#100 percent headcanon now btw

[babiebom]

Sdv Age and Height Headcanons

A/N: hi! It’s officially my birthday(the 15th) and I am now 23 :((((( I didn’t know what to post because everything is in the works right now but I wanted to post something to celebrate in a way so here!! Only base game stardew characters so no ridgeside or expanded. I do count Rasmodius/Marlon/Gunther/Morris as base game even though they’re expanded upon in mods. If anyone has questions for me (personal or about my fics or whatever) feel free to request or ask!!

Tw: none other than a mention of death in Shane’s part.

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

We always have to start with the loml (it tries to autocorrect loml to mommy and lonely btw)

I think he’s about 23-26 I think he has a degree in IT but I’m not sure. He has to be able to have graduated or taken classes or something.

I think he’s 5’10 at the shortest and 6’2 maybe 6’2 1/2 at the tallest.

Idk just seems tall to me because he’s lowkey intimidating.

Sam

Him and Abigail are in the same age range. I think they were born in the same year.

This means he is about 22-25 and his birthday occurs right after summer break(maybe I should do birthday headcanons?)

I think he is a very tall boy(keep in mind that I am short af so what I mean by very tall depends)

So maybe he is 5’10 at the shortest like Seb and 6’3 at the tallest.

I think him and Seb can be interchangeable when it comes to height? Both of them however come behind Harvey and Elliott but not by a lot.

Shane

The shortest bachelor for sure

I think he is very short and stocky he gives me big strong dad energy like your dads not the tallest but man is strong af.

So maybe 5’5-5’8? I mean 5’8 isnt short at all really but keep in mind I’m saying this is the tallest he can be, and the height really does make some guys seem really short when in reality they arent( also my phone tried to add king every time I typed short so there’s that)

Among the older bachelors so about 31-35?

I feel like that’s enough time to go from playing football(sorry gridball) in high school, getting a scholarship to play in college, dropping out to take care of his goddaughter when his friends die and becoming depressed.

He just seems like a 30 something year old going through the trenches :(.

Harvey

I think the oldest out of the bachelors and bachelorettes. He has gone to med school and that is I think at least like 4 years then 8 years? Unless I’m wrong lmao

So I think he would be around 35-38

He’s an older man that has spent his life helping people it’s so cute

He is on the taller side. In my mind he gives gentle giant vibes.

So 6’0 at the shortest and maybe 6’5 at the tallest. I think he towers over people but his posture is so bad that no one notices.

Alex

I think he is between the ass trio and Maru so 21-24

I think he graduated high school only a couple years prior to year one because of how passionate he is about gridball and how he thinks it’ll happen I don’t think anyone older would be like “someday I’ll go pro” they’d be crushed already

I think he is 6’0 exactly. He gives off 6 feet vibes like I can see that if he had a tinder profile it would 100 percent say “I’m 6’0 btw”

Elliott

I think he’s 34 exactly.

He seems like during his 20s he worked in the family business, he did what was told of him because he didn’t really know how to be an adult.

Then when he hit 30 he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with the family business and decided to move to Pelican Town to follow his dreams of writing.

He had enough money saved up to move and cut contact with his parents after they threatened to disown him because of him choosing to chase his dreams.

I think he is up there with Harvey as I’ve already said. I think they could be the same height range and who is taller is interchangeable.

So 6’0-6’5 really. Gives off hunk on the cover of a romance novel vibes.

Penny

I think she’s around 24-26. And I do think she has a teaching license and an education degree so this would give her enough time to have graduated and come back to Pelican Town after like a year of teaching in the city.

She seems sort of mature but immature at the same time, like immature when it comes to romance and dating, and sort of life but also she has the vibes of an introvert that was forced to mature quickly so she is good at making decisions, but at the same time her emotions are out of whack.

I think she’s a petite girl she doesn’t look very tall at all.

So I think she’s 5’2-5’5 I think for women to me 5’5 that’s the cap on people seeming short to me for women.

Abigail

Luckily I didn’t have to think about this too hard because I already answered this in one of my very first posts

I think she is 5’4 to 5’8 (sorry I’m American so 162 to 172 cm?)

She’s the first one I’m doing I’m not converting everyone but it’s like 2.5 cm per inch and 30.5 per foot

Her age is around 22-25 in year 1 I think. I know I’m my original Abigail headcanon I said oldest is 24 but I think 25 is okay.

She is amongst the youngest in her grade level during school years.

Haley

I think she’s on the younger side, like the same age range as Alex. Especially because she gives the vibes if she just graduated and hasn’t grown out of her mean girl/insecure personality

So she’s about 21-24

I think she’s similar to Abigail where she gives off like petite girl energy but also tall girl energy. Like I feel like she was a cheerleader and people always said that she could model so maybe she’s on the taller side

So maybe 5’4-5’7

Idk what it is about women that are 5’7 are specifically beautiful to me, they seem super tall but not so tall that it makes me feel like they’re a giant, their arms and legs are long idkidk.

Emily

She’s the older sister of Haley, and I think she’s pretty close to Shane and Gus so I think she’s on the older side

I also think that she could be the oldest out of all the bachelorettes.

So maybe 29-35

She seems a lot more mature than Haley, as well as understanding and confident in her life and her choices

As well as she doesn’t seem insecure or as if she’s weird at all like I think younger people are.

I think her height range is very small compared to the others like

She’s 5’5-5’6

She gives off the vibes for that like not too short not too tall just average.

Maru

In my opinion Maru is the youngest out of the bachelorettes AND bachelors because I think everyone is around the same age and she’s the younger sister of Sebastian who I think is closer to everyone else’s ages so it makes her younger.

I think she’s about 19-21

Like yes she’s working as a nurse, but it’s a small town and she’s an actual genius, I don’t think they care that she’s young. Besides Harvey handles everything on his own she mostly does paperwork and assistant stuff.

Her height has to be around like 5’2-5’4 I think she is a very small girl despite Robin and Demetrius being a little on the taller side.

Leah

I think she might be the second oldest out of the bachelorettes

Like her backstory is her working in a dead end job, she was in a longtime relationship and could’ve gotten married had she not decided to leave

So she’s about 27-31 she’s not the same age as Emily, but she does hang out with Elliott so I think she’s a little older.

I think she’s about 5’6 she makes me feel as if she’s about average in heigh because of how artistic she is I feel like anyone smaller would be very disadvantaged when carving or doing anything and so would someone taller.

Pierre

I think he would be about 5’9-5’11

Like he doesn’t seem too tall but he does give me taller side energy

Would probably tell people he’s 6 feet bc he gives me the vibes of someone who would because he wants to seem like he’s perfect.

I think he’s like 45-48

He is for sure older than Caroline especially because I believe he is into the traditional gender roles which means younger wife and older husband.

