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multiversallyy · 3 years ago

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You ever hear of something called IKEA rage and the stages of it? I've only heard the term used by my family, it's when you go past the stage of confusion when putting together Ikea furniture and you just snap, start cursing like a sailor about the instruction manual, about and at the furniture partially put together. If multiple people are putting it together and go into IKEA rage then they start to fight each other.

In the end only one person is left to put it together, muttering angrily at the furniture as they're somehow able to put it together alone, they are however willing to chat about random thing with people as that will help keep them from going from slightly frustrated back to the first stage of IKEA rage again. this info is for context of what I'm about to request.

I'd like to request a headcanon for how Sun and Moon might react to seeing/hearing one of the maintenance staff, Reader, go into an extremely loud IKEA rage while trying to put some difficult object together near the daycare if that's okay?

I thought this was asked on another blog of mine and I was SO confused... Also, I've never been to an IKEA.

Anyway take some hcs

Sun...

- doesn't like loud noises, would 100 percent try to step a little bit outside the daycare to ask if you were ok

- tries to calm you down, but understands the instructions just as much as you (which is not very much)

- asks if you want to squeeze his hand or take a break. which is kind of precious but not getting anything done

- the random topics he wants to talk to you about is either arts and crafts, or why you wanted to build this thing in the first place

- when you're done he's going to 100 percent drag you inside the daycare for stress relief where there is nothing that has to be built and no instructions. Truly heaven on earth after the hell you've been through.

Moon...

- Hates loud noises, but not in the fearful type of way like Sun. He hates them in the way someone who's hungover hates bright lights and loud sounds

- the random topics you'd get out of him are... Kind of philosophical? Moon is alone a lot, so he's kind of got a lot of thoughts in his head at once. Whatever he asks you is definitely going to be off-topic enough to snap you out of your anger.

- "Do you ever think about what's going to happen after we die? And if there's somewhere we go, do you think you and I are going to the same place?" "Moon, what the fuck-"

- other times, he asks you about the outside world. He's much more expressive about that curiosity than Sun, and sometimes pressures a bit for answers, but ultimately doesn't want to stress you out again.

- "This whole thing is just confusing, and now it's pissing me off." "... Are you going through the five stages of grief over an IKEA product?"

- "I'd do anything for this to just be over already." "Aaaand there's bargaining."

- His jokes are actually kinda funny. Based on the rumors, you probably thought having his help would be a situation of being stared down by little pinpricks on top of a void, but no, he's just mildly irritated with an existential crisis.

- Surprisingly, this whole charade ultimately calmed him down, because he's always glad to have something interesting happen during the night for him to interact with, instead of sitting blankly through the night listening for an intruder.

- If you DID follow up with any philosophy he brought up, he might want to be your friend afterwards, but you won't hear him mention it.

#moondrop #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #five nights at freddy's #fnaf moondrop #security breach #fnaf #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sundrop #sun fnaf #sun x reader #fnaf headcanons #this is one of the weirdest requests Ive ever gotten on one of my blogs and I love it

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cutiecrates · 6 years ago

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Cutie Reviews: NMNL Oct 18

Hello! Welcome to the blog :3 today we will be covering the NoMakeNoLife October 2018 box. This was one of the last few “this style” produced, so soon we’ll be getting to the brand new, remade NMNL reviews.

I hope you enjoy the review~

It’s a little hard to see but there is a design for this cover.

“This month we are joining in on the fun and celebrating all the glamorous spookiness. Whether or not you are planning o go out as a ghoulish creature or a drop dead gorgeous creature of the night, we curated this month’s box to help make your special night more fun! You will find the items this month will make sure you are sending chills down the spines of those around you with how chillingly stunning you look. Now, are you ready to have a great Halloween? We hope you have a great night!”

For this month, the winner of the contest could look forward to these pretty Sailor Moon green tea scented hand cream and 8-piece golden brush set, while runner-ups received a sailor moon Aroma UV gel.

The brushes are so pretty, I really wish I thought to enter this one~

Kyonshi Zombie Face Mask

Our first item are these ever-so-popular Halloween facial masks by Pure Smile. This year we got a cute one, based on a Chinese Zombie. It’s made from collagen, vitamin E, and Hyaluronic Acid to plump and soften the skin. As you probably can tell from the picture, the forehead tag glows also; a popular gimmick of Halloween masks.

