#... I had this in my queue for weeks and you're telling me it's gonna get posted on the day I had to read that stupid synopsis?

[hubba1892]

„Und Sie? Polizistin aus Leidenschaft?“ „Manche Dinge sucht man sich nicht aus, die wird man einfach.“

[moony-mari]

1:58 am - lando norris 

Lando norris x fem!reader Summary: 1:58 am the time he walked out of your life or 1:58 am the time he walked back into your life Warnings: hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. max is max fewtrell, italics are flashbacks a/n: put my playlist on shuffle and started writing! Hope you like it send me requests if you want an idea to be written! 

☆☆☆☆

1:58 am the exact time he walked out of your shared apartment leaving you alone, tears cascading down your face as you wondered why he went away. 

Your knees gave out as you sank to the couch, tears blurring your eyes as you opened your phone, your heart clenching as you looked at the photo of lando that lit up the dim room. Immediately you opened your email drafting  a letter of resignation to send to all the quadrant members. 

Placing your phone down, you began to walk around the apartment, memories flooding your mind 

The rain hit the windows harshly causing you and Lando to look at eachother “we're gonna get soaked” he laughed. You'd gone out for dinner and decided it was a good idea to walk to to the restaurant completely forgetting how brutal the UK weather can be 

“I guess we'll have to run home. You wanna race me lan?”

“You don't stand a chance” he smirked at you as he took your hand and led you to the door. 

He was right, you couldn't win,completely drenched hair dripping you finally caught up to him trying to catch your breath ”you could've let me win arsehole” 

“Where's the fun in that baby” he took your hand, and as if on queue music started playing from the car parked on the side “let's dance” 

You're not much for dancing but for him you did. And so you danced in the rain, laughing like a bunch of idiots. Lando pulled you in for a sweet kiss which you gladly reciprocated, until you jumped the honk of a car breaking you apart.

“Do you want to come home or are you just gonna keep standing in the rain all night?” max called 

“Oi you muppet you played the song didn't you? You should’ve shouted us before” 

“Believe it or not i actually like you two together so i gave you a cute moment don't worry i got pictures and videos so i expect a thank you”

“Thank you max” you giggled at his antics and pulled lando to the car 

You placed the frame face down not wanting to remember anymore, the hole in your heart only growing as you continued to roam through the dark halls, leading to your bedroom. Checking your phone one more time pleading for a message a call anything to tell you that he was okay and that he was coming home 

☆☆☆☆

Nov 20th was the date. 2 weeks. 14 days. Complete radio silence. Your resignation had not gone down well. Max showing up to your place pleading with you to come back saying Lando was an idiot for what he did and how you shouldn't throw 3 years of hard work at quadrant because Lando was being a dipshit. Ria and the boys spammed you with messages.you told them you’d finish all the videos scheduled this year but after that you were done. You couldn't work with him anymore. 

How could you go back? 9 years of friendship and a 4 year relationship down the drain like it meant nothing. you’ve been there since the beginning. You held him while he cried and celebrated with him after a good race. But most importantly you loved him. You thought he loved you too. 

Dread consumed you as ria dropped off your abu dhabi paddock passes reminding you that quadrant scheduled a video filming the last race of the year from the mclaren garage. You had no choice but to go. It was work after all. So you packed your bags (full of Lando's hoodies that still smell like him) , got on the plane and checked into your room on wednesday night.Declining offers to go out because you knew he'd be there and you weren't ready to face him yet. 

Saturday rolled around (too quickly) and you were getting ready to go to the paddock to watch quali. The Mclarens had been looking unbelievable this weekend, the progress they've made throughout the year clearly showing with both of the drivers being at the top in both fp1 and fp2. Your mind wandered to the possibility of Lando winning a race. Your heart clenched. A knock on your door brought you back to reality. “Are you almost ready, love quali is starting in 30 minutes? The cars waiting in the lobby ” ria spoke through the door. You grabbed what you needed and headed out. 

As predicted, Oscar finished fp3 in p1 with Lando just behind. Your heart rate was skyrocketing as you walked closer to the McLaren garage.Max knew how hard this was for you so he pulled you aside “i've known you for 9 years. I know when you're not okay. I know this is hard but this is the last time you'll be with us. Forget lando. I mean quadrant. Aarav, steve, ethan ,niran, ria, me the people you've spent the last few years with building this brand so enjoy yourself. I may be Lando's best friend but you know you'll always have me.” 

Tears pooled in your eyes as you hugged him pouring everything into it not being able to answer him verbally. You wiped your tears and continued to walk to the garage with Max next to you. 

Luckily Lando was already in the car when you got there so you settled into the familiar garage missing the feeling of watching live from the garages. Quali  went past in a blur and now all you could focus on was Lando's car going round the track setting purple sectors all around. Screams erupted as he crossed the finish line and secured pole position. Hugging all your friends and fully embracing the moment.

Lando soon made it back into the garage and Max gave you the heads up so you could go back to the hotel. You knew you'd have to face him tomorrow but maybe tomorrow you would be ready. You settled into bed and hoped you would be okay and drifted off to sleep. 

Loud knocking woke you up. Looking around for your phone you checked the time. 1:58 am. Walking up to the door thinking it was just ria you pulled on a hoodie and opened the door.You wrong. Lando stood on the opposite end of the door. Bags under his eyes and his cheeks more hollow than you remembered  he just stood there defeated. Until he finally broke the silence that consumed all the air around you

“Can I come in?” 

[888-fr]

WHY I DON'T RETIRE MY SKINS: an essay

Disclaimer that I'm speaking from a point of being established here, because not everybody can afford to run their skin shop like I do. I don't judge less established artists for needing to limit their skins because they can't afford to print a run with only 2 people on it. I'm also not judging anybody who does retire their skins after a set number of prints - whole different matter! I'm giving an opinion piece based on my own personal thoughts about running my own skin shop.

Okay, now that's out of the way. I really dislike the idea of time-limiting my skins. There's just no actual justification for me, as an established skin artist, to limit skins I know will sell... aside from prestige, and putting buying pressure on my customers. So there's a couple of reasons I don't like that:

1) Erodes trust in the artist.

Yes, I could probably make more money if I kept my skins limited so people HAD to pick up my skin on release. Maybe even all 4 colors of the skin, including the one they don't really keep in their hoard. Just in case they want it down the line but it won't be available anymore.

Is this good business practice though? Do I want people to start feeling panicked every time I ping for a release, because they just picked up a new project and really really CAN'T afford to be buying skins right now but there's 5 colorways of my skin available and they'll probably be resold for 2kg as soon as they retire?

Personally, no! I want people excited when I ping, not feeling dread in their hearts and budgets. I want people to be thinking: 'Awesome, a new skin! I can't afford that right now but I know he always keeps a few on the AH at print price even after preorders end. Even if I can't buy a skin just this moment, I'll be sure to keep an eye on his thread for when I have gems again.' Or: "Awesome, a new skin! This one doesn't appeal to my lair aesthetic, so I will just nod and smile. I don't feel the need to buy it in case it gets popular for resale, because it will always be on the AH for print price."

People tell me about unsubscribing from GASP because they get anxiety being pinged for skins they want but can't have. So I want people to stay on my pinglist because there's no pressure on them whatsoever to purchase anything. It'll always be here, okay? In the meantime, just enjoy the art, maybe preview it on a scry or two. I'll be here if you're back in three weeks, or three months.

2) Passive income!

I lied. I probably would've made less money time limiting all my skins than by keeping my skins restocked. A couple of reasons for this:

- My earlier skins sold worse. This isn't psychology, it's just numbers. Some of my most popular stock were made early on in 2021/2022. I didn't have that many sales then, so could you imagine if I had retired them immediately after that? There's 230something copies of SAILOR'S WARNING out in the world right now. If that skin was time limited after preorders died down, I would've sold "only" 50 forever.

- People see my shop stock whenever you ping for a new releases. I get 3-4 sales off auction house whenever I release something new and people check my front page. It's not a lot but it's consistent.

- It's a win-win situation, okay? If a skin is popular, there's no reason to time limit it to drive up sales. If it IS popular, then people are going to see it on other people's dragons, go "damn that's a nice skin," and maybe do an AH search for it. And if there's a cheap print price copy available, they're gonna buy it.

2) Reprints are easy!

It was a lot more annoying to keep track of queue numbers and inventory back when reprints had to go through regular queue for a week. Did I put in 10 copies of SUNHEAVEN already? Wait, are my kitsune aethers back yet? How many of MOLOCH are still listed?

Now I can put in a blueprint and get my reprint instantly. No fuss at all.

3) I don't want to buy into the 'this is a retired skin' hype...

This is just personal preference. It makes me feel a little bad when a public skin I made is popular and people can't afford to have it. I'm not judging anybody who does like it when their skins are rare, special, and sought after.

It's just... I get that part of my brain scratched from my customs. They're gorgeous, they're 5 prints, they're on the AH for 30kg if you really want one. Most importantly they're niche and high coverage enough that even if someone hadn't paid me to draw an exclusive skin specifically for their dragon, they'd never do well as a public skin anyway.

Here are some tips for people looking into keeping their skins unlimited:

- You don't need to do it like I do.

Blueprints are expensive. Even I don't have my entire catalogue stocked, only the ones I noticed always have reprint requests. For example, only SAILOR'S WARNING out of 4 total colors for my impm skins is kept stocked because the others don't sell enough to justify it.

If you can't afford to stock them 10 at a time, have the customer provide the blueprints. Shelving your skins but having them be reprintable with a BP and a fee (350g is good for 850g print prices; remember, 500g of that went to you purchasing blueprints in the public run, so it doesn't make sense to charge customers a whole 850g when they're already providing the blueprint) is a good alternative to permanently retiring your skins. You don't get a ton of people who can afford that, but the option is there for people who want it.

- Notice which skins sell!

If you already have a good amount of skins in catalogue and have trouble figuring out which ones to begin stocking, you can start by checking in with your pinglist. Poll them and see which ones you'd want to rerun.

- Don't have so many recolors.

It's a law of the universe that they more recolors you have, the worse they sell collectively. I usually do 2, no more than 3. If you have to time limit your skins to get 6 recolors to hit print, then it's time to cut those recolors down.

There's reasons for this: it's choice paralysis, people may want 'complete sets' and will skip out if you're making that complete set cost 4kg total, and it just plain doesn't make sense for very similar color schemes to cover 4 different skins. Feel free to print personal recolors or have custom recolors open.

