#10/10 would recommend meeting your online friend if many years irl

[synfl0w3r]

So my dog tried to kill a chicken that got into the yard and now she's living in my room for a bit (she is very cute and soft)

My sisters immediately dubbed her Cluckers TwT

[nanamicide]

ur not being annoying at all! gimme some : 🎁 💕 🌻 📗 💭 💡 📚 🤖 💛 💌 🎨 (dont have to do them all, just do the ones you wanna!)

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

This needs to be heavily edited but this is from a sukufushi fic I've been veryyyy slowly working on:

Sukuna's heart stops as he catches sight of the person so delicately playing this score. 

It's hardly even been a second since he's laid his eyes on him, but every cell in his body is already starving for more of him. 

Sukuna swallows thickly, carefully taking in the scene unfolding before him. Long, coordinated fingers dance across the piano, hitting the keys with a grace Sukuna would have never imagined to be humanly possible. The pianist’s body moves to the rhythm of the [adjective] tune, dark strands of hair gently swaying across his forehead as [something more movement]. 

Their gazes finally meet, and Sukuna knows he's done for. His heart loudly thumps against his ribcage, threatening to burst through as green eyes further capture him into the moment they're sharing, driving him deeper into the shadows the pianist is painting with the [adjective] sound of his music. Sukuna feels as though he's lost in a sea of darkness, the glint in the pianist’s eyes [something akin to a lighthouse making him feel safe]. He lets the [adjective] chords (of the score? Of the music? Of the piece? Idk) crash against him like tidal waves, making him drift further from the shore.

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

That's a difficult one, but probably sweetest blossoms, which I wrote for my friend Asa. I'm usually not into historical AUs but she requested one, and I surprisingly had a lot of fun writing it and look back on the process pretty fondly.

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

Never tbh (unless proofreading to edit counts). If I read my own fics I would probably end up deleting them out of self doubt so I just let them sit there on ao3 for people to enjoy lmao

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Not really, unless non-fiction books or articles about my professional field count.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

It's mostly the media I consume that inspires me, whether it's music or anime/manga I'm watching/reading. Sometimes I'm also inspired by some stuff that happens to me irl or situations I'm in (there's a particular wip I'm working on that comes to mind when I say this, and if you end up reading it and know enough about me you'll probably catch it whenever I post that, lol).

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

10 that I know for sure I'm not gonna end up scrapping. More if you count the ones that are on the fence, but I don't wanna go there 🤪

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

For Barakamon, I recommend ahknee (@misocucumber) always, especially this fic.

Other fics that have really stuck with me are run the red out by saltwreath for inuokko, the proper care of lilacs by teasomnia for sukufushi, anything by ietjesiobhan for haikyuu. And there was this one fake dating kuroken fic that I read a while ago, in which Kuroo and Kenma broke up years ago but never told anyone and get invited to kagehina's wedding and decide to pretend they're still dating for the occasion, but I can't remember the author or title and I don't have time to look for it rn, but that one stuck with me for a long time.

There are so many I'd like to recommend, I should really start coming up with rec lists.

🤖 Are non-fandom friends aware that you write fanfic?

Only my partner and a handful of online friends (i met them in anime circles i guess they could count as fandom friends as well, but they're not into it like that so idk)

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

That it doesn't need to be perfect on the first try, and that a draft is just that—a draft. You can always come back to edit it later and improve the things you don't like; that doesn't make you a bad writer or untalented, everyone does that.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Mutual pining with 2 idiots who think the other would never be into them

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I honestly don't have a preference, if someone were to make fanart of my work I'd be eternally grateful regardless of the fic or scene the artist would pick!

[thatsneakymedic]

Hey, I am a big fan of your blog. I saw in your tags that you feel shy about interacting with mutuals. I'm here to tell you compliments and my heart's content. Vani, I love the way you write Kabuto. When you roleplay, he's so clever, and sweet, and dangerously razor-sharp. Your headcanons are powerful and your meme technique and icon jutsu is one of the best on my dash. I write with many people. There are a hundred Uchihas and many geniuses around and Orochimaru wants to collect them all, but Kabuto can never be replaced. Consequently, he (and I) could never imagine teaming up with any Kabuto but yours. If you ever feel shy, send Kabuto to come hide under Orochimaru's white sleeve or in his quarters. There is plenty of room for a hardworking and underappreciated Vani with the biggest heart, because you make the place brighter for being there. You're being responsible and caring to irl people and EVERYONE IS fricken BLESSED TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO INTERACT WITH YOU, online and offline! Legendary kabu + good fren, 10/10 would definitely team up with to run a criminal network and hidden ninja village with and to have sleepovers with. Big Recommend.

@uchihacollector

// I'm so sorry for not answering this sooner! I had so much to say about this but I couldn't do it on mobile and I wanted to write this with my full attention when I'm not exhausted these days. So to make up for it, here's a terrible edit of mine of our muses. And Kabuto's feelings towards your muse too. :'D

This message came just in time when I was feeling shy about interacting with my friends here. I am not really the "constant need of daily attention" kind of person nor will I ever expect such a thing from people and I also respect when my friends are busy. But a lot of the times I do feel like I rather not want to interrupt or annoy you all.

I also find it sometimes challenging that while I do write Kabuto as close to his canon personality as much as I could, I notice that I do often lean towards the canon divergent or a teeeeny bit of ooc at some times. But I am so happy to know that you love my muse as best as I can roleplay him. And your Orochimaru is someone that everyone needs to see and meet while also following your own rules and such.

But Lady, seeing you back here and being active again and having your Orochimaru terrorizing everyone is always the best thing to see on my dash and it makes Kabuto feel so proud that things won't get boring around here. Though I am sorry for not sending you much asks despite that I am glad that you're here since it was both out of shyness and because since i'm busy offline, it also leaves me emotionally exhausted that I need some "me time". Also it's due to my bad experience in the past with another roleplayer (that was also an Orochimaru) that has left me still feeling sad despite it being years since it happened.

It was also so awesome of you to send me another message with this and I am going to keep it in my inbox for safe keeping, and perhaps I will also be doing this for other messages too.

Lady, you're the best for going out of your way to send me this and I'm glad to know that you and I are good friends and our friendship is still good throughout the years.

Go follow this Orochimaru everyone! They're the best of the best and also a very high recommendation from me to you!

Thank you Lady for this, You're the best!

[snkpositivityweek]

Announcing SNK Positivity Week 2019

On September 9, 2019, Attack on Titan will turn 10 years old. To commemorate this milestone, we’d like to celebrate each other and the story we love with our SNK Positivity Week event.  We are delighted to announce this year’s prompts!  

ALL WEEK - ANON LOVE (SEPT 9-15)

For SNK Positivity Week 2019, Anon Love is going to be a week-long prompt! For the entirety of the event, we encourage you to interact and send positive energy to others in the SnK fandom via comments, reblogs, and messages, but mostly to show your support by sending anon love to the amazing blogs in our community.

DAY 1 - CHARACTER POSITIVITY DAY (SEPT 9)

All of SNK’s characters have a special place in our hearts, so it’s the moment to show them some love! Focus on your fav, or maybe branch out to give another member of your top 10 some attention. You can talk about their perfect character designs, their complicated morals, or personality through long posts, fan arts, fanfictions, edits, in any medium you choose. It’s also the perfect occasion to shine some light on characters that you may have disliked at first, but gradually learned to love as the seasons and chapters went by. Was it a special character arc? A content creator? Or a special scene that made you grow fond of this character? And remember to send anon love while celebrating those characters!

DAY 2 - FAVORITE SNK MOMENTS (SEPT 10)

The manga and anime have given us many unforgettable moments. What is yours? Share your explanation of why it was special to you and how it made you feel. Did your gut twist during this epic and badass battle? Were you in tears because of this special and emotional moment between characters and their fate? Did the soundtrack or art make you adore it even more? Alternatively, feel free to write your favorite character or ship moment. You can also share this moment with a special person on this site through anon love!

DAY 3 - HEROISM IN SNK (SEPT 11)

SNK is well known for its epic battles and badass characters. But under all of this, we’ve seen how truly human characters react differently when facing their gruesome fate. Thus, it’s the perfect time to honor the heroism we witnessed in SNK. Highlight, praise, and talk about some of the numerous good deeds we were exposed to. Debate their meaning, share your opinion and reactions through your posts. Include pictures, redraws, clips, gifs and whatever made you live those tense moments. As an alternative, are there people in our fandom you consider heroes?  This would be a great day to let them know with some anon love.

DAY 4 - SHIP POSITIVITY DAY (SEPT 12)

This day is dedicated to creating content that revolves around your OTP, rare-pair or your favorite platonic relationship in SNK! It’s all about sharing what makes you “feel the feels” while showing your hidden talents. It’s another excellent opportunity to reach out to your favorite artists, writers, bloggers, and editors by sending them anon love, replies and comments. Let’s all love and celebrate the ships and the wonderful content creators.

