#16 years omgggg

[massaccre]

Happy 16th anniversary my precious boys!!!! 💎💎🎂🔥 Let's go till the end of Earth ❤

[fxlove]

never thought id see shinee perform ring ding dong again after so long 😭😭😭😭 omg i love them so much

[shirleyjblythe]

You really don’t mind!? Because I would love to.

“Is it okay if I draw fanart of your fanfic?👉🏼👈🏼”

My brother in Christ we shall have a spring wedding

[rip-us-xoxo]

Baby number six- George Weasley x Reader (REPOST)

Posted APRIL 16, 2021

Reposted APRIL 16, 2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Request-please do a suuuuper smutty george x fem reader where george has a huge breeding kink!

A/n- I love this request sm omgggg! Thx for requesting😘

Warnings- SMUT, breeding kink (duh), dom/sub themes, a little choking, praise, a little degradation, slight daddy kink, please tell me if I missed anything!

——————————————————————————

Life with George was interesting to say the least. Besides having 5 kids already, George was obsessed with the idea of you pregnant. Almost everyday since your last child was born, George would bring up the idea of you getting pregnant again and today was no different. 

“Morning darling,” George greeted you as he walked out of your bedroom. You were just sitting at the table, drinking tea, basking in the quiet before your kids woke up. 

“Morning,” you smiled and waited for George to make his way over to you before leaning your head up to give him a kiss.

“Kids aren’t up yet?” George asked, using his wand to have a cup float to his hand. You just shook your head and took another sip. “You should’ve heard little Mason last night, baby wouldn’t stop crying, having a two-year-old is exhausting,” you sighed. 

“Well you’ve done it four times before, two at the same time! You’re doing great,” George praised and leaned down to give you another kiss, but the sound of your twins, Grace and Faith, trampling down the stairs— their names not fitting the situation at all—  interrupted your moment. 

“Mommy, daddy!” they cheered in unison while running straight for you both. Grace ran straight to George and gave him a big hug while Faith jumped in your lap, snuggling up into you. 

“Morning mommy,” she giggled, nuzzling her head into your neck. “Morning baby,” you said while stroking her hair. You looked over to see George swinging Grace around, a small smile coming to your face. 

You loved seeing George with kids, it was the cutest thing. 

“Well I guess since you two are up, daddy and I should start on breakfast for you kids,” you stated, the girls quickly shaking their heads ‘yes’ and running up the stairs to wait. 

You sighed and looked over to George, giving a mutual eyebrow raise, both knowing today was going to be chaotic. 

You and George were right, all day, it was “Mommy!” this, “Daddy!” that. By the time it was time for everyone to go to bed, George went to go tuck in your two oldest children, Fred and Sarah, into bed. Even though Fred was 10 and Sarah was 7, George refused to not tuck them in at night. 

While he did that, you were trying to calm down Mason, who was currently crying, and put him to bed. Grace and Faith were not helping you though, they were running around you with their toothbrushes in their hands. 

“Mommy watch out! It’s the toothpaste monster!” Grace screamed, and Faith ran straight into you, the toothpaste all over her face surely getting on your clothes. You groaned, hitting your limit with them. 

You guys! Your brother is currently crying and you two are not helping!” you yelled. They both stopped in their tracks and looked up at you, Grace’s eyes forming tears in them. They both huffed and ran right out of Mason’s room, followed by a loud bump and George’s voice asking, “Woah, what’s wrong?”. But no little voices answered, all that followed were two more, even louder, huffs and a door slam. 

“Hey, what’s going on with them two? I thought they didn’t get moody until they were older?” George asked, earning a slight glare from you. George put his hands up in defense and that’s when Mason looked over at George and immediately calmed down, making grabby hands at him. 

Your mouth fell open and George just laughed, “Does baby want his daddy? Yes he does!”. George grabbed him from you and rocked him back and forth a few times before setting him down in his crib. You watched in amazement as Mason rolled over, and not after long, tiny snores were heard. 

George quickly grabbed your hand and dragged your flabbergasted body out of the room. “How did you do that?!” you whisper-yelled. George shrugged his shoulders, “What can I say? Kids love me.”. 

“Well then you should be the one carrying them in your stomach because they’re little devils while I’m pregnant with them,” you said turning around to head toward yours and George’s room. 

“Nah, I like seeing you pregnant better,” George said while hurrying to walk behind you. “Well,” he thought for a second, “I guess I should say I like the night that leads to you getting pregnant,” he grabbed you by your wrist and pushed you up again the wall right by your bedroom, “and then when I see you pregnant, oh, you have no idea what that does to me.”. 

You could practically see George’s eyes go from your childrens daddy to your daddy real quick. You gulped slightly and stood a little taller, “As I’ve come to find out,” you said, acting innocent to the whole situation. 

You got out of George’s grip and started to walk into the bedroom, immediately regretting your actions and picking up the pace to save yourself from George’s sexual rath. 

You heard George growl and his footsteps quickly come closer behind you, causing you to squeak and start running. But you weren’t quick enough, George grabbed you from behind and pulled you into him so that your back was firm against his chest. 

“You wanna try running again?” he whispered in your ear. You quickly shook your head no and you heard a low chuckle erupt from George’s throat, “I thought so.”. 

After his grip loosened on you, you turned around and looked up to meet his eyes once more. They were now even darker than before, you now knew that you were either in for a rough night, or George was in his mindset where all he could think about was filling you up. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“No more wasting time, baby, I wanna fill you up as soon as possible,” he whispered harshly and pushed you down onto the bed. “Second one,” you thought. 

When you noticed that George was eyeing your body that was only covered with a tank top and pajama shorts that were obviously too small for you, you started to get undressed. Slowly though, to not give George what he wants just yet. You started by sensually taking off your shorts, looking him right in the eyes, biting your lip slightly. 

You then slowly dragged your hands up your legs to take off your tank top, but George had already had enough. “Stop being a little tease,” he growled and yanked the tank top off of you. 

He grabbed you and flipped you over, making your ass stick up, and the pair of panties you had on come flying off. “Beautiful,” he gasped, making your head duck down in embarrassment. 

You had always been insecure about what you looked like after you had your kids, but George thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world, especially because of all of your pregnancy scars. 

