#...actually scared me when i saw it in my recommended as i opened youtube. even scarier going | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

burnedbyshoto · 4 years ago

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go the distance

(will you) go the distance

— You’re perfectly content in life except for the fact that you are not dating Deku. When his best friend won’t help you out, you turn to the dark side to get what you want.

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pairing: pro hero!midoriya izuku x bad villain!reader

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, manga spoilers, pro hero!au, villain!reader, ofa usage for sex lol, size difference, manhandling, public sex, slight degradation and praise, deku eats his cum outta ya pussy, big dick deku, corruption but make it opposite, deku is a pervert change my mind

word count: 12,715

a/n: well, yall already knew I wanted to make this fic a reality, so here it is for bnharems villain collab!! check out all the already amazing stories if you haven’t already. thank you to kara, sky, and jo for reading this for me because lmao im ass rn. I’m gonna go to bed because I partied a bit too hard last night.

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your quirk: distortion – can make afflicted persons vision shift 6 cm to the left or right at the cost of having their own vision shift the same way

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“Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcasted rumors of a villain running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures, and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning.

“Road maintenance endeavors to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.

“Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city?

“Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved, but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city, please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary. One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.”

The female reporter closes her eyes, despite still being on the air, her eyebrows furrowed as she exasperatedly sighs.

“Was that good enough, Mirage?”

You look at her with a pout, your eyes then clenching shut as your lips move with unsaid words as you motion for the cameras to stop rolling. You tilt your head right and left, muttering a bit.

“Did that seem better to you this time? I don’t know, I don’t think it was scary enough...”

You open your eyes to see the exasperated reporter looking at you as if she personally sought to end you right where you were sitting.

“You are the worst villain I’ve ever encountered,” she deadpans, and you laugh in agreement.

You weren’t really a villain.

If you must put a label on what you were, you would say that you were the best PR head any hero agency could ask for. You were, after all, the top student graduate from UA’s Business Course and had been ushered into a condensed agency the moment you were finished taking your graduation pictures.

And well, if you are actually curious about the… villainy, you would like to uphold and continue to stress that you weren’t a villain! You were just a public nuisance – like those stupid YouTubers – with the ability to garner Pro Heroes’ attention! People had no reason to scoff at what you did on the daily.

You took both of these jobs very seriously!

It was like being straight out of a comic for you!

A simple – hopefully should the heroes you’re in charge of not be stupid – nine to five job by day, and a badass, crime-committing, sexy as shit villain by night! How could anyone ever hate you for your lifestyle! How could anyone ever hate you?!

But we are all noisy people, and everyone wondered just why you became a villain because you had a beautifully stable job with an impressive salary! Why would such an amazing woman such as yourself dabble in the evilness of humanity?

Well, you did have an answer for the public.

“Why do you engage in evil, villainous schemes?” the reporter deadpans, absolutely and utterly not being paid enough to humor you in this forced interview.

The public loved drama, pizazz, a little showmanship even from what they deemed humanities worst! So, you told the world why you chose to be evil instead of good:

“Because I want to be!” you grin, flashing a pose as you make your away from the interviewer you had very much illegally forced to interview you. “And because a hero killed my cat!’

Of course, that was a lie! Why would you ever hand over the real reason as to why you decided to become a villain! You’d be laughed right out of Japan, possibly be murdered by a horde of fangirls!

For you see, there was one reason and one reason alone as to why you decided to take your place within the villainy hall of fame. Why you chose to do more in your day outside of your already demanding job.

And that one reason was: Pro Hero Deku, civilian name Midoriya Izuku.

Now, trying not to come off as some creepy, weirdo, stalker fangirl, you could fully admit that you were in love with the stupidly large hunk of a man that debuted as an official pro a year before you graduated from high school.

You remember how the world was finally recovering from the year-long nightmare that had ensued. To be honest, you were stupidly surprised you had even managed to graduate, given that most of schooling had become somewhat of a joke.

FIVE YEARS AGO, MARCH, 2XXX:

It had been in the evening, the clear blue sky becoming ruby red and blood orange as you made your way out of campus. The air somehow smelled of sweet hay and gasoline, but you didn’t mind. There was hardly anyone out at this time, most students had made their way home already, and the only sounds were the moving cars of businessmen just trying to get back home.

There really wasn’t any reason to suspect anything to go wrong, this was a simple daily walk back home after school that wasn’t like any other. But then there had been a loud pop, an ever louder screech, and finally, you managed to whip your head in time to see a car tumbling through the air straight at you.

There was hardly any time to think, even less to react, and the only thing you knew was that you were not going to survive.

You braced yourself, eyes clenching and body curling, your mind screaming because this was not going to be the way things ended. But before it could happen, before the car could come down upon you and squish you like a bug under a shoe, something picked you up and you were weightless.

Waiting for an impact that never came, the tears that were endlessly streaming down your face were suddenly stopped by rough, warm fingers smoothly wiping them away.

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re safe now!” a voice says softly to you, endearingly warm and comforting. “I’m here, don’t worry.”

“Am I… did I die?” you whisper, unsure if you even want the answer, your eyes remaining closed because you refused to open them up to some angel that could confirm your death. “God, what an embarrassing way to die!”

“Oh – um, no! You’re not dead! I promise!” the voice laughs brightly, just softly enough that you believe him and not be entirely horrified by the amused reaction. Your eyes crack open slowly, just barely peering back into the world, still half praying you weren’t dead. But all you saw was green.

Green eyes, green hair, green clothes.

You blink, once, twice, realizing only then you were staring into the eyes of a boy about your age.

He had curly hair, freckles littering his face, and eyes that easily pierced through your very soul.

Without meaning to, your breath stopped, frozen in your lungs as you were captivated by a handsome man with a curving, beautiful smile.

“See, I told you it was okay!” he teased you, head cocking to the side as he grinned largely.

The action itself seemed to strangle the strangest noise out of your mouth as you realized suddenly and immediately that your face was burning and all you could think was:

A cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, acuteherorescuedme!

“Sorry about that scare! I would’ve caught that car sooner, but I wasn’t paying attention to who was around!” the green boy apologized, bowing deeply in front of you in his apology. “There’s a commotion just up ahead, so I recommend you take the next road over.”

You nod numbly, unable to conjure even the slightest hint of your voice again as he stood up to his full length. He was average in height it seemed, taller than you, but still not towering. The hero looked behind his shoulder, those big green eyes focusing onto the distance, onto something you couldn’t even begin to imagine – or see, really. He blinked and turned back to you, smile gone but the gentle aura to him remained, but now his face, his mouth, was underlined with a sense of urgency and engagement to whatever sent a vehicle tumbling your way.

“Which train do you take home?” he asked, eyebrows relaxing from his stern position, as his smile picked up again. “I’ll take you closer to your station!”

“B train,” you manage to wheeze out – unable to be the reason why he was held up but also confused as to just what he could do to get you closer to the station that was at least a mile away from here.

“Perfect! I know where that is!” he laughs for just a moment, and before you could even ask if this was going to be some escorted thing – because you definitely did not need it – his arms were fastly secured around you, and suddenly you were weightless.

A cold wind rushed against your face, nipping at your nose, cheeks, and ears, sending your hair flying around – into your mouth! Oh, you were screaming! You were soaring through the skyline, being held by some hero you couldn’t name, and you were screeching at the top of your lungs.

Making the mistake of looking down, your arms were suddenly around his shoulders, your voice growing even sharper and louder as you squeezed against his body and refused to let go. His hands, despite the gloves, were warm on your back, and his soft chuckle warming you from nose to toes as he secured his grip on you.

“I got you,” he spoke, “I won’t let you go, I promise.”

Those words don’t exactly ease you, but there’s a comfort to the genuinity to his words. You nod nonetheless, your face buried deep into his neck. The cold wind continues to whip around you, the only thing sounding in your ears is the cruel whipping wind and quiet city below.

“I’m landing now,” he informed you, body shifting in the wind, and reflexively, you clung even tighter to him, expecting the similar stomach dropping motion of a roller coaster going straight down. “You’re – ack – c-choking me!”

The knowledge of that, hearing the strain and entirely unhidden sound of him choking against the current chokehold you had on him, you released him entirely with a shriek of your own. Was it a smart move? No, definitely not because you were how many hundreds – if not thousands – of feet in the air with a quirk that could not, and would not save you.

“It’s okay! I’m fine!” he quickly said, his arms shifting around your waist as you felt your body weight drop just the smallest bit. To which your focus landed to the concrete floor so far down, and you began screaming again. He panicked just a bit too. “Y-You’re okay too! We’re landing! We’re landing!”

Soon, but not soon enough, the concrete floor came underneath your feet, and you practically felt your knees buckle underneath you. The train station behind you was practically invisible, and you felt the floor come in contact with your knees, and you collapsed onto your hands and knees. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you wheezed and panted, unable to move from your position.

“Hey, look, we made it!” he laughed gently, probably being said in hopes that you would feel better. (It did make you feel slightly better, his laugh was light and pretty to listen to.) You could feel him approaching you, iron covered red shoes appearing before your vision. Looking up, you saw that the young hero was crouching, his face holding a wobbly smile that was earnest, worried, and full of unspoken hope. “I do need to get back, but before I do, are you good enough to be left alone?”

You blinked your soaked eyelashes at him, still largely unable to say anything at the cute hero in front of you who had a few scratches on his cheek, right below his freckles.

“Y-Yeah, um,” you say, your tongue cotten and lead in your dry mouth. “I-I’ll be fine, I think.”

The green eyed hero nods, offering you a hand and assisting you to your trembling legs, “That’s good to hear!” he chirped, his wobbly smile becoming a grand, bright grin. “You were really brave! I was impressed!”

Now, you were an idiot at times, but even you could spot a stupid lie. Still, hearing it said with such honesty, as if this hero who was no taller than five foot eight truly believed it, made something bubble in your chest, and soon you found yourself laughing.

“No need to lie to me, h-hero,” you manage to speak between stammering breaths, “thank you for saving me, though. I appreciate it.”

You grin crookedly at him, and to your utter delight, he reciprocates it.

“It’s the least I can do. I’d offer to take you home but… I’m not quite finished yet,” he says, and you can only nod, the conversation obviously reaching its last strides. You watch as he floats up, his eyes looking at you, but somehow focused how many miles away from where he had brought you from. “Stay safe?”

“I’ll try my best,” you agree to his question, hands clasping before your lap. “Finish the job quick, hero?”

He grins, “I’ll try my best.”

You feel a breathless sort of laugh escape you as you watch him beginning to shoot back up, but a sort of horror shoots through you as you rush forward, running right after him, hands cupping around your mouth as you scream:

“What’s your name?!”

The blur of green in the air freezes, and you stop running as you see green eyes and freckles focusing back onto you.

“Deku! My hero name is Deku!”

You stop at the curb of the street, eyes focused on the sky as the green eyed hero named Deku grins one last time before shooting off at a speed probably much faster than when he held onto you. The wind blows around you, and you can only feel the heat sitting on your cheeks and the way you’re smiling as you stare after his figure that's long, long gone.

“Deku...” you whisper to yourself, ignorant to the world of commuters beginning to appear at the station. “Thank you.”

And thus came the very apparent and obvious day in which you fell head over heels for Pro Hero Deku.

Now some people called you a stupid fangirl, obsessive stalker, and sometimes, yeah, you were obsessive and weird about your slight infatuation with a stranger. It was strange, you knew that! But you also knew that you had practically no chances of ever being able to woe the man behind the image of Deku because Midoriya Izuku practically existed as Deku 24/7.

After you graduated from high school, you were put into the same agency that was currently holding Deku. Without tooting your own rom-com obsessed horn too much, you fully expected to walk in and be handed Deku’s file as his PR manager and be able to thank him for not only saving you all that time ago, but also eventually sweep him off his feet.

But your reputation preceded you well, probably too well, because the first day you entered the office and was handed your list of three clients to work with, neither one was for Deku. Being a PR manager for heroes was hard, a job that practically held no set hours because, unlike your typical celebrities, heroes had no type of privacy or protection. They were constantly under the spotlight, being viewed by adoring fans and scornful critics. Your job served as the first line of defense for heroes against the public, and there were some heroes that were quite hilariously easy to work for because they were genuinely good.

The older PR managers typically held the quieter, easy tempered, or less combat heavy heroes. These heroes typically never had a bad thing said about them, their job was a glorified PA job but even less because there was no expected demands from the heroes they had to take in. Unless, of course, a hero wanted to do some sort of public event they hadn’t considered.

But there were the louder, quick to temper, or the heavy combat heroes that while made you an insane amount of money, also brought you a near 120 hour work week because there was so much to do, so much to consider, so much to keep your eyes on. There was the constant slander, the people who hated the louder, quick to temper heroes because they didn’t like their attitude, completely disregarding that they had been unsafe and a liability the entire time the hero was dealing with them. The talk shows that took months to convince to allow for an interview because they heard false rumors, and so you have to practically wrestle a boa constrictor to get a measly five minute interview done. And then the combat-heavy heroes… no one would ever shut up about building damages and how this hero broke his nose while he was stealing a store!

Not to mention having to have every single piece of social media on your phone, set to notify you whenever your clients names were brought up so that you could look at it. You’ve seen more than enough lewd drawings of your clients to last you a lifetime, enough fanfiction, and fan edits that left you with blazing cheeks and the need to never look at your client ever again. But mostly you checked each and every update because you were their first and only line of legal defense on these sorts of things.

You’ve taken down leaked nudes, fake news, and qualmed rumors and speculations.

It was hard.

So when you were shown to your desk on your first day and three files were handed to you, you were shocked to see the hero names you would be working with.

Dynamight

Phantom Thief

Shouto

Somehow, without having yet to speak with a single one of your now current clients, you knew that you were going to have your work cut out for you.

“Good luck newbie!” the woman who gave you the initial tour chirped, clapping you on the back. “You got this!”

Good lord.

Without much to do other than reading through the three’s files, you realized that you already knew a bunch about two of three of your clients. DynaMight and Shouto were two heroes that you knew teamed up with and hung out with Deku a lot, both on-field and off-field if any of the out of costume pictures said anything. Because of their connection with Deku, you had at one point learned a bit about them.

You knew that Shouto was a crowd favorite. He was tall and sweet and a complete airhead at the best moments despite him being smart. Controversy still surrounded his character, despite all the good he did, because of the past history that was brought out about his father Endeavor and his brother Dabi. The country couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of that reveal. Endeavor did a lot before the reveal, and continued to rise up to everything in his path despite the skeletons in his closet being thrown out for the world to see. They neither forgave him, nor hated him, they only watched and waited. Then Dabi, of course, was seen as a could-have-been version of Shouto, and many tried to ask if he was really a hero and not actually siding with the League. After all, why on Earth would he be defensive of his father too?

The public had an unmoving image of Shouto based on anything but who he was as an individual, and you decided immediately that it would be your job to fix that. He was also, after all, a dear friend of Deku, so you’d do anything.

Phantom Thief was your easiest of the three clients. A relatively well mannered man who was kind and a bit weird in a fun way. He had a great sense of self and was a reliable person on the field. He made a great hero, but you could see the way his spirit blazed with an unspoken rivalry between him and the other two of your clients. Well, it seemed like he was the best until his former self appointed rivals came into the picture, but that was hardly ever, and according to Shouto, he was way worse back in their first year.

The greatest scandal he’s had so far in your three years of working at their agency was the one time he was lied to about a quirk and accidentally copied a woman's quirk that gave her the ability to change her cup size. Safe to say that Phantom Thief accidentally broke a few buttons on his shirt and was unable to stop civilians from snapping pictures.

But of course, the one that had you practically crying yourself to sleep nightly for more than one reason was Dynamight.

You’d known about him the moment you looked up Deku on your phone.

They were practically a hero duo in everything but name. They were always seen doing the same things together, whether that be on patrol together or maybe getting dinner, most of their top recorded fights were done with each other by their sides. You had also learned that they were childhood friends, and you practically vibrated at the thought that even though Deku was not your client, the chances of meeting him were still astronomically high.

There was no way you wouldn’t not meet Deku!

But you were wrong, so very, very wrong.

Turns out the hero duo in everything but name meant that Dynamight refused to let Deku be anywhere near him in the agency – the very small amount of time they spent in here. The few times they were in the same room, Dynamight absolutely refused to be interrupted because that was their paperwork hour. You had only ever been blessed with seeing green curls turning the corner as Dynamight gripped your forearm, refusing to let you follow.

“Like hell I’ll let you distract the shitnerd,” he stated simply, his red eyes narrowed as he stared down his nose at you. You opened your mouth, ready to defend your not so innocent intentions. “I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend like you won’t try anything.”

Your jaw snapped shut.

Safe to say that you couldn’t do anything about Deku so long as Dynamight was around.

But Dynamight as a client was exhausting to put it kindly.

There were so many opinions and thoughts and issues and praises coming from everywhere. Hell, even the fucking Americans and westerners had caught wind of the Wonder Duo at one point and while you were well knowledgable on their opinions on Deku, the ones on Dynamight were the ones that you had to focus on now.

People still called him a villain, so many unhappy with the fact that he still screamed and cursed and threatened. There were many conspiracy theories that he was working with the long dead League of Villains. They turned their nose up at the fact that he was childhood friends with Deku, claiming that no way an asshole like him could have ever been friends with him. And of course the bullying revelation that had come out shortly after your debut.

That had been a trip, one that had you even shocked as Dynamight approached the table in front of the media, his body calm and composed. You had watched as he simply said he owed nothing to the media, that he had already done all that he could to deserve his atonement and deserve Deku’s forgiveness. He had spoken clearly, concisely that it wasn’t any of their damn business as to what he did, and if he apologized to them, the unaffected, the ones that had nothing to do with his early years of bullying Deku, of his previous weakness and insecurity, it would be a waste of his breath.

It isn’t to them he should ever be apologizing to anyways.

You had watched as he stood up, face calm, and hands shoved into his pockets as he stood and walked away despite the screaming reporters. You had wanted to stay longer, have your own hand in damage control, but a swoop of green came in and Deku was at the microphone eyebrows furrowed as he pointed a finger at them all and said that his past with Kacchan was between him and Kacchan only, and his decision to forgive Kacchan were his and only his.

You didn’t hear the rest, didn’t even get the option to hear the way the hero you loved defended the hero you worked for – his childhood friend.

No.

Dynamight had grabbed your elbow and dragged you out of the room with him, the metal doors clanging closed the moment fierce green eyes met yours.

You watched in the company car as Dynamight looked outside the window, one elbow on the doorframe holding his chin; his gaze focused sharply on nothing but the passing sidewalk. Had it not been for the way the hand on top of his lap trembled, you would have thought he was perfectly okay.

Neither one of you talked about that again.

But just because you didn’t talk about it again, didn’t mean the world was the same. People claimed he brainwashed Deku, others demanded that Deku beat the shit out of Dynamight. You knew that Dynamight would want nothing to do with this, but you would stay in the office (an almost useless, empty office as most PR managers did their business at home) for hours long after you were supposed to be gone, practically arguing with someone who only existed behind a screen and didn’t even care that much – but you couldn’t stop.

Seeing Dynamight’s shaking hand had really done a number on you.

“The hell are you still doing here, eyelashes,” Dynamite asked from the dark entrance of the floor. “Go home already, don’t waste your time.”

You had startled at the initial intrusion, but you immediately relaxed seeing the smudged paint around red eyes and blond hair. You barely kept your gaze on him before turning back to your computer and continuing your argument.

“I’m not wasting my time, I’m doing my job,” you remark, eyes squinting at your keyboard because your vision is definitely blurry. “I’ll be heading out soon anyways.”

“God you’re fucking annoying and stubborn!” Dynamight barked, the heel of his hand slamming into his forehead. “This is exactly why I won’t introduce you to the fucking nerd!”

“What?!” you shriek, suddenly looking at your client as if he had personally attacked you – and in a way he did. “What do you mean you won’t introduce me to Deku because of that?! I’ve already met Red Riot, Chargebolt, Cellophane, and Pinky through you!”

“Yeah, because they’re not stubborn idiots too!” Dynamight accuses, jamming a gloved finger at you as he begins stomping your way. You startle, your chair shooting backward as the explosion hero makes his way towards you at alarming speed.

“What are you—?!” you shriek, hands flailing about as he grabs you by the collar of your distressed shirt.

Dynamight lifts you up to your feet as if you were a sack of flour and you grasp onto his forearm.

“I might tell you that you’re the most annoying and stubborn bitch in the world, but you’re not worse than fucking Deku,” Dynamight sneers, his red eyes narrowed and stern. “I’m not going to let you meet him until you learn how to give or you’ll hurt him, and I’m not going to be part of any reason as to why he gets hurt again.”

Your jaw dropped, clearly offended, but you closed it just as fast; the weight of his words made you a bit sad, even for just a bit.

“You’re kinda cute when you care for Deku, you sure I’m his biggest fan?” you tease, grinning at the hero to which he rolls his eyes.

“Shut the hell up and go home already; it’s annoying seeing you fight a losing battle that’s none of your damn business,” Dynamight simply said, putting you back onto your feet and blocking out your desk.

“I’ll go home on the condition that for my birthday you at least consider introducing us!” you say, unwilling to move from your spot. “I’ve been working for you for three years! You’ve kept me away for three years!”

Dynamight’s stare didn’t even shift the slightest millimeter, his red eyes unamused as you groaned in grief and annoyance.

“I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself?!” you grumble snatching your jacket and purse from the hook on your cubicle and shoving them on. “My names God of Explosion Murder: Dynamight and I am Stubborn™ but will never admit it.”

You continued mocking your long time client and most definitely friend if you dared to say so, and dragged the heel of your foot all the way to the elevator to which you were joined by Dynamight. The trip down the elevator is silent, and you keep your gaze locked on the closed doors, unwilling to even look at the hero next to you.

Soon enough, the elevator reached the ground floor, and you got ready to walk out.

“I’ll consider it,” Dynamight said as the elevator doors opened. “Also, fucking stop calling me Dynamight, Bakugou’s fine.”

He walked off the elevator with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.

“Thank you, Bakugou!” you shriek, your lungs failing you at the thought of finally being introduced to Deku! You hadn’t moved from your spot from the elevator, your chest hammering with the thought of getting to meet Deku.