I’m not sure what the scent is meant to be, but it smells like the fourth of July to me. By that I meant, the scent of burnt/used fireworks and noise makers. That deep sort of smoky smell?

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

Typical face mask with a semi-cute design and average results. The scent isn’t what I would say relaxing, but at the same time I’ve always kind of liked it so I didn’t hate it.

However, the glow feature barely works. It wasn’t opened prior to use, but it might be my fault for not using it when I got it; but I exposed it to light for probably two minutes prior to use, during use (from the rooms light, laptop, and an actual super-bright flashlight the entire time), and even after- it barely lit up. I’m pretty sure I have a different glowing one in my Kira Kira crate too, so we’ll see how they compare then.

I’d say skip this one unless you want to try a fun dressed-up mask and don’t have a scent preference.

Pokemon Nail Art or Body Tattoo

Our next item is our first variety of the box. Subscribers could receive either this large sheet of tattoos, or a cute little sheet of nail stickers :3 they both looked really cute, but I think I’d have preferred this one since I don’t decorate my nails very often.

So on this sheet you may notice some greenish spots. This item is called NEON Body Stickers, and it occurred to me as I’m writing this “do these glow?“ and I lifted my pillow nearby and hid under it and lo and behold they do! Like extremely bright! Not only that but the gold ones are shiny metallic.

Oh, and here’s a really cruddy shot of my hand using 2 of them:

I wanted to choose two smaller tattoo that I wouldn’t be too heartbroken over losing if I messed up or if they didn’t work, and I had to take this picture with my non-main hand... I should have thought about that before I used them.

It’s very easy to use them, you just out which one you want and remove the plastic, then place it on the desired location and soak it with a damp cloth for at least thirty seconds (but I probably did closer to 1 minute because the person I asked to help me keep an eye on the time didn’t listen...), then remove. It also suggested you give it 1 minute to dry.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As you may (or may not) be able to tell these work extremely well :D It’s been a whole day since I put them on and there’s no sign of damage or anything (but to be fair a lot of these are like that) and I’ve washed my hands several times since application. I’m in love with the metallic gold and how shiny it is, so I can’t wait to try a few more like it, and one of the neons too!

Heart Puff Set

Our third item is this ultra-kawaii heart makeup puff set! I love hearts and heart designs, so these are perfect for me, I made use of them as decorations until I got to the review. Plus they’re also a lot of fun to squeeze due to how bouncy they are :3

There are 10 hearts available, and they can be split into two pieces as you can see in the pic. I got 6 hot pink hearts and 4 white, so I’m assuming the mix of color is randomized.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Honestly, I have makeup puffs, but I never tend to use them. On the days I put on makeup I’m in a rush and I don’t think to get them and usually resort to my brush (also from these boxes) or fingers; otherwise I’d be using the silicone applicator I got some boxes ago.

However I did try one of these out by applying it to one cheek, while I used a finger on the other just to see if there was any sort of difference. I’m not sure if I imagined it but I applied them at the same time and it felt like the cheek I used the sponge on for the product soaked it in a lot quicker and it’s not sticky at all, but the other one still is. The skin feels a little different too.

I can’t see how this would relate to Halloween like at all- but as a cutesy makeup tool lover, I still give them a high rating. Plus you get so many and you can put them in several places, use them for decoration, and even use one for an art project if you wanted that perfect little heart shape. You even get a nice container to use afterwards.

Noyl Intensive Beauty Essence

This is a 30ml bottle of essence made to amplify the effect of other beauty essences and replenish the moisture in the skin and keep it looking youthful. It is made with Hyaluronic Acid and has a scent- but I have no idea what it is. It’s a... sort of... generic beauty product scent?

I’ve smelled it before, but it might just be how hyaluronic acid smells? I’m not sure.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I applied this to the top of one my hands without putting anything else on and I can feel a difference between them. It’s also more shiny than the other hand, and they’re both already soft but it feels a tiny itty-bitty smidge softer, and smoother too. It also dries very quickly if you dislike stickiness, and the scent is very faint if you have any sensitivities to things like that.

I haven’t tried it with another product or anything yet, but considering what I noticed so far I’m convinced this will do well.

Witch’s Pouch Lipstick

This is our final item of the box, and also the featured one. An elegant looking lipstick available in pinky purple or a burgundy wine, by the brand Witch’s Pouch. This glamorous brand focuses on the mysterious and mystical styling and makes enchanting beauty products; perfect for Halloween.

