#101. ❝i know life is a journey.❞ — V1 ( traveller )

[decoysouled]

a few various sentence starters // accepting. @eternalbxtterfly // ❝ do you like it here? with me? ❞ {{Aether}}

OF ALL PLACES IN TEYVAT, Mondstadt is the place that Aether would claim to like the most — if only because it is the first place he visited upon leaving the wilderness he had wandered for months & the place where tentative friendships were first made. It doesn't matter, in the end, that one day he will leave to cross the stars once more & this place will be nothing more than a momentary rest in a sea of memories.

For now, he doesn't need to think of that. For now, he can enjoy the places he travels, even if he can't help but wonder if Lumine enjoyed being in the city too.

( or was her favourite place somewhere in the darkness that lays beneath the world? was it in the ruins of a nation he had never been to? )

❝I do.❞ Aether responds to her question after a moment, as if he wasn't sure of what his answer would be. He likes Mondstadt, that much is true, & Elise wasn't exactly bad company — the opposite, really, considering she had become a friend on which he could rely on in the time they had known each other. ❝After all, what's not to like? I'm in a place I like with a friend I care for.❞

& how long would moments like this last before this world was forgotten like countless others before it?

[decoysouled]

what are you seeking?

HOME.

"i wish i could say i am a light that never goes out, but i flicker from time to time."

oh, little one, you have burned for so quietly for so long, haven't you? burnt yourself out trying to give others light? wishing, desperately, that they would notice the way your hands shake or the wildflower bruises under your tired eyes. but they never have, have they? and so, it obviously wasn't bad? right? you had more to give, didn't you?

how much could you pour yourself out before they noticed?

it is all you've ever known, after all. help, help, help, help. (are you providing it, or begging for it?) but you've given too much, spread yourself too thin, didn't you? you are so heavy, so tired. you have spent your life carrying for others the way you wished someone would care for you. but you're worried, aren't you? that if you can't be what they need, if you can't be the pillar for others to lean on, they'll leave you.

what you seek is home, a safe place to rest and be taken care of. and little light, you deserve it. you have earned it. you are worth more than what you can provide for others: you deserve the same care you so freely give out. they will love you all the same, honey. set down the world, and rest that weary heart of yours.

tagged by: @ruinlost tagging: anyone who wants to do it <3

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // accepting. @drolliic // A hand settles firmly on Aether's shoulder before Kazuha speaks. "When was the last time you took a break, Aether?" although it's posed as a question, a gentle smile dangling from it, wandering samurai has no qualms to quite literally pick the Traveller up and personally make sure he takes some time to himself.

HE IS NOT SO FOOLISH AS TO IGNORE THE THREAT IN THOSE WORDS — naïve as Aether has the potential to be at times, ( or perhaps they are simply in denial, preferring to see the best in others because cynicism would lead their immortal life to be a more lonely existence than it already is. ) he is not so foolish to be unable to figure out that it is no question, but an insistence he takes a break from the daily routine of helping others that has taken quite the toll on his health as of late.

( helping has always been a welcome distraction from grief, proof they have had an impact, that they exist, that they did not simply watch idly as worlds fell into ruin. )

The hand on his shoulder feels both light & heavy at the same time — it is almost dizzying, to realise his perception of the world is off-kilter enough that he can't tell which it is supposed to be. Or maybe it only feels light because he is unused to touch, these days, even that which is firm & intended to ground him, or so he thinks. He's not quite sure, actually, what the purpose of it is, except that maybe Kazuha is trying to keep him from running away like he does most of his problems.

( or to still their hands, to take their attention from their attempts to sort through their current tasks. )

Truth be told, Aether is uncertain of where to begin with his answer to Kazuha's question, if only because he hasn't a clue what constitutes a break. If a break can be unwilling, then perhaps the two months of travelling through the wilderness before he came upon signs of civilisation might count, or the five hundred year sleep that was forced upon him before that.

But what of a willing break, the sort that one might call a holiday? Try as he might, Aether comes to the conclusion after an eternity ( what must have only been a few minutes ) of thought that he has not taken a break in recent memory — he & Lumine had travelled from world to world, carving out places for their own history, taking sides & casting judgement on others in warring galaxies that would later tear themselves apart no matter what Aether said & did.