DAY 5 - SELF POSITIVITY DAY (SEPT 13)

We’ve all seen how this series addresses important subjects and characters with emotional and psychological issues that moved us. This day will be about the relationship between you and SNK, how it benefited and positively affected you as a person. Maybe SNK helped you meet people IRL and online, or made you confident, creative, happy. Maybe it helped you fight titans of your own. So share the positive experiences you’ve had thanks to the series. Don’t forget to reach out to content creators and tumblr friends with anon messages!

DAY 6 - LOVE YOUR FANDOM DAY (SEPT 14)

There’s a lot of talent and hard work in the SNK fandom, so we will honor the fandom’s content creators on this day. You can praise them through comments, reblogs, anon love, positive feedback, and energy! Feel free to reach out to bloggers you look up to and admire and send them love. You can also recommend anything from fan content posts you cherish or the creators in the fandom themselves. This would also be a great time to publish a follow forever that includes the people who’ve made your fandom experience special. Share the love when you see your favorite fan-content.

DAY 7 -  “AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER” (SEPT 15)

Even if SNK breaks our hearts, the series we all are fond of is coming to an end one way or another. But as time passes our imagination tries to make up a “perfect happy ending” where characters finally get the peace they deserve. Be it a ship finally getting closure, all the characters dying of nothing else but old age, the end of war and violence, let the fandom know your ideal ending through metas, posts, fanfics, fan art and edits.  

So get ready to share your love for the series. Don’t forget that our main message is to send positivity and appreciation for people in the fandom! 

Be sure to tag your posts with #snkpositivityweek so we’re sure to see them!

[aroacepagans]

The Aro Guide to Creating In-Person Community

Alright y’all, so only a month and a half after this post and I finally have some information to give you about one of the aro activism topics I suggested.

In-person groups are something that every community needs before it can do more on the ground activism, and creating in-person spaces is something I actually have some experience with so that’s where I’d like to start. This information is intended to be general, so you can apply it to creating a larger communal aro space, or to creating a smaller space for an aro subcommunity. Please also note that this is certainly not the *only* way to create an in-person space, every organization does things differently. This is just supposed to give basic and overarching information about how an in-person can be run, using the knowledge I’ve gained from working with several long-lasting LGBTQIA+ and religious groups.

Creating in-person community doesn’t have to take a lot of resources, but it can be hard to maintain. With this in mind, I would like to split this post into 4 parts: Creating a community, maintaining community, general advice, and the benefits of putting in the work. Let’s get started!

 Creating a community:

In order to create in-person community you need five things:

1. Space - You will always need a place to meet but take a deep breath, this isn’t the challenge you think it is. Many people get stuck on this, thinking that they’ll need to spend a lot of money to rent a space, but public parks, coffee shops, and free library meeting rooms (which, just fyi usually need to be reserved ahead of time) are all perfectly fine places to start a group.

2. Leadership- If you start a new group then you and anyone else you may have started it with, will probably become that groups leadership by default. If you’re the one setting up all the meetings then that makes you the person in charge whether you like it or not and this steers a lot of people away from starting new organizations. And I get that, most of us grow up with very intimidating ideas of what a ‘leader’ looks like and as a result, feel that’s leadership is too much responsibility to take on. But if we want in-person aro groups someones gotta do it, so as someone who has been running my church youth group for 3 years now, I’m here to tell you that my job is 90% herding cats and 10% arts and crafts. That’s it. As long as you know how to make lists, use craft scissors, and keep a schedule you’re perfectly qualified to be the person in charge, don’t let the idea of leadership intimidate you out of trying to start an in-person aro group.

3. Time - Especially when you’re first starting out creating a new group can take a lot of time and energy. So make a schedule, take as long as you need to, and if possible, split the work with other people. Putting everything together as quickly and with as little effort as possible is not the way to build an effective community, so go slow if need be, there’s no shame in that.

4. An online presence - Every modern organization needs an online presence. This can mean anything from making a Facebook group to creating a whole new website, but whatever you do, you will need a centralized online space where people can consistently find information about your events. If you’re not someone with a lot of web design skills then I recommend using Facebook, or, if you have the money for it, Meetup (Note: Meetup does tend to bring more people to an event than Facebook does, but I know many people have tight budgets, so like don’t worry too much if you can’t afford it. I know a lot of groups that do all their event organizing on Facebook and still have great attendance).

5. An Activity- Especially when a community is new, activities are often needed to get people talking to each other. Facilitated group discussions are, IMO, the easiest way to do this, but anything that gets people to talk with each other can work.  

Once you have all this the final step is to promote your group. And I mean actually promote it, don’t just make one post about it on your favorite social media site. Leave flyers in coffee shops, post about it on relevant Facebook groups, contact local queer groups and see if they’ll promote it, post about it on neighborhood blogs and bulletin boards. Don’t half-ass this part, aro’s are few and far between and you will need to be loud about your group's existence if you want people to find you.    

Maintaining Community:

Creating a community is one thing, but maintaining it is another and this is, arguably, the more challenging part of the process. Lots of new organizations never make it past their first few months of existence, but that’s not what we want for the aro community. So here’s are the things that,  in my opinion, are most necessary to keep a group going.

1. Persistence - There is a very good chance that the first few meet up’s you arrange will have low or no attendance. New groups are like that, and I know it’s discouraging, but don’t give up. Keep promoting and keep showing up, and then be prepared for no one else to be there. This may sound like an exercise in futility, but I promise it’s not. This summer my church youth group tried to set up a program for teen and young adult Pagans. It took four months for anyone outside of our youth groups to actually show up, but we kept meeting despite that, and now, eight months in, we have relatively high attendance. So bring a book, bring some other work that needs to get done, and if no one shows up do that instead. If you’re doing a good job of promoting your events someone will show up eventually.  

2. Have Help- Burn out is real, and trying to run everything yourself is the fastest way to fail, so figure out who can help you run things. Ideally, of course, the people helping you will be other aro’s, but many of us don’t have any irl aro friends so figure out your other options. You’re out to your sister and she’s really good at social media promotion? See if she'll help you get the word out about events. Your friend just really fricking loves graphic design? See if they’ll help you with posters, web design, informational pages, or other similar design needs. As your community grows other aros may be able to take over these tasks, but you will need help from the getgo, so make sure you have at least one or two people to share the work with.   

3. Have Community Guidelines- Humans! Are! Messy! And everyone has different ideas about what behaviors are and aren’t acceptable. A good way to prevent these differences from creating issues is to have a set of community guidelines. Put them up on your facebook/website/other social media so people can see them, or better yet, go over them at the beginning of each meeting, this will make sure that everyone knows your group's code of conduct. I suggest involving other community members in the creation of these guidelines so that everyone is happy with them.

4. Consistency- This isn’t necessary, but it is helpful. If you can make sure your group meets at the same time or in the same place every meeting it can help people fit your group into their schedule. That said, this isn’t always something that can be managed, so don’t be hard on yourself if it isn't possible. Consistency is an ideal, not a requirement.

5. Stay out of Drama- Drama can break up even the most stable communities, so while it’s sometimes unavoidable you should try to stay away from it (especially if you’re leadership). Play well with other queer organizations, and if possible, try to have community members that can act as mediators within the group. I’ve seen more communities then I can count break up because a few people couldn’t get along, don’t let the same thing happen to yours.

General Advice:

Make something you would want to go to

When first starting a group, make it something that you would be excited to participate in. What you want is likely to be what others want too, and if you’re doing something that you already love it will be a lot more bearable if other people don’t show up the first few times.

Look at other groups

If you’re still anxious about starting a group, take some time and go to some other small meet up groups first. See what they do, and if you’re comfortable, talk to the organizers about how they run things. It’s easier to get started when you can see that other people have done the same thing.

Money, money, money

Use free spaces, websites, and other materials as much as possible. Once an organization starts needing money just to exist funding will become the top priority no matter what other issues are going on. If you just love finances maybe this will work for you, but I think most of us get stressed out when money becomes an issue. Sometimes these things are unavoidable, but if you can organize your community without spending too much it will let you focus on other things.

 The Benefits of Putting in the Work:

Running an organization, especially as a volunteer, can often feel like a thankless job, but try and remember how much good it does. Community building can help you understand others better, it allows people to create necessary social networks, and most importantly, people with in-person communities can organize larger political action. Not everyone has the time or energy to start an aromatic group in their area, and that’s perfectly understandable, as we’ve seen it can be a lot of work. But if you can start a group, and you want to start a group, then your organization can do a lot of good

Here are some more resources on organizing communities, clubs, and meetups, that, while not aro specific, might still give you some ideas. Hopefully some of them will be helpful for y’all!

(x) (x) (x)

[dxmedstudent]

Heya hope you’re doing well! For the end of year asks, 1 and 24?

