#16 still suffers from that segmentation but

[dennisboobs]

do you guys ever sit and remember that dennis takes a mental health day is an episode that exists

[matchalovertrait]

Dulce is starting to feel overwhelmed! Is the pressure to win getting to her? Or is it something else...? We won't be finding out in the next segment.

Previous / Next (Transcript under the cut)

(1.) [Carlo] Tsk, tsk. They should have thought more outside the box. Also, Dulce really has to watch the time. Andrea, please check on the contestants.

(2.) [Andrea] How is everything, Chef Dulce?

[Dulce] Ehh, I'm not entirely happy with the flavor and spice, so I think I'll add some red chiles too.

(3.) I have to push through and make it to the dessert round. I think once I get there, the title of Diced Junior Champion is mine since I'm a baker's daughter.

(4.) [Alex] Hi, Andrea. Sorry, I can't really talk right now. Gotta focus.

[Andrea] Oh, okay-

(5.) [Alex] I hope she didn't find that rude. Like I said, I like Andrea. Carlo is kind of getting on my nerves, though. You're worried about time but also want us to stop and chitchat for a while? Let me work, man.

(6.) [Andrea] How's your progress, Rubiya?

[Rubiya] The jicama isn't really cooperating with me right now... but everything else is good!

(7.) [Rubiya] It'd be life-changing for me if I won. I could use that money for culinary school. There's always the regional spelling bees that I'll try in the future, but nothing is ever guaranteed in life. Take every chance you get.

(8.) [Alex] If I won, I would donate the money to the ALS Association. My grandpa in Henford-on-Bagley recently passed away from ALS complications. He was a nice man. He would take me around his farm, and he even gave some goats to my parents.

(9.) [Alex] That's why I know how to raise goats and cook the meat... hey! I guess Lewis and I aren't that much different. We know a thing or two about the farm life.

(10.) [Dulce] If I won, I would give most of the money to my mom for our bakery. There were some people who... took advantage of certain things, so the bakery suffered for a long time. Everything is okay now, but not exactly like how it used to be.

(11.) [Alex] Dang, I almost forgot about my jicama! I have to still spiralize it too.

(12.) [Mia] Wow, I've never seen such concentration from young chefs before. They are fully immersed.

[Sofia] Bring me back as a judge next season! I'll be recording a deluxe version of my album, but I'll make time.

(13.) [Dulce] Done dicing and chopping everything! I'll add everything to the pot and put back the extra things in the fridge.

(14.) [Rubiya] What a beautiful color.

(15.) [Dulce] Excu-

[Alex] Oh crud-

(16.) [Alex] Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?

[Dulce] Oh, um-

(17.) [Alex] Dulce? Are you okay?

[Dulce] Yeah, yeah, just a little embarrassed.

[Alex] Here, let me help you clean up.

(18.) [Andrea's Voiceover] Meanwhile, Rubiya is focused on her dish, as she should be!

[Rubiya] Hmmmm... is there anything else I can add?

(19.) [Alex] Are you sure you're okay?

[Dulce] Yeah, don't worry about it, but I have to go check on my soup! Hopefully it's about done, I left it simmering.

(20.) [Sofia] Good thing everyone is okay!

[Mia] Chefs, you guys have 5 minutes left on the clock! Please start plating soon.

[wholesomefluffdaddy]

Wednesday's new court mandated therapist is having her keep a journal of her thoughts and feelings. Wednesday finds this to be a complete waste of time and decides instead to use it to record her observations of her unusual roommate Enid Sinclair. Wednesday POV.

——————————————

Entry 16

Current Moon Phase: Waning Crescent 🌘

After taking some time to ponder my affliction, this supposed family curse, I decided to test it's validity. By no means was I going to deliberately put Enid in danger to test my hypothesis but I could at least give her a small fright. Perhaps a spike in her heart rate and adrenaline would be strong enough to cause me similar symptoms if there was indeed this curse.

I set about my plans in secrecy, or at the very least as much as I could with my madness demanding me to be with Enid. I was able to plan in small segments of approximately 30 minutes. I was unfortunately unable to use the full 30 minutes efficiently as about 15 minutes was spent fantasizing about Enid and 5 minutes of myself doubting whether my plan was advisable. I struggled with the remaining minutes left to me as every scenario caused me to feel immense guilt.

After six separate planning periods I finally had my solution: bees. Despite Enid's willingness to join beekeeping club at my request a few years ago she has still maintained a fear of the eusocial flying insects. I find this peculiar as she could have left said club anytime after the one time distraction I needed her to cause. I have no complaints as too her continued membership as it allows us the privacy of the club house for… other activities.

With my goal firmly set in my mind's eye I made haste to find Eugene. If I was to cause Enid a fright I wished to ensure everything was strictly controlled to ensure her safety and that of the bees. Eugene didn't seem to keen on my plan but agreed once I explained I was suffering from a familial curse and wished to test whether Enid was in-fact my soulmate. He was most generous in sharing the variety of bees of which could complete my mission. I decided to go with a simple carpenter bee. Its size and intimidation factor would be sufficient.

My plan was set in motion on an unassuming Saturday afternoon. While Enid and I were both in our dorm I sent Eugene a text message via my cellular telephone. I glanced over at Enid cheerfully decorating her side of the room for the Pagan appropriated Christian holiday. She was hanging garland when the first bee crawled in under the door. Perhaps it was the loud music or perhaps her intense focus on her task at hand but she did not notice as the bee flew around her ears. I turned around in my chair to observe the series of events about to occur.

A fourth and fifth bee had joined by the time Enid began to descend the step ladder she was using to hang her bright and garish decorations. I felt the moment she laid eyes on the first bee. A horrible tightness gripped my chest. Enid's eyes widened and I realized too late in my horror what was about to happen. I scrambled out of my chair before Enid lost her footing. Her body crashed against mine as she tumbled to the ground. She yelped at the sight of my crumpled body beneath her. The wind had been knocked from my lungs and I gasped for air. I watched in my temporarily stunned state as the bees quickly left.

'Willa!' Enid exclaimed. Her panic was my panic. The tightness in my chest only worsened as Enid fretted over me.

'Amor please forgive me!' I begged as soon as I regained my breath. Enid paused in her inspection of me and looked confused.

'Willa, I fell on you.' She half laughed as she pulled me into a hug.

'Yes but it was at my behest that the bees were summoned.' I confessed. I was unworthy of her embrace. However, she did not release me upon hearing my words.

'…What?' Enid asked slowly.

'I asked Eugene to send bees in to-' My next words were cut off as the werewolf's grip on me tightened.

'You what?' She asked louder. I could feel her hurt, anger, and confusion radiating off of her. I could not stop myself from trembling.

'Amor, please let me explain!' I gulped. A fear I had never known had suddenly sunk its claws into me. 'I am so sorry-!'

'Why did you ask Eugene to send bees to our dorm?'

'Only to give you a small fright.'

'A small fright?' Enid asked, pulling back. I winced at the look she gave me.

'Yes.' I swallowed hard. My lover was mad at me and I wished to perish.

'Why?' She asked with narrowing eyes. Death was surely upon me.

'To see if we are soulmates.' I said with haste. Enid said nothing but her curiosity was evident so I continued cautiously. 'I-I was informed recently that I may be suffering from a familial curse-' I explained all the information I had been provided rapidly.

'So you wanted to give me a heart attack to see if you would have one too?' Enid asked. I let out a premature sigh of relief. She seemed to understand.

'Yes, I merely wished to confirm-'

'You're unbelievable.' Enid huffed and released me as she got to her feet.

'But amor just I explained-!' I tried fruitlessly but it was clear Enid did not care to hear anything else I had to say.

'Just stop Wednesday.' She barked with frustration. I fell mute at once. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. 'You've been in therapy for a while so can you please stop and think about why I might be upset?' I blinked slowly as I stared at her. Even in her state of fury she was simply stunning. As soon as she opened her eyes again I hurriedly looked away.

'Yes… I shall consider-' I began meekly. The door to our dorm room slammed shut. Enid had left. I felt numb.

As of writing this, Enid has still not returned. I miss her dearly and I have had much time to reflect upon my erroneous actions. I only wish for Enid's return so that I may beg for her forgiveness.

"Enid! What's up?"

"I'm coming over."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"…"

"Wednesday?"

"Wednesday."

"Got it. What'd the pint sized terror do this time? Hiss at any more cats?"

"She tried to scare me half to death with some giant bees."

"Yikes."

"Yeah."

"…Did she give any reason as to why? Or is it just a Wednesday thing?"

"I'll explain in a minute. Open your door."

"Uh! I'm gonna need you to hang tight for just a moment!"

"Why?"

"Hi Enid!"

"Divina? You're over-? Oh!"

"Sorry pup! Just give us a minute to uh get decent!"

"Oh! Hi Wednesday!"

"Eugene."

"Did the bees work?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"What do you mean unfortunately?"

"I have a favor to ask."

"Sure?"

"I'm dying."

"Oh my god. Did we kill Enid!?"

"No but I was able to confirm the validity of my family's curse."

"Wait, so you're both okay? Or badly injured?"

"Our physical health is fair if not mildly bruised."

"So why are you dying?"

"I… I have invoked Enid's wrath."

"Did she try to kill you?"

"No but it is apparent that I have irreparably damaged our relationship. She… has abandoned me."

"Wednesday are you safe right now? Where are you?"

"I am safe from outward afflictions. Inside however I feel my life force draining."

"What does that mean? Are you still in your dorm?"

"I do not believe it is possible for an Addams to survive if their soulmate ceases to love them in return. I shall await my inevitable demise in our dorm room."

"I'm getting the nurse."

"There is no use. Please find Enid and inform her of my sincerest apologies."

"I'll do both. Hang on Wednesday!"

Dear Diary,

️😑 I'm in love with an idiot. Wednesday still doesn't seem to fully grasp the concept of love/relationships. Today she tried (and succeeded) to scare me half to death. 😵 She said she did it to see if we were soulmates - Which like sounds all sweet and everything but why couldn't she have just talked to me about it first? 😣 Apparently she did it because she's worried about some sort of family curse?

Oh Wednesday…

Anyway, she had Eugene send a bunch of bees into our dorm while I was putting up Christmas decorations. 🐝😱😵 I kinda blew up at her and left to go cool down. I was only gone for like maybe 10 minutes or something. (I couldn't stay mad at her) And when I got back I saw the academy's nurse leaving our dorm! 😱 I ran inside to see Willa laying on her bed with her arms crossed over her chest, which is normal but still, while Eugene talked to her.

I run over and Willa goes through like 5 different emotions in a second as soon as she sees me. She's surprised 😲, then happy 😃, then worried 😥, then scared 😰, then sad/guilty 😭. Eugene looks between us, apologizes for the bees, says goodbye to Wednesday and leaves. I sit down beside Wednesday and ask what the hell is going on.

She takes my hand and starts apologizing profusely. I tell her I accept her apology and ask why the nurse was in. She said she was dying (something about it having to do with the 'family curse') because she thought I didn't love her anymore. 😑

…

I tell her she's stupid and I still love her. (Babycakes is so dramatic! 😅)

Then I made her help me finish decorating as her 'atonement' before smoothing her with cuddles after. She looked like she could use the reassurance.

[misscammiedawn]

What are some of your best/favorite/most memorable media moments/segments you've experienced recently? Why those moments?

I'm just going to gush about the Emelan/Circle of Magic books by Tamora Pierce for a while.

This post contains full spoilers for the Emelan series, particularly Circle Reforged and Will of the Empress.

@daja-the-hypnokitten (name not a coincidence) got me interested in reading Tammy's work after we started dating last year and I burned through all of Tortall in a matter of months.

I haven't read this much in my life. Normally 2-4 books a year was me at my peak. So far I am on 25 and I'm still working on another 2 at the moment and am preparing to tackle another 3 if I have time before the next Numair book.

In recovery I have read Shatterglass, Will of the Empress and Melting Stones.

I also just finished Cold Fire days before the surgery.

I'll focus all my thoughts on WotE though. Because it is the culmination of the series (and also it's been a few months since I read Briar's Book).

The Circle of Magic series is about 4 traumatized children who for reasons are without family and are raised in a monastery dedicated to natural magics. Each of the 4 have ambient magic and after the first book a deep psychic connection to one another that causes them to bleed in to one another.

One of the 4 is as blatant of a BPD allegory as can be (albeit Daine is still my BPD projection character for Tammy's works) who was expelled from her family and overheard conversations where she was treated as an unwanted *thing* to be gotten rid of and one grew up in extreme poverty and is defined by the class divide between his roots and his current circumstances.

So I see a lot of myself in them. I'm not always one for reading books as a mirror, but if they're going to show me a character who has deep seeded abandonment issues because her parents literally kicked her out then I'm not going to turn my nose up. Especially if she has red hair.

This book involves the 4 of them returning from their travels in the prior quartet, bearing scars of further trauma as each of the Circle Opens books involves them being up against literal murderers and being forced to grapple the ethics of justice. Daja brutally incinerated a man she thought of as a friend *as a kindness*, Sandry performed corrupted magic and killed 3 people who may not have deserved to die. Briar's trauma runs so deep that we do not even get to learn about it for another 2 books. I still haven't read what hurt Rosethorn's boy so badly, though I can imagine it pretty well after seeing him grapple with his PTSD.