[lonely-north-star]

jewelry maker mammon x retail worker mc pt 2

hi guys, two people asked for part two and now I'm here. Did not expect people to find enjoyment in this.

Part one above, not sure how to shorten it on mobile. Once again, this is me projecting onto my MC because I'm not suffering alone. Anyway, more craft store silliness !!

-Mammon attends the hiring event, dressed in a button down shirt and his hair combed. It's his Lucky Interview Outfit™

-He's kinda nervous because he really would like to work here and doesn't want to blow his chance

-The store manager recognizes him, and Mammon can't tell if this is good or bad

-Good because he's already got him laughing, and it helps brush over the fact that there's a few gaps in his resume

-The manager admits he had hoped to see Mammon there and it's good to put a name to a face

-Asks Mammon what he wants to work as, which Mammon kinda shrugs at, saying he's pretty flexible, but reminds him he's already good with the beads

-Says they'll label him as a floor person and put him anywhere as needed

-His first day is filled with training which he finds extremely boring until MC comes in to the break room

-She stops in her tracks and is stunned to see him there, before she recovers and smiles at him

"You're gonna work here now?"

"Nah, they just gave me a vest and name badge for nothing."

-She huffs and side eyes him as she grabs her equipment, rolling her eyes when she puts her bag away. Turns around, handing him a yellow star sticker

"For your badge."

-Suddenly he's even more eager to finish training and get to work

-His first days, he works short shifts during her hours and trains on the register (because everyone needs to know they claim)

-MC falls short of shaking him, sternly telling him to ask questions, no, she will not get mad. Yes, she may look irritated but she always looks like that. She'd rather you ask.

-They let him take over on his third day and he has great interactions with every customer

-He gets two credit card applications immediately. Had to walkie for help because he knew the script, but not the process (because no one ever gets them)

-The manager group chat receives a single photo of his tally sheet from the store manager because "Five sign ups! Three protection plans! Where has this cashier been my whole career? 🔥"

-He quickly becomes a favorite because of how good his numbers are

-No one knows how he does it but as long as higher ups aren't breathing down their neck everyone is happy

-It's because he's extremely motivated by the sticker rewards MC gives out. They're scented

-He might be good at the register but he hates staying up there when it's slow because he feels trapped. He can only recover the queue line so much guys

-Will beg to go on the floor if he's met the goal for the week and there's another person scheduled. Or will work to make the goal first and then beg to switch places

-On Fridays he works mornings in order to do jewelry repacks (Repacks are boxes of mixed products that get sent to us that we have to sort into other boxes by department. These things are like 12 x 10 x 20 inches maybe?)

-They are PACKED with products. The strung beads specifically come wrapped in bubble wrap or sealed bags by the SKU. Same goes for other products like findings, wire, and string. You spend a lot of time ripping open the package, pulling it out, scanning it, and then putting it on the shelf

-But see, Mammon knows these aisles better than the back of his hand. He doesn't need the scanner

-He'll unwrap handfuls at a time of strung beads and immediately start putting them out. Anything that goes in the next aisle he doesn't touch because he will not be walking back and forth, he's going to gather it all up and do it at once

-He spends barely an hour on each box, and once he's done, he admires any of the new items that came in. As a treat.

-Replen manager comes to check on him and she's stunned to find him done. She buys him a pastry from across the street as a reward

-He does help out with other repacks, but it takes him longer since he's not as familiar with the aisles

-Despises craft paint with a burning passion. Do NOT put him in that aisle or he will throw a fit. Threatens to quit (wouldn't actually)

-Gets frustrated easily with that aisle because the paint tubes fall over too often. And his hands are too big to reach for the one that fell over, and he'll end up knocking more over because the shelves are too close together

-Has trouble folding T-shirts. MC has shown him multiple times but he can't stay consistent with it

-One time she found him kneeling on the floor trying to fold a shirt. Has not let him fold since

-Now if they're working together, she folds them and he puts them away. It's efficient.

-After three weeks, he's gotten pretty good with memorizing the store and product locations. He has come to this conclusion.

Hell: Craft paint, T-Shirts, Open Stock Paintbrushes

Heaven: Jewelry <3, Kids Beads, Seasonal, Yarn

Neutral: Fine Arts, Ribbon (Thin Ice), Stickers, Fabric, Floral, Baking (Hates the baking pans specifically though), Wood, Frames, the rest of the store basically

-He likes making things look neat (actually likes the way MC looks pleased when he drags her over to show it off)

-If they're working together, he might get slightly distracted and trail after her to chat. She only allows it if it's slow.

-If someone needs help she'll shoo him away/send him off. He'll come right back after he's done though

-Otherwise she's walking through the aisles recovering with him and doing returns, handing him stuff and pointing to where it goes as he rambles about a new commission he made. Or the newest beads they got in stock.

"Says B 23."

"And they said they we're gettin' it for their partner-"

"There. Next to the red gift bags."

"-but how do ya not know their favorite color?! C'mon! That's like the first thing ya learn!"

"What's yours?"

"Blue. Or gold. And yellow, when gold ain't an option, because yellow is a lot more common. But none of that neon crap! Nah, like.. like.. I'll show ya when we reach the bead aisle! Anyway, they came back all-"

-'Yellow.' She thinks. Fitting, for someone who brightens her day so much. She shakes the thought away.

-She won't admit it but she does enjoy it. It makes the time pass faster.

"Did you know the beads go on sale Sunday? And we get paid this Friday. Are you gonna buy any?"

"...Are ya messin' with me?"

"Why would I be?"

"I'm going to buy so many things."

-MC starts to dread Sunday, and knows she's gonna have to reign him in. Oh boy.

-

hahaha pt 3 is in the works, i think. Because I had more ideas, but this got long again. Rest of this is me rambling.

Anyway, today I worked on repacks for Research™. And because I didn't wanna hear people asking if things are in the back. NO. I DID IT ALL TODAY !! EVERY LAST BIT !! (for t shirts and jewelry at least)

Took me four hours to do three jewelry boxes, though I did stop multiple times to help customers and go fulfill online orders. And unlike Mammon, I did need a scanner for some of it.

T shirts I did five boxes and took ten minutes a box since I didn't need the scanner except a handful of times. So it definitely varies on what department you're doing how long you'll take and how familiar you are with the aisle. For reference, it took my coworker 3.5 hours to do two boxes of jewelry.

Edit:

HERE'S PT 3 LOLOL

[straykids-gives-me-life]

Euphoria - JJK

Paring: Jeon Jungkook x Fem!reader

Type: One-shot

Word Count: 3.7k

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Lil bit of angst.

Warnings: smut, dom!jk, sub!reader, pet names, praise kink, fingering, Jungkook being complicated, major fluff throughout - especially at the end.

Summary: You and Jungkook sit next to each other in English class and it's only when your professor assigns every pair with a project that the two of you begin to realise how much you really feel.

A/N: This one is gonna be long and it might drag on so deepest apologies for that but enjoy the ride!!

You and Jungkook sit next to each other in English class.

The two of you have never gotten along.

"Hey Y/N, have you ever thought of wearing a mask?" Jungkook asks.

"No, why?" you reply, turning to send an unamused look to the boy.

"Because then I wouldn't have to see your ugly face every day," he cackles.

"Jungkook, Y/N, can we be quiet please," your professor says. "So, as I was saying, I will be assigning you and your partners with a project to complete over the next two weeks-"

Your face drops.

So does Jungkook's.

"-and I will be choosing what tasks you must complete for the specific type of story I ask you to write. So, one of you come up here to the front and queue next to my desk for me to give you a subject. You will have the rest of this lesson to plan what you will do with the prompt I give you."

You let out a quiet groan, but Jungkook manages to hear you.

Of course, he has to make an unnecessary comment.

"You're upset, at least I'm good looking! I have to put up with your ugly ass in my spare time for two weeks straight."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Jungkook," you say, standing up and walking away to get the prompt.

You walk over to your teacher's desk and join the queue.

After around three minutes, you reach the front of the line and receive your prompt.

"I want you and Jungkook to really bond over these next two weeks so with this, I want you to use this polaroid to take photos to prove to me that you and him have solved all conflicts. Use this to create a comic book kind of layout," he explains.

"Sir, you have to be joking."

"Nope, now get on with it," he says, handing you a polaroid and a small notebook to mate notes in for the actual project.

"What!?" Jungkook shouts when you tell him causing the whole class to look over at the two of you in confusion, your professor shaking his head.

Walking away felt like the worse decision of your life because you could only imagine the look on Jungkook's face when you tell him

---

"Look, I don't want this as much as you do but we have to just get it over with," you explain, placing the camera in front of him.

"I know you're way better than me at photography, so I'll let you have that."

Walking out of class with Jungkook hot on your heels was a strange feeling, he had never followed you out before.

"Don't try and suck up to me now, Y/N," he snaps, rolling his eyes and pushing his hair back in anger.

---

He grabs you by the shoulder and pushed you up against the lockers, his figure towering over yours with his hands pressed on the doors beside your head.

"Listen to me now, you freak," he snarls. "Just because I am spending the next two weeks with you doesn't mean I will begin to feel any less hatred against you, understand?"

"Jungkook, I couldn't give a fuck less what you will think of me by the end of this project, because I'll still hate you just as much."

Shoving his arms from next to you, you walk away flipping him off with an angered frown on your face.

This will be an entertaining two weeks.

The next period was lunch, and you were so grateful to spend it with your best friend, Jimin.

Jimin was surprisingly good friends with Jungkook which was pretty hard for you since the two of you hate each other's guts.

Because of this, it wasn't a shock to you when you found him sat with Jungkook when you walked into the cafeteria, a small smile on lips.

"Can you move?" you ask the boy, stood behind him.

"Do you hear that, Jimin?" Jungkook asks in response.

"Haha, very funny, now get the fuck up and go away."

"She's feisty," he chuckles.

You sit down next to Jungkook but shove your elbow into him, pushing him off the bench.

"Thank you," you smirk, looking down at him on the floor.

He sends you a death glare and scrambles up off the floor before quickly walking off.

"Do you have to be so mean to each other all the time?" Jimin questions, shoving a forkful of pasta into his mouth.

The next day, you had to begin your project with Jungkook.

"Yes."

---

Both of you were not looking forward to this at all but it was okay for this lesson as the two of you got to work separately to take background photos for the comic.

Jungkook took the camera around the classroom and outdoor field, snapping pictures of the papers and trees, letting them develop on the floor before taking them back in.

You were left with the drawing board.