I’m doing OK! I keep forgetting to post this, or adding onto it. But I don’t want it to be lost whenever my browser next crashes. So, let’s post this!@meanwhileonwednesday also asked me to answer them all, so I’m gonna combine both.

1) what did you learn about yourself this year?

I learned a lot about myself. I underwent some careers counselling, which has been an itneresting ride, and given me lots of tools to reflect on what I want out of work. It’s hard, because I realised that I (and probably all of us) tolerate so many working conditions that I don’t inherently like or flourish under. I like to take my time on one problem at a time; in medicine you’re being constantly interrupted by like 10 different people who then remind you multiple times about the thing you were doing til someone else interrupted you, and constantly re-jigging your to-do list to accommodate changes in urgency. I realised I like to make people feel better even more than I like to ‘fix’ things. I realised that the reality of what work in a busy hospital is like completely colours my perception of specialties; I can’t unsee the kinds of shifts I’ve had to work. It gave me a lot of food for thought, and I hope it helps me pick something I’m happy with. And having started dating again towards the end of the year, I’ve had to think a lot about who I really am, and what I really want or need. It’s not easy shining an honest light on yourself; what you realise isn’t always flattering (I don’t often spend enough time doing non-work related things, and I’m too much of an introvert for most people, probably). But this allows you to be honest about what would make you happy; for example, I’d hever chase some guy who loves to go clubbing on a regular basis, because we’d be spending every evening apart.

2) best moment of the year?

I don’t know. There were lots of litle modest ‘best moments’, but I’m not sure I can thing of any one big thing.

3) worst moment of the year?

Burnout Time wasn’t a moment, but it wasn’t a good time in general. I’m going to vote it number 1. Though it has some stiff competition. I’ll stick to just one, because nobody wants to read a long list of sad things.

4) what was the biggest change you experienced this year?

I realised that I wouldn’t let training and medicine destroy me. Not that I planned to before, but there’s a lot of fear and anxiety at every stage of the game in medicine. You spend med school anxious in case they kick you out. You spend foundation training anxious in case you kill someone or they kick you out. Then you finish that part of your training, and start the next and its... more of the same? And when you struggle and feel bad, so often your first thought isn’t “I feel horrible, this is bad for me and I need help” but “as long as I am functional at work, then it’s OK as long as they don’t kick me out”. But that doesn’t help you get better, it only piles more pressure on you when you need help. It turns out that I discovered they don’t kick you out of training as easily as my darkest thoughts imagined.  But it made me realise I could never let this job destroy me; there is so much to live for and enjoy outside of medicine. There are so many other ways to be happy.

5) best song of the year?

Aah I’ve listened to so many songs over the course of a year, how could you pick one. I’d blatantly favour the ones I obsessed over most recently. Hmm. I listened to Vitali’s Chaconne on a loop when revising, so let’s go with that. 

6) best album of the year?

I rarely listen to entire albums, because I tend to discover songs randomly and individually. But I loved that my friend and I discovered we both loved Indila’s music really randomly.

7) what’s one thing that happened this year that you want to change?

Towards the end of the year, I had to take a break from making and posting comics. Between burnout and work things, I just didn’t have the time, energy or inspiration to give it what it needed. I hope to get back into it this year; I really miss making my comic.

8) best book/book series of the year?

I’m gonna vote Good Omens. I know people joke about something curing their depression. But yeah, it sort of did with me. It made me see the light at a difficult time, and despite all the stress and sadness and numbness I was going through, it made me laugh and feel joy and appreciate what words could do again. It rekindled a light that had burned very low, and I’m forever grateful for that; it holds a special place in my heart now.

9) best television series?

Hard for me to pick one. I’m watching The Dragon Prince right now, and it’s great! Reminds me of ATLA in the best ways. Honourable mention to Cells at Work for combining three of my interests (medicine, anime and cute things) into one.

10) how was your love life this year?

I actually bothered to try to have one! Only toward the end of the year, though, so we’re on baby steps right now. I’ve talked to and met a few interesting people, even ones that I couldn’t pursue anything further with. I’ve also read like a million really bad profiles, had  way too many half-assed messages and conversations.

I hate the initial bit, where you should try to be yourself and need to be open and vulnerable to really getting to know people, but equally people can just drop out of talking with you or dating you just like that. It’s something much easier to do when you meet online and don’t know each other than when you meet at uni, and I certainly seem to see it a lot more now in online dating than meeting people IRL. Where you get dumped or dump someone but you at least have s a sense of completion. I don’t like how easily the mind wanders over to ‘damn it, he’s ghosted me’ If someone doesn’t reply for a few days, but then again, the fact that lots of people do just ghost doesn’t help that.Still, I remind myself that there’s no use worrying about it; if someone will dump you or isn’t right for you, then there’s nothing you can do to change it.

There are some nice people out there, and I’m interested to see where it goes. Hopefully without too much anxiety, preoccupation or heartbreak on the way; that was one part of dating that I absolutely did not miss in my single carefree years.

11) what made you cry the most this year?

I find it hard to quantify what made me cry the most; I had a lot of tough times. 

Actually, no, on second thought, I think I know what made me cry the most; PMS. Hands-down the winner. What a menace; it’s a real pain. Would not recommend PMS as an experience to those of you unfamiliar with it.

12) biggest regret of the year?

I try not to look back and regret things. I don’t want to say I regret burning out, because frankly that isn’t a choice I made, so I don’t feel bad about it. It’s unfortunate that it’s made my life a bit more complicated, but it’s manageable. So I try not to dwell on that or regret it.

I feel sad that I put my comic on hiatus, because I managed to balance it through so many tough times, so pausing kind of felt like admitting defeat, or losing a part of myself. But it needed to be done.

13) best movie of the year?

It’s late and I actually can’t even remember which movies I saw this year. I think I saw Mary and the Witch’s Flower in this past year, so I’m going to go with that. Because I’m really excited to see where Studio Ponoc takes things, and if they will carry on a Ghibli-ish legacy or do something new.

14) favourite place you travelled this year?

I went to Poland, twice. It was great! I’m slowly trying to get around all the European capitals, and it’s really nice to learn more about the places you go. I never feel like I’ve seen everything there is to see, which I guess is motivation to come back another time...

15) did you make any new friends?

Always. Yep, the benefit of moving to new jobs on a regular basis means that you get to meet new people, a lot. I’ve seen one of my FY1s develop into a great SHO and become a good friend. I’m so proud of them.

And hey, always making new friends here! I love our community, and whilst I can’t remember exactly when I befriended most of you (or got befriended), I am truly glad that I have.

16) did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

Yep, I don’t think you ever stop learning. I’m looking forward to always finding out more. I don’t feel the need to share it, though :P Some things are better left private.

17) what are some hobbies that you developed?

Most of my hobbies are the same as they always were. However, I feel that I have played a lot of new board games, I continued to D&D without being an utter disaster, and now feel uh, sort of actually competent at this sort of thing.  And I have collected some awesome dice.

18)what surprised you the most this year?

We’re still doing this Brexit thing. I don’t know; I’m not sure politics can surprise me much anymore. It’s still free to disappoint, though. Actually, a few patients survived who I didn’t expect. And some people died suddenly that we didn’t expect to pass at that point. So medicine is always surprising.

19) do you look different from the beginning of the year?

I have more grey hair. Like a LOT. My hair evidently plans to go silver way before I would have expected to. At this rate, I won’t make it to 40 with any brown hair left! My hair is almost waist length so it hasn’t changed all that much apart from the fact that it really wants me to cosplay white haired anime characters.

20) how did this year treat you in general?

People died. People got sick. People in my personal life, not patients, that is. It’s harder to deal with it when it’s not at work; when it’s people you know and care about.  My parents had multiple procedures or surgeries. I sort of burned out at one point and vaguely considered if the path I am on is for me. I did a bit of soul-searching to try to work out what I really want, and what I really need. I’m still not sure I understand, but I’m getting closer.

21) what message would you give yourself at the beginning of the year?

You’ll live. It’s OK, it’ll work out, and you’ll get through it, like you always do.

22) has your fashion style changed this year?

Not really. I have too many clothes (mostly for work, if I’m honest) so I didn’t buy many this year. I definitely need to sell or give away some of the ones that just aren’t ‘me’ any more, though. I sometimes hold on to clothes for a long time, but in the end when it doesn’t feel right dressing like I did say, 10 years ago, then I feel the need to revamp my wardrobe.

23) one of the best meals you’ve had this year?

My mum randomly started making my favourite food more often, and I’m really happy! I keep asking her if there’s some kind of ulterior motive XD

24) who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

Hmmm it’s really tough to think of any one particular person. Some of the stronger experiences with people were negative, but I refuse to dwell on them or name them; to single them out gives them a power and importance they don’t deserve. So instead I’d just have to say my network of friends and family, for keeping me going’ they have done a lot for me this year. Lots of little and big things that make me feel so loved and cared for. 

