#100/10 acting

[warpedpuppeteer]

Okay but the fact that Eddie and Bobby simply show up and don't say anything except to help with the unspoken "I've got you, let's do this together, you and I. You're not alone, I've got you".

"Buck Begins" | "Rock the Boat" 9-1-1 (2018 - )

[sattelite-of-love]

HARLEY QUINN in Batman: Caped Crusader

[to-be-a-dreamer]

No, because I've already talked about this to the Discord besties but I'm still vibrating over the fact that Percy didn't just sacrifice himself for Annabeth, he outsmarted her. He tricked her into letting him be the one to stay behind that's such an amazing detail

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[duahauuoplanh]

Sarang's Halmoni power over Guwon: on going saga (III)

[karioke13]

The Wicked Movie changed me in ways I didn’t knew I needed changed… 😭😭😭😭

[inigostears]

jelloapocalypse’s tellius playthroughs are truly an unparalleled experience and i literally cannot recommend them enough.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[miciiq]

Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

[welowyrm]

HI I DON'T WRITE MY OWN POSTS BUT I AM HERE 2 SHILL U VNs

Play seekL, learn SQL and vc with cute hacker boi

Play Blooming Panic, get shilled into FFXIV??? and find the blossoming fan server love of your fantasies

Found them 2 days ago, got the seekLove end in seekL, blazed immediately thru the other two endings at the speed of light, had the BEST TIME, finished in. Too fast. Now I know there's a programming language based on Arnold Schwarzenegger. The characters are written realistically and I maintain that Incri lurks on 2 many subreddits.

Then meandered to Blooming Panic and hung out in Fake Discord. I love all the routes. The shenanigans are super funny. There's memes. There's onion. (Just one.) There's grandpa! Hung out with Office Dad on my lunch break!

And not only are both games VAed they're FREE.

Anyways I'm shilling go play them (and while you're at it go play hit video game Final Fantasy XIV now up to level 70 FOR FREE and hit expansion Stormblood!!)

[lemon-3ds]

Let's finally settle this.....

[hirazuki]

Sometimes, going down a rabbit hole for research leads to finding gems, such as Tolkien's opinion on (specifically) Siamese cats:

I fear that to me Siamese cats belong to the fauna of Mordor. (Letter 219)

As someone who lives with a siamese cat, I can absolutely confirm, but I am delighted that we actually have an official statement on this very important matter.

[ziracona]

I love that every wiki is like ‘You get to the red line and it’s revealed Pavel is a high ranking officer’ and I’m like I knew that. I mean I didn’t know he was a major specifically, but he definitely told me he was an officer when we were on the surface.

Which begs the question: did he forget he was pretending to be a grunt and let it slip, because he got so comfortable around Artyom.

Or

My personal and much more funny theory. Did he just realize it would mean absolutely like nothing 0% difference in suspicion and perception of him from Artyom if he knew he was an officer.

[mad-hunts]

barton being awkward at first or even completely throughout a whole interaction whenever he's trying to comfort people is so in character for him TBH and let me tell y'all why because i think it's important to his character:

he can fake a lot of things. barton can fake being nice to people, he can fake being innocent, and he can even fake having a much stronger sense of morality around people if he wants to — but whenever it comes to empathizing with someone on an emotional level... barton finds himself often struggling with faking it because of the nature of it. and this is due to it being different than whenever he's trying to feign something easily comprehensible like innocence. but empathy is something that's usually viewed as innate in us as humans and has to do with love, which doesn't depend on logic. it's something that comes from within, so it doesn't have clear parameters as to how you should do it, so whenever barton tries to fake it in the event that he's trying to make someone feel better; he'll stumble. and so although barton can cognitively empathize with someone, his efforts to actually put himself in other people's shoes fall flat, as he just can't physically imagine himself being in someone else's position probably more than half the time.

so if your muse were to ever come to him seeming upset, barton would likely not know what to do / how to comfort them, at least for a bit before referencing back on how he's seen other people do it. because i hate to say it (i don't, in reality, but y'all know what i mean LOL) but barton does actively mimic behaviors that he sees people do whenever he feels the absence of a certain emotion. he especially does this whenever he's trying to appear charming to other people, but like i said, he'll also try to use what he's seen his peers do as a guide as for what he should do in regards to empathy. and sometimes he may even seem a bit flustered before he's able to do this because he knows that it is expected of him to be able to empathize with people and can identify it in other people BUT knowing how to approach faking it has always been sort of hard for him even as an adult.

but yeahhh, that's just my own two cents about how barton sometimes break character that he is quote unquote ' normal, ' though he does try to mask this around people who aren't really familiar with him as simply being social awkwardness. however, it is part of a larger thing with him as despite the fact that he can blend in with the population REALLY well and also is pretty good at manipulating others, i suppose you could say that barton is still not an expert at ' constructing empathy ' because whenever someone is visibly hurt in front of him... he is more liable to act like he isn't sure what to do, than to put on an act immediately since he is likely to feel nothing first before anything else. and i realize that that is a rather unsettling thought, but i think that he is a lot more suspectible to doing this with people he doesn't know well / who he isn't particularly close to, as he's got a lot more practice with being falsely empathetic towards friends and/or sometimes even family members.

[blimp-of-evil]

CLOSING NIGHT HAPPENED AND WE PISSED SO HARD FOLKS!!! WE ATEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[sso-montana]

I do think if Montana and Justin ever got married they just went to the courthouse on a random wednesday, borrowed Derek for however long it took because they needed a witness and never really told anyone except, like, Thomas and if she's still around Mrs. Holdsworth (she's a witch. I feel like she could be 200 in game right now because of that)

The only reason people found out was because Derek mentioned it to Anne who then immediately called the others and everyone freaked out because "why the fuck did you not tell anyone??"

Either that or Justin referred to Montana as his wife and Alex who was at the stables hanging out/visiting Maya overheard it and went "wait what since when?!"