You drew out the base of the comic sheet, the squares as to where each photo would go, where the text will go and who will illustrate each page.

To avoid argument, you ignored Jungkook when he returned to his chair, spreading out the photos on the desk and choosing his favourites.

You couldn't help but admire him sometimes.

Now was one of those times.

You knew you shouldn't but it never mattered as to how much you hated him, you had to admit he was pretty.

His hair hung over his eyebrow, his tongue poked out of his mouth to mess with his lip ring and his nose scrunched when he disagreed with himself.

Unfortunately for you, he caught you looking.

"See something you like, freak?" he asks, sending you a dirty look.

You scoff, roll your eyes and look away.

Why did he have to be such a dick all the time?

"Have you chosen the photos for the first page yet?" You question, flipping the paper back to the opening page where four empty boxes lay, waiting for photos to be stuck in them.

"Give me time," he says. "This takes time y'know?"

"Yeah right."

"Okay then. How about you go out and try to take photos of whatever could fit in this fucking comic!" Jungkook exclaimed.

"Jungkook!" shouted your professor. "I will not be hearing any more of that language, do you understand?"

Jungkook simply nods at him before turning back to you, his annoyance clear on his face.

You look away from him because you know he's right, it must take a lot of thinking to try and get some of the shots he did.

"That's what I thought," he mumbles.

---

For the rest of the hour, you and Jungkook didn't speak much, all it consisted of was him passing you the photos he liked and then pointing to where he think they'd look best.

"No, Jungkook, it would look better on the left," you said.

"No, on the right."

And even though he was still being a complete asshat, you quite liked working relatively well together, him concentrated on his pictures and you focusing on where to place them and such.

It was nice.

---

The following day you didn't have English.

Which meant you and Jungkook were going to have to actually meet up alone to do work.

Did I say that clear enough?

Alone.

You still hadn't figured out how you would even ask him as he's never willing to stay around you for more than 5 seconds if he doesn't have to.

Then... you cracket it.

All you had to do was ask Jimin to tell Jungkook to meet you at the end of the day near the front gate.

And boom, you wouldn't have to speak to him.

But when break came around, you discovered that Jimin wasn't in today.

Shit.

There was no way you could go looking for Jungkook.

It just felt so wrong.

As if the devil himself could read your mind, Jungkook appeared from around the corner.

You hated this.

Running over to him, you tapped his shoulder lightly.

He turned to face you with a small smirk on his face.

"Yes?"

"Look, before you say anything, this is solely for the purpose of the project-"

Why the fuck did you say that?

Silly bitch.

"Would you meet me at the front gate after school so we can start work on our project? Maybe we could go to the park or something?" You ask.

"Ugh, I completely forgot we'd have to do that." Jungkook groans. "Fine, but instead of going to the park, we'll just go to my place and stay in the garage, it's pretty empty in there and I don't want your ugly ass in my room or house."

"Oh okay." You respond, not expecting him to take you to where he lives.

"Are you going to leave or just stand here and embarrass yourself even more?" He grins.

You roll your eyes at him and walk away, giving him the finger as you left the cafeteria.

---

The whole day had dragged on since you had asked Jungkook to meet you.

You didn't really know why but you suspected it was because you weren't looking forward to it at all.

You just quickly had to grab something from your locker before you left to see him.

Opening your locker, you felt someone glaring at you.

It was Jebu.

That asshole.

"Can I help you?" You asked, turning to stare at him.

"No, I was just wondering why you chose him over me."

"Sorry? Chose who?"

"Jungkook, obviously," he says. "I thought we had something."

"We did," you said. "But then you ruined it. So who's fault is that?"

He scoffs and walks over to you, placing a hand on your waist.

"Jebu, can you please get your hand off me?" You asked.

"Why?" He responded. "You used to like it when I did that."

"Not anymore."

Jebu doesn't listen to you and keeps his hand firm on your waist.

"Come on, Jebu, just let go. I need to meet up with Jungkook for our project."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he smirks.

"Then let me do it for you," a voice says from a little away from the two of you.

The boy shoves Jebu out the way and knocks him to the floor.

"She told you to get off."

That voice...

It sounded awfully familiar.

The boy turned and it was only when you saw his face that you realised who it was.

Jeon Jungkook.

"Jungkook... why did you-?"

He cuts you off.

"The only person who gets to be mean to you, is me," he says. "Now pick your bag up and come with me."

It took you a moment to process what he had said and and although it wasn't the nicest of comments, it did make you feel a little warm inside.

That even though the two of you hate each other as much as you do, he still helped you.

But anyways, pushing that behind you, you grabbed your bag and folder from your locker and followed Jungkook out to his car.

A black Mercedes.

"Cool car," you say, admiring it's perfectly shiny exterior.

"Thanks, I guess."

The inside was even more luxury.

With those white leather seats and a midnight black gearstick.

It was so pretty and you couldn't get enough of it.

Maybe Jungkook driving you around wasn't so bad as long as you stayed in this car.

---

When you got to his place, he immediately took you into the garage.

"Like I said," he begins. "I don't want you and your disgusting self in my house."

And he was back to being an asshole.

Opening the garage door, Jungkook was quick to point out where everything was.

Things like the bathroom, and where he kept his spare pens and such.

He had a small mini fridge in the corner filled with coke and beers if you wanted one.

The coke, maybe, but you took a hard pass on the beers for now.

The last thing you wanted to be doing was drinking with Jeon Jungkook.

You would never forgive yourself.

Sitting down at the nearest table, you open the folder with the comic plan in and the comic itself.

"Do you have any more of the photos or did we go through them all yesterday?" You ask.

"I still have a couple more but they're shit," Jungkook says, sitting across from you.

"Oh."

Now that you were here, you didn't know what to do.

"So I think what sir was saying is he wants us to take photos of us being with each other everyday for the next two weeks and then have like a page per day," Jungkook explains.

You knew it was weird of you to do so but you couldn't help but stare at his lips when he was talking.

His looks had always been your weakness.

"So what, do we just take a photo of each other and that's it?" You ask.

"I guess so, but I think we're meant to actually spend time together but I'm all for it if you leave now."

You hated how snarky he was.

He grabs the camera before you can, snapping a photo of your annoyed face before throwing the polaroid and camera back at you.

---

The next few days went by pretty quickly.

You had been going over to Jungkook's for the whole week and you two only had to get through the weekend to have the first week over and done with.

You were stood outside of school waiting for Jungkook to finish at basketball practice but because you were stupid, you had forgotten to bring a jacket with you so you were freezing.

The hour and a half of practice was soon to be over and you just couldn't wait to get into Jungkook's car and be warm with the heated seat on.

Over the past five days, you and Jungkook had grown slightly closer.

He hadn't been so mean to you in class or whenever he saw you in school.

He hadn't sent you as many dirty looks as he usually does.

He had let you into his house yesterday because he said it would let him focus better even though he had been perfectly fine the previous times.

Nevertheless, you still weren't allowed in his room and he still didn't want you or your "dirty self" in his room.

The bell rang, which meant that all additional student time was over and they needed to leave the building.

After a couple more minutes, you heard loud laughter coming from three boys walking out of the doors.

"Bye guys," Jungkook smiled at his friends, sending them a small wave before turning to walk towards you.

"Hey," he says, walking next to you.

You mumble a 'hey' back but because you were so cold, your teeth couldn't help but chatter.

"Y/N, you're freezing," Jungkook points out, a small hint of worry in his tone.

Next, he does something unexpected.

He removes his jacket and wraps it around your shoulders, making sure it doesn't fall off.

"My car wouldn't start this morning so we have to walk," he says, turning the corner to begin the walk to his place.

"But Jungkook, you're gonna be cold," you say, removing the jacket from around you.

"If you don't put that jacket back on, I will leave you here all night."

You then stop talking and put the jacket back on, sliding your arms into the sleeves and pulling the ends over your hands.

You had to admit that the jacket was comfy and it smelled amazing.

Walking with Jungkook felt quite relaxing, especially since you weren't going at each other's throats.

While it's quiet, you think back to how you had come to like Jungkook.

You always knew you didn't completely hate him but now he was being a little nicer, you recognised that he was a pretty nice guy.

"Are you warm now?" Jungkook asks, interrupting your train of thought.

"Yeah, thanks," you say, a small smile on your face as you look up at him to reply.

"Look," Jungkook says, stopping in the middle of the path. "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole to you this past year. I know we've both hated each other for a while but ever since I started really getting to know you during this project and what things you like and who you look up to, I've come to realise you're one of the best people I know. I just wanted to apologise for the way I've been treating you lately and I hope this next week can be us really trying to put all conflict behind us."

"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that."

He simply chuckles and looks down, kicking small stones with his feet as he walks ahead.

You stay behind for a moment, thinking about how you and him had completely changed your opinions of each other.

Breaking away from your thoughts, you realise how far Jungkook had walked so you run up to him and latching your hand onto his arm.

He looks down at you, shocked.

You realised you had just practically linked arms with him and quickly pulled away.

"Sorry," you say, rushingly.

He send you a small smile. "It's okay."

You look away from him, embarrassed at your actions.

"It's okay, Y/N, I liked it," he smirks.

A warm blush creeps up onto your face and you're glad it's dark because you couldn't have him seeing how flustered he makes you.

---

When you get to his place, he opens the door for you and lets you take off your shoes before grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the stairs.

It's only when he stops you and apologises if it's a little messy that you realise he's taking you up to his room.

"Jungkook, I thought you didn't want me up in your bedroom?"

"Well, now I do."

Okay then.

You and him spent some time sat on his bed watching the new top gun movie.

You managed to snap a few photos of him laying down in the dark and him the same with you.

You took a photo of the two of you making popcorn and laughing while throwing it at each other.

"Jungkook, get off!" You laughed as he continued to try and tickle you.

"Never!"

"Jungkook, you're suffocating me," you giggle, trying to lightly punch him in the stomach.

It's only when he pauses for a moment when you realise how close to each other you both are.

Jungkook spends a moment just looking at you, his gaze drifting from your eyes, to your lips, and then back up again.

"Jungkook-"

"Shh."

Your breathing becomes heavier and your heart pounds in your chest.

Jungkook slowly leans in towards you, his nose grazing yours as you close your eyes and place your hands on the sides of his face.

Your lips join with his in a gentle kiss.

His hands move down to your waist so he can pull you up from underneath him and place you in an upright position.

His tongue slides along your bottom lip as you grant entrance.

The kiss begins to develop into something more desperate, your fingers intertwining into his hair and softly pulling at the roots, earning a small moan from him.

