#....wellllll that's not technically true

[im-no-jedi]

the amount of times I’ve come across a post or video that reminds me of an OC that I haven’t introduced yet is driving me insane, I need to start writing in MLWTBB again y’all 😫

[justsquibby]

All my gems gone.

Dried up.

Shii, iroha, and Kuroe took me to a back alley and beat me up, then Shii called Shizuka, Livia, Sayaka, & Shigure to all point and laugh at me and then left me on the ground, threw a singular slot for each of them and then they all left to go get sweets and tea with the gems they just got from me….

1 Shii, 1 iroKuroe, 1 copy of each respective memo

1, Shizuka, 1 Livia, 1 Sayaka, 1 Shigure. There were some other single repeat memos I already have MLB

But yeah… pretty bad. I would say kind of tied for IroMado. I mean at least with iromado I got 4 slotted with innocent gems and destiny crystals…

Idk I have two innocents gems I could use. I thought about using them on scene zero Madoka but now idk. But I sadly wouldn’t get their max EX bonus anyway so I may hold onto them until I get a third innocent gem.

And Shii is super cool and super good I’m sad they are stuck at one slot what the hell 😭😭😭

My pics are usually higher res. But I recorded my reaction, so these are screenshots from a video that was taken on OBS. I uh- don’t want to post the video cause I was mean to Sayaka when she showed up and i regret it lol😭😂😂 I was pretty sad and silent the whole video after Livia appeared. I accepted my fate that my gacha luck dried up with Historia yachiyo coming from a single 10 pull. Couldn’t let that slide could ya f4….

[windupnamazu]

twelve forbid girls do anything!

ffxivwrite2023 #04: off the hook no longer in difficulty or trouble.

Pancake & Linnet with Lunya & Sirius. Post-Stormblood. 1423wc. ⮞ Linnet might be a gremlin, but it's only because Pancake enables her. OR: the one where two girls of the ages of 10 and 11 curse a fully grown man only one of them has ever met once.

"I know it's in here somewhere," cried Linnet, her voice drifting over the stacks and stacks and stacks of weird knick-knacks and mysterious boxes and chests and statues creating a maze in the room across the hall from Lunya's. Pancake nervously stepped around a floor-to-ceiling tower of belts and a gigantic stone statue of what its label called a komainu, and she found her best friend folded over the side of an ornate coffer twice their collective size, stubby tail straight in the air and legs kicking for more leverage as she dug through its contents.

Technically speaking, there were only two people in the mansion allowed in this room unsupervised, and two girls between the ages of 10 and 11 summers absolutely weren't them—in fact, Lunya warned them about the very dangerous things in this room every time Linnet gave the door so much as a yearning look. Sirius hopefully wouldn't notice the missing key to Lunya's personal vault from his keyring, but if they got tangled up in something bad they'd probably die, or worse, get discovered and grounded.

"Lin, hurry up," Pancake shout-whispered urgently, looking around the room. Honestly, the things they did for true love—her brother was going to owe her a million snacks if they pulled this off.

"I'm trying!" Linnet called back, voice muffled by the chest, until she shot up with a loud "OOH!" and raised an ominous looking tome emblazoned with a creepy face and the words 1000 Terryble and Fantastyc Curses To Place Upun Thy Enemye (Beginner's Edition) in the air right as a familiar voice went ahem behind them.

"What are you girls doing?"

Pancake nearly jumped out of her skin. "Mo—Lunya!"

"Miss Lunya!" Linnet said cheerily as she swiftly shoved the grimoire in her satchel before she wiggled around to face their guardian with a disarming kilowatt smile she learned from the woman herself. "Fancy seeing you here today!"

"Yes, little bird," Lunya said, thankfully quite amused as she stood down the same path they came, arms akimbo. "It certainly is surprising seeing you both in my vault. Now, care to tell me what you're doing here alone?"

"Wellllll," sang Linnet as she pushed herself out of the box and back onto the floor with an oof, rubbing at her stomach, "I told Pancake that last time I was in here with you I saw this neat mammet, and Mister Sirius said you weren't gonna be home until tomorrow and I got a little impatient…" That was mostly true—she actually did tell Pancake about the last time she went into the vault with Lunya, but it wasn't the mammet she was interested in, not when Pancake brought up her brother's latest complaint about a certain someone.

Somehow, Lunya seemed satisfied enough with that answer even though Pancake was certain she saw Linnet pocket the grimoire. "I'm afraid I haven't completely vetted the loot from that chest yet, so it'll be a few more days before you can play with it, alright?"

"Mhm!"

"You better give the key back to Sirius," Lunya warned them. "And no more running in here without one of us, okay?"

"Yes, Lunya."

"Yes, Miss Lunya!"

Giggling, Linnet crashed into Pancake's side, linking arms with her before pulling her through the maze and out the room.

"Kids these days," they heard Lunya say fondly before the door closed behind them, and Pancake tried not to feel an immediate crushing guilt that they'd not only stolen a rare grimoire from their pseudo-mother's collection but they'd done it for the sole purpose of placing a real actual curse on someone. Said someone was her big brother's nemesis and the only thing standing between her getting Babycorn as a sister, but—

Down the hall, a man in a finely-pressed butler's suit stepped out from around the corner, crimson eyes ablaze. The girls yelped in unison.

"Linnet Qhael and Pancake Veil," Sirius barked, arms crossed and every bit the image of the Loyal Hound of the Moontide Manor. "Just yesterday I went to the Mouries' house to reassure Oleo's mother that the children of this house were well-behaved and a good influence on her son so she didn't have to worry about him coming over so often and Butter could continue to enjoy his best friend's presence, so what do you two think you're doing stealing from my keyring and sneaking into an off-limits room on your own?"

"Miss Lunya said it was fine!" Linnet said, stepping forward and shielding Pancake behind her. She very deliberately left out the fact that Lunya did not really say that or why they did any of that to begin with.

Sirius eyed her doubtfully, but Linnet persevered.

"You can ask her!" she insisted, even though everyone in the mansion knew Sirius hated bothering Lunya with things he considered trivial like follow-up questions. It was clear Sirius himself knew what she was trying to do, but he just grumbled.

"Key," he said gruffly, and Linnet bounced forward to put it in his hand. He sighed, dropping a handful of strawberry candies onto her own in trade. "Go out and play."

"Yessir!" Linnet cheered, doubling back so she could grab Pancake and pull her past him. "See you later, Mister Sirius!"

There was a shed out in the front yard designated as storage for the kids' toys, which was where Linnet and Pancake opened the grimoire to view its full contents in peace.

"Should we give him fleas?" Linnet asked, jotting down her favourite ideas on a piece of scrap parchment in crayon, which in reality weren't actual notes and more like silly example doodles. "Or, or, we could make him have a permanent wedgie or make all his juice taste salty for 10 years! Or every time he smiles he has a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth or—"

Pancake turned the page. "Um, this one says we can control him if we make this doll!"

"I love dolls!" Linnet gasped, leaning into her side to read the entry. "Huh, we need a piece of his hair. I bet Babycorn has some somewhere—she's weird like that."

No she's not! Pancake wanted to shout in protest, but Linnet was probably right. "I'll go ask Cherry if he knows where she'd keep one."

"Got it! I'll get my sewing kit!"

A bell and a half later and Pancake had a lock of Hildibrand's hair in a literal heart-shaped locket and Linnet had a hand full of bandages and a roughly sewn doll based on Pancake's description of him. The girls hunched over the grimoire together as they checked over the steps of their cursed object.

"It says we gotta give it his full name."

"Um…" Pancake's brother complained about him all the time, and she sorta remembered the guy saying his name a lot when they first met him, but she was like six then and could barely remember the whole thing now. "It was really long…"

"That would be Hildibrand Helidor Maximilian Manderville," Lunya said behind them, "but what did I say about taking things that aren't yours?"

"Uh," said Pancake, turning to smile weakly at her.

"Hildibrand Helidor Maximilian Manderville!" Linnet shouted to the doll right before she jammed a needle in its heart. Pancake faintly thought that maybe she should have stopped her. "You said that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!"

Lunya did a really good impression of a fish before she pursed her lips, shaking her head with a swish of her pretty white hair. "Right. Note to self, leave Elysiane in charge of the ethics and pick up a copy of Moral Lessons for the Tweenage Soul. Don't do this next time or you're grounded."

"Yes, ma'am…"

It was only a week or two later when Babycorn burst into the mansion foyer screaming and crying about her beloved Hildibrand getting absorbed into a black hole—whatever that was. Butter visibly had to stop himself from leaping into the air and clicking his heels with a loud YIPPIE! of delight. Behind him, Pancake and Linnet could only look at each other in genuine surprise, thinking about how just the night before they'd put their voodoo doll through Himbo Hooters's new magitek food processor.

Down on the main floor, where a crowd was growing around the despondent Babycorn, Lunya looked up at the girls peering through the second floor balustrade with a strange look on her face, wondering just what kind of grimoire she plucked off that random bandit all those moons ago.

[tigresslanzhu]

Let Us Discuss Meena In Sing 1!

As we all know, a common theme in the media is for someone to tell a massive lie and do whatever they can to make that lie true. It can be a tiring trope and if executed incorrectly, it can ruin your movie. This is where Sing (2016) comes in.

Obviously, Buster already has this plot line. Anyone who has ever seen this film knows that. The reason, in this case, is because of a typo accidentally made by his assistant’s oscillating fan (and a glass eye). All Buster wanted to offer as a prize was $1000 because that was all he had ($935, technically, but everything else he put in his chest could be sold to make up the difference), but it isn’t until he chose his six acts (which we all know is NOT how a singing competition works) that he found out that two extra zeros were added, promising a larger sum than it was originally.

So what does this have to do with Meena? Simple! After her stage fright took over during her audition, her grandfather told her to go back the next day and demand a second chance. I think we all know that Meena is too polite to “demand” but she does try to talk to Buster, who, naturally doesn’t pay her any attention until he asks her to pull a scenic cable and turn the house lights on. This is when he proposes being his stagehand for the singing competition.

Okay, I’m sure you want me to get to the point. She tries to explain her situation, but her mother and supportive neighbors don’t let her finish and assume that she’s part of the actual show, rather than assisting it. What I’m saying here is that Garth Jennings, the director of the film, Chris Meledanri the producer and the writers did a good job of not giving Meena a separate Liar’s Plotline, when it’s mostly Buster Moon we should focus on and empathize with. If we’re gonna focus on Meena, the focus should be on her overcoming her fears of performing.

If this was an alternate universe, Meena would definitely find some way to ruin everyone’s chances of performing or maybe even blackmail Buster into getting a slot. But we all know that this isn’t our darling Meena-Chan! And remember that the one incident involving Mike’s rehearsal being interrupted and Pete getting hurt had nothing to do with her (As Mike chose to assume), and again, because Miss Crawly’s glass eye is a Chevek’s Gun, or whatever you call these plot relevant running gags.

Throughout the film, our angel shows that not only is she capable of accepting that she is a stagehand, but she takes it rather seriously.

She lets the showman advise her, she has no problem following directions throughout and she even took time to know where all the fire extinguishers are located in case of emergencies (At least, I HOPE Buster had more than one extinguisher in his theater!)

Let’s also not forget that anyone else would have held a grudge against these performers that were selected, but not Meena! She’s very supportive of her fellow cast members.

“But, Artica, what about when Ash was about to go on stage and Meena was all ‘Good luck, Ash’? Wasn’t she jinxing her then? It’s actually bad luck to say good luck in a theater!” You may ask.

Wellllll…

I don’t think so. And I’ve got three theories as to why this is…

A) Meena probably didn’t know, or forgot.

B) Perhaps she wasn’t thinking, and was more focused on sincerity.

C) Since it was a rehearsal, maybe she didn’t think it mattered.

Bonus:

I’m sure you movie buffs know this already, but in Zootopia, Judy almost received this plot line of having to hide that she was a meter maid. Luckily, Disney made things different by the final film and it was less about covering up Judy’s true identity, but about proving that she is way more than people see her as. The entire film was a way to highlight the harmful effects of stereotypes, after all.

[somerandomcockroach]

PLEASE WHEEEEEEEEZEEEEEEE

*DYING BIRD SOUNDS*

YES. YES IT'S SWERVE GODDAM I CAN DIE PEACEFULLY

I am dead. I am so dead.

I LITERALLY CAN'T EXPLAIN THE LEVELS OF JOY THIS WHOLE THING IS GIVING ME RIGHT NOW

YES. YES THIS NERD IS VERY GOOD AT IT PRAISE HIM Had a whole new full life on the other planet - "I got carried away"

PLEASE HE RIGHT AWAY KNEW WHAT TO ASK PFFFHT. Get all transformers to pass exams. I bet 60/40 not pass

WHEEEEEEEEEZEEEE OH MY GOD I LITERALLY. THEY. IT'S. THEY WORTH EACH OTHER WHEEEEZEEE

PLEASE SWERVE. TRUE HUMAN IS HORRIFIED AT THE IDEA OF THEIR BROWSER HISTORY, YOU PASSED THE TEST PFFHTTT .... OF COURSE AHHASGAH UM. HE IS ALIVE! I'M HAPPY HE IS AT LEAST ALIVE! *Nods* Onslaught is a genius indeed AH here comes plot

I continues reaching new levels of dead

Please it's.... how the hell... why... he almost burned to death, he needs a rest or at least to properly look after his skin... not this....