Caroline

Caroline I think is a very average woman. And not by looks because I think she actually would be quite attractive like I feel like she would be vERY beautiful.

I mean in terms of her body, she isn’t too big or too small, she didn’t have too much fat or too little her body is just average.

So I think she would be 5’4-5’6

I also think all of the moms are in a similar age range so she would be 44-47

Honestly with the way they’re designed I would’ve said 30s but that would make no sense if their kids are in the marrying age/having kids range.

Jodi

I think she is on the shorter side, she gives me short thicc mom energy. Especially because Kent is a military man.

So maybe 5’2-5’5 bc I think Kent towers over her and so does Sam. The kids did not get her genes because I do think Vincent would be quite tall when he is an adult.

I also think she would be like 43-46 she has a kid that’s an adult and a kid that’s a child so I think this age range would be more plausible for her to have had one kid young and the other one at an older age.

Kent

Is large and in charge like BIG MAN

So I think he must be 6’2-6’5

Like towers over most people and intimidates them based on size alone.

Similar age as Jodi. I think they probably were in the same grade in high school so same age 43-46

Vincent

Right now like as of year 1 would probably be tiny

Like people think he’s going to turn out like Jodi but would actually turn out to be like Kent and Sam and be huge.

So maybe like 3’10?

Kinda small for his age but not like super small?

He is probably 6 or 7 years old

So CUTEEEEEE

Evelyn

Granny Evelyn is probably TINY

Like I think she is 4’9

She’s so cute and small and was probably taller when she was younger

Also old as HELL from how she looks

So maybe from 80-95

Because she as well as George have to older than everyone on the older side.

George

Was probably on the taller side before he was wheelchair bound.

Probably 5’11 exactly like not super tall but tall enough.

Him and Evelyn have such a big height gap and it’s ADORABLE.

I think maybe 2 or 3 years older than Evelyn

83-98 so super old lmao

Pam

I think the oldest out of the parents

So maybe 49-54

She hates the fact that she’s on the older side out of the parents, especially because she isn’t really close to the others as much as she would like to be. She feels out of place among them.

I think she’s about 5’6 I can see her being VERY beautiful when she was younger, and she probably still has a nice body and face, especially if she stops drinking.

Lewis

His ass is probably in his 60s but sees himself as younger

I think 60s isn’t really old at all, like it’s still enough time to do different things.

But his glory days are over

Probably 5’9 like average height.

Clint

I think he might be younger than Emily. His crush seems very immature to me. And it makes him a little less incel-y but idk.

So maybe 27-30?

He’s definitely old enough to know not to act a fool but like it makes sense at this age that he’s an asshole after being rejected for so long y’know.

I think he’s maybe 5’9? Not too short but not too tall. Definitely thinks being taller could’ve helped his situation.

Gunther

I cannot tell anything about this man at ALL

He’s very mysterious

I think he is literally 40-59

Could literally be anywhere in that

He’s probably 5’10 too since I think he’s able to see something on the shelves, and he can see over the counter.

Gus

He’s on the older side. Idk if he has kids or anything, but he gives dad vibes

So maybe 50-59 not too old but like middle aged.

Very sweet and that’s what gives me the father vibes.

Also he doesn’t seem like a gossip but knows a lot which gives me that age range.

I think he’s either 5’6 or 6’3 nothing else. I think 5’6 is more likely though.

Demetrius

I think he is a little younger than Robin. It’s lowkey what makes him and Sebastian to be so bad at getting along.

So maybe 40-42?

Old enough to be a dad but not really old enough I guess.

I think he is VERY tall. Especially since in game it looks like he has a little height over Robin.

So 6’3 at the shortest? 6’5 at the most?

Robin

43-46

I think she had Sebastian at 20? Maybe younger but I think 20 is a good age. She was young and barely out of teenagedom that her parents were probably upset.

I think she’s a little tall but not too tall like 5’7

Very beautiful and her legs are longer than her torso but not in a tall SpongeBob vibe y’know.

Marlon

I think he’s in his 50s? So 50-60

I think he is younger than Lewis and that’s also why they can’t really get along other than Marnie.

Probably 5’10

Like tall enough that when fighting monsters he has no disadvantage but not so tall that he can’t get anything done.

Linus

He is also mysterious.

He looks old but at the same time he lives in nature and his looks probably don’t match his age.

So anywhere from 50-70?

Some 70 year olds look young and can move around and I don’t doubt that he is agile due to him being a nature man.

Leo

On the taller side of kids.

So sort of like 4’5 or almost 5’0

I think Leo is older than Jas and Vincent

But not too much older that it’s weird.

So maybe 10?

Marnie

I think she is on the older side. I don’t think that she is too old, for sure younger than Lewis

I think she’s like 50-56?

Young enough that Lewis wants to sleep with her for sure

Also young enough that she still hopes by some miracle that she has a child

I think she’s like 5’2-5’4

Rasmodius

I think he is either like super old like hundreds of years or like a mortal person old

So maybe like 60-70

Quite a bit older than Caroline and old enough that he has lived and seen some things

Like an affair and a divorce and losing everything

Probably 6’0 exactly ngl

Jas

Also on the smaller side, and will end up like 5’2 at most when she’s older

So like 3’7 first year she is a very small BABY

She’s also the same age as Vincent so 6 or 7

Willy

I think he is old but doesn’t look it

So in his 60s-70s

Has time to fish and perfect it has time to gain things and lose things

Has lived through a LOT

I think he is 5’5-5’9

A bit on the smaller side but y’know short kings exist.

[kaddyssammlung]

Im the stc lore anon. Im very aware of the old interviews. In fact thats exactly part of why i get so frustrated with the fan interpretations of lore. Because its one of the things in my view that debunks the romance about sleep theories. Its just very frustrating feeling so strongly about my theory the fan lore is not canon while seemingly most of the fandom assumes the fan lore is absolutely 100 percent canon and just needs some more puzzle pieces to unluck the True Story. I used to believe the fanmade lore, but i no longer can do so especially when ive seen various bits of concerning behavior in the fandom where i think people take it wayyy too far. I think the only "canon" interpretation of the lyrics is the real person behind the masks life story, otherwise theres no "canon" and we are supposed to do whatever we want. But i think things have just gotten wayyy out of control with the its about a romance with sleep theory. What makes me actually hate it is how much people insist the people on stage are "characters" (i regularly see disclaimers saying "dont worry im just talking about the characters not the real people" when i really dont think they are "characters" in the way people think... this is not an anti fanfic/shipping/headcanon about real people stance btw i dont care about that as long as you dont go too far, i just dont like the insistence theyre "characters" because that feels so dehumanizing) and how rude people are if you dont agree with the fanlore (the vitriol aimed at alternate interpretations is really disgusting, especially the "why are sexualizing the lyrics, youre a bad person" crowds vitriol and insistence theyre the Good Fans while if you dont agree you deserve awful things). Otherwise, i just get *personally* annoyed with how often i come across the "its totally canon that its about sleep theories" when i dont want to *personally* hear those theories at all. I hope im making sense, and maybe im being an asshole in how im expressing my views idk. I just really feel like an outsider in this fandom and get so happy when i come across people who actually agree with me because it makes me feel less alone and like im not stupid or whatever. Just have fun, let the music mean something special to you, and remember the band (and their fans for that matter, going back to the vitriol thing) are human beings, thats what ultimately matters. I just think the lore as the fans see it has gotten into concerning territory. Wont leave any more anons about this for now because i dont want to drag this out more, i just saw your replies/post and wanted to respond in hopes what im trying to say will finally come out right (im not always the best with words, im very blunt, im very opinionated, etc)