“Don’t get your hopes up, you’re still irritatingly stubborn,” Bakugou merely calls over his shoulder before lifting his hand in a halfhearted wave before stepping out of the glass door.

That brought you back to reality just a bit and you scowled, knowing you would have to go beyond and above to prove that.

But you see, there were many reasons to cry about having Bakugou as your client. Besides the stinkhole of his previous bullying, people just were not understanding his typically prickly exterior. You had to go head to head with reputation tarnished, had to slap fangirls away who demanded that Bakugou degrade them where they stood. It was hard to not be stubborn as not only his PR manager but his friend, and in less than a month, still plenty of time before your birthday, you had already grown irritated of the meeting-Deku-card he waved over your head.

“Mei, if I have to go any longer than this, I will die and hope I am reborn as Deku’s new guardian angel,” you pouted, chin pressed against a cold metal tabletop. Your hands being used as glove models for one of your best friends Hatsume Mei. “It’s first of all impossible getting anywhere near him with his guard dog Bakugou literally stopping me whenever I’m within a ten foot radius! And then I’m not even sure what will happen when we do meet again! Would I even be able to talk to him?!”

“Why wouldn’t you? You talk to all my babies with me! There’s practically nothing you can’t do,” Mei laughs, smacking you against your back before returning her intense gaze back to the gloves. “Deku’s uh… I actually can’t remember him but I’m sure he’s a great conversationalist! I think he helped me with the Sports Festival my first year.”

“That was Iida,” you laugh, wiggling your fingers as Mei demanded. “You’re so bad with names and faces, I’m impressed you know mine.”

“You saved my baby, of course I remember you,” Mei turned her grin towards you, “but come on, why can’t you get with him besides this Bakugou guy?”

“Well, he’s just like Bakugou! He’s practically married to his job! Their schedules basically match together perfectly! There’s literally only three hours a day while they’re on the job that they’re not together! And that’s when they patrol their own parts of town because there’s hardly any activity they don’t need to be attached by the neck.” You explain and rant, your cheeks puffing as you stand up and allow Mei to run further tests on the glove.

“Sounds like you gotta become a villain to woo this hero guy, huh,” Mei spoke, eyes focused on the glove as you pointed a finger at the far wall and watched as a beam exploded from the fingertip and pierced through the steel wall like butter. “Too bad you’re a goody two-shoes or else I could make you some serious villain gear and make you a fearsome villain to then prove that Hatusme Mei’s babies and creations are untouchable and the best in the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha!”

You know her words are more joking than serious, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from widening. Your body shifts over to where she was standing and you screech pointing at her and just narrowly missing setting off the laser again.

“THAT'S IT!”

“What’s it?” she asked, completely confused.

“You have to make me a villain!” you exclaim, rushing over to Mei, who is eagerly waiting for her babies returnal especially since it ran perfectly. “You have to make me near-invisible gear that can keep me going toe to toe with Deku until I can seduce him!”

“You want to turn evil?” Mei questions, finger pressing quizzically to her chin. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“I am definitely not villainous to pull that off, but like I pretend to be a villain so that he talks to me and we can like get to know each other!” you exclaim, you’re unable to keep from hopping up and down on your feet, your grin unfathomably bright. “It's practically a romcom in the making!”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mei laughs, altering the band of fabric around your waist. “You do know heroes and villains hardly speak? It’s more like… ‘I’m more powerful,’ ‘No me!,’ ‘No, ME!’”

“Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but whatever! I’ll figure out a way!” you continue on unaffected because this plan was genius! Especially if you had Mei in your corner?! Her recent development of not using such… steampunk designs made her creations elusive and dangerous to own. Hence why she was an extremely sought out manufacturer, by villains and heroes alike. “And if I can go toe to toe with Deku of all people, you’ll know that you and your babies are the undeniable best!”

“Hm, that is promising,” Mei agrees with a nod as she forces you around. “Is this Deku guy all that good?”

“He’s the one you made the iron soles for!” you chirp and watch as the recognition and challenge spark immediately in Mei’s yellow eyes.

“Oh,” Mei chuckles, turning away from you and looking at her pile of made babies. “This would be good.”

“So we have an agreement?” you grin excitedly.

“Give me a month, and we’ll have your debut!”

Fuck Bakugou for thinking you weren’t good enough!

You hadn’t expected the initial phases of villainy to be quite as hard as it was, if you were being honest. The late nights at Mei’s personal lab made sure to keep your plans a solid secret, but you had to prepare for the wild range of what Deku’s quirk entailed.

There was smoke, something you were already used to working in because of Bakugou and his quirk. You’ve navigated quite a bit in his smog, and as long as you knew where you were, you would be fine.

There was also that danger sense, which allowed him to know when things were coming – something that shouldn’t be too big an issue considering you weren’t actually attempting to extract danger onto him.

Blackwhip was a big issue. How far or how much could you do if he even grabbed a hold of you. With sleuthing and the help of Mei having files on everyone's quirks, you were able to find information that blackwhip was a creation made of energy. Meaning that Mei was now making some type of destructing material to lessen the energy of the quirk, allowing for you to escape should he attempt to capture you this way.

Float was stopped by having most of your fights occur within a confined area, which was needed for you anyways! You didn’t need to be caught by anyone else but him! You didn’t actually need to land in jail – you would prefer to not be handled by anyone but Deku, actually.

Then of course the stupid superstrength and superspeed, both of which you knew you could handle with your quirk. You’ve been head to head with people with quirks similar to that before, and you knew your quirk was tricky enough that you’d manage to slip right past his fingers just fine. After all, you knew full and well that the Deku who took down S class villains was worlds quicker than F class villains – aka you.

You would be fine.

But today was day one, first of how many days it would take to get Pro Hero Deku, aka Midoriya Izuku to fall in love with you.

You were dressed in a black and purple bodysuit that was definitely not inspired by Shego from Kim Possible’s costume. Your hair was dyed purple by a special spray Mei created that would be washed out by the end of the day, but wouldn’t ever give away that it was fake. You wore a mask over your eyes, and grinned seeing that you couldn’t see a fleck of color on your irises.

Perfect.

And with far too much confidence, nauseating excitement, and unjustified attitude, you marched down towards your first spot, ready and adopting the identity of who you were about to become.

Mirage.

It was time to act. Deku and Dynamight were on different patrol routes right now, and you sent your threat, readying for the moment for the man in green to come in with the desire to stop you. With the very real threat of stealing every puppy within the tristate area being broadcasted within the area unless and hero bests you, you waited for your savior to come and stop you.

“I am here to stop your villainous acts, you villain!” a voice shattered the silence just as it shattered your heart. You looked over your shoulder to see some hero you couldn’t name standing at the other stairwell entrance with his fists clenched and ready to fight.

You groaned, shoulders crumbling with your well hidden disappointment.

“I wasn’t looking for you!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the flabbergasted hero who was just trying to figure out what was happening. “Where’s Deku?!”

“He’s – he’s not here yet,” he stammers, eyes wide. “It’s not his day anymore to patrol this area?”

“Aw fuck!” you complain, pouting at the realization that you had messed up. “Okay, I’ll be back later, please don’t come back. Bye!”

With a small wave, you easily stepped through the door to the stairwell next to you and left, your threat empty and the hero victorious despite not actually stopping you. And unfortunately, although you had wished and prayed even, this was not the last time a screw up like this would happen.

At the threat of destroying all the cats in the area, you had another hero show up, not Deku, and you groaned and left before they could even finish their call of stopping you.

You then threatened to poison the watering system, to which you found out that Deku was held up at another major villain threat in a different city. You groaned and stomped off after that.

Then there was the time you swore you would increase the overall temperature of the city per one degree celsius should your demands not be made. Shouto answered that one and you immediately walked away the moment you saw the familiar head of red and white coming your way.

Time and time again you kept being caught by heroes you could not care about, being confronted by no names and nobodies. It was tiring, and Mei was beginning to sigh just the smallest bit whenever you showed up to try yet again.

But you weren’t a quitter!

You would win!

This was your last attempt at getting Deku to notice you.

After threatening to wrap all the citizens in the area with a giant froot by the foot, you were almost sad to say that the heroes ignored your cry for chaos and no one had come to check on you.

You sat outside the building you used as your trap for Deku, pouting into a hot dog that the neighborhood's grandma gave you because you looked like you needed something to eat. It’s a good thing you weren’t actually a villain or else they’d be fucked, you bitterly thought as you took another bite of your food.

It had been a month of empty, no Deku appearances, and you were going to bite the bullet and pretend to be not stubborn just so stupid Bakugou of all people could introduce you.

You kicked your feet as you sat on the staircase, humming as you watched the empty streets bend with the wind. It was quiet, beautiful, peaceful.

“YOU!” a voice shrieked to your left, and you watched a pudgy, red nosed man racing over towards you, a flash drive clenched in his hands. “TAKE THIS! RUN! DON’T LET THE HEROES TAKE IT!”

You gawked at him, feeling the small plastic device being shoved into your hands as the man collapsed at your feet. You squeaked when you heard a voice yelling stop and you bounced to your feet, turned into the building and raced in.

Your breathing was erratic, heart in your throat as you raced up the stairwell, unable to begin to imagine what the hell the information on the flash drive held. You were practically hyperventilating as you reached the floor you had come to know extremely well, and you stood near the window with shaky hands and legs.

What did you take?!

“I’m going to need that back, I’m afraid,” a low smooth voice said from behind you, and you froze immediately. Old anxiety overcome by a new anxiety, one that made your stomach flip and blood burn.

Turning around, you felt awestruck to see the one man you’ve been waiting for… for fucking years now, really, to appear before you, finally be there. In the flesh, completely, entirely. Your jaw dropped, your gaze looking down from your clenched hand that held the USB to the way that Deku looked at you with warm eyes that were underlined with steel that made you want to drop to your knees, confess everything, and beg to be his. God, he was so fucking tall. He had only been about five foot eight the last time you had actually talked, and now he was at least a foot taller. His teenager haircut was long gone, now replaced with his curls trimmed at the nape of his neck before filling out on top – not quite an undercut. He had more freckles now, surely. His skin just a bit tanner, a scar trailing from his cheek to his jaw. You knew there were more scars, just as you knew that there were dimples when he smiled.

You wanted to have him between your legs while you begged for mercy, holy shit.

Tucking the USB into your pocket, you tilted your head as you will yourself to relax.

“I went through all the trouble of getting it... I think if I’m going to hand it over quickly, I deserve to know what’s on it, no?” you tease, your confidence coming out of nowhere while a smile spreads ever so largely over your features. Deku’s eyes widened just a bit, shock overcoming his green eyes.

“I’m sorry, but that’s confidential,” Deku stresses, taking a step forward toward you. You click your tongue, taking a step backward while grinning.

“I don’t think that’s what I asked for,” you giggle as you watch Deku’s face go through an array of emotions before settling onto one – curiosity.

“What do you want?” he asked, apparently entirely ready to discuss any and all terms and conditions with you.

“Honestly?” you reply, tapping a gloved finger to your chin as you ‘think.’ Deku, however, nods. His stance relaxing, becoming one of preparedness but not the takedown he had previously entered with.

“A date with you.”

You watch as Deku’s eyes slam wide open, his jaw dropping immediately and he stammered. Oh, how your heart soared and how you felt giddy and wonderful as he seemed to slip and slide on his own tongue!

“A-A date?!” he ends up almost shrieking, his head shaking left and right. “T-That’s a total lie! You can’t possibly – well, no! Please tell me the truth!”

But you were giddy, practically drunk off the fact that you were making the most powerful hero in the world blush like a little schoolboy. You suddenly were on the offensive, stepping towards your hero who was much larger than you with power and drive behind each step. And it must have been the way you stared him down, the way you walked towards him at blank range with such brimming confidence that Deku takes a step back. But it’s something that makes you want to laugh as the heel of his foot gets caught on a raised tile, and you watch the mountain of a man tumble to the floor.

You’re on top of him immediately, hands pressed to his shoulders, knee settling near his crotch with most of your weight so he got the idea to not do anything funny. The USB sits between your fingers, and you lean over his flushed face that looks up at you with wide eyes.

“Actually, I changed my mind, I know what I want,” you say instead, nose ghosting over his. “Everytime I decide to do something… naughty… I want you to be the hero on the case to stop me. You and just you.”

You lean in closer, so close that you could see the specks of gold in his green, green eyes.

Deku hasn’t spoken, and you’re pretty sure his chest isn’t moving as you press your breasts against his.

“Understood, De-ku?”

Your teeth tug at his bottom lip and let go as he nods.

“Good, good,” you grin, sitting up on his chest and taking the USB in your fingers and slipping it into his utility belt. “Take good care of that for me, I’ll see you next time, hero…”

You had only managed to flash a quick wave before disappearing through your usual door, hoping and praying to god that whatever the hell possessed you would continue until you reached Mei’s. It wouldn’t hit you until much, much later than you had stunned Pro Hero Deku speechless within the first meeting.

Hell, you thought giddily as you answered Bakugou’s call about how he probably just got into a bit of a messy situation, maybe you do have the potential to woo him like this.

Thus truly began your descent as the villain Mirage.

It was quickly accepted and discovered that the moment you stepped into that costume and colored hair that you were the prey for Deku and Deku only. Most of your interactions with Deku occurred within buildings, and you used Mei’s gear to gain the final laugh each and every time to allow for you to escape. There were times, however, where you could be seen racing through the sky. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop as Deku followed after you, leaping, tumbling, and even catching you at times.

You flirted with him heavily, allowing yourself to be caught so that you could bat your pretty lashes and press your chest against his. It didn’t matter how professional he was, how good at his job he was, Deku was a pervert – so obviously a pervert it made slipping away almost too easy.

But because you had the world-renowned, world known Pro Hero Deku as the only hero on your case, soon the small block who had to play victims to your horrendous crimes became only a small percentage of people who were watching your crimes. These near daily crimes (or inconveniences/botherings as the people on the internet say to defend you and your actions) are becoming both a worldwide sensation, and so, it took nothing for you to continue having Deku at your feet and the world chipped in. So you agreed to do interviews, forcing uneager reporters to do segments on you so that the hype behind you and Deku’s relationship grew.

You didn’t want him to leave you, not until you got what you wanted, and unless you were an idiot, you were nearly positive you were almost there.

Why would you say that?

Well, a few reasons.

The first came about a week after you had first met Deku again.

You had joyously gathered the means to create a machine to shave down an eighth of an inch of everyone's shoes in the entire country of Japan without their knowledge. You had ever so evilly explained that the point of this was to ensure that for a full day, everyone would feel off and unbalanced but would not know why.

You had said this, grinning widely as you turned around to see Deku standing there attempting to fight off a very amused smile.

“I don’t think that would be all too evil, Mirage,” he called out to you, arms folding across his chest as he watched you set up the machine to do exactly what you said you would do.

“Mm, that’s what you say now, but just wait until you’re one of the losers stumbling around,” you say back, grinning as you turn around for just a second, wagging the knife at Deku from the distance.

“Well, regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku laughs just slightly, and you grin, standing up.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there.”

You giggle.

“Make me.”

You’re not sure what happens, but there’s dodging and weaving, spinning and sliding. You’re practically wheezing from how hard you’re laughing as Deku can not manage to land a finger on you with the help of Mei’s items and your quirk. It all comes to an end when instead of dodging, you throw yourself right at him, and Deku has not anticipated that.

His eyes are wide open and you fiercely grin as he falls back onto the floor, unbalanced and only slightly frantic. You have the knife pointed at his neck, the dull blade sitting gently on his skin.

“So, Deku,” you taunt teasingly, your teeth burying into your bottom lip for just a moment at the sight of the dark flash in his green, beautiful eyes. “Tell me one thing, or I’ll continue on with my vile plans.”

“O-Okay?”

“Are you single?”

The second attempt came a few many weeks later.

You had gathered about 75 tons of glitter bombs and were in the current process of making them one. You had plans of setting it off over Tokyo so that for practically the rest of eternity, the entire city would have glitter everywhere. The only thing is that you did have to glue the glitter bombs together because, well, no one made super giant ones.

“This is so annoying, there’s glitter everywhere, and I’m only ten glitter bombs in!” you complain to the ‘empty’ room but knowing full and well that Deku had appeared through the broken window at least five minutes ago.

“If it’s annoying to you, then shouldn’t you stop?” Deku replied and you grinned.

He really couldn’t stay quiet, huh?

“Well, if it’s annoying to me, then that means every one of my victims will also find it annoying. Win-win situation.” you say, turning around towards him and winking. Facing back towards the glitter bombs you scowl, “stupid fucking glue gets everywhere, too!”

“Regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku said as leveled as he could although you swore you heard a laugh in his voice.

“Just try and stop me,” you reply back stone cold.

You stand up and watch as Deku stands up from the windowsill and sighs just a bit too heavily.

“Guess I have to,” he says and shoots out before you’re well prepared.

Typically, and probably in any other situation, this would have been the end. Pro Hero Deku had come at you with the speed and power as he took out any other Class F criminals, but unfortunately for him, and definitely fortunately for you that glue was EVERYWHERE.

Deku’s hand was stuck onto your arm, and your chest was glued to his stomach, and you swear you never quite got the strawberry Deku references until right now.

The perverted hero burned scarlet, his face practically simmering with heat as your body became undeniably stuck to his. You had to fight off the vindictive smirk, the practically snarling grin as you could feel something hot and heavy twitch at your hip.

“Fuck,” Deku wheezed.

“Fuck, yeah,” you grinned.

“WHAT?!”

Deku could not look you in the eyes for about 10 more interactions following that, but you counted that as a win. But undoubtedly, your starred and favorite memory of it all was something that occurred just last week of the current present events.

You had stood on top of a building, threatening the entire government of stealing (i.e., cutting off) the aglet of their shoes and sweaters and then removing all the laces so that it would result in their wasted time and entire humiliation!

“I don’t think most people even know what aglets are, to be honest,” Deku said from behind you. You turned around to see that he was standing there with an unsuppressed grin. “It’s not a good enough threat.”

You go unfazed by his judgement, choosing to instead bat your eyelashes and push your hair behind your ear.

“Not a good enough threat, and yet, you’re still here?” you tease, enjoying the way pink flushes to his cheeks.

“Where else would I be?” he says, and you have to ignore the way your stomach fills with butterflies.

“You’re not cute when you flirt back,” you deadpan, biting your tongue harshly when he says ‘hey!’ “Enough chit chat, let me kick your ass now and then do what I need to do.”

Unlike probably what is 95% of the time, you made the first move today.

You were on the offensive, jabbing and weaving, sweeping and punching. Deku’s green eyes were nearly black as he watched you, analyzing and taking in your movements, countering them all without so much of an issue.

“I still don’t get your quirk,” Deku grunted as his hand swiped at the empty air. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“So then you can turn me in to the government who are still salty about their aglets? I don’t think so!” you say with a laugh, rolling out of the way as Deku lunges forward. “Try again, baby, I have full faith that you’ll get it.”

Deku puffed out a chuckle and lunged again, his huge gloved hand swiping at you, with nearly accuracy despite your quirk being on. But… he wasn’t exactly perfect.

RIIIIIIIIIP!

Cold air hit your breast and your jaw dropped as your very exposed breast appeared before you and Deku. Pro Hero Deku had torn the breast of your costume, the costume that you purposefully did not wear a bra for because you had wanted this exact scenario to play out.

“DEKU!” you screech, pretending to be modest and covering your tit as Deku finally yanked himself out of staring at your breast and whipped around.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t think that was going to happen! I didn’t even mean to look at your boob! It just sort of all happened too fast and it was very shocking! N-Not that you have an ugly boob or anything because actually I think you have a very great boob! But oh my god, I need to shut up please ignore me!” Deku spoke so fast in a matter of five seconds, and you couldn’t even tell him to come back as he sprinted away.

His ears burned red and you swore even as he was gone, you could still see the red of his ears illuminating the sky.

You laugh.

“What a perv.”

And so, we are back to the beginning.

Back to how you forced a local news channel to read your demands so that you could hopefully take your final bow as Mirage forever.

With the threat of having a machine that would make dogs bark at a frequency for hours on end until humans eardrums broke then bleed. You made your way to your typical building and hummed as you waited.

The world outside was the same as always.

There were a few people out, a few cars driving through the street, and a few birds chirping here and there.

It was peaceful.

“Don’t you think the new reporter thing was a bit dramatic?” Deku chuckled from behind you.

You were used to him approaching like that, used to him trying to portray being elusive and cool. In your opinion, it just made him dorky.

“No such thing as being dramatic when I’m trying to go head to head with the greatest hero ever,” you respond back effortlessly. You spin on your heel and look back at Deku, who is leaning against a doorframe that he most definitely is slouching on so that the top of his head doesn’t hit the frame. “Hi, Deku.”

“Hi, y/l/n,” he says with a soft smile, one that's slightly victorious, one that makes your stomach knot in a pleasant way.

“Ah, you discovered my secret identity,” you observe, grinning as you begin approaching Deku. “Should I be scared?”

“Probably not, I don’t think I could do anything to you,” Deku sighs, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you too. “You’re pretty amazing, y/l/n.”

“Let’s prove that then,” you grin while zipping forward.

As if the both of you knew that this was the end of the line, the final confrontation, the battle this time was different. It was showy, flirty, full of spins and side steps, playing a game of cat and mouse while dodging and weaving. You laughed as blackwhip dissolved around your costume, and you frowned as he began using more of his power to get from point A to point B much quicker.

You’re not quite sure how it happened, what exactly you did wrong, or maybe Deku just finally figured out the pattern you used for your quirk because suddenly you were being tackled from behind. You shrieked as the two of you went down, his body flushed on top of you, his chest pressing to your shoulders.

The both of you were heaving, panting, completely out of breath from the five minutes you took playing around. He holds your wrists in one hand, pinned above your head, and the other one is on your waist. You were trapped beneath him, unable to move the absolute unit of a man above you, arms and hips weak to his weight. You shoved your hips up, attempting to shift some of his weight off you, but you froze as he choked on a breath by your ear.

Your ass was pressed against something hard, thick, and hot.

