#..? technically. bc davids there. WHATEVER IM COUNTING IT

[sangthael]

get your shoes off the couch you bum

[emiko-matsui]

hello this is my official list of what i think every member of the bau would work with if they wouldn't work at the bau like if that wasn't a reality you get me

——

Jason Gideon: look i know this is technically canon but i truly do think he would be an author and would guest lecture a bit in his later years and like sure he could still write true crime books but also just regular crime novels i think this old man would just like to write

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: i think she would work inside of the media, not in front of the camera necessarily but as a communicator or similarly inside of the media and the news. however i think there's a possibility of a divergence of path for her, i think its possible she could end up in a hostage situation due to her job in a similar situation like in neon terror and would start working out as a coping mechanism and like genuinely would pick up a (extra?) job as a personal trainer at her gym

Derek Morgan: firefighter. that's it i don't know what to say other than that, derek would 500% be a firefighter. there's nothing else. now that i think about it derek should've been a firefighter from the beginning fuck the bau this is his true calling don't even @ me

Elle Greenaway: similarly to JJ i think elle would work inside of the media but as an investigative journalist. well i think she would start out as a regular journalist but become an investigative journalist after a while because her drive would be too big you get me. also niche but i think that when she was a teen she was like briefly a singer like you know robin from how i met your mother but she would've made angry girl music

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: genuinely don't think this punk could stay away from the government so i think he would still work a fancy government job just not inside of the bau, maybe not even the fbi but i so think he'd still be in government. now what i have no idea because i know nothing about the government especially the american government seeing as im not even remotely american

David "Dave" Rossi: now i don't even know if this fucking counts but you know those really fancy shops that are like made of dark smelling wood and is called something extravagant with a cursive gold font and they sell like cigar or wine or herbal products or like mustache wax or whatever the fuck you know the places im talking about. i think rossi would work there and be that old man at the counter who will come up and talk to you and you have no idea if he just works there and is really invested in this stuff or if he owns the place or just a really weird costumer but then he's the one you pay too so you assume it's his but the moment you step out of the store you've forgotten his face and you never want to go back there but you always think about it once a month or something. if you don't know what kinda place im talking about consider yourself lucky

Penelope Garcia: if the bau wasn't even a prospect here there's no question that penelope would still be a hacker illegally and make most of her money from there but i also think that she would work in a small second hand shop with lots of old trinkets and clothes and stuff just because she genuinely thinks it's fun to work there and also the old woman who owns the shop lets her be on the computer when there's no costumers in the store. i just think she would sit there in her cupcake dress next to a ceramic old cat from the 1930s talking to bernice about her grandson while hacking jeff bezos on her computer

Spencer Reid: now it's time for spencer all over the place reid who i think would work at like one of those really prestige but still public libraries where like everyone is welcome but they have like locked rooms with super valuable books and stuff and he kinda does whatever there bc sometimes he gives tours talking about thr history of the building and stuff and sometimes you find him at the counter ready to guide you to the specific book you're looking for plus twenty other recommendations you should read if you like this book and sometimes you find him in a window reading and his coworkers politely ignore he's had his "break" for three hours now bc he guided 17 tours yesterday (only ten were scheduled) and they suspect he mightve slept here. plus in his spare time i think he would do some independent work to keep him stimulated with stuff but that's not a fully developed idea yet

Stephen Walker: this might be controversial but i think stephen would be a guidance counsellor at like a school and i don't know why but he has the vibe and i think he would be quite good at it. maybe he just gives me more official jawbone vibes from dimension 20

Emily Prentiss: i firmly believe this woman cannot hold down a job for her life. i think the bau and interpol were flukes in her reality because im quite certain emily would physically not be able to keep one job for longer than a year. if you mention a job she's probably done it. she's done everything from high positions in government to bagging groceries to leading seminars to breeding puppies. listen emily prentiss is a lesbian ex goth trust fund kid (like canonically yall). i think right now she's working with the lights for a theatre production and she's liking it and seems to have a knack for it

Tara Lewis: this one's out there but i think she would work as a principal at a university (do universities have principals?). but like the one who's in charge of a school but like advanced studies with like adults study after they've already studied if you know what i mean. idk i just think that's what she would be