Good Morning or Guten Morgen or Happy Timezone

I get your point and I don't think that you're an asshole.

I think you are struggling with something that many struggle and the fans that you call out also struggle with that: it's acceptance. Or accepting what is; in that case it's fan's who act a certain way or have different opinions or see things in a different way.

Acceptance is a mastery. It's something that is very hard to achieve.

Your situation reminds me of something that I could not accept for a long time in that fandom. So I'm going to talk about that.

This will probably be a long post so I'm hiding this and also mental health topics will come up.

I always had this assumption that everyone could see what I see when I look at Vessel. I'm talking concerts photos and “peeled Vessel” and the things that get revealed when the paint comes down. To me his scars are one of the few things that I can observe and so can everyone else, right?! There are so many even the ones from a certain attempt on both his right and his left forearm.

Well...right?! They are right in your face....

No! They are right in my face. I got into weird arguments about this topic. Which is a weird thing to argue about because this topic is a very painful one and also a strange one. There is a giant stigma around it. There are even “mental health professionals” on YouTube who refuse to talk about that topic and pretend that it does not exist because YouTube does not like these topics. It's a weird topic.

But it was exactly that what got me into the lyrics so much. I wanted to figure out the story behind what I could see.

All I found was myself and the parts of me that I denied that even existed. I stopped searching for the story and started to face myself instead.

I found a great new spiritual teacher because of that. She teaches acceptance and also sacred neutrality.

It's been almost a year now with her teachings and me finally accepting that not everyone can see what I see when I look at Vessel.

There will always be humans out there who call all of this an assumption. To them he did not self-harm and does not have scars from a certain attempt. To them that's an assumption while for me it's a fact.

Those fans are not worse then me and I'm not better then them. I can accept that they just have a different view on everything.

It's the same with lore interpretations or the way that some treat them in a (your words) dehumanizing way.

I can accept all that I just don't read it or interact with them. I let them have their view on things and I have my weird view on things.

I argued with fans that said things like: I don't even like their music or listen to their music but....

They are a thing, too btw.

When it comes to Sleep btw. To me it's an entity. They are very real btw. I learned how to deal with them, too. But I can totally understand that many humans out there just don't get topics like entities or idk...I mean I saw fairy-like beings right in front of me one day. 99% of humans would probably just say that I just made this up. I can understand that or rather I learned how to accept that.

When I first heard about Sleep I thought about that day and the fairies. I just thought...maybe that guy is a bit weird like me?!

We all had different experiences that shaped us. And also some fans really are just 14.

One of the reasons why I left the big Discord for example was because they allow all ages. I had an argument with a nine year old! That's when my alarm bells came online and I thought to myself: no...not okay! Some fans act a certain way because they are actual kids.

Like I said....I found a place within me to accept all that.

But it took a lot of facing myself to find that acceptance. And it's a process that is on-going.

Maybe this helps you...maybe not....maybe it clarifies something...maybe not.

I'm learning everything from her btw. It's energy work....energy work means you work with your soul, your higher self, higher dimensional beings....all theses things.

One thing that I forgot....accepting something and agreeing with it is not the same thing. I can totally disagree but still accept that something.

[oldfashionedbutlervibes]

I have so many, so damn many headcanons for this little dork

And so, please enjoy some of my favorites

Dating him:

—If you are to take the dating him route, he 100 percent tries to be artsy for you, like he’ll try so hard to find clean paper and maybe a pencil in his dumpster or on the street to do a drawing of you (it actually doesn’t look that bad if he finds his materials, but he cannot draw hands for the life of him)

— If you find him with fresh swan scarring I absolutely think he can’t handle having his wounds cleaned, like at all. He will probably yelp a lot and try and swat you away, especially if your using peroxide or sum, he just can’t-

—….since mashing your phone faces together is the equivalent of a kiss I think it’d kill him- if not from his literal face blowing up from embarrassment most definitely

—on a similar topic, HE. IS. SO. CUDDLY- would be hugging you 24/7 mmkay

—tried to steal you a valentines box of chocolate once. Ended up feeling so bad he returned it after a very short 15 minutes.

—….bottom…

Your his pal

—he has like..55 nicknames for you and uses them depending on occasion

—never ever ever forgets your birthday even if you don’t stay friends long

—will truly do anything in his power to make you happy

—your killing the spider btw

—I so believe that he has found a full deck of cards in his dumpster and begs you to play uno with him :)

General

—I think he’s been mugged by stabby and shooty so many times that their just on first name basis

—tries counseling Jerry when he can 10000%, he will come over to the booth and try asking about his marriage which only makes poor Jerry feel worse but will try to not show that so Randy feels useful <3 (not like a ship but as bros)

— P A N S E X U A L (probably cannon by now but still let me have this)

—Has one attempted murder charge against his God-

—scared of every single bug except butterflies

—had a stray dog as a pet once (he named it Poof or sum)

—On the subject of animals I think he honks back at the swans to try and assert dominance

Overall I just see him as quite the silly, 10/10 partner 11/10 friend >:D

(Update: OH MY GOD- YALL ARE LIKING THIS A LOT HM? DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE SOME JERRY/OLIVER ONES? LEAVE EM IN MY ASKS PLEASE-)

[spider-man-2o99]

Captain's Log: been a couple minutes

hi. quick update. not dead. just had a psychotic episode nd was real fuckin freaked out bcuz of th blinding paranoia and all the other everythings for a couple months, there. i needed to take a break from tumblr for my own mental health, bcuz i was just... it just. got to be All Too Much, and when that damn movie dropped on top of it all, especially, but-- i digress. 

when i get scared, i hide. so. i took a break. because every time i logged onto tumblr, i would just purposefully spend hours looking at shit that i Knew would be emotionally distressing at best and actively triggering at worst--Do Not Do This, btw. shock, horror, surprise, CapCap, but yes, self-harm does in fact do harm to oneself--and it has largely been a long two months shivering in delusional-terrified-prey-animal-mode under a metaphorical fucking rock in the meantime... but, that said, i do still apologize to those of you who i made worry, going dead silent like that.

ep's over now. the time away was... good for me, i think. ultimately. 

even as odd as it is, as a result of it, to see the post-movie sm2099-sphere, and watch from the outside the effects of my own whale-fall as it ripples through that little space that used to just be mine to bear for so long, for the most part. funny little quiet echoes of my own ego and thumbprints i can only recognize because i see them on my own hands every day, and then idly kinda wonder if i deserve to even have had that kind of impact in the first place. the earnest sincerity of that kind of love frightens and flatters and completely, utterly, melts and destroys me, entire. it is sweet to be acknowledged. it is perplexing to Exist outside of myself, and be praised for it. 

