#0 ;; the fool — rambling and imagines

[devourable]

darling who cheats on tests/exams x sterling who found out and blackmails them over it. what do we think ab that

[l3viat8an]

I dunno if Tumblr auto-closes anons after a limit or something, or if you do, since yesterday I'd tried to send a second thing soon after the first but it flatout refused to send for some reason? & When I reloaded your asks were closed even tho I thought you were offline- ANYWAY I'm still newish to Tumblr / not on that often so I have no clue 😓

Anyways to the ask thing 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

So imagine if MC reads manga a lot, but like. Digitally. So when they find silly frames they'll sometimes just randomly send one to one of the brothers with no explanation (Levi gets ALL the silly / low quality / "wtf is that expression lmaooo" panels/snippets bc ✨manga frennnnsss✨ & the other brothers would mainly get frames that remind MC of them)

Like

(to mammon)

"us fr

"

(affectionately, we are both silly little fools and we amplify our foolery by existing)

ANYWAY

Also

Imagine MC rambling to Levi about the mangas they're reading & like. If they're talking in person then Levi & MC just keep cutting eachother off/interrupting bc ":0 that reminds me of (other manga)" & we're just buzzing w/ energy bc WOOO shared interests & only we can actually understand eachother /hj

If they're talking over text then MC & Lev just have like 4 different conversations at once bc of the similarities/mental brain connections lead to more mental brain connections and

You CANNOT tell me that if MC mentioned the manga(s) they're reading to Levi, Levi would not ask or be curious or start rambling about his own mangas

So anyway Levi would probably also send MC silly manga panels & they just end up w/ multiple conversations happening at once bc of it (I have legitimately held 3 different conversations with one person at the same time over text bc of mental connections to other things)

I think Levi has like. Actual paper mangas tho so he'd probably find the manga he's reading online to take a screenshot of the silly panel, OR would just take a picture of the manga itself lol

It’s more like my ask box hates me 💀 apparently it just isn’t there sometimes- there isn’t a limit or anything I know of.

I collect manga and read online a LOT so I have sooo many low quality / silly panels it’s ridiculous helsphsks sending Levi any goofy/silly panels and he just sends you back one he found earlier and was waiting to share lolol

Jsjsjsj that is absolutely MC and Mammon tho- two total fools!!!-

Any manga / ‘this is us’ stuff you send to Lucifer and he just replies with ‘If you say so.’ even tho he’s smiling like a fool all alone in his office-

lil off topic but Satan would send back ‘this is us’ and cuddling / sweet / goofy cat pics!!!

Levi and MC matching energy and having five different conversations in one anytime they talk about their special interests because it’s just so exciting, because someone finally gets it!!! Going back and forth about 8 different manga / animes at once because of the ‘oh! I just remembered (related thing)!!!’

[fan-art-ic]

Someone sent this ask to a blogger I like and they didn't bite, so I WILL

Gotham dream blunt rotation as rated:

Poison Ivy might seem an obvious choice at first, but she swears she can still hear the plant screaming inside your blunt, so if she isn't already hitting you dead the vibe has been killed: 3/10

Catwoman would steal all your weed and wrap a tighter blunt then you can imagine she would bring out wine spritzers and cheeses as the snack so it's fun but you will have to go buy a new ⅛ as soon as you leave, you will be starting to crush on her but she will talk about batman the whole time: 7/10

Harley Quinn would make those crazy ass joints that are like spider shaped and she would get toasted but youd get so couchlocked it'd be like a million years passed when you come to she's smoking a second spider and you have hyena drool on you: 5/10

Kite Man rips huge beefy clouds of smoke, spends half his evil plan budget on buying a gravity bong, has a shitty hideout in his parents basement, but his mom is really nice and can out-rip her son and she would bring some apple slices and water down for snacking: 6/10

Two-Face would have been a total weenie as Harvey pre accident and never touched the stuff, but after he will occasionally light up because he enjoys how both of his sides will shut up and he can think for a second. Doesn't care if it's shitty buds or premo flower it's whatever the nearest lackey has so you will be hacking up a lung either way. Spends the whole time telling you to be quiet when you try to chat: 4/10

Bruce would suck the only people he might be good in a rotation is wonder woman and superman, anyone else he is just silent the whole time and ignoring everyone to look at his phone, will sometimes double and triple hit before passing: 3/10

Stephanie stole her dad's weed as a teenager and is really bad at rolling blunts, but if you tease her, she will finger taze you, would have a whole set-up for a rotation set up with pillows and candles and bowls of chips, she either gets very mellow or gets really wild so it's a flip for if you're going to watch pirated movies or go roam the aisles of walmart: 8/10

Tim would act like a weed conneisur since Stephanie lit him up, but he'd be the type of guy you could give a weed a fancy name and sell it for $50 extra and he wouldn't even blink, rarely rotates but if he does he is punctual and never double hits, will ramble on and on about computer specs and graphic cards, will give you the last hit even though he wants it: 6/10 but only because sometimes Tim gets weird vibes

Alfred hits weed made for elephants its so strong he does it for muscle and joint pain at night so he won't share ever and if you ask he will act like he has no idea what you're talking about, if somehow you can get him to share it will be in the form of a weed cookie and when I tell you they're strong you will be seeing god: 0/10 or 7/10 depending

Jason tried marijuana but didn't like how it made his head feel and his hands shake and he could barely read so it pisses him off. If the blunt in question was a joint made of more tobacco than weed than he might sit in, but otherwise he is video taping other people being fools for future blackmail: 2/10

Dick smoked major weed with the Teen Titans when they were all a team the first time, he has exquisite taste but won't overpay but gets solid middle of the road shit everytime so you won't be ass blasted, but you will be laughing more which is why he loves rotations the communal act of passing, leaning in close to people, everyone getting loose and happier, he loves it and will totally make everyone custom snack plates: 10/10

Cass would try it with Steph or Dick, but she wouldn't like it in the end, would be a big fan of edibles though she'd like the floatiness and using it for sleep: 0/10 but not for lack of effort

[an-army-of-nightmares]

*cracks knuckles* it's 1am and I'm in the middle of (failing) playing a video game but,,

Mlp tgs >:]

Ough I have Many disconnected thoughts and aus about this and I'm about to ramble to you about All of the them

To start, Jekyll + Hyde are alicorns. He accidentally scienced a bit too strongly and suddenly woke up as now technically the prince of (rogue) science lol. I'm not sure what Jekyll was originally as they're all really good options for him,, OUGH If not alicorn then kirin. Part kirin? Poor man is going to feel he has even more reason to suppress his emotions

Rachel is a pegasus! Or, if we want to expand a bit, a Griffin perhaps? ;0

Jasper is an earth pony :]

Lanyon is a pegasus. But the other options are also v good for him

Frankenstein,, ough,, idk, earth pony speaks to me right now. Unicorn is also good

I like to imagine the lodgers are all sorts of different creatures, kinda like the friendship school. Hehe, Griffin being a griffin, ough or a changling

.

In a mlp au where, while in the same universe, they don't live in the area or time where g4 takes place- and are thus more similar to the tgs world

(If hes an alicorn) Jekyll hides he's an alicorn because "On the one hoof, being the alicorn of science would be great for the society's reputation. On the other. Technically turning myself into an alicorn could be considered blasphemy or an attempt to usurp the throne,,,,"

.

In a mlp au where they are in the same time and place and g4 mlp-

This one is also more silly and character interaction focused because I can't imagine mlp to be condemning the use of mad science, since that's basically magic. They do still have a problem with the whole stitching together corpses thing though. And splitting your soul in half

Jeks has done something with it before I believe, but I really like the idea of Jekyll and Twilight being related. Cousins? Distant cousins? Niece and uncle? Idk, but they're related somehow :] They both went to Celestia's magic school in Canterlot, probably not at the same time though, since I imagine Henry is much older.

Hyde likes to run around being a menace, and if alicorn, might have genuinely fooled a few into believing The Spirit of London Canterlot at Night is some aspect of nightmare moon lol

Jasper came from Ponyville to Canterlot and is actually a were timber wolf! He still worked on the farm. Though I'm not sure if the Apple farm or an unrelated one. If related to the Apple family. Then Japser leaving after getting his Not apple themed cutie mark definitely gave Apple Bloom some extra fears in that one episode where she thought not having an apple cutie mark would get her kicked off the farm (Jasper didn't actually get kicked off the farm)

Jasper and Fluttershy are best friends :] at least pen pals

Lanyon's family would definitely be the type of ponies that go the the grand galloping gala everytime it started up again. The night the main 6 "ruined" the gala was definitely in the top best days of his life. Of the main 6 I think Lanyon would hang out with,, hmm, Twilight? The others might be too energetic for him. But Twilight reminds him of Jekyll. She also isn't too proper and fancy. I think Lanyon would also like Rarity, but at first he immediately hated her. There'd be an episode where they're forced to work together and he realizes that she isn't all that bad

.

In a mlp au where ponies enter the tgs universe. or it could still be tgs in the mlp universe. Um *hands you a crackship*

One of my favorite things about being in this already pretty tight knit fandom is finding niches in them that feel like they cater to my brainrot specifically….

Anyways @jeks-tgs @bindi-the-skunk @an-army-of-nightmares

Wanna brainrot over mlp tgs-

(Sorry for the ping but y’all are cool and I feel like we’d have a grand ol time chatting about it-)

[srirachvbi]

Sakusa and Ushijima bringing their kids to practice Headcanons !

requested by anon: Um hi idk if you write for them so you can totally ignore this . Um can I ask for sakusa and ushijima (or one of them it's up to you) bringing their kids to practice bc the reader was called into work ??? Like Sakusa with his little boy and ushijima with his son and daughter. Sorry you can ignore this 

a/n: ignore this?? absolutely not LMAO i love this idea. tsym for requesting anon! hopefully, headcanons are okay for this! also sorry that ushijima’s is a little shorter-- i wasn’t quite sure what else to write <3

warnings: manga spoilers 

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

This dude was like 👁👄👁 when you called him only half an hour into practice to ask

They were on a water break after doing a bunch of drills and his phone lit up with your contact picture

Atsumu: Aw Omi Omi, that’s a cute picture of you two~

Kiyoomi: I will literally end you ❤️

Anyways he grabs his phone and stalks off to get away from the team since he knew they would eavesdrop if he stayed that close

The second he answered the phone, you started rambling and like begging for forgiveness so he was just “???”

Y/N: Yoomi! I swear I’ll make dinner for the next week and-- and I’ll uhhh... buy all of the groceries and cleaning supplies for a while and-- and

Kiyoomi: tf are you going on about?

Y/N: Is it okay if I drop Hi-chan off with you? ... I got called into work and the nanny’s busy...

He goes silent for a second, which makes you start to freak out because you were out of options for who to call

Your parents were on a cruise which both you and Kiyoomi got them for their 30th anniversary so they won’t home and your siblings lived on the other side of the country

Kiyoomi’s parents were too busy and so was his older siblings

So

He was your final resort

After a few seconds he just kind of laughs quietly and sighs

Kiyoomi: yeah, you can bring Hito-kun here

Y/N: your hand in marriage pls ❤️

Kiyoomi: ...

He justs SIGHS and hangs up cause he’s tired of your bullshit ❤️

He’ll pocket his phone and go up to the coach and Meian to ask if it’s okay if his kid sits in during practice and they’re perfectly fine with that

LMAO Atsumu, Bo, and Hinata eavesdropping and being like “tiny Sakusa??????”  

Fifteen minutes later, you pop into the gym with Hitoshi (not the bnha character LMAO) and Hinata and Bokuto both go “TINY OMI-KUN!!!!”

Oh my god when I tell you Sakusa almost had an aneurysm when they started to run towards you and his son, i mean it

he literally went from one side of the gym to in front of you two with the most disgusted look on his face

Hito’s pretty similar to Sakusa as in like... he hates germs so when he saw those two sweaty adults running towards him he just

Hito: due to personal reasons, i will be passing away now ❤️

Bo and Hinata are trying to get near Hito, but Sakusa just completely blocks them 

Y/N: thank you for taking care of Hi-chan, Yoomi :(

Kiyoomi: I had nothing against taking care of him in the first place, idiot

Anyways, you realize the time and literally sprint out of there to get to work

Bokuto: Mini Omi-kun! HI!!!

Hito:  👁👄👁 you’re so sweaty pls don’t touch me sir ❤️

Bo goes :(( but recovers when Hito apologizes after seeing how sad he got

Cause even tho Sakusa wouldn’t apologize, Hito was also raised by you and he’s a kid so he just kind of gets all flustered

Hito pats his shoulder to try and comfort him and Bo goes “!!” and like picks up the poor boy

At first, Hito is TERRIFIED but after a few seconds, he starts giggling and enjoying himself

Sakusa was about to kill him but then he saw his little son all happy and his heart clenched

After a few minutes of fooling around with Hito, they start practice again since they can’t spend the whole day just fooling around with the little Sakusa lol

The whole time while they’re doing drills (or smth idk how professional volleyball practice is LMAO), Hito’s standing next to Coach Foster and his eyes are so bright and big

He’s super excited to see his dad play because he hadn’t gone to that many games (Sakusa said that there were too many germs and that he’d get sick)

So to see his dad going like “BLAM” with the ball was like “!!” 

They do a game of 2v2 and he’s cheering so loud for his dad it’s so cute

Hinata and Atsumu are on a team together and they’re sitting on the sidelines with Hito until they get to play

Hito getting super excited and energetic when he sees his dad playing volleyball so he asks them about the players :((( 

Stop I can just imagine a tiny sakusa with more energy just being so cute

Practice finally ends for the day and Sakusa walks out of the locker room and Hito’s like “DAD!!!!!!!” and runs towards him

Sakusa’s soft for his son so he chuckles and picks him up

Hito: you were so cool!!!! You went like BLAM and BOOM!!

Sakusa, internally: oh god, i gave birth to another Hinata...

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

SO in this one you’re on a business trip for work and like.. the nanny cancelled on him the morning of so he was like “well, shit” 

But like not really cause he’d probably be nonchalant about it

His daughter, Riko is 3 and his son, Eiji is only a few months old so he comes into practice with a baby carrier and Hoshiumi’s like

>:0 !!!!!!!!

Hoshiumi: BABY USHIJIMA >:0 !!!!!

Riko’s super energetic unlike her father or her brother so she’s running around the second she walks into the gym and Ushijimas like  👁👄👁 cause he’s not quite sure if he should scold her or not 

Honestly, Ushijima would be so confused with kids cause he’s just... 

head full only volleyball

Normally you’re around and or the nanny so he’s not sure what to do LMAO

Riko’s unusually energetic and he’s pretty sure she got it from you lol

Romero sees Ushijima’s look of pure conflict and almost loses a lung from how hard he laughed

Ushijima may be super smart when it came to volleyball but it seems children is the next obstacle 

Riko and Hoshiumi somehow bond in hardly any time and suddenly Riko’s on his shoulders and they’re running around

chaotic duo, we stan 

Kageyama’s looking at the children with utter confusion

Omg Kageyama and Ushijima would both definitely be so confused with children

smh these volleyball idiots

Eventually, they actually have to start practice so Riko and baby Eiji were by the benches

Lmao Riko running onto court because she wants to play volleyball with her dad and Ushijima having a stroke

He’s bowing so low to the coaches because he just... doesn’t know what to do

it was hard enough to get them out of bed today 

It’s okay with everyone and Hoshiumi literally tries to pass the ball to Riko and Romero SCREAMS in fear

Romero’s definitely the savior of the day when it comes to the kids

Ushijima carries Riko off the court and the tiny bab was like >:0 !! When he sat her back down with Eiji

Riko: DAD >:0 !!!

Ushijima just asks her to stay on the bench but he doesn’t want to scold her 

She listens to him because she sees how conflicted he looks finally 

Lmao she tries to pass a ball to Eiji and Ushijima’s like “oh, oh god.”

Talking about Eiji, he starts crying and the coach just SIGHS and gives them a ten minute break

Ushijima losing ten years of his life as he tries to calm Eiji down

Hoshiumi: !! he wants to play volleyball too !!

Romero: Hoshiumi, no... please... 

Ushijima eventually calms the crying baby down and feeds him a bottle

Eiji ends up falling asleep after that tho so there’s no more issues with him for the rest of practice ❤️

It would be interesting to see Ushijima with his kids lolol

ANYWAYS

practice ends and Riko’s like “DAD!!! Teach me how to play volleyball now!!!” even though he’s already began

She’s a bit forgetful ❤️

Romero literally starts giving Ushijima tips and everything because he sees how confused he is

All of the other players listening as well because they’re interested

Professor Romero! 

Ushijima heads home with his two kids and he’s just listening to Riko ramble a lot and he’s happy

He was scared she wouldn’t like to be there and would throw a fit but similar to her father, she’s super excited about volleyball 

You call them on the way home and Riko’s like “MOM !! I WANNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL !!” 

You start giggling and you listen to her ramble for a while before asking her to give the phone to her dad

Ushijima: please never go on a business trip again ❤️

Y/N: aww, you miss me Waka-kun~

He hangs up

[ivyglow]

More than friends | Carter Hart

A/n: Sooo, I was supposed to be done with this piece before our win last night, but my laptop keeps stopping, and the new one only arrives this week, in the meantime I’m stuck with this one and taking longer than ever to write the requests. Anyway, thank you for the patience, and if you want to support my writing, you can always like, reblog and share my posts with a friend you think might like it.

Shout out to Tori for the amazing job proofreading this piece. You’re the best, @guentzgoal​

PS. The songs mentioned in this chapter are Hozier (work song) and Ed Sheeran (friends). 

Requested: Yes

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mention of Friday’s mess aka 5-0 against the Canadiens. 

Summary: You’re the media management to the Philadelphia Flyers, and during the bubble time, you get closer to Carter being the person he runs to after the terrible game that day. You two finally realize something more developed between the friendship.

When everything started to crumble down, he wished for you. He’d imagined that you were probably in your room cuddled up with a bunch of blankets listening to your Hozier-favorites playlist while sipping cold tea. Carter occasionally even wished for everything to be a nightmare, that he was just sleeping on your couch while you watched one of your favorite horror movies, any different situation would be better than the current disaster happening. 

