#...I hope it all still makes sense đ«
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The point of this post is to explain why I, personally, enjoy Buck/Tommy. Iâm not trying to convince or persuade anyone to feel as I do. And in that same vein, whoever reads this, if you read this all the way until the end and youâre still neutral or still dislike Buck/Tommy, honestly thatâs fine. However, please do not comment or reblog to try to dissuade me from my enjoyment. If by the end of this post, whoever you are, still feels unsure about Buck/Tommy, truly thatâs fine, but Iâm not the person to talk to about your unease or hesitancy, okay?Â
All right.Â
Iâll state it up front that, yes, Buck/Tommy did happen a bit quickly. I agree, but it doesnât really bother me. Allow me to explain and elaborate. Iâll be jumping around talking about Buck, Buck/Tommy and just Tommy, so bare with me.
For starters, Iâm just happy to see Buck so giddy, excited, and happy about a love interest. The last time weâve seen Buck remotely like this was with Abby. So itâs just a refreshing thing to witness and frankly for Buck to experience. Once Buck got past admitting, âoh yeah, my date was with a guy,â Buck was so excited to talk about Tommy with Maddie, someone very important to him. As well, I donât think any previous love interests have looked so charmed and smitten with Buck the way Tommy does. On that note. Tommy has seen Buck be goofy, jealous, inquisitive, awkward, nervous, sweet, honest, a little bit of a mess, and still thought, âyeah, Iâm attracted to this one.â <3
Now I fully recognize that Buck is not suddenly fixed by having gone on one official date with Tommy. Certainly not. Buck most definitely still has plenty of issues to work through, and on some level, probably always will because - just look at his past. Now I donât know how long Buck is going to be with Tommy, but I donât think thereâs any inherent harm in Buck, even with his issues, dating Tommy for a little while. I donât see it as Buck doing some kind of irrevocable damage to himself or Tommy if they just date for a bit. Yes, at some point Buck should be on his own and do some self reflection (which he struggles with), but until then? Iâd just like to see Buck continue to be excited to get to know Tommy, and work on figuring out how he feels about his uncovered queerness.Â
Tommy is a breath of fresh air in many ways to me. A big thing is that he already had a connection to the 118. Heâs a firefighter and also air rescue, thus can understand and click with Buck on a major and important level. Abby was a first responder, yes, but she too like all other past love interests of Buckâs were still pretty much disconnected from Buckâs friends, family, and his job. They were almost always separate. Then we can add on the fact that Tommy is friends with Eddie, which is another big connecting point for Buck and Buck and Tommy in general. Hell, Tommy has already met Christopher who already appears to like Tommy, too. The only previous girlfriend of Bucks that met Christopher was Taylor Kelly of all people, and I doubt Chris and Taylor interacted all that much since Eddie and Buck were there as buffers. Plus that dinner was for Eddieâs sake more than anyone else. To be clear about Bucks previous relationships, Abby was an interesting character that I liked, but I was certainly not impressed with her ghosting Buck and then not really apologizing for that. Ali was perfectly fine, but she was barely there, so there was no time or reason to get attached. Taylor Kelly is the only one I hate and do I really need to explain why? Natalia was fine I guess. She was hardly developed, so I certainly never got attached to her. We never understood why she liked Buck beyond him dying. She was also very much a âno homoâ insert, but thatâs just me. In addition, the only compelling relationship Buck has had up to this point was with Abby. There was nothing to grasp onto for Ali or Natalia, and please tell me what was compelling or fun to watch about Taylor and Buck being in an unhealthy and miserable relationship. Idk, maybe if Iâd watched season 4 live, I might have felt a little more open towards Taylor and Buck and their friendship, but I kinda doubt it. When I did watch it all I could think of was, âwhy does Buck want to be friends with Taylor Kelly of all people so bad?â But anyway. Tommy is the first love interest of Bucks that I actually like, without any hesitation. Heâs just a good guy, and a little bit silly (fake mouth static youâll always be famous). Though some people ignore it, Tommy did change in season 2. Yes he started out as a jerk, someone just going with the bad flow of the firehouse (and to protect himself), but he did change from that. I think in his last episode of season 2 it shows him being on much better terms with Hen and Chimney. They threw him a âmoving to Harborâ party! In present times? Tommyâs clearly more at ease, confident, friendly, charming, sweet, has shown vulnerability, is honest, social, mature, and helped Hen and Chimney at the drop of a hat - at the risk of being suspended or fired - to save Athena and Bobby. Iâm sure I can list off more traits and interesting attributes, but you get it. To me Tommy already has a lot of personality and I do look forward to discovering and learning more about him. And thatâs an important thing, that Iâm interested in Tommy as a character. Iâm not trying to be a dick, but I couldnât say the same for most of Buckâs previous love interests (nor Eddieâs).Â
And sure Buck needed some nudging from Eddie to not give up on Tommy, but he did actively reach out to and meet up with Tommy, and was honest about where he is in all this, you know? Thatâs a key thing, Buck being more active. He passively fell into every other relationship heâs been in. Thatâs not me dismissing those relationships, because Buck did learn something from each. Iâm pointing out an important difference. Buck, before Tommy kissed him at the loft and when they met up at the cafe, has been quite open and honest with Tommy. At least on screen, idk when Buck has been quite this upfront about stuff at the start of things, so to speak, with a love interest. Thatâs progress for Buck. Perhaps not massive, but itâs not nothing.Â
Like. Buck just discovered a whole new and big part of himself. He discovered this missing piece of him thatâs eluded him for so long (basically his whole life). Heâs going to be messy about it. But just because heâs going to be a bit off balance about it doesnât mean he shouldnât date someone (re: Tommy) right now. Tommy is aware that this is all new for Buck (side note: hereâs a link to a post that talks about the nuance of Tommy, while gentle with Buck, was a bit annoyed at the end of their date and wanted to leave, which was fair and valid. itâs a good read). At the same time, as I mentioned early on in the post, I also think that yeah, at some point Buck does need to be on his own to do some much needed self reflection. Until then, damn, I just want him to try out this sweet thing he has going with Tommy.Â
And yeah, I just think Buck and Tommy are cute together. I do think they have chemistry (which was lacking/absent in some of Bucks previous relationships). Iâm intrigued by the potential they have together, even knowing theyâre not meant for something long term, and thatâs okay. Even for a short time they still can have a good and happy time. And in my ideal world, theyâll remain friends when they part ways. Â
If I had to attempt to sum this all up⊠I find Tommy interesting on his own, and I like what Iâve seen with Buck and Tommy together. Iâm thrilled to see Buck so into and smitten with Tommy, since we havenât seen Buck like this since Abby. Buck and Tommy are cute and refreshing to watch. Plus, I want to see Tommy stick around and not just for Buck, but because of his friendship with Eddie, and to see him continue to? properly? reconnect with Chimney, Hen, and Bobby.Â
If you read till the end, thanks! Even now I feel like I probably missed explaining something haha.
#9-1-1#Evan Buckley#Tommy Kinard#Buck/Tommy#I read over this thing several times#...I hope it all still makes sense đ« #my thoughts#long post#ramblings
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yknow what, fuck it Iâm gonna burn mclaren to the ground my fucking self
FUCK âEM ALL
#anti mclaren#drive to survive#daniel ricciardo#dts#f1#Iâve skimmed some episodes bc letâs be real im not emotionally equipped to deal w it all I watched the Ferrari ep and it broke my heart#for sharl#I havenât touched mickâs ep bc I cried seeing the stupid title#and so now Iâm halfway though dans ep and ohhhhhh how the pr puff pieces make sense from the orange uggos#also norris like I had no hope but Jesus duck this kid likes lowering the bar#thatâs only 12 mins in too Iâve got 20left đ« đ« đ« đ« đ« đ« #Iâm gonna be dehydrated by the end of this I just know it#joey rambles#ALSO HE FUCKING COVERED THEIR ASSES FOR THE OTHER DRIVERS TOO EVEN THO HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT LIKE HE GOT TOTALLY BLINDSIDED AND STILL#GAVE THEM GRACE MY FUCKING GOD#they truly never fucking deserved his presence
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are you out of your fucking mind?
as barton rose his lighter up to the end of his cigarette, one hand cupped around the edge of the butt until it was lit, he looked out on the horizon for a moment. it didn't even occur to him at the time that mary might not approve of his methods of quote unquote 'getting someone to talk' until he'd heard her speak. barton was almost always surrounded by his kids, after all, whom were quite familiar with how irrational he could be. or maybe she was just trying to provoke him for the sake of provoking him? barton honestly had no idea, but he waited for the sound of hooves gallooping against the ground to finally glance at her.
barton blew out some smoke through his nostrils as the horse he'd gotten passed by them and drew the man they were trying to get information out of behind them. a half-suppressed snort came from him at the sight, before he was tilting his head at the other and speaking over the man's screaming, â mm, what, is this disturbing you? you can always look away if you want. though why your conscience might've decided to make an appearance now, of all times, is honestly a complete mystery to me. â barton was not at all taking this as seriously as he should've, it seemed, as he suddenly took his cigarette out of his mouth.
he closed his hands around his lips then as if he wanted to project his voice, shouting at the man, â hey â mister volkman, are you ready to tell us what you meant by 'we aren't going to be free for much longer?' or are you going to continue being stupidly stubborn? â barton paid extra attention to mister volkman, as the man was called, as the horse dragging him behind them passed by once more and heard him say â y-yes, oh my god, just get me off of this damn horse! â the dollmaker turned to mary with a snide smile as if to say 'works every time' and stood up, calling out a loud 'whoa!' to the horse in order to get them to stop. it seemed to work, as the mare slowly but surely halted in front of barton.
and as if he wasn't quite satisfied with how much he'd rubbed it in mary's face that he got him to give up on not talking, barton squinted at her through his mask to convey his pride towards this even further. barton stood up and approached the horse before reaching into the bag he had to offer the mare an apple to eat, looking at mary all the while, â you still feel strongly about asking me if 'i'm out of my fucking mind?' this is an efficient way to get something out of someone, and you have to admit, it's also a bit funny. â
#babydxhl#alright but let me just open with barton is SO sick and twisted for literally drawing someone like we're still in the middle ages to get-#information out of them. like dude... WTF is wrong with you đ mary honestly had every right to call him out here JSJSJ#the fact that he thinks it's FUNNY too? and he snorted at it?? WACK. someone get this man and by get him i mean try to smack some#sense into him or SOMETHING bc he is... not well-adjusted at all to say the least đ« but at least he treated the horse well? idk AHHH#anyhowww i hope that you liked my response to this even though barton is being an absolute MENACE in this one#tw: mentions of drawing as a torture method.#tw: violence.#tw: disturbing content in general.#i am honestly not too sure whether this is good but i tried to make it make sense with the starter you sent me so... yeah JSJSJ
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TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!
â ïžâ ïžFirst of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!â ïžâ ïž Given that warning...
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!
The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice⊠Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents⊠Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as muchâŠ
The Hunt family is a mystery to many.
The members of this family are⊠Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.
Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...
But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.
Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son⊠The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"⊠who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can⊠Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!
AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little⊠I'm going as fast as I can!đ«
I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! đ
#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanart#twst fanart#twst parents#ace trappola#ace twst#ace twisted wonderland#ashengrotto family i looooove u!!!!#azul twst#azul ashengrotto#azul twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT WHY YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT#i swear his family give me SO MUCH trouble#rook hunt#twst rook#rook hunt twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT I WILL GET YOU#!kah art
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Bsf theo bullying you into cockwarming before bed. đ«
bsf!theo is too much of a sweetheart in my eyes so i changed it to brothers bsf!theo if thatâs ok <3 n i hope the italian in this makes sense lmao sorry if it doesnât !!!
âhey, whereâs theââ theo begins as he suddenly bursts into your room, but his words quickly trail off and his eyes widen, a smirk tinged with disbelief spreading across his face. you squeal in shock, instantly jerking your hand away from between your legs and hastily pulling your skirt down, covering your dripping, exposed cunt. meanwhile, pornographic sounds echo through the room from the speakers of your phone, which you clumsily dropped in panic.
âwhat the fuck is your problem?! you fucking asshole! leave!â you yell with narrowed eyes and a tight jaw, your cheeks on fire as you can feel your heart pounding in your throat. you try to reach for your phone that has dropped to the ground, stretching your arm as far as you can, but theo quickly seizes it right before your eyes. âtheo! i swear to fuckingââ âdio santo, what the fuck are you watching? fuckinâ disgusting.â theo snarls in disgust, chuckling condescendingly as his eyes are glued to the screen, the loud, pornographic sounds making your cheeks heat up even more.
âtheoâŠ. GIVE IT TO ME NOW!â you scream at the top of your lungs as you try to reach for your phone, but he jerks it away right before you can snatch it out of his hand and holds it above his head, staring down at you with an amused, mocking look on his face. you jump up, huffing as you stretch your arms as far as you can, but to no avail. âyou better be quiet before your brother hears. you donât want him to find out that his sweet little sister watches this kind of porn when sheâs all alone, huh?â
your breathing quickens out of sheer anger, as if steam could practically come out of your ears while you glare at him with furrowed brows. âi mean, if it was just ânormal pornâ, fair enough. but this⊠nah, thatâs just⊠fucking embarrassing, porco giuda.â he taunts, nodding disapprovingly as he stares at your screen with a mocking expression of shock on his face. âgive. it. back.â âoh, donât worry. i will give it back to you, piccola.â you let out a sigh of relief, the tense muscles in your body gradually relaxing as you start sit down, but then he speaks again. âbut only if you watch more of those videos with me.â âwhat the fââ âwhile you sit on my cock.â
you scoff in disbelief, blinking rapidly as you stare at him, thinking he must be joking, yet the same serious, intense expression doesnât falter from his face, making you realise heâs dead serious. âwhaâ why the fuck would i want that?â âhm. âcause youâre fuckinâ dripping, idiota.â he smugly gestures with his eyes towards your arousal trickling down the insides of your thighs. you look down at where hereâs staring and quickly press your legs together, a mix of embarrassment and fury raging through your entire body. âyouâre a bit slow sometimes, you know that?â
youâre ready to yell at him again, to call him all the horrible names you can think of, but you donâtâ instead, you grab him by his shirt and frustratingly push him onto your bed, causing him to gaze up at you with the cockiest, most arrogant smirk ever, clearly just at surprised by your unexpected behaviour as you are. âdonât think iâm doing this because i want you, alright? itâs justâ you just happen to have a dick!â âyeah, yeah. you hate me, i get it. câmere before i change my mind and tell your brother.â
he grasps your wrist and forcefully pulls you onto his lap, biting his lip as his firm hands wander towards your ass under your skirt, squeezing it roughly. your hands hastily reach down to his crotch, eagerly unbuckling his belt while he shifts his attention to your phone and scrolls through the endless videos, trying to pick the perfect one. âand you know what? maybe iâll let you move if youâre able to sit still enough while watching them with me.â
à©âĄËł
reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! âĄ
#âĄâË for arina đă»â#anon#brothers bsf!theo#theodore nott#theo nott#theodore nott smut#theo nott smut#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theodore nott imagine#theo nott imagine#theodore nott blurb#theo nott blurb#theodore nott drabble#theo nott drabble#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x fem!reader#theodore nott x female reader#theo nott x fem!reader#theo nott x female reader#theo nott x you#theo nott x y/n#slytherin boys#slytherin boys smut
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Could you pretty please do some âhow they would try to court youâ (not in a ABO way, but in a Devildom dating culture way), headcanons / scenarios with Mammon, Beel, and Diavolo?
PAIRINGS: Mammon, Diavolo & Beel x reader (all separate)
NOTE: Let me say this- I love love LOVE requests like these!!! Any time I can write about stuff like this it makes me kick my feet and giggle. Also sorry this is so late- life is a hectic atm đ«
CW: gender neutral reader, mentions of possessiveness, minor suggestive themes (mainly in Diavoloâs part)
How They Would Try to Court You (feat. Mammon, Beelzebub and Diavolo) (Headcanons)
MAMMON
Mammonâs a lot like his crow familiars- especially when it comes to courting. Combine that with his sin of greed and youâre in for a time!
Heâs greedy, so it only makes sense that he wants all of the time. Whether itâs just laying around in your room or even just walking to class, heâs right by your side. People are starting to get used to see him literally everywhere you go. He might as well be perched on your shoulder like your own personal crow
You start to find little trinkets left for you- courtesy of Mammon. Those pairs of earrings you were eyeing at the boutique? You found them on your pillow when you got back from class. The cute pin you says reminds you of him? It's already in your locker. The items are usually something small, but still meaningful to you
Nests!! When you see a cozy bundle of blankets and pillows in both of your rooms, and how Mammon is very adamant (ie. very nervous of your approval) that you have to lay it, you feel like he have no choice but to get in it. It's so comfortable that when he sees you instantly relax he can't help but let his chest puff out in pride (and he may have let out a coo or two when he saw how peacefully you were sleeping)
Speaking of cooing- heâs humming around you too now. It's cute actually, and it makes him blush whenever you comment on it (he even does it without realizing it sometimes, which makes it even more adorable). You start to catch it when you praise him for something, but he starts doing it even more outside of it. He tries to play dumb about it, but he's really happy (and relieved) that you love how his voice sounds (it's what he was hoping for)
He starts to flash show his demon form to you more. It stemmed from your praise at his photo shoot, and ever since then he's been stretching his wings around you. Graze your fingers across them and Mammon would be putty in your hands
Mammon has always been selfish, especially when it comes to you. Itâs obvious what heâs trying to do, but youâre still a bit surprised when he gets serious about it. The nights where he asks you not to leave, where he tightens his grip around you and buries his face into your neck, he means it
He wants to prove to you that heâs the only one you need, that you donât need any other demon but him
BEELZEBUB
Beelâs courting style is simple, yet effective!
Despite it being a while since Beel felt this much of a pull towards someone like this, he really does try his best
He makes sure youâre well fed and never hungry- he knows how he can get on an empty stomach, plus he has to make sure youâre taken care of! It starts to become a very common sight to see Beel feeding some of his food to you, which leaves the others shocked, but heâs unfazed by it. Theyâll even catch you bringing you food to share and not the other way around theyâre used to
Beel is also like Mammon in a way- always by your side. Whether heâs just stuffing his face or observing something else, heâs right behind you like a second shadow. You didnât realize how intimidating it was until you started to wonder why so many people started to steer clear of you- literally
(It wasnât on purpose but Beel wasnât complaining)
He also starts to work out around you more. Youâve always been amazed at his muscles, awed at how he lifts hundreds of pounds with ease. Heâs never been one too full of pride, but the sensation bubbling inside of his chest made him want to show you more. His regular workouts, his fangol games, practice- he wanted you there for it all
Beel canât explain it, but putting his strength on display for you feeds into a growing urge thatâs hard to suppress. He wants to show you how strong he is, how easily he can protect you if something were to arise. The fanged grin on his face when he sees you cheering for him leaves him motivated to do even more
Sometimes heâll slip into his demon form because of how excited he gets seeing you (which in turn makes his opponents/teammates nervous)
Soft bites- it happened by mistake the first time. Beel accidentally bit your finger while you were trying to feed him. He didnât break any skin or hurt you, but when you bit him (playfully) in return somethingâŠchanged inside of him after that. He wanted to do it more- leave your skin littered with marks done by him. And he wants to feel your own blunt teeth bite into him (even if you donât leave a mark). Itâs become a cute memory and another inside joke between you both
(Even if it makes him want to go feral everytime he sees your bite marks)
Beel also scents you! He has the strongest sense of smell in the house (and probably one of the strongest in the entire Devildom), so being able to leave his scent on you isnât a problem. Lending you his clothes (which the sight of you with them does something to him too), wrapping you in his own blankets while burying his face into your neck- you donât know why heâs been so cuddly lately but youâre not complaining (and neither is he)
Beel isnât much of the possessive type, but heâs not willing to share you with any other demon outside of his family. Even then, his primal urge is somewhat satiated knowing that heâs left his mark(s) on you for others to see- and plans on leaving more to show that youâre his
DIAVOLO
The Future King of the Devildom has been lonely for some time now- so forgive him if he goes a bitâŠoverboard in his methods
Remember how he was when you ate the pudding humans weren't allowed to eat? Imagine that type of behavior but with no restrictions
Expect to be adorned in the finest jewelry/outfits you could get in all of the Devildom. It gets to a point where youâre wearing literal millions- all he does is laugh at your shocked expression and waves off your worries. Itâs not like he canât afford it- plus he wants to see you in it all! (and show you how easy he can provide for you)
Heâs a lot more bolder than he usually is during this time too (not that he wasnât bold to begin with). HeâsâŠjust not holding back anymore
Heâs more open with his touch, his hands finding his way to you a lot more common now. Whether it's out in public or behind closed doors, Diavolo can't seem to keep his hands to himself. The looks you get from people when you're out together make you a little embarrassed, but he holds his head up high anyway (which you're not surprised- he is the ruler still, not like they can say much anyway)
But Diavolo doesn't mind the looks- he wants them actually. He wants people to see you with him, to know that you're with him and that nothing is going to change that. That you're his and his alone. A part of him is tempted to keep you locked inside for his eyes only, but he knows that it wouldn't be right to do that to you
But he does invite you over to the castle more, which somewhat helps his urges. Youâre waited on hand and foot by Diavolo, who doesnât mind at all- he sent Barbatos away on âimportant tasksâ (ie. give him alone time with you). Itâs adorable how earnest he is in taking care of you, even if itâs something minimal as holding the door for you or feeding you himself
Heâs in his demon form too, and thrives off of your attention- to see how you admire him makes his chest swell with pride. Youâre in awe at his form (which makes sense since itâs a rare sight to see), and he loves it. He craves it. He encourages you to touch his wings and have your fingers graze his horns- just be careful not to tug on them too hard, unless you want to really get him riled up more than he is now
Diavolo is also like Beel in wanting to see his marks and scent left on your skin. He shows restraint, and itâs only ever done in spots he can see (mostly). There may be a dark splotch or two on your neck from when he got carried away (or when he wanted to show others that you already belong to someone)
Diavolo really hasnât felt like this over anyone in years- Hell, probably in his entire life. He really has become enamored with you during your time in the Devildom that he canât imagine loving someone else. You truly have made his life brighter with your presence
He understands that you canât stay here forever, but that doesnât mean that you canât become mates regardless, right? Or rather, whoâs going to stop him?
#queued.txts#messages.txts#writings.txts#obeyme.txts#obey me x gn!mc#obey me x gn!reader#obey me x gender neutral reader#obey me x reader#obey me x you#obey me x y/n#obey me mammon x y/n#obey me mammon x reader#obey me beel x reader#beelzebub x reader#beel x reader#beel x you#obey me beelzebub x reader#obey me diavolo x reader#obey me diavolo x you#diavolo x reader#diavolo x you#diavolo x y/n
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broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg
title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongiâs interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brotherâs best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further⊠until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i've had time to make it something i'm proud of. trying to rush everything out didn't do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongiâs pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, brođ„Č, yoongi in the studiođ©, the studio boys make another appearanceđ, âŠsomeone else makes their first appearanceđđ, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongiđ« , crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and heâs not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), âŠbad boy yoongiđđ, honestly he is on another level of warning here donât perceive međ, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory weâve been waiting forđ, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :â)), kissing :â)), oh god the kissingâ€ïžâđ©č, thereâs just a lot in both parts i'm sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: ...19.1k đ¶ââïž
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Words abandon you.
They stand far from your form, pitying observers of your decaying state in front of the man youâve been lying to. At once, you feel completely alone, not even Yoongiâs lingering presence helping when those eyes are piercing through time and space. Everything youâve experienced over the past two years slings across your vision, from the first time you left your house in the pouring rain to get to Yoongiâs, to the car ride back you just took with his kiss still on your lips.Â
All of those moments shattering into dust around your heels.Â
Your feet make lines in them when you move to close the front door, something leaving your mouth before you can judge if it makes sense, âAbout what?âÂ
Zero sense. Absolute zero sense. Which your brother has absolute zero patience for. The drone in his question hits you like a punch to the gut, âReally.âÂ
âJust out late, is all,â you grumble, trying your best to not acknowledge an atmosphere so tense itâs almost crowded. âJimin had another party, remember?âÂ
âCourse I do.â
Huh? Wait. Why does he sound soâ
âI was there.â
Dread launches up your veins, rocketing right to your heart in the middle of a pulse. He was there? You saw his car when Yoongi pulled up close to the house. He was there? When the fuck did he arrive? Oh, fuck, if he got there early enough⊠did he see you⊠and YoongiâŠ
No. Thereâs no way. Because one, Yoongi parked far down and around the corner. He made sure not to be close just in case you two could be spotted.Â
With a thought you really cannot afford right now, you also assume he stayed that distance just so that he could pin you against his car. Fucking hell, focus! Upping the strength of your resolve to match cardboard, you lamely stall in your hunt for clarification, âYou were?âÂ
âI was.âÂ
The watch on his wrist glints in its twist. When aggravated veins stare back at you, itâs obvious your brother is on the edge. Because he is deathly calm. âSo whereâd you go?âÂ
You blink, not having expelled a single breath since you stepped foot inside.Â
Does he not know? Or does he know and heâs just waiting for you to finally spill? With all the hope in the universe, you yearn for it to be the first one. Because you cannot deal with a fallout right now. Not right after what happened with Yoongi.Â
Itâs just not the right time.Â
âYuriâs,â you blurt, finally kicking into gear and strategizing how youâre gonna finesse this. âShe came and got me.âÂ
Your sibling just stands there, eyes a solid beam before he sighs at clasped wrists.Â
Here it comes. Heâs gonna ask why you didnât say anything. Like he always does because for some reason youâre still not a true adult to him and he has to keep tabs on you at all times and you canât just sneak around with his best friend in peaceâ
âK.â Your eyes shake once. âJust tell me next time.âÂ
And just like that, your brother vacates the foyer, dark dress shoes clacking as he retreats back into his room. Leaving you standing in silence.Â
All the words around you just as speechless.Â
Just like that, youâre gone again.
After watching you leave and wishing you didnât have to, Yoongi shuts his door to rest ponderous thoughts on worn wood. Eyes closed and a storm on his mindâs horizon.
Just a little longer. He hopes youâll understand. This is just something he needs. More than anything else.Â
Exhausted, he peels himself from the door, meandering through the bog of his living room. Trudge, trudge, trudge to the dining table, skirting fingers along the edge and noting that it feels different than before.Â
At least something in his apartment has changed for the better.Â
Who wouldâve thought that table would witness both an end and a beginning. That it would see the worst and best of him. If it was ever called to stand, thereâs no doubt that it could recite all his failures and shortcomings. But he hopes that it would also attest to how much heâs fucking tried.Â
As much as Yoongi wants to throw it out, he hasnât. Because despite being withered to hell, all it needed to recover was the new company of a familiar face.Â
And a little bit of summer rain.Â
It watches as his thoughts move on, and soaks in the blues and pinks of sunrise as he crosses into the bedroom. At the feel of your lingering presence, Yoongi gnaws on his lip.Â
What the fuck does he do now? The moment you leave, he wants nothing more than to have you back in his bed. Itâs the one fact that he has come to fully acknowledge. Because there are many times youâve caught him slipping. But when youâre lost to your dreams? Visibly at peace and safe under his sheets? Thatâs when he canât even think straight.Â
How your serenity throws him into disarray, Yoongi has no fucking clue.
But he canât afford these feelings right now. Because how can he want you close while being the reason for this distance? Make it make sense. Donât be a fucking hypocrite. Tsking, Yoongi once again accepts the consequences, heading to his bathroom before going back the fuck to sleep.Â
Lies. Who is he kidding? Thereâs no way his rest will be the same without you. Especially since he doesnât know when heâll get to see you next.Â
There is a way to remedy that. To put an end to your time apart. But Yoongiâs been so in his fucking head that itâs chaining him down and pulling taut. No matter how much he struggles, he canât break free, and itâs driving him to the brink.