“I know you don’t believe me, but trust me, I am enamored by you,” George whispered in your ear, dragging his hand down your back, making goosebumps erupt on your skin. 

“I can’t wait any longer baby, you think you can take me now?” George asked, his dick obviously hurting from being contained in his pants. You nodded your head, honestly wanting him already too. 

“That’s my girl,” he chuckled. You shortly heard the sound of his pants and underwear fall to the ground. You turned your head to the side to look at him, and the sight made you involuntarily buck your hips back. 

“Patience baby,” George told you, running a hand over your ass. You groaned and rolled your eyes, looking forward, “You’re one to talk.”. 

George immediately brought his hand down to your throat, grabbing it and forcing you to be upright against his chest. 

“You really need to stop talking, little one,” George whispered in your ear. Oh now he was definitely far gone. All he could think about was dominating you. 

“Yes Georgie,” you gulped. “Glad that you understand,” he chuckled, before fucking right up into you. 

“Oh fuck!” you moaned and threw your head back. “Language,” George hissed, throwing a hand over your mouth, fucking up into you once more. Soon, George set a steady, semi-fast pace. 

Not long after starting, you felt your release coming. And since George knew you like the back of his hand, he knew you were close too. “Come on, baby, you can do it,” George grunted. George’s encouragement made you come undone within a split second. 

You came with a loud moan, muffled by George’s hand. George didn’t stop to let you rest though, he kept going, obviously wanting to achieve his goal. You were too sensitive though, you brought your hand back to grab onto George’s arm, hissing as he picked up his pace. 

“Sensitive, baby?” George asked, to which you quickly nodded your head. George stopped for a second, pulling out and flipping you over so that you were on your back, but immediately pushed back in. 

“Just relax baby,” George told you, grabbing your hands to interlace with them. You nodded your head and threw it back to try and breathe, but the only thing that came out was a fairly loud moan. 

“Shhh, we wouldn’t want to wake up our kids, would we?” George taunted. You looked up and shook your head, biting your lip to try and suppress any moans. 

After a few more minutes, you and George were both close to your releases. “I’m close,” George breathed out, “I know, me too,” you told him. 

When the knot came forming in your stomach again, George just looked in your eyes and nodded, giving you enough motivation to release. 

“Hold on, baby, I am so close,” George told you, knowing that you were going to be overstimulated and sensitive— which he wasn’t wrong— you had tears forming in your eyes from it. 

After saying that, George threw his head back with a moan, his cum filling you up. You both breathed heavily and George pulled out, quickly shoving his fingers into you. 

“We wouldn’t want any to go to waste, would we?” he asked. You shook your head and winced when he shoved his fingers farther in before pulling them out. He watched some of his load ooze out of you. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfect sight,” George smiled. You smiled too and put your hands up so that you two could go to the bathroom and get all cleaned up. George grabbed you bridal style and exclaimed, “To the bathroom we go!”. 

After some amazing aftercare, you and George made your way back to your bed, getting under the covers and snuggling into each other. 

“You think you’ll get pregnant?” George asked, hope and excitement laced in his voice. You giggled and looked toward him, “Well, you haven’t failed us before.”. 

“True,” he said cockily and pulled you closer to him, giving you a firm kiss on your forehead, “now go to sleep, my queen, let’s hope baby number six is on it’s way.”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo

[lololololchips]

in which series with SEVENTEEN || a series of smaus where the SVT members tend to leak their relationship in various ways…

Yoon Jeonghan —> read here

4th member to get his relationship exposed

his gfs name is Bora 🙈

they’ve been dating since February 20, 2024 (meaning that jeonghan is one of the few guys that have recently just started being in a relationship in this smau)

his relationship got exposed by joshua aka his evil twin

mingyu kinda ratted him out, which led to joshua following him around as he was “exposing” him in his private twitter account

he then accidentally tweeted on the main SVT account where he revealed that jeonghan was in a relationship and that’s how carats ended up finding out

we love joshua tho!!

Jeon Wonwoo —> read here

first member to get his relationship exposed!

his gfs name is lily hehe

sneak peak for dino’s smau: she’s a BIG help when it comes to his relationship…

they’ve been dating since July 14, 2020

this relationship is one of the longest in this universe 💪

members/pledis knew about this relationship but DK accidentally exposed it to carats on live one day (sigh)

wonwoo had ZERO idea of what DK had exposed until the PR nightmare happened

after lots of PR work done (poor vernon) both wonwoo and lily just decided to reveal their relationship:)))

their relationship was revealed on new years 2024!!!!

Lee Jihoon —> read here

5th member to get his relationship leaked

his gfs name is hana!!

MY STEM GIRLY OMGGGG I LOVE HER

they’ve been together since April 2, 2023 (A YEAR MY BABIES HEHE)

no one ,but jun, knew about this relationship

woozi decided to release a song where he just talking about falling in-love, and this song has LOTSSSS of stem vocab so carats are a bit suspicious…

ofc rumors go around after the song is release but no one really knows if woozi is in a relationship or not

until… seokmin opens weverse live once again; a big thank you to DK the king of leaking relationships 👏👏👏

this live was supposed to be a cute one where dk, vernon, wonwoo, and joshua surprise woozi at his studio

spoiler alert: the guys surprise themselves cause once they walk in, WITH THE CAMERA FACING WOOZI, they see hana and him cuddling

no PR nightmare this time cause DK just ends up getting banned from lives (BRING BACK MY DISPATCH KING)

Kim Mingyu —> read here

2nd member to get his relationship leaked

his gfs name is anna!! (she’s been mentioned in a few smaus as well)

they’ve been dating since August 20, 2022

dispatch was actually the one that was originally going to leak this relationship 😾

this did not end up happening until mingyu got drunk and accidentally posted a pic of him and anna kissing

EVERYONE went crazy for this one oh my

pledis paid dispatch to stay quiet and here this man comes and does it on his own siiiiighhhh

but at the end everything was fine 😁😁

Xu Minghao —> read here

3rd member to reveal his relationship

his gfs name is jae!!!

they’ve been dating since December 16, 2023 (also one of the few guys that recently got into a relationship)

carat’s actually do not know he’s in a relationship 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

he decided to soft launch his relationship to the guys but literally only jun and vernon caught on LMAOOOO

jun became really close with jae so the guys started to think she was his gf >:(

BUT THIS LED TO JUN EXPOSING minghaos relationship (only to the members tho he’s not like DK)