Luke Alvez: hate to do this to luke but he would simply just be a cop. or like a detective (that's like a promotion for a cop in america right? bro my knowledge extends to brooklyn 99 and brooklyn 99 only). i hope this is because i feel like luke is the serious crime version of jake peralta and jake is the sitcom version of luke. anyway, cop

Matt Simmons: this is my magnum opus but bro i think he would be a podcaster. i think he would do a podcast with kristy. for everyone who follows my blog think justin and sydnee mcelroy but matt is sydnee. i think they would have a little podcast together. after his unit at the fbi (?) got got by linda barnes i think he would retire home and start doing podcasting full time with kristy. this is my hot take

Kate Callahan: because such a central part of kate's personality/backstory is that her sister died in 9/11 i think that kate would've been a nurse. specifically a nurse not a doctor and i don't think it's because a lack of competence or anything like that fuck u no i genuinely think kate wanted to be a nurse and chose to study to become that. her hours would still be crazy but maybe meg isn't as worried about her now

Ashley Seaver: i don't have a lot for seaver but i think she would work in local government more centralised like those guys from parks and rec and yes i realise ive made way too many references that some people might not understand but here we are. i think seaver would do whatever leslie does in parks and rec or something like that

Alex Blake: this is just a formality to have her on here because she's literally a linguistics professor in the show

[diningpageantry]

21 questions

thanks for the tag, @thehoneyedhufflepuff @sharkmartini and @angelsfalling16 !

nickname: anï is technically my nickname, but i’ve adopted it as my name generally. while my legal first name doesn’t make me dysphoric, it’s just hard for people to pronounce, so i’ve just shifted to generally using anï. plus it makes me feel a bit better. also, i go by my preferred middle name, which is ezra

real name: anaïs ! my legal full initials is aec, but my legal middle name makes me dysphoric so i changed it recently to a name with the same first letter,

zodiac: virgo. i’m gay but not an astrology gay so all i know is i’m a virgo :/

height: 5′4 (technically 5′3.5, but they can’t put half inches on IDs so on documents im 5′4 (:<)

what time is it: currently, 6:11PM EST

other blogs: @xxdeathspellsxx (my MCR side blog that i’m pretty active on)

how many blogs do i follow: 275 ! i’m actually shit at following people and regularly forget to follow friends (i’ve been called out on this, and i deserve it)

what am i wearing right now: dark grey crewneck and pajama bottoms i stole from a friend, and i guess if you wanna count jewelry i’m wearing my fitbit, my star of david necklace, and my piercing jewelry

drink of choice: shit. i’ll just give a list. water with lemon, coffee with too much cream & sugar, earl grey with sugar and milk, cel-ray tonic. alcoholic drinks, i like rosé but i’m not really picky with wine, sweet revenge whiskey, and mango white claws (i’m sorry but they’re so good)

celebrity crushes: ger.... gerard way......... (nonbinary icon)

favorite musician/group: mcr (see: my mcr side blog, my mcr radio show, my mcr shrine, my mcr ringtone... ya get the point)

do i get asks: relatively regularly, yeah! i get probably way too many when i do ask games when i do ficlets based off asks, and usually can’t finish all of them but i try to do as many as possible. i try to answer whatever asks i have the energy for, but sometimes i have to guiltily delete asks (on this topic: please never send me an ask saying not to use the term “queer” on my account. i mean this in the nicest way, but if you have a problem with me using the term queer, you should probably not be following my blog)

tumblr crushes: uh... i mean in the classic “these are the blogs you like the most from”, yes, of course, but in the sense of “i adore you”, there’s a small handful

dream car: i can’t drive fuck ideally, i’d be riding a motorbike.

instruments: violin since i was 2. i know a few chords on the guitar, but my hands are ridiculously small so it’s hard for me to play. and i suppose my voice, since i can sing like, decently enough

random fact: i’m disabled, which is just how it be sometimes. i’ve got an odd case of seizures that seem to be epileptic, but how they present have had my past neurologists scratching their heads. but the general consensus is that they seem to be partial complex. occasionally, when i’m walking long distances (and usually alone), i’ll walk with a cane in case i have an episode and i don’t have access to something/someone to lean against, so i stabilize myself on the cane. it has stickers on it.

