#1 month report
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doodle!! Dump!!!
#guys pls save me frm sch#i hav.#1 month to study 2 yrs worth of stuff#PLS I NEED AN ACADEMIC GLOWUP SO BAD MY REPORT CARD ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE😭#ahem anyways#enjoy these doodles :3#present mic#bnha#mha#yamada hizashi#hizashi yamada#bnha fanart#aizawa shouta#boku no hero academia#erasermic#eraserhead
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#hi hello its your number 1 jeongsunger reporting for duty#yang jeongin#han jisung#forhanji#bystay#inniesource#createskz#meltracks#usersa#adriblr#userwilliam#flashing tw#could i have found higher quality footage of this? probably but idc im STILL losing my mind over this#its been MONTHS atp#mygifs
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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wondering why im so fucking sleepy for no reason then remembered I forgot to take my meds for 3 days
#how did i live in this world unmedicated like#i have always been this sleepy and tired all the time i just thought it was a personal flaw#taking adhd meds actually made me so#idk when i first had it i coulsnt stop telling my friends how awesome it was to be awake#its like theres no longer a heavy cloud over my consciousness 80% of the time#i could actually read books without dozing off it was amazing ..#so why did i forget...idk i just forgot. i have the forgot disorder#tbh a few months ago id know if i forgot my meds bc I'd just suddenly get sleepy in the middle of the day#these few days i just attributed it to academic stress and lack of sleep and what not but it only just occured to me like#uh#5 min ago#that this is how i feel without medication#cool. cool. i forgot about my brain condition and accidentally slept my whole morning away instead of writing my reports#its actually crazy to me that i need external influences to function normally like i need my awake pills#caffeiene doesnt even do shit for me#i need my stupid fucking cocaine#sorry im just angry at myself again for 1)wasting away hours being sleepu#2)forgot my meds made me remember my debuff. a reminder that i cant ever be normal#adhd is fun except when its not fun then. it fucking sucks#its only good for yapping
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writing this in the tags bc i need to articulate it somewhere that isn’t to my mother on the phone
#I work at a firm w seven (well. six.) partners#so they are all technically my bosses but I rlly only do work for two /maybe/ four of them#i was hired under the guise of being my one boss’ like. protege.#as in when he retires I’ll take over his practice. and also he’s so busy that i could help some of that now.#his area of practice is like. so complex and huge that it isn’t something u learn in months. maybe not even years.#but atp what happens is he meets directly w the clients and then i do literally everything else.#which is fine. except for two things.#1) he has now started joking about how he’s going to be ‘the face’ of it while i do everything#which wouldn’t bother me so much if he was Paying Me For It.#bc 2) he’s only allocating HALF. my hourly rate for those type of clients#I spend. idk prob 70% of my billable hours on his clients. and he’s only allocating half my hourly for them.#and im just like. I wasn’t hired to be ur assistant 😭 im an attorney too 😭 teach me???????????#some days when I really sit and think abt it it just makes me want to switch to directly report to my other boss#i looooove working for my other boss. and i rlly enjoy his area of practice too!!!!#and he like. has basic respect for me as an attorney 😭#anyway idk. it gets more frustrating the more responsibility i take on………….#thoughts inspired by good boss apologizing to me today for overstepping me while talking to a client#and referring to it as being like my bad boss 😭#not bad. he isn’t a bad boss. i just. idk KENFKWNFKSNDK
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youtube
“We created these problems, we can solve these problems.” -Doris Kearns Goodwin
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Jon Stewart on Never Ending Elections with Doris Kearns Goodwin and Eugene Daniels
“The idea that this vetting process is somehow getting us closer to more competent and better leadership is nonsense and insane. And we have created an electoral campaign system that does the opposite.” On this week’s episode Jon Stewart is joined by Doris Kearns Goodwin and Eugene Daniels.
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Biden Is Out, Harris Is In with Jon Stewart, Doris Kearns Goodwin & Eugene Daniels
In the turbulent month since President Biden’s disastrous debate performance, the media has been speculating as to whether it was probable, or even possible, for him to drop out of the race. Turns out, it was both. In light of Biden’s historic decision, how effectively did the media guide the public through the election chaos? This week, helping us to contextualize the moment and understand the challenges in covering it, Jon Stewart is joined by Doris Kearns Goodwin, presidential historian and author of whose most recent book is An Unfinished Love Story: A Personal History of the 1960s, as well as Eugene Daniels, POLITICO White House correspondent and Playbook co-author. Together, they examine the flaws in our electoral process and media coverage, offer some possible fixes, and provide facts —not speculation — about what to expect in the weeks ahead.