*looks in the distance* Pilots need a fricking tiktok or whatever to show their life to become a new group face

*inhale-exhale* THIS GUY OVER HERE ISN'T A SPOILER BRAT AT ALL. AT ALL. I DON'T KNOW FROM WHICH SIDE SPOILED BRAT WOULD DO IT ALL.

*Looks at Jazz* You need to talk Next phrase is him talking to Prowl and Jazz *Sitting back*

*incoherent sounds*

*EVEN WORSE INCOHERENT SOUNDS*

*goes out of the room*IT'S TOO GORGEOUS TO NOT POINT IT OUT BUT ALSO SO HORRIBLE Blurr... my sweet... ahh I love people under painkillers but I have a feeling the same would happen anyway pfffht. Imagine all of problems and now the thoughts of someone dying because of you ahah... great.... P[OFPGOFPIGOIPSEIES JAZZ YOU ARE TOO FRICKING GOOD AT READING PEOPLE, I'm sure he didn't change the mind about Swerve's reason of absence XDDD

DANG IT. DANG. DANGG. FEHJGEDWJHGBJMCW I'M 'BOUT TO PULL YOUR "GHOST" ASS IN FRONT OF HIS FACE FOREVER BEFORE HE ACCIDENTALLY DIES OR SOMETHING. FOR THE GOD'S SAKE *ROLLS ON THE FLOOR FLORRS WALLS LIKE A ROTATED 980 DEGREE SPIDER* HE SAVES HIM, HE GOT OUT TO SAVE HIM HERE. TAKE IT. TALK HIM DOWN. SHOW WHO IS THE TALKY BOSS HERE WITH THE LIBRARY OF A NERD

HMEWDBNBMCHMNBCHMHMHDSHSSHS *SLAMS ON THE KEYBOARD WITH THE HEAD* NO DON'T SHUT UP, BLABBERS, NEVER SHUT UP HELPA DHJGA Don't you love it when two characters blend it and play a bullshit game of no context to get attention out? You better love it because personally I am dying for one more reason It's so IRONIC even to use NORMAN name *BREAKS THE TABLE* HE IS REAL!!!! YEAH!!! MY NERD KNOW MORE ABOUT HUMANS THAN HUMANS DO. PHARMA, GET OUT OF HERE, BLURR HAS A PERSONAL DOCTOR ....Wellllll I mean TECHNICALLY you already failed at keeping all possible secrets, Swerve.....

I'M SORRY I JUST KEFERON, KISSING YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE KISSABLE PLACE I NEVER THOUGHT I CAN GO THAT CRAZY OVER THIS SPECIFIC PART GOING ON AND HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO GOOD AT ALL THIS I AM IN SHAMBLES AND SHAKING I LOVE IT TO DEATH AND WANNA PRINT IT

Chapter 2 of Blurr storyline >:D

“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”

“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head is all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”

Part one

Holy shit I actually managed to finish it…..Oh. My god.

Under the cut⤵️

Is it stupid to miss someone who doesn't even exist?

Probably yes, but hey, Swerve already has several degrees, might as well get another one. A degree in Stupidity or something. Who cares?

For the first few days after waking up from his coma, he feels like he's going crazy. Everybody has realistic dreams, right? The ones where you can scrutinize every angle, memorize every face and smell and sound. The ones that make you lie still for a while after waking up, grasping at every thing you can. Trying to memorize everyone you meet, imprint them in your head.

Because apart from your mind, they don't exist anywhere else. So that's your only way to keep them.

It never works. Obviously. Details slip away. Impressions fade. Just a couple days, and you won't be able to recall anything but the main events from memory.

Wait, hell, not days. Cycles.

His life is a weird, pathetic, fantastical circus. Earth term. Heh. There are no circuses on Cybertron, haha!

But Swerve remembers. And the word circus, and the smell of asphalt, and rains that were made of water not acid. Remembers the English language. Can speak it fluently, even if you wake him up in the middle of the night.

Remembers his work schedule and remembers which company makes the best details. And Tailgate with his bright blue uniform and Wheeljack with his endless experiments and Swindle with his expensive coat and of course...yeah, no, don't think of Blurr, don't think of Blurr, don't. Don't.

He'd heard about it. Read about it, too. Mechs waking up from comas and doing wild things. Some forgot how to speak at all, some gained a new skill, some lived a whole life while they slept.

Articles tell Swerve, don't worry, what you've experienced isn't unique. The doctor tells Swerve that the same thing has happened to others before you, it will be okay, it will pass.

Swerve isn't sure he wants it to pass.

He's been in a coma for who knows how long. The medic said it was caused by an internal trauma that decided to suddenly get worse. One minute he's recharging , the next he's gone. Internal injuries are insidious.

So it turns out. One day he just disappeared from the world because he was busy slowly dying in his room and no one noticed until a thief tried to sneak in. The only one who came to him was a Mech who wanted to steal his stuff. Huh.

That feels revolting. Swerve liked to think he had enough friends. Or at least enough good connections. Enough those who should have noticed his absence, right?

Apparently not. His shifts at work were reassigned, his contacts never texted him first, his...

His small persona wasn't important enough for anyone to notice his disappearance.

Would his human coworkers notice? Would Tailgate have noticed? Or Jazz? Swindle?

Jazz would have noticed, he was always surprisingly attentive when it came to his friends. And he was friends with just about everybody.

Swindle would probably get upset about the money he'd lost.

It's amazing how much his brain-- wait, no, his processor. How much his processor could create to entertain him. It's a more elaborate world than the most complex series Swerve has ever known. And that scrap had forty-six seasons and fifteen encyclopedias!

People, Earth, a bunch of new languages and rules and all for the sake of the end being like, OOPS! ...it was all a dream. Hilarious. Worst plot twist ever. Swerve hates it when stories go in this direction even more than when they kill off their characters.

In his humble opinion, death is better than the revelation that none of the experiences made sense or had any value. In terms of writing scripts obviously. Haha.

He's busy roaming haphazardly through his own memory. He's looking, comparing, trying to find inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. All the stuff that usually gives away the fact that what happened was a dream.

Most of his memories are occupied by--No. Frag.

Don't think about Blurr, don't think about Blurr, don't think..

He's thinking about Blurr. A lot.

Blurr occupies a surprisingly important role in his comatose dreams.

In the time he spent just looking at him, you could hand-build an entire Mech. Maybe even three. Swerve remembers picking up every bit of merch he could reach with his paycheck. Watching hundreds of videos and buying every new themed drink even if it was a flavor he didn't like.

Then spent a surprising amount of time resenting Blurr for not living up to his fantasies.

Blurr's behavior hadn't helped either, of course, but now, looking back at the past himself Swerve thinks that.. Oh wow. You weren't just annoyed at him. You blamed him for ruining your beautiful fantasy. You were having so much fun entertaining yourself with thoughts of this marvelous image, and he came along and corrupted it. Poisoned the well you drank joy from.

But that's not quite true, Swerve thinks.

Blurr was more complicated than that. But exactly how, he'll never know. All he has are his memories, and those memories are cut short at the most interesting point.

Swerve knows this plot twist. The asshole character that no one loves at the last second turns out to not be what everyone thought, but it's too late.

Oh no, he's not an evil jerk, he's actually traumatized. Oh no, he wasn't bad, he was actually secretly helping everyone. You thought he was awful? Well now you're going to feel awful reading fanfics.

Serevus Spayne didn't actually betray the main character's dad, no no, he was in love with him! Bam. Drama.

Swerve isn't a big fan of this stuff. He likes his characters developed properly. But he can't deny the appeal of a character leaving behind a bunch of questions you thought you knew the answer to.

Uggh.

The doctor was wrong. These thoughts don't go away. These memories don't dull.

Swerve just boils in them, constantly getting stuck in his own head. Sometimes he puts English words into his speech and everyone looks at him strangely. Sometimes he reflexively says some inside joke and no one gets it and he's left standing there with an awkward smile. Because. Guys, you don't understand, if my coworkers were here they'd think it's hilarious. I promise, in my fantasy world, it's funny.

When he gets a job on one of the Autobot ships, he accepts it thinking it might be a good distraction from his thoughts.

When he happens to see Prowl with a tiny human on his shoulder in the corridor of that ship, he thinks he's lost his mind.

The whole thing. The whole load-bearing structure on which his picture of the world has been held suddenly gives a lurch. Living your life in a super realistic dream is wild, but meeting a character from your dream in real life??

Freaking cursed.

Jazz looks puzzled by his reaction, but all Swerve can think about are two things.

One, if Jazz is here, does that mean everything else was real, too???

Two - holy shit, Jazz is tiny.

It never occurred to him. But he didn't really know what size humans were. Well, sure, he could measure it in numbers. But he was among humans himself. And about the same size. He was generally even shorter than most of them.

If Jazz is so small, he can't imagine how tiny Tailgate would be. Or--

He can feel his spark freeze. In fact, he can almost hear the sound of a string breaking in his processor. Does that mean Blurr is real too? Real and just as tiny and currently dead? Because Swerve was there but was too convinced it was all just a dream to help?

He's going to get sick.

He needs to talk to Jazz right now.

____________

Swerve taps his fingers nervously on the countertop. Come on. You're good at talking. Talking is your greatest skill. All you have to do is tell someone else about your comatose hallucinations and hope they don't think you're crazy.

They're sitting at a table at the bar. More specifically Swerve and Prowl are sitting at the table, and Jazz is sitting right on the table. (God he's so small).

“So uh. I got injured a while back and...uh...well, it got worse, turned out important systems were affected and I kind of. I was in a coma. For a really long time.”

Jazz frowns

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

He speaks in a mildly wonky Common, Swerve notes to himself. He waves his servo a little too cheerfully in response.

“'Ay it's no big deal really. I saw a whole other world while I was asleep and like. See, I thought it was just my fantasies, but it seemed very real and...”

Swerve mentally crosses his fingers.

“And it was about this planet called Earth and about people who were building their own inanimate huge robots to fight huge aliens and their boss wanted to launch Mechs into space, so he picked the best of the pilots named Jazz and sent him on this test mission and...”

Jazz looks at him with huge eyes before switching to English in surprise.

“Mech, what the hell?”

“...And we lost him...” finishes Swerve with a sad smile.

Before thinking for a bit, and adding.

“I'm going to show you a trick I can do.”

And then projects his holoform onto the table in front of him.

This. It's weird. Not in a way that would tilt it in the direction of unnatural. More like walking around in his comfy indoor pajamas right in the middle of the street. Being human is familiar to him, but being human amongst huge Cybertronians? Strange. And a little creepy.

Prowl looks confused.

Jazz looks absolutely frantic.

“SWERVE????”

Swerve doesn't even manage to respond, only to smile in relief before Jazz rakes him into his arms. In his holoform, Jazz feels right again. He's taller than Swerve and oh boy, he's alive and unharmed. To think everyone thought he was dead, staying up nights trying to find what was left of him, and he was on the other side of the universe the whole time?

Swerve chuckles into Jazz's shoulder. Then picks him up and spins him around a couple times just because he needs something to get his energy out. Man, it's nice to hug people. Warm and soft, eight out of ten.

Jazz pulls away but still stays standing very close. Swerve can literally see the happy stars in his eyes.

“Dude, I'm not complaining but what...how???? You just kinda..."

Swerve laughs and twitches his eyebrows playfully.

“I still speak English, you don't have to torture yourself with Common.”

“Oh thank fuck.” Jazz throws his hands up dramatically “you're my favorite person right now.”

There is a polite click of the vocalizer resetting above their heads.

“I” Prowl says “very glad you two are happy but I'd like some explanation”

Swerve presses his head into his shoulders guiltily. Prowl has the unique ability to always sound like you've done something wrong in front of him.

Although Jazz doesn't seem to feel the same way?

“Short version - I sleepwalked my holoform to another planet.”

He pauses dramatically.

“The long version is...”

Jazz raises his hand

“What's a holoform?”

Swerve sighs.

“It's a holographic avatar that I can project using a holomatter generator. Sort of like a remote controlled game character.”

Jazz whistles impressed. And then immediately turns back to Prowl

“Have you been able to do that all this time too?“

Prowl hums

“I can create an avatar, but it takes a lot of practice to make it at least believable. And to fully perceive the world through it takes even more. It's a whole new technology. What Swerve does is essentially an art form. Sophisticated and impressively detailed may I add.”

Swerve shrugs shyly. He's still using the holoform to stand on the table next to Jazz. Looking up to speak to Prowl isn't exactly comfortable, but Jazz definitely looks like he's been missing the human presence. Swerve isn't human, but he might as well be.

“Thank you. Yes! Uh. Anyway, it seems while I was in a coma my processor projected my avatar onto Earth and I...let's just say I lived there for a while.”

Jazz laughs

“Dude. So you're telling me you were basically sleepwalking the whole time?”

“ I was.”

Prowl frowns.

“But the range limit of the holomatter generator is only four hundred miles...”

“.... I had a lot of practice...”

Jazz claps his hands.

“You learned a whole other language! Got an ID!. You had a job!!!”

“I got carried away,” Swerve admits.

Jazz scratches the back of his head, still looking very amused

“How many degrees did you get? Haha wait no, I have a better question, did you pass your driver's license?”