25) what’s one thing that you hope will continue next year?

I will keep trying to do my best, and keep trying to look at the bigger picture. I’ll keep working on not letting medicine take over my life. I’ll keep trying to be a better doctor. I’ll keep making time for friends and family. I’ll keep trying my best to meet new people, and not let the times it didn’t work out get me down.

[sxhuns]

85 questions

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

tagged by @baekofbeyond​ love u boo <3

last 1. drink: im writing this on my way to school lol so my last drink was a glass of water right before i left 2. phone call: pretty sure it was my dad like two days ago and it was a facebook phone call but the last phone call i actually had was my brother five days ago lmao 3. text message: i never really text so my last message in general was probably mercy before i fell asleep last night 4. song i listened to: im already listening to music so my current song is only you by ikon (its a bop) 5. time you cried: idk like yesterday? im super sensitive so i cry pretty easliy lol

ever 6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah and thank god for that!

fave colours 12. pastel blue 13. pastel pink 14. idk what else but as you can tell, i really like pastels lol

in the last year have you... 15. made new friends: yes of course! 16. fallen out of love: the last year? no 17.  laughed until you cried: constantly 18. found out someone was talking about you: not that i can remember 19. met someone who changed you: i feel like youre always bound to change in one way or another when you meet someone 20. found out who your friends are: i havent really had any dramatic change of friends in the past year so no not really 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: none

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: idk most them i guess? 23. do you have any pets: no 24. do you want to change your name: not really? i mean i use another name online but i wouldnt really change my real name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my closest friends and i went out to eat some pizza and it was super nice! after that i went home and had a lot of sweets lol 26. what time did you wake up today: 11am, i have late classes today so thats a relief! 27. what did you do last night: i dont remember but it was probably twitter or talking to mercy 28. what is something you cant wait for: nothing in particular, probably for my classes to start and end lol 30. what are you listening to right now: blooming day by cbx 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uh ive talked to a few ppl named thomas does that count 32. something that gets on my nerves: when the bus just stops mid road and WAIT LIKE 3 MINUTES BEFORE DRIVING AGAIN 33. most visited website: probably tumblr 34. hair colour: its brown but it gets lighter the further down you go in a wannabe ombre effect lol 35. long or short hair: its somewhere in between 36. do you have a crush on someone: not really 37. what do you like about yourself: close to nothing tbh 38. want any piercings: it would be fun to have other piercings, but im not sure i will 39. blood type: from what i know im blood type B 40. nicknames: people call me wals sometimes 41. relationship status: single 42. zodiac sign: a very predictable cancer lol 43. pronouns: she/her 44. favourite tv-show: i dont really watch tv shows 45. tattoos: i dont have any but it would be come to have some in the future! 46. right or left handed: right, i really cant use my left for SHIT 47. ever had surgery: idk maybe? 48. piercings: ears but i never use earrings so it probably gonna grow shut at some point 49. sport: i used to play handball back in the day 50. vacation: ive never really been on a real vacation out of the country before so it would be nice to travel somewhere with my closest friends! i dont really have a preference where tbh 51. trainers: what does this mean lol

more general 52. eating: i had a slice bread with rasberry jam before i felt for school and i havet had anything else since then 53. drinking: i stopped answering these while i was in class so im on my way now so the last thing i drank was mocha iced coffee at uni lmao 54. im about to watch: idk maybe some youtube videos before i start studying 55. waiting for: i would say something sentimental and shit but mercy saying exo really made me realize that im also waitng for exos comeback ujgthgghu 56. want: something to eat im starving 57. get married: maybe one day? it would be nice. not anytime soon tho 58. career: thats a touchy subject jugtghgh long story short i have no fucking clue

which is better 59. hugs or kisses: hugs for sure 60. lips or eyes: im a sucker for pretty eyes 61. shorter or taller: ideally someone taller but honestly i dont care 62. older or younger: again, ideally someone older but doesnt really matter 63. nice arms or stomach: people who knows me know my feelings for nice arms but soft tummies are also good :( 64. hookup or relationship: relationship 65. troublemaker or hestitant: hesitant for sure

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger: no 67. tasted hard liqour: yea. dont recommend 68. lost glasses: constantly 69. turned someone down: yea 70. had sec on the first date: no 71. broken someones heart: i hope not 72. heartbroken: not necessarily no 73. been arrested: no lol 74. cried when someone died: yes 75. fallen for a friend: yea

do you believe in 76. yourself: as of now, no i dont 77. miracles: yeah 78. love at first sight: sure 79. santa claus: i mean i did when i a kid 80. kiss on the first date: by all means 81. angels: sure

other 82. best friends: cam and mercy<333 83. eye colour: brown 84. fave movie: i dont really have one 85. fave actor: again, i dont really have one

i dont have anyone to tag but if you wanna do this, go ahead!

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

I'm turning 26 next week and still haven't been in a relationship. I've always focussed on my studies and work and am currently towards the end of my PhD which left me with almost no time for relationships. I feel like I am too late to the game. I've tried online dating recently and met a couple guys but didn't click. A couple guys ghosted me too. What can I do to find a good relationship? I am pretty outgoing and involved in lots of college clubs too but still haven't met anyone. Please help!

It’s hard to really diagnose the problem here, just because it doesn’t seem you know the exact reason for your issue is either. So I think that this is a good time for some soul-searching. We need to try to figure out what the heart of this dateless spell really is so we can move past it. 

You mention that you’ve always focused on your studies and work, and that’s good! It’ll benefit you very long into your life. The most obvious problem is that you’re likely very career-focused, as you admit yourself. You dump all your time into the important shit, but neglect the romantic shit on the backend, and now it’s coming to bite you in the butt. This isn’t a bad thing, because a PhD is way more important than some silly romantic flings. 

Another thing to mention is that although you feel like you’re late to the party, you’re not. You’re only 26. You have literally your whole life ahead of you, and although most people (at least in western countries) tend to have lots of raucous, rabid sex in their youthful 20s, that doesn’t mean having intelligent, capable, mature sex in your 30s is going to be bad. Hell, you’re arguably arriving to the party JUST ON TIME. While everyone else was blowing through romantic partners left and right, and having life-ending relationships every few months, you’re entering the dating pool right around the time when the majority of the dating pool is looking to buckle down and get serious about something long-term. 

The tricky part about diagnosing your problem is, because of the way you describe yourself, it sounds like you’d easily meet people. What I can say first off is that online dating, as great as it can be, can also be a total crapshoot. There are no guarantees with finding good partners there. Hell, it’s awesome you met anyone at all! Ghosting is also common nowadays, so don’t get yourself down. This is normal behaviour. You can’t expect every first date to be fantastic, and if you’re actually looking for a quality relationship, it’s better that these minor dates fizzle out and are lame; if they weren’t what you were looking for, good, you can immediately move on. If someone ghosts you, same deal. They clearly don’t give a shit about talking to you or have other things to do, so you can calmly move on with your own life. It can be disheartening to meet a nice person and then be ghosted, yeah. But honestly, imagine how many people who would like to ask you out on the daily while you walk around campus who just don’t; you can’t be mad at a missed connection, because there was nothing there to begin with. 

Another thing to remember: you have to assume that of the people you see/engage with online dating, you can only assume this is about 5% of the dateable population. Let’s be generous and say it’s 10%; that still means 9/10 people you could be dating right now are probably not online. And this is assuming big enough statistics as 5% - 10%. I live in a metropolis that has around 6,603,870 people in the general area. That means the dateable people online in my area are 330,193. I don’t really want to date a guy right now, so let’s cut that figure in half, meaning my actual pool of dateable candidates is 165,096. 

That’s still a lot of people. But how many of those people won’t like me because of my appearance, or my age, or my hobbies/interests? Vice versa, how many of them will I instantly be turned off by for any number of reasons? If we assume I don’t like half of the people I see online - which let’s be honest, I probably am more picky than that - even at 50% that leaves me with a dateable population of 82,548. And that doesn’t factor in people who don’t like me, so that number could imaginably be in the 40k or 20k range, especially when you factor in I’m a extremely progressive person deep in a conservative state. And we should also factor in age. I’m not interested in dating anyone under 18, so that cuts out a lot of people, but I also don’t want to date anyone over 35, so that cuts out even more. 

See how all the various factors we have limit us so greatly? If you’re really on the prowl online, it means you’re going to be necessity cast a small net, and you’re diving into a very big ocean where other people are probably casting small nets. The fact that you caught any fish is the surprising truth. 

____________

How to fix these odds? 

