#.KAYFABE

[ofneedlemoving]

TAG DUMP

[liquidstar]

my brother was making fun of me and our other brother for having the same haircut, and we were immediately like "what the fuck are you talking about? you had this EXACT SAME haircut like a year ago. this is your haircut too. jackass." so we start arguing back and forth until our mom stops us and says "come here." and she brings out her ID from when she was a teenager and... its the same haircut.

[butchmartyr]

a lot of older norms for internet and site etiquette are shit but you know what was good that we need to bring back? lurking. you need to lurk moar

[charlott2n]

being a predator animal is hot. i wont elaborate because i dont need to

[andy-jam-blog]

I can’t believe you started this all out of spite

[samijey]

Kevin will never not speak facts

[ineffableigh]

Holy shit.

Get your noise cancelling headphones out because you can JUST BARELY HEAR Aziraphale say "out help" at the end of his mouthed "We need help" Alternate possibility being "We need help/we need to get help."

Oh my God.

Kayfabe theory confirmed? @ao3cassandraic

Pertaining to my other post:

[zwoelffarben]

Ya'all.

Gonchpost responsibly

Tag your unreality

[homoeroticgrappling]

If I had a nickel for every time a blonde member of the AEW women's locker room was absolutely convinced she could have a thing with Bowens, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

[jtl-fics]

The thing i like the most about Kevin Day is that there is a chance that he would do anything so long as it os something he can be convinced he should do for the role of “Kevin Day - Son of Exy”.

Like he is someone who is, in public, playing a character and therefore he will do many things that he Kevin Day - a dude might not really want to do.

I bet its a game for the Foxes to try and get him to break character in front of cameras / see what they can get away with when he’s “Kevin Day - Son of Exy” even knowing that Kevin’s going to throw a real damn fit the second the cameras are off.

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

not to post like it’s still 2022 but how did nobody notice that goncharov was a Macbeth adaptation???

like. we’ve got our troubled protag (macbeth/goncharov) whose ambitious wife (lady mac/katya) pressures him into clawing his way to the top of a violent power structure (scotland’s monarchy/the italian mafia). he ends up ordering the death of a former friend because said friend realizes what he’s done (sending assassins after banquo/sending ice pick joe after mario, but the latter has more emotional depth since joe and mario were friends). valery takes on the role of the witches by supplying goncharov with ominous warnings and hinting that all is preordained as he tries to bring goncharov to justice. in reaction, goncharov attempts to destroy potential threats (sending ice pick after andrey and sofia, who survive because of joe’s failure to go through with it and subsequent death in the church scene), paralleling the assassination of the macduff family. it’s also when we get that sweet gunfight amid the historical ruins, but that’s not important rn. when katya learns that goncharov tried to have sofia killed, she breaks down and tries to shoot him on the bridge scene (“if you loved me you wouldn’t have missed” etc etc) before almost throwing herself over the edge, bringing to mind lady macbeth’s mental collapse and subsequent suicide. instead of birnam wood coming to dunsinane, we get the boat scene. when goncharov asked valery why he was so determined to bring him back to russia to be prosecuted instead of just killing him, valery told goncharov “you’re untouchable so long as you’re on Italian soil” and the boat isn’t technically on Italian soil. andrey and goncharov have their stand-off at the ship’s wheel, symbolizing their fight for control over the system. meanwhile, sofia and katya make their escape, getting the chance to survive and leave the system of violence that killed their shakespearean counterparts. goncharov doesn’t know that katya is still alive, so his speech winding up his pocketwatch when he’s talking about how her time ran out and how nothing could stop the clocks? that was his “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow” moment! when andrey shoots goncharov and DOESN’T MISS, it’s not just gay, it’s his “man of no woman born” parallel. he managed to do what nobody else could. but this movie has no malcolm character to bring the system back to normal and take the throne/lead the mafia. it’s just andrey at the wheel. and the deafening ticking of goncharov’s pocketwatch, laying face-open in the pool of blood, before it runs out of time and winds down for good.