Oh.

Ohhh fuck.

It was happening.

Holy fucking shit.

Your breathing hitches as you thrusted your ass up again, confirming you were grinding on what was definitely Deku’s hardening cock. And once again, Deku makes the prettiest, most embarrassed gravelly grunt at the back of his throat and you feel like every strand of resistance and strength snaps.

The hand on your waist pulls you even closer against his crotch, and there's lips pressing against your neck, and you absolutely lose it.

He kisses your neck sloppily, teeth nipping at your exposed flesh, and you grind against him, moaning and thrusting back as your body feels like it's on fire. He wanted you! He wanted you and your plan to woo him worked!

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you keen breathlessly. “Wanted you so badly, Deku.”

“Fuck,” Deku curses, his hips thrusting back against your clothed ass with power you couldn’t fucking wait to feel. “I wanted you too. Wanted you so badly, but didn’t think – holy shit.”

His hand that pins your wrists lets go of you, and moves to grab your jaw. You nearly fucking melt as his full lips slam against yours, and you moan as his lips move against yours. There’s something indescribable about how he’s kissing you, the want, the need, the months of suppressed tension bursting through every move and curve of his mouth. It doesn’t matter to you that you’re pressed up against the concrete floor, you feel like you’ve been placed into another world, an area where you can never come back.

Your arm reaches behind you and buries into his soft curls, you tug at them as your ass circles against his thrusting hips. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you whine at the hot, wet muscle in your mouth, and it sends your head spinning. You can’t take it anymore, you need him, want him flushed against your front.

“Can I fuck you?” Deku asks swollen lips pulling away from yours, his mouth frantic and trailing kisses up your cheeks and down your jaw. “Please, I wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you on the floor and against the wall. Can I make you mine?”

You nod your head frantically, unable to come up with the words to say in order to tell him yes.

Deku laughs breathlessly and flips you over so that it’s your back against the floor now.

And just like you want him to, Deku comes down to reclaim your mouth. Hot, open mouthed kisses, teeth tugging at your lips and hands grabbing your waist. His hands are huge against you filling up the space between your hip and your waist without an issue. Your legs wrap around his waist, feeling entirely small underneath him, but entirely ready to be fucked by him.

His lips move expertly against yours, teeth nibbling at your lips, mouth then sucking on your tongue. You can’t keep the continuous moans from leaking out, can’t keep yourself from staying quiet as your eyes flutter open and see green eyes so dark they look black, staring down at you with the intensity of a predator.

You were his prey, and you would present to him at the drop of a hat.

His body is hot, heat rolling off of his hero costume in waves, making you feel like you were near burning against him. And the heat between his thighs sits at the bottom of your ass, thrusting up and grinding against you so that you don’t forget even for a moment that you are making him this way.

“I always knew you’d have such a pretty moan,” Deku mumbles as his fingers find the zipper to your costume and begin to tug it down. His lips trail down your neck, biting and nipping at the newly exposed flesh. “Knew you’d look so pretty under me, waiting to be fucked into submission.”

The words spark something within you, your eyes fluttering as your hips grind just a tad bit faster and you whine.

“Aw, is that what you wanted this entire time, y/l/n?” Deku asks, his grin pressed against your collarbone. “Wanted to be stretched out and fucked until you can’t anymore?”

“I want it,” you gasp, your fingers burying deep into his curls. “I want you, I want it, I want your dick in me already!”

“Not into foreplay?” Deku chuckles just a bit, tongue then tracing up your neck.

“Oh I am,” you snap, fingers finding the zipper of his own costume. “You can find out later how much I’m into it, but right now, I have been wanting you for years, and you will not make me wait any longer!”

Deku only nods frantically, and it's a mess of limbs, sloppy kisses, and clothes as the both of you strip to nothing.

Deku’s in between your legs, one hand pressed to the back of your knee, the other gripping what you believe is his dick because it makes everything in the world freeze as you see it. It’s huge, so thick that his hand wraps around it in a nice grip, and it long, curling up to his abs, curved and veiny.

“Holy shit,” you squeak, your cunt already clenching at the thought of taking that in.

“Are you ready?” Deku asks, the hand on your leg moving away for a moment as he cards his fingers back through his hair. “I don’t have a condom, though.”

“That’s fine, I don't care,” you dismiss his words, eyes too focused on the flush cock in his hand. “I don’t think I’ll live after you kill me with that anyways.”

Deku laughs just a bit, his dimples flashing as he leans in and kisses you deeply. You tremble underneath him, feeling so small pressed up against him, and you mewl when you feel the head of his cock pressing between your folds.

“Put it in,” you gasp, leg lifting and wrapping around his waist, “put it in! I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, do you understand?!”

Deku nods, and with a sense of frantic need, his hand guides his cock into you.

It feels like you’re splitting in half. The girth of his cock stretching your walls out to the max, and he’s only going in. You scream loudly, both in pain and pleasure because it hurts so good.

“Take it, baby, take me all in,” Deku pants, his hips pushing out small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your twitching cunt. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You’re taking me all the way in. F-Fuck… you’re so amazing! So fucking perfect!”

Tears are pouring out of your eyes, and your nails are tearing into his back, you sob slightly overwhelmed with his cock and the absolute pleasure of finally getting what you want and it being so much better than you thought. Your cunt throbs almost violently as Deku’s cock finally hits your cervix and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts in further, lips attempting to claim yours.

“Fuck me, Deku,” you beg, hips beginning to slam and fuck up onto his cock. “Please! I need you!”

“Such a desperate little villain though,” Deku sighs, teasingly, giving you one strong thrust for good measure. It goes a long way though, the power behind his thrust and thighs promising you a bruised ass, thighs, and cunt makes your mouth water for more. “I need you to promise to never do anything like that again and be a good little manager for Kacchan.”

“W-Wha–”

“Be good and stop being Mirage, or else you won’t be fucked.”

There was no hesitation.

“Okay.”

And just like that, Deku’s soft smile curves into a knowing, fierce smirk, and you can do nothing as his hands press to the back of your knees and he begins thrusting his hips into you. And it takes you completely out of control.

It’s a messy, frantic dance, your body holding onto his, your lips pressing against his, desperate and needy for his, and he is basically trying to imprint his body onto yours, the concrete, and the walls. Your bodies are so foreign to each other, and yet, when he fucks into you just a bit hard, just a bit faster, you come undone, back arching and toes curling as you sob his name.

It’s overwhelming to know that he can read you this well and for you to have never fucked him before. It’s empowering to see that he likes every forced and involuntary squeeze and clench of your cunt. He loved when your nails dug into his skin, raking their existence against the plane of broad muscles and scars.

Deku curses your name as you clench around him, his hands moving to your jaw so that he can lift your face to kiss him just so. He kisses you with a heated passion, a need that strips your entire being bare, and his hips slam so loudly against you, the slicked wetness is squelching and slapping with every grunt and moan.

In and out his cock goes, and you praise him and his cock.

You praise him for making you feel so good, for stretching out your pussy with that fat cock of his. You beg for more, and more, and more. You want every snap of his hips to send new colors to your vision, and every echoing squelch of your meeting, sloppy sexes only adds to the blabbering, unmanaged sentences from your lips.

“Harder, faster, more!” you beg, practically wailing against his shoulders, needing him more and more. The concrete hurts against your back, but you don’t care. You don’t care if he breaks your back, it’s a fall you’ll take. “Don’t hold back! Don’t you dare hold back!”

“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Deku gasps, his sweaty brow burying into your cheek. “I won’t though, I won't. Be ready, I’m not sure if you can take it.”

Before you can snap back that you can in fact take it, Deku’s weight falls heavier onto you and the angle shifts just slightly, and your words are ripped right out of your throat for a pitched, window shattering screech. Deku fucks into you with a new power, some untapped strength as greenspark falls from his skin as he ruins you for anyone ever again.

Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the concrete was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Deku’s fingers shove into your mouth, and his other hand wraps around your neck, silencing your words and noises as he fucks up into you again and again and again.

“So loud, angel,” Deku smirks, fingers stroking and pinching your tongue as saliva pours endlessly from your mouth. His voice isn’t strained however, doesn’t have any indication that he’s out of breath or ready to tap out and that nearly makes you go insane. “I can’t wait to see everything that makes you look like this… you’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.”

Your head is spinning, the heated tightness in your core clenching and throbbing as his conquesting cock never once stops or lessens. It just grows and grows and grows. His cock twitches in you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he lets out a deep moan.

“Such a good and wet cunt you are,” Deku gasps as you gag against his fingers that press roughly against the back of your tongue. Your vision feels hazy, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine as his hand on your throat opens and closes, demonstrating his power over you. “I’m so glad you went through all this hard work to get me to fuck you.”

You can’t speak, so you nod desperately, you were so happy you did this too.

Your hips buck up into him with sheer stubborn drive to get him to toss his head back and moan, you wanted to see him unhinged too. Your eyelashes flutter, as his hands remove themselves from your face, and they move to your hips to help you out. But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.

“I-I’m so close,” you manage to moan out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose at that revelation.

Deku nods, his head moving so that his forehead rests against yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “I need you to look at the way your belly bulges while I fuck you before you cum, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum.”

You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering monster of a cock. And just like that, the tight heat in you snaps without a hitch, and you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Deku, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him.

Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure he collapses onto his forearms above you. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.

Deku is the first to move afterward, and you whine as he pulls his cock out of your sore, abused pussy. You make a noise of curiosity then fear as Deku spreads your legs even more open and moves so that his head is face to face with your cum filled pussy.

“What are you–?!” you screech as Deku takes a lick out of your dripping cunt.

“Fuck, this does taste good,” Deku smirks as he once again licks your overstimulated pussy and you sob. “Besides, who said we were done?”

bonus!

“Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/l/n y/n!” Izuku happily introduced you to his group of friends.

“What the hell?!” Bakugou screamed, thrusting a finger at you and all you did was laugh.

So much for not being stubborn, huh.

#midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya smut #bnha #bnha x reader

876 notes · View notes

neocrush · 4 years ago

Text

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

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tarosin · 3 years ago

Text

the great adventures of y/n ranboo, tommy tubbo and jack - just come home

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part three to the happier imagine (the great adventures of y/n and ranboo) this is where the group reunites

content warning: angst to fluff, small mention of creepy fan,swearing

please read what’s written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 16-18 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and the others (especially ranboo) in this imagine is completely platonic

so turns out moving house didn’t stop the creepy fan from contacting you neither did blocking every account they made as they began contacting your mods, your business email, they even started spamming ranboos dms, mods and business email and now you had the stress of Tommy trying to contact you. at this point neither you nor ranboo knew what to do, you were both convinced it was a troll trying to scare you both with jokes but the joke wasn’t funny. it never was, to say the least, it was horrifying. you stood with ranboo who was now changing the locks just to keep you safe, it was clear the fan didn’t know your new address as rather than sending you your address (as though you had suddenly forgotten where you lived) like last time it was just random messages trying to psych you both out. your phone buzzed again making ranboo jump you dreaded looking at the notification but you did it anyway

Tommy: y/n I’m serious please can we talk..tubbo and jack aren’t the same without you. I miss you

“anything important y/n?”

“no nothing to worry about”

“you’ve not been acting like yourself since the last stream are you sure you’re okay you know It's not your fault don’t blame yourself for whatever’s upsetting you I’m here for you I love you”

“I know boo I know, i love you too”

later that night you had to quickly end your stream despite to fact you had only been streaming 30 minutes as ranboo was arguing with someone the only reason you knew it was serious was because he was shouting back at the person, you had never heard him so angry and you’ve been friends with him for at least 16 years.

“okay chat that’s gonna be the stream for today…I forgot I have something to do I’m not going to raid anyone on here however tech is live on youtube for the first time in ages so I do recommend you go and check out what he’s doing good morning or good night I’ll see you soon”

as soon as you ended the stream you made your way to the room ranboo was in that's when you overheard tubbo arguing with ranboo

“oh good for you ranboo you're getting everything you want I mean you and y/n moved on easily the two of you bought a new house you both look happy and don't get me started on your career's taking off”

“goodbye tubbo”

ranboo left the call and opened the door

“oh boo”

you instantly pulled him into a hug, it was an extremely stressful time for the pair of you and you understood how painful it is arguing with someone who was once your best friend. every night the memory of Tommy blaming you for things that were out of your control and jack telling you to get out of the car haunted you however nothing compared to the way tubbo looked at you when you finally got home that night. he looked at you as though he never cared about the friendship the pair of you shared. of course, you never told ranboo about it keeping you up at night but he wasn’t stupid he knows you were still hurting even if it had been years since the fallouts happened

“why..why are they trying to get in contact again I was starting to feel like myself again”

“I don’t know…come lie with me on the couch for a while we can talk about anything you want”

the pair of you laid on the couch talking about what was going on and reasons why it was happening. ranboo decided he’d forgive the others if they contact him again however you were not as forgiving as they hurt you and your friend. eventually, his crying came to an end and he fell asleep holding onto you. you were falling asleep yourself until your phone buzzed.

Tommy: look y/n why don’t we all meet again, just come home

y/n: I am home I moved into a lovely house with ranboo and I sold the ‘home’ you’re talking about, now please stop contacting me tom I don’t want in my life anymore not only did you hurt me but you also hurt ranboo

Tommy: fine talk to tubbo

y/n: don’t add him...

*tubbo has been added to the group*

tubbo: hi y/n

y/n: you have 5 minutes to explain why you made ranboo cry.

tubbo: I don’t know what you mean

y/n: do you think you’re funny because oh boy do I have news for you.

Tommy: please just meet us one last time you can even bring ranboo

y/n: I was bringing ranboo anyway

tubbo: can I bring jack

Tommy: yes, see you where we always used to meet

y/n: ight see you Saturday

tubbo: see you Saturday I love you

y/n: please don’t say you love me tubbo. if you did we wouldn’t be in this situation.

you spent the rest of the night messing with ranboos hair you ended up accidentally waking him up however he pretended to be asleep before you could notice he was no longer asleep as he didn’t want this moment to end. however, you did occasionally hear him laugh quietly to himself

“Are you awake or am I hearing things”

he decided there was no point in lying as you were already questioning if he was awake and he was struggling to hold back his laughter so responded by tapping your waist signalling to you he was awake

“great..bad news we have to meet Tommy jack and tubbo on Saturday”

you watched as he quickly opened his eyes looking at you as though you had told him the best news ever

“heh?! actually? are you actually being serious right now”

“Unfortunately I am”

noticing you were unhappy about it he pulled you closer to him and spent the rest of the night explaining why it won’t be as bad as you’re expecting it to be and how it might actually be a good thing after all. a couple of hours later you fell asleep feeling a lot more comfortable with what was happening on Saturday ranboo fell asleep not long after, proud of his achievement. the days flew by, it was finally Saturday and you had mixed feelings about it, on one hand, you were somewhat excited about meeting them but on the other hand, you weren’t sure you were ready for them to enter your life again.

“I'm ill sorry ranboo you’ll have to go on your own”

“wowww real mature making me go all on my own…I thought we were best friends”

“I know you’re joking but I’d feel bad making you go alone give me five minutes and then I’ll be ready to go”

“here”

ranboo decided to throw one of his hoodies at you so you had something to wear that made you feel safe as he understood how overwhelming it’ll be to meet them again, five minutes later you got into the passenger's seat next to ranboo

“not feeling like driving hey”

“I will purposely drive around in circles to avoid meeting them”

“heh…are you okay are you actually okay seeing them, I don’t mind letting you stay home”

“I'm fine boo honestly now let’s go”

once you made it and began walking to meet them ranboo grabbed your hand. the only reason he ended up letting go was to talk to the others since Tommy pulled you into a tight hug not wanting to let you go the moment he saw the pair of you

“y/n I’m so sorry”

“I'm sorry too..”

Tommy spent a good few minutes frantically apologising to you for what happened and how he didn’t mean any of it. he was halfway through his speech about how he’s learned from his mistakes when tubbo spoke up.

“Tommy doesn’t keep y/n to yourself”

“sorry tubso”

you looked at tubbo not knowing what to say, it was evident that the pair of you were still hurt, he reached into his pocket grabbing a rock he found on the beach the other day

“here I found it the other day it reminded me of you”

“thank you I love it”

ranboo stood behind you wrapping an arm around you as he noticed you were starting to get upset. tubbo couldn’t believe how much you and ranboo had changed over the past years and it hurt him how close the pair of you had grown and the promise rings you and ranboo were currently wearing left him questioning whether that could have been him if he didn’t leave you both when it was clear you both needed him. jack spoke up next.

“hey, y/n..”

“nice to see you’re still bald manifold”

“Nice to see you haven’t changed. I’m sorry for what happened it hurt to see you go I was kind of hoping that you'd stay”

“oh jack it’s okay you were just trying to lighten up the situation I'm sorry I was so harsh”

a few months later the five of you were slowly but surely mending your friendship you all knew it would be difficult and take a long time to get back to how it was in the past but it would all be worth it

around a year since you met up again the five of you were closer than ever you were all streaming together again, constantly filming vlogs as a group. safe to say the wait was worth it, however, you and ranboo always wearing the promise rings you got for each still hurt tubbo

taglist

@milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

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no-shit-sherl0ck · 3 years ago

Text

happy BTS day.

okay, I'm gonna get emotional because this is the first BTS Anniversary that i actually spend as a fan, and as, what i would also like to call myself, an Army.

June is the month i got to know BTS better. before that, I've had only heard of them, i only knew they existed, but in june, i don't know how, i don't know why, i decided to search their music on youtube. i saw their dynamite mv, the DNA mv, boy with luv mv, and then went to the carpool karaoke. Afterwards, my tiktok algorithm started suggesting BTS related content, especially recommendations for people who were getting into them, and i went on following their suggestions, and found the ON: Kinetic Manifesto Film, then Black Swan, and older ones, and when i tell you that i fell HARD, trust me, i did. Their choreographies hypnotized me, and i just wanted to know more, and see more because they were just SO. GOOD.

A few weeks ago, i got curious to know exactly when i started to, like, really stan BTS, so i searched up my instagram stories archive, and the likes archive, and june was the month. In the stories archive i found that june 10th was the first time i posted BTS related content on my instagram, and from then on, BTS was in almost every other story, whether as background music, or it was something specifically about them; therefore, i chose June 10th, 2021 as the day i officially started this journey with them.

Sometimes i get a bit sad about it because throughout the time that I've been exposed to BTS content, I've seen the bullying some new armies receive from older armies, using the word "baby army" as an insult, so for a long time, i refused to call myself army, because i thought i didn't deserve the name, how could i when i only met them??

besides, i felt like armies, older and new, put so much effort into being an Army, like, they stay up all night streaming, they download every app there is when they have to vote, they are always there when there's a vlive, they know so much, they do so much, but i know and do so little. so, yeah, i felt uncomfortable calling myself and Army (and i still do) when i know that i can't do the same things other Armies do for them.

But today, even if only for today, i decided to call myself an Army, and celebrate this 9 years of BTS with them, and enjoy everything they're giving us now, everything they gave us before, and everything they will be giving us going forward. Today I embrace the name, i embrace the journey no matter the lenght, and i embrace the love i have to give them and the love they have given me. Today i embrace the many nights they have comforted me with their songs, with their laugh, and with their words. Without realizing it, without them knowing, they've given me lots of advice. And I love them. 💜

I love them so much that it sometimes scares me.

Anyways, this is just something that has been on my mind today, and i wanted to write it somewhere and leave it out there.

tomorrow we still have a surprise coming, and they said is a big one, my gut is telling me it's tour dates, and that scares and excites me. after i saw the video where they said that they were planning on going on tour before the pandemic made me kind of thank these years locked up because they gave me the opportunity to get to know them, and now i might have a chance to see them on tour. can you imagine?? i know i do.

I also sometimes feel like those years we spend locked up were a time to discover and rediscover many things. For me, i discovered my love for BTS and rediscovered my ability to feel like a teenager all over again, and experience the rawness of this kind of love you can only give to an artist. i know these were hard times for all of us, but I'm just trying to see the bright side and not dwell in the pain.

Well, this was my open letter to 7 boys who changed a lot in my life this year, and i hope we keep growing together.

Happy 9th Anniversary, BTS.

