ground Jaya walked on. 

“Wyatt’s not as witty as you. Our viewers love that.”

Curse my razor-sharp wit. “I am begging you, Brooke. I can’t do a romance segment for the third week in a row. I’m going crazy. I can’t focus on Current Noose and Jaya’s segment at the same time.” Not to mention having to deal with comments talking about what a shitty job I was doing (I didn’t blame them for said comments, but Brooke didn’t need to know that). “They hate me, Brooke.”

“They don’t hate you. They love to give you shit,” Brooke corrected, closing her ratings binder. “Look, Eva, I know you hate doing shit that isn’t politics. I understand that. But I’m strapped here and the viewers are familiar with you. Current Noose is the most popular segment on our channel. Even more than Watts of Love.” I really, really hated Jaya’s segment name. Which was why I mostly referred to it as Jaya’s segment. It was witty, with her last name being Watts and all, but I wanted to plug my ears every time I heard it. “I need you to do this for me. Please.”

The problem with working under Brooke since the beginning is that I actually liked her and wanted to please her. It’s why I was so happy that Current Noose was doing so well. It reflected well on me and it reflected that Brooke had made the right choice in choosing me to move over to her company.

I was between a rock and a hard place.

“I’ll try my best. But if Wyatt even sniffs around with a good segment idea, I’m letting him do it. He’s ready.”

He wasn’t ready at all, but I would do anything to avoid doing another one of Jaya’s segments.

“Fine,” Brooke said, in a tone that suggested it would happen when hell froze over. “We’ll discuss that if it happens. For now...thank you.”

And that was what made doing another one of Jaya’s segments worth it. If I took some of the pressure off Brooke’s shoulders and got her genuine thanks, I would do whatever it took. She had taken a chance on me and I planned on repaying her for the rest of my life. 

“You’re welcome.” I was going to need about a gallon’s worth of coffee to try and figure out a segment that would work, but I would do it for Brooke. I stood, smoothing down my pencil skirt and heading out of her office, mind already whirling with all the things I needed to do. 

“Oh,” Brooke called, forcing me to turn just before I stepped out of her office, “and don’t forget our staff Halloween party at the end of the month.”

Shit. It must have been October first then. Usually Brooke started talking about Halloween around then. “Sounds good.”

Halloween was sacred at Sac-rosanct Francisco. Most of my coworkers went ape shit over it, revolving all their segments in the month of October around it. I mentioned a couple of jokes on Current Noose, like last year when the presidential debates were happening and it was “spooky to see what the fuck was happening in politics,” but I didn’t celebrate it hardcore like people here seemed to.

My phone buzzed as I got back to my office. I pulled it out absentmindedly sliding my finger across the green answer button. “Evangelina Valencia speaking.”

“Why are you answering my phone call so formally?”

Speaking of people who celebrated Halloween hardcore. My brother was one of those people who started decorating for Halloween in August. I’m sure he already had his costume and had already planned his costumes for the next five Halloweens. “Hey Luis. Sorry, didn’t look at who was calling before I answered.”

Luis and I had a pretty decent relationship, in the way that siblings did. I’d kill him for eating the last Oreo in the package but I’d also kick someone’s ass if they wronged him. We were only fifteen months apart, so we had always been forced together as kids in hopes that we would be best friends. For the most part, we were. He was the first person I called to vent to and I was the first person he called when he had a question. 

“No worries. How’s things over at SF?”

He was based in Los Angeles for his job. A job, coincidentally, that was almost identical to mine. Unlike me, however, he didn’t write segments for his company’s Youtube channel FunFriday. He just participated in all the weird shit they did and helped produce. There was a bit of sibling rivalry and healthy competition as FunFriday was our biggest competitor at the moment, but Brooke wasn’t shitty about things like that.

“Decent. Brooke’s making me do another one of Jaya’s segments.”

Luis snorted. “You haven’t had a boyfriend in like six years. The fuck more about love could you know?”

If it were coming from anyone else, the comment might have stung. I knew Luis meant for it to cheer me up, though. “That’s what I tried to tell Brooke, but everyone here is apparently incompetent and I’m her saving grace.”

“Those were her words verbatim?”

I scowled. “Something like that, anyway. What’s up?”

While Luis and I were close, we never called each other during work hours. We knew how busy the other was. So if he was calling me, it meant it was pretty  important. I heard him sigh on the other line and braced myself for the worst. “I might have a solution to your problem, actually.”

“If you say smoking a bowl—”

“Jesus, no. Look, don’t tell Brooke anything yet because I’m only like ninety percent sure it’s happening, but Malcolm’s gonna call her about maybe doing some Halloween segments together. Malcolm thinks it’ll be a good way to get both of our viewers up and people will enjoy the NorCal and SoCal Youtube sensations together.”

I leaned back in my seat, kicking my heels off. “I’m pretty sure all our Halloween segments are already planned.”

“Ours too. They want us to put something together last minute if we can.”

I let out a low whistle. “That’ll be a shit ton of work. Are you involved in any of the new segment’s Malcolm’s thinking of?”

Malcolm King was the Brooke Madison of FunFriday. He was the brains behind their most popular segments. Though he hadn’t created the company from scratch, their head honcho had left the company only five months after starting it up and had left Malcolm in a shitty position. Malcolm was able to turn his bad situation around, however, and for that, he had my respect. I also knew him well enough from Luis’s stories to know that he was an ambitious son of a bitch.

“Nah, I opted out this year. Niall’s gonna do them, I think, but he’s not happy about it. The guy hates Halloween because he’s scared of his own shadow.”

Niall was Luis’s best friend at FunFriday. They had met on their first day and it was a name I had heard ever since. He’d even come to our house for a couple of holidays, but it was always conveniently the holidays I had to spend at work, so I’d never actually met the man. Even though I’d never met him, though, he was somehow as familiar to me as Luis was because I’d heard so much about him.

“Well, that’s probably why Malcolm’s having him do it. Viewers eat that shit up. If they think he hates it, they’ll love it.”

“Yeah, that’s what Malcolm said. But he wants someone from SF to help with the Halloween shit. I think they’re gonna ask that coworker of yours with the blue hair?”

He was talking about Rilynn Mathers. If I recalled correctly, her hair was now pink. “Right, right. She’d be a good one to ask. She goes crazy over Halloween and believes in ghosts. The whole shebang.”

“She’d probably work well with Niall, too. Alright, just wanted to keep you updated. You taking your lunch?”

I eyed my protein shake that I’d set on my desk this morning. I knew he probably meant something more substantial, but with all the shit I had to do for Current Noose and Jaya’s channel, I didn’t even have time to pick up a fork, much less focus on eating. “On it. Talk to you later.”

The phone call with my brother was a nice reprieve from the inner workings of my mind, but I knew that I needed to hurry and slam down my protein shake and then try and plan what the fuck I was going to do for Jaya’s channel. Anything involving exes was a definite no; Jaya was way better at handling shit like that. The fragrance thing happened to go over well, but I had thought about that on a drunken whim when I was trying to drown myself in the shower. Luckily, this happened often enough that I had bought myself a waterproof pen and notepad that I kept in the shower for whenever those wonderful ideas hit me.

“Delivery!” Someone said, knocking on my door as I finished with my shake and threw the carton in the trash. It was my assistant, a younger girl by the name of Sabine. She was also, coincidentally, one of my best friends. She was holding a Scream-Gram, an idea by one of my more Halloween-enthused coworkers. It included an orange and black dyed flower with a little candy bar attached to the stem by bright purple ribbon. “Happy October.”

What the fuck was in the air with all this Halloween shit? It was like the second we changed our calenders, people lost their minds. “Oh,” I said, accepting the flower and candy bar from Sabine’s hand. “Thanks.” When she didn’t leave, I raised an eyebrow. “This doesn’t come with a song performance, does it?”

She laughed. “No, just trying to be nosy and see what shit you’ve come up with for Jaya’s segment.”

I groaned, pushing the flower away from me and retrieving my ideas notebook from underneath all the shit on my desk. “I don’t know why Brooke thinks I can do this. I hate writing romance segments.”

“But people love romance and they love you. The two of those things together is their kryptonite.” Sabine plopped herself down on the corner of my desk, something I had told her multiple times annoyed me, but also something she had done so much that I had just gotten used to it. “Brooke’s in a meeting with Malcolm King. Luis tell you anything about that?”

Shit, Malcolm worked fast. I couldn’t blame him, though. If he wanted to squeeze in extra content for this month when it was already October first, I’d be moving like someone lit a fire under my ass too. “No clue. Why don’t you take your nosy self and find out on your own?”

“Because it’s much more fun annoying you until you tell me. Plus, Luis is shit at keeping secrets and we know it. So, what’d he tell you?”

I groaned. “Malcolm wants our channels to work together on something for Halloween.” She gave me a look that translated into: does that bastard know it’s October first and we’ve had our Halloween segments planned for months? I nodded at the expression, sure it was the same one on my face when Luis had told me the news. “Exactly. But, I’ve gotta admit, viewers would go crazy. They love FunFriday and they love SF.”

Sabine pondered it for a moment. “Well. Guess we’ll find out what Brooke thinks later. Would Luis be doing it?”

“Nope. He said they voluntold Niall.”

My assistant let out a loud whistle. “Shit. Maybe I’ll volunteer then. That man is something else.”

Though I’d never met him in person, I dutifully watched all the segments my brother did on his channel and Niall was included in most of them, which meant I had seen what he looked like, at least. I couldn’t exactly disagree with Sabine. Objectively, Niall was handsome. But he seemed a little too serious for my taste. “Not the point, Sabine.”

“And that accent? I went to Ireland two summers ago and none of them sound as good as he does.”

“I’m sure the people of Ireland will murder you for that comment later.” I gestured towards the door in a shoo, shoo motion. “Now go. I have work for Jaya’s shit.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Sabine jumped off my desk and exited my office. The Scream-Gram sat untouched on the corner of my desk, begging for me to give it attention.

I didn’t hate Halloween. It was a cute and fun enough holiday. I liked seeing some of the cute kids that came to my door for some candy. I just didn’t believe in things like ghosts, demons, or anything supernatural. To me, those things were just stories made up to scare horror-movie watchers and thrill-seekers. Luis had once tried to scare me with tales of Verónica Jaja and how if I said her name three times into a mirror, she’d take my soul. In the end, he just managed to end up scaring himself and having to sleep with our parents in their room for three months until he started camping out with me. 

Whenever friends and I went out to see scary movies, I was never affected. My friends sometimes stayed over at my apartment because they didn’t want to be alone, but I could easily have all my lights off and sleep with my feet outside of the blankets because to me, that shit wasn’t real. I didn’t believe in any of that, so I wasn’t afraid of it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t care much about Halloween. Sure, I liked watching the old Disney Channel movies I had grown up with, but other than that, the holiday wasn’t much on my radar. 

And it definitely wasn’t on my list of priorities. My eyes scooted over to where Jaya’s segment data sat. 

She had emailed me some ideas, but they were half-hearted and not thoroughly planned out because she had her little girl. Even if I used one of her ideas, I’d be doing the bulk of the work. And this piece on Current Noose was going to be about the failed recall election of California, which also needed my full attention. I ran my hands through my hair, doing my best to comb through it afterwards in case someone came into my office. I didn’t need to reflect the mess I felt inside. Grabbing one of my posh gel pens that I had bought for way too much money, I started brainstorming.

Jaya had a pretty developed idea about talking to scientists about what happens to a person biologically when they fall in love. Their heart rates, their sweaty palms. It was a great idea, but seeing as we’d just had a scientist on for our last segment, it was too close together to actually put much merit into it. Her other idea included a couple’s baking segment, but that was (quite literally) a recipe for disaster if it meant I had to get shit together and come up with a decent script that would keep the viewers entertained. 

A knock on my door sounded once more and I debated throwing my pen at it. In the end, I had decided it had cost me too much. When I saw it was Brooke strolling into my room, I straightened a little. “What’s up, boss?”

“Cut the shit, I know Luis called you.”

Brooke and Malcolm both knew of mine and Luis’s honest sibling relationship. They had made their peace with it. Since both our channels were about as popular as one another, they didn’t mind a little fun sibling rivalry or sibling secret-sharing sessions. So when she said this, I knew she meant it all in good fun, like she always did when she talked about Luis and me. “Yeah, Sabine mentioned Malcolm was quick to call you.”

Brooke took the seat in front of my desk, crossing her leg over the other. “Do you really not want to do Jaya’s segment?”

I was immediately on the defensive. “I was just joking around earlier. I don’t know much about the romance side of things in life, but if you need me to, I’ll do it. Sorry if I gave you crap about it earlier.” Honestly, I’d probably do whatever Brooke asked me to.

“No, no, that’s not why I’m asking.” She handed me a binder. When I opened it, there were printed documents about the Halloween segments that Malcolm had suggested to her. “Malcolm was quick with this. His idea is to get together someone who believes in and is scared of ghosts and someone who doesn’t believe in those things and send them to some haunted places. It would be a five week deal since there’s five Fridays in October this year. He suggested Rilynn, but I...well, I suggested you.”

My eyebrows rose in surprise. “Why?” I couldn’t help but ask. Rilynn was way more suited to something like this.

“Well, first off, Rilynn totally believes in all that shit,” Brooke joked. “I think she got like twelve Scream-Grams today.” Brooke’s eyes trailed to the flower and candy on my desk and smiled. “Second...and if you repeat this, I will happily deny it and fire you...but I just have always felt confident with you. I know whatever you do, you’re gonna be great at it. If I would trust one person dealing with our competitor, it would be you. You’re one of the best, Eva. I don’t say this lightly. It’s why I passed Jaya’s stuff onto you. I know you hate it, but you get it done and you get it done well. Truthfully, I think this place wouldn’t survive without you. And if you really don’t want to do Jaya’s stuff, I figured I’d give you the option.”

Hearing someone have so much faith in you was incredibly important. I knew my family had faith in what I did. I got lucky with my parents and Luis. I knew Sabine believed in me. But hearing it from Brooke, who had plucked me out of a misogynistic and horrible workplace and had taken a chance on me...it meant so much more. 

Which was why my answer was so automatic. “Yes!” She jumped a little in surprise at the force in my tone, so I tried to control myself. “Yes, I’ll do it. Who’ll take Jaya’s segment?”

She smiled wryly. “Wyatt.” Before I could laugh, she wagged her finger at me. “Not a peep out of you, you little shit.” She tapped her finger against the binder. “All you need to know is here. Travel expenses are paid for, of course. You’ll need to contact Malcolm and the kid you’ll be working with. I think his name is Niall?” She shrugged. “And...I’m proud of you, Eva.”

My chest fluttered, feeling warm as she smiled at me. She stood up to leave, pushing open my door. Except, she was almost bulldozed down by a body crashing into my office.

It was Wyatt, heavily panting like he had run across the Golden Date Bridge to get to my office. “Give me Jaya’s stuff! I’m making this the best damn segment Watts of Love has ever seen!”

[alisonfelixwrites]

sunlit. - part two - muse one shot [harry styles au]

//

part one.

summary: in which Eden and Harry lost track of one another after she moved back to the UK, and she is visiting her father's house a year later with her boyfriend.

A/N: you guys asked for a part two.......... BUCKLE UP

word count: 18,859

CW's: age gap, SMUT! oral (f & m receiving), rimming (f & m receiving) spitting, choking, degrading, unprotected sex, anal play , mentions of a threesome

//

“Sadie…” Harry sighed, stroking his hand over his dog’s head as she whined softly, her head resting on his lap. He rolled his eyes a bit, “No need to be dramatic now. You’re the one who licked the bar of soap.”

He softly scolded the dog, always rather happy that no one could hear him as he spoke to his dogs as if they were humans.

Harry was beat. Not only was it about forty degrees outside in the peak of summer in Italy, but he had a right scare today when Sadie started throwing up. Panicked, Harry sprinted to the house of his neighbors to ask them to watch the smallest dog as he took the biggest to the vet, but no one answered.

Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Harry then brought both dogs with him. He knew Lola wouldn’t be calm when Sadie wasn’t there, so leaving her home by herself wasn’t an option. 

After a day of vet-visits, comforting Sadie and rolling his eyes when he realized she licked the bar of soap and got sick because of that - Harry was now home. Both dogs snuggled into his side as he laid on the leather couch in his living room, fan blowing in full force in an attempt to keep the three of them a little cooler.

Harry loved living in Italy. He hadn’t regretted it for a second, but days like today made it even impossible to be outside for longer than a few minutes. Even a dip in the pool wouldn’t cool him off enough. He needed to stay inside.

With his shirt unbuttoned and one hand on Sadie’s fur, he grabbed his phone. The Italian news was on but Harry hardly paid attention, opening up the dating app on his phone. He blinked while lazily scrolling, deleting every profile he came across as none of the women he saw peaked his interest.

No one had really peaked his interest in a long time. No one but Eden.

Harry clenched his jaw and sighed out through his nose, swiping the other way on a few profiles in a pathetic attempt to prove to himself that he was no longer thinking of her. It had been a fucking year. And this girl, who was ten years younger than, left a gaping hole in his heart when she left after their summer romance.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he missed. At first it was the sex, because that was the main thing about their meet-ups. Sex and sex and sex. And then he missed her smile, and her scent, and the rambles she did, and how grumpy she was in the mornings, and how she made his coffee and excitedly walked the dogs and kept him company. 

Harry hated to admit that he fell for her. 

He brought the screen a bit closer as he squinted at the description one of the women wrote on her profile.

“Looking for a serious relationship.” He mumbled, translating the italian before huffing out, “Yeah, skip.” He locked his phone again and sighed out, swallowing as he attempted to not think about Eden.

He failed, of course.

He always failed. Harry knew it was better this way. They had no future. She wouldn’t move here, and he was too set in his ways to uproot his Italian life and move back to London for a girl. Harry wasn’t pliant. If he were to meet someone, she’d have to fit his mold. Some called it stubborn, others called it being an asshole. Harry called it being his own person and protecting that. 

Sadie’s eyes closed as she laid her head on his tummy and Harry scratched below her chin for a bit to calm her. Lola snuggled into his other side and he stroked her fur too, eternally grateful for his two dogs. He wondered if they missed Eden when she left. 

He knew it was bad to be involved with her. They had to hide and she had to sneak over to his house most nights. They couldn’t decently go out, afraid of being seen. So they stayed in and Eden quickly made his house a home for herself. Harry remembered the third or fourth time she walked in, it was as if she owned the place. She knew where everything was and moved through Harry’s large house with such confidence and comfort, it almost felt like he was the visitor instead of her.

And he allowed her. He allowed her to buy plants, he allowed her to rearrange his furniture, he allowed her to tape her favorite shows on his television, he even allowed her to paint over one of the walls that had a dreadful gray color before. Every time he walked past the muted orange wall of the hallway now, he was sledgehammered back to a painting Eden in this very house.

It had never felt so lonely here as it did after she left.

He groaned to himself, running a palm over his face before deciding to just get to bed and clear his mind. It had been a year. He had to get a grip. 

His dogs whined and pouted from the movement of his body and Harry coaxed them, even picking small Lola up on his arm to carry her upstairs after he turned off the fan and locked all the doors. He checked their water bowls and made sure the water was nice and fresh for them before heading up the stairs, Sadie trotting behind him.

Harry yawned as he set Lola down on his sheets and Sadie jumped up too, almost knowing her side of the bed and leaving Harry’s untouched. His sheets were still ruffled from when he got up this morning, and Harry shrugged off the linen shirt he wore to maybe grab a quick, cold shower before bed - the ultimate way to cool down.

Walking around his bedroom, he couldn’t help it when his eyes were drawn to his window to glance at Eden’s window. The light hadn’t been on there in a year. He sometimes saw a bit of movement, but suspected it was just Ron or Colleen cleaning the room. 

But now, he stopped dead in his tracks.

It was dark outside, but her lights were on. The lights in Eden’s room were on. Harry squinted as he walked up to the window, dropping the shirt in his hand and blinking to get a clearer view of what was going on.

That’s not Eden, he thought to himself.

No, he saw a shirtless guy, leaning back against the windowsill. Harry could only see the guy’s back and shaggy brown hair. His shoulders were tense, fingers gripping around the windowsill as the guy tipped his head back. Harry’s brows raised, wondering who the hell this was.

Did Ron and Colleen rent out their house for the weekend?

“Oh my god.” Harry mumbled, bile rising up in his throat when a second person emerged.

Eden.

She rose from her knees, a smile on her lips as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and licked her lips, even wiping her mouth a bit with the back of her hand. Harry didn’t have to wonder what she was doing on her knees in front of him.

Her hair was slightly longer and a bit more wavy, and she was in a sport’s bra. Harry’s throat ran dry when he couldn’t even blink. He couldn’t move. If Eden had eyes for anything else but the guy in front of her, she’d for sure see Harry. But Eden didn’t take her eyes off the guy, smiling as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pulled her in for a kiss.

Harry blinked a few times, wondering if he was fucking dreaming. Eden arched into the guy, who went on to cup her ass, lifting her up easily before they disappeared from view.

The lights were still on, and Harry saw their shadows dancing on the wall of the bedroom he had the view of. He saw tangled legs for a bit, but every other part of their bodies was concealed by the curtains or the brick wall of the smaller house next to Harry’s.

He felt sick. She was here? Eden was here?

Harry’s hands trembled as he quickly pulled out his phone, scrolling down to his text-conversation with Eden.

His stomach sank a bit when he noticed the final message they had exchanged. One from her, from about seven months ago. And even before that, the conversation was mostly one sided. Eden texted him good morning on most days, and Harry only sparsely replied. 

At the time, he didn’t feel like too much of a dick about it. He basically thought he was doing her a favor. When Eden left, they promised to text and call. And they did, for the first few weeks. But it died down. Eden got a job, hung out with friends, had her life back home while Harry was here. She didn’t make plans to come here, he didn’t make plans to go there and it just… ended. 

In her last message she ever sent him, she asked him if he slept well. He never responded. It was a moment of clarity for Harry, realizing it wasn’t going anywhere and they had no future. He was a fool to think they ever did. And so he broke it off and just stopped responding.

Now, with trembling fingers, he drafted up a message to her.

Message to: Eden, xx

Am I dreaming?

His thumb ghosted over the screen as he stared at the words, flicking his eyes back to the window every few seconds until his shoulders dropped a bit. He deleted the message. 

The lights were still on but he didn’t see anything anymore. He felt sick. Absolutely sick. The first time he saw Eden in a year and she was in bed with another guy.

Eden’s phone on the bedside table stayed silent as Harry decided not to text her, and she laid on the bed with Jason between her thighs. They had to keep it down, remembering her father and Colleen were downstairs watching television.

“Careful.” Eden whispered as the bed rocked into the wall a little too hard. Jason groaned into her neck, “Fuck - I can’t slow down, ‘m so close.”

Eden pouted as she ran her hands through his hair, “I haven’t cum yet.”

Jason slammed inside of her, making Eden squeak a bit as she jolted up on the bedding. He stayed deep, completely hunched over her, “G-Give me a second.” He panted, recomposing himself. Eden bit her lip and nodded, allowing Jason a little time if it meant getting her off. She stroked her thumb over his cheekbone, staring into the deep blue of his eyes and he dropped his lips on hers, shortly kissing her. 

“Rub your clit, baby.” He whispered against her lips. Eden nodded, slipping her hand between their bodies. Jason’s cock moved inside of her, the condom and Eden’s arousal making the glide slick and easy. Her fingers found her nerves, rubbing tight circles as Jason fucked into her again, making her breathing shorter and she bit her lip to keep her moans down.

“Shit.” Eden choked on a moan as she reached her high, and Jason saw it as his cue to finally cum too, burying himself inside of her as he finished inside the condom. 

Eden lazily smiled as her body buzzed in the aftermath of her high, and Jason pressed sloppy kisses into her neck, “Hmm, baby…” He hummed.