They are wounded. Hurt and defensive.

And the home they wished to return to, a monastery cottage, turns them away for being over 16 and no longer pupils. 4 orphans out on their ass, hurting deeply and feeling completely abandoned in their suffering-- worried that their Family, the 4, would reject them should they open up about their experiences.

Which brings me to the first of the 4 scenes I wish to talk about.

The first chapter of the book was hard for me. Daja was the first to find out that she was no longer welcome at the place she called home. Her teacher was foolish about how he handled it and Daja went cold and stoic. I've been Daja in moments like that. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes when something you cannot process is coming you simply don't think about it and reject it when it comes about.

Daja ends up buying a house, something her mastery of Smith magic allows her to do, because she needed to have something... some*where* that couldn't be taken from her. She expected her siblings to live with her when they returned. Over the course of 2 years Tris and Briar do return but Sandry remains with her uncle-- all 4 of them have closed off their psychic connection from one another. Sandry is being emotionally immature because she felt abandoned by her Family and expected them to go back to How It Was. Tris, who has found herself unable to make money, hates the idea of charity and insists on acting as a maid and Briar is dealing with trauma and keeping everyone at distance and cannot handle the chaos of the household and the flying green thing is creating constant chaos.

The events of 6 Cheeseman Street broke my heart in the most beautiful way because for a chapter of this book I saw all these people I cared about broken beyond the ability to reconcile. I understood all 4 of them deeply and wanted them to feel better but knew it just couldn't happen. The first chapter takes place over 16 months and the dysfunction doesn't improve because none of them are capable of working on their issues or bonding closer together and the more any of them pushed the more broken things became. 3 of the 4 were living together, they had freedom, agency and respect but in the end it just was a proud and closed up artisan, an anxious and mentally unwell plant boy and a bitter red head who felt like an imposition (with flying green cutie) all suffering within a bond that couldn't open up again.

I contrast that with the ending.

Through the book's events Sandry and Daja opened up their connection and Briar opened up to Tris. The scene where Tris dryly opens up to Sandry and reminds that they are family actually had me crying.

The end of the book is when all 4 are finally connected and they go in through Briar's connection to the roof of the house they all grew up in together, Discipline Cottage. Briar says that he had spent time in a brutal war being tortured and he created this place in his mind to escape to and he was now inviting his siblings to be there with him.

The four just opened up. Shared their traumas, their fears, their pains and they reforged the connection which had been broken and felt one another's presence inside their hearts and minds again and became whole. Which just.

I cry easily, okay... and I just got back on Estrogen 2 weeks ago!

I joked to Daja afterwards that the dysfunction, the opening up, the safe space and all 4 of them sharing a common mind and needing to feel their connection to be able to be a better whole while still maintaining their individuality kind of made it accidentally better DID representation than 99.9% of the stories I've read that actually are about the condition.

Anyway...

I've been enjoying the books a lot. They helped me survive the rough half of my recovery cycle.

[bllsbailey]

HOT TAKES: Roseanne Barr Helps Ratio Stephanie Ruhle's Ridiculous Defense of Kamala Harris

Kamala Harris was supposed to give her first real economic policy remarks on Friday in North Carolina. 

What she proved in those remarks is that she doesn't understand economics. Plus, she provided some perfect material for an ad for former President Donald Trump and admitted how prices had gone up in so many ways, including for groceries. 

Basically, she admitted prices were higher now [under the Biden-Harris administration] than under former President Donald Trump. 

We couldn't have said it better ourselves. pic.twitter.com/W9H1CSDZlA— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) August 16, 2024

READ MORE: 

WaPo Busts Kamala in Glorious Op-Ed Linking 'Communist' and Her Proposed 'Price Controls'

There's a Truly Awesome New Ad for Trump...Featuring a Little Help From Kamala

How desperate is the media to defend Kamala Harris after she basically undercut her candidacy with her own words? 

MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle has to take the cake for abandoning any sense with her attempt to somehow make this a "positive" or at least not a negative for Harris.  The way MSNBC's Ruhle interpreted it was Trump can't argue that she's ignoring it. 

pic.twitter.com/q11nOjAOlS— Nickarama (@nickaramaOG) August 17, 2024

. @KamalaHarris just laid it out...   “Since the pandemic, the price of bread is up 50%. The price of chicken and beef is up xx%” ….by acknowledging the issue, she it makes it a lot harder for her opponent to claim she's ignoring it.

Wait, what? What world does Ruhle live in? 

Is that an excuse for Harris, who helped to create the problem? She directly helped by casting the deciding vote for legislation that made inflation worse.

It should be noted the Biden-Harris team lied about inflation for a long time and then they blamed everyone but themselves. They're still doing that now, blaming corporate greed. They let it fester for three-plus years as people suffered. 

On Friday in North Carolina, what Harris was proposing was $1.7 trillion in giveaways/spending which would cause more inflation, as well as price controls which would further destroy the economy. She doesn't understand (or care) what she did wrong the first time and she's promising to do it again (make it even worse). Are we supposed to believe that corporations suddenly decided to be more greedy under her and Biden more than Trump? 

It's yet another reason to vote for Trump. Even CNN and a Washington Post op-ed were calling out her plans with how bad they were. 

READ MORE: 

WaPo Busts Kamala in Glorious Op-Ed Linking 'Communist' and Her Proposed 'Price Controls'

Even CNN Notices How Terrible Kamala's Economic Proposals Are; Hosts Rip Her in Two Separate Segments

All Harris cares about is making promises to get elected, damn the consequences of those promises. 

Ruhle's defense of Kamala was so laughable, that she got ratioed into next week and appears to have deleted the post. 

As people noted: 

READ MORE: There's a Truly Awesome New Ad for Trump...Featuring a Little Help From Kamala

Roseanne Barr summed it up. 

You’re in a cult lol— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) August 16, 2024

[a-pretty-nerd]

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!daughter!reader

Chapter 17

Premis:

When The League of Villians discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought-out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you're in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word Count: 2,095

Warnings: Mentions of a P.L.F attack, cannon violence, mentions of smut but no smut occurs, (next chapter, I promise) Shigaraki flirting.

A/N:

So um....how was everyone's 2022? This chapter is kind of just a lead up to another smut chapter. It talks about smut occurring and again, if smut is not your thing you can skip the next one. But I hope you guys enjoy a Christmas themed thing going on. I don't usually write stuff for the holiday but this seemed fun.

Chapter 16

Progress has come to an abrupt standstill. You and a few others watched the news as it played from a comically large and expensive TV. A P.L.F affiliated group was busted the morning of Dec 24th. You watched it unfold as your teeth gently gnawed at the inside of your lip.

No one seemed too devastated by the news. Some critized their fellow members for being so careless and getting themselves caught. The members had been planning their own attack and the police were tipped off by an anonymous source. It felt weird. As a Paranormal Liberation Front memeber, you felt like you should be inclined to feel bad for the criminals. But as the news anchors read out the terrorists' plans to attack a very populated mall, your stomach turned.

Many around you joked and mocked their fellow P.L.F memebers. Not insulting their goal, but the events leading up to their capture. You thought their whole plan was ghastly. Disturbing the peace, just to make a statement. Killing indiscriminately just to prove a point, it made you sick. You were a P.L.F memeber, you fought for your freedom. Against the system that fails so many and kills more than it helps. A system that lies and cheats for the sake of control. To bring an end to the suffering, that is what you fought for. So no more little kids had to grow up like you. That is what you would die for.

Spinner sat close by and watched the TV intently. He rolled the lint he'd picked off of his sweater between his fingers as he watched. He muttered something to himself.

"What was that?" You asked, your voice tired. You'd been rudely awakened by Toga to come watch this news. You were still in your PJs. Spinner looked surprised you even heard him.

"Oh uh- Nothing I was just talking to myself." He tried to brush it off.

You turned away. Across the screen played footage of weapons the attackers were planning on using during the attack. It seems they were attempting to disguise them as Christmas presents.

"Authorities say the terrorists were planning on wearing Christmas costumes in an attempt to disguise themselves." The news anchor announced.

"That's so stupid."

"That's so stupid!"

Spinner and you spoke in unison. You couldn't help but laugh. The absurdity of it got to you. Spinner's face turned from shock to a amusement. He let out a shy chuckle. You shared this moment and then fell quiet again. The news continued until the segment changed to something a little more light-hearted. A celebrity charity event for the winter holidays.

"Y/N." Toga called from behind. Her voice was dull, but loud in your ear. Your muscles tensed. She startled you. You turned to look at her.

"Oh, hey Toga." Her eyes were pretty fixed on the TV. It took her a moment to remember why she approached you in first place. Her face was emotionless, she was very clearly tired. She looked at you and recited a line.

"Have you had anymore time to look at that file we collected lat week?" The file containing your medical history. The file filled with memories your mother worked to desperately to hide from you. It hurt to look at that report. More than you'd like to admit. You'd been avoiding it ever since Shigaraki gave it back to you. You swallowed.

"Uh, no. Not really. Why do you ask?" You turned to her, nervous butterflies flapping away in your stomach at the thought of her growing annoyed with you. Toga shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Boss man told me to ask you about it." She confessed. A confused smile tugged at your lip. You chuckled.

"Well I appreciate the honesty, but why didn't he just ask me that in person?" Toga sat herself down between you and Spinner, who was now making a point to try and act like he wasn't listening in on your conversation.

"I don't know, why don't you just go ask him yourself? He's just in his apartment."

"What? She's just supposed to stomp on over to SHIGARAKI!?" Spinner interjected.

"He has a point." You agreed.

"What? It's just Shigaraki."

"We watched our leader decimate entire cities and he's 'just Shigaraki,' to you!?" Spinner was outraged. Toga, was too tired to care. She slowly blinked at her peer before answering.

"What? Yeah we've seen him go ape shit a couple times-"

"A couple- A couple times!? Toga you are severely underplaying the role our leader has played."

"Look, I get that you're Shigaraki's personal yes man and all but he's not some overlord: ruler of all evil. He's the NERD that rounded up a bunch of lucky suckers, alright!?"

"He is a nerd." You agreed.

"Wha! He is the ruler of the new world we are working to build!" Spinner continued, his voice growing higher and higher with every contradicting addition to the conversation. Toga was relentless.

"You're just saying that because you're a nerd." Toga stonewalled.

"You are a nerd." You agreed with a smile.

"Stay out of this, Y/N!" Spinner squeaked. Your smile widened as you chuckled to yourself proudly. You lifted yourself from the couch and left the room as their bickering continued. You walked out into the large, long hallway. The building was massive, felt and looked more like a mall than a residential building. Which way to Shigaraki's apartments again?

You shuffled down the hall, hands in the pockets of your lounge wear. Why did Shigaraki send Toga to ask you something instead of just asking you himself? Seems a bit out of character for him, don't you think? Especially asking about something so, intense. You thought on this as you approached his dwelling. For a moment, you hesitated. Shigaraki doesn't like to be bothered. But then again, you've bothered him before. He doesn't seem to mind too much when you do it.

You grin to yourself at that thought. He's oh so fond of you. Especially after that night. The night you threw any sort of caution to the wind. Shigaraki hadn't said a word to you about it since. In fact, he'd been far too busy to even speak to you at all. Apart of you worried that you had crossed a line and made him upset. But then you thought about that night.

The way he kissed you. The way he moaned for you. The way he looked at you. You shuttered at the thought. Remember how eager he was to return the favor? You catch yourself before your knees can buckle out from under you.

You knock on the door. No answer. Knock again, you hear faint shuffling. Suddenly, a voice.

"Come in." Tomura grumbles from a speaker you'd neglected to notice by the door. You look up at the camera above the door, and you wave. The door before you unlocks, and you push forward into his humble abode.

Tomura's "apartments" is more similar to the kind of master suite a luxury tech hotel might have. There's a lot of furniture that is almost hilariously luxurious in comparison to how you were living with the League only a few months ago. You wondered why Shigaraki would even leave such a nice and comfortable home much less to live in an abandoned building.

You follow the sound of keyboard tapping. Down yet another hall, into a "home office." Tomura sits at a desk that is riddled with monitors. He has eyes on the security systems of the whole building. The two screens in front of him reveal him to be preoccupied by what appears to be a very intense video game match. You watch him play as you enter the room.

"Working hard, or hardly working?" You joked. Tomura scoffed.

"First you critique my plans. Now you're critiquing my down time?" His eyes didn't leave the screen.

"It's not that. It's just that Spinner told me not to bother big boss man while he's busy." You mocked. Tomura let out a soft chuckle.

"Spinners a nerd." He grumbled.

"That's what I said. I said you're both nerds- oh! Nice shot." You laughed as you watched him play. The match ended a few minutes later. Tomura sat back in his chair and finally turned to look at you. Something about him looking so relaxed made him so attractive.

"What do you want?" He grumbled. You took in a deep breath before answering.

"I wanted to know why you sent Toga to ask me about my file instead of asking me yourself."

"Well? Have you look at the file?" He tried to change the subject.

"Answer me first, please." You slouched. Tomura avoided eye contact.

"I thought you'd be more honest if it came from Toga." You didn't expect that answer.