He couldn’t help but blame himself for every little thing. 

He was the one that let the puck reach the net four times, he thought. 

Somehow his head made him sure of this thought when he was pulled off the ice to the bench. He was angry, afflict, and all he wanted was for the team to score at least once or twice, so the loss wouldn’t be as awful as it was feeling at the time. 

But as you would sometimes say to him, “das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” and even more than to hear your strange sayings, Carter liked to internalize them, because usually, they were great instructions for life. And to think that “life is no pony farm” was useful in times like this, it reminded him that it doesn’t matter how much he wished or worked, sometimes, it wasn’t meant to be. However, it didn’t erase your feelings, and that’s why he was fuming when he closed the door and went to the locker room. 

He tried to look unbothered enough to the media on the aftergame conversation, but on the inside, Carter was drowning in stress and guilt. During the drive back to the hotel, he thought about texting you to let you know he was crashing in your room that night, but he got carried away reading what people were thinking about his performance in the game. 

Most of them hated it.

And so did he.

Carter was thinking about how poorly he played when he knocked at your door, and you probably thought the same, but Carter wanted, no, he needed to see you and hear you, and he was sure you wouldn’t let him down. Your presence always did wonders for him and his self-esteem. He would probably hear “das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” for the hundredth time, talk about how shitty he was feeling and let you caress his hair, and only this itself would make his day a little better. 

When the door opened to show you wearing a bathrobe, Carter lost his air for a couple of seconds. The mop of curls wet sitting on the top of your head, the dark skin, long lashes, full lips...everything about you was perfect to him, and he cheesily thought that maybe in another lifetime you were his queen and he would bow and adore you like you were the most perfect thing to walk the earth. 

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her” Hozier was softly playing inside your room.  

Carter thought about what to say, but nothing seemed to be enough, nothing made justice to how he was feeling on the inside, but he knew by the look in your eyes that you understood everything, every little detail, every bruise, and every deep and shaky breath. 

You took the bag from his shoulders and dropped it on the side of the door, before grabbing his hand and bringing his body closer. You watched the whole game while working on some management reports, as part of the media management team. You wished you were there. Nevertheless, just like the hockey team, everyone had a specific task, and yours today was writing and studying some more essential ideas discussed previously. You were not expecting Carter to show up at your door so soon. You knew he would eventually come around, and Carter said himself that he preferred to be close to you whenever he felt bad because you knew exactly when to ramble about yourself to take his mind off whatever was bothering him and when to listen to him and give advice. 

As soon as his scent hit your nose, you closed your eyes and enjoyed the hug. He was warm, and his hair was still wet from the shower, the fabric of his suit brought some kind of comfort when it came in contact with your skin and all you wanted to do was hold him until all his anguish was over. 

“You’re okay, we’re okay,” you whispered, peppering kisses along the exposed skin of his neck and jaw, the available surfaces when you crushed against him. 

You felt Carter nod his head, before finally putting a small space between the two of you.

“I’m sorry I forgot to text you to ask if I could just show up and…”

“Hey, it’s fine, we’re friends, no need to stress over this. And yes, you can crash here tonight as long as nobody notices, you know,” you traced his nose and the crease in his eyebrows.

And as much as you noticed every little detail of him, you were not able to see the way his face twitched when you said “friends” because as much as he loved your friendship, he got himself wishing for more in times like these. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, dropping a kiss to your forehead.

You disappeared to take off the moisturizer from your hair, and Carter took the time to make himself comfortable by taking his jacket off along with his shoes, letting the blankets on the couch engulf his body. 

“Das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” you whispered when you came back. Now dressed in your pajamas and with your hair slightly damp, you lay beside your favorite goaltender on the couch. He dropped his head to your shoulders and made himself small, so you could take care of him the way he liked. And so with your favorite playlist playing and your fingers massaging gently at his scalp Carter fell asleep. 

He woke up with your voice distant, and a playlist still going, although it was not the Hozier one anymore. The room was darker than when he lay there, the only source of light coming from the open windows and one lamp, he noticed that you had lit a candle on the coffee table and that there was also a cup of water sitting there. 

Carter felt cared for and loved. He loved how your little details always made him feel better.

“I called room service, they’re getting our dinner here soon…” you appeared in the room again with your cellphone in your hands. “What’s up?” you asked, laying beside Carter one more time. 

The distance was little, and he thought about the way your friendship worked. It felt like more than friendship, and Carter took his time thinking about how he never sleeps with his friends like he sleeps with you. The way his friends cared about him but never the way you did. How he wanted to kiss you goodbye every time you parted ways and how he wished to just lay with you for as long as possible, just taking your scent in, enjoying your company, and your very specific playlists. 

“Hartsy?” you called again, confused with how he just zoned out. “Is everything okay? What are you thinking about?” 

He shifts on the couch, and now your faces are even closer. “Nothing...I was...this is a good song, never heard it.” 

You chuckled before directing your attention to the lyrics playing as background noise. Your heart did a little double-take, and you couldn’t help but turn your eyes to the face in front of yours.

“Friends just sleep in another bed, and friends don't treat me like you do. Well, I know that there's a limit to everything, but my friends won't love me like you. No, my friends won't love me like you.” 

You shivered when his thumb found your chin bringing your face even closer. It slipped through your face drawing little dots connecting every far end. You enjoyed the feeling, and though his hands were calloused, the pad of his fingertips felt soft and comfortable against your skin.

“Are we friends, or are we more?” his voice was so low you were sure if you weren’t staring at his lips, you would not understand. 

And when his thumb found your lips opening slightly, you closed your eyes, too overwhelmed with the new sensations to bother with an answer. You wanted him to crash the space between your lips and finally dive in, you wanted him to be more than friends, and you wanted to comfort him after everything. 

You wanted Carter and Carter only. 

You wanted to be more than friends.

Carter tested the waters by dipping his face and caressing your nose with his. He liked the way your faces seemed to fit in place, and he was determined to kiss you when the bell rang loudly in your room. 

“I have a saying for this,” you breathed out, wanting to laugh about the situation. “Aller Anfang ist schwer.” 

“And what does that mean?” 

“I’ll let you know later,” you fooled before getting up and going to answer the door.

Your legs were like jelly, and your mind was working at a fast pace, but still, you tried to keep composure.

Eating dinner after that interaction shouldn’t be easy, but it was for you and Carter, so he handled it so well it made you even more sure about how much you liked him. It wasn’t a real talkative dinner, but considering that hours prior, Carter was like a sad puppy, to see him smiling shyly at you was a victory. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asked when you finished. 

“You already did,” you tried to mess with him, and Carter rolled his eyes before getting on the couch again. “Of course you can, Hartsy.” 

And so the rest of the night was just you and Carter randomly talking and listening to your playlist. He didn’t ask his question again, and neither did you, but you knew he was thinking about it when you went to bed. Especially laying there side by side. 

You were used with his naked chest and with his sleep pants, but it felt different that night, and the question keeps replaying in your head. So this time, you were the one to voice it. 

“Are we friends?” you turned to him. 

Carter sat in front of you, grabbing your hands. His fingers were cold against your palm, and you shivered one more time that day. 

“We’ve been ‘friends’ like this for more than a year, and even though I don’t know the turning point I know we are more than that and have been for a long time now,” his voice was firm like he was sure about what he was saying as he thought about it before. Your eyes dropped to your intertwined fingers, and you took a long breath before Carter started talking again. “Friends just sleep in another bed, and friends don’t treat me like you do...everything my friends do to me feels different when it comes to you.” 

It was the blink of an eye before your lips were connected, and you tried containing the growing smile between your lips. Carter’s lips were soft against yours, he felt like a summer day, one you waited a whole year for, and when it finally happened, it felt surreal. It wasn’t weird kissing him. It wasn’t odd sleep laying on top of him that night because it felt natural, it wasn’t anything new for the two of you. You were friends at the start, sure, but at some point, it turned into more, and you both handled it like it was only a friendship. You were happy to finally realize it had been more between each word, each interaction, each cheek kiss, and hug.  

Sleep came easy that night, for you and him. 

And even though his severe loss earlier, Carter felt valid.

You were there, you were his number one fan winning or losing, and he was happy he got to have a stable relationship with you. 

“Do you have a saying for that?” he asked jokingly.

“Unfortunately, no,” you held his face close, lips centimeters away. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to spend time with sayings when I can spend time kissing you,” you confessed.

He chuckles, “Suddenly, life feels like a pony farm.” 

You can find more of my work here

[2ofswords]

I cannot draw but I still wanted to bother everyone with assigning Tarot cards for the Patho Characters. It just combines two fixations of mine and so I absolutely couldn’t resist. First and obvious disclaimer: Since I am only doing the major arkana and I have some more abstract concepts for the cards not every important NPC is assigned a card. I tried to include as many as I can by making some groupstuff but not everybody made it. Sorry Grief, I still love you!

Here is just the list, some ramblings and explanations are under the cut. (Btw. this is after the Rider Waite deck, since there are other tarot variations)

0 The Fool - Tragedian I The Magician - Isidor II The High Priestess - Clara III The Emperor - Big Vlad IV The Empress - Capella V The Hierophant - Khan VI The Lovers - The Saburovs VII The Chariot - Block VIII Justice - Dankovsky IX The Hermit - Rubin X Wheel of Fortune - Victor + Clockwork XI Strength - Notkin + Jester XII The Hanged Man - Eva + Cathedral XIII Death - Executor / Murky’s Friend XIV Temperance - Artemy XV The Devil - Immortell + The Theater XVI The Tower - Polyhedron + The Stamatins XVII The Star - Lara XVIII The Moon - Maria XIX The Sun - Sticky and Murky XX Judgement - Aglaya  XXI The World - The Town

The Fool: I mean... not much to say here. I wanted to include some more abstract and general things, since I couldn’t bare to put anything but the town itself as the world. And the Tragedians are such an important part of Pathologic that fit the Fool quite well. 

The Magician: Isidor just has this role as a powerful figure and this “controlling the forces of nature” thing that the magician has going on. And he has a face which at least makes including him in a deck... doable. Not that it really matters here but even inner visualization is fun. Btw. I also had this image of Rubin as a Magician where the table on the Rider Waite deck is the autopsy table with Simon on it. That was nice but Rubin as a character just makes for a better Hermit and again, I think Isidor is a nice fit as an important power figure with mystical inclinations and this controlling aspect. If we want to include a character that is alive in the game, Georgiy and his house in the crucible would also be a good fit.

The High Priestess: Again one I find easy to justify. The High Priestess as the person inclined to the mystical nature behind things works really well for Clara. Also the high priestess is considered to have the highest mythological value in Tarot, so this is kind of nice. Clara has a lot of Cards that fit her, but this one is a position not a lot of other characters fit into. Another person I could see as the High Priestess is Aspity though.

The Emperor: I once wanted to have the head of every ruling family here, to also include Gerorgiy in the deck but then I got a big problem with the lovers and the lack of canon relationships to represent it, so we only get him. That’s fine too, even if I would love to exclude him in favour of some characters, I appreciate more.

The Empress: Capella fits perfectly and I kind of like to keep this cards to the Olgymski’s, because it does make for a nice connection in between. But the nurturing way of ruling is nicely represented by her.

The Hierophant: Khan is also a person of mystical inclinations and also a very strict keeper of secrets that fits with the Hierophant. He is a leader and having him next to Capella in the Arkana also fit quite well, so I like him in this spot a lot.

The Lovers: Again, the lovers are kind of a character set, so having multiple here was just a nice touch. I think Saburov and Katerina are the only couple that really fit for me, since their love for each other is a very important aspect of their characterization while most other characters are very independent. (There is an amazing version of the Saburovs as the lovers by Yura btw.) I have discussed a patho tarot and there was also Clara brought up as a possibility but that could have been interpreted visually in a bad way… Still I think the theme of connection and love would also fit her quite well.

The Chariot: The army arrives with the train which already made this quite fitting just by imagining the card. Also including the Canon which is, driving the plot and time forward by brute force. (After all the army strike marks the end of the game.) His arrival and appearance in the game just marks a “point of no return” driving the game to it’s conclusion, so it’s a nice reference for him. Character-wise there might be better fits for him but… I don’t know I think it fits the narrative.

Justice: Yeah, I know, weird fit for Dankovsky. To be honest, if I could decide freely my favourite place for him would have been “The Fool” but I really wanted to include the Tragedian and that one literally only fits there and it’s pretty much perfect. And I wanted to have the Polyhedron for the Tower (and the Stamatins fit there also quite well), while giving all healers their own space, so that was also taken… Justice is my third option for him. I think it still fits, especially with the opening and the “You will act justly but the justice will blind you and become his demise” Also the visual of blindfolding him can also be a nice metaphor. ^^

The Hermit: Come on, Rubin just makes for a great Hermit! His whole way of dealing with the plague has a “lone wolf” vibe and he has this silent wisdom and knowledge. Also a lot of self-contemplation even if it mostly consists of him thinking that he is a bad person. God, now I have made myself sad for Rubin yet again…

Wheel of Fortune: I just couldn’t shake the image of Victor and one of the game saving Clocks for this one so this it is! I mean, a Clock as a wheel of Fortune just makes sense, especially in a game where time is of the essence and the rather abstract card also fits the Kains. There are some other cool options though, involving either Grief and his gear filled warehouse or the fellow traveller with dice (though this also would be a brilliant death card)

Strength: Artemy could also be a strong contender for this one, but I wanted to include Notkin and his connection to animals fits rather nicely. His way of applying force but also being tender and caring fits the card well, I think.

The Hanged Man: Again, one of the cards where I just couldn’t shake the image and Eva barely hanging onto the cathedral’s railing with her foot will now haunt me forever. I could also see Yulia for this one though since she has a rather contemplative way of thinking that is about dealing with one’s fate while bearing and contemplating it.

Death: Again, if we include some more abstract characters there is just no way around the Executors and Death is just a no brainer for them. They are literally a costume for death in game. The fellow Traveller could obviously work as well.

Temperance: I have seen a card with Artemy as Temperance by sneez and it just blew my mind since the card fits him perfectly and since then I just cannot imagine him as anything else (even if I have also seen some amazing versions with him as strength and this is also a very fitting card). His whole attitude being about preserving and offering stability is just amazing. Also it is a card about upholding duty so… heck yeah!

The Devil: I will be honest with you, I am not satisfied with putting Mark Immortell and the Theatre here. It is fitting but a bit too much on the nose and I think it lets the theatre appear a bit blander than it is. I just have literally no other idea about what to do with the devil. Also I wanted to include the theatre and both my other spots – judgement and wheel of fortune – where kind of occupied… At least you can use the image to maybe chain Mark to either the puppet versions of the main characters or to the tragedians and have the whole “who is controlling who?” thing in there, which is also nice.

The Tower: I definitely wanted to use the Polyhedron there. The Stamatins can be here too. Firstly because I just tried to fit more characters into the deck and secondly because forcing things to be broken in order to be rebuild is kind of their thing. It still has the tower theme with them and is not only “look! It’s a tower! For the… Tower!”

The Star: Lara is a very nurturing and also honest person which fits the star very well. It is a card about harmony and selflessness but still has a rather nocturnal side, which is also nice. Also the Rider Waite deck shows a woman getting spring water, which fits her fabled barrel quest and her hunt for supplies to give to other people.

The Moon: I mean the moon exactly has the vibe that fits Maria and the mistresses in general. It is about inner power, dreams and inner darkness, which fits the Scarlet mistress. It also links to her mother the mistress of the night quite well.

The Sun: A bright card and a card that literally shows children, so including Sticky and Murky here might be simple but is also quite nice. I think they would make for a very cute and happy card and god, we need some of them here!

Judgement: Aglaya often gets the justice card but that one was already taken. I also kind of think that judgement fits her slightly better, since she is the person judging the situation and her giving out sentences and defining what crime is, is kind of her thing. She also is a power house who appears more at the end and decides, so putting her in one of the most important and strongest cards in the deck feels quite fitting. The picture of a person who stands above the rest to tell what shall be told also… literally happened in one of the theatre plays, which is a nice touch and the inquisition gets compared to angels as well.

The world: I mean… the town is the world and it also fits the “completion and harmony” vibe, even if it is also fractured. Not to get sappy, but for me the town and it’s different aspects felt always more complete than any of the endings and it is the thing, that makes the game what it is in the first place. It is… kind of everything what is happening, the game is about the town and it is the protagonist (as it is stated in the Artbook (god that sentence reads like the Artbook is the holy text of Pathologic xDD)). I just think it fills this card the best and having the town as its own entity and character just feels right for me.

[theincompetentgenius]

Cuddling Headcanons

@kantah:  Hmm, if it's alright with you, how about headcanons of the Red Army from Ikerev cuddling their significant other before sleeping? Thank you so much! 💛

Ok so this was a little difficult for me because I don’t like cuddles nor do I engage in them (sue me), so it was hard for me to envision them. Hopefully, this is good enough!

Lancelot

Since Lancelot hasn’t been treated with much affection, cuddling won’t come to him easily. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but he’s not used to the concept of someone holding him or laying in his arms. He’s familiar with the icy emptiness that swallows you when you’re alone, not the warmth that a lover brings. His S/O would have to introduce cuddling to him, but he’d catch on soon enough.

He loves it when you place they head on his chest as he wraps them in his arms, cradling their upper-back. His S/O nuzzles their head in the crook of his neck, draping their arms around his waist. The innocence and compassion in these movements feed him the love he was deprived of in his past. 

When Lancelot cuddles, his positions naturally give his S/O a feeling of protection and safety. This means lots of holding and embracing (especially with the arms). His S/O feels that even the most dangerous criminals cannot touch them as long as they remain in Lancelot’s arms.

If you’re wondering, Lancelot would definitely be the big spoon. The dude is literally 6′ 0 tall, so his S/O’s body would fit snuggly against his chest.

Since Lancelot has no experience with cuddles, he’ll do whatever his S/O is in the mood for. He isn’t picky and has little preference-- as long as they are happy, then he’s happy.  The fact that his S/O is with him as he sleeps is enough for him.