They laid together for a bit until Jason pulled out to go clean himself up in the bathroom. Eden stretched her muscles, rolling around the bed a bit. She was still wearing her sport’s bra and reached for her panties to put them back on. As she reached for her shirt, Jason came back into the bedroom, still naked.

He sleepily smiled, “We should take a trip more often if you’re gonna jump me like that.”

Eden bit her lip and chuckled, shrugging her shoulders, “Yeah, ‘s nice here. But please don’t walk around naked, my dad or Colleen won’t appreciate it.”

Jason yawned and nodded, “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” 

Eden’s heart felt warm at his gentle apology and she planted a kiss to his lips, “Go to sleep. I’ll be right there.”

Jason plopped down into the bed as Eden stood in front of her window, her chest tightening just a smidge when she glanced at Harry’s window. His blinds were closed and the lights were off. 

Coming back here brought back all the memories. The first time she saw him through the window and waved at him, and the second time he watched her masturbate. All hell broke loose after that and they had basically been naked for weeks in a row.

And then she left and he ghosted her. And every kind word he ever said to her got drowned by the fact that he never responded when she wished him a good morning. On drunken nights, Eden was glad she blocked his number because she had been on the verge of calling him or sending him angry texts far too often. In the end, she was glad she never gave him the attention. 

Attention he clearly didn’t want anyway. 

The opportunity to go on holiday for free, staying in this house for a few weeks, was just too nice to pass on. Even if Eden could possibly be confronted by Harry. But they were both adults and she’d do her best to avoid him. Besides, she was here with Jason. 

They had only been dating for a few months but he was sweet and soft. And he was nothing like Harry. Harry was stern and dominant. Sometimes he was bossy. Furthermore, he was arrogant and closed-off. Jason was an open book. He confessed his feelings for Eden after only a few dates and it had been smooth sailing ever since. He had hearts in his eyes whenever he looked at her and she’d hardly have to breathe or Jason was ready to move mountains for her.

He was at Eden’s feet, if she was honest. He sweet, gentle and kind. And it brought a sense of freshness after whatever fling she had with Harry. She couldn’t call it a relationship. For it to be anything more than sex, they actually had to talk. And it was something her and Harry never really did. It was as if he always knew they’d end, which is why he never really opened up to her. What was the point in opening up if she’d leave?

Eden vividly remembered him asking her to cancel her flight. But he never asked her to stay, which is why he watched her go. And maybe Eden somehow made a bigger deal of it, but it did pain her when Harry ghosted her. Reflecting back on it, she knew he was toxic. She was a lost puppy for him, drunk on the sex and the way he threw her around and dominated her in the bedroom.

The orgasms Harry gave her were imprinted in her brain. How things were with Jason didn’t come close, but still satisfied her. Jason was gentle as a man, and gentle as a lover. He sometimes did what Eden asked of him, like spank her or choke her, but his heart was never really in it. She did enjoy the way he doted over her when he worried he hurt her. It was sweet. 

Jason was already lightly snoring by the time Eden also crawled in bed. He made room for her, smacking his lips together once as he yanked on her waist to pull her into his chest for the night.

Eden smiled to herself, nuzzling her nose into Jason’s jaw as she drifted off into a sleep.

***

Eden did seriously hope she could avoid Harry for just a little longer. 

It wasn’t much of a coincidence that Eden and Jason chose to take their holiday now - just as her dad and Colleen were going on a trip themselves. They were actually headed back to London to see the rest of the family, and Ron and Colleen had frowned when they realized their trip to London overlapped with Eden’s trip to Italy.

As if she hadn’t planned it that way.

So after just spending one day together at the house, it was the second morning in Italy and Eden’s dad and Colleen were making their bags to head to the airport.

It was Eden’s turn to drive them since there was only one car, and she’d be able to get around in Italy for the weeks they weren’t here. In a sense, Eden and Jason were housesitting. But Eden couldn’t wait for some uninterrupted time with him. They’d lounge around, do groceries, head to the markets and make day trips to the coast. 

Maybe they could rent a boat.

Eden hated how most of the fun things to do here were tainted with the memory of Harry. The market would bring her back to how they flirted so openly, and how Harry often called her from there to ask what she wanted for dinner. Renting a boat would bring her back to them having sex for the first time on the deck. 

To this day, it was the best sex Eden had ever had. 

Harry had been up early, jolting awake after dreaming of the images he saw the night before going to bed. 

Eden going down on that guy in her bedroom.

Part of Harry knew she was bound to return to the house one day. He didn’t have much contact with Ron and Colleen so he never asked them when she was coming back, and he also wasn’t sure if he did or didn’t want to see her again.

But seeing her again - even if it was with someone else - pulled on his heartstrings.

Although, the more he thought about it, the more he felt like she did it on purpose. It wouldn’t be the first time. Last year, she humped that pillow with her blinds open, knowing damn well Harry was watching her masturbate. Maybe she wanted him to see. Maybe she wanted to pay him back for ghosting her and make him jealous. It did seem like Eden to pull a move like that.

He peaked through his window that morning, seeing the car drive off with Eden behind the wheel. Ron was next to her, Colleen in the back. Harry nibbled his lip and leashed his dogs, taking them for a walk. He curiously stared at the house, walking past it maybe a few more times than needed. 

Eventually the door did open as Harry was on the little gravel road in front of the house, a guy popping his head out with a slight frown on his face, “Buongiorno.” He sent Harry an awkward wave, “Can I help you?”

Harry licked his bottom lip, knowing immediately this was the guy Eden had given a blowie two days prior. Sadie wiggled her tail at the sight of another human and the guy’s eyes dropped to Harry’s dogs, offering them a small smile as if to greet them.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes for no good reason. He cleared his throat and waved back, “Hello there. I’m the neighbor.”

“Oh.” The guy smiled, opening the front door wider and clearly dropping the hesitation he had going on earlier, “Hi, nice to meet you. Sorry, I just noticed you walking past the house like seven times, thought maybe you were scoping the surroundings to break in later tonight.” He joked, approaching Harry with an outstretched hand.

Harry forced another smile, somehow not finding it funny. He unenthusiastically shook the guy’s hand, “I’m Harry.”

He thought maybe the mention of his name would spark something with the guy, like Eden had perhaps mentioned him. But he just nodded and shook Harry’s hand, “Jason.” He introduced himself.

A douchebag name.

“So, a fellow Brit, right?” Jason guessed and Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Yeah, the accent’s hard to hide. Hey - uh, is Eden not home?”

Jason’s brows raised, “Eden? No, she’s driving her dad and Colleen to the airport. You must know Ron and Colleen, right?”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, “I know Eden too.” He hinted again.

Jason slowly nodded, not catching on and Harry shot him a faint grin, secretly enjoying this very much, “She hasn’t mentioned me? We - uh, we actually used to date. Like last year when she was here for the summer.”

Jason’s brows shot up even higher as he stared at Harry, “What? You and Eden?”

“Mhm.” Harry smiled, “Kind of a… summer romance thing.” He casually shrugged, feeling as his dogs circled around his legs. Jason nibbled his lip, as if unsure how to handle that information, “Right. That’s - uh… yeah. No, she hasn’t mentioned you.” He shot Harry a puzzled look, while Harry tried to hide the fact that it pained him that Eden didn’t talk about him.

“How long have you two been together?” Harry asked the dreaded question and Jason’s face lit up a bit, “Few months, like… four.” He counted in his head before offering Harry a smile, “She’s great.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s great.” Harry enunciated the word a little too much for Jason’s liking, who swallowed, “So - yeah, it’s kind of our first trip together. Ron and Colleen are ironically heading back to London for a few weeks to see family, so we’re watching the house.” Jason explained.

Harry wasn’t sure if he had to laugh or cry. A few weeks. A few weeks of Eden being next door, fucking this guy while he was brooding in his living room, pining over a girl he let slip from his hands. He swallowed thickly, “That’s nice.”

A silence fell between them. Harry glanced at Jason, who was looking at Sadie and Lola. He looked younger. Not younger than Eden, but younger than him. His facial hair grew a little patchy and his hair was the type of shaggy that would look awful on Harry because it’d be like him trying to look too young for his age. But Jason got away with it. He was a bit shorter and not as muscular as Harry was. And Harry came to the stupid realization that Jason didn’t particularly look young, but maybe he just looked old.

Harry cleared his throat, “‘M gonna head back inside and let the dogs get their drink in.” He spoke, “Nice meeting you.”

Jason nodded and smiled, “Yeah, you too, man. If you ever need someone to watch the dogs or something… E and I would be more than happy.”

E.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes and knock Jason’s teeth out, but settled on a forced smile, “I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks.”

When Eden came back a few hours later, she felt butterflies in her stomach. Completely ignoring Harry’s house, she pulled up in the driveway of the house her and Jason would call home for a few weeks. She nearly jumped out of the car to head inside, finding Jason in the kitchen with a wide grin and immediately opening his arms for Eden to jump in them. She squealed in his ear, “Finally alone.” She whispered against his lips.

Jason kissed her lips, holding her up below her thighs, “Did everything go okay?” He checked and Eden nodded, “Mhm. I’m so glad we have the car though. We can take little day trips.” Eden stroked her fingers through Jason’s hair, “Like… go to the beach, or a winery…” She mused out loud.

Jason smiled and kissed her again, “Sounds amazing.” He let her down on her feet again, “Hey, by the way, I met the neighbor.”

Eden’s head flipped quickly, staring at him, “What?”

“Yeah, Harry.” Jason leaned back against the counter, “He - uh… he said you two used to date. Like… last year.”

Eden nibbled her lip, her stomach feeling tight at the idea that Harry and Jason talked. She swallowed, “We didn’t date.” She shrugged, “We just slept together. I was here for a few weeks after graduation and I left when I got the job offer.”

Jason slowly nodded, “Right.”

“We tried to keep in touch.” Eden continued, “Like we texted and called. And then he ghosted me.” She shrugged before nibbling her lip again, “I told you about the guy I was getting over, right? When we met?”

“Mhm, you did.” Jason didn’t seem at all angry or jealous, he was simply curious. Eden also knew he’d never lash out against her. She was pretty sure she could cheat on him and he’d still forgive her, that’s how much he liked her and how gentle he was. Eden nodded too, “Well, that was him.”

“Okay.” Jason nodded again, “I mean, that’s fine, right? He’s just a guy.” Jason shrugged, “He just… I don’t know, he looked a little old.” He chuckled.

Eden smiled too, “He’s not that old.” She shook his head, “Like… early thirties, I’m pretty sure.”

“And are you still like… I don’t know, into him?” Jason checked. Eden dropped her eyes, “I mean, I was hurt when it ended. It only did last a few weeks, but it was intense. It felt vulnerable.” She tried to explain, “But no, I don’t have any hard feelings towards him. Like you said, he’s just a guy. I wouldn’t even classify him as an ex, it was never anything official and I was never his girlfriend. We… we barely talked.”

Jason gently stroked Eden’s arm, “But he did mean something to you.”

“Yeah.” She shrugged and Jason nodded, “Well, he seemed nice.” He settled on saying. 

“I mean, now it feels kind of weird.” Eden mumbled, “Like he’s next door and I’m here and we haven’t spoken in like… eight months. And he’s talked to you but not me.” She wondered out loud, “Maybe I should just go say hi really quick.”

Jason pressed his lips together but forced Eden a smile, not having the heart to disagree with her, “Yeah, if you want to.” He shrugged, “You could.”

Eden nervously fiddled with her fingers, “Right.” She made attempts to get up from the couch, “I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Jason opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, just nodded as Eden exited the house and walked into the warm evening air of Italy. The small stones crunched underneath her slippers as she made her way over to the familiar house that was Harry’s.

She couldn’t keep count of the amount of times she had done this little walk. Sneaking out at night to go sleep at his place. She jumped his fence often, hid in the bushes, took the back entrance. But now, it felt formal. So Eden rolled her lips inside of her mouth and shakily raised her hand to ring his bell.

Eden didn’t know why she was nervous. It was like Jason said, Harry was just a guy. A guy she had feelings for, a guy who hurt her. But a guy who told her it was never that deep and Eden knew from the get-go not to get her hopes up. But time and romance were a cruel combination, and the feelings snuck up on her.

Sure, she was the one who left. And Eden only did realize how much she missed him once she was back in London. Harry couldn’t be persuaded to visit her and he never asked her to come back to Italy. And that was that.

Lola and Sadie both lifted their heads when someone rang the bell late in the evening. Harry had returned from walking them and was watching some Italian game show as he laid on the leather couch with the fan blowing full speed to keep them a little cool. 

He ran a hand through his hair and frowned, gently nudging Sadie off as his bare feet hit the cold tiles and he walked over to the front door. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but somehow the sight of Eden didn’t completely surprise him.

She peered up at him and he blinked, hit with every memory of her in front of his door. The playful smile was replaced with a nervous one, and she didn’t jump into his arms for them to stumble inside the house this time, rather had her hands locked behind her back as she nervously shifted on her feet.

“Uh - hi.” He mumbled, his chest pounding as Eden swallowed, “Hey. I - uh… Jason said you spoke to him. Thought I’d come say hi.” She shrugged.

“Jason.” Harry nodded, opening the door a bit wider, “Yeah.” He then let out a sharp breath, shaking his head, “It’s… it’s good to see you.”

Eden wanted to roll her eyes but settled on another small smile, “Mhm. You too.” She had questions burning on her tongue but swallowed them all back. She didn’t want to give Harry the satisfaction. Her eyes glanced inside the house longingly. She did always love this house. 

She remembered the paint stains on her skin after transforming that horrendous gray wall in the hallway. Eden wondered if her plants got taken care of once she left, or if Harry let them wilt and die.

A gentle bark from inside the house made her brows raise and a small smile played on her lips. Harry glanced over his shoulder before clearing his throat, “You wanna see the dogs?” He questioned.

Eden knew it was dangerous territory to get inside of his house. Harry was charismatic and somehow had such a huge amount of power over her, Eden found it hard to explain. She had her boyfriend next door and was supposed to only quickly say hi to Harry to avoid any awkwardness later on - but she found herself nodding at his question, “Sure.”

Harry opened the door wider, biting his lip when Eden brushed past him and into the house. She wasn’t hesitant when rounding corners and she moved through the furniture almost blindly. The smell of her perfume lingering behind her felt overwhelming to Harry, who leaned against the doorpost as he watched a brightly smiling Eden crouch down to greet Lola.

Both dogs excitedly wagged their tails and circled around Eden, booping her over and over again as she giggled, “Hi, girls.” She whispered, “Hi. Did you miss me?” She spoke in a little baby voice and Harry couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his lips, “I think they did.”

Eden flicked her eyes to the side, swallowing as Harry watched her. She got up her feet again and Harry cleared his throat, “Sadie got sick actually, yesterday. She licked a bar of soap and started throwing up. Took her to the vet.” He wasn’t sure why he told that random story, maybe to break the silence. It felt nerve-wracking to have Eden in the room with him. 

There was tension. He wanted to walk up to her and kiss her and drag her upstairs to claim her again, but Eden had her guard up. He could sense it from a fucking mile away. 

“Right.” She breathed, swallowing away the lump in her throat. Eden glanced to the side to see the dead plants. Her fingers trembled a bit but she tried to play it so fucking cool. Harry didn’t deserve to see her suffer. It was almost as if Eden didn’t realize how hurt and angry she actually was until she saw him. Until he acted so fucking casual.

“You wanna drink something?” He suggested, breaking the silence.

Eden wanted to laugh. She shook her head before tilting it to the side, “Think a glass of wine will get me back in your bed?”

Harry’s brows raised at her blunt words. He knew Eden didn’t bite her tongue. He knew she was sharp and witty and always had a response. His shoulders tensed a bit, “No.” He mumbled, “That’s not… that’s not what I was trying to do.” It was.

Eden huffed softly, “Right.”

Harry frowned a little, “Is there… do you have some problem with me?”

“Me?” Eden raised her brows, “Nope.” She lied, “Look, I just wanted to come over and say hi. It felt weird that you spoke to Jason before speaking to me.” She tried to exit the house again but Harry blocked her and Eden had a fiery look in her eyes as she looked up at him, “I’d really like for you to leave us alone.”

Fuck, Eden tried to keep her cool but she couldn’t. She was two seconds away from completely exploding. All the emotions she had tucked away for months in a row, came back in full force. She never got to tell him. She never told him how it felt for her, how she coped, how she hurt. Harry had no fucking clue.

Harry gave her a puzzled look. He almost wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, “I-I am. Leaving you alone.” He shrugged, “You came knocking on my door.” It was childish and he knew it and Eden rolled her eyes. His chest tightened. He loved it when she did that. When she got so fucking bratty. Usually she did it because she was so passionate about a certain topic they got into a heated discussion.

Harry loved riling her up just for the sake of punishing her later on. And Eden loved it too. It was a bit of a toxic game they had going on. But now, Eden was pissed. 

“You chose your moment, hm?” She challenged, “Searching for Jason while I wasn’t there.”

“I was walking my fucking dogs, Eden.” Harry gritted through his teeth. God, he didn’t expect it to turn out this way, “Public street.”

“Should I have thrown pebbles at your window the evening you arrived, hm? While you were blowing that twat?!” The words were out before he realized it and Eden’s eyes widened in surprise. Her cheeks turned hot as she took a step back, “What?!”

Harry clenched his jaw and bit his tongue as he grumbled under his breath and Eden huffed out sharply, “Fucking hell - you saw me?!”

“Close your blinds!”

Eden gasped, “Then don’t fucking look! Oh my god!” She shook her head in disbelief, “You fucking pervert.”

Harry put his hands on his hips as he exhaled sharp breaths, swallowing, “I-I couldn’t not look. You were right there. I didn’t expect to fucking see you.”

Eden balled her fists, refraining herself from shoving him, “You have lost your fucking rights to spy on me through my window, Harry.” She bitterly spoke, “And I honestly didn’t think you’d even care.” She added the final bit in a mumble. 

Harry closed his jaw, lowering his gaze, “Why would I not care?”

“Because you fucking ghosted me.” Eden’s voice dangerously wobbled and she recomposed herself, taking a deep breath, “You don’t have the right.” She spoke, shaking her head, “Just… leave me and my boyfriend alone.”

She brushed past him this time, knocking her shoulder into Harry’s arm as she left the house. Eden ignored the whining of his dogs and only let a few tears fall once she was out on the street. Her heart hammered and she was crying out of sheer, sheer frustration.

The fucking nerve he had.

Eden hadn’t even thought twice when leaving the blinds open as she was on her knees for Jason. Her thoughts weren’t with Harry, but with her boyfriend. And he watched her. He couldn’t have seen much, but it felt too intimate for Eden. He was too close, again.

She felt vile, knowing Harry had watched her. It struck a nerve with her, but Eden felt just a tad bit better about herself when she realized it apparently struck a nerve with Harry too. He sounded jealous. And Eden knew it sounded petty, but she was kind of glad she could hurt him back, even if it was in the worst way.

Her rage died down once Eden walked back into the house to find a smiling Jason on the couch, “Hey.” He got up his feet, “How’d it go?”

“Fine.” Eden breathed before she pressed a small kiss to his lips, “He won’t bother us.”

Jason had a puzzled look in his face as his thumb stroked the nape of Eden’s neck. He looked like he wanted to ask more, but didn’t. Eden closed her eyes and kissed him again, determined to turn this into a great vacation with her boyfriend.

***

Harry felt miserable.

He peered out his front window, Lola circling around his leg as he held the toy he had throwing back and forth for her, in his hand.

His eyes were on Eden and Jason, who were loading up the car for another little day trip.

He heard Eden’s playful giggle and it made his skin crawl. The wind played with the short hem of her sundress and even got a glimpse of her underwear as she lifted her arms to pull Jason in for a kiss.

His stomach turned watching her be so happy with someone else. Jason gently patted her ass, whereas Harry would’ve grabbed it. Jason’s hand rested on the nape of Eden’s neck as she got behind the wheel to drive, whereas Harry’s hand would’ve been between her thighs to tease her during the drive.

And so Harry had a crisis that day. An existential crisis.

In all his impulsivity, he even looked up apartments or houses in London. He closed the website again after about thirty minutes, telling himself he was being ridiculous. Uprooting his life for a girl who was taken and told him to leave her alone? Pathetic.

He got back to scrolling on the dating apps but that lasted for just a few minutes. His mind constantly drifted to Eden. How she made him feel so light. He had to get used to her bubbly, bratty personality. But Eden was a sweetheart and she’d walk through fire for the people she cared about. She was passionate, fiery, and unapologetically honest. 

And he was a fucking coward.

He let her slip away. Eden presented herself on a silver platter for him but Harry turned her down. And he fucking missed her so much. His life had been so dull without her. Harry had always liked being alone. His life here was secluded. He had a few friends who came to stay every once in a while, but lost touch with a lot of people he left behind in Britain. Harry wasn’t… the best at keeping in touch. Contact just fizzled out, friendships disappeared. 

He was close to his mum but didn’t see her a lot. His sister called sometimes but she had a family and was busy. Harry didn’t have an important ex-wife or kids, so he was just by himself a lot. And it had never felt as lonely as it did when he watched Eden drive away with Jason and not him.

He swallowed thickly, reminded of the little getaways they did the year before. Eden in the passenger seat, kissing on his neck and unbuttoning his shirt as the wind played with her hair and she whispered things in his ear, so filthy to the point Harry pulled over on a remote road and yanked her on his lap for a quickie. 

They had fun, last summer. Once the elastic snapped, they had fun like Harry had never had before. And he fooled himself into thinking it was just sex. It wasn’t.

Harry knew he could either walk around, brooding all day, or he could do something. And so he opened up the dating app again and texted back one of the women who tried to hit him up over the past few weeks. 

She was Italian and beautiful, and responded right away, agreeing to a date that same evening. Harry tried to ease his mind, knowing he’d have company tonight. Who knew, she could be the love of his life.

It’s what he told himself when he drove off into town to meet up with her. And low and behold, the date was fun. Fun enough that she agreed to come back to his place afterwards for a drink and to meet his dogs.

Eden felt alerted when she heard the engines pulling up on the road as her and Jason laid in bed watching a movie. The window was open for fresh air and his fingers played with her hair as they watched a very pixelated version of some action movie that Jason wanted to see. Eden had to admit she dozed off every once in a while.

She felt like toast after lounging on the beach today, and surprisingly, the doing nothing tired her out. 

Eden yawned as she got up, frowning slightly when she noticed two cars pulling up into Harry’s driveway. She recognized his cabrio but the white car next to his was unknown to her. Her stomach dropped into her ass when she saw a beautiful brunette walking out. Harry had a charming smile on his lips as he guided her towards the front door.

“Everything okay?” Jason checked. Eden swallowed, “Mhm.” She smiled, “Everything’s fine.”

She felt hot, opening up the window all the way in hopes of cooling down a bit. Harry brought home another woman. Eden tried not to think of how often that had probably happened in the past year. Perhaps he even did it while they were still calling and texting.

Hiking her leg up over Jason’s hips, Eden peppered gentle kisses over his jaw. He raised his brows as he turned his head with a knowing smirk, and Eden bit her lip before their lips met and the movie was forgotten.

“And this is my bedroom.” Harry spoke in Italian as he guided the woman through his house. Eva was gorgeous and she smiled as her heeled feet took her through his bedroom, inspecting some of the books on his tv-stand, “Hai una bella casa.” She complimented.

He smiled and nodded, “Sì, mi piace qui.”

His eye caught the brightness in Eden’s bedroom through his window, and he softly cleared his throat as he walked up to Eva. She didn’t seem very surprised when he put his hands on her hips and nudged her back into the windowsill. The breeze played with her hair, Harry’s window on a crack.

He tested the waters, nerves creeping up in his body. He hadn’t done this in a while. His nose bumped Eva’s before he carefully kissed her. She reciprocated easily, fingers sliding up his shoulders as their lips touched.

