#... I'll probably churn out some hurt/comfort

[we-are-the-multitude]

I finally watched the new god damn episode and DAMN IT.

GAY PEOPLE ARE REAL, AND THEY'RE COMING FOR MY HEART SPECIFICALLY!

[luveline]

what about reader being stressed and feeling really bad due the amount of blood and how wild the murder happened in a mission and hotch comforts her?? i really love your work and i hope you write but of course it's okay if you are not comfortable with it!! though i crave some hurt/comfort right now 🥹 take care, we love you 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ty for requesting, i love u! fem!reader

You're used to depravity, but the body cannot truly desensitise itself from carnage. You shouldn't know the inside of a person like that, shouldn't be able to pinpoint gore with the accuracy of a mortician. You feel sick knowing what was supposed to be where. Enough blood to kick down the door and have it flood the hallway, stain your shoes with a permanent rust. 

You turn away from the scene, sirens and shouting white noise, and leave blood footsteps like a breadcrumb trail down the paving stones, huge slabs of white grey printed by wet soles. You're just past the red flash of the ambulances when you freeze, your legs won't carry you. You've no choice but to sit down hard in the road. 

There's just blood everywhere. No metaphor to soften the blow, no explanation. There was blood everywhere in the crime scene and it took less than ten minutes inside of it to be plastered with it too. 

Blood and cold floor. The road is cold, maybe wet, seeping into your trousers. You put your hand down and feel the dirty bite of it pressing into your palm.

Considering his duties, Hotch finds you quickly. You'd know him from presence alone, but hiding hand is familiar on your back. He crouches down behind you. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, second hand curling around your shirt. "You can't sit here. Can I help you up?" 

You manage to get to your feet by yourself. Hotch walks you to a car like you're injured, leaning you against the hood. "What's wrong?" he asks. 

You shake your head. This isn't some slasher flick where the blood is sugar syrup and everyone goes home, this is your life, that was somebody's life, and to be killed in such a violent way… nobody deserves that. Your arms twist around your stomach as your stomach twists into itself, churning. 

Hotch watches you severely. Anyone might think he was pissed with your behaviour, but he isn't like that. He's probably pissed he can't immediately fix the problem, arms crossed against his chest, the font of his SWAT vest glaringly white. He's neat and official as always, but there's blood on his shoes. 

You try to talk and it's like your lips are gummed shut, a hum with nothing intelligible as you lean forward. 

Hotch gives in. He breathes out, the barest ghost of his cologne distracting you from the smell of rust as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. You curl your fingers into the strap of his vest, quick to press your face into his side, wherever you can that's softest. 

"I know," he says quietly, his arms tightening around you. The slide of his sleeves against your shirt, the sound that it makes, feels loud as a bell. 

You hadn't realised you were shaking. Hotch tries to wring it out of you one steady stroke of his hand at a time. You can imagine his viewpoint, your feeble position on the car and the white washed crime scene behind you. They'll be setting up the flood lights and taking photographs soon enough, no bodies to lay to rest, only gore to wash away. 

"I didn't think we could save them," you confess into his shirt, ashamed.

When he replies, it's measured, as though he's thought about his response carefully in little time. "That's realistic. This case has been… heavy from the beginning." 

Heavy isn't the word he would usually choose. He's talking to you, he knows exactly how you're feeling because he knows you well, and cares about you more, if his cheek pressed to your temple is anything to go off of. "I have to go coordinate," he says, his thumb rubbing with pressure into your shoulder blade, "I'm sorry. I'll get Reid to come sit with you in the SUV… Y/N, listen to me…" Hotch leans back, meeting your eyes. "There was nothing more we could do. I'm confident that you performed to the best of your ability. This outcome– this isn't what anyone wanted, and I'm sorry we couldn't fix it this time." 

"I just don't get how you can do that to another person," you say. Why you'd want to. You're a profiler, and you know a wealth of information about what makes certain people act as they do, but you still can't empathise with the killer. It's too much; it's beyond explanation.

"That's a good thing." His hands squeeze the tops of your arms. "It is." 

You look down at his shirt collar, thinking you probably don't deserve his comforting. This is your job, and tonight you couldn't do it. "Sorry I– I freaked out. I shouldn't have walked away." 

"That's a good thing, too, in a way."

He offers you a small smile. You can't smile back, but Hotch doesn't mind, his hands falling down the lengths of your arms. His fingers tangle momentarily with yours. 

Reid comes around to sit with you when Hotch leaves. He probably wouldn't have needed telling, your friend's hand curling over your shoulder protectively.

"You okay?" he asks. 

You watch Hotch lead his jurisdiction of operations. Things aren't okay, you're far from it, but you trust that it'll get better with Hotch at the helm. Still, a bitter taste lingers. 

"They won't be," you say, nodding to the crowd of people behind the rapidly erected barricade. At the very front is someone's mom. 

"Not for a while." Spencer tries to lighten the mood, throwing you a life jacket. "You're his favourite, you know?" 

You recall the subtle strength of Hotch's arms around you, the lean length of his torso and the warmth of his breath as he'd spoken in your ear. Without trying for it, your pulse calms. Your despair dulls to an ache. 

"You think so?" you ask. 

Hotch looks in your direction, checking on you. Spencer nods. "Definitely." He has a list of interrelated BAU statistics to prove it.

[cece693]

you wrote about the mad hatter so well... i don't want to overwhelm you, obviously, but i would love a 2nd part!! and maybe in the future you can write some smut scenario with him? 😶‍🌫️

You're Not Crazy Pt. 2 (The Mad Hatter x M! Reader)

Here's the second part :) I'm iffy on writing smut for the Hatter since he's so childlike and I think he wouldn't go that far with someone, he probably finds kissing pleasurable enough, but who knows. I'll probably end up doing it 🤷‍♀️

tags: angst, happy ending, the reader tries to say goodbye, mentions of Alice, the reader is an idiot, but redeems himself

The Hatter's words stung, but you couldn't stay with him. You didn’t belong to Wonderland, as much as you envisioned yourself adapting to the world. You didn’t share its whimsical madness, its strange logic that defied all reason. You loved its colors, its characters—especially him—but deep down, you felt like an outsider playing pretend in a place that wasn’t truly yours.

So, you left.

Back in the real world, everything felt strangely muted. The once-familiar streets seemed dull and lifeless, lacking the vibrancy of Wonderland. Your sister Alice noticed your somber mood almost immediately. She’d seen you come back looking tired or perplexed before, but never like this. It was as if the life was sucked out of you; You weren’t yourself. She knew something big must've happened to put you in such a state.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the room, Alice found you sitting by the window, staring off into the distance. She approached quietly, her voice soft. “You’ve been awfully quiet since you got back. What happened in Wonderland?"

You hesitated, the words sat heavily on your tongue, reluctant to be spoken. How could you even begin to describe what had transpired in Wonderland? The way the air had seemed to still when the Hatter looked at you with those wild eyes, the hurt lurking behind his laughter? But after a moment, you sighed and decided to open up, knowing Alice would pester you otherwise.

“The Hatter…he told me to leave. He said I should return home. So, I did.”

Alice watched you carefully, her brow furrowed with concern. “But why would he say that?” she asked softly. She knew the Hatter was eccentric and unpredictable, but she had seen how he looked at you, how his eyes lit up whenever you were near.

You shook your head, frustration mixing with the ache in your chest. “I don’t know.” you admitted, though it wasn’t entirely true. “I think…I think he was afraid. Afraid I’d leave on my own someday, find something more important than him.” Your voice wavered, and you clenched your fists to steady yourself. “He wanted to push me away before I could do it to him.”

Alice remained silent for a moment, her expression softening as she pieced together what you weren’t saying. “So, you just left because he told you to?” she asked, not accusingly but with a kind of gentle reproach. “Without telling him how you felt?”

You looked down, guilt settling like a stone in your stomach. “I thought it was what he wanted.” you murmured. “I didn’t want to hurt him more by staying. But leaving…it felt wrong, too. It still does.”

Alice reached out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “You men and your pride,” she said with a soft chuckle. “You’re both acting like fools. You know that, right?”

“What do you mean?”

She smiled, patient and knowing. “I mean that sometimes, people say things they don’t mean because they’re scared of being hurt. The Hatter’s a complicated man, but he’s not so different from anyone else in that way. You need to go back and talk to him. Really talk to him. Otherwise, you’ll never know what could’ve been.”

Her words struck a chord deep within you, resonating with the doubts and hopes that had been churning inside you since you left. She was right—you couldn’t leave things like this, with both of you hiding behind unspoken fears. You had to face it, face him, and figure out what you truly wanted.

Returning to Wonderland was like stepping back into a dream, one that you’d missed desperately in your time away. The colors were brighter, the sounds sharper, yet everything felt strangely muted by the tension in your chest. As you made your way back to the tea party clearing, you could feel your heart pounding harder with every step, a mix of anxiety and anticipation.

When you arrived, you found the Hatter sitting at his usual spot at the head of the long, cluttered table. He was hunched over, a hat perched lopsided on his head, his fingers busy stitching a ribbon that looked like it was fraying at the ends. His back was to you, but the moment he heard your footsteps crunching on the gravel, he stiffened ever so slightly.

“I didn’t expect you back so soon,” he said, his tone light and airy, but you could hear the strain in it—like a string pulled too tight. “Come to say a proper goodbye?”

You took a deep breath, stepping closer, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on your shoulders. “Yes, but I want to do it right. I don't want to leave with things unresolved between us."

The Hatter turned to face you slowly, his usual mad grin stretching across his face, but it was different this time. His eyes, usually bright and wild, were shadowed, clouded with something you couldn’t quite place. “Well then,” he said, forcing a laugh that sounded more like a broken sigh, “goodbye it is! Off you go, then! Don’t let the rabbit hole hit you on the way out!”

Without thinking, you reached out and pulled him into a hug. His body went rigid at first, as if he didn’t know how to react. You could feel his rapid breaths against your chest, hear the hitch in his throat as he struggled to keep up the façade. Then, slowly, he softened, his arms coming up to clutch at your back, holding you as if you were the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.

“Why are you doing this?” he whispered, his voice cracking, caught somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “Why are you making this so hard?”

“Because I don’t want to leave you,” you confessed, your voice thick with emotion. “But I don’t know how to stay when I feel like I don’t belong here.”

The Hatter pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “You do belong. To me, you do.”

His words pierced through you, breaking down the last of your defenses. You thought you had made up your mind to leave, to return to the real world where everything made sense, where things followed rules. But in that moment, nothing made sense without him.

You stepped back, letting go of him even though it hurt. “Goodbye, Hatter.” you said softly, turning away. “I’ll miss you.”

As you started up the path that would take you back home, every step felt like dragging a weight behind you. You reached the midway point, the fork in the path where one route would lead you back to reality. You paused, your heart aching with each second that passed. You glanced back, your breath catching in your throat when you saw him still standing there, watching you leave with a look of pure devastation.

You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t leave him like this.

Turning on your heel, you sprinted back down the path, the wind whipping against your face as you ran. You didn’t stop until you were right in front of him again. His eyes widened in shock, his lips parting to ask something, but you didn’t give him the chance. You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him, pouring all the emotion you’d been holding back into that kiss—your fear, your love, your need to stay.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, he stared at you, his eyes wide and searching. “You…you came back?”

“I did,” you said, smiling through the tears in your eyes. “If you’ll have me. I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, he looked as if he didn’t believe you, his gaze darting over your face as if trying to find some hint of doubt or hesitation. But then his lips slowly curved into a smile—a real, genuine smile that lit up his entire face. “Oh, yes. Yes, indeed! And we shall have tea every day, and perhaps cake, and perhaps something more delightful!”

You laughed, a lightness settling over you that you hadn’t felt in days. “Sounds like a plan.”

[spencersssockss]

Not roller coasters

Summary: it's yours and Spencer third anniversary, the two of you go to the local fair, and you try and pretend you don't despise roller coasters.

Warnings: a little fluff, roller coaster, mentions of food…

Word count: 900

It was your three-year anniversary with Spencer, the two of you went to a local fair.

It was littered with food and carnival rides, the food ranging from elephant ears to pizza, and the rides ranging from swings to roller coasters.

Spencer had no idea, but, you were terrified of roller coasters. He loved them though, so you decided that for the sake of Spencer's fun, you would completely ignore your fear for the night and ride one with him.

The first ride the two of you went on was just a regular old Ferris wheel. It was romantic and the two of you shared a kiss before getting off.

Right across from it sat an incredibly fast and long roller coaster, which of course caught Spencer's eyes.

“We need to go on that one!” “But we should probably get some food first that loop looks like quite the stomach purge,” Spencer said excitedly grabbing your hand and walking over to the concession stands.

“Yeah, that'll be fun,” you replied smiling nervously luckily going unnoticed as Spencer was much more invested in what he was going to get to eat.

“Do you wanna get French fries to share, so we're not too stuffed for our reservation tonight?” he asked looking up at you.

“Yeah that's good, you order that and I'll grab us lemonade from over there,” you say pointing to the lemonade stand across from the food.

“Okay, I’ll save us seats,” Spencer smiled getting in line and watching you walk to the lemonade.

The line was huge for the lemonade, you swore it took forever to finally make it up to the window, but when you did it was pure heaven. The lemonade was freshly squeezed and came in a pretty bottle. You ordered and went back to Spencer at the table he grabbed for the two of you.

He patted the seat next to him and smiled, “That took forever that lemonade better be worth it,” he joked grabbing a French fry and tossing it into his mouth.

“Oh it will be, I watched them make it, they put like four fresh lemons in it,” you replied handing him it and grabbing a fry. He sipped it carefully and his eyes went wide as he swallowed it.

“Oh my, that is good,” he mumbled raking another drink before sitting it down.

“Are you excited about the roller coaster?” he asked smiling again making your stomach churn.

“Yeah, it looks super cool!” you say masking your nervousness by taking a drink of the lemonade.