First, BIGGER NETS. Open up your options. What age ranges are acceptable to you? Two years older and younger? Four years? Six? We don’t want to date anyone illegally, obvious, but if age is not a super important factor for you, it can be a very artificial limiter for you. Keep in mind, if your age settings on a site like tinder aren’t broad, it means you literally WILL NOT SEE ANYONE  - potentially awesome people - just based on their age alone. Including people who swipe right on you. 

Next, MORE NETS! Why use Tinder when you can use Tinder, OKCupid, and any other amazing apps that exist for online dating?! There are tons, and those two are my favourites that I consistently recommend. Do your research, find the ones that suit your style, and be active on all of them. The more places you’re active, the more bodies of water you’re fishing in for a potential good catch. 

Finally, BE BOLD. You seem like an extroverted person. Put yourself in social situations where you’re likely to encounter single people. Go to parties or other club gatherings and meet people you don’t know. Remember, 5-10% are online, meaning 95-90% are IRL somewhere out there. Ask your friends if they know any cute people who are single, and if they would be willing to connect you two. Or try out speed dating events that might be in your area. 

As an extra final note, remember that your place of residence has a lot to do with the amount of singles in your area. Remember, I live in a city of 6mil. If you live in a town of 20k, the math drops precipitously on your prospects. Consider online dating if that’s the case! 

[shaizstern]

Article from WSJ: For Kids, Free Time Equals Screen Time—So Parents Fight Back

In the digital age, a backlash against unstructured play has families making lists of 100 things to do offline

To keep kids from turning to screens when they’re bored, experts are advising parents to make lists of real-world activities, such as making slime, having water fights and riding bikes. PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES (6)

By Julie Jargon

Children whining about being bored is an annoyance as old as time, but fewer parents these days are willing to push the kids out the door and yell, “Come back at dinner time!” The new parenting advice: Structure your child’s unstructured time.

It’s a backlash against the advice that started bubbling up a decade ago to let children have unfettered downtime.

The idea then was that boredom is a good thing, that it fosters in kids imaginative ways to fill the time. But that was before phones and “Fortnite” became ubiquitous. We all know now that when left to their own devices kids will, well, turn to their devices.

“Downtime has become synonymous with technology. I certainly don’t believe in overscheduling kids with activities. What I’m advocating for is a different kind of scheduling,” said Elyssa Ackerman, a clinical social worker in New York. “Schedule boredom but give kids ideas for what they can do with their boredom.”

Melanie Hempe learned the hard way what happens to kids who fill their downtime with technology when her oldest son, now 27, was a teenager.

“The big thing then was ‘Don’t overschedule your kids,’ so what we did was we let them have too much unstructured time. We were like, ‘Well I guess it’s okay that he dropped out of baseball and piano.’ In our case, he ended up loving videogames more than anything,” said Ms. Hempe.

After struggling to get her son to stop gaming so much, she founded Families Managing Media, an organization to help others in the same predicament.

“I like to tell parents that by not structuring their kids’ downtime, the structure for them becomes a screen,” she said.

A popular idea that’s spreading among digital media-experts now is to make a list of 100 things kids can do IRL (that is, “in real life”), then post it in a prominent place. When kids say they’re bored, parents can point to it. This system is more effective for the 12-and-under set but can also work for teens.

Lisa Honold, an online-safety advocate, recently began sharing the list she developed with her three children, who range in age from 10 to 15. Among the ideas: bake homemade bread, make slime and collect items from neighbors for a canned-food drive. She encourages parents to tailor the list to their children’s preferences and to enlist them in the process.

Ms. Honold admits the list invokes some eye-rolling among her older two but that it works. It also helps stave off her irritation when the kids complain they’re bored. “Anytime parents can pre-plan, we’re a step ahead.”

When Regina Janicik struggled to get her 16-year-old daughter off her phone, she turned to Ms. Ackerman, who advised her to limit her teen’s screen time, create more structure around everything from bedtime to curfew and develop a list of offline things to do.

Dr. Janicik, an internist in New York, said her daughter suffered from anxiety, which was exacerbated by monitoring her Instagram account. “She had 1,200 Instagram followers and she felt like she needed to constantly check what her friends were doing and not miss things,” she said.

Her 12-year-old daughter didn’t have as much trouble with social media—she tends to binge-watch television shows—but Dr. Janicik instituted the same rules for both.

“There was a week this summer when neither had camp, and before we left in the morning we said, ‘You need to have an activity in the morning and one in the afternoon,’” she said. There were consequences for not carrying through, such as having to do extra chores.

“It’s hard with teens. You have to not make it all about them. We’re all struggling with this,” said Dr. Janicik, who said she and her husband also now track their phone usage and openly discuss screen-free activities they want to do. “It’s a family value that we’re not all going to be dependent on our phones.”

She said her older daughter is doing much better now and is busy most of the day working as a camp counselor.

The idea of structuring downtime led one entrepreneur to open a play space designed specifically to give children and adults offline time. Sarah Robinson, a mom of two in New York, would take her now 3-year-old son to play gyms and notice that all the parents were on their phones while the children were playing. The former marketing executive decided to create a phone-free playspace for kids where adults can play along or have uninterrupted conversations with other adults.

She opened The Wonder, which requires an annual membership, in New York’s Tribeca neighborhood, in May. While there is a workspace where adults can plug in to get work done, phones aren’t allowed in the play area.

Sarah Robinson created The Wonder, a New York play space where phones aren’t allowed. PHOTO:ANDREW BOYLE

Some parents are finding that structuring downtime is just as important for them as it is for their children.

Rebecca Orlov, a single mom and marketing executive in Las Vegas, said she was filling so many idle moments scrolling through her phone—she would even check Facebook in her car while stopped at red lights—that her 5-year-old daughter, Sophie, would tell her to put her phone down. She said Sophie was often acting up, trying to get her attention.

“I was like, ‘I have to change my behavior,’” she said.

While attending a trade show last year she saw a company that made plastic containers to lock phones in and thought that was a sad commentary on life in the digital age. Then she decided to copy it, using a basket. She began bringing out the basket after dinner and putting her phone in it. Her daughter places her Amazon Fire tablet in it, too. For 30 minutes to an hour, they focus on making crafts or playing outside.

“I’ve seen a huge change in us together,” Ms. Orlov said. “It’s made a big difference in our relationship.”

How to Help Your Kids Unplug

Schedule a family meeting. Gather everyone and make your list of 100 things to do without screens. When children are young, it’s easier for parents to structure their time, but as they get older, Ms. Ackerman said, it’s important to give them a say. “If your kid says, ‘I really want to play ‘Fortnite,’ put it on the agenda,” she said. “Asking them how they want to spend their time helps them start to figure out their balancing act and how to prioritize. It’s a segue for them to be able to do that with a teacher or employer.”

Come up with a plan. Take a look at all of the things that need to be done in a day—homework, activities, chores—and tally up how much downtime your child has after all the necessities. If there are three free hours, divide them up in a way everyone can agree on. Maybe it’s one hour of screen time and two for doing activities from the list. The plan and the items on the list don’t have to be rigid—they can evolve over time as your kids’ needs change.

Establish a bedtime routine. When we hear “bedtime routine,” we tend to think of babies. But teens and even adults benefit from them, too. Sleep experts recommend avoiding screen time one to two hours before bed, depending on the kid’s age and their ability to settle down. Hadley Seward, a pediatric sleep consultant in New York, said getting teens to read before bed can be hard, because they tend to associate reading with schoolwork; so she suggests having them listen to audio books, podcasts or guided meditations. Adult coloring books are also a great way for older kids to unwind, she said.

[starboybellamy]

i was tagged by @chancellor-blake thanks love ♥♥

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people i’m lazy af we’re all aware

i tag: you if you are reading this right now

the last:

1. drink: coffee

2. phone call: alex called me last night to let me know he was on his way home

3. text message: my mom texted me about my wedding

4. song you listened to: i’m so sick -- flyleaf

5. time you cried: last week. let’s not talk about it

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: yes 0/10 do not recommend

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yeah of course, everyone makes mistakes okay leave me alone

8. been cheated on: so i could technically say ‘yes’ here, but we were both in the 9th grade and i don’t think that really counts..

9. lost someone special: like every other person on the planet, yes.

10. been depressed: yeppppp 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ... listen don’t call me out like this

3 favorite colors:

12. gray

13. black

14. millennial pink like the basic bitch i am

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: i’m assuming online friends count

16. fallen out of love: with ships and shows

17. laughed until you cried: yes

18. found out someone was talking about you: negatively? yeah

19. met someone who changed you: lol no

20. found out who your friends are: well idk if you’d call them friends, but people that i was talking to quite often turned out to be kinda shitty so..