#jon stewart#bearded jon#the jon stewart show#the daily show with jon stewart#the colbert report#the late show with stephen colbert#the problem with jon stewart#the weekly show with jon stewart#doris kearns goodwin#eugene daniels#indecision 2024#joe biden#kamala harris#elections#campaigning#primaries#campaign finance reform#voting#our long ass campaign season#seriously what the fuck#this could be done in 1-2 months#psa to fucking vote#interview#discussion#short#videos
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hmmmmm wife's work is pulling some extremely shady (and illegal!) shit so they maybe hopefully get some legal penalties
#(it's a vet clinic)#they already got got for treating wildlife without the proper license(s) last month#1) bosses were warned by a receptionist that her chair might be broken then... it broke. and she hurt herself. she gets l&i.#they then cut her hours enough to drop from full-time.#so there's some retaliation.#2) during a staff meeting the bosses said they would withhold pay from one of the doctors (for a stupid reason but to do it at all...)#so there's some (threatened) wage theft as well#3) tried to retroactively get someone actively on parental leave to sign paperwork saying she'd be back at work 2 weeks earlier#than her government-provided parental leave afforded her#like they chastised her A FULL WEEK into the leave bc they didn't give her the paperwork saying she ''should have signed it before leaving'#which as far as i know is just a really shitty + shady move but afaik not illegal per se#4) the x-ray room is just an open room with no door or barrier between where employees walk and like it's BEEN like that#so wife reported them to osha ❤️#(there are many not-illegal reasons why the bosses are terrible but these are the legally/potentially legally actionable ones)
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#there was a period where I used this blog to vent quite a lot#I've tried to stop doing that because 1) I'm just trying to be more positive in general#and 2) even if it's just venting about little things - it's still negative and probably not that much fun for you who still follow my blog#thanks for that btw#so as you probably know I was incredibly anxious about turning 30 this year#that happened a few months ago and I'm pleased to report that it's been fine#it's not a big deal at all#(I mean. aunties now raise their eyebrow slightly higher than before. since I still have neither a spouse nor phd. but whatevs)#turning 30 has been fine :)#on a completely unrelated note : this has been the absolute worst year of my life so far#certainly the worst since the desastre that was 2015#but as of today I think 2023 exceeds that#and honestly. if its 1 god-awful year in 8. those aren't the worst statistics and life is overwhelmingly bearable. maybe even pleasant#and genuinely. truly. these are bad luck events completely unrelated to turning 30#so anxiety of aging and life milestones is pointless#that's my lesson as a tumblr-elder (but real-world-young-person)#also yes yes el problema es el capitalismo etc but if any star sign people can explain what caused my bad luck this year : please do !
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i also possibly maybe perhaps even. lost my id and i can't stop thinking about it
#that one post about adhd costs due to constantly losing shit auegh#like taking out an id and even reporting it's missing. costs money here. and man.#i needed it for a job i applied to luckily i had some photos left on my phone from back when i had to take a picture of it#like i have 1 maybe 2 ideas of where it might be of it isn't :((( i don't feel like being chewed out for it anytime soon#+ i can't even make a new one here I'll have to go home for it#which means i won't have an id for like. the next 2 months at least if i don't find it. pain and fucking suffering
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Song of the Day: May 22
"And So It Goes” Billy Joel cover by Jennifer Warnes
#song of the day#I'd never heard this version of the song before that fanvid I reblogged earlier and it is by far my favorite now#no shade to Billy Joel but damn#'and so it goes and so it goes / and you're the only one / who knows'#truly heartbreaking delivery#in other news today I got the first third of the Idiot Project completed#(clarification: there are three segments and I've been working on them all and now one is completely done and I'm very glad#I'm not only just now 33% of the way done with the project overall. I'd become a mollusc)#I had a breakthrough with the financials data I've been trying to compile#the 'correct' numbers I've been told to compare myself to don't include all the transactions!#there are specific internals codes I should have known to exclude because they get recorded but never reported#a very frustrating epiphany but whatever. I get it#(I mean to say. the best borscht in cherry grove is money laundering but my university is operating by 'pass-along agreement'#okay sure whatever y'all say. not my business and I'm not mad. I'm just sipping my tea real loud don't mind me)#I got this information too thoroughly wrapped in 'you should already know this obvious thing' to actually get an explanation#but I can see the shape of it if I squint. there's a politics bit going on and I get it. I do get it. but y'all. it's the shape of bullshit#anyway now I know how it works and I can account for it so I've built in a little filter and now my financials data makes sense!!#it actually makes sense now babes this is huge!! two months!! two months of the Idiot Project and now it's a third-chunk down!!#tomorrow I will make no progress whatsoever because I have to work graduation but on Friday when I have my stupid awful meeting!#she will ask me again if I am done! and I will say Look!! I am 1 out of 3 done!!#she will not be impressed but I will know. I will know she is wrong