( they have tried, of course, to still their hands & ignore the itch for validation via helping others. it has never worked. )

❝It's been long enough.❞ This is the only semi-honest response he can formulate, if only because he's concerned that Kazuha might see right through him if he makes any attempt to lie — after all, the evidence of sleepless nights must reside somewhere within his expression for the other to approach him at all. Either that, or he has simply been talked about by others having done enough as of late to warrant some sort of concern.

( they worry, briefly, that perhaps the mask of optimism has slipped. they hope he has not seen right through them into the harsh reality of sadness that tends to weigh them down. )

❝I mean, I take breaks pretty often.❞ It's a lie, Aether is sure that he can tell, if only because his constant travels would make that a rather interesting feat — in the end, there is only so much time to relax when he is constantly drifting from place to place, searching for something to do. Idling only tends to fuel boredom & allow grief to fester where it is unwelcome, so what little free time he has is often spend remodelling his teapot to meet the aesthetic demands of his companions.

( it may be a place for them to live during their time on teyvat, but they much prefer to welcome the company of friends by making it appeal to their companions than trying to figure out their own tastes & risk living amongst the ghosts of their past. )

❝But if you're really sure I'm in need of a break, I can spare some time. It's been a while since we did anything together, after all, so I don't mind.❞ The words are accompanied by a flicker of happiness in his eyes & a warm smile that does not quite reach them — it hasn't done so in a very long time, but that does not matter much on days like this, where fleeting joy takes root within his heart.

❝I can always finish this all another day, I'm sure.❞

[decoysouled]

don't know if this is platonic or romantic, but chongyun adores aether anyway. also, there is a single whole bingo!

dash game: bingo // Aether edition // accepting.

❝Not putting me in the jail is the most important part — I'm glad to have so much in common with such a good friend, either way!❞

[decoysouled]

AETHER WOULD NOT CALL HIMSELF A GOD — everlasting, divine, otherworldly; those were all accurate descriptors, but to claim the title of a god would be far too conceited for his liking. It is an idea that is unwelcome at best, regardless of how his power ( before they had the majority of it torn from them ) may have put them on the same level as one.

& the way Cyno mentions having thought him reserved is confusing, for Aether is sure he has been more than forthcoming with his thoughts, tidbits of omitted information aside. He isn't necessarily wrong, however, with the speculation that Aether was possessive with his things — as rare as it was, there were items he would never allow another to see, such as piles upon piles of journals detailing a life longer than one could comprehend.

( with pictures & stories of every person they have ever cared for hidden inside the pages of aged paper. )

❝You aren't wrong that I can be possessive of my things sometimes.❞ This is a truth he can divulge, one that would not be unsafe to make known to Cyno. ❝But that's mostly with my journals, or gifts from friends.❞ Both those he knows in the present after meeting them throughout his journey & those who are long gone, turned to ashes & stardust that would float throughout the universe for an eternity.

❝You're also right that I have no vision. I don't need one to use the elements.❞ For they once wielded something far more powerful than dendro or anemo, even if that power had been drained from them by a god so many centuries ago. ❝I don't think I'd be able to hide one easily, even if I did, but it's easier to let people think I have one than explain why that I don't.❞

It's better for the people of Teyvat to believe he is one of them rather than an outsider to a world that rarely has dealt with them.

❝Although, I wouldn't call myself or Lumine gods, Cyno. I'd prefer you not think of me as one either, if you were, considering I'm not nearly as powerful as one.❞ At least, he wasn't currently on par with any of Teyvat's gods where power was concerned. Even fighting a single one had been impossible without the help of others. ❝If you really have to think of me as something other than human, I would be more akin to a star in the sky.❞

Against the sting of his wound, Cyno sat still, and listened. Letting that information wash over him like cold water. Each bit more incredible than the next. All things that would have him question the Traveler's sanity, had he not been there to see the truth unfold before his very eyes.

