#....sadly the older i get the more I relate to it since I dont see family lol

[candyunicornsateme]

Kenny and Kyle spending more time together during the holidays. Kenny doing things with Kyle related to Hanukkah... top tier. Iconic. The meaningful bonding... Kenny spending Christmas or holidays with Kyle is just classic K2 fuel. Because it’s different for them than others, in a way, you know?

[kiame-sama]

Dragon headvanon guy here again because a few more dropped into my head (also sorry for the typos, I'm not used to my phones big keyboard yet xD also 100% relate to you on the plushies, I have a big collection on my.own and love them with all my heart)

1. Most if not all Creatures love to be pet, it's common to see children & sometimes young teens being pet by their parents, older siblings or close friends. The older they fet the less likely they get petted tho, older Fae's and long lived Creatures tho remember that Humans would pet anyone who allowed it with great joy.

2. We know that Humans are seen as Peackeepers (or Beast Tamers) but I like to headcanon that they are also a symbol of Loyalty in many Kingdoms. Some older Creatures, like Lilia even remember Humans going through great dangers or sacrificing themself for their Pack.

An old Rumor has it that one of the Great Seven was actually once pack bounded with a human who sacrificed themself for them. (It would be an intresting idea if it was Scar and after he died many mistook the Human Sacrificing themself for him as him killing them & eating them. But you guys can go wild with this one)

3. Angry humans were a raresight to see and most only learned how dangerous humans could be once a Creature attacked a child and had to be send to a hospital after the Parent of said child got their revenge. It's also at that point that many learned how dangerous a human bite can be thanks to the bacteria in their mouth (that information sadly got lost to time though)

4. This is the last one for now, promise xD A lot of Kingdoms who were safe for humans, would have human daycares where they would watch over the Creatures kids. It was something unheard of since a lot of Creatures dont trust their young and rather weak children around others they dont know (and sometimes even close friends & family couldn't get close to the child without nearly being mauled.)

But it was a bit sucess and since it was free, low income familys would adly send their kids there to get food and have a chance at making friends. Some daycares even allowed sleepovers for Creatures who worked during the night, kids who were night active or those who weren't picked up because their parents worked late.

Sadly after humans went extinct these establishments were shutdown.

Ok one last one, this one is for the Fleur City; It's belived that humans created the Bell as a gift to the Rightous Judge who them upon getting this gift enchanted the Bell to ring in a specific tune when a human entred Fleur City.

Legends say that once the last human in Fleur City died and they went extinct as last that the Bell rung in such a sorrowfull way with the Rightous Judges cries that the spirit of the last Human in Fleur Ciry granted him a last gift. The Firelotus, so that any Magical Creature who dares to harm an Innocent Creature will be punished by humanitys judgment.

(No worries about the typos, I'm pretty bad about it too)

I'm down for all of these actually. Absolutely love how some canon things can so easily fall into place with just a little adjustment and work so wonderfully in an AU all its own.

I can see almost all of them wanting to be pet and of course hoping the soft human will pet them. Rook's already been pet by those little Human hands and he is already hooked. I could absolutely see Jack and Ruggie going nuts for petting. Lilia's already made it clear that group grooming is common so petting would likely be too. Maybe that's the Human's way of returning the grooming behavior to make Lilia sleep? Lilia has already petted Grim.

The last Human Lilia met was the surrogate mother of a young fox fae child and he will be forever haunted by how injured she was and still standing, unsure how long she must have fought to keep her young safe. Lilia had arrived near the end of the poor Human's desperate battle, stepping in himself but it was quite too late for the Human mother. He took in the child and raised them himself in Briar Valley, Silver is not the only child the old fae has taken under his wing. Lilia knows the sheer drive humans have to protect those they truly love because he saw it firsthand and he knows better than to mess with little Grim regardless of how much fun it would be. No need to upset the Human.

Humans were quite good at taking care of others young and many had a natural proclivity to protect infants regardless of what species it was. Humans aren't really all too threatening, so many mothers of the more protective species didn't feel that threat to themselves or their young like they did with other species or even their own family. Many are quite manageable as children and almost harmless, meaning the soft Humans could take care of them with no problem.

To make a world of magical creatures tremble in fear is a mighty feat and one only the fire lotus could achieve. After all, so many looked down on humans for their lack of magic, why not suffer the same fate for those who brought Humanity to heel?

[sweetbydarkness]

I hated this but i'll post It anyway

Siblings

Mammon, satan, fem!MC, all platonic, probably with a Lot of errors and very ooc, i didn't know How i would write this.

It's been a while since i got here in the Devildom and started living with the brothers, and It serem that they've gotten a liking for me. Which is good, because i've gotten a liking for them too, and that helps after all that passed. But i can't say exactly how they feel towards me, since im way younger than them.

When Diavolo made the list of possible human students he mistook my age for somebody older, and when Lucifer choose the papers he let that slide, so the second exchenge student is a 15 year old girl. All of the demons were extremely surprised at that news and they were a little uncorfortable with my presente for some time, but eventualy everybody got accustomed, and even started to take more of a protective atitude, which took a longe time until i proved It wasn't necessary. Now i just lived in HoL trying not to get arrested after being part of their "adventures".

"Hey mc!"

"Oh, hey Mammon"

"Where are you going?"

"Satan's room, i wanted to see If he got the book i wanted. Wanna come?"

"Yeah sure"

And we walked away. Earlier that month i asked Satan to buy i book for me with the money Diavolo gave me as a present, It was the last book of a series of cursed books that i was super interested and i really wanted to finish, like REALLY wanted.

When we got to satan's room i knocked on his door with a little rhythm and waited him to open his door.

"Who's there- oh hey mc, and Mammon"

"Hi satan"

"Heya"

"What do you need?"

"Remember the book i asked you to find for me? Did you get It?"

"Oh... Sorry, but while i was looking for It i found out that is a extremely rare book, and all the copies have owners"

"Are you serious?"

"Sadly yes."

"Oh...okay then"

"Hey! Dont worry we'll find a copy for you!"

"But satan Just said that all the copies have owners"

"Are you doubting your big brother?"

"Yes of cour- wait, my what?"

"Her what Mammon?"

"Ah.. um... Hmm-"

"Mammon, i know all of us have gotten a affection for her but you dont know If she see us that way too, pra If she is confortable with us referring ourselfs as hers 'big brothers' "

"I wasn't referring myself as her big brother It was Just a way of-"

"I dont mind"

"Ahn?"

"You dont?"

"No i dont! I even find a bit comforting really"

"Ah- see Satan! She dosen't mind!"

"Well, in that case that's good, but even still you should be more careful, stupid mammon"

"Just... This isn't a Lilith related thing, right?"

"..."

Mammon put his hands on my shoulders, in a way to Reinforce what he was going to say

"It is not. You're note Lilith and we dont see you that way. That...." He seemed to consider If he would really say what he was thinking "what i Said wasn't in a bit related to that, dont you worry."

Satan sighed "i know i can't say much but i can say that nobody here see you that way. You're you, and that's enough."

Mammon let go of my shoulder after giving It a reassuring squeeze

"How about we alredy go looking for It hm? Maybe that Will lift your mood!"

"With what money hm?"

"Oh! Erm..... "

"I Will Go with you both, you would need my help to find It anyway."

"Thanks Satan"

"No problem Darling"

"Okay, lets Go!"

And the tree of us left to search for the book. Ata that moment i knew i had another family, one that loved me Just as much i loved them. That made me happy, i wasn't alone, not anymore.

[idyllic-affections]

So quick question, ik your currently in the middle of the Xianzhou Arc but how much do you know about the High Cloud Quintet? Im pretty sure it’s not really mentioned that much in the story quest but i wanna know how much you know about since i have one BIG BRAINROT OF PLATONIC HSR CHARCTER AND READER BREWING that i wanna share but i dont wanna spoil you

All of the vidyadhara are aware they are going to forget everything but they seem to fine with it. They all know when they’re going to be self reincarnate, so im guessing they have some time to wrap up some loose ends. Also about the vidyadhara writing diaries thing, that is actually canon, as some vidyadhara leave diaries, information or heirlooms for their incarnation to inherit. However, many newly reborn vidyadhara lack emotion and are unable to identify sentimental items belonging to their past selves, so any discarded items are resold as trinkets. Which is honestly sad but a good source of angst if you know what i mean ;)

But yeah they cant pass down their lineage which fun fact, caused one of the Xianzhou ship, the Xianzhou Fanghu to cut off most of their communication and trade with the other Xianzhou ships (the reason was they are trying to recuparate from the Third Abundance War)The Xianzhou Fanghu is mostly governed by the Vidyadhara and with how they are trying so hard to avoid their population to decrease (bc again if a viydhara dies, it becomes a very serious issue) i have a feeling it is definitely going to be part of the story quest in the unknown future. (How do i know all this? The HSR wiki and my incessant need to research everything and anything relating to my brainrot :) )

Ok so i sadly havent played the fontaine quest yet (i have no time to play genshin impact and honkai star rail together. So i have to sacrifice one of them T.T) but what do you think of ex fatui agent reader adopting Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet? Am i saying that the reader should adopt anyone who are traumatized by the fatui? Yes. Am i trying to make the “Traumatized by the Fatui support club” bigger? Also yes. Idk i just want some hurt/comfort

Why do i feel like Qingque would run the second she sees her older sibling? Like she’s just slacking off but then her older sibling gets around the corner and she’s just gone. No evidence that she was ever there as she is NOT going to deal with their scolding today. She is immensely scared of their scolding and anytime they come back, she would be uncharacteristically doing her work. Basically Sayu and Kano Nana (a shrine maiden who is tasked to look after our sleepy ninja) vibes

- 🐱 Anon

hi lovely! i know like... nothing at all, but nonetheless, please do send me your brainrot and i'll get around to replying once i know more <33 if you put a spoiler warning at the top, i'll know to scroll past. plus i don't really take spoilers too seriously so don't worry too much!

THEY'RE AWARE?!?! THEY KNOW WHEN IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN????? i am INSANE about them omgwmevskhnevbf ALSO I LOVE THAT I LOVE BEING RIGHT /lh but ohkhngkhngbg...... that idea is so fascinating to me. it doesn't have to be sentimental, i think. it could just be... information. which i imagine if it were somehow useful to the newer incarnation, they'd be more inclined to keep what was left behind. but at the same time i don't think it matters if they keep it, because i feel like... there's a sort of distinction between incarnations. i feel like it would be wrong to consider them the same people. i imagine there are probably some vidyadharas who lived vastly different lives throughout incarnations. so it feels like there should be a certain amount of... distance and separation between incarnations. so perhaps rather than seeing it as "my past self left something behind for me," it would be more like "my predecessor left something behind for me" because in a way, incarnations could be seen as related, but maybe they shouldn't be seen as the same as one another?!?!?! IDK I'M RAMBLING SORRY

as for lyney lynette and freminet--were they traumatized by the fatui, though? i'm not sure that they were. i don't think they're evil, but i also don't think they were victims of the fatui necessarily and i think they work voluntarily for arlecchino. i think their intentions are good. i do not think the fontaine siblings are evil... but, ex-fatui agent [name] knows better than anyone that the fatui is downright evil and wicked. dottore's affairs generally do not concern the knave, so i think they would be less guarded around the siblings despite knowing that they are fatui, because what are they going to do? tell arlecchino? it doesn't concern her. i also believe [name] would warn them. "i know you all have good intentions," they'd say, "and you want to help, but the fatui does not help. they have never helped. a shitty person can do one good thing, but that does not make them any less of a shitty person." which is in reference to the good thing arle did. didn't she like... murder a creepy old guy?? yeah. i think. anyway. idk if that's canon or not but. [name] wants to help them, they do, but they are not willing to put their family (collei & scara) in danger for some random kids. what those three do is up to them. [name] knows the most vile sides of the fatui very personally. their advice, when it comes to the fatui, is not to be taken lightly. if the fontaine siblings want to run away? great. [name] will help. they've evaded the doctor for years; if he can't catch them, what makes the knave think she could find the siblings if they were helping them hide? she couldn't. simple. but if the siblings don't want to run? fine by [name], but that will be the last time they speak to those three, no matter how much they plead and promise not to utter a word about the fact that they met a highly-coveted fatui escapee.