It took roughly fifteen minutes for the two of you to finish your drinks and fries, but it felt like an eternity to you.

Spencer grabbed your hand after throwing the empty cup and tray away and the two of you began walking to the roller coaster.

There was practically nobody in the line so the two of you got to get on immediately.

The seats were regular-sized and they had a buckle and a bar, making you wonder about what made them put both there. You shivered at the thought of someone flying out and getting hurt.

“The ride will begin in a minute, please keep your arms and legs inside the ride,” the operator spoke making you look over at Spencer.

He had the biggest smile on his face, but as soon as he saw the frown covering yours he asked, “What's wrong?” grabbing your hand once again gently.

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, looking away.

“Y/n, you don't like roller coasters do you?” he asked his gaze on you softening. Before you could get any words out the ride started, flying across the tracks and making you scream.

Spencer's hands wrapped around your waist gently and he comforted you. You, you were just hanging on for dear life.

The ride went around for what seemed like forever, Spencer felt bad the whole time.

He wanted to know why you didn't tell him, he though maybe you thought he would be mad, or make fun of you, but the truth was he just wanted you to enjoy the day just as much as he was.

The ride finally came to a stop and the two of you say in silence for a minute until the bar lifted.

“You may exit the ride on your left,” the intercom spoke you and Spencer got up from your seat and walked off the platform.

He immediately wrapped you into a hug, whispering in your ear, “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I was trying to give you the best anniversary ever,” you responded your eyes beginning to water.

“This is our anniversary, not mine, we're both going to enjoy it, not just me,” he said his voice full of sympathy. “You didn't have to do that,” he added frowning.

“I know, I just felt bad, your eyes lit up when you saw it and I didn't want to take that joy away from you.”

“I would've been happy doing something you would've enjoyed too,” he smiled softly, pecking your lips gently. “Promise me you'll never force yourself to do something like that again?” he asked holding his pinky finger out.

“I promise,” you reply wrapping your pinky around his and walking out of the fair to your dinner reservation.

[chronicbeans]

Man I was wondering how your wally would react if the reader was called out on a date or got a kiss on the mouth in front of him...

I just wanted to know how wally would be jealous ( maybe deep down he also wants to kiss the reader and take it to a meeting )

OH BOY! This is going to be fun! I'll write two small little sets for this. One for a reader who is in the Welcome Home world (like a puppet reader) and one for a puppeteer reader (I'll just call him Puppet Wally for this).

Welcome Home Wally: Clinginess Intensifies

🍎 He is so confused when he sees someone kissing you. Mainly because he doesn't even know what happened. He knows what a blow kiss is, but that wasn't a blow kiss... that was something different entirely!

🍎 He also has the new experience of his chest hurting and an odd, churning feeling in his stomach. It isn't pleasant... He also kinda wants to cry for some reason. He doesn't like this one bit.

🍎 He'll go over to Poppy's Barn to ask her for help! Frank is smart, yes... but he isn't very good with the odd feelings Wally sometimes gets. Poppy is, though! So, when she explains that the feeling is jealousy, Wally is intrigued! He does feel a little bad, because you didn't seem to mind whatever happened... So, why should he? If you are happy with them, why should he feel jealous?

🍎 He also finds himself holding a grudge against whoever he saw with you. Doesn't matter who, even if it is one of his own friends. He feels bad for glaring and staring at them... it always scares them away... but he can't help it! He just feels so upset! As Poppy said, jealousy makes you do crazy things!

🍎 Maybe he can get one of... whatever happened with you and the other person, too? Specifically with you, of course. He really likes that idea! It would give him a chance to be close to you, both emotionally and physically. Kinda like a hug, but different! What, Frank? It's called a kiss? Well, Wally wants a kiss! He won't force you to, but he still wants one!

Puppet Wally: ... Curious. Panicked, but curious.

🍎 What just happened? Why did that one creature just do that to his Puppeteer? Wait, it wants to take you where? To a movie? ... WAIT ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE HIM-

🍎 He doesn't like whatever is happening. He doesn't know what that other creature just did, but he doesn't like it! They got close to you! Only he should be that close. A puppet and puppeteer should have the closest bond and proximity out of everyone and everything, in his eyes. Not only that, but that creature caused you to make plans to leave him! Not fair!

🍎 He can and WILL find a way to make you change your plans. He doesn't like hurting people, but if he has to, he will. Also, to be fair, he probably doesn't even realize he is doing it half the time.

🍎 Oh, what's that? Henry got sick on the day that you were meant to go out with that creature? You found paint in his bowl of cereal you made him? Oh, don't blame Wally! Wally didn't know any better. Wally doesn't understand that some things are toxic to non-puppets. Well... Maybe he did a little. He just didn't expect Henry to get THAT sick. You need to take him to the hospital, now? Take Wally with you! Children love to cuddle plush things for comfort, right? Also, don't make anymore plans without him! If you do, Henry might get sick, again. For reasons completely unrelated to Wally.

🍎 Whatever it is that monster that made you make plans with it did, can you do it with Wally? Pretty please? It is just so he can learn what it is that happened, he swears! If you do it, he won't put anymore paint in anyone's food.

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 26 of ? | masterpost

word count: 2085 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I let out a quiet, pained noise, frightened and hurt like some scared critter stumbling into the lion's lair. James's eyes flicked up, catching mine for the briefest fraction of a second, shock and regret dancing in his blue gaze before I pivoted and beelined it out through the kitchen door.

✦ summary: Despite choosing to remain by Dave's side, Nore finds that getting over her feelings for James is harder than she thought it would be.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female!oc, james hetfield x female! oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, love triangle, drinking, recreational drug use, jealousy

✧ you got me wrapped around your finger, do you have to let it linger? ✧

The guys' last weekend in Los Angeles rolled around real quick, kicking off on a slightly chilly Saturday that practically begged for an afternoon tucked under the covers. We cooked up our own version of coziness; Cliff threw an invite my way to chill at Mike's place, puffing on some smokes and sipping drinks while diving into a stack of horror movies Kirk had snagged.

Running into James again was just about as awkward as I'd braced myself for. He gave me a somewhat normal greeting, but the turmoil in his eyes had my heart doing an uncomfortable squeeze. To top it off, he had Pat in tow, showing up at Mike's with this big grin, hand-in-hand with James, their intertwined fingers betraying a closeness I'd rather not have known existed.

I tried to brush that off, though. After all, I had made my choice, hadn't I? Coming back home later that night, I knew I'd land in the comfort of Dave's arms, and whatever leftover turmoil would get washed out like rainwater. With time, the pain and sadness in James' eyes would likely fade. And perhaps, we could go back to being just good friends, sweeping those stolen moments from that autumn under the rug like they never happened.

We kicked back in Mike's basement, popping those tapes into his brand new VHS player. Kirk and Lars posted up on the carpet, Kirk sprawled out with his head in Lars's lap, dropping the occasional comment about film quality or some backstage scoop. Cliff, Mike, and I settled onto one of the couches, passing around a joint, while James and Pat claimed the other one. As the beer stash ran dry, a pizza got ordered, and I started to chill out as the mix of booze and weed took hold.

We all glanced up at the doorbell's ring — probably the pizza delivery. James hopped up to get it, trotting up the stairs with a beer in hand. Pat eyed him for a sec, then decided to trail along. Mike sparked up another joint, which I happily took a hit from before passing it over to Cliff.

"Hey, did you guys know this movie set caught fire during filming?" Kirk tossed out as scenes from The Exorcist flickered on the screen. "They even brought in a priest to bless the joint afterward."

"Wow, spooky," Lars chimed in, sarcastically. Kirk nudged him hard. "Hey!" Lars laughed.

"Hey, Lars, toss me another beer," I casually asked, absentmindedly eyeing the bottom of my empty bottle.

"Ah, I think we're tapped out. Time for a run upstairs."

"I got it," Cliff mumbled, his words a bit slurred as he attempted to stand.

"I'll roll with you then," I chimed in, getting up and stretching with a sigh. "Might as well grab a round for everyone."

The two of us hauled ourselves up the stairs, the steps feeling way trickier to navigate than they should in my slightly buzzed state. Once we hit the kitchen, Cliff cracked open the fridge, hunting down the beer bottles.

I shot my brows up with a grin when I spotted the two pizza boxes chilling on the table, my stomach churning with post-smoking and drinking hunger. I popped open the box, snagged a slice, and chomped down, letting out a satisfied sigh as the warm cheese exploded in my mouth, eyes shutting in a little moan of delight.

My tiny moment of food ecstasy got cut short by the distant hum of laughter. I blinked, curious, realizing I hadn't laid eyes on James and Pat since they jetted upstairs for the pizzas. But if the pizzas were in the kitchen, where the hell were they?

Looking back, maybe tracking down the muffled chuckles echoing down the hallway was a lousy move. But I was riding a bit higher on intoxication than I expected, and a self-destructive curiosity just started creeping into my chest. I crept up to the living room door, halting in silence when I caught sight of James and Pat holding court in the center of the room, huddled up and chatting in hushed tones.

I don't know what hit me first, tearing my heart into a million pieces; maybe it was the way Pat's eyes lit up, her hands resting on James' chest while he gripped her waist, the phantom memory of his fingers on my hips stirring uncomfortably in my chest. Or maybe it was the way they talked and chuckled, clearly lost in their own little world. Or, what the hell, it could even have been the gentle kiss he laid on her lips, sprinkled with sweet nothings meant just for her.

I let out a quiet, pained noise, frightened and hurt like some scared critter stumbling into the lion's lair. James's eyes flicked up, catching mine for the briefest fraction of a second, shock and regret dancing in his blue gaze before I pivoted and beelined it out through the kitchen door.

I gulped down the cool evening air and shut my eyes, tears hanging on and refusing to fall. My hands shook a bit as I slapped them on the porch frame, the wood cold against my skin. I jumped when the door creaked open again, but it wasn't James; Cliff's worried eyes locked onto mine, sadness creeping in at the sorry sight I must've been.

"Cliff..." I said, my voice shaky and tearful before he stepped up, wrapping me in a solid hug.

I buried my face in his chest, letting out heavy sobs as tears flowed down my face, like a dam that had held back way too much. Cliff just held on, running his fingers through my hair as he kept me close. As awful as it all was, I felt relieved as well — like those tears were letting go of some of the crap I'd been carrying around for weeks. When I finally eased up, I pulled back with a sigh, tears still rolling down as I sniffled, trying to wipe them away with my fingertips.

“Ah, shit. Sorry, I totally soaked you," I mumbled, my voice all choked up as I noticed the tear stains on Cliff's shirt. He snorted.

“Screw that, Nore. Want a beer?” He lifted one hand, and I spotted he was carrying a plastic bag with the beers he’d grabbed from the fridge. I nodded, thankful. He plunked the bag down, grabbed one for me and one for himself, and we leaned against the porch railing. “So, spill it. What the hell happened?"

"You know what happened," I mumbled, holding back a sob. I took a swig of the cold beer, the bitter kick helping me calm down a bit. Cliff sighed.

"It's James, huh?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't get it," he said, and I looked up, raising my eyebrows when our eyes connected. "If you're into him, why not figure things out? You know he likes you too."

"Apparently, not that much," I grumbled, and he snorted.

"Nore, no offense, but if the girl I liked kept turning me down, I'd probably try to move on too. Maybe not jump into something else... but I don't know if I'd keep pushing after getting rejected as much as he has with you."

“I... “ my voice broke, and I sighed. "Cliff, I'm with Dave. I made my choice. He needs me... I won't bail on him. Not for James, not for anyone. But that doesn't mean I don't feel..." I stopped, the lump in my throat preventing me from talking. Cliff sighed before pulling me into a tight hug.

"It'll pass." He kissed my hair, and I nodded.

"I know."

"If it helps, I find her damn annoying. And I doubt those two will last more than three months." He murmured, clearly trying to make me feel better. I chuckled softly.

"Think we can still be friends after this?"

“Totally, Nore. Just gotta figure out where you both stand. But if you've made your call... Well, he'll have to get that, babe. Just give him some space, and cut yourself some slack too."

"If you weren't Bay Area's best bass player, I'd swear you missed your calling as a shrink," I teased, and he burst into laughter. I shot him a look, a soft, affectionate grin playing on my lips. It was reassuring to know that even in the middle of this mess, Cliff would always be there for me. "Thanks, Cliff."

"No worries. We got each other's backs, right?" He grinned and messed up my hair. I let out a soft laugh. "Plus, no one messes with my fave cousin."

"I'm your only cousin." I quipped, echoing his usual comeback, and he grinned.

"Exactly. Hey, you're not bailing, right? Wanna head back inside? Kirk might think we hated the flicks."

"Well, he wouldn't be totally off the mark," I swiped away the last of my tears with the back of my hand but made my way to the kitchen door with a sigh. "But let's go back."

As we stepped in, I noticed that James and Pat had vanished from the living room. No clue where James had wandered off to, and honestly, I wasn't itching to find out for the first time in forever. I paused for a beat, my eyes lingering on Mike's phone before a sudden determination took over.

"Cliff," I called, and he shot me a questioning look. "You go ahead; I'll catch up, alright? Got a call to make."

"Sure thing. You sure you don't want me to stick around?"

"Nah, all good. Seriously," I reassured him. He gave my face a once-over before nodding, taking the beers back with him to the basement.

I grabbed the phone, pressing it against my ear, hesitating for just a moment before punching in the number I knew by heart, even though it had been ages since I dialed it.

"Hello?" My mom's voice came through, causing my heart to skip a beat.

I was aware that this number, her personal office line, was the only one she personally picked up. No assistants or housekeepers screening calls. But despite that, a weird tension crawled over me at the sound of her voice. I paused for a sec before diving in:

"Hey, Mom. It's me."

“Eleanore?” she inquired, surprise coming through her voice. “What's going on? Did something happen?" 

"Nah, everything's okay," I murmured, my voice slightly shaky. "I just... I..."