[ao3cassandraic]

Kayfabe: A Good Omens meta

"Kayfabe," in wrestling, is the performance (including outside the wrestling ring) of whatever storyline is being woven around the wrestlers. Breaking kayfabe is Serious Business for a wrestler; the illusion is part of the event. If you ever wondered how John Cena could anchor an entire HBO miniseries brilliantly, kayfabe is a big part of the answer.

Because of their histories and how their respective Head Offices treat them, Crowley and Aziraphale approach their version of kayfabe -- their whole "I am an angel! You are a demon! We're hereditary enemies!" schtick, also their "we are good bad proper little footsoldiers, honest, Boss" schtick to their respective Head Offices -- very, very differently.

I promise there's a point to this. I PROMISE. But let me walk through it first.

Both of them know that one awkward question to Upstairs at the wrong moment and its Fallsville. Crowley, however, knows a couple of things that Aziraphale doesn't have to:

Punishment isn't just once; in some ways, the Fall is never over. Beelzebub or Hastur can throw you in the Dung Pits whenever, after all, or feed you to a Hellhound, or zap you like an Eric. Crowley's lot do not send rude notes. (s2: we do not know what happened to Crowley after Hell dragged him back at the end of the Resurrectionists 'sode, but I think it safe to say it was not great for Crowley. Litotes: your key to quality meta.)

Downstairs can and does check in -- or drag Crowley Downstairs for a chat and possibly a bit of idle torture -- whenever they feel like it. Downstairs seems pretty disorganized, especially its leadership, so I'd expect ad-hoc surprise inspections from them. Downstairs can invade Crowley's flat's TV, his Bentley's radio, and his very mind to perform those inspections. Crowley is never, ever safe from this. He can't relax. Ever.

Heaven, on the other hand, has 37 levels of scriveners and zero interest in Earth. Talk of "reprimands" and "miracle budgets" and Michael being a stickler and whatnot suggests a formal review process happening on a schedule, governed largely by the dreaded (but quite possibly fake-able or spinnable) "paperwork" rather than direct observation by Aziraphale's peers or superiors. Otherwise, Aziraphale is usually left to his own devices. Remember how startled he is when Gabriel shows up at the sushi restaurant in s1? This is unusual!

(We also know from Muriel that Heaven's records office doesn't seem to get consulted a whole lot. It's possible this just means that first-through-thirty-sixth-level scriveners handle everything, but in my experience of large bureaucracies, it's the folks at the bottom of the hierarchy who invariably get run off their feet first. Don't see why Heaven would be any different.)

Moreover, Heaven's punishments seem pretty light, on the whole? Our angel is so anxious and so sensitive to slights that I'm sure the reprimands aren't fun, and nobody likes a reduced miracle budget... but Heavenly "needs improvement" reviews don't seem to be a patch on the Dung Pits. The real threat is Falling, which is more than horrible enough to serve as deterrent; Heaven doesn't need to add torments.

Moreover moreover, Aziraphale is mostly aligned with his Head Office in a way that Crowley really, really isn't. I'm sure Aziraphale does a lot of his Heaven assignments with a song in his heart and a skip in his step -- it's mostly not smiting or the like. Crowley... probably spends a lot of his work time figuring out how to obey the letter of Hellish law while defying its spirit. Crowley's in far more danger of angering his bosses.

So Aziraphale doesn't have to keep up kayfabe a lot of the time, not even while interacting with Crowley. He can and does save it for the rare occasions Heaven takes a personal interest. Crowley, however, must keep up kayfabe always, whether Aziraphale's there or not. The courage it must have taken that snake to slither up the wall of Eden!

The way Crowley navigates his permanent need for kayfabe is twofold. First, his all but instinctive refusal to accept any positive word or compliment about himself or his actions from anyone ever -- "I'M NOT NICE!" If Hell were ever to hear someone characterizing Crowley that way... That's also why Crowley is a bit less exercised when Jimbriel calls him nice: "nobody'll ever believe you."