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thank you all for the boops hehe <3
#i don't post here anymore but i still enjoy checking the notifications and seeing people still enjoy my cat doodles#the doodle where i mentioned going on HRT in the caption has been getting traction again lately so#i am happy to report i'm now a year and 1-2 months on HRT :D
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stressed and having absolutely zero drive within me to complete anything god how is this year already off to such a great start
#hahaha how am i supposed to have 17-25 pages of a technical report i havent even started done by next week#fucking beats me !!!#not to mention completing another team assignment + another cs assignment + work#im either selling my soul or sleeping a total of 5 hours this week#my motivation has plummeted to a depth so deep i haven't felt this bad in ages#even worse i have nothing to cling on like i normally do#and by that i mean even music... like how bad is it when music cant even do anything for me anymore#i need.. i need something to look forward to until april#im turning 20 this month and i cant even be excited because im stressed out of my MIND#me on a coop term thinking: oh wow this term will be so easy im only taking 1 course there's no way it'll be as stressful as a regular term#i was so so utterly wrong oh my god#personal
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just ✨✨✨✨✨ overpowered peepaw real ✨ ✨ and calling koby his protege,,, future of the marines,,,,,,,,
also obsessed with??? how his abilities are called after space stuff?? meteor shower,,, galaxy fist,,,, <- they are very normal ab space
and just the chapter being called The Legendary Hero!!!!!1
#one piece spoilers#op spoilers#1080#{ ooc } ✗ 「 WENP reporter 」#[ in class rn but feeling Soooo normal#[ just!!!#[ !!!!!!!!1#[ yelling#[ these past few months.... i am winning.....
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Starting to wonder if I have bipolar but then I would literally have almost every mental illness. Like fr I'm not kidding you, I'm a collector and I never chose this
#it does run in my family since my mom had it#i just wonder because while im almost always suicidal the way that prevents itself can greatly change very quickly#like periodically ill be stuck to my bed very sad very mopy for like 3 weeks to 3 months#and then sudden i get this burst of false energy that is actually severe restlessness#and i NEED to do something when that happens. sometimes i just cannot sleep because ive gotta do something#sometimes i frantically draw or write and ill have these moments where i feel ecstatic and when i come back to normal levels of sadness#im convinced i mustve been delusional to think the thoughts that i had then#usually the sadness isnt as bad during those periods but the suicidality is much worse actually because i become very frantic#and have so much more energy#idk. my theory thus far has been either 1) adhd causing mood dysregulation and hyperactivity#2) fluctuations in my depression and anxiety combating each other. actually both of these.#or 3) DID. just DID. i think thats lretty self explanatory#the interesting thing is that i think what i described with point 1 and 2 would be clinically considered bipolar...?#listen clinicians dont always consider the other factors that contribute to what symptoms the person is having#especially in psychology where the lines are very blurry since diagnosis tends to be made on behavioral observations#and also on self reported symptoms.i suspect im one of the only people who would describe symptoms like 'im having x because i have y'#and not just 'im having x symptom'#skfjfh sorry to everyone who reads my tags 👍 psychology special interest go brr
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the drop in my movie watching habits since i started grad school. u can see the very first week- i watched nothing for a whole week for the first time in maybe years
#the last blue one is this week i have watched 1 movie so far the europa report#the last big spike was my fall break last month i think#no wait actually that was my gothic fling a couple weeks ago...
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hmmmmmmm i wanna cry
#gonna vent !#i'm havinf a crisis i think#1 my ADD is getting so much worse#2 i gained like 10 lbs during my internship#3 i cant focus on anything anymore#4 i wanna sell all my le sserafim photocards worth over $800 usd#and so on and so on#i just feel so lost#im in d middle of writing my report n i just cant be assed to do so#n i feel a lot dumber#like intellectually .... im not smart at all#i just dont know what to do anymore like i dont feel passionate abt anything anymore and i hate it#oh also i feel like im going through another psychotic break for Reasons i dont wanna disclose#i feel LOSTTTT#i cant put anything into words coz i dont know how i feel i dont know anything !!!!!!!!!!!#these past few months have been so ??????? i feel like i was floating the entire time#august hasnt been good to me so far . sad#oh also im not friends with anyone from my uni anymore ! no reason we just drifted apart n#or idk maybe i did something wrong#i wanna scream into a void . or maybe i wanna get sucked into a void n just disappear
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