But last night? With you? Half moons mar his palms as he stands. Staring. Branding that whole memory into his heart.
After three months of questioning his existence.Â
All it took was your soft hums to give him a reason.Â
And you wonât ever know how much that meant to him. Not until Yoongi finally decides to tell you. Which will most likely be never. Maybe thatâs why this time tears at his chest more than all the others. Maybe thatâs why he stood in his doorway longer than usual. Maybe thatâs why he canât quite carry the weight in his chest.
Dumping himself on dark mountainsâcreations of his and your designâYoongi buries his face in those valleys. Inhales those aromas like some hit he can live off of for however many days left he needs.Â
Desperately grasping for a fading world where only you two exist. Drifting. Dreaming. Disarmed by a vibration on his nightstand.
The fuck.
Who is texting him this early. There are only a few people he has notifications on for wait itâs probably you saying youâre home.
Peeling himself off the sheets with a groan, Yoongi simply shifts his upper body to reach for his phone, squinty-eyed as he checks his screen.
And he doesnât see your name.
Dumbass: 1 New Message
But your brotherâs.
What the hell does heâ
Dumbass [07:30]: We need to talk.
âŠShit.
Yoongi grips his phone in panic, ice water streaming through his veins and mind set ablaze with potential scenarios.
Heâs awake. You went home. And heâs awake. Fuck, did anything happen? Did you say anything? What are the chances this text means he found everything out?Â
Shit.Â
Does Yoongi answer now? Or does he sleep and pretend that this is just a text and isnât a problem at all? Think. Your brother may not even be referencing you, or him. Right? It could be something completely different.Â
Why canât he fucking move?Â
Every regret Yoongiâs kept at bay floods his brain, crashing into assumptions of your mental state and creating a massive whirlpool of dread. Just answer. Donât answer. Just answer. Donât fucking answer. Suddenly, another alert lights his home screen and itâs a call oh fuckâwait⊠Itâs Jungkook?Â
Why not. Sure. Whatâs one more issue.Â
Picking up, Yoongi runs hard fingers through his hair as he answers.
âHey, you coming?â
âHuh?â
âWe have that session in thirty.â
The what. The session? Oh, fuck. The session. Yoongi completely forgot they had a recording booked today because they were so hyped last night to get a date for the release party shit. Vacating his bed, Yoongi answers with a low, âYeah, Iâll be there.âÂ
âYeah, donât be late. Itâs those guys from before.âÂ
Fuck, itâs that one. The dudes that stopped by the studio just as things were wrapping up, shocking everyone when they scheduled some time. Highly successful musicians and performers booking something with a no name studio? Things are rolling in the right direction and coming along fast.Â
But as things go. If they donât take this shit seriously, everything can crash just as quickly.
âHeading out,â Yoongi finally says as he yanks a hoodie from his closet, and a loud vibration against his ear makes him flinch.Â
Dumbass [7:40]: Heading over
Fuck!
âYou okay?âÂ
âShit, yeah.â Yoongi grips soft material before his phone hits his desk with a thump. Hastily dressing, he grunts, âMaybe. Might be like two minutes late.âÂ
âNah, come now.âÂ
Heâs heading over? Your brother? If thatâs the case, thereâs no way he doesnât know.Â
Fuck, relax. Donât overthink. If anything, there wouldnât have even been a heads-up. Yoongi figures heâd just find out as soon as heâs thrown against a wall. Or the ground. Or right onto his coffee table that this very guy helped pick out. Shit, he needs to know but he doesnât wanna find out.Â
But nevermind him. Are you okay? Swiping his device, Yoongi quickly types a text before fast-walking out of his room, going on autopilot when he assures into his receiver, âIâll get there.âÂ
Yoongi [7:42]: Going to the studio
âOn time? You better!â
Goddamn, heâs juggling too much right now.Â
As Yoongi breaks into the dining room, he hears a rustling on the line before other voices jut through the speaker. Sounds like Hobi and Joon are already there, and the next thing said further spikes his stress level another peak,Â
âWeâre already cutting it close with the prep.âÂ
Fucking hell, the prep. The mics, the tracks, the setup. They forgot to do all of it. Something inside of him starts snarling and almost pounces through the phone, âFuck, we shouldâve been ready already.âÂ
âShit, I know.âÂ
âWe canât keep doing this.âÂ
âDude, relax, I get it.âÂ
âDo you? Cus this is⊠Fuck.âÂ
âYeah, yeah, weâll get it done but itâs gonna be tight. Hey, whereâs the⊠Damn it, whatâs it called?â
Frustrated and rummaging through his pantry, Yoongi knows he sure as hell didnât think about anything else as soon as he heard you crying on the line. If he had remembered while leaving the studio, he couldâve spared a brain cell to rush everyone back in. âThe what.âÂ
âThe⊠The overhead mic for the drums.âÂ
Of course, heâd repeat every decision he made last night. Over, and over, and over again. But any of them shouldâve remembered this step before leaving, which pisses him off. The studioâs lack of experience is showing and itâs making him nervous.Â
And Yoongi still doesnât know whatâs going on with his best friend.Â
âWe need two overheads for drums,â he corrects while swiping a water bottle from the counter. And heâs about to rattle off where they are when he feels another long buzz.Â
Dumbass: Incoming CallÂ
Of fucking course.Â
Mind whirring so hard he can feel steam, Yoongi quickly recalls where the mics are, âTheyâre somewhere in the back by the amps, but I gotta take this so Iâll see yâall there.âÂ
âWait, where are theââ
Nope. Kookâs just gonna have to figure out whatever heâs asking on his own. Switching calls, Yoongi answers while opening his door, hastily putting out the food and water he grabbed from the kitchen.Â
âHey.â Fuck, is his voice shaking? What the hell is he gonna be faced with in the next few seconds? Can he freeze time and rewind and keep last night on repeat? âIâm about to head out.âÂ
âDonât leave yet, Iâm coming.âÂ
âNo, justââYoongi dashes back inside before grabbing his wallet and keys from the barââYou good? I canât be late.âÂ
âDonât lie. Yâall are done, right?âÂ
Donât lie. Yoongi feels like hurling.Â
âWe got another project,â he huffs as he meets sunrise again, blazing a trail through his corridor and rounding the corner to his car. âA bandâs coming in for a session.â
âShit.â
Thereâs a pause on the line. And itâs the first bit of silence Yoongiâs had since he got the first bone-chilling text. Is his secret safe? Are you okay? Should he work extra late and run from a problem yet again? Heâs very good at that. Running. If there was a medal for distance ran from issues, heâd be on the podium for both gold and silver.
âOkay, fine.âÂ
Relief is temporary. This could just be him biding his time in order to figure out what to do. Or maybe he truly doesnât know whatâs going on and Yoongi has a bit more uninterrupted time with you.Â
Delusion is a great place to stay.
In any case, his friendâs behavior is alarming. Whatâs he doing up this early? And why is he wanting to swing by so bad if not to slice him into tiny pieces? Nerves slow on the downslope, Yoongi shuts his car door and lends his ear, âBut serious, are you okay?â
âI just⊠Tch. I canât even say it.â
He lets his friend go through a series of small sounds on the line, pulling out of the lot and hitting the road with tire squeaks. âWhatâs up,â he finally pushes, looking sideways and remembering the car ride home.Â
There was no way Yoongi was gonna say no to you. He didnât in this universe, and heâd bet his whole life he doesnât in any other one, either. Not when your wings looked like you hadnât used them in months.   Â
Pained, Yoongi hopes youâre completely fine and sleeping. Tucked away in a bed that captured part of his heart, visiting him in your dreams so that some version of him can be at your side.Â
âEverything, Yoong.âÂ
But, as it so starkly turns out, he has to deal with reality. And with the fact that youâre just as far away as you were before last night. Maybe even further out of reach.Â
So, so far away.Â
âThereâs a ton of shit, but. Fuck. Guess weâll have to wait.â
Right now, deal with the studio prep and get through the session that will probably take awhile. After that, meet up with your brother and hope to god he doesnât know. âK.â
âJust lemme know when you get back.â
Then, when all of that is done, Yoongi will be alone. Staring into the night and trying his hardest not to give up on himself again. âYeah, I will.âÂ
âNo running.â
âK.â
When the call ends, Yoongi lets out the harshest breath heâs ever let out in his life. Hoping you went right to sleep without dealing with any of that.Â
âHow did that sound?âÂ
Looking into the recording room, Yoongi raises a thumbs up as Hoseok clicks back to the beginning of the track. At their side, Namjoon hits a button on the console before speaking into a microphone, âYâall wanna come hear it?âÂ
âWe can move on. Wanna get the doubling done.âÂ
Huh? Theyâre gonna move onto vocal doubling already? With a few blinks, Yoongi think itâd be better if theyâ
âOkay!â Jungkook agrees from the couch, cutting out any other thoughts. âIf any of you need adjustments, let us know.âÂ
âYeah, actually, can one of you come switch this out?âÂ
Joon throws a suggestion over his shoulder, but Yoongi is already heading for the booth before his name is even mentioned.Â
Get everything done smooth. Stay disciplined. Be professional, goddamn it.
Entering the soundproofed room will always make him want to occupy the mic instead. That feeling hasnât gone away, and there have been countless nights where heâs spent time just sitting in this very space, visualizing what it would be like to work on this side of the glass someday. Deep down, Yoongi knows he could be somebody. But imposter syndrome runs deep.Â
Avoiding cables strewn about the room, he offers his hands without a word, taking a guitar from the lead singer and making his leaveâ
âHey.â He turns. âYouâre good.âÂ
What? Where the hell did that come from? Did he even hear this guy right or was he just daydreaming again? Yoongiâs so thrown he can only stare with question marks for eyes.Â
Amused, the singer simply points to the side of his beaming countenance. âYou have an ear.âÂ
Huh. How the hell can this dude tell? All Yoongiâs done is indicate if a recording take was good or not, and given a few minuscule suggestions to the keyboardist and guitaristâinstruments heâs well-versed in.Â
Yet again, heâs so in his head that the man outright laughs, âRelax! You can talk to us like normal, you know. None of us care about etiquette shit.âÂ
âShit, my bad,â Yoongi finally responds, instrument in his hands proving a little lighter. âThanks.âÂ
âOf course.â Swishing long bangs to the side, the performer rests a hand on his hip. âWeâre open to anything. Weâd just tell you if your opinion sucks.âÂ
Eyes creasing with his lips, Yoongi puffs out a laugh.Â
âKidding. Only a little.â
Even though these people are world-renowned, theyâre the first humble group to run through the studio. Everyone else has been either cocky, standoffish, or super opinionated, which made for unproductive hours.
Yoongi likes this change of pace. His shoulders start to feel composed, less scrunched than they had been since you left his place this morning. Comforted, he looks down at the guitar in his fingers.
Choosing not to say what he wants to.Â
Should he? Nah. These guys know what theyâre doing. Despite the nice offer to speak up, itâs not his place. Far from it.Â
âŠBut what would you tell him to do? What would you be proud of?
Committed to his answer, Yoongi grips the neck and decides without another thought,Â
âDo the chorus again.âÂ
The whole studio stills. But all heâs looking at is the man in front of him, shaking his head when they ask, âSame way?âÂ
âUhm. No.â As he hands the guitar back, Yoongi wordlessly checks if he can see the sheet music. When given the go-ahead, he scans the lines before pointing out a passage to note,Â
âMm. Here. Vocals are fine as is, but. Ride the build-up quicker and hit the next chord after a bit longer.â When he stops, he has to fight to ignore the eyes on him. Thereâs no doubt that his extended time in the recording room is being questioned, and his hand movements probably make him look stupid. âItâll keep in time but hit harder.âÂ
Done. He said it.Â
And the response that follows puts complete silence to shame.Â
Instantly self-conscious, Yoongi swears he can hear Hobiâs pants shift in the control room through two closed doors shit he took it too far. Fuck, if these guys walk out now the studio is done for and heâll be the only reason whyâ
âWell, goddamn. Letâs try that then.âÂ
Huh. Theyâre gonna take that?Â
As he steps away, Yoongi feels slightly awkward doused in attention. Yeah, expressions seem like looks of approval, but they could just be polite.Â
The man hums the chorus with Yoongiâs notes in mind, and his eyebrows tick a bit before he addresses the others in the room, âYou heard him?â
âMmhmm.â
âYeah, we can try that.â
âWhy didnât you think of that, Woosung?â
Yoongi canât keep his amusement under wraps as the singer laughs, addressing his keyboardist with a grin, âDamn, not even Sammy? Straight to Woosung, huh.â
âSammy wouldâve thought of it.â
Another bout of mirth spreads joy around the recording booth, and Yoongi shares a look with the singer before they both nod.Â
âLetâs see how it sounds.âÂ
âK.â
Proud and adrenaline-filled, he turns to walk back to the door, head so buzzed he doesnât know what to do. But when Yoongi canât see into the control room anymore, he misses a stare through the glass.
A stare that lingers on him just a little too long.Â
The rest of the session goes smooth, and Yoongiâs relieved that they havenât asked him for anything else.Â
After all. He doesnât wanna push it, or step on Jungkookâs toes. What happened in the recording room only went down because you would have scolded him for not seizing that moment. And the suggestion he gave was lauded after the next take.
It was the first time since you kissed him goodbye that he felt a healthy pulse in his chest. Despite the chaos of the morning, amid the thoughts and worries penetrating his brain, you reached out and kept him steady in just the right moment.Â
Fuck being his good luck charm. You give guardian angels shame and you donât even know it.Â
âOkay, weâll take ten after this.â
Jungkook holds up an arm while agreeing, âOkay! Weâll save what we got!âÂ
Yoongiâs scanning the tracks when he feels hovering over his shoulder, and he already knows itâs the kid without looking. âSup.â
âNothing.â
âYou sure.â
At this, Jungkook pauses before he sighs. âYeah, itâs nothing,â he clearly lies.Â
But Yoongi will let him figure out whether to run with that or not. He seems a little bothered about something, and it very well could be what happened in the booth. This is work, and theyâre both adults. If he wants to talk about something, Yoongi will gladly have that conversation.Â
Suddenly, a vibration erupts in his hoodie pocket, and his phone is fished out without him even thinking.Â
Hustler: Incoming Câ
Shit. You wouldnât call him at work unless itâs urgent. Which is quickly throwing any possible theories about your brother not knowing out the window.Â
But fuck, he canât answer yet. Thereâs no way. Not only is he in very close range to someone you donât wanna speak to right now, but heâd get blasted for being on his phone during a session. Hoping you can wait just two more minutes, Yoongi turns the buzzing off within his hoodie pocket, anxiously waiting for the take to start.Â
Hoping to everything that Jungkook didnât happen to see what was on his screen.Â
As soon as everyone looks pleasedâthree takes and thirty minutes laterâYoongi quickly excuses himself from the control room. His head practically overheats on the way out back, but the gust of morning breeze serves to soothe it some.Â
Itâs been chilly lately. A bit grey. But whatever the weather has been outside, itâs no match for the atmosphere of his brain.Â
Pulling his hood over hair he hasnât cut in months, Yoongi looks around before ringing you up. Hoping that youâre good and didnât have to go through a version of his panic earlier.Â
Hustler: Outgoing CallÂ
Straight to voicemail? Shit.
Hustler: Outgoing Call
Fuck, still voicemail. Are you okay? On the phone with someone else? Did your brother actually end up finding out and things are worse than he thought? Clutching his phone, Yoongi glances up while giving it slight shakes, body on alert while deciding what the hell to do now.Â
Maybe he can at least text you to ask what the hell happened this morning? Typing. Erasing. Retyping. Retrying.Â
Yoongi [9:02]: Got a session today, doll.Â
Thatâs what he had to say? That wonât do you any good, the fuck? Berating himself with a sigh, he takes a few steps while texting a follow-up.Â
Yoongi [9:03]: Still going, but are you good?
Staring, it takes him a few seconds to decide if this is enough. If these two messages are gonna suffice to help him figure out what the hell heâs getting into later.Â
Itâs not. Thereâs too much he needs to know.Â
Hustler: Outgoing CallÂ
When it doesnât ring a third time, Yoongi gives up, cursing before turning and raking his hood off in distress.
Only to see Woosung materializing out of nowhereârelaxed, silent, and taking a drag.Â
Shit. How much of that did he witness?
âBeen there,â the man empathizes, blowing out smoke into crisp morning. After a swell of early traffic fills the alleyway, he continues, âIn trouble?â
Great. With a sound of dejection, Yoongi answers to a stack of random boxes, âMight be.âÂ
âDonât wanna commit anymore?âÂ
âI do,â Yoongi blurts without hesitation, looking right into eyes that have seen plenty more than he has.Â
And itâs the first time heâs admitted anything out loud. To a stranger miles above him in status, no less. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he clarifies, âItâs just⊠Thereâs something I need to do first.âÂ
Wait a sec. Why the fuck is he talking about this so freely? This isnât something he does. Privacy is practically his brand. So why is it easy to talk to this guy? Itâs him, for fuckâs sake. But whatâs done is done. Woosung probably wonât even remember this conversation even happened, or is already annoyed as hell he didnât get a good read on him.Â
To Yoongiâs surprise, his alley companion speaks again after another white wisp. âMmm⊠Something you need to do?â
Well. Yoongi walked right into this one. Swallowing and knowing he canât dip out, he sighs, âSome shit I wanna finish.â The smell of tobacco wafts around him when he looks at dulled skies. âShit I need to get through.âÂ
An amused hum floats through empty space. âBeen there, too.âÂ
Yoongi slowly turns to regard his client, watching as Woosung becomes very interested in wet concrete.
What kind of shit has this guy seen? Surely, he could have had some of the same experiences. The slight droop in his confident shoulders tells enough. But would he understand the exact same situation?Â
No. At least, Yoongi hopes not. Quite fucking frankly, he hopes no one has had to go through the same shit that he has.Â
âLet me know if you ever need help,â Woosung offers, shocking Yoongi to the point of speechlessness. As he drops his cigarette to squash it out, he runs a hand through wild dark locks. âWeâll be around again.âÂ
Wait. What? Yoongi can only blink. âSerious?â
âYeah.â The man looks down the outside corridor, watching as people start heading to their jobs through a central courtyard. âGot a good feeling about this place.â
What does he mean by that. What can Woosung possibly mean by that what does he mean theyâll be back? To the studio? To the city? Whatâs happening. Yoongi simply lets a pause prevail before offering the only response heâs capable of,
âItâs the food next door, huh.â
That laugh has got to be top five in the world. Not as great as yours, but definitely up there in terms of what makes Yoongi feel like things are alright. Not that heâd ever admit that shit to anyone. Ever.
Mercifully, the conversation moves away from risky topics. Instead, there are talks about a tour one is planning for his bandâs album, mixed in with mentions of equipment the other is saving up for. Then the rest isnât about music at all.
Finally, itâs time for them to continue recording, so they know to head back inside. âDonât wait,â Woosung advises as he turns on his heel.Â
And Yoongi can only stare somewhere else.Â
âIf thereâs something you need to get through...âÂ
Stare, and stare, and stare some more.
âHit it until it breaks.â
Because heâs already aware. More than anyone.
As Woosung shuts the back door, Yoongiâs gaze finds the crushed cigarette at his side. Another reminder of how things were.
And a reminder that heâs still a fucking coward.
Hours later, Yoongiâs car awaits him in the lot.Â
And when he realizes that you still havenât responded, he shuts his door just a little too hard.Â
Whenever his friend comes over for drinks, itâs always the same routine.Â
Both of them donât talk much, instead opting for a quiet greeting before someone dumps themselves on the couch while the other grabs a bottle and cups in the kitchen. As soon as glasses are filled, conversation sparks as a game plays out on tvâor a sportscasting show if nothing interesting is airing.Â
But this time? None of it happens that way. Because when Yoongi opens his door, heâs pinned with a shadowed visage he's only seen piercing through others.Â
And the whole arctic starts to seep into his bloodstream.
Raising a brow and giving space is his chosen course of action. Best to not disturb a beast if theyâre already ready to lunge.
And his friend eyes him as he stalks into the house, scanning around in search of somethingâliving room, dining table, even looking into the open doorway of the bedroom.Â
Fuck. Relax. Donât assume anything until things are on the table. Yoongi has got to pretend like tonight is normal and fine and that heâs obviously and positively not seeing and sleeping with his friendâs little sister.Â
And that he most definitely didnât eat you out where your brother is sitting now motherfucker he needs a drink. Or a smoke. Or both with a plane ticket out of the whole country.Â
At least the television is already on. If it wasnât for that ambiance, Yoongiâs head would be jam packed with every goddamn sound known to man. Including the adorable way you talk in your sleep, and how you strain so beautifully when you come fuck, fuck, fuck! Focus.Â
Whatâs happened has happened. And whatâs going to happen will happen. Whether itâs a consequence of his actions, or nothing to do with any of this at all.Â
But when faced with everything smushing together at once? Yoongi will probably need to be revived no matter what the outcome. This is the most stressed out heâs been in years.Â
Not only that, but his stress is more than obvious. Even now in the kitchen, heâs scanning through his bottles with a fingerâan action heâs never done while sober since the choices are always predictable. Holy shit, he needs to pull it together.Â
Has he ever been this panicked? Does he appear just as chaotic and disjointed as he feels? This is too new. This is very new and if he doesnât regain control thereâs no telling where this foreign road leads.
But the silence still remains as he turns. And apparently the road hits a dead end at his dining table. Since itâs occupied rather than the living room sofa.Â
Sighing, Yoongi ambles to his friend, placing everything down with clinks and ignoring the way his furniture is getting burned through. Both whiskyâs are ready. Yoongiâs already holding his. And your brother still hasnât moved a muscle. Honestly, what the fuck is going on withâ
âI went to Jiminâs last night.â
âŠWhat.Â
Donât react. Heâs staring. Donât fucking react. Take a drink. A sip. Pick up the goddamn glass. Doing so, Yoongi slowly brings the liquid to his lips, not quite following his own instructions as he asks behind a barrier, âHow was it.â
His question is met with a laugh that isnât funny at all. The kind that drags a finger along the chalkboard of your soul. And the next question directed his way pulverizes Yoongiâs denial,
âCare to share whatâs been going on?â
Heâs sick. Beyond sick. The room is closing in and closing in too fucking fast. Shit shit shit. Thereâs no way he saw. No fucking way. He parked down the street he deliberately stopped as far away as possible and you saw your brotherâs car in your driveway. Did he get there after you left? And didnât see you while also not hearing from hiâ
âWhy her, Yoong? Hmm?â
Fuck!Â
Yoongi canât feel the air in his lungs. Because there isnât any. Just a barren wasteland of shriveled futures and cracks in the foundation of every relationship heâs had in his whole life. The millisecond before a crash and only his wheels spinning and spinning and spinningâ
Your brother shoots out of the chair, making the glass in Yoongiâs palm feel infinitely more solid.
âI mean, fuck! After all the shit weâve been through? Youâre gonna go back to her?â
All theâshit, he canât evenâback to? Back to you? What does he mean by back to you? Does he know about the first tiâ
Volcanic, the man interrogating paces beside the dining table. Back and forth, back and forth. A pause. Back and forth.
And Yoongi still feels frozen in time. Is this it? Is this when things come crashing down? Glass suspends in midair all around him; an orchestra trembles beneath his feet, waiting for the moment to rip into his rib cage with swift strokes and a flourish as heâs taken down.Â
âCanât fucking believe you.â
When Yoongi finally chooses to speak, what comes out only feels like a horrible attempt more than anything else, âListen, itâs my fauââ
âWhat, you just decided to fuck that bitch again? Couldnât stay away?â
Oh, fuck that.Â
Wood scrapes into flooring as Yoongi vacates his chair, hard feet planted as he gets into the face of his best friend, his confidant, his day one. Only to speak so low only them two can hear, âHow bout you use your fucking words already and Iâll tell you.â
âYeah? Is that what you want?â They are only a breath apart. But no oneâs going anywhere now. âNeed me to spell it out for that fuckass brain of yoursââ
âSay itââ
âStop fucking your ex, dude!â
Yoongiâs back connects with the chair behind him, palms flinging back to brace himself through a jolt of pain. And his eyes go so wide they stretch at the edges.
âŠMotherfucker, what?
Your brother is not done in the slightest, but Yoongi can only stare as heâs being berated for something that is one-hundred percent news to him, too.Â
âEveryone was happy when you finally left. All of us. Only for you to go and, what, get back with her?â
Nothing makes sense. This isnât about you? Yoongiâs heart canât even reset to start beating again. Everything is coming as shock after shock and thereâs no way he can keep up at this pace.
His ex? Her? Where the fuck did that come from and why the hell does he of all people think thatâs actually true?
âIf youâre gonna be with her, you can count me out.âÂ
No. Never again. That would never, ever happen again. âThe fuck are you even sayingââ
âIâm not fucking joking, Yoong. If youâre seriously back with her thenââ
âLook, I donât know what the fuck you heard, but Iâm not.â
âSo everything I heard was a lie?â
âHuh?â
âHe told me!â
Heâwho? Who the fuck would say that? And when how what the fuck and why? Yoongi stares, chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Because he has a choice to make. Either he trudges into this lie and rubs sludge all over his bones, or he denies it like he wants because itâs not fucking true.
What the actual fuck. Itâs already bad enough that someone sent this along the rumor mill. And itâs making him sick thinking about all the implications surrounding it. But itâs even worse that his best friend believes it so easily. Heâs coming at him so quick without even asking if itâs true.Â
The only silver liningâthe singular bright spot in this hellholeâis that he can use it as an out. An out to protect you from wrath and further fury from your older sibling because if you were the rumor? Heâd be laid flat on his floor next to a broken dining set.
âYou gonna say anything or what?âÂ
Truthfully, Yoongi feels queasy knowing what heâs gonna do. But itâs for you. You, you, you. And for that, Yoongi will do anything.Â
Even if it kills him.
âNo, I, ummâŠâÂ
âNo?âÂ
Just hurry up and fucking do it.Â
Resigned, Yoongi lets the memories flood through. Every moment thatâs haunted him from a distance charges forward as he surrenders to the pain of his past. âItâsââ Fuck, he canât even begin to lie, head thundering, thundering, striking his heart in the rain. âI...âÂ
His friend halts. Tense before his shoulders fall back to normal. âYou what.â
What the fuck does Yoongi do? What can he say when his brain is only firing up to beg him to run? Technically, he doesnât have to say anything. He really doesnât. But he can deflect. Itâs what heâs best at, after all. Heâs been doing it to you and he will do it again.
In the most defeated voice he can muster, Yoongi comes up with something that will placate his friend while still prolonging this horrid fib, âYou donât have to worry about that anymore.âÂ
âYou sure?â
Itâs true. More true than anything. âItâs over now.âÂ
A century passes. Then another. Then another. Every piece of furniture waits in silence as the television seeps back into his ears.Â
Then his friend sighs, not looking back as he slumps into the same chair that you always occupy. And Yoongi hopes his sigh of conflicted relief isnât witnessed.Â
Following suit, he rubs his lower back before taking his regular seat again, not giving any shits about waiting to drink.Â
His ex?Â
As his throat warms, Yoongi starts to harden the more memories keep crashing into each other like jagged waves fuck he really hates how she was brought into this he swears as soon as he figures out who said this he is going toâ
âSorry.â Haze shattered, he lifts his gaze. âIâm so fucking stressed and hearing that last night justâŠâ
âItâs done.â Yoongi reaches for the thick bottle, pouring more into his glencairn. Wanting to talk about literally anything else, he diverts the conversation, âBut something else is up with you so say it.â
It works. The man inhales deep, rubbing his face with weary hands. When he rests elbows on wood, he finally talks about other things clouding his mind,
âWork is shit,â he groans downward. âTheyâre having me travel again.âÂ
âDomestic?â
âYeah. But for longer. And I donâtâŠâ Tapering off, he sits back, slowly playing with his glass. As if he doesnât want to mention the next problem.Â
When he finally does, Yoongi wholeheartedly understands the hesitation, âI dunno know whatâs going on with my sister.â
Oh. Fuck, how the hell does he respond? Keeping his cool, Yoongi just repeats the question, taking out his phone and pretending to check his screen. âYour sister?â
âYeah.â A sigh is sandwiched between explanations. âThe past few months, I feel like.. They havenât really been themselves.âÂ
A sudden crack splits him through.