Hearing this, you pull away.

"Are you okay?" Jungkook asks in a panic. "Do you want to stop?"

"Jungkook... should we be doing this?"

"Well, it's not wrong for us to," he responds.

"I know, but it feels different with you," you say.

"If you start to feel uncomfortable, just stop me, okay?"

You nod as he attaches his lips back on yours for a peck before moving down to your jaw and neck.

You whisper out a moan at the feeling of Jungkook's soft sucking on your neck, his lips marking the skin.

You feel his hand slide down your front and slip under your skirt.

His cold hand on your inner thigh makes you feel a want and need towards him, your core soaked and ready for him.

"Is this okay?" He asks, his slender fingers reaching for the hem of your skirt and panties, ready to rip them both off your body.

You nod your head before he yanks them off you and teases your folds with his middle finger.

A moan escapes your lips as Jungkook slides a finger into your pussy, your juices coating him.

"J-Jungkook," you whimper, his fingers speeding up inside of you, the tips just grazing your spot.

You feel the knot in your stomach become tighter with every little movement Jungkook makes and it's driving you crazy.

"Jungkook, please, I'm gonna cum," you moan, pulling at his hair.

"Just hold on for me, baby, you're doing so good for me," he says, his voice soothing you with how smooth it sounds.

"You're being such a good girl for me, just hold on a little longer."

You let out a cry of pleasure as Jungkook adds a third finger into you, stretching your hole out even more.

"I can't take it, Kook, I need to cum," you gasp.

With a small 'okay' from him, you become undone under his gaze.

You let out a loud moan as you release all over his fingers, your white liquid coating his hand and dripping down your thighs as he pulls his hand out of you.

---

"Such a good girl," Jungkook says, stroking your hair with his now cleaned hand.

"It's a shame we didn't get a polaroid of it," you joke.

"Next time," he smirks.

"Next time?" You question.

Jungkook simply nods before pulling you into his chest and dozes off with you, your body wrapped around his.

[frecklystars]

I have no idea if I should come back online or not. I've been offline since. my god, what. fucking April? May?? My queue only has like 10 posts so I should refill that but tbh I don't see a point if I don't really feel anything. I am just a husk, I can't enjoy anything, I am just so numb all the fucking time. I have been doing so bad and nothing is helping and I am so fucking miserable when I can't self ship. I'm in pain all the time and I need my F/Os to help me get through the day but that's so hard when I look at them and watch the movies and feel absolutely nothing. I tried watching a bunch of ryan interviews/movies/shows for the last couple of weeks and there is just. nothing

September is my bday month and every year I try really hard to be extra gentle with myself. and I originally planned to stay offline for the entire month bc I just, I don't wanna fucking be here. I hate being on this hellsite. I hate feeling pressured to get back to so many people when my energy is so low. I don't find any joy scrolling through my dashboard. I don't find joy in making edits or drawing anymore. I don't enjoy my time on here anymore bc I cannot find joy in self shipping anymore. But I don't go a day without going into fight or flight mode, or having a nightmare or a flashback, or stress vomiting, there is always something, and my Ryan F/Os were really helping me get through it for at least a year, but now it's like... the last 4 months I've just felt nothing and I feel so utterly miserable

I can't afford a cptsd therapist anymore but I try to see my regular therapist once a month if I can afford it, and she said it's best for me to try to get back online at least once in a while, bc I'm just... rotting in my room and then going to work at both of my jobs and then coming home and missing my F/Os, unable to cope with triggers since I'm not able to self ship, and just rotting again. My sleep schedule is so fucked up bc of my nightmares/panic attacks I've had every night for nearly two years. I get zero to three hours of sleep every night for the last two years. I'm exhausted all the time and! it makes sense that I'm doing poorly bc your brain makes serotonin when you're sleeping! and if I'm literally never sleeping then ofc I'm not gonna have the stupid happy chemical in my stupid brain. and I'm not eating every day since I am trying so hard to save money, and skipping meals is obviously bad for your brain too, and I'm not socializing as regularly bc I'm so goddamn depressed. so my therapist said I should try to be online again even if it's just once a week, just to make F/O edits or something. fake it til you make it, try to build that habit again. but that feels so hard! I am so numb here! and I have so many bad memories associated with the abuse I've endured that I can't log into this hellsite without just feeling so fucking awful.

I am so tired of living in fight or flight mode and getting shaky from adrenaline rushes all the time and i'm so tired of not feeling like I can trust the people around me because of how much bullshit I've had to go through in the last two years of people purposefully being kind to me in order to betray my trust and manipulate me. I really wish I could publicly talk about what happened to me. I really wish I could publicly tell you all every single little thing that I have been put through in the last 2 years. I wish I could tell you who's doing it and I wish I could post everything... obviously not for witch hunt purposes, but just so people can know what's going on and idk help me, send me support, tell me "hey it's gonna be okay" literally anything, or at the very least just so I can warn you how fucked up a group of people are and say "hey don't interact with these people I've had to actually call the police on them bc they're Fucking Insane". but I refuse to talk about my situation publicly because it won't do anything but cause drama, it will make things worse in the long run, so I stay in my own lane, I just fucking sit here, I never talk bad about anybody anywhere even in private, I never name drop, I am just trying so hard to exist and stay in my corner.

I've been so paranoid for 4 months now bc of all of the stalking I've been put thru in the last two years. I don't trust people, and it bled into self shipping so I feel like I can't trust my F/Os. I know F/Os aren't real yeah yeah I know they're fictional, but idk how else to explain it. Think of the worst possible thing someone can do to you. anything you can think of; I have been thru it. online abuse and offline abuse. my F/Os got tied into that. I was conditioned to believe that these things that were happening to me would be my F/O's desires as well. that they'd want to abuse me the same way because they love me. that I am their "most special person" and that they'd feel an "urge to hurt me". especially if I was in a skirt. especially if I looked scared. blah blah blah all this shit I was told for months and months. endured in real time and then told my F/Os would want to do the same exact thing to me because they love me. that I am only loved through violence and manipulation. because of all of this I've been put through, I genuinely believe I am only capable of being loved if it's through violence whether this is IRL or with F/Os, and anyone who is being kind to me is secretly out to get me. this is such an awful way to live and I don't know how to stop thinking like this. I don't know how to shake it off. I'm so tired.

I want to stop having an immediate stress reaction, my brain spiking my blood with adrenaline saying "you're in danger!! you're gonna die!! you're gonna die!! you need to run!!" every time I see a stupid fictional robot, or certain clothes, or colors, or. whatever. I am so sick of it. It is exhausting dealing with so much stress and anxiety every single day!! every second that you're alive!! I cannot put into words how fucking terrible it feels!!! it isn't just a "eh this happens every once in a while if I just see my trigger" thing, it's a "I feel this every goddamn second that I am awake and even when I am asleep bc I'm having nightmares about it" !!! it's hard!! it sucks! it's hard!! I can't function if I don't have my F/Os and I don't have my F/Os anymore, not in the same way. I don't feel anything for my Ryan F/Os at all right now. Barbie doesn't make me feel safe anymore bc I don't feel anything when I look at her. I can't look at pink and think "ooh barbie pink" and try to get over that trigger. I just see pink and feel tense and like I wanna throw up. I don't see Barbie as a protector anymore bc I'm so numb. I don't see Barbie as a girl's girl who would look out for me, I see her as a potential abuser. I hate this. I miss her so bad. I miss feeling safe with F/Os. I am trying really hard to get that Ryan/Barbie hyperfixation train going again but I don't know how to do that when I am so miserable. I don't know where to start. am I supposed to fake it til I make it? draw and edit and listen to music and just try?? or do I just?? watch the movies? it's not working. but even if it's not working do I just keep doing it anyways? it's like there's a brick wall in front of me and anything throwing love/joy in my direction just hits the wall and I can't absorb it.

So anyway I'm sorry to rant. I've only slept 6 hours total in the last 7 days so my brain is like. suffocating. i'm probably almost done talking. being offline hasn't helped me feel better. I think isolating myself is, uh. not good. but I really don't have the energy for dms. I can try to answer maybe like... 3 asks a week if I push myself. I feel so bad that so so so so so many people reach out to me and I just don't answer. I don't do it on purpose I just genuinely have zero energy, or if someone sends a nice ask, in the back of my head I'm always thinking "nope this is a trap. I shouldn't engage with this" and like, what if it's not a trap? what if it's genuinely just someone trying to be nice to me? I don't trust it. i hate walking on eggshells. i hate that someone can send me "hi keri have a nice day :)" and my brain is like "ah this person is spending one whole entire year pretending to be my friend so they can betray me. they're secretly on the side of [abuser] so they can try to hurt me. don't trust!!!" like. hello. i hate that i've had experiences like that, so now any person who contacts me is automatically a "possible threat" ??? it is exhausting living like that. it's hurting me. i don't think this way on purpose! i am not trying to feed/fuel these thoughts. i have a literal stress disorder. this is part of the stupid complex post traumatic stress disorder. i am! stressed! to the point of this hurting me and i am unable to function! and! idk how to fix it. it's like someone planted poisonous seeds in my brain for 2 years that have sprouted into ugly huge trees and I can't cut them down. because the bark is too strong. or something. and now there's just poison in my head that I don't know how to get rid of.

ok sorry for rambling, I don't know if I am coming back online or not. I am supposed to! I should! I really should! but I really genuinely hate this hellsite after everything i've been put through. i never enjoy my time here anymore. but also my birthday is coming up and I deserve to enjoy my birthday. I want to enjoy it. I want to get better so bad, and if being online and making edits and drawing pictures is supposed to help with that then I will try. at least a little. I want to enjoy my birthday so bad dude. i hate my birthday, I have hated my birthday for years, but this year I am so... hurt, I feel like an open bleeding wound that cannot heal, and I want to be so gentle to myself this year. I want to eat apple pie at a diner and wear my drive scorpion jacket even if im numb the whole time. I want to go to the movies and bring my barbies with me even if im numb the whole time. I want to go rock climbing. I want to eat soft serve ice cream and not feel guilty. I want to learn how to watercolor paint even if i'm gonna suck at it at first. I have 3 F/O anniversaries coming up. K on the 1st, Driver on the 18th, Lars on the 26th. I should enjoy these days. I am not looking forward to any of it. I am just. numb. but I need to try. I cannot just sit here and tell myself it's hopeless. but then again I don't have energy to do anything other than that. but whatever, I will try even if it's just, like, one single day this month where I post art or answer one (1) ask. like literally anything I will push myself to do anything I want to get better SO bad

I'm gonna fill up my queue now, I'm sorry if it seemed messy the last month, I haven't checked it. I used to always organize my queue every day to post certain amounts on certain days, time it accordingly, make everything look all nice and pretty, but I haven't done that. I don't even know if ppl notice that kind of thing or not, I think it just makes me feel better personally when I know my blog is organized. I want to try to answer one or two inbox messages every once in a while. if I don't get to your asks or dms, I'm sorry, it is nothing personal I swear to god I literally am just a zombie right now barely alive and I am trying so hard to just. survive 😭

I love u. I'm sorry my tone in this whole thing comes off very bitter, I am genuinely just fighting to stay alive one day at a time for years and years and years and the cptsd made everything so unbearable and i feel like every single second im alive is such a struggle. I hate being so negative all the time I promise I am clawing my way out of hell to try to fix it even though it hurts the whole time. i want to get better not just for myself but also because i feel so bad that i make vent posts so often. i miss self shipping. im gonna stop here or im gonna spiral even worse. goodnight/goodbye ill touch base later

[duckchu]

I've literally been on the fence about submitting this request for a week now.