Eternal. Immortal. Did that mean nothing would even have happened to him, had Cyno just left him to the storm? There was a bit of shame spilling into his heart at the thought, and a sense of inadequacy. And yet, at the same time, he thought that if he could have gone back to that moment he'd done exactly the same again.

It wasn't about doing what was necessary; he cared to do what was right.

"... You know. I always thought you were just particularly reserved, or maybe possessive of your things. But now I wonder... you don't even have a Vision on you, do you?" He asked, eyes shifting once more from the fire, to Aether's hands working around his shoulder, scanning over his clothes even now. Just how many times had his mind excused all the oddities that could have pointed him to the truth sooner?

"What does this make you and your sister? Gods? Is that it?"

[decoysouled]

"What do you think, Traveler~?"

Aether bingo card // accepting.

THIS IS A LITTLE BIT UNEXPECTED — truth be told, he hadn't been expecting anyone to fill more than a few boxes, yet it seemed that he had been incorrect in such an assumption, considering Lyney seemed to be more his type than Aether had realised. At least, he hadn't considered the other to be his type at all, even if the flowers received had left him rather flustered.

( there were probably a lot of signs, but the way they struggled to get a hold of themself when he did such cute tricks should have been their first clue that he truly did fit into their type. )

❝I think that you're great company.❞ Aether replies, his lips curled into a small smile that is not quite feigned — rarely is it he feels that spark of joy in his chest, rarely is it he expresses it, too. ❝And we should go stargazing when you're next free. I've found some pretty nice places in Fontaine for it.❞

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // accepting. @rcsadimare // "" aether ? "" it was the first time she had been in this strange little teapot , ever since invited to come . she didn't know where to go , or where not to go even ; but navia remains quiet and calm , and a big smile appears on her face once she sees the blonde . "" aether ! "" she goes to hug the traveler , careful of the box in her hands . "" i brought you some cakes and desserts ! i hope that is alright ? ""

THE TEAPOT WAS A CONSTANT MIX OF BEAUTIFUL AREAS & STRUCTURES THAT LOOKED ALMOST OUT OF PLACE — perhaps it is the mix of architecture styles from various places he has visited or the way he has little eye for colour, or as he has been told before, a simple lack of effort. Of course, he had at least tried a little harder to make it look nice after the comment of how sad it made a certain friend of his to see the emptiness of the domain.

( they aren't so sure they had succeeded quite yet. )

Nonetheless, it seems Navia had at least chosen a good day to visit, considering he had finally finished putting together a nice area by a small pond — a table and a set of chairs sat beneath the shade of trees from Mondstadt, flowers from various places surrounding it, if only because he had found himself unable to decide between the beautiful greenery of Sumeru, the flowers of Fontaine & the glowing plants that typically caught his eye whenever he visited certain areas of Inazuma.

He pays no mind to the giant pile of rocks on the other side of this island, barely hidden by the main house, if only because he's sure acknowledging it & the effort it would take to clean it up & create what he was planning to would be far too much work for him to even consider doing so for the next century or seven. Aether hopes that Navia would do the same, although he isn't so sure he has anything to worry about.

( she is much too kind, after all, in their eyes. )

When he first hears her voice, he almost thinks he may be hallucinating from a lack of company from anyone in... however long he had been in the teapot — it is a struggle to keep track of time with the lack of day-night cycle within his space, although he rarely spent enough time in it for that to matter. It was only when he felt the need to find some semblance of calmness that he had decided to retreat to the domain for longer than a night's sleep would take, if only to grapple with the whirlwind of emotions he had felt as of late.

( including their lingering distrust of any dessert monsieur neuvillette may decide to offer in the future. false charges or not, with the way some people had been acting, they aren't so sure accepting a gift again from him would be a good idea. )

The second time he hears her call his name, however, Aether finds himself looking to the direction it had come from, a hand raised in a wave as she approaches. Of course, it is lowered back to his side by the time she has greeted him with a hug, one he gently returns for a moment with one arm, as if to avoid the box she holds — if she's brought something, he'd rather not crush it, & such a theory is confirmed moments later when she mentions having brought some desserts.