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: i’m friends with alex on facebook

general:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

23. do you have any pets: i have my pup casey

24. do you want to change your name: when i was little i wanted to change my name to brooke (mainly because my best friend’s middle name was brooke and she tried to go by that for a while and i wanted to match. i was 6) also i’m changing my last name very soon

25. what did you do for your last birthday: rented a cabin in the smoky mountains and drank heavily

26. what time did you wake up: 0530

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping, a bitch has got to work

28. name something you can’t wait for: for my boss to get out of her fucking meeting so we can go to ulta

31. what are you listening to right now: i’m watching a bella fiori video on the unsolved murder of the grimes sisters

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah my aunt dated a guy named tom for several years

33. something that is getting on your nerves: this fucking headache that won’t go away

34. most visited website: a couple of months ago i would have said tumblr, but right now it’s probably youtube

35. hair colour: currently it’s brown but it’s naturally blonde

36. long or short hair: long af. it’s almost to my ass

39. piercings: i have several in my ears and my bellybutton done

40. blood type: B positive

41. nicknames: jess is a nickname

42. relationship status: engaged

43. zodiac: capricorn

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: the 100 (collective gasp)

46. tattoos: right now i only have one but i have plans for 3 more

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: an appendectomy and wisdom teeth extraction

49. piercing: see 39

50. sport: ...i haven’t been to kickboxing in a minute... but i was also a cheerleader in high school if you want to go back that far

51. vacation: going to playa del carmen in a couple months. i also went to tennessee in january 

52. pair of trainers: idk what this is asking... like what my favorite shoes are? idk.

more general:

53. eating: i’m picky af

54. drinking: coffee. please all the coffee

55. i’m about to: go to ulta if people would quit talking in this meeting

56. waiting for: the weekend. only 5 more hours to go.

57. want: to buy a house

58. get married: in 2 months

59. career: ideally i want to be a boujee housewife... but i’m a nuclear chemist

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs for me, kisses for my fictional obsessions

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms are where it’s at

65. hook up or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: no

68. drank hard liquor: do you know who i am?

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i’ve lost sunglasses. but i don’t have any vision correctives 

70. turned someone down: of course

71. sex on the first date: nope. i made them work for it

72. broken someone’s heart: unfortunately yeah

73. had your heart broken: yes

74. been arrested: no, but it’s actually on my bucket list

75. cried when someone died: yes of course

76. fallen for a friend: alex and i were friends before we started dating so yeah, i would say so

do you believe in:

77. yourself: fuck yeah bitch, watch me

78. miracles: i think there’s implausible things that happen but i think there’s always a scientific explanation, even if we don’t know what it is

79. love at first sight: lol no

80. santa claus: wait... there are people that don’t believe in santa??

81. kiss on the first date: yeah, why waste your time if he’s a bad kisser?

82. angels: i’d like some proof

other:

83. current best friend’s name: irl bestie is morgan, online bestie (another collective gasp) @bellesolo

84. eye colour: green

85. favourite movie: is it weird if i say i don’t have one? i have a lot of movies that i love but it depends on my mood

[bizmediaweb]

The History of Social Media: 29+ Key Moments

Here, we’ve compiled some of the most pivotal “moments” in social media’s history. From the very first social networking site (invented in the 1990s), to recent changes to networks with billions of users.

So sit back, relax, and join us while we look back at what once was the future.

The 29 most important moments in the history of social media

1. The first social media site is born (1997)

On one of the first true social media sites, SixDegrees.com, you could set up a profile page, create lists of connections, and send messages within networks.

The site amassed around one million users before it was bought out for $125 million …and shuttered in 2000, though it later made a modest comeback and still subsists today.

2. Are you? Hot or Not (2000)

Who can forget Hot or Not ( AmIHotorNot.com )—the site that invited users to submit photos of themselves so others could rate their attractiveness. The site is rumored to have influenced the creators of Facebook and YouTube—and nurtured millions of insecurities.

After being sold off a few times, its new owners tried to revive it as a “game” in 2014.

3. Friendster (2002)

Then along came everyone’s BFF: Friendster.

Launched in 2002, Friendster was originally going to be a dating site that would help set up people with friends in common. You could create a profile, include “status updates” and reveal your mood. Messaging “friends of friends of friends” was also a thing.

Unfortunately, the site’s spike in popularity in 2003 caught the company by surprise and took a toll on its servers, impacting users, who increasingly looked to connect elsewhere.

4. Myspace: “a place for friends” (2003)

In droves, frustrated Friendsters said “sorry it’s not me, it’s you” and pulled up stakes for Myspace , the Friendster rival that quickly became the go-to site for millions of hip teens. Its customizable public profiles (which often featured music, videos and badly shot, half-nude selfies) were visible to anyone, and were a welcome contrast to Friendster’s private profiles which were available only to registered users.

2005 marked the apex of Myspace. The site had 25 million users and was the fifth popular site in the United States when it sold to NewsCorp that year. And that was the start of its decline from ultra-trendy to ultra-tacky.

5. Gaining traction (2003-2005)

In 2003, Mark Zuckerberg launched Facemash, described as Harvard University’s answer to Hot or Not. “The Facebook” followed in 2004. Registering its one millionth user that same year, the site dropped the “the” to became just “Facebook” in 2005, after the “Facebook.com” domain was purchased for $200,000.

Around the same time, a tidal wave of other social media sites swept ashore:

LinkedIn emerged, targeting the business community. Photosharing sites like Photobucket and Flickr, social bookmarking site del.ici.ous and the now ubiquitous blogging platform, WordPress also came into existence.

YouTube also launched in 2005. Anyone remember “Me at the zoo”—the very first YouTube video of that man and the weirdly watchable elephants? It now has 56 million views.

News-aggregator-cum-snark factory, Reddit arrived that year too.

6. Twitter hatches (2006)

Despite its 2004 birth date, 2006 was arguably the year Facebook truly took flight: it opened registration to everyone and went from an exclusive Harvard-only club to a global network.

Twttr, the site that eventually became known as Twitter also took flight in 2006.

The first tweet ever, posted by co-founder @Jack Dorsey on March 21, 2006, read: “just setting up my twttr.” So glad they changed the name, because “twttr” scks!

Dorsey originally envisioned twttr as a text message-based tool for sending updates between friends. Apparently in the early stages of its development the twttr team racked up some steep SMS bills. TechCrunch reported twttr’s first users were sending breaking life updates like: “Cleaning my apartment” and “Hungry”. (My, how times have(n’t) changed!)

7. LinkedIn “in the Black” (2006)

In sharp contrast to other networks, LinkedIn—once known as “Myspace for adults”—was the first to offer users paid premium packages. Its Jobs and Subscriptions area, the site’s first premium business line, helped bring in revenue in the early days.

In 2006, just three years post-launch (and three years before Facebook!), LinkedIn turned a profit for the first time.

“As far as we’re concerned, a year of profitability is but a ‘taste’ of the success we aspire to achieve at LinkedIn,” said social media manager Mario Sundar, in a blog post lauding LinkedIn’s first year “in the black.”

The site’s profitability would be a recurring theme in the stampede towards IPO—both LinkedIn, and numerous copycats.

8. YouTube makes partners (2007)

Through YouTube’s elephantine beginnings, buzz grew: it gathered nearly eight million daily views between its May 2005 beta its official launch in December 2005. Then, things escalated quickly: ahead of its acquisition by Google in the fall of 2006, the site grew to 100 million videos being watched by 20 million dedicated users.

In May 2007, YouTube introduced its partnership program, which has been key for the site. The initiative is what it sounds like: a partnership between YouTube and its popular content creators. YouTube provides the platform and creators provide the content. Profits from advertising on creators’ channels are then shared between the two parties. And that’s how Lonelygirl15 and your favorite YouTubers got their start.

9. Tumblr and the age of the microblog (2007)

In 2007 the social network described as “Twitter meets YouTube and WordPress” came a-tumblin’ along. 17-year-old David Karp launched Tumblr from his bedroom in his mother’s New York apartment. The site allowed users to curate pictures, videos and text and “reblog” their friends on their “tumblelogs.”

Soon after, the term micro-blogging became widely used to describe both Twitter and Tumblr, which both allowed users to “exchange small elements of content such as short sentences, individual images, or video links.”

10. The hashtag arrives (2007)

The strict 140-character limit for tweets set Twitter apart from rivals, including Facebook and Tumblr. But Twitter’s significance in the digital age was really defined by the hashtag, a symbol that has helped political organizers and average citizens mobilize, promote, and create awareness for critical (and not so critical) social issues.

Hashtags have also helped plant the seeds that sprouted movements such as #Occupy, #BlackLivesMatter, and #MeToo.

Also, timesucks like #SundayFunday, #YOLO and #Susanalbumparty.

As the story goes, during the summer of 2007, one of Twitter’s early adopters, Chris Messina, proposed the hashtag (inspired from his early days on internet relay chats) for organizing tweets. It wasn’t until a couple of months later, that the #SanDiegoFire hashtag was sparked to aggregate tweets and updates about the California wildfires.