[name]'s family comes first.

but please note that i haven't done the quest either! so idk how in-character that is for the fontaine siblings.

ANYWAY AIDHSKGJG SHE TOTALLY WOULD. she may have been slacking off before but you BET she is up on her feet and running for her life the second she hears that her big sibling is back.

[enn0s]

Hey theree,

a wild one has appeared again D. 🦝__ 💨

Life slows down for no one sadly but sometimes a busy life is a good distraction. Hopefully it’s not bringing you any unnecessary stress. Ahhhh that’s always nice to hear. I actually was going through your art tag a couple weeks back and realized you were one of my favorite artist when I was using the app more. Glad to still know your phalanges and artistic drive is going strong. I draw but I wouldn’t consider myself an “artist” artist. I’ve been having art block on and off for years, but I will admit I have been picking up the pencil and paper here and there, but I’m not satisfied still with how often I do it.

Do you have any goals when it comes to your creative path? Like maybe one day make it a career or is it just a hobby for right now?

Ooooh~ yes, especially! On the No Mercy EP. I have to say all those songs are favorites. But First sensibility, also got a good amount of favorites 1004 definitely, Check On and Shady lady lady lady~. I looove their rnb vibe too and I don’t like a lot of K-pop music with rnb influence. It’s just the ear feel isn’t always the same lol idk maybe it just me.

Omg…speaking of I officially have a group an actually like to the point I’m watching their videos and actually being invested. I haven’t been like this since B.A.P really honestly haaa. I will say I’m felling cringe about it…but I know I shouldn’t :,^]. But euuuu liking someone to this extent? Brother euuuu. But it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

They’re called EVNNE and I’m going to see them in August. If you’ve heard of them do you have members you like or songs? I wonder if we’d like the same peeps, if one of them starts with a H…we may scrapp 👊💥

Nahh I’m playinng around lol they deserve all the love and just shows you have good taste to me.

Ahhhh that sounds like fun. I enjoyed the BYG concert, but I feel like the fans weren’t that hype for me but still! Great vibes all the way. Well lol I’m going to another one so thank you for wishing it into existence 🙇‍♀️

And don’t worry about pronouns I’m not a stickler about it but quite nice of you to ask. But to the MBLAQ throwbacks. OH YEEEAH OH YEEEAH OH YEEEAH YEAH YEAH! Vibe and continue getting that dopamine.

Until next time… D. RACC OUT! 🚪🦝 _💨💨

P.S.

I always enjoy these convos as well, especially, it’s kind of not related, when I find people who watch or watched early 2000s - 2010s anime’s. The Nostalgia is always nice. And to share it with someone? Double win.

Reminds me when I wore my Powerline Concert Tee from The Goofy Movie. And the store clerk started singing Eye to Eye. But lol fr this time, I wish you well until the next we speak again.

Oh! And also if you had to choose an animal what would you identify with?

Toodles and 🍜✨~

hello friend i was just thinking about you the other day! hoping you were doing well on your side of the world lol.

thats an incredible compliment for me to hear about my older art, i appreciate you so much 🤧 in my mind, if u try to make art then you're an artist lol im proud of you for picking up the pencil again! its hard to start up again after a long time, your hand doesnt move quite the way it used to and you gotta get used to your speed and your style again like meeting an old friend after a long long time...awkward at first but then you fall right back into it and its different but still good. i definitely had a dip in creative drive for a solid...5 years? idk it comes and goes and i've learned to just let it. no shame in a rest period!

I actually went to school originally to pursue art and design but i discovered very early on that i dont respond well to being told what to create so an art-focused job was just never gonna be something i was going to succeed in without burning out completely.

These days i just have my tiny 10 dollar sketchbook and i've been pulling out the colored pencils and crayons and glue and scrap paper and just. having fun... and it's really kickstarted that urge to create bigger, more polished pieces again. i think my goal is just to keep that love close to me and not lose it again in the hustle and bustle of being alive.

i gave evnne a listen and i like the sound of the ride or die EP! even the b-sides are solid, theyve got great voices, they got a little sauce right out the gate and i see a lot of potential for them! im a long haul kind of person for bands so ill keep checking in on them for sure, they got good things comin for them. They look soooo young to me lmao i just wanna get those kids some sandwiches and a nap 🥲 you can tell theyre working their asses off.

I wonder if you had to make a list, what your top 10 songs (doesnt have to be kpop) would be~ im always looking for new music and i love hearing the songs people love and why they hit the way they do.

Bro powerline tho!!!! what a fucking legend!!! a goofy movie and shrek are unironically masterclasses of cinema to me lol, i had goofy movie on VHS and id play that thing to death, its just so good and eye to eye is a banger. Taste.

Wishing you peaceful nights and delicious foods till the next time we talk friend!

[gothmods]

tmi misc. sex thoughts

I own 4 dildos now. Really speedrunning this whole newly awakened sexuality thing.

No regrets though as i think i bought in a helpful sequence.

The most recent dongs are silicone, previous to that was a glass wand and a glass dildo (yknow the wand with a heart on the end. Ive been seeing it since like 2015 i kind of had to get it because i am afterall a sucker for cute things). Silicone feels nicer than glass but is sooo slippery and harder to insert (not helped by the angles for anal being so fucking awkward) so to me anyway glass is easier for starting out and also easier to keep clean than silicone which picks up every bit of dust and lint. Ive gotta get some storage bags...

I think silicone is a bit easier though working solo since its harder to get the right angles, once you get it in anyway. Glass would be nice i think with a partner because man i cannot fucking see what im doing.

Suction cup on the wall next to the bed was fun but hard to figure out the placement since once again i cannot see back there. But insertion that way was really hard because of the slippery and bendy.

Very good once i got going though. Still hard to coordinate once you add a wand vibe to the mix but ill figure things out eventually i think.

I need a sex butler. Like a butler for sex straight up older guy with a moustache and a tux who says "and how is the dildo placement working for sir" and who can hold my vibrator for me n stuff. Not even in a horny way (mostly).

Im having fun though. Idk what else there is to say on it all other than its fun. Idk if ive orgasmed or anything, like that eludes me kinda and i really dont know how people pinpoint it so exactly.

Also ive kinda just been watching f/m porn.... gay porn i struggle with i think in part because i feel very alienated by masculine expressions of anything and that extends to sexuality. But also the body diversity kind of sucks. And also i think its a bit down to how i specifically engage with porn, i feel like i get the most out of it when it shows experiences i would enjoy or can physically relate to... which sadly i have failed at being a penis empath my brain just does not connect it back to me. Its not like i see myself as the actors its much more of a physical/sensory thing. There are vids ive enjoyed but finding them is a pain. Bara manga is great but less options and no audio.

The f/m thing hasnt been triggering at all though which i think is down to watching stuff that is dissimilar to what i would seek out to self harm. It is harder to find content thats just anal with no vaginal though :( kills the mood a bit.

This may be the last long post i write like this or at least the last where i sound like an anthropologist of masturbation. Heres hoping anyway.

[soft-boi-eli]

OMG CAN I REQUEST CC!PHILZA INTRODUCING HIS ADOPTED EMO CHILD TO THE REST OF THE SBI/DSMP

Gender neutral pls they/them

Of course! I've been having a bit of shortages on ideas. So this is so fucking welcomed.

Anyways

Father CC!Philza x Emo! Reader

Pronouns:they/them

Summary:your old parents gave you up as a teen, overflowing you with emotions, causing depression, mood swings, and quite a bit of anxiety. When you got adopted by a man and a lady,both seemingly very kind and understanding. You felt happy. They didnt expect the sleepy bois to come and visit so soon.

Tw:anxiety attacks, mention of depression, loving clothes (not a tw but damn I sometimes miss my old fashion sense.), mention of trauma, swearing!

A huge new family

They dont blame their biological family. They knew that they were being overwhelming. Slowly shifting into a state of mind where fluffy black and colored hair was their favorite. Their outfits became more extravagant and their makeup took a turn for the darker. But they didnt have to put them up for adoption.

About a year in and out of foster families, a few months in an orphanage, then one more foster family. It was official. They were the new child of philza.

Your life got better. Both of them accepted your choice of clothes and makeup, even supported it!

They helped with everything in the first few weeks. Giving you space, letting you know that they were there. But you nor phil knew that three boys were heading down to visit.

So when you answered the door to see three faces demanding philza minecraft and one just looking awkward. They were also changing about him coming and join them you felt panic flood through you. Slamming the door on their face you held near your chest.

Your uneven breathing was heard by your father and he was quick to scoop you away from the door and have kristin answer the door.

He was sitting next to you hand lightly rubbing your shoulder and he guided you through the panic attack. "That's it. In through the nose. Hold it for a few second. Breathe out." His voice was calm.

It took less time to calm you down then you've ever had. "There ya go mate. Just keep breathing." He kept coaching you through you panic attack.

Kristen let the four in with their promise of keeping calm. Your shaking form brought major concern to the two older ones and confusion to the two younger ones. "(Y/n) I want to introduce you to the four behind us. Technoblade, wilbur, tommy, and tubbo. They are really good friends of mine." Nodding lightly you sat there, not wanting to turn because if you did the panic would strike harder. Remembering what happened before you parents left you.

A huge group of people basically shunned your for your choices and didnt want to take you in because 'trash like you' wasnt accepted in the family. But these two were different. Supporting you with your choices. How different were their friends? "Hey I think you shirt is cool! Who's on it?" A slightly hyper voice broke through the silence. " black veil brides." It was quite but a start. "Cool! So their a band right? What kind of songs?" The brown haired teen was trying to communicate with you. "Uhm. Rock." It had started small but you opened up to the teens. They were about you age and they didnt bash what you decided to like. The two older ones hung out with phil and Kristen. You three hung out in your room which was kind of softer then your appearance. It was to reflect a bit deeper into you. Bookshelves, a desk, reading corner, and a bed. Not fully knowing what to put in there.

But you, tommy, and tubbo were almost the best of friends when they had to leave. Techno and Wilbur it took a bit. After the two teens left you had came out of your room, no makeup, hair had all products removed, and your clothes changed from Jean's and a black veiled brides shirt to a black tee shirt, grey sweat pants, with a book in hand.

Before sleeping you just chilled in the living room, reading while basking in the presence of your adoptive parents. You did not expect wilbur and techno to still be there.

Plopping down on the couch next to phil you opened your book and tried to zone out, to get engulfed into the book. Nope. Two sets of eyes just watching you.

"So you like poems?" The book you were reading was a massive collection of poems. Looking up to the two on the couch you nodded lightly.

Looking back down you felt nervous. "Small talk is awkward." Looking up to the brown haired guy with an American accent you nodded. "Same." Once more you looked down at your book. You already had issues focusing but you tried to work though it. "What kind of poems are you favorite?" You sat there for a second. Trying to think of something that catches your attention.

"Mainly ones about trauma. It reminds me I'm not the only one in the word that went through something I have. It just makes it more interesting when I can relate." It was true. Sometimes the poems you liked ring a little to close to home.

"Good choice. It does really intrigue the audience when they can relate." Nodding you closed your book. "Especially when you relate. It's a must for me. Other wise I get turned away from it and just cant focus. But if I like it then I am just dead set on that poem."