[weirdo09]

hobie brown

i’d just like to say, i hope y’all never meet a black boy nor man because y’all’s behavior over one black teenager is honestly disturbing.

like the racist headcanons, the not taking accountability for your disturbing fics about him because “HIS AGE ISNT MENTIONED!!” like don’t act dumb, you know them people said that he’s a slight older boy than miles which would be like 1-2 years, making him 16-17. it’s also just the “i want his dick inside of me” “i want to have his kids” and the sex hcs where it’s like “he’ll fuck you hard and not give you aftercare, just leaves you to take care of yourself.”

i’m not really bothered by the smut fics and hcs cause he is attractive and i will read them every once in awhile but y’all be taking it to the extremes, calling him toxic, making him out like some abusive boyfriend, he’s only sweet when he wants you to have sex with him, he only wants you for sex, he’s a full person but only cool because he’s in a band and has sex with you, he lets his band mates fuck you without your consent, he rapes you for whatever reason (y’all’s writings not mine), he doesn’t care about stopping to see if you’re okay or if you need a break.

basically what i’m seeing is that he’s only good for sex and some of the good fics about him only portray certain parts of him. like i’m all for writing about your favorite characters n what not but if you’re basically gonna treat his character like you’re personal boytoy and not see him as anything else, it’s really harmful. especially with y’all not tagging your fics correctly and the smut fics i previously mention get seen by a minor who would want to read smut of him but not that bullcrap.

y’all literally write him being abusive to his partner, not just physically but call it “teasing”. i’m sorry but if my partner said something about breaking up with me or that i’m not good enough, would i think that that’s just “teasing”? like honestly, if you treat all your ‘blorbos’ like this then i feel sorry for you because hobie’s an amazing character that isn’t just there for you to dream about fucking and getting pregnant by him.

he’s there to show you how corruption and fascism impacting your way of life can lead to you wanting to rebel and become an anarchist to that society. he’s there to teach you that you can make your rules, that you’re more than what one person tells you, you tell yourself what you wanna be. he’s a symbol for black people who don’t wanna follow the rules of a white supremacist, fascist society, for the people who’ve ever just been like “fuck the government, i’m my own person.”

i really feel like y’all take him for granted and he is a character for a children’s type of media so the “well minors shouldn’t be looking for his smut!!” doesn’t work here. honestly, do y’all ever care about characters that aren’t perceived as “fuckable” or “attractive” by your standards? it just really pisses me off because y’all act like that’s all he’s there for, your yearning for BBC has really dimmed your perception of this character. HES A IMPORTANT CHARACTER FOR YALL TO ROLE MODEL CAUSE ITS OBVIOUS YALL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MOVIE’S CHILD AUDIENCE BUT YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM SO

if you care about hobie, please remember that there’s more to him than you wanting him to fuck you and he would hate the things that you’ve done to him because you have bigger issues in the world than “he would fuck you with his big cock.” LIKE WAKE THE FUCK UP WE COULD BE MAKING ANALYSIS OF HIS CHARACTER BUT INSTEAD YOU THINK THAT HES JUST THERE TO BE EYE CANDY LIKE OMGGGG

just please for the sack of everyone, learn more about his character and stop tryna be antiblack and sex crazed over him. if you love hobie, just stop being the way that you are because it’s honestly disgusting to have to see grown adults wanting a canon minor to fuck them. you ain’t slick, the fact that i even have to write this is disgusting. do better, fandom is more than saying that you would fuck a character, care more about the teenagers on this site that are in the fandom with you as well. stop being selfish and start caring about the other people in the fandom.

[jazminrhode1]

Omgggg come back!! I have seen so much smut recently and I cannot dealllll :( Anywayyyy I was wondering if you could write something wedding themed totally up to you what you want, happy sad whatever I just literally finished your master list and need more lellll x Thank so much bby

The Big Day Chris Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: Heartbreak on your wedding day.

Word Count: 1375 words

Chris was sitting in the back of his parent's minivan that you had both spent countless nights in when you were teens. As they drove down the streets painted with memories of your younger years, his heart began to race.

“How are you feeling?” Nick asked from beside him.

Chris ignored the question and instead responded with, “Will you fix your fucking tie?”

MaryLou caught his eye in the rearview mirror and offered a gentle smile. You’re going to be fine, sweetheart, is what she wanted to say but, she refrained. Today was a big day and she knew that Chris wasn’t good at times like this.

As they pulled into the church parking lot, it was filled with faces from their past and strangers that somehow made the invite list. Surely half of these people were friends of your parents that not even you recall meeting over the years.

As Chris got out of the car, your younger brother ran over and pulled him into a hug. He was so much taller than Chris now. His voice had dropped an octave and Chris’ heart lurched as he recalled the 5 year old that would run down the driveway to greet him when he came over to your house.

Chris kissed your Mom on the cheek, shook your Dad’s hand, and gestured an awkward wave to people as he made his way inside. Matt and Nick followed closely offering silent apologies to people they didn’t even know. Surely your Mom had shown them pictures of you both when he was a scrawny teen and your hair platinum blonde.

Chris often thought back to the early days of your relationship and the promises that you made to one another. He always knew that he was going to marry you, there wasn’t anyone else in this world for him. He met you on the playmat at daycare when you were both 4 years old and he has been fighting his whole life for you.

Your parents laughed about the two of you growing up and falling in love. He would bring you flowers in elementary school, write your Valentine's Day cards in middle school, and finally worked up the courage to ask you out in sophomore year. It was like a love story that was always destined to be.

As he stood in the church beside his brothers, his palms began to sweat. Like the time he walked up to your front door to pick you up for your very first date or on prom night when he waited to see you in your dress for the first time. There were so many times that he waited for you with sweaty palms and shaky hands. There were so many times that you took his breath away.

He could hear the crowds filing into the church pews that were behind him. He kept his eyes fixed on the ground between his feet and clasped his hands together to stop them from shaking.

Matt placed a reassuring hand on his back as he whispered, “You got this.”

Chris forced a smiled as the organ began to play. It felt like the blood drained from his body when he heard the church doors open. Gasps and exclamations of how beautiful you looked set butterflies swarming in his stomach. 

