#009. ❝vessels: the order.❞ — headcanons

[decoysouled]

Neuvillette is the type to gift water to Furina and Wriothesley. Since it's canon Wriothesley buys him and Furina tea, I imagine that sometimes he'll get them both nice water (and say which tea blends it matches) from other nations and such for them. Since he loves his water.

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // always accepting. anonymous // Arakan, what were your thoughts when your mother died? Where were you, how did you feel? What was your grieving process like? (dsc. modern)

THE DAY THEIR MOTHER HAD DIED, it was as if the sun had gone out — Makoto, to Arakan, had always been so full of life & even though her care had never been extended to her children, it was hard to see her as anything other than bright & alive & loved by those around her. Even they had cared deeply for her, despite how little of their childhood she had been around for, & that enough had left them with a deep agony in their chest.

( their brother had always been more of a parent than her. )

The day their mother had died, it was like closing a book for the last time; one that they would never read the ending to. It was like watching the pages fall into puddles, slowly becoming unreadable, the ink blurring alongside their tears — it was that day which set in motion their current life, one of isolation & the desperate need to convince themself that they do not need people in their life. That they do not need to be cared for & wanted & loved.

( no matter how they craved those things, they were never Arakan's to start with. )

The day their mother had died, it was like being set adrift on a raft in the seas, forced to weather the most violent of storms alone. By the time they had realised just how much they were drowning in their grief, in things they could never have, desires that would never come true, Arakan was already alone — Ren no longer spoke to them, albeit they did not reach out either, & Kaminari had left them behind & gotten into trouble & they hated it, how long it took them to realise that no one could be trusted to stay.

( it was funny, really, how of a family of four, three people had left. Kaminari, their mother, their father... had all abandoned them & they did not know why. did not understand the reasons. only that they were alone & alone they would stay. )

The day their brother had left, it was like waking up from a long dream, one they had not been aware they were trapped within. It was a slow awakening, the type that left one with exhaustion set deep within their bones & a sadness aching within their heart & everything had been hit with hurt all at once. A wall they could not climb over, a pain they could drown in. It had been the deepest grief they had ever felt, the realisation that no one wished to stay.

Even this tied back to the day their mother died, like some cosmic joke. Like some cruel trick.

❝I wished I had known her better.❞ Arakan speaks, voice quiet, in lieu of voicing any of their previous thoughts — there was no need, in the end, to speak of the ways their heart had been shattered like a glass dropped on hardwood floors. There was no need, in the end, to allow themself the vulnerability to answer such a question when there was no true care given. It is simply another struggle, another thing to think about that they wish they didn't have to.

Simply another pouring of salt in old wounds that had never quite healed right.

❝I let myself drift away from the world for a long time, but I don't remember much of it. I went through the motions, I lived my life on autopilot until the day Kaminari decided to leave, too.❞ As if they had never mattered at all. As if they had never been loved at all. As if they had never been wanted at all. They had never held him at fault for that, neither his reaction to the death of their mother nor the way he had abandoned Arakan in his own grief.

They had been used to it by then.

❝When I found out, my only thought was... I wondered whether she had loved us, when she died. Whether she had thought about me or Kaminari in her last moments, or if we never mattered to her at all.❞ It had been a selfish set of thoughts, one they had never dared to verbalise. ❝Mostly... I wish people would let me leave her in the past. I've done my mourning & I'm tired of it.❞

They wish everyone would let her memory rest, if only so Arakan could finally begin to let go & forget about everything she had ever done. It wouldn't happen, not with the way that funeral director acted or the way Kaminari asked them to visit her grave with him & Arakan had never found it in themself to say no. After all, he had been there for them for the longest time & it was only right to return such a favour.

( i just want to forget her. i want to forget everything that hurts me. )

[decoysouled]

A list of assorted headcanons from DM discussions. I forgot to post them, so alas, here's this post instead.

Yingxing enjoys desserts. When he's working long hours in the forge (whether he's lost track of time or not), he tends to eat a lot of sugary and high-carbohydrate foods (i.e rice) to keep his energy at a decent level for working.

While he may be arrogant / over-confident in his skills, Yingxing is someone who feels the need to assert to others that he is important to them (i.e joking that he's someone's favourite person or "i know i'm important to you but [words]") as he doesn't feel secure in his friendships at times. This is something he doesn't relay to his friends, not wanting to burden others with his problems.

Yingxing is a jealous person at times, but he does his best to suppress that feeling. He is rather restrained emotionally, only letting his guard down around specific people when he's alone with them. He often sees no reason to dwell on his feelings, thus placing them aside so he can focus on what needs his attention.

While Yingxing would never admit it to the HCQ, most of the gifts he made for his friends were not out of the goodness of his heart. Rather, while they may have been a sign of affection, it was also so they had something to remember him by when he died.

Yingxing's crafts may have focused on metalwork & making weapons, but he was also good at glassblowing, jewellery making & sculpting. The latter three were rarely skills he would indulge in outside of making gifts for his loved ones.

Yingxing's body temperature is typically on the colder side, which is why he loves working in a forge. In the winter, one could find it nigh impossible to drag him away from his work.

Yingxing loves the rain. While he doesn't mind sunny weather, he much prefers the darkness of the sky during rainfall and the feeling of it on his skin. Unfortunately, he tends to find himself getting rather sick after being out in the rain, so he rarely indulges his desire to be.

[decoysouled]

what are you seeking?

HOME.