You and techno bonded over poems and wilbur brought up some songs. "So what is you song preference?" "Hollywood undead, black veil brides, other then that its random. If I like the song it's in my playlist." With no other preferences with music other then it had to sound good to you there was honestly no judgement for other people's taste in music. There were little treasures from almost all genres.

For a while you talked about poems and songs. It honestly helped you feel safer with them. They didnt care about what you found intriguing. Or why. You even went on a rant and there was no care. They just listened.

But sadly they had to leave. Bit they promised that they would visit more. They were like the brothers you never had.

"So I see that you were able to talk to all of them." Nodding to your father figure you smiled "they were nice. Honestly. I cant wait to see them again."

He found joy in you wanting to hang out with his friends/technically children too.

Now meet the rest of the dream smp. It was very fast. Meeting almost all of them at the same time.

Phil was streaming and no one except for the sleepy bois knew about you. So you walked into his stream, book in hand and sat on the couch behind his set up. You liked having another person on the room. You just hated being alone. It gave you really bad thoughts. "Who's that behind you phil?" A random donation read out. Phil looking behind himself saw you in the corner reading and you normally did. "Ah that's my child. They like to have company. So sometimes they come in here to read." "Wait you have a child?! Since when?" The voice made you jump. Your book fell out of your hands and you looked at your father's screen. A green man with a weird white blob for a skin on minecraft. "Yeah. I took a break to pick them up from the orphanage." All hell broke loose. You ran while phil answered questions. You were not dealing with that. No way. Nuh uh. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not today satan. It took phil bribing you with a trip to hot topic to get you to come back in. I mean hey you get to score a few shirts and hats. Might as well.

Meeting the server wasbt too bad. But the questions were weird. You didnt answer the ones you were uncomfortable about and they didnt care. Your boundries were up. And when tommy, tubbo, willbur, and techno revealed they knew of you they were yelled at. It was funny. Watching people say they should of said something. But it resulted in alot of compliments and Phil's chat loving you.

You were now the older sibling of the chat. Why? Cause chat said so.

When you come in from now on the chat is chanting for you. Just "(y/n)!" Over and over.

Your life? Crazy. But it became a bit better after you were living with your new parents. It was heaven.

I'm sorry if its awkward I'm not good at introductions. And I am tis but a sleep deprived human. I need sleep and so do you have a nice day and once more I'm sorry if this isnt up to what you wanted.

[rinnepegger]

hellooo!! im back w another knights x fem!reader :') i really enjoy your writing!! its so good 😭 and i cant get over it , i dont know if this request is allowed so ignore this if it isnt ><, can i request ritsu w an reader whos also a vampire like him? thank you <3

HII and welcome back LOL (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ I feel so honored that you enjoy my writings that much hehe. And thank u for supporting!!! <33 muaks. Hope u enjoy this one as well!!

TW/CW: F!Reader, fluff, not proofread.

Ritsu Sakuma with a Vampire-like Fem!Reader

He's ecstatic beyond words— finally someone that he can relate to! Besides rei lol. He finally won't have to be lugged around like how Mao would do with him, and he can finally sleep around and rest in peace without someone urging him to do his work

If he sees you asleep on the couch in the practice room, or perhaps even on the campus' grass field, he won't waste another second in contemplating whether or not to join you, because you best believe that he will snuggle right up into your arms as you both snooze away peacefully.

Sadly his brief moment of freedom from group practice would be cut short as Tsukasa deploys the other members to look for and drag him back to the studio. Of course the two of you wouldn't give up without a fight: the two of you cling onto each other for dear life and whine out of sadness, lest you get seperated from him.

Eventually the two of you get seperated as Leo picks up his body and throws him over his shoulder, but that still won't stop the two of you from sleeping. Though there's no guarantee it'll be satisfactory.

When night falls, the two of you become more active. The fear that Keito might catch the two of you sneaking off the wherever in the middle of the night only made your sweet escape out of the school even more thrilling. Even vampires have to get their blood pumping one what or another!

You two sneak off to the nearby convenience store to eat sandwiches while seated, chatting away. Occasionally he brings you to some cozy cafe with soft jazz playing in the background. It's hard to believe that Ritsu has money to throw around at times because of how much he just doesn't spend if.

Once you both return to your dorms, it's well around 4a.m. and Wataru was about to do his daily wake up call to the students of Yumenosaki in about 2 to 3 hours, so you better get to sleeping. Not that it'd be that hard of a challenge anyway.

And once the two of you part ways, you fall fast asleep on your comfortable beds. Yet one way or another, you'll find you or the other in the same bed, sleeping together. One spooning the other while you both rest peacefully, undisturbed.

Usually it would be you that is the big spoon, but it's not that rare when the roles are reversed. The way his slender arms snake around your waist as he rests his head in the crook of your neck only brought about ten times the amount of comfort and warmth compared to when you are alone. He also wraps one of his legs around you, so you're practically trapped until he feels kind enough to let you go.

You can't tell me that he hasn't taken a light chomp out of your shoulder to satiate his thirst for blood, just like his older brother. As wrong as it sounds to a regular person, you don't stop him from doing it since you know how it feels as well, and a tiny part of you can't deny the fact that it feels a little good at the same time.

Waking up would be a chore— a repetitive cycle of one wanting to get up as the other pulls them down and pleads an incoherent "5 more... minuutesgz..."

Since you draw all the blinds and curtains in your dorm, you would wake up occasionally and still think that it was early, until you saw the agressive afternoon sun shining through the window into your eyes. That's when panic hits you and you drag Ritsu out of bed, ignoring all his whines and pleas.

You both always carry along comfy jackets and little stuffed toys around to help enhance your sleep around the school campus.

Though you would admit that having such an illness would be detrimental to your career, you can't help but deny the fact that some of the perks it had brought about were much worth the risk (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[diavolosthots]

This got really long so i put it under a cut and I'm totally going backward with this series but i cant help myself. I HAVE to start with my husband. Most of these are my own headcanons but please read the warning.

Warning: some of these are confirmed in lessons/devilgrams. If you dont want spoilers, don't read the ones in red. (Also Note: I remember reading all of these either in the game or on the official wiki page but I could not find all the in-game sources if you asked me to. Still, they are tagged as spoilers.)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾DIAVOLO Life Headcanons☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Diavolo’s dad, the Demon King (whom I Headcanon to be named Daemon. I could write headcanons on that guy too?? Lemme know what you guys want) loved Diavolo’s mom dearly and Diavolo was thus a product of pure love, not necessarily just to have an heir. That’s just a bonus. 

Sadly Diavolo’s mom died in childbirth, leaving only the Demon King and Barbatos to take care of him. 

This caused the King to begin resenting his son and Daemon grew cold. Barbatos was, more often than not, the one who took care of little Diavolo, although Diavolo tried desperately to win his dad’s affections, never truly understanding why his father would hate him. 

Diavolo was a rambunctious child and caused a lot of trouble, much to his father’s dismay, and he found himself in trouble a lot. 

On top of that, Diavolo is also highly emotional and it wasn’t until much later that he learned that tears won’t get him anywhere. Barbatos used to give him sweets and tea every time he cried, which was a lot thanks to his dad.

Although the butler did stop this at some point, that’s definitely where Diavolo’s love for tea came from

Barbatos is definitely, and has always been, someone he confided in, and he found it hard to view him as nothing but a ‘servant’, per his dad. It’s not even that his father hated Barbatos or thought of him as lesser than, he just didn’t like that Diavolo confided more in him than anyone else. 

Diavolo definitely had a rebellious phase as he grew up. The mixture of his absent-father’s non-existent love and the responsibilities put on his shoulders from a very young age got too much for him at some point and let’s just say…. Diavolo had a lot of ‘oopsies’ in his ‘teenage’ years. 

If you know, you know. They are no longer among the living. R.I.P. 

People used Diavolo a lot because of this, though. The lack of care and love at home caused a young Diavolo to be naive and trust too easily, getting hurt in the process

Which is why Barbatos now has a torture chamber for the enemies of Diavolo (or people who just want/use him for the wrong reasons)

When Diavolo didn’t try to escape the castle for some love, he found comfort in art and unbeknownst to both his father and anyone else working at the castle, Barbatos helped him build a mini art gallery up in one of the towers where Diavolo still goes for some relaxation or just to think. 

A lot of people backstabbed him as he grew up and even he himself backstabbed a lot of people as well. At some point he saw the hurt he caused and decided to never lie again, and now he’s always telling the truth, albeit he can beat around the bush a lot, and knows for certain when someone else is lying to him. 

At some point, his father forbade him to treat Barbatos as more than a trusted servant and that pretty much solidified his dislike, not hatred, for his father. 

As he grew up into the man he is now, he started to see his dad as more of an authoritarian ruler that works for his own political gain rather than the well being of everyone. The Devildom was never in shambles, or anything, but one could feel a clear hierarchy and there was definitely tension with the other two realms 

His father was actually the one is (somewhat, if not fully) started the war against heaven (not to be confused with the celestial war that the brothers were part of)

Now, he never hated his father, truly. To a certain extent, he actually understood why his father was the way he was. He lost his beloved wife for a son he had to grow a new relationship with. Diavolo never thought his father hated him, either, but one could tell that their relationship was filled with grief, heartache, and even a sense of regret. 

Diavolo never blamed his father, though, and as he grew older, he took certain aspects of his father’s character into his own: loyalty, ambition, and honesty. 

That’s why his father stepped down, but not fully since Diavolo hasn’t been crowned yet. The Demon King is tired; tired of pushing through the days, and Diavolo understands. 

The situation with his parents is also the reason why Diavolo refuses to settle down so easily. He’s scared of both A.) trusting the wrong people again, like he had many times before, and B.) of having the same fate as his father and mother. 

That and Barbatos is highly protective of him lol Good luck getting past the butler if you want to be with the future King. 

One of the main reasons Diavolo keeps up the naive and himbo attitude is also because he never got to be a kid. His father pushed him straight into royal life once he was old enough to comprehend things. 

This does not mean, though, that Diavolo is actually a himbo. He’s quite intelligent and there’s a reason for everything he does. 

Diavolo doesn’t believe in coincidences and is a firm believer in fate; that everything happens as it should and for a reason (A/N: homie is a determinist and that lowkey makes me happy lol)

That’s why he’s perfectly fine taking his time and doing his thing. He likes to have a certain sense of control, of course, but not to the extent that Lucifer does. He’s cool going with the flow as well. 

Speaking of Lucifer, the reason he views him as a best friend and even family is because Diavolo believes he can relate to the absence of a father that’s supposed to be there no matter what

That and because Lucifer is brutally honest. He doesn’t take Diavolo for granted and he certainly doesn’t want Diavolo around for the riches and fame. Diavolo appreciates that a lot. 

Diavolo gets along with pretty much everyone; he’s very adaptable because he has to be. However, that doesn’t necessarily make him an extrovert. As a matter of fact, he’s actually more of an introvert and likes to keep to himself or with a limited group of close friends

Speaking of friends, Diavolo doesn’t have a lot, if any, outside of the brothers and Barbatos. It’s hard to know who to trust when so many people just want to use him or rob him, even strip him of his title. 

Diavolo is very lonely, as a matter of fact, and he hopes, prays even, that he could find a bond with someone, anyone, like Lucifer shares with his brothers. In a sense, he may even be jealous of the seven. 

Although his life was less than peachy, even if he did have everything anyone could ever wish for, Diavolo craves true emotional connections, which is why he clings to Barbatos and Lucifer. 

This, however, doesn’t mean he is helpless. He’s very much an independent, intelligent, and ambitious man, and he is excited for the future, whatever it may hold. 

[amazingphilza]

maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

no

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

[amuelia]

Got any fun Woose head cannons bouncing around in your head ? :) or about anyone else. you have such neat insight into asoiaf and I love reading it

Hello, thank you that's so flattering! 🥺❤ I'm glad you enjoy my meta posts!