"More honest? Do you think I'm dishonest with you, Shigaraki?"

"I didn't say that. And I told you to call me Tomura." He reminded. The memory flowed through your mind. The way he breathlessly whispered it to you.

"Then why, Tomura?" You asked again.

"I told you why." His eyes found you again. Clearly you were beginning to annoy him, but he was pacing himself. You sighed. This would go nowhere.

"I haven't looked at it again. I don't want to know anymore. I'm afraid it'll start another episode."

"But it's important." He pushed.

"It's my file. I'll read it when I'm ready." You said firmly. Tomura straightened himself and looked away again.

"I don't think you're dishonest with me." He spoke after a moment of silence. "You and Toga are close. She's your friend, right?" His eyes shot up to yours. You thought back to the first moment you met. How terrified you were of this strange girl dressed in uniform that had snatched you up in the gym bathroom. You smiled. How strange it was to call her friend, but how wonderful it felt to have a friend.

"I guess." You smiled.

"You guess?"

"I mean- yeah. She's my friend. But, you're my friend too, right Tomura?" You didn't expect that to make him blush and turn away. You felt proud. You approached the back of his chair and place your hands over his shoulders. "Companion, was it? That's what you called me?" He fell silent. His body stiff and warm. You could see the blush creep across the back of his ears.

"Do you celebrate Christmas?" He abruptly asked.

"Huh?" You asked, bewildered.

"Do you celebrate Christmas? Isn't it tomorrow or whatever?"

"Uh well, not really. My mom's not really into holidays. So usually Christmas was just a card and half-assed present from my Dad."

"I want to celebrate it. With you." He told you. Now it was your turn to blush.

"Have you ever celebrated Christmas before?" You asked him.

"No. But I want to." You smiled and leaned forward so that your chin rested on his shoulder.

"Funny, I expected you to be more of a grinch around christmas."

"Well, now I have someone to celebrate it with." He said it so matter of factly. "And I already know what I want." He stood. He watched him as he turned and starred at you with a look you'd never seen on him before. His expression was soft, but his eyes peirced through you. That look alone sent a chill down your spine. He took a step forward and you took a step back as you spoke.

"Yeah? What's that?" You tried to smile through your nerves as your back pressed against the wall. He took a deep breath before it shook out of him. He may have you against the wall, but both of you have turned into nervous messes.

"Do you remember..." the words faded in his throat. He swallowed and then tried again. "That night, on the couch?" His eyes looked down to your lips.

"Of course."

"You offered me-" He didn't know what word to use.

"I offered you?"

"You gave me...you-"

"I offered you companionship, and when we realized we couldn't I... I made up for it." His eyes darkened and a smile stretched across his face.

"You never let me return the favor." His face was so close. The itch to kiss him became intense.

"Is that what you want?"

"And more." His voice was so deep and confident. You couldn't help but smile.

"You really want that?" You asked, your hand resting on his chest. The way he relaxed at your touch was adorable.

"I want you for Christmas." He whispered in your ear.

Taglist:

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @kamenoyaki @hentaiqween101 @skzero-99 @justanotherlifeff @witch-o-memes @lolilith @anime-lover-forever-1127 @eatadickendeavor @tomura0complex @fangirlcenteral

[earthstory]

The New Madrid Seismic Zone About once a year, residents of the counties at the border between Kentucky, Tennessee, Missouri, and Arkansas will feel the ground roll beneath their feet. This image maps out the location of earthquakes in this area over a 30-year period and clearly illustrates a major feature: the New Madrid Seismic Zone. This zone produces about 1 quake that can be felt per year in addition to many small earthquakes…and has historically produced really big ones.

The pattern of earthquakes clearly traces out a fault with 3 segments. This fault is not exposed at the surface; these earthquakes take place about 10 kilometers below the Earth’s surface on faults that are remnants of the continent’s ancient history. The story of the New Madrid Seismic Zone begins over 1.5 billion years ago. The continent that would eventually become North America was growing by adding volcanic arcs onto the core that is today found in Canada, expanding outwards a block at a time, when something changed. The center of the growing continent began to pull apart, forming a long rift valley. That valley is named the “Reelfoot Rift”. We don’t know exactly what all the plates were doing that long ago, but its clear that the continent started opening and things stalled. A comparison might be the East African Rift Zone today; the Arabian plate has fully pulled away from Africa to form the Red Sea, but East Africa itself is forming a deep, fault-filled basin loaded with volcanoes. If the East African rift shut down, it would eventually look a lot like the Reelfoot Rift. The continent bears many scars from this rifting. There are igneous rocks throughout the area formed between 1.5 and 1.3 billion years ago. during this rifting Measurements of the gravity and magnetic fields over the rift also illustrate its presence. The modern Mississippi River even generally follows this valley today as the ancient faults still allow enough movement to make the rift zone a lowland in the continent’s center. The faults formed during this rifting event don’t appear at the surface, they have been buried by sediments deposited by the Mississippi River system over the last 100 million years. The cities in the Central United States therefore sit mostly on top of fairly loose sediments that filled in these lowlands at the center of the continent. This is the area that in the early 1800s suffered a surprising series of disasters. Three of the largest earthquakes in U.S. history occurred in the area between Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Kentucky over a period of about 3 months starting on December 16, 1811. With earthquakes that occurred before modern seismic instruments were around to measure them it can be difficult to fully tell the story, but these events are important enough that scientists have assembled many details. See how there are 3 segments to the fault? You’ve already seen the reason why there were 3 quakes. The first quake took place on the southernmost segment and ruptured in a strike-slip motion. The second quake took place on the middle segment and ruptured a normal fault. The final quake took place on the northernmost segment and again had a strike-slip motion. This structure therefore looks like a piece of the rift, a normal fault segment with two large strike-slip faults on its edge. The quakes were extremely powerful; USGS estimates place their moment magnitudes at 7.5, 7.7, and 7.7; comparable in strength to the 7.8 Mw 1906 San Francisco Earthquake. Because the crust in the Eastern U.S. is older and colder than that in the west, the shaking transmitted over a greater distance; historical records report the earthquakes caused church bells to ring as far away as Boston. The quakes were a disaster for this area even though the population was sparse. The fault motion shifted the Mississippi River’s position, creating the modern Reelfoot Lake and also drowned and submerged many other areas. Sediments shifted and blew out of the ground across the region. Any structures present were likely destroyed, although there are very few remaining records. There was enough damage that a single landholder named John Hardeman Walker was able to cheaply buy up the affected land in the years following the quake as most of the inhabitants simply left. When Missouri became a state in 1818 he lobbied for inclusion of his land in Missouri at the expense of Arkansas, leading to the inclusion of 3 counties in Missouri as a “bootheel”. The New Madrid quakes therefore literally show up on the U.S. map. Although these events are huge, they’re very much an anomaly. We teach that most major earthquakes are associated with boundaries between plates; even if the earthquake is happening far inland of the plate boundary it tends to relate to plate tectonics. The New Madrid quakes are so far from any plate boundary it’s extremely hard to say what is driving the motion on the faults. There are ideas. We do know that plates can transmit stresses long distances as they move; the New Madrid area could be feeling the impact of stresses as far away as California. The New Madrid Area could also be responding to the change in mass on top of it from melting of the huge ice sheets 12,000 years ago. Finally, there are even proposals that a small mantle “hotspot” has interacted with the Central U.S. over the past few million years and that could contribute to stress on the New Madrid Faults. These big quakes aren’t the only things this fault zone has produced. Not only do we see that earthquakes continue to this day, but scientists have also found evidence for previous earthquakes in the centuries prior to historical documentation. When these quakes happen, loose sand in the soil bursts onto the surface like a geyser, a feature called a “sand blow” or a “sand boil” (sand blows covering the land were probably a big reason why it was cheap to buy after the 1812 quakes). Older sand blows have been found indicating several large quake sequences happened on this fault before historical records were recorded, with the most recent ones happening about 1350 and 900 a.d. Furthermore, seismic techniques have been used to image the subsurface throughout the Mississippi valley and found evidence of faults across a broad area that have been active over the past few million years - not just these exact faults, but a multitude of them throughout the valley. The sequence of prehistoric earthquakes and the ongoing smaller quakes is good evidence that this fault is still an active threat. If the smaller quakes were aftershocks of the 1812 sequence, there would be fewer of them with time; instead their rate is pretty much constant, suggesting they’re caused by continued stress on the fault. Although the fault most recently ruptured about 400-500 years apart, there’s no reason why it can’t go sooner next time. In fact, during the US Geological Survey’s most recent earthquake hazard assessment, they increased their assessment of risk from this fault system due to the mapping of the prehistoric earthquakes. If this fault system ruptures again, there are vastly more people in this area than last time. St. Louis, Memphis, and Nashville are all in the area that could see heavy shaking; smaller cities like Paducah, Jackson, Evansville would feel it as well, and smaller towns even closer to the epicenter could feel even stronger shaking. Several factors would likely increase the damage to these cities even beyond what is observed in major earthquakes elsewhere. Almost all the buildings in these areas sit on sediments deposited by the Mississippi River and loose sediments are extremely weak during earthquakes. When shaken, loose sediments break apart and lose all strength, a phenomenon known as liquefaction. Any buildings built atop those sediments will be at risk of severe damage or even collapse (http://tmblr.co/Zyv2Js1WTUw1o). These areas also have very little in the way of building codes that could limit damage. Building codes are hugely important during earthquakes as unprepared buildings tend to completely collapse while limited building codes can save huge numbers of lives. Some of the states in the area do have seismic building codes, but many local areas do not. Major commercial buildings tend to do pretty well during earthquakes if the ground does not liquefy, but only 10% of the local areas have seismic building codes covering residential homes. If another earthquake were to hit these areas, residences would be absolutely devastated and the losses would rival the recent hurricanes as the worst disasters in U.S. history. If you live in these areas, earthquake preparation is smart. Have an earthquake kit, including stored water (http://tmblr.co/Zyv2Js1pz9oUR). Make sure your family knows what to do if a quake starts. Practice the “Drop, cover, and hold on” techniques during the yearly shakeout drills. If you own property, see about a seismic retrofit – a few cheap upgrades can be the difference between no damage and a house being completely lost (http://tmblr.co/Zyv2Js1puIWDj). And, if you have any influence on the political processes in the area, keep pressure on decision-makers to be ready. Cities can and should practice earthquake emergency responses and building codes in this area need to be upgraded to reflect the seismic risk. This fault system is still there and active. It might be 300+ years before another major quake series strikes, or it could be much less. If a major quake does hit, this is not an area you want to be in given current preparation levels. -JBB Image credit: http://bit.ly/1CTZavp Read more (tons of references): https://www.usgs.gov/natural-hazards/earthquake-hazards/lists-maps-and-statistics http://dnr.mo.gov/geology/geosrv/geores/techbulletin1.htm http://www.new-madrid.mo.us/index.aspx?nid=132 http://s1.sos.mo.gov/archives/history/bootheel http://www.showme.net/~fkeller/quake/maps.htm http://pubs.usgs.gov/fs/2009/3071/pdf/FS09-3071.pdf http://pubs.usgs.gov/pp/1538e/report.pdf http://www.britannica.com/event/New-Madrid-earthquakes-of-1811-1812 http://www.reelfoot.com/new_madrid_earthquake.htm http://bit.ly/1OvtNsu http://www.shakeout.org/centralus/

[thecreaturecodex]

Melting Menace

“Melting Skull” © Jimmy Nijs, accessed at his deviantArt here

[The Incredible Melting Man is a weird, gross movie, with good effects by a young Rick Baker and little else. According to Wikipedia, the director wanted it to be a parody of monster movies, which explains the ending where a janitor literally mops up the monster. The studio wanted it played straight, though, and overdubbed the jokes and added new scenes during filming. This movie featured in Season 7 of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which resulted in a little bit of synchronity. Season 7 was filmed after the MST3K crew’s unhappy time in Hollywood, making MST3K the Movie. The host segments of this episode feature Dr. Forrester and Pearl as movie executives, making Crow’s life miserable as he tries to make a movie before ultimately cutting it down to a 90 second short. I don’t know if the MST3K writers knew about the behind-the-scenes story of The Incredible Melting Man when they used this episode for catharsis, but it’s a neat little bit of coincidence if not, and an excellent in-joke if they did.]

Melting Menace CR 7 CE Undead This creature looks like it was once humanoid, but is in the process of dissolving into an amorphous mass of flesh. Its skeleton is visible beneath its running features.

A melting menace is an undead creature that is pathetic, revolting and horrifying all at once. They are created from humanoids that have succumbed to melting rot, a hideous disease believed to come from another planet, or possibly from space itself. A creature so afflicted is constantly at risk of completely dissolving from their overpowered enzymes, and seeks to replace its missing flesh with that of other creatures. A melting menace can become incredibly resilient for short periods by consuming the flesh, and those that escape it run the risk of transforming into melting menaces themselves if they cannot be treated successfully in time.

As an undead creature, a melting menace has no place in a sane ecology. Their effects are often noticed before they are, as they leave behind mutilated carcasses in their wake. Unlike many other undead, which can control their ravenous hunger or plan contingencies to feed on carrion, blood or other requirements, melting menaces have almost no rational thought, and require a constant supply of meat. A starved melting menace collapses into a (still infectious!) puddle of goo in less than a week.