Well…

Only if it's possible, I would like a request for Sett Heartsteel with a girlfriend who is like Hiro Hamada… I'll try to explain it… let's say that Reader is an intelligent inventor (her older brother is still alive, I don't want to cry here), and she lives and works in her aunt's cafeteria, goes to university from time to time and she spends sleepless nights improving her older brother's medical robot. Let's say that reader met Sett when she was going to visit her older brother recovering from burns, and Sett was only accompanying her mother to a medical checkup for pain in her shoulder.

bye bye

I kinda got inspired by the old Inventor trait from tft so reader is friends with Ezreal

Heartsteel Sett x Inventor!reader

If you kept on working like this, you would end up in the hospital like your brother. You knew that. Especially with the way you were getting restless at night and started messing up during university and your work. But oh well. You made really good progress on the bot! You had to tell your brother about that! After your work you went into the hospital, but you felt hungry...so you visited the cafeteria, looking for something to eat. It wasn't crowded, only you and a lady with purple, almost white hair. You went to the vending machine and decided on what to get. And of course it got stuck. You tried shaking it, but you were too weak, especially since you were skipping meals to work on the robot...then the machine shook again, finally letting your food out. You looked to your left, and saw a tall, muscular guy with pink hair and a cute cat-ear beanie

- Thanks - you smiled, retrieving your meal and sitting down next to the woman, since the other tables were dirty. You didn't expect the guy to also sit down

- Momma, they said you're gonna have to wait half an hour.- he looked annoyed at the queues to the doctor.

- Oh, that's not so bad. Other wait longer - the woman smiled

You didn't want to interrupt their conversation, but the woman asked

- And how long for you?-

- Oh...I'm...here to see my brother...but he had to wait for like an hour. With burns.-

- Oh my...-

-Just an invention malfunctioning, I'm working on it right now -

- Ezreal's friend also had an accident like that -

- Wait you know Ezreal? - you pulled out your phone, showing a photo of you, Ezreal and Seraphine with the little crab bot you three made.

Sett looked at you, eyes lighting up as you finished your food and stood up.

- Well I got to go see my brother...- you left the room, going to your brothers room. You excitedly rambled about how you upgraded his bot. Also mentioned meeting Ezreal's friend

After you left, you went to your room, prepared to spend another night with barely any sleep, when you heard a notification from your phone. It was Ezreal

"Hey, just wanted to let you know my friend wants your number, mind if I give it?😘"

You smiled at your phone

"Not at all, tell him I'm waiting for a call 💦💦💦"

You laughed at yourself for sending those emojis. But that was the charm of texting Ezreal

After the exchange you went to get some work on the bot, making another batch of improvements. You then heard your phone ring. Unknown number. You picked up

- Heeey, I got your number from Ez, care to tell me your name beautiful?- you laughed at how straightforward he was

- Y/N - you said, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you set your phone on speaker and went back to work.

After that, you and Sett talked about well, everything. For the whole night. You were surprised when you realised the hour

- Not asleep yet? -

- Nah, too busy talking to you~ - he really had the audacity...but you liked it.

Maybe he wasn't a bad idea at all...

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 8 ⤍ valorant

"hiii chat today i'm gonna be playing valorant with kazuha" you greeted your stream once you started.

"we're dating now by the way" you added.

user1 cap

"i'm telling y'all the truth. she's my girlfriend"

user2 you have one of those?

"i get enough of this shit from my friends. i can pull and i'll show y'all today" you told your chat.

user3 sounds delulu

"i will put this shit in emote only" you gave out false threats.

user4 you won't

"okay i take it back, i'm sorry" you apologized.

user5 you better

"y'all bully me too much"

user6 it's our love language

"i think we all as a community should be a little bit nicer. i like to be appreciated"

user7 nahh we good

"i swear my chat shits on me more than the people that hate me do" you chuckled.

user8 FK THEM! only we can do that

"i do love y'all though so please sub to my channel because i've ordered food every day this week. i'm about to be broke"

naoi.rei sounds personal

"rei? how are you chatting right now, i haven't unbanned you yet?" you asked confused.

naoi.rei i unbanned myself

"sounds illegal, i'm reporting you for hacking" you joked.

you talked with your chat for a couple more minutes while waiting for kazuha to message you that she was ready. while you were reading comments one particular comment stood out.

user9 LOOK AT KAZUHA'S TITLE RN

"why? is it embarrassing?" you asked going to look at kazuha's stream.

duo's with bae @gameryn

"see! chat i told you we were dating! don't call me delusional anymore" you exclaimed after seeing the title.

"i should change mine then, it's only fair…" you said out loud going to change yours.

duo's with my gf @k_a_z_u_h_a__

"can you send me your name so i can add you?" you had just gotten into a call with kazuha on discord and were ready to play.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ Today at 7:48 PM bbyongbong #2252

"what is your name?" you asked while laughing.

"it's blackpinks lightstick" she answered making you nod your head in understandment. you typed it in and added her.

while waiting in queue for a match you talked about ranks and the game.

"you know how long it took me to get out of gold! i was there for almost a year!" you complained to the japanese girl.

"if we lose all our games and derank, please do not be mad at me" kazuha said to you.

"kazuha i swear if you throw and i go back back to gold i will actually never talk to you again" you told her.

"i will not purposely throw" she replied.

"i don't trust that but i'll believe you for now" after that conversation the game found a match and you picked your characters.

once the game started you stood in front of her character in game, "you wanna trade skins? my gun sings"

"yess give me" you dropped the skin and grabbed hers.

since the round hadn't started yet you went to go type in kazuha's chat.

gameryn im in y'all gameryn spectrum classic > any other classic

next round you bought a vandal dropping it on her body before she could tell you to sell it.

"dropping a vandal on round two is crazy! how can you afford this?" kazuha asked.

"i trust you'll use it well" you told her with a smile on your face.

"this is why you were stuck in gold"

"now that's just rude" you shook your head at her words, "it might be true though"

since you didn't have anything but a class you died fast and started spectating kazuha.

"you have such a great flank" you told her after she killed the second person. she turned the corner to kill the third person.

"yes, they don't know you're there" you said as she killed the fourth one.

"last one is boat" one of your teammates who just died commed.

she went forward and once she saw him she immediately head shotted the last person.

"holy shit that 4K, you're so hot for that" you hyped kazuha up.

"see! i knew you would do the vandal justice" you said as the next round started.

"it was still a crazy purchase"

during the next round, the enemy phoenix popped and kazuha killed him immediately. she got out of the corner she was hiding in and killed the sage. she held that same corner waiting for another enemy to pop out and they do, killing that one as well.

"hold on i'll bait for you" you told her running up and dying immediately letting kazuha know exactly where they were.

the saw the last one but they both missed their shots so chamber teleported behind making kazuha turn around. since she was hidden behind a wall she planted the spike.

the enemy chamber peeked the corner and kazuha killed him, winning the round and getting an ace.

"that's my duo!" you cheered.

"can you coach me please! i wanna play like you"

"yes! this is my moment" kazuha sat up to become even more focused.

after the round ended you asked kazuha what could have been done better to not die.

"uhm… next time try killing them… i don't know"

"kazuha you literally died first"

"i actually didn't die first; i died second"

"okay… i guess that is a little bit better than first"

"blue dude is windowwwww" you yelled out before dying.

kazuha jumped over a wall before killing the second to last person. she pulled out her knife to get the enemy's gun and died to the last standing person on the enemy team.

"why were you hopping around like that, were you trying to throw?" you asked genuinely.

"you said she was window!" kazuha retorted.

"i said blue dude! viper was unknown"

"okay then that was my fault" kazuha admitted.

"that was really concerning and if you keep playing like that i will leave this lobby" you told kazuha.

"i didn't say anything when you bought me a vandal on ROUND TWO but this is the kind of treatment i get" the japanese girl sighed.

"i believed in you" you simply replied. while you were waiting on the next round to start you took the chance to type in kazuha's chat.

gameryn kazuha is a pro thrower

"this is slander. suing you for defamation" kazuha said after reading your chat.

"why is everyone dead?" you asked once you realized you were alone, "kazuha help me!"

"sova is probably watching the flank" you peeked the corner to see the sova watching a different angle so you swung and headshot him, "yes now the other one has an op, but don't worry you're better. you have a double satchel so use that to swing quickly"

you swung the sage missing every shot, and needing to switch guns before finally head shotting her with a pistol.

"i only saw the last shot. that was so clean" kazuha told you.

gameryn get you a coach that lies to you 😍😍

"maybe you are a good coach" you said afterward.

"see! tell somebody to sign me" she exclaimed.

"you are signed"

"oh shit i am. don't tell my team i said that"

when the next round started you quickly pushed out and killed the first person before quickly moving to cover. you pulled out your ult, unfortunately missing it all. you slowly peeked out from the corner and killed the second one before moving some more and killing the third one from a distance.

you went around hoping to get the fourth one from behind which you luckily did.

"my ace!" you called out just as kazuha killed the last person.

"you have to earn it"

"i actually felt like i deserved that one" you said sadly.

"if only you would have killed them faster than me"

you playfully rolled your eyes before going to kazuha's chat to quickly type something before the next round started.

gameryn L coach

"maybe you would've gotten that ace if you would stay out of my chat and focused on the game" kazuha said.

"kazuha is the worst coach" you told your chat but didn't mute.