Cheers to many more.🥂💜

#9 years with bts #happy 9th anniversary #BTS #Army #i purple you #borahae

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harcourtholmesii · 2 years ago

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First Row: - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim; Primarily, I adore the open world and making it all your own. - Fallout 4; Much the same as above, just in a setting I can appreciate more (post-apocalyptic). - Among Us; When I am a crewmate, I am the most suspicious person in the group. When I am the murderer, I am the most innocent of beans. I enjoy the irony, I think is what I am saying. - Red Dead Redemption; Honestly, I haven't played this game in a loooong time, but I remember loving it all. The world and space, hog-tying criminals and leaving them on train tracks... Ah, the good times. - The Red Lantern; It is a game of beautiful puppy dogs and I love it. Puppy deaths are off, because I can't stand the thought of it as is, I don't need to bawl my eyes out over a Nintendo Switch game. Second Row: - Assassins' Creed II; What I felt was missing in the first game was massively improved upon and explored in this one. Not to mention, a very charismatic main cast and a gorgeous setting in Renaissance Italy. - Dungeons & Dragons (Fifth Edition); Whilst you didn't specify video games, I had to put this TTRPG here, simply because it rules my every waking moment. - Dead By Daylight; The community is a love/hate box of mad cats, and the game is a cruel mistress, but I am addicted to it! I love it far too much. Claudette and Zarina are my main survivors, and though I rarely play killer, both Trapper and Pyramid Head are my mains. - Cuphead: Don't Deal With The Devil; This game was tough, and there are still certain bosses I dread to face again, but I love it all the same. The lore is interesting, the style is beautiful and the soundtrack is such a bop. There is a reason I just have 'Don't Mess With King Dice' in my usual youtube playlist. - The Lord Of The Rings: Battle For Middle Earth II; I absolutely love this game, and I am so disappointed that I can't run it on my newer computer. I haven't played it in years, but it was my go to game 5+ years ago. Third Row: - Payday 2; My partner and I play this all the time. It is a game we both love to have, and whilst they are far better at it than I, there have been improvements made on my part. Sokol will forever be my main. - This War Of Mine; The addition of the expansion packs made this game work even better, at least for me. It is a hard game and a depressing one, but it is one I adore. For the life of me, I can't really fathom why, but every time I play it, I am immersed. - Sims 4; I only play this game to build. I have played some of the actual life simulation but it bores me pretty quick. Sims 2 was the only one of the Sims games that kept my interest in the actual gameplay. However, Sims 4 is my favourite for its style and the updating of the build/buy tools. - Infected; If no one has tried or played this TTRPG, I highly recommend it. It is a zombie game, but it is so much fun with a lot of character building options. It fuels my love of the genre so much! Fourth Row: - Team Fortress 2; Whilst I am more of a Mann vs Machine player, I do really enjoy most gamemodes for TF2. I haven't gone into many of the fan made works, though I really want to, simply because I am unfamiliar with how it works. My mains, in order of my frequency playing them, are; Medic, Sniper, Scout and Pyro. - Pokemon Sword; I'll admit, I don't have much to say about this game. I do genuinely enjoy it, but Pokemon games have never really been to my fancy. I love seeing them roam about the wild, though! - Until Dawn; The first game that I saw published by Supermassive Games, and my overall favourite. Yeah, the characters don't really behave all that realistic/aren't really relatable, but the game is fun with some really good jump-scares and storytelling. - Outlast and Outlast Whistleblower; There are a number of games on this list that deserve a viewer discretion warning. This, however, takes the cake. Probably the most violent and horrific of the horror genre on this list, both the main game and its DLC are brilliantly terrifying and with a very in-depth and well-crafted story (in my humble opinion). - Northgard; A game remarkably similar to Battle For Middle Earth II, and yet, with a lot more to it and a very harsh spike to its difficulty. Sometimes I just chill on normal mode, other times I am losing my mind as a blizzard rolls in for Winter. Goat clan all the way! I shall have all of the fluffy bois! Fifth Row: - Detroit: Become Human; This game gets a lot of well warranted critique, and understandably so, but it does not dampen my love for such an interesting concept and a wonderful cast of characters. Connor's storyline is, by far, my favourite, followed by Markus' revolution. - Telltale's The Walking Dead (Seasons 1 and 2); This game hurts me inside. It really does. I do not much appreciate how the story turned in the second season, but the first is fantastic and the second is a worthy, if harsh, follow up. As for the other two seasons and the DLC, I'm afraid I have not played them. - Minecraft; This is a game made for me to waste time. It is both stressful and stress-relieving. It might be childish, but it lets me whittle away the hours I have stewing in my own consciousness. - Telltale's The Wolf Among Us; Holy Hell, I love this game! Good guy Bigby all the way but I adore most everything about it. The style, the main character, the rest of the cast (especially Faith, Grendel and Bloody Mary), and just the story pulls me in, no matter how many times I play it. - Call Of Duty: Black Ops II (Zombies); This one is just fun. I used to play this all the time with a friend and we have been slowly getting back into it and getting better every time. If you want just straight action and a rising difficulty on horde mode, I would highly recommend!

A short list of honourable mentions below: - Warhammer End Times: Vermintide - Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn - Garry's Mod: Prop Hunt - GTA V - The Forest - Gartic Phone - Papa's Something-eria - Google's Internet-Is-Down Dinosaur Game

Whoo! And that should be most, if not all of it. This was a long and unnecessary answer, but I am an indecisive hooman being who felt the need to answer in detail.

Now is the time for me to return to my lair. See below:

Until I am awoken again, thank you @ur-typical-nerd for the lovely ask, and sorry for the unnecessarily long rant. Have a good one!

#Favourite Game Bingo #Not Sure If Tumblr Will Like Me Excessively Tagging This Post #So I Won't #Answering A Question #HarcourtHolmesII

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achliegh · 4 years ago

Text

Golden

(Sorry if this Chapter is lack luster :/ )

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Ladies Love Country Boys

Bonfire Playlist: Spotify, Youtube

Watching Airplanes

Chapter 2:

Cowboy Sweet Ass sent you a Location

New Message from Cowboy Sweet Ass

See you there ;)

Finn was nervous, he wasn’t gonna lie, Logan and Him are leaving tomorrow for Gryff and this is the last night they can see Leo. Who, neither of them will admit this, has kindly wiggled his way into their brains for every minute of everyday. Sometimes to break a long silence between the two of them they will talk about Leo. How they were going to cope when they can’t see him again is unknown and something he didn’t want to think about.

They hadn’t actually seen Leo in the past five days, with their training schedule and Leo helping set up a charity arena for the thing they were supposed to meet him at tonight, it was just late night calls that were still kinda awkward at times. But always had them smiling as they fell asleep.

Walking up the dirt path, where the uber had dropped them off, Logan and Finn weren’t sure they were in the right place until they saw the huge crowd gathered around a tall metal fence with bleachers and an announcers corner that's up on a hydraulic lift, speakers set up so people can hear the quick talking of the men commenting on whatever was happening.

Horses and people on them were everywhere. This causes Logan a lot of stress, as someone who is terrified of horses… This is not ideal. Especially when one is trotting toward them at a scary fast speed.

Finn recognized Clayton immediately, trotting over at a leisurely pace on a cool looking horse he waves. He notices Logan hiding himself completely behind Finn’s back. Finn held his hand out for Logan to take and squeeze if everything got too much for him. Logan wasn’t good in big crowds.

“Well look who it is!” Clayton hops off his living vehicle and patting her neck. “Let me introduce you to my babe, This” He gestures towards the mare, “Is Leroy, she is a Blanket Appaloosa! Have you guys met Peanut yet? He’s chilling with Eloise, Leo’s mom, you better hope he likes you or else… yeah, or else.” Clay flashes them his slightly crooked but stupidly white smile as he absentmindedly pets Leroy’s neck.

Feeling a squeeze of his hand he looks back to see an absolutely terrified Logan, not knowing about his fear of horses Finn is just confused. So, he goes into a ‘ get Logan alone’ mind set.

“We will find you in a minute, we’re gonna explore!” Finn smiles back and Clayton nods as he swings his leg back over Leroy and clicks his tongue so she struts back towards the group of other yeehaws on their own horses, they all had numbers pinned to their backs which was weird but Finn guessed Leo would explain later. Claytons was CR243, and it looked like it was about to fall off. He notices how someone would go in real fast and then come out after a minute or two. The announcer talked too fast for him to catch.

Leading Logan to a more open area he turns to face him and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, what's wrong?”

“Ummmm, J'ai peur des chevaux….” Logan isn’t looking him in the eyes and has an embarrassed flush to his face. Finn, having no clue what he said, gently grabs his chin to make him look at him, Lo hasn’t run his finger through his hair yet so that means he isn’t nervous around Finn at least. Fixing Logan with a slightly irritated but still worried look, Logan sighs and tries to say something but instead what comes out is a terrified yelp as something takes his hat off his head and pulls some of his hair at the same time, then drops it at his feet.

Whipping around and jumping into Finn’s arms bridal style Logan shrieks as he is met with a blonde horse that almost looks smug. The little splotchy white stripes on its snoot may make it look kinda cute but Logan knows what can happen if you get on a horse's bad side. It happened to Sydney, he didn’t need it to happen to him too.

“Peanut!” A very tall and beautiful older woman walks over to them laughing a little, she has a hearing aid in her left ear and soft blue eyes bright with amusement stare them down. “Sorry Y’all, he likes to find new people to mess with.” She smiles and there is just something so familiar about those deep dimples and sharp cheekbones. She is wearing tight jeans with knee high army green cowboy boots, a white button up with a black cowboy hat contrasting the golden curls falling out from under it. She is wearing a sash with the words ‘Miss Louisiana 1971’ the wrinkles on her face didn’t make her look old and crinkly like people like to think, but more like a gracefully aging woman. She holds her hand out to Finn for him to shake, Logan is still in his arms so it is as much of an invitation to him as Finn. “I’m Eloise, this is my son’s horse.” She looks them up and down after shaking both their hands. “He would like you two.” She smiles one last time, giving them a giant wink and leads Peanut away from them back to the bullpens where they spot Leo sitting on the top of a fence talking to a couple of people.

Finn looks at Logan and sets him down.

“So.. horses?”

“Shut up”

“You go for a cowboy and are afraid of horses!” Finn is bent over laughing and clutching his stomach while Logan crosses his arms and looks around annoyed after he dusted off his hat and put it back on his head.

“What’s so funny?” they look over to see Leo in full get up. Smiling bright, showing off his chipped tooth. His hair was flattened by a black sturdy cowboy hat, his blue button up vibrant under his black vest. The vest had a couple of logos stitched into it for Absolut Vodka, Mt. Dew, and Ariat…. Leo was sponsored? He was also wearing some jeans that fit him just right around his booty that they could see through his assless black chaps that had iridescent tassels on them, with his black boots and belt to match. His silver buckle stood out with the light reflecting off it.

“Wow… you look great.” Logan just melts into Leo’s side when Leo wraps an arm around his shoulders. “But tell Finn to stop being a jerk.” Logan put on his best pout when looking up at the taller man, who looked at him with a look that made his heart feel like it was about to jump out of his chest. It didn’t alarm him though, it was nice to feel like this. But it can’t last forever.

“What's he doing that's so mean.” Leo turns his attention to Finn who is smiling at them like he's watching two kittens cuddle into each other. His eyes bright with happiness, his smiles wide.

“He’s making fun of me because I’m scared of horses.” Logan wraps his arms around Leo’s waist and squishes his cheek into his chest to look as cute as possible, so Leo will be on his side. Which… fails.

“You’re afraid of horses!” Leo hugs Logan as he starts laughing, smacking a kiss on the top of Logan’s annoyed forehead and squeezes him. “You’re so cute.” Suddenly they hear numbers coming over other speakers and Leo perks up. “Oh I’m up soon! I hope y’all are gonna stay and watch because I would love to take you to the bonfire tonight.” He pulls Finn into the embrace and gives them both a quick peck on the lips, smiling when they chase his lips. “There should be an open spot in the bleachers or, you could watch from Peanut.”

“Bleachers!” Logan gets out of Leo’s arms and starts pulling both the boys towards the crowd without horses. Leo helps them find a spot next to some girls who flirt with Leo but he has no fucking clue. He is just focused on getting Finn and Logan a good spot.

“Alright, my number is BR11710, so when you hear that you’ll know I’m up! I think Clay might come and find you, he had a good run earlier wrangling those troublemaking claves, so keep an eye out for him.” He smiles and climbs down the bleachers gracefully until the last small step where his spur gets caught and he has to yank it out of the cevous it got stuck in. Looking back up at Finn and Logan his cheeks were red as he shrugged and sauntered off towards the chutes.

“Hola losers!” Clayton plops down above with and slaps a hand on their shoulders. “Excited to see him ride? Or have you already? Actually I would know because we overshare way too much.” Smiling, Clayton is covered in dirt and his cowboy hat has been traded out for a ball cap and his button up taken off to be just a white tank top. A tall pale girl sat down with Clayton and was scrolling on her phone looking uninterested. Clayton sits up and wraps an arm around her waist. “Oh this is Ashley, my girlfriend.” She looks up and gives them an irritated wave before going back to her phone.

“Ride? What’s he doing?” Finn looks at him confused after sharing a look with Logan about the irritated girlfriend, then they hear the announcers call Leo's number.

“Alrighty ladies and gentlefolk! We have something special for y’all! One of our very own PBR riders is here to ride the roughest toughest bull of the day! Ole Forty Days!” The crowd cheers as a confused Finn and Logan look at Clayton who whoops and hollers for his bestie. Whistling with his thumb and forefinger in his mouth.

“Alright Jimmy lets get in some commentary before the ride starts, Leo Knut is a 19 year old Professional Bull Rider, his Mother is Eloise Knut also known as Miss Rodeo of 1970 and Miss Louisiana of 1971. His father was Wyatt Knut, Air Force Veteran who was also Leo’s biggest role model.”

“Was?” Logan whispers and gives a sad look to Finn who is busy watching Leo, he is on this tank of an animal, large, white, horns the size of his whole forearm. Leo was adjusting the way he is sitting and has an underside grip on the rope around the bull, wrapping it around his palm to make sure there isn’t a tether that can be stepped on and yank him off.

“Ole Forty Days is the only PBR bull here today, worth millions he is undefeated 32-0 in his career this year. Will Leo who is 30-2 this year be able to stay on those eight seconds.”

Leo hits the challenge button and the gate flies open, Ole Forte days is wild! Finn is automatically on his feet as he watches Leo with his hand up in the air, eyes hard from focusing and counting in his head. Forte turns a 45 degree buck and just about tosses Leo but his grip is so tight that he lasts those eight seconds. The announcers went crazy the entire time.

As he dismounts the still bucking bull his wrist gets caught in the rope he was holding earlier because of the way his glove is falling apart. The rodeo clowns distract the bull fast enough for Leo to get himself detached, falling on the ground. The bull tosses Leo onto the ground and just misses stomping on his ankles. Leo hops onto the fence, the adrenaline is pumping through his veins and his eyes are bright as he searches for the boys in the stand watching him with fear etched into their faces. When his eyes met Logan’s the fear turned into relief and Leo felt the adrenaline making his heart beat even faster.

After Forte is corralled back into the pen to have the rope around his hips removed Leo jumps off the fence and takes his hat off bowing to the crowd, and they love it, whistling and whoops are heard. He points to Finn, Logan and Clayton. Clayton is so excited and starts dragging the other two down the bleachers leaving Ashley behind. Leo doesn’t like her at all so it's fine. Leo turns around and walks towards sports medicine and lets them take a look at his wrist. As his adrenaline starts to fade away the tweak in his wrist starts to bother him as the medic wraps it up.

“You just ruined Forte’s career!” Clay hugs him from the side and picks him up all excited, his girlfriend who decided to join looks at them unapprovingly. Finn and Logan basically tackle Leo to the ground once Clay puts him down. One on each side of him, balanced.

“Are you insane! That could have killed you!” Finn is shaking a laughing Leo by his collar as Logan examines the way his wrist is wrapped.

“I know, I technically wrecked at the end but I still got my eight seconds!” He smiles and takes his hand from Logan, cupping his cheek and rubbing his thumb over the soft skin.

“You never told us you rode bulls! Leo, a little heads up would have been appreciated!” Logan whacks him on the back of the head after they stand up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?” Leo puts an arm around them and kisses their temples. They had an idea. Where to do it was the question.

The rodeo ended not long after Leo’s ride, the charities the winners chose would be given a five thousand dollar check courtesy of the Knut’s. After Leo was done taking down the arena, a large pile of wood was set up with large equipment. Leo pulled a Clayton and took off his chaps, vest, button down, and hat off so he was wearing a white shirt and a ball cap.

Leo made up for scaring Finn and Logan by pulling them into the back seat of his truck. Leo sitting in the middle of the seat with Finn straddling one leg, hunched over and sucking on Leo’s neck. Logan straddled Leo’s other leg and kissed him with a ferocity that made them both groan. Leo rested his hands in Finn’s hair and on Logan’s hip. Pulling away Leo turns his head to face Finn, guiding him from his neck to lips. He feels Logan push his hand underneath his shirt and smirks into his kiss with Finn. Moving his hands to squeeze both of their asses, causing Logan’s breath to hitch and Finn to moan. He is about to suggest something spicy when a knock on the window alerts them that the party has started.

Why does Clay always have to stick to his word? Leo asked him to let them know when it was time to move his truck to have the tailgate facing the fire, and now was that time. Leo’s head thumps back onto the seat as he lets out an annoyed sigh.

“Well, I guess we have a party to attend… I’m gonna get so drunk.” He smiles and gives his boys one last kiss before he ushers them out of the truck so he can get out of the backseat to move it.

Finn wanders over to Clayton who has Ashley under his arm, she is tall and very skinny. Her long brown hair was in a French braid, she was wearing short shorts, boots and a crop top. He has a very sour look on her face as Finn walks over to them. Logan on the other hand, goes to take a piss in the porta potty. Something he is not fond of doing.

Leo moves his truck and gets out to put the tailgate down so people can sit on it, climbing into the bed of the truck he opens the cooler in the back and takes out two budlights, Leo doesn't really care for budlight but they need to be drunk.

“CLAYTON!” He shouts as the three walk over to the truck, chucking the beer at his friend; they both take out their keys, puncturing the cans and shotgunning the beers.

A few hours and a lot of drinks later Leo was singing to Finn, standing between his legs as Finn sat on the tailgate next to Logan who was filming.

“You can train 'em, You can try to teach 'em right from wrong. But it's still gonna turn 'em on!” Finn can’t help but laugh and wrap his arms around Leo’s necklaces he sang, every once in while facing Logan's phone and singing into the camera as he filmed. Taking a drink of his beer he smacks a sloppy kiss on Finn's cheek and skips away to Clayton to dance like idiots as Luke Bryan sang about shaking it for birds and bees.

The two drunken best friends wrap and arm around each other hips with their drinks in the other hand, putting left side to right side they swing back and forth to the beat as they scream out the music.

Later on Leo picks Logan up so his arms are around his neck and his legs are around his waist and spins around while humming to a song about wheels and Finn looks so smitten that clayton takes a picture to show him and laughs as he send it to Leo, who has managed to misplace his phone… for the millionth time.

Setting Logan down he wraps his arms around the shorter man's shoulders and rests his chin on top of his head as he bounces to the beat. Logan leans his forehead to rest on Leo’s chest and uses his hand that isn’t holding his water to loop his finger into one of Leo’s belt loops he wishes he could take a screenshot in his brain.

Hours passed, singing and horrible dancing, more drinking for Clay and Leo until it sounded like a good idea to see who could crush a folding table by jumping off Clayton’s truck. Finn managed to lead them away before they actually tried it by telling them’ Leo could def dance better than Clayton’. Which turned into the worst dance battle ever seen. Two drunk teenagers and country music make for terrible dancing but a lot of laughs. Eventually, the fire dies down, the drinks run out and the boys get tired. Finn wrangles Leo into the back seat of the truck after lifting the tailgate, moving to go to the drivers seat because Logan might be to short to drive and they are to dumb to figure out how to move the seats, Leo latches onto him and pulls him into the backseat with him.

“Hey! How do you expect me to drive back here!” Finn pokes Leo’s nose and Leo catches his finger in his mouth biting him. Finn squawks and pulls his finger away. Looking at Leo offended, laughing a little as Leo is looking at him with this tiny smirk. “That was rude.” Leo narrows his eyes playfully and flips them so Finn is laying on his back with Leo snuggling into his chest.

Logan gets in on the passenger side and looks up to see Finn in the back seat being snuggled by an oddly cat like Leo who is rubbing his face on Finn’s soft t shirt, when his eyes meet Logans he blushes so vibrantly pink and has the shyest smiles as he hides his face in Finn’s chest again. Logan looks at Finn who looks like he's dying from cuteness overload. Logan moves over to the driver's seat and sits all the way on the edge of the seat to be able to touch the petals. Logan doesn’t have a clue where Leo lives… but he does remember how to get back to the hotel.

Trying to get a clingy 6’3” cowboy into a hotel room while he is intoxicated is a lot easier than you would think. He was tired, stripping down the second they walk into the door he lands on the bed in his boxer briefs and spoons Logan and grips Finn’s arm as he falls asleep.

They all slept incredibly well that night, warm, close, and together.

The next morning was the morning The Lions leave to go back to Gryffindor. Leo was up before the other two, showered and dressed when he woke them up with peppering kisses all over their faces.

“Good morning, Honey Bees. Y’all need to get up and get ready to leave, you go home today.” Leo runs his hand through Finn’s hair as he greets them with a sad smile. He doesn’t want them to leave, but he knows that this isn’t some fairytale where two princes will give up their dreams to be with him. That’s not what he wants anyway. The other two finally get up, Finn goes to shower as Logan changes and packs his bag. Glancing at Leo every once in a while, like he wants to say something.

“Leo, what are you still doing here?” Logan drops his bag by the door and turns around to face the taller man, crossing his arms and giving Leo a cold look. Leo is a little taken back by this, Logan has never looked at him like that, and he wasn’t expecting it from how nice yesterday was.

“I was to see you two off… is that okay?” Leo starts to feel uncomfortable under the harsh eyes he found so pretty, he starts picking at the wrap around his wrist, breaking eye contact with Logan as a sinking feeling seeps into his chest. He never expected anything to actually come from this but he ached for it.

He knows where this is going.

“I don’t know what you think is going to happen after we leave, but we aren’t going to be fawning over you when we are busy with our own careers. You are just… a guy who we had a fling with. Finn and I aren’t even together so don’t expect anything.” Logan's voice stayed low in volume but echoed in Leo’s ears.

“I wasn’t expecting anything. I just wanted to see you guys leave, say goodbye, maybe…” Leo didn’t finish his sentence when he looked up at an annoyed and frustrated Logan. “What did I do?” He hears the bathroom door open and Finn walks into the room whistling in fresh clothes as he dries his hair with a towel.

“You don’t mean anything to us Leo'' Finn hears Logan and knows exactly what’s going on, Logan has done this to him many times. This is Logan’s way of cutting off something he wants in a way he knows won't bring the person back, even though he always feels horrible eventually. Finn has been a victim of Logan’s lashing out many times, and he hasn’t left, because he loves Logan. He really really likes Leo, he gives his heart a similar jolt that Logan does. From what they have discussed, Logan felt the same. Logan doesn’t allow himself the luxury of feeling like this though.

Leo looks absolutely shattered after Logan’s words sank in. He looks over to Finn who looks like he’s in his own head, then back to Logan. “I really really like you guys-”

“Stop being a fucking child Leo! This isn’t something we can continue after we leave, we would get torn to shreds by the league! Not everything is about you and we don’t want you! So just go back to your fucking farm and forget us.” Logan grabs his bag and walks out the door slamming it shut, going to be the first one on the bus that just pulled up to take the team to the airport.

Leo stares at where Logan was when red catches his eye, Finn stops and gives Leo a sad smile, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. Finn then turns his back to Leo and follows Logan out the door. Leaving Leo alone in the hotel room… He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the hotel keycard, standing up he goes to leave it on the table of the room, he stops just before he sets the key down.