..and it is amusing, sometimes, when i can occasionally tell that someone has just Sparknotes-ed from my fic instead of reading the comics because they misinterpreted one of the Jokey-Jokes and/or My Headcanons in there as actual 100-percent comic canon, lol (it's happened more often than you'd think?? im no snitch but i SWEAR im not making this up. im autistic i love 2 Recognize Patterns Across Multiple Bodies of Text 4 fun).

i don't know if i'm quite ready to be Back, yet. but. tonight, i am okay. and i Will Be okay, in the days to come, as well. things are hard now, but they will not always be. 

so. i'll see you later, whenever that is. i hope the future is kind to you. we'll get there together, even if it isn't.

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember Day 29: Doctor

*deep sigh*

10th doctor/Simm!Master

No, I will not apologize. :P Some background music if you like.

The message had said very little. "Meet me on Alphacentari XI on Nov 29 2019 at 1pm GST, timeline 6." 

Well, of course timeline 6, the Doctor thought to himself. He wasn't about to find a timeline portal and potentially even regenerate himself as a shrimp based on one cryptic message. 

A honing address followed.

There were only a few beings who knew to be that specific- and less who The Doctor was on entirely good terms with.

He waited a few days until Donna was off the ship visiting family. Then he decided to follow up on the message. Something about it felt very familiar. He decided to proceed with caution. 

When The Doctor got to the address (a house, it turned out), there was a small box with a large red button on it in a basket outside the door. 

Even stranger- a note that said "Pick Me Up and Bring Me Inside".

Stranger still- the note was in Gallifreyan.

To the Doctor's knowledge, there was only one being alive who could write that note. And technically, he wasn't supposed to be alive anymore (although, to be fair, the Doctor was hardly surprised about that part at this point).

The Doctor looked at the box. He smelled it. He scanned it with his Sonic screwdriver. ("Remote control to neural dampener-advanced" it read. Curious.)

This was clearly a trap.

Fortunately, the Doctor was brilliant at traps. He picked up the button-on-a-box and walked inside the room.

As predicted, the Master was standing there. He had the same body as when the Doctor had last seen him, only this time he was wearing a electric collar around his neck. Neural dampener, the Doctor thought. Curious. It appeared to be inactive.

"Master!" exclaimed the Doctor. "Why did you call me here?"

"Look at me" the Master replied, a hard-to-read expression on his face.

The Doctor looked at him. No obvious injuries. Some tachyon particles but that was to be expected. Suit early 21st century Earth- stylish. What was he supposed to...?

The Master sighed. "NO, Doctor. LOOK at me." He tilted his head to the side as if exposing it.

What was his plan? This felt like a trap, but he had given the Doctor some leverage with the dampener. He obviously wanted him to trust him. And- sharing your mind with another Timelord was certainly an act of trust and intimacy. The Doctor hadn't experienced that since....

Well, it had been a long time.

The Doctor quickly shut some doors in his own mind to hide potentially damaging information. Then, he placed two of his fingers on the Master's temple and closed his eyes. The Master closed his eyes as well.

The doors in the Master's mind all appeared to be open. The Doctor quickly scanned for malicious intent but-

Oh.

Oh my.

So that's why.

The Doctor had to admit, it had been far too long. And he had missed this as well.

He sent a mental affirmation.

Then he stepped back, keeping the psychic link intact.

"Master," he resumed. "Why have you called me here? What kind of evil scheme could you be plotting?" He hoped that wasn't too over the top. It felt appropriately Doctor-y. 

The Master smiled one of his wicked conniving (and devastatingly sexy the Doctor thought) smiles. "Ah.  my dear Doctor!” he exclaimed. "How good it is to see you again! And how kind of you to fall into my little trap!" He quickly sent some reassurance over the link.

“Your...trap? asked the Doctor, defiantly. “Shall I refresh you on how many millennia it has been since you’ve successfully trapped me?” 

The Master smirked and advanced toward him. “Oh? Then I guess I shouldn’t tell you about Rose then? How long has it been since you’ve checked in on her?”

The Master had done his homework. No surprise there either, the anorak. He must be aware that Rose was currently trapped in an alternate dimension. 

 The Doctor walked forward to meet the Master, his tone becoming angrier. “What have you done with Rose?” 

The Master sent him a quick burst of glee in response to this menace. With his actual voice, the Master replied nonchalantly. “Nothing Doctor.” His smile widened. “Well...nothing yet. “

The Doctor grabbed him by his lapels. He spoke in his most dangerous tone. “Now you listen to me and listen well, Master. If you harm a hair on Rose’s head, you will understand why beings across the galaxy tremble when they hear my name. Now TELL me WHERE! SHE! IS!” 

The Master shivered. His mouth mouth gasped open and he looked briefly like he was going to lean over and kiss The Doctor.  But- no, not yet. He took a breath to collect himself and stepped back for a moment. Then he continued. “She’s on earth- at a location and time of my choosing. And she will be fine, Doctor-  as long as you do what I say.”

The Doctor glowered. “What do you want, Master?” He spat out the name contemptuously.

The Master was practically vibrating with excitement. “What I want, dear Doctor, is to do some research. See, recently I learned of a Sontarian scheme to use this” he held up a ray-gun like object “to control me. The schemers seemed unusually confident that they could use this Mind Manipulator to ensorcell me, They said they had found a way to make it work on Time Lords. So naturally” he pointed the gun at the Doctor “I want to test and see if that is true.”

This was a patently ridiculous lie- there was no way a Mind Manipulator would work on any being stronger-willed than a human. Even some humans could probably resist it. But still...

“And if I refuse?” asked the Doctor.

The Master cocked his head to the side. “Oh Doctor. There’s no option for refusal. Either you let me test it willingly OR I kill your Rose-bud and test it on you unwillingly. Your compliance would be appreciated but it certainly is not required. Besides,” he moved forward again. “Don’t you want to see if you can resist? What a brave, ongoing storm of a Timelord you are?”