"i wish i could say i am a light that never goes out, but i flicker from time to time."

oh, little one, you have burned for so quietly for so long, haven't you? burnt yourself out trying to give others light? wishing, desperately, that they would notice the way your hands shake or the wildflower bruises under your tired eyes. but they never have, have they? and so, it obviously wasn't bad? right? you had more to give, didn't you?

how much could you pour yourself out before they noticed?

it is all you've ever known, after all. help, help, help, help. (are you providing it, or begging for it?) but you've given too much, spread yourself too thin, didn't you? you are so heavy, so tired. you have spent your life carrying for others the way you wished someone would care for you. but you're worried, aren't you? that if you can't be what they need, if you can't be the pillar for others to lean on, they'll leave you.

what you seek is home, a safe place to rest and be taken care of. and little light, you deserve it. you have earned it. you are worth more than what you can provide for others: you deserve the same care you so freely give out. they will love you all the same, honey. set down the world, and rest that weary heart of yours.

tagged by: @ruinlost tagging: anyone who wants to do it <3

[decoysouled]

Wriothesley definitely drinks more tea than he reasonably should. The recommended tea intake is four cups at most daily. He's drinking three cups just to soothe his throat. Due to his over-consumption of tea, he is prone to getting dull headaches and struggles to fall asleep.

[decoysouled]

so here's how i'll be. writing Aether's feelings concerning Lyney and Childe after the current AQ & Lyney story quest.

Aether's distrust of Lyney and Lynette upon finding out they're both members of the fatui is more because he doesn't know who they work under / the actual motivations of Arlecchino.

They do have some distrust in the two, although it's more out of the fact they withheld this information until they were forced to tell him about it / someone else said it. He doesn't necessarily feel like it was a betrayal, but he does wonder if the two are actually trustworthy or not when it was kept a secret while he was trying to prevent both of them from ending up with a guilty verdict.

He's upset with them for not being up front about it when it was important for him to know while he was being their lawyer / as a friend, but he doesn't necessarily hold it against them, either. While he will admit to being a little frosty with the two, it's more out of an attempt to keep distance while he processes his feelings surrounding their involvement with the fatui. He firmly acknowledges that it wasn't their choice to be involved with the group / that they went where was safe, nor does he blame them for that.

tldr: Aether is more upset with Lyney and Lynette for lying to him than because they're members of the fatui. His distrust has to do with not knowing the motivation of who they work under, not that they're part of the fatui.

Following his story stuff / the investigation into the Phantom Weasel, Aether has no doubts that Lyney is a good person regardless of circumstance and is trying his best to rebuild the trust he originally held in Lyney. This is because he's begun to realise he was unfairly grouping him into a box with those in the fatui who join willingly / aren't the best of people and also because Aether is now more aware of Lyney's motivations than he was previously.

Originally, he was concerned that Lyney's alleged motivations of trying to make sure the people of Fontaine were alright (via giving the magic pockets and such) was likely a cover up for something else. However, he now holds no doubt that Lyney can be taken at face value for the most part. While he knows he may not be getting the full story from him, Aether is aware that he's still getting the honest version of events when spoken to, albeit he does acknowledge there may be missing details for various reasons.

While he does have a wariness of Childe, Aether holds onto his vision because he values the trust that is being put in him by someone he has shown distrust to previously. He's taking it as an olive branch / a show of trust that Childe has in him and thus, he is trying to return that trust by believing Childe is being truthful about only wanting a fight rather than that he's causing another nation trouble.

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // accepting. @theoneandonii // If all your genshin muses went to see the Barbie movie, which ones would dress up for it?

The only one of my genshin muses who would willingly dress up for it would be Kaveh, although more to show off how fashionable he is than because of the movie itself. He has a huge interest in fashion & aesthetics, so it's no surprise that he'd take any chance to show it.

Aether could be tricked into it pretty easily, but he's not generally the type to get all dressed up for things, even if he might seem to go along with a lot. He doesn't enjoy the stress of trying to figure out what to wear, thus he avoids planning outfits altogether.

As for Arakan & Ayato, neither of them would. Arakan wouldn't because they likely wouldn't go see the film willingly, it's not their type of thing, but they'd go if they got dragged along by a friend. As for Ayato, he has a reputation to upkeep, so while he might go watch the film, he wouldn't dress up in order to keep the composed air he tends to curate publicly.

[decoysouled]

what are you seeking?

PEACE.

"i survived because the fire in me burned brighter than the fire around me."

oh, little soldier, how long have you been at war with yourself? how much of yourself have you lost to the fire that's made its home in your heart? oh, but who can blame you? for as long as you can remember, you've had to face the world alone. all bared teeth and bloody knuckles. you learned young the only person you could rely on was yourself, didn't you? learned that the others would leave you to the wolves?

and so you learned how to fight, how to stand tall even if you stood alone, how to shed the softness that wounded you before. but that isn't very sustainable, is it? the embers you swallowed, the fire you cloaked yourself in, it doesn't just burn the world around you. you have watched piece after piece of you go up in smoke: your hope, your smile, your mercy. what you seek is an end to the seemingly endless burning.

and, little phoenix, you deserve it. please, breathe out. lean on me. the world isn't as cruel as you've made it out to be: it is okay to stop fighting. it is okay to let go of that anger. there is so much more to you, so much more that you have. the serenity you seek can be granted, but only once you are willing to work on letting go of the hate you've harboured for so long now.

[decoysouled]

TAG DUMP // MUSE TAGS.