Melting menaces can understand a language they spoke in life, but cannot vocalize in anything other than growls and agonized wails. Larger or smaller melting menaces can be represented by using the giant or young simple templates.

Melting Menace                CR 7 XP 3,200 CE Medium undead Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +10 Aura horrific appearance (60 ft., Will DC 19) Defense AC 18, touch 10, flat-footed 18 (+8 natural) hp 95 (10d8+50) Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +6 DR 5/-; Immune undead traits; Resist cold 10, electricity 10 Defensive Abilities fortification (50%) Weakness flesh dependence Offense Speed 20 ft. Melee 2 slams +13 (1d6+5 plus grab and disease) Special Attacks feed on flesh Statistics Str 20, Dex 11, Con -, Int 6, Wis 8, Cha 19 Base Atk +7; CMB +12 (+16 grapple); CMD 25 Feats Defensive Combat Training, Improved Initiative, Stealthy, Toughness, Weapon Focus (slam) Skills Climb +12, Escape Artist +10, Perception +10, Stealth +9, Swim +9; Racial Modifiers +4 Escape Artist, +4 Perception Languages Common (cannot speak) Ecology Environment any Organization solitary Treasure incidental Special Abilities Disease (Su) Melting rot; Slam—injury; save Fort DC 19; onset 1 day; frequency 1/day; effect 1d4 Constitution damage; Con damage cannot be healed while target is infected; a humanoid that is reduced to 0 Con becomes a melting menace in 1 minute; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Charisma based. Feed on Flesh (Su) A creature grabbed by a melting menace must succeed a DC 19 Fortitude save every round or take 5d6 points of damage. The melting menace then heals the same amount of damage. Hit points in excess of its maximum hit points are gained as temporary hit points that last for 1 hour. This damage can only be dealt to creatures made of meat—skeletal undead, plants, most constructs and other such creatures (at the GM’s discretion) are immune to this ability. The save DC is Charisma based. Flesh Dependence (Ex) Every 24 hours that pass without a melting menace using its feed on flesh ability successfully, it takes a cumulative -2 penalty on all attack rolls, saving throws, skill and ability checks, and its current and maximum hit points are reduced by 10. When these penalties reach -10, it is destroyed, melting into a puddle. Each round a melting menace suffering penalties from its flesh dependence successfully uses its feed on flesh ability, the penalty reduces by -1. Horrific Appearance (Su) The sight of a melting menace is so revolting that anyone within 60 feet who sets eyes upon one must succeed on a DC 19 Fortitude save or instantly be weakened, taking 1d6 points of Strength damage. Creatures cannot be affected again by the same melting menace’s horrific appearance for 24 hours, regardless of whether they pass or fail the save. This is a mind-affecting effect and the save DC is Charisma-based.

[perpetual-help]

@loki’s-right-nut

I saved some segments from your post but your response on tumblr is gone, so I will place this in its own post in hopes you will see it. Maybe tumblr is being weird, or maybe you deleted your response, I’m not really sure. Either way, you raised some points that are worth answering.

*Quotes and scripture references belonging to loki’s-right-nut will be noted in red and italicized to prevent any confusion.

I see you are Catholic as well? I also see you are quite learned in the scripture. So tell me, do you remember what Isa (that’s Jesus’s actual name and I’m sure he’d be very flattered if you used it) said about judging others? Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Let Isa and his father be the ones to bring back the wayward. Because since he is love, he is also understanding and compassion and patience. Those who “turn away” from him have their reasons and he understands this. Isa is all knowing, yes? So he knows. Let him take care of it instead of trying to start another crusade online.”

Luke 6:37 is true. God alone can judge the heart. This means that I cannot say whether a certain person went to hell, or will go to hell. I cannot read their hearts; this belongs to God alone. However, we can and are called to judge actions and to correct and instruct others.

2 Timothy 3:16-17

“All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that one who belongs to God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”

Now, in regards to Christian witches, Isa also said something and I really hope you remember. Because Isa actually spoke to someone very much like yourself. Mk 9:38-41

“At that time, John said to Jesus,
"Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name,
and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow us.”
Jesus replied, “Do not prevent him.
There is no one who performs a mighty deed in my name
who can at the same time speak ill of me.
For whoever is not against us is for us.”

They have found another way to work for Him and he is pleased by that. They do his work in another way in which they can better let him into their life. They call it “magic” but he calls it “A mighty deed in his name.”

Those driving out demons did so in the name of Jesus, not in the name of some false deity or spirit or demon. In Acts, there is a passage that talks about a woman who is possessed by a spirit that allows her to tell fortunes.

Acts 16:16-18

“As we were going to the place of prayer, we met a slave girl with an oracular spirit (spirit of divination), who used to bring a large profit to her owners through her fortune-telling. She began to follow Paul and us, shouting, “These people are slaves of the Most High God, who proclaim to you a way of salvation.” She did this for many days. Paul became annoyed, turned, and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” Then it came out at that moment.”

1 John further illustrates a need for discernment of the spirit, and expands on the fact that there are many false prophets in this world.

1 John 4:1-6

“Beloved, do not trust every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they belong to God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can know the Spirit of God: every spirit that acknowledges Jesus Christ come in the flesh belongs to God, and every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus does not belong to God. This is the spirit of the antichrist that, as you heard, is to come, but in fact is already in the world. You belong to God, children, and you have conquered them, for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They belong to the world; accordingly, their teaching belongs to the world, and the world listens to them. We belong to God, and anyone who knows God listens to us, while anyone who does not belong to God refuses to hear us. This is how we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of deceit.”

Sorcery is condemned in the Bible. I included the passages for this in my original post, but I will also include them here for you to reference if needed.

Galatians 5:19-23

Revelation 21:5-8

“You are quite right about the Tyrant view. In fact, I began to see it at a young age. I remember being in Youth Group when I finally voiced it. I said "I can't bond with Him (god) because I fear being struck down. Like I am a mere slave bowing before a mighty king who will knock me down to the dust should I make one misstep."

God is Just and He is Merciful. For those who truly seek to love and serve Him, He aids them in all matters. This fear of being struck down over a misstep is understandable, but it isn’t entirely accurate. We are given the sacraments for a reason - one of those being confession. God doesn’t desire to condemn, He desires for us to repent.

“There is something very wrong with some of these teachings. On the surface level, yes, most of these can be good wisdom. "Love thy neighbor" and such. But a large majority of these messages hold a toxic amount of self denial and utter dependency on this deity. The more you look, the more you realize, he doesn't want you for you. He wants you to mold you into submission so he can easily control you. if you withstand the treatment and somehow leave, he'll see it as betrayal and send you to the fiery pits for eternity”

God is a loving Father and we are made in His image and likeness, with the purpose to love Him and all people as He loves us. He calls us to servitude and sacrifice, and He has given us the most perfect example of this in Our Lord Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. Like the loving Father He is, He encourages all people to rise above the passions of the flesh and the pleasures of this world in order to recognize this need to subdue the flesh and grow in the spirit. Self denial promotes a deeper level of submission to the will of God - and, since God is Love and all things Good and Holy, this is the only way we can reflect such virtue. Humility is the opposite of pride. It is a state of being more than it is a singular action. Humility is truth because it is the honest recognition of what we, as humans, are. We are creatures chained by our passions, deluded by our own egos, self-serving, reveling in all kinds of sin. We do not see this sin for what it actually is, but God sees it. He saw all sin that ever was and ever would be committed while He hung on the cross. It was our sins that wounded Him and drove the nails into His hands and feet, and the spear into His side. Every single day our sins offend Him in the moments of His Passion. Without God, we cannot even begin to attempt to loosen our bonds of sin. We are entirely dependent upon Him - and that is where we recognize what we are. We are little and weak and prone to sin. Still, God is magnified in our weakness and in our recognition of this littleness, and He is forever eager to fill our hearts with His infinite Love so that we might reflect His goodness like polished mirrors. Thus, we can rightly say God alone is worthy of all glory and honor and praise. When we understand the role we, as each individual person, has played in the torments of Our Lord during His passion, this is where a desire to suffer for love of God begins to bloom. Those who love God seek to lessen His torments even by one iota - to sacrifice themselves in His place, should such a thing be possible. They seek to follow in His footsteps more closely, and to offer all sufferings for others, for the souls in purgatory, and all united with Jesus on the cross. God sees this love and great sacrifice and how the soul strives to reach closer to Him, and they in turn are blessed to taste the depths of pleasures in His infinite love.

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from the Desert Sun:

The culprit remains unknown, but she's got a good guess — rabbit hemorrhagic disease.

Caused by a deadly and highly contagious virus, the disease affects both wild and domestic populations of lagomorphs, which are a subset of species including hares, rabbits and pikas. Since March of last year, government labs have confirmed cases across the West, with the epicenter in the Southwest and Southern California.

Without any reasonable method of distributing a vaccine to wild animals, the disease is expected to continue spreading. The numbers of confirmed cases are still relatively low — in the dozens — but entire food chains could take a hit if staple species of prey like jackrabbits decline.

This virus is like "the rabbit version of Ebola," according to Hayley Lanier, assistant curator for mammals at the Sam Noble Museum in Oklahoma and co-chair of the International Union for Conservation of Nature's lagomorph specialist group.

"This is pretty serious," she said. "This is a disease that has completely decimated rabbit populations in Spain."

The current North American outbreak, the first the continent has seen in wild and not only domesticated rabbits, has spread mainly across the West since cases were reported in pet rabbits in March 2020 in New Mexico. Since then, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has confirmed cases in Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California. Separately, cases were also confirmed in New York and Florida.

The illness is caused by rabbit hemorrhagic disease virus serotype 2, which persists for a long time in the environment and, according to Lanier, can withstand both dry as well as hot conditions. "Often, disease onset is rapid," according to literature from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, and infected animals suffer internal bleeding and liver damage before dying.

"That has huge implications for not just rabbits but everything that eats rabbits," Lanier explained. "Rabbits are this very important segment of the food chain."

The virus appears to only harm certain species of lagomorphs, so it doesn't yet pose a danger directly to other wildlife or humans. But, if rabbits are no longer an abundant food supply, that would shift the balance of entire ecosystems.

Researchers are also concerned about the possibility that rabbit hemorrhagic disease could wipe out species that are already on the brink. In California, this means the riparian brush rabbit, which is the only species of rabbit that's listed as endangered under both the relevant state and federal acts.

[shinahbee]

December favorites 2020!

------------------------------------------

GREETINGS

------------------------------------------

 Hello,

 So we have finally reached another year happy 2021! let's all hope this year will be kind to us, as I have mentioned in my previous favorites post, I finished my work term and now will be working on my art more

so please look out for more art coming soon!

also this maybe a little too early to think of but I was thinking of opening an etsy store to sells stickers/ keychains, this was a project that was on my mind for many years actually, but I have never really considered starting it

Please let me know if any of you would be interested if I do start one.

I would also like some ideas as to what type of characters from what show would you like to see merchandise from. I know there are some franchises that are not well known and most people wouldn’t be able to find so much as a fanart of that particular character/show

so if you could all let me know what you’d like to see in the shop I will highly consider it, with that being said I don't have any anime recs this month, mainly cause I was very busy in the month of December and have not watched any dramas or anime in a while,

so just a heads up, that part will not be included this month. The only thing I was watching is bunch of end of the year award shows, so like the drama awards and melon music awards and MAMA awards...haha that seems really boring to discuss so i'll skip that.

My friend and I were discussing and thought that they should rename these music awards as the BTS awards because they won so many lol.

 --------------------------------------------

MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

--------------------------------------------

 This section of the favorites is on fire! you don’t even know how far deep the rabbit hole i`ve dug myself into.

I finally was able to save my progress and crawl back up to list a few of my favorites/ updates of the old favorites and a special segment to ones that triggered a raging response due to utter frustration

Let’s start with a review of the manhwa I have read and discussed so far

 Recap:

 1) Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

2) Social temperature (ongoing)

3) Salad days (ongoing)

4) To be or not to be (ongoing)

5) Path to you (completed)

6) Here u are (completed)

7) BJ alex (completed)

8) No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

 so some updates on the previous ones that I have listed out so far, with the exception of the completed ones.

 1) Who's baby is it? ; last time I read up to chapter 72 and now they have up to chapter 126 and I have to say so much more has happened in terms of story and relationship development and I especially love the development between

yi yun and his relationship with jinyao, they are acting more and more like a married couple without even knowing it. You see a gradual change within the two of them that shifts from being very comfortably being able to talk about their problems to one another to

physical touches that would make them  both nervous, I don't mean physical in a sexual way...it's not at that point yet, it's just holding hands and being near each other makes them, nervous and as an audience I felt that nervous energy

and it makes as the audience appreciate the development even if it is slow, it becomes more realistic over time.

Needless to say, I am still a giant fan girl of this author and her story and I can't wait to see this week’s chapter

 2) social temp; I said that I have read the novel so I pretty much knows what happened in the new chapters that were just out, this manhwa is updating a little slow so I have to wait to really comment

When they go further, there is a scene soon that will be the turning point of their relationship so I am excited to see that in the manhwa

 3) salad days; There is also a slow development here as well in terms of relationship building, so far they are working on their careers as professionals and dealing with bullying and jealousy from their peers

But it's all part of life so I appreciate that the author included these aspects as an important part of the story and not just focusing on romance alone.