favorite sports team: i don’t have a team, but i’m from philly and i love our sports mascots. gritty and the phanatic are my loves. i have a shirt that says “gritty is nonbinary get over it” and i adore it

lucky number: repetitions of 3, specifically 27

dream vacation: english countryside. i... don’t have much else to say here.

favorite food: soup, generally. specifically, matzo ball soup (homemade. i make the best matzo ball soup and i stand by that)

languages: english, and a bit of brazilian portuguese (really rusty on this one; spoke it a lot more as a child). my dream is to one day speak yiddish and learn ASL, tho

tags..... aaa....aaaaAAAAAA i don’t know who to tag, bc it seems like everyone i know has done this, so once again, go ham and say i tagged you if you wanna do this!

[elnorasims]

simself tag

i was tagged by the amazing @surreysimmer and @dawsim thank u lovelies :3

im not sure who has done it and i think im kinda late on the bandwagon so if you want to do it feel free to say i tagged you xo

traits: foodie, goofball, lazy [and i included my doggo bc he is my son]

You have to make a simself and put whatever you wish there, traits, anything about you.  After the keep reading thingy are +100 questions I found that you can answer if you want, but you don’t have to. i’ll put it below :]

What is your full name? abbiegaile

What is your nickname? abbie, ab, abz, fannyanne [lol dont ask pls] and my last name

Birthday? december 28th binch it’s comin soon

What is your favorite book series? oof idk maybe lord of the rings and tmi

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? maybe im too skeptical 

Who is your favorite author? idk oops

What is your favorite radio station? um idk maybe capital fm or smooth radio

What is your favorite flavor of anything? coffee yum

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? cool, amazing, ‘wow’ (also its bugging me that this font size is bigger idk how to fix it im not that tech savvy)

What is your current favorite song? i honestly couldnt choose

What is your favorite word? lol idk maybe like pipette or something

What was the last song you listened to? gold dust

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? oof i have a lot - big mouth, south park, game of thrones and outlander

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i love me some rom-coms like idk maybe 10 things i hate about you

Do you play video games? yup - maybe a little too much

What is your biggest fear? the unknown (so pretty much everything lol)

What is your best quality, in your opinion? idk maybe that im approachable?

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i over-analyse situations a lot

Do you like cats or dogs better? dogs 100 percent

What is your favorite season? either autumn or winter

Are you in a relationship? yes <3

What is something you miss from your childhood? lol this is dark and deep but not having to worry about things like i do now

Who is your best friend? my boyfriend

What is your eye color? blue

What is your hair color? it’s technically blonde n im naturally blonde but it’s gotten dark over the years so my roots are brown but i have blonde highlights and this was a complicated answer to such a simple question wow

Who is someone you love?  my family, my dog n my boyfriend

Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend

Who is someone you think about often? um

Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas tbh

What is your biggest obsession? i have way too many obsessions i look at something for more than 5 seconds and im obsessed its unhealthy

What was your favorite TV show as a child? bear in the big blue house as a little kid shout out to that fkin og show

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? boyfriend lol

Are you superstitious? boy do i 

Do you have any unusual phobias? i guess i have a phobia of bellybuttons lol

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind definitely

What is your favorite hobby? reading

What was the last book you read? the help by kathryn stockett

What was the last movie you watched? um idek i havent watched one in so long

What musical instruments do you play, if any? lol i wish

What is your favorite animal? polar bears

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i can’t choose just 5 its impossible

What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation

When and where do you feel most at peace? in my room lying down in bed reading

What makes you smile? a lot of things 

What sports do you play, if any? lol no

What is your favorite drink? caramel frappe from mcdonalds yum

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? hm idk maybe a card if that counts for my sister

Are you afraid of heights? nah

What is your biggest pet peeve? when ppl scratch the carpet with their nails lol

Have you ever been to a concert? yes

Are you vegan/vegetarian? no

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a singer

What fictional world would you like to live in? id love to live anywhere in middle-earth but most likely the shire *_*