He takes the card and walks out of the room, Climbing into his truck that was horribly parked, he finds his phone on the floor of the passenger side. Picking up his phone, he calls up the only person he knows who would be willing to hang out even if he was sick from last night.

“Clay? Can you meet me somewhere?”

A half hour and some McDonald's hash browns later. Clayton and Leo were sitting on top of Leo’s truck hood watching the airplanes take off, sipping on soda they got with their food. They watched in a comfortable silence as planes brought people in and took people away.

Logan and Finn were on one of those.

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #james potter #thomas walker #Clayton Bruss #o'knutzy #o’knutzy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast

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multi--kpop--fanfics · 4 years ago

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[20:32] idol!bf!Jeno x fem!reader, suggestive, slight dirty talk

You were sitting on the couch, your laptop resting on your thighs and you were browsing through YouTube. You weren't in the mood to study or do anything else, so you decided to go on a NCT streaming session, because why not?

You started with a few music videos from each subunit, then you watched some of their concert performances. Although you mostly watched NCT Dream related music, since your boyfriend was actually a Dream member. They were preparing for a comeback, an OT7 one to be exact and you were beyond thrilled. Of course, you were lucky enough to have Jeno spoil some moves from the choreography a few days ago.

Speaking of the devil, one of Jeno's fancams popped up in your recommendations. It wasn't any fancam though - it was the Boom fancam from The Dream Show, the one where he ripped his shirt open and revealed his chiseled abs. You had watched it before and you had even saved it in your favourites, but that didn't stop you from clicking the 'play' button.

You put your headphones on and turned up the volume, singing along to the lyrics, which you had memorized by now. Your eyes were fixated on Jeno's fierce moves and every other external sound was blocked by your headphones. One of these external sounds was the door of your apartment being opened by Jeno himself. "Y/N! I'm home!" he calls, but you don't answer back, since you couldn't hear him. "Baby, are you h-" he asks again but stops mid-sentence, as he notices you sitting on the couch. He tip-toes behind your back to get a closer look at the video you're watching with excitement.

His eyes shoot in slight shock, which gradually gain a wicked glint and a smirk is plastered on his face. He knows the video is nearing the part where he shows his abs and he's not making a move, waiting for your reaction. The big moment comes and you squeal "That's my Jeno, yes baby, show these abs!" with excitement and after a few seconds, the video ends and you take off your headphones.

"Did you enjoy the view?" Jeno asks with a low voice and you scream, jumping and nearly dropping the laptop on the floor. "Jeno! What the hell! You scared me to death!" you yell, cradling your chest. "How long have you been standing there?" you ask nervously. "Only a couple of minutes...But I saw all I wanted to see" he replies, his eye smile visible in all of its glory. "So, is that what you do when I'm not home?" he asks with an eyebrow raised. "Maybe, maybe not" you reply with a teasing tone and Jeno chuckles. "Aren't you a naughty little girl..." he walks around the couch and closes the distance between you, pulling you into his sturdy body. "Or maybe I miss my boyfriend so much that I watch him perform through a screen" you say with a seductive voice. Jeno smiles and kisses you softly on the lips.

"Maybe I should give you a private show then".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note: Requested by @bluejaem , to quench her thirst for Lee Jeno😌✨

#jeno suggestive #nct jeno #lee jeno #nct dream suggestive #nct dream #fanfics

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wkemeup · 4 years ago

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i need to get something out of my chest and i saw that you kind of helped other people, so i’m here for an advice.

i feel lonely, or better, i’m alone. i have no friends, no shoulders to cry on other than mine. i’m 20, i should at least have a person to laugh with, instead i spend my days doing things on my own, receiving good news and having nobody to share them with and i think it’s because of my mental health, i started going to therapy but everyone left - or i made them leave, still trying to understand what happened.

although most of the time i’m kind of okay with it, there are moments where i just want to curl up on my bed and cry all my tears, while my stomach hurts and my head fights all my bad thoughts.

is it going to get better? am i going to have friends and tell them about this sad phase of my life? because i’m really tired of opening all the social media and feeling like i’m alone in a world created at least for two people.

sorry for bothering you, i just have nobody to say this to.

Hi honey. This will be a bit long and given the content, I'm going to add a cut below ❤️

I'm sorry you've been feeling so alone. Before I begin on anything else, I want you to know that if a therapist left, it's never your fault. There can be such high turnover in mental health settings and I promise there is no fault on your part.

Your early 20s are such a tough time. You're young and you're trying to find your place in the world and your own sense of self and what you want to do with your life. That year was actually a really hard year for me, too. I was really depressed in college - isolated, lonely, pushing away the friends I did make at school because the ones I had from high school made new ones and I felt left behind. So, on some level, I understand where you are coming from.

I can tell you from my experience, yes it gets better. It doesn't always move in an upward direction and sometimes things get harder, but I think with age and with time I grew into myself more. I became more comfortable with who I am as a person and comfortable in my sense of self which helped me feel more secure in my relationships too. I promise that you're not alone in the way you feel. I know it must be hard to not have a consistent therapist, but I would really recommend giving it another try. I wish I had done that in my early twenties and it took me until I was 25 and having the type of dark thoughts that started to scare me before I went. It made such a difference for me - if anything, just to have someone to talk to about this stuff that you dont feel like you have elsewhere.

Making friends is always so difficult, but the easiest way to do so is over shared interests. I'm not sure if you're in school, but maybe spend time at a part of campus you like or join a club. If you work, ask a coworker you like to eat lunch together. Even on here - interact with other users. If you have older friends you havent connected to in a while - reach out again. All of these things can be really scary, but you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little in order to make changes. I actually used bumbleBFF when I lived in Boston because I didn't know anywhere there and I made a friend by bonding over our love of Parks and Rec! It seems silly but it was a great way to meet someone new!

I know how terrible that feeling is though to feel so incredibly alone. I hate that you feel that way and I wish I could give you a hug the same way I wish I could for my 20 year old self. Things got better for me, so I believe they will for you, too. Please be gentle with yourself and know that I'm thinking of you.

I'm sending you lots of love. Please do something today that makes you smile. Even if it's watching funny youtube videos, your favorite movie from childhood, looking at old photos, or eating some good ice cream. Dont hesitate to come back and talk to me. I'm always willing to listen.

#inbox

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temporoom · 4 years ago

Text

Kind of wanted to get this out of my mind quickly, so uhm... kind of a personal post? Semi-vent with heartfelt ending? Anyway. If you are uncomfortable with this feel free to just keep scrolling.

WARNING: Internalized homophobia, dubious consent (?)

One of the things that has been bothering me recently is my sexuality. It’ll probably seem weird to old followers because I never hid being bisexual, and most of stories reflect that (since I write all my characters bisexual unless mentioned otherwise). But recently, my certainty was doubted. And I’ve been thinking back to who I am attracted to.

Back in January, I got a boyfriend, with whom I broke up with a first time after a few weeks, before getting back together only a week after, and definitely broke up with him around a month ago. The reason for that was mostly because of the sudden and brutal realization that I might be just not attracted to men at all.

I luckily didn’t grew up in an environment that would make me ashame of whatever sexuality I might have, but my father always insisted on perpetuating lineage for some reasons, and since my father’s way of thinking corresponded to me more, it also stuck in my head in a way. And so, I always imagined my future with a man despite knowing I was attracted to girls, because I wanted to stay true to that principle (and also because I liked the idea of being married and having children). But that future was only seen as something that would suddenly happen, and I never actually imagined having a passionate relationship with anyone. In my head, I would be single and then married, without any of the in-between that normal couples would have. Romances described by others was nice to witness, and I enjoy it, but I never saw it for myself.

And then, I went from single to the social statue of being in a “couple”. Not only did I lost that statue of being single, but then I realized that I had to be with another human being. That realization was one of the reasons I broke up the first time. I wasn’t ready. But it was tense at home at the moment and I ended up being touch-starved and needing something outside of the safe environment I grew up in, and so I accepted going out with him again after he asked me while I was in a moment of weakness. (He is a very cool guy don’t worry)

The first time I was confused, because I never imagined anyone falling for me ever, and the first person who asked me to go out with them just happened to be head over heels for me (no one asked me out before, and no one ever fell in love with me before). So I thought that I might just needed to clarify our feelings, and put some effort in the relationship to make it work out this time. I was feeling bad for this poor guy who I was treating as a test subject for relationships, but I really needed to think about something else at that moment. And so I put the effort. I held his hands, I accepted physical contact, I acted sweet and all...

And it felt like a performance. Which in a way I knew it was, because I knew I wasn’t in love like he was in love with me.

I thought it was fine, and I could keep up like this. After all, he was everything I could ask for in a guy, and I should be happy. And so I put in the effort... And the relationship advanced quicker than I would have expected.

As he was touching me, I suddenly felt like I was dissociating, I was seeing myself on the third person, controlling a character and not my own body. “I’ve seen it act like this, so I should do like this right?” before I realize it, it was starting to become too close to something too deep, and when I came back to my senses... I was terrified. I was terrified and scared. He kindly asked me if I wanted to stop, and I said yes. He hugged me for a while, and I waited, eyes open in the dark, for him to fall asleep so I could sneak out of bed. He noticed, and let me be, moving a way. I stayed there, eyes open in the dark, heart beating fast, but it was nothing romantic, just irrational fear. I ended falling asleep for a couple of hourse before waking up earlier than I ever did. I went to the bathroom with my clothes in my arms, dressing up there before he could my body again, and then I sat at the end of the bed on the ground, staring at the wall, feeling like I would cry.

I came to the same conclusion as before, doing someything with another human being was just plain terrifying. But something else came to me at that moment... the face of a girl I knew back in high school. This girl was a rollercoaster of emotion for me, she had a boyfriend but was flirty with anyone, and when she had noticed that she had an effect on me... She had taken full advantage on it. Grazing my arm in class with her nails, hugging me tight while pressing her entire body against mine, showing herself of to me in the changing room after gym class... She had drove me crazy. She was also the one who made me realize I could have sexual desire... What I didn’t had with my boyfriend at that moment.

I thought back to when she had allowed me to touch her stomach, how my body had felt like I was burning, the electricity coursing through it just from the contact of my hand with her skin... When it had been with my boyfriend... It had felt empty, and I had quickly went back to analyzing the forms of the body like an anatomy book.

And sitting on the ground, staring at the wall, the dim light of the morning lightening up the room, I realized I liked girls. Only girls.

I wasn’t sure at that moment, so I was still denying it in my head. “No I just can’t make it work out with him. It’s fine. Maybe I will find someone else, and I will have children, and everyone will be happy and... My brother can’t have children, my sister can’t either... If I can’t, if I can’t then I will be useless.” I ended up messaging a friend about it, because I needed to vent to someone, and she listened willingly, but agreed that she couldn’t really help me on that matter. And I knew that even with seeing a therapist, I was the only one who could know.

Words from friends and family came back to my mind as days passed by “I imagined a future where we had families, and you were married to a beautiful woman.”, “You often talk about girls, but you don’t seem attracted to men.”...

“What do you prefer?” She had asked in the dark classroom, her eyelashes fluttering, her fingers tracing patterns on my arms, a sly smile on her pink lips. “Boys... or girls?”

“Both.” I replied quickly, my breath getting caught in my throat, I could feel the red burning on my cheeks.

She hummed, as if she knew, as if she knew I wanted to reply “You.”

As if reading my mind, youtube started recommending me Tiktok compilations of lesbians Tiktok. It was stupid, but I needed answers, and so I clicked on the video.... and then another... and a third... It was enjoyable to watch, but nothing gave me a clear answer. It was always of girls confident in their sexuality, or who wanted to show off their relationship... It didn’t help me. And then one thing stood out between them all, a skit explaining how internalized homophobia worked on lesbians.

Attracted to fictional male character, but not real men.

Wants to date girls, but see themselves marrying a man.

Reassured by being identified as bisexuals...

Some other stuff too. But those three stood out to me. And another on poped up, about a woman explaining how anxiety can make some girls confuse it for attraction due to the similar feeling of nervousness it gives.

At that point, I knew I was a lesbian, and I had broken up with boyfriend for good this time. Yet, I couldn’t accept it.

“What scares you about being attracted to girls?” Asked my mother, a sorry look in her eyes, as if she was asking what she did wrong to make me feel that way.

As if I could cry at any moment, my emotions tried to fight with my reasons. “I don’t know.” It didn’t make sense, ther was nothing rational about fearing being attracted to women.

I started dreaming of heterosexual relationships, dreams that I would live like nightmares, as if I was back with him, performing again, smiling like a good girlfriend and doing what people asked me to... One was sexual, it wasn’t consensual, but I couldn’t see his face, so I thought it was “fine”. If I couldn’t see the face it was fine. There was no logical reasons to be afraid. Maybe I was attracted to men after all? Maybe I could still not be a disappointment...

Why did it bothered me so much? It wasn’t that big of a deal. It’s just how society works, it wants you to find your little box to fit, and you have to act like it, where is your box? Where is the box you fit in? But I couldn’t fit in the box I wanted to, I couldn’t, neither as a bisexual person, or as a lesbian liked described in all the videos I’ve seen.

I felt more uncomfortable each day. Being with a human was terrifying, being attracted to girls was terrifying...

This night I dreamt of kissing a girl. She wasn’t someone I had knew, and yet, her face was detailed, as if she had been real, and right before me at that very moment. We talked, and her voice was soft, and our lips touched, and my body was mine, not one fabricated by my mind, and she said it was beautiful. She smiled, and I felt... at peace. Like I could see a future with this girl I just met. Our hands touched, and I woke up alone. The memory of her lips still on me.

It was my first time dreaming of a girl like this, and it was nothing like any dreams I had before, it made me feel good, at peace, as if it was where I belonged, and where I was meant to belong all my life.

“I like girls.” I thought, and then I smiled. “I like girls.”

And I couldn’t get why I was afraid before, because that feeling of love I had felt in my dream was amazing. It was more real than anything I had felt before. I wanted to cherish it.

This morning I woke up, thinking that I like girls. That it was alright to just think that, hope for that, and hope for something else as well. And I felt at peace.

I’m sorry to my ex if you’re reading this, you did nothing wrong, you were the best guy anyone could ask for... I’m just gay. And it’s time for me to accept it once and for all.

Oh and thank you to anyone who read it until the end. I’m sorry I had to vent here, but I felt like I had to write it somehwere. Thank you for being patient with me!

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throughthenotes · 3 years ago

Text

Bowling w/ @AMindfulChaos @ALoverOfDreams & @InspiredAdams

Jaiden:

Just one or do you want a pitcher? <Beer. Talking about your traditions, it was nothing for Rainey and I to put a large pizza, nachos and a few pitchers of beer away while bowling in our day. It was the one thing she had insisted on once we found ourselves aged out of the system. She called it our one day of the week that we could look forward to for years and the old pastime had quickly became a favorite to us both. The problem was ever since my run in with gallery guru as she had come to call him, I had been laying low when it came to my partaking in any substance. Drinking mostly. Apparently, my issues tended to turn into a variety of problems that only people with policing authority could handle and wasn't that just the bitch of it all. "Actually, how about a Pepsi."> Rainey.. <That earned her a look. "What? I just don't feel like drinking any tonight." Right. Shaking my head, I took a turn towards the concession and headed there while Rainey set up our game. The half hearted glare she had given me in return, earned herself a chuckle of recognition. I knew why she wasn't drinking. Not that my sister was a lush or anything but beer and bowling, normally went hand in hand. Shrugging it off though and having to grab a bowling ball on the way back, I finally made it up there to look over the menu, even though it didn't take me long to figure out what I would be ordering. It was almost always the same. However, my thoughts were suddenly stolen from me because of the lovely brunette directly in front of me in line. You would have to be blind not to notice her but even with that, it would still be a poor excuse. That's when it hit me. What was I thinking? She has be here with someone. Another friend maybe. Seeing not another soul around on half price Wednesday night, I finally spoke up when you seemed to be lost in menu land.> Do you normally bowl by yourself? <So it wasn't the greatest ice breaker but my first impression wasn't a total loss I hoped when I flashed her that crooked grin.>

Camryn:

{I had fully intended to lock myself in my room and binge trash TV with a boatload of munchies. But @InspiredAdams wasn’t having any of that. He was insistent that we do something “outside of the house.” I held out for a long time. But then he promised me one of those ooey gooey cheese pizzas they had down at the bowling alley. And that sounded way better than the stuff laying around the house. Especially since we were down to slim pickings as we approached grocery day. As soon as we were inside, I left him to figure out all the technicalities while I made a beeline for the snack bar. The question was just pizza? Or did I want some wings too? Nachos? Oh, they had sliders too… Suddenly I was pulled from my decision making from a voice behind me. I spun around, intending to lie and say I was here with my boyfriend. It wouldn’t be the first time I had forced Chris to play the boyfriend role to save me from some random. Then he offered me that crooked grin, and my heart did a little flip} Oh, I’m not alone. {the look on your face told me you were assuming, and my eyes flew open a little wider} Brother! {jerks my thumb over my shoulder in the direction that I had left him} I’m here with my brother. {smiles, glancing around now for anyone that looked like they were with you} What about you? Are you here alone? {cringes internally at how hopeful that sounded}

Jaiden:

I'm not alone. I mean if you count us both, we're here together. [Chuckling low, I glanced in the direction you looked before turning my gaze back to yours. My grin only growing wider at the mention of a sibling because what were the chances of you believing me when I told you it was the same for me.> That was a joke. I'm here with my sister. <Not a joke. It couldn't be if it were true and we very much were not alone. Those kind eyes of mine, won you over then when you smiled my way, letting me off the hook only to have it falter when the clearing of throats could be heard. "You ordering, hun?" Arching a playful brow, I point up at the menu you had been looking at only moments ago.> They are waiting on you. The pizza is good and so are the nachos. My sister likes them.

Camryn:

{I wasn’t ready to stop talking to you. And I had just opened my mouth to ask if it was an older sister or younger when I heard the cashier asking for my order. My cheeks instantly flushing as I let out a laugh at myself and turned to her} Oh, geez. I’m so sorry. {flashes her a bright smile before beginning} Um, a pepperoni pizza, please? And a pitcher of Pepsi? {glances over my shoulder at you, taking that nacho recommendation to heart} Oh, and some nachos too please? {I quickly paid her, and stepped out of your way, off to the side where she told me to wait for my order to be ready.}

Jaiden:

<"Same for you?" I actually laughed, shaking my head out of my thoughts at the order you had already placed.> The Thomas special. <I knew you were watching on. The fact that we spent that much time here wasn't lost on me or you for that matter when asked for my own order. It was our usual and I paid accordingly once she rang me up. Receipt now in hand, I casually slipped it into my pocket and walked over to wait beside you when our pitchers of Pepsi were set down in front of us.] They will put the rest on a tray and bring it out.

Can I walk you back to your lane? <I didn't want to part ways just yet. Besides, I still needed to get your number and when you offered me that smile again with a touch of a soft nod, I held my arm out for you to hook your arm around. Leading the way, carrying your soda for you, we reached our fork in the road so to speak, and I cleared my throat before addressing the situation we found ourselves in. Again.] I guess the question now is are you seeking out lust or looking for love? [Can't help but smirk when I look you way now.]

Camryn:

{pops my brows at mention of the Thomas Special. Wondering if Thomas was the first or the last name. Then it dawned on me that it meant you came here a lot if you had them knowing your order so well. And I smirked to myself. Suddenly I was very interested in bowling more often. Chris was going to be either really pleased, or wishing he had never made me come out tonight. Then you were standing next to me again. I didn’t even have the ability to care how lost I seemed because all I could think about was how good you smelled. If Ed or Chris were here they would be rolling their eyes and accusing me of already mentally doodling our names in a notebook. That’s…if I knew your name at least. Thomas though! I knew Thomas! Then you asked to walk me to the lane and I probably agreed way too easily. But it was such a cute offer. And you were hot so…} Umm…? {Your question had caught me off guard. Both is a bad answer right? I laughed nervously because I had half a mind to be really honest and tell you that it was both. But I also knew that was going to only get me in trouble. So I said what I hoped wasn’t going to scare you off} Honestly? I would love to be in love. I write a lot of songs about it. But, yeah, actually experiencing it would be…cool. {cringe number two of the night. I needed a better vocabulary}

Jaiden:

Love it is then. <With a soft tug of my arm and a wink, I began the short walk with you down to the LOVE side of the lanes, pointing it out on the wall with a kick of my chin in that direction.> Does this look familiar now? <I knew in asking that you could have taken it literal, and began looking for your brother, or you could have taken it all the way back to my original question itself. For whatever the reason, I chose to stay in that space and ask the question that had been dancing to get out since you said you had never experienced being in love before. My desire to know more about these songs was fueled by your same statement as well.> Never. Not even a guy in high school? <You have to at least be in college, right? There was no way around it and you really hadn't offered that up yet either. So I took the plunge and spoke up with a grin.> What name could I find these songs under if you don't mind me asking. You already know my last name is Thomas.

Camryn:

{I had to stop myself from facepalming when I saw the big letters written on the wall. But before I could turn too red with embarrassment at my awkwardness, you redirected my mind with your next question} No. Most of the boys in high school were too scared of my brother. {CRINGE! Why would I say that? Now you were really gonna run. But rather than make things better, I did what I always do and just kept talking. Making it worse, I’m sure.} He had a little bit of a temper and… {Trails off as I finally manage to stop myself from rambling, and clears my throat} Nothing has been released, released. I mean, I have a Youtube. Camryn Adams. {smiles} But you can call me Cammy.

Jaiden:

Ah, an older brother. <With a temper no less. This was getting better by the second. Was it possible I was walking towards that sense of impending doom? Or would I be spared of your brother's wrath upon his first impression of me. Fuck... Glancing back over my shoulder, I look Jaiden Thomas. Trust me when I say, I'm still going to check out that Youtube. <Flashing that crooked grin again, I pulled you closer to me by that hook of my arm you had.> You want to head back the other way?