So as you can tell I got the pinky purple (mauve perhaps) color. Considering my two broken eye-shadow tubes I got I was kind of worried about this one, but besides the top being slightly squished there was no problems with this one.

To my surprise I also discovered that it smells like roses; one of my favorite scents.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It went on very smooth and evenly and I’m in love with the color x3 it doesn’t clash against my pale skin like I thought it might, and it has a lovely shine and you can taste the rosiness (not that I’m saying you should eat it, it just doesn’t taste bad if you should get it in your mouth).

I think it might even be a semi-stain because when you wipe it off it still lingers on the skin for a while. I touched my lips with my finger and got a small amount of product off, and after 10 minutes I took a sip from my bottle of pop and saw some of it on there, but my lips looked perfectly fine.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Quality/Pricing - 5 out of 5. The items are on the overall small side, but out of the whole box only one item is one-use, so I appreciate the fact everything else is either reusable, or comes in a large quantity.

Content - 4 out of 5. I loved almost all of the items, and the mask, the only I wasn’t too crazy about I didn’t outright hate, or even dislike.

Theme: 3 out of 5. This box is a half-theme. I like that they decorated the cover of the booklet since they don’t do it very often, but it’s so dark that it was hard to see. I wish they lightened it a little or made it more obvious. Meanwhile, 3 out of the 5 items definitely fit the Halloween vibe of the box.

Total Rank: I’ll give this one a 7 out of 10. It had a theme that it mostly matched up to, and I really, really love the lipstick! I was so surprised by how much I liked it and I'm super-excited to start using it. I really wish they would give us more makeup items like this~

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Lipstick - I wish I lived near Witch’s Pouch because I feel like this brand would be right up my alley as an aspiring gothic-lolita.

2. Pokemon Body Art - The images of Pikachu dressed up for Halloween are so cute! I also love the little zubats and I can’t get over how shiny the gold metallic ones are, and how well the neon ones glow! Don’t be surprised if you see me wearing these in future reviews.

3. Heart Puffs - I already said this but I adore the hearts and their squishiness x3

4. Beauty Essence - The bottle is very pretty, but I wish it didn’t look like my scented oils :P I’m not sure I’ll remember to use it too often...

5. Facial Mask - I thought it was a little bit cute, but it wasn’t my favorite of the box.

Well that will be doing it for this review :3 I hope you guys have found it interesting and I appreciate the time you took to reading/viewing it. Next up I’ll be covering the October Kira Kira crate, so until then remember to open one box of cuteness everyday!

#witch's pouch #cutie reviews #nmnl #nomakenolife #pure smile #noyl

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

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7 Dumb Back To The Future Products You Won’t Believe Existed

A good 80 percent of Cracked’s content is devoted to peeling back the kaleidoscopic layers of WTF-ness contained within Back To The Future, but this article isn’t about that. Nope, this is about an even more ridiculous topic: the many confounding ways people tried to squeeze big bucks out of the Back To The Future flicks.

This ordinary tale of a time-travelling eccentric and his pet teenager has spawned such baffling shit as …

#7. The Back To The Future Cartoon Was A Fucking Crazy Parade

As we’ve mentioned before on the site, Doc Brown’s character-concluding decision to father children with a historically dead woman and blast through time in a screeching lightning train was reckless at best. And so it’s only natural that the 1991 Back To The Future TV show would follow the horrific mishaps of this family, sandwiched with live-action science demonstrations by Christopher Lloyd and an oddly mute Bill Nye.

They’re like the Penn and Teller of mad science.

But despite its audience of the young and curious, an average episode of Back To The Future: The Animated Series played out like Rick And Morty episodes Adult Swim rejected for being too bleak. Don’t believe us? The pilot for the series starts with Doc’s younger son Verne stealing the time machine and traveling to the Civil War … followed by Doc finding a photo revealing that little Verne died for the Confederate Army.

“But hey, it says here that the Alabama chapter of the KKK is named in his honor.”

Doc eventually prevents this by creating a truce between Verne’s Confederate pals and the Union, and the gang happily flies home like they didn’t just irrevocably alter the outcome of a Civil War battle. That’s basically the story of the series, as Doc, Marty, and Doc’s kids manhandle historical moments while Doc’s wife Clara waits back home with sandwiches.

