#09.25.

[iamringo]

🌝

おやすみ。 Good night…

[kalbinnefhasi]

Basit bir insanım, normalliğin vücut bulmuş haliyim. Kitap okumayı severim, kahve içmeyi ya da müzik dinlemeyi severim. Yeni aktivitelere her zaman açığım, samimiyim, duracağım yeri, aynı zamanda konuşacağım yeride bilirim. Dostlarıma sadık kalırım, sırlarını bana paylaştıklarında ömür boyu saklarım. Kimseyi üzmek istemem, ama kimsede beni üzdün istemem. Severim, karşımdaki beni sevmiyorsa bile ben severim onu.

[dykeredhood]

Compiling a list of technical terms/references that I’ve made/specific words that I thought were part of my colleagues’ general knowledge (I was met with confusion or a blank stare when I mentioned these in conversation)

Baron Samedi

pogrom

swizzle stick

harangue/lambast

“this is a moot point”

Philadelphia is located in the state of Pennsylvania

genocide

Tories (the political party)

Zika virus

grunge music (and how it’s associated with the early 90’s/Seattle area)

the term quack referring to a phony doctor

telling time: it’s ten minutes before the hour

darning a sock

lassi

“albeit”

Mata Hari

redacted

“meandering”

[yourbuckies]

Sebastian Stan on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (09.25)

[portfolio-hjmmjbo]

[meredithmcclaren]

Hey. Hey hey. Hey hey hey. BLACK CLOAK issue #08 is coming to shelves next week on 09.25. It's good stuff. You should pick it up.

BLACK CLOAK is written by Kelly Thompson, art by me, letters by Becca Carey and design by Rian Hughes. All good people. I swear.

Description: An illustration of a Raiju from Japanese mythology killing a winged snake with a spear. The characters are from the comic BLACK CLOAK and the piece is designed to resemble the look and age of an ukiyo-e print.

[cocoelleansims]

Nylon Summer Nail Set

Early Access, Public 09.25

Find Here

[kognitivdisszonancia]

Eladó 2 db színházjegy 09.25-re, a Centrál színházba a Házassági leckék középhaladóknak 2-re.

6 500 Ft/db, erkély közép - online jegyek, adminisztrációs díj költségét nem számítom fel, szóval jobban jártok, mint a jegy.hu-val.✨

Érdeklődni üzenetben. 😊

[officialrhysandweek]

Get hyped for The Most Handsome High Lord!

09.24: Lord Of Nightmares: Rhysand is the most fearsome High Lord. What does he look like when he's at his meanest and scariest?

09.25: The Illyrian Warrior: Beyond being the High Lord, Rhysand's half Illyrian heritage meant he trained in the Illyrian war camps and and earned the coveted-and rare-title of Carynthian. What did this journey look like for him?

09.26: The Most Powerful High Lord: Rhysand is the most powerful High Lord Prythian has ever seen. How did he learn to control his magic? How does he grapple with that much power?

09.27: The Court Of Dreams: Despite his feared reputation, at his core, Rhysand is a dreamer. What does he dream about when he looks at the stars?

09.28: Family Man: From the family he lost, to the family he chose and the family who chose him, Rhysand's family is numerous. What does a glimpse into their life look like?

09. 29: Past times: When he's not working, Rhysand likes to have fun. What do you envision the High Lord of the Night Court gets up to in his spare time?

09.30: Free Day: The sky is the limit when you have wings (and a good imagination)!

[iamringo]

🍽本日のりんごはん🍽

☝︎お昼ごはん

☝︎夕ごはん

[harrowclare]

harrowclare's 2024 reading lists

currently reading/listening to

The Exorcist - William Blatty Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage

up next

a lot of books, honestly.

finished books

here is the long, long list of my 2024 reads with ratings & dates. because of tumblr's limit on links, i cannot direct to individual reviews. if you would like to view my reviews on their respective sites, you can find them on thestorygraph & goodreads.

dates are listed as month, day. manga volumes that are binged will be grouped so that this list isn't a million miles long, with the range of ratings for the volumes in the stack. a few of these titles were started in 2023, lol whoops! those are the only dates with a year stamp.

wanna read along or chat with me about books? i'm super active on fable.

reading challenges: horror bingo reaading challenge (2024-2025)

current reading goal progress: 113/100

* * *

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 10.09—10.10 - fiction

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 10.03—10.09 - fiction

Indian Burial Ground by Nick Medina 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 08.25—10.09 - fiction originally i listened to the audiobook, stopping at 57% & restarting the hardcover book from the beginning.