What is something you worry about? everything

Are you scared of the dark? no

Do you like to sing? yh

Have you ever skipped school? yeah...too much

What is your favorite place on the planet? my room or tokyo

Where would you like to live? somewhere peaceful

Do you have any pets? a dog called brandy

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? a night owl def

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets

Do you know how to drive? no

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds r more comfortable but i prefer headphones

Have you ever had braces? no

What is your favorite genre of music? indie chill

Who is your hero? my mom

Do you read comic books? rarely

What makes you the most angry? horrible people

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? real book

What is your favorite subject in school? psychology

Do you have any siblings? an older bro n an older sis

What was the last thing you bought? mcdonalds lmfao

How tall are you? 5′8

Can you cook? no

What are three things that you love? my fam/dog/boyfriend, cuddling up in a warm blanket on a cold night and peace

What are three things that you hate? horrible people, my anxiety and um idk

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? idk i think equal

What is your sexual orientation? i dont rlly like putting labels onto things

Where do you currently live? england

Who was the last person you texted? friend

When was the last time you cried? yesterday

Who is your favorite YouTuber? david dobrik, pewdiepie, um i also have a fkin love for like study youtubers 

Do you like to take selfies? nah

What is your favorite app? idk lol i dont rlly have one

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? ..

What is your favorite foreign accent? australian most likely

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? tokyo

What is your favorite number? 2

Can you juggle? no

Are you religious? nope

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? space but they both scare the shit out of me

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? no way

Are you allergic to anything? no

Can you curl your tongue? yes

Can you wiggle your ears? no

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? if im wrong i admit it 

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? to just ‘do more of what makes you happy’ and that it’s ok to feel bad emotions it’s just important to control them

Are you a good liar? nah

What is your Hogwarts House? hufflepuff

Do you talk to yourself? yeah

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

Do you keep a journal/diary? i do if my anxiety is hella strong i like to let it all out

Do you believe in second chances? depends on context

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? probs hand it in

Do you believe that people are capable of change? depends on context

Are you ticklish? a little

Have you ever been on a plane? no

Do you have any piercings? ears

What fictional character do you wish was real? hmm idk maybe jamie fraser from outlander

Do you have any tattoos? no

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? to stop caring about what other ppl think of me

Do you believe in karma? sort of

Do you wear glasses or contacts? i should bc im short sighted but i cba

Do you want children? yes but not until im a lot older

Who is the smartest person you know? my boyfriend

What is your most embarrassing memory? um

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes

What color are most of you clothes? black

Do you like adventures? yes if im not being lazy lol

Have you ever been on TV? dont think i have

How old are you? 18 

What is your favorite quote? dont have one im boring

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory

[cryptidofthekeys]

All the writer asks!!!!!!

I’ve already answered the pen n paper one so I’ll leave that one out and answer the rest haha

ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?

hmmm… well to usually set the mood would depend on the type of story I’m writing, if its horror/really angsty shit then I’m definitely going for dark themed music, if its something fluffy n cute- then im gonna go for some really happy upbeat music, so to set the mood- it’d usually depend on the genre

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?

……Shhh… Let’s keep those my dirty little secret… (their not nsfw, thats not what I mean by that just to clarify)

journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?

Hmm I guess I’ve done it once or twice before, but I dont do it too often-

novella: do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?

I don’t think I’ve even came CLOSE to an entire novel but, I do a lot of short-stories and ESPECIALLY one-shots, im not very good at chapter based stories or anything

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.

Ooooh fuck this is a tough one, Im too lazy to link it but- in my Yan!Henrik story there were some parts I ABSOLUTELY loved and felt were p damn good and in the werewolf story I wrote as well, some good parts in there too, but I definitely feel more fond over some of the scenes in the Yan!Hen story than any other one

genre: what genre do you prefer to write in?

Honestly, I’m pretty open to genres, like- fantasy, science-fiction, etc- the whole shabang- im not too picky bout any of them-

narrator: what pov do you like writing in best?

hmmm I guess like- wouldnt it technically be in third person with the way I write, for the reader its always You and or they, I always keep a story gender-neutral so that way all readers can be who they want to be in the stories, it can give them a better chance to imagine themselves in said position, now if i got a specific thing to do, male, female, non-binary, etc- then yeah I’d do that

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

That’s a- actually kinda simple tbh- its not an interesting story- At first I was actually unsure about it, but then- the more I wrote, the more I got super into it-  It was just… super fun to me after I did it for awhile

time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)?

