#100% not intended to be offensive i am also A Thing

[aisforinterval]

trans men coming out be like

[micahulrichdraws]

I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.

Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.

You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:

Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.

So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.

Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:

PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

Upcoming Rule Changes

I have come to a decision and I fear some people may dislike it, especially given some of the messages I've received on the topic. However, I do think this is the best option for me moving forward. I already have many anxieties and stresses in regards to this blog and so I must do what I can to alleviate them as much as possible.

Recently, there have been several instances of people accidentally not check-marking to make their submission anonymous when they intended to. This has resulted in me receiving messages from stressed out people asking me to remove their submission. This in turn, causes me stress and anxiety because I don't want to cause people distress.

Because of that, I have begun to rethink my policy of allowing submissions that aren't anonymous.

The thing is, this blog was made as a safe space for people to anonymously voice their monster-related thoughts. The name of this blog is "Monsterfucker Confessions," after all. It was intended as a place for people to confess things that they didn't want to post on their own blogs.

Therefore, I think it makes much more sense for this blog to be purely anonymous.

If there is something you actually want your name associated with, it would be better to post to your own blog rather than submit here. This is a space for those that don't want their names associated with what they say.

Several people have sent messages on this topic saying that people may want their names associated with their submissions so that they get credit for writing it or so that it drives traffic to their blog. This sat wrong with me because it feels completely against the reasons I made this blog to begin with.

While I do allow for short stories and the like within submissions, this ultimately is a confessions blog, not a creative writing blog. I shall continue to allow creative works to be submitted because I know there are many creative people that wish to remain anonymous. This blog is for them, not for the people who will comfortably attach their names to their writing. If you want credit for your writing, it would be better post to your own blog.

Some have suggested that those that wish their names associated with their submission can sign the submission, tagging their username. I have several issues with this. Of course, what I said above about the intent of this blog applies, but also I could easily see someone writing something controversial and then signing it as someone they dislike to cause that person to receive harassment. If the submission is anonymous, I would have no way of knowing if they are who they claim to be. I have too much anxiety to allow for that possibility.

So what will be changing?

Any submissions that are NOT anonymous will be resubmitted by me to be made anonymous.

Any submissions that are signed will be deleted.

I know this isn't the result a lot of people wanted, but I hope I've explained my reasoning well enough for you to understand why I feel this is the best choice for myself and this blog.

I know some people want credit for their writing, and I 100% understand that, but this isn't the place for those people. This blog is for the people that don't feel comfortable attaching their names to their words. That is what this blog was originally made for and I think I need to take these steps to return to that.

I thank you all for you kindness and patience as I continue to learn and improve how I run this blog. I know this blog isn't exactly what everyone wants, and I am sorry that I can't accommodate everyone.

I have said before and I shall say again, if someone else wants to run a confessions blog that works the way they want, that would be perfectly fine! I wouldn't take offense at someone making their own version of this. After all, I got the idea for a confessions blog from other blogs. I hardly own the concept.

These rules have been added to the pinned post.

[arecaceae175]

Serious question ( and I hope it’s not offensive, I certainly don’t intend to be offensive…)

As a person with a native language that doesn’t offer many gender neutral terms or pronouns ( German) would it be okay to just use the first name/pseudonym instead?

For example:

Mel likes flowers, Mel likes roses more than other flowers.

What other options would you prefer?

( again, I don’t intend to be offensive, I just want to know what people that have pronouns that won’t work in my native language would be comfortable with me using instead. And I realize that may be different from person to person.)

Hi. I only fluently speak one language so I am not the expert on this topic. I have done some research and I will include other sources to back up what I’m saying here. If anyone who speaks multiple languages wants to chime in on this I would greatly appreciate your input!

So, first of all, there is no good excuse to not use someone pronouns. If someone exclusively uses my name solely to avoid using my pronouns, I find that offensive. That tells me the person either does not believe or support me and my identity, or they are not willing to put in the small effort to learn a new set of pronouns. It can be as simple as googling pronoun usage if you’re unsure about them.

If you’re speaking or typing in English, you should be using someone’s pronouns.

Now, I don’t want to diminish the difficulty of speaking in a language that is not your first. I understand that it is very difficult and it is especially difficult to use neopronouns in another language if you have not been exposed to them before. But you should still try. The easiest way to be an ally to the queer community is to use the language we use for ourselves.

I don’t know how my specific set of pronouns would translate to German because I don’t speak German. Since German and English use the same alphabet, I would recommend just taking the English pronoun and using it in the place where you would use a German pronoun.

There are neopronouns and gender neutral pronouns in German. Again, I do not speak German so I am not claiming to know more than you or to be an expert in this. But I did some searching online and I found multiple sources talking about alternate pronouns in German. I can’t read German, so I am not 100% sure what they say. Some of the websites have an English counterpart that explains neopronouns, so I assume the site is doing the same thing when I switch to German. I am sure there are more German sources for gender neutral pronouns if you look at German queer sources.

Here are some sources you can read to become more familiar with neopronouns in German:

Non-binary pronouns

Pronouns page

Exploring Genderqueer Identity Within Gendered German

It is always best to ask someone directly if you have questions about their pronouns. Some people might be okay with you using their name instead, but I am not. Also, some people prefer no pronouns, so in that case you would use their name like that.

Here is a guide to neopronouns I made to help you learn about them and learn how to practice them.

As long as you’re genuinely trying, I will not be offended if you mess up my pronouns. I know mine can take some time to learn if you have never seen neopronouns before.

But I deserve your effort, and so other queer people.

[heich0e]

wait if you said that you're gonna stop the oopsy baby series 'for now' are you implying that you're gonna continue it at some point in the future or....? 🤨

I've gotten way more asks about this than I expected, and I won't reply to them all to spare your dash (since they mainly address the same things) but in the interest of transparency here are the highlights:

1. Are you going to continue the mini megumi series? /post any other parenthood fics?

I honestly don't know. I was going to add more to this reply but I've just been staring at the screen for like 10 minutes.