Camryn:

{my eyes had scanned all the lanes close to LOVE, and I hadn’t spotted Chris. I guess I should’ve waited long enough to figure out where he was going before I went to the snack bar. But then, if I had done that, I might have missed you. Giving one last scan, I nodded my head} Hmm…yeah, I don’t see Chris anywhere. Maybe I should’ve known he wouldn’t have gone this far. {laughs more to myself than anything, relief flooding my body that you hadn’t dropped my arm the second you heard about my brother} Oh! There he is! {lifting a finger, I pointed to him before pulling you to stop for a second} But if you contact me through my Youtube…I might mistake you for a weirdo that wants pictures of my feet and not answer…

Jaiden:

Do you want me to contact you again, Cammy? <It was only a quick glance in the direction you pointed, your brother not that far from where @ALoverOfDreams was before I turned my attention back to you and that death grip you were suddenly imposing on my arm. Smirking at first, I welcomed how forward you appeared to be, going for gold as it were only to be cut short with the rest of that final thought. Yeah, the second you said feet, I knew I pulled a face. It would have been smart of me to pause when you held me back by that arm of mine but I couldn't stop the chuckle if I wanted to. You laughed at the expression on my face, and nervous or not, I leaned in to whisper against your ear, unbeknownst to me that @InspiredAdams was about to make his presence known just in time to see you cozying up to yours truly.> How about you give me your number and I'll text you. That way you have my cell too.

Camryn:

{Flushes instantly at your first question. I was making a ton of assumptions, and I knew it. But I really liked you already and it just happened. Then you leaned in and whispered and my stomach filled with butterflies, causing me to completely forget about the proximity of @InspiredAdams, already reaching for my phone in my back pocket to hold it out to you} Here, text yourself with my phone.

Jaiden:

Sure thing, beautiful. <And just like in the movies, it really was that simple. You had been getting your phone out when I heard a shuffling of feet and yours of course, came to a full stop when I heard the clearing of a throat next. "Cammy, this guy bothering you?"> Who, me? <It was your brother. There was no way it was anyone else and from the way you had spoken, I believed this wasn't a normal thing for you. Bowling that was.> She's fine. Just giving her my number. You mind holding this? <I didn't give @InspiredAdams a chance to really reply. Instead I simply handed the pitcher of Pepsi over so I could take your phone from you. All the while your other arm was still hooked around mine as I plugged my number in, quick to snap a pic of us together while your brother watched on and waited for you to introduce us.>

Chris:

What the hell is taking her so long? [I glanced toward the snack bar and didn’t see @ThroughTheNotes over there anymore. Then I finally saw her coming toward me. But she wasn’t alone. Immediately I was on my feet and making my way over to her. She was way too fucking nice for her own good. And I was fully prepared to pull out whatever card I needed to make him get lost] Cammy, this guy bothering you? [He barely looked at me when he answered with that, “Who, me?” And my brow shot up as I was handed a pitcher of soda, looking between @ThroughTheNotes and @AMindfulChaos.] Camryn, who is this? Do you know him?

Rainey:

(I must have entered @AMindfulChaos's name three times before the electric scorecard saved it. The final time, I changed the spelling to L O S E R and would you look at that, it set up the sheet no problem. Laughing quietly to myself, I hadn't heard the gentleman walk up until he asked me if I needed assistance. Politely declining his invitation to join him when I explained I wasn't alone, he didn't seem to take the hint until I held up my hand, sporting a gold band. The fact that it was found inside the bowling bag of one "Fred from Kentucky" and after many, many failed attempts to locate its previous owner, Fred from Kentucky had been born. Thinking back to the day that I found it, I remembered the crap Jaiden had given me over the name. "Fred the blue ball. Do you hear yourself, Rainey?" We had a good laugh about it but it worked seeing how Fred always came through for me from that day forward. Smiling now too, I waited to look up until the guy had made his exit to return to his own lane, taking a gander around the bowling alley in search of my brother. It wasn't like Jaiden to take a stroll, always one to come right back anytime we were here, I furrowed my brows when the snack bar attendant showed up with our food. It was only after further inspection though I realized it wasn't ours and I got up to go in search of you, heading back up to the bar to let them know our order was wrong in the process when I spot you with a girl. And a guy... Feeling that pit in my stomach already, I started to head towards you all instead. Our food long forgotten as worry started to set in.)

Camryn:

{squints my eyes at @InspiredAdams in warning. He was NOT going to scare this one away. And I hoped he was picking up on my unspoken message as we stared at each other. Until you held up the phone and I smiled for the picture before finally speaking} I do now. Chris, this is Jaiden. Jaiden, this is my totally going to not be a jerk brother, Chris.

Jaiden:

<Chuckling, I waited until I handed the cell back to you before I extended my hand.> Nice to meet you ... <Not a jerk Chris almost flew out of my mouth when I happen to see Rainey heading our way on a mission. Her purpose plain as day the closer she got and I mumbled "Shit.." under my breath. The last thing I needed was this guy on my ass about you but to do it in front of Rainey, well I wouldn't live it down if I got us kicked out of our favorite home away from home. Not to mention, it was your brother.> ... Chris. She was alone so I offered to escort her back to her lane. I plan on asking her out soon too. <What the hell was I saying? This was suppose to make it better, right? Laying out my intentions. Rainey always said it was the best policy to be honest so why stop now.> I was just on my way back. <Looking to @ALoverOfDreams as I spoke, that last part was meant for her when I finally cleared my throat, only taking the moment to introduce my sister to @ThroughTheNotes, purposely.> Cammy, this is Rainey.

Chris:

[I kept my eyes on Cammy as she gave me her damn looks. And continued to stare at her when she introduced me as her “not gonna be a jerk brother, Chris.” Then @AMindfulChaos said that bit about asking her out that had my eyes finally flicking over to him, really assessing him now as I firmly shook his hand. He looked like he could be another clown in the business Cammy played around in} Are you an artist too? {I smirked because I was out of slapping range of Cammy. But then we were joined by another person which left my question unanswered. But one look at her and I wasn’t too bothered to hear the answer anymore. If this was his sister, maybe I could keep an eye on him if it meant she stuck around…]

Rainey:

It's nice to meet you, Cammy. (My gaze darted between @ThroughTheNotes and Jaiden, seeing her arm still wrapped around my brother's like her life depended on it until I saw him shaking hands with the other guy privy to our little gathering here. The gesture between the two was older than dirt and more so added to complement the giving of your word on something. I could read body language pretty well though. The guy didn't seem to thrilled about Jaiden escorting her back but all that changed the second he looked back over his shoulder at me.) He boxes. I mean, boxing. Like bowling. I mean it's not like bowling per say but it'ssss a sport. (Damn it. Not now... My smile was small as I gave Jaiden a look of my own. If he wasn't going to tell him, I was.) That is if you consider kicking ass an art form.. (Maybe I wasn't so good at ice breakers either. Being met with utter silence was clue number one. Not even crickets as the four of us stood there as if we were in a stalemate. Only I wasn't going to allow that.) Would you guys like to join us for a game? Or maybe you two would like to play your own? Oh I know, teams!

Camryn:

{smiles brightly at Rainey when she addresses me. Then squeezes Jaiden’s arm at the mention of his being a boxer. Should I point out the obvious to Chris that they had something in common? That could be good? Or maybe very bad… Before I made up my mind, the silence was broken again, and I jumped on it} Yes! Chris! We would love to. {nods}

Jaiden:

<Fantastic. Can't wait. Those were just a couple of options for answers to that ever popular question my sister asked and as I felt you give my arm a second squeeze, your brother's gaze sizing me up once again caught my attention after Rainey had let the cat out of the bag.> I do good for being fairly new to the sport. I get by. <Giving another nod of my head, I wink and start to walk with you as Rainey leads the way, speaking loud enough for Chris to hear me.> So you want to play against me, Cammy or with me? I could show you a few things too.

Chris:

[Boxing. So, he wasn’t a clown in her business. He was one that dabbled in mine. Now I was assessing him in a whole new light. Cammy was in for an earful on the way home. I’d seen how fucking cocky some of those guys could be… “I do good for being fairly new to the sport.” Cue my brows shooting up again. Maybe not too cocky… “I could show you a few things too.” Nope. There it was. I opened my mouth to bite back on that bullshit only to have Cammy fucking kick me. I let out a grunt and glared at her as she shook her head at me. It was clear I wasn’t getting her away from him tonight. So now, I needed to make the best of it. With a smirk, I spoke up again, bruised shin be damned] Cammy doesn’t need to learn anything new. And the Adams are better as a team.

Rainey:

Family first always. You guys like pepperoni pizza? We have plenty! (Yep. Making lemonade shouldn't be too hard with the lemons this bunch was carrying. Trying to make light of the tension that seemed to shift into second gear and right on into third when I reached our lane, I didn't even look in the direction of the guy from earlier as we passed him. Opting to stop at our scorecard to enter in your names instead as I see Jaiden assist Cammy with finding her ball.) Chris (Lifting my gaze to yours, I smile, before continuing on.) With a "C" or "K"?

Chris:

[Clearly I was speaking French. And this guy wasn’t the least bit deterred by me. As I watched the two of them picking out balls, I was redirected by my name being called. My gaze catching with @ALoverOfDreams’ and grinning crookedly at that smile. disappointment, but did my best to hide it]

Rainey:

That's right. Like the rain but with an EY at the end. (Don't ramble. Don't you do it! Telling myself that should have worked but I wasn't so sure it was going to. Not when I saw that crooked grin of yours.) It's okay, they seem distracted. (Taking your hand when you offered it right away, I gave it a light squeeze, my smile growing kinder by the second. That was until I followed your slight change in direction with your eyes down to our clasped hands. Oh no! How was I going to explain this? And even better, the follow up question to that, was were you going to believe me?) Fred from Kentucky.. (That questioning brow lift you gave had me laughing nervously as I started to explain it, still holding your hand until I realized it and I let your hand slip free suddenly. The game hot potato had nothing on me.) My fake husband. I use the ring to keep creepers away. Like the guy we walked by? (Fighting the internal groan won out over hiding the heat that seemed to rise on my cheeks at how close you were and I broke my gaze away from yours so I could finish putting your names in.) Do you guys bowl a lot? I don't think I've seen you here before.

Chris:

[Fred. From Kentucky. At first, I thought you were trying to tell me you were in a long distance marriage. But then the pieces of the puzzle started to fall together. And oddly enough, when you mentioned a creeper, I felt that same protective instinct I had a few minutes ago bubbling up again. But this time it was about you and not her. Apparently he had felt the weight of my stare. Because he looked over just in time to lock eyes with me in a stare down I wasn’t going to lose. And I smirked when he were out of my mouth] I wonder if I could convince Cammy to get a Fred from Kentucky… [just as quickly as I said it, I realized that was probably offensive to you seeing as how the current dude was your brother. And I mumbled out.] Sorry… [looks up at the screen where our names finally popped up, welcoming the chance to ignore my little outburst] We used to bowl a lot with our pops. He was on a league. But after ma passed, he became a bit of a hermit. [jerks my thumb over my shoulder in Cammy’s direction] She’s been in a funk lately. So I thought I’d pull her away from the Netflix and out into society again that doesn’t involve the shitheads that she dances with.

Rainey:

Oh, I don't know about that. Fred is a good man, he works hard for his family. A very upstanding and loyal guy too. I wouldn't have married him if he was a cheater. (Teasing a little, I gave your arm a soft nudge but only after spying your stare down that bounced between Jaiden and Mr. Creepy, himself. Waiting until your gaze finally met mine again and I nodded softly as I spoke.) You two have more in common than you think. Jaiden is just as protective of me as you are of her. (My voice took on a softer tone then but didn't lack in conviction as I spoke about my brother. He was the only family I had left. I loved him.) I know you just met me...us really but Jaiden is a good guy, he just has some issues sometimes controlling himself when people are assholes too. (Taking a moment, I looked behind you to see them standing there a ways back, bowling balls in hand and lost in their own conversation. My smile widening further when they start to make their way back over to us and I'm quick with my own curiosity taking center stage for a second as I added to the "story". Only this time, it included you..) So was your wife busy tonight too?

Chris:

[I wanted to take you at your word about Jaiden. But it wasn’t that simple for me. I’d seen her go through too much shit with her overly trusting heart. What if he had a hidden shitty guy side that you weren’t privy to as his sister? Still, I didn’t hate the protective side you hinted at. As long as his aggressions didn’t ever turn toward Cammy. The thought alone causing me to tense up for a second before blowing out a calming breath. Your question causing my eyes to snap back to you in utter shock] Me? Wife? [shakes my head with a chuckle] No. There is no Francesca from Kentucky. Real or fabricated.

Jaiden:

<There's a first time for everything right? As sayings went that one there was a great indication that I was pulling double duty, while trying to appear cool about it, and was failing miserably at that. It was the first time I not only had tried to keep my eyes on Rainey but then there was you, and that pull to let my gaze linger on your beautiful face was just too great.> I apologize. I don't normally leave her for this long. <And therein lies the dilemma. There was the asshole that was in here every time we were that constantly hit on my sister too that was a factor. So the protective streak kept hopping the rails like a train would, the direction it sought suddenly flipped like a switch and damn if that didn't make me feel exposed for all of 60 seconds too long. In fact, it put me downright on edge. I had a feeling you could sense it too because suddenly I was met with a pair of the kindest eyes I had ever seen and I braved that grin for you. Having found the right size ball, our trip back over to our lane was met with one last pitstop and that was to ask for a fresh pie and pitcher to be brought over, the clerk letting me know it would be on the house for the mix up anyway.> Be honest, are you any good? <Chuckling, I take the ball from you to carry as we head back that way. The sight of your brother sitting so close to Rainey causing me to pop my neck and grin over at you.> At the game. Any family secrets I should know about?

Camryn:

{I could sense the anxious energy rolling off of you. And after a few seconds of watching your eyes flick back over to your sister, I recognized that same brotherly protectiveness that Chris sported most of the time. Which honestly, made me like you even to her, but I knew if I were talking to Chris, that wouldn’t have comforted him either. So I stopped myself, instead just following your lead first to the snack bar and then back toward the lane} I used to be decent. {glances over at you with a smile} Our papa was on a league and he used to take us bowling a lot. But I haven’t been for a long time. So I might be a little rusty.

Jaiden:

Rusty or not, it's cool that your family use to bring you. Rainey and I went once before when we were kids but it wasn't until we left the system that our love for it really took off.<Too much, too soon? I didn't think so. The way I looked at it if you weren't interested after that then I knew where you stood. Something told me though that wouldn't be the case as I gazed into your eyes.> Does your Dad not bowl anymore? You said was.. <Which led me to believe something happened or he would have been here today. Still holding your gaze, I stopped just a few feet away from the lane. Close enough to hear your brother start to clear his throat and I motioned for you to go on.> He can wait.

Camryn:

{my curiosity was piqued by your statement. But then you were asking me about papa. And I didn’t know which way to go. With a laugh, I decided to tell you just that} First, I want you to know I’m very curious about your past now. {smiles} I hope you’ll share with me whenever you feel comfortable? And papa is still around. He just… {makes a face} I don’t know how to explain it. He’s different. After mama passed, he stopped leaving the house. We go over there a lot to make sure he’s okay. But he doesn’t like to come out, he stopped working on cars with Chris… It’s almost like he died in a way too. {sighs} I’m sorry. That’s super depressing.

Jaiden:

No, I'm sorry that happened with him. Sometimes things happen to people and they just don't come back the same. <My eyes flickered briefly over to Rainey as I said it, hearing her laugh at something your brother said and I offered you an apologetic look when I turned back, adding a crooked grin into the mix.> I am glad you told me for what it's worth. As for me, I'm an open book. You can ask me anything.

Camryn:

{laughs with a shake of my head} Oh, Jaiden. You shouldn’t have said that to me. Watch this… {pulls you over to where Chris and Rainey are sitting and taps Chris on the shoulder} Hey, Chris? What would you do if… {laughs hard and looks at you again when he groans instantly} See? I ask TOO many questions. And it annoys some people. {sticks my tongue out at Chris}

Jaiden:

Yeah but I'm not some people. I'm Jaiden. <Taking a moment to watch the exchange between you two, I chuckle and shake my head. There was no question you were siblings and as I looked over to Rainey, I kicked my chin up next, our secret signal as if to ask if everything was okay. When she gave me that kind smile of hers in return, I felt the tension leave my shoulders a bit and took a glance up at the scorecard, ready to start our game. As I looked up to see who was going first I see the name LOSER in the spot where mine normally went and my eyes narrowed playfully in my sister's direction.> Cute, Rainey. I'm on your team, remember?

Chris:

[“What would you do if…” Those words meant Cammy was about to unleash a million hypothetical questions on you. And I couldn’t help but groan the second I heard them. I didn’t even care that she was setting me up to prove something to Jaiden if it meant I didn’t actually have to go down that path. But it was my turn to laugh when I realized Rainey had put his name down as loser] I like the odds already. [shoots Rainey a wink]

Rainey:

(There was no Francesca. At least not from Kentucky and not real either. That meant no girlfriend and no wife. Suddenly, I found myself smiling wider at that little known fact now and started to say something moronic like, "That's really great!" when it hit me out of nowhere. Just because there was no Francesca didn't mean there wasn't the possibility of a Fred for you too. I felt silly then for my assumption at first, thinking I read your body language all wrong and was about to ask if there was a Fred instead when both of our teammates showed up. Our conversation cut short.) There you guys are! (It was then that I moved to sit on my knees and address them both, only to be reminded that it was moments ago that it had been just us planning to play, and not teams with new friends.) It was before I asked them. Give me a break. (My tone was teasing even when you give me that wink and I mouthed a quick "Sorry." to my brother. Our fresh pizza and Pepsi arriving then too.) I'm up first! (Gathering up my ball, I took to our lane after thanking the server for bringing our food, making sure Jaiden tipped before I moved to the middle diamond, marking my spot with the tip of my shoe, seeing my shot right as I take it and I come back after rolling a spare. Not bad! Now, it was game on.)

Camryn:

{rolls my eyes at my brother’s cheesy remark, grabbing a piece of pizza instantly. It was, after all, the thing that had convinced me to come in the first place, and taking a seat on one of the chairs off to the side of the lane as I watch Rainey take her for my overprotective brother}

Jaiden:

<I probably sat there and watched the whole thing unfold before me for a good ten minutes. Long enough for your brother to damn near trip over his tongue with the way it rolled out like some damn cartoon with wolf eyes. Only my sister wasn't Jessica Fucking Rabbit. It was payback for the way I had handed the pitcher over and seeing the both of them interact as they were, Rainey all smiles more so than normal, I had to wonder just exactly what your brother's story was, and yours too.> Is it good? The pizza? Best in all the state as far as bowling alley food goes. Not to mention, they serve Pepsi. Speaking of which, do you want? <Chuckling, I got up while you took a bite of pizza to grab us both a cup. The soft nod you gave me as you brought your hand up to cover your mouth was adorable and I poured us some of the tasty beverage, handing you the cup as our siblings became lost in their own conversation, with your brother finally getting up to take his shot when I clear my throat loudly as if to say some time today..> So I'm curious about something. What are you going to tell your boyfriend about me taking you out? <Sitting down beside you now, I ran my arm along the back of your chair, the action causing you to scoot in closer to my side and I take a drink, grinning over at you.>

Camryn:

{Mama always told me to take my time when I’m eating. Especially around boys. It’s not lady like to stuff your face like you haven’t eaten for a week. I never listened to mama. And this pizza was exactly what I wanted. So when you asked me if I wanted some Pepsi, all I could do was nod. Luckily I had managed to swallow and hadn’t taken a sip of my soda yet when you asked that. My eyes automatically darting to my brother because of how he’s covered for me in the past before returning to yours} There is no boyfriend to speak of. {smiles} What about your girlfriend. Will she be mad at me for sitting this close?

Jaiden:

No girlfriend. <I chuckled at your comeback. The assumption on both our parts turning up to be false and yeah, I was happy to hear that.> You know I had to ask with you being so beautiful and all. So what is it that you do? You working anywhere or go to school? <Taking another drink, I watched as you did the same, this unspoken conversation we were having with our eyes was just an added bonus when I bring my free hand up to tuck a loose strand of your hair behind your ear.> Your brother have a job? <I didn't see anything wrong with asking that. Doing a bit of recon work myself, I wanted to know what I had to look forward to in the likes of your brother suddenly hanging around too. I wasn't about to let anyone hurt Rainey.> He got a girl?

Camryn:

{takes my time with my next sip, only popping my brows in response first. If you spent any time around me, you would quickly recognize the tells that I was about to tease you} Hmm…were you thinking about asking him out too? {smiles wide at you. I knew what you were doing. And I didn’t blame you. But I had to tease. Had to. Finally letting a laugh out, I answered you} I am a Laker Girl. {smiles proudly} I’ve worked for it all my life. And my ex ALMOST screwed it up for me. But I made it. I also do a lot of acting and singing. I’m a born entertainer. I’m also in school. It’s one of the requirements actually. {nods seriously} As for Chris, he’s a photographer and does web design to pay the bills. So he lives on his computer. {leans to the side, placing my hand beside my mouth as I whisper} And he’s single. So you’re safe to make your move. {nudges you before busting into a fit of laughter}

Jaiden:

I don't know though.. What if I'm not his type? <Laughing this time, I had been busted before but not quite like that. You were smart, funny and hot. Did I really meet a Laker girl at the bowling alley? Could I be that lucky? You were definitely beautiful enough, that was a given but as I let my eyes wander down along your body, checking you out, even with you sitting I suddenly had visions of you in your uniform. Those routines at half time coming to mind then too and I quickly snap my gaze back up to yours before looking back at the scorecard, coming face to face with a shooting glare when I see that it was officially my turn.> Looks like I'm up. Hold that thought. I want to know more about this singing career of yours and your channel. <I hadn't forgotten about that part either. Grabbing up my ball, I killed what was left of my drink and set the cup down. Moving to take my position to serve you with a strike first thing. Setting the bar pretty high where my competitive nature was concerned.>

Camryn:

{I watched as a series of emotions seemed to play out across your face, relishing in the fact that you seemed to be just as animated as me without meaning too. Then follows your eyes to the scoreboard, nearly humphing that you had to leave, and watching maybe a little too closely as you took your turn. Jumping up and cheering for you when you roll that strike, causing Chris to remind me that you’re the opposition} What? It’s in my nature to cheer. Kind of. {offers him a shrug and laughs before turning back to you as you return to the sitting area}

Jaiden:

<And that's how it went. Every few minutes we would take our turns, keeping up with our separate conversations for the most part outside of the occasional trash talk we seemed to throw one another's way. It was all in good fun even as I moved to help you with your next turn. Not really caring to win one way or the other anymore, the more we chatted, my curiosity piqued.> When are you off? Or maybe I should ask when a good time is to take you out on this date of ours? <grins and grabs up another piece of pizza, offering it to you first.>

Camryn:

{mama’s words were playing out in my head again. “Don’t overeat. That’s not lady like either.” Reaching for the piece, I smiled at you} We practice a couple times a week. And, of course, I dance at all the home games. Other than that it’s kind of up in the air with my other projects. {laughs} But if you give me a date, I’ll make it work. {winks at you as I take a bite of that piece of pizza now}

Jaiden:

We will make it work. <I put emphasis on the "we" part and grinned, picking up another slice and digging into it. Thinking over the evening and what you said while I chewed, I waited until I finished my slice to ask my next question.> You think it would be okay if I came and checked out a home game? See you in action. <Grinning wider at the thought, I shrugged a shoulder as I got up to take my last turn, Rainey calling my attention to the scores. Yeah you didn't have the final say on who could attend but we both knew I would be going to see Then maybe I could escort you home. Unless you have other arrangements made? <Glancing your brother's way when I said that last part, I was waiting for my ball to come back to me on the return.> Does that sound like a plan?