âNot laughing. Not eating as much. Like even when they sound happy, I can tell itâs a front.. I donât know.âÂ
The clunk of his phone hits the table very hard.Â
No. No, no, no. Your texts have been so positive. So encouraging. Other than a few sad calls, youâve been happy to hear from him just as he had been relieved to hear from you. Even in the car, you mustâve put your feelings lightly.Â
Your wings. Youâve been enduring all that? For him? Yoongiâs heart rears its head, snagging one of his breaths and slamming both lungs into the floor.
And hatred paints his heart another shade darker.
âThey finally went out last night, but. Didnât come back until this morning.â Running rigid hands through his head, the man looks so pained. So helpless. âSame clothes, dude.âÂ
And Yoongi can only stare, feigning nonchalance but raging and tearing himself apart inside. âMm.â
âI just⊠I know I suck at this, but. I donât know what the hell to do. Or if I even do anything.â Your brother finally takes a swig, wincing at how much ethanol coats his tongue.Â
Relax, relax, relax. As much as he wants to erupt on himself right now, Yoongi has to stay calm.
Not like he doesnât know how. Thatâs usually how he operates, anyway. Itâs hard to tell heâs struggling unless you look deep enough. And almost no one thinks to do so because his surface is all they want.Â
But right now? He doesnât think he can sequester this anger any longer. At him, his past, and his stupid present decisions.Â
âLike I tried to say something but I just.. I felt like if I push too hard, theyâre gonna shut down even more. Ever since that fight with Kook, itâs like..âÂ
Seeing an opening and keeping a neutral stance, Yoongi asks the most ironic question to date, âAre they seeing someone?â
At this, his friend shakes his head, eyes glued to dark amber liquid. When he answers, all the breaths in the world cut at once,Â
âI think she feels all alone.âÂ
This hit is the strongest. Straight to the gut, breath stuttering and muscles clenching so hard they lock. Itâs almost severe enough to affect how Yoongi feels around his eyes.Â
âAnd it sucks not knowing what to do.â
Yoongiâs heart lurches, deflating and slipping out of the crack in his chest. Piercing on the jagged edges before slumping down onto a table that continues to judge him. Â
Youâre hurting. Your brotherâs hurting. And itâs all his goddamn fault. Why canât he just break free and admit shit? Why is he still haunted by the phantoms of his past? Why is he still so fucking weak? Itâs clear that he hurt you. For months. Youâve been cheering for him that whole time while youâve been visibly broken and itâs all because of his dumbass decision toâ
âIâm heading out again.â
Yoongi raises his eyes. Because he canât seem to move anything else. âWhen.â
Your older sibling takes a slower, more measured sip. Looking towards the channel playing in the living room, he answers, âAfter our game. Dinner Friday, game on Saturday, fly out Sunday.âÂ
âMm. Weâll still be here,â Yoongi assures, keeping things as normal and neutral as he can. âJust like last time.â
How ironic. How hypocritical. He hasnât been there for you in the slightest so how the fuck can he say that with a straight face.Â
âThanks. I know itâs a lot for yâall but..â
Not at all. Yoongi is more determined than ever to make everything up to you. Itâs the least he can do after putting you through something he decided on the fly.Â
On the run.
âDonât worry about that,â he vows into his drink. Honestly, if youâve been having second thoughts about this whole thing, he doesnât blame you. Absolutely doesnât blame you if you realize youâre better than this. But Yoongiâs at least gonna apologize in every single way he can. As soon as he possibly can. âWe got it.âÂ
âK.â The man finishes his glass and goes to pour more. âDid I ever mention that she liked you?â
Now whatâ Coughing on whisky is a bitch and a half. Hitting his chest while both eyes squint from burn, Yoongi croaks out his exact thoughts, âWhat.â
At this, his friend finally breaks into his regular smile. Setting the bottle down with a hollow clunk, he points, âDonât you fucking get any ideas. Jiminâs already on my shit list.â He scoffs out a laugh. âBut it was obvious when we were younger.â
And Yoongi can only cough some more. He shakes his head through the sting, swallowing and trying to compose himself. He doesnât know where the hell that came from, but he hopes your brother will understand when all is said and done. Even though heâs been the reason youâve been soâŠ
Yoongi almost fucking confesses.
âYouâre a good person,â he blurts instead. Whether the guilt or last cough pushed it out, thatâs still on the table. âYou donât suck at what you think you do.â
âYou think so?â
âWhy wouldnât I?âÂ
The hell? Does this dude really not see how successful he is? How much heâs overcome and conquered and sacrificed? Truthfully, Yoongi wouldnât be where he is today if not for your brother. Him. Jimin. You. Anybody. Which is what makes this ongoing betrayalâŠÂ
Unprecedented. Â
âYouâre the best out of all of us.âÂ
Your brother finally looks at him, though Yoongi isnât doing the same. But he can still tell when a fist is held out for him to bump, so he does.
And they both share a drink in respectful silence.Â
After a moment of them watching the tv, the man finally sighs. âGuess we did shape up pretty nice.â When heâs agreed with, he keeps going with a grin. âWe were so fucking bad.â
Yoongi can only chuckle, much better memories fighting off the terrors. âOld me was a little shit.â
âYou still are.â
âSays you!â
âI still am, too!â
Laughs precede big swigs of whisky and comfortable quiet. Bit by bit, shoulders start to relax with the surrounding air, and Yoongi lazily releases tension in his neck.Â
After a few more pours, your brother decides to call it, using the bathroom before announcing that heâs gonna head out. Yoongi gets up from his chair to clasp hands goodbye, not expecting to hear one more plea,
âBreak up with her, Yoong.âÂ
Shit. He sighs, and their conversation continues from the dining table to the front door. âItâs not like that.âÂ
âYeah?âÂ
âItâs over now.âÂ
âFor good?â As they stop beside the coat closet, your brother pins him with a look. âI was about to drive over and break down the door.â
Even though Yoongi shares a tsk with him, he canât help but imagine what couldâve happened if that was the case. And it sends an unwanted jolt of chills.Â
âSerious. Iâm gonna keep saying this, but. she was just making you miserable, dude.â He slips on his shoes, smacking his foot on the ground to push one in place. âIâm sure it was good at first, but I mean⊠You gotta move on. You deserve better than that.âÂ
Anything would be better than that. Yoongi just disagrees with the whole deserving part. âI guess.âÂ
âYou sure itâs over?â
âYeah,â he assures, because that is something he intends to keep true forever. âIt is.âÂ
âGood.â Keys jingling, your sibling then points into the open area with his whole arm, seven words leaving his mouth like ice,Â
âThen get rid of that fucking guitar.âÂ
Ah. Among all the things. Of course he would bring that up, too. Jaw working, Yoongi looks away, now assaulted by all the torturous thoughts surrounding that painful reminder and fighting them off with no success.Â
Get rid of it? Heâs been trying.Â
For three. Fucking. Months.Â
âI might.âÂ
ââŠK.âÂ
And his best friend departs, leaving Yoongi inside and staring at the same black spot heâs kept in the corner for years. It has mocked him as he struggles. Laughed at him whenever heâs tried to throw it out. And aside from the times heâs made you feel better stinging himself on those strings, he has accomplished nothing except letting it win.
Pissed off and doused in guilt, Yoongi yanks himself away from the door, the instrument, and everything else except for his bed.
Keeping his shadow exactly where it stands.Â
Yoongi knows he needs to talk to you.
But his phone exists somewhere on the other side of his bedroom door.
And he doesnât have the strength to go get it.Â
What time is it?Â
All that greets him is darkness.Â
Nothing new, but darkness all the same.Â
Why was she mentioned? What does that mean?Â
He needs to call you. Heâs lying to his best friend.Â
Her? You. His sheets still smell like you.Â
Inhale. Breathe. Inhale.Â
He needs to call you. But heâs so, so tired.Â
And the darkness pulls him back under.Â
Without even telling him the time.Â
Buzzing.Â
Faint, gentle buzzing softly lifts Yoongiâs eyelids before a loud series of smacks causes him to rush out of bed what the fuck?Â
Oh. His phone fell outside. Fucking hell, his heartâs beating way too quick for that to be the only thing that happened.Â
Head in his hands, Yoongi sighs deep before making his way to the dining table. And it takes all of his strength to bend down to reach for his phone.Â
Hustler: Missed Calls (6)
Dumbass: 1 Message
Hustler: 3 MessagesÂ
Chim: 7 Messages  Â
Chim: Missed Calls (3)Â
Holy fuck.Â
With only the light of his phone illuminating the dark, Yoongi rings Jimin up. His heartâs a little disappointed it wasnât you calling just now, but itâs probably best to stay away while his brain is so scattered and torn.Â
âOh, fuck. There you are.âÂ
âMm.âÂ
âDonât scare me like that, bro. I was starting to get ready to drive overââÂ
âItâs fine,â he juts in. âWhatâs up.âÂ
Alright, maybe he shouldnât be an asshole. Thereâs no reason to let his lingering shadow from earlier control his temper now. Jiminâs just being himself, for fuckâs sake.Â
âI, umm. I wanted to tell you Iâm sorry.âÂ
Now thatâs not what Yoongi expected at all. âFor what?âÂ
Thereâs another pause on the line, and his reaction is immediate when he knows for a fact Jimin is fighting back tears.Â
âI⊠I got so drunk last night, IâAnd Iââ
Shit. A sinking feeling starts to weigh Yoongi down, his center pulling the rest of him in like a black hole. And he doesnât need to hear the rest of this to know what this call is about.Â
âHe was looking for her, Yoong, and you werenât there, either. He had this look, IâI couldnât think of anything else to say in the moment and I told himââ
Jimin canât even finish his confession. And it hits right in the gut.Â
Despite his perceived persona, Yoongi doesnât like hearing people cry. At least, if they donât deserve to or donât deserve to be sadâor if theyâre you. He could care less about the rest.
But Jimin is one of the only people that can get him like this: eyes stinging at their edges and his chest concave. In the dark, though, no one can tell. No one can see him.
So he can openly swipe at his eyes before dumping tired limbs into a chair, catching his forehead in a damp palm.Â
âIâm an idiot. Iâm sorry.âÂ
Exhaling through his nose, Yoongi tries his best to calm his emotions. Because they are still raging and itâs going to take all of him to quell this tempest.Â
Jimin knows more than anyone what this means to him. To you. The time you spent apart? If it wasnât for his friend, Yoongi may have been in a much different position. If this was the only thing Park could do, then his effort has to be acknowledged. It worked like a fucking charm.
But goddamn, Yoongi wishes Jimin thought of literally anything else. He couldâve made up some random, some fling from another city, the damn studio itself.Â
âDonât worry about it,â he finally rasps out. âItâs just been a fuckinâ day.âÂ
Jimin sniffles before cursing at himself and, judging by the sounds on the line, Yoongi figures heâs opening his fridge. If he reaches for soju, that would not be surprising in the least, and now that sounds like a good idea.
âSame. Gah, I just⊠I shouldâve warned you. I didnât know he went over there.âÂ
âHe told you?âÂ
âI called him after you didnât answer earlier.âÂ
âOh. Yeah, I passed out after he left.âÂ
âAh.âÂ
Something shuts before thereâs a crisp clink on the line, validating exactly what Yoongi was thinking.Â
âI really am sorry. What did you end up saying?âÂ
âThat itâs done.âÂ
A hum.Â
âThatâs very true.âÂ
Thereâs a question that Yoongi thinks to ask. Context that he needs. But as important as this information is, Yoongi doesnât feel like talking about it right now. Or ever. But now still counts. So he switches the conversation over to something less daunting, âPractice still on tomorrow?âÂ
When Jimin laughs out of surprise, it gives Yoongi the smallest kick of energy.
âAh, someone actually ready to go for once?âÂ
âYeah. The plan is to make this game quick.âÂ
A hearty swallow spills out of the speaker before a hum follows,Â
âMm, that reminds me. Got something that might help with that.âÂ
What the hell does that even mean? âHuh?âÂ
âIâll bring it over tomorrow. You might find some good uses for it.â
Yoongi rubs the grogginess still clinging to his face. âAll these years and youâve never given me a straight answer.âÂ
âWhereâs the fun in that?âÂ
âKnowing the answer.âÂ
At least Jiminâs back in a good mood. Or a better state than puffy-eyed and regretful. He doesnât have to share the pain in this, too. It was an honest mistake.Â
âYouâll know it when you see it.âÂ
âAnnoying.â
âLove you, too!âÂ
Yoongiâs huff billows through his nose, and Jiminâs energy almost brings enough strength for him to clear the table.Â
Ehh. Heâll leave it alone. Heâs been pretty good at that lately, too, no matter how early or late it is in the night. What time even is it? Checking his phone, Yoongiâs brows crease when he figures that out. Why the hell are they even on a call right now? âWait, is it really three?âÂ
âHuh? Yeah. Iâm telling you, dude, I was getting worried.âÂ
He was really about to drive over? âSorry. I really did just pass out.âÂ
âMm. Well, Iâm gonna go do that now.âÂ
âK. Same time tomorrow?âÂ
âAh, a little earlier. Just so I can give this to you before everyone else shows.âÂ
That just makes Yoongi infinitely more curious. âSeriously, what did you get?âÂ
âRelax! You will like it.âÂ
âChim, I swearââ
âYouâll thank me later bye!â
As soon as Jimin disappears from the line, Yoongi is left alone again.
Exactly where he always ends up.Â
Exactly where he doesnât want to be.Â
But now that heâs done dealing with those notifications, Yoongi roams lidded eyes over his screen again.Â
Wait. You called him six times? Fuck. What did you text? Were you wondering where he was, too?Â
Hustler [20:01]: HOLY FUCK!! my phone died after i tried calling you this morning and i just fully woke up to charge itđ heâs not home so call whenever Â
Yoongi clutches his phone a little tighter.Â
He very much wouldâve rather been in your bed with you all day.Â
That sounds like fucking bliss.Â
Hustler [23:37]: tried calling but heâs home now. are you ok?? idk whatâs going on with him but i think we need to be careful
Shit, Yoongi didnât get to tell you. Youâve probably been worried about that every second youâve been awake today.Â
And he couldnât even make it out of his goddamn room to help.Â
All he comes with is worries for you. What kind of shit is this? What is he even doing? He even outright told you that you were dating only for that to be ripped from your hands for months. Why are you still giving someone like him a chance?Â
Hustler [23:40]: but all i wanna do is see you
Fucking hell.
Nothing in the world can stop his heartbeat quite like you can. With that smile, or those eyes, or the simple shit like this. Not even lightning can strike him the same way.Â
Despite the consistency Yoongi has with admitting his own shortcomings, and despite the way he keeps reminding himself he doesnât deserve youâŠ
All he wants to do is see you, too.Â
Youâve been more than he ever wouldâve imaginedâyour consideration, your intellect, your mind. And there have been times when youâd look at him as if he was the center of your galaxy.Â
After all this time. All these days and nights.Â
You still donât realize that he was destined to orbit you. Â
Itâs been decided long before his mind was made upâat least, the part of him that doesnât traverse the dark side. His heart had been tugging him to you ever since that rainy day, no matter where heâs drifted or which direction heâs gone in. All of them lead back into your arms.Â
But just like the feeling he gets walking into the recording booth, imposter syndrome eats him alive and doubt scavenges on whatâs left.Â
He will never be good enough for you. One of these days, you will realize that you donât have to settle for him. Itâs good now, but youâll only give him so many chances, which he is swiftly running through at breakneck speeds.Â
How fucking stupid. Having these thoughts while wanting nothing more than to hear your voice.Â
Just like everyone else, youâll eventually be done passing through. His winter will return after your inevitable departure, all the warmth you give focused on something else that deserves it more.Â
Something that isnât broken.Â
Yoongi whips his head up at the sound of buzzing, noticing thin lines of light beneath his phone on the table.Â
What. No way.Â
From the rapid beats inside his chest, he shoots his hopes right into the dark.Â
And they burst into beautiful sparks when he reads his screen.Â
Hustler: Incoming CallÂ
But just like the streaks of color he witnessed with you on that balcony, his brightness is short lived. Because as soon as Yoongi answers, the way your throat constricts scorches his windpipe through.
And the first thing you attempt to get through makes his eyes shut tight.Â
âAre we⊠is this over?âÂ
Fuck.
âI get it, if we are. If youâif you donât wanna do this with me anymore.âÂ
Fuck. Fuck everything this is not happening right now. âHold up,â Yoongi breathes, body on full alert. âWhatâs going on?âÂ
âI thought⊠When you werenât picking up, Iââ
âBreathe, babe,â Yoongi softens, hating, hating, hating himself all over again. âI passed out before you called. Thatâs it.âÂ
âOh. Shit, I really thoughtââ
âYou would know,â he whooshes, syllables squeezed out by the mountain of regret on his back. After hearing what he put you through? Hearing how you sound now? Thereâs no way he can do that shit again. No more disappearing from the grid because he canât fight himself. âYou would know if I was done.âÂ
Your sniffle sinks the ship with his heart inside.Â
âAre you? With me?âÂ
Yoongi folds, fingers digging through his hair and blocking it in hard chunks. The amount of things he wants to say to you could wrap the whole world before repeating. But he settles with a truth he can say out loud,Â
âNo way in hell, doll.âÂ
Please. Donât cry. Because he can only handle feeling his eyes sting so much in one night. Thereâs only so much he can take before heâs grabbing his keys and speeding overâfriends and brothers be damned.Â
âOkay⊠Iâm just. Itâs been a day.âÂ
Thatâs okay.Â
Because heâs had a day, too.Â
âI donât wanna bother you with it, though, itâs so late.âÂ
Please keep going.Â
Please donât leave him alone.Â
âTalk to me.âÂ
Like a gentle stream, your recapâthough not idealâwashes away the weariness from Yoongiâs eyes. Lifts the weight he bears on his shoulders, even if just a little bit.Â
Youâre so good at that.Â
âWell. Umm. He saw me coming home this morning. And, umm. It was weird. I donât know why but I think we have to be really careful. And ugh, itâ. It sucks because heâs going on a trip soon and I donât wanna stress him out even more but IââÂ
Shit, youâve probably been holding all of this in ever since you got up. You donât know that your brother believes something entirely different. But of course youâd be considerate, even now. Thatâs just who you are.
âI, umm. I feel so fucking bad about it but I donât wanna mess him up right now. Or maybe he knows but just wonât say it? Fuck, sorry, Iâm trying notâtoââ Â
The phone goes mute, and Yoongiâs head suddenly weighs ten times heavier.Â
âHe doesnât know, babe,â he soothes, hating how he canât be there to comfort you with more than his word and waves in the sky.Â
If he was stronger, things could be different by now. Vastly different. Vastly better. You would cry less, he knows that for damn sure. Weak, weak, weak. Thatâs all he fucking is.Â
The only one he seems to be strong for is you. âHe came over earlier.âÂ
âFuck, really?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
You pause, seemingly to roll this information around that beautiful mouth of yours, and Yoongi has the strongest yearning to kiss all your worries right out of it.Â
âWhat did he say?âÂ
Shit. Youâll just have to forgive him later. Because Yoongi chooses not to tell the whole truth. You donât need to bear the same worries as him, anyway. They arenât yours. He will shoulder all of those on his own. Because heâs the reason for them in the first place. âNothing about us.âÂ
âOh, thank fuck.âÂ
Good. Your relief is all that matters. But Yoongi still feels bad for not being able to pick himself up. You couldâve known that a lot sooner if he was stronger. If he was better. âSo donât worry, doll.âÂ
âOkay. What about you? Are you okay?âÂ
Huh? Your questions catch him completely off-guard. Itâs almost comical how his first reaction goes straight to a No. But sticking to his earlier stances, he wonât bother you with any of that. There is a truth that he can admit. One thatâs always true and will continue to be so. âJust wanna see you.âÂ
And this is when his eyes slowly shut. Donât. Donât cry.
âMe, too, baby.âÂ
Hearing that? Chipped and broken from your lips? That is another thing Yoongi canât handle. His heart beats once before it free falls, and he clutches his phone just a little tighter.Â
Fuck everything. Heâs gonna find a way to do this. All of it.
âIâll figure it out.â
âYou will?â
Heâll figure out how to move mountains to make it up to both you and your brother.Â
âJust a little longer.â
He has to.
âOkay.â
Neither of you deserve this. And he doesnât deserve either of you. Truly, the only thing he deserves is to be alone. And judging by the way things are going, itâs only a matter of time before you start resenting this behavior and leave, too.Â
âThank you.â
What? Something in Yoongi flickers, and he lifts his whole head to eye his screen.Â
âFor putting up with me.â
Oh. Of course youâd assume youâre the issue. Seems like you need the same type of assurance that he does. Both of you the same? Who wouldâve thought his bruised soul would sync up with a perfect one like yours.Â
At this, he holds his breath before chuckling soft. âThis has been the highlight of my day, doll,â he admits, finally breaking into a tiny smile and sitting back.
âReally?â
Wait. There was another good part of his day. But he wants to save that for when he can tell you in person. âOne of them. But youâll hear about the other one later.â
âBoo.â
Cute. Wait, isnât it absurdly late? You have to be up for work in mere hours. Itâs a miracle you reached out when you did. âDonât you have to be up soon?â
âA ha⊠Yeah.âÂ
âWhat are you still talking to me for?âÂ
âI miss you.âÂ
Well. Thatâs not something that he expected. And your admittance being so immediate actually sends shivers down his arms.Â
Yoongi can only laugh to himself. He knew he had it bad, but this feeling is something else. âDonât do that.âÂ
âDonât do what? Miss you? Yeah, right.â Â
God. Youâre getting too fucking good at this. Heâs gotta fight back or else his throne will be taken before he even sees you again. âJust a bad night to say it, doll.âÂ
âWhy?âÂ
Perfect. âCus Iâm willing to get in the car.âÂ
âFuck.âÂ
Yoongi happily lets his mouth slant when you groan, chuckling into the receiver and getting up to clear the table. When he flicks on the kitchen light, he doubles down, âWanna try again?âÂ
He knows youâre gonna say no. Even though your brother doesnât know, itâs definitely not a proper time to sneak you outâas much as he fucking wants to. Fuck, to be the one sneaking you out of your house⊠Maybe thereâs another version of you both out there thatâs done it. A version of him watching a version of you creeping out to his car, face shining in nightfall and etching a permanent smile into his heart.
âI hate you.âÂ
Yoongi shouldâve expected that. The sudden laugh that flings out into his liquor cabinet ricochets off multiple bottles, and he shuts it while sporting a wide grin. âThatâs better.âÂ
âHa ha.âÂ
Youâre smiling, too. Cute ass. Just the fact that he knows makes him excited for the future, and heâs determined to make it count. Make it worth it. You deserve every goddamn apology he can give. âI miss you, too, babe,â he whispers, grabbing the glasses from the table to wash in his sink.Â
âNu uh! You hate me, too.âÂ
Wait. Did youâŠ
Did you just pout?Â
Hell no, thatâs outright cheating. Thatâs when Yoongi will never be able to win. Putting the phone down, he promptly states his new plan into a basin, âNah, Iâm going to sleep.âÂ
âWait, huh? Why!âÂ
âNothing.âÂ
âI swear to godââÂ
âNothing at all,â Yoongi lies, voice straight as he can muster while hot water runs over his hands. Itâs a good kind of sting as his chilled skin adjusts, and he cleans one glass before he hears you ask in his ear,Â
âGetting ready for bed? Or are you in the kitchen?âÂ
The smallest smile graces his face. âGuess.âÂ
âKitchen.âÂ
The hell? âHowâd you know?âÂ
âYouâre always in there.âÂ
Canât deny that. The glasses are both set to dry in the dishwasher as Yoongiâs amusement dies down, and his next comment flows out before he can think much of it, âYou like to keep me in here.âÂ
âIt does seem to be where we end up, huh?âÂ
âIt does.â Which is fine by him. Heâll never forget all the times youâve been in here. Your laughter and your storms, he will remember them all.Â
âThe world said let them cook.âÂ
Your giggles will be the fucking end of him one day. Fuck, he canât wait to see you. He may even find a way to see you before the game.Â
But for now, Yoongi will figure out how to talk to you, every day, no matter what. Texts, calls, whatever the fuck. The effort has got to show from now on. No more of this dark headspace shit. He needs to try harder and figure it out faster. For you.Â
âGo to sleep, doll,â he huffs with full cheeks.Â
After another adorable batch of sounds, you rustle on the line before sighing,Â
âYou better sleep, too.â
âI will.âÂ
With a blink, Yoongi notices two things. One, he just cleared his table and cleaned up without even thinking. And two, despite feeling like absolute shit the entire day and dreading the coming of night, falling asleep wonât be an issue.Â
Because of you. Itâs always you.Â
Maybe thereâs a way out. Maybe he can finally face it all and come out on the other side. âTalk to you tomorrow, babe.â
âIâd like that. And youâre sure he doesnât know?â
Just like that, the demons are knocking again. Closing his eyes, Yoongi murmurs into the receiver, âIâm sure.âÂ
There will come a time when he will tell you. But that will be way in the future, when he is ready. For now, youâll just have to trust that heâs telling the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough for it to calm your nerves.Â
âOkay. Good night, baby.â
One more heartbeat to get him through the night.Â
âNight, doll.â
When the phone cuts, Yoongiâs hand falls, his stare shifting straight to the living room.Â
Right towards the corner that stares back.Â
Itâs been five days.
But it feels like youâve aged twenty-eight years.
Ever since your brother confronted youâafter your much needed reunion with his best friendâyouâve been floating through time. Lost. Confused. Wondering why that conversation went the way it did and gnawing at your sanity bit by bit.Â
And even though Yoongi explicitly told you he didnât say anything concerning your relationship, you still havenât shaken that feeling. No matter where you are, who youâre with, or on a pretty Friday like this one, you feel⊠Strange.Â
When you saw your brother waiting, you for sure thought you were gonna get grilled. It was a given you were gonna break as soon as he started asking deeper and more specific questions. The fallout was gonna happen in your own house right at your door.Â
âŠSo what in the fuck was that?
You shift your legs, the chill of the office failing to comfort you in your manufactured, building distress.Â
Somehow, that version of the conversation proved much, much worse. Because now youâre spiraling trying to figure out why he just took your lie as the truth. Truthfully, you feel nauseous. And as much as you need to get some semblance of closure, you still feel hesitant. Because if heâs just biding time? Heâs not just thinking about what to do with you.Â
Heâs thinking about what to do with Yoongi, too.Â
This is so hard.Â
The only thingâthe only thingâkeeping you grounded. Is Yoongi himself.Â
Ever since the call you never thought heâd answer, youâve been contacted every night. What was once days of radio silence quickly shifted to him reaching out however he could, hours of the day be damned. Just last night, in fact, Yoongi sent you texts at four in the morning, and you beam just thinking about what he said so casually. Â
Yoongi [3:57am]: That keyboard I told you about is fucking dope. Just got it today and it wonât let me sleep lmaooo
Yoongi [3:58am]: I was gonna say sorry for texting but fuck it youâre getting all the updates :)Â
No matter what it is, be it a text, call, or video chat, Yoongi seems fully committed and in the moment. Present. And itâs been⊠Really nice. If you didnât have your brotherâs shadow hovering over your brain, life would be practically perfect.Â
Forcing yourself to actually work, you manage to get some small things done. Even the meeting you attend goes smoothly and you leave any outside worries on the other side of those glass walls.