( it is a kind gesture & one they would be remiss to accept without offering anything in return. )

❝It's really good to see you, Navia.❞ He responds as he lets go, lips curled into a bright smile — a happy one that is not as feigned as it usually would be, the sort of which has been more genuine as of late, albeit it was often replaced more with sheepishness or uncertainty amidst the chaos of Fontaine's courts for a long enough time it was noticeable.

❝Of course it's okay.❞ He continues, a calmness to his voice that he has struggled to find for a short while now. ❝You'll join me, right? I've been redecorating & I could use your opinion... & I have some tea from my last trip to Liyue that could use drinking, too, if you'd like to give it a try?❞ It is a carefully phrased invitation to join him, if only to avoid pressuring her to do so, albeit it is by no means ingenuine or forced.

( perhaps some time with a friend is all they need right now. )

[decoysouled]

asoiaf: a dance with dragons starters // accepting. @galactia // ❝ it is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. ❞ Kaeya remarked, while sharpening his own sword, ironically. He flashed a smile at Aether, "See? I only sharpen my sword in front of you."

BETRAYAL WAS NOTHING FOREIGN TO AETHER — to live such a long life came with intimate knowledge of the universe's perils, of the way all lifeforms would sooner bury a friend than themselves with so few exceptions that they may as well not exist, anomalies that could not be counted. Perhaps Kaeya is one of those anomalies, someone who Aether could find some trust for ( deep within their heart ) however misplaced it may be.

( one day, they will stand opposed with blades aimed toward each other. such is the nature of all things. one day, Aether will be grateful for it. )

Perhaps he should feel grateful for what Kaeya promises within those words, for his pledge that he would not betray Aether ( not yet ) & he might have if it didn't feel wholly like misdirection — it is cynicism that rests deep within his heart, the likes of which he has spent eons burying & yet could not rid himself of. Aether is aware, in the end, of what he is like: someone who claims optimism, who allows himself naivety, yet in the end it has always been an act, a desperate attempt to ignore his wounds by forgetting their existence altogether.

( some days, they cannot ignore them so readily. )

❝You're always good with advice, Kaeya.❞ Aether speaks, his voice level & eyes fixated on him, lips curled into a small smile as if to return the one he has been offered. He remains quiet for a moment as if to gather his thoughts, to put them into order & speak his mind freely rather than allowing them to remain stuck to the roof of his mouth like paper. His words were always watched, these days — too many secrets rested within that soul of his to speak of.

( they weighed upon their heart like bricks. )

❝I don't think either of those are anything to worry about, though.❞ The smile that had formed on his face fades as fast as it had appeared, uncharacteristic for Aether ( who had always tried to seem happy & unbothered by the cruelties of the world ) yet fitting for the subject matter of their conversation. ❝The people who you have to fear are the ones who are still breathing. The dead have nothing further to say.❞ There is a tendril of anger that strikes into his tone, the type that is aged & subdued yet not quite as invisible as he wished for it to be.

❝But the living?❞ He moves his gaze from Kaeya to instead focus on the ground, as if to avoid any show of emotion on his face — he has never liked to show vulnerability, not even to Lumine, yet he could not claim his friend to be undeserving of a show of emotion, either. ❝All the living know is to betray. To leave those around them to pick up the pieces. All you can do is hope you betray them first.❞

( it will lessen the pain of knowing they would have done the same to you. )

[decoysouled]

transferred from archived blog & lost meme // not accepting. @galactia // ‘ i've had to give up things but what i've learned is that i don't need much. i don't need much to be happy. ’ (Kaeya to Aether)

WHAT WAS NEEDED TO BE HAPPY WAS UNATTAINABLE. There are few things that he finds himself more certain about than this — perhaps it is because he feels the need to plead for love in places it is not given, to tear himself apart to see happiness on the face of someone he cares for, & thus he does not understand the meaning of a joy that is more than just a fleeting feeling he cannot hold onto no matter how hard Aether tries to keep it close to his heart.

( it has been so dreadfully long since delight had greeted him like an old friend rather than a passing thought. )

Perhaps this is a result of living too long — eons of grief would leave anyone unable to feel anything other than sorrow, would leave anyone desolate of positive emotion no matter how hard they might try to dredge some up from within the depths of their heart. Or perhaps this is the way Aether soothes himself, the way he justifies how he clings onto the sadness like it is a lost lover, a bittersweet end; something he cannot let go of.