She leaned back against the windowsill as the kiss slowly grew a bit heavier, and then Harry froze.

Because he heard it. He heard her. A soft moan filled his ear and it came from a distance. It came from Eden. His eyes snapped open and his body went rigid, alerting Eva. She frowned a little bit in confusion, “Tutto ok?” She asked and Harry quickly nodded, clearing his throat before he kissed her again.

He knew the way Eden sounded. He knew she wasn’t particularly loud, she wasn’t a screamer. Harry knew these were the sounds she made when she was enjoying herself. And it was Jason’s doing, not his. The only salvation he felt was knowing she used to be noisier with him. She used to gasp and sob and whimper, which she didn’t do now. Eden softly moaned and Harry kept his eyes on the window as he kissed Eva. Part of him expected Eden to pop up in front of her window any moment now, but he saw nothing but shadows on the walls.

He imagined her on her back with her legs locked around Jason’s head as he had his tongue on her. 

Harry sighed out through his nose, deepening the kiss with Eva and attempting to block out Eden’s moans. But he couldn’t stop listening either. How fucking convenient that Eden left her window wide open while she was fucking her boyfriend.

Almost too convenient, right? Harry couldn’t help but think she did it on purpose to get a rise out of him. Wanting him to leave her alone and then pulling this move.

A shaky squeak escaped Eden and Harry’s hand grabbed Eva’s ass, pushing his hips against hers. Eva moaned out and their kiss broke shortly, “Shh.” Harry shushed her, resuming their kissing. He needed Eva quiet so he could hear Eden.

And he heard her. He heard her giggling, the shadows on the walls moving and he heard the unmistakable creak of the bed. He heard the familiar gasp she let out when she got filled, and Harry’s stomach turned when he knew Jason was inside of her. 

It was confirmed when he heard skin slapping against skin, Eden’s delicate whimpers accompanied by panting breaths from the guy fucking her.

Harry’s fingers dug into Eva’s skin as he only kissed her harder and harder, and his bulge grew and pressed into the soft of her covered tummy. But it wasn’t due to her. Sure, she was beautiful, she was nice and they had fun. But listening to Eden moaning so sweetly made Harry have a physical reaction he didn’t expect. 

He was even scared to blink, so desperate to get a glimpse of Eden, to know what she was doing, to know how her face scrunched up or how her eyes watered or how she bit her lip.

Her moans grew a bit higher and sharper and Harry groaned under his breath, the sound swallowed by Eva when Eden unmistakably came.

It was Eva this time who pulled away, her cheeks a bit pink. She let out an uncomfortable chuckle and glanced over her shoulder to Eden’s open window, “È un po’ inquietante, non è vero?” She commented on the noises coming out of Eden’s room.

Harry swallowed, his hard-on trapped in his pants and his breathing came out in sharp puffs. He felt sick. “Mi dispiace.” He murmured the apology as he let go of Eva and took a few steps back. Harry ran a hand through his hair, “I can’t do this. N-Non posso farlo.”

Eva looked at him in confusion but Harry sat down on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands. It was quiet for a few minutes until Eva’s footsteps walked past him and then downstairs. He stayed in his bedroom until the front door slammed and he heard her engine.

And he was alone again. He sniffled once in misery, lifting his head as he ran his hands over his face and tiredly got up his feet. Standing in front of his window to close it, he glanced up to see Eden. She didn’t notice him, one hand holding the sheet around her chest to cover herself up and her other hand grabbing the handle of the window to close it.

Their eyes locked as both went to close their window and Eden froze for a moment, seeing the pained look in Harry’s face. Her cheeks flushed at the thought he might’ve heard or seen something. Without giving him another glance, Eden closed the window and closed the blinds.

It was safe to say Harry still felt miserable the next day. He was sure Eden would think it was too convenient that he went on a jog the same moment she did. She stepped outside early in the morning the next day, wearing a sport’s bra and shorts to brave the heat even that early on in the day.

Glancing to her side, Harry also left his house, wearing a tanktop and shorts. He had a clip in his hair and headphones on, glancing to his side to see her looking back at him. Eden rolled her eyes and shook her head. Tightening her ponytail, she started her jog and ran past him without giving him a look. Going down the hill, Harry pressed his lips together before he followed behind her.

He tried to keep a distance, but he was still running rather close to her. And Eden felt agitated. About halfway down the hill, she briskly turned around while panting, “Will you stop that?!” She snapped.

Harry frowned as he yanked the headphones off, “What?” He hadn’t heard her through the music.

“Running right behind me.” Eden clarified, “Will you stop that?”

Harry huffed, “Look, I’m just going for a jog.” He shrugged, “Great minds think alike, I suppose.”

“You said you’d leave me alone.” Eden ran the back of her hand over her forehead to get rid of the sweat pearling at her hairline. The early sun lit her up, midriff heaving from the jog she had done thus far. Harry panted too, scoffing, “I am leaving you alone. But it’s a bit hard when I can’t go to sleep without hearing you getting fucked by your twat of a boyfriend.” He bit.

Eden’s lips pressed together, “That… Look, I’m sorry. I-I forgot about the window.”

“Sure.” Harry sneered, exhaling a humorless laugh. He felt blazing fire in his chest all of a sudden, so done with Eden’s allegations, “Like last year, hm? When you humped a pillow and pretended you didn’t want me to see you?”

“Stop.” Eden frowned, shaking her head, “Don’t bring that up, that was a long time ago. Look, I apologized. It won’t happen again.”

“Just admit that you were trying to make me jealous.”

It was Eden’s turn to let out a bitter cackle, “Excuse me?! I’d say you’re the one making me jealous, bringing home that woman.”

Harry felt a flash of pride welling up inside him that Eden noticed that. He fought the grin on his lips and instead bit his tongue. Eden glared at him, “Besides, why the fuck would I want to make you jealous?! You skipped me, remember?”

Harry shook his head to himself and silence fell between them. Eden swallowed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “I’m with someone else now. You don’t have… a claim over me anymore.”

“I miss you.”

Eden’s eyes widened and Harry’s shoulders dropped when the truth was finally out. After over a week of pining over her, here he was, spilling it all. He swallowed and shrugged, “I fucking miss you, Eden. I missed you. I-I was an idiot. And now you’re here and I know you missed me too, a-and I just want to go back what we were before.”

“And what exactly were we before?” Eden tried to keep her voice stern but it cracked as she challenged him with the question. Harry pressed his lips together, staring at his feet for a moment, “Just… us, I guess.”

Eden wanted to sigh at the words, because to her - they didn’t mean anything.

“I have a boyfriend.” She spoke. It was a weak defense and Harry huffed, “Yeah, I know.”

“Jason is sweet. He… He’s good to me.”

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek, “So he’s a doormat? Jesus, Eden - I know what it is you need, and it’s not sweet.”

Eden shook her head, “You don’t know.”

“I do.”

She sharply flicked her eyes up, “You don’t. Stop saying that.”

Harry’s lip twitched up in a little smirk, “See? There she is.” He took a step closer to her and Eden wanted to sink down her knees when Harry had to hardly use three words to get her wet and worked-up for him. She didn’t even know what it was, just his… demeanor. The way he carried himself. He was an asshole but she couldn’t help being so turned on by him.

Harry’s fingertip brushed her brow bone and Eden held her breath as Harry cooed her, “Feisty girl, hm? You’re a brat, Eden. You wanna be put in place, you need it. You crave it.”

Eden pressed her lips together as Harry stepped even closer to her, dick coming to life in his pants when he could see every detail on her face. The darkness in her eyes, the freckles on her nose, the piercing scar at the top of her ear, the drop of sweat running down her chest. God, he wanted to lick it up. He swallowed thickly, “He’s too sweet, Eden. You don’t want sweet. You want a challenge. You like the chase, you like the fight. Must be boring, hm? To be with someone who gives in so easily? I bet he kisses the ground you walk on.”

Eden’s shoulders tensed as Harry’s fingers trailed down the side of her neck and followed the shape of her sport’s bra down the swells of her breasts. Goosebumps rose over her skin as he near tickled her, and Eden didn’t move even an inch.

Harry fought his smirk at the reaction her body gave him. She was almost trembling. 

“And I did too. I just made you work for it.” He mumbled.

“I followed you around like a puppy.” Eden exhaled, swallowing and Harry hummed, “And now he follows you around like a puppy. How’s it feel, having a pussy sub for a boyfriend?” And Harry knew he took it too far. Eden frowned and took a step back, his touch disappearing, “H-He’s not -”

“He’s not?” Harry raised his brows, “I heard you yesterday, Eden. Don’t lie to me. I could tell you were having a good time but…” He stepped closer again, “I didn’t hear you whining, or sobbing. I didn’t hear spanking or spitting or slapping.” He listed. Eden lowered her eyes but Harry grabbed her chin, forcing her to stare up at him. She held her breath, feeling so dizzy with him this close, “He’s a fucking boy, Eden.” Harry whispered, “Thought you said you needed a real man?”

Eden’s brain turned foggy. She wanted to kiss him so bad. And drag him in the bushes and ride him until she passed out. The sexual tension between them was unmatched. It had been from the get-go. From the first time they spoke to each other with the barrier of the garden fence between them.

Harry’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I think he’s merely dipping his toe in the garden of Eden, isn’t he?” His tone was velvety smooth and Eden fought for a breath. She nearly leaned in and Harry noticed, letting go of her chin yet gently wrapping his hand around her throat, “Place of pleasure and delight.” He crooned, “And fuck, it is. And I wanna drown in it.”

Use me, Eden wanted to scream. Her body was frozen and Harry wouldn’t act on it without her consent, so with a small bump of his nose against her and a very uncomfortable stiffy in his running shorts, he increased the distance between them again.

Eden was grateful for the hand around her throat, Harry almost holding her up or she’d be a puddle on the floor.

“Come by tonight.” Harry gave her throat a gentle squeeze, making Eden softly gasp as her eyes fluttered. Her pussy clenched around nothing and she dryly swallowed, straightening up a bit. Harry let go of her throat and Eden took a breath, “I-I have a boyfriend.” She repeated.

Harry smirked, “Didn’t I tell you to bring him?”

***

“A threesome?” Jason frowned at Eden.

Eden stood in front of the couch with her hands on her hips. She had a towel around her form, having just gotten out of the shower after her run. She found Jason downstairs, scrolling on his phone as the coffee ran in the kitchen.

She exhaled and adjusted the towel around her chest, “It’s…” She sat down next to him, scooting close, “You don’t have to agree. You can say no.”

Jason didn’t respond right away, the frown staying on his forehead and Eden nibbled her lip, hair dripping down her shoulders, “He suggested it and told me to ask you. So… here I am. But I promise, if you’re not into it, you can say no. I won’t mind.”

Jason warily glanced at her, “And you won’t go fuck him behind my back?” He softly asked. Eden pressed her lips together and shook her head, “No. Promise.”

He dropped his head back into the couch, “I mean, I’ve done it before.” He mumbled and Eden scooted closer still, “So have I.”

“I just… I don’t know him? And he’s your ex.”

“Not my ex.” She slightly corrected him, finding it an important nuance that her and Harry were never boyfriend and girlfriend. Jason swallowed as he looked at Eden, “You know I’m not the jealous type, Eden. I-I’m not sure what the meaning is behind this.”

“I’m not trying to make you jealous.” She frowned, placing her hand on his thigh soothingly. Was that his worry? That he wouldn’t freak out when Harry was inside of her? Eden didn’t expect him to. She nibbled her lip again, “There’s not really a meaning behind this. Sex with Harry was really good and it’d just be that for the three of us - sex.”

Jason seemed lost in thought, “I mean, I’m open to it. I’ve never done it with one of the people involved being my partner.” He admitted, “It’s always been friends or strangers, makes it less… complicated.”

“I get that.” Eden nodded.

“I mean, you’re my girlfriend and he’s a guy I’ve spoken to only once. Not to mention he’s ten years older.”

Eden swallowed, “He’s not like… a predator or anything.”

“No, I know.” Jason mumbled before he locked eyes with Eden again, “So he basically wants to sleep with you, but since you’re taken… I’m the bonus?” He had a slightly joking hint to his tone and Eden’s lips curled up into a smile as she chuckled, “Basically, yeah.”

Jason shakily exhaled, shaking his head softly, “Don’t know how you all put us under your spell, E. Seriously.”

Eden’s chest fluttered when she felt Jason giving in. He flicked his eyes up to her again, “I’m not just an extra bonus for you, am I? I won’t just be there for shits and giggles?”

“No.” Eden immediately shook her head, “I promise.” She scooted even closer, “I like you so much, Jason. You’re so sweet.” Her hand cupped his jaw, much like Harry had done to her during their jog. Eden had no idea that going for a run in the morning would turn to this. An altercation with Harry, him basically making her cum with just a brush of his fingers over her skin, and her asking Jason if he’s down for a threesome.

“You’d both be there for me.” She whispered softly. Jason’s lip twitched up in a small grin, “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

Jason turned to face Eden, “So, what’s he like?” He curiously asked, “Like… I’m more of a sub, I think. Like you said, I’m sweet. A-And I think you know that I’m sweet in every sense of the word.” He murmured.

Eden shot him a small smile, “I’m sure Harry can dominate enough for the three of us.”

Jason shot her a faint smile and then nodded, “Okay. If you’re comfortable with the two of us, I am too.”

“Don’t just do it for me.” Eden exhaled and Jason chuckled, “I’m not. You know I’m open to that. We’re a couple, but we’re open with each other. I’m cool with it.”

Eden bit her lip and bashfully smiled, her skin heating at the thought. Harry, Jason and her. She hated how her thoughts immediately drifted to Harry. God, he could get her off with the flick of his thumb over her clit. She was reminded of that one time he did nothing but rub circles on her clit while whispering dirty Italian talk in her ear. She came so hard she almost passed out.

A shudder wrecked her body and Jason cocked up a brow, huffing out a chuckle, “I take it you’re cool with it too.”

“Yeah.” Eden giggled, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his lips, “And about not really knowing him… Harry invited us to spend the day around his pool.” She softly shrugged.

Jason raised his brows, “Really? That’s nice.”

“Hm.” Eden nodded, “So… I’d say we have breakfast and get ready, and then we can head over.” She shrugged softly. Jason smiled and nodded, squeezing her thigh, “Sounds good.”

Harry was in the house next door, pacing around his kitchen. The heads of Sadie and Lola followed his every move as he had his hands in his hair, wondering what the fuck he had just done. He wanted Eden so bad. So fucking pathetically bad that he’d willingly bring her boyfriend in the mix.

Harry was no stranger to a threesome or an adventurous night with a man. He had done it before, he was quite fluid in that department, but he had never done that with someone he had feelings for.

He just knew it’d be worth it, but he was being blinded by lust. And that lust was just the top layer, while there was so much more underneath that. An array of feelings for Eden. So strong and romantic his heart pulsed in his chest at the thought of her smile. 

Harry didn’t know what kind of guy Jason was. He was good-looking, obviously. And Eden said he was sweet. Too sweet for her, Harry thought. But that wasn’t his problem. Eden would very soon figure out that Jason was not what she wanted at all. But Harry just needed a chance to show her. If his feelings about Jason were correct, he’d agree to a threesome just to make Eden happy.

He followed her around, just like Eden followed Harry around. It pained him when she said that, because even though that was their dynamic at first, Harry could argue that Eden had way more power over him than the other way around. And he didn’t necessarily want this power either. Maybe in their sex life, it was a fun dynamic, but in real life, he wanted to be equals. Partners.

“Jesus.” Harry mumbled to himself when he realized how fucking whipped he sounded. But he was past that point. He was past fooling his brain that he was doing himself a favor by ghosting her. He craved her like a flower craving a drop of rain. And she was so close.

He wasn’t entirely surprised when the door rang about an hour later. Harry had been lounging around in swimming shorts and a linen shirt, bucket hat on his head to protect himself from the sun as the dogs were outside in the shade.

Opening the front door, he was met with Eden in a white, flowy dress and Jason standing behind her and sending him a slightly nervous smile.

“Hi.” Eden breathed, glancing at Jason over her shoulder, “We - uh… we’re here.”

“I can see that.” Harry chuckled, even if his heart beat overtime. He opened up the door wider, “Come on in.”

Eden strutted past him as Jason made a small stop, shaking Harry’s hand in a greeting, “Hey, man.”

“Hey, make yourself at home.” Harry nodded. Eden was right. Jason was kind. He could see it throughout the afternoon. Jason doted over Eden like no one else. They constantly laid whispering and giggling together while Harry observed. Whenever Eden took a dip in the pool, Jason came with her. He carried her around the water as she had her thighs locked around his hips and they exchanged kisses.

And Harry couldn’t remember why he thought this was a good idea. A raging pit of jealousy had nestled itself in his tummy as he watched the pair. His Eden. It had been another thing to hear her getting fucked, but it was another level of painful to see her be so romantic with someone that wasn’t him.

Eden insisted on making them a little lunch. Harry wasn’t worried when Eden claimed to know where everything in the kitchen was. Him and Jason stayed outside on the sunbeds as the crickets filled the silence and the sun was high up in the air.

“So…” Jason broke the silence and Harry softly opened his eyes that had dropped close, almost dozing off into a nap. He turned his head to see Jason, a small smirk on his lips, “So.” Harry mimicked.

Jason chuckled, “You and me and Eden, huh?”

“It appears so.” Harry nodded with a smirk. Jason exhaled a breath, “Are you comfortable with that?”

“I am.” Harry spoke without missing a beat, “Are you?”

“Yep.”

Harry pressed his lips together, just a small part of him wishing Jason would back out. “I mean, I think we’d both be there for Eden.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Jason agreed, “I’m not sure if we’re… you know.”

“Well, I for sure wouldn’t mind.” Harry wasn’t lying and Jason smirked back, “Neither would I.”

But then, Eden reappeared from inside. She wore a dark green two-piece and immediately, both men stared at her, no longer having any interest in one another. Eden felt stupidly gorgeous as they both gawked at her. She made it into a little show, putting the plates down while pressing her tits together and arching her back.

“No drooling.” She teased cheekily. Jason chuckled and Harry licked his lip, “You look delicious.”

“What?”

“The food.” He corrected himself with a smirk, “The food looks delicious. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Eden winked and Harry’s stomach did a flip. He despised himself.

The three of them ate and Eden then took another dip in the pool. When Harry glanced at Jason to see that he was not following her in, the two of them locked eyes. Jason gave him the smallest of nods and Harry swallowed, shrugging off his linen shirt before following Eden into the pool after silently receiving Jason’s permission.

Eden resurfaced after diving in, seeing Harry make his way down the steps. The breath got knocked out of her lungs at the sight of his chiseled, tattooed body. He was so gorgeous she felt her pussy clenching around nothing. Every inch of his body brought back memories.

His mouth, his fingers, his thighs. The fucking tiger tattoo. The butterfly that was covered in her arousal more times than she could count. His neck that used to be littered in hickeys. His hair that she loved to pull when he had his tongue between her thighs. 

Eden exhaled a shaky breath as Harry took a small dive and resurfaced, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead. His smirk made her want to moan and Eden stayed still in the shallow end, the water reaching below her breasts as Harry swam over to her.

“Think you need another layer of sunscreen.” He rasped, eyes drawn to her chest, “You’re looking a little burned.”

“Oh.” Eden glanced down too before nodding, “Yeah, maybe.”

Harry and her stared at one another for a bit, both aware of Jason’s eyes on them. Eden took a breath, “Thank you for letting us stay over today.”

“That’s fine. I love having you in my house.” Harry shrugged.

Eden nibbled her lip, “Harry… what today is, and what tonight will be… it doesn’t change anything, okay? It’s just sex.”

“Yeah.” He lied, “Just sex.”

Eden narrowed her eyes, “I mean it.”

Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Me too.” He swam closer to her, both in the shallow end of the pool now. His hands easily found her underneath the surface of the water and Eden choked on a breath when his hands were around her midsection to easily tug her into his body. 

She trembled, goosebumps rising over her skin. She hadn’t been touched by him in so long. Large hands easily knew their way around her form as Harry spun her around, her back pressed to his chest. Her hands found the edge of the pool as she stared into Jason’s eyes, Harry standing behind her.

His nose ran along her shoulder, “So tonight…” He murmured.

“Mhm.” Eden swallowed, “Tonight.”

She shuddered when Harry pressed a kiss so light to her shoulder she could’ve imagined it. Jason watched along as Harry pressed Eden a bit further into the side of the pool, dick hardening in his swimming shorts and pressing against her ass.

“How do you still like it?” Harry whispered.

Eden leaned back into him as she panted out, “L-Like I used to.”

“Yeah?” His voice dripped honey. His hands circled around her tummy and Eden arched as Harry kissed the side of her neck, “You still like it when I’m so deep inside you it almost hurts?”

“Shit.” Eden whimpered, leaning back further into him, head dropping down onto his shoulder. She kept her eyes locked with Jason’s, who watched the interaction. Harry glanced at him too, “Is he as big as me?”

“No.” She breathed. Harry hummed, “Shame. Does he get to fuck your ass?”

Eden swallowed, “Uh-huh.”

“Does he slap you? Bite you? Spank you? Choke you?” Harry’s one hand moved up to her throat and Eden’s eyes rolled back. His hips pushed against her ass, grinding his erection against her. This was a fucking dream, Harry thought. This couldn’t be real. 

Eden fought for a breath, “W-When I ask him to.”

“Shame again.” Harry whispered, “No need to worry, baby. I know just how you like it. Does he make you squirt?”

No. Eden wanted to say but she nibbled her lip, “Sometimes.”

“Ragazza dolce.” Harry murmured. It sounded sweet, but it had a condescending tone. He smirked against her skin, “Lying for him… you must really like him, hm?”

Eden sighed out, turning her head slightly. Harry pressed a kiss to her temple, “Missed you so fucking much. No one feels like you do.”

Her knuckles turned white as they gripped the edge of the pool, water sploshing around them. Harry’s lips feathered down the column of her throat and over her sunkissed shoulder, “Can’t want to be inside you tonight. Feel you cream and squirt all over me, fucking hell.” He rutted his hips forward tonight.

“Where do you want me tonight, hm?” Harry rasped, his hand released her throat as it slipped down her abdomen. Eden’s eyes shot open, her tummy clenching as his fingers found the waistband of her bikini bottoms underneath the water. Harry’s breathing puffed against her skin as he wanted to cup her cunt underneath the water, but Eden’s hand tightly clasped around his wrist before he could touch her.

She panted out and Harry chuckled into her skin, kissing below her ear, “What’s the matter? Don’t tell me he turned you into a good girl, hm?”

Eden couldn’t think straight as Harry peppered kisses on her skin, going back to holding onto her waist as he grinded into her ass, “Remember when I ate you out on the edge of the pool?” He mused.

Eden’s eyes fluttered as she felt his hard length pressing into her and Harry bit the lobe of her ear, “Eden.” He reprimanded, “Do you remember?���

“Yes.” She swallowed, “Yes, I remember.”

“Good. You were always such a sweet little slut for me. Letting me use you however I wanted. Just needed me to take care of you, hm?”

“Oh my god.” She whimpered. Harry wanted to pump his fists in the air. He had her in the palm of his hand. He cooed her condescendingly, “So easy to ruin you. So easy to use you. Just have to whisper in your ear and you’re almost begging to choke on my cock.”

One of Eden’s hands flew behind her, gripping onto the back of Harry’s neck. He groaned softly, flicking his eyes up to lock eyes with Jason, who was still looking. Eden rolled her ass back against Harry as she panted out, dry humping him.

Harry smirked, letting go of inhibitions as he slipped his fingers underneath the triangles covering Eden’s tits, cupping her chest and giving a squeeze. The perfect handful for him. Eden gasped and arched more, providing him pressure and Harry licked the hinge of her jaw. Every dirty memory entered his brain. He remembered it all, every second he spent with her. 