In the third goddamn episode, Doc brings his kids to the very moment the dinosaurs are wiped out by a meteor, saving the group by hastily stopping the comet and changing the future into a lizard-ruled wasteland. (One of said lizards looks like Biff, implying that a Tannen once fucked a dinosaur.)

This means that Doc is forced to go back and kill the dinosaurs himself, re-altering his actions so that the meteor gets back on a collision course with Earth … but not before one of his kids befriends a scared pterodactyl. So how does Doc handle this unfortunate attachment? Obviously, the rest of the series would involve the group goofing around with their adopted dino friend. I mean, otherwise, he’d have to …

… tear his son from the sobbing grasp of a doomed animal …

… stuff him into the time machine and fly away …

This also serves as the official series finale for The Flintstones.

… and watch as the comet tears through the atmosphere and vaporizes the boy’s dinosaur pal. That’s seriously what happens in the special “watch all the dinosaurs die” episode of this nightmare series. Happy Saturday morning, assholes!

#6. A Japanese Video Game Made BTTF 2 Into Crazy-Ass Anime

Anyone who played the early Back To The Future Nintendo games knows that whoever made them clearly didn’t bother to see the movies. Either that, or Back To The Future Part III cut a scene in which Marty ingests a crazy amount of peyote and starts seeing mutant cow men everywhere.

Presumably named “Beef Tannen.”

The Japan-only Back To The Future Part II Super Famicom game, on the other hand, tried to follow the plot of movie … and somehow ended up being even weirder. You control Marty, who spends the entire time on his hoverboard — because, realistically speaking, if you owned a hoverboard, why the fuck would you ever not be flying around on it?

The game starts on a grimly prescient note, with trigger-happy 2015 cops shooting at Marty for no apparent reason.

When we reach the alternate 1985, Marty goes around fighting disoriented crackheads, mistaking their agonized gasps for taunting chicken noises. Marty then discovers his murdered father’s tombstone, and he … seems pretty copacetic with this development, all things considered.

Doc, on the other hand, turns into an angry pink Gollum.

If you’ve ever wanted to see these iconic moments reimagined as demented Sailor Moon episodes, you’re in luck. When Marty discovers the 1950s girlie mag instead of the sports almanac, the mere sight of boobs gives him a stroke.

Which is weird, because this is after meeting his mother’s gargantuan dystopian breasts. Marty’s perma-smirk in that scene is somehow even creepier than when he was standing at his dead dad’s grave.

Also, why are they in the Technodrome?

By the time Biff seemingly vampire-bites the almanac away from Marty and gets covered in a sea of 16-bit horseshit, you’ll probably never see Back To The Future the same way ever again.

“I won’t close my mouth. I deserve this.”

And speaking of which …

#5. A Hot Wheels Biff Car … Complete With Manure

There aren’t a ton of Back To The Future toys, but the ones that do exist are mostly DeLorean-based. There’s a DeLorean Lego set, a remote-control DeLorean, and even a Power-Wheels-esque DeLorean for ’80s kids whose parents wanted them to explore their confused Oedipal feelings outside the house.

Sadly, this kid was easily taken out by Libyan terrorists.

So it’s only natural that the DeLorean be adopted by stalwart toy car company Hot Wheels. Recently, the company decided to expand their Back To The Future line to include not only Doc’s DeLorean …

Oh, sorry. Doc’s “Time Machine of Indeterminate Brand.”

And Marty’s sweet 4×4 …

“Complete with two coats of wax and Fat Biff’s tears!”

And even Biff Tannen’s Ford Super Deluxe Converti– oh, shit.

You can get a non-poopy version for an extra $300.

Yes, they produced a beautiful classic automobile overflowing with rancid manure, as seen in that scene and that other scene and that variation of the scene. It looks like an amusing Internet Photoshop job, but it’s a real toy which you could go buy right now … or, you know, make at home yourself with a toy car and some laxatives.

Couldn’t Hot Wheels have mass-produced Doc’s hover-train? Or one of those kickass police cars from 2015? Nope. Instead, we get the shit-encrusted rapemobile. Think of all the ways kids could play with this. “Oh no, Biff’s car got covered in manure … again …” Assuming your kid even knows what Back To The Future is, how are they supposed to integrate Biff’s car with their other Hot Wheels products?

“Yes! The race is delayed due to track turds!”

#4. ZZ Top Turns All The Characters Into Ogling Creeps

Along with “The Power of Love,�� Huey Lewis and the News wrote “Back In Time,” the surprisingly engaged recounting of the events of Back To The Future from Marty’s perspective. Sadly, we were less lucky with ZZ Top’s “Doubleback,” a jabbering spray of temporally-themed rhymes in no way related to the third film.