Second, a species of Orwellian doublethink: maintaining a running commentary in his head of how he's going to justify any unHellish actions to Hell, since he can never know exactly when he'll have to or what exactly they'll have a bug up their butt (sorry, Beez) about. Even high as a kite on laudanum in the Edinburgh cemetery, Crowley can explain his current justification (in a curiously sober voice -- is Crowley ever really high in that scene? or is it all kayfabe? I lean toward kayfabe) to Aziraphale, "Not kind! Off my head on laudanum, not responsible for my actions."

We can see the kayfabe mismatch play out a few times, and it does appear that Aziraphale gets more concerned for Crowley's safety and more aware of Crowley's need for kayfabe post-Arrangement. That doesn't mean he always remembers, of course -- he wouldn't, he just doesn't have that same desperate need. And, of course, the ineffable walnuts do not communicate, as s2 went to some lengths to point out. I do think kayfabe is part of that -- it's hard for Crowley to be sincere when he's constantly doublethinking, and Aziraphale's off-and-on involvement with kayfabe (and all his other tendencies toward lying) disincline him to achieve or even learn about honest communication.

One s1 scene I went back and rewatched while thinking about this was the Globe scene, which contains Aziraphale's Saint-Peter-esque three-time denial of Crowley. I find it easy now to read that as Aziraphale going "oh crap do I need to drop back into kayfabe now? I didn't break kayfabe, did I?" and Crowley grinning, at least partly as reassurance. (Partly, of course, because Aziraphale is cute and funny even when kayfabing -- and partly because Aziraphale's sudden drop into kayfabe is Aziraphale trying to protect Crowley, of course Crowley's pleased by that.)

The wall pin, now that I think about it, also gains a little nuance from this. Crowley's fear-laced ire is genuine, but how many times must Aziraphale have heard Crowley snarl at him not to break kayfabe in this way? No surprise he's a little unimpressed. (With Crowley's demand. He's clearly very impressed by Crowley.)

In the s2 Job minisode, Aziraphale hilariously drops kayfabe (and that epic whole-body halo, loved that, great job FX folks) almost immediately. Crowley allows it, because Crowley is on firm ground -- Hell will be just fine with Crowley wrapping the angel in a Chuck-Jones-cartoon amount of scroll parchment and flipping him off.

When angel and demon collude on the con later, of course, they observe kayfabe, improv-style -- Crowley helps Aziraphale deal with the Job's-children situation without giving either of them away to the watching angel posse. Interestingly, it's Aziraphale who de-gecko-izes the kids. That gives Crowley an out, sort of: "look, the mansion collapse missed them because they were in the cellar, I turned them into geckos, totally Hellish thing to do, they'd never survive in the wild, but then this bloody interfering angel went and changed them back!"

And how does Crowley console a distraught angel who thinks he's about to be dragged to Hell? Crowley explains kayfabe in the fewest and clearest words possible. "Well, yeah, you did, but... I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"

So yeah. That's kayfabe for the Ineffable Walnuts.

But I promised there was a point to this, didn't I? Yes, I have a point.

My point is...

my POINT is...

my point IS...

(not dolphins, not this time)

My point is, how much of s2's Final Fifteen Minutes is kayfabe?

That's my point.

[cidnangarlond]

“You know what this city says about tears, Goncharov. Do not shed them before my blood is finished spilling.”

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

[samijey]

I'm always a sucker for wrestlers checking on/thanking each other during a pin so here's Jey stroking/squeezing Ilja's arm at the end of their match

[kkbardd]

shut-in habits

[yonpote]

i feel like right now it's less of a door and more of a window with extremely thin sheer curtains that let in sunlight. but the curtain is still there like "ermmm i GUESS the makers of this game wanted us to play a COUPLES game for some reason 🙄 so bizarre!"