So when you get back to your desk, an awaiting paper bag makes you pause. And your whole body prepares to weep.
Only one person has ever sent you food while youâre at work. And staring inside the parcel, you wouldâve been able to tell who it was from even if said person had never sent any before.
Thereâs a small note on top of a to-go containerâone that you immediately recognize as that super good restaurant next to Jungkookâs studio.Â
What the hell? How did Yoongi know you wanted some this whole week but didnât wanna risk being so close? With careful fingers, you pluck the tiny paper from the bag, opening it with care before your eyes get so teary eyed you canât even read.
Tonight. Â
This man.
I got the next one.
This wonderful, charming man.Â
But youâre getting what I need so hereâs the list:
Goddamn it, Min Yoongi.Â
Seeing an actual list of food squeezes a laugh through your throat in a squeak, tears rushing out of your ducts before theyâre hastily swiped.Â
After five days. Yoongi really just sent you on a grocery run to surprise you with another meetup.
The gesture is so him that you cannot help but shake your head, ruefully huffing to no one and pocketing the note in your bag. And all your worries scatter even further.Â
A dinner before the big game is risky, for sure, but at this point you couldnât care less. Your brother has his own work outing tonight, anyway, and you are dead set on breaking all of this to him soon.
Even though you are very much unprepared. And he is going to lose his fucking mind if he doesnât know already. Fuck.
Youâve had all five days to think it over. All the possible combinations and possibilities and outcomes. Some of them are extreme, some of them are hopeful. But for a majority of these projections, you have a feeling that none of you are gonna leave it without wounds.Â
And you donât know how youâre gonna save both of them if theirs are cut too deep.Â
Regardless, thatâs in the future. Not now. Right now, you are staying in the present and working like molasses until you can jet out the door, nary a care nor concern weighing on your heels.
Tonight. Heâs gonna cook for you?
Youâll have the first substantial meal youâve had in months.
Even though you want nothing more than to see Yoongi, your nerves are still buzzing and bumping into each other nonstop. Thereâs a lot you still need to know. Like why he was radio silent for months, and why your brother has been a little weird this whole week.Â
Save it for later. Hopefully Yoongi will tell you why eventually. Or that gap will stay elusive to your brain forever.
Sliding into your car, you dump your bag in the passenger seat before pulling out the list, clutching it close and taking a leap that could either calm your nerves or spike them.Â
Yoongi: Outgoing CallÂ
When he picks up, you legitimately donât answer. Because even after all this time, you still canât quite function when you hear that deep voice addressing you directly.Â
âHey.âÂ
All you have to do is say something. Anything. You could rattle off the damn list, stumbling over all the syllables just like theyâre currently smushed together in your fingers.Â
But you donât snap out of this trance until he speaks again.Â
âHello?âÂ
âHi,â you squeak out, clearing your throat while watching other people walk to their cars. âHi, sorry. I just umm.âÂ
You just what? Somehow lost all sense of language just from him saying hi? Get it together. Stop that racket in your stomach and say what you were gonna say. âThank you for the food. Iâm off work now so Iâm heading to the store.âÂ
He simply huffs a quiet laugh.
âGet whatever you want, too. Just let me know how much it is.âÂ
Huh. Did Yoongi just say all those words in that order? If you heard him right, forget the damn food. Youâre close to speeding directly to his place and breaking down the motherfucking door. âOh, I definitely will,â you respond with instead of hauling ass, the words pushing through your lingering smile. âAnd donât worry about that, I got it.âÂ
âYou sure?âÂ
âYeah! I got big girl money now.âÂ
Yoongi laughs again on the line, fuller and closer this time. Are you on speaker?Â
âItâs like that? Maybe I should work there, too.âÂ
âOh, youâd hate it,â you giggle, scheming hard in your head for tonight already. Pretty bubbles in your ribs lift all your spirits. âIâm actually pretty bossy here.â
The groan that seeps through your car should be illegal.Â
âThat is literally what Iâve been wanting to see.âÂ
Itâs your turn to chuckle as you finally make your way out of the parking lot, heading right to the market that you know for a fact has all of what heâs asking for. âIâm only that way at work, though.âÂ
âDo better.âÂ
Your immediate response makes his laugh crunchy in the speakers, and you go along with him because life is good. Life is fucking great right now. âNever mind, youâre paying. And Iâm getting stuff for dessert now, too.âÂ
âWhat? Who said anything about dessert?âÂ
âMe,â you huff out in pride. Since he wants to see that demanding side come out so bad. With a fleeting thought, you think about what it could be like if you end up confident enough toâÂ
âIâm starting to regret this.â
âRegret what?â
âEverything.â
Liar! Your cheeks hurt as you look both ways before making a turn. âCanât fool me. Youâre excited.â
âI am.â
The way there was no hesitation sends shivers up your spine. But itâs partly because you thought youâd be faced with another joke or dig. Not a sudden one-eighty. Stopping at a light, you clear your throat before shyness puffs right out of it. âWell, good,â you state while checking your mirrors. âCus I am, too.âÂ
âThatâs a given, though.â
âExcuse you.â
Yoongi laughs before you hear the sound of cabinets, and you wonder which ones he could be touching.Â
âMm, babe. One more thing.âÂ
Can he stop making your heart beat two times at once? âHmm?â
Thereâs a little bit of pause, followed by the clank of a pan on metal. When you hear another hum, you wonder what he could possiblyâ
âI think weâre out of condoms.âÂ
Who is out of what. If you werenât still at a red, your foot wouldâve slammed on the gas because what the fuck! All you can manage out are sounds without substance, random syllables, gibberish. Nothing is computing in your head.Â
âWait. Or are we?â
Okay, Yoongi needs to stop with that two-letter word before your behavior turns downright criminal. With as much seriousness as you can manage, you accuse, âAre you just fucking with me?â
And his response launches you forward just as the light turns green,Â
âYeah. Thatâs why weâre out ofââ
âAlright!â you cut in, stopping stopping stopping him because for whatever reason, this conversation is too much. Despite seeing this very man naked in many, many ways, just having this talk with him is making you shier than ever before. âGuess Iâll, umm. Get those, too.â
âNah, you donât have to.â
âOh. Found some?â
âNo.â
Wait. If he didnât find some why is he telling you that you donât have toâ âOh,â you peep in realization. A very sudden, jaw dropping realization. âGoddamn it, youâre too distracting now, bye.â
And he finally breaks with laughter thatâs contagious as hell. Which isnât fair when youâre pretending to be upset with him. Even when you canât see Yoongi, you can imagine the way his cheeks rise and his eyes crease. The way the whole room illuminates when heâs packed with happiness.Â
And you want that to be the case forever.Â
âYouâre just lucky Iâm not there with you.âÂ
âYeah, youâd be annoying as hell.âÂ
âDamn!âÂ
As the market comes into view, your teeth shine as you grin, roasting this man quickly becoming one of your favorite pastimes.Â
âTo be fair,â you start to amend, fingers drumming on the wheel as you decide whether or not to say what you want. After deciding that thereâs no wrong answer here, you softly admit, âI really do wanna get groceries with you.âÂ
Thereâs no words that come out in response. Only the slight movements of shuffling and water running and what could be more cabinets closing. But you donât really know for sureâ
âItâs gonna happen, doll.âÂ
You clutch the wheel.
âCus I want that, too.â
One of these days youâre gonna see this damn cat again.Â
Foot connecting with Yoongiâs door, you grunt as multiple bags burden your limbs, pride digging divots along your armsâsecond trips be damned.Â
It doesnât take long for him to let you in anyway, and you swoon at the way he doesnât even ask while taking some of your baggage. But the kiss on your cheek makes your heart bang into everything between the front door and the kitchen. Itâs so distracting that you barely smell the spices greeting you, too.Â
âThanks for getting all this,â Yoongi says as you both cross onto tile. Â
âOf course.â Lifting the much lighter load that you have, you revel in the small thumps and thuds on his counter. Not really knowing why. âLetâs put this up before I yell at you.â
His laugh comes out in hisses while you both start reaching into bags. âFor what!âÂ
âSent me everywhere to find some of this shit.âÂ
âYou couldâve asked somebody.âÂ
Feeling a bit silly and high off his presence already, you repeat his words in a goofy mocking tone, and the way he blows out air sends your belly fluttering.Â
And just like that, things are back to normal again. No worries about your sibling, or work, or anything else looming by the door. Inside is what matters, and the whole apartment fills with jabs and jokes as groceries find their homes.
But Yoongi finds a bag you had separated from the rest, and you snap your mouth shut when he looks inside, something rising in your core when he turns to you with an eyebrow raised. And a smirk so salacious it makes you quiver.Â
âWhat about it,â you squeak out, crumbling when he simply takes the bag and flings it through his bedroom door. âYou said youâwe were out, soâŠâÂ
âThatâs a big box, doll,â he points out on his way to your tightly bitten lip. Mouth slicing through your sanity, he approaches you with a glint in his eyes. âGot something you wanna say?âÂ
âNope,â you whoosh out oh god he looks way too hot in those sweats wait is that a growing bulge? âAlthough I will say it took me forever to pick out whatââ
Sparks ignite your hands when your lips are claimed, launching them into his shirt and tugging him backward because youâve been waiting way too long to kiss the shit out of him.Â
And Yoongi responds in kind, pinning you to his fridge and so, very obvious that heâs been waiting for this, too.Â
Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. How to imitate this treasured yearning that only he can pull from the depths of your ocean. Deep, deeper, deepest. All these kisses. Your ascending affection.Â
âAs much as I wanna throw you on my bed,â Yoongi jokes, pulling away and giving your cheek a light tap. âIâm taking you somewhere.âÂ
And youâre so thrown from the impact that your brain mini-resets. âHuh? Weâre leaving?â
âUh huh.â
Hold on. Wait. Is this what he meant when he said heâs getting the next one? Youâre going out to eat? Together? No. No, thereâs no way. Yoongi knows thatâs the worst possible thing to do right now, as much as the idea is sending your belly in a frenzy. âAre you sure? What about dinner? Wonât people⊠You know.â
âItâs ready already,â he reveals. âBy the door.âÂ
Your head snaps to where he points out, even though you canât see through the bar. âReally?â No wonder it smells like a cooking aftermath. All those smells twirling around your head. How did you not even catch the dishes in the sink?Â
But hold up, you just bought a shit ton of food! âThen what the hell was the run for?â
Yoongi blinks. Then he does it again. Expression stone still, he responds as if you were privy to his plans this entire time, âI told you to get what I needed.âÂ
Your turn to blink.
âAnd I needed food.â
This man is going to be the death of you. Affronted, your jaw hangs before you grit through a smile that betrays you, âOh, youââÂ
âSo thanks,â he quips through another tilt of his lips. âLetâs go, doll.âÂ
The begrudged sound that leaves you makes him kick his head back on the way out the kitchen.Â
âEat.â
The container on your thighs warms you through. âNow?â
âMm.â
âI can wait,â you assure, watching as night paints the surrounding scenery in navy and black. âWe can eat together.âÂ
âJust a bite then.âÂ
Turning to Yoongi, you donât see a change in his face as he eyes the road. The veins in his arm catch all the streetlight, and you gulp before your gaze falls to what he made. Music fills the car, and you decide that maybe you do feel a little hungry. So you listen to instruction, popping it open and being careful as you pluck a piece to try.Â
Thereâs no denying it. This motherfucker is a chef. âFuck, this is good.âÂ
Your borderline moan sends Yoongiâs shoulders bobbing, and you will never get over those low, gravelly laughs. âSorry.â Your hand hovers over your mouth in embarrassment. âI donât react like that unless Iâm alone.â
âI donât mind.â
âYeah, well,â you swallow. âCourse you donât.â
A tiny peek of teeth show as Yoongi smiles, and you donât expect what he offers next, âJust be you, doll. Itâs just me.â
The next bite of food pauses on the way to your mouth. âOh,â you murmur. âSame for you then.â
âNah.â
âWhy not?â
âCus we wouldnât make it to where weâre going.â
That was legitimately the worst time to put food in your mouth. Sputtering, your words come out low and chortled, âYou fucker.â
His hisses are brief before he dips into silence again. As he slowly turns the wheel, you can see a glimpse of something deep in his eyes. âIâm sorry,â he suddenly apologizes, swallowing as you keep your gaze.Â
What is that look? Werenât you both just having a good time? âFor what, baby?âÂ
âEverything.âÂ
Your lungs flinch. This is definitely not what you expected to hear on the way to wherever the hell youâre going. âOh.âÂ
Yoongi still doesnât look your way, and with each pass of a light over his face, you catch quick snapshots of those eyes youâre still so shy of. âI, umm. I didnât expect shit to pan out this way.âÂ
âItâs okay,â you whisper.Â
After a slow motion of disagreement, his head falls forward just a bit. And your eyes find his hand clutching the gear shift in what you sadly think is frustration. âIâve just thought about some things,â he starts, another song playing. âHow worried you mustâve been.âÂ
You look forward. Because this is the part where you canât face him. âI was. But not for the same reason as last time.â Without a hesitation of your own, your palm reaches between your seats. And you can tell Yoongi watches as you take his hand to hold.Â
âI was worried about you,â you correct with softness. âIt was hard because I didnât know what to do.â Donât fucking cry. You filled quite a few buckets already. âWhen you started not really saying much, I just⊠Hoped it was for a good reason, so. Yeah.âÂ
You feel your hand gently pulled, which is already enough to make you melt. But when itâs kissed, you donât know what the hell to fucking do.Â
âIâm sorry, doll,â Yoongi whispers into your skin, lips brushing with every syllable and painting a canvas of his reconcile. âI wonât leave you hanging like that again.âÂ
Thereâs a tiny fire in the back of your throat, the embers reaching your eyes just a little too aggressively. You attempt to squash the growing flames before they flare. âOh. Umm. Thank you.â What else do you say? Yoongiâs being wonderful, but why do you feel⊠sad? Why is there lingering snow on your windowsill? âWere you worried?âÂ
âMe? Umm.â He stops at a light that he clearly didnât want to stop at. Resting your conjoined hands on his pliant thigh, his jaw works as he observes them.
And you wonder if he thinks they slot together perfectly, too.Â
ââŠYeah.âÂ
Fuck. âAbout what?âÂ
âThat youâd hate me.âÂ
Your heart meshes his fingers with yours. âYoongi.âÂ
âOr that you shouldnât be with someone thatâs gone this much.âÂ
Fuck, heâs doing it again. Regressing. Youâve seen it happen in his kitchen and youâll be damned if all that work, all that peeling, all that resolution amounted to nothing wait, wait, stop. This isnât gonna be an overnight fix. And you have no clue whatâs been happening, so just keep trying, trying, trying.Â
âIâm used to people leaving,â you joke, but not really. âLike seasons.âÂ
He whips his head to you, and you backpedal because that probably sounded so random. Youâve got to think about filtering your thoughts a little more now that youâre getting comfortable. Yoongi says you can be yourself, sure, but you have to admit your quirks are a little out there. âI know itâs weird, but..âÂ
Heâs quiet as the light turns green. And when you donât finish, he admits, âI think the same.âÂ
âYou do?âÂ
Your hand is brushed as a hum peppers it from above. âMmhmm.âÂ
âWell.â Thatâs interesting. You didnât know anyone thought about that stuff like you did. Now you wonder if thereâs anywhere else your wavelengths sync, and if theyâve been syncing up all this time. âAt least you come back.âÂ
Yoongi squeezes your hand tight before he holds it against his lips. Again. Fuck, this is a lot. Youâre so wrapped up in his gesture that you donât catch what he whispers.Â
âHmm?âÂ
He glances at the center console before putting your hand back on his thigh.Â
âAlways, doll.âÂ
And the fire you stepped on rages back with a vengeance. Heat and sting surrounds your eyes, and you donât hide how you press your feelings into his skin. âMe, too.âÂ
If you werenât lost in the surrounding scenery outside, you would have caught Yoongiâs look. But all you feel is his hand clutching you tight, and it breaks you down all the same.Â
The rest of the drive is spent with him telling you to eat more, and a bunch of your sing-alongs to almost every song that comes on. It seems like the tiny bit of closure opened you both up, and you donât even realize that youâve been on the road for a really long time.Â
But finally, Yoongi pulls up to a building, and youâre haphazardly rapping along to a song before you notice. Wait. What? He drove you to a rec center?Â
Your fingers curl around his forearm before you even notice. âWhatâs this?âÂ
âWhere weâre going.â
Hold on, youâre going inside? âAre we even allowed to be here?â
When Yoongi responds, his teeth make you shiver as he smirks. âCanât say for sure, no.â
âThen whyââ
He unlocks before you can finish, and youâre left in an empty car until he rounds the hood, coming over to your side and opening the door. You almost donât hear what he says next, too focused on the jewelry swinging from his neck as he bends forward.Â
But you catch it, and glance once more at the sight in front of you before biting your lipâin nervousness or excitement, you canât decide.
âYou cominâ?â
Damn. Obviously, you want nothing more than to see him here. And itâs much too late for anyone to be around. But if something happens⊠Whatever.Â
Your mouth finally unsticks. âIf we get caught, youâre gonna pay for this.â
And you canât resist his stupid grin. âNow get your pretty ass out before I put you in the back.âÂ
âYoongi!â
Grinning, he leads you out, and you follow him to the trunk. After bouncing his stowed ball a couple times, he decides to lean in and reach for something else.Â
Wait. Is that what you think it is? âDid you always have that in there?â you ask, pointing to the contraption that Yoongiâs using to air up his basketball.
And he does a horrible job at suppressing a smile. Which makes you burst into flutters and beats beats beats. âYou liar!â Oh, you are gonna wipe those laughs from his throat. âI had to change up my plans because of you!â
Palming the ball, Yoongi tilts his head dangerously to one side. âAnd I got to see you,â he proudly claims. âSo Iâll take it.â
You hate how the memories come packaged with whatâs haunted you. What else happened during that time, and what happened after you left. But thereâs no way youâre gonna bring that up. Not when the night has transformed into something so magical.Â
So you just clutch your food and lean on his car, opting to compliment him to wipe the murk away. âGot to see you, too,â you puff into the brisk night. Because you harbor a bit of nostalgia in your bones. And because he still makes you shy. âYou and your stupid hair.â
Another bout of hisses wisp into your side. As you turn to regard Yoongi again, he slips his chains into his hoodie before continuing, and you swoon at the veins popping out of his skin with each pump.Â
How can he look so perfect doing the simplest things? So unfair.Â
After seconds that feel like an hour, Yoongiâs done. And he scans the parking lot before telling you to follow him.Â
What you expect is some outdoor courts. Maybe getting past a gate or two. So when you approach a back door lit by the shine of a single light, you freeze. âAre we really going in?â
Fishing something out of his pocket, Yoongi simply turns over his shoulder. âYeah. Why not?â
âOh.â You didnât think youâd actually get inside the building. If there was an outside court just as accessible it wouldâve made sense. Can you even bring food in here? Is that question even relevant? âNo reason.â
âSo I shouldnât bust in?â
Huh. âWhat?â
âIâve already done it a few times, so.â
âWait!â Nerves throw your hand on his bicep before you can stop. âWhat if someone sees us?â
Heâs so warm. And so toned. And if he plans on taking his hoodie off? Youâre not prepared for whatever the hell he has underneath.Â
Voice softened, Yoongi tries to placate your paranoia, âThey wonât, doll.â
âAre you sure? If we get caught here theyâre gonna call the police and I am definitely not⊠GonnaâŠâ
The object in his hand jangles, and you clearly see he was just joking the whole time because keysâkeysâstare you in the face.Â
What is it with him and keys?Â
When Yoongi speaks, you feel like youâve never done anything bad in your life, and suddenly the thought of trespassing with an official way in is so scandalous,Â
âYou picked the wrong night to be a good girl.â
You have to admit. Seeing him so mischievous and dashing makes you wanna follow him wherever the hell he goes. Even if it gets you in trouble. Even if you were breaking in tonight, you would be all in. And that thought should frighten you, but it only does because of the wings tickling your rib cage.Â
How can he make you feel rebellious and yet still so shy? The power of Min Yoongi. Heâs way too good at destroying you.
When you glare, the man only grins, hisses of laughter leaving him way too happily before he unlocks the door to no alarms or sirens. He doesnât need to throw a wink your way, too, but of course he does as he lets you in. Which causes you to float through the dark entryway instead of walk oh he did not just slap your ass!
A jolt in your cunt causes you to regard him in shock. To which he hums in a feigned question. âHmm?â
With nothing but darkness and his cologne surrounding you, itâs only natural that giddiness takes hold. Truthfully, youâre packed with so much adrenaline that you feel a little wild yourself. âYouâve been waiting to do that, huh.âÂ
âSo fucking long.â
You are not surviving the night. And you donât give a single shit.
But as shy and out of control as you feel around this man, you also feel safeâeven in a faraway, dark building that youâve never been in before. Thatâs gotta say something about him, right?Â
Yoongi feels along the wall beside you for lights, purposefully bumping your chest with his front even though heâs securing a ball with an arm. When you question his joking decision with noises, a chaste kiss on your lips shuts you right up.
âYouâre in the way,â he jokes through what you think is a smile, and youâre about to move when he flicks on a switch very far away from your shoulder.
Liar! Your jaw drop must be comical because Yoongiâs grin stretches astronomically wide. But you cannot find a retort because seeing him so chill while youâre stiff from paranoia has you at a loss.
Is this how he used to be all the time? This carefree, all caution to the wind? Heâs so fucking handsome like this. No wonder heâs pulled so many hearts just like yours.Â
When you still donât find any words to say, Yoongi makes it harder, stepping so close that you have to swing the plastic container away. Taking one of your hands in his free one, he gives it a warm squeeze while murmuring,
âYouâre so cute.â
âHow,â you ask just as softly.
And Yoongi responds with lights in his eyes. âJust are.â
Your lips mesh with his as he keeps your fingers secured, and suddenly every cautious thing in your body gets launched into the skies, too.
But it ends as soon as it begins. And Yoongi backs away from you with a smile,Â
âEat.â
âHuh?â
âEat, doll,â he orders before turning and dribbling onto the court.
When you call out that he hasnât eaten yet, Yoongi tells you that he already did. When you look around to figure out where to even sit, you decide on the closest set of bleachers and make yourself as comfortable as you can.
Which is impossible. Because theyâre bleachers. Which is now triple impossible. Because Yoongi just shucked off his hoodie and the only thing he had under it was his chains goddamn it.
If you werenât already sitting down you wouldâve fallen right into the next dimension. How the fuck are you supposed to eat in these conditions shit heâs walking over!Â
Your throat seizes as Yoongi approaches, face trained as if he isnât aware of his overwhelming presence. All he does is bend to place his sweater next to your legs. But the quick smooch on your lips makes you swoon harder than you ever have.
And the way his silver taps your chest makes you mentally hold on for dear life. Wait. What the fuck, Yoongiâs taking them off right now? Right in front of you? Just as you're supposed to eat oh okay heâs handing them to you great wonderful fantastic.
The metal links feel so warm yet slightly cold to the touch. Weighty, yet light. But you clutch them in your hand as you connect a gaze to his.
âRelax,â he orders, lightly slapping the side of your thigh. âNo need to worry.âÂ
And with bangs swishing, he goes right back to the ball waiting for him. Leaving you starry-eyed to hell with silver in your palm.
âŠDid all of that just happen? Is any of this even real? Quite frankly, you fucking forgot what you were even worried about.Â
No matter what he doesâsimple lay-ups standing in place, dribbling to different spots to shoot, or even lazily jogging after the ballâyouâre so enthralled with his actions that you forget that youâre not supposed to be here.Â
And it takes your last bite of food for something to finally hit you. How does Yoongi have keys to this place? Where the hell did he score those because you donât think he ever mentioned anything about working here. Or anywhere else other than the studio.Â
Yet another mystery to add to this walking, bare-chested enigma.Â
But thereâs another question forming behind your eyes the longer you watch him practice, the more you notice how heâs actually going hard. Yoongiâs really good right now. A lot better than what youâve seen of him before.Â
Has he been coming here more often than heâs let on? And why does he look so⊠serious? Youâd be surprised if he even remembered youâre here.Â
Setting your empty container down, you gather the chains in your hands again, deciding to slip them over your head for safer keeping. After, you grab a water before stepping down the bleachers, hanging a little ways away until Yoongi notices youâre courtside.
And when he sees you, he stops practicing immediately, jogging to you so sweaty and shining and gross and handsome andâ âWait, youâre all sweaââ
Youâre pulled into a kiss the same time you hear a basketball drop, salt on your tongue and damp palms on your cheeks. And you melt right into the shiny wood floor, drifting, drifting, sailing into dreamland even though youâre technically already there.Â
âSweaty,â you whisper into his hot breaths of exertion, a twinge between your legs when he kisses you even deeperâbreathing, inhaling, taking you in. âGross.â
âThanks.âÂ
You flash a smile against Yoongiâs lips, giggling because this is all better than anything your brain couldâve conjured on its own. When you ask why heâs going so hard, all you get is a question in return,
âYouâre perfect, you know that?âÂ
Huh? Blinking, you suddenly donât remember your own train of thought. âWhat did I do?âÂ
âNothing.â He presses a wet mouth to your nose. âDid you eat?â
Laughing, you reassure him, âI did, I did.âÂ
âGood. You bored?â Â
âHuh?â
Yoongi leans to softly take your lips this time, and you want to say heâs approaching the legal limit for kisses tonight. âThought you came over cus you wanna leave.â
âAnd stop seeing you play? I could watch this forever.â You squeeze the water bottle a little tighter. âJust checking on you.â Another strike hits between your legs when Yoongi takes another, lazier glide over your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you forward by your bottoms, fingers slick from use.Â
You could do this for eternity, too.