His legs felt like they were going to give way and he did his best to stop himself swaying from side to side. Matt wrapped an arm around Chris’ shoulders to steady him as best he could. He knew this was a big day for his brother.

One by one Chris saw your bridesmaids take their place by the altar. They were all in blush satin dresses like you had always dreamt they’d be. When you were 16, talking about the kind of wedding you wanted, Chris would have never been able to imagine the picturesque fairytale unfolding before him. There was, however, one thing he knew for certain - he would have given you whatever you wanted.

As you walked down the aisle side by side with your Dad, the wedding march sounded more like a funeral procession. He locked eyes with your Mom as you passed by his pew and made your way to your soon-to-be husband.

It wasn’t until this moment that it sunk in for him that he had missed his shot. From the day that he met you, you became the main character in his story and even after you broke up, he always hoped you’d find your way back.

Even when he got the wedding invite in the post - the one he always thought would be from Christopher Sturniolo & Y/n - he pictured you calling it off and coming back to him. He pictured a phone call from his Mom saying y/n and that boy broke up. He pictured himself standing up when the preacher said speak now or forever hold your peace and professing his love for you. 

As he sat in the audience watching a beautiful nightmare unfold before him, he knew that he had missed his chance. You were marrying this guy that he hadn’t even bothered to learn the name of and, even if he did profess his undying love for you, he wasn’t sure that you still felt the same way.

As the ceremony came to an end and the crowds followed you out, Chris stayed in his seat for a while. Matt and Nick made their way back in to find him - their hearts broke for their brother.

Out of everyone, they knew all too well how difficult today was for Chris. They knew that, for him, you were it. They knew how heartbroken he was when you left. He had mourned, for years, a future that never got to unfold. 

In the bittersweet daydreams of ‘what ifs’ and ‘could haves’, Chris would take you by the hand and run back through time to when you first met. If he had his time over, he would do things differently and you would be taking his last name today.

Instead, he wiped the tears from his face and parted with his brothers. He made his way to the dimly lit daycare room at the back of the church. It was a little smaller than he remembered but, nothing much had changed.

The timeout chair that Nick spent every afternoon on was still facing the back wall. The stuffed animal that Matt would suffocate when he cried each time his Mom left still sat atop the bookshelf. The tables were still arranged in groups of four. The height chart was still stuck on the back of the door. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that you were both hiding in the play tent or holding hands as you sat on the mat.

He heard the creak of the door open behind him. As he turned around he spat out, “I’m coming.”

It wasn't his parents or his brothers standing behind him as he had expected it to be. It was you. There you were. 

For a split second, he was standing across from you at the altar preparing to say 'I do' before reality slapped him in the face and brought him back.

With a smile, you said, “I’m so glad you decided to come.”

I really didn't want to. “Me too”, he lied.

“I just wanted to say thank you," you began as his eyes met yours, "I am who I am because you loved me when I couldn't love myself. I always thought that we'd end up together but, I guess we were made for other people.”

His heart shattered as tears formed in his eyes. I only exist for you.

"But, I will never regret you or us. You are so special to me and even though we grew apart, you were the best part of my younger years. So, thank you, Christopher Owen Sturniolo. I think I'll always love you," you said as a tear slipped from your eye.

He was unprepared for this conversation. He has so much to say but, none of it felt right.

"Thank you," he said, "I am so happy that you found the love that you deserve."

You took in a deep breath as you walked over and pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around you. You held onto each other a little too long for ‘just friends’ and a little too tight for ‘strangers’.

He patted your back as he pulled away. "I think your husband might be waiting for you," he said.

"Right", you replied as you wiped the tears from your eyes. As you headed to the door, you spun back toward him, "How do I look?"

His breath caught in his throat, "You look beautiful," he whispered, "he's a lucky guy."

You held his gaze a second longer before you slipped out the door and down the hall. Someone always has to be the first to leave and you never thought it would be you. 

Chris pulled out one of the toddler chairs, sat down, and dropped his head in his hands. Nick and Matt had been waiting for him in the hallway and rushed in after you left.

As Matt knelt down in front of Chris, for the first time in their lives he didn't know what to say to make his brother feel better. He wanted to take the heartbreak from his brother but, he couldn't. Chris looked up, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," was all Matt could come up with, "I know how much you love her." Love not loved because he knew that Chris was scared that he would always love you and that he would search for you in every person that he met.

Matt and Nick helped Chris to his feet and pulled him into a hug. Sometimes there are no words that you can say to fix a broken heart.

—————

Tag list: @slaysturniolo

[nthngtoseehere-blog]

15 Day BL Challenge part 2

Original post

#16: What show has taken you by surprise this year?

Three come to mind immediately.

At 25:00 in Akasaka

I watched this recently, because I was in the mood for a JBL i hadn't watched yet. I honestly thought i wouldn't like it, and would have to find something else. But i ended up loving it.

Shirasaki was so stiff and awkward, until he got in front of a camera, or got close to someone. It was like extreme introversion, and I loved the way the actor portrayed it. Almost like he didn't think he was acting weird until someone else made it weird?

Hayama was great too, with his ennui and what he needed to come out of it.

Gif by @heretherebedork

Caged Again

Someone in another tumblr said something along the lines of "who knew the penguin and panther turning into people show could be so good?" Exactly!

I was expecting silliness, and we do get plenty of silliness. But watching Junior and Sun learn to be people, and grow to care for each other, and deal with past trauma (we are going to find out more about Sun's scars and fear of gunshots, right??) and new trauma (omgggg Junior needs all the hugs right now, his dad is pointing a gun at him!!) - it's astonishingly good.

Gif by @bl-bam-beyond

I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama

This is from 2023, but i just watched it, and it is so damn funny. The sight gags and the internal monologuing cracked me tf up. I was not expecting that at all.

I was also not expecting how sweet the main characters are. Aoyanagi is a precious lil boo, and Alan Abe pulled off Akafuji's fan boy insanity in a way that was both hilarious and adorable instead of too much.

And the two fujoshis were amazinggggg.