Camryn:

{sits up straighter in my chair, the excitement clear on my face at your question as those butterflies filled my stomach. The idea of you watching me while I was out there would make my night. And I was ready to say yes before you jumped up and went to take your turn. You probably knew my answer anyway as I bobble headed along while you talked} I can get you really good seats too! One of the perks. {my smile dropping slightly} Sometimes I don’t get out of there until a little later though. Will that mess with your work? {tilts my head curiously} What do you do anyway?

Jaiden:

I take a couple of courses then I drive the delivery van for Rainey. Wherever she has a catering gig, I normally will hang out but the last one didn't go so well. <It wasn't really my story to tell, it was Rainey's and while I was okay with sharing anything and everything about myself, there were some things still private for her. Offering a small grin, I nodded impressed, the excitement clear as day on your face and I have a seat next to you to start changing back into my shoes so we can turn our bowling ones in.> I think congratulations are in order. You guys won. <I wasn't even sore about it. Granted, I wasn't sure how well I liked your brother getting all cozy with Rainey but I didn't have much room to talk, did I?> She's going to have her own commercial kitchen one day. That's her dream.

Camryn:

{I could feel the weight of Chris’ stare as we made our plans. But I ignored him. He was NOT going to have any say in this. I did shoot him a smirk though when you came and sat back down next to me so he couldn’t fully eavesdrop on what it was you did} I’m smile} And that you help support her dream. Maybe I could put a good word in with the team next time we need an event catered.

Jaiden:

You would do that for her? <My brows popped at the gesture, my grin widening further when you nod once again and I couldn't help but chuckle. The offer to put in a good word could do wonders for Rainey's business, really getting it off the ground more. The Lakers were nothing to snub your nose at either and the more I thought about it the more I realized just how life changing that could be for her. For us.> Only if you're sure but you know don't have to. I'm still taking you out regardless. <Winking, I gathered up my bowling shoes when you do, walking with you up to the front slowly on purpose to drag the night out, I didn't want it to end even though I knew it had to. It wasn't until we were all outside though, our siblings walking ahead that I slowed even more, turning to face you.> I'm going to call you tomorrow.

Camryn:

{If you were walking slowly on purpose I couldn’t tell. But I sure was. Thank goodness I let Chris talk me into coming tonight. This was way better than the promised pizza. My last thought causing me to let out a soft laugh at myself that probably confused you} Please do. {steps a little closer, leveling my gaze with yours} And like actually call tomorrow, yeah? None of that macho guy stuff where they make you wait a day to not seem too eager. Trust me, I’ve dated those guys and I’m not interested in more of that.

Jaiden:

<Keeping my gaze locked with yours, I let you finish, thinking there was no possible way I was waiting two days to call. Not after the night we had and as I reached out to stroke your reddened cheek, seeing that smile, I shook my head and leaned in, whispering against your ear when we reached your car, your brother having walked Rainey to ours across the parking lot.> You’ll be lucky if I’m not texting you before then. I’m not like other guys, Cammy. <Leaning up against your car with you now, I can’t help but grin then too, seeing that blush deepen across your face..> You’ll see first hand that I’m not. That’s a promise.

Camryn:

{I know I had just met you. But I already trusted you. I’m sure Chris wouldn’t be happy to hear that. But it was the truth. And I found myself chanting in my head, please don’t be too good to be true. Please don’t be too good to be true} I believe you. {playfully glares at you, the effect being lost as my blush betrays me} Don’t make me regret it. {That crooked grin had those butterflies kicking up again as I let out a shy laugh} And you can text me any time you want. I might even assign you your own special tone.

Jaiden:

No regrets. Not even a single letter. <Laughing, I cracked that joke, hoping like hell you've seen that movie when I stopped short, brows furrowing at first before I gave you that crooked grin again. That shy laugh I was sure was going to be my downfall but I was finding I didn't mind the more we spoke. I thoroughly enjoyed the night out bowling with you and went as far to tell you so before opening your car door and waiting for you to step inside. At that last minute however, I took hold of your hand and brought it to my lips, kissing across each knuckle as words left my lips, that grin still firmly in place.> I really had a great time. Text when you get home? <Even that was a date in itself if we thought about, a date I was looking forward to once I were settled for the night.>

Camryn:

{With that kiss to my hand, I was a goner. However this turned out, good or bad, I was in for the ride. Giving your hand a light squeeze as I finally settled into the seat, I smiled up at you} I will. I’ll pick out your special tone on the ride home. {offers you an exaggerated wink and a laugh}

Rainey:

I’m thinking beginner’s luck maybe? (How is it this easy to joke with you? I had been asking myself that all night and almost let the words slip out once or twice when the ice breaker effectively did its job. We had found ourselves in a rather comfortable position. Some mild jabs when it came to our turns during the game but the night had actually turned pleasant which I was grateful for with the addition of yourself and your sister to our little bowling league mix we had going on.) So no Francesca, huh. How is that possible? (A very bold or forward question coming from me. It was so unlike me to even... Oh. Realization hit like a ton of bricks then. Was it considered flirting? If it was, it was so apparent that I was bad at it and BOOM, hi there anxiety.) I'm glad I... mmmet you tonight. (Oh yeah. Yep. Still horrible at it. In fact, my nerves got the best of me and I had to pause so not to stumble over my words. And only when we reached my van, did I take a chance glance your sister’s way with Jaiden, making sure they were okay before I continued on around to the passenger side of my van with you, feeling completely safe in your presence while out of sight of Jaiden’s. Which was another first for me too.)

Chris:

[I didn’t know where the hell you came from. But I was thanking all the stars and gods that I had the idea to bring Cammy here today. Had I not, I wouldn’t have met you. Which is funny because before tonight, I was completely closed off to the idea of a relationship again after the dumpster fire that was my last. A few minutes with you and I was rethinking the whole thing. You were a total package from what I could tell. Funny, beautiful, a good sport. Hell, you even caused me to lay off of Cammy for the time being while she was clearly getting close to your brother. I couldn’t help the goofy grin that graced my face when you stumbled over your words for a second. Damn if that didn’t just make me like you even more} Honestly? {stops so that I’m standing directly in front of you as you lean back against that van door} I almost had a Francesca. And that was a mess. {rubs the back of my neck before giving a shrug} Kind of turned me off to relationships for a while. {smirks, the fact that I was being so quick to say certain things the exact way I always tell Cammy not to not lost on me as I reach to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear} I’m feeling a little more open to them again now though…

Rainey:

Now? As in right now... (I had zoned in on those eyes of yours first but then that goofy grin was next which only made me smile wider, effectively leaving my gaze to linger on your mouth. You were right there.. That strand of hair you tucked behind my ear fueled my desire to reach out but I stayed right there pressed up against the van. Reminding myself that this wasn't some steamy romance novel. At least not yet.) That's good.. I mean wait no, it's not good. I didn't mean it was good that Francesca hurt you. I would never. (Cue my blush again then, silly me making this more awkward for us both and oh hi anxiety thanks for rearing your ugly head again. Sighing softly, almost embarrassingly so, I give you a kind smile, trying to rein it all in when it felt like you stepped closer. And suddenly it felt really hot..)

Chris:

[Somehow you managed to get more desirable with every minute. And when you made that slip saying you wouldn’t? I grinned probably the most embarrassingly dumb grin I’ve ever grinned in my life. Figuring I might as well go for broke, I stepped a little closer, carefully assessing your face and body language for any resistance as I brought my hand up one more time, this time cupping your cheek as I shook my head} I wouldn’t either. {lets the words hang between us for a few seconds, carefully gauging your reaction for a couple more seconds before whispering] Please don’t slap me. [With that, I took the plunge, leaning in and placing a light kiss to your lips]

Jaiden:

Make it a good one. <That crooked grin wasn't leaving my lips anytime soon. Not when I kept seeing that excited smile grace yours and I reluctantly let your hand slip from my fingers when you finally had a seat in your car. Shutting your door for you, I waited until you rolled your window, giving you a wink first before I dipped my head inside and brushed my lips against your cheek.> Be safe, beautiful. <Righting myself and the world for that matter, I started walking backwards towards the direction of our van, keeping you in my sights for as long I groaned and waited for my sister to get inside. Knowing the drive home was going to met with an awkward as hell conversation.>

Rainey:

(Oh my God.. He was going to do it. One second, I was convincing myself I was never hearing from you again and the next, I was throwing all caution to the wind when your words grand slammed into my brain, finally registering. "Please don't slap me." I melted into a puddle right then and there, legs wobbling, the whole shebang! For that split second in time, I was the heroine of all my books. All those worlds I got lost in and even if it was the smallest of kisses, it meant everything in that moment. Only it wasn't a book I was reading, it was my life. It was ME you were kissing. Very lightly, I returned that kiss, lips slow dancing against yours and I brought my hand up to coax you closer by that soft grasp of your jaw. Completely lost in you until I heard the van door slam and I was catapulted back to my very real reality.) Call me.. (It was a simple request and when you nodded against my lips, ignoring my brother completely, I gave you one last kiss to remember me by.) Night.. (I tried opening my door from behind me, fumbling for the door handle before I finally got it open and I turned to hop inside, coming face to face with my own brother. Mouthing "Not a word!" as he started the van and put it in gear, his groan of disapproval, was laughable and I did just that quietly as we made our way home.) #Kismet #WFW #ForKeeps

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sometimesrosy · 4 years ago

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Rosy, did you watch Midsommar? I don't think it's the kind of movies you like, but I recommend the video "How Midsommar brainwashes you" that you can find on YouTube. Through that video I learned that there are many people who interpret that the story has a happy ending that represents an empowerment of the protagonist. However, when I watched the end what I saw is that this girl ends up being absorbed by the cult that provides her with a false sense of belonging to a "family". That's not a happy ending, even when we see the protagonist smile at the end. This reminded me of the interpretation of some viewers of The 100 who strangely considered that it was positive that the ideology of Cadogan's cult triumph, even though this implied that humanity has been engulfed and that the protagonist has murdered her emotions, because love is a weakness (physically and symbolically she murdered her own heart!!). And I remember recently someone I follow on Twitter said that when some fans say "Bellamy was right, they should have believed him", even though this part of the fandom hates the ending, what they're really doing is supporting a cult rhetoric motivated by the love we feel for this character.

Idk. The fact that there are people who think that endings like these are positive seems strange to me and scares me a bit. 😬

Anyway... I hope you're okay. I don't visit Tumblr much, but every time I do I come to your site. Lots of love! 💕

Hi! I’m still here, because I work on line and I’m always bopping in and out of tumblr, but I’m much less active. lol. I’m doing fine, ghostwriting romances and homeschooling and querying my sf novel. Just got a full request from an agent, so I’ve got my novel out and active in the world.

You are right. Midsommar is NOT my kind of movie because I don’t like horror, but I did just recommend it to my daughter how does like horror. I will also recommend to her the “How Midsommar brainwashes you,” vid. That actually sounds like something that would work for homeschool, because it’s about media and propaganda, and we read The Hunger Games and A Wrinkle in Time for that matter. (we all decided that AWIT was too young and simplistic for us, but the whole conformity of IT would fit with the brainwashing.)

But what you talk about? With people thinking that’s a happy ending? And with the way they start AGREEING with Cadogan’s cult? Yeah. So the scariest part is that that is happening with real life with the far right, rapture loving, ‘traditional values,’ trump idolizing, fake christians. And that’s one of the reasons the ending of The 100 horrified me so much was that it was replicating the real world conservative cultist ideology (which is the OPPOSITE of the message of the previous 6 years of The 100.) I find the coincidence far too convenient, so now I do not trust The CW (because this didn’t just happen on The 100 but on other shows too,) and tend to think of JR as a collaborator now.

Propaganda is real. And it’s most effective when it manipulates our emotions, strong love or fear makes it more effective. The media we love is not immune to propaganda. And WHO is in charge, whether publicly or behind the curtains, is going to affect whether or not our stories are propaganda and what the messages conveyed are.

I haven’t seen Midsommar, so of course I can’t analyze it, but it sounds to me like they are illustrating this kind of culty story, and some people are so open to the brainwashing, they now think this is correct and good and a happy ending. I believe something similar happened in Fight Club I think? Where it was a statement about a dangerous mindset, and a large portion of the audience just dove right in to the dangerous mindset and thought it was shown as ideal. (It’s been a while since I’ve seen Fight Club, but I think.)

Anyway, it’s so important to have media literacy, so whoever is telling the stories can’t manipulate your thoughts and actions. But you know. Somehow, COINCIDENTALLY, education has moved away from teaching kids to think to teaching them to pass high stakes state exams. (I lie. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.)

#propaganda #media literacy #cult brainwashing #midsommar #the 100

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seizethesam · 5 years ago

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Ode to an Angel-Chapter 2

Summary: You had been alone in this apocalyptic world since you got seperated from your old group and lost your brother. You were on your way to an old metal factory in the hopes of finding your former group when a herd of walkers dragged you in to the woods. You took refuge in a hut, where you met him. You have got a long road ahead and some reckoning to do. (Set in the end of season 2)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

A/N: Ahh... the second chapter is here... Thank you for your likes and reblogs for the first chapter. This is my first time writing Daryl, and I’m a nervous wreck, I don’t know if I’m doing this right ahaha! This chapter reveals more about the reader and her past! I can’t wait to dive deeper into this journey. Feedback is always appreciated. Please let me know what you like or don’t like about the story.

This chapter’s recommended song is “Because We Have To” by Low Roar.

Spotify Youtube

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 2

Then…

At this point you didn’t even know who to trust, this man could even lead you into a trap for that matter. But you knew that the factory would be somewhere near the area he was showing you.

“Thank you,” you said turning your head to face him.

He got up from his knees as he let out a humming sound as a response.

“Ya gonna need more than just two bullets if ya gonna take tha’ route,” he said putting your gun and knife back on the table and left the cottage, closing the door behind him.

Now…

The time had seemed to come and pass. There was a full moon when you had found the old metal factory, and you haven't seen another since then, which told you that it hadn't been a whole month since the factory.

It was a total failure. There were just dead workers walking around. There was nothing, no sign of settlement, no one… your chances of finding your former group were getting low.

You had checked half of the areas that you thought were their kind of places; remote, large, and safe. You didn't know where else to go anymore. They could even be dead by now. But if there were no place to look for, then you were going to look for them. You owed it to your brother.

However, you did not have the energy anymore, being on the road— on foot, was taking all the power you had in you. It could have been weeks since you’ve ended up alone, wandering around to find a bunch of people...

Moreover, you would most definitely be dead by now if it wasn’t for the man with the crossbow. Yes… a couple of weeks ago when you thought that he was taking half your food, he was actually leaving two of the canned food and an additional bottle of water for you. He did not say anything about it, you didn't know why he did it. He just helped you.

You remembered him looking at you before fumbling with his bag.

When you’d checked the drawers again before leaving the cottage, you’d spotted the mushroom soups and the bottle of water. Maybe he looked at you and saw no threat, just a broken girl. He could’ve easily pitied you.

It’d been two days since your food ran out and the boiled dirty water in your canteen was almost finished. You’d avoided eating frogs or snakes since then, but you were starving. It seemed like your belly was sticking to your spine and your lips were cracked from dehydration.

You were walking through the woods, trying to find the highway, then maybe a car to spend the night. The sun was high up in the sky, the Georgian summer heat working against you, your whole body was covered in sweat. The humidity was making it almost impossible to breath.

You could not bring yourself to lift your feet fully to take a step. At this point, you were just dragging them to keep you standing. When you couldn’t keep on going, you sat next to a large tree, laid your back against its trunk, and closed your eyes.

You were all gathered around the fire. The military camp that you took refuge had been bombed a week ago and you were on the run with your little group and your brother. Neither you nor your brother liked to be around people like them; selfish, loathing, and vulgar.

“More people mean better chance at surviving,” he told you, “We just have to put up with them.” You two moved away from the fire to come near the truck.

“I don’t trust them,” you said pointing your chin towards the group of four.

“I know, me neither…” he reassured you, “we need to stick with them ‘till we’re out of the city,” said he.

When the outbreak happened, you and your brother hit the road for the military camp. They said that it was a safe haven for all people, and it really was— until the government bombed the whole place down. You’d managed to get out with a small group of people. You were with them ever since.

“Okay, but I don’t know how long I can keep up with that asshole’s bullshit,” you said turning your head to the brunette man sitting beside the fire. He was just a few years older than your brother. He had good survivalist skills, but he was a total self-absorbed asshat, who kept ordering people around like he was the one in charge.

“You will have to try, sis, just a little while longer, ” your brother said as he wrapped his strong arms around your shoulders.

You reluctantly opened your eyes. Resting for a few minutes did good for your body. You reached for your canteen to take sip from your little remaining water, wanting to boost your energy just a little more to keep going. As the warm water washed down your throat, you found yourself wanting more but you refused to drink any more.

As you tried to get up from the forest floor and reached to support yourself, your hand connected with something slightly colder and moist. You turned your gaze towards the object and saw a large beige colored mushroom.

You once ate a mushroom that looked just like this one, so you assumed that it was not poisonous. Even if it were, you were too hungry to think on it.

“Hello dinner,” you said smiling to yourself as you reached for the wild plant.

You broke the mushroom from its root with a swift motion. You did not want to waste your matches for cooking. You mostly used the matches to start a fire to boil the dirty puddle water. You blew air onto the large plant to get rid of the excess dirt and soil.

You started to eat with such hunger that the mushroom was gone within minutes. You were far from being full, but it was going to have to do.

You got up from the ground after eating the whole thing. You needed to move forward. The highway was only couple of hours away and you had plenty of time to get there before the sunset.

To your surprise, you did not come across that many of the dead throughout the day. There were couple of stray ones here and there. You didn't even bother to kill them. To be honest, you were still scared to get close. You did not interact with them unless you had to.

After a while of walking, you needed to stop as your stomach started to feel funny. You felt a sudden urge to throw up, but it didn’t happen. You were having hard time figuring out where to step as the trees were all in motion, their branches intentionally blocking your way. You continued walking, but you fell a moment later when the forest floor beneath you began to move. Mushroom…

A second later, a piercing pain shoot through the left side of your waist, a warm red liquid spreading around a spot, marking the fabric of your top. You had just realized that you’d fallen over a piece of wood.

You sat on your knees and removed the piece of wood with a groan. You successfully got up despite the mobile ground and the biting pain on your abdomen.

When you were fully standing you untied your shirt around your waist and pressed it to your wound with one hand. Beads of sweat were crawling down your temples to your chin. Just as you were about to move your feet, you recognized a figure standing in front of you.

It was a male figure, slightly taller than you, broad shoulders, dark greasy hair…

“What the hell are you doing here?” The figure talked. His voice was very familiar.

“What?” that was all you could say, you were in utter shock that the man appeared out of nowhere.

“It isn’t worth it, (Y/N),” now that the he’d talked again, you finally figured out who the figure was.

“Matt?” It was your brother. Your chin trembled as you spoke his name. This wasn’t real. No, it was not.

“What you’re doing…isn’t worth it.” He repeated.

“Yes—yes, it is…” you said. Your voice was hoarse because of the lump in your throat. Tears were threatening to spill.

“Stop chasing something you’re not supposed to, sis,” he spoke so tenderly. You felt a pang of grief inside your chest. Well… at this point your heart was taken out of your chest and was squeezed in someone’s hands. That was what it felt like.

“They killed you—,” your sentenced was cut when he spoke, “It doesn’t matter what they did to me. Be smart,” he urged you, his sharp gaze was piercing through you.

“Matt…” you were going to argue but in the blink of an eye, the figure disappeared. “Matthew!” You shouted after him, but he was long gone, and it wasn’t meant to last. You knew that it was the mushroom. You ran after him anyway, not bothering the pain, but your legs failed to carry your weight as you fell flat o your face.

Dehydration, starvation, and exhaustion all together had tired you. The poisonous mushroom and the blood loss did no good on top of all. The dizziness was unbearable now. Your stomach ached like someone had punched you with full force.

Sleep and it will be all over. A voice inside your head snapped. You struggled to get up, but your surroundings went dark and the last thing you saw was the dying sun on the Georgia horizon.

Your eyes fluttered open just a little as you feel yourself moving. But no, you were not laying on the rough forest ground. Instead, you were being carried. A moment later, your eyes closed again, not allowing you to identify the person carrying you.

Muffled voices raised around you; they were two men; you could tell that one of them was old.

“…your responsibility.” The older voice said.

Your mind immediately went to the sharp pain on your abdomen. You frowned at the aching pain as you opened your eyes.