“Two. And I failed my driver's exam.”

“Dude you are literally a car without a driver's license!” collapses Jazz on the table with laughter.

Swerve blows the hair out of his face

“Says you who retook the physical several times. You couldn't pass the "being human" exam.”

Jazz just wheezes incoherently in response. Prowl looks alarmed.

“Don't worry, that's him getting excited. So...where have I been...”

Swerve nervously shoves his hands into his pockets

“...Do either of you two know where Earth is?”

Prowl twitches his door wings

“No. Since Jazz was teleported we don't have much clues.”

Swerve grimaces. Scrap. Of course nothing's going to be that easy. He's also been, like,....teleported.

He stands there for a couple minutes and just feels fifteen different emotions rise up in his head at once. A crooked, unsteady smile creeps across his face.

He's thinking.

Oh hell, yeah! I knew it wasn't a dream!

Then he remembers the mess he left behind.

Oh, no, it wasn't a dream.

Jazz puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Swer... Swerve? Dude, are you okay?”

“Ah frag..” Swerve says weakly ”it wasn't a dream.”

Jazz looks...puzzled.

“Is that bad?”

Swerve remembers his friends. Remembers the Mecha program. Remembers fire and smoke and screams and rumbling and crackling flames. Ashes flying through the air and the smell of burnt wires. He remembers blood and debris and...

“It's...complicated.”

This wasn't just a stupid plot twist he'd dreamed up because he'd watched too many shows. This wasn't a hallucination or a disembodied fantasy that just happened to linger in his head. This was real. His friends exist out there somewhere. His work and his collections and his little apartment...

And Blurr. Was real. Or still is? Swerve doesn't know. Blurr wasn't a product of his imagination. He was real and what he did was real and Swerve left him there alone, bleeding and trapped in rubble and tiny and...

Hahahahah oh fUCK.

He doesn't like this plot. It's too much. Too much to handle, too complicated, too ambiguous.

It's also probably too late.

But he can't leave it like this, right? Blurr went into the damn burning building just because of the possibility that there might be someone alive in there.

And Swerve doesn't even have to go through the flames. He has to look. He has to try at least.

Jazz glares at him with a worried look on his face

“ That expression you have...”

Swerve puts the smile back on his face.

“I need to get to Earth.”

___________________

Swerve is not an idiot.

Or maybe more accurately an idiot, but with several degrees.

He's well aware that finding Earth in space with only a description of it is impossible. Which leaves him with two options.

Ask the Quintessons. Or look for it himself.

The first sounds like death. The second like coma. Swerve has exquisite enough taste to know which is better.

He just needs to do some preliminary reserch.....

Jazz, now back inside his Mech looks doubtful.

“You're not going to die suddenly and for no reason, are you?”

Swerve laughs.

“Pfffff what, no of course not, would I kill myself hah. No no, look I'll just put myself in stasis for a bit. Send myself to Earth. And try to figure out where it is from there. Get the coordinates. If I'm lucky, I can see what Space Bridge the local Quintessons use. All you'll have to do is wake me up after a while.”

“It's not harmful?”

Swerve makes an uncertain gesture with his hand...servo.

“If I have enough fuel. And an additional connection to an external generator.”

Jazz tilts his head

“ Why are you so eager to get to Earth? Don't get me wrong, I miss it too and want to go back, but.”

Swerve bites his knuckles.

“ I have some unfinished business?”

“Pshhhh you sound like a ghost.”

Swerve only laughs in response.

_______________

Concentration is tricky.

Swerve tries to think about Earth. And not to think about the fact that he doesn't know where it is. If he's already been there once, he might as well go there again yes? In theory? Perhaps?

Except for the possibility that his sleepwalking just takes him to random planets. That would be very inconvenient. It would be a whole new level of lost

Shit. No. Earth. Think Earth.

What's he even gonna do when he gets there? How far away is it? Swerve is very talented with his holomatter generator, but if it's really far away... maybe he should reset some settings.

He mentally starts going through his options. Does he need tangibility? Probably not. Come to think of it, it would only make him more vulnerable and take a lot of energy. Yeah, the tangibility has to go. What else? Touch, too. Sight and hearing should stay, that's not even a question, but colors and textures are not really necessary.

The amount of detail and picture quality can be reduced as well. His holoform will become colorless and grainy and will probably ripple with static, but he'll survive it.

After he finishes making changes to his holoform he thinks about his old stuff left in his house. Then about the posters. Then reminds himself that he needs to focus on the goal or he'll never find Blurr and...oh FUCK his phone! Where was his phone when he disappeared? Was it found?? There were so many personal things on that phone, he's hoping the phone was burned under the rubble. Either that or the arriving investigators will find his browser history and he'll go into another coma from pure embarrassment.

He blinks dazedly when he realizes he has loads of rocks in front of his eyes. Oh..Did he screw up? Did he end up on the wrong planet? Is it a cave or--

Then he notices the odd shape of the “rocks” and. Oh, no. It's not a cave. It's charred concrete debris.

This is the place where he was last.

He hastily looks around. Anxiety creeps up the back of his neck, makes him feel like something slippery and cold is crawling over his skin. There is nothing but ruins all around.

Blurr is not here. The place where his Mech was lying is empty.

Which means he was at least found and dragged out. Dead or alive.

Swerve's bites his knuckles. Okay.

All right.

He's got things to do.

_______________

He's trying to stay out of sight. Which isn't hard, considering he's just a hologram. At first, he just sneaks around in the quiet areas. Then proceeds to do a facepalm and start teleporting. Think, Swerve. Did you read all those comic books for nothing? Superheroes who couldn't really use their superpowers creatively always annoyed him. And he does, in fact, have a superpower. Gotta get creative, right?

He stops and looks at himself again. His holoform is going static and is a dull white color. He thinks for a bit, and then shrinks himself. Thinks some more, and makes himself almost transparent. There's no way he could pass as a normal human right now, so he'd better just do his best to avoid being seen by anyone.

He looks around thoughtfully. Hmm. Even if he's going to be absolutely tiny, he needs to make sure no one sees him, otherwise the whole base will think the Quintessons are now spying on them through holograms or something.

Breaking the rules feels...it's exciting.

All his ..human life here he hadn't thought about it, but if he threw away the rules he was used to about what people could or couldn't do...

He looks up in a sudden rush of sly genius. All people look under their feet when they walk, but how many look up? And how many of them notice the barely visible tiny holoform hiding just behind the blinding lamps?

The answer is probably none.

Swerve projects himself onto the ceiling and mentally pats himself on the shoulder for his impressive intellectual accomplishments. A creativity degree should definitely be a thing.

A degree in spying on the Quintessons' ships wouldn't hurt him either.

Fortunately sneaking onto their ship turns out not to be that difficult. Swerve makes himself absurdly tiny and hides in the darkest corners that no one would ever think to look into. Why hasn't anyone thought of using holoforms for spying before? Could he be the first to think of it? He doesn't know, but he mentally decides to patent the idea.

Finding the Space Bridge is surprisingly easy. The local Quintesson fleet is clearly used to being the dominant force in space. And that's generally logical. Even if humanity collects a mountain of money from somewhere to throw a dozen Mechs into space - there will be thousands of monsters waiting for them. In such a situation, you don't have to hide, the guards are enough.

Well done, well done, don't hide, Swerve thinks, copying the coordinates and address of the space bridge to himself. You have absolutely nothing to fear here, he thinks, so stay where you are and don't move. Please and thank you.

Once the coordinates are obtained, he... has some freedom to explore. And he uses it for probably the most boring-sounding thing in the world. He returns to his usual workplace.

It’s simple. As damning as the Mecha program was, Swerve loved his job in it. He loved his position in the assembly shop. And he missed his friends.

He quickly teleports through several rooms, continuing to hide close to the lamps. Tailgate is here. Alive and unharmed. Wheeljack is too, though his face has some scars added to it. It's great to see them again, even if he can't talk to them right now. No one will probably react well to a grainy unexplainable hologram. He's just glad to know they're okay and honestly, the last thing he needs is paranoid Onslaught installing extra signal jammers.

It takes time to find Blurr. Partly because Swerve is terrified of what he might find if he started looking. So he goes to check the death lists first, and only after flipping through and re-reading them three times does he finally exhale in relief.

Blurr's name isn't there.

So his smug, shiny ass must be around here somewhere.

He checks the hangar. Flips through the Mech launch logs and feels an uncomfortable knot begin to form in his chest. Blurr's Mech has never been repaired or launched even once since the incident. Its plating has been replaced with new, well polished, and put in a prominent place where anyone who wants to can take a picture of it. But all the internal systems are destroyed. This machine hasn't been used for anything other than being a beautiful exhibit.

That's...something's wrong.

He checks offices and schedules as well as eavesdropping on a few conversations and ends up secretly following Swindle, who is arguing loudly with someone on the phone. He says something about deals and how he doesn't need anyone meddling in his business. Then he talks about how he's got everything under control and the person on the phone is “a dumbass who's making drama out of nothing” and that “he doesn't need anyone's handouts". Then he sighs and says, “you know how celebs are. Dumb and dramatic. You can't take their words literally.”

Then drops the call and for a couple seconds looks like he's just had a large bill taken right out of his hand. Curses again, but in a quieter voice. Leafs through his contacts and stops at the one signed 'free ice'.

“Blurr? Where are you? Wha...ah, no wait. No, the advertising agency called. No, liste...Can you shut up for one second?Where are you?

Uh-huh....... Uh-huh.Okay.

Give me half an hour...okay, yeah.”

This is it, Swerve thinks.

He shrinks himself further and teleports under the collar of Swindle's coat.

He wants to take a look. Just. Just a peek. Make sure everything's all right. Then he can go about his original mission in peace. He watches Swindle get in his car and drive off somewhere. Swerve doesn't recognize this part of town. The houses here are much nicer than where he lived. The streets are cleaner.

He tucks himself further under the coat collar. He's not going to be a stalker or anything, but he's worried and he doesn't have time to wait for Blurr himself to show up for work. Just one little look and that's it.

Swindle's car stops outside a beautiful, shiny hospital. Swerve nervously tries to bite his knuckles, but remembers he's disabled touch in his holoform. Shit? Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shi

Blurr looks like a mangled corpse.

Okay, not really. His left side that faces the door to the hospital room looks like a mangled corpse and that's the first thing that catches Swerve's eye when he's inside.

Blurr is pale and thin and his hands are covered in bandages. The left side of his face has been turned into an absolute ugly nightmare. A piece of his ear is missing. In the place of the left eye is a creepy empty hole.

Suddenly Swerve realizes why Blurr didn't show up for work. You can't even show him to his coworkers like that, not just to the public.

Blurr turns his head and the spell breaks. His lips stretch into a cocky smile.

“'Got bored without me Swindle?”

Swindle doesn't show the slightest emotion at the gruesome sight. He casually pulls a chair over to the hospital bed and sits down.

“Shockwave is trying to sneak a new project into the program. And he's slowly swaying investors to his side, using you as an excuse. Tells everyone you're a poor martyr he can save if only he's given the green light from above.”

Blurr wrinkles his nose.

“Not that he's wrong. The doctors say I need to pick a new career because with this...” he jerks his head to the left implying his damaged half, ” neither racing nor piloting is an option for me anymore. I'm out of your project.”

Then he stops talking for a few seconds and raises an eyebrow curiously.

“You wouldn't have come here in person just to say that. Why are you really here?”

Swindle adjusts his glasses

“Have I ever told you why I made the contract with you?”

“Because you like money” Blurr says without hesitation.

Swindle lets out a quiet chuckle.

“Fair point. But money wasn't my only priority.”

He pauses for a second. Gets up. Draws the curtains in the room. Checks to make sure no one is outside the door.

Goes back to his seat.

“You didn't see what the Mecha project was like before. Brutality and absolute disregard for human rights multiplied by a thousand. People were desperate and no one cared to maintain any decency.”

He raises his hand when Blurr rushes to say something.

“No no, listen to me. If you think things are bad now, you're right. But it used to be much. Much, much worse.”

Swindle sighs and adjusts his glasses again

“Vortex was taken as a boy. He wasn't even out of high school when they shoved him into the lab. Me and Onslaught were pulled right out of the college exams. The others were no better, although they were usually a little older. My point is that it was allowed. It's what the superiors could do and no one told them no.”

Blurr tilts his head and gets a little all turned around to see Swindle better with his right eye.

“But you... found a way to change that, didn't you?

Swindle rubs the bridge of his nose

“I have no power over my own superiors. But Onslaught and I have come up with a plan. Look. I'll put it in simple terms for you. Above me is my boss, and above him is another boss, and so on but at the very end of that chain are people from the government. The investors. So we figured out a way to cut through the chain of command and influence them directly. Make them worry about us. It's a kind of social shield. Onslaught is a genius.”

Blurr blinks.

“Why are you telling me all this.”

Swindle takes off his hat and just. Crumples it in his hands. The back of his head shows numerous scars and the glint of tiny metal implants barely visible behind his hair.

“You're that shield right now, Blurr. You can't leave.”

Blurr's eye widens

“Is that why you insisted on ‘befriending’ me with all those bullshitters?”

“I needed to make sure that in their minds we weren't just a military unit. To keep them thinking that we're as human as they are. So I gave Project Mecha a face.” He tugs on the hat again, “Your face.”