I do have many Woose headcanons :D I am going to try and focus this post more on headcanons that i can somewhat closely support by text, so i'm sorry if i mentioned some of these already!

Since Domeric squired in the Vale under Lord Redfort, i headcanon that Roose' mother was a Redfort as well since that would explain the connection the easiest... The way Roose talks about Lord Redfort doesn't necessarily sound like theyre close or related, but that might just be to keep the information simple for the reader. Either way we will likely find out in Sansa's tWoW Vale plot how that connection came to be, since she will probably interact with relevant characters like Mychel Redfort.

[Domeric] served four years as Lady Dustin's page, and three in the Vale as a squire to Lord Redfort. [...] Redfort said he showed great promise in the lists. - Reek III, aDwD

Roose not only has a son who loves horses, but he himself also has some quotes alluding to him liking to ride and being knowledgable about horses, which makes me hc that Roose is an able rider as well; So Domeric would get it from both sides of the family (explaining why he's such a horse boy). This hc is inspired by analysis from Bran Vras

"...on our way back to the Dreadfort my favorite courser came up lame..." - Reek III, aDwD

"The clans of the northern hills come with him on their shaggy runtish horses. " - The Prince of Winterfell, aDwD

He's likely so pale from all that leeching (since they cause regular blood loss), and would probably have a normal skin color if he didn't do it so often... His quiet voice might also be caused by it (fatigue). I also assume his "unwrinkled" face is at least partially due to him having such an emotionless expression; if he showed an intense emotion (like a very genuine smile) there might be more wrinkles visible. I also don't get the impression his "unwrinkled"/"ageless" face makes him look unnaturally young, since none of the older PoVs (Cat, Jaime) comment on it; He probably just looks like he aged very well.

He is described as having a "hairless body" during the leeching scene, which makes me think he might shave his body hair so the leeches can apply easier (which ive seen recommended online for leech therapy).

Him having dark brown hair is unfortunately still a headcanon, since his hair is not described in the books... But it seems likely to me because it would contrast his pale features and make them stand out more; and if his hair was grey that would have probably been pointed out as a contrast to his unwrinkled face. I'm usually excluding blonde/red hair as a possibility since I assume grrm would have described that explicitly.

He'd probably wear sunglasses frequently in a modern au, his eyes seem sensitive to me because their color is so light (less pigmentation making eyes more sensitive to sunlight)... I also hc him as nearsighted + needing glasses in modern au, though obviously we don't have anything in the text referencing this.

He and Barbrey share a long history, yet we see that she talks negatively about him to Theon... I hc that she probably started having a lower opinion of him due to the way he handled the Domeric situation (or that the situation at least heavily contributed to it); My assumption is that Barbrey quickly suspected Ramsay of murder and hates Ramsay because of that, so if Roose takes Ramsay in as his new heir this would make Barbrey think that he's really callous/emotionless and "does not love/hate/grieve".

"Those leeches that he loves so well sucked all the passions out of him years ago. He does not love, he does not hate, he does not grieve." - The Prince of Winterfell, aDwD

Roose doesn't seem to care when it comes to various cruelties and illegalities (telling Ramsay he will not chide him for his "amusements" and Ramsay just needs to be "more discreet"; and also being guilty of many crimes himself), but due to the long Bolton-Stark animosity i feel he would probably see warging as an abomination and oppose it on "moral" grounds (similar to how he says a kinslayer is "accursed").

He is usually described as clean-shaven; i hc he shaves his beard partially out of vanity, partially because he doesn't want to look like his father... He probably also takes a while to grow a good beard/has weak beard growth. (No textual evidence for any of these statements, just hc; sadly we don't know about any of his family beyond his sons/wives. I also wonder if he was always shaving his beard, or if he had a beard phase when he was younger)

I get the impression he is not that strict a father, and is more someone who tries to get to his kids verbally than through punishment... In both Ramsay's and Domeric's case we see that he gives them advice that they dont much care for, and neither appear to fear disobeying him or arguing with him much.

"He wanted a brother by his side, so he rode up the Weeping Water to seek my bastard out. I forbade it, but Domeric was a man grown and thought that he knew better than his father." - Reek III, aDwD

“It should have been you who threw the feast, to welcome me back,” Ramsay complained, “and it should have been in Barrow Hall, not this pisspot of a castle.” [...] “Is this why you left Lady Dustin and your fat pig wife? So you could come down here and tell me to be quiet?”- Reek III, aDwD

I do also have more "fanfic-like" headcanons, but im shy about posting them since they could easily be deconfirmed in future books :") Of course i try to do them as "in-character" as i can, but in some aspects grrm just hasn't given much info yet.

[cowboyjen68]

Hey jen first off congrats on your new tshirt lol but also, do you know of any lesbians that truly didn’t realize they were gay or different until they were much older? i didnt realize I might be gay until I was 19 and even then, there was SEVERE self doubt cus I was well aware how my abusive father had and continues to completely warp and destroy how I view, trusted (i didnt and still dont) and interacted (i didnt and still dont) with cishetero men. Like I’m scared my sexuality is just a massive trauma response. Growing up I had a lot of what i thought were crushes on guys but a lot of times the ‘crushes’ were just me wanting to get their attention and be their friend. I did have a few “romantic” ones but again those men were completely unattainable and theres was no chance we’d ever date or that they’d ever pay me any attention and i...................took comfort in that. it wasnt until I was 19 that i had my first crush (or first that i was aware of) on a girl, but she was straight. and It wasnt until I got my first crush on another lesbian, at age 22 (im 26 now) that it truly smacked me in the face - I was literally losing sleep over this girl, I could barely hold a conversation without blushing and stuttering, hearing her voice or seeing her walk by made my stomach perform a simone biles floor routine, but when she smiled at or complimented me id be smiling goofily for the rest of the day. Then i found out she had a gf and my heart dropped to my ass and while I hate to admit it, i felt the petty jealousy and envy bubbling up to the surface (but i absolutely never acted on it cus i knew the feelings were irrational and silly). Like I felt like I was back in middle school and like.......a guy has NEVER brought that intensity of emotions out of me. The first time I slept with a woman I loved it, and continue to love it and i know this paragraph is painting a massive picture of “yes you fucking idiot you are gay” but when i talk to or hear stories from other lesbians, I can never relate or align to that feeling of “knowing I was different since I was young”, I had 0 clue up until my 20s. that paired with my upbringing, plus smaller traumas here and there also centered around men..........like im truly scared that the day i fully heal is the day I’m gonna realize my sexuality is a lie. and its a big reason (besides mental and emotional instability) i avoid relationships even though i want one cus i dont wanna put another girl through hell just cus i cant figure MY shit out you know? Like this sounds so childish but I wish there was like an entrance exam or something that you can take and itll give you some type of definitive answer like: “yes youre gay”, “nope straight”, “maybe? need more info/experience” or “pls for the love of god go to therapy”

Ok.. first. yeah.. therapy can be great.. even for healthy, well adjusted people.

BUT:

Once of the reasons I didn't know "what" i was is because I had no exposure to role models that looked like me. No one to show me what life might look like besides what I saw with my mom and dad, the neighbors mom and dad, my uncles and aunts.. the man woman kids model. I had no words or word for my experience and not really any idea there was any option.

I knew was different especially once puberty hit, there was just no way for me to know how I was different or to know I wouldn't outgrow the "phase".

I always say, it is not necessary for any of us to have intimacy or sex with someone in order to have that "awakening" of our sexuality and I believe that. However, sometimes that little touch, kiss, tingly feeling can push us more towards our admitting it to ourselves sooner rather than later.

We all have different reasons to be unsure. In a neutral world it wouldn't matter, we would be attracted to whomever we are attracted to and that would be that. BUT the world is not neutral and figuring out out sexual orientation is important because it helps us fine our "safe" community in an often hostile world. Sadly that means we have to sort out our feelings, our experiences, social media and media and lots of lies and inconsistencies to separate that from for our innate sexual attraction. It is not always clear what is attraction, true passion and what is imposed upon us from outside pressure.

We all have different reasons to be unsure. In a neutral world it wouldn't matter, we would be attracted to whomever we are attracted to and that would be that. BUT the world is not neutral and figuring out out sexual orientation is important because it helps us fine our "safe" community in an often hostile world. Sadly that means we have to sort out our feelings, our experiences, social media and media and lots of lies and inconsistencies to separate that from for our innate sexual attraction. It is not always clear what is attraction, true passion and what is imposed upon us from outside pressure.

The good news is there is no time line and no shame in being wrong. Our innate sexuality does not change but our understanding of it does as we gain experience and get to know ourselves. Follow your heart. Do not date for others, date for yourself. You don’t need to know for sure to enjoy figuring it out. 

I can also tell you that I know lesbians my age who married men, had kids and had okay lives. It never occurred to them they were lesbians... then small things crept in. They realized what they thought was love was friendship. What they thought was passion was going through the motions. Then, one day, they met other lesbians, saw other lesbians and realized they had mistaken “finding a nice man” for love. and attraction. 

Don’t worry about the opinions of others. They don’t have any right to judge you or your past or your dating life. You are allowed to be wrong and to reevaluate yourself. I have a feeling that once you allow yourself to trust yourself you will figure things out much faster.

When you are ready to date you will not be too much for the right woman. Somehow all those things you think will be too hard for another will not be for someone with whom you click. It is also okay to not be ready to date. To take time for yourself. 

[x-lulu]

hii y’all, so I wanted to say thank you to some people and wish them a lovely new year. we of course have to deal with time zones and different religions that have influence on when the new year starts, so i’m just gonna post it now.

I love you all, to some I talk every day, to some just a few asks so now and then and others presence I just enjoy on my dash, nonetheless I love all of you and I’m grateful you put up with my shit haha x

I also wanted to say a quick thank you to all the lovely anons, your asks make my day and I’m honoured that you take time to send me some :) so thank you and I hope y’all have a lovely 2021!! ofcourse I wish everyone a happy new year as well, all my followers, everyone on this site, no matter who you are have a wonderful 2021 and may you get all the love and happiness you deserve x

@rafej-cambanks​

dani, my older and wiser sister! I love you, I haven’t been texting you as much as i used to sorry, i think we’re both quite busy. anyway this doesnt make me love you any less, i love you lots bby! you were one of the first people that welcomed me, supported me and cared about me, most important of all, you were the first that gave me the feeling i wasn’t completely worthless and that you did that means so much! you are such a talented person and your writing is incredible!! but the most amazing thing about you is how lovely of a person you are. you care so much and you’re there for everyone, you defend your friends and anyone who needs defending. you always know how to cheer me up with pics of your lovely princess, chels is just absolutely gorgeous!!! I think you’re a wonderful friend, someone who you can laugh and cry with, thank you, im grateful i’ve met you this year and i hope that there are a lot of conversations to come. have a lovely new year babe

@deionswannabegirl​ 

bubba, bella, how gorgeous are you ma’am????? i dont think it’s fair for the rest of us!!! i dont know where to start, you honestly mean so much to me. which may suprise you because we havent talked that many times, but i loved every single conversation we’ve had. you really helped me become the person i am, you helped me feel comfortable with my sexuality and gave me the confidence to come out to my parents, ill forever be grateful. but apart from how much you helped me, i think you are such a lovely woman, who sadly had too many things thrown at her by life. Im so sorry you’re having these hard times and i wish i could take those away from you. you are one of the most beautiful persons i’ve ever met, inside and outside!! you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re intelligent, you’re talented, you’re loving, you’re amazing bella and im honoured to have my cuddle bear be named after you hahah. I love you bub and i know it can be hard to talk to people or ask for help or just a distraction, because sometimes we dont need help or dont know what to talk about, i just want to let you know that i will always be here and i promise you can talk about anything with me, you are so strong love and i believe you will get through this and that you are gonna make beautiful memories, i love you! may 2021 be a year to make wonderful memories and may you get the love you deserve and you deserve lots of it <3