Mmmm this old game. The Doctor loved this game. Of course he knew that he could resist the machine but- that didn’t mean he had to. He quickly separated his internal self into two- a part for the scene and a part observing. 

‘Fine,” he said. “Test it on me. Do your worst. I think we both know what the end result will be.” (In that instant, the Doctor and the Master mentally exchanged some very dirty mental images. The Doctor wasn’t even sure a humanoid body could do that. )

“Very well, DOCTOR” The Master snarled. He turned the machine on and directed it at the Doctor. It made a soft buzzing noise.It also had soft, circular lights kind of like a spiral. 

As expected, the Doctor felt a light tug on his thoughts. He could have dismissed it in an instant  but- that’s not why they were here. He concentrated on the sensation, trying to visualize the machine’s effects working deeper and deeper into his brain, tugging more and more. He could feel the Master deep inside as well, also pulling. He let himself lean into that sensation. 

“Yes Doctor,” laughed the Master maniacally. ”It’s not so easy to resist the Mind Manipulator, is it Doctor? I can already tell how much more difficult it is for you to try. Soon you’ll exhaust yourself and be completely under my power” He sent another wave of his influence into the part of the Doctor’s mind that was roleplaying, encouraging any succumbing sensations he found there.

The Doctor gritted his teeth. “No, I’ll never let you win!” He played a  strange mental balancing act where he both fought and gave into the Master’s power. It had been some time and he was surprised he was still so adept at this.  It was thrilling. He hadn’t found anyone who could actually control him in reality, but it was exciting to experience  those feelings even like this. It reminded him a lot of how he and Koschei used to play when they were in school.

The Master sent Doctor images of what he looked like as he was struggling, letting him feast on his own seeming helplessness. 

It worked. The Doctor delighted to find that he was succumbing more and more. He could also feel the Master pushing further into his head, relishing his own feelings of dominance and power. It was intoxicating to feel both powerless and powerful, entirely in control and taken over at the same time. He projected his growing feelings of weakness back to the Master.

Another push followed. “Oh Doctor! You must be so tired- every part of you aching to give in. Let me help you. Say ‘You are my Master, and I must obey you’ Say it and succumb!”

The Doctor whipped his head left and right, as if struggling to try and resist the beam. The heady push of the Master’s influence thrust further into his mind. He felt like he was being taken. Yes. “You are..” he felt his mouth begin. Then he rallied. “No! No you can’t control me!”

The Master widened his eyes with a hypnotic glare. The Doctor could feel him push even more. “I AM your Master and you will obey me!” 

Oh, the Doctor loved this part. “No!” he cried desperately. “No you can’t make me!” He looked down, trembling. 

“You’re so weak now Doctor. Listen again.” He grabbed the Doctor by his head, forcing him to look deep into his eyes. “I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU WILL OBEY ME. I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU..”

The Master repeated this over and over again. The Doctor felt himself starting to break (while simultaneously feeling the Master’s glee and arousal at the sight). He tried not to move his mouth but it was useless. “No! No!  No! You.....ahhh!...You....Yu...YOU ARE MY MASTER AND I WILL OBEY YOU!” 

The Master laughed triumphantly. “AGAIN! I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU WILL OBEY ME!”

The Doctor had broken, there was no resistance left. “YOU ARE MY MASTER AND I WILL OBEY YOU!” The Master sent him a wave of praise and a picture of how utterly debauched he looked. Fuck, he hadn’t even noticed his mouth was hanging open like that. 

“Again!” said the Master, lording it over him.

“You are my Master and I will obey you.” The Doctor bowed his head, humbled. 

“EXCELLENT, Doctor” said the Master. “Now KNEEL!”

The Doctor felt himself kneel. Knowing the Master’s preferences, he put his hands behind his back. He looked up again.

The Master walked around and inspected him, one hand brushing through his hair. The Doctor leaned into that hand. It felt really good to be touched in this way. 

“Now Doctor,” the Master monologued, “I haven’t really gotten to play with this body yet. It seems to have some...interesting possibilities. Tell me about it.”

The Doctor nodded obediently. “This body is very orally fixated.This body is more ticklish than previous regenerations. This body responds well to pain.”

The Master quirked his eyebrow, both bodily and with a teasing feeling in the Doctor’s own mind.

“Oh? Well then- Doctor,” he started. “Let’s see what this body can do.” He pulled out his laser screwdriver.

The Doctor felt his hearts leap in anticipation. 

It was good to have the Master back. 

(Thanks to @jukeboxemcsa, @brainbound , @undersleeper , @wellgnawed​, @pirate-king-of-trance​,  @daja-the-hypnokitten and others for the Dr Who trivia help!)

Tagging @hypno-sandwich and @zanydanger as Whovians. And apologies to the Whovians I missed! 

[totiredtowrite]

to the dad-kids request, yes- its the readers and the hq boys kid, thanks again!!

Imagine Being A Father

(Couldn't be me)

Warnings ~ like 3 curse words, but really just some ✨fluffy goodness✨

Note: I decided to do headcanons and a little fic thing. Also, I'll try with their characters. I'm not very well versed in Atsumu lol. (The characters are Atsumu, Sakusa, and Tendou). Oh and I also tried my best with the drabble part, cause for some reason my eyes just said nope and feel vv tired.

Male Reader

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Okay first off

Imagine being married to this man

Like

Just being able to wake up and share a cup of coffee in the morning when he has time (or tea or water ykyk)

Anyways

You adopted a little girl when she was around 5 years old?

(She looks nothing like y'all <3)

But this guy is like overworked and tired please give him coffee and a hug thx

And I'm gonna say he isn't too vocal about his relationship

Like his team just does not know that he's liTERALLY MARRIED AND HAS A KID

Let's just say the first few months were rough

BUT IT'S OKAY, CAUSE NOW Y'ALL R HAPPY AND HAVE A 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER

So just imagine the teams surprise when they actually find out 💀

Today was the day, as your daughter kept saying. Today, you and you daughter were going to watch your husband play for the first time in a while. Your little girl was all hyped up, jumping around and practically dragging you out of bed.

It was cute, really. The actual game? Overwhelming in the best way. She was cheering loudly from the sidelines, eyes bright and starry. Anyone who saw you knew that she was your daughter, purely because of the adoration in your eyes. You felt so proud, so big!

And when the game ended with the Jackals winning, she practically jumped three feet in the air. As people were starting to leave, you gently told her that you were "going to see daddy."