“Gonna fuck you so good tonight.” He promised, “Make you feel what you’ve been missing, hm? Such a whore for my cock.” 

“Harry…” Eden whimpered and Harry grunted, “Fuck.”

The shadow of Jason looming over them made Harry and Eden both open their eyes. Jason stared down at her, panting and gasping as Harry grinded into her ass from behind, her head lulled back, her eyes hazy, her mouth open. His lip twitched up in a smirk, matching Harry’s. Harry latched his lips onto Eden’s neck, tugging her back into the pool to allow Jason room to join them.

He was hard in his shorts, Harry could tell. Eden’s breaths shortened when she locked eyes with Jason, who pressed himself against her front. She was smushed between both men and Jason wasted no time in cupping her ass, tugging her hips into him as he kissed her. Harry kept up the grinding against her backside, watching as Eden’s tongue slipped out to lick into Jason’s mouth.

His jealousy raged throughout his entire body and Harry grabbed her throat again, harder this time until Eden choked on a breath. She broke the kiss with a moan, tugging Harry’s hair as he had one hand around her throat and the other on her breast. 

“Please.” Eden panted, “P-Please.” 

Jason chuckled, shortly locking eyes with Harry. Harry played with her nipple, squeezing her throat as Jason slipped his fingers into the front of her bikini bottoms. Eden squeaked when he touched her. Jason dipped his head, surprising Harry with a sudden kiss. Harry choked Eden harder, eyes fluttering as Jason kissed him while fingering Eden. Eden’s eyes watered when Jason tapped into her g-spot, finding her so slick after Harry worked her up all the way.

It only took about a minute for her to reach her peak, spasming in Harry’s arms. The kiss between Harry and Jason broke as Harry rutted his hips into Eden’s ass, feeling as she arched and shivered in the aftermath of her orgasm.

He wanted to laugh when Jason gently shushed her, slipping his fingers from her pussy. Harry wondered how many fingers he used, if he pushed Eden to the brink. If it were him, he would’ve edged her a few times and overstimulated her until she was crying. Eden blinked a few times as the waves of pleasure subsided.

Jason looked rather pleased with himself, Eden’s legs locked around his waist. His fingers gently pulled her bikini top back in place, one of Harry’s hands still cupping one of her breasts as he kept her pulled back by her throat.

Harry moaned, forcing Eden’s head to turn as he pressed his lips on hers.

Eden froze, immediately pulling back in shock. Harry chased her, pressing another small kiss to her plump bottom lip but Eden gasped and violently moved out of his grip. Jason seemed surprised at her rejection and Harry frowned, “W-” His hands slipped from Eden as she seemingly panicked, staring at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest. 

Jason flicked his eyes between the two in confusion and Harry stared at Eden, who stared at him in shock.

“Eden?” Harry checked and she straightened up, fixing her bikini as she shook her head, “I-I can’t do this.” She hurried out of the pool, leaving puddles of water behind her as she disappeared inside of the house, leaving both men in the pool.

***

Eden was pacing around Harry’s bedroom. She had no idea why this is the place she chose to have her panic attack, but somehow it comforted her. She saw the bed she spent most of the past summer in, curled around his body.

Her lips still tingled. Not from her orgasm, but from that fucking kiss. She hadn’t expected him to kiss her. Somehow it felt far more intimate than him grinding his dick against her skin or him touching her tits. It felt… delicate. Vulnerable. And it brought back feelings that Eden had tried to get over.

The warm air inside the house had caused her bikini to dry and Eden yanked one of Harry’s shirts out of his closet to put it on and cover herself up a bit. She had a lump in her throat. Eden softly dropped down on the duvet of Harry’s bed, rolling around on her side until her fingers felt the sheets. She was catapulted back to waking up in here with him snoring into her neck. It had all felt so domestic.

She sniffled once until she heard footsteps, and Eden straightened up. She had expected it to be Jason, but Harry appeared in the doorway. He also covered up with a shirt and his hair was drying curly after being in the pool.

He had a frown on his forehead, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Or did he?” He asked in a slight panic.

Eden wiped underneath her eyes and Harry’s heart cracked, taking in her broken state. Eden rolled her lips inside her mouth, almost to keep herself from breaking down further, “I’m okay.” She rasped.

“You don’t look okay.”

She almost huffed, sniffling, “I-I just don’t wanna go through with it anymore. I wanna go home.”

Harry nibbled his lip, leaning against the doorpost, “Are… Are you sure?” He checked.

Eden got up her feet, “Yeah.” She breathed, “Sorry, you don’t get to fuck me today.” Her voice took a bitter turn as she was ready to strut past him, but Harry grabbed her arm with a frown on his face, “You think that’s what this was about?”

“What else was it about?” Eden shrugged, her voice sounding scratchy. She shrugged her arm out of his grip, “You’re horny, said you’ve been missing me and the way we used to be. And what we used to be, were two people fucking around the clock. You’re not that hard to figure out, Harry. You just wanted to get in my pants.”

“I did miss you.” He exhaled, “For far more than sex. You have to know that.”

“How could I know that?!” Eden couldn’t stop herself as she angrily shoved against his shoulders. Even though Harry hardly budged, his brows raised in surprise when tears streamed down Eden’s cheeks, “You kissed me! You fucking kissed me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head, bottom lip wobbling, “You broke my heart.” Her voice cracked and Harry’s stomach dropped. Eden shuddered a bit, shoulders dropping as she stood wobbly in his familiar bedroom, “You ghosted me.” She muttered, “Do you have any idea how painful that was? A-And now you just… you wanna pretend nothing ever happened?”

“You agreed.” Harry’s tone was soft and Eden huffed, “Yes, because I thought I was over you.”

Harry licked his lip, “Are you not?” He took a step closer to Eden and she took one back as she sniffled, “Well, I’m crying in your bedroom, wearing your shirt after you kissed me. So no, I’m not. Which is very fucking painful considering you’ve been over me this entire time.”

“I’m not over you.” Harry frowned, “Not by a fucking long shot. I-I’ve been thinking of you all year. I didn’t expect you to show up with a boyfriend. That broke my heart.”

“You broke me first.” She bitterly spoke, “I don’t believe a word you say. You didn’t make any effort into making the long distance thing work.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair, “I thought I was doing you a favor.”

Eden stared at him and Harry casted his eyes down, “Honestly.” He murmured, “I-I didn’t want you to be hung up on me. I felt like we had no future, that we had nothing in common. You wouldn’t move here, I wouldn’t move there… I’m so much older than you. It was a summer thing a-and I felt like I had to let you go.”

He perhaps thought his words would soften Eden up, but if anything her face just darkened. He hadn’t expected the second shove against his chest, stumbling back one step this time.

“You coward.” Eden scoffed as more tears leaked from her eyes. Harry pressed his lips together and Eden shook her head in disbelief, “Y-You don’t get to just decide that for me. I don’t need you to do me any fucking favors. And besides, ghosting me was best for me?! Didn’t even have the fucking decency to have a conversation. I’m a human with feelings and I deserved more. Just because you’re a fucking child doesn’t mean you can treat me like I am too.”

“Hey.” Harry frowned and Eden raised her brows, “What? Anything to say? Seriously, that’s the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard. Doing me a favor? You hurt me! I asked you time and time again to visit me in London, you always declined. And not once did you ask me to visit you here.”

Harry frowned deeper, “I-I’m - I mean, you could’ve just come over!”

“And show up unannounced?” Eden challenged. She pointed her finger at him sharply, “You single-handedly decided to end something that involved the two of us. I had no say.”

Harry stared at the floor again, her words of pain seeping into his bones. And he knew she was right. He closed his eyes for a brief second, “You’re right. And I’m sorry. I-I went about it the wrong way, but please know that I cared about you so much. I had just as many feelings as you did. We fooled ourselves into thinking it was a summer-thing.”

Eden crossed her arms in front of her chest as she lowered her gaze. It was silent between them. The amount of information Eden just received, confused her greatly. For all these months, she’d had no answers. And now she did, and it somehow didn’t feel half as satisfying as she hoped it would.

“Why did you suggest this threesome?” Eden softly asked.

Harry moved around, sitting down on the edge of the bed eventually. His fingers fiddled together, “Because I wanted to be close to you. I know you’re devoted to him. And you’re right, he is nice. I still don’t think he’s what you need, but he’s nice, like he’s a good guy.” Harry sincerely spoke, “I just missed you so much, and I craved you. Physically, yes, but also more than that. Just… spending time with you. Making you smile.” He stupidly shrugged before sighing out again, “I felt like it was the only way. I told myself it’d hurt me less to see you with him, than to not see you at all.”

Eden stared at him in disbelief and Harry licked his top lip, “Which wasn’t true. I’m so fucking jealous and he’s so lucky, Eden. And I promise I’ll leave you alone from now on if he makes you happy. I let you go.”

“You did.”

Harry swallowed, “I know.”

Eden weighed her words before flicking her eyes up, “I expected more from you.” She softly spoke, the lump in her throat very present. Harry’s shoulders dropped a tad at her words and Eden wiped underneath her eye again, “Doing anything long-distance requires work and effort, Harry. Just because we didn’t see each other every single day and we had responsibilities, didn’t mean I didn’t still have feelings for you. It… It felt like a break-up.”

Harry felt the pressure behind his eyes and dared flicking his eyes up to Eden, forcing his lips to stop wobbling, “I was in love with you.”

“Stop.” She whispered and he shook his head, chuckling bitterly, “No, really. Like I tried to stop it. But I felt so empty when you left, like nothing made sense anymore. I looked for you in everyone, told myself it’d get better. But it didn’t. I’ve been fucking miserable.” He reached for his phone, “Here.” He turned his screen, “See how whipped you’ve gotten me?”

Eden frowned as she took his phone, seeing the open tab on his internet-app which showed apartments in London. Her throat ran dry, “What is this?”

“Was looking to buy a place in London.” He mumbled, “So I could be close to you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.” Harry popped the ‘p’. “It’s quite pathetic.”

Eden stared at him, “I-I don’t know what to say.” She rasped.

Harry was even too embarrassed to look at her. They stood in silence for a bit until Eden turned around and walked off. Harry’s shoulders lowered as he let out a shaky breath, “Shit.” He cursed in defeat, dropping back down on his bed.

By the time he found the courage to get up, he glanced out his window to see Eden’s house quiet and unlit. He felt a punch to his stomach when he noticed the car being gone.

It was dark by the time he was alerted by headlights and the sound of tires on the gravel road. Sadie and Lola lifted their heads too, tails wagging as Harry peeled himself off of the leather couch. He had been sitting in silence this time, brooding. Heartbroken. It felt truly done with Eden now and it was like his heartbreak came around in full force at the realization. He had cried, he had showered, he had cleaned up outside after having Jason and Eden over.

He didn’t know when Jason left. All he knew was when Eden left them both in the pool, both of them decided to give her some time first. They had sat outside in silence until Harry announced that he was going to look for her. Jason didn’t stop him.

Harry was on his way to look out the window and see if maybe Eden and Jason had returned, but stopped when the bell rang.

He hurried to the front door, breathless once he opened it up. Eden stood in front of him, almost as nervous as she had been over a week prior when he saw her again after all this time.

“Hey.” Harry rasped.

Eden exhaled a shaky breath, “I - uh… I drove Jason to the airport. We broke up.”

Harry’s brows raised, “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Eden nibbled her lip, hesitation flashing over her features, “Can I… I mean, have you had dinner? I-I’m starving and I was wondering if… if maybe you wanted to eat together.”

Harry could hardly believe what he was hearing. He cleared his throat, legs wobbling a bit, “Y-Yeah, sure. Uh - here? I have stuff in the fridge. We can whip something up.”

Eden carefully entered the house, not as confidently as she did at other times. Harry watched her like a hawk and when Eden had greeted the dogs and they were in the kitchen together, he could no longer keep it in, “What happened?”

Eden didn’t seem very surprised at his question, “We… We talked. I came home, he was already there. I told him what happened, what we talked about.” She popped herself up on the counter as she took a breath, and Harry leaned against the fridge opposite her.

“He said he figured it out.” She shrugged, “That there was still something going on between us. He… He wished me well, we hugged goodbye.” It hurt her to say it. Jason was just so nice. And she treated him so poorly. Even Harry felt for him, but he hadn’t really expected any less. Jason basically worshiped Eden. He just wanted her to be happy, much like Harry.

“I had to tell him, it just wasn’t fair. Wasn’t fair to be with him when I’m not over you.” She murmured. 

Harry’s chest warmed but he hardly dared to be hopeful. He swallowed, “I’m not over you either.”

Eden watched the swing in her legs, her thoughts clouded. She glanced up at him, “Do you mean that?” 

Harry nodded before her question was even out, “Yes, completely. And I know I was an asshole about it, there’s no excuse. But I wanna be better.” He licked his lip, “Seeing you again… it brought everything back. And I don’t wanna let you go a second time.”

Eden’s stomach clenched, “Y-You don’t?”

“I don’t.” He repeated, flicking up his gaze, “And if you still want me… I wanna prove it to you.”

Eden felt only a bit stupid. Was she falling for his games again? Was this entire thing doomed? Was it all just words with no action?

Harry could see the wheels in her head spinning and approached her, placing his hands on the countertop next to her thighs, “Eden,” He breathed, “I’m serious. Honestly. You’re like…” He swallowed thickly, “my favorite person. I missed you so fucking much.”

Her skin grew hot as Eden blinked at him, in disbelief of his words. He was so close. Harry’s eyes widened in surprise when Eden gently leaned in, their lips just brushing together. Her eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch, thighs tensing as the air between them grew hot and thick.

Harry relaxed, leaning into Eden further as the kiss deepened. Her fingers found the sides of his button-up, tugging him into her further as she tilted her head to the side to allow him more access. Harry groaned from the back of his throat, cupping Eden’s cheeks. Her knees parted for him and a shudder ran down Harry’s spine when her tongue softly flicked against his bottom lip.

“Shit.” He moaned, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones, “Yeah?” He nodded the question, flicking his eyes between both of hers, as if asking for confirmation that they were really doing this. That they were really giving it a shot, seriously this time.

Eden bit her lip and nodded, “Yes.” 

Harry crashed their lips together, all inhibitions gone. Sadie and Lola curiously watched them from the couch as they made out. It was all tongues and whimpers and teeth as Eden pulled him so close it almost hurt. Harry easily picked her up, and it was like a déjà-vu when he blindly carried Eden up the stairs. They had done this so many times. 

Her kisses grew hungrier, hands tangled in his brown locks as Harry kicked the bedroom door shut and they both dropped on the bed. Eden hastily ripped Harry’s shirt off of his shoulders, tanned skin bulged around his muscles as he held himself up and Eden stroked her fingers over his biceps, taking him in.

Emotion flashed through Harry’s eyes as he laid between Eden’s parted thighs and they resumed their heavy kissing. He licked into her mouth, the plush of her lips brushing against his as he claimed her again. Eden kicked off her shoes and raked her blunt nails down his back, making him arch into her. 

Eden locked her leg around his hip, flipping them over and Harry gladly let her. His back met the sheets as she scooted up on his lap, sitting on top of him. She yanked off the top she was wearing, revealing the dark green bikini underneath.

Harry’s eyes dropped to her chest, his fingers playing over her ribs and up to the triangles covering her up. He brushed his thumbs over where he knew her nipples were and reached his hand around her back, tugging on the knot to get the bikini off. 

Harry could hardly contain himself when Eden sat topless on top of him, gently rocking her hips into his hard cock while catching her breath. She leaned down to kiss his muscular chest, her hands exploring him as she scooted herself down.

Harry’s eyes fluttered as he stared up at the ceiling, preparing himself to feel her lips and attempt to not cum down her throat. Eden gave the best blowjobs he had ever received. She was so filthy with it, not a care in the world as spit dribbled down her chin and she always allowed him to fuck her throat.

She could take him so deep he’d feel her nose against his tummy and she allowed him to cut off her airway until she was on the brink of passing out. Eden loved the pain. Her mouth watered when she sunk down the edge of the bed, Harry’s legs dangling over it. Eden hastily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before tugging down Harry’s shorts. He panted out, “A-Are you sure?” Please say yes.

“Yes.” Eden confirmed, “Wanna taste you.”

Harry lazily smirked, humming as Eden’s hands closed around his throbbing cock. She used both to stroke him, and he didn’t have to look at her to know she had a sick grin on her face at the precum blurting at his tip. He was hard as a rock, pulsing against her palm. Eden took her time in studying him, realizing he was just as she remembered. Just as big, thick and veiny as she remembered.

“I missed your dick so much.” She admitted, “So, so much.”

“Take it.” Harry rasped, and Eden did. Her lips folded around his tip to give a hard suck that nearly had him coming right there. “Fuck.” He gasped, nails digging into the sheets as Eden hummed at his taste.

She was impatient, sinking her mouth down on him and enveloping him while her tongue flicked in every direction. She held him in her throat, willing away her gags as her hand pumped the part she couldn’t fit just yet. She hummed, clenching her thighs together. Eden loved giving head. Especially to Harry.

“Fuck, così buono, così buono.” Harry breathlessly moaned, “Dio mio.”

Eden moaned around him at his Italian cursing and her hand played with his balls as she bobbed up and down. Harry saw stars behind his closed eyelids, jaw dropping with strangled groans. He hadn’t been stimulated like this in so fucking long. No one was her.

His eyes rolled back when Eden suckled his tip again, and Harry’s hips bucked up as his toes curled. She knew just how to work him. “S-Shit - Eden…” He lowly groaned. Eden took a hold of his ankles, urging Harry to put his feet up on the bed as she stayed kneeled.

His heart violently hammered at what he thought she was about to do. And when Eden popped off and angled his cock up, Harry felt like he was in fucking heaven, “Baby,” He whimpered, “oh my god - please… p-please.” He begged pathetically and Eden hummed, “It’s okay.” Her voice sounded hoarse from the blowjob and she kissed the back of his thigh before working her tongue between his cheeks.

Harry threw his head back as he gripped his solid cock, stroking himself. Eden used her free hands to spread him and give herself more space to eat him out. Her tongue lapped over his rim, relaxing him. 

“Y-You’re perfect.” Harry squeaked, pinching his eyes shut at the heavenly stimulation. Only Eden did this for him. 

When Eden felt like Harry was close to his edge, she retrieved her touches, licking around her mouth for the excess saliva as he caught his breath. Eden wobbled on her legs when she hastily pulled down the skirt she wore, bikini bottoms webbing to her pussy due to her wetness. 

She was fully naked, jumping back on the bed with Harry who immediately rolled them on their sides. It was all quick and hasty as their tongues tangled and he grabbed her thigh, rolling on top of her with her legs locked around his hips. 

“Can I?” He panted breahtlessly, “Please? Fuck - baby, I need to be inside you.”

“Uh-huh.” Eden moaned, “I’m s-so ready.”

“Haven’t prepped you.” Harry kissed her jaw and Eden felt nearly delirious with need, “No need.” She breathed, “J-Just fuck me.”

Harry didn’t let her off that easy though. He hummed softly into her neck, planting gentle kisses over her skin as his hand moved between her legs. A low moan bubbled up his throat when he felt how wet she was. The mound of her pussy, the apex of her thighs, covered in her slick arousal. Her clit pulsed and Eden tried to keep the tears away, feeling so overwhelmed and sensitive.

Harry raised his head and let one of his hands slip behind her neck to hold her up a bit, “Want you to look at me,” He breathed, “when I slip inside you.”

Eden managed to nod, holding her breath. Harry pumped himself once, “Condom?” He briefly asked. He knew him and Eden never used one in the past. Eden was infertile and they only slept with one another.

She swallowed at his question, “Y-You can choose.” She rasped, “I always used one with him. We never did it bare. I’m clean.” Her words surprised him. She never did it bare with Jason? Eden had no chance of a pregnancy, so Harry wondered if she never really had that connection to Jason as she did with him.

But her letting him choose was also sort of the ultimate challenge for Harry. It was almost asking him if he was really serious about this, if they were really gonna go there. Harry quickly kissed her, “Okay. No condom.”

Eden smiled lightly, “No condom.” She whispered. The smile was quickly wiped off her face when Harry dragged the tip of his cock through her sodden folds.

Eden’s lips parted desperately as she exhaled in a shaky breath, “Yes,” She squeaked, “oh god - please.”

“Yeah?” Harry cooed, “Y’need me? Open your legs.”

Eden tried to split her thighs wider and Harry shot her a stern look, “Wider.”

She whined softly, allowing him more space. It was hard to think when Harry’s cockhead continued to brush into her pearled clit. Eden felt like she was about to fucking explode.

“That’s it.” Harry praised, “That’s so good. There we go. My little slut with her legs wide open for me, hm? La mia sporca puttana.”

Eden sputtered out a high-pitched moan when Harry’s tip popped between her walls. She was so hot and creamy, welcoming him greedily as he inched forward to fill her pussy. Eden clenched her jaw in pure satisfaction, eyes rolling back and a moan stuck in her throat.

Harry couldn’t help but smirk at her ruined state, but his breathing turned shorter too the closer he got to filling her to the hilt. He grunted when his thighs touched hers, nestled so fucking deep inside her as her walls clamped around him.

Eden forgot what it felt like to feel so… full. In the best way. So full and fulfilled. Her hands locked around his shoulders in a death-grip as she puffed out sharp breaths, blinking a few times to remind herself where she was.

Harry reared back halfway before sinking back in and Eden gasped, “Oh - Harry.”

“Fuck, I know.” His voice sounded shaky, breathing against Eden’s lips, “I know, baby… Feels so good. So good.”

“Uh-huh.” Eden whimpered, “M-Missed you like this.”

He pressed a kiss to her chin, “Me too, baby. Me too. I missed you so much.” He sharply thrusted, tip of his dick stroking right against Eden’s g-spot. She gasped shakily at the feeling, a tear leaking down her temple, “Shit - you’re gonna make me cum so fast.”

Harry smirked, “Yeah?” He thrusted again, gently squeezing the nape of her neck, “Are you gonna get wet all over me?”

Eden desperately clawed at his shoulders, “Y-Yes.” She whispered, “Oh my god, fuck.” 

Harry dropped his head in the crook of her neck, speeding up a bit. With Eden’s thighs around his hips, he took her in deep missionary. The bed rocked, their moans filling the room as Eden’s orgasm surprised her completely. She cried out, spasming underneath Harry’s body but he didn’t let up, sharply slapping the outside of her thigh as he only screwed into her harder to get her further gone.

Eden mewled, on the brink of pain and pleasure as always with Harry. He was so big, stretching her so wide. But he knew her limits almost better than she knew them herself. Eden would never stop begging for more even if she couldn’t handle it. Harry momentarily pulled out to stave off his own orgasm, allowing Eden time to come down as he kissed his way down her body.

Her thighs trembled, her pussy wet and puffy as he used his thumbs to spread her folds and anchored her legs over his shoulders to eat her out. Eden grabbed the pillow so hard she worried she’d break her nails as she arched and gasped, the feeling of Harry’s tongue on her simply unmatched.

“Yes…” She slurred, “Oh fuck, yes.” She bucked her hips back into him, Harry’s tongue sinfully slipping in and out of her before locking around her clit to give quick, sharp sucks until Eden near shoved his head away in overstimulation. 

“Can you take more?” Harry wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he crawled back over her, dick rock hard still. Eden blinked at him as she swallowed, nodding, “Mhm. Use me. Use me - please.”

It sounded like music to Harry’s ears. He growled from the back of his throat, tossing Eden around until she was on top of him. Not that she needed to get any ideas - Harry was in charge. He positioned her how he saw fit, splitting her thighs around his hips as he forced her to hold her hands behind her back and his free hand held her up by the chin.

“Look at you…” He crooned, gathering spit behind his teeth before giving Eden a warning look. Her eyes fluttered as she let out a pathetic whimper, lips opening no further than an inch as Harry spat in her mouth, part of his saliva dripping down her lips. 