Walking Practice by Dolki Min 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 10.04—10.05 - fiction

Stormflower by Keegan Kozinski & Tristen Kozinski (eARC) 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 07.29—10.02 - fiction

Diavola by Jennifer Marie Thorne 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 09.27—10.01 - fiction

The House That Horror Built by Christina Henry 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑 - 09.25—09.29 - fiction

Stolen Tongues by Felix Blackwell 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑 - 09.23—09.24 - fiction

Volume Ø: Issue 3 by multiple authors 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 09.21—09/22 - fiction

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 09.12—09. 21 - fiction

The Memory Police by Yōko Ogawa 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 09.04—09.12 - fiction

The Dead Take the A Train by Cassandra Khaw & Richard Kadrey 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 09.02—09.12 - fiction

This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 09.04—09.05 - fiction

Five-Star Stranger by Kat Tang 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 08.30—08.31 - fiction

The Haar by David Sodergren 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑 - 08.25—08.29 - fiction

None of This is True by Lisa Jewell 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑- 08.26—08.27 - fiction

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 08.19—08.25 - fiction i actually gave this a 3.75 on thestorygraph, which may seem obnoxious, but it felt right idk. sometimes rating shit 1-5 feels arbitrary and hard.

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.30—08.24 - fiction

Killing Stalking Deluxe Edition Vol. 1 by Koogi 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 08.24—08.24 - webtoon

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 03.16.23—08.22 - fiction

Schappi by Anna Haifisch 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 08.20—08.20 - graphic novel

You Will Own Nothing And You Will Be Happy #1 by Simon Hanslemann 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 08.20—08.20 - graphic novel, reread

Werewolf Jones and Sons Deluxe Summer Fun Annual by Simon Hanselmann & Simon Pettinger 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 08.20—08.20 - graphic novel

Something Akin to Revulsion by Judith Sonnet 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 - 08.19—08.20 - fiction

Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 08.16—08.18 - fiction

Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 08.09—08.16 - fiction

The Troop by Nick Cutter 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 08.12—08.14 - fiction

Nestlings by Nat Cassidy 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 08.01—08.12 - fiction

Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 07.27—08.09 - fiction

The Eyes Are the Best Part by Monika Kim 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.30—08.06 - fiction

The Ruins by Scott Smith 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 08.01—08.05 - fiction

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 07.24—07.30 - fiction at the time of reading and reviewing this i was unaware of the controversies surrounding the author (uncredited use of the likeness of a video game and possible Zionism.) i don't want to change my rating & review because the book did have a profound impact on me, but i also do not believe in separating art from the artist, so i will not be purchasing the book or reading more from the author.

Ghost Station by S.A. Barnes 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.14—07.29 - fiction

Playground by Aron Beauregard 🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 - 07.23—07.28 - fiction

Middle of the Night by Riley Sager 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑- 07.17—07.27 - fiction

Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑- 07.15—07.24 - fiction

The Spirit Bares its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑- 07.11—07.23 - fiction

The Liminal Zone by Junji Ito 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑- 07.20—07.22 - manga

The Summer Hikaru Died Vol. 1 by Mokumokuren 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.19—07.20 - manga

Looking Glass Sound by Catriona Ward 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 07.11—07.16 - fiction

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 07.10—07.13 - fiction

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 07.09—07.10 - fiction

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.08—07.09 - fiction

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 07.03—07.08 - fiction

Do a Powerbomb! by Daniel Warren Johnson 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕- 07.05—07.05 - graphic novel

The Centre by Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 06.27—07.03 - fiction

Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 06.26—06.26 - fiction

How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 06.23—06.25 - fiction

Victim by Andrew Boryga 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 06.14—06.17 - fiction