The one band you’d think you could trust to hitch their beer-drinking, hell-raising wagon to Wake-Up Juice, but noooooo.

Now, “Doubleback” is a fucking abomination, an artistic charley horse clearly farted out 12 minutes from the studio call time. But then there’s the music video, which superimposes the band into random clips from the movie in such a disjointed, cookie cutter way that it comes alive like a serial killer’s scrapbook.

GOOF: ZZ Top were only teenagers in 1885, so they shouldn’t have beards yet.

It’s everyone’s third-favorite time travel movie, perpetually interrupted with the looming presence of three guys who look like the personification of bathroom assault. By the end, they’re literally sticking their faces over the action so that we don’t forget to be bummed out by their existence.

We’re all for them supplanting Marty’s mom in this scene to make it less creepy, though.

But the weird stuff begins when this monochromatic onslaught changes the movie’s finale to include a pimped-out ride randomly rolling into Marty’s standoff with Mad Dog Tannen …

… and releasing three jean-short bombshells of various ’90s fabric patterns and foxy accessories, to which the movie’s characters react with stock disbelief appropriated from the original scene.

OK, we have to admit that these guys clean up nicely when they shave.

That’s right — Doc reacting to Marty’s fakeout death is the same expression as his boner face. Or maybe he’s wondering how a Cadillac Sedanette went back in time without a bunch of nonsense sticking out of its hood. Either way: boner.

#3. Pizza Hut’s Back To The Future Ads Are Rather Sad In Retrospect

Having the ability to engorge on a puck of meat and cheese has been every child’s dream since Marty’s mom hydrated a Pizza Hut pizza in Back To The Future II.

The most fantastic concept here is a 2015 pizza without a gimmicky crust.

So delicious. At least, if you ignore the fact that eating a waterlogged dough slice sounds like a fucking nightmare, and that the Pizza Hut of this future solely makes the equivalent of microwave meals. In fairness, the brand’s own advertising campaign had a slightly different take on their role in the future:

Their kinder, gentler take on Robocop was probably their lamest (and most inaccurate) prediction of all.

According to one 1989 commercial, the Pizza Huts of 2015 are built like techno mosques. It makes sense in the context of the ad, which begins with two unknown ruffians taking the DeLorean out for a spin, presumably after swiping the keys from Doc Brown’s ransacked corpse.

To save you 15 minutes on IMDb: It’s Mikey from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose.

The ne’er-do-wells zoom to 2015, where, to the sad grumbles of their stomachs, they find the streets barren of any pizza eateries, as Domino’s has long been converted into a hardware chain. Luckily, there’s still one place in business, and it’s the all-hail Pizza Hut temple.

The Noid was executed after a show trial in ’94.

It’s unclear why a restaurant that makes cookie-sized products needs multiple neon spires, but it probably has to do with the announcer’s assertion that, even in the future, Pizza Hut is the “only one place to get a great pizza.” The fact that Pizza Hut was envisioning an all-exclusive Demolition Man scenario with their brand is made that much more heartbreaking by the company’s actual 2015 situation:

Also depressing: the current state of journalism, since no one realized this graphic should be a pie chart.

Turns out that all the movie projector pizza boxes and eye-tracking tablet menus in the world can’t get us to that Utopian Italian palace where dressing like it’s the ’80s is still hip and (according to another tie-in ad) absolutely everyone wears futuristic solar shades.

The nuclear fallout has melted all of our eyes by now.

#2. Doc Brown Teamed Up With Doogie Howser For Earth Day

Back in 1990, people were really committed to saving the environment … as long as the extent of that commitment was appearing in some kind of extravagant TV special instead of cutting back on fossil fuels. Regardless, this newly-discovered sense of eco-awareness led to one of the craziest moments in pop culture: The Earth Day Special.

The special starred a slew of wacky creatures, like the Muppets and Danny DeVito and E.T., who looks to have been living in a filthy alley since the events of his film.

He’ll touch you with his “magic finger” for $5 and some Reese’s Pieces.

Since this was the year that Back To The Future Part III came out, Doc Brown naturally joined the cross-promotional fray. Who better to promote environmental activism than a guy who hoards large quantities of plutonium in a garage in a residential neighborhood?