Still, Twitter didn’t fully embrace the hashtag until 2009, realizing that it was more than just a useful way to group content, but a unique vernacular for expressing ideas and emotions online too. It invigorated the platform, and brought new users.

11. Welcome Weibo (2009)

While we’re on the topic of micro-blogging, we would be remiss not to mention China’s Sina Weibo, or simply Weibo. A Facebook and Twitter hybrid, the site launched in 2009—the same year Facebook and Twitter were banned in the country. Along with Qzone and QQ, Weibo remains one of the most popular social networks in China, with 340 million active monthly users.

12. Back to the land with FarmVille (2009)

Back over on the other side of the ocean, 2009 was the year your mom, granddad and Aunt Jenny joined Facebook and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stop inviting you to join the new family pastime, FarmVille. Like you didn’t have enough chores to do IRL, wiling the day away on virtual animal husbandry added to the list.

The addictive social game eventually made TIME magazine’s list of the world’s worst inventions. (Of course, that didn’t stop Zynga from creating spinoffs like PetVille, FishVille and FarmVille 2 among others. PassVille.)

13. When your FourSquare “check in” ousted your FarmVille update (2009)

2009 also showed users how to acquire important-sounding-yet-meaningless titles from their daily travels. Location-based app Foursquare was one of the first that allowed users to “check in,” while sharing recommendations all about their favourite neighbourhoods and cities with friends and family …and earn virtual mayorships while they were at it.

14. Grindr revolutionizes the hookup (2009)

Tinder comes to mind as the app that changed online dating culture when it appeared in 2012. But Grindr, on the scene in 2009, was the first geosocial networking app for dating geared towards gay and bisexual men, helping them meet other men nearby. For better or worse, it revolutionized hookup culture for gay men, and paved the way for many others like Scruff, Jack’d, Hornet, Chappy, and Growlr (for bears).

15. Unicode adopts the emoji (2010)

There can be little doubt that digital culture changed in 1999 when the emoji first appeared on Japanese mobile photos, thanks to Shigetaka Kurita. Their popularity quickly ???? (uh, took off).

By the mid-2000s, emoji started appearing internationally on Apple and Google platforms.

Realizing writing online without access to a thumbs up emoji was nearly impossible, Unicode adopted the emoji in 2010. The move was the beginning of emojis being legitimized as a language. So essential was the “Face with Tears” (a.k.a. the laugh-cry emoji) that it was actually adopted as a word by the Oxford Dictionary in 2015.

And each country has their own favorite: for Americans it’s skulls, Canadians love the smiling pile of poo (WTF, Canada?), and for the French? Of course it’s the heart.

16. Introducing Instagram (2010)

Can you remember the pre-filter days of photo-sharing—back when there wasn’t the option to add the Gingham filter to make everything look “vintage”?

We have Instagram’s founders to thank for our inability to go a day without posting a filtered pic with polaroid corners to our highly curated feeds. On July 16, 2010, one of the first Instagram photos to be published by co-founder Mike Krieger (@mikeyk) was an uncaptioned, heavily filtered shot of a marina.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mike Krieger (@mikeyk) on Jul 16, 2010 at 10:26am PDT

The shot definitely set the tone for the billion users around the globe the today post upwards of 95 million shots a day (according to 2016 figures).

17. Pinterest has us pining to pin (2010)

Though it first went live in closed beta in 2010, it wasn’t until 2011 that “pinning” would become a favourite new hobby (and verb) for domestic gods and goddesses. Social bookmarking site Pinterest was once called “digital crack for women” and gave women’s lifestyle magazines and blogs a new raison d’etre.

A 2012 report about the site found that home, arts and crafts, and fashion were the most popular categories on Pinterest. That’s still true in 2018.

Recent stats show two million people post pins every day, and there are one billion pins living on the site!

18. #Jan25 Tahrir Square uprising (2011)

Jan. 25, 2011 was a fateful day for hundreds of thousands of Egyptians who took to the streets, gathering in Cairo’s Tahrir Square to protest 30 years of dictatorship under Hosni Mubarak. The uprising eventually forced Mubarak to step down—just as similar protests had ousted Tunisian dictator Zine El Abidine Ben Ali days earlier.

Similar actions, which came collectively to be known as the “Arab Spring,” swept countries across the Middle East and North Africa, and were credited with bringing down governments and bringing about positive change for local populations. Reports found that social media networks were critical tools for organizers in mobilizing, publicizing and shaping opinion.

Popular hashtags on Twitter (#Egypt, #Jan25, #Libya, #Bahrain and #protest) were tweeted millions of times during the first three months of 2011. Facebook usage grew across the region, doubling in some countries.

Government attempts to block access to Facebook and Twitter were briefly successful, but quickly spurred activists to find other creative ways to organize, inspiring onlookers the world over.

19. Snapchat’s disappearing act (2011)

Launching almost exactly a year after Instagram, soon-to-be rival “Picaboo” launched …and then quickly rebranded to Snapchat following a lawsuit by a photobook company with the same name. (Probably for the best.)

The app’s early success tapped into the ephemeral nature of life’s moments, allowing users to post content that would vanish after 24 hours. (Not to mention giving us all the ability to puke rainbows.)

The disappearing snaps appealed to the teen demographic the app first attracted. Snapchat was also the perfect alternative for teens to find their friends—and flee family on Facebook.

20. Google Plus wants in on the party (2011)

2011 was also the year Google attempted to roll out another answer to Facebook and Twitter—following previous failed attempts like Google Buzz and Orkut. Google+ or Google Plus began with an invitation-only system in 2011. That summer, new users got access to 150 invitations they could send out before the site’s official opening in September. Demand was so high that Google eventually had to suspend them.

Google Plus differentiated itself from Facebook with its “circles” for organizing friends and acquaintances that could be done easily without having to send a friend request.

By the end of 2011, Google Plus was fully integrated into related services like Gmail and Google Hangout. Unfortunately, timing of the social network’s launch following Facebook and Twitter meant that the social network struggled to accrue the staggering usage numbers its competitors had. (Clearly there are some parties you just don’t want to be late to.)

21. Facebook celebrates one billion (2012)

Just eight years after launching in Mark Zuckerberg’s Harvard dorm room, Facebook announced its user base had reached a significant milestone—and now shared a population nearly the size of India.

“If you’re reading this: thank you for giving me and my little team the honor of serving you. Helping a billion people connect is amazing, humbling and by far the thing I am most proud of in my life,” Zuckerberg said.

Looking back, now that Facebook has two billion users and three other billion-user platforms—WhatsApp, Messenger, and Instagram—his quote sounds all the more quaint.

22. Year of the selfie (2014)

Twitter proclaimed 2014 as the “Year of the Selfie” following Ellen DeGeneres’s Oscar photo. You know the one. Or, you should. Because that selfie has been retweeted more than three million times—setting a Twitter record and winning Twitter’s award for “Golden tweet” of the year.

If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014

The debate about who invented the selfie has yet to be resolved. Paris Hilton said she did in 2006. Others say it was actually a guy named Robert Cornelius in 1839. (He wasn’t available for comment.)

23. Meerkat, Periscope: the streaming wars begin (2015)

Meerkat was the first app to start the live streaming craze (RIP). Then, Twitter developed Periscope and won the first streaming wars (there’s another one coming, I’m sure).

Periscope became everyone’s favorite, easy-to-use app for streaming and watching live events. Getting showered with “hearts” anytime you hit the record button was pretty much all the incentive anyone needed to try it out. It was so popular that Apple awarded the app the iOS app of the year in 2015.

Three years on, the video app is rumoured to be struggling. But it’s also integrated with the Twitter mobile app, so there are still ways to become a Periscope celeb.

24. Facebook LIVE (2016)

Facebook was slow to slide into the live stream game, first rolling out live streaming features on its platform in 2016. But the company has worked to ensure its success in the space with extra resources and partnerships with mainstream media like Buzzfeed, the Guardian and the New York Times.

Special attention from Zuckerberg and its massive user base have also ensured its dominance.

25. Instagram launches Stories (2016)

Taking a page from Snapchat’s playbook, Instagram introduced “Stories” allowing users to post photo and video sequences that disappear within 24 hours (although they can now be saved and archived). Filters, stickers, polls, hashtags, and highlights to enhance Stories have succeeded in making the app even more addictive, as if that was even possible.

26. The U.S. election and social media’s fake news crisis (2016)

You could argue that 2016 was a no good very bad year for social media—and by extension democracy.

It was the year a sophisticated information warfare was waged using “troll factories” on social media used to spread disinformation—including false claims and conspiracy theories—during the U.S. presidential election. Mainstream influencers like journalists, pundits and politicians—even Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump—were found to be spreading content that bots had shared online.

Facebook has since revealed that 126 million Americans were exposed to content by Russian agents during the election.

In 2018, Facebook, Twitter, and Google representatives appeared before the U.S. Congress to testify as part of ongoing investigations into Russia’s attempts to influence the elections.