âWell I got about five more minutes in me, so..â
This man.Â
âForever might be a stretch.âÂ
âAh, shut up. Here,â you offer through a giggle, holding the water out for him to take.Â
âThanks.â When he does, he tilts his head at just the right angle to cut you through, gulping down liquid and making you do the same to your nothingness.Â
So unfair. âYou looked like you were going pretty hard.âÂ
Lowering the bottle, Yoongi shifts his jaw before taunting something a ways off. âI kinda was.âÂ
âIt was kinda hot.âÂ
His laugh makes you smile, and his next swig makes you weep. âNah, but. This is our practice gym. I can just zone out here, so. Itâs been one of those things.âÂ
Ah. Was this one of the places Yoongi ended up during those months apart? You wish he couldâve brought you along sometimes. Or at least thought about asking. Itâs nice just to be around him while he does something he likes. Gaining courage, you say exactly whatâs on your mind, âYou can always bring me, too. If you want.âÂ
And itâs true. You donât really have to do much when youâre with him, because just being around him is what brightens your day. Lifts your mood.Â
But you have to admit that watching him play basketball while shirtless is the biggest fucking win in history.Â
When did Yoongi get so close? When did his eyes retreat so far away? âI didnât wanna bother you with this,â he admits, a drop of sweat clinging onto his chin. âI donât even put music on.âÂ
âYou never bother me,â you whisper back. Hoping that he believes you and that he will start to accept that as fact. Because it is. âEven if youâre being annoying.âÂ
The bottle crinkles as he smiles, and thereâs a soft kiss to your lips that has no real desire behind it. Just a nice peck that sends you careening down a hill of flowers. âYou wonât be feeling that way tomorrow, babe.âÂ
âAnd why is that?â
âCus of what Iâm wearing.âÂ
And he says that while half-naked? Like any look on him could get any worse. âOh,â you scoff out, fully calling his bluff. âAs if.â
Well, fuck. You donât enjoy the smirk plastered on his face. It has you both dreading and excited for whatever demon youâre gonna run into tomorrow. âDonât say I didnât warn you.â He shrugs as he starts to hand the water back. âWe can go soon, by the way.â
âOkay.â
But before you can grab it, Yoongi pulls the bottle from reach. âUnless,â he teases. âYou wanna play me.â
âWhat.â
His grin shines, face glistening and turning your insides to jelly. âYou told me youâd win, so. Letâs see it.â
You said that? While sober? How does he remember something like that when you canât even recall a time or place youâd tell him something so bold. âWhen!â
âRight after you woke up once. Said youâre a master?â
Oh. That was ages ago. Fuck, you already forgot how did Yoongi remember?Â
âOh. Well.â Your nose turns up in feigned haughtiness. âWouldnât wanna throw you off your game before a championship.âÂ
âUh huh.â
âIâd make you cry what the fuck!âÂ
Water spills down your head in rivulets as you freeze, stunned and watching Yoongi jogging his laughs back to the bleachers like a punk. âThink you got something on your face, doll.â
âYoongi!â What the hell possessed him to do that to you here? Racing after him with purpose, you slam into him just as he reaches for another bottle, shoving a laugh out of his throat and making him catch himself on hardwood. âNu uh, gimme that!â
âItâs mine, I just ran outââ
âBitch!â You lunge for another bottle lying further away, distancing yourself to quickly rip the cap off and to avoid feeling his slick back on your hands.Â
And itâs a lawless gym as both of you start spraying water, arcs and splashes of bottled liquid spewing over the court and soaking into your clothes and his bare skin. Which proves to get worse and worse for your wellbeing the more he gets soaked in your attacks.Â
Running ends up being the only option to avoid getting completely drenched, and you hightail it behind bleachers before your waist is grabbed. âFuck!âÂ
âUh huh.âÂ
You try to wrestle out of his hold, his wet forearm digging lovely into your stomach, and youâre temporarily let go just so Yoongi can spin you around.Â
Your back connects with solid wall, the impact shooting a grunt out of your throat before you laugh out of pure disbelief. âI canât believe, you got me to do that,â you rush out, sentence punctuated by your breaths more than anything else.Â
Here you are. Under bleachers. With Yoongiâs skin caging you with radiating heat. Â
You can only stare as he drinks you in, no doubt looking at his silver around your neck and your chest heaving from exertion. Butterflies float across your stomach when his smile drips, and you fold as soon as he swoops in.Â
Everything in your being pulses hard. Itâs so visceral that you teeter on the edge of sanity and logic, and the thoughts slipping through your mind are just as wild as you feel. Before youâre even aware of it, a mischievous finger slides along the hem of his shorts, and you jump at the downright boulders rolling down your front,Â
âCareful, doll.â
âHmm?â You feel bad. And it feels fantastic. âWhat was that?âÂ
More gravel slides down his tongue, and you shake at his attractive as fuck threat, âFuck around and find out then.âÂ
Your giggles add feather lightness into his murky laughs, but youâre so preoccupied that you donât notice his hand between your legs until he slaps the inside of your thigh. âYooâ!â
âUnless.â He leans forward. âMy babyâs too scared.âÂ
Holy fuck, you might be. Is he really willing to do something with you? In a public place very similar to where youâre gonna watch him play tomorrow? You donât know why the fuck thatâs attractive as hell, but it is.Â
Yoongi grips your chin, eyes falling to your lips and brows knitted before claiming your lips even harder. And despite your bones vibrating to hell, you put your all into the kiss, relishing in the growing hardness you feel against your front. An animal starts to wake inside your core, and you almost feel like stroking it. Feeding it. Raising it only for it to consume you in return.Â
âFuck it, weâre leaving.âÂ
âHuh?â Dazed, you let your vision refocus as Yoongi chuckles at your hazy state.Â
âFuck this. Iâm taking you home.âÂ
For some reason, the game makes you nervous today. Even while Taehyung strides into the gymnasium with you, thereâs a lingering feeling swelling in your stomach, and you donât have any reason for it yet.Â
At least this is another rec center entirely. Because thereâs no way you wouldâve sat still knowing you had a clandestine meeting in the same place not even twenty-four hours before.Â
But the activity already bustling around hardwood catches your attention. Not on both sides, since only one team is here, but they are active on the other end doing drills.Â
Wow. They look really intimidating, matching jerseys that were clearly done professionally and warm-ups having a set routine. You wonder if this is gonna be a tough game for⊠Wait. Thatâs your brother under the basket. Thatâs them?Â
Fucking hell, Yoongi was right.
Because youâll already never get over how attractive he looks in athletic clothes.
But team jerseys?Â
Seeing this man rock a basketball uniform with his toned arms and legs so visible makes you want to claw your way out of your invisible cage.Â
When the hell did they even get those? And why is he already slightly drenched during the warm-up alone?Â
As soon as you see him make a lay-up, you know for a fact that you shouldnât be here.Â
Yes, youâre gonna stay and yes, youâre gonna cheer for them all game. But you are absolutely gonna feel like jumping him, which will in turn make you wanna bolt and run all the way out of town every agonizing second.Â
Shit, shit, shit. Youâre gonna have to try your damned hardest to unstick your eyes from that man the whole time. Already, you can hear Taehyungâs teasing, and your groan is to lament your future state.
Your name suddenly rings across the gym, and four feet pause in your ascent up the bleachers. When you catch both him and Jimin waving you down from their courtside chairs, you tilt your head in intrigue.Â
They want you to come over there? What the hell is this about?Â
Sighing, you turn. âGuess Iâll go see what they want.âÂ
âHere,â Tae offers his hand. âIâll save you a seat.âÂ
Your bag is transferred to his grip while you nod, and you step down onto the court, wondering if youâre even allowed to walk onto it to see them. And Jiminâs grin can be seen from miles away. âCome here!âÂ
You gingerly step onto shiny wooden floors, making your way over and becoming hyper aware that someone else notices your presence. But youâre so puzzled as to why thereâs no one on the other side of the court yet because isnât the game about to start?Â
Whereâs the other team? As you approach their row of chairs, your hands immediately find your hips. âWhatâs up?âÂ
Jiminâs eyes stay creased as your brother explains the reason he waved you down. A very stupid, very innocuous reason. âCan you keep score?âÂ
âMe?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âWhy me?âÂ
Your brother uses his jersey to wipe sweat from his brow, and you wince at the brand new material getting gross already. âThe girl that usually does it for us is sick.âÂ
âAnd you know the game,â Jimin quickly tacks on, rubbing at some tattoos on full display. Wait, are there more than you remember? When did he get more ink?
Your sibling asks another question you had in mind, âYou arenât gonna cover those?â
âNah. Not today,â the man elongates in a stretch. âJust got another one. This one!âÂ
Ah, you were right. âI like it.âÂ
Jimin couldnât look more proud. But enough of that because you really just wanna go back and observe the game from another place entirely. âCanât yâall find someone else to keep score?âÂ
âWe donât think anyone else can,â your brother explains, looking over your shoulder. âAt least, not the people coming to watch us.âÂ
Cool. You get to be met with heat and sweat from all these guys without compensation. How is this something you would say yes to? âWell. I donât really feel like being a scorekeeper for free.âÂ
When your sibling laughs with Jimin, they share a look before he says so matter-of-factly, âTold you.âÂ
Youâre sticking with that. If youâre gonna sit next to a bunch of smelly people, theyâre gonna pay⊠you⊠somehow.
A ways down the row, you catch Yoongi dumping himself onto a random chair, head tilted back before he hangs it forward to wipe sweat from his forehead.Â
And suddenly this temporary gig doesnât seem terrible in the slightest.Â
Because one, you can sit on a team bench that will have his fine ass right there. And two, this will give you a way to objectively focus on the game. You wonât have time to be distracted by a demon and his hair thatâs gotten criminally long.Â
âIâll get us all dinner,â your sibling slices through your thoughts. âAfter we win.â Â
âFine,â you sigh, taking the end seat and shooting one more glance to the other side of the court. âThen I get to pââ
The air around you squeezes inward. And all sounds plunge underwater.Â
Because you recognize someone you knew from a dark club walking onto the court, his team looking just as sharp and cocky as his eyes.Â
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.Â
You donât notice the way Jiminâs hands flex, nor the way a familiar presence walks up to join your brother.Â
All you can do is stare back.Â
And without even realizing.Â
Youâre already rubbing your arm.
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tbc. :((
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a ha ha... so how do we feel? | taglist | discord!
a/n: okay, hello, loves. apologies this part took so damn long to post! can you imagine if i tried to post everything at once LMAOO yikes talk about too much at once. but i hope this part was enough to still be good on its own, and broken, pt. 2 will be... well. you can probably guess that's where a majority of my brainpower is going to go. a/n 2: thank you all for being here! it's been an amazing two years working on this series and i cannot tell you how grateful and appreciative i am to have such wonderful people alongside me. i hope this series continues to be there for you when you need it, bc it has become that for me, too. ++ feedback box: â„ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! â„ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! â„ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. itâs literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as youâd like! â„ here! ++ more links: â„ masterlist â„ three tangerines masterlist
#ITS FINALLY HEREEE#SHEESH#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts reactions#filter for fics:#*ryenfictalk#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#three tangerines#3tan11#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#btsfic#*latest#ryenwrites
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I love your entire page, so I was thrilled to see that your requests are open. May I request a story with Daniel Ricciardo x Reader? Perhaps something where the reader is experiencing a moment of low self-esteem, comparing herself to his ex, and feeling down since they've recently started dating, yet the fans want his ex back. When Danny is dominant it makes me melt so perhaps a smut that is center on body worshipping yet leads to crazy back shots/missionary. He made you come multiple times and despite you trying to tap out , heâs not stopping anytime soon creating a big creamy mess đ«
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Summary: Sheâs the least favorite Formula One WAG. At first, she was optimistic, the fans would eventually get over it and maybe even start liking herâbut she now knows that was a pretty naive thought. Sheâs constantly compared to Danielâs ex-girlfriendâsheâs not as pretty as her, sheâs not as supportive as her, sheâs not as popular as her, etc. Unfortunately, in a moment of low self-esteemâshe breaks and thinks maybe the fans are right. Daniel, with a sixth sense of knowing when youâve lost your mind, comes home and sees you gathering every belonging of yours thatâs migrated to his apartment like youâre breaking up with him. He tries to change your mind with his words, but that doesnât quite reassure you completely; so he has no choice but to do it with his actions, too. Pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!black-coded!reader (her skin is described as brown) Content Warning: 18+ only. mdni. explicit sexual content. no beta we die like men. no srs itâs barely edited. angst with a happy ending. hurt/comfort. dom/sub undertones. arguing. breaking up/making up. those three little words. attempt at humor (a lil bit). implied subspace. insecure!reader. body worship. vaginal sex. oral sex (female receiving). online hate. overstimulation. protected sex. aftercare. this is dirty, i am so sorry. Word Count: 5k words.
Author's Notes: okay it's a couple hours late, but i was hit with a little creative genius and i think you guys will really enjoy this one! and it's the longest one too! an entire five-thousand words wow. aren't you glad i added more to this masterpiece.
let me know what you think! xxxxx
prev 2k special join taglist feedback & requests table of contents next â»
Youâre trending on Twitter. Noânot for one of your TikToks that you hope went viral, but under the hashtag #breakupwithherdaniel. Fans have decided to start a movement to make signs to take to the next Grand Prix, with pictures of your face posted next to that hashtag. In all of the tweets, theyâre commenting on how they wished Daniel and his ex were still together, or comparing you to her, and saying that youâre toxicâyou! In this situation, where none of the people online personally know you and take to bashing you on the internet; you are the toxic one! And thatâs the last straw. You start packing your shit up into bags and whatever boxes you can find. A large amount of your belongings have migrated to Danielâs apartment, even if you donât officially live with him. Youâve been dating him for just over six months, and the entire time your relationship has been public his fans have harassed you.
They prefer his ex over you, itâs that simple. It probably doesnât help that youâre not like one of the white models everybody thinks f1 drivers should date, but enough is enough. It didnât bother you at first, you thought with just a little time everyone would calm down but the opposite has happened. Theyâve only gotten worse and things have escalated to the point where itâs affecting your career andâyou canât take it anymore. And, maybe theyâre right. Daniel doesnât deserve to date a girl who canât take the harsh eye of the media and fans. Heâd be better off without you, and he might certainly be better off with his ex. She was there in his darkest times and his brightest successes. They ended on good terms so with a little charm, Daniel wouldnât have a problem with getting back with her, surely.Â
Youâre throwing your bags on the living room couch, pulling a suitcase you left here from when you last traveled with him to throw your shoes into. And then, you hear the door open.Â
Danielâs happy voice carries to you from the entryway, âBaby, Iâm home! I stopped at the store to pick up a slice of your favorite cake, because I know youâve been needing some cheering upââ
You hear his steps halt as he sees you in the living room, bags and boxes filled to the brim with your stuff.Â
âBaby?â Daniel asks, âWhatâs this about? This is late for it to be spring cleaning.â
You shake your head, swallowing softly as you turn to meet his eyes, âIâm leaving, Daniel.â
âWhat?â Daniel says confused.
âDonât make it any more difficult than it needs to be,â you start, unable to fight back your tears any longer, âJust let me get my stuff and leave.â
Daniel rushes to you, pulling you to look at him, holding your arms still when you try to push him away from you.
âYouâve got to give me more than that. Youâre leavingâwhy? Is it something I did? Did I say something? How long have you felt like this? I couldâveâI can fix it, baby. Donât leave me,â Daniel pleads, his own eyes radiating how hurt, confused, and disbelieving he feels, âI thought we were strong? Weâre the closest to being perfect, I thought. We barely argue; and even when we do itâs resolved properly. I donât yell, I donât talk to other women, I donât ignore your calls or messages, Iâm not possessive, Iâm not crazyâwhat can I do? For you to stay, what can I do?â
âNothing, Daniel. You canât change my mind. Butâitâs not your fault, okay? Itâs me,â you cry harder when Daniel scoffs at your response, âIâm serious, Danny. Itâs my fault. I canât take it anymore okay? Youâre better off without me; Iâm a distraction, Iâm not as supportive as I should be, Iâm not your typeâyouâd just perform and be happier without me, okay?â
âFuck no,â Daniel emphasizes, âWho the hell is telling you that? Because I know you seriously donât believe that. Youâre the best thing to happen to me in my entire life, baby. Youâre not a distraction, you support me tirelessly, and you sure as hell are my type. I canât keep my hands off of you, you scold me all the time for that so, how can you say that âyouâre not my type?â Iâm the happiest Iâve ever been with you, ask anybody, baby.â
You groan angrily, âNot anybody! Have you asked your fucking fans? They sure as hell think that Iâm the devil reincarnated. I canât do anything publicly without being verbally harassed for it. I canât dress the way I want to, I canât act the way I want to, and I canât even go to work! Your little fangirls are affecting my careerâand I canât do it anymore. Theyâve won. I canât take the judgment anymore, not for me just existing. Youâd be happier with your ex, just like they want you to be.â
You and Daniel stare at each other silently, the air tense.Â
âWhat do you mean,â Daniel pauses, his jaw tightening, âWhat do you mean theyâre affecting your career?â
âTheyâre threatening to fire me because of my image. Theyâre saying Iâm smearing the company's appearance,â you sigh out, picking at your cuticles anxiously. Daniel grabs your hands, stopping you.
âIâm going to kill them, babyââ
âDaniel!â you cut him off, aghast.
âNo, I donât care,â He dismisses, âThe nerve of them to convince you that youâre not good enough for me. I shouldâve kept asking you if you were bothered by the negative attention, but ever since you told me that you could handle it, I never checked in. And, I failed to see that it was getting worse. Worse enough to make you think that you need to leave to escape it. Iâm going to embarrass those fans publicly and Iâm going to get the team to back me up. As far as your job, I always hated them anyway. I never liked how they would deny your vacation time even though you had the daysâyou should quit.â
You stare at him deadpan, âDaniel Ricciardo. Iâm not quitting my job and I am also still leaving.â
âMhm, no,â Daniel scoffs hysterically, âYouâre not breaking up with me. And, you would have a better reason to quit, if you stayed with me. Iâll retire you and make you my trophy wife, please. Seriously, babe. Donât leave. I shouldâve dealt with the fans earlier, I knowâitâs my fault that it even reached this point. Please, just stay with me.â
âI donât know,â you murmur, crumbling into tears again, âThey all seem to think your ex is a better fit andâŠI think I agree with them.â
Daniel gathers you into his arms, tucking you into his shoulder, âBaby, I broke up with her for a reason. And, Iâm glad I did. All of those chronically online fans have no clue about why I broke up with her. I couldnât imagine going back into that relationship, especially now that Iâve found you. Let me prove it to you, baby.
You sob, âHow are you going to prove anything to me right now? Can I just be dramatic for a little longer?â
He laughs, giddy at the sound of your usual antics, âWell, I am going to set the media on fire with the language I use to address how the world has been disrespecting you. But first, Iâm going to take you to bed and remind you what youâd be missing out on if you left. What other man could learn to know you as intimately as I do, hm? Câmon, babyâlet me prove it to you. Let your body decide.â
Leaning back to look at him through your tears, you think,  fuck it, why not?
Daniel presses you into the bed; you whine out desperately when he breaks the kiss, your eyes focused on the plush warmth of his lips as you try to chase them. The eagerness of your actions only dawns on you as you see his lips shift into a smiling laugh then, the embarrassment washes over you; honestly, you think, you canât act like you canât live without having his lips touching yoursâhe might find your yearning repulsive. Did his ex act like this for him? What if thatâs why he broke up with herâ
âHeyheyheyâdonât hide from me, baby,â Daniel coos concerned, his hand gently coaxing you to turn your head and meet his eyes, you didnât even notice when you moved to hide your face with the pillow; he continues, âWhereâd you go just then, pretty girl? Please tell me, baby, donât hold it in.â
You meet his troubled gaze, and the love and care you see pouring out causes fresh tears to dance across your waterline. Through your blurry sight, you see Danielâs brow furrow saddeningly as he carefully pulls you up into a sitting position and holds you tightly as you cry into his shoulder. His left hand massages the back of your neck, and his right hand finds a calming rhythm as he rubs your back. Your tears taper out quicker, and you wonder if youâve exhausted their supply from the crying youâve done today.
You draw back from his embrace, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand, and your voice shakes and cracks as you begin to speak, âIâve never been this insecure about myself. I couldnât give a single fuck about what people say or think about me. But, today? It was just too much, Danny. Seeing all of your fans tear down every aspect of me; my personality, my looks, my bodyâwhy? And, theyâre doing it under the reasoning that, Iâm not good for you. Like, youâre not a grown man, who can decide who he wants to date? I support you quietly and loudly andâll do it forever, but thatâs not enough for them. And, today, it felt like it would never be enough.
âSo, when I saw them making signs, t-toâŠto encourage you to break up with me,â Daniel muffles a sound of hurt in his chest, âI was humiliated. I-I, didnât want that sort of attention for you, they should be focused on your racing, not your undeserving girlfriend. And, I thought Iâd make it easy for you and leave.â
âBaby, noâŠâ
âYouâre such a good boyfriend, Daniel. It would be so much easier for you to end this relationship and go back to your ex, or date some other girl that satisfies you and your fansââ
âBabe, no,â Daniel cuts you off, his tone hardened, âThe only person that needs to be satisfied with you is me. And, I am. The opinions of those fucking idiots donât matter to me, and they shouldnât matter to you. Because thatâs all they are: opinions, and theyâre absolutely stupid opinions, at that. Theyâre comments have done the complete opposite of convincing me to leave you. Theyâve shown me that I need to let you know how much I want you with meâtheyâve made me realize that I need to let you know that I love you.â
Your eyes widen, your breath stuttering. Itâs the first time, heâs said it. Daniel loves you.
Sobbing softly, you murmur, âI hope youâre not only saying those three words because you think itâs going to make me happy. Because, I do love you, too.â
Daniel laughs wetly. âIâm saying that I love you now because you need to know that. I wouldâve preferred to say it under different circumstances but, it doesnât change the fact that Iâm ridiculously in love with you. Andâfuck everybody whoâs saying youâre not good enough for me. If anything, Iâm not good enough for you. I havenât even won you a trophy, yet.â
You stare at him in disbelief, âShut the fuck up. Youâre everything to me. You could be driving the slowest car on the grid and I would still be celebrating your last-place finishes like youâve won the championship.â
Daniel stares at you silently and you nearly fear that youâve broken him. He sighs out lovingly before, leaning down and pressing kisses across your entire face to wash away your tear tracks. He finishes with a barely there kiss to the tip of your nose and asks quietly, âLet me show you that I love you. I donât think saying it is enough.â
You look at him. You find what youâre looking for because you agree, âOkay.â
Daniel perks up, âOkay?â
You nod, slowly sliding down to rest on your back against the bed like you were before. âYes.â
Your boyfriend shifts to kneel in between your legs, his hands slipping beneath the hem of your sweater, and once he gets confirmation from you, he smoothly pulls it off of you, dropping it off the bedside. His hands spread across the expanse of your abdomen and move to rest on your waist as he buries himself in the length of your neck. He nips kisses and presses of tongue along your brown skin, surprising you often with the ache of teeth and suction to bloom bruises. When he slides downwards, he paints your collarbone and decolletage loosely, the irritated flesh only sends flares of pleasure across your nerves. Daniel huffs in frustration as the straps of your bra disrupt the smooth skin across your shoulders, and he pulls you upwards to arch into him as he slips his hand underneath to unclasp the closure. Youâre brain comes online to help him remove the offending fabric as you shrug out of the straps and desperately fling the bra to a corner of the room you canât care to look at.
Daniel hums thankfully and resumes tracing along your shoulder, down your arms, and to the bones of your wrists and tips of your fingers with gentle hands followed by his lips.Â
He swallows before speaking, âWhenever youâre splayed out so prettily underneath me, I forget how to act. The cloudy look in your eyes, your chest covered with my love, the muscles in your shoulders and arms relaxed and syrupyâso fuckinâ sexy, baby.â
You canât find the words to respond to him because your entire body sings out when Danielâs lips suction around your nipple. You feel his tongue swirl around, wetting it before his teeth join in and scrape softly against the sensitive bud. He releases you and even though your eyelids have fluttered shut at the feeling, you feel him watching you as your back rises off the bed and your head falls back. His hand finds its place right underneath your breasts, and he pushes you back down into the mattress and holds you there as he continues the assault of his lips on your chest. You can only cry out with every tug of his teeth, every suckle of his lips on the surrounding skin, whimpers choked down as his mouth ravages you entirely. Your hand flies to Danielâs hair for purchase, and to press his head further into your chest, but he pulls away.
âForgive meâbut I love your chest, baby. I love how you let me take naps on them and play with my hair, I love the feeling of them in my hand, I love making you scream every time I play with them. And, you taught me that the only answer to ass versus boobs is both of them. Because, I would willingly suffocate in either of them, and all of you.â
Your chest heaves as you try to regain some air in your lungs, but Daniel doesnât let you breathe for a second, âOne day, I hope you let me fuck your pretty chest.â
Your mouth drops open, as you flounder for the air and words required to respond to his statement.
âAnother time, though. May I take off your pants, baby? IÂ need to fuck you.â
âYesyesâplease, hurry up,â you rush out, already moving to shimmy out of your bottoms, Daniel tugging them off roughly when they get caught around your ankles. The strength he uses slides you down the bed a little, and you canât help but muffle a gasp underneath your hand.Â
He pulls your hand from your mouth in an instant, âNo. Not tonight. I let you get away with hiding your sounds from me before, but I need to know how good Iâm making you feel,â he pauses to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist and continues, âBe as loud as you want, love.â
You nod jerkily, and Daniel lowers your arm to rest against the bed carefully, before he shuffles down the bed, resting on his stomach and spreading your legs to drape along his shoulders. He starts with your right leg; nipping at the bone of your ankle before following with a soothing touch of his lips, and moving upwards, biting and kissing along the muscles of your calf, the inside of your knee. He slows when he reaches the plush meet of your thigh, taking his time biting the muscle and laving over the teeth marks he leaves with his tongue. He repeats the treatment along your left leg, ignoring how he can see the wetness dripping out of you, darkening the fabric of your panties.Â
âLove your legs, baby,â Daniel breaths shakily, âCalves, and thighs, muscle, and all plush skin. If I could choose how to go out, it would be in between them. Doesnât matter if theyâre around my waist, or my headâitâs fucking paradise, baby.â
Your thighs shudder as if theyâve heard his words, and Daniel notices immediately. His hands move to grasp them and let his thumbs dig into the fresh marks heâs added against your brown skin. You keen airily, your thighs attempting to shut, but Danielâs hands keep you spread with little effort. He leans down and hides his smile by pressing his mouth to your panties. He proceeds to noisily kiss along your covered cunt, dragging his tongue and nose through the soaked fabric, humming amusedly when your hips buck down onto him, one of his hands shifting to press your pelvis to the mattress.
Youâre mortified. Danielâs pretty much making out with your cunt over your panties, and he seems to be enjoying it as much as you if the way his hips are rocking along the bed is any telling when you raise your head to stare down at him. His eyes shut as he loses himself between your legs; he looks blissed out and you drop your head back against the mattress, bringing your hand to tangle in the mess of his curls. He pulls away with a grunt and you tug at his hair annoyed, sitting up slightly to see what he stopped forâ
His eyes are wild, drenched with lust. Daniel doesnât waste time pulling your panties off, roughly tugging the fabric covering your cunt to the side, tucking it in the dip between your groin and thigh. You see his eyes roll back slightly at the sight of you before he shuts them and dives forward to bring his mouth down on your cunt. His tongue pushes inside of you sloppily and his nose makes sure your clit is always receiving attention. The only option you have is to choke on your moans and grasp for stability in his hair and the sheets of the bed. Your tummy undulates at the pleasure racketing up your spinal cord, itâs too much to process already. And in a split-second, Danielâs tongue is exchanged for two of his fingers, your cunt thoroughly soaked with a mix of your wetness and his spit, and the stretch is mild, more of a welcomed soreness than pain. Danielâs eyes open to watch your face closely, youâre too busy moaning to verbally assure him to continue, but he understands (the continuous desperate roll of your hips against his grasp is a helpful clue).Â
He massages his fingers into you rapidly, brushing along the sensitive wall along the top of your cuntâand it dawns on you very quickly that you are going to cum. He must see the realization wash over your face, or through the signs of your body, but he avoids your g-spot to scissor his fingers inside of you to stretch you out, a third joining the rest when you huff down at him angrily. The new stretch quiets you, loud whines and moans hushed for a moment as you savor the ache. Yet, you quickly hunger for more, unapproving of the sudden gentleness Daniel exhibits.
âDanny, please,â you cry, âCâmonâfuck me, already. âm gonna cum.â
He pulls his fingers from the grasp of your vagina and manhandles you onto your front, stomach flat against the bed. With firm hands, he pulls your hips upwards, one hand sliding down your back to deepen the arch and push your ass further out. The insecurity and shyness you had earlier have dissipated; youâd like to be fucked, now. You spread your knees wider and rock back even more.
