#1400mg

[flowercrowngods]

"Stevie," Eddie says, wincing at the stale air in the room. It's almost pitch black, except for the lamp in the corner that colours everything dark blue, and the glow stars on the ceiling that they'd put up together, making pretend constellations in pretend galaxies.

"Go 'way," Steve mutters, head buried beneath two pillows and hands clasped tight around them, as though that will be the thing that fixes him, that keeps the bad away. Eddie sighs, not at Steve, but at the awfulness of it all. He fiddles with the blister pack in his fingers, and allows the condensation from the water bottle in his other hand to soak his palm.

"Please, baby," Eddie says. "You need to take your meds. The doctor said - "

"Fuck the doctor," Steve curses angrily, muffled.

"Maybe later, once you've taken your meds," Eddie says calmly, or aiming for calm. He hates seeing Steve hurting, and Steve hurts a lot. More than he'd like. More than he knows he realises.

Steve emerges from his pillow prison slowly, blinking like it hurts him to do so, and Eddie knows it does, so he just holds out the water bottle, cap off, and Steve drinks greedily, throat working hard, whilst Eddie pops out two pills. Steve makes a pitiful noise as Eddie hands them over, but reluctantly takes them, screwing up his eyes against the taste before swallowing down more water.

"You did so good," Eddie says. Steve shakes his head then moans. "It's okay," Eddie says. "Back under the pillows now. The pills will work soon."

"I hate this," Steve says. "I hate that you have to see this."

"I know you do. I hate seeing it. But only because it's my favourite person in the whole world suffering. Not for any other reason. Please don't think it's for any other reason," Eddie says softly. Steve makes a small noise, already piling the pillows back over his face. Eddie reaches out and strokes the back of his hand.

Steve's hands clench, then unclench, before relaxing.

"I'll be around, if you need me," Eddie says, before standing. He pauses at the door. He looks at Steve's prone form, the invisible war in his head. "It's not rotten work, you know? Never, actually."

He pulls the door to, but doesn't close it entirely, just to make sure he can hear Steve if he needs to. He never, ever wants Steve to think he's a burden. Not when he loves that boy more than breathing. Not if it's you, not if it's me.

not if it’s us

[landofadonises]

Operation Adonis - National Guard; The Transformations, NG-AD0372 750mg-1800mg

As probably most wise men have said at least once... all good things come with pain. A varying amount of pain. A pleasurable amount of pain. Or... was it just pleasure?

These men didn't start from nothing. Sure, there were adonises walking the land, but the situation needed a jump-start. The nation's scientists were fully focused on NG-AD0372--colloquially called Alpha Dom--and what better group to test this on than the men that desired, wept, and yearned for its results?

Maybe they didn't know what they were asking for, and anxiety's one hell of a thing, but after they got through it, they'd give it to everyone if they could. It'd be the only way someone could handle them--being just as strong as them. Based on their initial size, these men were injected with 750mg to 1800mg of Alpha Dom, 1800mg being exclusively for those already of immense stature, a rare case, and injections above 1400mg often leading to confinement for a time until exhaustion and rehabilitation.

Please note the initial set of documentation above reflecting photography taken on initial onset of the drug's effects--some during inspection in the barracks, some in the bunks, others in the mess hall... all feeling their muscles writhe under their skin, veins surging with power, size increasing, bodies expanding... and continue to note the following documentation of photography taken during the transformations. Some cohorts of these test subjects were caught in the fray, pleading with their newly-expanding companions to unflex, release, let go of their hair, their backs... but all falling on deaf ears as these men's ears were ringing, vision blinded white as they felt the euphoria of hundreds of pounds of muscle stacking on their frames.

Superiors were never happy when they heard a new subject struggling to enter the bathroom with a friend to yell in peace, trying to salvage some semblance of decorum and grace, having no idea what was going on. By the time things were done, they were stuck in the stalls, shoulders pressed on each side, and had to be told to just break them so they could get out. Same for the bunkbeds, the examination tables... This was a very expensive time for the reserves budget.

[flippphones]

1400mgs of Cava instead of alcohol, your girl is feeling… nauseous

[yumzlab4]

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[behempyuk]

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[roy-illumibuddy-borrego]

You know it's not a funday #Sunday unless you have some #hippiejuice and some #glass from @i.r.casto I have to say I am digging the #Pineapple the best. It's #Terpy and still strong enough to actually feel it. #Honestly I could use a #stronger dose just because I'm a #God bahahaha and can take mass & insane amounts of #THC but I suggest you #Muggles go a little easy and start with a #tablespoon. #theillumibuddycompany #freeshiping #love #hippiejuice #1400mg #medical #cannabis #love #albuquerque #hippiejuice_production (at Conchas Park, Albuquerque) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu5lzcdnPwj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=161ygx6kg6ybf

[vityah-moved]

i'm so fUCKIGN excited i'm shaking

[denoticias]

Hempure anuncia precios a granel Hempure CBD ha lanzado precios a granel en sus productos, que incluyen gotas de CBD, aceite de vape de CBD, gomitas de CBD, mascotas de CBD, cápsulas de CBD y bálsamo de CBD.

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

“But I’m getting abused. ¿Why am I so hard on myself for how my body looks? It’s a miracle I’m even alive.”

...So, Harvey came back out of dormancy today, & saw the body in a mirror, & went “ew”, then stopped to think for a minute.

They’re a trauma holder, & very self-aware of that, & while he’s not the most harsh on how ‘gross’, ‘fat’, or generally unacceptable our body is at any given time, he’s....not one of the gentlest either.