Gif by @itagakimizuki

[prettygirlstothefloor]

Cowboy Carter Review

sorry if i write a lot. i like to yap lol

Ameriican Requiem- i'm a huge sucker for a sitar so i was gripped in from the beginning. i grew up on country music (mainly 90s/early 2000s) and so when she showed up at the CMAs and performed with the chicks it was a childhood dream. but as a person who liked country music around the time 9/11 happened, it's only become even more racist since. the way they treated her that night even though she was one of, if not THE, best performer of the night was so upsetting to watch. even as the best artist on the planet, at the top of her game, she's always going to work a million times harder than any of her peers. i'm so proud of her being able to make a song like to this to put her thoughts out on the whole night that night.

Blackbiird- obviously everyone has heard this song before. i was unaware of the actual backstory to the song since i don't follow the beatles too much (i like george harrison but that's about it lol). i was not aware that the song the song was written for black women during the civil rights movement. i assumed the song was mainly written by john lennon who to my knowledge was kind of a grifter when it came to his activism. having this song come right after ameriican requiem is so poetic.

16 Carriages- shockingly i was able to avoid hearing this song in full until tonight. i tend to only do one single per release and so texas hold em was the one. this song is so heartbreaking because i think about all the kids in the entertainment industry who can probably relate to this song all too well

Protector- these songs she makes for her kids... i'm gonna need her to stop. not because they're bad but i straight up can't listen to blue and probably this song because i want a mom like this 😭

My Rose- i hate that this is an interlude. it's so beautiful and not to be dramatic should've been 10 hours long

Smoke Hour • Willie Nelson- idk what to say about this one lol

Texas Hold 'Em- i love this song. the only problem i have with it is it sounds too clean. like the production sounds too clean. maybe it sounds better on the radio where the quality is lower than streaming but its definitely a song that needs to be played not so isolated.

Bodyguard- there's something in this song. she channeled carole king for this on or something. it's so good instantly a top 20 if not top 10 song of hers through her whole discography.

Dolly P- once again idk what to say about this one its too short to say anything

Jolene- i mean i think the same way about her version as i do about dolly's version. why are we getting mad at these women when we should be getting mad at the men?? take away that beyonce is beyonce for a second. if she was a normal lady and this girl was unaware her man was taken, isn't that more on him than anyone? he's letting it happen.

Daughter- her voice in this song is insanity. the control she has is unmatched truly.

Spaghettii- the beat omgggg. i know this would hit so hard in a mashup with "my house" i'm obsessed.

Alliigator Tears- just from hearing snippets of the country music that's on the radio nowadays, i think this might be one of the few songs from this album that they will eat up. i'm not saying that as a diss at all. i love this song alot especially after a second listen.

Smoke Hour II- i guess i can add on here a random tid bit. i made a country playlist in preperation for the album to come out. i made it on valentine's day. tell me why i named it KNTRY. i didn't even know the "radio station" she has on the album was called that lol.

Just for Fun- i don't listen to lana del rey anymore. i had a small time during last year where i did but then she got real messy again and signed that letter thanking joe biden. that being said this song sounds identical to "norman fucking rockwell". which is a compliment because both are good songs. keep jack antonoff away from beyonce though. that's the good thing about beyonce is she doesn't sound like everyone else which he makes everyone do (yes i am a fan of him but i'm critical of his production lol)

II Most Wanted- i'm sorry i've never been a fan of miley cyrus (except for the song she did for black mirror and that one EP she put out). i want to like this song because i like aspects of the song but it being a miley cyrus song with a beyonce feature is not want i want.

Levii's Jeans- this is also a collab i'm not a fan of. i actually enjoy post malone but i would've liked to see them in a more upbeat song.

Flamenco- idk how to take this song. it's stunning as usual. my thoughts on the lyrics though is she's kinda talking to fans maybe like the OG like destiny's child fans who have started to leave because she's starting to experiment more with her sound and they miss her old sound. i would love to know her take on this song in particular. because i know so many artists who decide to change their sound throughout each release are terrified of losing fans because they're so stuck on a certain sound.

The Linda Martell Show- another one i can't say much on since it's an interlude

Ya Ya- now.... remember what i said about bodyguard??? easily top 10. idk where on my ranking but it's there. the interpolation of "these boots were made for walking" and "good vibrations". there's something about that old soul rock sound that gets me every single time. i know that it doesn't sound anything alike but "freedom" has that same vibe, where it takes alot from old 60s blues soul rock. this is gonna hit so good on tour!

Oh Louisiana- i will say i really like this interlude. second favorite out of the ones with actual music

Desert Eagle- another song she chose to make extremely short when it should've been hours long... come on B

Riiverdance- its a fun and cute song. i think the beat is good but i think i like it more on my first listen.

II Hands II Heaven- i'm hoping this will finally click for me. im seeing everyone really love this song but idk whats not clicking for me. i'll definitely keep listening to it though maybe someday.

Tyrant- someone said this is the thique of cowboy carter and yeah i can definitely hear it. it's a sexy song and it's a fun song. definitely like it alot more after a second listen

Sweet • Honey • Buckiin'- her sampling "i fall to pieces" in this song is so special to me. i do want someone to take this "honey" and add it to the end of pure/honey though i wonder if it would sound any good. i think sweet and buckiin are the best songs out of the three of these.

Amen- i love how this really rounds out the album, calling back to the first song. it feels and is a very emotional song. don't know if i'll go back to it only because i think it could make me cry lol

overall, i think it's a solid album. if we're comparing the acts, which idk how you can because they're two distinctly different sounds, i would probably still go with renaissance but there's still so many solid songs on this album that are now some of my top faves. usually i rate out of 10 but it feels too low tbh, so i'm rating it out of 100. it will definitely grow on me just like renaissance did. 89/100.

[clare-with-no-i]

20 q's for fic writers

thank you sooo so much for tagging me @kay-elle-cee I unfortunately could not approach this in a completely earnest fashion due to who I am as a person, so everyone please take this slightly ersatz set of answers with all of the love I intend…which is a lot I swear…

AO3 Username: clarewithnoi (pronounced 'clare with no eye')

1. How many works do you have on A03? lol I keep orphaning stories when they annoy me but for now 37 (I think?)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 403,419…what is this word city

3. What fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, others which I have not published lol

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

not the statistics page!!!!!!! john mulaney voice that's the thing I'm sensitive about!!!!!!

one long day (all my love will make you shake) at 1,151 WOW my god I did not realize it had surpassed 1k!!! did I know that? holy shit!