“Are you okay, dear? Were you crying, by any chance?”

“No, I'm fine. I'm fine,” I sighed, closing my eyes. "Actually, I called about that school offer."

"Oh? Tell me what's on your mind," I could feel my mother's tone of voice instantly changing, shifting to the interested and sharp tone she used during her negotiations. 

"I'm taking it. But I want to focus on art, Mom. Not law or business. Just art."

"Alright. I'll have Alice look into the best art schools in the state, maybe even the whole country. We can explore international options if you're interested. You'll get a top-notch art education. But you remember your end of the deal, right?"

"Getting involved in the family business, understanding the ropes, so I can handle things when you and Dad can't. Yeah, I remember," I confirmed in a low voice, aware that this was the most challenging part of the deal.

Business never floated my boat, especially the whole legal operations deal with my family's law firm. But the payoff was too sweet to pass up. And maybe a major life change was exactly what I needed.

"Good call," my mom chimed in, and I could practically picture her smiling. "I'll talk with your father. You'll come back for Christmas, right? We can discuss it in more detail then. Feel free to bring your... Boyfriend along if you want."

The rest of the conversation was a bit of a blur. I knew I'd just made a call that would steer my life for the next few years. No clue if I'd regret it or what kind of person it'd turn me into. But I would do anything to beat the heartache gnawing at my chest. Maybe I was running away. Maybe I just wanted to ditch the sadness.

Perhaps I just wanted to wipe clean the pained look James and I exchanged moments ago. Maybe I wanted to forget that he chose not to come after me, not to offer me any comfort.

But did any of it really matter?

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777

[i--am--the--sheep]

If I Don't Sleep (I'll Never Dream) [ch 4]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

Rei’s sleep started dreamless.  He wishes it would have stayed that way.

It starts with memories of the dogs.  Rei always had cared for animals.  It was his father’s first lesson – don’t care for anything but yourself.  He hears them before he sees them, snapping and growling on their chains.  They were raised to fight – aggression sewn into their sinews and soaked into their bones by a life of torture.  They were alive for the same reason as he was: violence.

His father takes him outside, pressing a knife into his palm.  He’s silent, but the look in his eyes is clear.  Only one of you will leave this field.  The dream turns into a flurry of pain, and blood, and gore, before the scene suddenly changes with the loud ringing of a gunshot.  He failed.

Things shift.  He’s staring down at Kazuki’s mutilated, bullet-riddled body.  He’s covered with blood.  The gun is in his hand.  This is his fault, he’s killed the one person he cares about.  He can hear a child crying – Miri?  

“Papa?”  He looks up, sees her cowering in the corner, weeping and spattered in crimson.  He can feel himself reach to her, hold her, comfort her, something, and she yelps.  Her arms are over her head, shielding herself as best she can.  “Please, papa,” is all she can cry out before her form fades and dissolves into dust.  

Things shift again.  He’s trapped, backed into a corner.  His father, his boss, is stalking towards him.  Suddenly, Rei is seventeen again, and he’s just fucked up his first big kill.  He’s certain that this is it.  This is the time the beating goes too far, the knife goes to deep, the blood flows too readily.  And he’s terrified.  He’s back to being some scared kid.  He’s sure everything and everyone is out to hurt him – the world, his father, himself.   

“Rei!”  His father’s voice is overwhelming, an all-encompassing storm of rage and wrath.  He gets close.  “Rei!  Rei!” 

He wakes with a start.  Someone is shaking his shoulders.  “Jesus, are you okay?” 

It’s sheer instinct.  One hand is around his assailant’s throat in a heartbeat, the other reaching for the weapons stowed beneath his pillow.  He doesn’t find one.

“Hey, hey, its me!”  A familiar voice barks at him, and Rei’s eyes focus in, his heart thudding in his chest.  Kazuki.  His hand recoils.

“You’re in my room, remember?  I don’t keep stuff there.”  Kazuki nods to where Rei’s hand is still under the pillow, grasping for some sort of knife or gun.  “They’re usually in the nightstand.  Moved ‘em though, you’re jumpy as all hell.”

Rei’s pulse slows, and he grumbles an apology that Kazuki wasn’t concerned about receiving.  

“Nah, my fault for waking you.  You were shaking pretty badly, wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Rei knows Kazuki doesn’t usually pry unless he needs to.  He could shrug, give absolutely no answer, and the two of them would return to whatever they were doing.  But that seems hurtful, after all Kazuki has done, after what they’ve been through.  Rei doesn’t think he cares about being hurtful.  Maybe he does with Kazuki.

On the other end, talking, sharing, seems daunting.  It makes his stomach churn.  Things like this stir up such a strong reaction from him.  He figures its probably because the other times he brought anything like this up at his father’s house, he’d get beaten within an inch of his life.  His bones ache just thinking about it.  

He ponders for a moment, thinking.  

“Nightmare.”  Just enough information to make Kazuki happy, not so much that Rei would throw up.  Kazuki hummed in acknowledgement.  Silence stretches on for a bit before Kazuki pipes up.

“Can I touch?”  He always asks.  Rei sometimes nods.  Today is one of those sometimes.

Kazuki moves behind him, and Rei expects him to maybe untangle the knots in his hair, or dig his thumbs into the knots in his shoulders.  He’s not expecting to have his partner draped over his back, chin resting on Rei’s shoulder.  Kazuki’s all lean muscle, heavy on his spine, and it feels nice.  Grounding.  

“Kyu said Miri’s been asking for you.  Wants to know when she can come play Mario Kart.”

Rei huffs out half a snicker, bittersweet at the thought of her.  “Does… Does she know?”

“Kyu told her you got hurt in an accident.  That’s all.”  

“...When will she be back?”

Kazuki barks out a laugh.  “What, don’t tell me you miss that little devil?”

Most days, he would have backpedaled.  Taken it back, sworn he didn’t care to keep up appearances.  But its just them, and Kazuki’s weight on his back feels safe.

“Maybe a little.”  Kazuki doesn’t tease or goad, just nods.

“Me too.  Kyu won’t let her stay for too long.  He gets sick of making smoothies and shakes for her.  Just… Just need to make sure everyone is okay first.”

Rei knows that’s mostly about him.  He doesn’t ever feel okay.  Hasn’t for a while.  Doesn’t really feel okay now.  

It does feel a little bit better than usual though, here in Kazuki’s arms.

[sickficideas]

SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT KUNIKIDA HAS IBS?? 😭

I mean, this man is always so stressed and nervous, I imagine him coming back home after a long work day and curling up in bed and clutching his stomach because it feels so sore and nauseous... I WANT TO COMFORT HIM SO BAD.

ANON...ANON...!!!! I know this wasn't technically a request but you are such a genius I wrote a fic about this so fast LMAO I hope you like it <3

cast a spell || kunizai sickfic

ao3! emeto fic, mild nsfw themes at the end - please refer to this link for additional tags!

Kunikida really should have gone home early today. His stomach is not cutting him any slack.

He doesn't have the energy to change. All he can really manage is taking off his shoes and belt before he crawls into his bed. It's unlike him. He has a routine when he gets home. Light cleaning, checking the stock in his fridge, and various other things that his schedule details, but his body won't allow him to tonight. Any more time on his feet will have him hunched over the toilet again in no time.

His stomach has been sick since lunch. He isn't sure exactly what set it off today. He didn't try anything new. He was hoping it was a usual stress ache. He gets those so often that he's able to brush them off easily and keep working, but only about an hour before he left the agency, he found himself curled up beside the toilet in the bathroom and bringing up his still-digesting lunch, miserable and cradling his bloated and twisting tummy.

He's still sore and achy. He was in there for about a half over gagging and retching, long enough to get looks and questions when he walked back out into the office. He had to brush it off and pretend he felt better, but he didn't.

He groans quietly and he curls tighter on himself, arms wrapped around his middle. He thinks he should be used to this by now, but he isn't. It hurts, he's sore, he feels nauseous, he's almost certain he's going to throw up again tonight, and all he can do is be miserable about it until it happens.

Just as he's starting to let his exhaustion take over enough to relax, he hears his front door open, and footsteps start in the direction of his bedroom.

"Ugh…Dazai…?" he groans. He doesn't need to see or hear him. He knows those footsteps.

"The one and only," he sings, albeit more quietly than usual. Almost like he's being considerate. His footsteps stop, and although Kunikida has his back turned to his bedroom door, he imagines Dazai leaning against the frame. "Not feeling good, huh, Kunikida?"

"I'll be fine. Just need to lie down for a while," Kunikida mumbles. He feels his stomach churn uncomfortably and he has to shift to take some of the pressure off of it. He has some hope that he'll be able to finish his house chores later after some rest, but he almost never gets that lucky. Especially not with how sick his stomach has been today.

"Take any medicine?" Dazai asks.

"No," Kunikida huffs.

"Where is it?"

"I'm not telling you where my medication is, Dazai," Kunikida grumbles, forcing himself to sit up. Dazai makes a good point, though, he should probably take something to help with the nausea and pain before he rests.

"Aww, come on. I was just trying to help," Dazai whines. He's pouting in the doorway.

"I don't trust you," Kunikida mumbles as he stands up, taking a few deep breaths in the hope that it'll calm down his stomach enough for him to get up.

He walks by Dazai with a pained groan into the kitchen. The nausea is suddenly much worse, but he should have expected it to be. He's hoping he can just take some medicine and go rest, but by the time he makes it to the kitchen, he has to rethink his strategy. He burps into a closed fist, and then again, wet and acidic, bringing up a few chunks of his lunch to coat his tongue, just like last time.

"Uhhgh…uhrrp - "

He feels whatever is left in his stomach make a reappearance at the back of his throat, and he thanks whatever coincidence that forced him to stand up that he's next to the sink, because he bends over it with an arm around his middle to bring up his stomach contents with a sick splatter into it. His stomach twists and he groans from the pain, only to burp up another mouthful of bile, burning the back of his throat.

"You still have something left in there?" Dazai says, suddenly appearing behind him. He feels Dazai take his ponytail and lay something on the back of his neck that makes him shiver - a damp washcloth. It feels good. "Just get it up, you'll feel better soon."

It helps him focus his breathing a little bit. His breaths are interrupted by nauseous burps here and there, attempts to get something up, but he thinks he might be done. He spits out a wad of saliva into the sink with a pained moan before he straightens up, but as soon as he does, his glasses fall off of the top of his head and join his stomach contents in the sink, splashing up some at the sides of the sink.

He forgot he put those there. Of course this would happen to him. He almost reaches in to pick them up, but the thought of having to clean vomit off of his glasses just brings the nausea back in full swing, and he chokes up a wave of digested food and bile that he didn't know he had left in him, splashing on top of his glasses.

"Hhurk…ahh…"

He spits again with an opened-mouth moan, letting the last of the saliva-vomit mixture leave his mouth. He feels his stomach calm down, just enough for him to feel safe enough to step back from the sink.

"Where'd you learn that washcloth trick," Kunikida murmurs, rubbing at his temple. "Ugh…"

"I've never seen it actually help nausea before. But it's good for calming people down," Dazai says. 

A classic evasion of Kunikida's question, but he decides not to pry. He opens the fridge in search of his nausea medication - he spots it, using the door to hide it from Dazai's view, takes a swig out of the cap, and closes the door again.

"You don't wanna go see Yosano?" Dazai asks once the door is shut and they're face to face.

"There's not much she can do," Kunikida says with an exhausted sigh. She's tried, for sure. "It's just the same shit as usual."

Dazai pouts. "You think they'd have some sort of treatment for it by now."

"You'd think," Kunikida agrees. For now, he just has to deal with it. He has to conceal another burp and swallow back a bit of the liquid medicine that bubbles up with it. He just has to hope it stays down long enough to help his stomach feel a little better. "Have you eaten?"

"Nope. Just got here," Dazai says.

"There's leftovers in the fridge. Eat them," Kunikida says.

"You don't want them?" Dazai asks.

"I don't think I'll be able to stomach anything else tonight," Kunikida sighs. "Eat it, you didn't have lunch. And please don't touch any of the medication in there. I don't feel like gagging you to prevent an overdose."

"Okay, okay. Only 'cause you don't feel good," Dazai says, opening the fridge.

While he's up, he decides to change into something he can comfortably rest in. He's worried if he lays down the medicine will come right back up while he's lying on his side. He tries to remember to take deep breaths, it's the only thing that really keeps those sharp, uncomfortable twists of his stomach at bay. He hates throwing up, but he's hoping it stays just that, and doesn't continue with both ends tonight. He can only handle so much.

He crawls back into bed with a drawn-out moan, pressing against his bloated tummy. He takes one of his pillows and wraps his arms tight around it. It's comforting, for some reason.

Just as he's starting to shut his eyes again, he feels Dazai crawl into bed behind him and press a kiss against his temple.

"You sap," Kunikida groans.

"You sap. Look how red your ears got," Dazai teases, lightly tugging at the tip before he settles in next to him, ducking his head into the nape of his neck. "I'll be here, so tell me if you need anything. Also, I cleaned your glasses."

Kunikida thinks Dazai sounds just as tired as he is. He's not sure how useful he'll be, but he appreciates his presence. His warmth is comforting. It always has been. Dazai sneaks a hand under Kunikida's sleep shirt, just over his hip, and starts to rub circles.

"I'm surprised you're not bursting a blood vessel over not finishing your schedule today," Dazai teases.

"You have no idea how stressed I am about it," Kunikida mumbles, his stomach rolling at the thought that he'll just have more to do tomorrow. He groans and sucks in air through his teeth when Dazai's fingers press a bit too hard on a tender spot.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" he asks.

"Just - just a bit," he says as Dazai settles into a gentler rhythm. "It feels good, though."

"Good," Dazai says, "and don't stress yourself out. I'll help you catch up."