2. Why?

A couple of reasons, but if I'm being really honest I saw a lot of mutuals (who I sincerely like and respect, present tense) posting about how much they dislike parenthood/pregnancy fics and how sick they make them feel and it just didn't feel good.

I want to be really really clear that I TRULY and wholeheartedly believe that everyone is entitled to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike. But the problem is that when you express those opinions while disparaging the people whose opinion are different from yours, or if you choose to be vocal about your dislike of something when you see someone enjoying it, it can be really hurtful. It made me feel uncomfortable about continuing the series if I knew people felt that way and I was possibly upsetting them.

3. Is it because of the "exclusionary" ask?

No! This all happened before I received (or at least saw) that ask. And while I do completely and totally understand where that anon was coming from, and I support them 100% in sharing that very valid criticism with me, the fic probably wouldn't have changed because of it—though I would have started putting a tag in the updates alerting readers to the fact that Kota is described at multiple points throughout the story as being identical to Megumi in case it was sensitizing/alienating/in any way offensive to them.

The inspiration for the fic was that a child who is virtually identical to him shows up at his doorstep, and the entire series is predicated on that idea. I should have made that much clearer at the outset and I really apologize for my oversight and to anyone who I hurt by being careless in that way. I have since gone back and edited each instalment to feature a warning about this in the header, and hope that people who will feel excluded by this plot point can make whatever decision feels best for them in regards to engaging with the fic!

4. I don't like you.

Me neither.

5. I love parenthood fics and I think you should keep writing them.

I also like parenthood fics, and I think they're fun to write! And this is coming from someone who isn't even sure they ever want to have kids themselves. But sort of nodding back to point 2, I don't want to post any kind of fic that people who i consider friends begin vocally posting about disliking. Especially because I really don't follow that many people, so when every third post on my dash is dunking on the trope I'm actively posting about, it just makes me feel kind of sad and unwelcome.

This is absolutely NOT intended to be an indirect/vague about those moots, and if you're reading this I hope you know that I mean that from the BOTTOM of my heart. They are JUST as entitled to this space as I am, and I am in no way at all trying to impose myself and my opinions onto them. I just don't know how to filter anti-trope content from my user experience without inadvertently also filtering the content I DO want to see, and if I'm being honest I just don't think it's not worth losing mutuals who I really like over.

I'm saying all of this with nothing but love, and I hope that no one is too upset about it. I'm sorry if you were enjoying the series and now aren't sure about its future. I'm sorry if me expressing the way I was hurt makes you feel bad too. I'm really logging off now for a bit, and I hope you all take care of yourselves!! Be good, sending love, talk soon <3

[emblazons]

I feel the same, no offense to theorizers ofc because people are free to theorize and have headcanons. But also it is important to consider what the writers are intending here and recognizing their story bits. I feel like people just kinda go... too over the board with some of their theories/headcanons here and I'm like... it is fine and all to think about those things but are those things really fitting for what the writers are likely intending? I also am not that fan of people saying the Duffers are lying about things, first of all, yeah ofc they're not gonna just gonna openly talk about everything, but the majority of the time what they're saying are not lies, lol. So it's just kinda weird to see people claiming the Duffers are intentionally lying or just outright lying about what they say regarding certain plots and the story choices they made... that just does not make much sense to me. While doing promo and before that ofc the writers are just gonna be vague about certain things, that does not mean they're intentionally lying about the majority of the stuff they say in regards to the story they're telling.

Agreed! Honestly, don't have a single bit of issue with people theorizing and writing out their thoughts for how the story should go to their hearts content, especially knowing I do the same in my own way. It's fun, it keeps you invested, and ST has done a phenomenal job at giving their audience just enough detail to ask questions, while still leaving a ton of room for fan theorizing & artistic expression.

As for people going overboard with thinking their headcanons are what must happen in the show...it was actually my experience with listening to theorists right before Vol II taught me to manage my expectations in a healthy way rather than hold tightly to what I thought should happen (lmao). It was July when I realized that not a single person in this fandom is working with as much information as they'd need to precisely guess what goes on in Matt & Ross' minds...which was confirmed for me when only one theorist of the literal hundreds I read pre Vol II had even 50% of what went down written out correctly when it came to what "The Piggyback" ended up meaning in the actual show.

Tbh, its just that I realized its literally impossible for any one person to know every detail of what will happen—and even if they did get it 100%, it still would have only been an (admittedly educated) guess. That's not to knock theorizing at all; I love it lmao. I just think it becomes less about the show and more about you being right when you think The Duffers are lying to you when your specific hopes aren't what happens, or even saying that Stranger Things suddenly "fell off" because its not done the way you would have written it. It just seems odd to assume that every bit of the story down to the exact details needs to be what you theorize or perceive is "right"—something we knock other sections of the fandom for doing all the time, but that we somehow avoid in ourselves because we (rightfully) managed to catch the queer coding + narrative setup of Byler.

All that to say: in listening to The Duffers, I've never felt "lied to" any differently than I have Noah or Finn saying they "don't know" anything—even if they do know every detail, they wouldn't be able to say that anyway LMAO. The Duffers are sorting through their wants for the story the same way any author does, and what they enjoy might not align with how I would tell the story if it was mine—which is why I've decided to look for the core themes, narratives and arcs for general direction points rather than specifics, personally.

I like learning what inspired The Duffers, what their taste in movies and other art are, and how they've structured their previous plots for hints as to what I might expect to see come S5...but I'm not holding any of my own theories, never-mind anyone else's, with an iron fist. Matt & Ross + the 2000 other people working on ST got me this far enjoying the ride, so I'm gonna do something radical and just. Trust them to get me to the finish line. If its disappointing after its all ended, we'll talk about it...but for now I'm okay lmao.