I will carry you, always at 873 ok this is also shocking but I do know that my they-lived AUs tend to be more popular and they're older so they've had time to accumulate hits

foreigner's god at 701 still can't believe this <3

theogony at 682 (!!)

growing pains at 675 another they-lived AU! I really carved out a niche early on

5. Do you respond to comments? don't look at me…I always want to…I swear I just get overwhelmed…put the gun down please…

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? uhhhh jesus idk, probably the derelict art of letting go? I don't write a lot of angst but I guess that one is on the sadder side

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? foreigner's god! or I will carry you always! in one of them I contend with reincarnation and shared grief and second chances at life. in the other one they hook up in the DADA classroom. so it's a toss-up

8. Do you get hate on fics? not really, and given the number of public fights I've had on this account you'd think that people would take their dislike of me to ao3 more often, but everyone's been remarkably charitable in that regard. thanks guys <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? only if I can exorcise personal trauma through it. or if it's 2020 and I'm dissociating in my studio apartment.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no and no one say theogony or I'm turning this bus around

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yessiree and it was not pleasant!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! a few! the ones with my permission were lovely. the ones without my permission not as much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? naur…

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? it's like a three-way tie between jily, percabeth, and zelink tbh! but I've mainly read jily fic in the past few years I think. but this answer can change dependent on me developing a new hyperfixation lmao

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? the last time I answered this question I did it as a joke and then I wrote theogony about it so I'm going to choose peace and just plead the fifth here lest I commit to another wip that'll take three years

16. What are your writing strengths? I do a lot of (an excess of) research, I'm good at description, I am funny when I want to be, I've had some really good prose moments if I do say so myself (I do)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am structurally a very weak writer, I can't be succinct, I don't have a great literature background so I never really know what I'm in conversation with and have limited points of reference for writing, I am very bad at writing characters who are subtle about their emotions/romantic feelings, I submit to time pressure and rush myself, the list goes on

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've always wanted to write a fic in Spanish omgggg

19. First fandom you wrote for? either Zelink or Percabeth when I was like 12 lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? theogony!

tagging @thequibblah yes I know you've been tagged already. cope <3 and @mipwrites go get 'em champ

[mybiasisexo]

🍀some good personal news!!! 🍀

after years of trying i am finally MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!!!

this has been a life long dream of mine! ive been trying to move there since i was 16 lmfaooo so this is a monumental deal to me ❤️. i still dont have a job but god dammit its happening and im going to figure it out lol but wooow. im still so shocked like its slowly settling in. wow me a californian crazy!!!

AND we're moving there a week before my bday so its like the perfect bday gift as well as the fresh new start for the new decade of my life omgggg cheers guys 🥂!!!!

[oya-oya-okay]

Oh, gezz

Imagine Kalim meeting Finny

It would be total chaos!

AWWWW THAT WOULD BE SO SWEET OMGGGG!!😭💗💗💗💗💗

DO YOU GUYS REALIZE THAT FINNY IS 16 YEARS OLD, SO HE'S LIKE ACE, DEUCE AND THE REST???🥺💞💞 He could probably study at NRC!!✨ KALIM WOULD BE HIS SENPAI~~😍

Also Snake, he is 18 years old, he's like Trey, Cater and the rest!!~~ as well as Soma, he is 17 years old like Azul, Riddle and so on..!💞💗💓

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

developing an idea for a pretty detailed/angsty MLP royal sisters origin AU(HCs and timeline) (Luna focused) (with a happy ending ofc) omgggg!!! (32 bullet pt.s below the cut) (comment something if I should add anything or if you have questions)

They're one year apart, Celestia is 15 and Luna is almost 14 when they become alicorns and very soon afterwards get crowned rulers, and they've had their cutie marks and been raising the moon/sun for a few years at this point.

They were both the magic apprentices of Starswirl before they transformed and became princesses (That part is actually canon I think)

Their magical abilities over the sun and moon are revered across the kingdom and they get crowned as rulers far too young because of how powerful they are. If a pony lives far enough away that they might never meet the princesses, they probably don't even know how young they are.

Luna and Celestia are both under too much pressure and it is severely Getting To Them, but in different ways.

Luna can't deal with it but it is much more difficult for her to keep her feelings on the inside than it is for her sister. Luna constantly cries and has to hide, leaving Celestia to handle whatever is going on by herself. Luna sometimes feels jealous that her sister is so "strong", but usually she just wishes she didn't have to be a princess.

Celestia can't make herself do anything besides move forward, but whenever they aren't in front of someone they have to behave for, she tends to act overly angry with Luna, Starswirl, their parents, or whoever. She is incredibly ashamed and whenever she has the energy she tries to make up for it and pretend like nothing is wrong, but Luna knows she is faking.

Luna sees how obviously stressed her sister is and tries to convince Celestia to step down from being a princess. All she wants is to be a normal kid again, she might even quit magic lessons.

Celestia works so hard to act like she's fine. She yells that Luna is the one leaving her to deal with ponies all by herself all the time, and that she should go hide in the dark for a thousand years. Their argument escalates until they fight and Celestia literally sends Luna to the moon. That happens two years after they become princesses, so ages 17 and nearly 16.

Celestia didn't know that alicorns were immortal yet, so she believed she would never see Luna again. It took another thirty or so years for her to reach her full height and power level(plus floaty hair), and all she could think of was how she would never see Luna grow up like she did. Luna would wake up after a millennium and be all by herself, just like how *she* was all alone right now. Celestia never really becomes friends with anyone for a while, and her parents never hear her even speak Luna's name for the rest of their lives.

Luna had a reputation for not liking anypony because nopony knew where she went when she disappeared to cry. When she banished and no explanation given, some noble-status unicorns started a rumor that Luna had been jealous of her sister. Celestia thinks it is selfish and cruel to allow ponies to think that of her fragile little sister, but she never disputes the rumors because she can't bear to say the truth about what she did.

Those rumors eventually become a bedtime story with an evil jealous princess with dark magic, Nightmare Moon. The story sticks around long enough that most ponies don't realize Princess Luna was real or that Celestia ever had a sister to rule with.

At some point, Celestia realizes she isn't going anywhere. She has long known the date of Luna's return and even created an annual festival as a count down timer for herself. But she never puts two and two together that she will be there to see Luna's return until that year grows very close.