“Hey, she’s waking up,” the younger man said. He looked like he was in his thirties and had dark wavy hair that he had swept back. His sounded cautious. Next to him was the older man.

“Where the hell am I?” You asked the older them; your voice was croaky from sleep.

“Good morning, my name is Hershel.” The man talked, he was much older than the other man, his hair was whiter than the snow. You did not know these people. The last thing you remembered was the sunset, the pain and a person carrying you in the dark. Maybe you did find what you were looking for all this time. But you had to be smart.

***

Chapter 3

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon icons #the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #rick grimes #daryl dixon series

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depressedoverdrawings · 5 years ago

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Can you hear the tumult of our youth?

KazeKi is the first romance I’ve ever enjoyed, or rather, that I emotionally connected with, as “enjoy” is a funny word choice for a work that made me feel so miserable. Personally, I’ve never enjoyed media that focuses on relationships and love, were they movies, TV, or literature.

But after I discovered KazeKi, I found myself drawn to it, almost involuntarily so. It was as if a spell had been cast. I suppose what superficially drew me in, at first, was the art. It had the charm of retro manga (I absolutely love retro manga/anime looks, IMO they have so much more character than most modern anime and manga), the nostalgic elegance of the idealized upper-class XIX century, and the unrelenting beauty and cuteness of all the boys.

It was mildly surreal and highly entertaining to witness the seed of so many shounen-ai visual tropes: The flower motifs, the flowery poetry, the impossibly pretty boys in dramatic embraces and breathy kisses, the aggressive frenchness of it all. Even it was shocking to me how these elements, instead of striking me as the tired, sappy tropes I saw them as, were now all genuine and beautiful, somehow. Even those silly sparkles around pretty boys seemed fitting. I realized these weren’t tropes back then, but elements of a sincere artistc vision. However, while the art was mesmerizing to me, I came to realize that what drew me in deeper, and kept me anchored to KazeKi, were the themes explored, and the character-based drama, the very stuff I had always avoided.

Without getting far too personal about it, Kaze to Ki no Uta was the first romance that struck something within me, somewhere personal. Now, I certainly have never faced trauma and pain anywhere near to what poor Gilbert and Serge face in their absurdly depressing story, but I definitely wouldn’t call myself emotionally and sexually resolved and healthy, and once upon a time I was a closeted boy in a catholic school, so I guess there’s space for a little bit of self-identification. My coping mechanism to my personal woes had always been to just bottle them up and distract myself with entertainment and art. And that was exactly what I was doing, browsing music on YouTube, when I stumbled upon the KazeKi OVA’s soundtrack.

I found myself listening to this gorgeous arrangement of a Chopin piece, and thought to myself, staring at the angelic figure looking back at me, across the screen: “Gee whilikers, that’s sure is a pretty drawing of a pretty girl”. Then, after reading the comments, I found out that was a boy. As much as the “draw a girl, call it a boy” school of drawing pretty boys makes me groan, I could still feel it, that first hook of interest, stabbing me. As the slideshow enticed me with pictures of Keiko Takemiya’s gorgeous art, I found myself enamoured by it. It was a particular drawing that made KazeKi finally snatch me: that same boy, lounging angelically on some sort of abstract architectural design; in the background, a neoclassical vase flanked by two neoclassical girls, and, above and below, this stunningly beautiful vegetation. So much care, skill, and good taste, concentrated in just one image! I’d have it as a poster, if I could. So, I googled “Kaze to Ki no Uta”, unwittingly throwing myself in a rabbit hole I could not have prepared myself for. Trying to read it was in itself a journey, but, to sum it up: I managed to read it about as well as one can, if they don’t speak japanese and have no access to the spanish and italian translations.

It had been years since I had started feeling emotionally numb. My most extreme displays of emotion came in the form of quiet, teary eyes, reserved for those rare, impactful pieces of art, and those rarer moments of despair-inducing introspection that I couldn’t manage to suppress, but even those lasted little, as I fought to recover my composure. By the end of Kaze to Ki no Uta, I was a sobbing wreck, doing my best (and failing) to contain my ugly crying. Ugly crying, for god’s sake. I was ugly crying, actually sobbing like a kid, because of an yaoi manga. Crying in the shower, even! What kind of weeb had I degenerated into? It hurt. It deeply hurt, in a way I hadn’t been made to hurt in a long, long while. KazeKi had impacted me to the point that I wasn’t just sad, I was scared too, as the waterfall of emotion opened the path for that deeper, personal darkness to come out. And it did.

Now, I admit I’d been a little bit more emotionally fragile than usual right before I read it, due to the effects of the quarantine and the previous consumption of a highly depressing piece of media: Les Amitiés Particulières, which is probably even more depressing than KazeKi as it deals with a much more grounded homophobia-induced tragedy based in real life. Somehow, it didn’t impact me as much as KazeKi, however. Also, it was definitely what influenced my personal YouTube algorithm to recommend me the KazeKi soundtrack, so I wouldn’t know of KazeKi if it weren’t for Amitiés. But even then, it felt unnatural to, well, feel so much. I hadn’t felt this invested in and attached to fictional characters ever since I was a little kid, too young to realize those people in the TV weren’t real. In the following couple of weeks, I was crying over these boys, spending whole days feeling like trash, feeling mild anxiety spikes whenever I remembered about KazeKi, having (even more) difficulty falling asleep, and utterly failing to avoid thinking about my deep-seated intimate issues, all because of these dumb, pretty anime boys. Not even my trusty prayer of “they’re not real people, stop being stupid” worked. In an attempt to stop wallowing in this shounen-ai hell, I decided to consume a whole lot of escapist media while I deliberately avoided any activity related to KazeKi, be it reading the manga, listening to the OVA’s soundtrack, looking at fanart, or even just thinking about it. It “worked” for a month or so, but now I’m back here, wallowing in KazeKi’s painful beauty again, stalking the other seven people in the western world that seem to care about KazeKi, and distilling my thoughts in this bizarre textwall, in an attempt to work it out. If you’re one of those seven people, please don’t refrain from talking to me, if you feel like it! I’ve had just one opportunity to have a conversation about KazeKi, and it was in YouTube comments, for heaven’s sake. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m this afflicted by KazeKi due to its unrelenting, merciless, cruel beauty. Everything about it is presented in this assembly of pure beauty and lost perfection, this painful nostalgia that is present in its aesthetics of an idealized Europe which lives only in its surviving art, that is present in the story which ultimately tells us of the loss of love, and is present in the fact that the whole story is a broken man’s reverie about the past. Tragedy might make me sad, but tragedy with beauty will destroy me. Bittersweetness is just so more cruel than bitterness. And it was this masterpiece of sadistic bittersweetness that permanently broke something in how I deal with my emotions. Kaze to Ki no Uta touched me deeply, to the point of leaving a permanent impression, I’m afraid. I can count in one hand the pieces of art that have punched my soul in the face like KazeKi did. I am honestly flabbergasted over the effect it had over me. At first I felt embarrassed over being emotionally obliterated by a freaking shounen-ai, but I’ve since come to the conclusion that KazeKi is a work of art, a genuine, sincere work of art, deserving of the title. Now I just hope I’m not alone in being emotionally obliterated by this freaking shounen-ai. After everything they went through, the personal fights, the shaky development of their relationship, the undeserved ostracism at Lacombrade, Auguste’s demonic persecution, the escape; how could it be that Gilbert’s life would end in such a horrible way, and that Serge would be left alone to face the full, unbearable weight of his grief! Why?! Keiko Takemiya, you’re a vile sadist. You’re a genius, too, of course. But you’re a vile sadist.

I knew that a happy ending wasn’t going to happen. The horrible ending was a pretty early spoiler, really. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t stop myself from reading on anyway, and I couldn’t stop myself from having an inkling of illogical hope. Even if my logical self knew a happy ending wasn’t gonna happen, it couldn’t prepare me for just how tragically their love would end, and how awful it all would feel, once I knew their full story.

It’s all the more bitter because of how close Serge came to saving him, too. Having escaped together to a place where they could’ve built the nearest thing to a normal life a gay couple could have, back then. But in the end, not even Serge’s love could mend Gilbert’s mutilated soul. Those boys deserved so much better, especially Serge. Serge, you sweet angel! You were created to suffer.

KazeKi really is a masterpiece in how it explores its extremely heavy themes and the minds of its characters, and how it flawlessly meshes that with perfect art. There are many moments in KazeKi that haunt me: Serge letting that bird go, Serge’s vision of Gilbert at the Lacombrade grounds, Gilbert running into the carriage, angel wings behind him; Serge laying alone on the bed in Room 17. I cannot look at those pages without tearing up and feeling this horrible feeling in my heart, and this feeling is literal: My heart actually feels heavy and constricted when I think about it, it can’t be healthy. Up until now, I thought “cri evrytiem” was just a meme. KazeKi has woken me up to the fact that bottling up one’s own personal issues will inevitably end with them exploding out, leading to something much, much worse. I am scared by the prospect of facing my personal issues. To me, they are horribly strong, and seem incredibly hard to solve, if they’re even solvable at all. I’m horrified by the prospect of facing them, working to solve them. I’m so scared, that simply thinking about it, right now, gives me this awful weight in my chest, and makes me want to cry, again. But I know now that I have no choice in this matter, as the only alternative is that abyss I dare not speak of, and one cannot return from. Melodramatic? Yes. But I did just read Kaze to Ki no Uta.

Thank you for getting this far, whoever you are.

I’m forever haunted by Serge’s words to his long-gone Gilbert, right at the beginning:

“Gilbert Cocteau, you were the greatest flower to ever bloom in my life. In the faraway dreams of youth, you were a bright red flame, blazing so fiercely… You were the wind that stirred my branches. Can you hear the poem of the wind and trees? Can you hear the tumult of our youth? Oh, there must be others who so remember their own days of youth…”

#kaze to ki no uta #the poem of the wind and trees #rant #shounen ai

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xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx · 5 years ago

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Dared - Mikey Way x Reader

Request: Hey, could I request uhh Mikey x reader, the reader is dared by Gerard to make Mr Emotionless ™ cry? Go crazy author-chan I have a feeling this is gonna be hilarious Word count: 2 690 A/N: don’t even ask me about when on the timeline this one is… “Remember the laughter” exists, they are on a tour and none of the guys (except maybe ray?) are together with their wives? (what a cruel world that is)

“No!”

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun,” Gerard whined laughing.

“Making Mikey cry is not fun,” you argued, “it’s just evil!”

“Nobody said it has to be sad crying,” Gerard replied, still convinced it would be incredibly funny to see you try to make his brother cry.

“Why, Gee, why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s about time Mikey remembers he has emotions for once, also,” lifting his eyebrows at you, he grinned, “it would give you the opportunity to spend some time with him.”

Rolling your eyes, you glanced over at Gerard. He was the only one who knew about your feelings for Mikey, and you really regretted telling him, because he teased you about it every time he possibly could.

“You just want to annoy your brother,” you shrugged, and got ready to turn away.

“Come on, (y/n), I dare you!”

“I said no,” you replied, admittedly pissed off by now, and walked away, leaving Gerard alone.

He just laughed, knowing you would try to win this dare anyway.

And he was right. Even though you knew Gerard knew you would try, you could not quite let go of the idea. So you made up your mind about different things that made you cry. Sometimes you cried over sugar-sweet cat videos, or one of these animal rescue videos. You wailed over dramatic, or happy romantic dramas, you cried about music that made you emotional, you even teared up over reports of nature catastrophes. Thinking about it, you actually cried a lot. And that list did not yet involve all the times you cried about missing your family while you were on tour, or the heartbreak over Mikey.

You knew that the news reports about the catastrophes would not help with your plan. Just a few weeks ago you had all watched the news together, and there had been a report about the fires in Australia, but while you had been fighting back tears (had you been worried for the humans, the koalas, the nature in general, or about how the annual fires were getting so much worse every year because of the climate change?) Mikey had just watched unimpressed, his fingers fiddling around, as if he was trying to remember songs he usually played on the bass. You remembered that so vividly because you had been distracted from the news by it, and had watched him for a while; he had beautiful hands.

The next thing you thought of was music. You knew Mikey loved music, after all he was making music himself. You even knew what kind of music he loved, but you didn’t know what kind of music made him especially emotional. So you began with what you knew, and that was what he liked, and what made you emotional. And that landed you at one song Ray had written; the last song of his solo album. Sure you felt weird as you walked up to Mikey’s bunk bed, with your mobile in hand, asking if he knew that album made by one of his closest friends of over a decade, but you did it anyway.

Mikey was even happy to see you, and immediately scooted aside to let you crawl into bed next to him. That alone made butterflies flutter in your stomach, but between the two of you it had always been a normal thing to cuddle up sometimes, be it to watch a movie on the Ways’ couch or because one of you had had a nightmare. While you played the song for him, trying not to give into your own emotions, you watched him closely. His eyes were focused on the still image of the video on YouTube, and his hand, which was resting on his stomach, was slowly tapping along the rhythm. When the song eventually ended, he smiled slightly, his eyes soft, and turned to look at you. Quickly you blinked away the tears at the corner of your eyes.

“I really like this song,” he told you, and sat up a little, “it’s one of my favourites off Ray’s album.”

“Yeah, definitely,” you agreed with a little nod.

“Oh, is that a cat video?”

Mikey placed his hand over yours, which was holding the phone, and angled the screen so he could see better which videos had been recommended by YouTube to watch next.

“Yeah, it is,” you agreed, remembering that cute cat videos were also on your list of things that made you cry, “wanna watch it?”

“Always,” Mikey grinned.

He scooted around in the narrow bed of the tour bus, until he asked you to lift your head so he could place his arm under your neck. After you had settled back down, with far too fast beating heart, snuggled close against Mikey, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, you continued watching animal videos.

Sometimes you both laughed so hard you almost ran out of breath, sometimes there were so cute videos that you almost cried yourself (Mikey showed no reaction at all), there were videos where you just rolled your eyes, trying not to laugh because it was too ridiculous, and you even watched some of the animal rescue videos that usually reduced you to a puddle of tears, but Mikey just watched. Yeah, sometimes he laughed if something was funny, but he was never even close to tears.

The next evening was movie night, where you saw your last chance to make Mikey cry. After that you would have run out of ideas, and you would have to admit Gerard had won this dare. Luckily it was your turn to choose the movie, so you chose the most emotional movie you could think of, one that always made you cry. Much to your surprise Gerard, Ray and Frank were not opposing the choice, and Mikey did not care. He claimed he was fine just hanging out with everyone. You tried to find a place away from Mikey, because the movie was very romantic, and watching a romantic movie sitting too close to the man you had been in love with for ages was surely no good idea, but somehow Mikey had found a way to squeeze himself into the tiny gap that was left between you and Frank, and now sat pressed against your side, watching the movie, his arm casually dragged over your shoulder, as if it was nothing. Maybe to him it was nothing, not to you.

Throughout the movie you noticed that you were not the only one who was getting emotional about the story. Gerard quietly sniffled at the sad and romantic parts, and Frank even went to grab a handkerchief to blow his nose; Ray just wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. The only one who seemed not to care at all was Mikey, who simply got up once the movie was over.

“Good story,” he commented and stretched his hands above his head. Did he even have the faintest idea what that shirt riding up a little over his stomach, revealing a tiny strip of pale skin, did to you? Hopefully not. “I’m gonna go read in my bunk.”

Slowly the group dispersed, leaving only Frank and you in the end.

“Wanna go for a walk,” the guitarist eventually asked, “I need some fresh air.”

You nodded, and got up. Together you grabbed your jackets, and climbed out of the bus. The parking lot you were standing on was empty; a few frozen over puddles were glistering in the cold moon light.

Frank and you walked side by side, quietly talking. He told you about his girlfriend Jamia. You had known he had liked her, but he had kept it a secret from everyone that they were together. Now he was worried about how tour would affect their relationship, and as well as you knew Frank, you would not have imagined him to be so scared about messing this up.

“But did she say she doesn’t want you to go on tour,” you asked, trying to be rational.

“She said she’s going to miss me,” Frank recalled, wiping his eyes, “and that she wished she could come and visit.”

“See, but not that she doesn’t want you to go, right?”

Frank shook his head no. “But what if she thinks that she implied enough for me to-“

“Then call her!”

By now you had made your way back to the bus.

“You are amazing,” Frank smiled sadly. He seemed not convinced yet, but he agreed it would be best to call Jamia.

“Don’t worry, it’s all gonna be alright,” you encouraged him.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” you grinned and wrapped your arms around him.

Just in that moment you heard a quiet gasp, and when you pulled away from Frank, you saw Mikey was standing in the open door to the bus.

“Gerard made hot chocolate for everyone,” he spit, his eyes full of anger and disappointment.

But instead of turning around and walking back in, as he should have, considering his brother had made hot chocolate, he jumped down the stairs, and brushed past you, disappearing in the night.

“What-“ confused you looked after him.

“Oh shit,” Frank ran his hand over his face.

“What was that,” you asked, turning to Frank.

“He thought I was hitting on you,” he groaned.

“But you and Jamia-“

“He doesn’t know that, remember,” Frank looked up at you, “you should go after him.”

“Why would- what would he- what’s even going on?”

“Just go after him, alright? Tell him that we’re just friends, put things right- whatever, just go look for him.”

You did not even wait for Frank to say anything else, you just darted after Mikey, following him into the direction he had run of to.

Luckily you did not have to search for long. Mikey had only worn socks and his pyjama, so the stony and cold parking lot had slowed him down soon, and you found him leaning against a lamppost. His back was turned to you, his hands lifted to his face, and he was panting.

“Mikey?”

A few feet away you came to a stop. Your lungs were burning from inhaling the cold air so fast, and panic rose in your chest at seeing Mikey standing there, clearly upset.

“Leave me alone,” he sounded chocked up.

“Not before you talk to me, what’s going on?”

“Why don’t you ask your sweet darling Frank that?”

Mikey swirled around, and stared at you angrily. His raised voice was intimidating, but the tears that were running down his cheeks broke your heart.

“What are you even talking about? Frank-“

“Frank knows exactly how I feel for you, he knows exactly that I’ve been trying to ask you out since forever, and then he goes and steals you away right in front of my eyes, without giving me a heads up about it first. You know, he could at least have had the decency to let me know he was gonna try to win you for himself. That would have sucked too, but at least it would have been honest!”

Confused you stared at Mikey. “Frank and I-“

“It’s okay, just- give me some space, okay? It’s not your fault, he’s a great guy, he’ll treat you very good,” Mikey assured you, before turning away from you.

“Would you just listen for one fucking second,” now it was you who was angry. You were not sure if you had heard correctly when Mikey had said he had feelings for you, but for now it seemed like the bigger problem was that he assumed you and Frank were a thing. And that he did not even give you time to explain made you angry. Quickly you took a few steps forwards and grabbed him by the elbow, turning him back to you.

“Frank is worried about his girlfriend Jamia, not wanting him to be on tour for so long, and I told him to call her. He thanked me, and said that he loves me. As a friend.”

Mikey looked at you for a while. The orange light of the street lantern painted his tears as drops of sunlight on his cheeks. You could feel him move slightly underneath his pyjama shirt, which you still held in a tight grip. His eyes were rimmed with red from crying, and his lips quivered slightly before he eventually spoke.

“You and Frank… you’re not… you’re not…”

“We’re not in love, we’re not a couple, we’re not together...” you helped out.

Mikey bit his lower lip.

“You don’t love him?”

“No, I don’t,” you replied.

An idea came to your mind. You could tell Mikey right now, this was the perfect moment to tell him how you felt for him.

“I love you.”

Wide eyed you looked up at him; both of you had spoken at the same time.

Mikey’s jaw dropped slightly as he stared at you.

“What,” he whispered, and you could swear there were tears welling up in his eyes again.

“I said I love you,” you repeated softly, slowly releasing your grip on his pyjama shirt, running your hand up to his upper arm instead.

“Oh,” his eyes trailed off for a moment, before he looked at you again, “can I… can I kiss you?”

You could feel yourself smile involuntarily at his question, and suddenly feeling shy, you nodded.

Mikey lifted his hand to your chin, and carefully pulled your face closer to him before he closed the last inches, and gently connected his lips to yours. Hesitantly he kissed you, still not sure if it was what you wanted, but when you moved the hand on his arm further up to his neck to pull him closer, he decided he was done with holding back. Wrapping his free arm around your waist, he pulled you into his chest, holding you as close as possible. His lips were soft, his body warm, a strange contrast to the stinging cold air surrounding you both. You could feel his chest moving with every breath, felt how a tear that had still been clinging to his cheek, ran down to your lips, giving the otherwise sweet kiss a salty flavour.

When both of you were out of breath, you slowly pulled away, leaning your forehead against his.

“We should go back, it’s freezing out here,” you suggested.

“You’re right,” Mikey nodded, “come here.”

Wrapping his arm around you, he guided both of you back to the bus, into which you quickly climbed. Inside you were hit with warm air, and the delicious smell of hot chocolate.

“(y/n), I called her! She really isn’t mad, she’s actually happy for me that I get to- woah, Mikey,” Frank stopped his enthusiastic rant as he saw Mikey’s still red eyes, “did you cry?”

“Oh, you did-“ Gerard came out of the tiny kitchen, ready to praise you for successfully fulfilling his dare, but bit his tongue as he saw Mikey’s arm around you. Instead he quickly changed his tone to one of concern, “are you okay?”

“I’m now,” Mikey smiled, and let go of you so you could take of your shoes and jacket, while he pulled the cold and wet socks off his feet. “Is there any of that delicious hot chocolate left?”

Gerard disappeared into the kitchen again, and came back holding two big mugs with steaming hot drinks, whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles topping everything off.

“You are our saviour,” you joked, and took the one of the mugs from Gerard, walking over to one of the sofas, and dropped down on it, Mikey sitting closely next to you.

“So…” Gerard looked between you curiously, a shit eating grin on his face already, “you two are-“

“Not your business,” Mikey shut up his brother, but you could hear him smile while he talked, and wrapped his arm around your shoulder again.

“Calm down,” Gerard laughed, “It’s just a question.”

“Well, if you need to know-,” Mikey sighed, but sounded amused.

And then he pulled you in for another kiss.

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