It’s a hobby for now, but I do wish I could open commissions- but hmm its been like, maybe 5-6 years by now, maybe even a bit longer

characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.

You should know this for sure haha, my favorite characters to write with tho- I’ll just say who they are, all the septic egos p much except… im still not too confident with writing Angus yet, some of the Iplier egos, like the Jims, Harold, and Eric, and I’m trying to branch out to other fandoms, I like writing with David n Daniel, from the cc fandom, and I’m trying to work on Dream Daddy characters too, Joseph, Robert, Mary, etc- and then my own characters too- I dont write wiht them often but I try

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

hmmm… I get inspired fairly easily so it’d be hard for me to name anything like that off the top of my head tbh

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

…. Why not ALL the tropes? …okay maybe not ALL of them

o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?

Eh, im a p open person to tropes/genres- I mean unless like a trope could count as in, like- “it was all a dream” or “you were the killer all along” or some shit like that, then that type of shit isnt REALLY my cup of tea

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

There’s a lotta things I think I could improve on, honestly… I think, its not a matter of insecurity really, more so like- no matter who you are, there’s always room for improvements, I think we all improve on things every day, writing, drawing, roleplaying, even simple things- after all, there’s nowhere to really go except forward in life, so I just tend to go with my own flow, and if I improve than I’m happy with that, if I dont? Welp, that just means I still have a bit to go-

playlist: what kind of music/songs help you write? do you have a writing playlist?

oh god I w i s h I was organized enough to fucking- have a writing playlist ashdjshfdsj, it just depends on my mood- sometimes I get distracted by songs tho-

record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?

…I wrote one, its a really old one and im not too proud of it, but, people like it apparently so I keep it up since it seems to make em happy and thats what matters in that regard, but nah im not BIG on writing things based off songs

nobel: have you published anything you’ve written? online or irl?

Hmmm not yet, I don’t think I’m ready to physically publish my stories or anything, although my dad does encourage it, he tells me I should find a publisher or whatever and publish some stories (it wouldnt be ones with like- characters from things like camp camp, dream daddy, etc of course- it’d be ones with my own characters)

notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?

D e f i n i t e l y a specific place and mood, my mood’s totally off and wrong right now and its frustrating bc im trying to write but the body and brain is like no motherfucker, be in pain and hate me more than you already do

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

I dont… know if ANY of my personal life has… influenced my writing? not that I know of anyways

dedication: if you were to publish a book or multiple, who would you dedicate the book(s) to?

I think… I dont know who I’d dedicate the books too or anything-

trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing?

…honestly? The one pet peeve I, myself, have with writing is the I/Me POV- now of course its fine if others use it, it could be easier to them, or they simply like it a lot, but I myself, just- cant fucking s t a n d that type of pov

input: what’s something you hate that people say to you about writing/your writing?

Okay- I need to be honest here, bc I get a lot of them, when I constantly state that I only do one shots and not chapter stories but the whole “pls continue” “another part to this please” “Do more of this” that doesnt really make me wanna do more, it makes me wanna move on actually from any of that, like im not about that plz continue, do more!!! type of comments

critic: what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about writing?

Oh god I’ve received TONS of good advice from people, especially when it comes to some of the German I use for Henrik, I will admit… I’ve been severely slacking with learning my German, and I…. I deeply regret it tbh, but- I never mind and am actually grateful when someone corrects me when using a word incorrectly in a sentence or whatever

mifflin: what do you feel is your strong suit in writing?

A n g s t

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

I love all compliments tbh, I especially love comments on my angst like NO HOW DARE YOU OP, or OP wha t the f uck- my  he a r t, or anything like that- …im a sadistic lil gremlin arent I? I love breakin hearts with angst, but like any compliments I receive on my stories are all greatly appreciated, I just most of the time I dont have the time to respond to them, BUT- I do read em, every last one of em-