You pick her up, and make your way down the stands. Of course that doesn't last long as she worms her way out of your arms and runs towards Sakusa, barreling into his leg at full force. "Papa! You did really good! The ball was like whooosh and the other guys were–" she continued to talk about how amazing he was as you made your way over and pecked him.

"You did well out there love," you mused into his lips. He smiled softly and kissed you back, leaning down to pick up your daughter. "It was tough." He said to your daughter. She giggled, little fists digging into his jersey.

The team? In shock. Before anyone could say anything, (as Bokuto was very obviously preparing to do), Sakusa shot them a sharp glare and turned to pat his daughters head, setting her down gently. "I'll meet you at the car," he said, rolling his eyes in the teams direction. You laughed softly and nodded.

Truly, this little family of yours was a blessing.

Atsumu Miya

I know this bitch looks like the type to not want kids, but when you two met the little twin boys for the first time, he just went ✨👄✨

Loves them with all his heart honestly

Your twins r 8 btw

His first thought was "omg did he do this because I have a twin what a tool"

And then he went "omg he did this because I have a twin, I love him"

Guy is smitten for you and would burn a whole ass building down for his sons

Def brags to Osamu about it

And the team

"Sorry can't make it tonight I'm gonna spend time with mY KIDS AND HUSBAND"

He always makes sure people know my guy is PROUD

Loves to spend time just doing whatever with his boysss

Can and will make time for you

Has 100 percent missed practice for y'all before

And would do it again what a gremlin

"Daaaad!" Atsumu turned his attention away from you. One of you kids was running towards you at full speed. "Heeeeelp!" He jumped onto the couch with you and your husband.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Atsumu asks.

"He's gonna kick me because I chose the movie!"

You chuckled softly. These bundles of chaos reminded you of Atsumu and Osamu, the way they bickered back in high school. You sighed wistfully, combing your fingers through your sons hair as his twin comes running down the hallway. When he saw that his brother was in the safety of "where you parents can see you" he slowed to a walk and nervously fiddles his hands.

"Hi dad...hi papa." Atsumu raised a brow, but honestly wasn't all that shocked. Having siblings basically means "you can fight anywhere but in front of your parents." You chuckled again and poked Atsumu go get his attention.

He turned to you. "Why don't you and the boys make popcorn while I get the movie up, hm?" You said, reaching for the remote. The twins jumped and smiled, both bouncing on their toes once one got off of your lap.

"Course dear," Atsumu pressed a swift kiss to your lips and stood up. "Alright thing one, thing two," he addressed them both, "let's go make popcorn while your dad works his TV magic." He grinned at them, and followed as they ran into the kitchen excitedly.

As rowdy as your kids, (and your husband), could be, this house really did feel like home.

Tendou Satori

I think he's the most chaotic dad here

Because he works with chocolate in the timeskip, he definitely brings some home to your kid when you sPECIFICALLY SAY NOT TO

Such a tool I love him

You adopted a boy btw

Your son is like 11 years old now

At first you didn't know about adopting an older kid, but you admit it was the BEST DECISION EVER

Y'all r cute

Like going out and having little family days

Best believe if your kid has any trouble at school Ten will ACT UP

And no I don't mean beating up little kids

Loves you both so much it literally hurts

You'll like come home from work and see Tendou and your kid in the living room just covered in paint

Which as I think about it is a really good prompt so I'm gonna write that hehe

Today was tiring, you decided. Work had been absolute hell, as your boss decided that you were capable enough to handle twice the amount of work as usual. Your hands ached from typing and writing all day long, your eyes were tired from looking at screens and papers all day long, and honestly the only thing you wanted was a break from all the words.

Which is why it was a suprise when you opened the door to your apartment and your husband was sitting in the living room with your son, both covered in paint. They were talking and painting random things messily. You were just thankful that Satori had the sense to lay newspapers down beforehand, because paint was everywhere.

You didn't say a word as you closed the door, slipped off your shoes, dropped your bag and hobbled forward to collapse on the couch. "Hi dad!" Your son says loudly. "Dad #2 said that you were gonna be late today, so we ordered takeout! He says it's on the way now!"

"That's great kid," you said sleepily. It was just like your son to inform you about the most crucial current detail going on, but he hadn't said anything about the paint yet.

Tendou grinned at you, little dried green and blue splatters of paint on his face offsetting his red hair. "We wanted to make you something!" He said proudly. He then gestured at you son. "This little guy did most of the work honestly."

You tilted your head. Make you something? That was new. Your son nods. "Dad #2 said that you got more work and was gonna be late, so I wanted to make to a picture!" He holds up a rather well done cartoonish dog. Satori held up his own paper, which was a hastily painted house and trees.

You sighed, a tired smile taking over your face. They were dorks, but they were your dorks.

[foxyninjabear]

HermitCraft Headcanons: Creeper Anatomy and Biology (Part 2!)

*slams this post on the table and gives you crazy eyes* I'M BACK WITH MORE

Anyway, rabidness aside, welcome everyone! Some of you might already know, but awhile ago I made a post for creepers and their anatomy (linked here). And today, my fellow peeps, I've decided to build onto my original post with more headcanons! But before we start, I want to say something that I feel is important;

I AM NOT A SCIENTIST.

I'm not qualified in any stretch of the imagination to confirm that these headcanons are 100% accurate. Please keep that in mind when you read this. I'm not a professional at all; I'm literally just a big HermitCraft nerd that will go on Internet splurges to quench my thirst for knowledge xD

Anyway, announcement over! Put on your labcoats and grab those calculators and clipboards, people, cuz we're about to dive into some nerdy friggin science! And feel absolutely free to debate about these or add onto them! I'd love to see people get involved with this kind of thing! :D Also, if you have any questions about these headcanons, or have any ideas for future headcanons to dive into, leave me an ask! :)

___________________________________

They still have the potential to explode

Although they cannot do it voluntary, like their monstrous ancestors, creepers still have the ability to detonate. They still have gunpowder in their bodies, but the amount is much less than what it used to be in hostile creepers (let's say about 10% of what it originally was, to keep it simple). I know there's not exactly any evidence proving that but just trust me, I'm going somewhere with this. Get your hands off of that keyboard! xD 

Anyway, lemme tell you what I'm getting at. I bet a lot of you are familiar with what appendicitis is, but for people who don't know, here's the gist; appendicitis is when your appendix (an organ in the human body that's pretty much useless... nobody really knows what it does lol) becomes infected and inflamed, and if not given immediate medical attention, can possibly burst and become life-threatening. So, if there were an organ in a hostile creeper's body that stores gunpowder for self-detonation, that organ could carry onto the non-threatening generations (and possibly become smaller, due to its lack of use). If it were to become infected, inflamed, or receive some sort of trauma, it could possibly ignite all of the gunpowder and cause an explosion powerful enough to kill the creeper it resides in.