Blurr runs his fingers through his hair

“Shockwave can't do whatever he wants cause...because of me his efforts would risk going public and people wouldn't like it and it would ruin the reputation of our investors-and-they'd-cut-off-his-funding.”

Swindle puts his hat back on.

“Exactly.’ That's why he's being so persistent right now. He knows you're vulnerable and he wants to capitalize on the opportunity. Make you part of his new project and tell the world about it. Make publicity his weapon, too.”

The lamp above them flickers faintly. Blurr takes a breath. Long and tired and exhausted and. a bit doomed.

Swindle puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Please. Don't leave. At least not now. And don't let Shockwave get to you. That would open the way for him to get to the rest of the pilots you represent.”

They just. Sit in silence for a while. Blurr quickly taps a finger on his knee. A rapid tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.

Swindle moves his hand away and gets up from his chair.

“There's a press conference coming up. I need you to be there. I've told everyone who needs to know that the problem is exaggerated and you're fine but they need to see you.”

Blurr smiles sourly.

“My lawyer is going to charge you such a handsome sum for that stunt.”

Swindle laughs, but his cardboard advertising smile doesn't reach his eyes.

“We’ll see about that. Seriously though. I need you there.”

Blurr bites his lip.

“I..don’t know...”

Swerve...doesn't know what to think of that.

Blurr shows up for the press conference. Late, but he makes it. Just as Shockwave is presenting his new project in his amazingly well-pitched voice. Blurr swings the door open and waltzes lazily inside, skillfully pretending not to notice the many cameras and eyes instantly directed at him.

Swerve, whose memory is still fresh thinks for a second that no, no this can't be the same person. Past Blurr looked like a wreck. Past Blurr was tense and tired and hunched over. Present Blurr couldn't look more alive. His shoulders are squared proudly, there's that cheerful springiness and grace in his stride. He moves with ease and confidence. Smoothly.

The left side of his face is neatly covered with fresh white bandages. Carefully, without leaving the even the slightest gap through which his injury could be seen. His hands are hidden under a fancy jacket. He smiles wide and bright and squints playfully toward the table.

The very embodiment of nonchalance. The few pilots sitting in the audience roll their eyes.

Swindle breathes out a barely perceptible sigh of relief. Swerve, once again using Swindle's collar as a tactical cover, can't help but let out a silent triumphant laugh. Maybe slightly more nervous than he is supposed to be.

Blurr sends Swindle a sly, sharp smile and even knowing it wasn't meant for him, Swerve feels his cheeks heat up.

Ah, damn it.

Swerve breaks the rules. He tells himself that peeking is fraught with consequences when it comes to military organizations, but he can't stop himself from being curious. And from worry, too.

And now that he knows where to look, he sees things he'd rather not see.

Blurr ... is crumbling.

Swerve doesn't know all the details and consequences, but that incident did leave a mark.

But every time Swindle calls him and says “I need you at some place in two hours” he gets up and assembles himself into a human being. Like a goddamn puzzle. Tapes and covers the burned half of his face. Covers up the bruises and hides the stitches. Fixes his hair and sets off on shaky legs to pretend he's fine.

He smiles so bright and carefree, laughs so sweet and beautiful that no one would ever think that even standing up sometimes hurts.

And continues to act like a jerk of course.

The only difference is that this time Swerve mentally gives him the presumption of innocence before he starts judging.

Blurr does a lot of things that seem rude. He also does a lot of things that are actually rude and figuring them out without resorting to alien superpowers would be nearly impossible.

When the pilots see Blurr sitting right on the table while negotiating with investors, they roll their eyes and make comments about his terrible manners. Or when he stops showing up for even the most basic, rudimentary training.

Or when he develops that stupid habit of leaning his elbows on people standing next to him.

It's the model behavior of a rich, spoiled brat.

It's also an inconspicuous way to stay upright.

Employees say “that dumbass has never heard of personal space.”

Investors say, “I think he likes me.”

Blurr leans on Swindle's shoulder and through a charming smile says “Don't move or I'm gonna fall.”

Swindle also keeping up the smile discreetly holds him back, pretending it's a friendly half hug.

Swerve feels like yelling at both of them, but he's not sure what for exactly. For one thing, Blurr in his condition is very VERY VERY contraindicated to even get out of bed, let alone participate in social activities.

On the other hand, without Blurr, everything is going down the pit.

Without Blurr, all the government sees are dry reports and spreadsheets. Without him, all the high command has is numbers and a sense of impunity. Swerve is sickened by how easily people tend to forget that numbers represent other people.

Most pilots are able to draw a parallel between deteriorating working conditions and Blurr's sudden fondness for staying home instead of working. But they think the rich jerk got scared and ran away. Considering the way Blurr has always behaved at work - Swerve can't even judge them too much for it. They assume Shockwave getting more freedom is the cause of Blurr's absence, not the result.

Blurr's influence only becomes noticeable when it slowly starts to fade away. It's like switching from expensive tea to a cheaper one. The awful flavor only becomes noticeable in contrast.

Blurr doesn't lead the development of new technologies or go out to fight in the field. He doesn't make plans and reports, he doesn't participate in drills, he doesn't cover anyone's back in battle.

But he's the one who puts his hand on the government's shoulders when they're about to sign the next piece of paper. He's the one they have to look in the eye before they have a pen in their hands and a document authorizing Shockwave to stick more needles in people's brains.

It makes a difference. Small one. But still.

It turns a disembodied imaginary “combat units” into a tangible person.

From “do you want to accelerate the combat training of new soldiers” to “are you willing to tell the living, breathing guy standing in front of you that shoving poison under his skin is an idea you approve of.”

More importantly (And Swerve actually admires Swindle for this) Will you be able to explain anything to your families later on, when this same guy is on TV all over the country saying that's what you did to him?

There have been two fronts here all this time, Swerve realizes.

While the pilots were protecting people from monsters wearing teeth and armor, Blurr was protecting the pilots themselves from monsters wearing ties and lab coats.

After another conference, Shockwave stops Blurr in the hallway.

“Good show.”

Blurr laughs. Soundly and proudly.

“Thanks darling~ Sorry I interrupted you. Your speech sounded like something important, but I don't really know much about nerd stuff.”

Swerve, hiding on the ceiling again, snorts.

Shockwave doesn't move. Doesn't give any indication at all if he's offended or upset or whatever.

“It must have been hard getting here with your injuries.”

Blurr shrugs and lazily turns his head around distracted.

“It's just a few bruises here and there. Not the end of the world.”

Shockwave nods slowly. His voice and posture and all, Swerve thinks, looking very uncomfortable.

“Of course it isn't. But hardly good for your career.”

Blurr freezes.

No, Swerve thinks. Shit. No, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't

“Your brilliant achievements have always been a source of admiration to me” continues Shockwave “it would be a pity to lose them.”

Blurr makes an indifferent face and tucks his hands into his pockets.

“Like I said. Not the end of the world.”

Swerve imagines choking Shockwave. Dropping a lamp on his head. Maybe jumping on top of him himself. Shut up, he thinks. Shut up, shut up, stop fucking talking.

Shockwave with a nice, slow gesture pulls out a notebook from somewhere and flips a couple pages.

“Multiple burns, cracked ribs, poisoning from carbon monoxide and combustion products of toxic chemicals...”

Blurr visibly shivers and looks away.

“...loss of vision on one side...” Shockwave continues reading, ”and partial hearing loss. Finally, the impact of neural link malfunctions. And this, if I'm not mistaken, is on top of the already existing memory problems?”

Shockwave takes a step closer. Not fast enough to make it look threatening, but enough to hover.

“It may not be the end of the world, but it is the end of you.”

He writes a set of numbers on the same page, tears it off, and hands it to Blurr.

“You are broken. I can fix you.”

Blurr frowns, but takes the piece of paper.

“That fixing would involve giving you consent to mess around with my head, wouldn't it? It's brave of you to think I'd go for that.”

Shockwave tucks the notepad into his pocket.

“I can assure you, neither I nor anyone else is interested in your brain. I just want to give you back what you're truly valued for.”

Blurr flinches.

“I don't need your help.”

“ If you say so,” Shockwave agrees easily. Nods, slowly and smoothly. Then starts to walk away “But you do need your fame.”

...

“By the way, you might want to wipe the blood off.”

Blurr waits until Shockwave's back disappears around the corner, then quickly pulls a tissue from his pocket and brings it up to his nose.

____________________________

Swerve wakes up looking up at the ceiling of his room. The high, metal ceiling, of a metal room on a metal spaceship.

Holy shit...

Jazz pokes him gently on the forearm

“Are you alive? You've been gone for like quite a while...Did it work?”

“Hey Jazz” frowns Swerve “what do you know about Blurr?”

Jazz laughs

“What are you fanboying over him again? Still??? Dude's smug and arrogant. Good boss though. I was hired to perform at his parties before I became a pilot.”

Swerve sits up and rubs the back of his head.

“Ah...”

“So it worked?”

“Wha...ah! Yes! Yes, it worked! I managed to get the number and codes from the space bridge the Quints used on you. We just need to find another space bridge and we'll have a pretty much direct route to Earth...well. Or rather, to the Quint ship that's located near Earth. You get the idea.”

Jazz rubs his hands together happily.

“I'll take it.”

Swerve jumps to the floor and heads to grab an energon cube. Man, these holoform exercises are burning energy like crazy.

He stares at his metal hands like an idiot for a couple minutes. Just...Contemplates how non-human they are.

He has eight fingers again instead of the human ten. Huh.

Prowl downloads the information he's gotten and immediately runs off to plan a route to the nearest working space bridge and for a while Swerve is just.

Left to himself.

He tries not to think about Blurr. What would he even say to him? Hey, look, I'm sorry I accidentally set you up, see, I'm actually an alien who was sleepwalking and thought you were fictional, surely this won't affect our non-existent strictly professional working relationship? Nah, screw that. If he's going to sound crazy, he needs to at least come up with a good presentation for his insanity.

....

Is it weird to think humans are beautiful if you're not human? If you're kind of human, but only in your soul and only half human?

He looks at Jazz and Prowl.

“You two get along really well.”

Jazz chuckles, sitting on Prowl's shoulder.

“Right now, yes. But we got on each other's nerves quite a bit when we first met.”

Swerve looks up at Jazz's chattering legs from his height and thinks. This is working somehow.

On the other hand, Jazz is the exception rather than the rule. He's friendly with everyone, he's easy to get along with, he's the soul of any company and most importantly, he was a little too much into robots before he discovered they could be alive. If anyone could find common ground with the Cybertronians, it would definitely be Jazz.

_____________________

”Are you a ghost?”

Swerve shrieks in fear and gets covered in static. He hadn't planned on talking. He hadn't planned on being noticed at all. Blurr was supposed to be asleep! And Swerve just wanted to close the curtains and leave, because there's some noisy party going on outside and bright illuminations are very bad for a patient already suffering from neural connection withdrawal.

He freezes in place like that dude from Jurassic Park. Like if he's still enough, he won't be noticed. Oh, or was that from another movie?

“I'm just uh” he awkwardly reaches up and closes the curtains “Lights. Bad for...you...now.”

Blurr chuckles. It sounds suspiciously joyful. His whole posture and facial expression. He looks very relaxed for someone who had a ghost materialize into the room out of thin air.

Swerve traces the line of the IV with his gaze. Oops, that looks like painkillers.

“Yes I am. Uh. A ghost watching the curtains. And now the curtains are fine, so I guess I'd better go?”

Blurr squints amusedly.

“You can walk through walls?”

“Uh, I can teleport into the next room?”

He backs up his words by making himself disappear and reappear in another corner of the room.

“Cool!” says Blurr cheerfully.

Swerve is involuntarily infected by his mood and makes a couple dramatic bows as if he were some kind of magician.

“ Show me more?”

“Hehehe okay eh” Swerve spreads his arms like he's presenting something and then makes himself the size of a soda bottle and teleports to the edge of Blurr's bed “Ta daaaa~”

“Wooooo look at you, you're like an action figure~”

Blurr immediately makes an attempt to touch him, but fails to reach and drops his hand back on the blanket.

Swerve chuckles and steps closer. It's funny to see the usually incredibly agile Blurr struggling with something so simple and ridiculous.

“They really drugged you huh?”

“It's not the drugs” snorts Blurr ”...it's my eye.”

He raises his hand once more and hesitantly pulls it towards Swerve until it bumps into his hair

“... depths Per…percen.. ah, shit. I can't tell how far away things are.”

Swerve just. Lets Blurr fidget at himself, while starting to feel really bad at the same time.

"If you can't tell how far things are, how are you going to drive?

Race???”

He must have a plan right? Something? Let’s-prove-Shockwave-wrong tactic???

Blurr drops his hands back on the blanket

“I won't.”

He freezes when the all too close fireworks rumble outside the window. Then points to his head.

“With this. I can't drive, I can barely walk at all, and I look like horror movie material. Pathetic heeh.”

Swerve sits down quietly cross-legged on the blanket.

“Well...at least you're alive....”

Blurr shakes his head.

“If I had died, it would have been epic. You know? Dharm...dramatic! It would be big news and everyone would be talking about what a hero I was or...or something...”

“...”

“Swindle would be so angry, but he'd figure out a way to make money out of it. He'd make a commercial about how people should be heroes. I'd be remn..remembered for being cool and brave and stuff.”