Thanks for the ask!

[sepulchral-pulchritude]

Just to know, will you be reblogging more “AI” image generator outputs?

unlikely/not purposefully!

i am against the current ai art generators because of the the way that they hurt artists. i also consider them in bad taste, in the same way that tracing someone's art who has requested that that not be done is in bad taste (since as of rn, the ai art generators do not only use freely available, opted-in pieces of art/images). and utterly despicable when it comes to stealing people's real life faces and bodies without permission. but more than anything i do not like what they produce, art-wise, as it pertains to the inherent racism/ableism/transphobia/sexism/fatphobia/etc baked into the algorithms. i don't like that if you put "pretty girl" into the algorithm, it spits back a skinny blonde conventional white woman. i believe i have reblogged a tiktok of a tiktokker ai-generating the image of "autistic person" and it is over 100 images of young white men. you see my issue.

i don't find ai art as offensive when used for something that is essentially photoshop, and i actually quite liked some of the early ai art generation where the ai struggled to make images without uncanny-valley-ifying them (see: fisher price-ifying non-child things, such as (iirc) a bomb-making kit)

afaik the only ai image i have reblogged is Gay Cats (the original accidentally, and the artist-edited version on purpose) and i really liked the version that was painted/edited by the artist on that reblog. i don't agree with their opinions on ai art necessarily, although their argument that it is parallel to duchamp's fountain is, to me, not without merit. imo to argue that the fountain and the gaysexcats ai image have nothing in common is silly and ahistorical to the reception it received. the two pieces have some things in common, but not all things, and i was not convinced to the conclusions that the op of the post posited. one of the biggest points of divergence imo is that duchamp's fountain was intended as a strong statement on the nature of art, and intended to start a heated conversation, whereas gaysexcats became those things without intent.

i do think it is very funny that to have this conversation, people are referring Very Seriously to The Gay Sex Cats Image. in the same way it is very funny that there is an autographed urinal in an art museum. it being funny and it being serious are both true, and in fact the serious-er that it becomes, the funnier it becomes!

[partangel]

What are your plans after college? Do you have very specific goals set out or will you let things flow? Also, do you think you’ll stay friends with the people you met there? Currently having a crisis because I’m coming to the end of my bachelor’s and I have no idea of what my future will look like x(

hello! i dont find i have it all figured out or anything likewise...right now im toying with the idea of continuing in education and getting a doctorate so teaching in an academic setting is an option. most teachers from my faculty are also in practice and in my area i find it heavily important to keep your practice in check and in accordance to the latest research in the field. so for me pursuing investigation & teaching and being a professional informed by research are goals that align with each other. i have had a very good academic feedback until now within the research faculty and i have some papers aligned i can see publishing in the near future... however itd be a lie to say i am 100% certain that this is something i want and will pursue. lets see how this year with the thesis and my internship goes! i still have another year after that of supervised practice so... one ought to be patient! i also want to do something related to ceramics in the near future which is something i love dearly and id be lying if i said i didnt think about dropping out from college just to pursue that alone! me and my partner have a business idea we are in the middle of scheming that is about facade rehabilitation in buildings that have been decorated with tiles (azulejo) so thats something we have also been working on together... besides i would love to self publish a childrens book in the near future and to ask some friends to illustrate. you know! lots of ideas and things going on.... its normal to feel scared but ultimately its about how and what you want to contribute to society and a bachelor is just a paper (no offense) and literally i understand that we all work hard for it but it does not have to be THE thing you do for the entirety of your life. it should and it does inform your choices but you know. just do what feels right to you i think is the most important thing and to not let your major be the most important thing in your mind. keep some space to invent and explore and discover. there are so many things in the world and its all so lovely and as long as it gives you a sense of accomplishment and of contributing to your community or society its worth it. about friendships in college for me its truly a hard no. i love my friends dearly but in college i did not invest much in those relationships so im not really close to anyone and do not intend to be. but that really depends on the quality of the friendships you have. if you want to keep them theyll most certainly be there. people that enter the job market do not have the time that students do and your friendship dynamics may change due to that but its doable and its life! everything is a cycle etc etc. dont be scared! its a new phase of life and its all about growth! itll be ok! follow your heart and trust in yourself always 🤍

[appljuiceboxx]

me crying about the malaysian government confiscating the pride collection from swatch because it has been PLAGUING ME

hi i'm not sure if you care but i'm really sad rn :( because recently some cops raided a bunch of swatch stores and took away their pride collection. and i am very disappointed.

it's not that serious but read if you want.

i am a malaysian. 100% malaysian. well maybe a pinch of singaporean because of my grandpa but i am a true malaysian. nasi lemak, lemang, rendang, that shit my jam.

but i'm also lgbtqia+. and not out yet. a muslim. yeah. so :(

malaysia is a very not-safe space for lgbt. see anwar ibrahim sodomy trials and lesbian couple gets caned after trying to fuck.

honestly when i first heard of the swatch thing on the radio i was like wtf???? why'd you confiscate a bunch of fucking watches???????? because they have colours of the rainbow??? yes, it's rainbow coloured. yes, they were intended as lgbt themed. but our "youth" won't be "influenced" by a bunch of fucking watches THAT ARE JUST RAINBOW COLOURED. they could literally just BUY THE WATCHES without ever knowing that they were lgbt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the rainbow isn't just the symbol of the queer community. i don't mean that as offensive (idk just in case). it is also SCIENCE. rainbows appear all the time after raining and stuff. and prisms. and little kids (well, me as a little kid) absolutely LOVED drawing and flowers and grass and a little sun in the corner with a RAINBOW OVER IT.

it is so fucking petty. the government's so fucking petty with this type of shit. what are they gonna do next? censor rainbow dash?????????? yeah. okay, queen. you can take away all the rainbows, but you can't take away our rights.

tldr: the malaysian government confiscated swatch's pride collection and i think it's fucking stupid. like our youth won't be influenced by a bunch of rainbow-coloured watches. >:(

[fleetsparrow]

There's something I don't like about this survey question, and I've finally figured out what it is.