“Dirty slut.” He whispered, using his thumb to spread his spit around before slapping her cheek. Eden moaned at the sting, shuddering on top of him as she desperately tried to get him inside of her again. Eden’s cheek turned red and Harry felt more turned on than he could ever remember to be. 

Harry grinded up against Eden’s wet pussy, smirking at the way her eyes rolled back at the small stimulation. She looked so ruined, but he loved it. And it was proof of how much she trusted him.

“You want my cock?” Harry crooned, “So desperate for it, aren’t you? You’d just let me do anything…” He gave her wrists a warning squeeze to hold them together without his help and Eden did so as his hand travelled lower on her back. He gave one of her ass cheeks a sharp slap and she gasped, grinding back against him. Harry moaned softly, “You’d let me do anything, such a good cumslut, hm? Just want to be filled.”

“Yes.” Eden croaked out shakily and her eyes closed when Harry’s fingers brushed over her rim. Eden keened, arching into him. They had done anal in the past and Eden absolutely loved it. The stretch felt unmatched and it could just get her so far gone. She loved the daze that came with it.

“Want me to fuck you here?” Harry whispered, heart pounding at the thought of slipping inside Eden’s tightest entrance. She mewled as he put pressure on the tight ring of muscles, teasing to push in a finger. Eden managed to nod, “Y-Yes.”

The thought aroused Harry, his dick twitching, “Later, hm?  Wanna fill up your cunt first. Bet your little pussy missed my cum.” He messily kissed her, licking over her lip before he slapped her ass again, urging Eden to lift up so she could sink down on him. 

“Wanna watch it drip.” Harry’s brain spun as he murmured all his filthy thoughts to Eden, who whimpered when she heard him. Her shoulders tensed as he took all control even with Eden on top of him. Harry immobilized her, holding a hand on her ass with a firm grip to have her move up and down on his cock.

He licked up the side of Eden’s neck, “And lick it back up. Y’look so pretty when you’re all creamy for me, baby.”

Eden lulled out a moan as she squirted, making Harry’s eyes pinch shut at the feeling of her gushing over him. “Fuck.” He exhaled, “Hm, just like that.” He continued thrusting up in a lazy pace, “There’s my good girl… Getting me all wet because I’m fucking you too good.”

It all felt like one big orgasm to Eden. Harry’s cock was made for her, filling her up so perfectly. He knew just how to handle her. His slaps were well-timed to keep her on the brink of pain, which only intensified the pleasure. His dirty talk was unmatched, his choking and spitting was just the right amount to turn Eden insane. She had never been this aroused in her life and she couldn’t believe she had been missing this for a year. No one ever came close to how well Harry knew her body like the back of his hand.

“Never gonna let you leave again.” Harry slurred as his orgasm neared, feeling Eden clench around his cock as he whispered the message in her ear. She was hunched over him, panting into his neck as he held her on top of him, fucking up into her wet pussy.

He slapped her ass again before his hand grabbed her chin, forcing her to kiss him, “Promise me you’ll stay.” He moaned.

Eden could hardly hear him, her body convulsing in so much pleasure. Harry spat in her open mind and gave her cheek another slap, something Eden greatly welcomed. Tears streamed down her face in pure delight when Harry manhandled her like this. “I promise.” She whimpered.

It was all Harry really needed to hear to fill her up. His hips jerked, his teeth sinking down into his bottom lip. Eden always loved listening to him when he was turned on. He moaned a melody of her name mixed with Italian curse words, grabbing her body so tightly he could break a few of her bones if he wanted. She let him, cock jolting up inside of her as he sharply thrusted with each spurt of come leaving him and painting her insides. 

It was primal, dirty and not even nearly enough. But it was for now.

Harry doted over her afterwards, Eden too out of it to really say much. He cared for her, cuddled her and kissed her as he massaged her sore shoulders and rubbed lotion over any scratch or bite marks he left behind. Eden laid curled up in his fluffy sheets as Harry gently cleaned them both up.

Eden didn’t say anything as she curled into his body, exhaling a comforted sigh when Harry wrapped her up. Her voice came back about thirty minutes later, once she had taken a little nap.

“Wow.” She whispered.

Harry chuckled, playing with her hair as he stared up at the ceiling. Eden’s head rested on his shoulder and he turned his head to kiss her forehead, “Hm, you’re back.”

“I am.” Eden yawned, “Jesus…” She stretched out her sore legs, “that was intense.”

“How do you feel?” Harry checked, cuddling her a bit closer for warmth. Eden kept her eyes closed, “Good. ‘M thirsty and hungry.”

The night was still young, and it proved to be so when round two happened in the kitchen. As they had some focaccia in the oven, Harry bent her over the countertop. With the dogs outside for the evening freshness, Harry fucked her. It was softer but she came twice more, the position so good for Eden as she arched out her back and pressed her chest into the cold countertop. 

Round three was in the shower afterwards, when Eden lowered herself to her knees to suck him off again. Her body was too tired and sore for more, but she was desperate to have Harry coming again. And he did, filling up her mouth and most of his release painted over her face. 

Eden overstimulated him, her fingers disappearing between his ass cheeks as she took him all the way in her throat in aftercare. Tears leaked down Harry’s face as he lost his balance in the shower, every muscle in his body shivering and trembling. It always turned him a bit emotional to realize how much pleasure Eden wanted him to have. Pushing her own discomfort aside to have him coming as hard as possible.

They cuddled in bed after that, and Eden couldn’t keep her eyes off of him as Harry fought his own body - refusing to go to sleep. His eyes constantly turned droopy but he forced himself to stay awake.

And when Harry jolted awake the next morning to a cold bed, he was immediately panicked.

Did Eden regret it? Did she sneak off? Was she gone? Did he dream it all?

Her bikini on the bedroom floor proved that it had all happened, and Harry jumped in a pair of boxers as he ran downstairs. 

“Shit.” He breathed, clutching his own chest when he stood in the kitchen, overlooking his garden. Eden was in a pair of his boxers and a button-up, holding a fresh cup of coffee as she played with the dogs. Sadie and Lola excitedly circled around her legs and fetched her the ball Eden continued to throw. He could hear her giggle all the way inside.

Harry felt ten years younger, watching Eden. She brightened up his life so much. His feet carried him out in the warm morning, grass crispy from the heat underneath his feet.

“Good morning.” Harry whispered, standing behind Eden and wrapping his arms around her from behind. She smiled when looking over her shoulder, and they met in a sideways kiss, “Good morning.” She smiled.

Harry gave her body a squeeze as he nuzzled his nose below her ear, “Thought you snuck off on me.”

“Really?” Eden teased, turning around in his grip. Harry grabbed her ass, pulling her up a bit to kiss her decently as he hummed, “Yeah. Got me scared.”

Eden ran a hand through his hair, hearts in her eyes when she stared at him, “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except back to the UK next week.” Harry murmured. Eden’s smile dropped a bit. Harry took the coffee from her hand to have a sip himself before he cleared his throat, “Hey - I should really look for a house rather than an apartment, shouldn’t I?” He mused out loud, “I kind of hadn’t thought of the dogs. But they’d hate being locked up all day. I definitely need a garden.”

Eden’s heartbeat quickened as she nibbled her lip, “Like… What do you mean?” She carefully asked.

“In London.” Harry pecked her top lip, “For when I move there.”

Eden exhaled a sharp breath, staring at him in wonder, “You were serious about that?” She softly asked.

Harry gave her ass a squeeze, “Of course.” He finished up her coffee and put it down on the windowsill behind him, “I’m serious about you. About us. I can sell this place easily. Maybe look for a little vacation home somewhere else. Somewhere… not next to your dad and Colleen.” He joked.

“But… But you love this house.” Eden murmured.

Harry shot her a grin, making her slightly yelp as he picked her up underneath her thighs, “I love you. Fuck the house. I can buy another one. Doesn’t matter where I am as long as I’m with you.” The romantic words felt foreign to Harry, but they came naturally. He had never been this infatuated with another person before. No one could ever make him move in the past.

Eden giggled in disbelief, “You…” She stared down at him before leaning in and taking Harry in a deep kiss. He moaned into her mouth and Eden panted out, nuzzling her nose with him, “I-I love you too, but I want you to think about this.”

“I don’t have to.” Harry shook his head, slowly carrying Eden back inside as he continued carrying her, “The last year of my life has been so fucking lonely, Eden. Like I said, I don’t care where I am as long as I’m with you.”

Eden’s body erupted with butterflies and her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. Last night had felt like a fever dream. Her legs still felt sore from the amount of orgasms Harry pulled from her body, but it was so much more than that. It was never just sex.

“London’s quite cold.” She breathed teasingly and Harry smirked, squeezing her thighs, “I suppose you’ll have to keep me warm.”

//

THE END OFFICIALLY

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

CALL ME CAT, chapter sixteen

Summer 2018

The only thing worse than being hungover was having to face all of them the next morning. I didn’t remember much between quitting and climbing onto the bus, Jules draped a blanket over me and suddenly the sun was rising. 

Now I sat in a hotel room somewhere, squinting at the beams of light through the window and reaching out for a cup of coffee that Leah handed over. 

“Thanks,” I said, my voice quiet. 

She was silent for a moment, watched me take a sip before she spoke. “Do you really want out?”

I thought about it for a second. Somehow, the entire time the band gained traction and our careers got bigger and better, my life seemed to spiral out of control and I became more of a mess than I thought humanly possible. So I nodded.

The door pushed open, Ian was in the same clothes from the night before, bags under his eyes let me know that I’d created a hellish task for him. Ask about paperwork, call the right people, figure out what the hell was going on. 

“Hi,” he said, hands in his pockets, a quick sigh before he made eye contact. “How do you feel?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh, unsure if he was asking to be nice or to rub it in my face that I had been a drunk mess for the umpteenth time. 

“Like shit, Ian.”

“Right,” he nodded. “Well, I need to know if you’re actually leaving or if that was just you being drunk and upset. Either way we need to have a whole meeting this morning about what went on and what we do moving forward. Last night was not okay.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, unprepared for his directness. “I meant it,” I told him. 

A pause, almost like he didn’t really think it would happen. “Uh, okay,” he looked around the room and pulled out his phone. “I have to call people then. Can I ask you a question, first?”

Hands around the coffee cup, I said: “Shoot.”

“Is this about Harry?”

“No,” I shook my head. “It’s about me.”

It was partially about Harry. I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t stand the constant tug of war or the impossible task of trying to understand him. I figured it was best to not try at all. 

The door pushed open again, Niall was on the other side, his lips parted when he saw me. “Already signing shit?”

“Niall,” Ian sighed, hoping to not let things get as rowdy as they did the night before. His voice was tired and the way he said Niall’s name told me that a confrontation was the last thing he needed right now.

“Already dissolving everything we worked for?”

“What’s happening?” Miles popped up behind him, then Harry and Jules.

More nervous squirming on my end. Ian hadn’t mentioned the meeting would be now. 

“Nothing is happening, we’re talking,” Ian said when he turned to face them. “And since you’re all here, I guess you can come in.”

They filed in, quiet and angry and unsure what was happening. I tried to focus my gaze on the lid of my latte. Steam had gathered underneath, tiny bubbles of heat were trapped inside--like I was trapped in this room. They sat on a sofa and Jules took to the floor, eyes avoiding mine when I finally had the courage to look up. 

“Do you want to tell them?” Ian turned to me. 

I shook my head, sipped my coffee again and wished I could sink into the chair. Could they blame me? Did any of them think that this was good for any of us?

“Cat is looking to leave the band,” Ian nodded. “I have to call people and figure out what type of paperwork needs to happen. I’ll have things to sign for all of you--I’m going to have to talk to the label’s lawyer first, though.”

“So that’s just it?” Niall asked again, his eyes pointed at me with a furious stare. “You’re a liar and a quitter?”

“Niall I don’t think you really understand,” I told him, anger rising in my voice. “But if you’d like to make a lot of assumptions, by all means, go ahead.”

“S’my only choice, right? Since you’ve been lying.”

“You guys need to figure out what you���re doing from here. Are you interested in staying in the band?” Ian tried to break up the tension, held a hand in my direction to quiet me.

“Without Cat?” Miles asked, a wrinkle in his forehead when he made eye contact with me. “With no lead singer?”

“Just the four of us?” Jules pulled her legs up to her chest, her voice was quiet and high pitched. 

“Yeah, I mean, the four of you can continue on.”

“I don’t know,” Niall let out a breath. “I’m too pissed off to figure out what the fuck we should do.”

“Right,” Ian nodded. “Think about it. But we need to cancel the show tonight, and tomorrow, really. Before we figure out what the next step is.”

Niall looked up at me and shook his head, a sarcastic laugh before he said: “Great, cancel them.”

**

The swampy landscape of Florida passed by my window, the white lines on the edge of the street blurred as we neared my parents’ house. Heart in my throat when I knocked on the door, the only thing more embarrassing than hiding out in Florida while headlines blew over was realizing I didn’t have a key to my childhood home. 

Marta smiled when she tugged the door open, wrapped her arms around me and didn’t say anything, she didn’t need to. 

But my mother did. She appeared around the corner, glasses perched on her nose and expecting eyes that grazed over my figure. “You look tired.”

I held back an unsurprised laugh. “I am,” I admitted. “It’s been a busy few days.”

“Quitting your band and coming home doesn’t sound busy.”

“Well, it was a lot of paperwork.”

Marta tried to ease the tension. “Do you want a snack? A drink?”

“I’m fine,” I told her, a reassuring nod before I looked back at my mom. “Thanks for letting me come home.”

“Well…” she made a disapproving sound with her tongue, a shrug of her shoulders as if she always knew the band was destined for failure. “What happened?”

I tilted my head and looked at her for a second. She couldn’t really care--her question was more likely a nosy way to put the puzzle pieces together. I wasn’t stupid enough to think her book club wasn’t asking questions. 

“I think I have a drinking problem.”

Her eyes went wide for a second, but she regained her composure in a quick beat. I kept talking before she could say anything. 

“And I think you do too, to be honest, but, that’s really none of my business.” I shrugged my shoulders and picked up my suitcase, turned on my feet to head for the stairs. 

“Catherine,” her voice was frantic. “Did you just say you think I have a drinking problem?”

“Yep,” I said over my shoulder. She was now a few steps behind me, heels clicking on the marble floors. 

“That’s absurd, you’re absolutely out of your mind.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, lips parted when I turned around to cut her off. 

“Maybe I am, mom. Maybe I’m completely fucking neurotic at this point because of you.”

“Me? What are you talking about? How could I possibly have anything to do with your--band mess?”

“Because while you were too busy pouring glass after glass of Chardonnay, I was upstairs having panic attacks and nightmares and developing PTSD. But you didn’t give a fuck.”

She let out a short noise, maybe one of shock or even frustration. “I was grieving, Catherine.”

“Me too, but I guess this house wasn’t big enough for the both of us.”

She didn’t reply, her eyes blinked a few times in a robotic way before I lugged my suitcase up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut. 

My phone was buzzing every few minutes--messages, DMs, people contacting me in every way to figure out what went wrong and where I was. 

But none of my friends. Niall and Jules had no clue where I was. I boarded a plane the night I signed paperwork, only 23 hours after I told them I was out. Landed first in New York to meet with my lawyer, then one with label people to finalize an arrangement. They were free to go on without me if they chose. 

Went back to my apartment, poured out the bottles of Tequila and Champagne that had been a mainstay. Threw some clothes in a suitcase and took a car to JFK. Now, here I was, standing in my childhood bedroom with open balcony doors that let in a nice breeze. 

Whether or not I felt good about how it came out, the fact that everyone knew was a relief. I didn’t have to shrink away from pictures of Cameron in the bathroom or ignore the memories that still floated to my mind every once in a while. It still hurt, but now that the hurt was out in the open, it could finally breathe. 

When I sat on the balcony that night and looked out to the Lagoon, a buzzing from my phone beside me lasted longer than I expected. One, then two, then three. A phone call. 

From Lila. 

I stared at the screen for a minute, momentarily convincing myself that it was a butt dial, a mistake. Maybe she hadn’t heard what happened. 

But then I answered and I didn’t expect her to be so nice. 

“Cat! Hi! I was just calling to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m alright,” I said it with a nod, unsure if the words were true or just my automatic answer. “I’m in Florida--at my parents.”

“I figured,” she sighed. “I would need a minute away too.”

“Lila--you’re not mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well, I quit the band and I was lying to them for a while and--”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay,” I nodded again. “Are you okay?”

She let out a laugh, not a sarcastic or angry one, but one that let me know the question was ironic. “Well, yeah. But, it’s been kind of wild back here. I just--uh--wanted to let you know that me and Harry broke up.”

“What?” I asked this with more force than I intended. “Wait--when?”

“Yesterday--he was a mess after you left and everything was really stressful, and--”

“He was a mess after I left?”

“Well, he was angry. I mean he’s pretty mad at you and he feels betrayed and--”

“Okay,” I held up a hand even though she couldn’t see me. I didn’t need the details. 

“Well you asked.”

“I know--I just, I thought things were going well with you two.”

She let out a sigh. “Yeah, they were. I mean, we were fine, but, I think he’s always going to like you.”

I felt my own eyes go wide, head tilted to the side in the glow of the Palm Beach moon. “Me?”

I didn’t know the right response. Act surprised? Act disgusted? The news was already putting my system into overdrive, the flutter in my heart at her most recent confession made me dizzy.

“Yes, you, Cat--don’t act like it’s such a shock,” she laughed at this like it was silly. “He told me that it wasn’t just once.”

I blew air out between my lips, trying to slow my pulse. “It wasn’t when you were together--he didn’t cheat on you, I promise.”

“I know,” she said. “I told him to call me if he ever gets over you,” she laughed, her voice was sweet and sincere through the phone. “So maybe I’ll hear from him one day, but probably not.”

“Lila,” I breathed out her name and for once, I was at a loss for words. Did I apologize? Did I make some excuse about the tension--whether or not she seemed mad?

“It’s alright, Cat,” she laughed. “Maybe the point of Harry being in my life was so we would find each other. Maybe we’re friend soulmates,” I could hear her smile through the phone, likely from the knowledge that her words would pull an eye roll from me.

But instead I felt my lips turn upward--just a little--when a boat motored by and the leaves of the palm trees danced in the wind. 

Out of all of them, Lila was the one to reach out first. Something about it felt ironic and annoying and somehow still completely serendipitous. 

And for weeks there were people staked outside the front gate. July slowly bled into August and I prayed that the media coverage would fade with summer. My mom seemed to bask in the glow of flashing cameras and my dad had slowly resigned to the fact that his drives to and from the office were now bookended by questions about what I was doing and if the band was breaking up. 

But none of use knew the answer until three weeks in, when my phone rang one night and Niall’s voice was short on the other end. 

“D’ya have a minute?”

“Yeah,” I nodded quickly, sat down on my bed and folded my legs beneath me. I didn’t mean to sound eager, but I’d been hoping for an update on their decision: move forward or disband. I’d yet to hear from him at all and was hoping he’d cooled off since I’d last seen him. “What’s up?”

“Well, we, uh--we’ve been meetin’. We talked to Ian, talked to Ron and some label people. We’re not sure we’re going to stay together.”

“You’re not sure?” I repeated his words for clarity. The decision didn’t sound like something that could be left in the gray area. 

“We’re not. We’re not going forward.”

Silence for a second. “Oh,” I said. “Are you--how do you feel about that?”

“Weird, honestly. Mad, upset, confused.”

“Yeah.”

“I just don’t get it, Cat--I don’t get how things were going so well and yet everything between us got worse and worse.”

“It’s my fault,” I said the words quietly, more calmness laced between them with some salty air and sunshine now a part of my daily routine. “I should have been more honest with you.”

Another pause, and for a second I wasn’t sure if he’d hung up, angry and let down my by half-assed apology. 

“I just wish you hadn’t let Harry get under your skin so much.”

It was a blow I hadn’t expected, I pulled at a thread on my duvet. “It wasn’t just about Harry, Niall,” I tried to not sound angry, looked up at my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. My wet hair was up in a towel, fresh out of the shower and fresh out of patience to talk about Harry.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your brother?”

I stared at the wall, unsure of how to answer his question. On the other side of the sheetrock was the bathroom I’d spent so many nights in. Feet on the cool tile, silently sobbing about the nightmares or wishing it was me and not him. 

If he wanted the truth, I would give it to him. 

“It was my first chance to not be the girl with the dead brother,” I said harshly. “My parents are shitty people, Niall--and when my brother died,” I paused. The thought had been circling in my brain for so long, but putting it into words for the first time made it hurt more. “To them I just became a reminder of him. And my friends from high school and the people in town--I was just one of two, part of a whole.”

“But you told Jules and not me?”

I grew more impatient. “I was drunk, Niall, and I opened my mouth because Harry was being an asshole.”

“Harry? I thought she found out years ago.”

“Yeah--right after I met Harry.”

“Freshman year?”

I rolled my eyes at all of his questions. “Yes--he was being a dick because he was calling me Catherine when we first met and I hate that name because my mother and my brother are literally the only two people on the planet who call me that.”

Another pause. “Oh,” he said, almost like a puzzle piece had fallen into place. “But you didn’t tell him why you didn’t like that name because you didn’t want to bring up your brother.”

It wasn’t a question, he said the words with conviction, informing himself of the rock and hard place I had been stuck between. 

“Telling people within the first two weeks of meeting them that you have a dead twin brother is kind of a vibe killer.”

He let out an awkward laugh, my shoulders felt less tense and I took a leap of faith. “I guess I have PTSD from his death, I mean, I was there. I’ve been googling the symptoms and reading stuff online. I think that’s why I drank so much. Harry constantly calling me that name made all of the memories worse and feel so much closer.”

Quiet again, then he sighed. “I just wish you’d been honest with me.”

I blinked a few times, disappointed that he’d brought it back to the dishonesty and the perceived betrayal when I’d just blurted it all out. I wasn’t left with much in Florida--plenty of time and space to think about the things that had gone wrong and the way I’d reacted. After a few weeks of piecing it together and accepting that maybe there was something wrong with me, maybe I did have a problem--Niall’s lack of response or acknowledgement felt like salt in the wound. 

“I know.”

“I just think I need some space, Cat.”

My heart sunk--not that I didn’t know leaving the band would result in this. I was ready for the awkward phone calls and the fumbling to figure out what we were now: friends? Bandmates? Former roommates? 

I just hadn’t considered that we’d be nothing, potentially, if he was too hurt. 

But after talking to him that night, I wasn’t shocked when Jules wouldn’t answer my calls. At first she’d text back and say she was busy, running an errand or reading Tarot. But after a few weeks of no contact outside of my parents and Marta, reading news articles in my bedroom about the break up and the next steps and the rumors of why it all happened, I called Leah. 

“I need to move out,” I told her. “I need to be somewhere other than Florida and other than New York.”

“Okay,” she said, I could hear typing on the other end. “Los Angeles sounds like an option, then.”

“Do you think that’s weird, though? For me to suddenly buy a house in LA?”

“I mean--Ian called me the other day. Said a lot of writing requests have still been coming in since people don’t really know why you left. Los Angeles would be a good place to do that.”

“I’ll write,” I nodded, something in my gut pulled me towards it. “Who’s been asking?”

“A bunch of people, apparently. Ian said there have been more requests since the split. I guess people figure you’re still doing that--I don’t know.”

I paused for a second, thought about what would happen if word got out to Niall or Jules that I was writing for other people. Would they be angry? Would they care? 

It felt unfair for me to have to factor them into a decision when they wouldn’t answer my calls. For so long they’d been the people I could count on, no matter how much I fucked up or how bad things got. 

But now I didn’t have Niall, I didn’t have Jules, I didn’t have Eddie or Miles. I didn’t have Ian and I didn’t have Harry. I didn’t have a record label and I didn’t have shows to put on. I’d lost almost everything. 