Kunikida has his doubts about that, but Dazai sounds sincere in the moment. He almost sounds sweet. Kunikida starts to have a miniature mental crisis about his situationship with Dazai. The way Dazai is pressed up against him, his forehead tucked into the back of his neck like it fits perfectly there, gently rubbing soothing circles into his aching, nauseous tummy. Sure, they've fooled around before, a bit more than they should, but Dazai doesn't seem to be looking for any of that right now. He's really just sticking around because Kunikida isn't feeling good.

Dazai makes him more stressed than he realizes. His cheeks heat up and his stomach lurches again, but he manages to keep it down swallowing the acid back. He's sure Dazai noticed, but he doesn't comment.

"Surprised you're not grossed out by all this," Kunikida murmurs, letting his eyes fall shut. He takes a hand to lay over Dazai's, silently guiding him a bit closer to his navel, and Dazai obliges. Kunikida doesn't bother holding back a moan.

"It's whatever. I feel like we see way grosser stuff at work," Dazai says casually.

"Fair enough," Kunikida says.

"You really like this," Dazai says through something that almost resembles a giggle. "I can hear your little moans in your throat here. It's cute."

"It feels good," Kunikida defends again. It feels like Dazai is rubbing out all of the sore spots in his tummy. "You're good at it."

"I'm glad it feels good," Dazai says, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. Kunikida feels his face flush. "Your poor tummy. I can really feel it bubbling in there…"

Dazai moves up from where he's been lying down, and Kunikida didn't realize he's taken his shirt off, although, he's still covered in bandages. He lays an ear up to Kunikida's stomach, which sends a shiver up his spine.

"Ohh…my poor Kunikida," he says in a pouty voice before he presses a gentle kiss up against it and lays back up against Kunikida's back.

"Your Kunikida?" Kunikida scoffs.

"Mhm…do you belong to anyone else?" Dazai against, nuzzling up into his neck. Kunikida has to admit, he's not sure if Dazai's doing this on purpose, but his stress and stomachache isn't what's at the front of his mind anymore. "I think we need to get some of these bubbles up…"

Dazai's gentle rubs start to get a little more rough, deeper, and Kunikida moans. He thinks he's asking him to burp, which he's not entirely sure he can do without bringing up bile into his mouth, but he'll try. He manages a few little ones, none sounding particularly wet, but after a few comes one that lasts a few seconds.

"Ugmhhuurp…" he swallows back another tiny splash of vomit that came back up and he lays his hand over Dazai's, "hurrk…ah - ahh, ugh, Dazai, not so rough…"

"Sorry, babe," Dazai says gently. "That was good, I think you needed that…"

He does feel a little bit better.

"Maybe," Kunikida groans, although, he can't deny he likes the way Dazai is acting with him right now. He can't admit it out loud, but it's obvious he already knows.

"Love you," Dazai murmurs quietly. His rubs start to slow down, but Kunikida doesn't mind. He's starting to fall asleep himself, and Dazai's really helped his nausea so far, somehow.

"Love you too," Kunikida murmurs quietly, surprised that his half-asleep brain is agreeing to something so quickly. As he starts to slip into a dream, he wonders if Dazai is casting a spell on him. "Thank you."

"Mmm…"

[snarkythewoecrow]

ketchup with eggs

by: snarkymuch

Tags: Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Reveal, Late Night Conversations, Coping, Buck was in an abusive relationship in the past, and he and Eddie sit and talk about it, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Caring Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Light Angst

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary:

He ate his eggs with ketchup now—and he didn't always.

Because when someone enters your life, a remnant of them can be left behind. Maybe you learned a new way to make your coffee—just like they did—or you picked up a little hack, such as using the tines of a fork to brace a taco shell and keep it standing.

These little things tended to wriggle into the cracks and settle—becoming a part of you and a reminder of someone, even after they had gone, though sometimes the feelings around those things could be complicated.

And for Buck, one in particular stood out, which for him, presented itself in the form of a neat pile of ketchup next to his scrambled eggs.

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He ate his eggs with ketchup now—and he didn't always.

Because when someone enters your life, a remnant of them can be left behind. Maybe you learned a new way to make your coffee—just like they did—or you picked up a little hack, such as using the tines of a fork to brace a taco shell and keep it standing.

These little things tended to wriggle into the cracks and settle—becoming a part of you and a reminder of someone, even after they had gone, though sometimes the feelings around those things could be complicated.

And for Buck, one in particular stood out, which for him, presented itself in the form of a neat pile of ketchup next to his scrambled eggs.

As he dipped a forkful into the ketchup, emotions churning as they always did, he heard Eddie huff, which had him glancing across the table.

Eddie had his nose wrinkled. "That has to be the grossest thing I've seen you do—and we've been together for a while."

Christopher giggled, and Buck smiled at him. "Not you, too? You're supposed to have my back."

"That's gross, Buck."

He just shrugged with a breathy laugh, then popped the forkful into his mouth, ignoring the faint twist to his stomach. "Well, it's not the best thing in the world—I'll give you that."

Eddie had a weird expression, one eyebrow wrinkling his forehead more than the other, his mouth twisting slightly. "Then why are you eating it?"

His jaw clenched—they didn't keep secrets, but Buck had told himself that this didn't count, as he'd probably have brought it up, but Eddie had never asked.

Though it wasn't like he'd been jumping to tell him. Besides, it was history and not worth revisiting if you asked him.

Because he was fine—and the proof of that colored his eggs with a coating of red.

He plastered on a smile, licked his fork, then said, "Because you don't gotta like everything—you just gotta get through it."

And much to his surprise, Eddie managed to make it nearly twelve hours before asking—because he would—and Buck had seen it coming all day, in the aborted conversation starters, his inner debate over the silliness of his question clear in his eyes.

Christopher had gone to bed, and they were alone, and Eddie had settled into that position, the one where he sits on the couch beside him, one leg tucked under so he faced him.

Buck sighed, then dropped his elbows to his knees, head hung as he glanced at him. "Go ahead—ask."

Eddie seemed to chew that over, brows pinched together. "So there is something—it wasn't just me picking up some weird vibes about eggs, and you've been squirrely since."

"I haven't been squirrely."

A shrug. "You've been something, and I just—I thought we didn't do this, Evan. We tell each other things."

"It was eggs."

"You don't even like ketchup that much—and I've never seen you eat it with breakfast." Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing at the corners of his eyes before dropping his hand against his leg. "Fine, tell me it's nothing—tell me I'm just being weird about fucking eggs and ketchup—and I'll let it go."

His throat tightened, and he nodded twice, then pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Fuck."

"That's what I thought."

He exhaled, heavy through his nose, then dropped his hands, head shaking. He couldn't look at him for this. "You know I've been around the block."

"Fire Hose Buck?"

He hummed and nodded but didn't look up. "Yeah, but before that—I, uh, did have another relationship that lasted for a while. The guy—he was military and, um"—he cleared his throat—"he had a temper, and I was young—clingy. I shouldn't have stayed as long as I did."

The silence was Eddie not breathing, and it had Buck glancing at him. His eyes were soft, but the tension showed in his jaw.

"He ate his eggs with ketchup."

Finally, the man sucked in a breath, looking away before asking, "I don't understand. If he—if he hurt you…" It sounded like the words were cutting his throat. "Why would you…." He shook his head. "Sorry, you don't need to explain."

"Fuck," he cursed, then turned to better face him. "Can you—can you look at me for a second?" And because Eddie never denied him, he lifted his head. "I should explain—and I, uh, want to—I want you to know. It's part of who I am, even if I don't like how it happened. Because it did, and it can't be changed now."

Eddie worked his jaw, too many heartbeats between them. Then, finally, he asked, "Are you okay?"

He tried for a weak smile and gave a half-shrug. "Yeah, it was years ago, now. And I don't think about him much anymore, except occasionally—like, you know, with the eggs."

A frown bent the corners of Eddie's mouth. "I still don't understand that—why you'd want to remind yourself like that—he doesn't seem like someone you'd want to remember."

An old dead thing stirred in him, reaching to claw his throat. He swallowed, then coughed, trying to fight it off.

"Nah, I don't want to remember him—but I guess I don't want to forget. It fucking terrifies me, ya know? Not him—not anymore, but disappearing again—losing myself and forgetting how to fight. I think about that every day."

Eddie brushed his knuckles against his leg, seeming to test the waters.

And there would never be a time he'd push him away, so he took his hand, threading their fingers together.

"I wish you had told me—but I understand."

And fuck, his nose tickled, and his eyes stung. The tears were close, and his voice betrayed him ultimately, breaking a bit as he spoke, "I know, Eds, but I just didn't know how—or what it would mean if I did. I mean, I've kept this close to my chest for a long time. I never told anyone."

Eddie squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you told me—thank you."

He made a noise in his throat, then rasped, wiping the dampness from his lashes. "Yeah, um, you're welcome, and I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner. I could lie and say I'd been planning on it, but I wasn't." He huffed, then shook his head.

"Don't worry about it—this kind of shit gets special circumstances in regards to the no secrets rule."

He forced a hard swallow, then nodded as he drew a breath. "Oh, and because you asked, the egg thing..."

"Hey, you don't have to explain, Buck. You gotta do what you gotta do—but I just hope you're not punishing yourself or something."

He tangled his thumb with Eddie's, beginning a lazy game of thumb war between them. It kept him distracted enough to explain. "After I left him, I was fucked up, in all the ways, ya know? But, uh, shit was bad, and I tried to get him out of my head, and I don't know—I'd started eating my eggs like him when we were together, and I fucking hated them like that—really, really, did."

A pause, a breath, then Eddie let him pin his thumb. Thankfully, Eddie didn't look up when he said with no judgment, almost a nudge, a question, "But you still eat them like that now."

"Uh, yeah, for months, I'd choke them down. I think I needed to prove I could? Sometimes I'd puke them up or throw the plate, but I don't know. It just became a thing."

He took a breath, teeth scraping his lip. "Then I just—one day I got pissed, like fuck him, ya know? And it's probably not healthy, but it became a thing. Like every so often, I eat eggs with ketchup—so I don't forget, and I guess to prove to myself that I can."

He sniffled—because fuck his life—he was crying now. "And I think I need to prove that his memory can't hurt me anymore. Like, fuck him, right? I win this time, bitch."

Eddie didn't say anything for a second, then a few seconds, long enough to give him doubts, before taking both of Buck's hands in his own. "Fucking right, you got this—and I got you. You don't have to face this shit alone anymore, not if you don't want to."

He nodded, breathing wetly through his nose. "I think I’d like that."

Eddie lifted their hands, then kissed Buck's knuckles, looking through his lashes, brow lifting. "And you know, if we ever run into this piece of shit, I'm gonna fuck him up six ways to Tuesday—so, sorry, not sorry in advance."

Buck just huffed. "Yeah, well, maybe we can do it together. I owe him a good kick to the ribs."

The sharp exhale and tight line of Eddie’s mouth, the wet shine to his eyes, betrayed any of his attempts at composure. "Just make sure to wear boots."

"I got a pair in mind."

[transias]

honest with me. (III)

pairings: spider-man!miguel diaz x reader

warnings: miguel sorta being a dick, terribly written fight scene.

summary: after the events of samantha's party, miguel has completely been ignoring you and your friends. it isn't until miguel comes to a dreadful realization that he asks for you and your friends' help.

note: so this is the final part! but don't worry, this isn't the last you haven't seen of spider-man!miguel. i'll probably make some imagines and headcanons! also just some people who asked me to be tagged in the last part! @dramasmarvel @melixfandoms

after the events of sam's party, you spent the rest of the weekend stuck at work.

you thought maybe it'd be better if you kept your mind busy and did things, it sort of worked. hawk and eli swung by saturday afternoon and you told them everything.

they were a bit disappointed, to say the least. but they stuck right by you, asking if you were okay and comforting you. you were so grateful for them.

the week you came back from school, you tried talking to miguel but he just walked past you.

then you tried again but this time he gave you some dumb excuse about how sam needed his help with prom.

the entire day, you just watched as miguel walked down the halls with sam, his arm wrapped around her waist.

and after four weeks of miguel completely ignoring you and your friends. he had his big 'promposal' in the cafeteria.

he stood in the cafeteria with a huge bouquet of flowers for her in his arms. what was left of your broken heart simply disintegrated as you watched him kiss her and everyone cheer.

demetri and hawk tried distracting you with everything they could, and while you reassured them you were fine they could tell you weren't.

you were all hanging out at hawk's house, playing video games and simply hanging out.

"we should all go to the prom together." hawk spoke up.

you furrowed your brows, "all? you mean you, demetri, and me?"

he nods, "yeah! i mean we don't have dates and we could end up having a little fun. what's the harm in that?"

"i thought you were going to the prom with moon?" demetri asked.

"yeah about that... she actually has to visit her grandparents this weekend." hawk replied.

you thought, "but- prom is in two days. i don't even have an outfit!"

"well then what are we waiting for? come on! let's go find our fits!" hawk pulled you and demetri up from the couch.

you weren't gonna lie, you wanted to go to prom with miguel but things changed. so you guess going to prom with your two best friends wouldn't be so bad, would it?

so you set out to help your friends get their tuxedos and your outfit.

"what about this one?" demetri asked, stepping out of the changing room with the most ridiculous suit ever.

you stiffled a laugh, "demetri, i'm sorry but that suit does not look good on you. or literally anyone."

"yeah, (y/n)'s right. you look like you just stepped out of dumb and dumber." hawk joked.

you looked around for other different suit styles to try and help demetri.

when you finally found one you thought would good look on him, you heard someone behind you ask, "you're going to the prom?"

turning around, you meet miguel's brown eyes, quickly forcing yourself to look away from him.

"i don't wanna talk to you right now." you start walking away, miguel placing his hand on your arm.

"please! can i just apologize? i know-"

"save it, diaz! if you were actually sorry you would've said it to me before? why wait until now?" you angrily mumble to him.