Fireworks can be heard from the street again. Swerve notices that there is a thin slit between the closed curtains through which a slim, flickering strip of multicolored light streams into the room.

Blurr frowns and leans back against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

“I've turned into a boring wreck. My records will be beaten, my career forgotten , and all the guys from work will remember me as a brat. In a--in a--in a way, it's worse than death. Shockwave's right.”

Swerve isn't sure what exactly would be an acceptable gesture of comfort, so he kind of just. Places his hand on the blanket covering Blurr's lap.

“Hey, don't say that. I think what you're doing is great.”

“Liar” smiles Blurr crookedly ”You hated me. I saw your posters collection.”

Oh shit. The ones he ripped off the walls and destroyed in a fit of fan frustration? He didn't even hide them, just shoved them in the back corner. Aw, man...

Swerve folds his arms awkwardly across his chest.

“I can be mad at you and think you're cool at the same time. I'm a multitasker.”

“You're a very specific kind of ghost.” says Blurr. Then, apparently inspired by the painkillers, decides to drop the conversational equivalent of an atomic bomb on Swerve's head “You died because of me?”

Swerve stiffens.

“I...Wwhat?”

“You know.” he makes a gesture with his hand that's ..unclear what it's supposed to mean. “You were working there with everyone else, and then there was that fire and I was sure I saw you down there under the rubble.”

He's silent for a couple seconds before he hesitantly continues

“And then no one could find you so most assumed you either burned or ran away. And now you're here with all your weird ghost stuff, so you must be dead.”

Swerve has.No idea what to think about it. And what to say? He's been so busy blaming himself for Blurr getting hurt that it hasn't occurred to him to think about what it looks like from Blurr's own perspective.

“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”

“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head’s all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”

Swerve wants to run around and bang his head against the wall.

Instead, he gets up from the hospital bed. Carefully.

“You're high. I'm not going to explain things to you while you're high, you won't understand or remember them. Go back to sleep. It's the middle of the night.”

“You'll tell me later?”

Swerve hums quietly and pulls the curtains all the way closed.

“If future, sober Blurr would want my company.”

---------------

Jazz looks at him. Very intensely.

“Are you going to tell me who this mystery person you keep coming back to Earth for?”

Swerve snorts.

“What makes you think it's anyone in particular?”

“You're right, you're right~” raises his hands in surrender Jazz “So are you going to tell your friend the whole thing?”

Swerve crosses his ..metal arms over his metal chest.

“Is it that big of a deal? He thinks I'm a ghost or something.”

Being a ghost...somehow better, he thinks. If you're a ghost, it kind of automatically implies you're human. Or was a human.

“Sooner or later, he'll put the facts together~” says Jazz in a chant.

Swerve laughs.

“That's unlikely. He's got a pretty bad memory.”

_______________

His plans to stay out of anyone's sight combust with a dramatic pop the next time he projects himself to Earth. He doesn't plan to interfere, he doesn't even plan to linger. He just wants to see what's going on.

He actually just quietly sneaks into the hospital to make sure nothing's happened to Blurr since last time, but when he finally finds him then...oh shit, is that Pharma in the same room with him??? This can't be good.

They don't speak, but Pharma has clearly locked his eyes on Blurr and starts making his way towards him with the relentlessness of a industrial metal press.

Swerve does some rough math in his head. If he briefly gives his holoform back its detail and voice, will that be enough to fry his processor? He's not sure.

Pharma gives a believable impression of a shark getting close. The staff, as if sensing something untoward is about to happen, leaves the room in a hurry.

Blurr looks indifferent, but Swerve's attention is drawn to the way he squints tensely. Man, the lamps are too bright in here.

Pharma smiles sweetly and reaches out for a handshake

“Mind some company?”

Swerve's mental processes fly out the window. Oh no no. Not Pharma. Not in his fucking fanfic. He quickly changes his work clothes into a slightly more business-like looking shirt. Thinks for just a moment and adds a cap to his head to blend in more strongly with the attendants and hide his face to an extent. And then projects himself around the nearest unoccupied corner and runs out of behind it looking as anxious as he feels.

“Blurr!!! Sir, there you are!!! I've been looking everywhere for you!”

Pharma wants to say something, but Swerve doesn't even let him start. He stands in front of Blurr separating him and Farma expressively waves his hands trying to keep his head down.

“The guys you were talking about didn't bring the new hydraulics! It's a disaster, we'll have to use the one on the old models!”

Blurr, to his surprise, backs up his act almost instantly

“Really? But I thought there was nothing to take from the old models?”

“That's exactly the point! I got the paperwork this morning and...oh those assholes are going to screw it up if you don't step in as soon as possible!”

Pharma tilts his head

“Can it wait? We were actually talking here!”

Oh no, thinks Swerve I'll show you who's talking.

“Sir, no offense but this is a matter of extreme urgency. Are you implying that the safety of your patients is not important?”

“What do you mea...”

“Old faulty hydraulics, that's what you want?” raises an eyebrow in horror Blurr.

“No I'm just...”

“I had a better opinion of you, to be honest.”

“I...” opens his mouth Pharma “...WHAT...?”

Swerve shakes his head.

“And I thought his profession was to help people, can you imagine?”

“Wh..”

Blurr rolls his eye.

“Any idiot can get an important position these days.”

“Wait..”

“Tell me about it. Especially doctors.”

Pharma looks like he's about to start pulling the hair out of his head.

“Can at least one of you shut up??”

Swerve adjusts his cap in a businesslike manner

“Sir, I understand you're a bit detached from reality spending so much time in your department, but you need to take better care of your reputation.”

He raises his eyebrows knowingly

“Wouldn't want the rumors about you to turn out to be true. You know what I mean?”

Pharma doesn't even answer anymore. Pharma just looks like a discarded fish.

“…..Wha....there's rumors?”

“Of course” shrugs Swerve ”Ask Norman, he usually knows everything about everyone. And about your interesting tricks with safety, too.”

He leans in conspiratorially, effectively pulling all of Farma's attention to himself

“So if I were you, I'd stay out of any more things you don't understand.”

Pharma wants to say something. Swerve can tell by the look in his eyes. Pharma tries to come up with a witty and context-appropriate response, but this whole conversation has no more context than a typical episode of Teletubbies.

“Where does this Norman guy work?” finally finds the ground beneath his feet Pharma

Swerve shrugs.

“Block C, if he hasn't been transferred yet. He's already been fined several times for spreading harmful information you know? The guy can't keep a secret.”

Pharma throws his hands up angrily and storms away. Probably looking for context. Or revenge.

A quiet cough sounds behind Swerve's back.

“So. Should I be worried about Norman's health?”

Swerve feels the hair on the back of his neck shiver and slowly turns to face Blurr while still looking somewhere on the floor.

“Uh...only if you're concerned about the fate of fictional characters. I made up Norman's wife, she'll be upset if he gets fired for gossiping.”

Blurr chuckles. Then goes silent. Then, after a couple seconds, starts laughing again. That's a good look for him, Swerve thinks. It's not like Blurr's usual velvet-smooth laugh that he uses at social events. It's more like a quick, jerky giggle, and in Swerve's subjective opinion, it's pretty damn cute. He can't help but grin.

Blurr snorts one last time, cutting off the laughter.

Then he reaches out his hand to him.

Swerve reaches back, expecting a handshake, but Blurr ignores his hand and instead goes for his cap and lifts it by the brim.

Swerve, not expecting this, freezes with his hand outstretched.

Blurr freezes as well, still holding the cap in his hand and looking...like he's rethinking his life. A little.

Ugh, and how to explain it all to him....

“Uh...you...uh...probably don't remember me. I...it's...”

Blurr shifts his gaze from Swerve to the cap in his hand. Then back to Swerve.

“You're real???”

Swerve awkwardly waves his hands in front of him

“Ah not.., not really. Do you know why Pharma was looking for you in the first place? He doesn't work with patients anymore, he's been reassigned to the research department, right?”

Blurr shrugs.

“Last time I saw him, he said I might have implant rejection in the third ..uh..what? stage? or something? I think he's trying to get me in for a checkup.”

Swerve twitches.

“Third??? How are you still standing???”

He then quickly reaches up with both hands to Blurr's head and tilts it so he can see his face better. Using one thumb, he pulls his lower eyelid slightly and mentally catalogs. Temperature normal, pupil normal, eyes are steady, no darkening or trace of blood on the eyelid. Implants? He puts both palms up and gently feels the places behind Blurr's ears. No signs of rejection or malfunction.

“No no no” sighs Swerve ”You're fine, it's only stage two. I mean, second sucks too, migraines and all, but you just need to rest and no bright lights and...” he finally notices his hands are still on Blurr's head and pulls them back as fast as if he's been burned ”I MEAN I'm uh...sorry, I didn't mean to, I...”

Blurr laughs quietly.

“I'm glad you're back.”

_____________________

He wakes up in his quarters and can feel his face burning.

When he goes out to get the energon, Jazz throws him a look.

“Is something wrong? You're all kinda...shaky.”

“Hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuu” imitates signs of life Swerve “Say, doesn't it bother you that Prowl isn't human?”

Jazz smiles

“ Oh, I went crazy when I found out. But we figured it out.”

“Like...on a scale from ‘bad grade in school’ to ‘an asteroid is coming to Earth’ how crazy was it?”

“Worried about what your human friends will think?”

Swerve swings back and forth on his heels

“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Whatnooooo, no of course not. I'd be worried if I planned on telling them at all.”

Jazz frowns

“No offense, but keeping secrets isn't your strong suit.”

“Haha” Swerve waves his servo “ Watch me.”

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #482: Mario and Friends React to Most of Them Losing in a Golf Game (SSBU)

Mario

Mario: (Running Around While Crying on Screen)

Falco: Wow.......I did not know our golden plumber boi here was that much of a sore loser.

Fox: (Already in Disbelief) I know, right? And on a simple Golf game of all things......

Luigi: (Turns to Mario While Smirking a bit Playfully) You got anything you wanna say about this, bro?

Mario: ('Sigh in Embarrassment') I really wish I didn't do all that...... Might've been on Live T.V. at one point.....

Peach: (Giggles Softly While Sitting Right Next to Mario)

Mario: (Turns and Raised an Eyebrow at His Princess/Girlfriend) And what seems to be so funny to you, your majesty?~

Peach: (Pokes at Mario's Cheek With a Few Giggles and Laughter) You, sweetie-pie!~ (Pulls Mario in for a Loving Hug) I almost forgot how adorable you were when you started running around like that~

Mario: (Blushes Even More) Peachhh!~ I already told you! I'm not cuuute!

Peach: (Snuggles onto Mario) And I keep telling you that you will always be my cute, sweet prince~ (Kisses All Over Mario's Face)

Mario: (Starts Getting Ticklish by Every Kiss He Gets) Momma M-Mia, Peach!~ That tickles!~ Come on!!~

Samus: (Already Got a Smirk on her Face) So much for trying to prove her wrong.

Daisy: All in favor of declaring Mario as the cute, sweet prince for now on, say 'Aye'!

Everyone: 'Aye'!!!

Luigi

Luigi: (On Screen) I'm a loser......

Luigi: I can't believe I actually did all of that. (Chuckles Lightly) Guess I was a pretty big loser at the time, huh?

Everyone immediately staring at Luigi in Silent.

Luigi: Uhhh......Guys?

Daisy: (Took a Deep Breath) Okay..... Luigi, honey, there's something very important we all wanna tell you right now.

Luigi: Really? What's that?

Daisy: Simple......Luigi.

Everyone: YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dedede: And anyone who says otherwise, is gonna get hit in the head with a mallet!!!

Luigi: (Frowns a Little) You guys, you didn't have to tell me all of that. Really.

Daisy: (Hugs her man Very Lovingly) We know. We just wanna make sure you get memo. You know how much I hate hearing you talk bad about yourself, right?~

Luigi: (Smiles Softly While Having Daisy in his Arms) Of course I do, dear~ I'll do my best not to think that way anymore. Promise.

Daisy: Okay. (Snuggle onto Luigi's Embrace) I'll take your word for it. (Gives Luigi a Kiss on the Lips) I love you~

Luigi: I love you too, Daisy~

Peach

Peach: (Starts to Faint on Screen)

Dedede: (Laughs Wholeheartedly) I don't know about y'all, but that just might be the most accurate one yet!

Peach: (Glares at Dedede while Placing her Hands on her Hips) And what does that supposed to be?

Mario: Please don't take this the wrong, dear, but.....You do have the tendency to faint..... A lot.

Peach: (Gasps while Blushing) Why, I never!! (Crosses her Arms) I-I don't recall ever fainting once in this very mansion!!

Daisy: (Raised an Eyebrow at Peach) Oh really? Then how about the time you fainted over every tournament matches we watched together?

Peach: W-Well, it's not my fault the fights were getting intense as of late.....

Fox: What about most of the time all of watch a movie together.

Peach: Some movies have impressive and unpredictable twist in them. You can't fault me for reacting to them like that.....

Luigi: What about the time all the kids went missing?

Peach: You know how much I care for all of my babies!!!!

Bayonetta: Ooh. What about the time you accidentally saw me and Paulie in the sho-

Peach: (Blushes Bright Red) OKAY! OKAY! FINE!!! You all have proven your points quite enough today! Now could we please move on before I faint in embarrassment?!

