#100/10 acting

[warpedpuppeteer]

Okay but the fact that Eddie and Bobby simply show up and don't say anything except to help with the unspoken "I've got you, let's do this together, you and I. You're not alone, I've got you".

"Buck Begins" | "Rock the Boat" 9-1-1 (2018 - )

[sattelite-of-love]

HARLEY QUINN in Batman: Caped Crusader

[to-be-a-dreamer]

No, because I've already talked about this to the Discord besties but I'm still vibrating over the fact that Percy didn't just sacrifice himself for Annabeth, he outsmarted her. He tricked her into letting him be the one to stay behind that's such an amazing detail

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[karioke13]

The Wicked Movie changed me in ways I didn’t knew I needed changed… 😭😭😭😭

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[duahauuoplanh]

Sarang's Halmoni power over Guwon: on going saga (III)

[inigostears]

jelloapocalypse’s tellius playthroughs are truly an unparalleled experience and i literally cannot recommend them enough.

[miciiq]

Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

[welowyrm]

HI I DON'T WRITE MY OWN POSTS BUT I AM HERE 2 SHILL U VNs

Play seekL, learn SQL and vc with cute hacker boi

Play Blooming Panic, get shilled into FFXIV??? and find the blossoming fan server love of your fantasies

Found them 2 days ago, got the seekLove end in seekL, blazed immediately thru the other two endings at the speed of light, had the BEST TIME, finished in. Too fast. Now I know there's a programming language based on Arnold Schwarzenegger. The characters are written realistically and I maintain that Incri lurks on 2 many subreddits.

Then meandered to Blooming Panic and hung out in Fake Discord. I love all the routes. The shenanigans are super funny. There's memes. There's onion. (Just one.) There's grandpa! Hung out with Office Dad on my lunch break!

And not only are both games VAed they're FREE.

Anyways I'm shilling go play them (and while you're at it go play hit video game Final Fantasy XIV now up to level 70 FOR FREE and hit expansion Stormblood!!)

[lemon-3ds]

Let's finally settle this.....

[jinxedshapeshifter]

I keep forgetting Iris has a medical degree tbh

[blimp-of-evil]

CLOSING NIGHT HAPPENED AND WE PISSED SO HARD FOLKS!!! WE ATEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[hirazuki]

Sometimes, going down a rabbit hole for research leads to finding gems, such as Tolkien's opinion on (specifically) Siamese cats:

I fear that to me Siamese cats belong to the fauna of Mordor. (Letter 219)

As someone who lives with a siamese cat, I can absolutely confirm, but I am delighted that we actually have an official statement on this very important matter.

[ziracona]

I love that every wiki is like ‘You get to the red line and it’s revealed Pavel is a high ranking officer’ and I’m like I knew that. I mean I didn’t know he was a major specifically, but he definitely told me he was an officer when we were on the surface.

Which begs the question: did he forget he was pretending to be a grunt and let it slip, because he got so comfortable around Artyom.

Or

My personal and much more funny theory. Did he just realize it would mean absolutely like nothing 0% difference in suspicion and perception of him from Artyom if he knew he was an officer.

[seventh-district]

.