"because- i'm in love with you too! i just- i didn't know how to tell you this or even apologize." he replied.

a terrible pain churned in your heart. "well if you're so in love with me, then why are you with her?"

miguel gulped, "because- i like her too. but i love you. like and love are two different things." he sighed, "i can't just tell her this. it'll hurt her."

you scoffed, "like you hurt me?" you sigh, "i'll see you around."

you returned to your friends, handing demetri the suit you looked for him.

-

the night of the prom was dreadful for you.

you were worried about seeing miguel and sam again. but you also didn't want it to ruin your night completely.

you were gonna have fun with your friends and that was it!

you heard a horn outside and walked out, laughing as you saw the giant limo and your friends out. "you did not just get a limo for this." you look at hawk.

hawk smirked, "i figured if we're gonna look this fly we better show up in style." he shrugged, "but anyways, you look absolutely great (y/n)!"

you look down at (y/f/c) outfit and smile, doing a playful curtsy, "why, thank you." you smile.

demetri pulled out a small plastic box, "if you'll allow me."

you nod, giving him your arm and watching as he placed a corsage on your wrist.

"thank you guys for this. really, i appreciate it." you smile at them.

"you're our friend. friends look out for each other." demetri gave you a smile.

"well what are we waiting for! come on, let's show these losers how it's done." hawk exclaimed, the three of you getting into the limo.

the three of you loudly sang along to hawk's playlist, the driver was probably annoyed more than anything right now. but thankfully, your ride was coming to an end.

demetri stepped out first, offering you his hand as you stepped out, hawk following afterwards.

you took a deep breath, lacing you and your friends’ arms together as you walked in.

the decoration was absolutely beautiful. you hated larusso but you had to give her props for making the gymnasium not look like one.

“you want something to drink?” hawk asked.

“yeah uhh fruit punch please!” demetri smiled.

“i asked (y/n), get it yourself.” hawk scoffed.

demetri’s smile dropped and hawk sighed, “fine- i’ll get it for you. (y/n)?”

“i’ll take fruit punch too, thank you!” you reply.

hawk returned soon with the drinks in his hand, handing each of them to you.

you heard a throat clear behind you, “h-hey guys.”

you turn around to be faced with miguel, a horrified look on his face.

"are you alright?" you ask.

miguel shakes his head, "i uhm- i don't know! listen, i know i've been a real shitty friend. especially to you, (y/n)." he glances at you, "i just- i really need your help now, more than ever."

"what makes you think we'll help you?" hawk crossed his arms.

you gently smack his arm, "no. i mean- yeah these past couple of weeks you've been acting like a dick but... it's not like we can ignore our entire pasts together."

hawk and demetri looked at each other, "are you sure you wanna help him?" demetri asked.

you shrug, "it's what friends do. they look out for each other, like you said."

the boys sigh and nod, "fine. what do you need help with?"

"follow me." miguel said.

as the four of you made your way to the computer lab, miguel explained the whole thing to them. how you figured out he was spider-man and that sam's dad was actually an illegal weapons dealer. he was ready to strike now and go after an important technological company.

needless to say, the news your two friends mostly focused on was the fact that miguel was spider-man.

"you're telling me- that all this time, the posters i have on my room are from you?!" hawk asked.

"i- i guess so. wait you have spider-man posters?" miguel teased.

"called it." demetri added.

hawk rolled his eyes, "whatever, let's just do this!"

you connected a call between miguel and you and your friends, as you were about to hand him the earpiece you saw he was already in his suit.

"do you just always wear that under everything?" you ask.

he nods, "yeah pretty much. gotta be ready for anything, y'know?"

"right, of course." you reply, "well, go get 'em tiger." you smile softly at him.

he smiles back before slipping his mask back on and swinging out of the window.

you return to demetri, who's on the computer tracking the plane of the company.

"can you see anything yet?" he asked miguel.

"yeah! he's drilling some kind of hole onto the plane. i don't know how i'll get so high up there." miguel replied.

"well what if you use your webs and yourself as a slingshot?" you ask.

miguel nods, "i think that'll work!"

a moment of silence goes by but as you hear a thud and a grunt, you're sure miguel has reached the top of the plane.

"i did it!" he exclaims.

the three of you let a sigh of relief out, "what's the plan now?" hawk asks.

"well i'm having a little bit of trouble getting into the plane itself but- OH SHIT!" miguel yelps, a loud buzzing noise being heard through the intercom.

miguel kept dodging every single attack his opponent would send, "just casually ditching the school dance, to fight my girlfriend's dad!" he exclaimed.

you sat by your chair, feeling completely useless while all you could do is sit and listen to him fight mr. larusso.

"the plane's gonna crash! we're heading down now!" miguel says.

"do you see any clear land where you're about to crash?" you ask.

"yeah, it seems like it might be coney island!" he replies.

"i'll meet you there!" you quickly get up and take off to the dance floor again.

you look around and spot robby, dancing next to tory nichols.

"hi! sorry to interrupt but robby, i really need your car! can i borrow it?" you ask.

"depends. what are you willing to trade for it?" he smirks.

you groan, "i'll do your entire homework for a month and finish your biology essay!"

robby shrugs, "sounds like a good deal to me."

and with that, robby keene tosses you his car keys.

"oh thank you! goodbye guys, enjoy your night!" you quickly wave goodbye.

you drive as fast you can to the island, thankfully the streets were empty, leaving you to speed up as fast as you needed.

as you reach the parking lot, your stomach drops at the sight of the fiery crash. you notice a floating figure trying to make its getaway, you run towards it and notice miguel trying to pull them down.

the heavy armor around the figure fails, exploding and dropping down on the ground.

"oh shit." miguel mutters. he runs after the man and so do you.

mr. larusso seems to be okay, miguel quickly gets him out of the armor and drops him down to the ground.

"miguel!" you exclaim, running after him.

"oh (y/n)!" he replies, quickly pulling you into a hug.

"are you alright? are you hurt?" you ask, looking at him up and down.

he takes off his mask, "i'm alright! i promise, look at me." a smile forming on his lips.

you can't help but smile back, "i'm happy you are."

"(y/n). i'm sorry, i should've never hurt you and i never should've picked sam over hawk and demetri and especially you." he starts, "and if you'll still have me, i want to be with you. but doing it properly this time. is that alright?" miguel asks.

you stop for a moment, thinking about it for a second and nodding, "i would love that."

miguel leans in and plants a gentle kiss on your lips, you raise and eyebrow before leaning in yourself and wrapping him in a way longer kiss.

"come on, we have to get out of here the police will be here soon." you take his hand.

"wait- i just have to do one last thing." he insists.

miguel grabs mr. larusso and webs him up to one of the crates, he writes something down on a legal notepad that one of the workers must've forgotten and gently webs that up to mr. larusso's chest.

"now, let's go!" miguel exclaims, taking your hand into his and running.

you take him back to your house. you call demetri and hawk to update them, the two of them now on the way to your house.

you had changed out of your prom outfit to a much more comfortable one.

miguel sat down in your bed, you check his body for anymore injuries.

"well, this was one hell of a prom night, huh?" miguel jokes.

you chuckle softly and nod, "yep."

he sighs, "sam's gonna be mad i blew her off."

"well maybe sam's dad shouldn't be manufacturing illegal weapons and trying to steal high technology." you snarkily replied.

miguel laughs and wraps you under his arm, "i'll talk to her and fix this, i promise."

your bedroom door busts open and in come demetri and hawk talking loudly.

"dude! that was absolute madness!" demetri exclaims, both of your friends still hyped up on adrenaline.

"it's all over the news! spider-man stops daniel larusso from stealing high tech!" hawk adds.

-

the following week, sam and her family had moved away to live with some distant relatives.

you had to admit, you sort of felt bad for her. it was unfair that she had to move away from this life because of the consequences of her father.

miguel and you went official, at least only between hawk and demetri. the rest didnt really need to know.

miguel and you sat on the rooftop of a building, him in his spider-man suit as you both looked at the view.

out of the blue, miguel asks, "do you wanna swing with me?"

you pause for a moment, thinking of all the ways this could go wrong but in the end you shrug, "sure!"

you wrap your arms tightly around your lover, taking a deep breath before letting a small scream as soon as he starts swinging.

after a few seconds you relax, you're safe in miguel's arms and happier than ever.

and you know what? you wouldn't have it any other way.

[1heartfanfics]

IRL story

Here's a little IRL story about what happened last night.

I woke up to find that I was alone in bed. A quick look at my phone told me that it was 3:12. Figuring Carter was in the bathroom I just laid back down and closed my eyes but after hearing some rustling around in the hallway I sat up, frowning. What was he doing at 3 in the morning?

After a minute the bedroom door pushed open and Carter walked in. I took in his appearance quickly; pale face in the light from the window, a pained look in his eyes, one hand resting on his stomach. Oh no.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked.

"No... I don't know... My tummy hurts," he said quietly, sitting hunched over at the edge of the bed.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," I said, scooting over to sit next to him. I grabbed his elbow gently and rubbed my other hand up and down his back.

"I don't know what's wrong but I feel kind of nauseous too. I just feel really sick and my stomach feels disgusting," he whined, leaning his head down on my shoulder.

"Okay, hey, let's lay back down alright. Come here," I wrapped an arm around him and pulled him with me until we were both laying down.

He was taking slow deep breaths through his mouth and I could tell he was fighting down nausea. Laying flat on his back, stiff as a board, not moving for fear of upsetting his stomach even more.

"You want me to rub it?" I asked.

"Just put your hand on it," he said.

So I rolled over onto my side and rested a hand on his tummy. I could feel it churning and gurgling unhappily. As far as I knew all he'd eaten before bed was some chips and some yogurt, so I wasn't sure what could be making him so sick.

We laid like that for a while, I started to drift off, until Carter quietly said, "Will you rub it a little please?"

"Of course honey," I said, started to rub his stomach back and forth, in circles, applying just a little bit of pressure but not too much.

We laid in silence for a while after that, except for his quiet whines and moans of discomfort occasionally. His stomach was bloated, pushing out against the waistband of his briefs, in comparison to his usually flat stomach.

"You feeling any better?" I asked after a while.

Instead of answering, however, he bolted out of bed and walked quickly to the bathroom.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath, throwing on a t-shirt and following him to the bathroom, where he was on his knees over the toilet, throwing up the contents of his angry tummy.

"Alright sweetie, I'm right here, you're okay," I said, kneeling behind him to rub his back.

"Agh fuck," he breathed out, dry heaving. I wrapped an arm around his waist to feel his stomach contracting even though he clearly had nothing else to bring up.

"Breathe Car, you're empty hon," I said, rubbing his stomach gently to hopefully soothe the contracting muscles into calming down.

After a few minutes he pressed a hand to his upper stomach, forcing up a closed mouth burp. Thankfully though, he seemed to be done. He leaned back against me, resting against my chest.

"Take a minute to breathe and then we'll get you back to bed and I'll get you some water," I said, tracing patterns on his stomach, which still felt about as bloated and upset as it had before he'd thrown up.

"I don't feel good," he whined, sounding so small that it broke my heart. He isn't usually so apt to accept help or comfort, even when he's sick.

"I know baby, I'm so sorry. You ready to move back to bed?" I asked.

He nodded, sighing. I'm sure he was exhausted, so the short trip from the bathroom to our bedroom probably felt like a lot in this state.

I helped him up as gently as I could, then walked him back to our room, one hand pressed to his lower back. He gingerly crawled into bed, lying still as I pulled the blankets up around him and brushed a hand down his cheek, feeling for fever. Surprisingly, he didn't feel warm.

I went into the kitchen and poured him a glass of water, putting a straw into it so he wouldn't have to sit back up all the way to drink it. I also grabbed the trash can from the living room, just in case he couldn't make it next time.

"Alright, can you sit up a little and try to take a drink for me?" I asked as I walked back into our room, setting the trash can down next to him as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"What if it makes me throw up again?" he asked quietly.

"Then at least you'll have something other than your organs to throw up," I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. He flashed me a small, pained smile, then struggled to prop himself up on his elbow. I lifted the straw to his lips, wrapping an arm around him to support his shaking arm.

"Small sips," I said softly. He obediently took a couple of sips, then laid back down.

"There's a trash can right here if you need it and the water will be right here too if you want some more. Just be careful not to drink too fast," I said, crawling into bed next to him.

He didn't say anything, but rolled onto his side, facing away from me. He reached behind him to grab my arm and pull it over his waist. He brought my hand up to rest on his stomach, scooting back as far as he could against me. I started to rub his stomach again, applying gentle pressure in circles, the way he likes.

Thankfully, he fell asleep after a little while, but I can feel his tummy churning still and he keeps making these low whines under his breath and jerking his legs in discomfort.

He managed to sleep through the night, and still decided to go to work like the stubborn idiot that he is, but I'm expecting a phone call any minute saying he threw up again and needs me to come get him.

[oakskull]

Guess who finished this illustration set,,

MEEEEEEE!!!

It's Cogchamp fnf sprites!!! I would have made a mod but unfortunately I don't have the right software to do so

Featuring such characters as

Tutorial Fox

5up.xtml

Brother Dearest

Tub and Crumb

Prime Bell

Um sir.

and last but not least, Sammy wants murder

These are weeks 1-4, and week 5 will be in a separate post bc of image limit(derogatory) and I worked really hard on this!! (more thoughts and stuff under the cut, I got kind of rambly haha)

It was super fun to draw in this style and I feel like I learned a lot about shading and shapes (shoes especially) by trying to recreate the style of a professional artist. I think I'll do more exercises like this in the future, just to keep learning!! Also obligatory reminder that these drawings are referenced HEAVILY from the original game sprites. I was trying to draw the cog champers(and dream) like they would be a mod for the game, so the poses and style are extremely similar if not the same. If I were to redo these illustrations I might put more personality and originality into the poses, but I didn't actually study the style at all before creating the first illustration (fundy, the one I posted here is actually a redraw to make him higher quality, the original was too small)

So yeah, over all, this was super fun and I'd definitely do it again. Maybe I'll redraw some of these in the future to be more creative, you can tell which ones I drew later on bc of the variety in poses and expressions, I was a lot more comfortable with the style (tho I did keep my own eyes and mouth style bc expressions are something thats really important to my style and I didn't want to feel like I was just like,, tracing) Sorry for rambling so long, I'll put this under a cut for all the people who just want to see pretty art.