( for what are they without their sorrow? what are they without their grief? they don't want to know the answer. they know they are hollow. they wish to learn how to be someone whole. they are afraid they will never be anything more than this. )

❝Then what do you need? To be happy?❞ His question is spoken in a quiet voice, hesitation in every word — as if he is almost too shy to ask, as if he is worried his own sadness ( the struggles on their shoulders ) would become clear as the winter sky should he even dare to hint at their existence. ❝I think... it takes a lot, to feel happiness. You have to bury your aches & sew shut your wounds.❞ & to do so without the help of another is a monumental task.

( they wonder when they will be done closing them & when the scars of old hurts would begin to fade. they wonder if they ever will. )

❝You can't just ignore them.❞ He continues his ramble, a softness on the edge of his tone, a pain buried deep within layers of words that he hopes is not audible — he has spent far too much time pretending to be alright to allow himself to unravel like this, to show some sort of vulnerability in a twisted attempt to understand what can be done to feel something other than what he might describe as anguish.

❝& if you bury them deep enough, they'll bury you instead. I think that's a lot more work than simply not taking much to be happy. Don't you?❞

[decoysouled]

transferred from archived blog & lost meme // not accepting. @eternalbxtterfly // for whatever it’s worth,i’m with you. {{Aether}}

FEW PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS TO HIM BEFORE — & of those who had, so few of them had meant it that the words were no more than an empty promise to him. Yet, she spoke so genuinely ( as if she meant it ) that he could not find it within himself to doubt her conviction. Not yet. Not now. One day, Aether is sure she will break this half-promise ( is that how it was meant? ) to him as easily as everybody else had, if only because fate was a cruel joke.

It never did change, not even for those who fought against it. All it did was repeat in one endless loop he never could escape.

❝It's worth more than you think.❞ Aether responds, that soft sadness often present in his voice lingering on the end of the sentence — a remnant of memories that would repeat endlessly until there was no more time for them to do so. How often it is, these days, that he feels sadness blooming where he wishes joy could be. ❝I'm with you too, until the time comes when you don't need my help. For whatever it's worth.❞

It is simply a return exchange, a wry smile playing on his lips. ❝No matter what you need, you can always come to me.❞ It is a promise he readily makes & intends to keep, for even if others had never kept an oath to him, Aether's own were those he would keep. Perhaps she will take him on this offer, someday.

Perhaps he will let her.

[decoysouled]

transferred from archived blog & lost meme // not accepting. anonymous // make me choose @ aether: lumine or teyvat?

MANY TIMES HAS AETHER BEEN LEAD TO THIS QUESTION: this choice that he does not wish to make & wishes he did not need to, but time & time again he has been forced to abandon worlds to follow his sister across the stars — to protect her from harm, to fight alongside her in every battle, to preserve the culture of his home & keep it close to his heart. The power of suns rests within the two of them, always a pair.

( like a binary star system, she used to tell them. we'll always travel together, Aether. i won't go where you won't follow. sometimes, they think back to those days; to promises never kept. you did this time. they whisper to the false sky. why won't you come with me again? )

In the past, this answer has always been clear: it will always be Lumine that he goes with in the end, no matter how many people he would stay for. Even those he loved once had been left behind with tearful farewells ( or none at all, if they could not find the courage to say them. ) & so, Teyvat would be no different. Someday, he would leave to be at Lumine's side, to guard her & fight at her side.

( because that was it, wasn't it? their destiny & hers intertwined. one could not exist without the other, some cruel twist of fate given to the unwitting & unwilling. )

Yet, what of her plans? If she plans to raze the world to the ground, to destroy it & create something new in its place, would he not be obligated to stop her even at the cost of his own life ( if it would ever end or simply begin again ) or that of others? If she were to succeed in her plans without harm to the world, to bring back a nation long gone, then would she stay? Would she leave him alone to seek his fate in unreachable corners of the universe?