When Luna is on the moon, she learns to navigate the dream realm. The moon isn't so much a place as it is a stasis state, but her mind can wander wherever it pleases. Many ponies have been visited by what seems to be a helpful spirit, an alicorn princess who is simply addressed as "Luna", but in the waking world she is known as the Princess of Dreams. She helps ponies to know what to do once they awake.

it takes years before Luna learns to access the dream realm, through sheer perseverance. She cried out one night from her own dream to another's she seemed nearby and realized she could literally reach out to them using her magic and cross in between dreams.

It takes even more years before Celestia hears about this. She halfway chalks it up to another fairy tale, something parents say to foals so they won't be afraid of the dark, or impatient or anxious for the coming day. The other part of her wishes somepony would tell her what to do in her dreams. This is nonsense of course, she is the monarch of Equestria and she always knows exactly what to do, she tells herself before drifting into sleep.

Luna doesn't exactly choose what dream she ends up in, she just follows a feeling of sorts. She has never visited her sister, but she vaguely remembers visiting Starswirl once. She spends years and years only in the dream realm and the days and nights all blend together. Whenever she is eventually released, it almost feels as if no time has passed at all, but her memory has faded all the same.

When Luna is returned, she is encapsulated in a shell made of matured alicorn magic just like Celestia's. She never really grew into it because she hasn't grown up yet. This entity calls itself Nightmare Moon, based on a powerful princess it saw in a child's dream. Nightmare Moon doesn't need anypony else, she never gets scared, she has a clear plan for exactly what to do with her kingdom, and she has powerful alicorn moon magic- she is perfect.

When Luna is freed from the shell, she is not only her teenage size, but visibly weaker from not being able to physically move for so long. She regularly zones out, but forgets whatever it is she was thinking when during that.

In her dreams, Luna is a young unicorn and her parents take care of her. Sometimes she replays a memory from what the kingdom was like a thousand years prior, but sometimes her parents are reimagined to teach her how to live in the present day.

Luna often struggles to understand modern stuff. She still uses old-fashioned grammatical structures because it's polite for her, but has picked up modern ponish language during her years in the dream realm helping out modern ponies.

With the way Celestia acts in the present, it's hard to believe she was ever the same pony Luna used to know. Celestia did eventually make other friends, as well as improved her mental health and her ruling capabilities. Sometimes, Luna doubts herself. Clearly, Celestia is a very capable leader, so does that mean Luna really was jealous and convinced herself that her sister was having the same feelings about ruling that she was just to justify wanting to step down? Was she truly in the wrong and trying to undermine Celestia's rule?

It's much more difficult for Luna to remember that far back than it is for Celestia, and her short term memory is pretty bad as well. It's hard to tell if that's because of her banishment, or because Luna always had a hard time with that sort of thing. Even now, Luna could tell you how to tell the difference between two (now extinct) wild cat species native to their mountain home, and which one was the dangerous one, but she could barely remember the events of her day sometimes.

Luna is not expected by Celestia to become a ruler again just because she's a princess. After all, just because her one-thousand-sixteenth birthday is on the horizon doesn't mean she isn't still a kid. All this is fine with the citizens because the lowkey forgot about her ever ruling in the first place.

Luna lives with Celestia some of the time, but Twilight is her guardian and her magic teacher. Until the return of the crystal empire, Cadence also frequently visited the Golden Oak Library to lighten the load, telling Twi it was just one of her royal duties, as she was the princess who often traveled for any royal duties outside Canterlot.

Luna's a little bit jealous that Twilight and Cadence got to grow up with the new Celestia, but she also feels isolated because nopony has the same complicated feelings about her that she does. Spike actually feels a similar way about Twilight, because Luna and the CMCs got to know Twilight only after her constant-study days when she'd ignore what he said, and long after she was young and hadn't fully realized Spike was more similar to a foal than a cat.

Luna probably has more questions about dragon culture than the other ponies do. Back before her banishment, the dragons were known to be another society, even if they were usually at war with ponies. Nowadays, it's been so long since contact with the dragons because Torch got bored of war centuries ago, that ponie didn't really know anything about dragons and didn't realize they had their own society and technology and language. Spike appreciates that Luna was the first pony he met who didn't think he was Twilight's tiny chubby pet at first.

When Twilight becomes an alicorn and gets crowned a princess, Luna gets pretty mad at Celestia until she realizes that Twilight is only given the amount of responsibility she is capable of, but she is still always ready to defend Twilight and stand up to Celestia.

Luna eventually gets comfortable being addressed as a princess, and even with being the ranking authority in certain situations, but she never gets the same type of ruler duties as Cadence and Celestia do.

By the time Starlight moves into Twilight's castle, Luna is beginning too consider moving out. There's plenty of space, so she gets to keep her room in the castle, but there's a whole lot of Equestria out there.

She packs light and is super chill, not necessarily the adventurer type, but she visits damn near every city on the map and meets tons of ponies her own age who she remains in contact with, before-

eventually attending Twilight's school of friendship for one term and befriending some of the other students from multiple different grades.

Yona, Smolder, Pinkie, and Maude become some of her best friends out of the canon cast, but she makes other friends too. The five of them bond over being willing to eat literal rocks, and not fitting in.

[libra-stellium]

Tracking Mars transits!

Notes from Planet in Transit - Robert Hand

Mars opposite Sun (Apr 30 - May 6)

This can be a time when some activity of yours is brought to a triumphal climax

This could be few things: my nails were so long and I was so proud of them (writing this on 6/3 and they're all broken now lmfao), i finally found a spray that worked to get rid of the mold on my bathroom walls, and I successfully made red thai curry chicken on my first try!

This activity may have started during the last transit of Mars conjunct your natal sun (Aug 26 - Sept 3 2023)

That was around the time when I started intentionally making food at home more and it was not going well lol i had chef block! And almost a year later I was making red thai curry chicken HEALED

The last transit of Mars square your natal sun (Jan 3 - Jan 10 2024) you had to face a challenge, if you survived successfully you will now enjoy the fruition of that effort

I don't remember if I faced a challenge lol during that time at work is when they asked me to sit in court with them to time the arguments for 20 days 9-5 and I thought I should quit lmao but nothing related to that happened in May....maybe it was a mental thing! I could stretch it and say that when they asked me that I panicked that I had nothing to wear (and hated my outfits the 3 days i went to court bc they ended up not needing me for 20 days lol) but in May I wore this really cute outfit out!