 4) To be or not to be; you'd think a person who had studied Chinese for 8 years would be able to read the raws....nope,LOL

So far the story is going into a good direction so I'm hoping to see how this new development will play out in their relationship

 5) no way vampires don't exist; I have and fanart and long post dedicated to this alone, so please refer to those for more details. I am happy this is updating again and hopefully all of it will be translated in no time for others to enjoy

 -----------------------------------------------

Welcome to heaven

-----------------------------------------------

Okay so that is all for the old ones that I have read, I will include updates throughout my favorites now and then if it is still ongoing.

now let's look at some new ones that I have found this month, these are just a few of the ones I selected out to talk about, but I have read much more as I have said and these were the ones that were the most memorable

 1) Unintentional love story- "Wonyoung gets unjustly suspended from work after getting caught up in a corruption scandal. But when he accidentally discovers the chairman's favorite artist Yoon Taejun living under an alias, he is tasked with a tricky new mission. Could this be Wonyoung's chance to get his job back?"

 This is the summary from the licensed lezhin website, and it pretty much sums up the story, it is still ongoing right now so I can only comment on how I feel about it so far.

I really like this story its really straight forward and focuses mainly on the two characters and how their relationship went from business partners to eventual lovers

it has minimal drama and works on moving the relationship buildup between the two main characters and I really appreciate that, it makes me less frustrated, since you know there is always that one a-hole that will never take no for an answer

i will discuss that later for the other ones I plan to discuss. But so far the story is straight forward and cute, and I really like wonyoung he is really adorable. This is a manhwa but not in the form of a webtoon, so it's black and white and read in traditional manga style

if you like a straight forward story and development please give this a read, you will enjoy it.

 2) Karasugaoka Don't Be Shy!! - "Sou Izuhara, the leader of the crime prevention group "VOICE" that protects east Karasugaoka, realizes he's in love with the man he keeps butting heads with and leader of the rival group "Karasukai," Tetsuji Shinba...!?"

 omg finally a manga recommendation? lol. you have no idea how much trouble I had remembering the title of this manga, I didn’t save it into my bookmarks and I usually did that if I was going to talk about it in the favorites.

I went through 5 websites to figure out the name but at least it was found. This story is both comedic and cute and it was a perfect break from the dark stuff I have been reading, I don't believe it has been updated in while so I'm not sure if it will ever be picked up

but there is a decent amount of chapters to get started on. But as the description says that it is a story about two crime prevention group leaders, they look like thugs but they prevent crimes from happening, so like an anti bullying campaign that recruits volunteers. two of the leaders from the largest groups apparently doesn’t get a long

on the surface but one of the leaders Izuhara really in fact admires the other leader Shinba. they start to get along after shiba went to izuharas territory to take care of some suspicious activity on that side and accidentally discovers a whole new side to izuhara due to the fact that he wasn’t wearing his glasses and didn’t know he was talking to shinba

and invited him to hang out together for that day. lol. You probably know the direction this is heading; it all starts from interest in a person right?

anways, I never recommended a  manga yet so this would be a good one to read,it has a balance of a good romantic comedy.  

 3) Semantic Error- "Computer science major Chu Sangwoo is the epitome of an inflexible and strict rule-abiding person. While working on a liberal arts group project with freeloaders who don’t put in any effort, Sangwoo reasonably decides to remove their names from the final presentation. But he didn’t imagine how involved he would become with the person whose study-abroad plans were messed up because of that project. The involved person: the campus star who everyone knows, Department of Design’s Jang Jaeyoung. He has everything from skills, looks, family background and good relationships except for 1 big problem: Chu Sangwoo. What happens when an engineer and an artist whose personalities are like oil and water have to work together? Jang Jaeyoung is like a semantic error in the perfect world of Chu Sangwoo. Will Sangwoo be able to debug this?"

 this has got to be one of the most accurate portrays of an antagonist relationship start off ever, it was really comedic and relatable at the same time, if you are in current group assignments and are or have suffered the same as sangwoo, please let me know cause I know I have.lol.

there’s only 16 chapters so far and I believe it hasn’t been updated in a while either so I don’t know if it is discontinued or not.

I can't wait to see the development between the two male leads, because their relationship right now in the manhwa is really hilarious and worth the read.

side note, not that this will ever be considered as a k-drama but I would like to see sangwoo being played by kim soo hyun, because he looks like him in the drama it's okay not to be okay.

 4) Tied up in twins- " The story starts off with three friends Jiwoo, sohee and woojung who had been friends since high school began to developed complicated feeling towards one another, woojung had been in love with sohee and sohee had been in love with jiwoo who was in love with woojung, things turned for the worse when jiwoo got drunk one night out and decided to confess his feelings to woojung by going to his apartment, he found 'woojung' standing outside and invited him to go drinking, he finally was able to let out his feelings and 'woojung ' accepted them without hesitation. Jiwoo felt like he was on cloud nine at the moment and slept with 'woojung' that night after thier feelings were made mutual. Turns out 'woojung ' was not actually woojung himself but his twin brother sarang, not knowing this fact he spots sarang with a man from his past eunji that used to bully him during his military service which made him confused and angry that 'woojung ' might be playing with his feelings. Sarang then confessed that he is the twin brother  of woojung and both of them decided that that night was a mistake and that they should just forget about it as it didn't happen. Of course fate had other plans as they keep running into each other during difficult times and decided to become friends. It didn't take them long to be attracted to one another which lead them to end their previous relationship, sarang especially was suffering from his cheating boy friend's abuse and jiwoo with his one sided feelings for woojung. After a series of events sarang and jiwoo found that their feeling for each other were mutual and started to dating, which poses a lot more obstacles than either of the two had bargained for...."

 This is actually my very own summary since I can't find one for this manhwa, I also did and fanart and discussed why i really like this story in that fanart, so please check out my art for my thoughts on it! Shameless self promo....

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Welcome to hell

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ooo now it's time for the fun part.LOL. Now let me just say that there is sometimes a fine line that defines what shounen ai and Yaoi are, sometimes stories is listed as both because one story that starts off like shounen ai will suddenly become yaoi

I define yaoi as a story that includes all the things that i'm uncomfortable with, which is emotional trauma from sexual abuse, sexual harassment and rape, physical abuse, suicide etc

 these stories usually include some or all of the listed above and could make you uncomfortable in many ways, so as a warning if you are bothered by any of that even a little please don't read the ones I’m about to list, because there is a lot of it and there are situations that made me really sick while reading them. on the upside there is a lot of whole heartedness from the love scenes between the two main characters, although it’s like pages of sex scenes, you know from reading that it is between two people that love and trust each other.

 so you have been warned, i'm not going to spoil it in terms of story but there is something these ones i chose out have in common and that is a SICK A-HOLE THAT EVERY PERSON WANTS TO KILL.You should have seen all those comments about calling sangwoo (killing stalking) to kill theses mofos and I could agree more, these disgusting human beings made me sick.

 so let's begin...btw these are in no particular order, I was going to list these from the least worthy of dieing to most worthy of dieing but you know in the end they should just all die...lol.

1) My Suha -"A skillful secretary by day and choosy cruiser by night, Suha is a young professional who’s in search of some no-strings-attached action. He hasn’t had much luck lately, though, since a handsome face doesn’t always match what’s in a guy’s pants. This might be why he finds himself wondering about his dreamboat boss, Director Park Jiwoon. But there’s no way he can mix business with pleasure… That is, until Jiwoon and Suha run into each other in the gay bar bathroom."

 so where to begin, um this pretty much includes all those listed above but it mainly focuses on the relationship between jiwoon and Suha, and it is not abusive and very loving in fact,I'm glad that they show the contrast between how suha's previous realtionships don't work out because of his trauma

and how jiwoon despite being an unwanted heir in his grandmother's eyes was able to give love and protection to the person that matters to him the most. So there's this scum bag...I even forgot his name but the red haired dude in this story he`s the legitimate heir to the family, who is the absolute worse and not only sexually abused Suha when they were younger and also emotionally scar both jiwoon and suha

making them feel incapable of being loved. I didn’t get a good feeling form him when he was first introduced and I was right...lol. But at least the comments section was in agreement; let me sum up my feelings in the form of this gif alone...

 you get the point...

I heard it was going to finish soon so hopefully these emotional scars can be resolved and that suha and jiwoon stick together to get through it all. That would be a good ending for them after everything they have been through.You really need to read it in order to under stand why these events happen the way they do but please remember that suha`s inability to feel love stems from the all of his previous relationships not lasting long yes...but started with this red haired mofo. I am never going to let this dude live, let`s just say that.

2) Crash into me- " Seung-chan is stressed. He has enough on his plate with the long hours at work, and now he can’t even get any rest at home! Every night, the lustful moaning and violent banging from the apartment upstairs keeps him awake. Just as he’s at his wits’ end, he chances upon the gorgeous, enigmatic Hyesung outside his building. Surely all those filthy sounds couldn’t be coming from such a pretty mouth? But as Seung-chan soon finds out, there’s a lot more to Hyesung"

 from that little description you’ve probably figured out what’s going on with the neighbour next door keeping seung chan awake right? well no surprise sexual abuse, after hyesung was forced to suffer from a ordeal that wasn't his fault the brother of the person that died made it seem like it was his fault and sexually assaulted him

and so this ongoing sexual abuse progressed for several years which lead hyesung feel like life is meaningless and he should just die, until he locked eyes with seung chan walking back to the apartment and thought of jumping out the window, because he had a strange feeling that seungchan who he has not met before would catch him if he did.

I just almost cried from what I just wrote...to think there’s is some a-hole out there that would drive a person to suicide like that just to satisfy his own needs or whatever...i don't even know cause it’s still ongoing...i don’t think any amount of back story will justify any kind of sympathy for this person..

from what I have read so far it seems so be going ending soon so i hope seungchan and hyesung will be able to get through all this and live in peace because of suengchan, hyesung was able to love again and find his worth and is able to fight for himself and I’m sincerely glad that he had met and trust him whole heartedly.

3) Dine with vampire- "Caught in the clutches of an abusive relationship, Sooin longs to escape. A vampire who finds human blood repulsive, Chi-hwan only drinks the blood of other vampires. When chance brings the two together, Chi-hwan makes Sooin an enticing proposal. Chi-hwan will help Sooin get out of his living hell, and in exchange… Sooin has to let Chihwan drink his blood. Will this proposal change both their lives for the better?”

 y'all don't even get me started on the mofo in this story....I’ve never felt so much rage from staring at a 2D character on my screen, the amount of times I hissed at him...you don't even know

like I have mentioned before ever since my twilight phase I didn’t consume anything vampire related in a while, I don't really care much for the vampire aspect but I guess it's still important over all

once you start the first chapter you will immediately know why I hate the harry potter a-hole in this story..he is despicable and that’s putting it lightly...but you know he doesn’t last long cause vampire tsukiyama (lol, not his name but they look alike) shows up and kills the mofo

and saves sooin who is the person who harry potter had been sexually abusing...to the point where you guessed it, he wanted to die.

chi hwan agrees to grant any wish sooin wanted in exchange for his blood because being vampire by nature he had not been drawn to anyone’s blood for some reason and had only consumed the blood of other vampires.

of course it was a small price to pay for sooin considering all the misery he had gone through. slowly sooin discovered that love was not abusive through the many times chi hwan...lmao i almost called him tsukiyama again...and he had sex, he discovered that it was safe and gentle and enjoyable

nothing that he had ever felt before, and so they became drawn to each other more than they thought they would to the point where they genuinely care for one another, though of course chi hwan knows that one day sooin will die and he will have to live on forever alone, thus the fate of his vampire blood.

 but here’s the catch..it's not a spoiler really cause you knew it was too easy when main villain dies in chapter 4...and he’s on the front cover...which means yes harry potter mofo is back...ugh...he should have burned his body...WTF and as a vampire no less..

i'm like great now look what happened, you should have chopped him up and threw him into the incinerator!

you know that saying " mistakes were made..."

anyways, now he's back meaning shits about to do down and i'm not ready to see it happen, right now they are going through his back story and i’m like sorry author...whatever you try to feed me there’s no way i can have any sympathy for this dick...

 so that's all i'm going to rant about for these yaoi titles...i had to go back and read some it again to know what i'm going to write about and i revisited a lot of things i’d rather not.I think the rage I felt was ignited again all of a sudden and I felt utter frustration to finish reading it again, what I am trying to say is, ya`ll need to read this once and that`s it...these aren`t stories you`d want to revisit.lol

so if you like this hell segment let me know and i'll continue it cause there’s an endless supply of content for this genre, I have a few more but i'll save those for next month.

and i'll probably come across more in the mean time to discuss, but I guess this is where fiction and reality divides, cause you know in real life if this crap exists absolutely no one will take this bull crap!