If she were to burn away the world to create a new one... He isn't so sure he would have the strength to fight against her. He's not sure he has the strength to lose another person he cares for, either. It is this that is the crux of his conundrum, in the end: the problem to which he has no solution.

❝I'll choose her. Unless she plans to destroy this world or harm those within it, I will always choose her.❞ Aether murmurs in response to a question he cannot truly decide his answer to. Perhaps this will change eventually — one day, he will live his own life independent of her. One day, he will allow himself selfishness instead of this current existence, the one where everything he does is to help ( to allow themself a twisted sense of worth ) until his body gives out & even then, he does not allow himself the luxury of care.

This existence in which his every moment is spent giving until there is nothing left to gift & then giving more; tearing himself apart to make sure everyone else is alright before he even dares to worry about himself.

❝Maybe it's selfish... but I don't want to be alone when the end comes.❞ The end of his life — perhaps that will be at the end of time, or the end of a world or a galaxy or a universe. Will he still be here, Aether wonders, when everything else has vanished into oblivion? He wishes he knew. ❝Lumine is the only person I've had for the time we've been alive. Even if she no longer wants me around... Whatever I have to do to be useful to her, I will.❞ Even if it goes against his morals.

Even if he must twist himself into a monster, no matter how much it hurts.

[decoysouled]

TO BE BLIND & TO HOLD WILFUL IGNORANCE WERE NOT THE SAME, albeit Aether does not bother to relay this to her, instead biting his tongue. Lumine does not need to know of his inner turmoil, of the need to prove himself that has plagued him for the longest of times — even before this, he would readily cut his heart out if someone needed it because their own would no longer beat. However, this part of his nature has long since been something he kept to himself.

( they are sure she knows this about them, anyway, so there is no point in reminding her of it. )

To be a saviour means that he is worth keeping around, that he has done something in his life that makes him worthy of the praise he is given — he wonders just how long he will be this way: a person swayed by the compliments of others & a person willing to drown his own morals simply to help others, to prove that he is worthy of attention & care. The person he has been is not desirable, but he is unsure of how to break the chains of his own lacking self-worth.

( if they even want to. if they have the strength to. )

❝To rid them of the heavens doesn't mean they have to go, too.❞ Aether speaks, albeit uncertainty drips from every word — he knows little of the way Teyvat's laws work, if the destruction of the unknown god who had cleaved their fates apart would be a way to prevent a tragedy occurring once more or if it would simply lead to the end of all those living in this world. He finds, in the end, that he would rather not find out the price that must be paid for redemption.

( they would gladly give their own life for it. )

❝Kindness isn't wholly different from naivety, Lumine.❞ It is the closest he will ever come to confessing his flaws, to admitting that he would rather be naïve & kind than to know the truth & allow it to change him — his sadness is held under lock & key in his heart & there it would forever remain. ❝Kindness... is allowing the people of this world to thrive, no matter the cost. You're right that the people of this world have been hurt by their own gods.❞ & she is correct about everything, but he cannot accept that.

There must be another way. He will find it.

❝People always find a way to hurt each other.❞ This is the truth of all beings in the universe: no one is peaceful, no one is innocent. All creatures, all people, have blood on their hands that cannot be shed. He is no exception. Lumine isn't, either. ❝But I can make sure that nothing like this happens again, even if it puts us at odds.❞ & this is the truth: Aether will save people & help them until he has nothing left to give, no matter the price he must pay.

No matter the price he already has.

Lumine let out another sigh and crosses her arms toward her twin’s resolve. She expected this will be his answer while both no longer see eye to eye, they share the same stubbornness so to speak.

“ Your heart REMAINS the same, Aether. I admire that THEY haven't TAINTED you but your VIEWS are still BLIND. ”

“ Enlight me, on what CHANGE will do on TEVYAT. It has been DECADES since the CATACLYSM. Nothing improved, they TRY to hide their GUILT and wallow in their GRIEF. Their people WORSHIP them while they DO nothing but harm. The archons FEAR the ‘heavens’ that SEPARATED us, they make sure that THEY are pleased. You fight MONSTERS that used to be PEOPLE who are just in constant agony. ”

“ They turn you into this SAVIOR but do NOTHING when you need a hand. Brother please, you're KIND but not NAÏVE. ”

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // always accepting // @petitexmagician. "Hi! Hi, sorry um.. just.. q-quick question if your not.. in a hurry..?" The magician was flushed and constantly looking up in the sky with a worried expression before holding up a owl feather with a sheepish grin. "I.. I know it sounds weird.. I mean compared to the normal things in teyvat b-but have you seen a owl fly by? M-mostly with a hat in their talons?"