"you're unmuted" she told you.

"i know it was on purpose" you replied.

you two won that game and while you were waiting on the next game to start, you started talking about random stuff.

"we should have couple names and become edaters" you suggested to kazuha.

"immediately no" kazuha said.

"but it would be cute"

"i'll pass"

"yeah… that probably is for the best"

the game started and y'all were on the character picking so you asked kazuha, "coach who should i play on this map"

kazuha thought about it for a second, looking at everybody that already picked, "smokes, but of course whoever you're comfortable with"

"so omen" you locked it in.

it was the fourth round when you shot at a wall randomly hoping to at least get one, "that was all me, i got so much info"

"you spent the whole round shooting at a wall"

"yeah and we found out they weren't there"

a couple of rounds later as the spike was about to go off you saw the phoenix ult so you stood behind waiting for his ult to end.

"knife him" kazuha told you and you pulled out your knife successfully knifing him once the body returned.

"two more, there's no way we lose here" kazuha said while waiting for the next game to start. the game was currently 11-3.

"we're definitely losing after that" and you were right.

which led to this moment where you were the last two standing. the score was 11-7.

"i have blind" you told kazuha.

"do it" she told you and threw your blind, then went back to hold the cross with kazuha. you got the kill from the back.

kazuha threw one of her abilities down and you shot the last one threw the wall.

"niceee" kazuha said.

"we've done it. best duo out there. nobody can top us" you said.

it was 12-7 and one of your teammates stuck the bomb before dying and you killed one of the three people left. you teleported away from the bomb watching it from a further angle.

the enemy omen set down a smoke and your teammates pinged the spike for you which you sprayed at, successfully killing the person on spike.

you pushed into the smoke immediately seeing the enemy omen and killed him, winning the game.

"so i think my coaching was successful" kazuha gloated, "i helped you win us that game"

"you were a terrible coach. one star, but only because you're pretty"

"i'll take it" she smiled.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[nanlanmoarchived]

Me? Putting that gif twice so it doesn't bombard the dash?? absolutely

but yes! it's me!

i rise like the vampire i feel like i am these days to check in! this semester i had to hit the ground running, going straight from winter to festival to spring? not a vibe. i've been adjusting to teaching at 8am and let me tell you?? it's also not a vibe.

i miss being here and i miss writing with you guys so much. i'm so sorry that i'm holding onto things. i hope to find the spoons this weekend to reply to everything and throw it into the queue and then honestly?? probably drop my queue to like, twice a day to stretch it out. i don't want to formally go on hiatus bc i am still around and able to do things occasionally but it's definitely not the way it used to be.

i've been struggling with finding muse, both here and on discord and i'll share some of why that is under the cut below. trigger warning for death, suicide, and general mental health stuff under the cut!

if that info's not your vibe, i totally get it and i hope that you're having an amazing day and thank you for your patience and understanding!!

for some lore dropping, the last couple of weeks have been wild. my mental health as been a bit of a struggle as it usually is but coming into this week i had a stray puppy i found and rehomed with my mom that turned into a big stress mess, issues at work with my coworkers being blatantly disrespectful, and navigating through all of that while standing up for myself without feeling like i'm being a bitch has been an adventure. i'm not great at setting boundaries and advocating for myself and while my therapist is very proud of my work, it's been just that: a whole lotta work.

i've also been grieving really since the beginning of the year as i've lost three high school instructors and this week i lost one of my advisors from university. this morning i found out that he took his own life in the university theatre and it's just kind of a lot of information to process?? i mourn for his loss in our community and the loss of his life and also for our TD who found him along with students.

so, with all of this said my creativity is really, really low. i'm struggling with basic things while trying to keep up the veneer for my kids at work so i'm just tired but i do truly miss writing here and if i can get my mojo back, i'm gonna try my damndest to get something going.

if you took a read through under the cut, thank you. i appreciate you and your kindness and i hope that you're having a beautiful day! i hope we get to create something amazing together soon and i hope you know how much i love you!!

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[crinkled-emotions]

ok ok ok here we go. Lemme set the stage... Hangman is late to class (which nEVER happens right?? jk yes it does). He comes running, literally running and frantically eating his microwaved breakfast, into the classroom right as Maverick starts lecturing. Then Pete is like "kk fam we're doing aerobatics maneuvers today so suit up ASAP." Hangman tries to scarf down his food, Bad Idea #1, then go up in the jet and do all sorts of crazy shit, Bad Idea #2.

BOOM. TUMMYACHE.

(I have had too much coffee this morning but tbh I regret nothing)

......w*termelon s*gar

*sobs* watermelon... s*gar... I'm fine.

I asked Hangman what he thought about this and dude pretended to be dead and I was like well damn that's a vibe but also- dude, the world's not gonna end... or is it?

Anyway it's nearly midnight but my little brain says you didn't work today use your noggin for something useful and here we go!!

No listen I'm thinking of that one story about the jet, and the puke, and it all- I won't share the whole thing. It's on youtube. Sorry Glen lmao. (time stamped link!)

-

Despite being in the US Navy, where scheduling was key, things tended to be a little up in the air a majority of the time. The Daggers had come to rely on some very basic facts that would get them through everything mildly unstable or the rapid changes in their day to day lives;

The first, Rooster was the mother hen of their group and according to Maverick, he got it from his dad. For a man who had once upon a time almost punched Hangman for making a comment about his two fathers, he was incredibly docile a majority of the time and tended to have advice or a hug for those who needed it.

Phoenix always started the day by throwing an arm over Bob's shoulders at breakfast and stealing his hashbrown from his plate at breakfast because she wasn't quite hungry enough for a full meal but she was indeed hungry enough to eat them every morning. He'd started asking for extra in the queue and the kitchen staff found it hilarious.

Payback and Fanboy, once an inseparable duo, had now roped Bob in with them and the three of them spent a lot of time tossing a football around or talking about something nerdy. Bob preferred Red Dwarf to Star Trek and apparently Fanboy had never heard of Red Dwarf so they were watching that in their spare time. Payback, ever the supportive pilot, always made the drinks and snacks for their viewing sessions.

Lastly, Hangman was never late. Ever. Not even to a doctor's appointment on the other side of base, or to a gathering at Maverick's a few weeks back when he had a dentist appointment right before. Rooster asked him about it once, the first time they went through TOPGUN, and Hangman had shrugged, claiming he'd been raised that being late was never a good look.

-

Yawning, Maverick stood near the lecturn and reached for his paperwork, grimacing.

"Why are we still doing roll call? What are we, twelve?"

"Thirteen, actually Mav, I think I'm getting my first chest hair," Rooster deadpanned which earned snorts of laughter. Maverick sighed, leaning on said lecturn and grimacing.

"Bradley, please, now is not the time to be talking about your delayed-"

"-I'm sorry I'm late, sir. I had to- never mind."

Hangman came rushing into the room, some kind of microwaveable burrito in his hand as he took his seat at the front of the room. Maverick watched him for a moment, shock written on his face, and then he cleared his throat.

"Don't worry about it, I hadn't said anything important yet. Uh, okay, so if the email didn't send last night, a recap of what we're doing today-"

"-what email?" Phoenix asked, confusion on her face, and Maverick blinked for a moment.

"I can't tell if you're fucking with me or I didn't send it right."

He looked to Bob for support but Bob shrugged, staying silent.

"Alright then... I guess we'll go over it. This morning we're getting straight into hops, we're fixing some manoeuvres I wasn't so sure of last week, and then the rest of today we should be- Bagman, you wanna give yourself a moment to breathe before you choke on that poor burrito? What'd it do to you?"

Maverick had been watching Hangman out of the corner of his eye since he came in, surprised to find him scarfing down his breakfast. The younger aviator blushed, tentatively putting down his burrito.

"Sorry, sir."

"Mmhmm. Okay guys, off you go, get your pre-flight checks done and let me know if you need anything. Bradley we'll talk about your sass later."

"Sure thing, Mav."

-

Honestly, the breakfast burrito hadn't even had time to settle as Hangman scrambled into his flight suit. He could hear Bob struggling with his zippers as usual and glanced over his shoulder at Rooster, who was humming along to whatever song was in his head.

"Hey, mom, you wanna help Baby on Board into his baby grow?"

"Suck a fat one, Bagman, I don't see you getting into yours so easy," Bob replied dryly, yet he extended his arms for Rooster to help him. Rooster huffed at Hangman, but chose not to respond. Hangman grimaced, feeling his stomach cramp, and put his ass back on the bench for a moment to recover.

"Oh shit, you're gonna blow chunks before the hop?" Payback scoffed as he rounded the corner from his locker, heading to the exit. To Hangman's surprise he was actually talking to Fanboy, who was bent over the sink and not looking so hot.

"Man, those fuckin' 'ritos, I swear to god I get sick every time I eat them."

Hangman's body temperature suddenly dropped and he shivered, swivelling toward the sinks in the locker room.

"Hey, Fanboy, what did you mean?"

"I was super hungry this morning but I got to breakfast late enough that there were only burritos left."

Oh, fuck.

-

"Okay, split into two teams. Coyote, I want you to spend some time working with Rooster today, you and Hangman are completely in sync but you and Rooster seem to be ever so slightly out."

"Yes sir," Coyote replied easily, navigating back toward Rooster's jet.

"Hangman, today I really want you to focus on communicating with... everyone, really."

His stomach was cramping again, and he could feel bile building in his throat. He swallowed it down, one eye on the air and the controls while he frantically searched for the puke bags. He'd just restocked them, he was sure-

"You got that, Hangman?"

He didn't have it, but he agreed anyway.

"Yes sir, I got it. Hey, do I get bonus points for taking out Rooster?"

"Sure, why not."

"What- hey! Mav!" Rooster protested. The Daggers could hear Maverick laughing.

"It'd be nice for you to be quiet for five minutes, so sure, you two compete against each other first. The first person to get tone wins, we'll wait over here."

"Fight's on!" Rooster called, clipping his mask on properly. Hangman furrowed his brows, chasing him through the clouds. They were matched neck-for-neck, but then Rooster pulled the move Maverick had taught him and let Hangman pull up to his tail, trying to get tone. Right at the last second he pulled up and settled behind Hangman, tone sounding immediately.

"God damn it," Hangman hissed whilst the others cheered. He could hear Rooster laughing through the comms and swore, ripping his mask off to catch his breath.

"Alright you two, knock it off. Hangman, sounds like you just earned yourself 200 push ups."

