#187 days clean but im gonna relapse tonight
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#187 days clean but im gonna relapse tonight#made it to 6 months so that's good i guess#wish me luck not needing stitches🤞#tw self harm#personal#i want to only do a few but not too shallow or too deep#i know how it goes tho and it's really hard for me to stop once i start#ugh i hate myself#i still have 3 reddish scars on my arms from my last relapse ugh (most are white tho)#need to stick to upper thighs but that's what i said last time too but it wasnt enough#maybe i shouldnt relapse. scars are annoying and dealing with the bleeding is annoying#but im doing badly in one of my classes because i turned in multiple hws late#and i have so many exams and assignments this week and yet i've been so unproductive the last several days#and i need to like express that self hatred somehow i guess?? or like punish myself?#idk. clearly my brain is really fucked up
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