AETHER WOULDN'T SAY HE'S IN A HURRY MOST DAYS — unless it's a time of crisis or he's doing something time-sensitive ( which is rarely ) then he has all the time in the world ( the universe will fade to nothing long before they do ) to help others, even if the requests are a little bit unexpected. Truth be told, being asked if he's seen an owl carrying a hat is one of the most normal things he's been asked in a long time, even if he is a bit puzzled on why it would have a hat at all.

Unless, of course, it had stolen her hat? It would make sense as to why she's searching for it if that were the case.

❝I can't really say I have. I'm sorry.❞ His response is hesitant, only a little bit of guilt finding its way woven into his words — he wonders, briefly, just how long she's been searching for this owl that she's resorted to asking random strangers if they've seen it, or if this is simply the start of her search for it.

❝But I'm not exactly busy right now, so if you need help searching for it, I can always look too, if you're alright with that.❞

[decoysouled]

a few various sentence starters // accepting. @dawnbrst // ❝ do you like it here? with me? ❞ for aether uwu

AETHER HAD ONCE THOUGHT HAPPINESS WAS AT HIS SISTER'S SIDE, travelling alongside her throughout the stars, watching as parts of the universe were born & died in tandem. Once, Lumine was the only connection he had throughout the cosmos, for they had left home together & he had never allowed himself to form attachments on the planets they visited.

( there was no use in growing attached to mortals, who would some day die, long after they abandoned the worlds they visited. )

Once, the only place he had liked was wherever his sister was. Perhaps it was silly to follow her wherever she wished to travel, as if there was nowhere else for him to be, as if there was nowhere else at all. It had been a silly endeavour, in the end, because for all he had stayed at her side, Lumine had left. & she hadn't come back, not like he expected her to, not like he would have.

( they would always return to their side, they tell themself. they would never have separated from her, no matter what goal they had to accomplish. )

Never has he enjoyed being apart from her, not even when he first awoke in a world without her. One so agonisingly void of his sister that at first, he had wondered if he would ever find her. Yet, when the other asks him that question, Aether has to bite his tongue from saying yes — because he shouldn't like it here, when Lumine is still out in the world with her goal in sight.

He shouldn't like it in this world, so full of tragedy & loneliness, or amongst its people, who will die long before Aether envisions his own demise finally arriving. He shouldn't like it here because Lumine is not at his side, not like she used to be, & he has never missed someone more than he misses his sister. He should not like it here because he does not deserve the love he is shown by someone he will someday leave.

( because when Lumine asks them to leave this world, to go with her, they will say yes. they will leave all they have grown to love. )

For the first time in a long time, the question that falls from Diluc's lips ( so curious, so genuine, that it hurts ) leaves them with pause — not because they don't like it here, with him, watching the world go by between their travels to the other nations within Teyvat yet always returning to Diluc's side. Similarly to how he would always to return to Lumine's, but not quite the same.

Because while Lumine is his sister, who he would traverse the stars for without her asking, Diluc is not someone he would travel the cosmos for — for him, Aether would stay, & how terrifying a thought that is for someone who has never stayed in one place too long for billions of years.

( what does it say about them: the fact they love someone enough to stay & will leave them anyway? )

❝I can't.❞ Aether says at first, his voice soft & sad & ringing throughout the room like a church bell — he can't like it here, because he can't stay. He can't like it here, at Diluc's side, because he does not belong here. He can't like it here because the reality of living forever & the way Diluc's memory will someday fade ( no matter how they try to hold onto it for eternity ) & Aether will be left with the way he loved him.

Aether cannot like it here, at Diluc's side, because he isn't strong enough to handle the way his heart will break when he has to leave him.