Daisy: (Starts Snickering) Sure thing, cuz.

Falco: "Faint in Embarrassment".......(Turns to Fox) People do that?

Fox: (Shrugged) Probably.

Daisy

Daisy: (On Screen) Nonononono! You Clouts!!!

Bayonetta: Well, well. (Starts Smirking Playfully Towards Daisy) It looks someone's being a terrible sport here.

Samus: Another accurate depiction.

Daisy: ('Scoffs') Please. (Crosses her Arms) My sportsmanship isn't that bad.

Peach: Daisy. Sweetie. Ever since our friendship started to blossom, you would always get competitive to almost every sports and games we played. Even Cricket.

Daisy: ('Ughh') You're still not letting that one go?

Peach: No. Out of all the sports we played in our youth, why must you be so rough whenever we play cricket together?!

Daisy: (Rolled her Eyes) Come on, Peach. It's not that big of a deal. You do know it's technically a sport, right?

Peach: It's Cricket!! It's supposed to be a nice, relaxing game! Not a literal competition!

Daisy: Oh, and like you're the sane one when it comes of these sports games!!!

Samus: (Already Getting Annoyed) Alright, you two, knock off. (Turns to Daisy) Daisy, would you just admit that you're competitive already so we can move on?

Daisy: But I-

Samus: (Gives Daisy a Dark Glare)...........

Daisy: ('Sighs in Defeat') Okay. So maybe I am too competitive for my own good.....

Luigi: I still think it cute.

Daisy: (Pouts at Luigi While Blushing) You're just saying that to make me feel better, Weegie......

Luigi: W-Well, it's honest truth. (Hugs Daisy) You are adorable to me~.......It is making you feel better.....Right?

Daisy: ..................(Finally Starts Snuggling onto her man with a Cute Smile) It is, 'hon~

Yoshi

Yoshi: (Starts Falling Down Adorably on Screen)

Daisy: (Frowns Sadly) Awwwwwwwww~ My poor baby.......

Luigi: (Frowns Sadly as Well) He looks so sad when he's discouraged.....

Samus: Yeah......(Frowns a Little) It does look a bit heart wrenching now that I think about it.

Dedede: Ah there's nothing for y'all to be sad about here. I'm sure that boy has already moved on from the phase.

Luigi: I guess......(Sees Yoshi Making his Way Towards the Door) S-Son!!

Yoshi: Oh! Uh. (Turns to Luigi) Yeah, dad?

Luigi: I'm not sure if your mother and I told you this enough today but-

Daisy: (Already in Tears) Your mommy and daddy loves you so much, sweetheart!! Please don't ever forget that, okay?!!

Yoshi: (A bit Startled by his Mom's Sudden Outburst) Y-Yeah. Sure.....(Smiles a Little) I love you guys too-

Dark Pit: (Already Laughing Outside)

Yoshi: ('Sigh') If you guys will excuse me.....(Opens the Door) have a certain dark angel to pummel with water balloons. (Sprints Outside)

'Door Closed'

Daisy: Kick his ass, sweetie!!!

Palutena: Daisy! That's our son he's talking about.

Bayonetta: Wellllll.....In all fairness, our boi may have said something to Yoshi that he shouldn't have. Either that, or he just messing with him on a daily basis for....some reason.

Palutena: ('Sigh') I guess....But still....My baby.

Bayonetta: (Hugs Palutena Lovingly) I know, dear~ I know~

Donkey Kong

DK: (Throws a Giant Barrel on the Ground and Starts Slam his Two Fist Down in Anger on Screen)

Falco: You know, I dunno why, but I kinda had a feeling that the big guy would do something like that.

Everyone: (Nodding in Agreement) Yeah/True/Uh-huh.

Diddy Kong

Diddy: (Gets Angry and Starts Making a Scene on Screen)

Mario: Mama Mia..... I've never seen Diddy this upset before.....

Samus: Tell me about it.....It seems so surreal and everything.

Peach: (Frowns a Little) Yeah.....It makes me worried about him even more than it should.

Fox: Uh, your majesty. You do know this was all just a while ago, right?

Peach: I know. But you know me..... I'm always worried about my babies.

Daisy: (Place a hand on Peach's Shoulder) We all are, cuz. We are.

Wario

Wario: (Angrily Waves his Fist after Throwing a Random Giant Boulder at Something....Only to get Squashed by the same Boulder on Screen)

Luigi: Okay. This is something I gotta ask.....(Turns to Wario) How in the heck were you able to survive all of that?!!

Wario: ('Wahahaha!!') You forgot, 'cuz? This is me you losers are talking about here. (Shows off his Arm Muscles) I'm strong enough to survive everything!! ('Wahahaha!!!')

Dedede: (Rolled his Eyes) Yet you still lose against me in Death Battle.....

Wario: (Glares at Dedede) Ah shut up, cheater. That fan show was a fluke and you know it. (Starts Cracking his Knuckles) I can beat you in a real match right here, right now!

Dedede: (Glares Back at Wario) Boy.....You can try facing me all you want....(Slams his Mallet Down on the Floor) But you'll most certainly fail.

Peach: (Immediately Got Off of the Couch) That is enough, you two! We are all here to have a good time and enjoy ourselves here today, not to start fights. Both you calm yourselves right now, or I will not hesitate to kick you out of this living room. Do I make myself clear?

Dedede: Yes ma'am.......

Wario: (Walks Away) Whatever.........

Waluigi

Waluigi: (Slumps Down in Utter Defeat on Screen) Whyyyyy?

Fox: (Rolled his Eyes) Who else thinks this is how Waluigi reacted when he didn't get invited to the tournament?

Everyone: (Nodded in Agreement) Me/Yeah...../Definitely.

Dedede: The man always was a drama queen.

Peach: ('Sigh') Guys, come on. Don't you think you all are being a bit harsh on him here?

Samus: Yeah, but.....I mean, this IS Waluigi we're talking about here.....

Falco: (Shrugged) Pretty inevitable to not make a few remarks about him.

Peach: True.....But he has feelings, just like the rest of us.........I think.

Bowser

Bowser: (Slumps Down and Use his Fist to Pound the Ground in Utter Defeat on Screen)

Dedede: God-Damn. Even Bowser taking losing too seriously....

Bayonetta: (Glares at the Screen a Little) This is starting to get more ridiculous by the second........

Palutena: (Turns to her Girlfriend) You're.....Still not mad about what Bowser did last year, are you?

Bayonetta: (Immediately Starts Having Flashbacks About the Time She Starts Yelling at Bowser for being Lazy on her Simple Chores) Well....... You could say that I'm not entirely happy with him right now..... Not one bit.

Samus: (Whispers in Palutena's Ear) Did something happened between those two or.......

Palutena: (Whispers back to Samus) It's a long story......

Bowser Jr.

Bowser Jr: (Starts Crying on Screen)

Peach: (Frowns Sadly While Placing her Hand on her Chest) ......................

Mario: (Turns to Peach) Peach.....Is everything okay?

Peach: ('Sighs Sadly')......I still feel terrible about how I treated Junior and the his siblings over the years.....

Mario: (Gently Holds Both of Peach's Hands) Those are all in the past. You have all the chance in world now to make it up to them.

Peach: I know. I'm just..... Really scared of messing things up with them, you know?

Mario: (Gently Squeezes Peach's Hands Reassuringly with a Smile) Hey. I know it can be scary, but I still believe you have what it takes to make things right. You are a "Certified Mom" in this Mansion after all.

Peach: (Hugs Mario Lovingly While Being Determined) You're right, Mario. I won't give up on any them. Not now or ever! Thank you so much, dear~

Mario: (Hugs Peach Back) You're always welcome, Peach.

Boo

Boo: (Rolls Around on the Ground in Sadness on Screen)

Dedede: (Confused) Wait a minute. How come that Boo doesn't go through underground or whatever?

Luigi: (Shrugged) Maybe it has something to do with his emotions. It does seems too sad to do anything right now.

Dedede: Yeah, maybe.

Shadow Mario

Shadow Mario: (Trips on the Ground and Sulks on Screen)

Peach: (Whispers to Mario) Hey, Mario, were you able to figure out who Shadow Mario really was after the tourney was over?

Mario: Not exactly. There was no trace of him anywhere....

Peach: Well..... Whoever that person is, I hope they're safe out there.

Mario: Yeah......

Petey Piranha

Petey: (Vomits Goop on the Ground While Falling Down on Screen)

Samus: (Eyes Widened in Disgusted) Please don't tell me that was literal vomit he spat out just now......

Mario: It's not vomit. It's just a mixture of mud and goop. (Rubs the Back of his Head Back and Forth) He...... Usually spit a puddle of them out whenever he's in a mood......

Everyone stares at Mario in complete silence.

Mario: I faced him back in Bianco Hills. He's.......a handful to faced to say the least........

Reaction Over

Mario: So? What do you guys think?

Fox: It was....... Something......

Bayonetta: Pretty Interesting, if you ask me.

Samus: (Shrugged) Sort of a learning experience.

Dedede: You know, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Y'all took golf wayyyyyyyyyy too seriously in this one.

Falco: The king's right. No one should take it that seriously. Not even us.

Daisy: Yeah......(Giggles Softly) We were pretty out there, aren't we?

Peach: (Smiles Softly) I'd say so. I'm just glad we were all able to share these strange, wonderful memories with all of you today.

Palutena: (Smiles Softly) We're all glad too in a way. And who knows? Maybe this game was a life learning lesson for you guys be more humble and sportsmen-like.

Luigi: (Starts Rubbing the Back of his Head Back and Forth) Ehhhhhhh.....

Dedede: (Raised an Eyebrow) Y'all did learn a lesson about it after Toadstool Tour was over with, right?

Luigi: ('Sigh') Let's just say our golf journey afterwards was..... outlandish to say the least.....

@keyenuta

@26shann

@cyber-wildcat

@luigifan00001

@ma-lemons

@ink-correctsmashbrosbloo

@albion-93

[bards-anonymous]

The Dishonored RPG [Session 9 part 1]

Distinguished individuals, for a little while I’ve been going off about a character named Harriett Anderson. I have offered very little explanation into who she was spare saying that she was a dumb-ass. [ which is still very true]

Well.... here she is

She is part of a 3....im gonna say 4 technically individual party.

First there is Harriett, she is a Miscreant, a crime boi if you will

Next is Darius who is a Guide, he has by his side a wolfhound by the name of Asher

and Last but CERTAINLY not least we have our sneaky boi Phineas who is naturally an assassin.

The party dynamic had been growing very decently for the last 8 sessions we have had. 

Our party has narrowly escaped a ton of shit and defied death a number of times. Our luck has been decent, we have had sessions so far that have had the party on the edge of our seats......but this last session DEAR GOD..........you wanna talk about panic inducing and fear......LET ME TELL YOU omg

So we are chilling, heading our merry ol way down the flooded district and a plant type monster is clinging to one of the buildings and we ......as sneaky as we are.....are able to slip by un noticed

we arrive to an area that is flooded...[IN THE FLOODED DISTRICT NO LESS]. It is sort of like a lake type deal that our party is sure leads to the access tunnel we need to enter....

Well... Phineas got himself stuck under some rubble under the water making a lot of now and now....the plant monster sees Harriett and Darius. 

Darius hides in rubble with Asher. 

Harriett dives into the water, to hid and to help Phineas. Luckily Phineas gets himself unstuck and UNAWARE OF THE PLANT MONSTER...goes to the surface to breath 

Well the Plant monster starts to shoot thorns and Phineas nopes himself back into the water. He and Harriett start to swim for the access tunnel in hopes of dodging the thorns. 

WELLLLLL our DM had us roll something and we are like....*chill chill np chief*

and my favorite sneaky twink rolls a COMPLICATION.

and our DM is like.........*hold up.... I need to take a second break for this*

at this point we are losing it cause this can be nothing but trouble..... and our DM comes back.... like

As Phineas swims, he is hit with thorn after thorn and one hits his neck and he goes limp.....

*now when I say panic I want you to know I was in full PANIC mode

our DM was like... “im not gonna kill him, trust me....” so we are like....OKAY

Harriett watching her Buddy get messed up swims and grabs him.... and takes him into the tunnel. 

After throwing a grenade to throw plant boi off,  Darius and Asher follow right behind.  

Phineas is VERY CLEARLY dying and Harriett is panicking trying to do what ever she can to help her friendand then our DM goes

after 10 mins of trying you feel his heart stops beating and he stops breathing.

THIS WHOLE MAN IS DEAD

Darius is sitting his face in his hands and Harriett is crying while still trying to do something distraught as hell......

THEN OUR DM GOES...

Phineas you wake up......

hold up.... HE WHAT

okay.... now we are sitting here in near silence.... as players and characters like HOLY SHIT..... our mans is dead and we failed him. WE are all in shock...

now I want you to guess where he was at ....

Ill wait a moment for ya

IT WAS THE FUCKING VOID..............THIS MAN WAS IN THE FREAKING FRACKING VOID..... 

The outsider waltzes over ya know.....LIKE HE DOES

and tells Phineas how he is certainly causing a stir...

AND GRANTS HIM THE WHOLE ASS OUTSIDERS MARK

He is woken up and fully healed. THIS man came back from the dead.... like straight up .....no heart beat to boooom heart beat. 