The question says:

"Where are you currently in your writing career?"

With the following answers, of which you can only choose one:

Writing for fun—not interested in publishing

Intend to get published, but haven't yet

Published one or more short stories only

Traditionally published one or more books

Self-published one or more books

Mixed traditionally/self-published

All of these are perfectly valid areas to be at. That's not the problem.

I dislike how these options are being framed as part of a single "career path" that moves in only one direction: the ultimate goal being traditionally published books.

Easily, you could argue this is the most well-known path of a "writing career" (very old-school, "write every day" type mentality path). But it's not the only one.

Just to use myself as a personal example, I don't know how to accurately answer this question.

My facts:

I have not been published by a big press

I self-publish my own fanfic and original fic

I have had a story published in a kickstarted anthology press which created hard copies of the anthology

I have never completed a novel or novella

I have wanted in the past to have a traditional publishing path

I have written commissions for actual monies

I am currently writing for fun with no desire to traditionally publish at this time, even though this may change at some future point

The most accurate as in "up to the minute" answer is the first, that I am writing for fun.

But the way this question is worded suggests that I'm "just starting out". That I'm "new" to writing. I can almost guarantee the next suggested solutions will be "Writing 101" type lessons.

I also take offense at this answer option, "Published one or more short stories only", specifically because of their use of "only".

I see this a lot in writing spaces (the strongest of which is/was NaNo spaces).

The implication of the "only" is that short stories are not "real" stories. They're seen as "practice" for the "real" work of writing novels. They're seen as stepping stones on the path to becoming a Real Writer who writes Novels

Sure, you can dabble in short stories, as a treat. Maybe you can even create a collection of them once you're established. But when's your novel coming out? You know, when's your real writing coming out?

It's obviously not like there isn't a lot of crossover between short story writers and novelists. Most writers do both at times, to varying degrees.

But they're not the same thing.

Short stories aren't "novel practice" pieces. Writing a short story is a skill on its own, just like writing a novel is its own skill.

Personal example again:

When I was in high school, I wanted to write novels. I had a couple going at a time, including a large high fantasy epic. It seemed very easy, then. I almost exclusively read novels. I had a very rigid daily routine via school. I had much fewer external stresses in my life at the time.

By the end of college, my brain didn't work like a novel anymore.

During and immediately after college, however, I came to fanfic. I found the StoryADay writing community. I discovered flash fiction and micro fiction.

One of my biggest struggles in school was the mandatory 5 page essay. I could always make my point in about 2. But now... You're telling me people can tell entire stories in 100 words or less??? Sign me up!

I've never written anything novel-length since. Even the longest fanfic I've ever posted is only a little over 23,000 words, and that took me ages to put together. (For the record, it's also more like a flash novel or a series of vignettes, in that very few chapters continue the same inner story.)

So, for all that, where does that leave me on the survey?

I will, for the sake of argument, discount my AO3 works from counting as "self-published". That still leaves me having "published a short story" in someone else's book AND "writing for fun" with no intent on... I guess monetary? publishing.

Which, really, tells them nothing about my "writing career".

[kalihaze604]

snow day! ❄️

welfare Wednesday/Thursday morning middle of the night catch-up on life blog post:

Met up with a friend on Wednesday morning and went to a thrift store and then tried a coca leaf drink for the first time; a maple cocaccino. It was tasty and it made me feel energized and uplifted for a couple hours. I bought a new winter jacket, a pink blazer that looks like a short wrap trench coat that will look cute for spring/summer with light layers underneath, a pair of comfy pink fleece sweatpants, and a beautiful satin light lemon yellow tank top and a vintage longsleeve shirt with a gorgeous sparkly purple fabric that I intend to redesign and sew into something a little more modern. The fabric is absolutely stunning and the colour and silver sparkle woven through lights up my face beautifully. 

I only spent $100 total which is a fucking steal considering the jacket, blazer and tank top were all brand new Aritzia items and the pants and vintage top were both $7 each. Walking through the snow is definitely a good workout if you didn’t know, but you need to have the right shoes or you’re fucked. I wore a pair of hunter rain boots and they were feeling slippery and tight, not feeling like my feet were gripping the snow properly. Walking is the most underrated exercise - like seriously did you know how much weight I’ve lost by simply just increasing the number of steps I take per day? It’s like the slacker approach to fitness and weight loss. I want to start walking around my neighborhood more when I am not working during the daytime. I want to get out in the world and take in the sights and surroundings instead of being so in my head and glued to my phone and heating pad, laying in bed. I went for a walk in Chinatown after getting the cocaccino with my friend. I had walked in a circle down pender, up main, and back up keefer, and started feeling the most wicked gas in my stomach and intestines. I braced myself and walked home and asked my friend if this was a normal side effect of the coca leaf? She said yes, that it can get things moving. I had ran home because I had formerly had IBS accidents as a symptom of fibro and I knew how scary it was to feel like you’re about to lose control of your bowels in public. I’m also in a state of mild withdrawal as I’ve cut my opiate meds down 75% and 46% in the last month. I ran home as I farted loudly and sat on the toilet and realized it was just a false alarm, it was just some scary gas. I laughed at myself and went back outside and went to walk to a grocery store I mentioned in a previous post but found it was closed due to the snow. I walked back to a grocery shop that I noticed was open that I’d earlier walked by and grabbed a few things but then realized it was cash only and I didn’t have any cash on me. I went to grab cash at an atm, ordered some takeout, and returned and was pleasantly surprised to see that my grocery basket was only $20ish total. I walked back to grab takeout, which was not vegan, as I’m not fully vegan anymore, I would say I’m a flexatarian that just eats whatever my body feels like now. But anyways I walked into vegan supply to get coconut milk for a recipe I was planning on making with a bag of non vegan takeout food, likely smelling offensively like dead animal, and tried to get out of there as fast as possible and escape the manager’s confused facial expression and judgment. Kinda laughing at myself and how awkward that situation made me feel, but at the same time I feel that people have the right to change their diet as they grow and change and it might not always mean eating one way but a learning process. When I was fully vegan, most of the time I was definitely not getting enough nutrients and was eating a lot of “processed vegan junk food” and thinking that was somehow not equivalent to glorified corner store munchies. Because really? When I am eating a vegan copy of a twix bar, called a “no tricks” bar (I like to enjoy them on a night off work) it’s literally still eating a chocolate bar. It’s fooling myself to think that it’s somehow so much better for me because the ingredients might be slightly healthier. Like it’s still a chocolate bar babe not a protein bar?! It’s candy. Just cuz it’s vegan doesn’t make it not candy. 