And after all of the uncertainty in my life, the only constant was music. I figured I deserved to keep that.

Summer 2019 

The knocking sent my heart to my throat, one that I’d been waiting for all morning. The California sun was warm through the windows, and when I opened the door, Jules’s hair was blonder than I remembered and Niall’s was darker. 

“Hi,” Jules said, her lips curved up in a small smile. Niall nodded in greeting, I stepped aside, hoping that I didn’t look or sound as stupid as I felt. 

“Come in--I can make tea, or coffee or something.”

They stepped inside, took a look around the foyer. Jules hit Niall in the stomach when he didn’t reply, he grunted in response. “Yeah, tea--that’d be lovely.”

I rolled my eyes at his nervousness, let my mouth quirk into a smirk. “We don’t have to act like strangers, you know.”

They both nodded, awkward smiles in return when we stood, frozen in place.

“Does it really feel that way?”

Jules relented first after a tiny giggle. “No--we’re not strangers. We just--it’s been a while.”

Nine months, to be exact. Texts and phone calls and even emails in between, fall turned into winter and by the time Christmas came, I lived on a tree lined street with other celebrities who could afford this level of privacy. 

I led them into the kitchen and sighed, put the teapot on the stove. “Well, I kind of had some shit to get together.”

When I turned around and let my hands rest on the counter, Niall took a breath before he spoke. “Glad we’re here, you know, just--I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”

We hadn’t. First we just sent funny videos, memes back and forth and eventually I got added to a group message with both of them in it. Eddie and I would facetime every once in a while, Miles and I would check in every few weeks and I’d send him some songs I was working on. 

I nodded, I hadn’t talked much about it with anyone--except for Lila. She visited for the New Year and brought me sparkling cider, it’s without the alcohol, but with all of the bubbles and fun.

“You were too angry to hear me out,” I shrugged my shoulders. True, but also probably not what he wanted to hear.

“Can you blame me, Cat? We worked so hard for that band and that success and it felt like you were throwing it away.”

Jules tensed at his volume, looked at me for a reply. 

I nodded, remembered what Lila had advised. Hear them out, validate that they were hurt. 

“I know--I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

This apparently caught Niall off guard--maybe he’d expected me to fight him on it, defend myself or my actions and make it seem like it was his fault. 

But it wasn’t. The drinking was my fault. The running from my emotions was my fault. None of them made me behave the way I did. 

“I get that you had stuff to figure out with your family, but why didn’t you want to try to work it out with us?”

I sighed, Jules pulled out a stool and sat, her eyes on me as she waited for an answer. I knew the question was coming. I knew they’d want to know and I knew that they probably still felt confused and unsure about what had transpired almost a year ago. I had finally given Niall more information about Cameron, but I’d left out the pieces back then that I hadn’t yet found.

The band had been pulling me down, whether or not I wanted to admit it. Staying in the band meant sacrificing my sanity, and when the moment came to choose one or the other, I had to choose myself.

Fonder couldn’t exist if I wanted to be okay--and if I wanted to be okay then Fonder had to come to an end. I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too.

I shook my head, I didn’t know where to start. “I don’t think I would have been able to do it with all of you guys right there.”

“All of us?” Jules offered a knowing smirk.

 I bit at my lip and then admitted: “Harry.”

Jules nodded, Niall dropped my gaze. 

Back in the spring Jules finally called me, the flowers had started to bloom and news of my signing with a new publishing company had started to break. I told her I was sorry for how it all played out and she told me that Miles was doing session stuff at New Trick. Eddie was working with other artists and she hadn’t heard from Harry. 

So now, May in my Los Angeles kitchen, almost a year after I left them on the road and almost a year since I’d seen or heard from Harry, his name echoed against the granite counter top when Niall met my gaze again.

“He’s been asking about ya.”

I counted to three, play it cool. “You’ve talked to him?”

He kept my gaze, sat beside Jules and I wondered if this was a test. They’d planted the seed about visiting me in February, they opted to stay at a hotel and Niall told us he’d been in the studio working on a solo project. I think he expected me to be mad, but I was just proud. 

“He might lay some bass tracks for the stuff I’ve been doing.”

I nodded. “I didn’t know if he was still playing or what he was up to.”

“Did some stuff with Vince, actually, did some session stuff with them for a while, continues to be a heartthrob, the usual.” He cracked a smile at that, Jules rolled her eyes when the tea kettle whistled. 

“Actually, Cat, there was something we wanted to talk to you about.”

I poured the water into three cups, kept my back to them when I replied casually: “what’s up?”

I had no clue what it was. No idea what they wanted to discuss and no idea if they were using this visit as an opportunity to corner me. 

“My birthday’s soon and I wanted to have a party in New York. We wanted you to come.”

It felt too soon for a reunion. Didn’t this type of thing come years later? When one of us was married or when someone had a baby? I turned around and pushed the cups towards them, offered a few options for tea before I replied. “With, like, everyone?”

Niall pulled a bag out of it’s sleeve and dunked it into the steaming water. “With Harry, is what she’s asking.”

“I know what she’s asking,” Jules retorted before she turned back to me. “And yes--he’ll be there.”

“Is this some kind of intervention?” I joked. “Cause I’ve already been sober for almost a year.”

“No,” Jules shook her head. “But we’re extremely proud of your sobriety. I know things got fucked up, but I want us all to be okay, even if Fonder is over.” She looked over to Niall, waiting for him to add on.

“S’also our first party we’re hosting together,” he leaned over to pat her on the knee, his tone casual when he dropped a metaphorical bomb. “As a couple.”

I had to choke down the tea that I’d just sipped, I set the cup down and blinked a few times. “You guys are dating?!”

“We spent a lot of time together when the band split up,” Jules said, a wriggle of her eyebrows in my direction. “Turns out I’m not that annoying after all.”

Niall rolled his eyes, turned back to see me. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” I smiled. “It’s amazing, I’m really happy for you guys.”

“You are?” Jules asked, her voice smaller now.

“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Niall shrugged his shoulders, his eyes met mine when he spoke. “Well, I wasn’t exactly the most on board for you and Harry gettin’ together.”

“That was different,” I waved a hand, “and stupid.”

“Was it, though?” Jules’ question was pointed, apparently she still wanted us to be together as much as she had back then.

“Yes, Jules--it was different. It was us being dumb and horny.”

“I think you should come to her birthday party, chat with him.”

I watched Niall for a second. “And why is that?”

Another shrug. “I think it’d be good for you two to reconnect.”

“I’ll come,” I said, “I’m not against coming.”

“But you’re against reconnecting with Harry?” Another prod from Jules. 

“I don’t know,” I let out a groan. “It’s been so long! I don’t even know what he’s been doing or who he’s been seeing or--.”

“No one,” Niall said. “He’s seeing no one.”

“Well, whatever,” I ignored him. “Whether or not he’s seeing someone I’ll still come.”

“Right,” Niall smirked, “but him being single is probably a good pull, right?”

“Don’t make this a thing,” I warned, another sip of tea through the smirk that took up residency on my face. 

“Every single thing between the two of you has been a thing,” Jules said. “Maybe your souls have met before.”

“Enough with the reincarnation stuff, will you?” Niall looked over to her like she was crazy. I mean, maybe she was, but the look in his eyes was different now: less judgmental, more loving.

She waved him off, her focus back to me when she sighed. “You don’t have more questions about him?” She rested her elbows on the counter, offered a look that told me she didn’t believe my nonchalance. 

“None,” I said.

“You don’t even want to know what he’s been asking about ya?”

I let my tongue slide against my teeth, a willful attempt to not take the bait. 

“He knows we’re here,” Jules said--again, a casual admission and a curiosity on her end about how I’d react. 

“Are you going to call him up and give him a full report as soon as you leave?” I eyed Niall playfully, giggled when he rolled his eyes.

“Probably,” he teased. “Tell him that you seem happier than I’ve ever seen ya.”

“Make sure to allude to the fact that it’s cause he’s finally not in my life,” I cracked.

“Just as mean as ever, though,” he laughed. 

I smiled at them, a sense of relief to learn that peace could come after change, after heartbreak, and after hurt. But it was mostly nice to know that even if everything else had changed, Niall’s ability to poke fun at me and Jules’ affinity for cosmic conspiracy theories had remained exactly the same. 

So I flew to New York a few weeks later, my hair shorter than the last time I’d been there and the sky a brighter blue. My apartment had been empty for a year--dust had gathered on the counters and the artwork I’d left on the walls felt out of place now. 

I’d been in and out a few times, once for a meeting with my lawyer, another time when I flew in to write with Adam Levine. When I pushed the door open and tugged my suitcase inside, the emptiness felt all consuming. 

It felt like I was sneaking into someone else’s house--pulling back the curtains in someone else’s bedroom and slipping into the shoes of someone I would never be. 

Being back felt weird--different than I expected and somehow more nerve wracking than facing my mother or facing the truth: I was different. 

The worst part about it was that the piano faced the same window and the same chairs sat on top of the same carpet. It had been frozen in time, a sad and stark reminder of what used to be. 

But I didn’t have time to wallow in self-pity, though--soon enough whisked off to meet up with Jules and Nialls. I was excited to see Miles and Eddie despite feeling like an absolute idiot. Did they blame it all on me? Did any of them recognize how toxic Harry and I had been? 

My nerves were palpable, leaving beads of sweat on my forehead when I walked behind Jules and Niall and the security detail that would spend the night by our sides.

 A whole year of sobriety, not one drop in 362 days--and tonight was my first time in a bar. 

Jules had offered something else: a restaurant, their new apartment, anywhere but a place that’s sole purpose was to get you drunk. But I declined. The Bitter End was the only place that this reunion could happen, and instead of using tequila to calm the thumping in my chest, I was left with breathing techniques I’d learned from a mediation app and my 1-year coin from AA in my pocket. 

I had no idea if he’d even show up. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t nauseous all day when they were texting in a group, just like we used to before things exploded. Before I exploded. 

So I decided that Harry’s presence tonight wouldn’t make or break me. His presence at all throughout my time in New York wouldn’t break me. 

I didn’t want to be the bomb that someone needed to diffuse. I kept watch of the door and acted as if I wasn’t checking my phone for an update, simultaneously hoping he’d show up and hoping that I’d never have to face him. 

But when the clock ticked closer to closing time and I stifled another yawn--apparently being sober in bars past midnight just made you exhausted--a feeling of disappointment was left circling in my chest. Maybe he didn’t want to see me. Maybe he just couldn’t do it. 

Around 1am I climbed into the back of the car behind Jules, settled into my seat when she drunkenly giggled into Niall’s shoulder. I stared down at my phone screen and opened the group message from Harry. 

I’ll try to swing by.

It was the feeling that had hovered inside of me for a long time, knotted in my ribs and tangled in my lungs. The feeling that used to have me reaching for a bottle: Not good enough. 

But I noticed it, I knew it now. This was the moment I would have gone home and popped the champagne to let myself fall asleep without the echoing in my head: not good enough, not good enough, not good enough. 

It felt good to know I was on the other side, more insight, more awareness and friends from AA to text if it really got dark again. But I looked to the middle seats in front of me, Nialls and Jules laughed between themselves, the streets of Lower Manhattan passed by the tinted windows and somewhere back home my mom was pouring another glass and my dad was ignoring her. 

And yet I was okay. Something about time away from the band and time away from alcohol had taught me how to swim, no longer dragged beneath the surface by the uncomfortable emotions that tried to drown me for so long. I could fall asleep without the TV on and I wondered that night where he was, but I stayed afloat. 

I hyped myself up the next day to show up to Jules’ party an hour early. I tucked flowers in a vase and rolled my eyes when Niall blasted songs from our first EP over the speakers, can’t believe we thought this shit was good, we sound so young! Jules obsessed over which shade of lipstick she should wear and I just tried to keep my hands busy. 

Maybe he wouldn’t show up here, either. 

But people spilled in and their roof deck was the perfect spot for a summer birthday party. By dinnertime I pretended that I didn’t hate small talk and made nice with people I hadn’t seen in years. Nice to see you, I’ve been good, yeah still writing. This wasn’t about me--this was for Jules. 

He slipped in at some point, blended in with the crowd until I did another scan. My eyes caught his figure, a loosely buttoned shirt and a bracelet around his wrist that glistened in the sun when I stood frozen in place. 

Sunglasses shielded his eyes and his hair was longer than before--he moved with ease, after all, he hadn’t disappeared and cost people their jobs.

Ian laughed by my side as if this wasn’t a monumental moment, he joked with Miles and Vince about something unrelated when I blinked a few times, looked around to see if anyone else had noticed his arrival. Okay, the sudden change in the atmosphere was apparently only noticeable to me. 

I looked down at the red solo cup in my hand: cranberry juice, seltzer, a splash of lime. I excused myself quickly and weaved through the other people until I could slide the door to the master bedroom shut. The music was muffled on the other side of the wall, laughter from the party bounced against the door and now, I could breathe. In, out, inhale, exhale.

I walked over to the living room, met face to face with the bottles of liquor on the counter. It pulled me in, their labels and fancy names made my cheeks tingle. But instead of walking over and uncapping the tequila like I may have wanted to, I turned left down the hall, found myself in a room where they kept all their instruments. 

A piano in the corner, one Niall saved up for our sophomore year after his birthday. I went and looked at the words scribbled on note paper beside it, an old glass of water--did Jules bicker with him like a true girlfriend about leaving his dishes out? 

Beside it was a guitar, the one I’d gifted him after we signed the record label, the year we moved out of our first apartment. I plucked a few strings, a melody coming out when I let my fingers fumble through a progression. 

Maybe this is how I’d been doing it. The desire to drink was usually quelled with a song, the outpouring of whatever emotion I wanted to run from--just like I’d hurried inside to avoid Harry. 

He had the same hold over my heart whether I was drunk or sober, busy or bored. I’d been avoiding the vulnerability that he brought out of me, like the time he let me cut his hair and giggle in his sheets. I didn’t know what it was about him, something I felt I’d never fully capture in a song or in a sentence out loud. 

There are things that I sing 

that I'd never have the confidence to say

There are things I believe 

that I only figure out when I sit down to play

The door creaked, a figure on the other side of the room when I looked up and stopped singing. 

“Hi,” he said, his lips in a thin line like he didn’t know if he should smile or frown. 

I put the guitar back in its stand and stood up. “Hi--sorry, I was just messing around.”

“Sounded good,” he nodded, a cup in his hand that he sipped from when he broke our gaze. “You can keep going, if you want. What’s it about?”

He took a few steps closer to me, set the solo cup on the piano and then picked up the guitar. He pulled the strap over his shoulder and tuned it a bit, looked up at me when I didn’t reply. 

“Just a song,” I shrugged, unsure if the smirk on his face meant anything or if I was just reading too far into the dimple in his cheek. 

He plucked what I was playing, easily able to recreate the song when he sat on a stool. 

Nervousness in my words when they floated between us. “Shouldn’t we be outside?”

“S’been a minute since we wrote something together,” he shrugged. “Don’t think anyone will mind. Sing it again?”

I sat down, smoothed out the skirt of my dress and cleared my throat. I ran through the verse again, suddenly self conscious to be this real in front of him. This time I went on, eyes closed when it felt like the song had always existed.

The truth don't scare me in a melody, 

immortalizing my sincerity

There are things that I sing that 

I'd never have the confidence to say

Like that song about my parents that I'll never show 'em

 I paused, laughed a little when I didn’t know where to take it. He hummed for a second, knew we were almost at the hook. He filled in the rest like it was easy.

 And the ones about my exes that they don't deserve

But when it comes to you, I'm still trying to find the words

 “Hey,” Jules’ voice was at the door. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, yeah,” I stood up, Harry let out a laugh at my quick reaction. “Sorry--we were just--”

“Messing around,” he stole my words from earlier, looked up at me when he set the guitar back down. 

“I was just coming out,” I said, walking over to Jules. 

 “Me too,” Harry followed behind me quickly. 

 “You guys can stay,” she laughed, “you don’t have to come out.”

 “S’fine,” Harry said, my words muffled between: “we were done.”

 Jules rolled her eyes but headed back for the living room. “Glad you two are reacquainted,” she smiled over her shoulder. 

 I ignored her comment, Harry got pulled off by an old classmate and I fell into conversation with Eddie when he introduced me to the girl he’d started dating. I pinched his cheek and felt like a proud parent to learn he’d moved on from his crush on me--a true marker that time could heal all. 

I ignored the melody that burned in my head, stole glances at Harry and tried to make sense of the encounter we had shared. If nothing else came from tonight, at least I had the start of a new song.

I caught Ian up on the writing I’d done with other artists--he’d been in the loop and even given me a recommendation for a new manager when I moved to LA. But when the sun started to set and people started to get drunker than they’d been, I found myself sitting off to the side, tracing the pink skyline of the city that still felt like home. 

Niall kissed Jules on the cheek when she welcomed late arrivals--commotion on the other end of the roof deck--it felt reassuring to know that everyone’s world kept spinning without me at the center. 

“We’ll have to finish that one, eventually,” Harry sat down next to me, folded his arms across his chest when he smiled. “Might already have half the hook written up here,” he pointed to his temple.

I shifted down on the patio furniture, careful to keep enough room between us. 

“Pretty sure that’s my song,” I eyed him. “And now you’re writing it for me?”

He pushed his lips out in thought. “Could be ours, if you wanted.”

I rolled my eyes, tilted my head to the side. “Still just as annoying as I remembered.”

He smiled at that, quiet for a second when he held my gaze. “S’good to see you.”

I didn’t know how to reply, so I nodded my head. “Ditto.”

“Sorry I couldn’t make it last night, I was working and ended up staying late at the studio.”

I raised my eyebrows at him, looked at the glass in his hand. Clear--ice cubes that swirled around in the summer heat. “Is that vodka?” I changed the topic. “I thought you were a beer guy.”

“It’s water,” he shrugged. “Figured you shouldn’t be the only sober one here tonight.”

I bit at my lip, nodded at the sweet gesture but felt like words were stuck in my throat. “I didn’t know you knew.”

He let out a short laugh, “Jules isn’t great at keeping secrets.”

I shook my head, pretended to be annoyed when I teased: “never had any privacy in that band.”

“Yeah, well--we fucked a lot of things up.”

“We?” I eyed him suspiciously for a moment, certain he meant me. 

“I’m the one who couldn’t figure out how to not be a dick to you, so--yeah, we.”

“I think me being a liar and drunk all the time takes the cake, but I appreciate you saying that.”

“I didn’t say you don’t take the cake,” he laughed, knocking his knee against mine. “But I should have done a lot differently.”

I twisted a ring around my finger, pulled for more information. “Like?”

He smirked, rolled his eyes at my nosiness but then let out a sigh. “Fought with you less, called you out on your drinking sooner, not dated Lila,” he trailed off like maybe there was more, but I cut him off. 

“I don’t regret you dating Lila.”

“So I’ve heard,” he smiled. “So typical of you to steal my girlfriend.”

“You broke up with her!” I laughed. “We bonded over both going through big break ups. You dumped her, I broke up the band--it was a very healing experience for us to have each other. She’s a good friend, she always will be.”

He laughed, looked out at the sky and shrugged. “Yeah, she just wasn’t for me, I knew it all along,” he teased.

I pulled my head back. “Wait--if you knew that then why did you make me be so fucking nice to her?”

“I needed her to stick around,” he said this with a smirk, a dimple appeared in his cheek when he dropped my gaze and then looked down at his hands.

“Spill it,” I said, angling myself towards him. “You’re not telling me something.”

He let out a sigh, looked over at me and then rubbed at his eyes, almost like he was embarrassed. “I needed her to stick around because I wanted to make you jealous.”

“Make me jealous?! Of her? And being with you?”

He fought off a smile for a second, but when I let out a belly laugh and leaned back, he cracked. “It was stupid--we were in a constant push and pull back then and I didn’t know how to admit it to you that I was hurt when we broke--when we stopped sleeping together.”

I bit at the inside of my cheek, let his words float in the evening air high above the East Village. But then I nodded, voice small when I said: “yeah, it sucked. I’m sorry I made you keep my secret.”

He looked at me, almost surprised by my words, but then he let out a breath. “I’m sorry I held it over your head for so long. And tried to make you jealous.”

I watched a blinking light in the sky, a plane landing at LaGuardia or a star fizzling out. “I guess I deserved it.”

His eyebrows arched at that, a silent request for more information when I shrugged.

“I was basically always buzzed and lying to the most important people in my life. A hot mess would be an understatement.”

He bit back a laugh, nodded quietly. “I get it, though.”

My heart did a somersault, an uncomfortable feeling that lingered when the sky became a hazier orange. “You do?”

He nodded again, more confident this time, like he knew exactly how I felt without the slightest of explanation. “Grief does crazy shit to people. And I don’t think you ever got to heal yours.”

I clenched my jaw inadvertently, his words were true but plucked at something in me so deep and real that I didn’t have the words to reply. Luckily, he knew that. 

“We were both different people back then, I think.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “And a lot has changed.”

“Can I admit something?”

“Shoot.”

“My feelings haven’t.”

I looked over at him quickly, Jules’ words perched overhead like mistletoe. Twin flames--a soul connection that typically made me gag. This time, my heartbeat slowed and the anxiety I’d had about running into him seemed to dissipate, I nodded. I knew they hadn’t, I knew mine hadn’t, either. His words weren’t shocking, and when the last three years played over in my head, I wondered what would have happened if someone else had joined the band. 

I smiled, an unstable attempt at honesty and vulnerability. “I just wish we could have a fresh start, you know?”

He laughed at this, angled himself towards me when he smiled. “Nice to meet you, I’m Harry. What’s your name?”

I eyed him for a second, trying to decide if I thought his ploy to start fresh was stupid or romantic. I let my hand reach forward to shake his. “Cat,” I nodded, lips twisted into a smile before I could even meet his gaze. “Call me Cat.”

He tugged me closer to him, paused for a second before he let our lips meet. “Cat it is. But I think we have a song to finish.”

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[havethetimeofyourstyles]

welcome to the time travelathon fic challenge!

hi lovelies! i’ve reached a new milestone on here, and im so grateful for every single one. thank you for being so sweet and kind, and supportive! <3 to celebrate, i’ve created my very first fic challenge that i think will be very fun for the new year, ironic to this challenge hehe

→ guidelines to enter: 

send me an inbox or message if you’re interested or planning on joining, and/or please reblog this post with a little message in the tags if you’re thinking about participating! anyone can join, you don’t have to be a writer! 

there is no word count. if you have a small idea, blurb, headcannon, moodboard, etc., that is very much welcomed! if you want to make it a full and long fic, that is great as well! 

it must be harry x ofc, reader, or y/n

deadline is january 31st, or you could definitely post it later as well bc i know life happens and writing isn’t the most important thing in the world. im not really big on deadlines, but i would be too excited to read everyone’s stories, so there’s a deadline for this lol. but if you can’t make the deadline, please let me know! 

smut, angst, fluff is always welcomed! but please avoid triggering topics such as domestic violence, r*pe, suicide, etc. tag and put a trigger warning for certain topics that are needed! 

make sure to tag me @havethetimeofyourstyles and your fic with #timetravelathon, so i could see it! sometimes tumblr doesn’t notify me when im tagged, so please message me if i don’t see it within a day! 

→ where to begin:

below the cut, you will choose a time era or decade to write about that must be written in that year. please put the date/year at the beginning of the story so we know when your story takes place! 

you could write about anything you want, but i will provide some events/movies that happened during those years that you’re free to base your story on! feel free to use the tropes as well! 

then, you will choose a piece of dialogue. you could use however many your heart desires. 

have fun and get creative! i can’t wait to read <3

→ time era: 

anything from the 1920s-2000s 

nothing after 2002, please! 