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MUSIC

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 I have been listening to the Start up soundtrack and found a lot of songs i like from it, I don't like the drama and have not finished it, but the soundtrack is bomb

I have also been liking some old pop songs and went down the rabbit hole of 90`s pop songs...Britney spears especially

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 so that is all I have for this month, I'm sorry its manhwa and manga focused, i'll have time to watch anime that I need to catch up on and start some drams now so i'll have more

to discuss in the next month hopefully, so please take care of your selves in the new year as well!

take care,

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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INSTAGRAM: shinb_art

TUMBLR: shinahbee

DEVIANTART: she-be.deviantart.com

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[96thdayofrage]

Media Rediscover Afghan Women Only When US Leaves

Just as US corporate news media “discovered” Afghan women’s rights only when the US was angling for invasion, their since-forgotten interest returned with a vengeance as US troops exited the country.

After September 11, 2001, the public was subjected to widespread US news coverage of burqa-clad Afghan women in need of US liberation, and celebratory reports after the invasion. Time magazine (11/26/01), for instance, declared that “the greatest pageant of mass liberation since the fight for suffrage” was occurring, as “female faces, shy and bright, emerged from the dark cellars” to stomp on their old veils. In a piece by Nancy Gibbs headlined “Blood and Joy,” the magazine told readers this was “a holiday gift, a reminder of reasons the war was worth fighting beyond those of basic self-defense” (FAIR.org, 4/9/21).

The media interest was highly opportunistic. Between January 2000 and September 11, 2001, there were 15 US newspaper articles and 33 broadcast TV reports about women’s rights in Afghanistan. In the 16 weeks between September 12 and January 1, 2002, those numbers skyrocketed to 93 and 628, before plummeting once again (Media, Culture & Society, 9/1/05).

Suddenly remembering women

Now, as the US finally is withdrawing its last troops, many corporate media commentators put women and girls at the center of the analysis, as when Wolf Blitzer (CNN Situation Room, 8/16/21), after referring to “the horror awaiting women and girls in Afghanistan,” reported:

President Biden saying he stands, and I’m quoting him now, squarely, squarely behind this decision to withdraw US forces from Afghanistan, despite the shocking scene of chaos and desperation as the country fell in a matter of only a few hours under Taliban control, and the group’s extremist ideology has tremendous and extremely disturbing implications for everyone in Afghanistan, but especially the women and girls.

This type of framing teed up hawkish guests, who proliferate on TV guest lists, to use women as a political football to oppose withdrawal. Blitzer guest Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R.-Illinois), for instance, argued:

Look at the freedom that is being deprived from the Afghan people as the Taliban move into Afghan, or moving into parts of Afghanistan now, and you know how much freedom they had. Look at the number of women that are out there making careers, that are thought leaders, that are academics, that never would have happened under the Taliban leadership…. The devastation you are seeing today is why that small footprint of 2,500 US troops was so important.

Sen. Joni Ernst (R.-Iowa) gladly gave Jake Tapper (CNN Newsroom, 8/16/21) her take on the situation after CNN aired a report on the situation for women:

As you mentioned, for women and younger girls, this is also very devastating for them. The humiliation that they will endure at the hands of the Taliban all around this is just a horrible, horrible mar on the United States under President Joe Biden.

‘America rescued them’

Charity Wallace claimed in the Wall Street Journal (8/17/21) that Afghan “women and girls…made enormous progress over the past 20 years.”

Such analysis depends on the assumption that the US invasion and occupation “saved” Afghan women. In the Wall Street Journal (8/17/21), an op-ed by former George W. Bush staffer Charity Wallace ran under the headline : “The Nightmare Resumes for Afghan Women: America Rescued Them 20 Years Ago. How Can We Abandon Them to the Taliban Again?”

Two days later, a news article in the Journal (8/19/21) about the fate of women in Afghanistan explained: “Following the 2001 invasion, US and allied forces invested heavily to promote gender equality.”

The Associated Press (8/14/21), in a piece headlined, “Longest War: Were America’s Decades in Afghanistan Worth It?,” noted at the end that “some Afghans—asked that question before the Taliban’s stunning sweep last week—respond that it’s more than time for Americans to let Afghans handle their own affairs.” It continued, “But one 21-year-old woman, Shogufa, says American troops’ two decades on the ground meant all the difference for her.” After describing Shogufa’s experience for five paragraphs, the piece concludes with her “message to Americans��:

“Thank you for everything you have done in Afghanistan,” she said, in good but imperfect English. “The other thing was to request that they stay with us.”

Perhaps the most indignant media piece about Afghan women came from Caitlin Flanagan in the Atlantic (8/19/21), “The Week the Left Stopped Caring About Human Rights.” Flanagan argued:

Leave American troops idle long enough, and before you know it, they’re building schools and protecting women. We found an actual patriarchy in Afghanistan, and with nothing else to do, we started smashing it down. Contra the Nation, it’s hard to believe that Afghan women “won” gains in human rights, considering how quickly those gains are sure now to be revoked. The United States military made it possible for those women to experience a measure of freedom. Without us, that’s over.

Flanagan pointed to Afghan activist Malala Yousafzai, whom she accused “critics of the war” of forgetting, saying Yousafzai “appealed to the president to take ‘a bold step’ to stave off disaster.”

Next to last in women’s rights

Such coverage gives the impression that Afghan women desperately want the US occupation to continue, and that military occupation has always been the only way for the US to help them. But for two decades, women’s rights groups have been arguing that the US needed to support local women’s efforts and a local peace process. Instead, both Democrat and Republican administrations continued to funnel trillions of dollars into the war effort, propping up misogynist warlords and fueling violence and corruption.

Contra Flanagan’s insinuation, Yousafzai didn’t ask Biden to continue the occupation. In an op-ed for the New York Times (8/17/21) that most clearly laid out her appeal, she asked for humanitarian aid in Afghanistan and for refugees fleeing the country. In fact, her take on the US occupation’s role in women’s rights (BBC, 8/17/21) is much more critical than most voices in the US corporate media: “There had been very little interest in focusing on the humanitarian aid and the humanitarian work.”

As human rights expert Phyllis Bennis told FAIR’s radio program CounterSpin (2/17/21), Malalai Joya, a young member of parliament, told her in the midst of the 2009 troop surge that women in Afghanistan have three enemies: the Taliban, warlords supported by the US and the US occupation. “She said, ‘If you in the West could get the US occupation out, we’d only have two.’”

Things did get better for some women, mostly in the big cities, where new opportunities in education, work and political representation became possible with the Taliban removed from power. But as Shreya Chattopadhyay pointed out in the Nation (8/9/21), the US commitment to women was little more than window dressing on its war, devoting roughly 1,000 times more funding to military expenses than to women’s rights.

Passive consumers of US corporate news media might be surprised to learn that Afghanistan, in its 19th year under US occupation, ranked second-to-last in the world on women’s well-being and empowerment, according to the Women, Peace and Security Index (2019).

As the Index notes, Afghan women still suffer from discriminatory laws at a level roughly on par with Iraq, and an extraordinarily low 12.2% of women reported feeling safe walking alone at night in their community, more than 4 points lower than in any other country. And just one in three girls goes to school.

Wrong kind of ‘help’

In 2015, a 27-year-old Afghan woman named Farkhunda Malikzada was killed by an angry mob of men in Kabul after being falsely accused of burning a Quran; US-backed Afghan security forces watched silently (Guardian, 3/28/15). The shocking story spread around the world, but the only US TV network to mention it on air was PBS (7/2/15), which offered a brief report more than three months after the murder, when an Afghan appeals court overturned the death sentences given to some of the men involved.

FAIR turned up no evidence of Caitlin Flanagan ever writing about Malikzada, either—or about the plight of any Afghan woman before last week.

According to a Nexis search, TV news shows aired more segments that mentioned women’s rights in the same sentence as Afghanistan in the last seven days (42) than in the previous seven years (37).

The US did not “rescue” Afghan women with its military invasion in 2001, or its subsequent 20-year occupation. Afghan women need international help, but facile and opportunistic US media coverage pushes toward the same wrong kind of help that it’s been pushing for the last two decades: military “assistance,” rather than diplomacy and aid.

For more than 20 years, US corporate media could have listened seriously to Afghan women and their concerns, bringing attention to their own efforts to improve their situation. Instead, those media outlets are proving once again that Afghan women’s rights are only of interest to them when they can be used to prop up imperialism and the military industrial complex.

[septiembrre]

Upon rewatching last night’s episode and knowing what to expect, I’m loving so many details in it. In some regards, I’m giving the show snaps and saying, yeah this is the detail I always want. Haha, we’re going to overlook that Beth ordered a hit on Rio twice last night. 

I never promised to take off my shipper googles, okay?!

I have come around on the hitman character and I appreciate that the nature of Beth and Rio’s relationship was obvious to him despite how fucking terrible it is right now. I hope he reveals what tipped him off. What did he observe about Rio’s business ops with the girls that flagged it? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Before the episode, I was convinced the hitman was working for Rio, or ended up going to Rio and disclosing the hit. Now I don’t think he’s working for Rio... I think Rio’s putting this together because of how obsessive he is about unpacking Beth and her chess moves (or he has a Beth space (her house or her work) bugged, which I mean circles back to how obsessive he is). There’s too many indicators that point to Rio being in the know. 

I love that he’s this super suave, ridiculously bougie crime boss and Beth’s a Junior League mom, three-time winning mini-muffin champion, and 1. he knows to not underestimate her and 2. these two idiots are locked in this stalemate. I stan. 

Additional points of note:

- Rio’s little grin at Beth’s celebratory dance of his murder. Sometimes I wonder if Rio still likes her, because he’s so exhausted by Beth this season. But, I think at that moment he unwittingly did. Despite his better judgment, he continues to be charmed by her. Oh, my boy. 

- Rio and Beth back in her kitchen!!!! 

- Rio is no longer waiting for her outside in the Mercedes, making Beth leave her groceries to rot on her front porch or wherever.  #Growth. Instead, he’s inside her house again, with her, for the first time this season. This time there’s so little furniture/stuff to look at it, but still so telling and I love that it percolates thoughts as to where her money is going. 

- I thought that Rio would return her shit? I really thought at some point he’d give it back to Beth. I didn’t realize he was expecting her to have bought (some) new things. But like, duh - that makes sense with how much of a nester Beth is. Of course, he would think she would spiral into buying things for the kids and repopulating the house. I wonder about his thought process as he moved through the space. I also APPRECIATE THAT HE WENT INTO HER BEDROOM all solito. Bitter, no doubt. But, also probably in his feelings about that day, about how Dean’s shit is back in that room. Ohhhh, my boy. 

- Everything’s so different, but I loved the call back to the pilot and their first meeting. I love the return of S1 hoodie. So many callbacks to a better time! I love it, but it also prompted me to have a lot of feelings at the state of things now. 

- That being said I loved how tired Rio was during in the car wash scene. Our guy (and our girl) are so tired and done with each other. Rio’s tired in this scene because he knows Beth so well and he knows she’s scheming against him, and he’s not here for it (little does he know...). 

- “Unkillable. Unhuman.” Hahaha. I don’t overall approve of the dehumanizing Rio, but I did find this funny. If we have to suffer this hitman storyline, I do love that he continues to resurrect on Beth. 

- Ruby and Annie finally hearing that there was a round two. 

- Beth’s comment about how Rio only drops by on her. 

- “Jilted lovers”

- “Crime of passion”

- “Your lover enjoys a two-hour omakase lunch every Friday. He never misses it.” LOVER!!! Foodie!Rio!!!! Bougie-af Rio. Like who has a two hour (solo?) lunch? I stan. 

- Rio plays tennis every Tuesday. 

- Rio SPEAKING SPANISH. You see - all I had to do was write that post and the gods of Good Girls heard me and made it happen. If only they would hear my other requests :’) 

- Beth throwing and breaking something at Rio’s establishment for once. Yes, queen.

- Rio being a little shit in the pool scene and then getting one-upped by Beth. Rio definitely thought her throwing the pool ball was hot. 

- Beth having won the state mini-muffin competition for the past three years. Honestly, she should be on GBBO. Can we get a crossover next season for levity? Rio can eat all of her practice bakes and they can work through their feelings week by week. At the end, when Beth makes it to the championship, he can be featured in her segment about her support network, jaja, perhaps with relationship ~unlabeled? 

Noel voice: “Beth is a brilliant mother of four. She certainly gets plenty of feedback regarding her bakes from her children. Beth is also an entrepreneur and enjoys a supportive working relationship with her business partner Rio. Since entering the competition, they have adjusted their work schedule so that they take off every Tuesday afternoon, so Beth can experiment with next week's recipes.” *shots of Beth baking in the Boland kitchen. Rio sampling an award-winning muffin* ahhh! Then, Rio (+ Ruby and Annie) can go to the picnic with all of their kids, and talk about how proud they are of her. 

I mean, yes? Okay, enough of this enormous GBBO digression. 

- “I was bored.” I love this admission. I think some folks in the fandom are hurt by this because it is in direct reference to her relationship with Rio. But, Beth wasn’t going to admit she grew huge, wild feelings for the crime boss to a stranger.  She can barely admit it to herself. She can’t admit it to the crime boss in question. Nor can she admit it to the people she is closest to in life. This admission that boredom/frustration/numbness are key motivators for Beth - I loved it. And Rio knows those motivators. He gets it. It calls back the “Did they suck your soul out yet?” comment from the end of Season 2. As much as Rio was trying to belittle her to Mick later in the episode, he still knows she’s smart, talented, and capable and he hates it/loves it. 