I went home and ate, put away groceries and laid down to take a nap, as it was still snowing. My room felt cold and I grabbed another blanket and I started feeling sleepy. I napped all afternoon till 9pm and then realized I’d forgot to take my meds earlier and was sweating buckets and shivering from withdrawal. I ate some leftovers and took my meds and stared feeling normal again. I had such a good nap. It felt so nice to rest while it was snowing, knowing there was no point in attempting to go to work or go anywhere or do anything. I had planned to do some more cleaning and maybe some baking on Wednesday afternoon but that’s okay, I can do that today? I’m going to make some weird purple sweet potato brownies. I haven’t baked anything the whole time I’ve lived here. That’s gotta change. I have a mini convection oven that a client bought me when I first moved in. Shoutout to J, who was one of my first outdoor clients to pick me up, but is no longer a part of my life. I’m forever grateful that he bought me literally everything I needed to set up my kitchen here when I first moved in back when I was new to outdoor work. That was legit one of the most underrated but appreciated practical gifts a client had ever given me, knowing I had gone no contact with my parents at that point in time and didn’t have someone to help me with furnishing my place. That was sweet. However it was lovebombing and just a red flag of his Narc personality so he later became pretty problematic. But still legit so helpful because my place required a fancy induction hotplate that was much more expensive than the usual $15 army and navy single burner hotplate special I had become used to with SRO living. He got me an induction hotplate and a mini convection oven plus this huge ass box of dollar store kitchen utensils , there’s no way that I would have been able to buy all that for myself as a babyswer just starting out with no savings. Or I would have rather spent the money at lululemon lab back then and wouldn’t have been as responsible as I am now. I really want to start cooking more and using my kitchen more. Fibro, chronic fatigue and executive dysfunction made cooking and cleaning really hard for the last couple years and I really want to start changing my eating habits and start cooking more for myself and buying takeout and packaged/prepared/processed foods less. The relationship I left made me realize that I’ve been kinda addicted to sugar for awhile but it wasn’t as bad as my former partner who kind of scared me with how much sugar I would see him consume.

[wifiwuxians]

this is pome! thank you very much for recommending one of my fics!! <33 i'm so glad we have such a lovely, talented, funny (!!) artist in a niche like song lan and xue yang relationship, it definitely is inspo for more sl&xy! just want to echo and also say i'm glad you don't mind certain shippers interacting with you obviously i also subscribe to songxue shipping and was worried you'd have to see it through interaction with me, so happy you reached out and hope there's a lot more positive sl&xy in the future! ❤️ thanks again!

hiiii! of course you're genuinely one of my fav authors out there (i just don't read a lot of fic which is why i am not seen often orz) but THANK YOU SM humor is probably my strong suit so I'm very happy to be considered funny ejtlqntke and naturally the rest too 😳😳😳

i am taking this opportunity to say again that if you or anyone gets inspo from the sillies (or serious things!) i draw PLEASE make things you have my blessing 100% i would be honored to spawn more positivity between them and also in general

BUT ALSO this is a little surreal to me that more than one person feels this way because i always think i'm clear about my dislikes and boundaries 😭 and now i feel like i haven't been despite making mention a fair few times (thru my art too) that i enjoy onesided xy crushing on sl, for instance! and that songxue tags don't really bother me unless i explicitly say like "songxiao only!" or like, yknow, xy is depicted as a kid or they're intended as family etc (people should be able to tell though 👁️_👁️ but ill say it anyway)

in the past i was more averse to it but people change! maybe people are getting confused because my header mentions sxx and that's, well, because it includes my notp in 99% of cases. and again i have to make the disclaimer that No I'm Not Barring People From Entry i just don't wanna read about that particular ship or have my art tagged as it, which i don't think is a crime but has been brought into question before 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i will admit my leniency and the fact i toe the line and explore lots of different dynamics and scenarios between sl and xy has made ME worried that i'd lose favor with all the songxiao folk for instance or that i'd get called a hypocrite haha,, the one time i was asked about the ship i thought i was gonna be cancelled even for saying "i entertain the idea of onesidedness in some of my work" only to be told "ok well can you tag it as something bc it makes me uncomfortable" LMAOOO no offense to that person since i made them a whole tag but i almost feel they were better off unfollowing at that point because they're like all i draw now 😰

sorry for the tangent pome!!! and thank you so much for reaching out!!!! i guess i just wanna say that i feel bad if ive made people feel this way, ive struggled with imposing boundaries for myself but now feel better being open 💕 and i hope this conversation helps others!