They shed their skin

All creatures with scales shed (or molt) their skin and scales periodically. I stated in my last post that creepers most likely have scales (due to their ability to conduct electricity [Like being struck by lightning]; if they had fur or humanlike skin, they'd most likely combust and explode... and nobody wants that to happen to them lol xD), so it would only be logical to have creepers shed their skin every now and then (I also got inspired by this one post by @goopyshell , so check them out! [btw, if you're reading this, I LOVE your Python design. Best snek boi!]). Lizards molt about 2 to 4 times a year, give or take some key factors (such as how much they're growing), but since that's a baseline, we're going to stick with that for simplicity's sake as to how often a full grown creeper would shed their scales. It'd also most likely come off in patches, instead of the whole skin at once, due to creepers having humanoid figures.

They see colors much differently than humans

Since creepers are very reptile like, especially with their scales, it would make sense that they have many other reptilian characteristics, including their vision. In my last post, I mentioned creepers having night vision due to their nocturnal ancestors, but then after I saw this awesome drawing by @bedrock-to-buildheight with how different Hermits see things, I decided to do some digging into how a reptile actually sees the world. Turns out in addition to having night vision, many of those scaly little critters have the ability to see not just the entire visible spectrum of light that a human can see, but also ultraviolet light (a wavelength of light that a human CAN'T see) due to a special type of cone photoreceptor in their eyes (just so you're not confused, a 'cone' is a type of photoreceptor [aka: light detector] in an eye that detects color). As a result, a creeper could (theoretically) be able to see a MUCH wider range of colors than a human can.

They're much shorter than humans

I've seen lots of designs of humanoid creepers (*cough* PYTHON IS A GREMLIN *cough cough*), and quite a few of have them being quite short. So I thought that I'd explore around the Minecraft Wiki a bit to see if there was anything to support that. And wouldn't you know it, there is! According to the game files, creepers are 1.7 blocks tall (or 1.7 meters, since 1 block in the game is equal to 1 cubic meter) compared to a player, who is 1.8 blocks tall. 

Now, at first I thought that I was done, but then I realized that it wouldn't exactly make sense for every single human to be the same height, as well as creepers. Cuz if that were the case, how could we have a tall German cyborg or a smol ice queen in HermitCraft fandom lore and headcanons? xD So did two things; 1, I decided to have the creeper/player height be a ratio (in other words, I'll have the average height of creepers be about 95% of the average height of humans, since 1.7 meters [a creeper's height in the game] divided by 1.8 meters [a player's in-game height] would equal that percent. Maths people xD). And 2, I dove back into the depths of the Interbubs and did tons of research on human height, and eventually found the global average for male and female heights. For humans, males average out at about 171 centimeters tall (a little over 5 feet 7 inches), and females 159.5 centimeters (almost 5 feet 3 inches). If we apply our 95% to those numbers, we can get our average creeper heights! And those numbers calculate to have males be about 161.5 centimeters tall (about 5 feet 4 inches), and females at 150.6 centimeters (4 feet 11 inches).

[kane-and-griffin]

Hey! So I know that you're the most famous person of the kabby fandom (and I love you btw) so there's something I need to tell you. I've seen a lot of people from the kabby fandom (which I am a part of it) getting mad whenever someone on twitter doesn't like Kane or Abby, saying that it's because they are ageist which I think is really annoying (like they start going off on them almost every time ) 1/2

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if they don’t like a character it’s not necessarily bc they’re ageist. I think that this is the reason a lot of people don’t like us so (if you agree with me ofc) could you maybe pass the word? I love you btw you’re an amazing person and your ff are the best 😘 2/2             

Okay.  So.  

There’s a lot to unpack here.

I have a lot of thoughts, some of which may notbe the thoughts you were hoping that I would have.  I do want to thank you for your very sweet words, but I also want to address a few things about this askI find extremely frustrating, not with the intent of making you feel bad butbecause I think there are some big conversations here worth having in a broadercontext.

First and foremost, and this is something most ofyou have heard me reiterate many times, I am a strong advocate of peopleaddressing their problems with each other directly.  If you saw someone on Twitter accuse someoneof being ageist and you disagree, that’s fair to say!  Social media is a free and open exchange ofideas.  Also, if you’re a member of theKabby fandom, and you witness another member of the Kabby fandom engaging inbad internet behavior, call them out!  It’salways better for communities to go collect their own people when they crossthe line rather than expecting others to do it. If your fellow fan tweets something mean, call it out.  We all need to do our part to shut that stuffdown and make the fandom a better place. But the right forum for that is to bring it up with the person whoactually said or did the thing you’re upset about, and not to bring it to acompletely unrelated party.

Which brings me to my second point: I’m extremelyuncomfortable being addressed as though I speak for the entirety of the Kabbyfandom.  I don’t.  No one person does.  Fandoms are communities made of individualpeople who have shared interests, but there’s no hierarchy. I don’t want to bethe Bad Fandom Behavior Police. This is especially frustrating when I getasks where one member of the fandom comes to Kabby Mom about something anothermember of the fandom did … especially when it’s something I wasn’t part ofand didn’t witness.  

And that, my dear Anon, is the big problem that I’mhaving with this request.  I don’t haveany idea what incident you’re referring to, what was said, by whom, to whom, orwhat the context was.  You’re asking meto agree with you that somebody was out of line, and that, quote, “that’s whypeople don’t like us.”  But I can’t grantthat premise without knowing what you’re talking about.  

(Also, by the way, I would urge you to let go ofspending too much time caring about whether other fandoms like us.  I can assure you, most of them honestly probablyaren’t thinking about us that much.)  

If I understand the situation correctly, and ifwe’re referring to a real incident and not a hypothetical, you’re saying that PersonA tweeted something negative about Kabby and Person B said “that’s ageist.”  You, Anon, believe that Person A was not being ageist, that Person B overreacted,and that B is the one whose behavior is the problem.  And that’s certainly one possibility.  But the other possibility is that maybePerson A was being ageist but neither Person A nor you have recognizedit.

And I cannot make that determination for you,because you haven’t told me anything concrete, and I wasn’t there.

I am also a thirty-six-year-old woman in a fandomfull of teenagers and if you are not thirty-six then it is entirely possiblethat you and I are seeing the concept of ageism from two very different andincompatible points of view in the first place.

That being said, if you want my opinion, here is my opinion.

First, there really is no excuse for being a jerk onthe internet, no matter what you disagree about.  There will always be people who love thingsyou hate and hate things you love and ship things you find incomprehensible andreject headcanons you treat as gospel, because we all fandom in our ownways.  So if you’re asking me, shouldKabby shippers get a pass on being jerks to non-Kabby shippers just because I,personally, ship Kabby, my answer to that is, “of course not, that is insane.”  Disagreement and discussion are always okay;Twitter is a public forum, and if someone voices an opinion, you get to haveyour own opinion about it.  But being ajerk is never okay.  