âFuck,â Daniel croaks out, and he rushes to grab a condom from the nightstand. Youâre sure heâs relatively quick about the entire ordeal; of losing his pants, grabbing the condom, and rolling it on himself, but it feels like ages, and you canât help but huff out angrily. Thankfully, you feel his left hand come back to rest on your ass and feel the head of his cock tap along your cunt.Â
Your hole parts for him prettily and Daniel sinks in smoothly, not stopping until your ass meets his hips. You whine softly, the ache of him finding a home within you will never lose its luster. Daniel shudders behind you, the grip of his hand on your ass shakingâhis breathing heavy as it echoes around the room.Â
âFuck,â Daniel moans again, âLove your cunt, pretty girl. Hot, wet, and tight,â he falls forward, and nuzzles into the hair at the nape of your neck, before pressing a kiss at the back of your neck, and rising again, ââs so goodâŠI-I canât find the words right now.â
You giggle softly into the bed and Daniel takes the green light when you press back against him. He begins to thrust into you, hard enough to punch the breath out of your lungs. Heâs never fucked you this forcefully before; his motions are erratic, yet somehow heâs nailing the spot inside of you with every other pass of his hips. The sound of your skin meeting manages to be hidden by the screams and moans you manage to release when you find enough air in your lungs. Danielâs other hand wraps around your front and presses down on your pelvis, tightening your inner walls. And, your vision whites out.
Your legs give out and you feel yourself slouch into the mattress, but Daniel is quick to hold your hips up for you and continues to rail into you, not allowing you any respite. You can hear yourself babbling, but you canât make out what youâre saying. The heat of Danielâs chest radiates over your back and you feel his breath wash over your spine, his endearments and praise you hear but canât understand as the pleasure has blinded your senses. What you can feel, is how his thrusts continue and donât slow.Â
You regain control of your body when he rotates you onto your back, he only pulls out briefly while he grabs a pillow to shove underneath your hips before he falls back inside of you. At this angle, Daniel feels larger than life, knocking against buttons inside of you youâre sure heâs only ever discovered. Itâs too much. He fucks into you slowly, the press of his cock slow but strong, the motion pushing you up the bed slightly.
You gasp, moans erupting out of you when you attempt to speak. You manage to keep your eyes open long enough to look at Daniel and see the pleased smile on his face. He moves one hand from your hip to cradle your cheek and swipes a tear that escaped from the corner of your eye away.Â
âOh,â Daniel hushes you softly, âGone for me already, arenât you?â
âT-t-oo much,â you stutter, tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, â feels sâgood.â
He chuckles quietly, the noise fading into a moan as your cunt clenches around him, âToo much or it feels good, pretty girl? Youâre going to have to pick one.â
Danielâs thrusts get rougher, and he stops pulling out nearly all the way and focuses on digging into you deeper; making sure to drag himself along that place inside you with every thrust. Your scream breaks as soon as it leaves your mouth, the unyielding stimulation feels white hot. You take a shaky hand and drag it down Danielâs chest, from his tattoos to his abdomen, and push against him while simultaneously trying to raise your hips away from his.
âNo, baby,â Daniel coos down at you, knocking your hand away from his abs, and continuing to press inside of you, pulling your hips down, âDonât run from me. Take it. You know what to say if itâs too much for you.â
You do know what to say. But, the knot inside your tummy starts tightening again, and the overwhelming amount of pleasure isnât too much. You can take it. Daniel rocks down to kiss you, but youâre too out of it to exactly figure out how to make your lips work, and his eyes shine. He moves to bite at your neck, you feel him speaking against your skin and it takes a few listens to realize he saying, âI love you,â over and over again. His thrusts get choppier and you know heâs close when his hand slips down to play with your clit. This orgasm feels different than the first. It feels like it burns your nerve endings with just how powerfully pleasurable it is. You can vaguely feel Daniel collapse against you as he rides out his climax, but youâre more concerned with the absolute ecstasy you find yourself floating in.
You blink a few times and you fail to adequately process whatâs going on around you. You feel Daniel pull out of you, rubbing soothingly along your hips and thighs as he massages any soreness away. You canât make out his words, but they sound warm and loving making you feel light and fluffy. You donât recall him moving from the bed, but he suddenly has a warm rag pressed against your inner thighs to clean you up, and your ruined panties are gone. When he tries to wipe against your cunt, you slam your legs shut, jerking away from him. He doesnât force your legs back open, but he eventually manages to clean up enough of your wetness that heâs comfortable to wait until youâre clear-minded.Â
Daniel pulls you onto his lap and continues murmuring words of affection into the air, you feel them vibrate through his chest. You begin to rise out of whatever state you were in and shift in his lap, âDanny,â you try to speak, but your voice cracks roughly. Heâs quick to grab a bottle of water on the nightstand and opens it for you, helping you drink as your arms are still too shaky.Â
âWhen did you grab the water?â you question softly, you down nearly the entire bottle, and move to snuggle back into his chest, bringing your shaky hand up to trace his tattoos.Â
âYou donât remember?â Daniel questions calmly, watching as you shake your head in dissent, âI think you were a little out of it after that orgasm. You melted into the bedâI couldnât get you to say anything.â
âOh,â you offer, looking up at him to read his face. You find nothing but love, so you figure it canât be a bad thing.
âDo you know what subspace is?â
âNo?â
Daniel nods understandingly and changes the subject, âI got this piece of cake for you earlier at the store. Can you eat it for me now and drink a little more water, baby? Iâll put on that crime show you like too.â
You agree to eat and drink as long as Daniel does too. Your hand shakes as you try to bring the fork to your mouth so you let Daniel feed you, he seems more than happy to do it for you. You kind of like it anyway, him taking care of you. You feel like your normal self halfway through the second episode of the show playing on the TV. You slide off of Danielâs lap to sit beside him and focus on the show, pulling the blanket up to cover your legs, the plot of the show finally being processed by your brain.
âIâm going to go grab something from the living room, okay?â Daniel checks in on you, waiting for you to answer affirmatively, âFinish up that cake for me, love.â
You hum, grabbing the container from him and continuing to munch along as Daniel does what he needs to. He reenters the room with one of the boxes you had packed away. Daniel doesnât look at you, he just opens up the box and starts putting all your belongings back to where they used to be. He pulls one of your heavier sweaters out of the box and moves to hang it up in the closet.
âNo,â you say, voice scratchy. You watch Daniel turn to face you slowly like he thinks youâre going to tell him that youâre still leaving,Â
âThat sweater doesnât belong in the closet. It gets folded and placed in the bottom row of the dresser.â
Daniel sighs relieved and smiles at you, âOkay. What about this one too, where does that go?â
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#sereneâs chapters.#httpss :// 2k special#f1 x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#f1 smut#daniel ricciardo smut#f1 x black!reader#f1 x female reader#daniel ricciardo x black!reader#daniel ricciardo fic#daniel ricciardo imagine#f1 x you#formula 1 x black!reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#daniel ricciardo x you#⥠àŒ*.ïŸ love interest: dr.
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sunday (explicit)
genre: straight-up smut baybey, i did it y'all i wrote a pwp again
pairing:Â seokjin x reader
summary: you got your boyfriend exactly what he wanted for his birthday.
word count:Â 5k
contains: explicit sexual content~*~ say it with me: BRAT đ TAMER đ SEOKJIN đ established relationship, reader is uhhh đŹ Extremely bratty lmao, jin takes care of that, BDSM dynamics (mention of safewords and hand signals but neither are used!), reader gets spanked with a belt oop đ€, fingering/a lil bit of eating it from the back, orgasm denial, big dick jin đ, praise kink, mouth/throat fucking, a bit of breathplay, begging and apologizing, oh yeah she cries... like.... kind of a lot đ„Č there's a dacryphilia moment in there too (~*~add a little spice~*~), unprotected sex but they're in love it's fine, lots of subspace at the end, use of a vibrator, overstimulation, she comes.... idek how many times, and a smidge of aftercare đ« also i promise there's no food play, you'll get why the cake's there at the end ok lmao
A/N: a day late and a dollar short but hey that's my mental health rn đ«Ą this was fun!!! always nice to dust off the ol' pwp muscles and frankly i've been itching to write proper BDSM for a bit now. sometimes you just wanna get the shit beat out of you lovingly and that's valid and sexy ya know. anyway feel free to silently skip this one if it's not for you!! and i know i'm gonna get a comment on it so đ i used his korean age on purpose lmao đ yes i can count and yes i know their system is changing~ ANYWAY i sincerely hope you enjoy babes and that you all had a lovely seokjin day đ„ș i loooove y'all !!! đ
thank you to @haliiimede for beta reading and being my soulmate đ„ș
read on AO3!
~*~
The slam of the front door tells you that your plan for today has worked perfectly.
Standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, you adjust a final strap on your bralette, then quickly scramble to pull your clothes back on. You attempt to keep your expression innocent as you slip down the hallway to greet your boyfriend.
Before you can even make it, you hear the unmistakable pop of a wine bottle being uncorked, and you enter the kitchen just in time to see Seokjin leaning up against the counter with a glass of white in hand. He doesnât look particularly pleased to see you.
âHi baby,â you say, sweet as can be. âCan I have a glass?â
A muscle works in his jaw as he looks you over, and the expression on his face already has a flame licking in the pit of your stomach.
âThat's all you have to say?â he finally answers.
You blink up at him, feigning ignorance. Your heartbeat has started to race behind your ribs, sensing imminent dangerâ the good kind.
âI haven't heard from you all day today,â he tries again.
You shrug. âI was still sleeping when you left this morning, and then, I don't know. I was doing things. Does it matter?â If Seokjin wasnât already pissed, you know your last question will get him. You turn away to busy yourself with retrieving a wine glass so he canât see the smile youâre trying to bite back.
The tone of his voice makes you freeze, glass in hand. âI don't recall saying you could have any.â
Your lower lip juts out automatically, and you do your best to steady your breathing without making it apparent. Even your voice comes out a little shaky. âBut we always share.â
The silence in the kitchen feels deafening, punctuated by the soft tap of Seokjin setting his glass on the counter. You mirror him, swallowing hard as he steps in to close the distance between you. It never gets any less exciting to have him tower over you, big and broad-shouldered, tall enough that you have to look up through your lashes to meet his gaze. A dull ache starts to pulse between your legs.
âDo you know what today is?â
You lick your lips and try to speak. âSunday?â
Itâs like you barely get the word out before heâs gripping your jaw with one large hand, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat. Anticipation buzzes through your body, all the way down to your toes, as he forces your chin up.
âAnything else?â His voice sounds like a warning.
Your mouth pulls into a grin beneath his grasp, one you canât quite manage to keep innocent. âOh, Seokjin, is it your birthday? I knew I was forgetting something. Oops.â
âFucking brat.â
All at once Seokjin locks an arm around your hips, and you let out a shrill squeak as your feet leave the floor entirely when he outright slings you over his shoulder. This is, of course, exactly what youâd hoped for, but you struggle a little in his grip nonetheless. All part of the fun.
Youâd left the bedroom door cracked on your way out to greet him, and he takes the opportunity to kick it back open. A shiver runs up your spine at the sight, and then you hit the bed hard enough to knock the breath out of your lungs.
You push up onto your hands as you sit up, slightly dizzy.
âThat hurt, Seokjin,â you whine, but you both know you donât mean it. You have agreed-upon methods of telling him when heâs really hurting you in a way that doesnât feel good: safewords, even hand signals for when youâre rendered non-verbal. Anything said that isnât one of those is just you running your mouth on purpose, winding him up. Like now. âYouâre being so dramatic.â
âAnd youâve got a fucking attitude today,â he snaps. âIs this really how you want to do this? On my fucking birthday?â
You blink up at him with the same sweet smile. âWhat if I told you I got you a present?â
This seems to surprise him a little, and he pauses, like he doesnât quite buy it. âA present, huh?â
âMm-hmm.â You nod as you get to your feet. âLet me unwrap it for you.â
Taking your time with it, you peel off your sweatshirt and leggings to reveal the lingerie you pulled on as he was coming home. Itâs a soft pink set with a floral design, thin straps, and romantic lace, and you happen to think it does wonders for your curves.
âWhat do you think?â
You can see the hungry gleam in Seokjin's eyes even as he scoffs, feigning disinterest. âOh, this is my present? A disrespectful brat that I have to teach a lesson? I should rip this shit off.â
âHey, this was expensive!â you snap, and he arches an eyebrow as if to give you a final chance to behave. It just makes you want to push him that much further.
You step closer, allowing a perfect line of sight to your tits that threaten to spill out of their confinements, and you soften your voice when you speak again. âWhat, you donât forgive me, Seokjin?â
The corner of his mouth just barely ticks up. âYou know the rules. Forgiveness is earned.â
He reaches a hand down to undo the buckle of his belt, and your nipples are suddenly painfully hard against the lace fabric. You canât remember the last time he used his belt. Fuck, heâs really mad.
âBend over.â
You huff a sigh as you drape yourself over the edge of the bed, and his hands are already on your ass. He makes a low noise of appreciation as his fingertips dig into your supple skin, pressing firm enough to make you wince. He's not being gentle, and you donât want him to be.
Your eyes flutter closed in enjoyment of being manhandled like this, and you get so lost in it that it takes you a second to realize Seokjin has asked you a question. By then itâs already too late.
He gives a warning slap to your ass as he repeats himself. âI said, how old am I?â
You peek over your shoulder, wiggling your ass against the flat of his palm, only for him to smack you hard over your left cheek. You bite back a whimper, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.
âI don't know,â you lie, blinking up at him. âYouâre so old now, itâs hard to remember.â
In one swift move, he yanks his belt out from around his waist, and you swallow hard as you watch him fold it over in his hands.
âThen why donât you fucking count for me.â
The belt cracks down over your ass, and you flinch at the first real rush of pain. It takes you a second to regain focus, your brain still buzzing from the hit, and then his words come back to you.
âOne.â
âSo you are capable of listening, huh?â
Another hit, equally as hard on the other side, and you grit your teeth.
âTwo.â
âAw, whereâd that smart mouth go? Not so chatty now?â Seokjin cracks the belt again, and you can barely get the word three out before four is being delivered just as harshly. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe. He's really hitting hard tonight.
âFour,â you gasp, and you hear Seokjin exhale a dark laugh above you.
âBetter toughen up, sweetheart. Weâve got a long way to go.â Another hit in the same spot, this one enough to really sting.
âFive.â
âYou know, since I'm so old.â
The next blow he delivers is so hard, the word comes out as a cry of pain. âSix!â
You flatten your pelvis down against the sheets, as if in an attempt to hide from the beating, but thereâs nowhere to go. The extra pressure makes you feel how hard your clit has started to throb from your punishment. You bury your face in the crook of your elbow, your hips jerking reflexively as you moan through seven, eight, nine.
Every muscle in your body seizes taut as you prepare for ten, trying to encourage yourself to breathe through it, though all you can get out right now are shallow gasps for air. I can take this, you tell yourself, I can take this.
But it doesnât come. Youâre pulled so tight you think you might snap, and you manage to lift your head up from your arms to look back at Seokjin.
âThere she is,â he says, and the soft tone of his voice in no way influences how hard he brings the belt down over your ass.
âTen!â you groan, and the sharp bite of pain over your already raw skin nearly brings tears to your eyes. And heâs not even halfway done.
Itâs all you can do now to remember what number youâre on, especially as Seokjin continues to allow torturously long pauses between his hits. He'll wait just long enough that your heartbeat starts to slow, teasing the thin length of the belt up the backs of your thighs, sometimes even with a laugh.
But itâs not relief: the waiting keeps every inch of you on edge, all wound up with anticipation of the next dose of pain, so tense youâre not sure youâre breathing.
Youâve hardly choked out fourteen when you flinch at a brush of contact, the warm touch of skin where you were expecting the crack of leather. Letting your forehead drop against the bed, you pant like youâve just run a marathon as Seokjin's hand moves over your abused flesh, groping and massaging as he did before. You canât tell if itâs been minutes or hours since then, but his touch is grounding, calming, even when his fingers sink into your fresh bruises with enough force to make you whimper.
You can feel the way the seam of your panties sticks to your center now, and you can only imagine that they must be entirely soaked through, your slickness already starting to paint the crux of your thighs. With a soft whine of need, you spread your legs a little wider in search of anything but more pain.
âWhat do you think?â Seokjin's voice is dark when he speaks, thick with lust. The thought of him straining hard against his pants has you practically drooling on the mattress. You want nothing more than that cock stretching you open right now. âStarting to learn your lesson?â
As much as the rational part of you appreciates the check-in, you canât ignore the new rush of rebellion that surges up at the question. What, does he think you need him to go easy? Does he think youâre not tough enough, that you canât take everything heâs willing to give you?
You push up to look over your shoulder at him again, your jaw set firm. âNo.â
Anger flashes over his face, but he canât quite hide his smile. âThen I guess I can stop holding back.â
Shit, he wasâ? You donât get the opportunity to finish that thought before the loop of his belt is whizzing through the air, and the impact it makes against your ass hits so hard, you momentarily see stars. âFuck!â
âThat's not a fucking number.â
âFifteen,â you gasp, dropping limp against the bed like a ragdoll, breathless with relief that you didnât lose track. âFifteen.â
âThe brat can count,â Seokjin remarks, and then he delivers sixteen just as hard and your whole body spasms from the pain as you choke out the number. âIf only you knew how old I was, you might have some idea of how much longer I have to beat your ass.â
Your eyes are really starting to well up now, but you force yourself to keep breathing, to focus on his words. It might be coded to fit the scene, but itâs a clear reminder nonetheless: youâre more than halfway. You can do this.
By twenty, the tears have started to spill down your face, but Seokjin knows you well enough to know the scene doesnât stop unless you call a safeword. He trusts you to know your own limits, and you do. But fuck, he can really test them sometimes. Youâre dying for him to touch you, fuck you, do anything but keep fucking beating you. Itâs taking everything in you to keep going, your feet kicking helplessly each time he brings the belt down over your tender backside. He hasnât lightened the weight of his hits up even in the slightest. If anything, theyâre only getting worse.
âTwenty-one,â you breathe. You only have ten hits left, and youâve already gotten through ten hits twice now. You can do this.
âTwenty-two.â You tell yourself not to fight it.
âTwenty-three.â Just give into the pain.
âTwenty-four.â Submit.
Your shoulders heave with sobs as the twenty-fifth strike finally, finally breaks your last resolve. You press your face into the mattress; youâre crying so hard you can scarcely breathe. Even though your body keeps flinching with the reflexive animal reaction to try and get away from the pain, your mind has fully accepted your punishment, all the fight gone out of you.
Itâs like someone else is counting for you now, so much so that you donât even realize what number Seokjin is on until the words leave your mouth.
âThirty-one.â
You hear the jingle and thud of the belt hitting the floor, and then his gentle hands are encouraging your legs to spread apart. The brush of his fingers over your aching core is sweet, overwhelming relief from the pain still coursing through your system. Youâd think itâd be enough to make you cry, if you werenât already.
âGood girl,â he says softly, and that small praise alone has you floating straight up to the ceiling.
His hands move quickly to pull your panties down and off, and you work to get your breathing back under control, letting your sobs dissolve into sniffling gulps. You whimper when his palms slip under your hips, encouraging you up onto your knees. Your body shivers all over as you try to hold yourself up, to be good, and then you feel Seokjin slip two fingers into your drenched center.
âOh my god,â you groan as he starts to rub diligently at the ridges of your front wall, his free hand gripping your ass to spread you open. His touch in both places at once, pressing down on fresh swollen bruises and curling up into the sweetest part of you, itâs so good. It reminds you why you willingly give yourself over to this man, the one you love so much, the only one who can make you feel like this. Youâre so turned on from the mix of pleasure and pain, you might be close to blacking out.
The bed creaks as he shifts a little, and then he replaces his fingers with his mouth, and you keen. You bury your sounds in the crook of your elbow as his tongue plunges into you, and he snakes a hand between your legs to rub slow circles over your clit. Your mind is reeling; you can barely manage to speak.
âS-Seokjin,â you gasp. âYouâre g-gonna, ngh, gonna make meââ
He pulls off just enough to mutter, âYou better fucking ask first.â
You swear he ups the intensity on purpose when his mouth returns to your pussy, as if to drag you that much closer to the edge. His thumb is working so perfectly at your clit, you can feel your thighs starting to shake as you writhe back against him. âCan Iâ can I please come, Seokjin? Pleaseplease, please?â
âNo.â
His voice is firm, unbothered, and paired with the painful loss of his touch all at once. A strangled sob of frustration escapes you as you collapse against the bed, exhausted from holding yourself up and from your denied release.
âNot yet,â Seokjin continues. âNot until youâve learned to be a little more obedient.â
His strong hand closes over your bicep, and he easily flips you over onto your back, causing you to hiss at the graze of your sore flesh against the sheets. Your lower lip trembles, your eyes threatening tears as you stare up at him, but you stay quiet.
âBe a good girl,â Seokjin says, dragging one finger up the column of your throat. You willingly tip your head back for him as a shiver rolls through you. âLet me fuck this smart mouth, then Iâll make you come as many times as you can handle. Okay?â
When you nod softly, he hauls you up to your feet. âGet on your knees.â
You do as he says, sitting back on your heels and watching as he works his pants and boxers down to free his cock. Heâs thick and long, flushed dark and dripping hard. Big enough that you go slightly cross-eyed trying to take him in. Your cunt clenches desperately at his size, at how badly you need all of him inside you, bottoming out into you again and again.
But even moreso, you want to be good.
âMouth open,â Seokjin instructs, and you comply, letting your tongue loll out for him as he tangles a hand in your hair.
He guides himself between your lips, and your eyes roll back at the weight of him on your tongue, the feeling of your jaw stretching open to fit him. Heâs so fucking big, itâs uncomfortable, but you do your best to breathe around him and give into it.
Trying to hold still, hands placed sweetly on your thighs because you know he likes it that way, you blink up at Seokjin as he starts to thrust into your mouth. You can taste the salt of his precum as his length drags along your tongue, and you fight back the urge to gag when the tip of his cock nudges into the back wall of your throat. He groans softly as he rubs himself there, his grip on your hair tightening until the pain stings your scalp. Your eyes start to water as you try to keep yourself from choking.
âFuck,â he hisses when he pulls out, saliva stringing in thick strands from your mouth to the head of his cock. He squeezes at the base of it, eyes glazed dark with lust, and you take in as much air as you can, the cool rush painful where your throat is sore from the stretch of him.
You sit up taller as if to ask for more.
Seokjinâs gaze meets yours as the hand on his cock guides it back toward you, but he doesnât slip back into your mouth. His eyes are fixated hungrily on your face as he drags the head of his dick down over your bottom lip, teasing it around your mouth and along your cheeks, clearly enjoying that he can do whatever he wants with you.
Your pulse drums loudly in your ears as you sit there, mouth open, and take it. The whole lower half of your face must be slick with spit and precum now, given how easily he glides across your skin, and then youâre hit with the heavy thud of him smacking his cock once, twice, three times against your flat, willing tongue.
âAre you done being a brat now?â he prompts, and you can feel drool spilling down your chin as you nod, his cock still weighing heavy on your outstretched tongue. He slips it in a little further, just past the ring of your lips.
âGonna be a good girl for me?â
A soft whine escapes around his girth filling your mouth. You nod again, desperate, and then he hits the back of your throat with enough force to make you gag noisily. Your body shudders beneath him, and you try to keep it together.
âLearned your fucking lesson?â
Tears start to sting at the corners of your eyes as he keeps sliding himself into your mouth, the head of his cock dipping down into the tight clutch of your throat, as far as he can go until your nose is flush with his abdomen. You canât make another sound, your mouth crammed too full, but you do your best to nod even as you lose the ability to keep breathing.
Seokjinâs thumb brushes over the bulge in your throat, and you know what he wants. Tears slip down your cheeks as you squeeze your eyes shut and swallow around him, and he rewards you with an unabashed moan that lights up everything inside you.
âThatâs it. You look so good when you cry on my cock,â he rasps, his hand closing over your throat as you swallow again.
You can feel yourself starting to get light headed from lack of oxygen as more tears stream down your face, but the praise spurs you on. You want it too much, it makes you eager to please at any cost, despite the dizzying surge of adrenaline, despite the way your throat is spasming painfully now. Youâll pass out with his cock down your throat, if thatâs what it takes.
He pulls out all at once, and the rush of air you heave in is like broken glass against your raw throat. You fall forward, your palms just barely catching you from landing directly onto your face, and you canât do anything for a moment but breathe in ragged, shaky gasps. Tears are still welling up in your eyes, dripping down onto the carpet beneath you.
Your world tilts as Seokjin easily scoops you up in his arms just to drop you onto the bed, flat on your back. Thereâs still the dull ache of the bruises he beat into your ass, but itâs like someoneâs turned the volume down on it. All your physical sensations seem distant, like theyâre happening to someone else, even the dull ache thudding between your legs, a desperate desire to come that was only made worse by being used as your boyfriendâs fucktoy.
Your eyes flutter closed as his hands slip up your body to undo your lacy bralette and peel it off of you, and you donât fight it.
âHey, hey. Look at me.â Seokjin's voice pulls you back from the edge, and you fight to open your eyes again. He's hovering over you, fully stripped now, his brow creased slightly with concern. âStay with me a little bit longer, okay?â His tone is still serious, and you sniff softly as you nod.
He slips a palm encouragingly under your thigh and you do the rest, so out of body that itâs like you weigh nothing at all as you pull your knees up to effectively bend yourself in half for him. He practically growls at the sight of you spread for him so willingly, presenting a cunt swollen with need, painted glossy with arousal.
You watch through heavy-lidded eyes as he kneels up on the bed, and then his thick cock is grinding over you, dragged right up your center. The feeling of finally being touched where you need it most has you exhaling a moan of relief.
âIs this what you want?â Seokjin's breath is hot on your neck and chased by the scrape of his teeth, earning another noise of pleasure from you. Your clit throbs as he rolls the head of his dick over it, up and down, slow teasing.
âYes,â you manage to gasp. Your voice comes out a little broken from your scraped-up throat. âYes, please. Please fuck me, please, want it so bad.â
âWhich do you want more?â
Youâre so gone, choking on whimpers and whines, that his hand closes over your throat to make you focus on the rest of his question. The look on his face is so dark, it sends a shiver down your spine.
âMy dick, or my forgiveness?â
Tears spring to your eyes immediately as an overwhelming wave of emotions floods through you. There isnât a doubt in your mind what your answer is, you donât even have to pause to consider it. As badly as you want, need him to fuck you, the thought of Seokjin discarding you when heâs finished, still upset, not kissing every inch of your skin, not praising you for being so good⊠you canât bear it.
âYour forgiveness,â you sob, doing your best to keep breathing despite his hand around your throat. âPlease, please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I just wanna be good, wanna be good for you, I don't need anything else.â
You can see his face soften even through the tears that blur your vision. âThere she is,â he murmurs, and then he tips his head down to brush his lips over yours. The warm touch of his mouth is all the reward you could ever ask for, and he sucks sweetly on your bottom lip before pulling back.
âGood answer, babygirl.â
Before you can even process whatâs happening, heâs fucking the whole of his thick cock into you, and you can only keen as he stretches you wide enough to fit all of him. Your walls are immediately trembling tight to him from how edged close youâve been all night.
âThank you,â you moan, your head dropping back against the pillow. A gasp rips through you as he bottoms out, your spine arching when the crown of his cock presses firmly on your cervix. âThank you, oh fuck.â
âYeah,â Seokjin purrs, his mouth against your collarbone. You think he might be sucking a mark into your skin, but itâs already getting hard to tell whatâs happening. âYou always take it so well after I beat the brat out of you. Let go now, baby. Youâve earned it.â
Youâre grateful for the permission, because youâre not sure you could stay tethered any longer if you tried. Not when heâs splitting you open, thrusting hard and deep because he knows you can take it, with a cock fat enough to light up every sweet spot in you at once. Your eyes roll back as you start to float, so out of it that you barely even notice a faint buzzing sound until you realize Seokjin is pressing your vibrator down against your swollen, aching clit.