@aquariusholland​

kyr! hi! i love you and every time i see you on my dash i get a smile on my face. you really have your own sense of humour and randomness, both which i adore. your jokes make me laugh in public and people are like wtf she laughing about haha. i relate to a lot of things you post haha and while we might not talk that much, i feel close to you. you kind of feel like a sister to me haha. you’re also a queen and come up for yourself and your believes, but also in a respectful way and i just admire that about you. I hope you have a wonderful new year and that it exists of a lot more of your random asks ;)

ps. can i call you kyr bear? idk i was thinking about you and my mind went to kyr bear hahah

@https-luna

lunaaaa bby! we both thought the other didn’t like them haha, but gosh i love you 👉👈 we haven’t been talking for that long yet i think two weeks maybe? idk but you’re already really important to me! i wish i could do more for you than just listen and maybe give some advice, but sadly i cant hold you in my arms and protect you from the world. i will however always do my best and ill be here for you no matter what. you deserve the world my love and things will get better and im here along the way and so are lots of other people, you really are loved bubba!!! i also started watching hannah montanna since you mentioned you loved that show ;) and finally someone with the same love for the little mermaid hahah. I hope that in 2021 we can get even closer, but i think we’re going down the right path <3 i love you and wish you a wonderful new year with lots of love, healing and health, because you deserve it so much! you’re also so strong and i fully believe that you will get there x

@sortagaysortahigh

hey love, we don’t really talk but i wanted to add you to the list. i really admire you!! you stand up for what you believe in, you educate so many people and do what’s right in this world!! you love your friends and i believe you’d anything for them!! you’re also hella funny and seeing you in my dash can make my day. i just wanted to tell you that you’re a wonderful human being and you make the world a lot better!! i hope you keep being the amazing person you are and i wish you all the love and happiness in the world!! also you’re a badass haha, happy new year angel 🖤

@annab-nana

anna bby, you’re the sweetest person i’ve ever met!! i love interacting with you so much, you always bring a smile to my face and i believe you do that to a lot of people. you’re an incredible presence on tumblr and in the world, i believe you make everyone’s life a bit brighter and i hope i can do the same for you. on top of that you’re also hella talented, idk what god thought when he made you ;) I love that we have gotten closer in the past few weeks, i cant believe that i hadn’t made the connection between you and your sideblog hahah, but now i know you and im grateful for it!!! you’re a loving, caring and supporting lil bean and i love you! i feel like i can come with anything to you and you’ll be there for me and that is an amazing feeling, so here just a reminder that you can also come with anything to me <3 i hope 2021 is gonna be a good year for you, you deserve it!! 

ps - you’re absolutely gorgeous

@mxltifandoms06

hi sweetheart!! when i think of christmas i think of you ;) (i wrote this when it was almost christmas not new year haha) you’re such a cozy and sweet human being!! you’re supportive, caring and loving!! you always make my days better and i’m so grateful to have met you!! also your dog is just the most adorable ever!! im so glad you decided to come in my ask box and start interacting, i love you babe, i hope all the love you give you’ll receive in 2021, you’re deserving of a lot of love <3

@killingbxys

my queen! hi! we don’t talk as much as I would want to, but gosh i just have a comfortabel vibe with you, i feel like i can come with anything to you and every time i see you on my dash, asks, dm anything it brings a smile on my face. i’ve said it before, but you’re that one friend who you can both laugh and cry with. i feel like you’re this amazing presence here on tumblr and everyone is grateful to have you x i love you babe and i hope we will get closer in the new year :) if you’re up for that as well ofcourse hahah, im not going to force you to be friends with me (well... maybe i am... but we’re not gonna talk about that...). I wish you the best and i hope 2021 will treat you wonderful x

@jellyfishbeansontoast

izzy hi!! babe i love you and all your randomness, every time i see you in my dash i get a smile on my face!! also your work is incredible!!! and i love seeing you simping haha!! your whole blog is basically a mood and i love it 🥰 thank you for being your lovely self!! i hope you’ll get the love and happiness you deserve and i also hope to get closer in 2021 hehe ;) you’re just this amazing person and im honoured to be moots! have a lovely new year x

@demxters

elle my love, if we’re gonna talk about lovey and talented people ofcourse we have to add you to the list. you’re one of my favourite writers of all time, your titles, your aesthetic, your concepts, your way with words, it’s all so perfect!!! you always amaze me and then we started talking and omg you’re such a sweet person and every time i get an ask or a message from you it puts a smile on my face. i’m grateful i met you this year and i wish you all the best, i believe in you, you’re so strong!! i know you go through some difficult stuff, but i will always be there for you, remember you are worthy and so loved!!! i love you, have a wonderful 2021.

@pink-meringues

pink gosh im gonna miss you so bad, but i’m also really proud of you for doing what’s best for you and i really hope it will have positive effect on your well being and your happiness!! you’re such a loving and welcoming person!! thank you for being who you are and making so many peoples lives better, we all care about you babe!! have a lovely 2021 <3

@sunsetholland

hey love, if i’m gonna be honest here, you were the person who gave me the confidence to start being myself on this site, you probably don’t remember but once you send me an ask and wished me a lovely week, which brought a smile to my face!! that was the moment that i decided to be myself, thank you for that!! apart from that you are so freaking talented, i say it all the time but your work is like reading poetry, how you come up with your sentences i have no clue, but it’s wonderful and i’m amazed every time!! you’re also a lovely human being and your posts on my dash always make me smile!! i hope you have a lovely 2021 babe, i love you <3

@skiesofthesketchy

sky my love, you’re such a loving and supporting human being. you really bring peace on my dash and give me a calm feeling!! I honestly still can’t believe that my tumblr crush knew who I was and wanted to talk to me haha. I’m obsessed with your work and there are so many people who admire you, which you totally deserve!!! It’s almost unbelievable how talented you are haha and your music taste is also on point!! and how cool is it that you can play the guitar and have a job to do with music, I love it and you’re so talented and well deserving of every good thing that comes on your path. have a lovely new year x

@cognacdelights

hi bub, you’re one of my role models 🙈 you’re a classy badass who I admire so much, you’re one of the most talented persons I’ve ever met! you’re also so lovely and sweet!!! and you’re a really fascinating and interesting woman as well!! I wish you all the best my love, remember to take some time for yourself and try to ignore those toxic people, you’re more than enough and deserve to feel happy and loved

@mind-with-a-melody

tess, i know you haven’t had the best time lately and i wish 2021 could be a whole new start for you, sadly mental health doesn’t work that way. however i really hope it will be better for you and you’ll learn to have hope and maybe love yourself, because you are so worth it. you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. you send love to people and make others peoples days better and that is the most wonderful trait someone can have, i believe in you, you are strong and even tho it may not feel like that but it will get better and i’m always here!! you’ll get help along the way, from me but also from so many other people who love you!! i hope 2021 will treat you better, you deserve all the love and the happiness ma’am, happy new year!!

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

hi audrey, we haven’t talked that much yet, but you’re the first blog i followed on here. you’re so talented and seeing you on my dash always brings a smile to my face. so i decided to send you an ask and then i found out that you’re a lovely human as well!! i wish you the best for 2021, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world!!

@nxsmss​ 

well lara, where do I start, last but definitely not least. I just had to put you last because I knew your message would be one of the longest haha. it feels so weird for someone to accept me completely as who i am, but you do exactly that! okay now im starting to cry again, but you mean so much to me. you’re the best that happened to me in a long long time and you’re honestly the person who helps me the most, gives me the best feelings, it’s incredible how much talking to you can cheer me up and when i think about you i start to smile (and sometimes cry hahah, jeez i come over like a cry bby, i promise im not hahaha). you’re one of the most loving and caring persons i’ve ever met. you were so welcoming since the first time we met and i feel like we kinda immediatelly hit it off. we didnt have that ‘how are you and where do you live’ kind of conversations, while there is nothing wrong with small talk, i feel like we pretty much immediatly started being our weird selves around each other and i love it. we have like three dates every week haha and those are honestly what gets me through the week. and we basically interact almost every hour, no matter if it’s trough text, snap, tumblr or tiktok hahah. ive never felt more myself, more loved or more capable than with you. on top of that you are hella talented, wise, intelligent, gorgeous, pretty much perfect ;) i absolutely love everything about you, from the clumsy stuff you do to the sweet good morning and good night messages, from the random snaps to the deep conversations, from the weird asks to just basically acting like we’re a couple hehe. i just love everything and i cant imagine my life without you, im never letting you go babe. 

@dmonchld @jiaraendgame @vintageobx @rafeyybabyy @camillemonty, @amorejjaygron​ 

we may not interact that much but every time I see you on my dash or asks or something it brings a smile to my face!! 

also @dmonchld you are my icon 🙈 and i admire you so much, im just a scared lil bean which stops me from interacting with you hahah, but you’re so strong and brave. i think you are a wonderful friend and just an incredible person in general

@jiaraendgame your music taste is just on point!! and im so grateful for you, when ive posted about tough subjects you comment and even when we didnt know each other you supported me and comforted me, thank you, i think you are this amazing person and i love every interaction with you

@vintageobx and @rafeyybabyy you guys were some of the first people I started talking to and you’ve always been supportive thank you for that!! you’re both really kind and i hope 2021 will treat you with nothing but love 

@camillemonty and @amorejjaygron you both make me feel welcome on this site and I’m really grateful for that!

i wish you all a wonderful new year and may it be filled with love, laughter and making wonderful memories 

i love you 

btw i started writing this like a month ago, because i never work on the stuff that i need to work on and knew i wouldn’t be able to finish it if i didn’t start already haha, so yeah, with some people the relationships might have changed a bit, like we’ve already become closer, but i think it’s all pretty up to date, but if it isn’t then you know that that’s why <3 and there are probably a lot of errors because it’s barely proofread and i’m a horrible at typing so that’s that 🙈

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Seven

~sweet home~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warning: mild language

words: 4.7k

summary:  Home is where your bros at right? right.

a/n: I actually like this chapter, shocker. i hope you enjoy 

ao3

----------------

Minho stared at the video file sitting on his computer, on the familiar application site that had been haunting his mind for the past couple years. The debate he found himself in with himself on whether or not to submit another application, had become his default subject of thought for much of the past few weeks. All building up to right now. Something had tipped the scale though. Something that reminded him if he didn't submit an entry this year, that he might as well have given up on his one dream. His one goal. The only thing that had been keeping him motivated through university. So once again he found himself rationalizing, and knew that if anything he had to try, at least just one last time. 

Upload complete, Thank you for your entry!

Minho sighed loudly. He had sent it in. The first part of the application. It was just a basic dance routine supplied by the academy. He had practice and recorded it all within one sitting. Having been a part of a dance crew for much of the past year had allowed him to quickly pick up choreography and perfect it. The other reason being that he wanted more than anything to get the overbearing presence of the audition tape out of his head space as soon as possible. A heavy sigh left his lips as he laid back down on the studio floor, not too long after a ping of his phone revived just enough for him to check his messages.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

2:50 pm

Minho-hyung!

I hope your day has been going well~

Sadly, no updates on when ill be free :/ 

They’re working us hard for the debut

It’s alright Ji, work hard!

You better be taking care of yourself tho...

4:03 pm (new)

Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)

{link attached}

I hope you like it!!!!

Oh, no i havent

I’ll give it a listen ^-^

As of late it wasn’t uncommon for Jisung to send the older songs he thought he would like. Always saying some cheesy line that was so blatantly sweet it made Minho flustered everytime. This time of course was no exception. 

Ping.