The loose plot of the special is about the personification of Mother Earth dying. Doc Brown shows up in his DeLorean and offers his assistance to the doctor in charge of healing Mrs. Earth — who, because this was 1990, is Doogie Fucking Howser.

“Not even Edward James Olmos’ mustache could revive her.” “We’re doomed.”

Doc whips out his suitcase TV and shows them footage of how screwed over the Earth is, which is kind of a dick move, considering how she’s right over there. It doesn’t help that the clips are seemingly stock footage pretentiously edited together by first-year film students.

“What are those ladies doing with that cup …?” “Whoops, wrong year.”

As always, Doc ends up finding the solution: science! Not any specific science but, like, the act of reading and shit. Look, it was 6 a.m. and someone wanted to finish that goddamn children’s TV show script already.

#1. The Back To The Future Novelization Gets Dark

Movie novelizations are generally terrible, but the one for Back To The Future takes it to a whole new level. It’s the Back To The Future of bad literary cash-ins.

“What do you mean it’s not about a kid with a camera who farts fireworks?” — the author, probably

The book opens with a vivid description of a dead family getting bent out of shape by the detonation of a nuclear bomb, which turns out to be a scene from a film Marty is watching. This never comes up again in the book — because the author is too busy thinking up even crazier, tangentially BTTF-related shit. For instance, we get a scene featuring the Libyan terrorists casually hanging out in a shitty motel, which answers the question you always had: Yes, one of them is a psychotic former fashion model.

You can only be told to look “sexy like tiger” so many times before something inside snaps.

And she doesn’t mind offing Doc Brown because he … “looks Jewish.”

Doc goes commando in his jumpsuits in this version.

Even when it’s a scene we recognize from the movie, the author’s prose manages to make everything seem a tiny bit seedier:

Not that “Let’s hire your attempted rapist as our live-in manservant” is any less creepy.

The novel also features the most disturbing context for the phrase “giggled naughtily” in all of fiction:

A parent’s naughty giggling is typically reason #1 Protective Services gives when taking away their child.

The whole book is so bizarre and creepy that it wouldn’t be surprising to learn that it was imported from the shitty alternate 1985. And we’re only scratching the surface here. A whole other book could be written just pointing out all the fucked up moments, page by page. Did we say “could”? We meant “someone on the Internet did exactly that.”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/7-dumb-back-to-the-future-products-you-wont-believe-existed/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/11/7-dumb-back-to-the-future-products-you-wont-believe-existed/

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

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7 Dumb Back To The Future Products You Won’t Believe Existed

This ordinary tale of a time-travelling eccentric and his pet teenager has spawned such baffling shit as …

#7. The Back To The Future Cartoon Was A Fucking Crazy Parade

They’re like the Penn and Teller of mad science.

“But hey, it says here that the Alabama chapter of the KKK is named in his honor.”

… tear his son from the sobbing grasp of a doomed animal …

… stuff him into the time machine and fly away …

This also serves as the official series finale for The Flintstones.

#6. A Japanese Video Game Made BTTF 2 Into Crazy-Ass Anime

Presumably named “Beef Tannen.”

The game starts on a grimly prescient note, with trigger-happy 2015 cops shooting at Marty for no apparent reason.

Doc, on the other hand, turns into an angry pink Gollum.

Also, why are they in the Technodrome?

By the time Biff seemingly vampire-bites the almanac away from Marty and gets covered in a sea of 16-bit horseshit, you’ll probably never see Back To The Future the same way ever again.

“I won’t close my mouth. I deserve this.”

And speaking of which …

#5. A Hot Wheels Biff Car … Complete With Manure

Sadly, this kid was easily taken out by Libyan terrorists.

Oh, sorry. Doc’s “Time Machine of Indeterminate Brand.”

And Marty’s sweet 4×4 …

“Complete with two coats of wax and Fat Biff’s tears!”

And even Biff Tannen’s Ford Super Deluxe Converti– oh, shit.

You can get a non-poopy version for an extra $300.

“Yes! The race is delayed due to track turds!”

#4. ZZ Top Turns All The Characters Into Ogling Creeps

Along with “The Power of Love,” Huey Lewis and the News wrote “Back In Time,” the surprisingly engaged recounting of the events of Back To The Future from Marty’s perspective. Sadly, we were less lucky with ZZ Top’s “Doubleback,” a jabbering spray of temporally-themed rhymes in no way related to the third film.