Mars trine Jupiter (May 9 - May 16)

One of the best transits for any kind of activity, high energy, feeling good, belief that you can do twice as much work

I did a lot! I cooked, I went to zumba, I went to get my friend a parking pass which ended up being like a two day ordeal lmao

Extremely favorable time for any physical activity, muscles have unusually good tone and vigor

Yep! Zumba was great! Also on 5/12 I got this body composition thing done at the gym and it was so funny bc as the guy is explaining to me that most people are not symmetrical he reads my results and was like "oh! I guess you are" lmaooo he doesn't know i'm a libra like of course I would be balanced on this thing lol

You are able to act with a complete picture in mind of what you are doing

I've been working on a 3000 piece puzzle and I got the bright idea to put the part of the puzzle away that I already finished bc looking at the size of it is overwhelming! I made so much progress in a couple days compared to a couple months

You can plan with greater foresight and thereby avoid pitfalls and be regarded as lucky

This! I felt so lucky getting my friend that parking pass bc we saved $55! I wen to go pick up a long term pass for 7 days and it was $150 and the guy in the office told me that if I came back the next day I could get the monthly pass for may instead half off for $95 and I was like BET and came back the next day to get it! It was also less work than the long term pass bc all they needed was my name not even a license plate

Particularly favorable time for any work that can advance your own interests

Spent time making the itinerary for my trip to Amsterdam!

Mars opposite Moon ( May 20 - May 27)

When I read about this transit I was so scared of it lmfao I was like omgggg this is literally my trip what if my bestie and I have a falling out? LMFAO absolutely ridiculous i've known her since 2007 there's no turning back now lol

Emotionally based relationships may be somewhat difficult, women may be especially hard to deal with, this transit creates emotional confrontations forcing you to master aspects of yourself you're not usually aware of, confrontations will be most powerful in your closest emotional relations

When I came back from my trip on 5/26, on my aunt's bday, after she opened the gifts I got her she told me how she shared my pics with my mom i'm NC with..... and I was like wtf??? why would you do that?? I felt so violated!! My moon is in the 8H so honestly it wouldn't be normal if I didn't get hit with some random act of betrayal from family frfr

If you are not self aware your actions will be dictated by irrational desires

I AM self aware! I was so angry at her for doing it but I didn't snap! I took 5 days to think it over before bringing it up again

Period of testing and confrontation which points to relationship tensions

yeah this was really showing how on my mom's side my aunt is bc it was so easy for her to disregard my boundaries just bc she "felt bad" my mom was sad and I honestly think it's bc I'm doing well in life so it looks like I'm the "bad person" to her bc i'm not suffering from going NC *rolls eyes*

Conflicts at this time all serve to creatively release tensions that have been buried within you and to increase your self knowledge

True! Bc what a random way to confront the whole "whose side are you on??" with my aunt willingly telling me that she share my trip pictures with the one person i intentionally removed from my life lol

Mars opposite Mercury (May 22 - May 29)

This overlapped with the Mars opposite moon above! And I avoided bringing it up again until 5/30 bc I knew i had this transit lol the boundary I set with my aunt was that she would no longer be getting pictures of what i'm doing and getting details about them bc I can't trust that she's not going to randomly "feel bad" and share with my mom and she responded "I respect your decision"

Today may be full of disputes and arguments

Not a good day for trying to settle arguments because neither you nor your opponent will budge

Your ego is thoroughly bound up with your opinions

Make sure that there’s a real issue at stake and only if you have a real position then defend it

Excellent day for any kind of mental work as long as you don’t have to work with others

Hasty because energy is high but self discipline should help

Be careful for any situation that has potential for accidents especially while traveling

Mars square Neptune (May 26 - June 2)

Deal with feelings of doubt, discouragement and inadequacy

I was feeling bad at work bc I've been so mentally exhausted I haven't been able to complete my work and I feel so bad about it like they're going to message me and tell me they know I haven't been doing shit lol

Taking the easy way will have you face even more discouraging consequences as a result

This may be a stretch but I was EXTREMELY bloated during this time because I was opting for snacking instead of full meals or just eating at weird hours instead of sticking to a schedule lol that was me taking the easy way and I couldn't sleep some nights

Your physical energies are low at this time, try to relax, body is more subject than usual to minor infections, chills, fever, and excessive physical strain should be avoided

Forgot about this transit and I went to bodypump on 5/29 and I can still feel the soreness in my armpits omg and I could barely walk on 5/30 lol I think the weights I picked were too heavy for this day

You'll have a successful transit if you conserve energies and confront your fears

I was exhausted lol mission failed! But i had fun so lol

[futuregws]

Omgggg I’m crying deuxmoi really posted about how Timothee Chalamet (prob spelt wrong lmao) and Kylie Jenner are def dating (one “source” even said they spent new years with them lol) and in a comment said that if anyone starts with that “pr bs” then she’s blocking them….

SHE KNOWS FULL WELL that most of the “relationships” she posts about are pr, either that or she’s very VERY dumb

She also whined about how people are so rude to her when someone asked why she was “so fucking rude”…. girl, you literally HARASSED me in my dms when I was 16 for asking about pr relationships💀 and it was all over my profile that I was 16, so there was absolutely no way that she didn’t know she was harassing a kid. I swear that woman is crazy

She posts shit that she knows will get people talking and she has a page that receives so many different opinions all the time and like you said 99% of the relationships she posts about are pr, and then there's also the fact that a lot of the stuff she posts is fake, why is she even surprised that people would call it pr AND why does it bother her so much that someone would say it lmao, the people that run that page are nuts I swear I do not understand how they have all that popularity with even celebs following

[datingdonovan]

Oh my, I saw you do emotionally damaged!reader?! That's so cool, I'd love to read that!

omgggg. on my masterlist some of the ones that come to mind are the Shirabu, the kenma, the Yaku, and the tendou 16+ which in hindsight was so tame idk really even why I even gave it a warning lol I was so cautious back then. anyhow. there are many emotionally damaged!reader ones if you just kinda sift through hahahaha it comes through often because when I was writing these a few years ago I was really like. fuck love im damaged lol and they are heavily self insert :) :) he he. but those 4 are some pretty good ones that deal with it explicitly and its not just implied.