HYUNG THAT EMOJI

Asjdnjsfma

I knew I was rubbin goffon you 

Kkkkk

Dont get too ahead of yourself 

atleast I can still type coherent sentences

~goffon~ 

Boo :p

Why Jisung was so persistent about sending him songs was lost on the older, but it was a sweet reminder that someone was thinking about him. It had been a while since Minho had even imagined that someone took a few minutes of their day to actually consider how he was doing. It didn't quite make sense to him that suddenly out of nowhere, there was his boy, man, person, who purposefully took the time to dedicate brain cells to his existence. Wild. 

Minho hurriedly clicked the link to the song that Jisung had sent. It was an upbeat song, with a strong but subtle strumming of a guitar to keep the song’s pace just quick enough to be comfortable. “There's no one else that could ever hold me like you do.” The lyrics were in the realm of positive longing and companionship, but the dips into minor chords and tone of the singer created a mood of desperation. More than anything, the song brought forth a story to Minho. One that he could see with his eyes close and feel his body wanting to move to. 

A smile stretched across his face, as he rose from his spot on the floor, dusting off the dull ache and pressure in his shoulders from having just finished a routine not even 10 minutes ago. 

“But I know that I'd be crazy, Not to wanna be the one to keep you up all night”

Woah there Jisung, at least take me out to dinner first. He made a mental note to tease the younger later about his “Made me think of you :)” line later. Already stretching and drawing a plan in his head, Minho took his phone and saved the song, pressing the repeat button twice, to allow the guitar chords and chorus harmonies to carry on endlessly. A smirk stretched into an excited smile. Not wanting to jinx himself, a shy “finally” was whispered in the back of Minho’s mind at the surge of inspiration, but not spoken aloud just yet.

---

Flashing lights, heavy makeup, hot clothing, and too much fog from the smoke machine is all Jisung had thought about for the last couple hours. 3RAHCHA was in their last photo shoot for their debut. The concept photos would be released later through the week, slowly revealing the three members and their group as officially signed with JJP ent. 

The multicolor lights had been running through his vision for so long that as soon as he walked into their Green Room, he had almost forgotten what color everything actually was. Looking in the mirror he saw the blonde highlighted streaks in his hair had settled nicely, slightly slicked back. The stylist had surely done their jobs well. Painting the three rappers up to look less like the nightcrawlers they were, and into something that leather and fishnet clad superstars might look like was definitely a challenge. Jisung had his makeup done just enough to give his eyes a smoky look to them, and grey contacts to emphasize his gaze. The ensemble he had on looked like something that had come straight from a catwalk. Fishnets crawling up his arms from his gloved hands and an asymmetrical shit he for sure would not have been able to put on without the help of his stylist-noona. All that plus some leather pants and combat boots, he definitely looked more like his persona J.One than the notorious hoodie clad couch potato named Jisung he usually found himself as. 

Having just finished his own solo shoot, he signaled Changbin to head on to the set as he returned. The older nodded from his chair in front of the makeup station, as the artist finished the final touches to his eyeliner. Jisung watched as the shorter rapper walked out to the set in a white puffer jacket that he somehow pulled off, even with the bright red pants he wore. A part of Jisung was thankful his stylist hadn’t taken that many liberties with his outfit, but the makeup and outfit Changbin wore really only emphasized his intimidating stare and the wideness of his shoulders. It was undeniable that their concept photos would come out well. 

Chan, who was seated on a couch, eating some of the provided sandwiches, was already hunched over his computer and mixing equipment again, airpods in. Probably working on tracks for their third comeback knowing him. Not wanting to jump right back into work Jisung snagged a few snacks from the buffet and found a chair he could lay on. Listening to music that wasn't work had become a rarity for Jisung in the years he had been with 3RACHA. Of course he always tried to stay on top of the recent pop and hip hop trends, but straying any farther than his trusty morning and workout playlists was more than unlikely. 

Lately though, Jisung found himself looking through a lot of random indie, alternative, “western” pop, and especially dance music. The versatility of the genres was comforting to Jisung in the rather turbulent state his emotions and mental state have been in, as the debut approached. Also Minho. Meeting Minho definitely had introduced a whole new set of feelings Jisung was still working on navigating. As he listened to the different songs that populated this radio, he told himself he was just looking for some inspiration for his lyrics and 3RACHA’s new music, but even he knew that was mostly a lie. 

Ever since that night at the bar with Minho he found himself always considering the older and what he would think of a song or how he would dance to it, or if he would even like it. After pointing out that he liked a particularly upbeat pop song with melancholic lyrics, during their impromptu karaoke session, Jisung had been delvinging into all related categories to find songs he thought the older might enjoy. He wanted more than anything to inspire his older companion? Partner? (that was a later Jisung question.) but he wanted to repay the man who had allowed him to get out of his creative slump. That night, as soon as the youngest rapper had returned to the 3RACHA “house” he felt the start of at least 5 separate tracks and choruses appear in his brain. His two hyungs jumped into action along with him as Jisung desperately tried to write and record everything that was jumping out of his brain at once. 

Jisung remembered Chan’s smile and encouraging words as he fitted a few of his new verses to songs they had previously put on the shelf. After finding a particularly emotional but upbeat song he immediately wanted to send it to Minho. He always got hung up on what to say with the link. Other than the thought vomit that occurred every time he chooses to send him a potentially good song: “Found this song? U Like???” No Jisung, what are you five?? “I think you will enjoy this song. Please give it a listen? :0” No that just sounds desperate. 

“You doing alright there Ji, I can hear you sighing through my earbuds?” Chan peeked out from under his styled bangs with a raised eyebrow, sending Jisung into a red embarrassed mess that he had been caught. He hoped his layers of foundation would cover it up. 

“Yeah fine fine, don't worry. I’m FINE.” Attempting to hide Jisung curled up tighter into his arm chair. Just be casual Jisung it's a song not a marriage proposal dear god. “Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)” Good, yes fine. Send.

Minho responded immediately and cutely with an emoji that made his heart jump a little. Minho would respond always with a variation of a “Thanks! I’ll go listen”, but Jisung had yet to receive any confirmation that the older actually enjoyed the links he sent, much less had found some inspiration in them. At this point the only thing he could do was hope. He wanted nothing more than Minho to be smiling because of him.

--

Officially exhausted, it wasn’t until late when the 3RACHA boys had finally made it back to their apartment. The day Jisung had, had been anything but short. Almost collapsing immediately on the couch. Sana notified them that she had already ordered food to be delivered for dinner and that they should go to bed as soon as they had finished eating. Chan looked like he was about to pass out on the couch before the food even arrived, which was more than likely at this point. After their shoot they were immediately sent to a few other meetings laying out their marketing and schedule plans for the upcoming weeks. Although glad they were able to part with their artistic and career decisions with their company, it did add a lot of work and responsibilities to the trio. 

Jisung’s phone had died somewhere after meeting 3 of 5 and he had submitted to having to carry the lifeless brick with him anyway. Not ideal for his wandering mind and anxiety that comes with a few too many stressful meetings. Once finally arriving home he went and plugged his phone in at the charger on the kitchen counter. Lighting up with notification buzzes as it rebooted back to life. 

[ 5 new messages from Lee Minho hyungie]

Immediately cursing himself internally for not bringing his charger with him, he opened his messages from Minho ignoring all others. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

5:45 pm

Hey Jisungie, just finished up practice!

Actually may or may not have danced to the song u sent…

Maybe I’ll show you some day hehehehehehehehe ;)

7:21 pm

Han Jisung, did you forget your charger again >:/ 

Well I’m off to my late shift, I hope you have a good night~

Jisung always found himself smiling at Minho’s before work texts. They were always so cute. Either some sort of sweet well wishing or some other Minho-esque goodbye, along the lines of “don’t die mysteriously while i'm gone ;p” or “Have a good night, try not to miss my WONDERFUL company too much <3”. (The hearts always made Jisung grin hard, even if they were sarcastic)

This night though, Jisung found him almost jumping in victory at Minho’s text. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

12:35 am

YOU DANCED TO THE SONG

Really?!?!?!

What did you like about it? 

When can I see????

You better not leave me on read after work!

Jisung tried to imagine what kind of dance Minho would do to the track he sent,and suddenly found himself flush at the thought of watching the other dance. Somehow, watching Minho dance, felt more intimate than any other situation that they’ve shared. Thankfully Minho seemed to want to hold off, so at least of the time being Jisung’s heart was safe. The exhaustion and stress from the day faded ever so slightly as soon as he thought of Minho with coordinating blush to match. 

Jisung you lovestruck fool.

“Jisung! Food’s here!!! If you don't hurry Chan’ll eat your portion again.”

“HEY! It was one time.” Laughter filled the apartment gently as they all respectively fought gravity to get up and make their way to collect the food from the delivery man.  

---

Minho tore up the stairs and through their apartment door as quickly as he could without spilling the carry out food he had in his arms. The clock was ticking a little past midnight and fear set in that the older would miss their planned celebrations. 

Bursting through the door, “Did I beat him?!” The oldest was frazzled from rushing in order to beat their third roommate home from work.

“Barely! I was afraid you wouldn’t make it, with having to bring the carry out.” Hyunjin’s sigh of relief was visible throughout the boy's now relaxed body. He had spent the last ten minutes hoping that they would still be able to pull off their surprise party for the youngest. Pacing around and failing to come up with any backup plans if Minho had been later than Felix. Thankfully for them both, Minho had a way of always being on time. 

“Hey all that matters is I made it. Is everything else ready?” Looking around Minho could see that Hyunjin’s bed was transitioned back into the couch setting and that the floors had been tidied up. A couple stray balloons littered the floor as well as a home made “happy birthday felix” sign hung from their living room screen divider. 

“Yep, I've just been waiting anxiously for you to get home for the past half hour.”

The door handle of their apartment began to jiggle, signaling the two boys to spring into action. Minho setting down the carry out, and Hyunjin frantically lights candles on the small cake on the coffee table. The door swung open, revealing a disheveled after-work Felix wandering through the door. As soon as the boy turned toward their living room, he was accosted with shouts and the flailing limbs of his hyungs. 

“Surprise!!!” “Happy Birthday!!!” 

Felix’s smile erased any of the signs of exhaustion off his face immediately as soon as he spotted his hyungs excited expressions. The cake, the streamers, the balloons, and sign all sparked some joyful tearing of his eyes as he set down his things and made his way to the small cake with a few random lit candles on top. The clock had crossed over into the next day as Felix had made his way home, that he had almost forgotten that it was now technically the early morning hours of his birthday. Coming home to joyful cheers instead of their usual exhausted silence had given him a certain happiness that he hadn’t realized he was missing. 

For all of three of the roommates this was their first time having a celebration in their small home together. By now the sense of home was undeniable and without realizing it all of them had begun to consider each other and their shared 3 room apartment, home. 

The disjointed singing of happy birthday followed by the laughter and conversation surrounded their coffee table as the three enjoyed their small carryout feast and cake. The warmth that their company gave each other lasted well into the night.

“Hyung! It's my birthday, stop eating all the cake!!!” 

“I have no idea what youre talking about Lixie.” Minho says while actively taking another bite of their 2 person sized cake. 

“Hyung!” The laughter of the oldest filled the room followed by the other two’s not too long after.

“Happy Birthday Lixie~” The smile hadn’t left the freckled boys faces since he had sat down, and remained as he pulled his two roommates into a forceful hug. It was his birthday so the boys both submitted to the clingy nature of their third roommate, as always.

---

It was late into the early morning by the time Minho had checked his phone. 

[ 5 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung]

A soft pang of guilt hits his chest after reading the younger’s texts and realizing that he did in fact leave the other on read for the better part of the last two hours.  

2:43 am 

I’m so sorry Sungie!

We were celebrating Felix’s birthday, and I didnt check my phone…. 

Look at the cute cake we got him!