[daryascurse]

Hey I just want to say, I'm so happy to see you back! I saw your post yesterday about works being discontinued and stuff today about TBSOS. Can I just ask what you are planning on continuing from now? And this isn't meant to make you feel like you owe us to continue working on anything or that I'll unfollow if there's something I was looking forward to, I'm just curious, if you're ok answering (:

hihi no offense taken!! that's a fair question and i'm really super grateful for the interest / that people are still around and want to read my things after completely disappearing! and i also realized after i wrote my "hello world i'm alive" that i phrased some of it super ominously. long story short, i have no intention of dropping fics entirely or erasing everything to restart. but i am kind of "starting clean" in the sense of what i'd promised coming down the pipe before the hiatus. looking at my masterlist, here's a rundown of fic statuses from works i previously left unfinished/ open; putting under a cut bc even as i start this i can tell it's going to be a long post:

Events: I'm not going to continue either my Tropetember or Kinktober series. a few reasons -- primarily that they were intended to be seasonal miniseries, and i DON'T meant to say that you can't write for kinktober if it's not October. but personally, it's very hard for me to break that internal rule of not having met my goals or plan, especially when i kept readjusting my original ideas over and over to be more realistic, and it just didn't work out. if you're curious i have more i could say on those, can even share the various lists of planning, but eh for now.

AOT: Chainsmoking His Love: 100% want to finish this. it's meant to be 20 chapters, as a play off of 20 cigarettes in a box, and i really intended it to fit this pattern once i decided to expand it from a one-shot. but, i should be on #14 now, and i have plans for 18, 19, 20, but.... not ideas to get us there. and idk how many chapters i can get away with as just filler moments, and i worry i've already done too many. so.. that's a frustrating one to be stuck on, but by no means am I giving up.

Quiet Through the Trees: unfortunately, this one is on indefinite hiatus, likely not to be concluded. again, i can say more specifically if you're curious but i'm trying to keep this post from being 1000 lines. i will say that part of that is bc i was inspired / wanted to write it for a moot who dropped out of fandom and that kind of took a lot of my motivaiton with it. (no hate to her i want her to be happy and healthy! just a byproduct.)

Hunger Games: Caveat Emptor is a series with no planned length or even super planned out plot; based on the BOOK Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - I haven't actually seen the movie yet. but i had a lot of fun writing the first chapter, more fun writing than i have in a really long time, actually, and so.. yeah i'm going to keep with it, even if it isn't exactly the thing for this blog which is mostly anime-related. but i mean, i have passions about other stuff too, so.. why not just put all the writing together? you guys are lucky it isn't tom from succession and that's all i'll say lmaaaaoo.

JJK: Commandment series: while this is probably my longest hiatus work, i 100% plan to finish this. i have 2 fics to go in it and they've been on my mind since 2021 so... fuck it i MUST get them out. but they're foggy ideas that are really daunting when i go to write, and i find i lose my writing stamina/ motivation quickly. but they're not dead.

Unholy Land: while I've said i'm kind of leaving it open and i'd come back to do more, especially as jjk progresses, i'm finding it hard to do so. this was my first big piece on my old account and it was when i was most concerned with being a canon-compliant fic writer. as jjk lore continues, i'm not confident in its continued accuracy from the original 2020 publication. i have possible ideas of where to go from how i'd left off, but.. i have a complex relationship with jjk now and i'd kind of like to see how gege keeps things moving before i make a decision on that.

i think that's all of what was up in the air in October... again, feel free to ask more specific questions, or lmk if i missed anything / there's anything else you're curious about. thank you SO, so, so much for asking and caring about my fics <33333

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[mythiccheroacademia]

What You Fight About

part 2

A/N: just something I thought about

Headcanon: what you two would fight about the most

Warnings: toxic behaviors, yelling, cursing, angst

Midoriya Izuku:

his absence

being the number one hero is demanding

it’s also been his dream since he could remember

you understood that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t frustrate you when he’d disappear for days at a time

izuku tries to balance his job and home life

but it isn't enough

~~~

You and Izuku don’t fight much. In fact, you never really do. You’re both so compromising that disagreements rarely happen.

But when your kid is involved, that complacency slips away. Even when it comes to one another.

“I’m done talking about this.”

“Honey, why won’t you just listen to me?” he begged, but the irritation in his tone gave it more sharpness than he intended. “[S/N] doesn’t need the tutor. It’s just the teacher.”

You began to pick up the leftover toys from floor more so to expel pent up energy rather than to simply clean. You scoffed, shaking your head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Excuse me?” Midoriya snipped. His eyes followed you as you discarded the toys and crossed your arms beside the couch, finally giving him your attention. “I think I know my own son, Y/N.”

Izuku cared so much for your child and you knew that. But that underlying message your brain processed within his words pissed you off.

“And you think I don’t?”

“I just don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

An incredulous laugh left your lips before they moved into a frown. “He’s failing 4th grade, Izuku. We can’t move him to a different classroom every time he gets a bad grade. At some point, we have to take responsibility! He needs the extra help!”

“You just don’t understand,” the hero muttered, running a hand through his hair.

What he said shouldn’t have set you off, but it did. Everything suddenly flooded your head. All the stress you had to deal with alone bubbled up your throat and exploded.

“No, you don’t understand!”

“Yes I do!”

“How!? You’re barely in his fucking life anyways!”

It went silent shortly after that.

The outburst felt good, but the aftermath made your squeeze with guilt. Izuku’s frown softened into shock before melting into something deeper than pain.

Once your words finally processed through your head, you immediately tried to take it back.

“Izuku, I didn’t mean that—”

“Yes you did.”

You thickly swallowed and averted your eyes to the floor. He was right. You did. You’d been wanting to say it for so long, but this wasn’t the way you planned to deliver those thoughts.

Your gaze moved back to your husband once he gathered his duffle bag and slid on his shoes.

“Baby,” you sighed, your voice much softer than before. It was almost insane how easily the anger left you. “Where are you going?”

You wilted with his next words. “I’ll stay over at the agency. To give you some space. We’ll talk more after we’ve both cooled down,” he sadly smiled.

Despite the hurt silver-lining his green eyes, Midoriya softly held your chin and kissed your forehead. Something he always did when your disagreements didn’t end on a good note. As if to reassure you that, even though he was upset, he still loved you all the same.

And that just made you feel worse.

“’Zuku—”

“Don’t worry about [S/N]. I’ll take him to school tomorrow.” He paused to look you in your eyes. “I love you, always.”

“I love you too,” you quietly resigned and watched him disappear behind the front door leaving you to let your head fall into your hands.

Bakugo Katsuki

his jealousy

bakugo is confident in many areas of his life

it’s one of his qualities that won you over

but he still had those tiny insecurities that showed up in large ways

aka losing you

and he had no idea how to handle it

