#...maybe another Arts Crit? Like a five star Astrea?

[rex101111]

I was thinking that, despite how relatively popular she is, Shuten has only had one extra version of her, so I started thinking of what kind of Alter she’d get and what sort of event would bring it about...and I hit upon a really stupid one that made me laugh so I wanna share it.

Ruler Shuten. Yes, I’m serious. 

Now the whole point of a Ruler is that they are supposed to be outside the conflict and make sure that a grail war doesn’t go off the rails and everyone follows the rules, a “judge” in other words, right? So, I was thinking, what sort of war or contest or whatever could Shuten possibly be qualified to be a judge of?

And then it hit me, cooking contest!

It would be a really silly event, like Oniland, and likewise spurred by Ibaraki saying something that manages to hit Shuten’s usually well hidden soft side. This time the younger Oni complains about how the food they serve in Chaldea isn’t as good as they used to have back on Mt. Ooe, and how now she has to share instead of just having as much as she wants. It’s a selfish want on the surface but Shuten can see that underneath that its just Ibaraki feeling a bit nostalgic for the good ol’ days.

The event is of course a big and bombastic cooking contest, like Master Chef but with explosions and people stabbing each other. All the famous, and infamous, chef servants fight a heated battle to satisfy the taste of The Grand Judge...Shuten Douji???

Everyone points out how outlandish it is that Shuten somehow managed to manifest as a Ruler, the loudest complaints of course come from Raikou, who is miffed both because she has to deal with Shuten and because she tried to cook something for Kintoki and it turned out awful so she’s using this chance to improve her skills and having to have her cooking judged by Shuten is seriously ruffling her feathers something fierce.

R: “How the hell can you possibly be qualified to judge me, insect?”

S: “Do you know how much wine I’ve drank? The feasts I’ve consumed? By sheer volume alone my tongue has more experience than anyone here~”

R: “You ate people!”

S: “Exactly! Thank you for reminding me! Yes! I ate people! Young and Old! Rich and Poor! Man and Woman! My tastes are diverse and well balanced! Truly my qualifications run deep! So here I am before you, as Ruler, as judge.”

R: “I-! You-!”

S: “So be sure to try your best~~”

Cue Shuten vanishing in a flash of light and Raikou gnashing her teeth and so begins the event. Tamamo and Kiyohime and especially Tomoe continue to be utterly atrocious at cooking and are the first bosses, Benienma continues to suffer as she opts out of the contest because she knows it would be unfair so she tries to train everyone else and boy is she in for a rough time, Archer and Boudica forming a quiet but intense rivalry as they battle it out in the kitchen for the title of Mom Of Chaldea, just a lot of small scenes of servants having fun and cooking like those mini-scnes in Oniland.

Shuten would be the featured 5 star limited servant of course, dressed in a mix of flowing white robes and a chef’s outfit that, because this is FGO and this is Shuten, gets skimpier the more you ascend her. The one thing that doesn’t change is that in every ascension...she has a little white chef’s hat between her horns. It only changes in her final ascension where it becomes a BIG white chef’s hat between her horns.  

The ending would be something like Raikou finally cooking something that satisfies Shuten (and beating each other up because they couldn’t resist) and she then turns around...and gives it to Ibaraki, who marvels at how this is exactly like the stew or whatever they used to have “way back when”. 

Ibaraki turns to Raikou and thanks her loudly and the samurai can only stammer a quiet, “thank you” and out of instinct pulls out a handkerchief to wipe Ibaraki’s face. Shuten just watches this with a quiet smile.   

So yeah if we can get a Ruler that’s a Casino Manger/Playboy Bunny why not Chef Shuten? Why the hell not huh???