→ events/movies 

the great gatsby (1920)

grease/pink ladies and the t birds (1950)

hairspray (1960) 

breakfast at tiffany’s (1960) 

woodstock (1960) 

pretty in pink (1980) 

dirty dancing (1980) 

the breakfast club (1980) 

sleepless in seattle (1993) 

empire records (1995) 

you’ve got mail (1998) 

the parent trap (1998) 

serendipity (2001) 

music festivals (1960-2000) 

meeting your favorite band/artist

drive in

summer love

digging and opening up the time capsule 

you don’t need to base it on a movie, but these are some suggestions that are based in those time periods, which i think will be fun to write about! and if you have a movie in mind that’s not on the list, go for it!

→ tropes/aus

friends/enemies/strangers etc to lovers 

actor!harry or actor!yn/ofc

babysitter!yn/ofc

baker!harry 

ceo!harry or ceo!yn/ofc

designer!harry or designer!yn/ofc

famous!yn/ofc

jock!harry x cheerleader!yn/ofc or jock!yn/ofc 

millionaire!harry who owns a mansion, boat, and hosts a lot of parties 

model!harry or model!yn/ofc

(single)dad!harry or singlemom!yn/ofc 

sugardaddy!harry 

teacher/prof!harry or teacher/prof!yn/ofc

uni/frat!harry 

dunkirk/war

friends with benefits 

fake dating 

high school/college sweethearts 

next door neighbors 

royal au 

again, these are ideas that you don’t have to use, but feel free to use them!

→ prompts: 

“And if I don’t? What are you gonna do about it?”

“You’re cute, I like you!” 

“Because I care! Why don’t you get that?” 

“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna walk away?” 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty. I can’t stop staring at you.” 

“You like that? Tell me how it feels.” 

“Join the club, sweetheart!” 

“This moment, right here, it’s all I need.” 

“You’re actually a fuckin’ dickhead.” 

“Better be quiet before I make you.” 

“Is that your way of threatening me with a good time?” 

“I’ve always been in love with you.” 

“Let them know how good I’m making you feel.” 

“Yeah, I’d like to see you do better.” 

“Why am I naked and you’re still fully clothed?” 

“Don’t even think about it. You’re stuck with me.” 

“Remind me why you’re still talking?” 

“You’re the only one that matters to me.” 

“Well, isn’t this just a lovely surprise.” 

“Fuck me like you mean it.” 

if you’re taking part in this, thank you so much! please have fun with this, and i can’t wait to read your beautiful and creative minds <3 any questions, you could ask me here or message me! 

[almondharry]

you look so good : two

you look so good [9.1k]

“Let’s get some pasta, green beans, kidney beans, and some lentils.”

Genevieve’s nose scrunched. “I don’t even know what to do with lentils.”

“I have a great recipe for a dal curry. I’ll teach you, it’ll be perfect. We can make a whole day out of it.”

A whole day? For lentils? Genevieve opened and closed her mouth shut, no words came out. 

Arnold’s Singularity Theory

October 26, 2019

Her back was hunched over the wooden desk beside her bed. The high pitched ringing of her alarm snapped her eyes open at six in the morning. The sky was a navy blue; she could make out the few dog walkers on the street. It was her only day off, but the piled work on her table argued otherwise.

Genevieve was alone in her freezing apartment. The heating was broken and when she told Mr. Goldwin, her landlord, he didn’t have his hearing aid on. She had a routine for Sundays: Wake up. Do practice problems. Make a cup of tea. Sleep. 

A dull ache prodded between her shoulder blades, her spine was sorely unaligned. Her face was all sunken cheeks and shades of grey. The sweater bought last month suddenly became a few sizes too big. 

The sun created hues of orange and reds. The blue that slowly peeked out at the sides made it seem like a bowl of dirty paint water being stirred. The evening stillness in her flat was interrupted by the sudden roar of an engine. As she looked out the window, a car zoomed down the road with a blaring radio. An animated lightning bolt was left behind, its speed meant it was gone within a blink. An unsettling feeling made itself a home in the pit of her stomach. She pictured it as swirls, starting off as small slow circles, and eventually growing into sharp hurried edges. 

It was probably nothing, maybe university kids having a laugh, but she didn’t have the time to mull over it because the swinging of her front door and jingling of a bundle of keys sounded loudly. 

Meena opened the door to her refrigerator and the only thing there was a flickering light bulb and an empty box of orange juice. A high pitched shrill followed.

“Gen!” 

Genevieve was out of milk, eggs, and cereal.

She wouldn’t have given it another thought and might’ve ordered take out or popped in at the Smalls’ to split a pizza with Jonah, the neighbour’s kid who she tutored every once in a while. He was the only child of a single dad who worked too many hours at the construction site to make rent. He wasn’t home often and they had a silent understanding of popping in every couple days to keep an eye on him, much like Meena liked to keep tabs on Genevieve. Except, Genevieve wasn’t a scrawny teenage boy who needed to be looked after, something which Meena would refute without a shadow of doubt. At the current state of Genevieve’s flat, the jury would easily side with Meena Ahmed.

Meena had a hand on her hip, her lips pressed in a firm line. She took a deep breath, pinching the carton between her thumb and index finger. “Gen-e-vieve!” 

Meena put her foot down and opened the trash can only to find it overflowing. She held back a gag. 

“Genevieve!” 

After some rustling and movement on the other side of the wall, her feet stumbled out of her bedroom. An unimpressed snarl on her face, Genevieve’s body leaned against the doorway.

“I think by now everyone in this bloody building knows my name,” she said with a textbook in one hand and a pen in the other. She had not looked away from the pages. She hurriedly scratched an answer to her practice problems before it could float away from her brain. “That’s exactly the information they need to kick me out.”

Meena was in her work out clothes, a bright pink neon top with matching trainers. She looked straight out of a healthy living ad. She had glossy black hair, almond shaped eyes, and always smelled of fresh daisies. She had that all American smile and pearly whites that were blinding. She was into juicing, kale, and art history. 

“What is this?”

“What’s what?” Genevieve inquired, her eyes glued on the next problem.

When a moment of silence went by and no response was given, her head shot up.

Her eyes flickered from the trash can—she thought she saw something move in there— to the open door of her empty refrigerator. Her lips fell into an O shape. 

“When you told me you went to the shops on Tuesday, I didn’t know you were talking about two bloody weeks ago,” Meena huffed as she bent down to tie a knot on the black bag, her nose scrunched up. It was atypical to hear her accent try out British sayings, but amusing nonetheless. “Have you been eating?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. I do have instant noodles on the shelf. And I mainly eat at the diner.” Genevieve shrugged, her attention migrated back to her pages. What at first glance looked like to be ten simple problems turned out to be a mess of numbers and formulas that weren’t making any sense. 

“That God awful place serves nothing but heart disease! It takes a whole stack of napkins to soak up that grease!” Meena scoffed as she replaced the bin with a fresh bag. On multiple occasions, she had cornered a frightened Walter to discuss his technique and may have even manipulated him to add a vegan alternative to his infamous pancakes. Thanks to Meena, Flo’s now served gluten-free, vegetarian, and no sugar added options. Genevieve firmly believed Walter did it out of fear, but he won’t admit it. “And instant noodles are not a meal, we have talked about this.”

“‘Course they are! An efficient one too.”

“What happened to ‘We’re gonna change things this year, Meena! Real changes! You won’t recognize me by the time I’m done’?” 

If there was one thing Meena Ahmed took seriously, it was New Year’s resolutions. She kept every one ever since she was old enough to make them. She hadn’t missed a gym day for the past three years. When she said she would take on meditation, she actually did. When her mind became set on studying abroad in London, on January first, she was boarding a plane. 

So when the following December 31st hit and Genevieve was one too many drinks in with Meena, she found herself making empty promises of eating better and taking care of herself. Little did Meena know that to Genevieve, resolutions were much like a two-week free trial. As soon as that time frame was up, you could up and go. 

“I put in a solid effort for a week, and that’s what counts!”

“We need to go to the shops. You have nothing here. You need a list.” The pen between Genevieve’s fingers was swiped and the tearing of paper was quick from her notebook. She was also very much into being intrusive. “Let’s start off with the basics. Eggs, milk, bread. Do you want tea?”

“I can do my own groceries! I’m not a child, Meena!”

“Could’ve fooled me. By the looks of it, you’ve been living off frosted flakes. Do you even know where the closest store is?”

Genevieve scoffed and propped herself on the counter with the back of her elbows. “Of course I do, I am very much capable of taking care of myself.”

Meena paused. Her body turned towards Genevieve with her full, utmost attention. Her eyes scanned her from head to toe, Genevieve was being appraised.

She didn’t put effort to hide the worried crinkle forming between her brows. “Have you showered today? Changed your clothes?”

Genevieve wasn’t a slob, but she did let herself go at times. It was something that Meena, who religiously went to get fresh manicures every two weeks, couldn’t quite grasp.  

“Oh, sod off! I was just about to run myself a bath before you came barreling in.”

She wasn’t, but Meena didn’t need to know that.

“Hm, what type of tea?” Meena asked after rolling her eyes dismissively. 

“Green, please.”

“Let’s get some pasta, green beans, kidney beans, and some lentils.”

Genevieve’s nose scrunched. “I don’t even know what to do with lentils.”

“I have a great recipe for a dal curry. I’ll teach you, it’ll be perfect. We can make a whole day out of it.”

A whole day? For lentils? Genevieve opened and closed her mouth shut, no words came out. She sighed, getting Meena to budge was a faraway dream. She rubbed her strained eyes as Meena listed off something about the lack of vitamins in her diet. She was now on a tangent explaining how an increase in omega-3 and healthy fats in her diet could be beneficial when Genevieve's front door knob jiggled. There was a grunt and a strategic kick to the door, and it flew open.

“Gen!” he panted, his tongue slipped out unintentionally like a dog. His cheeks were flushed a cherry red, probably from the trek up the stairs. Jonah’s backpack was twice the size of him. He wore a shirt with his favourite comic book character, its armpits a shade darker than the rest of his shirt.

He had a ghost white face and his left eye twitched. “Hey, bud, you alright?” Genevieve raised a brow.

Little lungs took in a heavy breath, quite like pulling the handles of a bicycle air pump up.

“I don’t get the trigonometric equations! I have a test tomorrow! Mrs. Hansuld was going over the review in class and it looked like she was speaking Russian— and I know I should’ve been studying last week but they just released the new version of Triton Galaxy X and it was just so beyond cool, Gen. I am already on level twelve, and, well, now I have a test and I don’t know any of it. Nothing. Zero. I don’t think I can even add numbers anymore.”

Genevieve looked at Meena. Her mouth was parted from shock as she blinked at the frazzled boy in front of them. “You’re so tiny… but you, you speak so much and so fast.”

“Um, actually, you’re mistaken.” He raised an accusing finger. His height was a sensitive topic. He was at the stage where all his friends were getting growth spurts and growing like weeds, whereas he had yet to experience his own. “I am almost five foot and that is within the normal height range on WebMD, Docs4You and according to my pediatrician.” 

Genevieve found it amusing that his voice reached a higher pitch the more defensive he got. He was a whistle by the end of his sentence. It also didn’t help that his last name was Smalls and kids in school could be cruel. 

“‘Course, yeah, I’m sorry. My bad.” Meena nodded quickly. She knew she hit a nerve as she backed up slowly. She scratched the back of her neck. “Um, well, Gen and I were planning on picking up groceries, but I’ll go grab ‘em.”

“Great, I’ll go take my books out.” Jonah dragged his bag like a potato sack into the living room.  

“You really don’t have to, Meena.” 

“Gen, it’s no big deal,” she brushed off. “Anyway, I don’t think your pal wants me around much. I need an escape and maybe a magazine too.”

When Meena gulped uncomfortably, Genevieve shook her head. She pushed herself off the counter. 

“Here take my card.” Genevieve shoved the plastic rectangle into Meena’s hand. A comforting squeeze was given. “If you get him one of those milk chocolate bars, he will forgive you in ten minutes tops.”

“Right,” Meena laughed. “I’ll be back in no time.”

***

October 27, 2019

There was a buzzing.

The room was swallowed in darkness, the crescent moon that hung behind the window didn’t provide enough light to warrant a quick search. It was enough of a reason for Genevieve to shut her half opened lids.

Except that the buzzing began again. 

Genevieve groaned into her pillow until the nuisance came to a full stop. Whoever was beckoning her attention could do without it until the sun came up. There was an ache in her neck from the poor posture that her body folded in. To top it off, she had an 8:00 a.m. class. There were not enough hours in the night so she was clinging on to any thread of peace. She tossed and turned until she got the sheets pooled around her in just the right way.

Just when Genevieve was about to slip into the blissful state of unconsciousness, the aggravating buzz started once more. The less than pleased frown on her lips could surely make fresh flowers wilt. Her limbs were heavy with sleep as she moved her duvet to find the pesky device. Genevieve lived in a shithole. Labelling her room a shoe box would be bordering glamorous. Although, it did make it easier to find things. 

It took a couple of shuffles and twists to hear the thud of a screen colliding against the floorboard. The damn thing was still ringing. The brightness on the unknown caller screen made her face glow blue and the back of her eyes burn; she shut them while blindly hitting the green circle. 

“Hm?” Her voice croaked. 

“You know the time I got you out of a thing?”

Their words were slurred and the glowing digits on her windowsill read 5:26 a.m. This meant one thing only. “No, sorry. Wrong number.” 

Genevieve brought the phone away from her face, and just as her finger hovered over the red circle, a needy yelp cried out.

“Gen! Don’t hang up!”

Her eyes rolled with an aggravated sigh, fingers reluctantly pressing the device to the side of her head. There was sleep crusted in the corners of her eyes and she had to blink a couple of times to adjust to the darkness.“What do you want, Niall?”

“You see, I’m in this predicament… and I might need someone sober and with a car.”

“Then call a bloody Uber. Who do you think I am?”

“Look, I thought that. But—”

There was rustling on the other side. After some bickering, another voice spoke through the line. 

“Gen, come get this tosser or else he will pass out on my floor. I swear, I’ll lock up with him inside.” 

“How bad is he?” Genevieve was already pushing aside textbooks on her floor in search of a pair of trousers. With one leg inside and the receiver pressed between her cheek and shoulder, she hopped on her bedroom floor. 

“Not good. He is a right mess.”

“I’ll be there in ten. Just keep giving him water, please? Thanks for the ring, Ted.” She knew Niall well enough to know that this wasn’t his bright and shiny idea. If it were up to him, he would pass out on a park bench. 

“Got your number scratched on the wall for a reason.” The click sounded on the other side, then the line dropped afterwards.

It was true. If you looked hard enough you could make out the chicken scratched scribbles right under the faux payphone mounted inside The Cabinet, where the beers were cheap and Niall Horan was reachable at the slightest inconvenience that struck his life. Last week, it was because he had failed his mid-term. This week, the problem was blonde and walking across campus and shared one too many of his courses.

“No, Gen, she’s just too gorgeous, it’s unbelievable. I think I am in love.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to happen, but congrats.” 

Ted adored Niall immensely when he was bringing more business to the pub and getting the word out, not when he was a blubbering mess on the sticky countertops. He sipped his drinks like water to the point that Ted would morph into a psychiatrist. This happened so often that it had become a ritual. The day Niall stopped burdening him with his problems was a day that failed to exist. 

Much like her room, the small flat didn’t have the lights on. Genevieve didn’t need them to navigate her path, her fingers haphazardly pulled on her boots and plucked the bundle of keys from a mug. 

Her car, a well-loved hand-me-down, was nothing lavish. It got her from point A to B without much resistance on good days. Her foot eased on the gas, with the route was well versed and memorized. After a couple of stop signs, her destination would be reached. The streets were empty and not one car was spotted at any intersections. 

A light breeze roamed around and brought goosebumps to the surface of her skin. She should’ve brought a sweater, she thought, as her teeth began to chatter. Her dark hair was haphazardly twisted into a bun and rested on the top of her head. The car door shut behind her as she quickly jogged across the street to where the pub was located. 

The street was lonely. 

There were only a handful of people that would be up at this hour. This subgroup of people definitely did not include her. She thought she was still partly asleep when there was a familiar figure pacing down the sidewalk towards her. Maybe it was the dark, but even after she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palms, the slope of the person remained familiar. As they got closer, the once blurred image sharpened, and she felt her stomach flip. 

A slight panic arose in Genevieve’s eyes. He was too close of a distance for her to dash through the doors, and it would’ve been clear that she was making a run from him. She doesn’t recall when exactly their encounters began to turn dreadful. But the reality of the situation wasn’t how, it was the fact that they had. This was the second time he stood across from her. The rate of their reunions was at an all time high after years spent apart. It made a heavy weight rest on her chest, her own personal Sisyphus boulder. 

Tiptoeing and maneuvering their way around each other was the hardest part. There wasn’t a book in the world that taught you how to stand across someone that you once spoke to every day. There was a time Genevieve could tell what each tilt, rise, and fall of Harry’s face meant. How do you go from sharing friends, laughter, a life, to becoming nothing short of hollow strangers? As they stood across from each other on an empty street, they only shared blank stares.

“Hi.” His breathing was a bit uneven, and Genevieve saw the beginnings of roses bloom on his cheek under the streetlights. His moose coloured hair was tucked under a beanie and there was a slight stubble on his chin.

“You are running?” Genevieve squinted at him. Navy gym shorts hung off his hips and a full sleeve athletic shirt was on top. “At five in the morning?” 

Genevieve hated how Harry looked brand new. In the midst of a mountain worth of chaos and hurt, how he managed to look shiny, pre-packaged, and unopened was well beyond her. She had to hold herself together with her bare arms when her seems unravelled. Harry was happier before Genevieve and it was something she had to be okay with. There was no specific reason why. It was just how reality worked. 

“By the time I’m done, it will be six. I’ll have to get up anyway.” His shoulders rose and fell in a mindless shrug. Genevieve brought her arms to fold across her chest, her fists cuddled under her armpits to trap heat.

“You’re insane.” Genevieve shook her head. The neon trainers he had on rivalled the brightness of the open sign hung on the doors of The Cabinet. When Genevieve thought she had made enough of an effort at a civil conversation, she turned around to push the heavy glass door. There was nothing else to say to him.

Conversation with Harry wasn’t always a chore. She was able to speak without having to think twice or second guess herself. Now, it seemed like every word led to a dead end of an inescapable maze.

Genevieve accepted that Harry was no longer the person she came to with her favourite songs, books and a cup of tea. She wondered if whatever reminiscent memoir she had in her memory of him served true till today. Her Harry was never the sober driver or the early bird runner. She did not expect him to stay the same. No, that would be cruel. But a small part of her wanted to know if she had known him at all. 

Before her weight gave to the door, his voice chimed up.

“You’re drinking?”

“God no, I’m, um—No. I’m here for a friend.” Genevieve paused, a deep breath circled her lungs and helped her string some words together. “He’s gone a bit over the top.” She chuckled. It wasn’t soft and light, but rather felt like sandpaper. 

“Oh, right. ‘Course.” Harry rubbed at the back of his neck with his fingers. He blinked to the ground, the cracked concrete suddenly became much more of an interest. “I wasn’t— it’s just, I run this route every morning and I never see you and maybe I thought—”

“It’s okay, Harry.” He began to run his fingers through his hair, the beanie scrunched in his left hand. “I really need to help my friend, yeah?” 

“Right, I’ll see you around?”

Genevieve left his question hung in the air like forgotten laundry on a washing line. She thought it was better than saying I hope not. She didn’t want to mention that she tried to avoid him to the best of her ability. Genevieve knew his habits, his patterns. She had knowledge about places he went to, so, naturally, she didn’t. It was a triumph for her to go without months of seeing him. But there was only so much she could do. Juggling probabilities of his whereabouts would never assign her a one hundred percent assurance of erasing him, even with a ninety-nine percent confidence interval.

“Genny?” he called out again. The rational part of her wanted to pretend she didn’t hear him and walk through the door. Instead, she took a breath through her nose and turned around slowly. She wrapped her arms tighter together as the temperature dropped by the second. “Um, do you think we could talk sometime?”

There was a frailness to his voice. He was nervous. Genevieve knew this because he had made a mess of his hair with the number of times his fingers combed it back. 

The next words off her tongue painted a sad smile on his raspberry chapped lips. He looked exhausted, the grey shadows under his eyes beckoned her to not beat around the bush.

“We are talking, Harry.”

Confrontation was a foreign concept to Genevieve. Brushing it under the rug and forgetting about it seemed the best way for her. If it is out of sight, it will be out of mind. But Harry had other plans. He wanted to strip the house down and uncover every corner Genevieve thought to be her hiding spot. It was an intrusion and she didn’t want him to come knocking down doors. 

“No, I mean—”

“It was nice seeing you,” she said, her mouth set into a thin, straight line as she held eye contact. They were still the same deep green with golden flecks. She had seen them angry, hopeful, teary, but right now they were desperate.

The slight tilt to her head told Harry not to push it. To leave things as they were. He served as a walking reminder of loss and all the things she wanted to forget. Their situation did not have to go back to a normal distribution; their data was skewed, and the standard deviation was large enough to wedge a significant distance from their past to present.

Change was good, even if it was different. Over time, the further apart she was from him the better it was for her. And she hoped it was the same for him.  

No one warned Genevieve that holding a grudge required discipline and so much energy. She felt drained, her bones became weak enough they could snap in half. There was no brochure that outlined the ins and out of the process. Your brain worked overtime to disguise clenched jaws and tight fists without any compensation.

On the surface, everything appeared smooth and stonelike. Beneath, lied the hot white anger. That type of anger was something no one wanted to intentionally claim; it was an orphan. It builds and builds and builds until you cannot see through it. You’re blinded, you’re revengeful. 

“Yeah.” Harry swallowed a lump in his throat. He teetered on the balls of his feet and toes with his bottom lip caged between his teeth. He was debating on what to say next, and Genevieve wished it would be something short and quick. She wanted him to say a casual goodbye that was heard between strangers in a coffee shop or book store. Something that didn’t make her want to burst into a river of tears. “One more thing.”

“Hm?”

“Nice shirt.” There was a quirk to one side of his mouth where a dimple had coined itself on his cheek. It was an innocent compliment. Something a friend might say to another. Before she could give a reply, he had turned around and broken into a light jog.

Genevieve watched his figure become muddy until the darkness hid him completely. It was an odd thing to say, her appearance was something she could give less of a shit about at five in the morning. She had literally gotten out in the clothes she slept in. 

Genevieve brushed his words off. She wanted a dry goodbye and he delivered. It was nothing more.

Without thinking twice, she pushed the doors open and warmth from inside greeted her. The pub remained looking the same since she had walked in with her two best mates three years before. It was a hole in the wall, fixed in between a thrifting and convenience store. It littered with mismatched chairs and alcohol stains, a pool table and dart boards lined the further corner, and a random sports channel glowed on the box TV. Niall’s blond hair was easily spotted; it laid on the century old cherry wood bar. The posture his back was slumped on the stool insured neck cramps.

The doors behind the bar came swinging open as the bells above chimed of her entrance. A rag rested on his shoulder and he wore a well loved band shirt from his touring days. For someone who was found frowning on most days, Ted beamed a smile at Genevieve. 

“Good! You’re here!” His shoulders dropped in relief as she made her way closer to her friend. “He’s been miserable.”

“Gen? Is that you?” Niall grumbled from his position. “Oh, shut it, Ted. You’re giving me no option but to take my money elsewhere,” Niall slurred as he lifted his head off the wood. There were lines indented on his cheek from his possible snooze. 

“Those are empty words.” Ted rolled his eyes easily and used his rag to clean up the surface that Niall previously occupied. 

“You know what else is empty, Theodore? This glass!” It rattled against the countertop when Niall dramatically set it down. 

Ted’s shoulders shook as he chuckled, crinkles lining the corners of his eyes. “I’m not pouring you another drop, mate.”

“Who said it was for me? Have you seen Gen? She looks proper in need of a few.”