A Good Happy Girl by Marissa Higgins 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 - 04.19—06.14 - fiction

A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 06.06—06.13 - fiction

The Hunting Party by Lucy Foley 🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 - 06.01—06.06 - fiction

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 05.22—05.31 - fiction

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 05.26—05.27 - non-fiction

Annie Bot by Sierra Greer 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 05.19—05.21 - fiction

You've Lost a Lot of Blood by Eric LaRocca 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 05.10—05.19 - fiction

Ghost Eaters by Clay McLeod Chapman 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 05.18—05.19 - fiction

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 05.14—05.18 - fiction

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 05.10—05.13 - fiction

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 05.01—05.03 - fiction review: thestorygraph, goodreads

The Measure by Nikki Erlick 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 04.21—04.23 - fiction

Tokyo Ghoul Vol. 1 - Vol. 8 by Sui Ishida 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 04.22—05.08 - manga

Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 04.18—04.21 - fiction

Know My Name by Chanel Miller 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 04.05—04.18 - non-fiction

Chainsaw Man Vol. 1 - Vol. 11 by Tatsuki Fujimoto 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 04.16—04.22 - manga

Jujutsu Kaisen Vol. 5 - Vol. 26 by Gege Akutami 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 12.23.23—04.16 - manga

Tampa by Alissa Nutting 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑 - 04.02—04.03 - fiction

Circe by Madeline Miller 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 03.29—04.01 - fiction

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 03.25—03.28 - fiction

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 - 03.23—03.25 - fiction

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 - 02.02—03.20 - fiction

Time Is a Mother by Ocean Vyong 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 - 03.06—03.06- poetry

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 - 02.01—02.01- fiction

Y/N by Esther Yi | fiction 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 - 01.31—02.01 - fiction

my tiny DNF pile

Falling by T.J Newman stopped at 6% - 10.07 - fiction

The Laws of the Skies by Grégoire Courtois stopped at 32% - 09.07 - fiction

People Who Eat Darkness by Richard Lloyd Parry stopped at 24% - 05.03 - non-fiction

new words

(tbh i know many of these verbally, but didn't know when when i read them - or vice versa depending on whether i was reading with my eyes or ears.)

acrimony, alacrity, allay, ameliorate, aplomb, assiduously, avarice, avulsed, conviviality, detritus, eddy, garrulous, germane, gloaming, gunwale, inexorable, itinerant, lassitude, lugubrious, moribund, palliative, palimpsest, pernicious, pugnacious, sententiously, scrim, sepulchral, shale, splume, stalward, surreptitious, rime, verisimilitude

[5149eszter]

Gót programajánló

Mert baromi s��rű hetek jönnek

(B) 09.15. - 101 klub - Postpunk lovers vol. 6

(B) 09.16. - 101 klub - Electronic Body Madness indusztriál buli

(K) 09.18. - Arena Wien - Sunn O))

(K) 09.20 - a38 - She Past Away + Body of Pain

(K) 09. 22. - Auróra - Phantasy Bureau + Ekko the strange + Borg

(K) 09.23. - Auróra - korine + m!r!m

(K) 09. 23. - Analog - Wind Rose

(B) 09.23. - Superconic - Suttyódiszkó

(K) 09.24. - Dürer - She Wants Revenge

(K) 09.25. - Dürer - God Is An Astronaut

(K) 09.25. - barba negra - Combichrist + Megaherz

(K) 09.27 - kripta - mock executions + norms + tunga penetráns

(K) 09.27. - BudapestArena - Two Steps From Hell

(K) 09.29. - a38 - IAMX

(B) 09.29. - Edith - new wave szerűség

Későbbi koncik:

(K) 10.08 - barba negra - Paradise Lost

(K) 10.11. - Dürer - The Sisters of Mercy

(K) 10.14. - Instant - Rue Oberkampf + neon lies + Cawatana

(K) 10.20. - hunnia - Nulladik változat

(K) 10.28. - barba negra - Sear Bliss

(K) 11.03. - akvarium - archive

(K) 11.04. - akvarium - swans

(K) 11.08. - Robot - Kontravoid + Kris Baha

(K) 11.24-25. - a38 - Thy Catafalque dupla koncert // vendég: kaláka, Master Boot Record