The rest of the Daggers cackled. Hangman winced, pinching the bridge of his nose as his stomach grumbled.

Oh, hell, seriously-

"Alright, everyone invert, we're going to-"

His stomach cramped and then he felt the bile rising again, but this time it was coming up. Reaching for where the sick bags were supposed to be he found nothing and cursed himself, one hand navigating his jet while the other covered his mouth just in case.

"Who is that gagging? Is everyone good?" Maverick asked. When the other Daggers called back that they were okay, Maverick cleared his throat.

"Hangman, I think you should go back to base, yeah? Get back on solid ground."

"S-sir, I- Mav-"

Too late.

-

"Guys, I'm so- fuck- I'm so sorry."

"It's not the worse we've seen, but your jet is out of commission for the rest of today at least."

The ground crew peered into Jake's jet, matching grimaces on both of their faces at the splashes of puke all over the controls and his seat. He was still sitting on the wing, a bucket in his arms as Maverick watched from the ground. His hands were on his hips and his aviators were staying over his eyes, but neither of these things hid the concern on his face.

"How long have you been feeling sick?" Maverick asked, shielding his face from the sun with his hand.

"Uh, think it was the breakfast burrito. Fanboy wasn't so hot either."

He buried himself back in the bucket, puking up what little he had left. Maverick grimaced, watching the rest of the Daggers coming over from where they'd all abruptly landed to see what was going on.

"Did anyone else eat the breakfast burrito?" Maverick asked them. When they all shook their heads, he facepalmed.

"You're all excused. Jake, get down from there, I'll take you home."

"Mav I'm not going anywhere until the wing stops spinning."

"Fair enough. Scoot to the edge, you can pretty much slide on to Rooster's shoulders."

"Hey-"

"-what-"

"-shut up you two, just work together for once. Rooster, go and stand by the wing."

"Yes sir," Rooster huffed, Payback going over to give him a hand. Hangman passed the bucket down to Coyote who seemed mildly disgusted and then scooted to the end of the wing. He managed to slide down, wrapping his arms around Rooster's neck. Rooster caught his legs but then proceeded to pretend to drop him. It was enough to rekindle the nausea and Hangman buried his head into Rooster's shirt. In seconds it was damp and he couldn't believe he'd just puked on his frenemy. He was never going to live this down.

-

[the-ikran-man]

June 1st: Tsaheylu

We've rewritten this five freaking times.

Anyway, enjoy the fruits of our writing labor.

----

"Come, come."

Yeah there was no way Quaritch was getting in that water.

"I'll freeze."

"It is not cold."

"For you maybe." Quaritch was not a water guy, the ground and the air were just fine with him.

"You are being ngäzìk, difficult. Simply get in."

"No way." He's not getting hypothermia for whatever this is.

Rìkean huffed, "I cannot show you Apxa sang pay ioang if you do not enter the water."

"You're gonna show me what now??" What a great time to have only very basic Na'vi under his belt.

The na'vi man sighs, and repeats himself, "Apxa sang pay ioang, 'large, warm, water beast," They are like Tulkun. I show mine to you, she will see if you are good for me."

"Wait- good for you?"

"To teach. You are here to learn, yes?"

"I mean, yes, but-"

"Then you swim," Rìkean said before he dives and leaves Quaritch standing on the icy shore.

He really doesn't want to get in the water.

---

The swim feels longer than it is.

And Rìkean is a much faster swimmer than Quaritch is.

But eventually the pair are breaking the surface once more.

"See, you live, MilesQuaritch, you did not freeze as you said you would," Rìkean says, pushing wet hair out of his face.

Quaritch's chattering teeth say otherwise.

Rìkean might not have noticed, or thinks it's other sky demon thing he doesn't understand.

He lets out a sharp noise that reminds Quaritch of a whistle, but he can hear the chirp endings of it so he knows it's not.

The water is still for a while after, nearly a full 5 minutes, but eventually something shows itself in response to Rìkean's call.

The wave its very long body creates as it surfaces, pushes Quaritch back some feet.

Rìkean circles around from the other side of the creature, grinning at Quaritch, placing his hand on what could be the beast's snout, "This is Oare. She is pay sa'nok, my water mother."

Had this Na'vi just done the 'meeting the parents' bit with him?

Oare lets out a loud noise, snapping Quaritch out of his thoughts on the manner, and Rìkean helpfully translates, "She is greeting you."

"Uh, hey?"

Rìkean laughs, before he dips before the water for a moment.

He comes back up, appearing closer to where Quaritch floated, with something Quaritch is familiar with. Cupcake had a queue too.

Rìkean offers it to him, able to swim over to him with it due to how long it was, both queues tucked under Oare's larger front fins. When she swam they would surely trail in the water like long ribbons behind her.

"I'm not bonding with that."

"You must do Tsaheylu. It will allow better talk for you both. And let her see what sort of person you are, she will feel it, through the bond."

Rìkean again offers the queue to Quaritch, "Unless you have something to hide?"

Quaritch scoffs, reaching for his braid, "Course not."

Though he did, of course he did. He had tons to hide, he was not a man with a clean soul in the slightest.

But Rìkean didn't know that. And Quaritch wasn't letting him get a hit about it. It'd get in the way.

---

The bond with Oare felt different than the one he had with Cupcake.

There's a feeling of ease to it he's not used to.

It's rather nice.

The sort of feeling you could get lost in, like when your mom wrapped you up in a warm blanket.

'You have many thoughts, odd one.'

Quaritch's ears went back the moment he hears Oare though the bond. Yeah he's still not used to that part with it comes to bonding. It's not like that with Cupcake, she didn't talk to him.

"Got a lot to think about, I guess."

'Well, clear your mind with me, and try to think only the truth.'

"You say that like it's easy."

'If you have nothing to hide, then it should be,' Oare tells him.

"Whatever you say, old woman."

'I have had a few calves,' Oare says, almost in agreement to his words.

"I didn't need to know that."

@recom-week

[recurring-polynya]

Congrats on 1500!!!!! You deserve it :) I’d be interested to see any deleted scenes from Portions for Foxes!

There are two good deleted scenes from Portions for Foxes. Here is the angsty/sappy one (I have another request in the queue, so you' can'll see the bonkers one later). This happens near the end of the fic, so I'm gonna stick the explanation under the cut for spoilers, in case anyone out there has not read my four-year-old fanfic.

So, the first time I wrote the part in Chapter 4 where Renji accidentally tells Rukia that he loves her in the middle of the night, I had her get up in the morning and just go to work, so she wasn't there when he woke up. This is how that scene continued after that. The beginning may feel familiar because I scrounged most of it back into the fic later, but put it here for context.

This scene is actually kind of an interesting insight into my writing process-- I wrote it, it felt wrong to me, I was Angry for a week, and then I replaced it with the version that ended up in the final story. The flaw here, as I eventually identified it, is that the characters Say Too Much. I have a tendency to write my characters explaining everything about the story to the reader, which is not what I want-- I want to keep things subtle, I want to let the reader make connections themselves. Also, while I, personally, am constantly deconstructing and analyzing my own feelings and behavior, that's not a thing that realistic and interesting characters should be doing in stories. On the other hand, this kind of thing definitely definitely falls into the "no writing is wasted" category, because having a piece of text where I have spelled out what is going on can be enormously helpful for making sure it got sprinkled in there.

🌺 🍡 🍂

It's late morning when Renji rolls into the offices of the 13th Division, his arms full.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?" Rukia exclaims, as he dumps an enormous bouquet of red camellias into her arms.

"I'll find a vase," he promises, "I'm sure Captain Ukitake kept some around?"

"Leftmost bottom cabinet," Rukia grudgingly supplies. "Next to the extra paper." She eyes the white paper bag he has also deposited on her desk. It is printed with the label of her favorite confectionery shop. "And you know that's not what I meant."

Renji returns with a vase and relieves her of the flowers. "We need to talk."

She watches him try to fluff the flowers in the vase. "You don't know anything about flowers, do you?"

"I know about camellias," he responds simply.

She swallows. "Renji, don't."

He regards her for a moment. "You're right. I don't want to do this at the office. Let's play hooky."

She looks skeptical, so he snatches up the bag of wagashi and shakes it tantalizingly. "I'm going for a walk and taking these with me."

Rukia wrinkles her nose. "Fine. But only because I know you're going to subject me to this sooner or later, you never let anything lie. Now, help me get out of this chair."

He gives her a hand up.

"Did Brother do this often?" Rukia asks as they walk, trying to needle him. "Play hooky?"

She has repossessed her bag of sweets, although she did give him one. 

"He did, actually," Renji replies, a fond smile on his face. "It took me a while to figure out, but he used to say, 'Lieutenant! Attend me!' and then he'd go off somewhere, walking fast, very serious face on, me trying to keep up. And we'd go somewhere-- the first time, it was Soukyoku Hill, I remember that. And he would just stand there for a while, twenty, thirty minutes and then we'd go back. The cherry grove over near the Academy. The Royal Botanical Gardens. Those ugly sculptures outside the Art Museum. I think he took me along because it made it look like he was off doing something official, but I'm pretty sure he just liked getting out of the office once in a while."    

Rukia is making a face. "I think he liked being with people, but he didn't like talking to them. He did that to me all the time, too, although it was more often the woods behind the Manor or the gardens. He liked to sit and draw together, too."

They are both silent for a long moment.

"Only took us five months," Renji says quietly, "to be able to talk about him." 

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Rukia snaps, a bit too harshly.

"No," Renji replies. "Look, we're here, you wanna find a spot to sit?"

He's brought them out to the Red Hollow Gate Overlook, a place they have spent many an hour, the best view of South Rukongai in the Seireitei. It is the analog of the overlook in Inuzuri where they used to stand, looking inward. It was the place where they buried their dead, but it never felt morbid to them. It was just a place they all liked to be, a place they might pick to be forever, when the time came.

It is getting into late autumn, and Rukongai is mostly brown now, just a small ring around the Seireitei ablaze in scarlets and oranges. Renji tries to guesstimate where the color ends. 18, maybe? They've probably already had snow in Inuzuri. 

No one is up here today. Fall colors have lost their charm and it’s pretty chilly. Renji spreads his haori on the ground and helps Rukia sit before plopping down beside her.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"You don't have to--" Rukia tries to interrupt.

"I do, actually. This has been killing me, Rukia, so let me say my piece, will ya?"

Her mouth snaps shut.

"I have spent my entire adult life trying to be better than I am," he sighs. "A good part of my adolescence, too, for that matter." He smiles sadly. "I wasn't exactly close, but I was gettin' there."