With a deep sigh, Genevieve took the stool beside Niall. Her head slowly turned to scan the pub. A place that was the heart of loud laughter and cheers was dimmed down since they were the only ones. With her elbows propped up on the counter, she pressed her index fingers to her temples. 

“You do look a bit poorly. Under the weather?”

“No, not at the moment,” she sighed.

“Well, you look like shit,” Niall blurted.

“Thanks, Niall, really.” Genevieve glared with a frown. “Remind me to never do a kind thing for you ever again. Sorry I wasn’t in full glam when you called at ass crack of dawn.”

“Did you see a ghost or something? You look sick.” Niall squinted his eyes and pinched her cheek between his thumb and index finger. It was rather quickly slapped away with a snarl. “Ouch!”

“Nothing a pint can’t cure.” A tall glass slid in front of Genevieve. Condensation dripped and pooled on the counter. The frothy foam rested on top and sat at the rim without tipping over. “On the house.” 

A Stella didn’t sound like a bad idea to Genevieve. She felt like she deserved one. After all, two encounters with the person she disliked the most was beginning to become exhausting. The car keys weighed down in her pocket, her bones ached and her temples pulsed. A tired yawn stretched her face as the drink laid rested on the cherry wood. 

Niall scoffed as Genevieve stared at the drink for a moment too long. “If you don’t take it, I will!” 

His fingers crept to grasp the glass, and Genevieve batted his greedy hands away. “Paws off, Niall.”

A cold drink couldn’t hurt, she decided. The first sip eased the tense muscles in her shoulders. Niall found a basket of chips to pick at in the meantime. He probably ordered them to soak up his alcohol intake.

Genevieve could hear Ted in the kitchen. The shifting of pots and pans meant that he was officially closing up for the night. She thought the least she could do was flip the remaining barstools on the counter. 

In the two seconds that she had abandoned her glass, she had turned to see Niall gulping like fish.

“No more!” He made a strangled sound as the rim was pulled from his lips. “Don’t need your puke in my car.”

Genevieve threw back what was left of the drink. “You could just pull the window down and I’ll mind me business.”

Genevieve squinted her eyes to catch a better look at Niall and she noticed he was turning a few shades greener. He had on a dopey grin and his eyes were almost shut. Niall became whiny when he got sick, and if Genevieve were to let that happen in the pub there would be no chance of him leaving.

“How about we get you to an actual sink, yeah?”

With an arm thrown over her shoulder and Niall almost near collapsing on her, she yelled a farewell to Ted. He was more preoccupied with rubbing the stove clean but he got the message, yelling muffled goodbye of his own.

The car parked across the street never felt further away. Niall was in his own world, mumbling some drunk words into her hair. Genevieve caught some that thanked her for taking care of him. She took each step slowly. 

Getting Niall into the passenger seat was a process, one she thought she had got down pat. She had done everything as planned, put his head to the right, made sure he had enough room to stretch his legs and of course, double checked to see if he had his phone and wallet on him. Apparently, this was taking too long and Niall reached over to slam the door shut.

Genevieve had jumped back just in time that no fingers were caught between doors. She sighed in relief before shooting a glare at Niall. He looked at the fabric that stretched from her stomach. “Oops?” 

Genevieve rolled her eyes at Niall, who burst into giggles because it turned out everything was more hilarious at 5:00 a.m. She tugged at the material.

It was old and ratty. It was two sizes too big and hung off her frame, there were stains, holes, some she never remembered putting in herself. It took her a moment, with the fabric bunched between her digits, the gears in her brain set into place. The sharp intake of breath hit the back of her throat and the air on the street suddenly froze.

***

October 27, 2019

“It’s stupid, Gen.” The clicking of a game controller didn’t halt. The animated character on the screen ran towards a glowing torch. Jonah adjusted the headpiece he had on over his ears, probably muting himself so the other kids wouldn’t hear Genevieve lecture him. Beside him sat a bowl of finished popcorn on the sofa, like his player two, and unpopped kernels rattled every time he enthusiastically surged towards the TV screen.  

“This is due in two days, Jonah,” Genevieve emphasized. She had unzipped his backpack. His agenda was hard to read, his chicken scratch writing almost made Genevieve mistake a significant date for scribbles. It was for his English class, something that he had yet to mention, which Genevieve found odd because he always told her about his school work. Okay, it was more like Genevieve made sure he told her, but same thing regardless. “How are you planning on starting and editing and finishing it?”

She knew better than to talk to boys in the middle of a game. There was no use. Her experience regarding it only went one way, everything went in one ear and out the other. It was fascinating, really; their eyes would glaze over and for a short ten minutes the real world wouldn’t exist. They would become so immersed in whatever universe was in front of them. It had been once explained to Genevieve as almost the same thing as reading a good book, but with the exception that the player was put in charge of the main character’s decisions. 

His tongue poked out at the side and the Playstation keys were innocent victims to his quick jabs. His shoulders deflated when the message on the screen informed him of the scoreboard. He grumbled something under his breath before his miniature joystick highlighted the option to opt for another round. “I’ll edit it while I’m writing it.” He shrugged mindlessly. 

“I’m being serious.”

“I am too.” 

“What’s up with you? You usually love finishing your assignments for Mrs. Yu’s class.”

“Look how stupid the prompt is,” Jonah grumbled. Genevieve’s fingers were already pulling out a crumpled rubric and pressing it flat so it stayed without folding in on itself. Eyes scanned the short blurb of instructions which Jonah soon summarized. “Pick a month and personify it. What type of pretentious—”

“I think it’s very neat. Creative. Have you selected a month yet?” 

“Sure.” His flat tone said otherwise.

Genevieve rolled her eyes at his antics. “If you don’t spend enough time on this, she will give you an easy fifty. That will bring down your average and universities look at that. What will you do then?”

She reached over to the table to take a sip from her water bottle.

The Smalls residence was the same layout when compared to her flat, so it didn’t take long to get familiar to it. Granted, it was more furnished and had Jonah’s gaming consoles already hooked up to use. The latter being the deciding factor of Jonah’s executive decision to procrastinate his work for another week. Usually, Jonah would pop in after school to Genevieve’s, but she had just returned from a shift at the diner and his door was cracked ajar.

Like many days, his father left for the construction site and wouldn’t be back until after dinner, and the only appliance Jonah knew how to use was a microwave. Genevieve had some food which Walter packed for her and it was more than enough to share with a growing boy. His diet was worse than hers. He could go weeks on Pop Tarts and Twizzlers from his cafeteria vending machine. Plus, he wasn’t bad company to have around. 

“Easy. Play the dead mum card. Works like a charm.” 

Genevieve spluttered the water out, coughing since it had gone down the wrong tube. 

“Jonah!”

Her jaw went slack and her eyes widened, a slight worry arose. She wasn’t well versed on the ins and outs of parenting—she preferred to see him as a younger sibling— or child trauma, but even she had a hunch that there was something troubling and incredibly off about the way he had referred to the passing of his mother so nonchalantly. 

“What?” Jonah asked, dumbfounded. 

“You can’t just say stuff like that!”

“‘Course I can. You have no idea the amount of pity and sympathy they throw at your feet. At first, I despised it, because obviously I wasn’t a knocked over puppy like they were making me out to be.” His character on the screen jumped to deflect an obstacle. A triumph smile was the direct result. “But then, I was like what the hell, you know? Like if it’s there already, why not play my cards right and score some sort of advantage from it?”

Genevieve blinked. She tilted her head to attempt understanding his analogy. 

“Well, that sure is one way to look at it,” she said after a short pause. “But I am not gonna let you do that to Mrs. Yu. Something tells me you’ve already done it one too many times.”

He paused his game and finally turned to her, giving her more than his side profile at last. A hellish grin split his face. “How else do you think I got a month extension on that book report and a perfect score on our last quiz?”

“I don’t know… I had assumed hard work and honesty?”

“Wake up, Gen! This is the real world and the rules are different in this game!” 

“Alright, bud, you’re cut off from this game.” Genevieve pushed the power button on the TV remote that laid limply to her right. The screen became black with a click. Jonah’s back hit the backrest of the sofa, the bouncy cushion slightly propelled him further before absorbing his weight. “Let’s at least get started on a rough copy, how does that sound?”

He groaned with his head tilted back and eyes shut. “Excruciating, torturous, maybe illegal.”  

“I’m asking you to get a start on your project, not abducting you.” His pace to grab the rest of his belongings from the table two meters away from him could rival a snail. “Now, do you have a month in mind?”

“I was thinking maybe like February, December, or even October.” He opened an empty page in his notebook and clicked the top of his mechanical pencil to give away some lead. “Because, like, it will be easy to build a character off them because they all have some sort of festive holiday thing to them.”

“That’s a great start. But don’t you think it’s a bit expected? It is a creative piece, so let’s maybe brainstorm something out of the box. Try picking a month that doesn’t have a holiday attached to it.”

He sighed deeply through his nose. The thought of putting in a smidge bit of effort was like pulling teeth.

Jonah had started to doodle in the margins. He drew three tallies, evenly spread, and added another row of them. He then connected them in a way which Genevieve recognizes to be the symbol on a superhero’s chest. 

“August?” 

Genevieve swallowed a bug.

“Why did you pick that? What significance does it have to you?” Genevieve doesn’t miss a beat, it aided to mask her surprise. 

“Well, I don’t know!” He throws his hands up exasperatedly. “You said pick one, so I did.” He pointed out, his tone reminded Genevieve of how a middle schooler says “duh”. 

“Come on. Think a bit.” 

“It’s like... sort of like the last month of summer and it brings in fall. Which is the season where we witness life slip away, but barely because it happens so slowly.” 

Genevieve’s heart swells for two reasons. Jonah was a bright kid, well beyond his age. It was something he hid and purposefully tried his utmost best not to let shine through. Genevieve had guessed the reason behind his reluctance was mainly because Jonah was at that age where he just wanted to fit in and not stand out like a sore thumb. But every once in a blue moon, he would slip up. When he allowed himself to think out loud, his ideas lined in a way where it wasn’t just the tip of the iceberg anymore. The depth gave away his brilliance. 

The first time Genevieve was left speechless by him was when he analyzed one of his favourite comic book characters with an intensity that put the burning sun to shame. Then again when he asked her to edit his essay on a world issue. And once more when he asked her how to approach a girl in his science class that he clearly fancied. Genevieve tried to define this tendency of his as a recurring variable in Jonah’s equation. 

In many more ways than one, August held an importance like no other to Genevieve. It was a month that was easily overlooked because it was caught in a war for attention between the summer months and upcoming winter holidays. Its propinquity to strong competition was something that made it easy to forget. If it was a person, she was sure it would be a quiet boy around her age. Probably with a penchant for befriending girls and breaking hearts so slowly that you don’t even know it’s happening. 

Genevieve hummed in agreement with Jonah. 

“Go on.”

“Let’s say if I were to go with this month, I wouldn’t focus on death because that would be something colder, like December or January or like the first snowfall.” His pencil sounded against his notebook. A string of notes were effortlessly coming together as Jonah continued. He suddenly stopped writing and his face scrunched in thought as he stared at the blank TV screen with as much focus that could convince you it was on. “I think August is knowing you’re losing someone or something without the assurance of finding them again... and letting it deliberately happen.”

“Isn’t that almost death?” Genevieve raised a brow. 

“Almost, but not quite.” He tapped his pencil to the metal like coils that ran down the side. “August is loss, parting away. You know, something along the lines of donating old clothes, a friend becoming a stranger, even placing car keys somewhere different.”

Genevieve knew exactly what he was talking about. She couldn’t really describe the feeling of losing a friend in words with sharp precision. It was the same as repeating a word again and again until it came to the point you deluded yourself into thinking it belongs to another language completely.  

Jonah peered up, awaiting a response or another prompt to further his development. Instead, Genevieve smiled sadly and shakes her head. 

“What?!”

“Nothing.” She laughed softly, a bit winded.

There was just something about him that was light years ahead. Something so pure and good and applaudable that made you think about the character that so many adults lacked and how it was sitting in front of you in a corked up bottle of a preteen boy. He had lost his mother, his father wasn’t around, he didn’t have many friends at school, and he picked the month of August. He had hit the nail on what it was so eloquently that Genevieve could burst into tears. But she refrained, instead opted to narrow her eyes jokingly his way.

“You’re just too smart for your own good, is all.”

That night she went to sleep thinking about August.

How he probably wore wrinkled shirts so effortlessly, with his hair in a gentle disarray. People would make a note to comment on his ridiculously long eyelashes, but she favoured his eyes. They were round and shiny and reminded her of a cloudy marble, the colour of slate. He was charming but had an air of coyness about him that was inviting and deliberate. With skin the colour of oat and a smile like rain, it came or it didn't, he was a knockout. She hypothesized the variable that contributed to his allure had less to do with his looks and more with how he made you feel. 

He made you feel wanted, he made you feel like you were someone. 

***

October 31, 2016

It didn’t take long for Genevieve to spot him, his back was slouched against the red brick wall of a tall building. A pair of old wayfarers sat on the bridge of his nose and his arms pretzeled over his chest easily. His jaw went slack then tight, this pattern repeated like clockwork until Genevieve got close enough to notice he was working a piece of gum lazily. With his head tilted to the sky and one leg crossed over the other, he was imitating textbook boredom. 

“Do you have it?” Dried leaves crunched beneath the sole of his boots as he unravelled his legs and stood up straighter than before as Genevieve’s figure approached near. She could tell he was raising his brows, but they didn’t make an appearance, still hidden behind his frames.

“Yeah.” Genevieve dipped her index finger and thumb to the front right side pocket of her jeans. It took some wiggling to pluck out a piece of metal, smooth on one side and teeth jagged on the other. The metal was warm when dropped into his open palm. “Why the sudden need for it? Have you finally taken up my advice on actually locking your doors yet?”

It was natural for him to give Genevieve a spare key, a strategy that had served him well on multiple occasions. He had lost his more than once within the span of the first two months of getting his flat. This habit had come to a point that recovery was not an option; he preferred to keep his door unlocked anyway. Genevieve pointed out it was a safety hazard, but he liked to call it being efficient. In between locking himself out or forgetting his own key, Genevieve was a dependable solution.

“Not quite, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” She had seen his long black eyelashes hit the inside of his sunglasses, a clear indicator of him rolling his eyes. “I need it for a friend. He doesn’t have a place to stay for a while, and I offered the couch. Are you done with your lectures for the day?”

“I’m afraid not. Got one more and I’m free,” Genevieve sighed defeatedly. She shifted her bag from her right shoulder to the left. Today, she only had her laptop and one textbook, but the strap of her bag still created red dents on her shoulders from the weight. “Did you end up going to your tutorial?”

He gave her a look that was enough of an answer. His glasses rose on his face as a result of him scrunching his nose up in disgust. The tips of his mouth pulled downwards as sourness glazed his features. 

“If it’s before noon, I’m not going; you know this, Genny.” He rubbed his nose with the back of his finger. “Can I tempt you to skip by offering the first round at The Cabinet?”

“It’s like…” Genevieve glanced at her wrist watch. “One.”

“I’m not hearing a no.” He grinned, a smile pressed deeply into his face. “Come on, Gen! You’ll get to meet my pal too. I think you’ll get along really well. And Ted is offering half off today. It’s a win-win. What could be more important than good company?”

“Dynamic Systems Differential Equations, unfortunately.” The course name was a mouthful and her dull tone was enough insight into what it was like.

“That sounds like a migraine.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it.” She laughed sans humour already picturing the formulas needed for her practice problems. “Speaking of migraines, what are we doing as costumes for Hannah Morton’s party?”

He squinted his eyes and paused for a moment. Migraine Morton was a nickname that stuck onto the bottom of your sneaker like chewing gum. “Is that tonight?” 

“Well it is the thirty-first of October.” Her arms stretched to gesture towards the building she had exited from. “Do the carved pumpkins and the stick on ghost figures not make that obvious enough?”

“Fuck, I don’t know.” He winced in reply to her previous question. A fingernail scratched at the corner of his forehead. “I was thinking of piggybacking off whatever you’re dressed as.”

Genevieve’s brows creased and her head tilted. “What do you mean?” 

“If you’re Frankenstein, I’ll be the doctor.” He pointed to Genevieve and then to himself. “Bonnie, Clyde. Sherlock, Watson.” 

“You want to go coordinating? Isn’t that a bit…”

“What?” He prompted with a laugh spluttering from his lips. It was fresh and bright, and Genevieve didn’t know exactly when it would stop sounding like this. He had amusement glittering in his gaze, there was a youthfulness about him that was so prominent and bold. He leaned closer. “Are you too cool to go coordinating now? Don’t tell me you can’t sit beside me at the lunch table too.”

It was ironic because they both knew Genevieve had always chose him to split her fruit roll-up candy since pre-school. In return, he would never pick up the red smarties whenever they shared a pack because those were her favourite, despite the number of times you told her the colour doesn’t affect the taste. 

“I don’t know, a bit coupley? I mean, it worked well when we were eight. Would you think Hannah would mind?” 

To this, he scoffed.

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. Why would she?”

“She’s clearly into you, like a lot, and I don’t want to get in the middle of that. And I hear she’s going around saying that she’s your girlfriend.”

He closed his eyes gently and breathes out a sigh. “She’s not my—”

“I know that! You know that! But does she?” 

His phone buzzed and the question hung in the air until his fingers stopped their dance on the screen. He looked over her shoulder as if waiting for someone. 

“Doesn’t matter, she will soon enough.” He shrugged, his voice was distracted and far away. And that was one thing about him that Genevieve couldn’t shake off no matter how hard she tried. He broke hearts knowingly, and did it anyway. “What time do you want me to come pick you up?”

“I’m done with class at five. I’ll have to stop by Party City at six, then do my modules so that will take me till nine, then I—” Rolling tires sounded loudly against the pavement as they approached behind her. The closer they got, the less time she had to finish her train of thought. The radio was a few notches down from its max setting.

“Be ready at nine. No later.” He gripped her shoulders with both hands, brought her close and pressed a messy kiss against her hair. He smelled of cigarettes and toothpaste and beer. 

“No, I won’t be, I have to do my laundry and—”

“Great. Sounds good. I’ll see you then.” 

And he was gone. He opened and shut the passenger side of the beat up Honda Civic in two seconds. The driver was familiar to Genevieve, it was another blonde, not Hannah, with thick eyeliner. She was a regular turn up at every monotonous party thrown each weekend. She had seen her get too close to him on more than one instance. He convinced Genevieve to poke in at a few, but the scene was like a broken record and her lack of interest dwindled in them too quickly.

It once even prompted her to bring her textbook to do practice problems to keep her from falling asleep as drunk students lit up a joint around her. Every once in a while he would trap grey smoke in his cheeks and blow it directly on her face to elicit a scowl, something he found beyond hilarious when his inhibitions weren’t intact. 

The girl’s hair was knotted and she had a less than pleased demeanour, probably nursing a hangover of her own. She stomped her foot down on the gas. He didn’t even have his seatbelt done before their bodies lurched backwards and the car zoomed out from the parking lot of the mathematical sciences department building. The radio became only a faint sound away the longer Genevieve stood there. 

By the time she got to Party City, the student working behind the counter gave her an apologetic look. All the decent costumes were sold out. He led her to the back of the store where the remaining costumes were kept. Being a university student meant she couldn’t break the bank for something so trivial. In the plastic bin lied a pair of fangs and a deflated witches hat that had a tear near the rim. There were masks, but she would be better off by taking a paintbrush to her face. 

She sighed deeply, her lips pursing in thought. It was obvious her plans of coordinating were a dream far away. That was until she turned around. 

A long hat cowered in the corner. It had thick red and white stripes, she pictured it with eyeliner drawn whiskers and a cat ear headband from last year. Maybe even a red bow around her neck. What really sealed the deal for her was the red shirt hung on a hanger right above it. It had a white circle right in the dead centre. The font within the circle was a recognizable outfit from a famous children’s book character. Bonnie and Clyde, Sherlock and Watson, and now Cat in the Hat and Thing 1.

The relief that came along with not trying to maneuver creating an outfit at home was enough to get Genevieve to run to the till. Arts and crafts were not her strongest suits.

The same guy’s eyebrows shot up, surprised at her quick decision making. He shut his latest issue of Men’s Healthy Living and leaned his weight off his elbow. He scanned the items and Genevieve handed him the crisp bill. Before he could finalize the sale, Genevieve thought back to the couch friend that would be accompanying them tonight. Did he have a costume? Inferring from the fact that he didn’t have a roof of his own, a lousy Halloween costume was the least of his worries. But Genevieve found her feet trailing back towards the shop and grabbing the shirt that said Thing 2. The guy added it to her final bill and packed her belongings in a black plastic bag. 

He was late and Genevieve was thankful that her laundry was dry and folded neatly. 

---

© 2019 almondharry All Rights Reserved

Okay, I think I’m done introducing the main characters. We have quite the cast list, don’t we?

Let me know what u think! I’d love to hear your favourite parts and predictions!

Thank you eriza @booksncoffee for the banner! 

Thank you so much to my wonderful betas @adoremp3 @haaaaaaarrry @drivingmekiwi @at-least-im-1 Ayesha and Hamna! Without them, this would be a jumble of fucked up grammar bc I write at 3am. If you want to beta, shoot me a message!

Tag list: @infinitiae @sortaanonymous @sydneysuit @wonderonrepeat @confusedkiwifan @mylifeisatoilet @awomanindeniall @guccikingstyles @verorax @stylesfics-xx @stylishmuser @at-least-im-1 @mellamolayla  @thursday-iminlove @kizsyou @brassharry @kizsyou @thursday-iminlove @blue-eyes-freckles-and-a-smile @Hollydays @la-peonia

[glitterbootsharry]

20. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!”

For @oh-honey-styles’s FICSLAM. This may or may not be based on true events.

“I got my head stuck in a tree once,” I say still sitting crossed legged on the carpeted rug with Harry sitting across from me while we battle our wits in a board game. Really, I don’t know why we’re going on about with embarrassing stories while playing the word game- probably a way for Harry to cheat, but he promised not to laugh. He looks up over his hooded eyes as he presses his lips into a thing line, his brows furrowing in suit. “Like proper stuck.”

“How?” His eyes divert back to the playing board as he moves his times across to make a word with an atrocious amount of points. Clearly he was cheating. I take a long sip of wine before I dive into the story of what scarred my past self for years.

“Well, erm, I was chasing some boys,” I start to say as I look at my tiles, but I’m quickly interrupted.

“Of course you were.”

“On the playground when I was younger. They were making fun of me, quite a lot really. Anyways, there was this tree on the nursery grounds and it was forked so the two main branches were apart of the trunk, and my friend called after me, and well...”

“You looked and then you got your head stuck?”

“Proper stuck. They had to call my parents, which I’m positive they were on speed dial anyways because I was quite a handful as a child.” I place my tiles adjacent to Harry’s newest word and jot down the point I just accumulated.

“Nothing much has changed,” Harry’s lips roll into a thin line once again, his eyes glistening with joy as I hear the laughter building inside him. I cock a brow and with one final ook at me, he laughs- a deep, bellowing laugh that fills you up even if you’re the one he’s laughing at.

“You weren’t supposed to laugh, arsehole!” I stuck my tongue out at Harry who is giggling like a school girl.

“I can’t help it. You’re a proper...”

“Proper what?”

“Love of my life. I love you.”

“Mhmm, sure.”

[azza1dlou]

@disneyanimation @disneybound @disneyconceptsandstuff oi oi

What's ya think mates????

[booksncoffee]

hands off my heart, eight

We shouldn’t have kissed. We shouldn’t have kissed. We shouldn’t have kissed.

The words echo in her mind, getting louder and louder each time.

They never said they regretted the kiss but what happened to them afterwards — the heaviness between them — was proof enough that they did. Their regret lingers between them, something known yet unspoken.

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