We don't know how long xey were dormant. It could've been dormant up to 17 years (he split in 2005). He doesn't remember yet.

But after pausing to think, he....said this (the top quote).

& gods, our brain glitched for a second....& everyone conscious/front stopped to think.

They’re right.

We’re still getting abused. Stress is stored in the body. We regularly don’t eat enough & get criticized when we eat more. Fucking of course we put some weight on (/annoyed at myself for being so critical over it).

So ¿why do we still instinctively go “ew” or flinch or body check ourselves?

We’re a barely-adult living in a house that’s so stressful that we felt safer & more comfortable sitting alone on a sidewalk curb in 20°F with biting cold wind for hours to avoid going home. Cold is a sensory no for us....we get physical pain stabbies when we're cold. But it still felt better than this house.

We take 7 pills (200mg each) of L-Theanine (an anti stress & anxiety reducing compound - note people without anxiety disorders take 50mg max & 200mg is supposed to be enough for an anxiety disorder) daily just to stop (1) violently shaking, (2) spiraling every second (/not even really an exaggeration - the moment we calm down anxiety finds another reason to spiral), (3) being constantly mute because nothing we could say is worth (a) the energy & effort it would take to speak, (b) fighting the anxiety to speak, &/or (c) the taunting, humiliation, or other abuse that our housemates would inflict based on whatever we say, (4) dissociating constantly, (5) twitching/jumping/etc. every time others speak, & (6) being unable to feel or express any emotions, or cry, because if we do we could get abused worse. It takes 1400mg of “calm tf down” pills. We only needed 200mg daily when we were at university full time leaving regularly before we knew we were getting abused, & after that 400mg was enough...until the pandemic locked us up inside the house alone with our abusers. Since then we had to take 4 pills (800mg), & now it's up to 7 just to function.

We have to take 70mg of melatonin to sleep. We fell asleep at a friend's house whom we trust without any melatonin or anxiety meds so it's not that we just....can never sleep. We're just that stressed & hypervigilant.

We are so overwhelmed on a daily basis we go nonverbal every day & can now take naps (we didn't used to be able to sleep if it was light out at all, never in the car or at home or anywhere, but we're just so exhausted & overwhelmed now we keep passing out).

....So ¿why?

¿Why is it a surprise that our body is stressed too?

And ¿why are we so hard on ourselves for how our body is showing signs of stress?

We’re allowed to show signs of stress. ¿Right?

¿...Right?

Maybe it’s because we’re always punished for showing outward (emotional) signs that we’re getting abused, & putting on weight is a sign we can’t hide. Maybe it’s because our parents are so critical of our weight already that we expect to be abused worse the more ‘fat’ we appear. Anxiety is trying to protect us.

This is just stream of consciousness at this point but.....yea.

Harvey is right.

We need to be less harsh on our body for showing the stress we’ve been forced to stay in denial about for 22 years. We need to show the stress somehow or we’ll explode (/not literal; exaggeration). So let it show.

~Nico

(co-host, protector; he/they)

((co-front: Harvey (protector, trauma holder; any pronouns but NOT she/her (includes neo & ancient, he/they/xey/it/etc.), Ward & Xen (gatekeepers), blur))

~~

Please, please don’t feel obligated, & don’t do so if it will financially harm you in any way....

but, if you want to help (since Nico just openly talked about abuse)....

We can do tarot readings if you'd like something in exchange, or you can donate directly to us.

We need a car (we have $3400 out of $5000 needed (so we still need $1600); all our work money goes to that fund), car insurance ($1500-$2000 expected, currently $0), & food (literally anything helps, we're so busy saving for a car we haven't spent any money on food). $1 donations add up, so please don't feel bad if you can't send more. ((& if you can & do send more, please don't do so with the expectation that we can pay you back. We're a disabled neurodivergent multiplicity system working a minimum wage job (fast food)...we can't pay anyone back.))

No matter what you send, thank you. Reblogs also help if you're willing.

Ca$h App: $StardustVoidGalaxy

((We might give other ways to send money if you ask & we have a Ko-Fi, I just don't know its @ & don't have the energy to go look right now. We just got home from a 9 & 1/2 hour work shift.))

~Xen/Zen (gatekeeper, protector; xey/they/he)

[turtle-to-eternity]

Diet 17: Listing Supplements

~09/08/2021~

Another great day for my health! I got up 2 hours late but still did all the most important stuff.

Took all of my medicines & supplements agaiinn~

I have been thinking about listing them, so I will. Maybe it'll help someone feel less self-conscious about their daily regimen. I'm not trying to impress you with mine.

~ 1-a-day "men's" health multivitamin tablet

~ 1 1400mg omega-3 fish oil pill

~ 1 400mg magnesium tablet

~ 1 rounded teaspoon of powdered fiber supplement

~ 1 75mg antidepressant pill

~ 1 30mg ADHD medication pill

Only 1 protein shake again, same reason as yesterday. I will drink both today, though. I think I can handle the caffeine better than I previously believed.

Calories: 1780/2200

[deamlife]

Glutamine 1400mg - Pure Essential Amino Acid - L-Glutamine Diet Supplement for Workout Recovery, Optimum Fitness Performance, Lean Muscle Growth and Better Endurance - Athlete Tested - Made in USA

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[behempyuk]

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[deepgreenteam-blog]

Good morning , very stoned from. Awesome #medicated #cannabisDinner last night #1400mg #bestalarmclock #loudog #Frenchie @fadedfortune420 (at San Carlos, California)

[runningshoes88]

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[herbalnessstore]

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