On a more art related note, you may have noticed that Dream is Pico, you may be thinking "but dream isn't on Cogchamp" and you're Right. I didn't know what else to do okay? He's fundy's Ex so it kind of fits??? I dunno man, I gave him a more steam punk mask but kept the majority of his design similar to my normal dream design, so as to keep the Dream vibe. Yknow where he's always just a green blob? It kinda slaps tbh, branding is important.

Also regarding Prime Bell, again, I didn't know what else to do, I was thinking of doing something with the egg, but that's not on cogchamp (thank goodness) so I needed something else. I decided that the only like, tangentially related thing I could do was make an Evil prime bell, based on how Sam steals it idk maybe in this world its always the demon thing and is kinda like the ring from lord of the rings, where once you have it you can't give it up. In any case designing Prime Bell took a while (plus some help from Yipcord and Chaos Crew thx guys ❤ and specifically @valpurgatory who is what inspired me to personify the Prime Bell in the first place with their turn everything into a women philosophy (I @ed him so you can check out his blog he slaps. She's like the go to for saving women from Wilbur Soot's dirty mits)) but drawing it was surprisingly quick, mostly due to the fact that I figured out how to easily recreate the texture on the Lemon Monster's body. I did no shading bc that's what the Lemon monster looks like, and it kind of hurt bc it just looks kind of unfinished to me,,, I had some trouble with the week 5 design for Prime Bell bc I didn't want to abandon my first idea. I probably should have and would have gotten a better result, but I can't be bothered tbh. This is the 3rd day I'm working on this project (these were surprisingly quick the churn out, probably bc I was having a blast) and I simply do not want to alter anything. My idea was good but the execution didn't pan out. What am I saying the week 5 prime bell design isn't even on this post sjjdjsks

Anyway, go check out fnf(Friday Night Funkin) it's a rhythm game, it's free and the OST Slaps. I'd also highly recommend listening to the Whitty mod songs and the Neo mod songs,,,, good good music.

[kittydcoxx]

Stay with Me.

KAEYA X READER.

Warnings: light angst/heartbreak but nothing bad (happy ending)

The tavern was as crowded as usual, and by that meaning almost completely baren for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. As you order a apple cider from Charles, the tavern door bell rings and you instinctively turn to check.

"Ah~ it is pouring out, I need a drink to combat the dissapointment of getting my fur cape wet."

Kaeya. Of course he wasnt the last person you'd expect to see open the tavern doors, he just wasnt much of a "afternoon delight" type drinker. Still, you stare as he tries to cooly swipe off the wet rain from his uniform as he walks towards the counter and takes a seat next to you.

"Well, well! Good afternoon y/n! What a suprise to see a beauty such as yourself here at this hour."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks as he turns to look straight ahead and run his fingers through his hair, not allowing time for you to respond before he has a drink in his hand.

"Afternoon Captain,"

You face him and smirk with the same intensity of flirty-ness as he just had.

"Of course you would be surprised to see me at this hour, you usually drink yourself to sleep before i order a evening drink."

You chuckle and look straight ahead and take a swig of your beverage, the confidence of your little witty come back replays as the cider burns your throat.

"Oh ho, well thats quite the attitude! I must ask, whats the purpose of this?"

"Hmm?"

"The occasion? I've never seen you drink three days in a row, I've been sober enough to pay attention to that."

The truth is, the last few days you've been at a bit of a crossroads. You know you and the Cavalry Captain share feelings, but you have a job offer in Natlan. This job is a dream to you, ever since you were a child. You could never dream of passing this opportunity, but you question if this possible romance could be the first significant one. You've been meaning to bring it up to him, but recently you just havent seen enough of him to bring up the subject. As a result, you turned to the more than occassional drink at the tavern to brighten your mood from the decision that faces you.

"Well then if you're interested, it actually... might concern you."

Your face is flushed red due to nerves, of course it doesnt directly concern him since nothing astronomical has occured in order to absolutely weigh your decision based on a man, but you didnt want to leave without warning.

"I see, well, we haven't..." His cheeks grow the slightest bit red as his eyes skip to look around then back at you.

"we haven't progressed to that yet, have we? I mean, you're not pregnant are you?"

"What?!" You're taken aback by the direct-ness of his statement, about the fact that he thought it could even have been a possibility. Was it confirming your suspicions of him returning feelings? "No, i- its not that! That is out of the question completely!" You yelp as you shake your hands as a frantic meaning of saying "Absolutely no way".

"Of course! of course.. i just figured i'd ask in case, but i guess drinking for a few days regularly isnt particularly healthy for a baby."

You roll your eyes and take another swig. Oh boy.

"It's actually more of an advice thing, i suppose."

"Ah~ well! lets discuss then, hm!" He happily takes a sip of his wine, his face surprisingly relieved.

"So? What do you need the great Master Kaeya's guidance on?" He smiles and giggles slightly.

"Actually, I'd like to take this outside."

"But its raining cats and-"

"Outside. please."

Your tone picks up more aggresively and he gets the memo. He takes one more sip of his beverage and you do the same with yours. You pay Charles and meet Kaeya right at the door.

"Get ready for the rain, sweetheart"

Your heart jumps as he grabs your wrist and swings open the door, pulling you with him down the street, stopping at a small archway behind a building, big enough to comfortably converse without being cramped or drenched.

"Now, where were we?"

"right.. well.." You look down and fidget with your thumbs, only to look back up at him and see him gazing into your eyes, examining your soul and what felt like your heart. Did he already know? It sure felt like it.

"I have a big decision to make, but i want to ask you before i come to a concrete decision."

He nods as a sign to continue talking, acknkowledging his position in helping you decide.

"I might have to move away. To natlan more specifically. I've recieved a dream~ job offer that i simply cant refuse, unless i was faced with new circumstances here in Mondstadt."

"Hm, And how do i play a role in this?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans back against the stone wall.

You explain to him his part, and he lets you talk until you are completely finished. you tell him your feelings, your worries, your doubts, and your hopes. Every single one that included him in the package. He looks at you sternly the whole time, but he looks hurt at the same time and you wonder why.

"Well, i honestly dont know what to say to this y/n. You know i cant leave Mondstadt if we were to persue eachother."

"I know."

"Then why bother telling me? Why not just leave, hm? Before damage could be done? before you told me all this, confirmed my hopes in our relationship but crushed it with the fact that you 'might' leave? You should have just spared me and left!"

He looks emotional and teary eyed, much more that you're used to seeing from a man who held such a cool composure 24/7. Have you hurt him that much? Does he hate you?

"I can always stay if you wan-"

"No. Its your dream job, and you shouldnt pass it off. I just cant promise that i'll wait for you."

He steps closer to you, inches from your face. His breath is warm and it contrasts with the cold rainy air. He slowly takes your hand and hold it in his, then lands a soft passionate kiss onto your lips. A few seconds of the kiss pass and he breaks for air and looks at you, making strong magnetic eye contact with you.

"Y/n, I can't wait for you."

"You dont have to. I can stay."

He runs his hands up your arms and grips firmly onto your shoulders and kisses you again, and when he pulls back he lets out a heavy sigh.

"There's no staying, just be safe. Please."

Your throat swells like a rock is stuck and your eyes burn hot along with your ears. You cant muster any words, you just stand there maintaining a sorrow eye contact for a few seconds.

As you both stare in silence, he slowly lets go of you, and as soon as his hands depart from yours, he turns and walks out and into the road. The further he walks and fades from your vision, the further you slide down the wall until your behind hits the wet floor as you curl up to your knees. Hard, Hot tears stream steadily down your cheeks as you hide your head in your knees, sobbing hard yet silently. Your heart aches and your stomach churns.

You want to run and look for him, grab him by the waist and embrace him in a hug from behind as you cry against his back, but he has already erased you from his plethora of memories as he sulks in his room with a drink. The night is weary and so are you. You walk home, replaying the scene in your mind over and over, and the instant you step into your home, you fall to your knees and sob once more.

You dont even close the door behind you. You cant do anything but cry, you had no idea you felt so strongly for Kaeya, but you had to put it all behind you.

He probably had.

What feels like an hour or two goes by and you barely made it to the couch, where you lay sprawled out, half on the couch and half not as you stare into empty space, thinking of nothing but everything at once. Why did his mood snap so quickly? Why did he cut you off? Was it self defense? What could he gain by pushing you away? You had no clue, but you didn't want to dwell on it and start crying again, so you just lay there trying to fall asleep.

Suddenly, a warm, slender hand grazes your back and rubs up and down softly.

"I'm sorry."

You jolt a little, but you dont get up immediately.

"How long have you been like this? Its almost night again y/n. Have you gotten up at all!? Your door was wide open, I was worried."

No response from you as you try to analyze the voice. It sounds like Kaeya, but you had remind yourself that he wanted nothing to do with you.

The man sighs and walks away. A hallucination for sure, you thought. The male comes back and lifts you by the shoulders. He sits on the couch and then lays your head onto his lap.

You look up and are met with blue eyes, one scarred and one as normal as you're used to seeing on him, though both glossy as if about to cry.

"Kaeya?"

"Mhm. Sit up Darling, you need to drink water."

You obey and sit close beside him, sipping the water he hands you with both hands on the glass like a child. He puts his arm around you and his hand on your head and gives you a soft yet quite long kiss on the head as you finish your water.

"Im sorry. We can work something out. I know that i shouldn't.. I can't push you away."

You dont fight his embrace as it gets firmer, and his body trembles slightly as if he is crying.

"Do you want me to stay?" you ask sheepishly.

"My dear, its up to you what you want. I'll follow you in whatever you decide. Im choosing to persue you, the rest is yours to seal."

"I want to stay." you state calmly.

"As you wish." He eyes your empty glass of water and gets up to pour you some more. When he comes back you sit against him again, and drink the glass empty, then put the glass on the coffee table and lay your head on his lap.  

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm.."

He chuckles and holds you as you fall asleep, giving you tender kisses all over your face. When you fall asleep, he carries you bridal style upstairs to your room and tucks you into your bed. For a moment he stands there and ponders leaving you to rest, but the guilt of the words he said yesterday and seeing your state today convinced him to stay at your side. He walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gives you one more peck before falling asleep.

You wake up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when you come back to your room you're awake enough to process the fact that Kaeya was indeed in your bed. You crawl up into where you were in the bed before but this time facing him. You run your fingers along his face, feeling every bone and inch of his smooth skin, his tan beauty enhanced by the glow of the moonlight that peeked in through the window across the room from the bed. Your run your fingers down his hair and admire how his hair falls down his body. You've only been this close to him once, but never had you touched him like this. Your face was red and your smile was definitely pronounced, and as you stroke his cheek his eyes slowly open to see your expression.

"Good morning y/n~" he smiles and wraps his arms around you softly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Actually, its midnight."

"Oh, i see. Well, lets fall back asleep shall we? Or are you wide awake?"

You don't respond immediately but instead wrap your arms around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Back to sleep.."

He chuckles and brings you closer to his body, rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you both are hazy and about to fall asleep.

"I love you..." you whisper, half aware of what you just said and half not.

He pauses for a second, then gently squeezes your body as if to be his response back.

"I love you too.." he whispers back, his words echo in your mind as you drift to sleep, your dreams filled with nothing but happiness and him. 

You would stay in Mondstadt, but occasionally take trips to Natlan for a few weeks, and would try to take Kaeya with you if he wasn't too busy. The two of you became inseperable, and quite the item for some time, the story of your romance left most who heard it in tears.

After every time you tell the story, he grips your hand and grabs your face softly making you look into his eye.

"I'm glad you stayed."

He says as he pulls you in for a tender kiss, which is usually embarrassing in public but you dont mind in this case, because it was of genuine emotion and not of his flirtatious teasing.

You really do love him.

NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my first fanfic LMAO

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi, Remus! It's me again. Your friendly neighborhood nonbinary demon! I brought you another stuffie, this one's certified to the waterproof. *excited whispering* It's a mini-kraken. I'll uh, I'm talking a bit more quietly today because I know you've got company. Company we're both quite fond of, might I add. How are they? How have you been also? And I'd like to ask what Remy told you and what you think about this whole situation by the way? (Though only if you'd feel comfortable telling me?)

(mentions of U!Virgil)

Your voice came through right as Remus was close to stacking all of his stuffies on top of Remy, who was still sleeping, it was a mighty tower of fluff!

The mini-kraken bounced down on top of his head. He flinched and looked up "God????" He saw the kraken "OH BA-" He stopped and lowered his voice to not wake them "oh baaaby!!! thanks! I can give her big bloody claws!"

"I have been.....good" He lied "Great even. Spectacular. Like a hypothetical public execution where they stuff me full of fireworks before making me explode into a cascade of light!"

He carefully placed the mini-kraken on top of the tower of fluff. He sat on the floor right by the couch. The air stenched of alcohol and cigarette smoke. Rowan was going to lose her mind when she came home.

"Remy is feeling kind...how do I put this.....dragged through an ocean of sharp rocks to hell and back right now. I just wanna see them be all happy again like they deserve to be. I will have you know I would sacrifice several other people's toenails to make that happen!! I don't wanna see them sad!!"

(He didn't want to see them drunk either. He honestly hated being around drunk people....but it was Remy....so that made it just a bit more bearable)

"Umh what they told me? Everything Logan has said!! So I wanna hit him with a truck! Or put a really loud airhorn by his ear so his ears explode and his head starts bleeding!"

Remus twirled the ring on his finger while biting the inside of his cheek.

"They also told me all that stuff about how uhh Virgil kinda yells at them when he gets too anxious and uh how he calls them lazy and annoying and uh stupid and a burden kinda often and uh how they ehm kinda tend to dress differently when they're with him and uhm act different since he uhh gets anxious really easily about them like leaving him or cheating or looking at other guys and stuff like that y'know"

He twirled the ring faster.