- Beth: “Story of my life [...] missed opportunities.” My heart hurts for her. 

There are definitely more moments that I enjoyed.  I overall liked this episode. But, obviously what hurts my heart the most is that Beth said the hitman could pull the trigger on Rio, twice. I don’t know what to do with that, in combination with the show clearly exploring how impactful Beth and Rio’s relationship was/is. 

On some level, there’s a juxtaposition of S1/S2!Brio to now!Brio, and the juxtaposition shows that Rio doesn’t mean enough to Beth right now to not kill him. That really hurts me personally. But, the discussions of what once was also brings up again how much there still is, festering, unresolved. 

The hitman saying that crimes of passion~ always yield to someone regretting it feels like foreshadowing. The point is: Rio isn’t going to die, he will not be killed off the show. So, Beth is changing her mind and I’m wondering what is going to do that so quickly? I’m assuming the hitman is going to put her on the schedule for the next week or the week after. Unfortunately, despite the potential for the reversal of the hitman storyline... soon? (jajaja, I mean who am I kidding? I thought it was going to be over episodes ago. It could have been strung out to Episode 16 with the way things are handled right now), I don’t think we’re going to get it this Sunday. 

Another point of hope - as others have voiced - is that Beth still can’t kill Rio herself. She already HAS shot Rio and it speaks to me that she can’t do it again. 

I feel like my head is spinning with Season 3 content. I’m excited to write in this new canon-verse over the hiatus. I’m just crossing my fingers that the hiatus isn’t FOREVER. 

[xgenesisrei]

Truth x Peace

The pandemic opened the way for a heightened migration of people into the world of digital platforms. Lockdowns and restrictions on public gathering pushed everyone, especially those who remained hesitant and unconvinced of the value of social media, to nonetheless make do with what technology can offer. And for Filipinos who are culturally wired to connect with people, that means intensified presence and engagement in social networks. It did not help that the shutdown of ABS-CBN contributed to the further weakening of traditional media such as television and radio. More and more, people, regardless of age, have become reliant on social media as their primary, immediate, and at times, the only remaining source of news and information.

Now that creates a huge problem. Some years ago, social media was seen as the bright solution to greater democracy and more social good. The prospect of everyone having an opportunity to air their own personal opinions, views, and perspectives, a space where free-flow of information is possible, sounded like a path towards people getting more informed and enjoying more freedom. For a time it did. We saw the rise of bloggers, influencers, and thought leaders from everywhere. We saw ordinary netizens empowered to join the public discourse on both pressing and amusing issues in our society. 

That is, until humans in the digital realm saw the rise of trolls taking over, of networks of organized disinformation poisoning our walls and feeds, and of filter-bubbles and echo chambers being birthed by ‘cancel culture.’ In the past years or so, social media morphed into a toxic wasteland flooded with fake news, causing its inhabitants to suffer online fatigue and trauma, and seeing friendships built over a long period of time ripped apart in an instant. It is like seeing the Promised Land, the Holy City of Jerusalem, burning to the ground, ravaged by the fury of the ruthless Babylonians, and leaving it with a very uncertain future. Again, the pandemic provided a most volatile context wherein people fought it out in an open mic tournament, trashing the loudest of voices on vaccines and conspiracy theories, missiles in the Middle East, and what remains of Harry Roque’s soul.

A few months ago, Netflix released a documentary, ‘The Social Dilemma,’ that uncovers the mechanism of how social media is changing our lives in ways that we do not expect and will not want, yet leaving us with very little power to stop it. A few weeks ago, MIT convened an impeccable panel of digital experts for ‘The Social Media Summit.’ They discussed the prospects of rescuing truth in a hostile digital environment. The big question being: Can truth still win in a world where fake news is manufactured and disseminated faster than anyone can fact check it? The experts sounded helpless and as a result they looked not so helpful.

The tension lies between the need to confront people responsible for spreading fake news on one hand and on the other the need to be open as well to the reality that truth not only has two sides but multiple sides and therefore demanding the idea of being willing to listen to ideas you don’t agree with and people you don’t like. 

Towards the end, the MIT summit came up with plans of action that centers, more or less, on the following: “shine light on falsehood,” “bear witness to the truth,” “speak truth to power,” and other similar admonitions that any IVCF-er will be able to quickly connect to not a few passages in the New Testament.

Hearing MIT’s panel of experts, who are by no means church people, much less theists, convinced me that Christians do have something to contribute in winning the war against falsehood without necessarily ripping apart families, friendships, and for God’s sake, faith communities.

So, how do we do this? I will not pretend that this can be tackled in a short time, much less by a single individual. But perhaps I will be able to help in laying down a map of the digital landscape which can serve as a point of departure for those who care enough to find a possible resolution. I will also try to sketch a biblical framing that can serve as initial stepping stones for the path ahead.

Digital Mapping: Maze, Spaces, and Faces. I think it will be helpful to identify the different spaces wherein people are moving in and out of as they engage in social media. At the very least, there are three spaces that we need to pay attention to: first, the terrain of today’s digital environment; second, the virtual presence of Christ’s church in such an environment; and lastly, the manifestations of God’s kingdom ever breaking-in. And on top of those three, another set of three spaces wherein the circles overlap.

Today’s Digital World. I already painted with grim colors the state of social media that we inhabit today. Maybe, I will just add that more and more we are seeing a world undeniably shaped by its digital soul. Definitely, there remains a digital gap, considerable segments of society that are pushed all the more to the margins in the ensuing massive migration to the digital sphere. But as the pandemic rendered digital technology as the primary means by which people communicate and connect to one another, government and private industries, community pantries included, the virtual is already part of our everyday reality. In fact, the virtual has become real. And this is where the reminder of Neil Postman, chair of the communications department of New York University, remains relevant, “The clearest way to see through a culture is to attend to its tool for conversation (Amusing Ourselves to Death, 1985).” Today, the conversations that shape our public discourse and our social imagination is greatly influenced by what we can Like and Share.

Church Presence in Social Media. The next circle, the status of the church’s digital presence, is the one that should cause a bit more of panic and stress on our mental health. Everyone knows that supposedly the church is sent into the world to serve as its “salt and light” (Matthew 5:13-16). And because church people are by no means ‘bulletproof’, Apostle Paul gave a strong reminder of not letting the world provide the mold by which Christians are to conform themselves (Romans 12:2). Instead, they are to be people who keep their minds renewed and transformed into the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. But the more we examine how churches conducted themselves in social media, the less it appears faithful to its calling. 

Looking at the overlap of the circles of today’s digital world and the church’s digital persona, we will find that there is hardly any difference on how Christians, pastors and church leaders included, can treat one another, trash each other, and treat unverified information as gospel truths. A quick visit to some of the more popular ‘Christian’ FB groups will reveal the amount of salt worth trampling and amount of light sucked in a blackhole. All as a result of defending and insisting for what they believe in their hearts is true and just. This is where the mix of religion and propaganda can even be more damaging. Church people fight for political opinions not only for the sake of the common good but in the name of biblical faithfulness. To differ is to risk being branded as heretical if not altogether evil. And, as you can guess, the feeling is always mutual. In a digital wasteland fragmented by fake news and echo chambers, church communities swallowed in these toxic spaces have very little to offer as an alternative counter-culture. In fact, the degree of fragmentation and delusion to half-truths may even be worse. Tragically, this is the face of the church whose character is slowly being eroded by its digital habits. And, given the formative impact, there can be no denying that the virtual is as spiritual!

God’s In-breaking Kingdom. Fortunately, the kingdom of God is by no means limited to where the church has fallen short of and has failed. In fact, the kingdom of God transcends the borders and backyard of the church. George Eldon Ladd reminds us in his groundbreaking book on the topic, “the church is the community of the kingdom but never the kingdom itself” (The Gospel of the Kingdom, 1995). God’s mission of transforming the world, while primarily proclaimed by the church, is not exclusively carried out by people who call themselves Christians. Wherever life is encouraged to flourish, truth is upheld, and relationships are healed, you know God is at work. Regardless, if there are Christians around. The kingdom is ever on its way and it happens that at times the church so often arrives late.

No wonder it escapes not a few how God has always been at work, in ways that defy expectations, and if we bother to take a closer look, through people that will come as a surprise. Suffice it to say that in God’s kingdom, blessed shall be the nazi fact-checkers, the murdered journalists, the oddballs in toxic echo chambers, and even those who find it within themselves the simple act of just remaining sober. They are the ones who are in the overlap of the circles between today’s digital world and the kingdom of God. Unlikely agents of God’s healing touch in a fractured world. They may be far from the church but very likely near to the kingdom. The MIT summit that I mentioned, honestly, is the kind of conversations that I hoped we have in our Christian circles instead of the endless webinars left and right that offer very little help in healing the worsening fractures in our churches. 

Fortunately, there is that overlap between the kingdom of God and the church’s digital presence. We have here Christians who are caught in the tension of conviction between the need to love people and at the same time refuse lies. They navigate the fleeting space for hope wherein truth-telling and peace-keeping thrives alongside each other, without the need to sacrifice one for the other. They understand very well that severing relationships for the sake of truth is the badge of fundamentalists and legalists. But they also are very much aware that compromising truth for the sake of relationships is a sure step towards the rabbithole of injustice. Somehow, they know that the two have to be held together. A careful balance which the digital culture of social media has undermined and rendered almost impossible to recover. 

But there must be good news that Christians can offer right?

Biblical Framing: Truth and Grace. Do we have anything, from the deep wisdom of the Scriptures and in the clear example of Christ, that can point us to the steps moving forward? 

Immediately, what will come to mind is a familiar passage in John 1:14 that describes the remarkable life of Jesus: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth (ESV).” John the beloved could not have chosen a better pair of words: grace and truth. They sounded great together right? But we know in reality, these are two things that can cancel each other out. We see it everyday on social media. Truth thrown devoid of grace. Grace dispensed at the expense of truth. How could have Jesus made a happy fusion of these two seemingly contrasting values?

There are episodes of his life on earth that shed a clue. Two public engagements are worth noting:

In John 8:1-11, we read of how Jesus was confronted with the case of a woman caught in adultery. Jewish law demands that the penalty of wrongdoing be carried out. But Jesus chose to dispense grace and let the woman off the hook of the requirement of justice. Yet still, he made sure that the woman realized the error of her ways (v. 11). 

Then, in Luke 18:18-24, we read of how Jesus dealt with the rich young ruler. Jesus was blunt and straightforward. Publicly, he identified what was lacking in him and demanded what he himself said was impossible for mere mortals to render -perfection. But it is by this truthfulness that Jesus also opens the space for grace to come in (v. 27).

If anything, Jesus could not afford to either just be a prophet who cries ‘woe to you’ or a shepherd who ‘comes not for the healthy but for the sick.’ He is both. I guess, we cannot do so either. Prudence and discernment calls for us which of the two is needed at a particular moment. As usual, context and timing matters. But it may also be helpful if we can wrap our heads around the subtle irony that lies between the exercise of grace and truth: 

What if truth breaks into us fully when we realize that those people who are most undeserving of grace are actually the ones who need it most? What if grace grips us most when we realize the truth no matter how painful and blunt is what will eventually bring healing and closure?

In any case, my theological conviction is that the character of God’s kingdom we can best see in the life and example of Christ. Anything less are but echoes that need further fine-tuning. It is in Jesus’ story where justice, truth, peace, and grace all fall into their proper places. Going back to John 1:14, Jesus moved into our neighborhood so that we can see that the glory of God is most fully reflected when truth is wrapped in grace and grace is founded on truth.

If our truth-telling prevents us from extending grace to those who clearly have their hands dirty, then we fall short of Jesus’ words on the cross; “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Except for vengeance and retribution, we will have nothing to offer to those who made the hammers fall, people who have earned the right to become our enemies. 

If our peace-keeping prevents us from telling the truth to those who need grace the most, then we fail to follow the badass Jesus who hesitates not in calling people names when he has to. We will have nothing to say in the face of the Pontius Pilates and Caiaphases of today.

The tension between truth and grace shall remain and it ought to. There might be easy resolutions but I am of the view that this tension is part of the “here-but-not yet” aspect of the kingdom of God. So, we will continue to struggle and juggle until the kingdom comes in all its fullness when Christ returns. I will not forget what Miroslav Volf said when he was questioned by the great theology professor Jurgen Moltmann. Volf delivered a lecture that will serve as the framework of his book ‘Exclusion and Embrace’ (1996) wherein he argues to err on the side of forgiveness and grace. Professor Moltmann then asked him whether he can live by what he has written and be able to forgive the bloody Serbian murderers who massacred his people in Croatia. Volf responded by saying, “Well, I cannot. But as a follower of Christ, I should.”

When people drunk with power make us feel they are undeserving of grace and when people’s cry for justice make us want to see blood, we turn to Jesus and let his story continue to challenge us and to shape us. He left us the big picture of what it means to be a good neighbor especially for those who deserve it the least. More and more I am getting convinced that immersing ourselves in how Jesus loved others is what will help us bridge what we can't/won't do as human beings and what we are freed to do as his disciples.