{photo attached}

Minho sent the selfie of the three of them with Felix’s cake, if anything just to lessen the guilt in his chest. Hoping that the cuteness of Felix’s smile would be enough to forgive him for low key ghosting him for a few hours. Minho knows that on the days Jisung has the most schedules are the hardest for him mentally, and he always tries his best to be there for him and send him a message or two to lessen the load on those nights. The fact that he hadn’t been there tonight filled him with some worry. A part of him hoped that the younger would’ve been asleep by now but their late night track record did not exactly support that. 

---

Jisung had been lying painfully awake in his bed for an hour when he heard the buzz of his phone. Slightly upset with his body for not giving into the exhaustion he had gathered from the day, and just letting him sleep, he turned to the side table to check the messages. Awake fully ,but only mentally half conscious, he read through his messages:

Minho. Oh, yay, it's Minho.

Felix’s Birthday. Oh right he had mentioned that coming up.

Cute cake. Aw that cake is really cute… wait. 

Birthday.

I have one of those, around this time to- 

I missed my birthday. I forgot my birthday. Everyone forgot.

The cute picture Minho had sent was so filled with happiness that Jisung almost let the pain slide and pass the moment by. But something just didn't feel right in letting himself forget his own birthday. The fact that the others hadn’t remembered didn’t bother him too much. Chan, Changbin, they were all busy with schedules and he can't blame them. Especially since he, himself had forgotten. No birthday text from his family either. Unsurprising though since he rarely got in contact with them since moving to Korea in high school. He forgot though. 

He wasn’t quite sure why this was bothering him so much. Some people don't even celebrate their birthday, or remember how old they are, but Jisung had always prided himself on never letting his work take over entirely who he was. To exhausted-Jisung, he couldn’t help but feel like this was one step toward losing the grip on who he was, and that was in itself, terrifying. 

The coldness of his bed and the dark expanse of his room seemed to only perpetuate the way Jisung felt. Floating, alone, lost. His insecurity was starting to come into focus, and no wonder it had been keeping him up. He had been spiraling for days probably, without even knowing it. The buzz of his phone lit up his face, snapping him out of his own thoughts for a moment. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

2:50 pm 

You okay Jisung? 

I hope I didn't wake you

Jisung noticed that the app had revealed that he had read the messages and was indeed awake. Unfortunately, exhausted-and--spirling-Jisung was the only one present enough to send a response. Hopefully Minho wouldn’t mind him too much. 

You didn’t wake me, was already up :/ 

It looks really fun hyung

I just realized something too

My birthday was yesterday

I forgot it

Jisung found himself fighting the watering of his eyes as he sent those messages. Why was he crying? He just forgot, he was busy. It was okay. Right? The tears seemed to only cloud his vision more, blocking him from reading the messages from Minho that were buzzing and populating the screen. Not bothering to wipe his eyes, he let them blurr.

Wh- do you- mea- ???

Jis--ng ar- y-- ok--?

I-- sorry i- di-nt -----

---- wa-t --- ca-l?

--sung?

A few moments passed, without him realizing it, as his phone buzzed some more, screen changing to the incoming call screen. Sucking up his tears and drying his damp screen, it took a few tries before answering the call.

---

“Jisung!?” Jisung nearly flinched, just nearly. 

“Hi hyung, How was work?” hoping to cover up his tears by changing the subject. Jisung thought it was a pretty good attempt.

“How wa- what, no. Jisung are you okay?” There it was again. The undeniable worry in Minho’s voice. Ow. 

“Yeah I’m okay.” Despite Jisung’s efforts it was obvious to Minho that the other had in fact been crying. Not wanting to push the younger though, he allowed him to change the subject

“.... okay, I just want to check in on you. I worry you know, Sung!” 

“About me? that's silly hyung.” The distance in his tone replaced Jisung’s usual brightness, and it hurt Minho to hear it. 

“I don't think so. How am I to know what my favorite customer is up to? You may be a soon to be rap star but that doesn’t keep you from ignoring your hyung.” Even though Jisung giggled at that, the irony of the statement wasn’t lost on Minho. A wave of guilt washed over his chest as soon as he said it. 

“I am sorry though. For not answering sooner and everything.” 

And for reminding you of your birthday, and making you cry, and not being there to make you smile.

“No don’t be sorry! That’ll only make me feel worse for bothering you… I think the exhaustion was just making me delirious, I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights.” Minho had to fight his initial protective instincts that told him to scold the younger for not taking care of himself, because a part of him knew that the younger was certainly trying his best to do so. 

“Well if you can’t sleep ever, just call me okay? I’m usually up from my shifts anyway. Plus if I'm not up surely one of my roommates is. Felix will probably never let go of you once he finds your birthday brothers." Hearing Minho's laugh lightened the tight pressure that Jisung hadn't realized had been settled in his chest.

"Okay hyung, i'd like that I think."

"You better. My time rarely comes free, and this is a limited time offer." Jisung’s laugh is a little bit more enthusiastic this time. 

“Of course hyung.” A silence came over them for a moment. Not an awkward one, more of a point of realization and relief. Like the feeling after having a good cry, in Jisung’s case. 

“Happy belated birthday Jisung.” 

“Thanks hyung… Did you have a fun time with Felix?” 

“Yeah! It was actually a lot of fun. Just some carry out and cake after work, but it was good to relax with them. We don't always have free time together, and haven’t had the chance to celebrate anything until now. Hyunnie luckily found a cake on sale at the mart today, sparking this whole thing.” 

Minho remembered the frantic call from the younger as he delved into his plans for giving Felix the “perfect surprise birthday celebration” because he had “found the perfect cake to match Felix’s cuteness.” It was on sale. Also because “Come on Min-hyung Felix would absolutely do the same for us.” Explaining the situation to Jisung really did solidify the fact that Minho knew Felix, would in fact, plan some adorable birthday celebration for the older two if given the opportunity. 

“What would you guys have done if he hadn't found the cake?”

“I’m not sure maybe it would’ve just been a carry-out celebration.”

“Still sounds really nice hyungie. You and your roommates seem so close.” 

“I suppose shared rent does that to people.” Minho laughed it off but he had begun to cherish the brotherly bond that had grown between his roommates. 

Not having ever considered it before, the fact that the roommates were only able to buy a cake because it happened to be on sale, revealed to Jisung that their financial situations may have been farther apart than he realized. Money had never been a barrier that Jisung had to face, always having family (or honestly Changbin) help pay for his living and pursuit of his dreams. Sure he’s had part time jobs in the past but he never found himself worrying about not making enough each month. Not going to university definitely was a large factor in maintaining his “affordable” lifestyle.

“It's nice you do things for each other. I can't remember the last time my hyungs and I have done something together that didn't have to do with our music.” Jisung started to feel some sort of jealousy at the closeness that Minho and his roommate had found in each other. Financial guilt and emotional jealousy are a strange combination for a half conscious Jisung to say the least. 

“Are those fools not taking care of my Sung properly? Illegal, tell them to call me I have to yell at them too. They better not be working you too hard.” 

‘My Sung’ Jisung almost choked. Almost. 

“Nonono Hyung! They take care of me fine, we're all just exhausted with work.”

“Hmmmm okay they get a pass this time, but please relay my threat.”

“Okay okay I will.” 

“You should probably get some rest soon. You're busy tomorrow right?” 

Jisung yawned in response, which was enough convincing for Minho that he needed to rest. 

“Okay looks like it's sleepy time for hardworking Jisung~”

“Wait hyung!” Jisung wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet, even though his body was actively fighting him.

“Yes belated birthday boy?”

“Thank you for not letting me be a sad gremlin all night. It would've been nice to have spent my birthday with you, but you still made me feel better.”

The musings of sleepy Jisung were just about enough to let the fondness burst from Minho’s chest. As much as he continues to hide it, the fondness still seeps into his voice, “Of course, Jisung we always have next year.” A promise he wasn’t sure he could keep but Jisung always made him want to try new things. 

“Next year?” The sleepiness had definitely taken over, making his voice much softer than his usual bright edge. 

“Yes next year... Goodnight Sungie, call me back if you can't sleep okay.”

“Mmkay, G’night hyungie.” Already half asleep by the time he hung up, Minho was glad that the younger was finally able to rest. Glancing at his roommates huddled together on the couch already drifting off, Minho accepted that it was his turn to finally rest knowing that all his younger companions were all safely sleeping. Hyung instincts he supposes.

-----

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[flowapuddle]

Haikyuu x Athletic! FEMALE Reader

okay so enjoy this book and the chapters, please don’t copy or take credit of it - Puddle ❤️

Chapter 1

The Sisters From The States

“Is this where volleyball is held at?” You questioned looking at the building and raising a eyebrow

“I assume yes since the principle told us where to go” You heard Aaliyah mutter under her breathe as she was with her bored face also examining the building

“Well let’s go inside I am pretty sure there has to be volleyball players in their” You say as you approach the metal door and opening it as you both walked into the gym

Once walking inside you see boys practicing volleyball you caught a glimpse of a boy doing a quick attack jump serve almost immediately the ball came zooming towards you as you dodged out of the way almost getting hit in the face with the ball

“Oi!” You shouted after you gained your balance

As the ball meet the ground it bounced off as that was the only thing you can hear, everyone was dead silent eventually

You heard a bit of whispering going on as everyone had their eyes on you making you slightly uneasy as you cleared your thoart a bit

“Is this...where ummm volleyball is held?” You questioned as you looked around the room finally noticing it was all boys practicing and only two girls that looked like mangers on the side

A boy with sliver hair walked forward and smiled gently at you breaking the awkward tension in the room or really in the gym

“Ahh yes this is where volleyball is held though, sadly this is the boys volleyball team and not the girls. We don’t have a girls team anymore” He said as gently as he kept his smile on his face

You tilted your head in confusion slightly “No girls volleyball what do you mean? Their has to be a girls volleyball”You said with frown as you slightly furrowed your eyebrow

“No they were unfortunately they were shutdown a few weeks ago since there wasn’t enough girls that went to try out for them”

“Oh I see...Then why would the principal tell us they had a girls volleyball team..?” You questioned out loud and started to think deep into thought

While you were thinking you failed to notice the boys starting to crowd around you as your sister slightly backed away from them not liking crowds of any sorts

“I am sorry I have never seen you around school before and, you look very familiar” The same boy with sliver hair questioned

“Ah, right..er sorry I didn’t introduce myself I am still new to this whole thing umm my name is Imaah (Y/n)” You said as you looked around the crowd of boys

“And this is my older sister, Imaah Aaliyah”

“Sup” Aaliyah added as she did a lazy peace sign from were she was standing away from the crowd

“We are from the states if you couldn’t tell; we moved here one week ago” You said as you looked at boys as you smiled

“Y-your the AMAAH (Y-Y/N) FROM VOLLEYBALL MONTHLY!!!?” One of the boys yelled out he was taller than you and he had shaved head

You kept smiling as you meekly nodded your head “P-people still read those things...hahaha” you said nervously

“Well yeah any sport player would read that—“ He was cut off by a smaller boy who was a couple inches shorter than you having one piece of blonde stranded tip laying on his forehead

“YOUR ACTUALLY THE FAMOUS IMAAH SISTERS BEING RANKED NUMBER #1 BEST WOMENS ATHLETE” He practically screamed startling you as you nodded

“I guess so yeah” You said with a chuckle

“Wow, this a dream come true” He mumbled before he looked like he was going to dramatically faint with his friend

With all the boys reacting differently it made you slightly kinda nervous in a sense

“Oi” You heard a voice behind you as it was coming from Aaliyah as she was still leaning against the wall with arms crossed

All the boys gushing over well really two boys gushing over you stopped

“My sister needs to be part of a club if I remember correctly, she needs to be part of this volleyball club. Since this is the only sport she is interested in.” She stated bluntly looking at everyone

“Who’s the captain of this team” She asked as each one of the boys all at once stepped away from someone towards the back what assume was the captain making him sweetdropped

“Some kind of team I have” you can only imagine him saying to himself

Aaliyah leaned off the wall and walked towards the person slightly towering him, she was 182.88 cm tall (6’0 ft)

He swallowed nervously as his face turned red not because it was because a pretty girl that was taller than him no no no it because he was nervous as hell

“Let my sister be a manger” Aaliyah said more like a statement and less like a question he nodded

“Of c-course! We will g-gladly expect her!” He said chuckling stepping back a bit to look at her instead of having to look directly up towards her

“Jeez Aaliyah, don’t kill the man....it already looks like he is about to pee his pants” You said mumbling out as sweatdropped

“Why would I kill the man?” Aaliyah questioned out walking away from him as he took in a big breathe of air being able to finally breathe

“Since I am going to be the manger, you have to be the manger also Aaliyah!” You said cheerful catching her off guard as she walked next to you looking down at you with a frown

“No”

(TIME SKIP~~!)