~~~

The alcohol probably wasn’t a good idea considering Bakugo was already noticeably pissed on the way to the house party. But everyone assumed it was just another one of his moods he’d get over sooner or later. He wasn’t a drinker, but a beer or two usually loosened him up.

However, your friends looked at each other with worry behind the door to the room you two were in. Despite the party lights and booming stereo, they could hear the angry muffled yelling you two were doing.

You were 100% drunk, but you were 110% sure this man was telling you to stay away from your friend. Your best friend.

“If it’s one thing you have, it’s the audacity,” you sassily quipped.

“I’m not fucking playing around with you, Y/N,” Bakugo snapped with too much bite than you cared to hear. “I want you to stay away from that two-bagged eyed bastard!”

“You always do this! Shinsou’s my friend!”

The redness in his ears wasn’t only from the drinks as his nostrils flared with barely contained irritation. “Friend my ass. You didn’t see the way he was looking at you, and that fucker had the nerve to grab you in front of me!”

“He was moving me out of the way!”

“He fucking felt you up is what he did!”

You smacked your teeth, entirely done with the argument. You weren’t getting anywhere. “Now you’re just being delusional.”

Bakugo pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out in a desperate attempt to calm himself. A feat even he was surprised about considering the situation. He tried so hard to not be as explosive, to reign in his emotions, for you. But his jealousy burned hot within his veins.

“Y/N. I’m asking you, as your man, to put some distance between you and Shinsou,” he lowly warned.

Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, but the words flew out of your mouth before you could stop them. “Like hell I will. Hitoshi’s been here longer than you have by years. I’m not gonna drop him just because you feel insecure.”

That withered away any form of self-restraint Katsuki had left. He felt exposed and hurt. And dealt with that the best way he knew how.

His hazy brain clouded over with anger and he went on the defensive.

“I bet you want him.”

“What? No I don’t?”

“You’re probably sleeping with him behind my fucking back,” he dryly laughed. “Am I not good enough anymore? Is that it?”

You were quickly sobering up. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Of course not! I’m not a cheater!”

“Then why won’t cut him off, damn it!?”

Your voices rose in volumes too high for comfort. The crackle in his palms didn’t scare you one bit, but it was enough for Kirishima and Mina to come in and try to separate you two.

You ignored their pleading and the two of your found each other in the other’s face.

“Why are you so jealous!?”

“BECAUSE HE’S TAKING YOU AWAY FROM ME!!”

“NO HE’S NOT!

“IT’S SO EASY FOR YOU TO DEFEND HIM AND PROBABLY JUST AS EASY FOR YOU TO SPREAD YOUR FUCKING LEGS—"

A resounding slap cut him short. That seemed to snap him out of whatever alcohol induced rage he was in. However, Bakugo only had a moment to register your expression of disgust before Kirishima pulled him away.

“Fuck you, asshole” was the last thing you said before Mina lead into the hallway.

Kirishima watched his friend’s breathing turn ragged with each puff.

“Come on, man. Let’s just—”

“FUCK!” Katsuki roared before throwing a nearby water bottle to the floor. He fisted his hair and clenched his teeth.

He messed up. Big time.

And as upset as he was with himself, he couldn’t help but be even angrier at the thought of who you’d run to first.

Todoroki Shouto:

how blunt he is

he was a bit socially inept and you loved him for that

but sometimes, you get frustrated

todoroki does too because 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t understand why

when you get angry, he completely shuts down bc he doesn’t know how to handle it any other way