Although he’ll want to stay up to spend more time cuddling, Lancelot will fall asleep fairly quickly. He’s a busy man with many responsibilities, so he'll likely be tired by the end of the day (not to mention that he needs to recharge his batteries for the next hectic day). 

Jonah

Jonah would definitely be into cuddling, but he’ll never admit it in public. If someone were to ask him about it, he’d most likely stick his nose in the air and make a face. “What of it?”

But in the sheets, he’s super adorable! His S/O would definitely have a fun time doing cute things like poking/tapping at his cheeks (I mean I want to). While Jonah wouldn’t understand his S/O’s obsession with that, he’d let them have their fun (but he heavily enjoys the compliments/attention in the inside).

Jonah is very clingy, so don’t expect to end the cuddling session anytime soon. He’ll pull his S/O towards his body, placing their head on his chest and wrapping their chest with his arms. His legs will be intertwined with their’s, leaving zero space between them. It’s as if a plush doll had come to life and decided to cuddle.

The best part is when his S/O looks up to see Jonah’s angelic smile as he holds onto them. Even they’ve been together forever, the warmth that runs through their chest will never change.

The Queen of Hearts will typically be the big spoon for the sake of his pride, but don’t let that fool you. If you push enough, Jonah will be the little spoon. Let’s just say it’s his guilty pleasure.

He knows exactly what he wants, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t open to his S/O’s ideas! Jonah will take turns doing things that he likes and doing things that his S/O wants to try. As long as there’s nothing too crazy, he won’t mind.

It’s also Jonah’s time to blow off some steam! His S/O will be sitting on the bed while Jonah places his head on their lap, ranting about the incompetent subordinate who refused to obey his orders. Running a few fingers through his silky hair is sure to calm him down.

Jonah would make it his duty to fall asleep after his S/O. Although there’s no looming threat, he feels that he has to be attentive as they fall asleep.

Edgar

His S/O will need to prepare themselves for this set of cuddling because there will be lots of teasing (the innocent kind of course. If Edgar was in a more sensual mood, they would be in way more trouble).

I see a lot of tickling here (especially if you’re being sassy or troubling). Even if his S/O claims that they aren’t ticklish, Edgar will find one. Once he does, it’s going to be a long period of squirming and laughing as they try to escape his grasp. Of course, Edgar has an iron grip, so there’s no escaping that. He’ll only let you go if you give him a long, sweet kiss.

Edgar would remind his S/O just how much he loves with them with soft whispers. He’ll wrap them in his arms and lean in against their face, telling them about how wonderful they are and how much they mean to him. If the two are sitting down, they’ll be rocking back and forth.

The Jack of Hearts would be the big spoon here. Although he enjoys the embraces of his lover, Edgar would feel responsible for being the big spoon (especially if his lover likes being the little spoon). 

Similar to Lancelot, Edgar has little to preferences when it comes to cuddling. He never thought he would ever have the opportunity to find love, so even the simplest acts make him happy. Whatever his S/O wants, Edgar is fine with it.

However, Edgar loves to place his head on his S/O’s chest. He would place his ear directly over their heart and place his hand against their stomach. He feels at peace as he hears his lover’s heartbeat because it reminds him that he isn’t placed in some dream. His lover is alive and real.

Even if Edgar is tired, he will try his best to stay awake and spend time with his S/O. He’ll instinctively act as if he had all the energy in the world, as long as his S/O is happy. It’s his S/O who will have to remind him that he doesn’t always have to accept their requests for cuddles.

But Edgar will never turn them away. And he’ll make sure to watch over his S/O until they’re safely asleep.

Kyle

Kyle is the type to cuddle with his S/O without even realizing it. Before his S/O could mention the topic of cuddling, they found themselves entangled in his arms and legs.

His cuddling style depends on several factors: the amount of workload, his mood, and his level sobriety.

If there was a lot of work in the infirmary that day, Kyle’s cuddling style will be on the lazier side. His legs are spread across his S/O’s leg and his arms are sprawled out on their chest. The two will be casually talking about their day and other topics that might sprout from them. Cue the cute, but cheesy romantic dialogue here.

If he’s sober, then his S/O will have a chance for reading and cuddling!  The two are curled up against each other under a snug blanket. Kyle has one book in his hand while you have another in your hand. Kyle’s leg is interlocked with their leg. He’ll idly run his fingers through their smooth, soft hair while his S/O’s head nuzzles against his chest. Kyle would keep reading until he realizes that his S/O has fallen in his arms. Then, he will plant a kiss on their forehead, rest them on the bed in a comfortable position for sleeping, and turn off the lights in the room.

Then there’s his infamous drunk stage. His S/O might not get to cuddle with Kyle in this case because it’s possible that he could be out like a light once they find him. 

However, if he happens to be awake, then they’ll definitely have a drunk cuddling session. Kyle’s senses won’t be at their normal levels, so expect a lot more touchy-feely attitude here. He’ll hold their stomach and place his shoulder in the crook of their neck, enamoring himself in their scent. 

Kyle can alternate between being the big spoon and the little spoon. While he’ll be initially embarrassed to try the little spoon position, he’ll quickly come to love it. There’s nothing better than returning to the embrace of his lover at the end of a long day.

Zero

Now Zero also has no experience with cuddling at all. It’s not hard to imagine his cluelessness when his S/O mentions the concept of cuddling. He’ll probably tilt his head and ask, “Isn’t that the same as laying in bed together?”

However, he’ll definitely be up for it. It doesn’t seem harmful and it’s a really cute way to spend time with his S/O. They need to be prepared to introduce him to most of the positions that they want. Throughout the cuddling sessions, he’ll ask whether he’s doing things correctly so communication is essential.

When Zero finds his face only inches apart from his S/O, they’ll notice redness on his cheeks. They will give him a quick kiss on the nose and he’ll retaliate a large hug.

He’ll hold their hand and place them on his chest while his S/O lays on his shoulder. Zero won’t do a lot of talking, most of the conversation will be his S/O. However, his lovestruck attitude is written all over his face and he listens to their endless rambling. What some may find annoying, he finds endearing.

Zero is most definitely going to be the small spoon. Although he’s tall, his softness and adorableness exude little spoon energy. Watching as his eyes light up with surprise and slowly melt into sweetness only makes his S/O hold onto him tighter. One could say that they become a tad bit possessive as they grow into the big spoon.

The couple would drift to sleep together. It’s only a few minutes difference between who falls asleep first, but Zero wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off the serene face of his significant other. Moments like these remind him that he’s not an anomaly; just one of the luckiest guys in the universe.

[saiilorstars]

Next Stop Everywhere

Chapter 21: The Silver Monsoon

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Female OC

(Minerva’s face claim: Victoria Camacho)

(Kaeya’s Face claim: Michelle Trachtenberg)

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter summary: The Doctor returns to the Silver Monsoon after years of its death, only to find Princess Kaeya's most prized possession.

The pronunciation of Kaeya is “kay-ah”!

// Story Masterlist //

"So you see, I have to write a creative story for this stupid class and I have nothing to write about," I finished telling the Doctor of my newest assignment for school to which he immediately offered his assistance to. I looked over and saw he was blankly staring at the console. "Doctor? Did you listen?"

He blinked, suddenly remembering I was here, and looked at me, "Oh, hello..."

I sighed, "Hello."

"Sorry, what was that?"

I sighed again, more irritated with his lack of attention after he was the one who asked me to explain. "Doctor, if you're not gonna listen then don't waste my time. I have this hard assignment and it's really pissing me off."

"Language," he pointed.

"No."

"Minerva?"

"Martian?"

"Okay," he waved it off, "What were you talking about?"

"No, I wanna know why you weren't listening. You've been doing that a lot lately. Please tell me, I'll keep it a secret."

Ever since we returned from the whole Lazarus event, the Doctor had seemed somewhat distant from Martha and I and pretty much everything else. It seemed like something, or someone, was occupying all his thoughts. And if it was the same culprit that occupied his mind since China, I had a pretty fair idea of who it was...

The Doctor leaned back on his seat, sighing deeply, "Kaeya."

What a shocker...

"What about her?" I did my best to act like it didn't bother me and since he was more oblivious than usual, it wasn't that hard to fool him.

"I've been having these dreams of her..."

"Oh...nice..." I looked away, not sure if it was right to feel jealous of a dead woman.

"I dreamt of the first time we met each other, in person..." he started smiling, getting lost in his thoughts once again.

"And?" I hit his arm, reminding him he had to continue if he was starting a new story.

"And...just the time we spent together..."

"Doctor, I don't mean to be nosy but, um..." I cleared my throat, turning to face him completely, "...were you and Kaeya...you know..." I swayed my head, "...together?"

"What? No! No..." he shook his head, "...Time Lords and the people of the Monsoon were prohibited from even seeing each other."

"Why's that?"

"I never knew. I suspected Kaeya did but she didn't want to tell me. All I knew was that Time Lords were supposed to detest the Monsoon kind. They had something they shouldn't have..."

"But that didn't stop you from seeing her, did it?"

"No," he smiled, probably thinking of her again, "She was much too wonderful to let go."

"Mhm," I nodded, forcing myself to calm down inside. For a pair that were not together, they sure sounded like it...

"But, anyways, what were you talking about? You're homework?" he looked down at the journal on my lap.

"Oh," I looked down at it as well, forgetting for a moment it was still there, "I have to write a creative story and my mind is blank."

"Minerva, you're a time traveler. I'm sure there's something you can think about."

"You'd think that, but...it doesn't. It doesn't feel like any of our recent trips is something to talk about to the humans."

"What do you want to talk about, then?"

"Something fantastic, something worth remembering, something..."

"The Monsoon," he whispered, still managing to cut me off.

"Huh?"

"Would you like to visit the Silver Monsoon with me?"

"As in...Kaeya's planet?" I raised an eyebrow, my stomach churning a little at that idea. Somehow, I don't think that would be good for me and my heart.

"Yeah, I haven't been there since the War, and I never gathered the courage to go back..."

And now I knew I had to say yes and accompany him there. Just like he accompanied me to Liv's gravestone and was there for me when I bid goodbye to her, I had to be there for him and watch him say goodbye to Kaeya. It was something he needed and deserved when it truly wasn't his fault she died. My jealousy could not get in the way of that.

"I understand if you don't want to come," he continued, trying to hide his clear disappointment of my silence.

"Of course I'll go," I took his hand, "You came with me to Liv's burial site, it's time I help you too."

"You want to go?" his eyes shined that spark of excitement they usually wore.

"Yes, and I promise you I will make a story of Kaeya and her people, dedicated to the people of the Monsoon."

"Really?"

"Yes, would you like that?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, absolutely ecstatic about it, "You're truly wonderful!" he took me for a surprise hug, unable to see my shocked yet red face.

"Did I just walk into something?" Martha's voice pulled us apart, "Cause if I did..." I looked back and saw her smirking, probably thinking what would, and should, never happen.

"The Doctor offered me a place to write about," I said before she spoke anything that would compromise me.

"Oh..." her smirk fell and was replaced by a frown, "...boo."

"It's amazing!" the Doctor jumped from the chair and went to the console, "It used to be truly amazing! You should've seen it, Minerva, it was like Christmas all the time!" he rambled on as he made his rounds around the console, Martha moving beside me and both of us just nodding and listening, "There was snow everywhere! Ice lakes! Ice statues! Unfrozen lakes where the children would swim! Oh, they were excellent swimmers! They we're from the Monsoon! Of course they knew how to swim!"

"Is he going to breath anytime soon?" Martha whispered to me.

"Let's find out," I crossed my arms and listening on to the Martian.

"I loved the trees! They were covered with snow, what am I saying covered? They were made of snow! And they carried little ice spheres that you could actually eat! Imagine that, ice that you can eat!"

"Yeah, they're called Popsicles," Martha chuckled.

"These are better," he pointed violently, still smiling and laughing.

"Alright, so if this place is so wonderful, why haven't you taken us before?"

And then he stopped...

I walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Because it's taken a lot of courage to return," he took my hand off his shoulder and held it in his own, "But he's finally doing it."

"What's so hard about going back?" Martha asked, eyeing our small moment, though no smirk as she saw this was a serious matter.

"I lost someone there," the Doctor answered quietly, lifting our interlocked hands and just staring at them as a source of distraction, "It's been one of the places I could never return to."

"And why are we going there suddenly?"

"Because I'm gonna write a story about it," I smiled, wanting to get one out of the Martian but failing miserably, "I'm gonna write about how beautiful it is, how accomplished the species was."

"Well, what are we waiting for, then?" Martha moved up to the console and hung onto it.

"You sure you want to go?" I asked the Doctor as he moved us to the console.

"You'll be there, right?" he questioned very quietly, I almost didn't hear him, "Every second?"

""You won't be able to get rid of me," I flashed him a grin.

"So when speak of this planet, the Monsoon, how come you use it in the past tense?" Martha asked, purposely keeping her gaze down, the small smirk playing on her lips.

"They, uh...they were killed," the Doctor replied, growing quiet once again.

"By what?"

"...by the hands of my people."

Martha gasped, her wide eyes looking at me for the same reaction but by my calmer attitude she learned that I already knew this, "How...how did that happen?"

"The Time War," he turned and leaned against the console, "Just one more of the species we brought down."

"Yeah, but it's not your fault," I reminded.

He smiled, still seemingly lost in thoughts, "They were good people. I never spoke to them, just Kaeya."

"And who was Kaeya?" Martha asked, becoming more curious.

"An old friend of mine..."

I glanced at Martha, letting her know with a look that Kaeya was probably more than just a "friend".

"Oh," she nodded.

It seemed that another woman had managed to steal his hearts...

~0~

I hopped onto mushy snow that plopped up to my ankles. Martha started shivering as soon as she stepped out, "It's so cold!"

"I think it's great!" I said, excitedly looking around.

"It's cold!"

"Zip up the jacket," the Doctor came out, "And you'll be fine."

She grumbled and did as told, "This places looks kind of...dead."

I noticed that while there was perfectly white snow covering the ground, most of the place was dim and gray. It looked like a snowstorm was headed this way...there was no Christmasy feeling. I started walking ahead, my shoes sploshing through the snow.

"It used to be beautiful," the Doctor remarked, he and Martha coming behind, "But that was a very long time ago."

"Is everyone gone, though?" Martha asked.

"I would suppose though, that was the story."

"But then you don't really know, huh?" That's why Martha was my best friend, she picked out what no one had noticed before.

"She's right," I turned back for them, "If all you ever heard was the story then maybe the people of the Monsoon managed to escape."

He sighed, not looking so hopeful, "They need the cold to survive. Their bodies need the coldest temperature around."

"Yeah, but this planet doesn't seem as cold."

"The people probably had a hand in that," he mumbled and walked ahead.

I sighed and watched after him, Martha stepping closer to me, "He doesn't look so good," she whispered.

"His hearts are breaking," I mumbled, going after him.

The Doctor had stopped at a cliff, and I almost slipped on the snow for leaning to close, "What's down there?"

He peered down, "It's mud."

"What kind? And why does it look like snow?"

"It's snow mud used for defensive tactics. These people had an army of some sort. They'd use the snow to cover up their scent."

I crinkled my nose at the smell, not at all agreeable, "It's disgusting!"

"Yeah, it smells horrible," Martha shook her head, "This doesn't seem like a very beautiful planet, honestly."

"This is hardly what the Silver Monsoon used to be, ma'am," an elderly man's voice spoke, making us turn and see the stranger across us.

The Doctor immediately pulled Martha and I behind him, as if the short man could actually hurt us. He was rather short, aged like a grandfather, and had ice blue eyes with gray hair that swiveled at the top. What really captivated my attention were the silver lines on his body. There were two swirly lines going across his cheeks and two more running up and down his arms.

"Who are you?" the Doctor demanded coldly, perhaps thinking the man was an intruder to Kaeya's home.

"My name is Mayar, and I am the last of my people to live on this planet," he declared, giving a small nod.

"You mean...this is your planet?" I blinked, trying to step around the Doctor but he kept forcing his arm in front of me.

"These are the marks of the Monsoon," he gestured to his silver marks.

"Who are you?" this time the Doctor's voice was a meek one, clearly shocked that not everyone had died like he believed.

"Mayar, one of very first Kings of the Silver Monsoon."

The Doctor looked stunned by the piece of information, his forceful arm barring me lowered down, "...you're Kaeya's grandfather."

Now it was Mayar's turn to be shocked, "You knew my granddaughter?"

"Knew her?" the Martian scoffed lightly, part of him seeming lost in thoughts, "I knew her straight to the core."

"Who are you?" Mayar questioned, "All of you?"

"I'm Minerva," I finally stepped around the Doctor, Martha doing the same on the other side, "That's the Doctor and Martha."

"Are you human? I don't believe humans have acquired space travel yet..."

I looked at the Doctor, wondering if he wanted to go with that lie or tell him who he really was.

"They're human," he gestured to Martha and I, "I'm...I'm a Time Lord."

You could tell he struggled to name himself, and the look Mayar was now giving him wasn't helpful, "And you dare step foot on my home after what you did?" Mayar stepped forwards.

"But he didn't do anything," I started to frown, who the hell did he think was?

"Yeah? His people put an end to my people, my family."

"You said it, his people. He didn't do anything except come and try to find your granddaughter."

"And if I picked up your words correctly, not all your people died," Martha joined in, "Or am I wrong?"

Seriously, love Martha right now.

"There were survivors," Maya conceded, looking solely at the Doctor, "If that eases your conscience a bit."

"Who survived?" the Doctor asked, his eyes glossy already, "How?"

"If you really knew Kaeya then you should know she wouldn't go down without a fight. She gave her life to save the little people we had left. But you know what, now that I think about it, I do believe you and Kaeya knew each other."

"You do?"

"Yes, my granddaughter spoke so good of the Time Lords she just had to have gotten all that silly affection for them from you. You filled her head with all the good your people did."

"I did't, I always told her the truth..."

"I wonder, do you ever wake up in the middle of the night to think how many people died because of your lousy war? Let me give you an estimate of my planet, a million. That includes children. My son died, my daughter-in-law, my granddaughter died, and many more after. Tell me, how do you live with that?"