After a couple of hours of being in the gym with the guys and convincing your sister to be manger they introduce themselves to the both of you. Then even wanted to celebrate getting two new manger by getting some meat buns

“Wow, so your telling me in the states they also have junior olympics!!” Hinata said with a smile as you were walking next to him answering his questions as you sister was on the otherside of you

“Yeah they do, it’s pretty fun over there and it’s cool to meet new people and a couple of sport celebrities” You said with a chuckle following the boys infront of you

“Do you do anything besides volleyball?” Hinata questioned keeping his smile as he looked at you

“Yeah I enjoy watching Aaliyah basketball games and help her workout. Other than that I try to keep myself to do things that are sports related” You said as you chuckled

“Amazing, you have to teach me your serving technique!i have seen it a couple of times and try to teach myself but I could never get it down” He said jumping up and down infront of you having a bright atmosphere, he was like a big bright ball of sunshine

“Sure we can start tomorrow” You hummed out as you the volleyball team walked into the convent store

“Sakanoshita market?” Aaliyah hummed out looking around blinking “it looks like a liquor store to me” Aaliyah said in English only you understood making the volleyball boys look at her crazy

As she blinked at them “What?” She questioned

“You spoke another language” Daichi said slightly in awe

“Well we are from the states it’s obvious we speak another language other than Japanese” She said in her stoic voice walking past him and down one of the isles to look at different things

You walked to him patting his shoulder noticing how his awe state went into a glumly type of state

“She’ll warm to everyone eventually give her time” You said with a encouraging smile as he looked at you for a while and nodded his head blushing

“Anyways let’s try out what you call a meatbun I have never had one before neither has Aaliyah” You said encouraging looking at the team

Daichi nodded his head and left you with the group to grab some meatbuns as he had almost chest full of meatbuns and walked towards the counter to pay for them and getting a plastic bag to put them in

He came back with a plastic bag and smiled lifting it up “Alright let’s go” You heard him say as he walked out of the little mini market as everyone followed behind him

Everyone was outside of the shop as he held open the plastic bag smiling looking at Aaliyah and you

“Go ahead grab the first one!” He said with a warm smile as he let Aaliyah and you grab a meat-bun first

You grabbed the item as you opened it and bite down into it as your eyes went big and chewed on it “Oh wow so delicious! You have to take a bite of it Aayliah!” You said eating the meat-bun as savoring the flavor

“umm...” Aaliyah said a bit hesitantly looking at the food item

“Don’t be nervous try it!” You said encouraging her as you kept eating yours almost finish with it

“I don’t know” Aaliyah mumbled out slightly still contemplating the idea of eating it

The meatbun was snatched from her hand as Sugawara smiled at her “Say ah” He said sweetly with his eyes shut

Aaliyah blinked at him and furrowed her eyebrows she stared at item as you along with the team watched the 3rd year feed Aaliyah her with curiosity

“Ahh” She said quietly as he placed the meat-bun in her mouth letting her take a bite of

Almost immediately you can tell she liked it as her eyes pupils grew a bit in size and her face soften and her body instantly became more relaxed as she kept chewing

You smiled at the two but the moment was ruined completely

“AALIYAH LET ME FEED YOU MY MEAT-BUN TOO!!!” both Tanka and Nishinoya yelled very very loudly

Making Aaliyah snap out of her calm and dazed state as she visible became more tense as her pupils sharpened and her bored facial expression came back onto her face

She grabbed the meat-bun from Sugawara hand and glaring the three boys “I know how to eat on my own” She said trying to keep her glare as a visible pink blush was on her deep umber brown skin as she looked away from everyone eating the rest of the meatbun

You smiled at Sugawara giving him a thumbs up and eventually looked down at your risk watch looking at the time

“I think Aaliyah and I should start—“

Before finishing your sentence there was a man with blonde hair pushed back by a black stringy headband as he held a mop in his hand and a cirgreet in his mouth yelling

“DONT CAUSE A COMMITION OUTSIDE MY STORE OR ELSE I WILL BEAT EACH ONE OF YOU WITH THIS MOP AGAIN” He yelled obviously pissed

“Again...?” You said questioning outloud

“First time is when Tanka and Hinata fighting over the last meat-bun...” Daichi said with a sweatdrop

“Sorry coach” Daichi mumbled quietly as volleyball group of boys began walking away from the shop at a very fast pace before getting hit in the head with mop

Everyone walked the same way for a while having conversation with either you or your sister as everyone slowly started to break off when they would get to their stop

“We can walk you home if you like” Said Daichi with Sugawara and Nishinoya the only three boys left

“We don’t want to trouble you with walking us, besides you don’t have too it’s just one block ahead” You said with a nervous smile

“Ah none of us mind plus we are only doing are job as both of your senpais!” Noya said with his hand on his hips smiling pointing at himself

Aaliyah furrowed her eyebrow visibly confused “How are you any of you my so called senpai? When I am about to turn 18?” She said questioned raising her eyebrow looking at all three of them “the only one that should be calling you senpai is literally my sister” She said pointing at you the two still continued to walk

The three boys were quiet for a second before

“YOUR ABOUT TO TURN 18?!” They all yelled in unison

Aaliyah winced at the loud noise frowning

“Shut up your voices” She said bluntly, glaring at the three before walking to the what seemed like a gate and typing in some numbers on a keypad

The gate was steel black with the word “I” in a fancy font in the center of the gate showing what the boys only assumed to be your residences

They boys stared in awe never seeing something like this before

“Woah, I didn’t think your house would be on a hill I have never seen something like this before” Daichi said in a amazement

“Yeah, due to both of our parents and who they are we can afford something like this!” You said smiling looking up to the house on the hill

“Cool!” Noya said staring in amazement

“Wow, I wonder how I can only imagine how big it is on the inside” Sugawara said out loud as the gate opened up

Allowing Aaliyah and you access inside the gated estate

“Maybe next time the volleyball team can come over, and we can have dinner at my place! My parents wouldn’t mind I am sure” You said walking past the gate inside

You kept walking to catch up with Aaliyah being a couple steps behind her as you turned around smiling at the boys waving one of your arms

“BYE SENPAIS SEE YOU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL!!!” You shouted smiling happy

You saw them clutch there shirts were their hearts were at as they were visable heart struck in a good way

You eventually caught up to Aaliyah as you smiled up to her she looked down at you with a visable bored face as she ruffled your hair like always

You two walked up the hill as you got inside and mostly you told your parents about everything that happened today making them have a smile

“You knew moving out of the country would be so fun” You thought before you fell asleep

END👩🏾‍🦯✨

——————————————————————————

A/n: Just to clear up a few things

( this is what the house mansion looks like from the back of it, this is we’re you live, yes your rich)

(This is what the front of the house looks like but without the steam coming from the water)

( this is the gate that opened in case you couldn’t picture it, but instead of a B there is a I on since it’s your last name)

(This is what your sister looks like she is the one on the right, yes your sister is POC don’t worry about the girl next to her that’s just another one of my OC’s that won’t be included in the story)

(Also let me clarify, you play volleyball and Aaliyah plays basketball)

Thanks for reading see you in the next chapter - Puddle ❤️

Chapter 2 is here !!!

Chapter Story Board

[transrightsjimin]

i was tagged by @soulmates7 thank you!!

7 ALBUMS GAME

Rules: Make an image HERE of your top 7 albums, just type in the name and select the album. This can be top 7 of all time or this year or whatever you’d like. 

ok i couldnt choose at all so now i have two images

but also i worked for 6+ hours on looking up bands i had seen live or used to listen to more often and i made a list with albums and singles that i have repeated / re-visited a lot or that simply mean a lot to me nd that i’d recommend to others. it was a bit hard to make bc i also love a lot of songs that are single releases with only 1-2 songs, but i don’t listen to them like you would to a longer single / mini album / full albums. i wanted to include laboum’s full length albums (two of us and low pop wow) but those sadly have the lowest production value in most of the songs so i cannot enjoy those fully. there’s also some older plastic tree albums from the 1990s that are hard to access for listeners so i can’t add those. anyway this is the full list (in progress) lol

CHECK IN GAME

1. How has your day been?

quite ok! i slept for 9 hours thats fucking wild, idk how that happened but im grateful! did cry abt gender stuff and am a bit frustrated abt how i took so many hours to look into old albums instead of do useful stuff, but it was very fun and inspiring.

2. What’s the last thing that made you smile?

hmm idk? i dont rly like, keep track of when i do or dont smile when im not in public hgghkjg

maybe the halloween pictures my mom sent me from her home? those were fun. or maybe my friend. idk i was quite cheerful / neutral this morning but since later in the afternoon i had a dip(?)

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

uhmmm ive been recently watching halloween-related videos by Abby Green on youtube and rly enjoy her vids on makeup and halloween films and other chitchat and her makeup looks are so cute! also im watching sabrinah the teenage witch episodes from time to time w my friend in the evenings, though we also watched more of stuff recently like goosebumps episodes and films and the griezelbus film and carrie yesterday. we also watch a bunch of other shows but im not too entertained by them, i just find it hard to look away hjfdkhg

4. If you are in some kind of quarantine/self-isolation, what do you hope to achieve in this time?

uh i dont know? my country has never had a real full lockdown but i of c do try to limit going outside aside from working hours, though life hasnt been much different from pre-pandemic as i rarely do fun stuff anyway. i was always inside at home for most of the time but i dont do super exciting stuff here too bc i’ve probably never gotten out of my burnout i got in 2013. i did recently watch stuff together w friends online like watch bts stuff or try to dance together but everyone is either busy or has shitty connection nd it just didnt rly work.

i mean i do want to help better my mental health through CGT and giving myself more structure nd being stricter w bedtime. i rly hope my mental health will get better but idk if i can bc the CGT appointments are 12 in total and after that the therapy stops. it rly sucks but i accepted the offer as i otherwise would be on another waiting list elsewhere too and at the previous place i had therapy for several years, i kept getting new therapists regularly too bc of stuff like their contracts ending or pregancy so i guess im used to not being able to see a therapist for a long time. so idk.

i want to get better mental health and better concentration. i also just need to get a stupid fucking job bc while i dont want to work at all, i have to to be able to live and i need a reason to get out of bed every day to go somewhere so i would have more structure and be less depressed. i mean i could say i want to draw more and dance and read more but ive been saying that for years and i still rarely do it bc im so demotivated nd have worsened focus for years and my special interests are all over the place so i never think about getting stuff done while i really should.

5. Post selfie, if you’re comfortable doing so

from a while ago. it gave me 70s vibes somehow, i like it

LAST SONG

versailles - prince (got bored so i quit playing the song)

LAST SAVED PICTURE

the downscaled selfie and 7 album pictures above

tagging: @princeshojo @lampshroomomg​  @trespassers-will @baepsrae