Harriett is crying her eyes out hugging Phineas as Darius is in full on shock that this man came back from the WHOLE ASS DEAD

We all took a moment and collected ourselves and moved on with our mission but OUR TWINK HAS VOID POWERS..............

it was a very fun session and im gonna post a second part with some character ideas and directions. 

[Reposted cause I forgot to add a title and it bothered me]

[rannadylin]

So here they are! I made a Lenneth for the Sims 4 tutorial and she is as adorable as a Lenneth can be so I kept on playing her and made an Aloth to go with her after the tutorial was done. And they do go together splendidly!

How splendidly? Wellllll...continue after the cut if you dare, there are a lot of pictures to share!

Like her PoE counterpart, Sim Lenni dabbles in many skills. She’s learning to be a violinist like her dad...and it occurs to me I’ve never had PoE Lenneth show musical skill beyond dancing when someone else plays, and I may have to rectify that.

After I finished the tutorial and Lenneth’s tutorial-housemate moved out, I (after some struggling to find out HOW you add new Sims) brought in Aloth to live in the spare room. It did not take long for Lenneth - bubbly, cheerful, endlessly curious fashion journalist (how did she end up with that career? I’m not really sure) to chat this nerd (gloomy, neat freak, logical, and unemployed at first because wizard isn’t an actual Sims career) into utter adoration for her. Seriously, he was following her around the house most of the time. He also played a lot of chess to up his logic skills for one of those nerd aspirations. Something about the game seems to have shocked Lenni here.

They went on some dates, their first one being to the museum. Mostly it was Lenni asking him out, which seems very like her. There was tickling:

There was something more in the direction of flirtation:

There was a date at the park where they started out both too close to exhaustion and halfway through the date it ended up being a nap.

But once rested, there were heart eyes.

Eventually there was a proposal!

And then, because I am new to the game’s mechanics, there was some confusion about planning a wedding. Apparently “plan” means “go do the event right this very minute!” so I didn’t actually have time to arrange the catering/music/drinks that were apparently supposed to happen when I picked the park for the venue...Also they were, once again, too near exhausted at the start of the event to see it through. So the night ended up back home without saying the vows just yet...But with hot dogs.

But not to worry; we got it figured out and had a decent wedding (at home, in the garden rather in need of watering, and for some reason she changed to a red dress this time...).

She even got to use those well-practiced violin skills to entertain her own wedding guests!

Soon after that...Aloth, having leveled up his nerd stuff, somehow ended up with a goal of building and launching a rocket. Like, not a toy rocket. A proper GO TO SPACE rocket.

Well...why not, huh? I guess it’s the Sims equivalent of a wizard. Aloth, Rocket Scientist!

Lenni was proud of his accomplishment.

All this while he was technically unemployed and Lenni keeps getting promoted in her fashion journalist job...

Lenni has also been dabbling in art, since her job calls for her to illustrate fashion sometimes...

And then after they’d been married a little while, Lenni had her birthday and aged up from young adult to adult. And then Aloth’s birthday came a little later (in the PoE version I think she’s younger than him? But she’s cagey about her actual age so no one really knows) and she made him a cake (which is what actually ages you up in this game, as I found out when I tried to make a cake for someone but Lenni was the first to eat it and it catapulted her into senility all of a sudden!) and then they went out for a birthday date. 

Kind of an awkward date, since strangers and casual acquaintances kept trying to come up and start conversations with them. Lenneth stepped out to use the bathroom at one point and the fangirls swarmed Aloth...

I mean, sometimes this game is very true to life. XD

But then Lenni came back to stake her claim on her husband and then they went home and there was kitchen kissing...

And the next day Aloth finally finished building his rocket and then...well. Did you know Sims can, ahem, get pregnant in a rocket ship? He took Lenni on a space date and she came back to earth quite pregnant.

Which seems like a good point to end this post, as long as it’s getting...more to come as their family increases!

[the-kipsabian]

Please do this at your convenience but like. Can you put me together a playlist of what you consider to be Danny's best vocals? Or his best work in general? Nsp, starbomb, skyhill? I just want a good starting place

dude, honestly tho? i would be absolutely honored to do this

k so aaaAAAA lets start with. skyhill i guess since thats the first one on the line? (technically i think northern hues is the first band he was in that published stuff but i havent listened to it myself so i dont knoooow anything about it other than what i just read from a comment on a youtube video and that is that it definitely sounds like the kind of music dan would have made in his stoner days which probably was true lol)

skyhill has a lot of really good chill songs tho? i personally really love ‘the city as you walk’ and ‘black & white’ the most i think - both are like lyrically really nice to listen to and the chorus especially in black & white is just hnggg. its so good tbh. but really any skyhill songs are good! they arents. as advanced vocally as his later stuff obviously, since this band is like. 12 years old at this point at least but its nice chill stuff with honestly really nice but simple lyrics if you want some good stuff to listen to as a break from all the dick jokes and whatnots that nsp and starbomb have to offer tho!

starbomb is honestly a bit more difficult tho cause its like. much more arin-heavy with the raps and such? but! lets not have that fool us cause there are still plenty of quality songs with pretty vocals by dan tho! ..also hahaa i think its needless to say but hey heres a heavy nsfw warning for these songs

‘mega marital problems’ is a personal favorite, mostly cause dan does like. three different voices in this one? and its hilarious. also if you listen in the chorus parts, you can hear the layered singing he does and its honestly just so good mmmm

‘crasher-vania’ i feel like im gonna betray myself if i dont put this on the list for multiple reasons. 1. its EASILY the most popular song on the album. 2. its freaking fantastic, with the story and the lyrics. 3. the chorus, again? (as dan most often did the chorus work on the first album!) it sounds beautiful and especially in the second chorus, you can hear him emoting it out with the lyrics. 4. the background music. if you stop to listen to it, its honestly so good? like, its very simple, yes, but it works and it just sounds awesome. always brings a smile on my face to listen to those tasty keyboard jams ~

im gonna add ‘regretroid’ here too, as its a personal favorite too. but also his voice. goes so high? and it sounds nice?? also this song is just banging with a female feature vocalist! which is real nice!!

as for the second starbomb album! im separating it a little cause woo the boys honestly improve a lot between the albums (which is crazy cause theres only like. a year? year and a half at max? between these two albums so i cant even think how good the third one is gonna sound with five years between albums and how good current nsp sounds lol)

‘smash!’ i gotta mention cause its like. the single song from the album i feel like? also cause mark is in it! and they all sound rad and yeah it doesnt have exactly too much singing but what it has sounds. so freaking good tho mmmmm i lov

‘glass joe’s title fight’ is a must on this tho cause like. this is the one starbomb song thats so much more sing than rap heavy and hngggg its so good

‘god of no more’ okay but. dans vocals in this are gorgeous. and its a super fun song too. so its a win-win

and as a personal favorite, im just gonna throw ‘robots in need of disguise’ here cause i love this song. no other reason really lol

and thennnnn we arrive to the glory that is ninja sex party! i could be a little shit and just say to listen to all lol, but im gonna try to pick things here and there among my favorites! trying to also go by album order with these ~ also nsfw warning for this but idk what you expect with a band called ninja sex party tho

‘nsp theme song’ i mean. come on. you gotta start somewhere so lets go with this lol. and its hilarious (and kinda cute but maybe thats just me lol) and the lyrics are just. well what you’d expect with the name of the song. its very simple vocal-wise, but other than that, grade a stuff tho

‘dinosaur laser fight’ is just a classic, so here you go. its wonderful and weird and animated by arin so aaaaaa!

..also i wanna add ‘objects of desire’ here cause this song is like. lyrical genius tbh. its fucking weird but its also like a ballad so theres some nice vocal stuff here too so yay. thingssssss

‘unicorn wizard’ i honestly wouldnt be true to myself if i didnt add my FIRST nsp song to this list, the one that got me listening to these fools cause mmm. this song is ridiculous and but also lyrics? are so good?? idk how that combo works out but it does and its beautiful. also dannys vocals in the chorus are mmmmm. so solid

‘fyi i wanna f your a’ im not even ashamed to say this is one of my faves tbh. its just. the glorious kind of weird and this is like one of my favorite examples of how well these nerds write lyrics tho? also such a hard song to learn the lyrics tho, but its so worth it, trust me lol. aLSO DAN HARMONIES IN THE SECOND PART GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE HOLY SHIT

‘let’s get this terrible party started’ gets a special mention cause of the badass jams tbh. also the lyric ‘its a ninja sex party party’ gets me every fucking time. even after five years of listening to this song lol

oooof attitude city is so hard to pick just few songs from tho aaaa. but, as ive done about three from every album so far, lets try that with this one too. tho honestly just. listen to the entirety of attitude city its so good mmm. but. lets start with what i personally feel is the most underrated song on the album, ‘peppermint creams’. i dont think i need to say more than holy shit the emotions tho? especially in the chorus cause mmm. my heart

‘attitude city’ gets here too tho cause like. im personally very nostalgic for this song as it was the first real hype i had for the album so yeah. also its honestly just a really good song. also the video. includes dancing. and we all should know how i feel about dan dancing so mmmMMM im biased as shit i admit it

‘cookies!’ i wanna put this here cause it shows the how stupidly versatile these nerds are with their songs, cause this is badass and silly cute at the same time and hngg. also visually? demon!dan is way too much of a guilty pleasure. judge me all you want i donT CARE

..also i just gotta mention ‘samurai abstinence patrol’ cause of the vocal work. and just cause this song was in progress for four years before this final form and its beautiful honestly. also ‘danny french kissed a girl like he was the king of versailles’ will never get old to me gosh

I SWEAR IM DONE WITH ATTITUDE CITY AFTER THIS but also ‘6969′ is a must to mention. its an eight and half minute song but its just. amazing at everything. beautiful jams and awesome vocals. its gorgeous tbh, a masterpiece

‘cool patrol’. first of all cause apparently i “traumatized” one of my friends by making him watch the video to this and yeah. this is vocally one of my absolute favorites from them tho, dan sounds amazing in both styles, and its just. so positive and cute and aaaaa. its just such an uplifting song i love it

‘danny don’t you know’ cause this one made my cry the first few times i listened to it and its just. so relatable. also fucking beautiful vocals tho and yes the lyrics are personal which makes it even more emotional song. hnggg i love this so much tho cause it just. goes from kind of a ballad to a more of a rock song and its amazing. development similar to the story its telling

‘first date’ i mean. i gotta put my current fave song of theirs here, right? RIGHT? personally i love this cause its just a positive song, in a way i guess, but it stays true to the original nsp style and the lyrics are just perfect for their song about dating tbh. especially with how it just keeps getting gradually weirder and weirder. its just perfection hnggg i love this song. so much. god its so good (honestly tho if you give me a lyric like ‘i’ll take you back to your place and we’ll craft the perfect alibi’ idk how you expect me, a thriller writer, not to absolutely love this song to hell and back)

‘courtship of the mermaid’ idk how you expect me to make a list without this. the emotions in the vocals of this song are beautiful and its, again, hilariously absurd. as a mermaid princess i highly approve of this song

‘mansion party’ its so sad there will probably never be a video of this song cause they want to film it in an actual mansion and so far they havent mentioned that they got a chance to do that so mmmm. cause this song is so fucking banging it deserves a video honestly. the chorus is like. one of the few things in this world that makes me wanna dance. and also theres so many genius lyrics in this that its just pure gold all the way through tbh (also how do you smoke champagne? asking for a friend)

one more i swear, but the whole cool patrol album is so good hngg. but! ‘smooth talkin’’! in all of its absurdity is a must to listen to. its just what the title says, about how smooth danny is with talking to ladies. im not gonna explain more just. it goes as well as you’d expect at this point

..this is already super long but hey did you know we are still missing the two cover albums tho??

‘everybody wants to rule the world’ this one makes me wanna cry every single time. its so nice and emotional and just. a+ vocals. its just beautiful

‘subdivisions’ idk what it is really with this song but these lyrics just fit together with dan’s voice so well its just. hnggg so gorgeous? i mean it might be cause its a rush song but also yeah. its so good

‘africa’ i mean i already told you, but his vocals are so nice in this and they fit into the style of the song so well. plus africa is a beautiful song to begin with so its a win-win really

‘pour some sugar on me’ cause oh boy my pal isnt this song just banging mmmmmmMMMMM

and for the finale! ‘heat of the moment’! like. everything about this song is just really good okay? the vocals and especially the music itself is like mmm i love it?? also the cowbell. idk what it is with that in this song, but it just. it sounds so good with dan’s vocals and aaaaa

..have i rambled enough? is this a good list?? literally just mmm anything from any of these bands is a good listen, these are just mostly my personal faves or what i feel like would be the best representations of what they are about!