(K) 11.28. - Dürer - VNV Nation + Black Nail Cabaret

(K) 12.01. - barba negra - Deathstars

( K=koncert, B=buli)

[shortnsweettour]

SHORT N' SWEET TOUR

09.23: columbus, OH

09.25: toronto, CA

09.26: detroit, MI

09.29: new york, NY

09.30: brooklyn, NY

10.02: hartford, CT

10.03: boston, MA

10.05: baltimore, MD

10.08: philadelphia, PA

10.11: montreal, CA

10.13: chicago, IL

10.14: minneapolis, MN

10.16: nashville, TN

10.17: st. louis, MO

10.19: raleigh, NC

10.20: charlottesville, VA

10.22: atlanta, GA

10.24: orlando, FL

10.25: tampa, FL

10.27: houston, TX

10.28: austin, TX

10.30: dallas, TX

11.01: denver, CO

11.02: salt lake city, UT

11.04: vancouver, CA

11.06: seattle, WA

11.07: portland, OR

11.09: san francisco, CA

11.10: san diego, CA

11.13: phoenix, AZ

11.15: los angeles, CA

11.17: inglewood, CA

11.18: inglewood, CA

03.03: dublin, IR

03.04: dublin, IR

03.06: birmingham, UK

03.08: london, UK

03.09: london, UK

03.11: glasgow, UK

03.13: manchester, UK

03.14: manchester, UK

03.16: paris, FR

03.17: paris, FR

03.19: berlin, GER

03.22: brussels, BELG

03.23: amsterdam, NLD

03.26: milan, ITLY

[kimblestudies]

09.22 - 09.25

-> my academics have been,, disturbingly chill, actually.

-> taking econ notes. aggregate demand baby.

-> art ! painting + studies if you can call them that

[thecatsaesthetics]

Doing What is Best

@officialrhysandweek

Day Two of Rhysand Week - 09.25: The Illyrian Warrior

Read this fic down below or on A03

You were eight when your mother sent you to the camps.

Cassian’s word had rung through Rhysand’s head as he tried to concentrate on the papers in front of his desk. He was looking over reports from the Illyrian camps but could not stop thinking of Cassian’s words from earlier today. 

That day had been Nyx’s seventh birthday and at the celebrations Cassian had asked the question Rhysand had dreaded.

As they had been watching Nyx unwrap presents, being spoiled endlessly by his family, Cassian came over to Rhys.

In Cassian’s mind Rhysand heard a question.

You were eight when your mother sent you to the camps.

Rhysand didn’t know how to respond. His eighth birthday had been one where he watched his mother turn her back and a new life began for him. He did not regret it but he still remembered the pain of watching his mother turn her back on him.

I could train him here if you don’t want to send him.

Rhysand knew that was a possibility, but he wanted to give his son the best and sending him to the camps would be the best for his future.

We have another year to decide, nothing needs to be done now.

But the question burned inside Rhys head, would it be best for Nyx to stay here? Surrounded by the ones who loved him the most and then there was Feyre… She had loved their son, spoiled him, hardly let him out of her sight. How could she possibly be separated from him? How could Rhysand even ask that of her?

His thoughts lingered on his mother and father. His mother had stayed with him at the camps; despite having dropped him off in cold Illyrian fashion. His father hadn’t seen him for eight years and nothing indicated he was troubled over that. He knew his mother would insist Nyx go to the camps.  As High Lord he would need to be respected and feared, and he needed to learn how to control his powers. It was his birthright to know his own culture, and Rhysand did not know how he could deny his son that.

Rhysand tried again to concentrate on the papers before him, generals complaints about soldiers and about training females. He saw Feyre slip into the room, she was dressed in a rather revealing nightgown, her hair was down and had been brushed out. Rhysand felt the bond between them go taut with need and desire.

“Feyre darling” He said, as she came over to him, massaging his shoulders and caressing his face.

“Come to bed” Feyre whispered into his ear.

Her voice, her scent… filled him with yearning. It had been hours since they had last been together, he had taken her quickly this morning, still he felt the need enter his body. Nearly a decade since he learned her name and still nothing had cooled his desire for her.