"With all due respect, SHUT UP!" I ordered, never feeling like harming an old man but this one was asking for it.

"How do you maintain a relationship with a man like that?" he moved on to me.

"Because you don't know him like we do," Martha spoke up now, probably feeling the same anger as I felt, "We listened to the story and you don't even give a chance."

"Amazing, you've got two women arguing on your behalf, how does that feel?" Mayar asked, bitterly smiling at the Doctor.

"Look, I swear to you I wanted to save Kaeya, I was looking for a place that she and the rest of you could live in," the Doctor paused, taking a shaky deep breath, "But I was too far away by the time I heard of her death, of the planet's death. But I still came back because I cared for her-"

"No, that's a lie!"

"It's not!"

"You and your people aren't capable of care! Of love!"

"But I was!" the Doctor shouted, actually making all three of us flinch, Mayar with wide eyes, "I knew Kaeya down to the core and she knew me! We didn't know why our species hated each other and we didn't care! We became the best of friends without a care. I showed her what you couldn't, I showed her pieces of the world!"

"Kaeya couldn't leave the planet," Mayar tried to form a comeback, but he was still faulty, "We needed the col-"

"I came, I brought her gifts from the galaxies and she loved them. And you know what? I loved seeing her study those objects. I made her happy, that's the one thing that actually does ease my conscience. Because while you and your family tried to restrain her from her true potential, I liberated her. I made her laugh when you made her cry, I made her curious when you made her world bland, I comforted her when you scared her. And when she died..." the Doctor paused, shaking his head while his hand went to his cover his eyes, "...it was the end of my motivation to keep going. I stopped the War, I ended my own kind because Kaeya died. So do not come and tell me that I am not capable of caring for her because you have no idea just how wrong you are!"

I blinked and a tear strolled down my cheek, my heart beginning to break with the realization of just how much he "cared" for her. That wasn't care...that was love. He loved Kaeya.

"Perhaps...I could be wrong," was all Mayar could say, "...perhaps," he turned around and walked away.

"Maybe we should go..." Martha began to suggest but the Doctor had already left on his own.

"Coming here was the worst idea ever," I mumbled, biting my lip.

"Hey, it's okay," Martha turned to me, "You can't cry for a dead woman."

"I told you I didn't want this because of a heartbreak...and it happened anyways," I sniffled.

"You can't let this bring you down."

"Tell me how am I supposed to feel then?" I rubbed my eyes before more tears emerged, "He didn't have to say it but we all know...we know he loved her."

"I can see how that would come about but-"

"I can't do this right now," I shook my head, collecting myself to go after the Doctor, "You go talk to Mayar, yeah? Find out more about this place?"

"Why?" she frowned, confused with the idea.

"I still have to write something and besides, maybe there's something we can use to make the Doctor feel better."

"And what are you going to do in the mean time?"

"I'm going to make the Doctor feel better," I forced my best smile.

"But you aren't..."

"I don't care because I want him to be okay. He's helped me with Olivia and now it's my turn. I won't let him blame himself for something he didn't do. Not ever," I walked past her, rubbing away the last of my tears before I would find the Doctor.

~0~

"Doctor?" I called, spotting him sitting at the edge of a cliff, "Hey! Martian!" I tried running but the snow slowed me down. After much struggle, I finally reached him and plopped down beside him, "Are you okay?" he nodded, looking down at the iced lake below the cliff, "Somehow, I think that's a lie."

"Well, could be because you're clever..."

I smiled, "That I am, Martian. So, last time you helped me so now I help you. Though I'd help you regardless..." I waited for him to say something but he never did. He kept staring at the iced lake, so lost and silent. This wasn't him at all. "...You know it's not your fault, right? The fall of this planet...you didn't do it. Kaeya died for other reasons, one of those for a noble cause, but none of it was your fault."

"I wish I knew who killed her," he cut me off, his teeth gritting with anger and pain. There was a raw, ferocious, anger that genuinely scared me for a bit. I'd seen him plenty mad before but never like that. "I want to know who put their hands on her and killed her..."

"I don't think you do..." I tried to say but he cut me off with a sharp 'I do'. "And then what? What would you do?" I challenged him. "Because we both know you wouldn't kill them."

"Yeah? How can you be so sure?" he glanced at me with a dark tinge in his eyes, "You know all the people I killed..."

"Because of Kaeya, yes, I do now," I reminded, "But I bet if you had the chance to make that decision again...you wouldn't."

He scoffed, "Right."

"I'm serious. I think that you were blinded by rage and pain, your friend had died...and you wanted to put an end for her. Perhaps in another scenario, given the proper thought about it...you'd make an alternate decision."

"Yeah? And why would I do that?" he rolled his eyes.

"Because it's what Kaeya would've liked for you to do."

He glanced at me again, taken aback by the words I chose, "...she never liked violence..."

"See?"

"She was the sweetest thing out there..." his gaze returned to the iced lake, "...incapable of hurting anyone. Her voice...it was so delicate, so soft...beautiful."

"Aha," I looked down, fiddling with my fingers. I wouldn't stop him from talking about her. I spoke hours of Olivia, telling him how crazy beautiful she was, all her personality traits...I'd allow for him to do the same about Kaeya. It would liberate him from his guilt, and hopefully make him feel a little better.

"She was beautiful, Minerva. When I met her, she was just...a goddess. I think she'd be like the Selene of your mythology."

"Oh, you mean Selena? Of the moon?"

He nodded, "Mhm, she was wonderful..."

"Hm, I can tell. Your smile seems to be kinda..." I gestured to his face, "...stuck," he caught himself in the middle of another grin and quickly stopped, but I could still see a remnant of it at the corner of his mouth, "How did you even meet? You said Kaeya couldn't leave the planet because it was cold so you came...how'd you do it?"

He sighed, glancing back at the iced lake. I wondered what was so damn interesting of a lake, "It all started when I was just a kid and saw her for the first time. It was my first year in the Academy and we had a trip to see a constellation nearby the Silver Monsoon. Everyone else didn't care about the planet that looked like the Earth Christmas I liked so much. I was at the window and I was looking down...and then I saw her. She stood on that lake right there," he pointed ahead, "And she looked up to our ship. I never forgot that face...such a pretty little face. She had these big icy, blue eyes, and she seemed so curious. I could tell she was wondering who I was...what the ship was...what were all those little kids, like her, doing in that ship looking down at her planet."

"But you didn't speak to her, then?" I questioned, looking at the lake, picturing that little girl right there. That's why it was so important to him, it was where they first met...

"No, we were never allowed down on the planet. We were forbidden to visit the planet, much less to make contact with its inhabitants. But we returned every year, and I was always on that ship...and she was always on that lake, staring up. Years passed, and it seemed like we were aging at the same time. And you know, it looked like she knew exactly when we would return because she was always there, standing, sitting, on that lake. All on her own. By the time I was a teenager," he glanced at me, eyeing me up and down, "Probably about your age."

"I doubt you were seventeen," I teased, "Well, I'm almost eighteen in a couple months...so eighteen?"

"No, but I was young."

"Hm, really?"

"Yes, really."

"Doctor, triple digits?"

"...no."

"I think you were!"

"Are you gonna let me continue?" He raised an eyebrow.

I raised my hands, surrendering, "Fine, fine, go ahead."

"Well, like I was saying, we both looked like we could be around the same age. But by that time, I grew tired of just getting a five minute glimpse of her and so I devised a plan."

"What kind of plan?"

He smirked, "The one where I snuck out of the ship and went down to the planet."

"And did it work?"

"...no."

I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head at his failure, "Oh no, and what happened?"

He sighed, "That was the last time I saw her...I was kicked out of the program for sneaking out."

I immediately stopped laughing, knowing that must have been pretty hard for him, "And...and then what happened?"

"They made more trips of course but I never got to see that glimpse of her until..." he began smiling, letting me know that the story hadn't ended so badly, "...I borrowed a TARDIS one day-"

"Borrowed?" I raised an eyebrow, "N-n-no, you told me you borrowed it and ran off with your granddaughter...never returning that box to this day. That's not borrowing."

"This was before I actually stole it," he corrected, shaking his head, "I was...what?" again, he eyed me, determining his next age comparison on me, "An adult? Maybe Olivia's age? Twenty?" I nodded, gesturing for him to continue, "I borrowed a TARDIS one day and took it to this planet, just a little after the students had finished their annual trip. And Minerva?"

"Yeah?"

"...she was right there," he pointed at the lake, his grin so wide it looked like his face would crack, "At first, I didn't see her...but then I turned around and there she was; standing beautifully across me."

I couldn't help the disappointment I felt within me. He seemed so lost in the thought of seeing her again, it made me wonder if he'd ever think of me like that. But I shook those thoughts away and focused on the most important thing here, he was smiling.

"She was so beautiful. She'd changed since the last time I saw her. She was taller, her hair was shorter, and she was dressed like a true princess. Silver and white. I'll never forget that. She was so beautiful," he re-emphasized it and I mouthed the word off to the side where he couldn't see how jealous I was turning.

"Did you talk or did you just stare?" I asked in a mutter, realizing a moment later that was probably rude. Minerva, you are not gonna let your jealousy get in the way of an important moment for the Doctor. He didn't deserve that. Neither did Kaeya.

"We talked," he nodded, oblivious to my feelings, "For the first time, we actually talked. I got to know her. Her name was Kaeya, princess of the Silver Monsoon."

"That's a weird name, you know."

"You're clever, you should know its meaning."

"It has a meaning?" I blinked, genuinely surprised at it.

"Every name's got a meaning. Look at yours, Minerva: the goddess of wisdom."

"Yeah, and what does Kaeya mean?"

"The monsoon flower," he smiled, "And she was a beautiful flower."

I rolled my eyes, "Got it. She was excessively beautiful. What did you talk about? I can't keep writing she was beautiful, you know."

He chuckled, "Yeah, sorry. She told me how shocked she was to see that great big ship over her planet for the first time. Said she'd been playing on the iced lake over there. And after we left, she asked her parents who we were and why we couldn't come down. But they didn't tell her anything. All they said was that she should hate us and stay away from us because we were bad people."

"Why would they think that?"

"I don't know. To this day, I don't know why the Silver Monsoon and Gallifrey detested each other."

"But that didn't stop Kaeya, did it?"

"She calculated the exact day and time we'd pass over her planet each year...and even after I was kicked out, she kept waiting...to see me. Of course, that never happened anymore until I borrowed the TARDIS."

"Bet she was really happen then..." I said, knowing the exact feeling she must have had. I had that same feeling when I decided to leave the box of wonders and him to finish my education. Just the thought of knowing I would actually be staying made my heart beat twice as fast.

"She seemed like it," he nodded, "And we then we started talking. I learned a lot about her, and you know what?"

"What?"

"She didn't live a very happy life."

"Well, apart from being forbidden to leave the planet I couldn't see why she wouldn't be happy."

He smiled, "But that never stopped her hope. While she couldn't leave, she set herself to know about the world. And so each time I came to visit her, I brought her a little gift from a planet, sometimes my own. She loved them all and she tried to study them down to its last detail. I loved seeing the look she gave each time I brought her something. It was...wonderful. Her favorite gifts were the ones from Earth I was able to get from Gallifrey. And then, when I finally left home, I traveled to all these places, always bringing her things from them. But her favorite was always Earth. She thought you were all fascinating."

"Hm, I can't help but feel like an experiment subject."

"You're not. She just liked you all. She tried learning everything she could of the humans. She knew your eating habits, your favorite leisure activities, your customs, beliefs. Heck, do you know she learned about the mythology you all invented? She loved the Roman mythology most of all; she said her favorite goddess was Venus cos she was immensely beautiful. And well, Kaeya didn't consider herself as such."

"Well," I grinned, "I would vouch for the goddess Minerva. She's a pretty cool lady."

"Good thing you're not biased," he remarked, nudging me and getting a laugh out.

"Just give me wisdom over beauty any day!"

"Oh, but you have both already."

I froze, glancing at him with semi-shocked eyes, "You think so?"

He shifted in his seat, giving me a quick glance with a faint smile, "Y-yeah. I told you that, remember?"

"Right..." I rubbed my arm, looking down as a blush went through my cheeks.

"Kaeya loved it all, though," he continued after a moment his gaze wondering to the lake again, "She was truly exceptional."

"Doctor, I know I asked you this before but now I ask you to answer with honesty. Did you love her?"

Silence.

"Doctor?"

Silence.

I took a long, deep breath, "Alright, I won't insist," even if it continued to gnaw at my head.

"I told her that one day I'd figure out how to bring her to other planets," he continued like the dire question hadn't been asked, and with no other option I listened, "I swore to her I'd whisk her away and show her the universe," and by the slow change of happy to glum on his face, I knew that's where the story ended, "And then the war started..."

"And she died."

"I'm sorry," I said with all honesty, "I understand what it's like to lose someone you care so much about."

"Then tell me, how can you ask me not to blame myself for Kaeya's death if you continuously blame yourself for Olivia's?"

I looked away, biting my tongue to keep myself from answering in a way I couldn't. That I cared for him deeply and just couldn't bear for him to blame himself. That I couldn't stand seeing him not smile and ramble on about the stars. I couldn't.

"I said it before, Minerva, your eyes and mine share a great pain. The only difference is that mine are old and horrible, while yours are young and filled with potential."

"Don't say that," I sighed, "We share the pain, that's that. But here's what I think about yours, Kaeya doesn't blame you. She wouldn't want you to burden yourself like this."

"You think so?"

"I know so," I assured, patting his hand, "And look at it this way, she's probably looking over Earth right now, making that visit she wanted for so long."

"I sure hope she is. She deserves at least that."

"C'mon," I let go of him and jumped to my feet, nearly slipping over the cliff, "Yikes, better be careful there."

"Where are we going?"

"You seem to just love that lake," I gestured to it with my head, "So let's go take a look. It'll be a walk down memory lane."

"Uh, no thanks," he shook his head.

"Oh c'mon!" I reached down and tried pulling him up, "Just a walk!"

"No, Minerva."

"Why not? Is it because that's yours and Kaeya's lake? Am I not allowed on it?"

"What? No! I'd love to take you to the lake!"

"Then!?"

He sighed, "I guess I just don't feel like I could step on it."

I let go and smiled sadly at him, "We can take baby steps then."

"Baby steps?" he looked up, looking offended at the term.

I placed a hand on my hip, tilting my head, "What? Big Time Lord can't take a baby step?"

"I can take an adult step!"

"Yeah, you're not classified as an adult in my book."

"What!?" he jumped to his feet, making me beam I finally got him up, "I'm far older than you are-"

"Yes, thank you for reminding me of that, gramps," I patted his cheek, earning a glare from the Martian, "So how about you take me down there?"

"Minerva, you need to take back that 'gramps' thing," he warned as I turned for the cliff, peering down to search for the perfect way to get down.

"Why? I'm seventeen and you're what? 903 years old?" I took a step forwards, nearly slipping again but caught by the martian, "Woah, sorry gramps."

"I'd rather you call me Martian!"

I beamed, gasping, "Really?"

"Yes. Because I'm not old!"

I grabbed his sleeve as I stepped forwards again, "Well, Martian, I can see a way down now. We'll just need to go-" my foot slipped and I went forwards, the Martian reaching to grab me but instead fell along with me.

We toppled down the cliff, the snow - although cold and wet - cushioning our tumble. I fell against the iced-lake, finding just how hard it actually was, enough to bruise my back I'll tell you that. Of course, it wasn't as bad before the Martian literally fell on me with a hard thud, making me yelp of pain.

"Minerva are you alright!?" he asked quickly, although his moves were much slower as he had also been hurt. He lifted his head and looked down at me, and suddenly my pain seemed like a petty thing with him so close to me.

Unlike the last time we found ourselves in this situation, before we landed on McDonnell's ship, I felt nervous. But this time...this time, I found myself smiling at the Martian right above me, "Hello..."

He smiled back, "...hello."

The ground beneath us, and everywhere around us, began shaking like an earthquake. It sounded like the cliff behind us was toppling down more snow, like an avalanche!

"Minerva, watch out!" the Doctor huddled me closer, reaching over and covering me.

A few minutes later, it finally stopped. He looked around, finally getting off me. I sat up and found the cliff had opened up a passageway across us. "That...that wasn't there a moment ago," I pointed, looking at it with wide eyes.

"No, no it wasn't, " he scrambled to his feet, running for it and stopping right at its entrance, "Looks like it hasn't been opened in centuries."

I slowly got up, nervous I'd slip on the ice. Actually, it wasn't even slippery! It felt like actual ground.

"I wonder where it leads to..." the Doctor continued, poking his head inside the passageway.

I trembled, now feeling the coldness of the planet as Martha had whined about earlier. Of course, she wasn't covered in snow and wet. I suddenly crinkled my nose at a fowl smell around us, on me, "Doctor, what is that smell?"

"That would be the snow mud currently covering us," he replied absently, still inspecting that passageway.

I nearly gagged as I smelled my arm, "Oh god, I need a shower."

"Yeah it'll take months for it to fully come off."

"Excuse me?" I asked, wide eyed, "Months?"

"What do you say, Minerva? Shall we take a look?" he turned around, ignoring my current state of denial.

I sighed, letting it go for the moment and made my way over, peering inside the darkness before us, "S-sure. You got a light or something?" And like hearing me, torches hung up on the wall lit up, allowing us to see the pathway clearly.

"I think we're good, don't you think?" the Doctor grinned, stepping inside.

"You think I could use one of those torches to dry myself? And possibly use it as a heater?" I asked, slowly following.

"Well, I don't think-" he stopped at the sound of his foot kicking something.

We looked down to see an old, dusty book on the ground. He picked it up, turning it over and seeing the title worn off by the time it had been here. He opened it up, skimming a few pages of it.

"Stop!" I exclaimed, putting a hand over the page he was currently on, "Look," I pointed, "Those are the Roman goddesses and Gods. Kaeya was fascinated by them, right?"

He nodded, "Very."

"So then...this was her book?"

"Possibly..."

"Well, did anyone else on this planet have a liking for Earth?"

"I don't know. Maybe...maybe not?"