Fuck, when did he even grab it off the nightstand?
Youâre vaguely aware of someone moaning, but it doesnât even feel like you. Youâve given up entirely to it now, a sweet surrender to this all-encompassing pleasure. Itâs so good, too good, it slips you out of your mind and body alike, like heâs fucking your brain right out of your skull.
âThatâs it, come on my cock,â Seokjin groans, and fuck, you are, youâre coming hard enough to drench his cock with every pulse of your needy cunt. âSuch a good girl.â
He doesn't even pull the toy off to give you a moment of recovery, just keeps it nestled between your folds as he pounds into you. Your hips shudder violently as you coast out of your first climax and straight into another one.
It all starts to blur together now, wave after wave of orgasm washing over you until youâre drowning in it. You come and come and come until it feels like youâre melting into the bed, pinned through by this massive cock and the endless mind-numbing buzz on your clit. You can distantly tell that youâve soaked a wet spot into the sheets beneath you, that your thighs and even the muscles of your ass are shaking from overstimulation.
âS-S-Seokjin.â It takes you three tries to get his name out, and youâre still not really sure if you said it until the toy switches off. The humming sensation is still reverberating through your body even in the absence of it, enough to make you tremble all over as he picks up the pace.
âGonna fuckingâ fill you up,â Seokjin grunts, voice thick with effort, and then his cock twitches at the very back of you, buried deep as it can go, pulsing heavy as he paints you with rope after rope of his release.Â
Youâre still not here, not really, not when he pulls out with a heavy sigh, when the cum starts to drool down your legs, when he drops onto the mattress beside you and pulls you into him. It comes back to you in pieces: youâre shivering all over, breathing hard, your face is wetâ fuck, when were you crying?
It takes you several moments to realize Seokjin is murmuring in your ear, that his fingers are carding through your hair, his breath ghosting over your skin. âJust breathe, baby. Did so well, itâs over now. Youâre safe.â
As the post-scene comedown settles into your bones, you bury your face into his shoulder, trying to breathe through the myriad of emotions and chemicals flooding your system. He pulls the blanket up over your chest, and the warmth of it and his body help to gently bring you down from the high.
You donât know how long you lay like that until you finally manage to squeak out a question. âY-youâre not really mad, right?â
Seokjin laughs gently as he presses a kiss to your hairline. âNo, baby. I know you didnât really forget. The birthday cake in the fridge kinda gave it away.â
The words take a second to hit you, and then a dazed giggle bubbles up in your chest. Itâs like youâre floating as you start to laugh, your face still pressed into Seokjinâs skin, and you can feel the rumble of him laughing too. It didnât even occur to you that he wouldâve seen the fucking cake when he grabbed himself a bottle of wine.
âOh,â is all you can think to say, and you keep giggling as his lips move over the line of your jaw, trailing kisses.
âYouâre cute when youâre trying to get punished,â he says softly. âIt's part of why I love you. Youâre my perfect little brat. And this was the perfect gift, seriously.â
A warm glow blooms in your chest at the praise, and you sigh happily as you curl up against his side. âCan we eat cake in bed?â
Seokjin leans down to brush his mouth over yours, sweetly adoring. âAnything you want.â
#seokjin smut#seokjin x reader#seokjin x y/n#bts smut#bts x reader#bts fanfic#đ happy seokjin day đ
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âšïžACOTAR Booty Headcanonsâšïž
đPeep the thigh headcanons heređ
Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.
Up next? âšïž Hands âšïž
âšïžBody Headcanons Masterlistâšïž Master Masterlist âšïž
Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak
A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.
A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.
Rhysand-
I like to start off strong..
Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.
He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.
Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.
He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.
To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.
Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below
Cassian-
John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.
Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.
Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.
It is intimidating. Very intimidating.
But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.
Azriel-
Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.
Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.
Much firm. Still jiggle.
You were ready for this jelly.
Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.
Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.
Tamlin-
I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.
We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.
I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.
Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.
He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.
But you bet your ass he is touching yours
Lucien-
I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.
Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.
You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.
You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.
You always walk behind him.
Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.
Eris-
Daddy đ« đ«
Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.
I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass
I mean look at it
Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.
Imagine that ass getting off a horse.
You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.
He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.
And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.
Helion-
You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.
He actually requires a CDL for his ass.
You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.
And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.
He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.
Luckily you have that privilege.
Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters
Feyre-
Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.
The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.
I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.
She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.
She also blushes whenever you touch it.
She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.
I wish I could find a better picture of this đ«
Nesta-
Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.
For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.
Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?
Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.
She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.
She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit
Elain-
If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.
I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.
Right now, though, elain is slimthick.
She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden
Ass. For. Days.
It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.
So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.
You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.
I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.
I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.
General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp
#elizabeths.updates#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel acotar#azriel#rhys acotar#rhysand acotar#cassian acotar#eris acotar#tamlin acotar#lucien acotar#elain acotar#nesta acotar#feyre acotar#acotar headcanons#acotar body headcanons#remember you are perfect the way you are#dont compare yourself to edited pictures of influences and celebrities
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the soft launch (more like hard launch) â social media post
hughes!sister x will smith au
hi! hereâs the first post for my new au :) i figured this is a great way to introduce samy as well as her dynamic with everyone else. iâll be posting more actual fics soon, but also please comment or send me what else youâd like to see for them!!
ps. all of these photos are from pinterest/instagram
au masterlist
samyhughes semester 1 has my heart <3
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lauren11 BAE I LOVE YOU!!
| samyhughes I LOVE YOU!!!!!
hannahduke HELL YEAH UMICH!
| samyhughes ROLL WOLVES! đș
user1 THE YOUNGEST HUGHES IS IN COLLEGE ALREADY???
user2 WAIT WHO IS THIRD PIC??đŠ
dylanduke25 canât believe youâre roommates with my little sister i feel like this is so full circle??
| samyhughes LMAOO i feel you dyl
| lhughes_06 ur telling me
edwards.73 casually posting a pic of someone holding a high noon and then proceeds to make caption first semester which means your underage đđ
| samyhughes ok mom
markestapa WOOOOOO so glad ur at umich with us!
| samyhughes remember when you cried when luke told u i was coming to michigan?
| markestapa now why would u say that on the internet
colecaufield MICHIGAN MICHIGAN MICHIGAN!
| jackhughes why are you giving this energy to my little sister? đ
| colecaufield bc i want to??
jackhughes wait a minute the 3rd picâŠwhere is his mouthâŠ
| samyhughes umm..
user3 lukeâs michigan friends are literally her second brothers AHHHH
user4 wait who isss the guy in the 3rd pic???? she has a bf???
user5 we lost another one boys đ
jacob_fowler24 michigan shit đđ
| samyhughes what does this even mean??
ryan.leno_4 still shoulda come to boston
| samyhughes sorry lean u should of come to michigan đ€·ââïž
aram_minnetian okay hard launch
| samyhughes what i do best âșïž
_quinnhughes STOP STEALING MY HATS WTF
| samyhughes NO
lhughes_06 this post gets a rating of 2/10 because 1. thereâs underage drinking and thatâs a no no 2. his mouth is on your boob 3. i just donât like this post
| samyhughes alright. đ«
user6 mouth placement??????
user7 istg if thatâs will smith iâm losing it
user8 her and will dating makes so much sense omg
graceccsmith so cute samy!!
| samyhughes thanks gracie!! i miss you
_willvote my man made the gram!
| samyhughes ok expose me
gabeperreault44 GET REKTTTTTTTT
| samyhughes gabe i swear đ
_willsmith2 hi buddy i miss you
| samyhughes hi smitty i miss you too come visit me soon
user9 ^^^^ NAHH itâs so will smith
| user10 THEYRE SO ADORABLE AWWW
| user11 childhood best friends to lovers pipeline is so real
_willsmith2 looking good beantown
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gabeperreault44 good stuff good stuff
| _willsmith2 thanks gp
ryan.leno_4 everyoneâs hard launching i see
| _willsmith2 oops
user1 THIS IS FOR SURE SAMY I KNOW IT
graceccsmith so cute will đ„°
| _willsmith2 thanks gđ
jacob_fowler24 damn it when is will gonna hard launch me???
| _willsmith2 next time i promise đ«
aram_minnetian ok we get it u have a gf
| _willsmith2 đđ
user2 AHHHHHHHHHHH WILL AND SAMY CONFIRMED????
user3 them being best friends before this makes this so much better too
user4 someone get them on a podcast or some shit so we can get the backstory!!!
user5 theyâre very golden retriever and golden retriever energy
_willvote i hope iâm invited to the wedding in like 10 years
| _willsmith2 ur 1 on the list
hannahduke WHEN HE POSTS HER >>>
| ryan.leno_4 sheâs so lucky fr
| samyhughes đđ
edwards.73 invading the bf comments hi bf
| _willsmith2 hi ethan
| user6 THEY ALREADY KNOW HIM????? SHDJDJ
markestapa i was summoned and now i see why
| user7 LMAOOO i love mark and ethan
user8 mark and ethan are very big brother being protective core while samyâs at umich bc her actual brothers arenât there
trevorzegras i am here too
| user9 LMAO TREVOR??!
lhughes_06 looking good so far smitty
| _willsmith2 thanks luke đ€
jackhughes iâm still looking at u bc of that one pic on my sisterâs postâŠsuspiciousâŠ
| _willsmith2 pls forgive me jack it was an honest mistake
user10 THE BROTHERS ARE SO FUNNY LDJDJDKS
user11 iâm sure willâs scared of all these boys acting like samyâs big brother
elblue06 so cute will!
| _willsmith2 thanks mama hughes!
| user12 HE CALLS HER MOM ALREADY??!!!
| user13 well she is like his 2nd mom bc their families are so close. i think he calls her that regardless of him dating her daughter LMAO
dylanduke25 found out samy has a bf when i saw this post on my little sisterâs feed :/
| samyhughes LMAO sorry dylan
_quinnhughes see you during the holidays!
| _willsmith2 canât wait to come back to michigan!
rutgermcgroarty đŠđŠđŠ baby hughes has a bf??? and itâs the 4th overall pick from the nhl draft?
| user14 my exact reaction
samyhughes looks like iâve taught u wellđ«Ą
| _willsmith2 i only learn from the best
this is so long my bad but i just love writing the comments for these LOL
#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy hughes#samy x will#will smith x oc#will smith hockey#will smith imagine#boston college hockey#boston college#umich hockey#uofmichigan#umichsoccer#gabe perreault#ryan leonard
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What about a drabble where the oc hasn't seen jk in a while and when they are hanging out, she like finally sees him and smothers him with affection, kissing his moles and you know just giving him kisses and he's all giggly and blus.... Omg what have i done.
right where you left me | jjk
pairing: jungkook x female reader genre(s)&au(s): sfw, fluff, romance, established relationship, domestic happiness, slice of life word count: 2.7k warnings: mention of alcohol + 1 sip bcs oc rather be drunk on luvin koo đ€€đ„Ž oh bet believe we r bringing back blue haired koo just 4 u sarah đ, making out, kisses kisses kisses đđ â srsly i say it 24 times n its still !! not !! enough !! grr, ((maybe a surprise daddy koo who fuckin loves his baby ??)), how many times can i call koo 'pretty' ; the answer is also not enough đ„č !! um, suggestive hints at sex đ«Ł & sav being her typical self and never letting the est rel romance agenda go â srsly i cant do anything else đ« . rating: mature nc17+ for suggestiveness note: unedited asf đ€·đ»ââïžâŠ ive had this lil request in my inbox for a while n wanted so save it for something special. so for @caelesjjk â i hope this makes you smile as much as it did me writing this. happy bday angel ⥠and for the anon who requested this, tysvm i love lil fluff requests like these n hope to do more đ hopefully you also like it too
Sighing a sigh of relief, you have never felt so happy to kick your shoes off at your front door after being away from work for so long. The all too familiar feeling of your feet sinking into the plush grey carpet beneath you fills you with a sense of comfort completely overriding the homesickness that once hovered over you like a bleak grey cloud.
The house is quieter than usual, the only sounds are from the floor creaking as you swap your shoes for your fluffy slippers filling the empty spaces. You pick your keys that you had just thrown on top of the shelf at the front door and hang them up next to your husband's set of car keys; the sight of them hanging gives you the answer that youâve been asking yourself.. Jungkook should be home.
Making your way further into the living space, you notice that the house is kept in the exact same condition it was when you left last week for a girls getaway trip to London. There are the odd toy lying on the floor but other than that, itâs spik and span. The lack of sound from the TV, which is usually showing a rerun of Jungkook or your own favourite show is almost deafening, used to always hearing something playing in the background. Come to think of it, there are also no signs of melodic sounds from Jungkookâs usual soft r&b playlist either.Â
The smell of cooking fills your nose and your mouth starts to water immediately. If Jungkook is unaware of the fact youâre home then you decide that you would keep this up and slowly tip toe into the kitchen in hopes to surprise your husband.
Slowly, you creep through the warmth of your living room and into the kitchen area where Jungkook doesnât seem to be. You frown at the lack of husband in the room, a little worried about his whereabouts. He knows youâre returning today, even offering to pick you up at the airport when you land himself but you refused as your friendâs boyfriend was providing you transport home already.
However, as quickly as your frown came, it left when you find a bottle of red wine sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen, and sitting next to it are two glasses and you canât help but gnaw on your bottom lip to try and suppress your smile. You decide to rummage through the drawers, pulling out a corkscrew and removing the cork from the neck of the bottle. With a pop, the wine bottle opens and the scent of the fruity alcohol mixes with the smell of dinner, which is in the slow cooker behind you and you canât help but let out a low hum of satisfaction. You pick up the bottle and pour the liquid into both glasses until half way.. If you're going to surprise your husband then you may as well do it with a glass of wine to greet him with.
Picking up the glasses in each hand, you decide to head up the stairs to the top level of your home to find Jungkook. As you pass the stairs, you stop and look at the wall which is filled with pictures of you both together as well as pictures of your family. You smile as you look at the images of family holidays, special occasions and fun times youâve spent together. Your wedding picture of you both is centred in the middle and you canât help but smile wider at the image.
Dressed head to toe in white lace and tulle with a diamond centrepiece on the dress, which glitters in the picture as the camera caught a moment between you and Jungkook staring at each other with love and admiration for each other. Jungkook stands next to you in his custom made all white wedding tuxedo and a matching diamond brooch clipped onto his suit jacket. One of his hands was wrapped around your waist as the other was playing with the ends of your hair. You remember in the moment that Jungkook was laughing a boisterous and beautiful giggle right before he kissed you so tenderly for the picture.
It wasnât an image that was meant to be taken but it ended up being your favourite from the wedding shoot.
You move on and climb the rest of the stairs slowly and quietly. As you reach the top, your head turns in the direction of your shared bedroom and immediately you see the door is wide open and the room empty meaning there is only one other place Jungkook could be. You head in the opposite direction when you see the last door at the bottom of the hallway cracked open slightly, only to let a sliver of red light into your view from the hallway.
The faint sounds of keyboard clicks can be heard as you approach the room. Gently, you push the door open to be greeted with Jungkookâs dual monitor screens lighting up the room along with the dark LEDâs. The top of Jungkookâs head can be seen over the headrest of his gaming chair as you see his giant headset resting over his ears, blocking out the sound of the outside world as he continues to click away at the buttons on his keyboard, successfully managing to kill an opponent on the opposite team of the game he is playing.
On one of the monitors, you manage to see the little pop up figure of his body in the corner and notice that heâs shirtless, which isnât something he usually does when he streams. You scrunch your eyes slightly to find that Jungkook has your eight month daughter wrapped up in her favourite white blanket resting herself on his chest as one of his hands sits underneath her to keep her placed comfortably. Itâs now that you register the little snores coming from your baby girl as you lean against the doorway and take in the sight in front of you. Your little girl has her tiny palm opened and resting against her daddyâs skin and her chubby cheek pressing into the bare skin of his chest.
You hear Jungkook hum as he watches over the comment section of his stream as he continues to play, making sure to answer people as quickly as the comments come.
â...Yeah, itâs proven that skin to skin contact between newborn babies and their parents improves bonds long after birth,â you hear Jungkook say and you grin at his answer. You bought those books on pregnancy for you but you swear you caught Jungkook amongst the novels more than yourself. Every night through your pregnancy, Jungkook would tell you a new fact that he had learned for the day and couldnât wait to share it with you.
âIt also lowers stress levels for babies and parents too, as well as promotes a healthy breastfeeding cycle for the little one. Iâd do anything I can to help out _____ in any way I can. Sheâs brilliant. She gave me everything I could ever want right here,â Jungkook says as your little girl rustles slightly against him. âSpeaking of ______, she should be home soon,â he thinks out loud.
Placing both of the wine filled glasses on top of the table on the side wall, youâre able to rummage your hands in your pocket to pull it out. You snap the image in front of you of him on the monitor with your baby in his arms before opening your thread of texts between each other and captioning the moment before sending him the picture.
Jungkookâs own phone lies on the desk with the screen up; lights up with your notification. You watch as heâs quick to grab it and clicks into the notification to enter in your direct messages together.
You [8:32pm] : {image attached} shes already home ;)
Jungkook turns around and sees you standing there waiting for him with the glasses in your hands, smiling fondly at both him and the infant in his arms. He immediately replicates your smile before turning back to the camera he has set up and announcing his departure from tonight's live stream.
Slowly, he moves out of his gaming chair and makes his way over to you. In the week you have been gone his hair has already grown out a few extra inches, the blue ends now long enough to touch his jawline. The front of his hair falls over his face in pretty black wispy curls while some fall from the sides and have been clipped back by a few of your hair clips. Heâs just so beautiful. His bare chest rises up and down gently and slowly while the eight month old girl continues to snuggle herself against her father. You take in the image of intricate swirls and patterns of ink that extend over his shoulder, flexed bicep as he keeps your daughter secure in his arms, all the way down his forearm and hands. Heâs just the prettiest.
âWelcome home, sweetheart,â he whispers as he bends down ever so little to meet you halfway into a sweet kiss. You reach a hand around his neck and pull yourself towards him as he kisses you, chasing his pretty cherry flavoured pouty lips.
âItâs so good to be back home,â you admit. âHow long has she been asleep?â You ask as you run your fingers delicately through her hair.
Jungkook thinks for a moment before telling you itâs only been a couple hours. Jungkook had already fed her and bathed her before he started his stream, so all there is to do now is to put her to bed in her crib.
You exit the gaming room with Jungkook following right behind you. In your bedroom, you place down the wine glasses and youâre quick to sift through your wardrobe to pull out a comfortable outfit to lounge around the house in, one that you hadnât spent falling asleep in on an aeroplane for hours. Jungkook bends over the wooden structure of the crib and places the baby inside. The latch of the crib is secured once more and the sound of her hanging mobile sounds out a soft melody.
Once dressed, you make your way over to Jungkook who is admiring you from the other side of the room having missed his beautiful wife for a week. With his hair now removed from the hair clips and almost fully covering his glittering eyes, he flashes you that all too familiar, signature pretty smile he has before reaching out for you and enveloping you in his arms.
You jump into his embrace and lock your legs around his waist from behind, cupping his cheeks as you smother each other in kisses, whispering soft greetings and compliments.
âIâm so happy to see you again,â you whisper faintly as you continue to press kiss after kiss after kiss onto his lips. âIâm so lucky to have you as mine,â you finish.
Jungkook smiles as he starts to walk out of the room, reaching for the baby monitor as he keeps you secured in his arms and you reach for the wine from behind him, taking a generous, long overdue sip. Jungkook carries you down the stairs and into the kitchen where he places you down on the kitchen island and closes the gap between the both of you, placing his lips back on yours quickly and much more demanding than the last few times.
He grins at you, a glimmer in his eye and he hums suggestively. âIâm right where you left me darling,â he winks, his accent lacing his words as you listen to him attentively.
After years of being with each other, it never stops getting exciting being with Jungkook. The warmth that was once in your tummy has spread all over, goosebumps now covering your skin. Being in his arms definitely feels like home; a sense of safety and security that you yearn for that only Jungkook can provide you.
Deepening the kiss, you push your tongue past the seam of his lips eagerly and let it tangle with his own. You both smile into the kiss as his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you closer to the edge of the marble island and further into his embrace.
You canât help but whimper when you break the kiss in favour of leaning into his neck and kissing the skin there. You lick your lips and make sure to leave wet trails as you travel further down towards your desired target. You give the little mole on the side of his neck a sweet peck, over and over, the wet sounds of your mouth leaving his skin fills the space.
A small growl vibrates through Jungkookâs chest, his hold on you becoming slightly tighter as you continue to dote on him. It isnât long before your kisses turn into soft bites and vigorous sucks, planting cherry shaded blossoms over the mole on his neck.Â
â_____,â mm, baby, am I not the one that is meant to be taking care of you tonight.. afterall you have just come back?â Jungkook moans.
Jungkook pulls away from you and stands taller to await your answer. Gazing into your eyes, you watch as his own eyes do that pretty thing where it smiles before Jungkook physically smiles. Itâs your favourite trait he has.
âAnd who said that was the case, huh?â You jest with a light and teasing tone before continuing, âyouâre taking care of me by letting me kiss my pretty husband. Youâre taking care of me by letting me make you feel good.â
The only thing Jungkook can do in response is giggle, a light sanguine blush finding home on the apple of his full cheeks and you canât help but wrap one of your hands around his neck and the other flat against the taut, hard muscle of his pectoral, caressing the skin back and forth before pulling him back in to chase his lips once more.
The kiss is unhurried, soft and gentle, yet with a hint of hunger for each other as the both of you take your time to enjoy being together once more. You bite Jungkookâs lower lip, drawing a shaky moan out of him as your teeth grazes his bottom lip and then letting it snap back into his smile pleasantly.
You canât help but peck at the tiny mole under his lip and smile back at him, your silent way of telling him you love him. And then a thought pops into your head, one you know that Jungkook loves that you do.
Drawing Jungkook back in towards you, you press another little kiss to his bottom lip mole before travelling a little further down and kissing on the beauty spot just on top of his chin. You make a scene of it, letting out a loud âmwahâ sound as you continue to kiss away.
Moving on, you find the next two moles that are top and bottom of each other close to his ear and bathe them in love and affection just like you had done to the other two previous.
Jungkook loves when youâre soft and delicate with him. It isnât something he would admit too to his group of friends but being dotted on, being cared for and loved admirably the way you do melts at his heart.
âBaby,â he whines as you tilt your head back slightly to plant a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose, your favourite place to kiss kiss kiss.
His hands slide under the fabric of your sweater, his hands warming your skin up more than the material did. âThe last time we started off doing this,â he exaggerates his words by squeezing at your hips and then removing one of them to point towards the ceiling, âthat happened,â he grins as fond memories of filthy kitchen antics replays in his mind.
His words ignite something inside of you akin to fireworks as he mentions your sleeping baby currently curled up in her cot. You react by wrapping your dangling legs back around his frame, pushing him further into you by your ankles as you heat up at his words and grin at him playfully.
âAnd what would be so wrong with that?â
Stunned, Jungkook doesnât seem to know how to react to your words. It hasnât been a topic of conversation about having another baby this soon, although you both have agreed that you both want a larger family.
âThis soon?â
Now you ponder his words for a split second, already knowing your answer and already knowing that you want to start trying again for another baby as soon as you can. You lean in closer, your lips ghosting his as you close your eyes and breathe in your husbandâs natural scent. âTake me to the dining table, koo.â
note2: donât be a silent reader & leave some feedback in my asks, reblog with a nice comment or even a lil reply saying if you enjoyed â big or small, they go a long way! supporting writers is always important <33
#btshoneyhive#btscarnivalnet#btswritingcafe#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook imagines#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook drabble#jungkook drabbles#jungkook au#jungkook smut#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fics#bts imagine#bts aus#bts fanfics#bts scenarios#jungkook fics#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts#bangtan
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It's only up from here now on, kid
Since this one won in the poll that I put out, here it is âđŒ
Thank you so much @alotofpockets for the help with this post!
Let me know what you all think & I hope you like it.
Ps. It's almost 2 am and I'm tired so I apologise if the last bit of this doesn't make much sense at all... đ«
âItâs going to be fine, remember?â Beth tries her best to reassure you as she takes a gentle hold of your hand on her own, âJust breathe, youâre okayâ she adds.
âIâm scaredâ You admit, barely louder than a whisper.
Viv glances at you and smiles at you sympathetically from the seat opposite, âItâs normal to feel like you do, kleintjeâ she tells you.
âWeâre going to be right here for you the whole timeâ Beth promises you as she moves her free arm to wrap it around your shoulder and tug you in a little bit closer, âWeâre not leaving youâ she states in reassurance.
It was unfortunate for you that the day of your planned surgery came around quicker than you initially wouldâve liked and you couldnât avoid it any longer now.
The way that your uninjured knee bounced up and down anxiously and your hands that were ridiculously clammy was a clear indication of actually how worried and scared you were about this.
Both Beth and Viv could tell straight away that you were beginning to freak out the moment that you had stepped into the waiting room; Youâd always hated hospitals, there was just something about them that made you always try and avoid them when it was possible.
However, this surgery wasnât something that you could just brush under the carpet, because it was important and it was needed if you wanted to continue with your career.
Initially you thought the hardest thing that you would have to face would be dealing with the aftermath of it all, listening to the media drone on about how this injury would rule you out the rest of the current season and any international breaks for the next 9 months, like you didnât already need enough of a reminder about your dream of the olympics being over.
It was like a virtual kick in the teeth.
You hated the fact you were sidelined from the games and despite how much you had the support of Beth, Viv, Laura, Leah and hell even the rest of the girls, it still hurt to deal with it all.
Even Kyraâs mischievous ways couldnât put a smile on your face most days, nor the adorable puppy cuddles from Myle, Beth & Vivsâ new pup that youâd completely fallen in love with.
âIs it too late to just turn around and go back home?â You canât help but wonder, glancing around the hospital waiting room apprehensively.
Beth lets out a small laugh, âWe canât do that kiddo, weâre already here nowâ she replies to your question.
Pouting quietly, you fumble with your hands which has become a trait that youâd do when you're nervous, âI⊠I donât want to be here. Iâm scaredâ you confess.
âI know kiddo, but you have nothing to be worried aboutâ The blonde tells you in reassurement, doing her best to ease your worries about your feelings of the upcoming surgery, âThe surgeons are good, they know what they're doing hereâ she reminds you.
âThey have done it enough timesâ Viv chips in quietly, earning a small chuckle from Beth.
âI hate hospitalsâ You complain a few seconds later.
âI know that you do, kiddoâ Beth smiles at you sympathetically, all but wishing that she could take your pain and suffering away.
It had hurt Beth and Viv so much to see you go down on the pitch in the way that you did, theyâd not openly had a conversation about it but it was definitely understood that they shared mutual feelings about the whole situation.
None of it was fair for you, you were on the path to succeed and just like that, this cruel injury has wiped that all away in just a blink of an eye.
Life really was cruel sometimes.
âCan you⊠Can you run me through it again, please? Just so I remember whatâs going to happenâ You mumble quietly, but still loud enough for the two women to hear you ask the question, âPleaseâ You whisper, sounding unusually vulnerable compared to usual.
âOkayâ Beth exhales a sigh, sheâd already run over the whole procedure of what would happen at least twice, or maybe even three times previously, but if it eased your own worries than sheâd do what she could to help you out, âYou want me to run you through the procedure, or the whole of it in general?â she wonders.
âAll of itâ You whisper, fumbling with the strings of yoursâ Lauraâs hoodie that you had somehow stolen from her but you liked the way that it buried you and made you feel small enough to try and escape the world.