“I have some very interesting papers I must read” He teased her, gesturing to the papers scattered all over his desk.

Feyre looked at the mountain of paperwork on the desk, none of it sorted. She crinkled her nose at the sight.

“You need an assistant” she stated.

Rhysand chuckled and pulled Feyre into his lap.

“That very funny, considering I had to beg you to get one.”

It was a year after Nyx’s birth, he wasn’t sleeping through the night and Feyre was still feeding him. She was working all day long on projects for Velaris and getting little to no sleep. Rhysand had at first insisted on a nurse, but Feyre refused. Feyre had been raised by a nurse as a child and did not want that for her own child. They finally settled on an assistant who could at least help Feyre manage her workload.

“And look at my desk compared to yours.” Feyre pointed over to her own desk, sitting on the other side of the room. Papers neatly piled in order of importance and even placed in differing folders for Feyre’s convenience.

“I could lend her to you, if you don’t want to hire another” Feyre said, she pushed lightly at his chest and went to stand up.

Rhysand looked over his desk, how messy it had gotten.

“I might take you up on that offer” he said.

“Rhys come to bed” Feyre said rearranging her night dress.

Rhysand’s eyes lingered on the Illyrian report. He grimaced. His mind going back to Cassian and the conversation about Nyx.  

“What’s wrong?” Feyre asked, she could feel his distress.

He could lie and tell her he was fine. Part of him wanted to; he didn’t want to worry Feyre. Still, she would have the truth from him one way or another. Rhys stood up from the chair and walked over to the fireplace in the corner of the room.

“Nyx is seven.”

“I know, we just had his party today” Feyre said, a bit confused.

“Next year he’ll be eight.” It was all Rhys could manage and then showed her an image of his own eighth birthday. He turned to look at her, their eyes met, and he knew she understood.

“Oh” Feyre said, “I know you’ve told me that you went to the camps that young. Is it odd I’ve never thought about it when it comes to Nyx.”

“You weren’t raised with these customs. I have been dreading how to bring this up for a while now” Rhysand admitted.

Feyre rolled her eyes; she should have known that.

“I should ask why you didn’t tell me about that, but I already know the reason why.”

Feyre knew he would rather carry the burden and worry himself than share it. She loved that about him, how much he cared for others. She also hated it; they should carry burdens together not apart.

“Why did you dread it?”

“I… I don’t know what to do” Rhys said to her, looking into her clear blue eyes. “I want to give our son the best of everything, but is sending him the best? Or is allowing him to be trained here?”

“Cassian could train him here” Feyre stated.

“Yes, Cassian brought it up to me at the party. Whether we would send him or keep him here.”

“What did you say?” Feyre asked, her voice slightly higher than she would have liked it. She knew Rhysand wouldn’t take her son from her, but the fear of separation bubbled under her skin.

“We don’t have to send him” Rhysand said quickly “I would never send him without you agreeing.”

“But if we don’t send him…” Feyre trailed off. She already knew the answer, the Illyrians would never respect her son if he wasn’t trained by them. If he didn’t participate in the blood rite.  

“Nothing.”

“Rhys, we have to think logically about this, as much as it pains us” Feyre implored, “Nyx is our heir. Think about why your mother sent you, she could see beyond her own pain.”

Rhysand sighed.

“When my mother sent me, I thought she was cruel at first. I hated it for a while, being at the camps. I had been raised in The House of Wind; every comfort was provided. My first night at the camps was difficult. I was so afraid, so alone, I was sleeping in a rough cot, with none of the comforts I had been used to. Worse, I didn’t understand how she could turn her back on me.”

“And now?”

“I think sending me off to the camps was the best thing she ever did. She never turned her back on me, she was always with me. My mother ensured I had what was needed, not what I wanted.” Rhysand admitted, “It brought me Cassian and Azriel, and it allowed me to know all my strength. I wouldn’t be who I am today if she had let me be brought up in Velaris.”

Rhys had choked out the last few words. It was still hard for him to talk about his mother. It brought up painful memories.

Feyre reached her hand out to grab his.

“Your mother did everything because she loved you.”