I sighed, a shiver combined with it, "Well, I'm willing to bet it was hers. Maybe this whole cave thing is hers too," I gestured to it and walked a few steps ahead, "Maybe this was her sanctuary."

"Should we even be here then?"

"It opened for us, didn't it? She wants us here."

"But why?"

"Maybe she'd like her old friend to visit her. After so many years. Maybe it's me that shouldn't be here..." I started taking a step back at the sudden realization.

But I felt hands on my shoulders that stopped me, "I'd like her to meet my clever friend. She's pretty good."

I smiled, glancing back, "You think so?"

He shook off his coat and placed it around me, "I know so. You're very good."

I felt an instant heat from the coat, but most of all, I felt my face warming up at our closeness, "You're not so bad yourself," I tugged the coat closer, "And thanks."

"Now c'mon!" he pulled me ahead, running who knows where!

~0~

"I didn't know she had a whole bookcase of Earth books," I remarked as I went through what seemed the eighth bookshelf in this room.

The Doctor had found what appeared to be a library. It was old, it was cold, and it smelled like soggy, dirty socks. But there were bookshelves spread all around, chuck full of books...all about Earth.

"How did she even get these?" I looked over to the Doctor and saw him swaying his head, "I should've known. You brought them."

"I didn't think she'd actually keep all of them," was his defense statement, "But then again, she did say she had a whole library dedicated to Earth."

I plucked out a book that read Cinderella on the cover, "Maybe to meet the princesses? Cinderella, really?"

"She liked the gown because it was almost like hers."

"Cinderella sucks. I'm more of a Rapunzel fan."

He scoffed, "Figures," he looked over my hair.

I playfully rolled my eyes, "Ha, ha, so I'm a little bias."

"You know, Kaeya thought the Earth fairy tales were a bit boring. Ridiculous, actually. Complete fantasy..."

"Ridiculous?" I frowned, looking back at the row of classical fairy tales on the shelf, "But they're the most famous ones!"

"And a bit unlikely," he walked over, taking the book from me, "I mean, seriously, a wooden puppet whose nose grows big when they lie?"

"A 903 year old alien with a box that's bigger on the inside?" I countered, smirking, "I'll have you know these fairy tales are fantastic. Especially for the kids. I mean, c'mon, servant girl gets a fairy godmother, servant girl sneaks to the ball, servant girl meets Prince and loses her shoe at midnight...then the Prince finds her and they live happily ever after. Who thinks that's bland!?" he made a face and shrugged, placing the book back in its spot, "Okay fine, let me tell you a new one then: Human girl travels all her life, human girl meets Martian and he takes her to see galaxies. Isn't that such a cute fairy tale-oh wait - I'M LIVING IT!"

He smiled, "Point taken."

"Thank you," I nodded, turning away for another bookshelf, "I'm sure Kaeya can see that now."

"So...I'm a fairy tale?" he raised an eyebrow, the hint of a smirk growing at the corner of his mouth.

"Hold your horses there," I held a finger to him, "I said the whole thing in general is the fairy tale. Stop the ego from growing. You're not a fairy tale."

Yes he was...

"Really?" he pretended to pout.

"You're not!"

He was...

"But are you really sure?"

"Yes," I went along, stopping between a gap of two bookshelves. I passed a hand down the cold wall, feeling it somewhat...hollow?

"That's too bad..." he came over, "...because I think you're a fairy tale."

I glanced at him, stunned he had actually said that. That was the second complement I received in less than an hour, "Really?"

He blinked, "Um...yeah, because you're...you're very clever, and...and, and human."

"Oh...so I'm a fairy tale because you've never met a human so clever? What, we're highly unlikely? I'm ridiculous? We're all supposed to be stupid?" I leaned against the wall, watching him curiously work out that one. As much as I wanted to believe that was a compliment...it did sound like an insult in the end.

"No! That's not at all what I meant!"

"So what did you mean by that?"

"I just..." he swayed his head, sighing, "...see, you're clever and you're just..."

"Human," I nodded, "Yeah, I got it. Human and surprisingly smart," I rolled my eyes, "You know what, maybe this is where we part. I'll go find Martha and you can visit your dead girlfriend..." I started removing his coat, getting off the wall.

"No, no, please don't," he moved to stop me, trying to push my hands down as they fiercely worked to take off the damn coat, "Minerva, stop, you're overreacting." But I continued, and I guess frustrated him because he just stopped and pushed us back to the wall, "Are you gonna stop and let me explain?" he demanded seriously, enough seriousness to leave me still and just nod, "Thank you," he sighed, "Listen, you're sweet, you're insanely clever, and you don't take advantage of it. Most humans would. You said it yourself, with power comes chaos...especially with humans. You're not like that though," he smiled softly, "You'd never be. That's why you're a fairy tale, because another girl like you would be unlikely. You're one of a kind. So, why don't you keep that coat," he tugged it closer, enveloping me in its warmness, "And you accompany me to see an old friend. Yeah?"

I started smiling, blushing and nodding, "Okay..."

We both smiled, looking at each other for a moment until we felt another shaking. This time, it came from behind me and the Doctor quickly pulled me off to see the wall sliding open.

"Was Kaeya fond of puzzles?" I blinked, seeing the newest dark passageway ahead of us.

"It's a possibility..."

"There's no lights this time," I peered inside, "How are we supposed to get through?"

"Let's see," he walked ahead.

"Uh, Doctor, maybe you should be careful," I called, staying by the doorway.

"It's fine!"

"But it's dark!"

"Yeah but it's not like I'm going to-"

And he slammed into a wall...

I winced at the thud, hearing the groans a few seconds later, "Let me guess, there's a wall in front of you?"

"...that's..." he groaned again, "...a possibility."

I rolled my eyes and took slow, careful steps ahead, using the wall as a guide, "Where are you?"

"Over here," he called louder.

"If I crash into the wall you're as good as dead. And the possibility of regenerating is very slim."

He chuckled, "I'm holding out my hands, just reach out."

I nodded, though I realized he couldn't see it so I stopped. I held out one hand while the other remained on the wall, "I can't feel you!"

"Then get off the wall!"

"I'm not on the wall!"

"Yes, you are. Now let go."

I sighed and did as told, stepping forwards. I had to admit I felt a big relief when I touched a hand, "Oh thank god."

"See, nothing to worry about," he said, "Just don't move forwards."

"Let me guess, is there a big scratch on your head, Doctor?"

"...no."

I laughed, "Liar."

"Oh shut it, it really hurts."

"We'll deal with it later you big baby. Now tell me how we're going to go down the passageway."

He sighed and turned us for the wall, "Well..."

But the wall started moving away from us, leaving us to follow as it moved. The Doctor let go of my hand and went slightly ahead, the darkness fading as icy blue squares on the ground lit up. But just like that, the rock stopped moving.

"Doctor!" I called, feeling myself slip on one of the ice squares.

He quickly returned, catching me before I fell. And suddenly, the rock slid again. We looked at each other then the rock that kept moving. We let go of each other and the rock stopped moving.

"That's just weird," I pointed, "What? Did you and your girlfriend make it like this?"

"Minerva stop, I've never been in here," he said, taking my hand once more, watching how the rock moved again.

I pulled my hand away, making it stop, "Then what's going on?"

"It looks like some sort of security mechanism."

"What? The kind where you need to hold hands?"

"Maybe it was for her parents..."

"So what do we do?"

He glanced at me, then my hand, "Well, if we want to get ahead, you'll need to hold my hand."

I pretended to study him and his hand, "...I'll manage."

He smiled and reached for my hand, once again the rock moving. This time, we walked after it, neither of us saying a word. What could I say, really? At the end, the rock stopped sliding forwards and moved to the side, allowing us to see a room behind. We entered an ice room that was in a cylindrical shape, a small one at that.

"What is this place?" I asked, intrigued by the design, but not more than what was held in the center, "And what is that?"

There was a circular table, an ice table, in the center with a necklace propped up; a glass dome covered it.

"Welcome," a voice rang around the room, startling us.

"Kaeya?" the Doctor frowned, looking around frantically, bringing me as well until I pulled my hand away, "Where are you!? Are you here!?" I grew sad as I watched him desperately trying to find the girl, knowing he must miss her a lot.

"This is an interface," a hologram of a young woman appeared beside the table, "Here to help."

"Kaeya..." the Doctor whispered, stepping forwards, taking in the hologram's appearance which I assumed was the blessed princess.

She was beautiful, no doubt. I assumed the silver gown the Doctor had mentioned was the one she wore at the moment. It was an A-line dress that went down to her feet. It had a squared-neckline with angel sleeves, a ruched bodice, an over skirt covering the forepart of the underskirt, a small train of it behind. Her short, ashy brunette fell above her shoulders in soft curls, her icy blue eyes looking as lively as ever...even for a hologram. She was beautiful, and she didn't look a day over twenty-five.

I swallowed hard, finding myself to be an intruder in this room.

"She's just a hologram...she's not real," the Doctor said quietly, shaking his head. He turned around and it shocked me to see him actually walking for the exit. That was my job!

"Doctor!" I called, making him freeze, "And just where do you think you're going?"

"She's not real."

"Real or not, she wants you here."

He glanced back, looking between the hologram and I, "How do you know?"

"I don't," I shrugged, "But I say she does. Look at this place. It seems like no one's entered in centuries. Not even Mayar! And he was her grandfather. Why would it suddenly open for us? Why would it open for you?"

He turned completely, facing me but with a solemn look, "You think she wants me here?"

"Let's ask," I moved for the hologram, "Interface, what is the purpose of the room?"

"It holds the Silver Monsoon's most prized possession," she gestured to the necklace on the table, the dome moving up from it, "Responsibility of the princess of the Silver Monsoon, princess Kaeya. She swore to protect it at all costs."

"What does the necklace do?" I asked, looking back at the Doctor, offering my hand for comfort.

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

"Not what I asked but okay," I smiled as the Martian came forwards and took my hand, "What's the purpose of the necklace?"

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

"I know that...what is the necklace's purpose?"

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

"Why does it keep saying that?" I glanced at the Doctor, confused.

He looked at the hologram and the necklace repeatedly, a minute later focusing solely on the necklace, "There's something familiar about it..."

I looked at the necklace, really focusing this time. It was baby blue and white...

It had a chain with three shapes hanging at the bottom, "Doctor, how many suns does the planet have?" I asked.

"None," he answered quietly. I glanced at him, surprised, "They only ever had the moon..."

"But there's two suns," I pointed at the necklace, "And the moon."

"I don't get it."

I frowned, staring harder at the necklace. There had to be an explanation for it, "Interface, what are the symbols' purpose?"

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

"Yes, I get it-"

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

I sighed, hoping to push my frustration down for the sake of the Martian beside me, "But-"

"It belongs to princess Kaeya."

"Oh my god, yes! But please stop saying that I get it. It belonged to..." I trailed off, finally getting it, "Oh...she made the necklace."

"She what?" the Doctor asked, looking at me weirdly.

I looked at him, "She made the necklace."

"How do you know?"

"Take a good look, Martian, and tell me what you see."

He did that...and nothing.

"Doctor?"

He shrugged.

"You are so oblivious! You're a stupid genius," I shook my head before leaning towards the necklace, "There's two suns, Doctor. And you said this planet has none," I glanced at him, seeing he was finally processing it as he leaned forwards, "So why put two?"

He let go of my hand and went for the necklace, tracing fingers on the suns, "Oh Kaeya...she did say she'd love to see them rising."

"And I'm guessing the moon is for her. It's you two together, how she wanted it."

"But...but why?"

I sighed, practically forcing myself to speak my next words, "She fell in love with you, Doctor."

He blinked with wide eyes, looking between the necklace and I, apparently hearing these words for the first time, "But I..."

"Take the necklace," I said quietly, rubbing my arm, though the fact I still wore his coat only made me feel worse. I shouldn't be here.

"I-I can't! Why'd you even think that?" he shook his head, stepping back.

"Why else would we be here?" I snapped, feeling guilty the second after; it wasn't his fault that he also made a human fall for him, he made Rose so why would I be an exception? How did Martha avoid it? "If this thing allowed us inside, it was for a reason. Plus, this thing," I pointed to the necklace, "Was made for you two. She's not here anymore but you are. The right thing would be for you to take it and put it somewhere you deem right."

He sighed, glancing at the holographic had remained quiet, and I swore it was almost watching us like it understood us, "I suppose...for Kaeya..."

"Yes," I moved for the necklace, reaching to take it when... "Ah!" I jerked my hand back, feeling my fingertips burn like before.

"Are you okay?" the Doctor quickly took my hand to inspect it.

"Yes, I..." I glanced at the necklace, finding a similarity between its material and the crystal at Lazarus' event, "...hey, is it the same crystal that Lazarus had?"

"Hm?" he looked at the necklace, taking it from its place and carefully touching it with a finger tip, "I think it is."

"Why doesn't it burn you?" I looked at his hands that could freely touch the necklace with jealousy.

"Maybe it's not supposed to be touched by humans..."

"Then how did Lazarus use it?"

"Gloves?"

"I'm telling you right now, I don't think Kaeya likes me," I looked at the hologram with narrow eyes, "She thinks I'm an intruder here."

"She doesn't. I know she would've loved to have met you."

"Lies," I scoffed, "I bet her spirit is right here and scowling at me."

"Spirit?" he scoffed now, "Ha!"

"You don't believe in the afterlife?"

"No...well...no."

"Well I do, and I believe Kaeya brought you here and I believe she doesn't like me," and I completely meant that.

The Doctor still seemed unconvinced, then...

"Hide it," the hologram spoke up, both the Doctor and I turning to it with shock. The hologram turned its head to the Doctor, "I will guide you until it is time."

"Excuse me?" the poor Martian blinked, stunned as I was the hologram was actually speaking like it understood us.

"I vowed to return one day and it is not me who has entered the sanctuary."

"But you died, Kaeya," he gritted his teeth, both angry and sad at the fact, "You can't return."

"I will return," she smiled, "But in the meantime, I will guide you on this journey."

"Guide..." I whispered, familiar words returning to me as I pondered, "...Guide. Moon guide...Moon spirit! Ha!" I exclaimed, startling the Doctor with my sudden excitement, "Remember the Face of Boe's words back on New Earth?" he stared but with no idea what I was saying. I sighed, coming beside him, "He said the moon spirit would guide you. She's it!" I pointed at the hologram, "I told you she'd be looking out for you wherever she was!"

"So...what?" he blinked.

I sighed again, smacking him upside the head, earning a big 'ow' from him, "You're meant to be here and take the necklace. She guided you here."

"But she's dead..." he whispered, his gaze falling to the ground.

I smiled sadly, "So? Just because she died doesn't mean she's gone. It's like my grandfather. I understand that he's dead. But I refuse to believe that he's really gone. I know that he's still looking out for my grandmother and I, and heck, even my mother. He's still taking care of us and Kaeya is doing the same for you."

He slowly nodded, looking up with watery eyes, "She's not gone?"

"She's right there," I pointed at the necklace, "And there," I pointed to his hearts.

He hugged me unexpectedly, but of course I didn't mind. I hugged right back, a hidden smile on my face. I glanced at the hologram, feeling slightly guilty that I enjoyed this hug in one of her favorite places.

But then she winked...

I looked at her oddly, shaking it off as the Doctor pulled back, "So, you'll take it?"

He nodded, "I'll honor her with it."

"Good," I looked around, finding nothing else to look at, "Should we get going then?"

He sighed and looked at the hologram, "Yeah, she's been disturbed enough."

"Thank you Kaeya..." I said quietly, feeling awkward.

She was dead and here I was trying to get her boyfriend. I wasn't exactly the best person right now...

But the hologram flashed a smile and held out her hand to her right, the ice wall sliding to the side, "Thank you."

"Doctor, how can she understand us if there's no more programming?"

"Kaeya's final orders, I suppose."

"Yeah but she acts weird..."

"She's just doing what she's programmed to do."

"But she winked at me!"

He laughed, pushing me for the new passageway, "Yeah, right."

"But she did!" I glanced back at the hologram, seeing her smile and wink again, "Look!" I turned him around but the damn thing reverted back to its blank state, "Do it again!"

She glanced at us, as if studying us, before uttering three words that would break a piece of my heart, "I loved you. I will find you one day."

I looked at her for a moment, never hating myself so much for being right, "Told you," I turned around and began walking for the passageway.

~0~

"There you are!" Martha greeted us with big hugs when we met her and Mayar in a cave. But then she caught the whiff of the snow mud and immediately backed away, pinching her nose,"What is that?"

"Snow mud," the Doctor replied, nodding, "Leaves a good scent for a couple of months."

"You mean you're both going to be smelling like that for MONTHS?"

"My reaction exactly," I nodded.

"We're used to it," the Doctor shrugged, "You'll be too."

"Okay..." she said, unconvinced as she returned to Mayar, "There's no perfume or anything?"

"No ma'am," he replied, quite amused. It seemed like he was in a much better mood now and of course it had to be because of Martha. She was wonderful like that!

"Yeah, we'll see about that," she shook her head.

"Where did you two go?" he asked us.

The Doctor and I glanced at each other, both having agreed before finding the two to keep Kaeya's sanctuary a secret. She had let us in for a reason and that means she didn't want anyone else to know about it.

"We went to the lake," I answered, "Lovely by the way."

"Ah," Mayar nodded, his hard look returning as he looked at the Doctor.

"You know your princess would disagree with how you're treating him," I said to Mayar, earning an equal harden look back. I felt bad for ruining Martha's work but I would not allow him to make the Doctor feel bad again.

"Minerva," the Doctor placed a hand on my shoulder, "It's alright-"

"No!" I shook his hand off, "It's not. Your princess, your granddaughter, Mayar, would be very disappointed in you."

"You don't know anything about her!" he snapped, stepping up.

"You wanna bet?" I laughed bitterly, stepping up as well.

"Minerva," the Doctor called from behind, reminding me of our agreement.

"I know she had a fascination for my planet, and do you know what was her favorite thing? The peace and harmony we had. And do you know why we had that? Because we were always together. But look at you, you're old, and bitter. You make yourself out to be the lonely victim and you blame the last person of the species that killed your family. But guess what? The fact is you're not alone, your people are still out there, living a good life. Why don't you go after them?"