"So y'know normal stuff. Like teasing and normal arguments. Or I guess maybe they should look into some couples therapy?? A lot of arguments isn't good I think. But teasing is kinda normal y'know so yeah. I don't get Jannie's and LoLo's reactions. They're just being overemotional and delusional and stuff like that ehm yeah. I mean it's kinda sweet if he gets so anxious about Remy leaving them isn't it? Kinda cute. kinda dorky. Like a beheaded chipmunk"

"babe?"

Remus turned around to see Remy rubbing their eyes open. They looked delirious. And yet they tried to get up.

"i need to get home- viv is gonna be worried- he's gonna think im hurt or dead or with someone- i need to- i need to-" They slurred out.

"You need some water and sleep" He gently held them back so they laid down again "You can tell him the therapy session messed you up, you got drunk and lost time okay?"

"mhmm. sound good" They made grabby hands towards him "need my stinky boo"

Remus tensed a bit. He didn't like cuddling drunk people either. But he didn't want to say no and be rude. He laid down next to them. They churned their face into the slope of his neck and moved their arms around him, they were clinging on like a koala honestly.

"i feel so sick" They mumbled out "alcohol is too much- too much cal-"

"You'll sleep it off"

"mhm"

Remus looked at them. In their half awake state and realized he could probably say anything and they wouldn't remember it.

He took their hand and pressed a kiss to the circular scar on their wrist. It made them shudder from how much more they wanted.

"...Remy my fav color has always been green. Obviously. It's slime, zombies and boogers. But ehm....I didn't have a specific fav green until I saw your eyes. They're my favorite color. Ever since I met you I've been seeing that color everywhere. it makes me happy every time I see it, every time I see you" He confessed.

Remy very unceremoniously puked a bit in their mouth before passing out again. Remus stayed cuddling them, he wouldn't leave them until they told him to.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Five)

Memories (also available on Wattpad)

Chapter Four ※※※※※ Chapter Six

Noah parks the car in front of a beautiful house. My stomach churns more every second and I almost throw up when Leah opens my door. I spent the whole way rehearsing what I was going to say, but in truth, I can't remember anything and I have doubts if I will even be able to say ‘hi’.

“Well, Noah's house is down the street, we'll be there. In case it goes wrong, just call, text or shout, I don't know. We come running. Now, just in case you are okay, just don't send anything.” Leah fixes my hair and coat.

“Good luck!” Noah gives me a kiss on the cheek, before they get in the car.

I take a deep breath about five times before I press the bell. I hear the house door open and I almost pass out. Seconds later the gate opens and I feel my pressure drop slightly.

“Marnie? How did you get here?” he looks for a car, but the twins are gone.

“The wonder twins brought me.” I shrug.

“Why are you here?” he doesn't look happy or sad to see me.

“Hm, I need to talk to you. About the two of us, more precisely.” I press my fingers against each other, noticing my trembling.

“Okay, do you need help to get in?” he asks pointing to the boot on my foot. I accept the help and with support I enter his house.

I stand in the hall while he closes the door. We head to the kitchen, where he offers me a drink, but I refuse. If I drink something now, I’m sure I’ll get it out.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” he asks with a fake smile.

“Do you know.” I speak softly and awkwardly.

“About your meeting with Stephen? Yeah, I know.” he raises his eyebrows quickly, before opening a bottle of water.

“Luke …” I start, but he interrupts me.

“What? Isn't that what I'm thinking? Or was he the one who kissed you?” Luke doesn't change his tone of voice, but it still hurts. I am even ashamed to say that it was both alternatives.

“I really had no intention, he took advantage of the moment.” I try to defend myself.

“Yes, Marnie, that's what he does, what he's always done and what he's always going to do.” he look at me upset.

“Please try to understand me, I needed to see him, I needed to talk to him.” I'm starting to despair. It looks like it will come to nothing.

“The worst thing is that I understand, Marnie. I don't know how things are in your head, but if you needed it, we would arrange it, because all we want to do is help you.” he hits the bottle against the island's hail.

“I never wanted any of this to happen.” I look back at him after a while. “Both the accident and Stephen. If I had my head in place, I wouldn't have let any of that happen. Sorry.” Luke cuts eye contact and stares at the floor. “I never meant to hurt you.” I whisper. “And I will understand if you hate me for the rest of your life. Believe me, I hate myself a lot now.” I finish.

Luke lets out a humorless laugh and I notice his teary eyes.

“That's the problem, Marnie. Since I saw you, I try to hate you and I can't, you must know why.” he throws the ball back to me.

Cause he love me. I look away, not being able to sustain it. I know the answer, that's the shit. I sit on the stool facing the glass door leading to his garden. Luke sits next to me and we stay like that for a few minutes.

“I just don't want him to manipulate you, or hurt you. Marnie, I know how this story still moves you, how it is still hurt. I don't want to have to see you go through this again.” he vented, visibly tired.

I can't say anything for a few minutes. My mind spins at high speed. I review all my memories with Stephen at school, on the afternoons he took me to the beach or the pier and everything seemed perfect, like in a movie. I feel my heart race in nostalgia and longing. Even angry, even disgusted.

“When he kissed me …” I start, but Luke tries to interrupt me. “It didn't feel right. It wasn't him.” I finish quickly, returning to face him. His blue eyes look at me with a mixture of pain and hope. “I know I don't remember you and us yet, but something inside me knows and I want to hear that thing, but at the same time, I feel like an intruder in my own life. As if I were an impostor, the bad twin. In my head, I was going to leave everything the way it was, untouchable, so that when the ‘real me’ came back, everything was in place.” I vent.

It is horrible not to fit in with my own life, with my own self.

“What if doesn't come back?” he asks quietly.

“I freak out.” I shrug, making him laugh lightly. At least I made him laugh.

Of so many people at that intersection, of so many cars, mine had to be hit. In the midst of this confusion, if it had to happen, then I would prefer it to be a total blank, forget everything. Perhaps it was easier to start from scratch, than from a crucial point for what I have become today.

“What made you believe the story?” Luke asks quietly.

“I wrote in my diary, shortly after we met and probably I tell you. Everything that happened that day.” my throat closes when I remember the written words. “It was hard to believe my mother, because I know she couldn't stand him, but I couldn't help but believe me.”

“I thought you stopped with the diary.” I look at him confused “That's what you said to me, a while after you told me about the day and about the diary.”

“Did you read the diary?” I ask with my breath caught. I remember everything I said about him. I feel my cheeks heat up. This is what I haven't read all yet.

“No, you never left.” he shrugs. I breathe relieved.

We stayed in silence for a while longer. It is strange that even with all this hurricane, I feel very comfortable with Luke. My body recognizes him.

“Honestly, I'm trying to absorb everything. I'm upset with the kiss, but, deep down, I always knew you weren't to blame, but it still hurts. Deep down, we both know we need some time and I don't want to lock you up to me.” he speaks looking at the garden.

I look at him confusedly.

“Are we breaking up?” I don't know if that's what I wanted.

“It doesn't have to be an end, just a break.” he shrugs.

“Luke, a break, is a disguised ending.” again he laughs, I don't know why.

“Deep down, you're still the same Marnie, even though you feel like an intruder.” he looks at me with a smile and again, I feel intimidated around him. I look away. “I don't want to break up with you, Marnie, but I know you need space and time. Like me. It's just a break, but if you meet someone and don't want to come back… I will understand and respect you.” he explains.

So it seemed easier, meeting someone new, starting from scratch. New memories, without having to stick to the past, without trying to reconstruct everything. It looks so easy, why does it seem so wrong!?

“What if you find someone?” I ask quietly, looking at the drawings of my cast, as if that were a thousand times more interesting.

“I doubt it, but if it does, I'll talk to you first and we'll see what to do. You need to get close to the people and I don't want to be a hindrance, they are your friends too and you need them.”

I need you too, hell. I bounce mentally, without the courage to say it out loud. I know I need him, but I can't make him stay if he doesn't feel comfortable.

“Won't be that weird climate? I don't want it to be that thing just because I arrived, you have to go and vice versa.” I face him. Luke watches me for a few seconds before proceeding.

“There's no reason to be. We are fine, we always have been.” he assures me.

I roll my eyes, visibly irritated. Why does he have to be so understandable? Couldn't he yell at me and hate me? It would be much easier to go on like this.

“You can't be real.” I mumble, making him laugh again, but this time louder.

“Come here.” he gets up and pulls me into a hug.

Luke was taller. Much taller. Then it got a little difficult, without being able to stay at my tiptoes. He notices and sits back down, burying his face in my neck. I close my eyes, feeling its scent bring me a sensation, but it doesn't bring me any memory.

Still hugging him, I scan his refrigerator, seeing a polaroid of ours holding Petunia, his little dog, glued to a drawing. In art, I see Luke, me, Petunia and my brothers all holding hands and several flowers around. I soften seeing that he still keeps everything.

“ I'm sorry.” I whisper again.

“It's okay, M&Ms.” he whispers back.

I leave the embrace, feeling lighter and calmer. Luke still gives me a kiss on the forehead before I pull away completely. As good as the mood was, I was not going to push my luck, I had better go. I send a message to Leah and wait.

“Er, Ash commented on a dinner on Friday, are you going?” I ask.

“Still don1t know.” he sighs. “But it is very likely. You want me to go?” he questions uncertain.

“Yes! I would like it very much. It will be good to be with everyone.”

“Then I go.” he gives a closed smile.

“Er, before I go …” I feel embarrassed again “What about Petunia?”

“Do you remember her?” question incredulously.

“It was one of the first things I remembered in PowerPoint.” I reply shy.

“Do you remember her and not me?” he remains incredulous.

“ I'm sorry.” I don't hold it for a long time, I cover my face and start laughing, really nervous. Luke stops with his hands on his hips, shaking his head.

“Michael went to hike the observatory and offered to take her. Maybe I’ll take her on Friday.” he smiles.

“Thanks!”

I hear the car and say goodbye to him. As I expected, Noah and Leah look closely at the two of us, like two curious children. Luke helps me into the car and gives me another kiss on the forehead.

“Please take good care of her.” he asks leaning against the window.

“I don't know what you mean by that.” Noah is offended. “If you still refer to the day she tried to escape and hung in the bathroom window, it was only once! And I was busy doing my feet.”

“Wait, what?” I ask scared from the back seat.

What the fuck did I hang on the bathroom window?

“Long story, I'll explain later.” Noah counters.

We said goodbye again and left. I stick my head out of the window, waving at him.

I don't know what my future is with Luke, but I was very happy that we got it right. And, deep down, I didn't lose hope, after all, I already fell in love with him once, nothing prevents it from happening again.

“So?” Leah asks.

“We took a break, but we're fine.” I smile happily.

[...]

I leave the closet wearing a black cotton dress, because it was the easiest clothes to wear, because of the boot. The hair stuck in a ponytail, due to the heat. And without makeup, I'm not into it.

“Well?” I ask Noah, who was lying on my bed reading a magazine that I was on the cover.

“Beautiful as always. Ready?” he throws the magazine on the chair, coming towards me.

“No!” I give a nervous smile.

“Everything will be fine. Everyone is crazy to see you. You will love.” he hugs me, rocking me from side to side. “Shall we go?”

I confirm after a sigh. Everyone was at Ashton's house, ready to see me, and as ready as I felt, deep down, I wasn't.

The rest of my week was quiet, few memories, but a lot of pain in my arm, but the doctor said it would be common for one day or another to hurt. My father, my mother, Leah and Ashton came to visit me almost every day and after much conversation, I convinced my mother to return to her home. So at the end of the day, I was alone. Which is great, because I have peace and quiet to put my ideas in place.

On the way to Ashton's house, I go over some points with Noah so as not to be embarrassed, I know they are not expecting much from me, but even so, I prefer to avoid constraints.

As we get closer to the house, I feel my stomach churn. I try to snap my fingers, but with a hand in a cast it doesn't give much. When we park at the door, my legs freeze and I need Noah to help me more than usual to get out of the car.

Noah rings the bell and the laughter that filled the house ceases. Ashton opens the door and, when he sees us, opens a smile, hugging me and pulling me inside. I take his arm and follow him into the living room, where everyone is standing looking at me anxiously.

Michael. Kyleen. Calum. Luke. Leah.

“Piggy!” I shout excited when she comes towards me.

“I still can't get over it.” I hear Luke speak indignantly, but I do not answer, because I am focused on that huge and cute four-legged being.

After falling apart with Petunia, I again lean on Ashton who brings me closer to them. Luke and Leah are further behind, since she practically lives with me and I’ve seen Luke before. I stick to Ash more, like a child afraid and embarrassed to talk to strangers.

“Hi!” I wave after a sigh.

Everyone gives a bigger smile and waves back. It's so weird, the way everyone looks at me, I know they know me and that's what scares me. Ashton sits me on the couch and everyone sits around me, staring at me, like I'm an alien.

“Okay, this is getting weird and uncomfortable.” I comment by holding the air.

“Sorry.” everybody talks.

“It's just… it's weird, you don't remember anything, none of those last years?” Kyleen asks curiously.

“No, no. In fact, I remembered a few things already, but in the beginning, nothing.” I give a closed smile.

“And how do the memories come? Do you have any pain?” I turn to Michael, who looks at me impressed, as if I'm a superhero of the video games that I know he plays.

“No, no pain. Do you know when you drink a lot and have a hangover that you don't remember at first and then during the day, the memories come?”

“Yes!” everyone responds, much to my surprise.

“My God! You guys drink it, huh.” I comment scared. Everyone looks at each other with a laugh. “Well, it's like that. They start popping up in my head. Sometimes out of nowhere, sometimes because of some video, photo or text.”

“Aah” they speak in unison, again.

“Any more questions?” I control the smile. My God, they really look like kids asking questions with an adult.