In general, I am a strong proponent of stayingin your lane. I’m a pretty ruthless curator of my Twitter and Tumblr feeds, soI don’t follow anyone who talks shit about Kane or Abby (I have a one-strikeblock policy with this), and I recommend this approach to everyone.  Make your social media feed your happy place.

Now, there are lots of people in the fandom who don’tlike, or simply don’t care for, Kane and/or Abby.  There are probably plenty of reasons forthis, and not, not every single one of these reasons is inherently ageist. HOWEVER!The fact that you did not see the comment in question as being ageist does not actually mean it was not ageistor that the person who called them out was wrong for doing so.  

Ageism is hardwired into the very fabric of oursociety – like misogny and heterosexism and racism – and just like with thoseother -isms, most of the time when we serenely think that we are guiltless ofit, we are lying to ourselves. And that goes for internalized prejudices,too.  This stuff is ingrained in us from birth. In general, the sameway I am inherently suspicious of white people saying “I AM ZERO PERCENTRACIST” and men saying “I AM THE MOST FEMINIST MAN TO EVER MAN”, I tend to takewith a grain of salt the words of people much younger than me talking about ageism in this fandom because I actually see it a lot.

And fam, we need to talk about the differencebetween fandom discourse about Abby and fandom discourse about Kane.

Now, your mileage may vary, but I will say thatin my personal experience, when I stumble upon someone who does like Abby but doesn’t likeKane, I agree that it frequently has its roots in reasons which are notinherently, automatically ageist.  Ittends to be rooted rather clearly in plot. More often than not, they’re still tripping up over something he did in aprevious season that they can’t get past. (We should probably save the conversation about our fandom’s selectiveforgiveness problem for another time.)  Theycan’t get past the Culling, or arresting/shocklashing/attempting to float Abby,or being too hard on Bellamy, or losing the election to Pike by choosing toally with the Grounders, or floating Aurora or Jake, or just in general being amega-dick in the pilot.  And that’sfine!  I mean I feel like you’re missingout by giving his four-season character development arc short shrift andignoring the way all the terrible things he’s done in the past shaped him intoa better person once he confronted them, but whatever!  The point is that, you’re right, thatreasoning is not, in and of itself, inherently ageist.  That’s not to say that there aren’t any fanswho straight-up just don’t like him because they think old guys are boring, forthe most part, when I see people dislike Kane, it’s a reaction to something that he did.

But we actually do need to talk about ageism andAbby in this fandom.  Because it is a big fucking problem. 

The problem with ageism and Abby is that moreoften than not, from what I’ve seen, when people dislike Abby, it’s a reactionto who and what she is.  It is absolutely impossible to separate itfrom internalized misogyny and the way older women are systematically devaluedby our culture in ways that sometimes we can’t even see as ageist, because they’rejust hardwired into us. 

Sure, every once in awhile you get an easy one,and someone whines on Twitter about “gross old person sex,” and then you canpoint to it very clearly, and nobody will dispute that we’re talking aboutageism here.  But it’s often so muchmurkier than that.  Ageism can look likea lot of different things, many of which you’ll believe are completelyunrelated.

Ageism can look like fans who show up in thecomments of the writers’ room Twitter and Instagram when they post pictures ofthe adults to say “nobody cares about them, post [whoever I personally stan themost] instead.”

Ageism can look like gifset after gifset featuring “leading ladies of The 100″ where they include Fox and Maya and Charlotte, but not Abby (who has second billing in the cast after Clarke).

Ageism can look like a blanket refusal, under inany situation where Clarke and Abby are at odds, to grant that Abby might havea point, even when the narrative is clearlytelling us that Clarke is the character at fault. The tendency within thisfandom for young girls who closely identify with Clarke to graft their own momfrustrations onto Abby is virtually never-ending, and it can be hard to sift throughthe the complex intersection of ageism and misogyny that makes it impossiblefor them not to see mothers as human beings who are interesting, who are wise,who are right, who know things their children do not, who are sexual, who areallowed to make mistakes, who deserve screen time and plot agency, who are justas vital to the story as the teenagers.

Ageism can look like giving Clarke sole creditfor establishing peace with the Grounders through Lexa, when in fact it wasKane who made the first contact with her and got her to offer the treaty in thefirst place, and it was Abby turning Lincoln from a Reaper back into himselfagain that cemented the alliance.

Ageism can look like shutting down Kabby shippersgleefully enjoying headcanons about bunker baby theory because Abby is “too oldto have a baby” – a misconception that has permeated so deeply into our culturethat we have all internalized the belief that no woman is supposed to have ababy over the age of 35 as though it is inarguable scientific fact, even thoughit may interest you to know thatis a myth.  (“What? How did I notknow that that was a myth?” BECAUSE OUR ENTIRE SOCIETY IS AGEIST TOWARDS WOMENAND THE STUDY THAT GAVE US 35 AS THE MAGIC STOP NUMBER IS FROM LIKE THE 1700’S,THAT’S HOW FEW FUCKS THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY GIVES ABOUT UP-TO-DATE RESEARCH ON THEHEALTH OF OLDER WOMEN)

Ageism can look like a fan who ships all thenon-canon ships … except Doctor Mechanic, because it’s “gross” and “Abby isbasically her mom.”  The inherentdesexualization of age-difference relationships is often rooted in ageism.  You don’t have to ship it!  But if you insist that no one should ship it, then there may be some ageism in the rootsof your ship-shaming.

My point here, dear Anon, is that if you arelooking for someone to tell you, “you’re right, Kabby shippers overreact aboutageism in this fandom,” you are barking up the wrong tree, because from where Istand, as a woman far closer to Abby’s age than Clarke’s, I’m going to venturethat we don’t talk about ageism enough.  And like many -isms in our society, if itdoesn’t appear to you to be that big a problem, that may be because it doesn’tapply to you.  (Yet.)

Now, to be clear – before someone sends me anangry rebuttal to this – not in a million years am I saying that it makes you inherently ageist if you don’t shipKabby.  Just like it doesn’t make you inherentlyhomophobic if you don’t like Lexa or inherently racist if you don’t like Bellamy or inherentlymisogynist if you don’t like Clarke.  Butall squares are rectangles, even if not all rectangles are squares.  By which I mean that, contained within thegroup of people who don’t ship Kabby, there is a lot of ageism, just as,contained within the group of people who hate Bellamy, there’s a lot ofproblematic racial shit, and it means we need to have a clearer understandingof where those lines are so that we recognize the ugly stuff when it shows upon our timeline and call it out when we see it.