"Because I don't have a family..." he answered me, barely above a whisper.

"Family isn't just those related by blood. It's having good friends who care about you just like a family would. So instead of blaming people for what happened to your planet, why don't you go and find your own people who thankfully survived because of Kaeya? The Doctor was not responsible for it and I'll be damned if I ever hear that again."

He took in my words, seeming to actually think about it. And I sure hoped he would.

Martha, seeing the tension rising to a brink, moved beside again, clearly breathing through her mouth, "Why don't we go look around instead? There was some drawings in the entrance of the cave that I'm sure you'd love to see, Minerva."

I glanced at the Doctor, seeing he was in no more spirit to be on this planet, "Why don't we go home instead? I think I got enough."

"You sure?"

I nodded, whispering, "Believe me. I got more than I bargained for."

She blinked, not getting. I mouthed 'talk later' then gestured for her to start walking.

~0~

Back in the TARDIS, I was able to write a story with what Martha was able to get from Mayar and from what I got from the Doctor, lots of Kaeya. Afterwards, Martha and I sat in the console, me telling her everything that had happened to the Doctor and I while on the Monsoon. I did burst into sobs a few times here and there but she was really good at comforting.

"So, Kaeya actually loved him?" Martha blinked, taking in the most important aspect of the story, the necklace not so much of her concern for some reason.

"She said she'd find him one day..." I whispered.

"But she's...dead!" Martha got quiet for a second as she thought then nodded, "Yeah, dead!"

"Well if you think about it, her body was never found..."

'Don't deduct, she's dead."

"I can't help it. If she's alive and she finds the Doctor...Martha," I teared up again, "They loved each other. It's going to be the repetition of Rose and this time, I won't be able to handle it."

It was true. When Rose was around, my feelings weren't the same and so as bothered as I was with her and the Doctor, I wasn't heartbroken. But if it were to happen now, where my feelings stand, I don't know what I'd do. Of course, I wouldn't stand between them, I couldn't. I'd let them be happy, because if the Doctor was happy then I would be to...for him.

"Minerva, I don't know what to say anymore," Martha sighed, looking completely lost for words now. That was a first, "But...are you okay?"

"Honestly Martha, I don't know," I shrugged, really not knowing how I felt about this, "I mean, on the one hand, I feel completely jealous and angry towards Kaeya but on the other hand, I understand her and I'm so sorry that she died."

"That seems normal. I probably would feel the same."

"Does it make me a bad person if I'm angry with a dead girl? Just because she happened to love the same man that I fell for?

She smiled softly, shaking her head, "No because that same person that's angry just finished up a story on the other girl. Plus, it's not like you'd kill her for it. It's natural to be jealous."

"Still, I can't help feel guilty for it."

"Don't be," she gestured to my notebook, "No more guilt. Because you're incredibly sweet and on another occasion, you two would have been good friends."

"I swear, if she ever did come back and the Doctor loved her and wanted to be with her, I wouldn't dare step between them. Ever. Because if she was the one that made the Doctor happy then I'd be happy too."

"See, it's that trait that makes you different from Rose," Martha pointed, leaving me perplexed onto how we moved onto Rose now.

"What? ...what?"

"You know my disdain for her, but apart from all that, I truly believed she was selfish. She treated you badly because she thought, she assumed, you liked the Doctor."

"She was just jealous..."

"But did she ever stop to wonder that maybe the reason why the Doctor was more...close..." she tried finding the right word but by the face she was making it was clear that she hadn't found it.

"We weren't close," I corrected quietly, remembering just how distant the Martian and I actually were in those days, "He didn't even know my name."

"'Close' wasn't the word I wanted but he interacted better with you," she paused for a moment, probably trying to think of better words but once again came up with nothing, "And I don't think Rose ever stopped to think that maybe he actually liked you back then."

"He did not," I informed flatly, knowing it was a fact.

"Yes, but maybe it was developing at that time," Martha clarified, "Maybe he didn't even know it. And hey, maybe you didn't even notice. But the biggest difference between you and Rose is that you would never be rude to Kaeya nor treat her the way Rose treated you because you shared the same affection for the Doctor. You would step back and allow the Doctor to be happy with whomever he chooses."

"I would, I really would step back," I whispered, looking down as I felt tears prick in my eyes, forcing themselves free.

"And that's what Rose didn't do," Martha said softly, offering a smile of comfort, "She was rude to you and she made it seem like it was your fault. She never stopped to wonder what the Doctor wanted. It was just what Rose wanted. That's pretty selfish of her."

"Thanks Martha," I hugged her, "You have no idea how much of good friend you are. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be completely lost with your feelings for the alien," she chuckled.

"Very," I agreed as I pulled back, "Martha, I'm so sorry for what I said after we left McDonnell's ship. I didn't mean to be rude to you and-"

She raised a hand, stopping my apology midway, "I get it, don't worry."

"But I'm really sorry," I insisted, "You have been nothing but kind to me and not to mention patient with this new dilemma in my life concerning my blood. I'm very sorry."

"Minerva, it's okay," she assured, "If I was mad, I wouldn't have gotten the Doctor to come and talk. I know what you were saying was out of the moment. It's fine."

"Oh Martha," I hugged her again, "You're such a good friend to me!"

"Hey, I'm just glad you're feeling better. After everything from the ship, you've been a little, um..." she made a face, possibly trying to be cautious of her words.

"Emotional, crazy, mess, wreck, yeah," I sighed, "I do feel a lot better, though. It was just the hype of the moment...but I'm better...progress..."

"It's not all better, though, huh?"

I shook my head, "It's too much, Martha. One day, I'm going to break."

"No you won't, because your friends are here for you."

"Thank you," I smiled.

""Minerva?" we heard the Doctor call, making us look over and see him by the corridor's threshold, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

By the look he wore it seemed he had found something interesting in the necklace. I glanced at Martha, smiling apologetically for leaving her.

"You know what," she stood up, "We were done anyways. Take my place," she gestured to the empty spot beside me before walking off.

The Doctor waited for her to be a good distance in the corridors before approaching me and taking out the necklace, "So I studied..." he took the seat Martha had left, "...and turns out it does need to be kept hidden."

"Why?"

"Remember that crystal with Lazarus?"

"Yeah..."

"It's made out of the same material. I think this necklace came from that crystal."

"And...what would that mean, exactly?"

"I don't know, the crystal changed Lazarus, remember? It unlocks, it heals, it makes certain genes dominant."

"Why would Kaeya make it into a necklace, then?" I frowned, so lost there were no coherent thoughts in my head.

"There's something more," he stared at the necklace, "Its registering large amounts of energy, like there's something living inside it."

"That's not possible," I shook my head.

"I don't mean actual life," he shrugged, his gaze still locked on it, "Maybe the energy is large enough to create life."

"You know, maybe it's registering spirit energy," I wiggled my fingers, getting a smile out of him, "You know? Like that paranormal stuff when they're hunting for ghosts. Like in the movies where the spirits look after things that should never fall in the wrong hands."

He raised an eyebrow, "...now you've gone too far. You've been watching too many movies."

"Just Scary Movie Two," I shrugged.

"No more," he pointed.

"Let's focus on the necklace, shall we?" I took it by the chains, avoiding the symbols which seemed to want to hurt me for some reason, "I suppose she made the necklace thinking in you," I looked at the two suns, understanding Kaeya's curiosity for them, "She really loved you..."

"Don't say that," he whispered, staring at the necklace sadly.

"It hurts, doesn't it? To lose someone you love." It didn't matter if it was love for your family or romantic love, love was love, and any time you lose someone it hurt millions. And I understood that perfectly with Liv and my grandfather.

"Please don't..."

"Why don't you accept that you love her?" I found myself asking the same question Martha had annoyed me with, now fully understanding the need to just know why one would refuse to accept feelings that were so clear.

"Because, I...no," he shook his head, looking as if it actually pained him to even think of the possibility.

"Doctor, it's alright to admit it. Sure, it could hurt because she's not with us anymore, but..." I stopped when he shook his head even harder, "...Doctor?"

"I'm so confused," he mumbled, shutting his eyes and leaning back on his seat.

I frowned at the way he looked, so pained and really...disdained. I just wanted to comfort him, maybe like Martha did to me, but I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to hug him, and all these things a friend couldn't say like how much I cared for him, how precious he was, and most of all, I couldn't kiss him til he was better.

"Minerva," he opened his eyes, opening his mouth to say something.

"Yes?"

But he closed his mouth and shook his head, "No, nothing."

"Doctor, you know you can talk to me about Kaeya whenever you want," even if it broke me inside, "Whenever you need a little reminder that it wasn't your fault, I'm here."

I managed to get a dim smile from him, "Thank you," he sat up, "And actually, I've yet to thank you for sticking up for me today. You looked so sure of what you were saying..."

"Because I am sure. I know it wasn't your fault. Mayar should be ashamed of how he treated you. Kaeya wouldn't have approved."

"Thank you," he said sincerely, "I'm just sorry I didn't get to show you the planet so you could write."

"Oh! That wasn't a problem, actually, cos looook," I picked up my journal beside me and waved it for him to see, "Guess what I just finished?"

"You wrote something?" he took it from me and opened it up.

"Star-Crossed, I call it," I watched him open the first page, "A tale of two people who became the best of friends despite of the differences of their people. Sounds a bit cliche but I changed it up. You're a Martian," I smirked as his face fell.

"I'm a...what?"

"Martian."

"You didn't."

"But I did," I nodded, my smirk threatening to turn into a big laugh.

"Minerva!"

"Kaeya remains of the monsoon and the moon."

"Why'd you make me a Martian?"

"Because I thought it'd be funny...and I knew it'd tick you off."

"Minerva!"

I started to laugh, "I'm really not sorry, though."

He sighed, so crossed yet not uttering another word for a minute or two as he skimmed a few pages, "Is that Martha?" he pointed at a paragraph that contained her name.

"Yes, it is. You can't expect me not to write in my best friend."

"I don't see a Minerva in here," and he skimmed more pages, "Why not?"

"Um...there was no purpose for one," I shrugged.

I did think of writing myself into the story but it actually pained me to write myself in a story where I still couldn't have the Doctor. Instead, I made Martha Kaeya's best friend, and the Doctor the one she loved...which she did.

"There's always a purpose for one," the Doctor mumbled as he continued his search for a name that would never pop up.

"Not in here there wasn't," I sighed, "But I think it turned out really well if you wanna give it a proof read before I turn it in."

"I'd love to," he handed back the journal.

"What?"

"Read it to me," he gestured, "The author should read her own work."

"Is my audience going to listen or cut me off at the end of each sentence?"

He raised a hand, making a promise, "I shall wait until the end to give my opinions."

"And constructive criticism? Because it'd be really useful. My writing grades aren't that hot right now, so...yeah?"

He nodded, "Til the end."

"Okay then, I hope Kaeya likes this. I know she thought Earth's fairy tales weren't good because they were unlikely. But, I believe I wrote her one that maybe she could dream up where she is. And in this story, she gets a happy ending."

He looked at me for a moment, making me question whether I had angered him or not, "You did that for her?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, "Yeah. She deserved a good ending and in this one she'll get it. Hopefully this is one fairy tale she'll like."

He smiled, "You did that for her...you're incredible."

I smiled, looking at my notebook to hide my blush, "Am I now..."

"Let's see, you listened to my ridiculous fantasy with a princess, went with me through a cave we had no idea what we'd find, but most of all made me see that I wasn't to blame for her death. And on top of that, you wrote a story about us. Yeah, you're incredible."

"You always say such things..."

"Because you always do such things."

"Well, thank you," I exhaled a bit shakily that I hoped he hadn't noticed, "So, shall I read?" he nodded, gesturing for me to begin, "Alright..."

But as I read, through the biggest smile I think I ever had, I felt his look on me the whole time.

And I hoped Kaeya would forgive me because I truly loved the attention I received from him and even if she were to pop around any time, things wouldn't change. I'd still enjoy his attention. But I promised myself one thing, and I intended to do so: if Kaeya was alive, and she returned, I would leave the TARDIS for good. Because under no circumstances would I be a third wheel again.

No more.

[devourable]

i think ab abe w a trans dude darling a lot bc when darling explains that he can in fact still get him pregnant he’d probably immediately cum a little

[alette-stars]

The giant goes to rest. More than two years, 130 000 words and many screams and tears since its start, Lavender Jade is complete.

Let me start off by thanking you all for supporting this fic! When I started I had no idea it was going to receive the love it has. Before Lavender Jade I was known for more overall lighthearted works (Mint and Poppy in the Monsta X fandom, Stray Romance for ASTRO). All your constant love and support has been a huge help. Thank you so much! Words cannot describe the joy your comments and messages gave me ♡

I’ve made so many amazing friends and spoken to so many beautiful people because of this work, but this fic is dedicated to Monsta X ♡

Okay, enough sappiness! Time to move on to the trivia and extras. This is my 4th trivia post (you can find Mint and Poppy here; Stray Romance here; Wrong (Right) Number here) and longest yet, so it’s in 3 parts:

basic tidbits/extra info

regarding the vei, the card divination system

some personal rambling regarding my character motives (entirely skippable)

If it’s not obvious, there are going to be major spoilers, so if you haven’t read the fic yet but plan to do so, I advise not reading this ^^

If you need, you can always reference the character list here

Okay, so let’s get started! Rest of the post is under the cut

1. Basic Trivia

Most of the extras in the fic were original characters this time, with a few exceptions. Even these exceptions are not exactly based on the idols they’re named after, but I imagined them while writing. These are:

Sojung, Jooheon’s bodyguard - WJSN’s Exy

Sewoon, Kihyun’s manservant - soloist Jeong Sewoon

Seungwoo, another of Kihyun’s servants - soloist Yoo Seungwoo

Dawon, Hyunjung, Jiyeon, Luda, Soobin, Juyeon, the girls mentioned as being part of Jooheon’s people in Eigak - WJSN’s Dawon, Seola, Bona, Luda, Soobin, Eunseo 

Along with the ones living, there were those who lived in the past. Mentioned in-text:

Hoseok II, a previous king of Yishin - BTS’ J-Hope

Seokjin, a consort to Hoseok II - BTS’ Jin

Kim Namjoon, prime minister of Hoseok II - BTS’ RM

Hakyeon, the first king of Yishin - VIXX’s N

And those referenced only in the snippets in the chapter summaries:

Jungsoo, a previous king of Yishin - Super Junior’s Leeteuk

Kyuhyun, a historian - Super Junior’s Kyuhyun

Yoongi, a consort to Hoseok II - BTS’ Suga

Taekwoon, high prince to Hakyeon - VIXX’s Leo

For some reason which I still cannot fathom, I’ve been praised for the worldbuilding in this fic. The capital city of Yishin doesn’t even have a name. 

The basic geography of the peninsula is Yishin, Eigak to her east, a number of tiny states to her west, the sea to her south. The western side of Yishin is more fertile. The stretch of border between Yishin and Eigak is a rocky wasteland.

Yishin was named as a mix of Wonho’s two surnames: Lee and Shin

The concept of snippets from literature and media from the universe as chapter summaries was inspired by Steven Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen saga. The vei deck (more on it later) was also very heavily inspired by his Deck of Dragons in the same books. 

A lot of fics focus on Hyungwon’s looks (something I’m guilty of as well) so I wanted to write a world where he wasn’t considered handsome. I understand why all the shows set in alternate worlds have the same beauty standards as us—it makes for prettier TV—but I decided to set a different one for the world of Lavender Jade. Somewhat arbitrarily, we have:

considered very handsome -  Hoseok, Minhyuk, Changkyun

considered somewhat handsome - Kihyun

considered plain/regular - Hyunwoo, Hyungwon, Jooheon

Han Jehan, obviously, also falls in category 1.

Han Jehan was my first time writing a proper villain in my fics, and I don’t know how well I succeeded but I enjoyed it immensely. I went out of my way to add all the traits I like so that I wouldn’t end up hating him, even going so far as to give him the surname of one of my favourite idols (sorry Hyuk). 

There are two main things I’d change in the fic if I could turn back time:

tighten up the front end. I’d combine the first couple of chapters 

Yeon Hu would be a woman. By the time I realized the awesome power of a badass lady general, it was too late

All court members—Jo Senmi, Yeon Hu, etc—are original characters. They’re both basic archetypes you’ll find in sageuk dramas. I think it’s worth mentioning both of them really do love Yishin, they just had very different, more conservative ideas of what would be best for the country.

I’d thought of using all the proper Korean names for the clothes especially, but decided that would make things difficult to read and binned the idea.

The opening note says the world is inspired by the Joseon dynasty. Regarding the initiatives to improve people’s lives, yes, but the hall/court system is more inspired by (what I know of) the Goryeo dynasty system.

I’ve been asked this before, but I’ll answer it here again: I’d never finished a sageuk drama before Flower Crew (very recently, and only because I was watching it with my sisters), and definitely not while I was planning this fic. Don’t judge me. The one I would recommend is Six Flying Dragons, most like Lavender Jade in tone. The others I’ve made headway into are Moonlight Drawn by the Clouds, Ruler: Master of the Mask, and The King and the Clown. 

I’m surprised no one brought up the foreshadowing I did near the end of chapter 16. Seven stars, two possible fates. The final fate of the two lovers (Kihyun and Changkyun) turned out to be a mix of the two stories: there was a fire, and the heavenly king was pulled from heaven (Kihyun from his position) to live the rest of his life with his lover.

Unlike my other secret couple (myungjin in Stray Romance) there are no hints of Hyunwoo and Minhyuk. They never did anything that would show. Minhyuk attempts to fluster Hyunwoo, but he does that with everyone.

Changkyun’s final card from the reading in chapter 8 is the two of Knives. It means a sacrifice. 

My favorite parts of the fic to write were Kihyun’s various descriptions of Changkyun’s beauty :)

This is, undoubtedly, the fic that has required the most work from me. I will say the most difficult scenes to write were Minhyuk’s fight with the assassin and Hyunwoo’s with Kim Sungil. Action scenes are not my forte. 