“Have you remembered all of us?” I look at Kyleen again. Unlike the photos, she now has several strands colored by her long hair.

I dry swallow. How to answer that without causing it?! I had remembered almost everyone but Luke. I had no direct memory of him. If he showed up, it was like an extra, deep down, far away. However, nothing he and I. Soon who I was most curious to remember.

“So-so. Nothing too direct, but everyone has already emerged in some way.” I try to answer, without being very clear.

I glance at Leah almost shouting ‘change the focus’ and luckily for me, she understands.

“What about your arm and your leg? Do they still hurt?” she shrugs.

“Not much and I made a point of reserving a space for you.” I extend the cast of my arm and in less than two minutes, everyone is proofreading to write things.

We ended up eating right there, each with a plate of pizza on your lap. I was still watching everyone, I didn't know who I was looking at, since everyone was talking together. To Noah's happiness, I remembered his hair and again Calum and I were out of breath from laughing.

In revenge, Noah commented on the day that I, drunk, tried to escape through the bathroom window and got stuck, leaving only with a lot of butter. I cover myself with the pillow when he throws the photo, my God what have I become?!

Suddenly, my mind starts to form another puzzle.

““I take a deep breath, feeling my body, especially my head, tingling. It's already the third round and I need to win again. Also because I bet with Ashton that I beat Mike and his friend, that I have no idea who he is.

I kiss the ball and throw it in the direction of the blue cup. The ball rotates around the edge and falls into the cup beside it. I shout with the whole audience at our side, celebrating. Mike turns the glass around reluctantly, while I continue my victory dance.

His friend takes the ball and plays, hitting it too. I turn the glass over, just like Michael a second ago. I blink a few times, already feeling drunk and very light. If a wind hits, I fly away, for sure.

Kiki takes the ball and closes an eye, aiming. I don't know if it's the high and mixed level of alcohol in my blood or if it really happened, but I swear I saw that little ball going in full slow motion into their last glass, signaling our victory. Three-time champions.

I raise my arms, giving, perhaps, the biggest scream I have ever given. I hug Kyleen jumping and spinning in place. However, doing this drunk is not the best option, since in a few seconds, Kiki and I were sinking into the pool.

I come back to the surface watching Mike roll over on the floor laughing and Noah looking at us both confused and angry, as always he was responsible for us. Poor boy."”

I resolve not to interrupt the conversation about the trip to Hawaii. Michael was laughing out loud as they left that Mark alone in the market. Leah once again withdraws in regret.

“Say, the sex was very good, right? Because you stayed with him for three months, something had to be really good.” Calum asks.

“Worse than not, I pretended every time.” At once, the whole room explodes in laughter. “It was a difficult time and he was always available.” she tries to justify herself. “And so complaining about it, worse than Mark just Emery.” she points to Ashton and everyone says "uuh".

“What?” I ask lost. “Was she boring?”

“Boring? Boring?” Mike raises his voice indignantly. “Luke is boring, she was unbearable.” I hold my laughter watching Luke look at Mike in offense.

“ I'm not boring.”

“Of course it is, I don't know how Marnie put up with you and your little jokes.”

“Because you never heard hers.” Luke counters and now I feel offended.

“Hey! My jokes are not bad.” I throw the cushion at him.

“Damn the jokes, let's talk bad about Emery.” Kyleen begs sly.

“I was afraid of her. She entered Calum's house by jumping over the wall, who does that?” Mike reveals.

“Was my house a pet and the hotel room in Denmark? It came out of nowhere. But nothing beats Mitch's birthday party.” Calum raises his eyebrows and once again, everyone is laughing, remembering.

“What?” but does it cost them to tell everything at once?

Noah once again takes out his cell phone and hands it to me. The video shows me and most likely Emery, tangled in a blur of hair pulling and scratching.

“That's not me.” I say in total shock to see my face very well lit.

“Oh, yes it is.” Noah answers.

“In total anger held for four long months.” Calum complete.

I watch Luke trying to get away from her, while Jack from All Time Low, tries to hold Emery. In the background I notice Calum sitting drinking, watching everything in peace. Noah was trying to get in the middle like Ashton. Leah and Kyleen shouted angrily for me to punch Emery and Michael… well.

“Who recorded this?” I ask seeing everyone pointing Michael. I look at him in awe. “Michael!”

“You wanted me to do what? I had been waiting for this moment for months.” he defends himself.

“But why did this happen?” I hand the phone back to Noah.

“Because Emery was kind of obsessive and crazy!?” Kyleen answers quietly, before drinking the beer.

“Emery never liked you and the girls, but mainly you because of our friendship. Because we were doing yoga all day. She was very jealous and you knew it, but you stayed in your corner, didn't provoke her.” Ashton responds with a grimace, perhaps knowing that the ex affair's paranoia was nonexistent. “Until that day, Emery, I don't know, freaked out and both started to argue.”

“Until you freak out and fly on her like a lioness.” Leah completes with a smile on her face.

“My God what have I become?” I sink on the couch, astonished.

“Calm down, we didn't even tell you about the time you climbed on Calum’s roof to jump into the pool and got stuck in your pants.” Michael ‘tries’ to calm me down.

[muilkyu]

𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀

🐷 Hyunsuk

"What if she doesn't like my outfit? Should I change? I should add a necklace, maybe the rings aren't enou-" you ramble on fiddling with your clothes. Hyunsuk is laughing at you from the corner. "Why are you laughing? This is important, she has to like me."

"She's gonna love you. You look fine, I dressed you so of course you look amazing."

You turn back towards the bed plopping down skulking, "I'm still nervous. Your mom is a big part of your life and I really need her to like me."

Hyunsuk makes his way over to the bed pulling you back up into a hug, "My mom will love anyone that I love. Now let's go."

🐼 Jihoon

"Stop, frowning so much you're gonna give yourself wrinkles," Jihoon says.

You scoff flicking him on the head, "I'm nervous. You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to comfort me."

"Nah, you'll be fine," Jihoon concludes, "Also you hit hard I think I have a bump now."

"Oh come on Hoonie. Do you think they will like me?"

"Honestly, I don't know," He replies and you reach out and flick him again, "Oww, okay I'll be serious. I think they will like you. They might ask you a lot of questions, but they just want to get to know you."

"This going to be a long dinner isn't it?" You question.

"Yep, they are going to find out every single detail about your life. I'm going to tell embarrassing stories to them because I love you oh so much."

🐨 Junkyu

"Why are you sweating too? It's not like this is the first time you have met your parents," you complain. Junkyu looks more nervous than you which is ironic.

He rubs his sweaty hands on his jeans, "I know but they are very straightforward. If they don't like you they will tell you."

You nod looking down, "Do you think they won't like me then?"

"I honestly have no idea but regardless of what they think I still want to be with you." Junkyu's sweaty hands grasp yours and he leaves a small kiss on your index finger.

🐯 Yoshi

"You know what I should have brought a gift we should turn around. Don't you bring a card or something to the first meeting?"

"I don't think that's a thing," Yoshi answered.

"I should have gotten a plant or something. People like plants. Is your mom a plant person?" Asking all these questions is actually helping your nerves.

"No, my sister might be though." He ponders.

"That doesn't help me at all. You know what let's just get this over with."

Yoshi places his hands on your shoulders slowly rubbing them. He looks you in the eyes, "I get that you're scared, but I promise my mom is probably more scared or meet you than you are. Look we don't have to do this yet if you are nervous."

You contemplate the odds of pushing back the date. While extremely tempting it also means so much to Yoshi that you get along with his family. Instead of opting out you just shake your head, "This means a lot to you. Plus your mom sounds lovely. Let's do this."

🐹 Mashiho

"Do you even know how this is going to go?" You ask picking at a piece of lint on Mashiho's shirt.

"I think it will be fine," Mashiho replies, "My parents have always supported me. I don't see why this would be any different."

"Well you have never introduced a girlfriend this is different. If they think I have a bad influence on you or I am not to their standard they won't approve."

"My parents aren't like that. Also you aren't the type of person that someone wouldn't fall in love with. The more they talk and get to know you the more they will see why I love you."

🦁 Jaehyuk

"This is the dress you should wear," Jaehyuk concludes pulling out the yellow sun dress from your closet.

You shake your head, "No, I wore that one last week I got a black stain on the end of it. I can't get it out."

"Oh," he puts the dress back in the closet reaching for another, "What about this one?" He's holding up a white romper that you got last summer.

"That one makes my ankles look fat." You complain.

"I don't think my parents will care about your ankles," Jaehyuk points out.

"Well I care about my ankles. I don't have anything to wear guys we can't go then. Let's just order some food and watch a movie." You suggest already reaching for your phone to order.

Jaehyuk walks over to you grabbing your phone before you can, "No, you're going we promised to eat dinner with them months ago."

You whine, falling back dramatically onto the sofa, "I don't wanna go. They probably don't like me for pushing the dinner off for so long."

"Just one more reason we have to go tonight. Eventually they are going to be mad that you don't wanna meet them. Look, my parents just want to make sure you're not going to hurt me or something. Your parents would do the exact same thing"

"Okay you have a point. Just don't baby me the whole dinner."

"I will not be making any promises."

🤖 Asahi

You and Asahi had decided to have a weekend in rather than going out. Seoul is currently going through the 3rd hottest summer it has ever had and the idea of walking around in the warm weather is not tempting.

"What should we eat tonight?" You question. Your current lying down on the couch dressed in sweatpants and a tank top. Asahi is sitting in front of the couch trying to find something to watch on TV.

Asahi shrugs pushing his hair back with his hand, "I don't know. We could cook what do you have?"

"I think I have enough for pasta." You respond sitting up on the couch.

"That sounds good," his phone vibrates as you start to stand up. He looks conflicted at the name across the phone. It's in Japanese so you can't read it. Asahi looks at you and to the phone as if he silently is asking for permission.

"You can answer the call, that's fine. I'll start the pasta," as you start to walk away he grabs your hand pulling you back.

"It's my mom she is going to want to say hi." He says. Picking up the phone ready to answer.

"Oh, well then no I should just leave. I don't know any Japanese."

"That's fine. I'll translate for you." He answers the call with an excited shout of hi.

That's how you end up face timing your boyfriend's mom with him translating for you. The nerves of course don't go anyway the entire call but at least you have met one of the parents now. Only one more to go.

🦊 Yedam

"Why do we have to meet at a karaoke place. I can't sing to save my life."

"You know my parents like to sing. They don't care if you can. They just want the first meeting to be fun." Yedam explains.

"This is not my definition of fun. I'm going to embarrass myself."

"You won't. I already told them you don't want to sing." Yedam reassures.

"What if they make me? I can't say no to your parents. I'll look like a bad girlfriend."

"Then I'll have to sing with you. We can sing a duet. I'll hold you hand the whole time."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

🐰 Doyoung

"My mom wants to meet you." Doyoung states. You both just woke up and as always he closed you to say good morning.

"Okay, when?" You question.

"Today at lunch. She wants to meet at Onion." He explains.

"Today? Isn't that a little bit early,"

"We have been together for a while and she thinks it time to meet you," Doyoung says.

You sigh before responding, "I don't know if I can do that. I am going to have to make a good impression."

"I don't think any of that matters. It's just brunch."

"Okay as long as you are there I should be fine."

"Oh I won't be there. I have to go to the store with my dad. You should be ready by 11 though my mom will be at the cafe waiting for you."

I have to go by myself.

"Kim Doyoung, did you just set me up to have a date without your mom without asking me?"

"I might have. You'll be fine. I have to go so you won't kill me. I love you bye." He hangs up before you have the chance to debate with him.

"Love you too. I guess." You mumble burying your head in your hands. I don't have the time for this you think.

🐏 Haruto

"I have a surprise for you." Haruto tells you.

"Sounds fun. What is it?"

Haruto pulls out two prices of paper from his back pocket and places them on the table, "Ticket to Japan for next weekend. Ta-da!"

"Oh my gosh really?" You exclaimed grabbing onto the tickets, "This is amazing, but do I have enough time to book an hotel?"

"You won't need a hotel. You can just stay with my family." Haruto replies.

"Is that such a good idea? I haven't even met your parents yet."

"Exactly this is the best time to meet them. Plus these tickets aren't refundable so you have to go."

"As long as it's okay with your parents I guess we are going to Japan."

🐺 Jeongwoo

"What do you mean your parents are on their way?"

"I mean my parents are joining us tonight for tteokbokki." Jeongwoo causally answers.

"You're just now telling me this. How long have you known?"

Jeongwoo looks up at the ceiling to ponder, "I don't know maybe the entire week."

"You have known the entire week! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you would react like this. They're just my parents. They won't kill you."

"They're not going to like me, I can already tell. I don't even have on nice clothes. I am in jeans and a t-shirt. I know I should have dressed up today." I pointed out. I am not even remotely ready to meet Jeongwoo's parents.

"You look fine. You don't have to dress up, you're already pretty. Looks aren't everything. You have a beautiful personality. That's why I like you. If I like you my parents will have to as well."

🐮 Junghwan

"This was really fun. We should have gone to a carnival a long time ago," you smile holding tightly onto a small blue bunny Junghwan won you.

Junghwan blushes a bit looking down, "I am glad you had fun. Next time we have to go to Lotte World."

"That would be so much fu-" you start to say before you hear a loud voice over the crowd yelling 'So Junghwan'.

Junghwan looks up looking around for the voice calling out his name. He pales and then looks at you. He barely can whisper out, "It's my parents."

As soon as the words leave his lips your stomach churns. Junghwan mentioned his parents being super strict when it came to even just letting him come out tonight.

"Are they coming over here? Do I look okay?"

"You look fine. Just turn around, smile and introduce yourself. I'll think of an escape plan."

"Junghwan-ah here you are. Are you going to introduce us to your friend?"

This was probably the worst way to meet your boyfriend's parents but at least they deemed you okay. You could live with that.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed~!

Requested By : @imajigglypuff3