27. Twitter doubles the character limit (2017)

In an effort to attract more users, Twitter doubled its signature character limit from 140 to 280 characters. The move was widely panned by more than a few users (and had critics hoping Trump wouldn’t find out).

Of course, it was @Jack who tweeted out the first super-sized tweet:

This is a small change, but a big move for us. 140 was an arbitrary choice based on the 160 character SMS limit. Proud of how thoughtful the team has been in solving a real problem people have when trying to tweet. And at the same time maintaining our brevity, speed, and essence! https://t.co/TuHj51MsTu

— jack (@jack) September 26, 2017

The major change along with the introduction of “threads” (aka Twitterstorms) now means tweets that will make you go WTF are increasingly unavoidable as everyone makes the most of their 280 characters.

28. Cambridge Analytica and #DeleteFacebook (2018)

In early 2018, it was revealed that Facebook allowed a researcher from Cambridge Analytica—who had worked on Donald Trump’s presidential campaign—to harvest data from 50 million users without their consent. A campaign to #DeleteFacebook swept the internet as users protested by deleting their profiles on the site en masse. Despite this, Facebook’s user numbers continue to climb.

Facing mounting pressure to address data privacy, Zuckerberg participated in five days of hearings before the U.S. Congress.

29. Instagram launches IGTV app (2018)

If you thought Boomerang was the only video app Instagram had up its sleeve you would be wrong. Instagram is now ready to compete with YouTube: the company increased its one-minute video limit to one-hour and launched a whole new app, IGTV, dedicated to long-form video.

Up next 2019

Hear our 2019 social media predictions in our data-pack Social Trends Webinar. Gain new insights from our survey of 3,255+ of social media professionals and leave with cutting-edge best practices from the world’s brightest social brands.

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[michaeljtraylor]

Real life vs. online life: For kids, is there a difference?

Image: bob al-greene / mashable

Welcome to Small Humans, an ongoing series at Mashable that looks at how to take care of – and deal with – the kids in your life. Because Dr. Spock is nice and all, but it’s 2018 and we have the entire internet to contend with.

When Amber Petersen noticed her seven-year-old daughter was spending progressively more time playing games online, she reached back into the 1800s for a little instruction.

On a summer day this year, as Brooklyn explored a virtual playground on Roblox, the popular gaming platform designed for young kids, Petersen read out loud from Meet Kirsten, a kids’ chapter book based in the 1850s that’s part of doll-maker American Girl’s historical fiction series. 

“I thought it would encourage her to open her mind since she had been so immersed in her video games prior to that,” Petersen said. “I had just stopped to do a comprehension check with her at a part when Kirsten got lost from her family. We were talking about how different it was back then not to have phones or iPads or internet to get help or locate people.”

Moments later, after talking about the realities of 19th century America, Brooklyn handed her mom her iPad, which displayed a terrifying scene straight out of the 21st century. There, in the fantasy world she’d been exploring on Roblox, other virtual characters were sexually assaulting the young girl’s avatar, which Brooklyn had designed to look like herself.

‘What do we mean by real?’

While online bad behavior is rampant, most young kids don’t witness the violent gang rape of their own character during their daily gaming sessions. The Petersens’ experience is certainly an exception.

Still, the online world is increasingly a focus for young kids, especially as tablets, smartphones, games and other online interactions take up more of their time. A 2017 report from Common Sense Media found that even the youngest kids, ages 8 and under, spend more than two hours a day with screen media – and more of that time is happening on mobile devices that can seem tethered to their bodies.

And when kids, so engrossed in the worlds they are creating on Minecraft or the games they’re playing in Roblox, only ever want to talk about their online exploits, parents question if they can even differentiate between events that are happening in the real world and the virtual ones that they are building. 

But experts on child development and technology say that’s not the right question to ask.  

“If a child has this world that he or she engages in online and it feels like a valid, meaningful part of her life … what do we mean by real?” said Jacqueline Woolley, a professor of psychology at University of Texas.

Discerning differences starts early

Research, including Woolley’s own, shows that kids can begin to distinguish between reality and fantasy between the ages of 3 and 5. By the time they reach age 12, they can tell the difference as well as adults. 

The internet, of course, isn’t the only place kids encounter non-realities in their lives. Some play daily with imaginary friends. Or, they binge read Harry Potter. Or, they act out every line from Star Wars or Moana.

It also isn’t the first new technology to arouse suspicion.

“Everybody thought television was going to ruin children’s brains,” Woolley said. “But kids learn to differentiate TV from reality. Their parents can help them a little bit by talking with them about it, but they figure it out pretty quickly. So, then the question is, is that also true with the internet? Is the internet unique in some way? Is it a new challenge that parents need to help kids figure out?” 

So far, there isn’t much research that delves into the pros and cons of the imaginary worlds that young kids create online. It’s only recently that the youngest kids have become so involved in it. 

But for parents, said Woolley, what’s still important is teaching kids to have a healthy dose of skepticism, especially in an online world where images, videos and information often are manipulated.

“I don’t know that the internet is posing any kind of new problem,” she said. “But I do think that the internet is providing multiple exposures and more opportunities to get confused just because of the nature of the way information is presented.”

Controls still required

Of course, none of this means kids should get unlimited screen time without the proper parental controls, experts say. A 2017 University of Michigan study offered warning signs of screen addiction – for kids ages 4 to 11. When screen time interferes with daily activities or is the only activity that brings a child joy are among the red flags. 

A strong psychological identification with their online avatar, when paired with other issues, could be another.

One recent study, published in the journal Games and Culture, looked at South Korean middle school students’ internal identification with the avatars they created for themselves online. When players lacked social skills and suffered from low self-esteem, they more often identified strongly with their virtual character and had higher rates of depression and gaming addiction.

“They might feel like they prefer their online self with their real self and want to spend more time there,” said Megan Golonka, a developmental psychologist at Duke University’s Center for Child and Family Policy.

But, for most, Golonka said there’s no problem with kids building an avatar they love or identify with. “That’s part of the fun and excitement – especially for little kids,” she said. 

Real life discussions 

For Petersen, this summer’s experience on Roblox provided a lot of opportunities to talk about real life topics – like rape and sexual assault – with her seven-year-old, conversations she wasn’t prepared to have.

Soon after she posted about her experience on Facebook and her story went viral, Roblox responded, banning the offender from the site and putting other safeguards in place to reduce the possibility of it happening again, according to a company statement.

These days, Petersen is more diligent about regularly checking security settings and talking with her daughter during and after each gaming session. 

“I have made it very clear to her that she will not be in trouble for sharing anything with me that she may think I wouldn’t approve of,” Petersen said. “Instead, I like to find teaching moments in our dialogue and there have been many times that we have gotten into valuable, in-depth discussions that boost self-esteem and encourage her to be a good digital citizen.”

Tips to help kids navigate

Supervising kids and using those teaching moments are two ways parents can help young gamers, experts say. There are other ways to help kids navigate their online worlds as well.

1. Set limits

Establish a routine for reconnecting with reality after a gaming session, Golonka recommends. Once kids have unplugged, have them take a walk, eat a healthy snack or read a book before they can start regaling you with stories of their online wins.

“That can really help with that separation with that’s my online world and now I’m in the real world,” she said.

2. Encourage IRL interactions

Make sure all their social time isn’t just happening online. If they shy away from real-life interactions, said Devorah Heitner, founder of Raising Digital Natives and author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World, ask them why.

“What would help them focus on their real life?” she said. “And what’s awkward and what’s difficult for them?” 

3. Model good behavior

Are you often lost in your own online world as your kids compete for your attention? Now’s the time to think about your online habits – and how they might look to your children.

“Are they [parents] engaging with their kids?” said Nadia Charguia, a child psychiatrist at the UNC-Chapel Hill School of Medicine. “Or, are they also glued to their phone or another screen? Think about what they’re doing.”

4. Treat cyberbullying like real-life bullying

If it was playground bullying, you’d comfort your child and contact those in charge, Golonka said. With cyberbullying, your response should be the same.

“Explain to them that unfortunately things happen sometimes,” Golonka said. “It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them or they did anything wrong. Just reassure them that they are loved and cared for and that you will be there to protect them.”

5. Teach them to be good digital citizens

Finally, remind kids that what they do online is a representation of themselves and their character, said social media coach Laura Tierney, founder of The Social Institute, which works with kids as young as third grade.

“We can’t say there is a divide. That there’s the digital you and the real life you,” Tierney said. “They are one in the same. … We need to teach students that this is part of them and, frankly, we don’t need to teach them that. They already believe it.” 

Read more great stories from Small Humans:   

The parent founders of UrbanSitter and Primary.com on startups after babies

Baby sleep gadgets to try if you’re really tired and desperate

10 apps to help your kids learn to control their emotions 

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/kids-real-life-online-avatar/

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