Crux omnia pro bat. (The cross tests all things.)

Conclusion. I want to end by quickly looking into one of IVCF’s core values -holistic mission. Of course, an important aspect of this work is engaging in prophetic ministry, upholding justice and truth, so that social transformation, and not just personal conversion, will happen. So often, this passion for transforming society is what moves people to ‘cancel’ people so that truth shall prevail amidst a barrage of lies. But a good friend and mentor, Dr. Al Tizon, in his new book, said this:

“I see a great need to advance the meaning of holistic mission, to build on the evangelism and social justice affirmation, by understanding the ministry of reconciliation as the new whole in holistic mission. It must be if the Christian mission is to remain relevant in our increasingly fractured world. In the age of intensified conflict on virtually every level, it can no longer be just about putting words and deeds back together again (though it will take ongoing effort on the part of the church of the church to keep them together); holistic mission also needs to be about joining God in putting the world back together again (Whole and Reconciled, 2018).”

The point of social transformation is ultimately God’s longing for reconciliation. Truth that eradicates is no different from the bombs that got dropped in Palestinian homes. One can argue with a formidable case that it is justified but it won’t be a step towards the peace of Christ. Only towards the peace of Rome: Pax Romana (be at peace, otherwise, rest in peace). What is true of Gaza is also very much true of social media.

“There is no way to peace. Peace is the way. There is no path toward love except by practicing love. War will always produce more war. Violence can never bring about true peace.” -Richard Rohr

-Rei Lemuel Crizaldo, “Truth-telling and Peace-keeping in God’s Kingdom,” prepared for the webinar series on ‘Kingdom Calling’ by IVCF Philippines (May 22, 2021) 

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2020

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. And since this is 2020 the read through below features: a whole lot of depression, frank discussion about losing my cat, and pictures of my face.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Lost my best friend. I lost a hamster when I was about ten, but other than that, I’ve never lost a pet before. Losing Mal was the worst thing about an already awful year. I have lost family members that I have mourned less than her. I am still fucked up about losing her, and probably will be for a long while yet. 

Things that I haven’t done before - 2020 edition - consists of extreme depression, global pandemics, wearing a mask if I’m not either at home or in my car, having covid, being in the ER twice in one year, cutting all carbs and losing sixty pounds, spending a weekend in Vegas (in January, obvs), gambling (and winning over a thousand dollars), and probably a lot of other things that I’ve blocked out. But it’s always going to be the year that I lost Mal.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Apparently, according to 2019 me, my resolutions were to lose weight and quit smoking. Which, strangely enough, I actually did. Who knew that going to the ER for heart issues at the age of 30 would scare me into switching some things up.So, yay! I kept my resolutions.

Resolutions for 2021 - lose the rest of the weight. End goal is only another 50 pounds away. Write something original if you can, but don’t stress if you can’t. Heal. Be happier. Breathe deep. Don’t do something you’ll regret.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? One of my coworkers had a kid earlier in the year, but nothing since.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Mal. 

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries this year, because that is illegal. I did go to Las Vegas in January though, before the year turned into an absolute shitstorm. It was actually really wonderful, which I wouldn’t have expected out of Vegas. We watched our friends get married on the High Roller. Ate a lot of very good, but very expensive food. Gambled a bit and actually won money. Saw two Cirque du Soleil shows - the Beatles and water one. Saw the Bellagio fountains and maybe cried a little about it. It was really nice.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? Well, I didn’t get a ring and we didn’t get a house, but we also made the decision to not do that this year. We did however, get a better president, so that was nice. In 2021, I would like a little more serotonin and a little less anxiety. And I’m not gonna say a damn thing about a ring.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 20th, 2020. Any other dates don’t fucking matter. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I lost a ton of weight and quit smoking, hopefully for the last time. Covid didn’t kill me. I didn’t kill me. I know that sounds bad, but it was a really, really horrible year.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know. Not being able to save her? Not knowing that the heart abnormality had gotten that bad? Not getting her on clot busters the minute we took care of the thyroid problem.  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had Covid near the end of October and had regular illnesses a couple times throughout the year. I went to the ER in May for heart-related problems. And I’ve had debilitating headaches every single day since Covid, so. Yes. 11. What was the best thing you bought? We rescued a new kitten approximately four days after we lost Mal. It was too soon, I think, and if I could have done it again, I may have waited longer. But BMO was incredibly depressed after she passed and had basically stopped eating, so we were desperate. But I can’t regret getting her. She’s been the little bit of sunshine we’ve had since October.  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know. Everyone and everything sucked this year. 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know, mine? I’ve come a long way this year in terms of weight loss and smoking and holding it together, but I’ve also sunken into the deepest hole that I’ve possibly ever been in since September. I will always be deeply frustrated by Nick’s mother and my mother, so that’s not really new. Everything sucked. Hopefully 2021 is better.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bullshit medical stuff. Turns out that two ER trips, countless doctor visits, and dental fuckery is really expensive. I did also go slightly crazy and bought Nick too many gifts this year, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t bad. Also planning on buying a relatively pricey comforter as soon as I’ve confirmed that I haven’t gotten it for Christmas. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I am going to be completely and totally serious when I say that I don’t think I’ve experienced true excitement since about February. I did get a very intense, brief spike of serotonin when I saw the new Dragon Age and Mass Effect trailers. But like. I don’t know. That’s kind of it. 

Okay, no, that’s a lie. I was happy to lose the weight I did and was super proud of myself and my health was phenomenal, but then Mal happened and covid happened and it’s hard to see the good things that happened this year when I feel this fucking horrible right now.

16. What song will always remind you of 2020? Toss a Coin to Your Witcher (because yeah, that was this year, fuck). Teeth. Don’t Get Me Wrong. The Untamed theme. Well, the entire Untamed soundtrack. Dance Monkey. We Won’t Be Falling. Promare soundtrack. Own Me. Into the Unknown. Monster. Waving Through a Window. Eurovision soundtrack. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? So much more depressed. Which says a lot, because 2019 was not super great. ii. thinner or fatter? But hey, on the plus side my answer to this question is finally thinner. iii. richer or poorer? Probably around the same. Or maybe poorer? I had a lot in my savings last year that I had to dip into because of medical shit. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d done... anything. I wish I was allowed to leave my house without worrying about infecting myself or others. I wish that I had gone to the park more. I wish that I’d travelled. I wish that I’d written more. I wish I’d cooked more. I wish I’d worked out. Spent more time with my cat.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? God, I fucking wish I’d spent less time in my apartment.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I don’t know. Nick’s family wants to have a big gathering since his grandpa might not be around next year? But the idea of that makes me super flinchey, for obvious reasons. I mean, I’m reasonably sure that the antibodies are still in our system, so we have a smaller chance of infection, but fuck. Also, large gatherings have been giving me anxiety, also for obvious reasons. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? I hope that we’re staying home. I want to make pirozki and spend the transition into the new year on my couch, maybe playing a video game, maybe napping. 22. Did you fall in love in 2020? Still love him. He got me through this year. I don’t think I could have done it alone. 23. Best month for you this year? January through March was not horrible. I can’t remember a definitive good month of the three, but January was Vegas, which was really good, so lets go with that.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2020? The Untamed (live action and anime), The Magicians, Guardian, various Watcher Entertainment segments, She-Ra (season 5!!!), The Haunting of Bly Manor, Over the Garden Wall, Leverage, Motherland: Fort Salem...

My favorite being The Untamed, hands down. Obviously.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think I have enough energy for hate at this point. I’m just tired.

26. What was the best book you read? Favorite was probably a tie between Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth, which works out well since they’re part of the same series. I really, really loved this series and am kind of sad that I have to wait until 2022 to get the third part of the trilogy. Top ten below, because why not.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue by V.E. Schwab

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur

The Last Sun (and it’s sequel) by K.D. Edwards

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Toss a Coin to Your Witcher has singlehandedly escorted me through 2020. Basically all the songs listed a couple questions up were my favorites of the year, but the Untamed soundtrack was probably my favorite. Promare soundtrack was also bomb af.

28. What did you want and got? Nick’s mom bought us nice bookshelves when we moved into the new place.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? A lot of things. Namely, I wish Mal was still with me.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Promare, 100% Most of the other movies I watched were all rewatches. I watched My Neighbor Totoro, Onward, Knives Out, Emma, and that Eurovision movie. They were all pretty swell.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I wrapped presents on the living room floor and watched Last Christmas, which I thought was just a rom-com Christmas movie but surprised the hell out of me at the reveal that her love interest was dead the whole time? Like? That came out of left field. We then had a very quiet lunch at the Lantern, the Chinese place we go every year, and ducked into Oakland Nursery and Barnes and Noble long enough to grab some plants and books. I also got to see the Easton Christmas tree from across the street. It was snowing and honestly, a really pretty day. Oh, also I had to go to the dentist. That was less fun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I’d been able to keep Mal. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? I wore a lot of comfortable work appropriate clothes and pajamas. My clothes don’t really fit me anymore since I lost all the weight, but I refuse to buy more until I’m actually at my goal weight. 34. What kept you sane? Nick was very helpful every time I had an anxiety attack and/or broke down crying. It could have been a lot worse, probably, but I literally cannot wrap my mind around that right now. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Every single actor in the Untamed live action is unfairly gorgeous, especially Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan. Also, Henry Cavill was a shockingly good casting for Geralt and needs to be grimey all the time because he is a LOT more attractive when it looks like he hasn’t showered in three weeks. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2020—– This has literally been my response since 2015. Here’s to hoping that it won’t be my response in 2021. Also, children in concentration camps? Lying to the public about the pandemic? The race riots that happened earlier in the year? Literally everything else? This year has been fucking awful. 37. Who did you miss? Mal. Myself when I’m not feeling like this. 38. Who was the best new person you met? Annie. New coworker, delightful lady. If the pandemic was not a thing I definitely would have already gotten drinks with her after work.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Uh. Annie is a delightful person and brought me and Nick food when we were wasting away with covid. She also gave us toilet paper when we ran out after all the assholes in the entire country bought all the toilet paper in March/April. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

This is me in like... February? I think? In public. Without a mask. I have lots of pictures of me in January, but all of them have someone else with me.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

Taken on my birthday, snatched just outside the doors of Barnes & Noble with the Easton tree across the street. Note the mask dangling from my ear.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Okay, so like. Two things. One- I had a meal in Vegas, that was fucking amazing. Actually I had a couple of those. Let me see if I can find pictures. Okay, so below are the two best meals I have eaten this year. The top is a butternut squash and pistachio ravioli, which came with this sweet butter sauce and it was so. fucking. good. Like, I have craved this thing since January. The bottom is the beef wellington at Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen. Which was... overpriced, but admittedly still delicious. I could have lived off that damn ravioli though.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? My birthday was actually pretty okay, all things considered. The snow was magical and I felt solidly okay for most of the day. Other than that, all of the nights in Vegas were great.

44. What are you excited for next year? So, the message to me from 2019 me for this question is about how I was really sad on December 26th of 2019 and that I hoped that 2020 would be the year that we “seized life by the horns or whatever” and like. Baby. 2019 me. I realize your depression was valid, but holy fuck, my sweet summer child it got so much worse. Though, I guess technically I did seize life by the horns for a bit. And then September hit like a bag of bricks.

Anyway, I am cautiously optimistic and hopeful that the transition of power to Biden goes smoothly. I’m hoping that things get better and not worse. I’m excited for several books, movies, and games, but mostly, I’m hoping that things are better. 

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: My message from last year was this:

“I feel like my message from last year is fucking taunting me. Legit though, this is not the worst thing you’ve ever been through. You have a boyfriend who loves you, two wonderful cats that better not fucking die anytime soon, and like, I don’t know, working ovaries. A job. A car. An apartment that has a kind of shitty kitchen and a bath tub that might as well not exist, but is still an apartment! Which is more than some people have!”

Thanks 2019 Heather. It got worse. (Though admittedly, and knock on fucking wood, but 2019 me is right. It could technically still get worse. But I have hope that it won’t.)

My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I am going to make it through this year If it kills me - This Year, The Mountain Goats

(2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me is just tired and clinging to life by my damn fingernails.)

First Fandom of 2020: January of 2020 seems to have been solidly The Magicians, The Witcher, and The Untamed. Favorite Main Character of 2020: Wei Wuxian, fuck. Favorite Villain of 2020: Wei Wuxian, fuck. Close second if that doesn’t apply - Xue Yang. Favorite M/F Couple of 2020: Does Parker/Elliot/Hardison count? Because them, holy fuck. Also, female!Byleth/Jeritza. Favorite F/F Couple of 2020: Catra and Adora!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!! Er. Also, Harrow/Gideon.  Favorite M/M Couple of 2020: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji. Close second is probably Ryan/Shane. Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: Honestly, probably the Untamed. I’m not usually crazy about live actions, but fuck, it was good. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher. Also, in the last month I have been all over Mark/Damien(/Sam) from the Bright Sessions because I just listed to Neon Darkness. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Yeah, idk. There’s crack in every fandom. Last Fandom of 2020: Buzzfeed Unsolved. And honestly, I’m still not out of The Untamed.  Favorite Fandom of 2020: Definitely the Untamed. Dipping into the Witcher was also nice.