“I know.”

“She would want her grandson to be raised in her customs” Feyre said.

“She would have loved him” Rhysand said, imagining his mother doting over his son. Rhys could imagine the scene clearly, his mother helping teach Nyx to fly. Jumping off a window ledge with him, just as she had done with him.   

“You could stay at the camps with him” Rhysand said softly, his heart screaming at the thought of Feyre being away from him.

Feyre shook her head. The choice put before her was too unbearable; stay here in Velaris or be with her son.

“It wouldn’t be forever” Rhys went on, seeing the pain in her face “it would be for eight years, we could manage that.”

He told her once he would wait a thousand years for her, and that was still true. What was eight years when they had millennials together.

“I would go, eight years isn’t forever. Plus, I think you’d find a way to visit a lot more than necessary” Feyre smiled, “but this isn’t just about me and you, or about my desires as a mother.”

Rhysand nodded, he knew that her obligations to The Night Court were extensive, far more then his mothers had been. His father had made her Lady of the Night Court, but never allowed her to rule. He didn’t even seem to care that she took off with her son to the Illyrian mountains.

Feyre couldn’t leave Velaris, not with everything they were trying to achieve.

Feyre dropped his hand and collapsed over in her chair. They were quiet for a moment, until Rhys broke the silence.

“A thought for a thought?” Rhysand asked.

Feyre smiled up at him, he loved it when she smiled. It reminded him of the first time he saw it, at Starfall.

“I’m thinking of the first time I hunted. I was so young, freezing, starving… I had this makeshift bow and arrow. I had watched for a while the hunters make snares and catch animals. Still, I was so afraid, I thought a bear might eat me or I might pass out from hunger. I didn’t want to go, I barely knew what I was doing.

“Nobody taught me how to hunt, to survive… nobody ever did or thought of what was best for me” Feyre’s words were a whisper now, “I’ve forgiven everyone, I’ve moved on, but still I wonder how different things would have been for me if someone had thought about what was best for me.”

“I wish I could have been there for you then” Rhysand stated. While he had learned to live peacefully with Nesta and Elain, part of him would always be closed off to them. Feyre might be able to forgive them for what they didn’t do, but he could never forgive someone who made her suffer.

“You’ve always been there for me” Feyre said, knowing the shadows that had been over her shoulder all those years ago were him, peering into her mind and life. “Your turn”

“I’m thinking… of my father.”

Feyre’s face looked confused.

“He was High Fae; his mother had been a member of The Court of Nightmares. Everyone respected him, admired him, loved him even. Keir didn’t put on an act when my father visited, he embraced him as one of them. The Court of Nightmares doesn’t respect me, when my father was alive, they openly called me half breed.

“And I know what Keir thinks of you, and what he must think of Nyx. When Nyx becomes High Lord he will have trouble with them, he’s more Illyrian then even I am.”

Feyre scrunched up her face attempting to do the math and then decided it didn’t matter.

“He needs the Illyrians to respect him, and he needs to know his power” Feyre said, “if he never is trained by them, he won’t be.”

They were silent again, knowing what must be done.

“It might not be all bad” Feyre said trying to make the best of it “Rhys you said it yourself, it brought you Cassian and Azriel. We would be lucky if Nyx found such friends.”

“I want that for him. I want him to learn how to control his powers, learn how to fly, I want him to win the blood rite, and to have friends as dear to him as my brothers on” Rhys said “but I hate the idea of being separated from him, from him thinking I’ve abandoned him, that I don’t want him”

“He’ll never think that” Feyre insisted “You are not your father, Nyx adores you.”

Rhysand smiled, but it did not meet his eyes.

“We can visit, and we will visit often” Feyre said, standing up coming close to him “I want him to have the best and if this is what is best, we must give it to him. Even if it hurts us.”

Rhysand thought of his mother, of her walking away from him at the camps. How her heart must have stung not turning around as he cried out to her.

Rhysand nodded, bringing Feyre into his arms.

“Next year, will take him to the camps” Rhysand said, “One more year.”

[schizononagesimus]

Griddlehark Cry Counter - 3rd November, 2024

09.25- starting the morning strong.