[riptidezzzz]

watched raya yesterday nd i have thoughts no spoilers here we go

so the biggest thing is sisu. i love her. i definitely get why didn’t dont like the design(i didn’t either) but after seeing how she moved and interacted with the world around her it grew on me. don’t like her but awkwafina did a good job voicing her.

also raya. she’s so enjoyable and an amazing main character. i love how she followers her fathers path but in her own way.

also the other characters are super likable. i love found family and the dynamics from each member are super good

and while i enjoy the main characters, the movie itself is really... meh. it’s ok. not bad but not the best. it has a 95% on rotten tomatoes but compared to something like soul which also has a 95% it doesn’t feel like it holds up. it’s def more a 75%-85% range

the movie is almost 2 hours long which makes it the second longest disney movie behind fantasia. just a fun fact. ok back to the review

there’s always something happening in the story there’s never really any down time. this is good for the development of the main heroes but makes everyone and everything else underdeveloped. there’s a bunch on nice places and interesting characters but the film spends at most like 7 minutes in one place

the scenery was amazing. everything looked so nice even the places that were supposed to be ugly and barren look amazing.

the scene when they show why sisu was the last dragon from her pov was super lame. you think that the dragons would be attempting to fight the threat or at least look someone scared but nope. they just kinda stood there. they should’ve had some lines for the other dragons to make it feel more intense and emotional.

THE VILLAIN. this is def going to be controversial but she was not that interesting to me. i cant even remember why she was after raya in the first place it was that forgettable to me. i went into her tag before writing this and no surprise everyone was just screaming abt her and raya being big lesbians. there was one post that was like ‘omg this significant but not really moment between villain and sisu🥺’

also after the villain does this super bad thing they are like ‘wellllll i did do it raya but you were there soooooooo technically you’re just as guilty🙄’ AND THE MOVIE JUST GOES WITH IT????? EVEN THOUGH THATS NOT TRUE????? the villain also gets mad after that bc she thinks raya doubted sisu and that’s why the bad thing happened. throughout the whole movie raya and sisu want the same thing they just go about them differently. sisu thinks they need to be nice and they’ll get what they want(but we the audience knows that it won’t bc it’s the main reason sisu is needed) but raya knows that it won’t work. and it doesn’t.

overall the movie is ok i’d give it a 3.8/5 i’d say watch it it’s a good experience but it’s not 29.99 good. (i didn’t pay for it i watched it totally legal haha👀 also yes disney+ early access is that expensive. it’s cheaper to go see it in theatres. or free if you know where to look.)

[hgfstreamchats]

We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: yo! Knock Out: Hello there! Jalaperilo: been a while since i dropped by Jalaperilo: omg, I was JUST listening to Sawbones! Knock Out: But how good to have you! Jalaperilo: find the clip where justin looses it when sydnee uses the word 'exquisit' in medical terminology Knock Out: Do you have a link by any chance? Jalaperilo: Sawbones. If you wanna be disguisted by human medical history, its the go to podcast thenightetc: Fun fact, it creeps me the hell out when someone keeps saying my name. Jalaperilo: hahah Knock Out: I love the sound of my own name, but that's just me and anything pertaining to myself.

thenightetc: ...Okay, this IS pretty funny Jalaperilo: I'm with thenight. it annoys me if i hear my name too much Jalaperilo: it means people want things from me thenightetc: Yeah. thenightetc: It's... smarmy. thenightetc: In the worst way. Jalaperilo: yup thenightetc: So what are we watching?  Good movie or movie to mock? Knock Out: Pure mockery! Jalaperilo: julia child?? Knock Out: Oh yes. Jalaperilo: nice thenightetc: Oh, boy! thenightetc: *could do with some mocking after today* thenightetc: Worms aren't that elastic Jalaperilo: birds also dont have quiffs thenightetc: ...Is this... a sequel? Knock Out: No, thankfully. Knock Out: "Yes. But technically speaking, ain't you?" thenightetc: Haha, did they give the t-rex herbivore teeth? Jalaperilo: true Jalaperilo: did they come from dinosaurs or just pteradons? Knock Out: Oh, pterosaurs aren't dinosaurs. Breakdown is adamant on that one. Jalaperilo: pteranodon* Jalaperilo: i know Jalaperilo: i didt know if birds came from dinosaurs or just pteranodons Knock Out: That's another thing this movie likes to drive home. Some organics eat meat and that's terrible. thenightetc: Only if the meat has a face!  Which, uh, in this movie apparently it does, going by the worm and the fish. Knock Out: Oh! They came from dinosaurs, apparently. thenightetc: oh my god thenightetc: What--what's in that stuff Knock Out: Nothing good. Jalaperilo: if only it was that easy to make Grimlock docile lol Knock Out: If someone did that to Grimlock, I'm fairly sure it would constitute a crime. thenightetc: Ahhhh, so it's okay to eat meat that somebody ELSE killed. Knock Out: But not okay to be a massive animal and step on things by accident. Jalaperilo: people need to remember that its ok to decide to not eat meat, but it WAS the reason we evolved to be so cognizent as a species Jalaperilo: no its not Knock Out: Smart enough to make up their own minds, but not smart enough to know what lunch is. Knock Out: Or what children are. thenightetc: This, uh, seems very morally dubious. thenightetc: Just go ahead and create some people because some kids want to meet them Knock Out: Why create some people when you can kidnap them? thenightetc: Wellllll, they were just animals before.  He made them INTO people. Zephra85: OMG I saw the description on the tumblr post and and immedietely knew Zephra85: 'OMG WE'RE BACK' Zephra85: Also hi everyone! Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, Zephra human! thenightetc: Hi! Jalaperilo: yo yo Zephra85: I was obsessed with this movie a sa child thenightetc: That seems like an incredibly extra way to make a sandwich Zephra85: go big or go home thenightetc: Oh, yeah, just stick your hand right in his mouth.  It's safe! Jalaperilo: I had never heard of this until like 20 minutes ago Knock Out: Smart enough to handle this, remember. thenightetc: Honestly, he's lucky he didn't just drive straight into the river... ocean? Lusey: -peeks in- Knock Out: Hello there! Zephra85: Yo Lusey: hello! this movie is so dumb I love it Zephra85: The 90's had a lot of scenes with kids handling construction cranes Lusey: he's not even a t-rex thenightetc: EXHIBIT?! Jalaperilo: there she is! thenightetc: exCUSE me? Lusey: they gonna kill and stuff 'em Zephra85: Yes because this is clearly less conspicuous Lusey: "hey babe" I wish I had this kid's confidence wtf thenightetc: wtf indeed Jalaperilo: what was it about the 80's and 90's where it was a streetwise orphan boy and the red head up town girl? Zephra85: objectively this movie is probably bad but I have so much love and nostalgia for it idgaf thenightetc: Jesus christ, that place is huge.  They must be freakin millionaires Lusey: yup Lusey: but yeah this movie sucks but the last villain scene is spooky Zephra85: oh god seriously Lusey: wont say why or how but Lusey: hoo boy Lusey: it made up for so much Zephra85: it's so subtle but holy *** it's wild at the same time thenightetc: oh yeah, nobody'lll notice THAT Zephra85: things like this can only happen in New York 'cause they're so jadded Knock Out: Eugh. thenightetc: oh my god thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: way too young to be a debutante Zephra85: they got things to do and places to go they can't let bs like dinosaurs or aliens get in their way Lusey: what's that parent's problem Knock Out: You should wish for less rats in the subway, little human. Lusey: that child is like 5 and you ruined her life Zephra85: parenting at its finest Zephra85: Having fun with human tech and connections, Knock Out? Knock Out: Endless fun. Knock Out: Hmm, is the picture quality suffering too much? Lusey: see wtf lady Lusey: let her believe thenightetc: Nah, it's fine thenightetc: oh nO Lusey: that's right Lusey: musical thenightetc: I wasn't prepared thenightetc: "things to chew"  kinda sounds like he wants to eat everyone Knock Out: Killing spree ending, just once! Zephra85: (jams out 'cause f*** it all she loves this song) thenightetc: Well, there WAS Little Shop of Horrors. Knock Out: Hmm, true. Knock Out: SMART. ENOUGH. TO HANDLE THIS. thenightetc: ...And there he goes explicitly saying he wants to eat a human Lusey: I think he's implying they'd be gross. but still haha Lusey: seriously who'd run away from TALKING dinosaurs thenightetc: "that's the guy who was foreshadowed!" Jalaperilo: bring back julia child Jalaperilo: lost my green Lusey: I think I gotta head out actually. connection is shot on my end. but enjoy bad dinos Knock Out: An attempt will be made. Have a good night! Zephra85: Bye! Jalaperilo: I'm heading out as well. Its 2am here and I have to be up at 9 thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Goodnight! Jalaperilo: nighty night Night! Zephra85: 'Nigh! Zephra85: *night Zephra85: man that little girl and her mom get around FAST Zephra85: also the mom's recovered rather well from her freak out before Knock Out: Scrap. So close. thenightetc: "Keep coming or maybe stay away" thenightetc: Dontgonearthe Castle thenightetc: No, idiot, they just left because they're adults and didn't feel like beating up a twelve-year-old thenightetc: Hahahahha thenightetc: Crushing their stupid dreams thenightetc: Is he literally the devil Knock Out: This is normal. thenightetc: Oh, totally Zephra85: not suspecious at all nope thenightetc: Why did SHE sign it Knock Out: "Naughty boys delight" Zephra85: Bah looks like I gotta ditch too, the bf wants the good laptop thenightetc: Pffff, minors can't sign contracts. thenightetc: Though, I guess he's the devil, so Zephra85: 'Night everybody! Thanks for the stream, Knock Out! Knock Out: Goodnight! Glad you could pop in! Zephra85: Oh, and since Breakdown never checks his tumblr anymore, can you tell him happy birthday for me? Knock Out: Will do! Zephra85: Alrighty I'm gone ENJOY CREEPY CIRCUS DINOSAURS GUYS Knock Out: Looks like it's just you and me, night human. thenightetc: I guess that guy's actions make a little more sense in light of the news that he's the devil's brother. Knock Out: This one seems slightly more invested in whether dinosaurs live or die. Knock Out: If only from a business perspective. thenightetc: This got creepy fast, though Knock Out: What disturbs me is that they don't seem willing or able to just grab the children and run. Knock Out: Wasn't that literally the point of A Clockwork Orange? thenightetc: Yes, I mean, maybe they're too squeamish for fresh meat now, but... thenightetc: Seems like they could also grab the contract and destroy it. Knock Out: They're barely intelligent enough to function and physically incapable of defying rules. What could possibly go wrong? thenightetc: Nothing, clearly. Knock Out: I can see why the "legitimate circus" fired him. thenightetc: "Evil" Knock Out: Nice of him to let them stick around for pancakes, though. thenightetc: "oh no, consequences!" Knock Out: "And that's terrible for some reason." thenightetc: Oh, so he IS using some real demons.  I was going to say. Knock Out: They can't seem to decide whether he's using real demons or if the fact that he isn't using real demons is bad. thenightetc: I guess it's a mix? Knock Out: Apparently. thenightetc: Real demons, and poor saps who were dumb enough to sign contracts with Literally The Devil. thenightetc: Not reassuring! Knock Out: Now see, this would have made more sense with that whole deleted chunk about a crow pecking out his eye. thenightetc: Why is everyone freaking out and trying to run, though?  It's clearly a show. Knock Out: The humans in this movie have proved to be overexcitable. thenightetc: Aw, c'mon, what would eating this guy ruin. thenightetc: What if he just ate his arm or something; he can live without that. Knock Out: Just bite off his shins. thenightetc: Little bit off the top. Knock Out: He'll never miss it. thenightetc: And neither will anyone else. Nickel: Ooh. Not a bad lookin' ship, there. Knock Out: Such a waste of a good ship. thenightetc: Why this Knock Out: You are infants. Nickel: õ-õ Nickel: ô_ô Knock Out: Spoiler alert: We never learn what the surprise was. thenightetc: ô_ô indeed. Nickel: I'm not sure I want to... Knock Out: Why didn't he do this ages ago and get a job at a circus where his act will actually fit in? thenightetc: Who knows? thenightetc: ...Did HE not have a magical contract? thenightetc: WELL then. Nickel: Well, now I know the humans have their own version of scraplets... Knock Out: Julia Child, you ruined everything. Stop talking. thenightetc: Something about "reveal the miracle of yourselves" doesn't sound right. Nickel: KID. GET BACK BEHIND THE ROPES. THEYRE THERE FER A REASON Knock Out: Dear Unicron. thenightetc: ... Nickel: what blatant disregard fa boundaries. Knock Out: Crowd a room with children and teach them to keep secrets from their parents. Knock Out: Without ever changing outfits. Nickel: Who took all of those pictures. thenightetc: The devil's brother? Knock Out: The old man on the ship. The families don't know about them. thenightetc: That was a trip from start to finish. Nickel: I'd apologize fa comin in so late, but I feel like I really dodged a bullet, there. Knock Out: You have no idea. Knock Out: Why couldn't we have had this version of the song? Nickel: they had ta save tha best bit fa last, I suppose? Knock Out: Point. Nickel: I know I just got here, but I needa run a quick errand. Are ya endin' things here, Doc? or do ya have more plans? Knock Out: I think we'll wrap it up here for tonight. Patient reports beckon, sadly. Nickel: Lord almighty, I feel ya. thenightetc: Awww.  Well, it was fun!  Thanks for the stream. :) Knock Out: Thank you for the commentary! Nickel: Thanks indeed. (-w-) Knock Out: Good night, everyone! thenightetc: Goodnight!

[whitebear-ofthe-watertribe]

Me: is it silly to watch kimi no na wa twice in one day?

Me @ Me: wellllll you technically havent seen the english dub so really it would be like watching an entirely new movie right?

Me: my gosh that is so true, i just love it when im logical good job me