"Close to what?" Rukia demands.

"To being good enough," he explains, as though this clarifies anything. "To feel like I would have something--anything-- to offer you if I were to, y'know, ask you to marry me."

Rukia takes a sharp intake of breath.

"And then-- just after the biggest failure of my whole life-- failed my captain, failed you, failed everyone, and I let myself fall back into being an absolute trash heap of a person, you had to go and ask me, instead."

"Renji, you were grieving. You're still grieving. I shouldn't have--"

"I'm not trying to blame you! I'm just trying to explain why I haven't been the husband I always wanted to be for you. That I'm not even sure if that's something you want. That even though I've been a miserable pile of shit, I still love you, for whatever the love of a miserable pile of shit is worth."

"Oh, Renji," Rukia manages, throwing her arms around him. "You act like I've been any better. The only good thing I've been able to do-- the only thing that's kept me from giving up-- has been trying to hold you together. And lately, it seems like you're doing so much better and I'm not, I'm not better at all, and you don't need me anymore and I don't know-- I don't--"

"Shh, shh," Renji says, taking her in his arms. "Of course I need you. I've always needed you. I've only managed to get my shit in line because I thought that's what you needed. I can go back to drinking my breakfast if that's what you'd prefer."

"It's not," she scowls back at him. 

"Okay," he nods. "But maybe instead of being two sad people who can't even talk to each other, maybe we can try to be two sad people who are trying to help each other. Who are trying to get better, for each other's sake, if not for our own."   

She nods, unable to speak, and stuffs her face into his side. A muffled “I love you, too. I’m sorry,” eventually emerges.

“You’re sorry? For what?”

She turns her head a little. “For making you marry me. For roping you into Kuchiki family politics.”

He guffaws. “I was the one who told you gettin’ adopted was a good idea, all those years ago. And you shut up about our wedding, I loved our wedding. Fuck Ichigo and his dumb ideas, gettin’ married in secret and fucking over a bunch of nobles was awesome.”

“I liked it, too,” she says in a tiny little voice.

Renji sighs. “Speaking of Ichigo, though… I guess it’s probably about time I go apologize to him, huh?”

“Why is he mad at you anyway?”

“He didn’t think I was doing a very good job of taking care of you. And I got mad at him back because he was right.”

“Do you have to go right now?”

Renji shakes his head, and tightens his arms around her. “Naw," he says. "He can wait. I’m busy right now.”

[mazegays]

I posted 445 times in 2022

That's 42 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (5%)

424 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@its-tea-time-darling

@thominho-incorrectquotes

@highgaydrama

@un-ah

@thomallyweek

I tagged 422 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#remember that i love queue - 135 posts

#thominho - 78 posts

#thomas - 49 posts

#tea - 37 posts

#minho - 36 posts

#thomally - 29 posts

#thomallyweek2022 - 18 posts

#nalby - 18 posts

#newt - 17 posts

#gifs - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#while it's evolved over the years the basis of the theory still comes from 14yo me there is definitely room for improvement discussion etc

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

BTW if anyone has questions about my wips (the whumpy slowburn Thominally fic and the empath Thomas fic... that's what's actually typed up. for now) or questions about like. most other things too feel free to send them! I love getting asks and talking about fics lol

9 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

#4

@its-tea-time-darling

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity ✨💛🌻

okay like I have way more than five things so I'm going fandom-specific here lol

--writing collective headcanons/bouncing around ideas with my moots

--adding onto @thominho-incorrectquotes posts either in the tags or on the post itself

--literally anything that portrays Thomas as the 'gifted kid' he is: smart as all get-out with no social skills (also. adhd Thomas. bc I am adhd and so are all my fav characters. minho? gally? sonya? harriet? you bet!)

--the people on ao3 who pop up every once in a while as having kudos all of my tmr fics (even if they don't leave comments it's appreciated)

--when people come yell at me about my fics, whether here or ao3 idc just!! yell ur appreciation at me it is appreciated

10 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

@its-tea-time-darling

because this 40k fic isn't getting any shorter and it's looking less and less like slowburn with each section

wtf you have a thominally wip what the fuckwhatthefuckwhathesjxbhshdsjxbdbbsdbbd

yep! it started as a way to hit as many thomally week prompts as I could in one fic, and has expanded greatly since, leading into thominally. no idea when it'll be anywhere near done, because it's not now!

11 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

#2

@its-tea-time-darling

i may or may not have started on thominho week writing

yes!!! this is great news!!! i have not started on this year's yet but i literally just finished 2020's like 10 minutes ago so that counts for something right?

13 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@monkey-d-momo

I wanted to know what you liked so much about my empath Thomas headcanon and if you're gonna publish your fic soon (no pressure or course, but like you, I really like this headcanon and I need more of it haha) Love you!

-thominho-incorrectquotes

okay, so you know when you read a prompt or smth and immediately have Ideas™️? That's what happened. I read your headcanons and was like: I need 500 fics about this immediately, and I have Ideas for one so I will write it myself.

Also, it's a different take on Thomas’s character, especially because we all see him as oblivious to, well, everything. Empath Thomas can be oblivious, but it has to be done differently, because he knows what people are feeling--he feels it himself. So maybe he doesn't trust his own emotions now, because while sometimes it's easy to tell that it's not his, he can’t always do that. Especially when they're very similar to what he's feeling. Hence Thomas sticking with logic and objectivity when he can, when he has time to think things through. He ignores everything he feels because he doesn't know what's his.

(This is not a good idea, Thomas.) He also doesn't talk to anyone about this in true Thomas fashion of questioning everything that's not personal, so as far as he knows, it's normal.

Minho eventually figures out that Thomas never seems to respond emotionally to anything, and they're a bunch of teenage boys stuck in a Maze. Like, emotional outbursts aren't super common but he’s never met someone who just... doesn't respond to anything. Ben's attack? Yeah, Thomas was scared, but then Ben was probably scared too (Thomas knows the anger didn't come from him.) So he hides his reactions as best he can and pretends they don't exist.

Minho figures out that Thomas can feel everything, and has no defense against it, when something happens to Thomas and Thomas, mostly out of it, tells Minho to stop worrying because it hurts.

(Thomas does not remember this, but part of the reason he sticks to the Deadheads to sleep here is because some of the Gladers have nightmares, which equals strong emotion, which overwhelms him and causes him physical pain.)

And so Minho starts trying to figure out how Thomas can block or mute others' emotions and help him trust his own again, but it’s a slow process, and then the Scorch happens and Denver happens and they don’t have time, and it turns out that Thomas has just been shoving everything behind mental shields and it's too much one day and well... that's definitely not a good thing.

This got a little long! I kind of focused on the whumpier side here but there is fluff that goes with it (and a definite happy ending).

As for the fic, the above is kind of where I'm planning on taking the longer version. The shorter verison, which will only be Fever Code Era, involves Minho figuring it out on his own and working to help Thomas. Then he gets sent to the Maze, and of course later Thomas does as well, which means all progress is reset re: managing empathic abilities. That will hopefully be done sometime next week, but my work schedule is still up in the air so no promises.

Thanks so much for the ask, Momo! 💜 Really hope I do this justice.

19 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[beneath-her-soul]

It's night shift again and since I'm on second break, I might as well do a lil life update here.

Last week was a blast! I haven't had so much fun for a very long time since all I do is work, home, chores, Ash and the cycle repeats. It started off with..

Tuesday, 27/8/22

It was my night off on that day. I went home and took a short nap before these two came! We celebrated Nisa's belated 30th birthday at my house. Tasha came quite early surprisingly and she told me she didn't even get to sleep after night shift. Oh boy. So we went to the nearest bakery nearby my house to buy a cake for Nisa. She had no clue of Tasha's arrival as I wanted it to be a surprise!

It was a small yet meaningful celebration among the three of us. Altho Nisa is no longer working together with us, our friendship still remain the same and we try to squeeze in time for each other despite our crazy schedules. Work has never been the same without her. The first two months after she left was dreading for me. I was unmotivated, sad and missed her dearly. She's always there for me when I hit rock bottom at work or in life eversince we knew each other in 2018. She's witty in her own ways and never judgemental of people. Every once a week i would drop a text telling her how much I miss her at work and just wish that she is still here. But life has to move on for her tho ... And I'm truly happy that she's doing way better than she was here in this organization.

Back to the mini celebration. It's been so long since we sit and talk for hours and just have a heard to heart conversation about life, love, family and work. That's basically what we girls normally talk about whenever we hang out. It's amazing how all three of us are different age yet we are still able to bond. The age gap isn't that far 1 or 3 years apart only so we tend to treat each other like sisters.

Did I mention that it was Tasha's first time meeting Ash boy? Yep! Tasha also owns 4 cats so pretty much she's a cat expert. She was extremely happy when she heard I got myself a kitten and she's been dying to meet Ash since i first got him. This Ash boy is so well likeable among my peers and they even had to make a date to meet him! Ash boy was pretty well behaved on that day and I was surprised! Literally. I have never seen how well behaved he was eversince I got him. I guess the child only shows it's true colours to their own mommy but not to the visitors. 😂

I managed to capture this adorable moment of Ash asking Tasha for mango cake as we were busy eating ours. He did get to taste it and he likes it! He asked for round two tho. You're gonna get fat Ash! 😂

Wednesday, 28/09/2022

USS with the colleagues! This outing was planned two months ago and I'm so glad it happened! It was definitely an enjoyable and fun outing with the people whom i work with. It's rare for me to go out with a group of colleagues as I prefer to just go home after work. But it doesn't kill to socialize once in a while right? It started off meeting the peeps at 1030am for breakfast at McDonald's Harbourfront. I was a bit late due to Ash as I had to clean up and feed him before I leave the house. It breaks my heart whenever i had to leave him at home all alone, tbh. At 11:30am, we made our way to Sentosa to meet the rest of the peeps there and we started off with watching Camera, Lights, Action scene first before we ride the rides. I haven't had this fun in a long ass time and it's something I needed. We even got free express lane tickets for all of the rides all thanks to Jody! She was a former employee there and had good contacts so we were very grateful for her help. God knows how cranky and impatient I can be when there's a long queue for every rides.

We left USS at 6pm and head to Vivo for dinner at Earl Swensens. We even had a surprise celebration for Kak Fida too! Everyone was exhausted but we sure did enjoy ourselves. Our legs were wobbly by the time we took the train back home. The next day, it's back to work for us 😂 lol!

Watch how annoying Khair was in this video.