❝You're important to me, but I can't like it here.❞ He whispers, as if he doesn't want the other to hear — he will ask questions & Aether, with all his strength, will never be able to answer them with anything else. Diluc will ask questions & Aether will break, will say everything he has kept to himself, & he isn't willing to do that. Not right now, perhaps not ever, because he cannot admit to loving him.

He isn't sure what answer would scare him more, if he were to ask Diluc if he felt the same: the rejection that comes with unreciprocated love or the idea of being loved in return. He isn't sure if he wants to find out.

❝I can't.❞ Aether repeats & it is almost helpless — he is saying I like it here but I will someday leave. He is saying I like it here, with you, but I have never known what it is to be loved before & I am scared to admit to it at all. He is saying I like it here, with you, but I can't stay & I know I will want to. I can't like it here because I can't break my own heart.

( i can't like it here because i would stay if you asked. )

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // accepting. @sombracat // "" . . . "" she doesn't know what to say , so she will just continuously stare at aether .

AETHER STARES BACK, a hand raised to his chin, as if trying to figure out what would be best to say to Lynette after drawing a blank on it. It takes several more minutes of this ( unblinking eyes meeting hers ) before he finally opens his mouth to speak. ❝Hi...?❞

[decoysouled]

& ONE DAY, perhaps Aether will stop finding things he has in common with Diluc & it will no longer feel as if they were cut branches from the same tree, or fallen leaves searching for one another in the autumn only to shrivel up & fade into nothingness come the gentle touch of winter's first frost. Maybe one day, he will not look at Diluc & feel as if he looks in the mirror, as if their souls are worn in the same ways, for how could they be?

( they are similarly torn at the seams, Aether knows, but not in the same way. but sometimes, it feels as if he understands them. sometimes, they wish they could drown in that feeling; in being known. )

❝I'm not sure I'd have the courage to do that.❞ Aether confesses, voice like a sprinkling of stardust on the ground ( light, airy, but oh so full of grief for a future that may never come ) & he turns his gaze away, not daring to look him in the eye, as if he fears that such an idea may come into fruition if he lets his eyes linger for longer than could be found reasonable.

❝If... I left this world, I think I wouldn't want to come back. Not because I wouldn't want to see you.❞ He bites at the inside of his cheek slightly in an attempt to concentrate on conveying his thoughts, yet he comes up emptyhanded. & thus, Aether looks back at him, an immeasurable longing in his gaze for a future that could never be his own — the one where he stays, the one where Diluc is at his side, the one where everything is alright & nothing can hurt him & he is safe & he sits next to someone he loves in front of a fireplace, watching the snowflakes fall outside the window.

That life, the one he visits only in his fondest dreams, could never belong to a creature like him, for the other would grow old & Aether, decidedly, never would. & nor would he die. How funny, he thinks & it is like swallowing a lemon, that the one thing I truly want for myself could never be mine. How cruel the universe is to take it away from me before I knew I wanted it at all.

❝I'm not used to having a home either.❞ & he wonders, really, if Diluc already knows that about Aether, for how could he not? He has never allowed himself to remain in one place, even during his time within Teyvat, & it is the same for his travels amongst the abundance of stars in the sky: there is no place, no home, for a being that will outlive the universe, that will watch the last of the stars flicker out. ❝I wish I could take you with me when that day comes.❞

( but you wouldn't come with me. i know better than to ask that of you. )

he's used to people leaving him — his mother, his father, kaeya, old friends, the list grows. it's a sad fact, but it's true nevertheless. he knows that things are just too good to be true, whether the fault lies in himself or in another factor.

deep inside, he knows he can't tie aether down, he knows the traveler goes wherever his heart takes him, and diluc is perfectly fine with that. does he wish that were the case? no, definitely not.

he shakes the thoughts. he hides the heart on his sleeve and he merely gives aether a soft smile.

"i'm glad to know that you're able to offer me a home in yourself. it's not something i'm used to." he admits. he knows they'll drift, so he starts preparing himself now, for that inevitable loss.

"however, if you do leave and ever choose to return, i'll always welcome you with open arms." he promises. even if he accepts fate, there's still that hope in him.