If you don’t know, I have written a romantic one-shot set in the same universe, titled Only One

2. The Vei

I don’t know how obvious this was, but the entire vei deck concept was inspired by and based on VIXX. The idea itself came from the Deck of Dragons in Steven Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen saga. 

There are 84 cards in the deck: 72 cards in six suits, and 12 Unaligned. The Unaligned can be paired off, where each card is the opposite of its pair (with the exception of the last pair). The Unaligned cards are:

Fountain and Grave - a beginning and an ending

The Open Hand and The Closed Hand - generosity and miserliness

The Lord and The Lady - bad luck and good luck

The Centaur and The Fox - someone proud and someone crafty

Magnolia and Crown of Thorns - misery in success and happiness in failure

Pyramid and Mirror - stability/instability and karmic justice/unfairness 

The six suits, along with the member they represent, are:

Stars - N

Rings - Leo

Shells - Ken

Scrolls - Ravi

Flowers - Hongbin

Knives - Hyuk

Each suit, like our playing cards, has a king, queen, and knight (jack). The king of each suit is based on a VIXX member, and has some particular qualities along with being very rare. All visual cues for the kings come from VIXX’s masterpiece MV, Shangri-La. 

Stars - King: the Emperor, Queen: Sloth, Knight: the Page. The Emperor is the rarest card in the deck, and is represented by a crowned man with no features, only darkness in place of a face. The Page is the icon of diligence (and was in Minhyuk’s hand in chapter X). The theme of the suit is mystic fates, technically the uncategorized cards. In the natural half of the deck.

Rings - King: Death, Queen: Envy, Knight: the Messenger. Death is a card of finality (like Grave). The theme of the suit is secrets. In the manmade half of the deck.

Shells - King: Life, Queen: Gluttony, Knight: the Fool. Life is a card of possibilities. The Fool denotes absolute luck--essentially the card of negation. The theme of the suit is environment. In the natural half of the deck.

Scrolls - King: the Mage, Queen: Greed, Knight: the Apprentice. The Mage is a figure of knowledge and learning. The theme of the suit is motivations. In the manmade half of the deck.

Flowers - King: the Elf, Queen: Lust, Knight: the Handmaid. The Elf is an elusive, hidden figure with hidden motives. The theme of the suit is happiness. In the natural half of the deck.

Knives - King: War, Queen: Wrath, Knight: the General. War is a decisive figure, one who brings final consequences. The them of the suit is decisions. In the manmade half of the deck. 

I’ve been asked about the game played with the vei deck as well. It is a game of my own invention, yes. It’s based on trick-taking games like Hearts, where the object is to win the least cards as possible. It’s played in alternating rounds, one where the Unaligned are not used, the next where they are. I didn’t hash out the details beyond some basic motifs, but it is technically playable. Only if you have a vei deck though. The whole gameplay hinges on the fact that some cards are less likely to appear when picked from the stacked deck. 

I’ve heard from more than one person that I got them into tarot as a hobby. That’s great! But the truth is I know next to nothing about tarot haha

3. Rambling

I might suggest skipping this. This adds 0 value to the post and fic aside from giving me a space to ramble and whoa it turned out long

First: King Hoseok. He’s copped a fair share of criticism in this fic regarding his passiveness and his acceptance of the unfair consort system. I will defend my handling of this character to the ends of the Earth. I’m not saying he’s perfect (obviously! the only character that comes close to that is Hyunwoo) but I think he did right by what he had.

A neat indication would be to flip back to chapter 14, the Hyungwon POV chapter. When Hoseok says that the two of them are alone even though the room is filled with servants, Hyungwon forgives it as a result of his upbringing. He’s undoubtedly biased, but he has a point. Hoseok was raised as king. Certain things that are so obvious to others don’t even register to him. The consort system, where they have to swear loyalty to him but he doesn’t to them? He was raised as seeing this as normal. They all were. He never even fathoms a consort would want to leave their position. When Kihyun tells him the truth about the affair, Hoseok is stunned. He doesn’t understand Hyungwon calling his old life of poverty a life of freedom.

Basically, Hoseok is just trying his best after being raised (and still living) in a life of absolute privilege. He expects loyalty, love, because he hasn’t been exposed to anything different. His situation is completely different from Jooheon’s, who’s grown up in a much more volatile situation. Jooheon had to learn early on to really open his eyes, to listen, and he’s much more observant and understanding. By the end of the fic Hoseok’s had a wakeup call, and he’s going to get better. 

Second: the consort system. Yes, it’s cruel. It wasn’t what Hakyeon had envisioned when he had his companions instated formally. But in Yishin this is the norm. No one thinks it cruel. It’s a position of huge honor (Kihyun thinks of it a few times).

Even though there’s no homophobia, misogyny etc, Yishin is a conservative society. They haven’t had a change of regime in 23 generations. They’re used to the norm, and consortship is the norm. Also, if you look at most conservative societies, you’ll see romantic love isn’t considered a prerequisite for marriage (which is kind of what consortship is). In many societies (including my own) many people would jump at a chance for consortship, no matter their relationship with the monarch. 

Third: the fic had a lot of subversion of typical historical expectations and standards. I still consider myself primarily a fantasy writer. Typical fantasy and historical works have a strong focus on honor, dignity, truth and justice and all those values.

Lavender Jade does not. Kihyun and Changkyun are oathbreakers, they are traitors (by Yishini law). Every insult flung at them is true. The king breaks his country’s laws to help them escape their deserved punishment. Even Hyunwoo, the honorable and admirable commandant, defeats Kim Sungil using an underhanded move, and gets his happy ending with another consort breaking his oath.

At times I seriously considered ending this as a tragedy. It felt fair. Kihyun and Changkyun had broken laws, broken promises. All that happened did as a result of their own actions (even Han Jehan’s targeting of Kihyun was, from what we see, brought about by Kihyun digging into his affairs). A sad ending would be deserved. But then I thought, hmm, why? Why should it be fair? Why should they be miserable because it is deserved? 

So we got the ending we got, and I hope you’re all happy. I know I am. 

Thank you for reading to the end of this (unnecessarily) long post! It’s almost as long as the fic itself haha If you have any questions or messages you can shoot me an ask or pm here, or on my Twitter or on CuriousCat ^^ 

So what’s next? I’m writing Wrong (Right) ID, an epistolary fic for ASTRO in the same style as Wrong (Right) Number, and A Match Made in Heaven, my VIXX karma officer fic (it’s an unusual concept! you should try it). Both fics will end soon, maybe even before the end of the year, so you won’t have to bear much waiting ^^;;

I’m also writing Blood, Water, a vampire fic with a strong emphasis on family for ATEEZ, so you can check that out too! This one’s going to be long and angsty and quite self indulgent ^^

I’ve been asked if I’m going to continue writing in this universe. The answer is, yes. I will be writing White Carnation, the book referenced in multiple chapters of this fic, as a novella. I might write a short story on how Hoseok and Hyungwon met, but that’s undecided. I’ve hashed out ideas for side stories involving VIXX (and the founding of Yishin) and ATEEZ (and the change of regimes in Eigak) in this CuriousCat ask and this Twitter thread, but those will probably only remain as threads ^^;; 

And in the future? I have Monsta X one shots planned, and perhaps another long fic too. All possibilities are open! I hope you’ll stay with me for them ♡

Again, and as always, thank you. I hope you enjoyed Lavender Jade ♡

[lucarioisinthevoid]

hi, me again– i decided to be a sneak and make something for your birthday anyway >:) i wanted to finish it much sooner, but me and my mom are currently working on the isolation of our house (styrofoam etc), as the builders we hired ditched us. that said, i have very little free time this week. but luckily i managed to make this on breaks! sorry for rambling, oops. once again, i hope you enjoy this and have a great day! (added in a new ask) oops i wanted to say this in my submission's description, but i got stressed and goofed up-- i decided to draw some davesport for you bc i LOVE the way you write them. their dynamic, their interactions, their individual feelings and how you describe them, it's PERFECT. you are such a talented writer (i don't say it often enough!). that's it, haha. sorry for sending it seperately ^^ - (Submission by @coffee-bat , hope you don't mind I connected your messages into one!) HOLY SHIT YOU DID IT YOU MADMAN DID IT HOW ARE YOU INSANE?! WITHIN THE SAME DAMN DAY- GOD, I'M JUST- HOW DO I- TALENTED WRITER MY ASS I CAN'T EVEN PROPERLY USE WORDS TO EMOTE HOW DAMN HAPPY I AM. I WANT TO SCREAM, I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THAT. I'm going to get an ego from this, I swear. Getting gifted such amazing art, something that had taken years to come to this point and a good chunk of time to create- People are spoiling me and I'm just- WHAT CAN I SAY ASIDE FROM THANK YOU? THAT I'D SACRIFICE MY LIFE TO YOU? DOES THAT COME OFF AS TOO STRONG? Also, that sounds incredibly annoying with being ditched like that. I'm glad you managed doing the rest by hand, but there should be some rules against just being ditched! I hope you'll get some justice, karma shall come and get their asses. If you wanna rant, I'm here and not going anywhere! I can only imagine the frustration that builds up because of stuff like this. Next time you’ll spot the warning signs sooner and avoid that awful type of company. Also, while there you can give me the DATE. MAKES IT EVEN MORE AMAZING THAT YOU DREW THIS. YOU HAD SO LITTLE TIME AND THEN YOU SACRIFICED MOST OF IT TO CREATE SOMETHING FOR ME- I'M SPEECHLESS, I'M ON AN ENDLESS LOOP OF THINKING "HOLY SHIT!" AND "AMAZING" AND "CHRIST, I DID NOT DESERVE SUCH A BLESSING BUT I TAKE IT" DON'T SAY SORRY FOR RAMBLING! I LOVE THEM! I LOVE PEOPLE INTERACTING WITH ME! IT'S AN HONOR AND A PLEASURE, ESPECIALLY WITH YOU! ALSO, I RAMBLE ALWAYS 3 TIMES AS MUCH. IT'S OKAY ON THIS BLOG. That it stressed you out is alien to me- something IRL I presume? Otherwise you should never be stressed about sending me anything >:0 I saw god himself, I am immune against everything- EXCEPT FLATTERY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. The dsaf community has attracted many talented writers! Lots of them with wonderful Dave's and Jacks- To be quite sincere, I genuinely struggle with them and feel like I'm writing them clumsily. Mainly because my Old Sport is not taking from the canon and more from the player options, making him a VERY wild card- it comes to a point in which I wonder if people are sometimes bothered and if I write him weirdly- Hearing that you think I'm doing so well and that I nail how they feel on their own and as a team, their odd and slightly unpredictable chemistry- My hands are shaking and I had to correct so many spelling errors that I probably didn’t even all catch because I'm trying to type so fast- I NEED TO CALM DOWN BUT IT'S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE. I LOVE WRITING THE GOOFS, THE EVIL, FUN, TORN BASTARDS. THOSE CHILDISH, CRAZY BOMB-PEOPLE. And god fucking dammit do I love the picture. I love how you draw bodies, hair, poses, expressions- YOU PERFECTLY NAILED THEM. Dave just a happy, laughing mess, while Old Sport, the lovestruck fool, between fully out of it in his affection and "goddammit Dave"- EVERYTHING is in this picture. I CAN FEEL HIS LOVE THROUGH THE WAY THEY ARE WITH EACH OTHER AND THAT IS SOMETHING TRULY SPECIAL! I do not regret having been greedy now, even if it's a big character flaw- I APPRECIATE IT! I LOVE IT! I WILL ALWAYS CARRY IT AROUND WITH ME! EVERYTHING I WILL SAY FROM NOW ON WILL ONLY BE REPEATING ITSELF, BECAUSE I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN- SO I SHALL STOP BEFORE THIS GETS ENDLESS. But you better give me the date, otherwise I will write you something at random throughout the year and you will never ever be prepared for when it comes- This is not an empty threat, friend. I have Wordpad and access to your blog and I will use it. You better submit your birthdate willingly. This is your last warning.

[telesthisia]

PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER:

one   /   (  alias / name  ) :  Amber uvu or Dee 

two   /   (  birthday  ) :  October 6

three   /   (  zodiac sign  ) :  Libra

four   /   (  height  ) :  IDK ANYMORE!!!! I’m not that tall but I’m not short either so I’ll leave that in your imaginations

five   /   (  hobbies  ) :  Sleeping (finger guns) but nAH working out, swimming, baking, writing, drawing... 

six   /   (  favourite colour  ) :  Pastels ;v; 

seven   /   (  favourite books  ) :  I don’t read you fools, I can’t read, me dumb 

eight   /   (  last song listened to  ) : Crying over ff7r remake, namely Flowers Blooming in the Church, it’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! LISTENING TO IT IS LIKE COMING HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME!!! 

nine   /   (  last film or show watched  ) :  Listen bud I’ve been too busy with work to do anything fun ;v; so I’ll get back to you on that once I have time to watch shows or movies ;0; erm also bad memory is bad... so... I think it was Hi Bye Mama! There’s a lot of k drama shows I’m eyeballing that’s on Netflix. Ahhh I want Tuesday to come already so I can have off again to do actual fun stuff!!! 

ten   /   (  story behind url  ) :  It’s a misspelling of telesthesia which is a fancy way of saying telepathy which Zel has it’s sorta her signature power ;v; aside from light magic!

eleven   /   (  inspiration for muse  ) : GOOD QUESTION?! Does neverending love for a character who barely has lines and pure spite for nintendo dropping the ball on her count as inspiration because that’s what drives me bby!! Listen if the SNES had amazing RPGs like Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana, and Final Fantasy 6 with a good story and characterization for its time then you know Nintendo could’ve done more with ALTTP and its story but!! Still a good game and my fav! But aside from that honestly, I’m shocked people seem to like this Zelda since she’s mostly headcanon base in fact I could just say she’s an OC at this point haha, before smash she didn’t have any characterization whatsoever so I based what we had for the manga AND few lines in ALTTP and OoX. But then smash said ‘nah she’s been genki girl all along’ and while i’m super jazzed and all for that i’m not gonna change my moe and placid yet depressed, emo, romantic and silently determined character I’ve built over the years, she has developed and changed so much since I first started out writing her and I gotta say I love seeing that growth. LIKE! The events of ALTTP is not... pretty, though tame compared to other Zelda titles she still lost a lot of people close to her and has seen the effects of Agahnim’s evil magic and she’s been affected by it heavily since then, also she was only a mcfreaking kid at the time so imagine the trauma that must’ve given her. She still moe and adorable just not overwhelmingly happy and cute like smash has her to be due to the various events where she almost dIES. Though I guess in AU where nothing bad happens she’d be a muted version of smash... gOD I’M SORRY I RAMBLED BUT POINT IS SPITE FOR NINTENDO AND LOVE FOR HER IS WHAT INSPIRES ME TO KEEP GOING!!! AS WELL AS THE AMAZING RP PARTNERS I HAD OVER THE YEARS THAT HELPED DEVELOP HER CHARACTER EVEN MORE AND THE SUPPORT FROM MY AMAZING MUTUALS WHO ENJOY HER, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR LOVING THIS BLUE EMO!!!! 

[millennium-thejiaqiverse]

Chapter 2: Past, Present and Future

Summary: This chapter is possibly the longest and most challenging to write in the Millennium series (I hope), because there are not one but THREE different time travelers each on their own merry way, one of them being a god. I tried my best to organize all the stuff from the past, present and future (no pun intended) for this to be easy to read. Hint hint, the main focus is still on Miles, main events are in the same universe on the same timeline, and the main points in time are one cool summer day (Miles’s past), then the day before Orientation Day (present), and a cold winter night (further in the past). Let’s see how the present shapes the past, which shapes the future thereafter (ties to Chapter 0’s cancerous plane of existence).

This is the last part of the 9th personal assignment, after more than a month’s hard work, Miles is more than ready for this stage.

Doing a last check then taking off when instructed with his small self-built aircraft, Miles relaxes a bit and smoothly makes the journey to the finish line—a small nearby airport. His class tutor is already waiting for him there. “I knew you would excel on this assignment,” the tutor says, “your results and feedback will be in on the 2nd day of next week. Good luck with your midterms!” “Thank you for the extra day of good weather conditions Ms. Sonmi, thank you so much for your help and understanding.” Miles goes to the tutor after parking his aircraft. “Of course, you were on sick leave Miles,” she says, “everyone has one of those days.” “Yep, one of those days...” to battle a parasite fungus that could kill you. Miles can’t help but think to himself as he replies.

It is around 18 in the VR simulation when Miles finished but in fact 22:26 in real life (he had also spent lots of time with his team to complete their group assignment). Miles goes to the toilet to freshen up and prepare to take the shuttle home.

“Heyyy...” Jason Finn Lee was looking into the mirror above the sinks when Miles enters the toilet, he quickly turns to greet him (but things get awkward fast because this guy can’t remember Miles’s name to save his life). “Hey Jason,” Miles breaks the awkward silence, walking to a sink to wash his hands. “There’s my favorite redhead! How was you day?” Jason inquires. Miles answers while washing his hands, “Well, I’ve finally got everything done. It was fun flying an aircraft for my PA (personal assignment), over some fields, and some red maple trees...” “You’re so organized man, my assignments are a mess, and I’m so stressed over midterms!” Jason just starts rambling on.

Miles’s mind wonders off. He thinks of the red maple trees around his parents’ house—well, it’s just his dad’s house now; Miles has a tent he would bring out to the maple trees every now and then, he remembers he used to carry this tent out there everyday when he was about 4 or 5, and hang out there for hours. Miles again recalls that one day, that day he had the strange encounters when he was 5.

That summer day started as normal, little Miles finished doodling some cartoony multicolored trains in his tent, he was walking up to the front door of the house to bring in his drawings when he just had this feeling he had to see something. He looked, only to see someone almost identical to his 5-year-old self, a little Miles #2 but with torn up cloth, leaves in his messy hair and an unexplained look of sudden realization in his eyes; he looked on as little Miles #2 ran to hide in the tent, pulling the zipper shut. He was about to go to the tent to confront this strange kid...

