#072524

[blueheartboys]

TALK TALK - sebastian and chris reunion edition

[source-xooos]

xooos_ Blue with LA🩵

[hash-tag-official]

daronghada

[dorothy-rothy]

rothy_ming 울 히에💗 바쁜데 와줘서 너무 고마옹..ㅜㅜ At @studiobutton_ #휴닝바히에#HUENING_BAHIYYIH #케플러#kep1er#로시#Rothy #HAPPY_END

[shepherdsdiary]

It sucks when you reach out to others with love and interest and companionship in your mind and that is initially returned somewhat, but only so long as you maintain the initiative.

I don't mean like... the maintenance of it from day to day. That's easy! I'm always interested. I always ask. I'll start conversations.

I mean that... like... I *always* start the conversations. Or close enough to always that it's statistically inaccurate to say otherwise.

How do you find others that are actually interested in you? How do you attract, foment, inspire, or otherwise garner that interest? I'm not... unattractive. Am I intimidating? Am I so different? What have I said or done that dissuades others from trying to be my friend?

I mean fuck. It's happened a few times. Outta the blue someone says hi. How are ya doin. Who are you and what are you all about? I think I like that, wanna get to know me too?

It's not like it's *never* happened. But results and experience have shown that damn near every time it's been another's prerogative, they've only sought to take advantage of me or got bored with me or found out that I'm quick to take the initiative in conversations and just... stopped.

I've even tried doing a bit of that myself. Not wholly or completely. I mean allowing the other person to talk to me. Allowing for them to take the initiative.

There are people I still haven't heard back from.

There are plenty of people I've just dropped altogether.

There are so many that just... don't actually talk to me. With me. Share with me. About me.

I wanna be the focus. For once. For the span of a conversation maybe. Can we not talk about you? Can we not talk about how what I'm doing helps you grow in some way? Can we not talk about your spiritual journey or your day or your love interests or your fucking hobbies?

Can we talk about how i feel about my own things? In a way that doesn't immediately inspire you to regale me with an anecdote that turns the conversation back around to talking about you? In a way that doesn't immediately inspire you to tell me how what I'm saying reminds you of this other person that's more important to you than I am?

Can you not ask my advice on your life and instead be actually interested in me?

I know the moment I start talking you'll shut off and go to that place you go when you're applying my wisdom to your issues.

I know that place and I hate that place sometimes. I hate that place a lot of times. It means I will not actually be a part of this conversation anymore. It means I am a tool now. Your tool.

I love helping. I do. I love you. I love my life and my calling and this wisdom. I love.

Can you please also see love when you look at me?

[bluejeanjay]

072524 dan howell i love you

[onefivetwo]

cropped from jasonwaltphoto ig story (reposted by john) | 072524

"Just a couple guys bein' dudes. (@)thejohnnolan + (@)adamdamnlazzara (@)takingbacksunday"

[cisumraluos]

Daily WOW - 072524

[oneeachday]

072524

[adalynnlove]

072524 - SIZL

This photo is sponsored by SIZL! TELEPORT TO SIZL MAINSTORETELEPORT TO THE STATEMENT ARENA Chloe Top & Skirt (worn on Reborn)—>Available at The Statement Arena from July 27th through August 15th—>Fit for the following bodies & mods: Anatomy, GenX Classic & Curvy, LaraX + PetiteX, Legacy, Peach, Reborn + Waifu.—>Grandpack come with HUDs for the top and the skirt. The top HUD has 8 color choices…

[raspodcast]

RAS #650 - Claim 22

https://traffic.libsyn.com/ronsamazingstories/RAS650-Claim-072524.mp3 On Ron’s Amazing Stories this time we open with a review of the mystery novel Stranger in the Woods by Anni Taylor. We follow that up with three stories sent in by you for you! A donkey has a mind of his own, Cody tells his strange story of disembodied red eyes, and Angela tells a frightening tale of a malevolent ghost. We end…

[blueheartboys]

[hash-tag-official]

loveji.ya 기다리다 목 빠지겠네 🥹

[mareahfairalanah]

anyway, don’t be a stranger. (072524)

[shepherdsdiary]

I can't help but care. Immensely and deeply. In a way that really does me a big hurt when something sucks. When someone looks to hurt me. When they don't even know they can. It is me. It will always be me.

Soft.

I avoid deep relationships. I sabotage good ones. I take a back seat in many things and then feel upset when I've found that someone has either taken that to mean I want distance, or decided that means they don't need to care about me. When I discourage questions or the other person just doesn't care enough to ask.

I'm getting much better about that though. Or at least I'm trying. It's hard not to just... smile and feel love for someone that matters to me. Look at them and trust them. Sometimes this makes me kinda passive in asserting what I want or how I want to be treated. I don't see what or how the person can take advantage of me. I don't expect them to. I don't want them to, but like... I have to trust you.

It takes work to maintain your vulnerability to the world around you. It takes effort and pain and it *always* hurts. It hurts to do it and it hurts to maintain it and it hurts when people don't even see it. It hurts when you're taken advantage of.

It hurts to have others turn something about you into something about themselves or someone else. It hurts when you say one thing about yourself and the response treats you as though you don't exist, or exist solely as a sounding board for the other person's inner monologue.

Do you know how fucking hard it is to open up sometimes? To make clear and bold statements about oneself? To even just make a joke or an observation on something you do that you're insecure about? Do you know how hard healing is?

I know that I have unhealthy habits. I've been hurt and traumatized and betrayed by damn near everyone I've shared intimacy with. I'm growing out of them. I'm healing them. And I played a part in that betrayal and that trauma. I allowed it to happen. Im a victim of these circumstances, sure, but whether ignorant or nieve or otherwise compliant, I allowed those betrayals. I allowed others to treat me this way.

And I'm not blameless.

Anyway. I'm venting. And healing. I need these thoughts out of my head. They need to be said.

They need to be said because... and I guess this is the part that actually makes that all hurt so badly...

I am not discouraged. I am not done. I am not beaten. I am not dead. And so long as there is breath in me I will continue to care and feel love and REMAIN vulnerable. It is the only way to truly live. Open and receiving and willing and full of love for the world around you. No matter how much it hurts.

Cuz when it doesn't hurt, it's bliss. When someone else comes along and cares about you, it's heaven. It's an unfathomable transcendence to find someone as willing and eager as yourself to become intimate and close and responsive and to reciprocate and share.

Anyway. I love you. I feel love when I look at you. When I interact with you. When I hear your soul sing it's song. I always will. I am filled with it. And yeah, I mean you.

-Lea

[baerwulf]

072524 0600hrs Moon is over Syracuse NY before the Rising Sun!!