The blonde nods in understanding before she starts to explain it once more, âSo in the next hour or so from now, your namesâ going to be called and youâll be taken to the room that youâll be in before your operationâ she pauses for a minute to let you catch up to speed, âYouâll have a hospital gown to change into that theyâll give you when you go into the room along with a pair of them snazzy socks, huh? So you just be able to pull the look offâ she jokes with you, trying to keep the conversation light and jokey to avoid you getting any further worried.
âNobody can pull a look like that off, well other than Leah I supposeâ You mumble as you giggle slightly at the comment.
âWell she can pull anything offâ Viv chuckles, shaking her head amusedly as she tries to bury her own feelings down to not have you feel any more scared than you need to be.
âEven a bin bagâ Beth jokes with you both, âAlright, so your surgery isnât until 4 oâclock, remember? So youâre going to have to wait a bit, but weâll be right in the room with you to keep you company, up until the minute you go downâ she adds.
You follow along and nod, somehow Beth running through everything again does a little something to settle your bubbling nerves, âWhat happens after that?â you ask.
âBefore you go down to the operating room, there will be an anaesthetist that will come and see you beforehand to discuss the options of anaesthetic before you go downâ The blonde tells you, pausing for you to quickly catch up on the last bit of information, âRemember how we spoke about the anaesthetist inserting a cannula into your vein as well? Theyâll do that, so theyâll be able to administer any medicine thatâs needed during the operationâ she tells you.
âWill the cannula hurt?â You start to panic once more, you were vaguely familiar with the fact that a cannula was a sharp needle that would be painful and you absolutely hated needles.
âIt will be just like a sharp string, but itâll be over soon enoughâ Viv is quick to tell you when she notes the panic in your eyes, they both definitely knew how much you hated anything medically, and theyâd definitely experienced their fair share of dealing with your panic attacks when youâve needed any type of injections in the past, âTheyâll give you the anaesthetic thatâll put you to sleepâ she adds.
âWill it be a n⊠needle?â You absolutely hate needles, youâre terrified of them and every single doctor's experience in the past had always been disastrous ever since you were little.
âYou wonât feel it initially, kleintjeâ Viv tells you as she places a gentle hand on your uninjured knee to stop it bouncing anxiously, âYouâll have a cannula in your hand. When you're down in the operating room, the anaesthetist will ask you to count backwards from 10 while they administer it and before you even get to finish, youâll be completely out of it so they can begin the operationâ she explains to you.
You slump your shoulders as you feel slightly more at ease, âOh, okay then. That⊠That doesnât sound too bad thenâ You mumble, swallowing the lump that forms in your throat, âSo the doctors will know what theyâre doing?â
âThey do, they have done it enough timesâ Beth says as she lightly chuckles.
âAnd when I wake up from surgery then Leah and Laura will be here as well, right?â You ask hopeful, after all theyâd both told you that they would be and you hoped that they wouldnât break their promise.
âYes, they have both promised that they will be hereâ Beth replies in agreement.
Smiling slightly, you nod in agreement with the blonde, âThey canât break the promise then, can they?â You quietly ask, fumbling with the strings again.
âNo they can't, otherwise theyâll face a very unhappy girl after surgeryâ The blonde jokes, ruffling your hair, which earns a small grumble of protest from you.
âFeel less nervous now?â Viv questions, hopeful that you did feel at ease a little bit.
âA little bit, but I really hate hospitalsâ You huff in annoyance, shaking your head, âAnd I really hate stupid kneesâ as wellâ You mumble quietly.
Beth canât help but snort amusedly, âDonât we all, kiddo⊠Donât we all, hey?â she jokes, still trying to keep the conversation light still.
âOkay, weâre going to take you down now, Y/Nâ The surgeon tells you once theyâve finished spieling all of the medical jargon, which you didnât really listen to too much.
When they placed the cannula, you canât deny that it didnât hurt. There were a few tears in your eyes, but you consider yourself to be mostly brave in comparison to not freaking out about it.
âO⊠Okayâ You swallow the nervous lump in your throat that had formed, the nerves settling in once again.
Beth takes a gentle hold of your own when she can sense your worries, âDonât be scared, kiddo. Youâre in great handsâ she reassures you, or at least tries to do that.
âWeâll be right here waiting for you when you come backâ Viv chips in, trying to contain her own fears and worries in favour of yours.
You glance between them wearily, âY⊠You promise?â You question in fear, although you know that of course theyâll be sat waiting in the room for you and they wouldnât let you go through this on your own.
âWe promiseâ Beth replies in agreement.
âWe promise, kleintjeâ Viv adds in.
âLove you bothâ You tell them, itâs barely louder than a whisper but both women are able to hear it and smile at you fondly.
âWe love you too, kleintjeâ Viv tells you, placing a light kiss on the top of your head.
Beth smiles and swaps places with Viv to be closer to you, âWe love you so much, our wonder kidâ she tells you, kissing the top of your head again, âWeâll be right here when you come back. Weâre not going anywhereâ she adds.
The very single second that you left the hospital room with the surgeons, it was like Viv completely fell apart trying to hold it together any longer now you werenât there, constantly pacing the floor in the hospital room up and down as Beth watched her girlfriend, worriedly.
âViv, youâre pacing the floor so much. You might put a dent in itâ Beth jokes lightly, furrowing her eyebrows as she watches in concern as her girlfriend get worked up
âI know, I canât help itâ Viv admits as she still continues to pace the floor, not pausing to take a breath or speak to her girlfriend,Â
âI think you might be more nervous than Y/N was before she went downâ Beth jokes, trying to keep the mood in the room light.
âI am nervous for Y/Nâ Viv admits quietly, just loud enough for her girlfriend to be able to hear what she said.
Bethsâ facial expression softens in realisation at just how worried Viv actually was about you and your impending surgery, âWhy didnât you tell me?â she asks.
âBecauseI was trying to be strong for Y/N, she was scared enough without seeing me to fall to piecesâ Viv explains to the blonde, shaking her head and still continuing to pace the floor, âYouâre not worried for her?â she asks.
âOf course, I am nervous for her but Iâm trying to be brave for her and put my feelings asideâ Beth replies to the Dutch womansâ question, âI know itâs hard to keep it all in though. You know that sheâs going to be okay thoughâ she tells her.
Viv exhales a sigh and shakes her head, âIâm trying, but itâs so hard and sheâs still so young. None of this is fair, Bethâ she mumbles.
âI know, leifjeâ Beth mumbles in agreement before she exhales a sigh herself.
âThis is her first major surgery. You saw how scared she looked before, I just canât help but be worried right nowâ Viv states, still pacing the floor continuously.
Beth frowns and moves to step in front of her girlfriend to stop any further pacing, âViv, leifje. I know youâre worried for her but you know that the surgeons here are good and you know that sheâs in safe handsâ she does her best to reassure her girlfriendsâ own fears.
Viv halts from her continuous pacing and exhales a loud sigh, âI know, and I know that too as well but I still canât be less worried about her until I see herâ she confesses.
âThat might still be a while yet though, so how about we just sit down?â The blonde suggests, gesturing to the empty chairs in the room, âThis pacing isnât healthy eitherâ she notes.
âWhat if something goes wrong?â Viv questions in concern.
âViv, Y/N/N is going to be fineâ Beth still tries to reassure her girlfriend, gently pulling her towards the empty chairs, âSheâs going to be so braveâ she tells her.
âBut what ifââ Vivsâ question is cut off.
âViv, leifjeâ Beth interjects with a soft smile, âListen, I know youâre worried but thereâs nothing that we can do to control this right now. Y/N is in safe hands with the medical professionals, remember?â she reminds her girlfriend.
âYouâre right, I know you are but what ifââ Viv starts to speak again.
âVivianne, all that we can do right now is sit down and waitâ Beth cuts in, holding her girlfriendsâ hand in her own, âIâm just as worried about her as you are, but all of this pacing the floor isnât going to help ease your worries nor mine, so please just come and sit downâ she tells her girlfriend gently.
âOkayâ The Dutch woman nods in agreement and moves to sit down beside her girlfriend.
Beth smiles at the woman and joins her to sit down, âThank you. Y/N/N is going to be okay, sheâs our strong girlâ she states, trying to remain positive for the both of them.
âWeâre here!â Laura announces, rushing into the hospital room as fast as she could without injuring herself again.
âWe made it here, finally. Traffic was a nightmare on the way hereâ Leah follows the younger girl in, shaking her head, disgruntled by the typical London traffic that made her get stuck in the middle of rush-hour traffic.
âYou both made it here, thatâs the main thingâ Beth breathes a sigh of relief that sheâd been holding in for a while, glad that both of them had made it to the hospital before you came back from surgery.
âThe room was a little hard to find. Hospitals always confuse me stillâ Laura mumbles, moving to sit down in an empty seat in your hospital room.
âBaby England still down in surgery?â Leah questions, settling into the seat Laura.
âYesâ Viv exhales a sigh.
âThey took her down around 4 pm, so hopefully it wonât be much longer nowâ Beth hopes as she takes a quick glance at the time on her phone, apprehensive to mention anything about complications in case that would make Viv panic all over again.
âGotchaâ Leah nods in understanding, glancing between the couple, âHowâre you both holding up?â she checks in with them.
Beth canât help but chuckle slightly, âWell I think Vivâs been a lot more nervous about this than I was led to believe, so it seems like Iâm just trying to hold it together for the two of us at this point nowâ she jokes with the blonde, mock-teasing her girlfriendsâ need to worry so much.
âHey, Y/N is like our own kid. Youâre just as worried about her as I am!â Viv insists firmly, shaking her head at her blonde girlfriend.
âI am worried, leifjeâ Beth responds in agreement, taking a gentle hold of her girlfriendsâ hand in her own.
Leah chuckles slightly and shakes her head, âThe rest of the girls all send their love, theyâd be here as well but they didnât want to crowd her too much. Steph had to pull Kyra back from her trying to get in my car to join usâ she adds in, amusedly.
âWe can invite them around when Y/N/N is up for visitorsâ Viv suggests, trying to chat now to distract any more nervous thoughts about you. Beth was right, you were in safe hands and there was nothing that she could do to change what happens in the operating room.
Beth smiles and nods in agreement, âIâm sure sheâd like thatâ she states.
It felt like several more hours had passed before you finally made an appearance in the room, fast asleep still from the general anaesthetic that youâd been given.
âHere she isâ Leah cheers quietly as she spots you still asleep as they wheel your bed back into the hospital room.
âSurgery went well?â Viv checks in with the surgeon.
âSurgery went very wellâ The surgeons beams a wide smile in agreement with the woman.
Given the general post-op run down from the surgeons, they left the room and the ACL crew were now just waiting for you to wake up and come back around from the anaesthetic, which wasnât too long afterwards thankfully.
âAh, look whosâ finally woken upâ Beth jokes when she sees your eyes prise open, âHello sleepy headâ she adds.
You groan as you come around from the slumper you were previously in, feeling slightly disoriented about things, âUgh. Where am I?â You mumble, not completely aware of your surroundings yet.
âYouâre in hospital, Y/Nâ Beth chuckles slightly and shakes her head, âDid you bang your head down there, huh? Weâre all here for you, just like we saidâ she motions around the room the 4 familiar faces.
âMhm, oh yeah. Had knee surgery-- Le, you're here, you came!â You mumble in realisation as you squint your eyes and look round the room, spotting Leah and Laura along with Beth and Viv, who had been strangely quiet still since youâd woken up.
"Ahem, I'm here too, you know?" Laura chips in, amusingly.
"Laur! You're here too!" You exclaim in realisation, excited to see the older girl, "Can I go home now?" You ask, eager to get out of the hospital as you thought you had already been here long enough.
âWhoa easy there, letâs just take it slow, huh? Thereâs no rushâ Beth replies, laughing amusedly as she watches you try and climb out of the hospital bed, still very much under the anaesthetic so you couldnât feel how much pain you were really in.
You canât help but pout in disappointment, âMy own bedsâ more comfier than this one thoughâ you note.
Leah can't help but chuckle amusedly, "Glad to see that you've not lost your sense of humour, baby England" she teases you lightly.
"Le!" You exclaim in glee, so high still from the anaesthetic that you forgot she was here again and you are just so happy to see her again, "You're here!" You add in joy.
"I am. I promised you that I would be here, didn't I?" The blonde defender laughs in amusement at your own expense, "It's nice to see that you're in the land of the living now, eh?" she still continues to tease you.
The second that you lie your eyes on Viv, it only takes a few seconds before the floodgate of tears is opened as you stare at her in shock, before you giggle slightly.
"Seriously, Vivi? You told me to not be worried yet here you are, balling your eyes out" You can't help but laugh hysterically, mostly from the anaesthetic making you feel so loopy, "This whole time you've been so worried yourself!" You add in.
Beth chuckles and shakes her head amusedly, "Oh kiddo, she's been beside herself with worry" she tells you as she gently squeezes you on the shoulder, "Remember now, it's only up from here now on, kid" she tells you.
"It's only up from here now on" You parrot the blonde in agreement, happy enough to be closer to leaving that dreaded hospital.
© scribblesofagoonerr
#woso x reader#arsenal x reader#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso one shot#arsenal women x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#beth mead x reader#vivianne miedema x reader#meadema x reader#leah williamson x reader#laura weinroither x reader#heavy angst
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Ik the summer sleepover is long gone đ„Č But i got hit with Matt Murdock feels and I saw the angst prompt list. Feel free to ignore this!!!!!
So this is for my fave catholic hoe đ«
"You have to let go." - Y/N's already dead and he keeps hallucinating that she's still there
or
"I give up. You won." - Y/N breaks up with Matt because he always keeps her at arms length but it reaches breaking point when Elektra comes back
Chose wisely đđ
I could never ignore anything you send me, my dear friend â„ïž I hope you like what I did. I went with the first one BUT your second prompt reminded me of a Matt fic I wrote awhile back called Unsung Hero, so if youâre feeling ambitious, Iâll leave it linked HERE.
Thank you for always sending me things that pop into your brain, I love them â„ïž
Letting Go
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F! Reader
Warnings: Death, dealing with grief
Word Count: 1.4K-ish
Summary: Youâve been gone for awhile yet Matt still feels you everywhere he goes, he swears youâre there with him but youâre not and in order to start processing his grief, he has to say goodbye
As always, thank you for reading! Â I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Donât be shy to tell me your favorite part. đđ đ
It hit him every time he walked into the apartment. It was here where he felt an overwhelming sense of your presenceâŠonly you werenât there, you had been dead for 8 months now.
Reminders of you were scattered all over the apartment like stray pairs of earrings on the nightstand, a bottle of your favorite perfume, or the blanket you used to when you were quietly reading on the couch.
Not having his sight, Matt was never exactly sure what you looked like. He only had the pictures in his mind. Based on the description you had given him, he knew your eye color, your hair color, and the tone of your skin but he remembered the softness in your voice, the curves and hollows of your body, and the sound of your heartbeat as you slept soundly next to him.
Matt could never see your smile but he knew when you were smiling. He felt it tug on his heart as it stretched across your face when he did something to make you laugh or when he called you âsweetheartâ but it also crushed him to taste the salt in the air if you had been crying.
He loved the smell of fresh flowers you would bring home every Friday for your date night at home but you always bought ones that didnât have a strong scent because you didnât want it to be too overwhelming for him. He loved how considerate you were, worrying about overloading his senses, like if the music was too loud or if cleaning products were too strongly scented.
Mattâs only wish was that he could have kept you safe, he wished he could have protected you, and more than anything he wished he wasnât the first one to hear your heart stop beating.
Everywhere he went, he felt you with him, and he swore you were there. When Matt stopped for his morning coffee or Thai food, he had to stop himself from ordering your usual. He just couldnât believe you were gone. You were dead and never coming back.
The guilt ate at him every day. Matt blamed himself and his nights as the Devil of Hellâs Kitchen suffered because of it. âWhatâs the point in doing this if I couldnât save the one person I loved the most?â He had asked himself after a particularly bad night.
Talking to Father Lantom helped but not as much as he hoped it would. Matt wanted answers that Father Lantom didnât have. He would just tell him that âGod had his reasons.â And Matt just thought he was being punished in every way possible. It was the typical Catholic guilt.
âI know you donât wanna hear it but you know exactly what I would do, Red. Iâd make sure theyâd never get back up again.â Frank had said.
By asking Frank for advice, you knew Mattâs desperation was apparent as he had seriously contemplated taking their life. He knew it wouldnât bring you back but maybe it would make him feel better knowing he avenged your death.
Maybe the hallucinations would stop, maybe he would stop hearing your voice in his head, and just maybe it would stop him from reaching for you as he was trying to fall asleep at night. The scum of Hellâs Kitchen felt his wrath every night and with every punch he landed, with every drop of blood that was spilled, he had hoped he would start to feel better but he didnât.
And what about the tortured and unspeakable dreams where he would have to hear you cry out in pain over and over again. The heartbreak Matt felt left him miserable enough to be vulnerable whether he was awake or asleep.
At least when he was awake, he could throw himself into his work, talk to Foggy and Karen, and you would be far away from his mind. It was the alone time that left him confused, angry, and ashamed. Those feelings infiltrated his body where his heart was scorched and irregular with spasms.
âI still feel her here, Foggy! I can still smell her perfume, feel her smile against my lips, and hear her laugh. I swear sheâs still here!â Said Matt, emphatically.
âBut sheâs not Matt, sheâs gone.â Foggy had said.
You knew all of this was true because you were stuck in between worlds, you could see him. And like an angel on his shoulder you were there with him, protecting him as he was protecting his city.
As he sat perched on the rooftops of Hellâs Kitchen, you would reach for him, gently brushing his shoulder, and you were positive that he could tell you were there by the way his head would tilt to the side. You knew you couldnât stay with him forever, but long enough to be able to tell him goodbye and that you were alright.
With his cheeks flushed with rage and his mouth twisted in anger, Matt left the office and headed for home even though thatâs where he felt your presence the most.
He decided not to go out that night but instead he set aside the random belongings that you had left behind, held them in between his fingers, and gently inhaled the scent of your perfume one last time.
âYouâre here with me now, arenât you angel. I know you are; Iâm not crazy like Foggy thinks I am.â Said Matt.
Youâd give anything to be able to touch him again, to feel his days-old stubble against your cheek, or run your fingers through his soft brown hair.
You werenât sure what you were feeling but knew you didnât have much time so you moved in close to look at him one more time.
Matt was so handsome. You were going to miss his hazel colored eyes with the little flecks of gold like autumn leaves, the dimple on his cheek when he smiled, his soft full lips against yours, and the low gravelly tone of his voice. It always sounded so calm and soothing to you except on the night you died.
His screams could probably be heard for blocks in every direction but he was the last thing you saw before your world went dark and you were suddenly looking down at your body while Matt tried and then the paramedics tried to revive you.
After your funeral, Matt stayed after everyone else had left and apologized profusely for not being able to save you. Matt had to let you go but he told himself that burden of guilt rested on his shoulders. Although, you knew it wasnât his fault.
You knew he couldnât hear you but you replied anyway.
âIâm here, Matty, but I have a feeling not for much longer.â You said, trying to touch his hand but it just passed straight through and maybe you willed him to hear you as you spoke again. âYou have to let go.â
You sensed he was ready to say goodbye which pained you more than that muggerâs lethal stab wound ever could.
âI donât want to but I have to let you go, sweetheart.â Matt said as his eyes shined with unshed tears. âIâll always love you, y/n.â
If you were capable of crying, you would have.
âIâll always love you too, Matt.â You said with a warm smile and âtouchingâ his face.
He closed his eyes and let out a long exhale just as you swept your hand across his cheek, almost as if he could feel your touches.
A slight smirk stretched across his lips as he said, âYouâre trying to tell me youâre ok, arenât you.â
Your hand ghosted against his other cheek and he smiled again.
âIâm ok, Matty. Itâs alright, you can let go now.â You said.
The light at your back was calling to you. It was time to go. Although you didnât know where you were being called to, you wished with all your heart that Matt would be alright and deep down, you knew he would be.
As you turned to walk away, you gazed at Matt one last time, committing to memory what he was wearing, the look on his face, and any other small things you never wanted to forget about him.
You loved the way he adjusts his glasses, rolls the sleeves of his dress shirt up, the way he puts his suit on in the morning, or anytime he kissed you and told you he loved you.
You wondered if he had little things about you he committed to his memory, and if he did, what were they? It made you sad that youâll never know what they could be but you hoped that Matt Murdock would never ever forget you.
Tag List: @munsonownsmyass @gijos @chezagnes @elgrandeavocados @freshabogados @matt-erialgirl
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @k-marzolf @fluffyprettykitty @hellskitchens-whore
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it! Iâve only tagged a handful of people. If you liked it, you can tell me, I donât bite. I know I havenât written for Matt in awhile, no pressure.
#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock x fem!reader#matt murdock fanfic#matt murdock angst
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grishaverse dashboard simulator
đ€Ż conspiracy-theories follow
theory: the sun summoner is definitely still alive. all we know is that she âgave up her life to save ravkaâ but how? have YOU ever heard of a grisha dying from using their powers?? it just doesnt make sense.
đ ruinsruiners follow
Bitch shes a SAINT. All saints die. Move on lmao
đș awooga10384 follow
alina was different and u know it just bc she was a âsaintâ doesnt mean she had to die op is right and ur being an asshole get off their post
âïž starkovers follow
not you calling her alina like you know her personally⊠put some respect on her name bruh
đș awooga10384 follow
wait til u find out not everyone is religious and ravkan and doesnt use sankta labels n shit
âïž starkovers follow
the way i literally never even mentioned religion⊠the lack of reading comprehension on this site is insane
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âŽïž wraithupdates follow
Friendly reminder to DNI if you think the Wraith and D*rtyh*nds are together! We do not welcome you guys on this blog :)
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đ€ïž saintlydays follow
drew some fanart of sankta anastasia i hope you guys like it!! i drew her with a bleeding eye because shes the saint of sickness and when my mom was sick her eye started bleeding for like 2 days straight lol but i prayed to sankta anastasia and she made my mom get better even though her eye is permanently damaged and my sister and dad could not recover and they passed away after like 5 days of pain (we stabbed them to put them out of their misery)
#sankta anastasia #saint anastasia #saint #sankta #saints fanart #sankta fanart #sankta anastasia fanart #saint anastasia fanart
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đș giddyuphorsey follow
tired of yall stereotyping kerch as a dark and gloomy place⊠not all of us live in ketterdam or in the north in general. its extremely offensive to us so please fucking stop.
đ ravkasbeauty follow
womp womp
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â grishapolls follow
đ„inferni-heart follow
Sturmhond is a privateerâŠ
đ§ââ razorskull follow
who gaf
đ„inferni-heart follow
Shut up you dirty kerch ketterdam gang member money worshipping heathenÂ
đ§ââ razorskull follow
it was never that deep but okay..
201 notes
𩮠shadowsandbones follow
not trying to b racist or anything but why do grisha always act like theyâre better than anyone else⊠and why doesnt anyone ever call them outâŠ
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đŠ merchingaway follow
JUST FOUND OUT THAT WYLAN VAN ECKâS BOYFRIEND IS DIRTYHANDâS EX LMFAO WHATTTT
đ« theseventhsoldier follow
guys im shu can someone please tell me that dirtyhands is not what i think it means⊠i keep seeing that name all over this app and im so confused
đŠ merchingaway follow
trust me its not but based on this new infoâŠ
981 notes
đŁ boomboomboom follow
JUST TRIED A ZEMINI PIE FOR THE FIRST TIME MY LIFE IS FINALLY COMPLETE đđđđđđ
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đȘŽ green-skies follow
Funny how people keep hating on Kerch when Fjerda is RIGHT THEREE
đ ravkasbeauty follow
as a heartrender whos grisha mom got captured by a fjerdan ship: womp womp
đ§đŸââïž zowaaaa follow
also op is kaelish so like⊠why tf are they talking lmao
đ ravkasbeauty follow
right!! also fjerdans are barely on the internet (too many grisha here for them lmao) so its not really funny bc they cant see it
âïž starkovers follow
kerch on the other hand⊠most chronically online mfs iâve ever seen
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#this is post ck but pre kos ig because i havent read that duology yet#i am dying to read it so i will soon#grishaverse#the grisha trilogy#six of crows#alina starkov#sturmhond#nikolai lantsov#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#shadow and bone#dashboard simulator#is that all... it better be#oh âboomboomboomâ is not supposed to be wylan btw#kanej#wesper
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Klaroline Fic: The Wolf IV [3/13]
Summary: Five years after the downfall of the Mikaelson family, Caroline returns to New Orleans to fulfill the promise she made to Marcel: one day, she would be back for the man he has been keeping prisoner in the bowels of the old compound, and she would not be leaving without him. But the plans to abandon the city's eternal loop of tragedy behind once and for all are thwarted when a new enemy with unexpected old ties resurfaces, threatening not just Eve's life, but Caroline's as well. -- S04E03 Where You Left Your Heart âš Morning comes as an oppressive affair to Klaus.
After years withering away in an underground hole, watching the sun rise again makes him ill at ease. This infinite stretch of blue over his head, so brutally bright, is an assault on his senses. Makes him feel exposed. Even his lungs protest the crisp and clear air, thick with dew and the smell of lush trees on the cusp of summer.
Itâs so⊠pure.
For five years, Klaus' entire universe was reduced to the barren space of a meager salt circle, surrounded by nothing but darkness. There was no solace in that glorified grave, no respite. Every second he spent there was laden with a crushing sense of despair that devoured what little soul he had left.
All of this vastness, this breathtaking beauty, so rich with its light and vibrancy... It doesn't feel real anymore. The richer and livelier the world around him gets, the harder it becomes to anchor himself in the here and now.
He should be glad it's over, exultant to be out of that awful place. Instead, Klaus feels⊠Unmoored. Adrift.
No wonder he couldn't shut his eyes for a bloody second all through the night. He has never been much of a sleeper, but he is still weak with the traces of dark magic ravaging his system, a weariness that weighs heavily in his bones. No amount of blood bags seems capable of dispelling the fog of exhaustion strangling his mind. And still, no matter how ardently he wishes for a few hours of blissful unawareness, Klaus cannot sleep.
All of his attempts have been wretched failures. The moment he dares to shut his eyelids, his head splits in half. He gets transported back to that dungeon. Swallowed by darkness. Swamped with misery. Taken with a paralyzing fear that when he opens his eyes again, it will be to find out that this has all been just another hallucination, an elaborate trick of his fractured mind.
What should have the soft and tender contours of a sweet dream is permeated with suspicion and unease, warped into a nightmare.
He resists the mental exhaustion, grinds his teeth against the way sunlight feels like pinpricks on his skin, fights the urge to resort to old habits and withdraw into the house with a bottle of bourbon to numb himself out. It's awful, but the sheer unpleasantness of it comforts him.
Pain he knows. Pain he can endure. His oldest and most honest ally.
It's only everything else he's having a hard time trusting at the moment. Read the full chapter here -- Started writing, had a breakdown, bon appetit. đ« Thanks v much to my lovely friend @definedareasofuncertainty for not telling me to fuck off when I kept sending her requests to re-read things she'd already read twice! â€ïž And for being so supportive and making me believe I didn't have to start over from scratch for the third time. đ„Č Also to the very lovely folks who have reached out to me through tumblr or AO3 to talk about this fic during these FIVE MONTHS HIATUS (what the actual fuck, when did five months happen?). You are lovely and amazing and ily! As always, your comments/messages/kudos/reblogs mean the world to me! â€ïž My brain is rotten but I did my best, hope you enjoy it!
#klaroline#klaroline fanfiction#klaroline fic#kcfanfiction#kcfic#klaus x caroline#the originals rewriting#The Wolf Series#yokan writes#or attempts to write anyway#this is the product of very mental times#i don't even know what i'm doing with my life anymore tbh
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