Right now, Miles’s recollection is semi-interrupted with utter silence and a feeling of dread his 5-year-old self had experienced at that very moment back then on that fateful day. “Jason?” Noticing that Jason has abruptly stopped making a sound, Miles looks over to him, only to see an apparition grabbing onto the nose and mouth of his struggling schoolmate.

“... The ghost!” Miles stammers, “not again!” Distorted frozen face, hateful eyes, it is the same apparition little Miles’d seen moments after seeing little Miles #2 that day! “You! I know what it means to see your doppelgänger!” What they said as they charged his younger self echos through his mind, “you are going to die!”

Miles is in shock. This apparition is very dangerous! Jason cannot breathe, he tries to fight back, but the apparition isn’t effected at all. Seeing the apparition hurting his schoolmate, Miles immediately snaps out of it and throws the apparition off of Jason then keeps them at bay, and as soon as Jason caught his breath, Miles pushes him out of the room, taking his memory of the attack and planting a sense that he’s done his bathroom trip on autopilot. “Ah, you’re stronger than I thought,” the apparition speaks. “I’m taking you off this plane of existence!” Miles says as he restrains them.

On that cool summer day, after little Miles was jumped by the apparition blocking his way home, he gave up on confronting little Miles #2, dropped his drawings and darted off running away from them. “Why would it turn out like this?! Everything is horrible!” The apparition screeched and chased after him with a machete, “why must I suffer? Why must we part? The love towards her was so much yet you’d never get to spend a life with her! Never even said ‘I love you’ before leaving!!” “Leave me alone!” Little Miles was very scared, he went off the neighborhood roads and ran into the red maple woods—bumping into low branches and tearing his clothes—straight to a cliff. “Stop this futile attempt to get away child, die for me!” Waving the machete, the apparition taunted him, slowly passing through the trees, “you are horrible, let me end this.” Running a little ahead of the apparition, little Miles’s legs were giving out, at that moment he wished so much that all this wasn’t happening and he was back at the front door, going back into the safety of his home—

—Suddenly, there he was, out of the woods, but at this strange train station, not at home. Parked at the platform he stood on was one of the cartoony trains he doodled whilst imagining it making a stop in the yard of his home some day. With no idea where else to go and this train being the relatively more comprehensible option, little Miles boarded it to test his luck. And before he knew it, he was there in the yard of his home again, and he saw “little Miles #2” going to the front door with some drawings, except he didn’t have torn cloth and... little Miles suddenly realized there was no doppelgänger little Miles #2 at all, it was just himself all along—somehow he time travelled through that strange train station! Remembering this was when the apparition would charge his past self, little Miles ducked into the tent and shut himself in, hugging his legs to wait it all out.

Right now, Miles is once more traveling with a train through the Junction—his strange train station—to the past. The apparition gave up on fighting him (they decided they are powerful enough and didn’t need to hunt to gain more power at that moment), escaped his grip and went on a volatile plane to crawl their way back in time to quote on quote “end their suffering from its beginning” (despite Miles telling them this is not how time travel works after he realized the apparition didn’t recognize him at the moment), so Miles now needs to track them down and make sure they don’t cause a ruckus for nothing.

Boom, the train shakes as it enters a field of light, Miles stops by to see what that was about.

This is a freezing snowy winter night. Miles meets a gang of robed sorcerers maintaining an intricate puzzle box of their design—a cluster of volatile planes of existence piled at one spot, like an invisible labyrinth, imprisoning a sacrificial lamb, a girl, pleading for her release. The sorcerers are repeatedly chanting something in Latin, something along the lines of “take this innocent sacrifice and bring forth the apocalypse”, classic stuff. Miles enters the puzzle box attempting to free the girl, it is clear this puzzle is not just a day’s work: Each plane there is built by the ghost who haunts it, judging from their robes they are from the same society of sorcerers, Miles has to fight constantly to survive their attacks. Miles plans to pull the girl out of the puzzle box before she is sacrificed, but after going through some layers of this puzzle, he realized this whole thing has to be torn down in order to free her—she would somehow always be on a different plane than Miles, and Miles’s magic is limited by the structure of this puzzle box therefore cannot reach through to her. Time is running out, her organs are bleeding, Miles blows the puzzle box apart, weakening the sorcerers around it tremendously; he heals the girl, she runs off screaming as soon as her feet touches the ground, scared out of her mind.

“You fool! You thought we didn’t know there would be time traveling fools like you who’d try to stop us?” Says the one who seems to be the head sorcerer with a weak but stern voice, “the apocalypse will be upon us regardless of you efforts. My daughter’s innocent soul is just one of many sources of the energy we’d use to grow our cancerous dimension, the energy you supplied to our labyrinth before destroying it was needless to say far more than what a few souls can provide, the cancer will now root on our universe and thanks to your little retaliation you kickstarted this process! You have achieved nothing! Oh well, another pawn of the Court will cease to exist in our hands!!” Miles has to think about this, meanwhile he’s just looking at the sorcerer. “Be surprise you idiot!” The sorcerer gets angry at Miles’s lack of proper reaction. Miles carefully words his sentence, “I can tell you first hand that your efforts here are not in vain.” “Hah,” the sorcerer lays his head down, “people will thank us for doing this.”

Just what kind of maniac would sacrificing his own daughter? Walking in the winter snow, Miles thinks to himself after he’s a distance away from the scene, “at least I saved the daughter and she’d be alright, that wasn’t all for nothing... wait, that reminds me—the thing, the real idiot I’m here to watch!”

A gust of summer wind blows through the air. Making sure the apparition wasn’t in sight anymore, little Miles ran through the front door, slamming it behind him. “Miles? Is that you?” It was his mom coming to the door. Little Miles panicked, he wrecked his clothes and he was a mess, mom would be so mad! That was when everything stopped, leaving little Miles puzzled. “This is quite an unconventional first meeting.” a voice came from the living room, “Don’t be alarmed Miles,” the words brought a sense of calmness, little Miles walked into the living room to see a man looking out of the floor to ceiling windows, “I’m Atlas, some guy who carries the cosmos. Good job throwing that thing off your trail.” Everything around them was frozen in time, little Miles saw his mom on the stairs, about to turn the corner to the living room. “Atlas? A titan?” Little Miles asked. “Yes, that’s me,” Atlas turned to face him, “furthermore, the information about me you downloaded into your head is quite correct—I must admit that’s a pretty handy way to acquire knowledge.” “But what about that angry man who chased me?” Little Miles wanted to know more, “he is strange.” “The apparition you encountered breached the veil which separates your plane of existence and another volatile one, and I’m here to capture them.” Atlas gave him an answer, “however, that’s not the purpose of our meeting. Miles Millward, you have a unique talent with magic. A long journey of self discovery and learning lies ahead of you, this journey wouldn’t be easy. I cannot tell you you’ll have no worries or fears in the future, but I will be there for you when and only when you need my help. You know where to find me, in here.” He gestured to his head. The next thing little Miles knew was that everything was back to normal, his mom greeted him with a raised eyebrow and a “what were you up to?” regarding his clothes and hair, Atlas was nowhere to be seen.

The snow is falling. “This is my chance,” the apparition bursts through the redwood gates of a mansion. “Stop it right there!” Miles yells. “There you are child, having fun lost in your thoughts?” The apparition takes notice of him. “For the last time, you can’t change what you wanted to change no matter what you do here! Think about it!” Miles tries to reason with them. “I’m not listening!” The apparition taunts him. “What in the world?” A maid has rushed to the broken down gates. Miles quickly shrouds himself and the apparition from her sight, not wanting to scare her. “I don’t know why, but you think of me again and again,” the apparition roars to Miles, “the more you think, the more you wonder about me you’d feed my power! I just never thought we’ll be here this soon. Now I’ll finally get what I want no matter what!”

“Eric?” A voice from the landing facing the gate, “Eric where have you been?! You can’t keep chasing after some ‘supernatural’ nonsense and running off disappearing like that, I worry!” That’s when Miles noticed a lady rushing down to a figure that appeared at the gate during this mayhem. “Yes, there she is,” the apparition cheers. Miles looks at the figure at the gate then at the apparition, then it hits him. That figure is actually the ghost of this Eric guy, while the apparition he’s been dealing with isn’t any ghost as he initially believed, but a mindless manifestation of a burning desire, they certainly have very little reason in them. “Don’t do that ever again!” She is crying with joy. “Come to us and be united!” The manifestation demands. Apparently this powerful manifestation worked a deal with Eric in Miles’s absence. Eric is lured back from the dead and made visible to the living, probably on the promise he could join his love forever, this manifestation possibly planned on binding this lady Melanie and Eric for eternity which will certainly fail at some point and further harm all that are involved! It is clear the apparition sees joining them together as their purpose and not completing this job as their torment.

“This is sick!” Miles is really close to just annihilating that manifestation at this point, but he was stopped. “Calm down Miles,” it’s Atlas, putting a hand on his shoulder. “They’re... Melanie and Eric are in a very bad situation!” Miles is confused. “You have a drive to help and save people, this is good, but you have to keep this in mind,” Atlas explains, “we learnt that history runs on cause and effect, the cause and effect that we’re not always a part of. This couple don’t really need any help you know?” “Huh?” Miles questions his mentor. Atlas points to Eric and Melanie to tell him to watch on. “I’m leaving you Melanie,” Eric says unexpectedly. “What?” Melanie’s jaw drops, “but after all that we’ve been through?” “We’ll never see each other again,” Eric keeps the now agitated apparition away from Melanie with all his might, “this is for the best! You shouldn’t have had faith in me!” “What are you doing?” The apparition is ready to pounce on everyone here, “we end this now!” Eric notices and runs out through the gates, leaving Melanie behind, now crying with heartbreak and anger. “What ever did I see in him?” Melanie shakes her head. The apparition of course chases him outside. “You know you love her! You wanted to say you love her, you wanted to be with her!” The apparition screams, “you wanted this so much you created me!! And I’ll never let you off with that! Even in death, I’ll make sure you never rest until you man up and fulfill your desires!”

Through the snow, Miles and Atlas chase after them. “The manifestation is distorting even more,” Miles refers to the apparition who’s growing increasingly grotesque, “the more this guy suppresses his feelings the more this manifestation has a reason to grow...” “Although it doesn’t look like it but Eric will prevail,” Atlas isn’t very worried, “marriage at this day and age is hardly about love, it is a union of two families. He’s done the right thing letting her go, all he has to do now is accept his sacrifice.” “Then I’ll tell him that!” Miles teleports in front of Eric, stopping him in his track. “Miles! He has to do this by himself!” Atlas informs Miles.

“This is all my fault...” Eric sighs, “you know, in fact I couldn’t give her the life she deserves in the first place, I’m just a nobody with no status. She is to be wedded to the Brickdales tomorrow, and that’s probably for the best.” “We’re not done, you are coming with me,” the apparition catches up with Eric. “I feel the most difficult thing isn’t the goodbye to my love, but to let go of the fact that we will part forever.” Eric continues. “But you don’t have to, it was a mistake, we’ll go back and fix...” the apparition is then cut off by Eric. “I know Melanie,” Eric stands against them, “she will moved on, and William loves her no less than I do, I would only have one last gift to her now that I’m dead. If this fiend is truly just my longing for Melanie, then I set it free.” “Well this is a load of crap,” although much weaker since Eric punched them by letting it go, the apparition isn’t finished, “but I’m not giving up on the reason I exist! I still suffer! I’ll just have to regain my strength and try again!”

The apparition disappears onto a volatile plane. “Unnatural! The manifestation survived being cut off, and now they’re traveling through time again!?” Miles jumps. “This is indeed unnatural. I’ll handle this Miles,” Atlas goes after the apparition. “Ahh, I’ve never been so at peace,” Eric finally relaxes.

Miles follows his mentor, “Atlas, I can help!” Hearing that, Atlas turns around to him, “Settle down Miles, you’ve had quite a long day, I came to your aid earlier because I sensed you’re already exhausted. I’ve got this. Here, you’ll be at home right on time if you exit the plane now.” “You’re right, my mind’s getting jumpy,” Miles agrees, “and it’s in my favor to take a break before midterms.” Atlas sees Miles off then continues after the apparition.

Arriving at the cool summer day, Atlas comforts little Miles who’s just been jumped at the front door of his home, and thereafter goes on to capture the apparition his after.

“So, Atlas, you’ve got another one.” Atropos greets Atlas, her eyes focused on her freshly completed tapestry, “know that the Court will be happy to take over this matter.”

@cadewrites

[junker-town]

The inventor of dropkicks fought fascists and got kicked out of Notre Dame

Art by Tyson Whiting

What have you done?

Giuseppe Antonio Savoldi is a legend. His accomplishments don’t make sense together as a list, because when you write them all out they look like the ramblings of a compulsively lying grandfather. His story is literally incredible, and now that I’ve heard it I think it’s my job to spread the good word and make sure everyone is aware of the absurdity that was his life.

I learned about Savoldi during an afternoon spent scouring newspapers.com for the term “charity wrestling.” No real reason. Thought it was a funny term. Turns out there used to be a ton of charity wrestling events. Anyway, that search led me to this headline.

The Los Angeles Times Sports Section, November 18, 1930

Good work, long-dead LA Times sports editor! You got me hooked. That combination of words, the fact it’s not just in the sports section but it’s the leading headline, I needed to know more.

I needed to know Joe Savoldi.

Pissing off the Catholic Church

The Savoldi family emigrated to Michigan when Giuseppe was a kid. In addition to anglicizing his name, our future star took up all the sports offered by his new, strange home. That led Joe to Notre Dame, where he played fullback on some preposterously talented, Knute Rockne-coached teams. I mention Rockne not because he was a very good and famous coach but because I wanted to say that (in a longwinded way) he’s responsible for Ronald Reagan’s presidential slogan, “Win one for the Gipper.” Maybe I’ll expand on that in the comment section if someone reminds me.

As for the dude we actually care about, Joe brought unmatched physicality out of the backfield. He paired that with some previously unheard-of acrobatics, diving over the pile for touchdowns when he didn’t feel like bulldozing his way in. Folks called him “Jumping Joe” or “Galloping Joe,” despite “Local Meat Monster” being the nickname that fit best. In addition to those wildly imaginative titles, after the 1929 season Joe could also go by “National Champion”. He helped pave Notre Dame’s way to the title and had them set up to be even better in 1930.

But trouble came in the final month of the season. It turned out Joe had gotten married in secret to a high school girl a few years prior. This news broke only after Joe filed for divorce, and boy did the Catholic Church not like that. Joe was forced to leave Notre Dame and without him the Fighting Irish nearly blew their chance at another national championship. Unfortunately (for Joe), they pulled it out against Army and finished undefeated for back-to-back titles.

Despite the abrupt ending, Joe got what he needed from his time at college. Those days at Notre Dame put him on the map and made him a hot commodity.

Pissing off the Packers

Green Bay’s owner Curley Lambeau liked what he saw in Joe. After Savoldi left Notre Dame, rumors quickly popped up that he’d been signed by the Packers. The trouble was that college athletes couldn’t be signed until their class had graduated, so Green Bay backtracked a bit and made it clear they weren’t going to do that — any honorable organization would never look to break the rules in order to acquire talent. This gave the Chicago Bears a window through which to scream “lol fuck that” and sign our hero to a contract.

Lambeau’s fumings are humored by the Green Bay Press Gazette, November 27, 1930

This was a pretty big deal, especially in the eyes of Lambeau, who sure complained about it a lot. He went so far as to point out the league could even kill off the Bears franchise because of the move. It never reached that point, but once Lambeau got all the jealous rage out of his system the league did fine Chicago $1,000 for every game that Joe played for them. The Bears happily paid the Joe fee and won their final three games — which included a 21-0 shellacking of Green Bay. Well worth the money.

Joe hadn’t lost a football game in over two years. Whether he’d grown bored or became annoyed at all the rules keeping him in check, it was time for him to move on. That’s when Joe found his true calling: wrestling.

Jumping Joe the Dropkicking Foe

As a wrestler, Joe got off to a rowdy start. After just his second match Joe received a 30-day suspension. Why? Because he head butted his opponent into the hospital (his first opponent also found himself in the hospital after their match). Ignoring the hospitalizations, Joe won that second match thanks to multiple “flying tackles,” which I think we can all agree is cool as shit.

Fast forward a couple years and Joe’s status in the wrestling world had erupted. Headlining events as a heavyweight, Joe proved he knew how to create spectacle. In 1933 he debuted his soon-to-be favorite weapon: the Flying Dropkick. He used it to blast opponents out of the ring, dazzling spectators with a move that in the words of 1930s sportswriters sounds especially brutal:

The drop-kick is the latest “hold” Savoldi has perfected, and like the flying boot, is used from a standing position without warning. Joe simply drops to the mat on the back of his neck in front of his foe and shoots his feet straight into his opponent’s face.

Bettmann Archive

That’s pretty much what he did for the next decade. He toured the world dropkicking fools, turning teeth into souvenirs until his next role came calling.

You know Mussolini, right?

So, World War II popped off and everyone agreed it was a bad time. The U.S. military, though, had a secret weapon: Joe. According to his son, they approached Jumping Joe because, “he could speak fluent Italian and knew all the dialects. He was put in Italy six months before the invasion of Italy.” Hand-selected to be part of the Office Strategic Service in their Special Operations branch, one superior declared that Joe was, “built like a gorilla and moved lightly as a leopard.”

The stories of his missions, now declassified, are well worth reading about. We’ll focus on Joe’s final exploit, which involved a race with the Nazis to track down Italian scientist Carlo Calosi. That race was won, naturally, by the team that included Galloping Joe. They yanked Calosi out of Italy, therefore keeping his knowledge of some newly-engineered torpedo technology out of German hands (and keeping a bullet out of Calosi’s head).

Once his time serving in the OSS was complete, Joe celebrated the only way that made sense: he went back to wrestling. Joe eventually settled down in Kentucky, retired from wrestling, and taught high school science for 11 years. That last statement may have been his most harrowing feat. Joe’s life was ludicrous at a nearly nonstop rate.

Meanwhile, I’ve put off getting groceries for three days so I’m going to go do that. For Joe!

[devourable]

what do yall think ab sterling having like very intense levels of shame when it comes to intimacy and its the real reason why he gets so snippy ab giving/receiving it