and it didn’t help that he was petty asf

~~~

“Okay.”

You looked up and folded your lips in a tight line. It was the same monotone answer he’d been giving you all day and it was getting on your nerves.

“Sho, baby, can you at least try and act like you somewhat care about this vacation we’re planning,” you said as sweetly as possible.

Although you were annoyed, you understood that things flew over your boyfriend’s head sometimes and, hopefully, a little nudge would point him in the right direction.

“I’m listening, prince(ss),” he dimly responded.

He didn’t bother to look up from the papers he was reading at the table and it made you huff. Folding up the magazine, you just stalked your way out of the kitchen.

“You know what? Don’t even bother. I’ll do it myself.”

That made Shouto look up. His brows furrowed in confusion and he caught your hand before you could completely pass by him. Why were you suddenly upset? He told you he was listening.  

“Hey, wait. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked.

You let him pull you in between his legs. He looked genuinely lost and it was enough to soften your exterior.

“I just feel like you don’t care sometimes,” you said, deciding to just be blunt.

“Huh?” he hummed. “What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know…it just seems like you don’t have an interest in anything I have to say if it doesn’t involve hero work, your family, or something like that.”

Todoroki took offense to that. Of course he cared about what you had to say. He loved you. Just because he wasn’t gripping on to every word you spoke in mundane life didn’t mean he didn’t care.

There were ways to express his thoughts, but Shouto wasn’t always the best at gently doing it.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t agree,” he said.

You looked off to the side for a second before looking down at him. “Well that’s how I feel,” you retorted.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but you’re wrong.”

You watched him for a moment, waiting for him to explain himself. However, he just stared back at you as if there was nothing else left to say. The silence was sickening.

You snatched your hand out his grip. “Okay, Shouto,” you bit and left.

He hadn’t heard his first name in a while.

Your boyfriend dumbly blinked already feeling more lost. He didn’t understand why you were so angry.

He called Midoriya about it and was told he was being intolerant. The entire conversation honestly made him feel like an asshole and Todoroki didn’t like that at all. So he gave you some space before finding you in the kitchen again, this time equipped to right his wrongs—even though he still wasn’t entirely sure what he did.

He called your name once and instead of responding, you just kept going about your task. That sort of miffed him, but he tried again. This time, you hummed back but the tension behind it made him feel defensive for some odd reason.

“Can we talk about this morning?”

“What? Are my feelings suddenly valid to you now?” you sarcastically replied.

Todoroki raised a sharp brow at your attitude and decided he was over it already. Here he was trying to apologize, and you were being difficult. He wouldn’t fight with you over something so insignificant.

“Fine. When you’re done with your little tantrum, we can talk about this like adults.”

You’d never spun around so quickly. “Really, Todoroki?”

Last name basis. Petty.

But he was even pettier.

“Yes, really, [L/N].”

His half-lidded bored stare made your scalp prickle.

“Fine. Me and my little tantrum are gonna go somewhere and you can plan the vacation all by yourself like the adult you are.”

“Fine. I’d probably get it done faster anyways.”

You let out an offended gasp. “Fine!”

“Fine!” he tsked, crossing his arms.

You two looked away from one another and stomped out of the room in childish anger.

[extasiswings]

Kay first of all you didn't need to go that hard on your answer jesus christ lord THE CATHOLIC IN YOU DESTROYED EVERYTHING IN ME IM GONNA BE WEEPING FOR DAYS OVER THAT BLOOD ANALOGY. and second I wanted to ask because I'm new to the Fandom and everyone and i mean EVERYONE is so so confident about canon buddie and LIKE I've been played before dude I've been through this hell hole man YOU CANT GIVE ME HOPE NOW GUYS ITS NOT NICE TO PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS so like how certain are we that they're gonna make them actually be together? (By the way i love love love your tumblr and your WRITING DUDEEEE ITS SO PRETTY IT MADE ME WEEP)

Well, a) I've still seen a lot of pessimism, so I wouldn't go so far as to say that everyone is super confident (however, I would say that the types of people who are confident about it is more relevant which brings me to...), b) ...look, here's the thing and I've said it at least once before so I hope that this doesn't come off as harsh or offensive in any way, but:

I've shipped a lot of ships in my time, and yes, some of those were slash ships. I've been actively queerbaited exactly twice (in the real, original meaning of the term, the ship being actively used for marketing and teasing and promotional purposes with zero intention of follow-through, not the nonsense that term has been twisted into now where people throw it around to mean "any time I personally thought these two characters should kiss and they didn't"), I've had ships that I shipped but never expected anything from because I was very aware of the fact that my desire to explore a certain dynamic did not mean that the writers were deliberately writing a queer story, and I've had ships that occupied a technically canon space (as in, actively kissed and had sex on screen and had confessions of feelings) but where characters were killed off before there could be legitimate follow-through and where the dynamic was retconned by word of God. The GREAT MAJORITY of the time when people online talk about being baited or let down by something not going canon and I go to the source material, I end up sitting there thinking "...okay, but this is at most a relationship (either between friends or enemies) with occasional garden-variety homoeroticism that people could read as queer subtext if they really wanted to, but it was clearly not intentional and was never going to be anything more than that." [This also applies to instances of, say, if a network or a show has zero queer characters, especially zero queer main characters, and/or if queerness within the show or on the network has never been handled well, there is no reason to believe that they are suddenly going to do an about face and make their main characters queer and in love, context matters].

Again, I'm not trying to be harsh, but I think that there used to be a much clearer divide between fandoms and creators and a much more prevalent attitude and recognition within fandom space that we can take crumbs and build castles (the given an inch, take a mile perspective) but ALSO that those crumbs are not necessarily representative of the reality of everything the writers or actors or producers of a particular piece of media were ever doing or intending. And I've noticed a big shift where it seems like now, as that divide has broken down, that has turned into, essentially "because I have these crumbs and they can be viewed this way, therefore that is 100% what was intended here, it was deliberate, it is the One True Correct Interpretation, and any attempt by the writers/actors/etc to clarify (or even pulling the gentle 'that wasn't what we meant but you are free to view it however you want') is a conspiracy against queer viewers." And that's just...not it.

All of that to say, I am personally confident in this particular ship going canon because I am reading the room and the very specific choices that have been made surrounding the development of these characters and of their relationship. As much as I like having fun and being a clown, I tend to be pretty realistic when it comes to when I am reading into things only what I want to see and ignoring everything that could contradict that and when the writing is on the wall and in this case...the writing is on the wall as far as I'm concerned. It's about the way they have never, since the beginning of S3, given any other path a legitimate chance. It's about the way they've doubled down at every opportunity they had to walk away from this. It's about the specific ways they chose to handle the demise of Eddie's relationship with Ana (from the implication in "make sure you're following your heart" that his heart was already somewhere else, to the shooting, to the guardianship scene, to having honest-to-god panic attacks over the thought of a future with this woman, to the specific language choice of her being the first woman that he's wanted anything to do with since Shannon), it's about the centering of Buck and of their relationship in at least one scene in every single episode since the shooting, even in an episode like 5x3 where there was very little time for it. Idk what to say, really, this just...feels different and there's only one logical place this leads and I trust the writers to follow that thread to its conclusion. Could I be wrong? Sure, I could be. But at least for right now, I don't think I am.

[And THANK YOU!]